#thought maybe somebody might find this thought provoking idk

[possible-eldritch-catboy]

lmfao thinking on the mbti stuff it's really fuckin funny cause like,, ppl wanna insist intp and infp are practically functional opposites, because one consults a logical framework however personal to make decisions, weighing options and their possible consequences, while infp consults personal thoughts feelings and emotions to form a moral and emotionally gratifying decision. and sure!! on paper these sound very functionally different. in practice for me tho?? less so!! bc ofc I try to make the most logical decision, but are possible thoughts, feelings, and moral interpretations completely unworthy of consideration when making a logical decision?? no. very much the opposite.

(full rant and reasoning under the cut here :3)

because neurochemistry begs to reason that feelings stem from biological necessities of some sort, and can therefore inform more personal decisions equally or even more reliably than some frameworks of "logic". to try to completely sterilize logic of all emotion is to deny the merit of biochemistry, and in deeply personal situations in which the consequences are less material and external than they are emotional and therefore physical, this is an exercise in futility at its finest. after all, in cases of toxic relationships, perhaps "logically" it would make sense to stay with a toxic partner, because on paper they seem to bring more good than bad.

perhaps they're talented with finances, have a well paying stable job, give frequent gifts and praise, and are loyal and don't keep secrets. but, perhaps by that same token, they're uncommunicative or cold in their mannerisms, they don't seem to adequately communicate care or tenderness, they have irksome habits that make it hard to live together, and perhaps they have a temper that makes them argumentative and unsympathetic.

by some frameworks of logic, perhaps you should stick it out to see if these troublesome feelings based issues can be resolved. however, with interpersonal relationships, these things are highly subjective to how this person makes you feel on a day to day basis. if you generally feel these issues are small and fixable, then by all means, sure. a toxic relationship has the potential to improve, sure. however, if you feel fundamentally as though your communication styles are incompatible and you don't feel loved the way you know you ought to feel loved in a relationship, feel respected the way you should be, and you don't feel as though communications can improve, then despite ample reason to stay, that's plenty adequate reason to leave.

even if it seems "crazy" or "illogical" to leave such a "good" partner, if you feel it isn't working, then it isn't working. you can't force it to. that, I feel, is the well roundedly logical answer. to consider feelings as a logical variable. not of course THE logical variable to decide all others, but one in many with its merits not unlike any other.

moral questions are the same. these are much more complex, as humans are only that, and feelings inform logic and legality (ESPECIALLY LEGALITY) much more than "cold, hard facts" types are often willing to admit, but that makes it much more important to consider all sides to a moral dilemma before decisive action is taken. harm reduction (punishment) and positive impact (rehabilitation/community care) are sometimes pitted against each other as opposite consequences of moral decisions, but a well roundedly logical solution (if one Can be reasonably found and enacted) should keep both solidly at the forefront of its decisive reasoning.

compromises should be made where necessary, and as many variables should be considered as possible, as humans are complex and societies are built on relationships, systems, and inherently personal goals and agendas, even and especially in groups and teams. to imply otherwise is naivety. to simplistically imply inherent selfishness and lack of morality on all ends is laziness. humans are complex creatures, and the only sort of logic that exists to us is also something invented, something felt as much as it can be observed (for there is no truly unbiased observation; everyone can only see from their own individual perspective).

for these reasons, I feel to be a true "thinking" type, one absolutely must be wary of emotion, yes, as it is subject to subconscious, environmental, and chemical sway, but one must absolutely never disregard emotion entirely. One cannot cleanly compartmentalize all of human experience into "emotional" and "logical", because they will always, always feed into one another. there is logical merit in tenderness, in kindness, in working towards a world in which man thrives, logic and emotion intertwined in symbiotic harmony. there is logical merit in art, expression, and feeling. to imply otherwise is baselessly cruel, and cruelty, as one may observe interpersonally and historically, is a cheap and self destructive means to survival that ultimately hurts the whole and therefore hurts the individual.

there is no human damage that can be isolated in its entirety. there is no war that is waged purely by the few and felt only by the few. there is no suffering of the many that will not threaten the few. there is no society built on violence and fear that does not eventually fall. nothing is built to last forever, but terror least of all.

thx for coming to my ted talk this has been your local intp who's incREDIBLY HORRENDOUSLY sick both of "feelings are always logical and right" and "logic is always unfeeling and therefore 'good' " pathways of thinking. please for the love of FUCK get it together. literally. get your fragmented theoretic boondoggling and put it all together. please stop trying to completely separate out and reject parts of the human experience PLEASE INTEGRATE IT ALL INTO ONE COMPREHENSIVE WORLD VIEW PLS

[settolow]

The Breakup Song (Dean x Reader)

It’s All Fun and Games...

(Part I)

Type: idk 

Word Count: 1,200

Author’s note: So I wrote this out of boredom, but I actually like it. 

.............................................................................................................................

You walk aimlessly around the vast backyard of the imposing studio, enjoying the goosebumps created by the chilly gusts of wind. It’s sometime after two in the morning, lights are turned off, leaving you alone with the stars and the velvety darkness of the night sky. Once upon a time you fell in love with loneliness. You fell so hard it consumed your soul and you were nothing but a slave to the feeling. He was fast asleep on one of the couches from his study room when you left the room, which was perfectly fine with you since it was utterly exhausting for you to keep being chatty and loving.

You sat on one of the plush chairs from the gazebo, lighting up a cigarette. The air always felt different when everyone was asleep.

“That’s not very nice,” You jumped at the sound of male’s voice. Looking around the gazebo, you found him sitting in a chair, hidden in the shadows. Dean.

“I’m not proud of it either,” you responded as you took the first drag of your cigarette. There was always a funny feeling whenever you did that, almost as if the drug was ticking its way down your lungs. It was, to say at least, addicting.

Your eyes shifted back to Dean, just to find him watching you intently, or better said, analyzing you.

“What?” you asked, and for the first time your voice no longer quivered around him.

“It’s not your fault,” was all he said before fishing out something from his pocket. A cigarette.

You rose an eyebrow and watched him lit it trying in the same time to mask your fascination. He made every mundane thing look fascinating, or maybe it was just you being a weirdo again.

A small click pierced the silence and he brought the lighter closer to the cigarette in his mouth. The small flame illuminated enough for me to make out his face though the darkness.

“What exactly are you talking about?” You asked, refusing to believe that he might have read you like an open book. You made sure to be everything he’s ever wanted—kissing him whenever you could, messaging him daily, making sure he was taking care of himself.

Dean gave you one of his mysterious smiles which made people immediately believe he was an angelic human. Fragile and benevolent. But you knew better. Whenever Dean smiled, he hid a piece of Hell behind it.

Dean. Dean. Dean. The name had a somehow melodic note in your head. You refused to call him, or even think about him using his real name because that meant giving a more personal note to your nocturnal meetings. You two never used names with each other because you didn’t need to. There was no one around when you met anyways. It was always after midnight and after you thoroughly looked around, thus you would be sure that there was nobody around the gazebo.

“Hell is not somewhere you go. Hell is something you carry around with you,” he said out of a sudden, as if reading my thoughts…again.

“How do you do that?” you voiced, utterly confused. “And stop quoting books.”

He took another drag of the cigarette and looked at the royal blue sky before exhaling the remains of the drug in the form of a gray curtain of smoke.

“You’re quite easy to read. Whenever you think about him you have this deep frown etched on your face.”

“How can you be so sure about it? Maybe I think about ways of transcending my soul out of the ephemeral universe,” you replied sarcastically. “And why does everything have to be about him?”

“Because,” he started before a small laugh escaped his lips, “because you make everything about him. Can’t you see? You made him your whole spectrum of colors. He’s your whole goddamn rainbow while you are not even a color to him.”

“That’s not true!” You exclaimed but it was just a charade. You knew that everything he had just said was completely true.

“And moreover, you do this out of guilt. You do this because you’re the one who fell out of love first. You two are drifting apart—accept it, let it bleed, let it heal and start anew.”

There was a bottle of whiskey near Dean’s chair which you assumed it was his. You were about to snatch it when he extended his arm which was holding a glass filled with the amber colored liquid. You took it and brought the glass to your lips before taking a big gulp. The taste and the burning sensation was enough to provoke you a wave of nausea but you were also craving that sensation of numbness, thus you took another gulp.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you coming here every night?”

“Isn’t this space for everybody who lives in this building?” He smirked before lighting up another cigarette.

“Do you think I’m stupid? Whenever I come here I see you watching me from your balcony, and then minutes later you come downstairs.” You frowned at him.

“So, you’re looking at my balcony whenever you come downstairs?” He retorted, clearly enjoying the banter and the way it affected you.

“Maybe I do it out of fear. You may be a serial killer or something,” You sassed but he saw right through you.

“Or maybe you come here knowing I’ve been watching you for some time and you want to know me better.”

“Interesting concept,” you feigned mediation. “But that’s not my style.”

“No, it’s absolutely not,” he sighed. “You prefer to stay with him and his lies because they match well with yours.”

You hated that side of Dean—the one who seemed to be able to transcend the layers of your being until he was able to reach the part you were hiding from the world. The parts that assembled your true self.

“You are beautiful,” he whispered as he looked into your eyes.

“I’m not.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” he smiled as his hand reached out and carefully palmed a strand of your hair.

You were starting to lose yourself into his eyes when your phone rang. It was your alarm warning you that you had to go upstairs before he was going to wake up and see you were missing.

“You’re leaving me,” Dean muttered as his lower lip jutted out, looking at you with a pretty dsmn good puppy face.

“Like every other night,” you retorted before making you way back to your apartment.

Like every other night… when you would try to escape him and everything that was related to him. However, it was all fun and games…until somebody fell in love.

  ..........................................................................................................................

Guys, if you want a second part please let me know <3

[marypsue]

for the symbyote Ford au, (idk if I spelled that right) how would the whole ending of Weirdmageddon go down?

Well, I don’t know about the whole ending, but I do have this:

…

Ford comes to.

He doesn’t open his eyes, not right away. He’s lying on something warm and unpleasantly fleshy, there’s a faint smell of something bitter burning and the occasional distant shriek, and his head is full of static.

Ford doesn’t have to open his eyes to know that something is terribly, terribly wrong.

He doesn’t want to open his eyes, doesn’t want to have to face what Bill has done to this world. But every time he tries to scan the room, the static in his head only grows worse, rising to a sharp mosquito whine that razors through his thoughts and makes him wince.

“WELL WELL WELL! LOOK WHO DECIDED TO JOIN US!”

Ford grinds his back teeth together, but it’s too late. Bill Cipher knows he’s awake. There’s no use in pretending anymore.

He opens his eyes and pushes himself up, and immediately discovers why the surface he’s been lying on is so unpleasantly fleshy. It’s because it’s flesh. Living, very humanlike flesh. In the shape of a sofa.

An eye blinks open in the cushion where his head had just been, rolling to meet Ford’s horrified stare. Ford doesn’t manage to bite back the yelp as he jerks upright and stumbles off the couch.

Bill’s laughter is loud and cackling and grates across Ford’s ears like a saw. Ford gives himself the briefest of shakes, rallying his wits and squaring his shoulders as he turns to face Bill. He may have already made a fool of himself, but that’s no reason to allow Bill to see that he’s gotten under Ford’s skin. Whatever torture he has in mind, so long as he doesn’t get the reaction he seeks out of Ford, he’ll grow bored of it eventually.

Ford just has to hope that ‘eventually’ comes sooner rather than later.

Bill swoops in to settle on the sofa next to where Ford is standing, his single eye staring, heavy-lidded, over his martini glass at Ford, and the static filling Ford’s head grows louder and shriller. So that’s one mystery solved. Ford considers, briefly, pulling up the collar of his coat to cover his fronds and maybe keep Bill’s interference out of his head, but decides against it. Better not to show any weakness in front of Bill.

“What do you want, Cipher?” Ford demands, his voice slipping into a growl near the end of the sentence. Bill just blinks, once, slowly, lazily. Mockingly? Of course. This is Bill Cipher, after all. “Where are we? What is this?”

“OH, FORDSY, I’M HURT! DO I HAVE TO WANT SOMETHING FROM YOU TO MAKE SOME TIME TO HANG OUT WITH MY BEST FRIEND?” The words land like a crossbow bolt. Ford can’t hide the flinch. Bill’s stare doesn’t waver.

“You were never my friend,” Ford grinds out. “You got your apocalypse, Bill. What more could you possibly want from me?”

Bill finally breaks eye contact with Ford, looking into his martini glass as he swirls it gently back and forth. “OH, NOTHING MUCH! JUST ONE LITTLE EQUATION! YOU WON’T EVEN MISS IT!”

There’s something wrong here. What Bill asks for is never what Bill really wants. Despite the shriek and buzz of static, Ford takes another step towards Bill. “And what’s the catch?”

Bill blinks, in a parody of innocence. “CATCH? WHY, SIXER! IT’S LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN TRUST ME!”

“I don’t,” Ford says, proud of how level his voice stays. “I’m not giving you anything, Bill. You destroyed my universe! You’ll destroy every universe! I’ve devoted myself to stopping you. What makes you think that I’d ever give you anything, ever again?”

Bill doesn’t say anything. The corners of his single eye just turn, very slowly, up into a smile.

Ford takes a step back as Bill starts to rise, up off the couch, his glow flashing brighter and brighter with his growing laughter. Ford tries to back away further, but finds himself pulled up short, by glowing blue chains locked firmly around his wrists, his ankles - and his neck. He tugs at the restraints, trying to free himself, but only succeeds in crushing one of his fronds against the back of his neck. He nearly drops to his knees, eyes watering with the pain.

Bill’s laughter abruptly cuts off, and Ford finds himself staring up into one enormous eye. Bill hovers above him, huge and distorted and all too painfully real. His single eye is bright with maniacal glee.

“BECAUSE,” he booms, in a voice so deep it sets Ford’s joints rattling against each other and makes the teeth buzz in the back of his mouth, “YOU DON’T HAVE A CHOICE.”

For an instant, it’s like Bill’s body goes grey and hard - almost like stone - and a glowing yellow outline of Bill phases through it, reaching out for Ford. The static in Ford’s head shrieks, a piercing crescendo that whites out his vision for a split second. And then there’s a deep throbbing pain in the base of his skull the likes of which he hasn’t felt since he bonded with the symbiote all those years ago, and Bill is drawing back, shrinking in size even as he goes molten red with fury.

“WHAT!?” Bill thunders, in a voice that makes Ford’s ears ring. And even though he knows he shouldn’t provoke Bill, that the best way out of this is through, Ford can’t help but grin.

“You can’t get into my head anymore, Cipher,” he says, giving his fronds a flare for effect. “Not unless I invite you in, and - I may have been dumb enough to fall for your tricks once, but that won’t happen a second time.”

For a moment, Bill is so incandescently angry that Ford can feel the heat pouring off of his triangular face, can see the dark red (bloody, his mind traitorously supplies) walls of his luxurious prison wavering through the heat haze rising off of Bill.

Then Bill composes himself, running a hand over his topmost point like he’s running a hand through his hair, rolling his eye away from Ford as he cools back down to a glowing yellow.

“WELL,” Bill says, and Ford doesn’t like the look he gives the portrait of himself bedecked in furs and jewels and a golden crown, one foot planted triumphantly on the globe, that hangs over the fireplace. “WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY’S BEEN MEDDLING AGAIN!”

He spins back to face Ford just as Ford takes one cautious step backwards, and Ford freezes. Bill doesn’t have much of a face to speak of, but Ford still doesn’t like the look on it.

“YOUR FRIENDS ARE AWFUL SMART, FORDSY!” Bill says, and he’s positively beaming with malicious glee. Ford tries to swallow the lump that rises in his throat, but it’s no use. Bill has an idea, and Ford knows, already, that he’s not going to like it. “GIVING YOU SOMETHING THAT COULD KEEP ME OUT OF YOUR HEAD! BUT, SEE, THEY FORGOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT!”

Bill darts forward, faster than Ford can really see. One moment he’s hovering over the couch, and the next, his pupil is pressed nearly against Ford’s nose. The entirety of Ford’s vision is filled with white, laced with fine veins. The static in his head is grating, whining, overpowering any thought he might have had of how to trick Bill, how to get out of this situation, how to protect what remains of his world. There’s nothing but static, and pain, and the sinking dread in the pit of his stomach.

“MAYBE I CAN’T TOUCH YOUR MIND,” Bill says, cheerfully. “BUT NOW THAT I’VE GOT A PHYSICAL FORM AND COMPLETE DOMINATION OVER YOUR WORLD?“

He snaps his fingers.

The static filling Ford’s head…vanishes.

Ford has just enough time to realise what that means.

He looks up in horror, just as Bill points a finger and fires a bolt of blue light. The symbiote, hovering in midair beside him, is blasted into pieces when the light hits it. Bill raises his finger and thumb to his eye, which morphs into a mouth, and he blows on his finger like he’s blowing smoke away from the barrel of a gun.

For the first time in almost twenty years, it’s dreadfully silent in Ford’s head.

Bill grins with that nightmare of a mouth, before it shifts back into an eye. “JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, HUH, FORDSY?” he says.

This time, when he slips out of his physical form and into Ford’s mind, there’s nothing to stop him.

[tayegi]

Equilibrium is blowing my mind 😮😮😮 I never expected jungkook to suddenly turn into some possessive psycho jerk 😨😨 I really hope he gets his shit together. What the flying f*ck 😱😱😱 In fact It'd be cool if Jin suddenly showed up with food and The OC leaves that chaotic relationship for food 😂😂😂😂 EVRYONE WOULD PICK FOOD OVER RELATIONSHIPS. right ? Am i the only one lol *cries*

AHHHH THANK YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE FOR THEIR LOVELY ASKS!!! IT’S GOOD TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE HEALTHY, NON-PROBLEMATIC REACTIONS TO GROSS, CONTROLLING MEN! 

Anonymous said:Sorry for being late to the party lol, but I just read the new update of Equilibrium and I felt so fucking anxious and scared for the oc. I don't know how in the hell, some ppl find jungkook's actions hot when he is literally being psychotic and obsessive. Especially the part when he told her 'You'll regret it', he's basically threatening her there. It's obvious the whole relationship they have is toxic af and it only seems to be getting worse as time passes. Apart from that, have a nice day!

Anonymous said:OMG EQUILIBRIUM 11 Omg I still have goosebumps, like Jungkook was being so fucking possessive it scared the shit out of me. Even tho It was a shitty move for the oc to not attend his graduation, she still could had attended but that phone call... I don't want this to turn into some creepy murdering fanfic LOL. Ughhh Jungkook what is even going in your mind? I'll be looking forward to the next chapter! xx :)

Anonymous said:Dude, you did such a great job at writing o/c's anxiety in this chapter. I try not to be bias toward her, but it's really hard since the story us in her pov. I got seriously grossed out by JK, man. I was so uncomfortable with the whole morning ordeal. 😩 And his threat at the end?? I know it's a story, but I had my friend-instincts kick in and I just wanted to shake her and be like "PLEASE LEAVE THIS RN PLEASE" (1)

Anonymous said:(2) And I'm curious about how Jimin would react if he knew how JK was acting. He has this idea that JK is a perfect boy, but if only he knew...But, at the same time, they all have this distorted view of one another, huh? We see Jimin as Mr. Perfect cause that's how o/c sees him. I guess it goes into that whole "unreliable narrator" thing? I'm just writing what thoughts the chapter has provoked. I absolutely love how u pay attention to detail in this story!! Awesome job as usual, mane 😊🙆

Anonymous said:Jungkook needs to take a moment to realize how miserable and uncomfortable the OC is like my goodness. Things have gone waaaaaay downhill. Especially for the OC. Also Jungkook actions are just kind of creepy??? And just like so unhealthy. I know it can be really hard to get out of a relationship, and she still loves Jimin and all, but the OC needs to just get out of there.

Anonymous said:omg jk is becoming such a possessive creep like reading the last part gave me chills tbh. they all need to realize that this relationship is v toxic and dip out of it. i kind of expected this to become what it is from the beginning but you still added twists to it that caught me off guard, thanks for being a great writer lu

Anonymous said:oh man that last chapter. just really fucking scary.... i went back and reread the end of ch.10 to recap and it makes me wonder how far y/n's willing to go for what's "worth it" in exchange for her own personal well being. because fuck, what jungkook is exhibiting is extremely concerning. as always your writing is amazing! thank you for using your free time this way, i'm sorry people are being gross and rude. you don't deserve that kinda shit, lu :(

Anonymous said:I genuinely love how you describe the OC as a trapped bird, and seeing how Jungkook reacted to everything is actually causing me to fear for the OC's well-being. I just want her to exist the whole relationship and just hook up with sunshine, can do no wrong hobi instead of the possessive junglecock and the passive Jimin :/ just my thoughts. But you're an extremely talented writer and your PhD is more important than smutty fanfic, so take all the time you need

Anonymous said:Ok first of all what the hell at ppl asking u for quick updates cuz ive lived with phd students they literally have a never ending to do list and im so amazed at ur ability to find time to write unbelievable. U go girl. And 2ndly, the claustraphobia u mentioned that oc was feeling. That was so detailed and even i felt like i was in her place. And jk..uve characterized his possessiveness so well and i got so mad forgetting this was a fictional character i was ready to throw a chair

Anonymous said:eek jungkook is making the equilibrium relationship so unhealthy somebody punch him

Anonymous said:Jungkook makes me so uncomfortable and I can actually feel the claustrophobia that OC feels .-. Overall, really excited for the next parts and can't wait to reread to see if I can find more theories. Thanks for the new chapter!

Anonymous said:ch 11... HOLY FUCK SHE NEED TO GET OUT JK IS LOONEY!! you really know how to make a story really good dude. super excited for updates!! i'm really curious about jimin's thought process about all of this. you've given a really good insight on kook and oc but jimin is still a little hard for me to figure out, i assume that's coming soon? i feel for oc, i want to protect her and tell her she's stronger and smarter than all of this. she's worth more than all of this craziness!!! GIRL POWER!! lol

Anonymous said:Holy fucking shit everything is so messed up in equilibrium like !! I love it and at the same time i cry because of the way you describe the oc's feelings I SWEAR I CAN FEEL IT TOO HOW DO YOU DO THAT? I can feel everything, my heart is pounding so fast now. Im so into it and i just want her to run away from this toxic relationship and take care of herself first like i know she loves jimin to the core but she is more important my heart clenches at every exquisite word you writE THANK YOU SO MUCH

Anonymous said:The story is really great I love how original your writing is I don't even see the characters as Jm an jk Which allows me to see how disgusting they all let themselves be treated in the relationship, a lot of the times I feel like readers are blinded by the image of an idol it changes their perspective honestly even if it was just one person who was lying about loving the other it would still be just as horrible I'm really curious as to what's even going on and how you are going to continue it❤️

ahmie-cat said:I feel so sad for the oc in equilibrium. Jungkook don't own nobody! How dare he claim ownership on the oc! I will fight him any day! I'll fight for the oc's freedom rights. Lols, just kidding... But really all of the characters are so sad...

Anonymous said:Honestly in the earlier chapters i really liked Jungkook but now hes just scaring me. The way the OC reacts to all his actions is so relatable thats exaclty how I would feel in her situation. This is crazy I dont even know how this fic would end I love it so much

Anonymous said:I was the anon who recommended you watch wfkbj and I'm so glad you like it!! :) ALSO the latest chapter of equilibrium was so good oh my god;; it's just ramping up like tenfold and while I was reading it sometimes I just had to stop and take a breather bc of all the tension lol. Honestly I don't even know how the oc is dealing with jungkook rn bc his behavior would chill me to the very bone I would have to get out !!! Anyways as always thank you for updating

Anonymous said:ah goodness, it was autocorrect that changed jungkook to jongkook! maybe next time i'll just use jinglebook to refer to him instead thens ahahahah. "goodness gracious, jinglebook is hella possessive that i'm actually really scared for y/n :s"

Anonymous said:GIRL THANK YOU FOR UPDATING OMG IM SHAKING IN MY CHANKLAS JUNGKOOK IS SO DELUSIONAL AND I WISHED OC WOULDVE BEEN STRAIGHT UP WITH HIM AND LIKE IDK NOT MILK ON HIS CRAZYNESS IM JUST SO ANXIOUS TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT SORRY FOR TYPING IN CAPS

Anonymous said:So, uh. Equilibrium Jungkook is fucking terrifying....

Anonymous said:I hope the oc in equilibrium leaves the relationship. It's so unhealthy and I feel like she might develop some type of mental illness or just be very stressed and anxious if she continues the relationship.... It's just a fanfic, but man, i'd hate to be in her position... I feel like crying Lols. Is this what you intended?? Haha.... It's really good so far I'm looking forward to what happens next. I feel like there'll be a good moral to the story. *Fingers crossing.

Anonymous said:Damn wtf jungkook behavior is freaking me out 😳 "you'll regret it" like wtf crazy people say shit like that

Anonymous said:jkzldlzlldz TF IS HAPPENING I'M SO CONFUSED JK IS CRAZY WTF OMG

Anonymous said:the characters in equilibrium seem to have never been in an actual proper relationship so the fact that they seem to have lasted this long is by sheer miracle. It's also probably why their worst aspects are even more apparent like jk's obsessiveness (which btw yikes boy yikesss) they literally all need to walk far far away from each other cause they a mess but I do wonder who's gonna be the first to do it cause it's all so complicated now, sorry for rambling I just love this fic so much!!

Anonymous said:What the ever loving monkey fuck is wrong with Jungkook. See, i was okay with him being jealous of Jimin because that's normal. I was moderately okay with OC agreeing to Jungkook's terms because she wants to stay with Jimin. I AM NOT OKAY with his sociopathic tendencies and how obsessive he's become. I think he's mistaken OCs genuine kindness for romantic interest at one point. And the thing that scares me the most is how Jimin seems to have no idea what's going on right under his nose as well

Anonymous said:Bruhhhh jungkook is legit fucking scary but the story itself is amazing and complex im gonna reread it right now

Anonymous said:Equilibrium is getting really interesting!! I'm kinda worried tht ppl read sentences like "Even a domesticated pet needs a taste of freedom" in context with her just /looking/ at jimin and think 'oh how romantic' tho. In every scene between her and jk u can practically feel her discomfort and fear and his possessiveness and how he's abusing her. I would normally stop reading a fic like tht bc I don't like it when the ppl are written like that bc they are real after all but I'm super hooked (1/2)

Anonymous said:(2/2)now and I am also really curious as to if and how they all are gonna get out of that situation or if jk kills her before they can just bc she takes care of a literally puking-everywhere-bedridden jimin. I'm also curious how Jimin is gonna act towards y/n now that they're alone and if he even noticed the toxic stuff that's happening between her and jk or if he didn't even notice bc jk kept him "happy" (idk how else to put it) so yeah. Keep up the great work!! Have a nice day xx

Anonymous said:GURL YOU NEED TO RUN FAST AND YOU NEED TO RUN FAR. It sucks that Jimin doesn't like OC romantically, but he's just using you to stay with JK. But JK... that shit is gonna hit the roof soon soon and it ain't gonna be pretty @.@

Anonymous said:Hey Lu, thanks for taking the time to update again~ Regarding the story...Jungkook is incredibly terrifying, like I had to step away a few times as I read because I just want the reader to leave so badly. I wish she would just be like "peace out". Everyone should just leave this situation and say "peace out". Even though I know the feelings are so complicated between all of them, it's just such a shit show on fire :( . Well done on setting everything up though. The tension is insane!

Anonymous said:Ugh I honestly want to slap Jungkook so hard. Possessive little shit.. As always your writing is amazing. Thank you for the update.

Anonymous said:OC, JIMINS DICK ISNT WORTH AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP GTFO THAT SITUATION GIRL IM SCREAMING

Anonymous said:JEONS FUCKED IN THE HEAD. HE WAS CUTE AND ALL AT FIRST BUT THEN IDK GIRL, I FEEL SORRY FOR JIMIN AND OC. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS HAPPENING ALL I KNOW IS I LOVE THIS AND I CERTAINLY LOVE YOU! IS HE PSYCHOTIC THO? FEELS LIKE JEON WOULD KILL ANYONE WHO DARE TO TOUCH OC..

mirajoey said:MY GAWDD!! Jeon Jungkook has gone mad😱 i pray for oc's safety

Anonymous said:i am terrified by jungkook's actions and NOTHING in this whole damn world is going to excuse what he is saying and doing in equilibrium. WHERE IS YOONGI DITCH THEM ALL Y/N AND GO FOR YOONGI. and today, i have been going through some really misogynic shit today and it felt so freaking uncomfortable and i was so angry and kind of frightened...i do not know how y/n is able to act like a normal person with jungkook around who is being very possessive and psycho-like

Anonymous said:When I first saw you updated Equilibrium I almost yelled "IMMA BUST MY LEFT NUT" (I was really excited lol) and now I'm lying here in a puddle of emotion really scared for the OC lol. I adore your writing so much, thank you for writing these xx

Anonymous said:JEON YOU CREEP. Man this is all such a disaster BUT I LOVE TO WATCH THE DRAMA UNFOLD. Anyways it was a great chapter and I am so e x c i t e for the next part to start. You da best 😆

Anonymous said:This is what your writing does to people, this is literally the only time I've ever dislike Jungkook that much in a fic. I wanted the OC and Jungkook together, but now I really thing all 3 should go their separate ways. Jungkook's possessiveness is getting too much, it's too obsessive. I feel sorry for her, but at the same time her own fault as well. As for Jimin who knows he may not be as oblivious as we think ?! He is using the OC to get with Jungkook in the first place.

Anonymous said:Equilibrium OC should just pack her fckin' bags there is no happy way out of this one

Anonymous said:(1/3) Right before I read this I watched this British PSA music video about abusive relationships, where a pregnant woman was choked to death by her boyfriend as she was trying to leave him and I feel like these people who romanticize these types of relationships forgot that this actually happens IRL. This happens to real women and men and some of them don't make it out alive. And when they try to defend it by saying "it's just a story, it's not real" it's very real for some people.

Anonymous said:(2/3) And the fact that the OC is having trouble sleeping and feeling this anxiety. And the that Jungkook didn't fell any sympathy/empathy for Jimin while he was ill, it just doesn't sit well with me. And the OC isn't innocent either. So afraid to shatter what's left of the already crumbling illusion she's built up. The need to keep the fantasy of this relationship with Jimin that I'm not sure existed outside of her mind. I really do enjoy this story and how you portray the characters.

Anonymous said:(3/3) The isolated relationships between the three of them is very realistic. I've seen some of my close friends go through similar situations. And it's hard to get out once you're in.Anonymous said:I cant believe anyone in their right mind is sympathizing with Jungkook in Equilibrium?! The way he is with Y/N makes me so uncomfortable, esp with his “You’re all mine” crap and being so “in love” with her when all he wants is to have her under his control even tho he thinks it’s love. Jimin too, the way he’s down to have Y/N in the relationship since JK wants her but she wants Jimin.. also I’m glad ur fanfics exist since they can give some girls a perspective on what’s NOT okay and NOT love

Anonymous said:' And if I find out you let someone else touch what's mine... you'll regret it' - I kept on reading this over and over but each time it makes me cringe more, the fact that he constantly calls her 'mine' is so fucking off, like as a kookier Stan in rl , I felt really bad for jungkook but now I find it so hard, this relationship is taking a big twist that I did not see coming and it's getting abusive real quick.

Anonymous said:(Cont last) I stood firm in my decision. On the last day that we talked, he finally understood why. It was only then he realized his mistakes, only then did he cry & apologize for everything. He tried to convince me to give him a chance but the time for that has already passed. We are officially over. I loved the guy, you know? and deep down, I know there's good in there. But I can't risk my heart and soul anymore. I'm sorry this has gone out of topic, I just needed to get it off my chest.

Anonymous said:(Cont.) When he got mad at me for one minor thing, he will accuse me of cheating and call me demeaning words. Our relationship was always on his terms. I was always the one apologizing & making an effort to make him happy. I paid for all our dates. Just wow, I'm stupid. After a fight early Feb, I got tired of it all. I broke up with him and that process took 7 fucking days in which he tried to convince that my reasoning was wrong and that he was right. My gut feeling was telling me to leave.

Anonymous said:just finished reading ch 11... yikes. like YIKES. oh my, I'm honestly very worried and scared for the oc. reading it actually made me anxious and nervous lol. that relationship is a nightmare oh sweetie no, she needs to leave asap

Anonymous said:(Cont. Part 3) I felt caged. I always had to inform where I was, who I'm with, are there guys going to be at the event I'm going to. If there were guys, he didn't want me to go. I couldn't even get a regular update from him where he was and couldn't check on his phone. As I said, I was being stupid. I tolerated all of his bullshit. When you're in an abusive relationship, you won't realize it immediately. He'll come off sweet and only wanting to protect you and your relationship.

Anonymous said:(Cont. Part 2) to the red flags he showed early in the relationship. He didn't want to me talk to any guy who wasn't a family and asked me to delete all the guys in my Facebook account. Stupid me did so because I believed him when he said that "It's not because I don't trust you, it's because I don't trust the people around you." I stayed loyal to him but he was always paranoid that I was cheating on him. When we broke up, I learned he was talking to lots of girls that's why he was so paranoid.

Anonymous said:I got curious and read Equilibrium. All I can say is whoa! The anxiety and fear that I felt was so visceral; it made me fill ill. I've recently broken up with my ex, who was like that - subtly emotionally and mentally abusive. I am fairly young, naive, and inexperienced in relationships. I had a low self-esteem. Growing up I felt that I was unattractive and no one would like me. He was the first guy to really pursue me and I guess I was so hungry for love and affection that I turned a blind eye

Anonymous said:oc's anxiety is getting worst in equal... 😞 i hope she gets out soon. i agree, SEND IN MAMA JIN! lol kook is getting crazier each chapter i'm getting scared for her well being 😟☹️😦. SHES WORTH MORE THAN THIS CRAZINESS!! 💔 side note, thank you for sticking to it, i know it's not easy. and thank you for updating. i always look forward to your work ❤

withlove-sydney said:Tbh I was worried that this story was gonna take a disturbing turn after jk revealed that he was purposely trying to keep jimin away in chpt 10 and this chapter just confirmed how toxic he is. I agree with that other person tho I'm glad that you're the one writing this because I trust that you won't try to romanticize this at all. My ex was really possessive like jk and its not cute or sexy at all. I ended up so scared of him and when I see similar things in fics it gives me chills...

btsninetyfiveline said:I just want to say thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for the relationship you're portraying in Equilibrium! It's soooooooo important to have stories that show abuse and possessiveness in an unhealthy light! I'm so tired of these "you looked at another guy for 5 seconds in the club so now I'm gonna take you home and show you who you 'belong' to" narratives. It's so important to address and educate young girls on signs of an emotionally manipulative relationship! 💕

Anonymous said:Hi Lu :) how are you? I love how you put out your stories unexpectedly, its always a pleasant surprise. Chapter 11 is so well-written (like all your work ofc).You set up the suffocating atmosphere perfectly with images and metaphors, like Oc's suffer is so real. I am really concerned about oc's mental health... in this chapter we see that she isn't in a good place and I am scared of what is yet to come. Thank you for your hard work. xo

Anonymous said:After reading chap 11, i feel so bad for the oc. Even reading about jk's possessiveness/threats makes me feel suffocated ;-; Though I'm excited for what's going to happen after he leaves for his trip hmm.... once again thank you for the update, Lu! :-) I'm really loving the pace of the story so far.

anonymouspseudonymous said:There's this anon that said "this ain't your ordinary fic where they all compromise and be happy" and i cannot agree more. Although, even if I get it that people hate JK for being cray, you have to punch Jimin as well hahaha idk man this is fucked

Anonymous said:I'm reading ch11 of equilibrium and the part where she wants to touch jimins face but jungkook has a tight grip on her wrist restricting her from doing so is so symbolic of their relationship and how she wants jimin so badly but jungkook is holding her back from him almost keeping her hostage in a way. Anyways I really enjoyed this part it gave me goosebumps so thank you for sharing your work with us even though you don't have to! You owe us nothing so I appreciate everything you give us💓💞💖💕

Anonymous said:I'm glad you don't tolerate the bullshit that jungkook isnt as bad as the protagnonist. People need to hear that that shit is toxic and manipulative. People are brainwashed into thinking it's romantic and okay. When it's absolutely not. No the protagonist isn't free of fault but she isn't being obsessively creepy.

Anonymous said:I think people tend to gloss over the fact that it IS an obsession (unhealthy and actually rather terrifying) and not actual "love" because they like the idea of someone doing anything to stay with them. But even in wanting to stay with someone, there have to be limits. You shouldn't end up losing yourself to someone if they want you as a person, not as just an object or a way to get what they want. There is a line between devotion and obsession, and people seem to ignore that all too often.