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fastandcarlos · 3 months ago

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Summer Break : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen

summary: with three weeks off to enjoy yourselves, you and max make the most of it adventuring together

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liked by ynusername, danielricciardo and 2,582,608 others

maxverstappen1: great way to end the first half of the season, looking forward to a nice break before pushing for the title 🏎️

138,163 comments

username1: congrats on such a great start to the season max

ynusername: can't wait to finally get you all to myself 🥰

danielricciardo: @/ynusername did max fail to tell you that i'm coming too?

maxverstappen1: @/danielricciardo like hell are you coming on holiday with us

username2: enjoy your break, you deserve a great rest ❤️

username3: how am i supposed to survive three weeks without you???

landonorris: try not to injure yourself, that would be a shame wouldn't it... 😭

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris careful you almost sound like a sore loser

username4: the title isn't far away...we know you can do it!!

username5: we all know you're going to win so there's no point even trying 💪🏻

redbullracing: thanks for all your hard work so far max, enjoy the break!

username6: that's more like it, my world champion! 🌍

georgerussell63: don't think we'll let you get that title so easily

username7: i can't wait to see what you and y/n get up to

alex_albon: can't wait to see you tonight on a double date we've had no say on

maxverstappen1: @/alex_albon i'm already sick of the sight of you 🙄

alex_albon: @/ynusername sort your man out

ynusername: @/alex_albon sorry the only reason i'm hanging out with you is to see lily 🤷🏻‍♀️

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liked by carmenmmundt, maxverstappen1 and 427,189 others

ynusername: belgium might be up there as one of my new favourite places. such a great way to spend the last couple of days before holiday season 🧇💕

42,816 comments

username8: i've never felt so jealous of a food pic in my life

carmenmmundt: and whereabouts was my invite to going and eating all the waffles?? 😭

ynusername: @/carmenmmundt you're still in monaco so stfu

username9: thank you for always showing up and supporting max yn!!

landonorris: i see, we all eat strict diets in the paddock and you walk around eating any sweet you can find 🙄

ynusername: @/landonorris perks of being a wag

username10: speaking for belgium, we'll welcome you back anytime 🇧🇪

danielricciardo: i don't recognise you with all these aesthetic photos these days

ynusername: @/danielricciardo thought i'd better up my game, aiming to graduate to a .jpg account soon

username11: pls yn we're relying on you for max spam over the next three weeks

maxverstappen1: glad you enjoyed the trip love, the perfect start to our break 💕

username12: it's not fair how one person can be as beautiful as you are

username13: i'm praying for plenty of yn posts to get me through this summer break 🙏🏻

alexandrasaintmleux: next year you're taking me to wherever that is

ynusername: @/alexandrasaintmleux pencilling it into my diary as we speak ✍️

username14: i just adore the relationship that yn and the drivers have together

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liked by landonorris, schecoperez and 2,173,690 others

maxverstappen1: up, up and away to our first destination. looking forward to a fun couple of weeks with my favourite person 🫶🏻✨

285,682 comments

landonorris: it’s taken four years but you’re officially an insta boyfriend 👏🏻👏🏻

maxverstappen1: @/landonorris if I knew what that meant I’d say thank you

username15: i cannot believe it's been two days and max has already posted omg 😱

danielricciardo: still offended that you didn’t organise this trip with me included

maxverstappen1: @/danielricciardo still offended that you think we’d want you as a third wheel on our holiday 😂

username16: two people are not allowed to be this beautiful on a flight

charles_leclerc: alex is also very disappointed that we didn't get an invite on this trip too...

username17: my heart can't take this and it's only the first post 😊

ynusername: tbh I’d go anywhere in the world as long as I was with you 🥺

username18: praying you two can have a peaceful break without any interruptions

redbullracing: safe travels and see you in three weeks!!

username19: are you really telling me that max managed to take a photo that good of yn???

aussiegrit: i don't recognise you on social media these days...

username20: my two favourite people in the world ahhhhhh 😍😍

oscarpiastri: i think i need one or two photography tips off of you verstappen!

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liked by maxverstappen1, lilymhe and 529,319 others

ynusername: enjoying the views and the company, never wanting this trip to end

22,492 comments

username21: damn yn you've got the best view out of all of us

alex_albon: you're obliged to come home as your absence is making my girlfriend incredibly annoying!!

danielricciardo: you two make me sick sometimes... 😂

ynusername: @/danielricciardo no one asked you to come and see this post??

username22: the beach photos omg i can't cope

landonorris: we get it. you're in love. now please stop bragging.

username23: what are you doing to me yn?? stop messing with my heart ❤️

maxverstappen1: you always manage to find those angles that make me look good!!

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 any angle of you is a good angle! 🥺

username24: well that's certainly one way to make us all jealous wtf

carmenmmundt: i fancy you so much omg

ynusername: @/carmenmmundt just missing my true partner in crime by my side 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

username25: these photos remind me daily why i dream of having a relationship like these two

charles_leclerc: now alex is mad at me that i've not taken her to a beach to see the sunset, thanks guys

ynusername: @/charles_leclerc @/alexandrasaintmleux i've got your back! 💪🏻

username26: all i want is to be lifted on the beach as beautifully as max lifts yn

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liked by redbullracing, danielricciardo and 528,193 others

ynusername: i promise i'm still making him work hard despite the fact it's off season. those other drivers won't know what's hit them soon

68,291 comments

username27: couples who train together stay together...or something like that 💪🏻

lilymhe: come and train me instead wtf...

ynusername: @/lilymhe i'm all yours when we get home i promise

username28: max secretly looks like he's loving it don't worry yn

georgerussell63: did you and carmen make a deal to torment your boyfriends with the gym over the summer?? 🤔

ynusername: @/georgerussell63 we just want you to look your best

username29: running must be easy with views as good as those

danielricciardo: stop showing off that your boyfriend is a professional athlete even whilst on holiday 😂

username30: now this is a world champion, on holiday and still making sure he's staying strong...

landonorris: do you reckon you could accidentally trip him up and rule him out for the next few months?? 🤔

ynusername: @/landonorris i'll break your ankle before i break his...

username31: notice the colour coordinated outfits? no? just me?

username32: this'll have the other drivers quaking in their boots yn hahah

schecoperez: how much did max protest that he wouldn't go out for a run?

ynusername: @/schecoperez i bet you deal with less tantrums at home then i do with him! 😂😂

username33: it's not fair, max is already at an advantage getting to work out with you!!

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liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc and 2,583,597 others

maxverstappen1: riding into the second half of the season like...

427,078 comments

username34: fast, strong and in the lead, just how you'll be for the rest of the season

landonorris: congratulations on finally making a funny post 👏🏻

username35: someone looks like they're showing off for their girlfriend lmao

charles_leclerc: damn you're such a cool kid these days

username36: no way did max come up with this caption, it's far too funny for him

ynusername: with how big a crash you had earlier i hope you don't race like that next week 😂

maxverstappen1: @/ynusername that was supposed to stay between us!! 🤫

username37: everyone say thank you yn for showing max how to do social media properly

carlossainz55: the name's verstappen...max verstappen 🕶️

danielricciardo: how much did you have to pay yn to come up with this caption for you??

username38: i don't think i'm prepared for the off season spam to end

username39: now we watch max go silent again until december when the season ends

redbullracing: we can assure you max will not be arriving back at red bull on jet ski fyi 😂

username40: out in front and world champion again no doubt!!

oscarpiastri: at least if you're on a jet ski i've got a chance of beating you... 🤔

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

983 notes · View notes

awearywritersworld · 9 months ago

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do not leave me in this abyss, where i cannot find you

sukuna x reader summary: the higher ups succeed in kidnapping you and sukuna doesn't know if he'll get you back alive. w/c: 2.85k tags/warnings: fluff and angst. reader is kidnapped and gravely injured. depictions of blood. canon typical violence. "good girl". cursing. ft gojo. aged up!yuuji. fem!reader. not canon compliant. no use of y/n. *please mind the warnings for this chapter* a/n: and finally folks, we've reached the climax of the series. there will only be one more official chapter after this one, so i hope this lives up to expectations. this could maybe be read as a stand alone, but it's certainly better when serving as a culmination to the other chapters. i'm a little nervous posting this, so i'd love to hear your thoughts :) series masterlist // masterlist

brontë

sukuna isn't sure at first why the name is familiar, but he soon realizes that a great many of the books on your shelf are authored by women of that name, including jane eyre.

though he finds your copy of wuthering heights, written by an emily brontë, tucked away in the drawer of your nightstand, the headphones you'd asked him grab lying on top of it.

he pulls the book from its spot with care, as the cover is worn and frayed at the edges. flipping through the pages, there are quite a few quotes underlined and countless scribbles in the margins.

while you'd forced him to read jane eyre, he tucks wuthering heights under his arm of his own volition. he isn't sure if it's because you've kept this one separate from the others, or because it might give him an opportunity to know you better, or because he's positive it will make you happy, but he does it all the same.

when he steps back into the living room, he drops your headphones in your lap and takes the seat beside you, wasting no time in beginning the first chapter.

"what've you got there?" you eventually question, even though you know the answer.

he doesn't spare you a glance when he responds, "a book."

"oh, yeah? what kind of book?"

he elects to ignore you, which only serves to encourage your mischievous tone. "i thought romance novels were beneath you and your refined taste."

finally looking at you, he narrows his eyes at your childish taunt. "do you want me to read it or not?"

"of course—"

"then i suggest you be a good girl and behave yourself."

your mouth snaps shut so abruptly that your teeth click as they meet, something sukuna takes note of with a raised brow. you're thankful when he returns to reading rather than saying anything more.

so without any additional interruptions, he delves into the tragic story of heathcliff and catherine. or more precisely, the pain and destruction that follows it.

the further he reads, the better he discerns that while you seem to have a penchant for the brontë sisters, they seem to have a penchant for writing about men that are wicked and callous.

the very notion makes him chuckle.

maybe it explains why he's sitting here with your feet in his lap, while you try and fail (rather cutely) to stifle your giggles at some stupid youtube video.

"what?" you ask, taking out one of your headphones once you notice he's staring at you with a small smile.

"nothing. just enjoying the story."

the way you beam in response makes his mouth go dry.

"hah! i knew it! you're a romantic at heart."

you make a big show of pressing your hands to your chest and swooning.

"settle down there," he chides, his hand patting your thigh. "you're getting ahead of yourself."

two days later, sukuna feels that something isn't quite right. it's barely perceptible, nothing more than a minute shift in the atmosphere, but it grows more palpable as time stretches on.

yuuji's mission takes him farther from home than usual, to a little town about two hours outside of the city.

the curse he exorcises upon his arrival is much weaker than he's grown accustomed to, probably only a third or fourth grade.

yuuji doesn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, or at least, he pretends not to. sukuna thinks that's the problem with optimists— they don't take action quickly enough, too busy wasting their time hoping for the best.

when he returns home late that afternoon only to find your apartment door slightly ajar, his hand hesitates before pushing it open.

he discovers that the living room is littered with residuals, but it's eerie how nothing else is out of place... save for you, who is no where to be found.

in a disbelieving panic, he begins checking all the rooms, not hearing sukuna's frantic voice even though it's coming from inside his own head. "she's not here... idiot, she's not here. we have to go. we have to go now."

he eventually finds a note lying on the coffee table, but even this he hardly processes— something about surrendering himself and sukuna to the higher ups at headquarters in exchange for your life.

"listen to me, brat... you're wasting time... idiot!"

"what?" he barks abruptly.

"she isn't far, a couple blocks to the east at most—"

"it doesn't matter. headquarters is to the west. that's where we need to go."

"have you failed to comprehend a single thing i've said about the higher ups?" sukuna sneers. "they'll kill us, then kill her too. she knows too much about jujutsu society. they won't let her live, and that's if she's not... if she isn't already..."

he can't get the word out.

"no... no, they wouldn't..."

"now is not the time for your blind faith in the integrity of others." sukuna tries again and again to assume control of his vessel, and while the force behind it makes yuuji's head pound, it's no use. "for fuck's sake— please, yuuji!"

it's the first time he's heard the curse occupying his body say his actual name or use the word please, and in a strange way, it seems to ground him to some degree.

itadori yuuji has always been uncannily fast, but as soon as he makes his way out onto the street, it's like his feet aren't even touching the pavement. he appears as a blur to the people he passes by and it happens so briefly that they more than likely disregard it as a trick of the light.

the ruby decorating your neck leads them right to you, a low hum of frequency that only sukuna can hear.

yuuji comes to a stop in front of an old warehouse building. there are several wooden boards nailed across the main entrance, which splinter and fall to the earth under the impact of his impatient fist.

although the people down the hall quiet themselves upon hearing the crash, he can still sense their energy. he just can't seem to pick up on yours.

maybe sukuna is wrong? maybe you're not here after all.

"no," comes sukuna's voice, cold and hard. "she's here."

he makes his way down the stretch of hallway and to an open door where he stops, both of his feet planting firmly on the ground. everything appears to be frozen as he stares at ten sorcerers who quietly stare back.

it's clear they were not expecting yuuji, but he knows the higher ups assigned so many sorcerers just in case he did somehow figure out where they brought you.

he recognizes many of their faces and even knows some of their names, their familiarity no doubt intended to discourage him from engaging them.

after a few moments, yuuji's eyes land on your figure— motionless on the floor.

he has to admit, the higher up have put together a fairly sound plan. it's just that there's one small detail they failed to account for.

a curious and constraining sensation erupts from the center of his chest, and yuuji doesn't quite understand what's happening until he registers he's no longer the one in control of his body.

the king of curses remains completely still as he studies you from afar with a slight tilt of his head, his mind refusing to believe the scene right before his eyes.

when the gravity of the situation finally settles in, a gut churning agony blossoms in his stomach and bleeds into every part of his body. every bone. every pore. every vein.

the entirety of him burns, both inside and out.

the air in the room is heavy, overburdened with hostility and raw power. it makes the sorcerers' knees buckle and they nearly collapse beneath the immense pressure.

as sukuna takes a step toward the nearest person, the edges of his vision turn white.

he moves with deadly precision, at a speed which very few people on earth could even begin to comprehend.

it's a joke how quickly it's all over.

some of them are in pieces. others have exploded into nothingness. a few are burnt to ash.

in his haste, sukuna nearly misses the final sorcerer. he's probably the youngest of them all, cowering in the corner of the room. his eyes are wide with horror and his body shakes with fear.

"p-please, spare m-me. i didn't touch her," he sputters out.

the laugh that follows is utterly humorless. "do you actually believe that makes a difference to me?"

"i told t-them not to hurt her! i swear. that's how i got this." he points to his bottom lip, busted open and swollen. "she even told me she was sorry that i got hurt... that i didn't have to defend her."

this gives sukuna pause and his jaw clenches as he considers what you would tell him right now were you conscious.

so even as every fiber of his being screams at him to end the sorcerer's miserable, pathetic life... he restrains himself and pins him to the wall instead, pressing a forearm to his throat.

"go back to the higher ups. go and tell them that if anyone lays a hand on her ever again, i will ruin them," he spits, venom lacing each word. "i'll slaughter every last one of them. i'll level their homes. i'll take everything from them. tell them this is a promise they shouldn't take lightly."

when sukuna takes a step back, the young sorcerer crumbles to the ground. "i- i- i will."

"then get out of my sight," he growls.

returning his attention to you, his demeanor shifts in every respect.

you're going to be okay. you're going to wake up. he's going to take you home and it will be like none of this ever happened.

but when he falls to your side, his knees meeting the ground so brutally that it cracks beneath his weight, his conviction falters.

your blood is spilt onto the concrete. your skin is cold. he can't tell if you're breathing. he can't feel your heartbeat.

he determines that the gash across your side deserves his attention first and his hands tremble as they move to cover it.

he puts every ounce of power he has into his reverse cursed technique, but your eyes don't flutter and your chest doesn't rise nor fall.

his palms stain crimson, and while blood has never bothered him before, the fact that it's yours forces the bile to rise from his stomach and into his throat.

and his face is wet.

why is his face wet?

why are his lips trembling?

why is his vision blurred?

he wipes at his cheeks, leaving a trail of your blood across his face in the process.

"no," he chokes out. "please, don't do this. you're fine. please, you have to be fine. please."

the king of curses begs, but he has no idea who his desperation is directed toward. maybe it's you. maybe it's the gods. maybe it's some entity that's unknowable to him.

hell, maybe it's just whoever will listen to him. there has to be someone out there, right? something.

unbeknownst to him, and poetic in sorrowful sort of a way, his next pleas are reminiscent of heathcliff's after he learns of catherine's death.

"be with me always"

"stay with me, angel. please don't go."

"take any form"

"hate me for this if you want, for being the reason you're in this mess. you can't hate me anymore than i already hate myself."

"drive me mad"

"i'll read every single stupid romance novel on your bookshelf. i promise i'll play all of your ridiculous card games."

"only do not leave me in this abyss, where i cannot find you!"

"just don't leave me here without you. i don't want to be here without you.

"oh, god! it is unutterable!"

"please," he whimpers.

"i cannot live without my life!"

"you're everything. you are everything. you can't leave me with nothing."

"i cannot live without my soul!"

"i love you," sukuna laments. "i love you."

he doesn't even comprehend the words that have been tumbling past his lips, because they're coming from a part of himself that he long believed to be dead and buried.

it's the part of him that can feel suffering and regret and loss and love.

it's the part of him that you've been painstakingly unearthing whenever you send a smile his way. whenever you curl into his side. whenever you press your lips to his.

and he's so undeserving of it each and every time. he's known that. god, has he known that.

he thinks bitterly of the night you'd walked to the park together hand in hand— when you told him the universe had sent you to knock him down a peg.

turns out you were wrong.

the universe gave you to him, but only so it could take you away too.

and it won't just knock him down a peg. it will fucking destroy him. it will completely and irrevocably destroy him.

this is what he does deserve.

how is it that you can be both his salvation and his undoing?

"i love you," he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper.

it's ironic that the three words he's never once said in his entire life are the only ones he can manage in this moment.

he hears a quiet sigh escape your lips, but he knows that it's just his imagination— nothing more than the universe playing its final sick joke.

the sun is out and its rays are peeking through the window of your bedroom. sukuna thinks it's despicable.

everything should be cold and dark today.

you're lying in bed half dead and the only thing keeping sukuna's sanity intact is the shallow rise and fall of your chest.

he should go to jujutsu headquarters and deliver a slow, painful death to every single person involved in yesterday's events. then he should turn their headquarters to ash and stand there watching until the wind blows every last bit away.

but more than that, he should be by your side, so that's where he's remained.

it's been nearly a day and you still haven't woken up, so he's taken to performing reverse cursed technique on you every few hours.

yuuji had shoko come by last night and she assured him your body just needs time, but sukuna doesn't intend on taking any chances. aside from the brat, there isn't a single sorcerer he trusts.

so naturally when gojo teleports directly in the middle of your living room unannounced, sukuna moves swiftly to his feet and blocks the doorway to your room.

gojo regards him nonchalantly, hiding his surprise that yuuji is not the one to greet him. "what are you doing... out and about?"

"that's none of your concern."

"right. well, i came to check in."

"that's not necessary."

the two men watch one another carefully, before gojo eventually chuckles. "god, you actually care about her. i guess the whole soul thing should have been proof enough, but i couldn't bring myself to really believe it until now."

sukuna doesn't respond, so the other man continues. "you should know that the threat to her has been... dealt with."

"that so?" sukuna asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"mhmmm. word of this spread to the three clans and they agreed civilians have no place in jujutsu politics if it can be helped. not to mention your little... messenger. it all caused quite the ruckus for the higher ups."

"i don't think ruckus is enough to deter them." his tone makes it clear that he feels gojo is wasting his time.

"this isn't the heian era anymore, you know. the higher ups may still be the figureheads of jujutsu society, but they have little say when all three clans concur on a matter." receiving nothing more than a blank stare, he adds, "besides, i'm rather fond of her myself, so i may or may not have made certain threats of my own."

sukuna's eye twitches. "anything else you feel compelled to share before you leave?"

"can i at least see her before i go?" gojo questions, peering over sukuna's shoulder.

"if you do not value your life, i welcome you to try."

a sly grin breaks out on gojo's face.

"eager to make good on your promise of killing me from all those years ago?" he pauses, his hand coming to rest on his chin as if he's pondering something of great importance. "as much as i'd love to see you try, we shouldn't wake our precious sleeping beauty before she's ready, so maybe another time."

with that, he disappears, leaving a very irritated sukuna in his wake.

"our," he repeats under his breath, shaking his head. "that unbearable imbecile."

when he turns on his heel, however, the malicious look is immediately wiped from his face because you're awake.

you're awake and peering at him from behind heavy lids.

"hey," you greet in a small voice.

his eyes grow impossibly soft and he sits on the bed beside you, his hand moving to caress your cheek. your skin is warm again.

"hey, angel."

taglist: @96jnie @ay0nha @sad-darksoul @bbysatoruuu @luciiferian @risuola @lirasmoon @disaster-rose @archivist-ghoul606 @creative1writings @sloppyzengarden @omismicrowave @cecesharktales @tanyeonn @hiqhkey @ruixrei @yellowsubiesdance @thefallofruins @anything-and-everything-here69 @emzalot @elusivemoon @annoyingstrawberryballoon @miabiar @hyeon-yi @iluv-ace @wineyoungie @vduxx @inflatabledinosaurs19 @harrystylesfan2686 @silentmajesticfox @am-the-renegade @certainduckanchor @moons-reblog @scarletrosesposts @th3-audac1ty @darlink-xoxo @ayeputita @nanmiik @namjooningera @hermxssaa @annieleonhardtsbitch @nugget-eater123 @integers @thefunbanshee @thepup356 @browneyedgirl22 @lantsovheiress @luckypeacevoid @kiki17483 @ruttteerr @yourbelloved @heyohalie // users in bold could not be tagged. if i forgot to tag anyone, my apologies!! just give me a heads up.

#m!writes #sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna imagines #sukuna angst #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #jjk angst #ryomen sukuna #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna imagines #ryomen sukuna angst

1K notes · View notes

artbysconnor · 1 month ago

Text

RenDog x Louis Vuitton

18/18 of LifeStyle: A Life Series Fashion Zine!!

Last, but most certainly not least, we have the Red King Mr. RenDiggityDog himself. I knew the instant I saw the reference for this pose that it would be what I use for Ren - the model had the perfect amount of charisma and attitude, and I think it fits him just perfectly. And before anyone asks, no, I didn't draw the pattern on his shirt by hand! I pulled it, and most of the repeating patterns for this whole series, directly from the item or brand site I was working with, to save time and my wrist (and my sanity).

(Click through for my Sappy Conclusions under the cut)

And with that (except for a special little bonus illustration vis a vis the unused Bdubs piece), we are finished with the LifeStyle zine. All 18 of the official pieces have been posted, almost exactly a year after I first saw a red shirt in the window display of an Armani store and started to compile a list of designers and brands on my phone notes app. The pieces are laid out here before you on my socials. A print copy of the zine sits on my bedroom shelf.

I really, truly could not have imagined the amount of love and support this community has poured out for these pieces. I am being 100% honest when I say I thought I'd be posting these into the void. Every single effusive tag, ever positive comment, and every single like means so much to me, from the bottom of my heart, especially for a project that was as passion driven as this one was for me.

This is the first time I can say that I've truly finished a long term project of mine, despite having ups and downs and stops and starts in between, and it feels surreal to be stepping away and calling it complete. But I also know that the community loved it just as much as I did, and it's made me even more passionate about wanting to make and do more moving ahead both for the MCYT and Life Series fandoms and far beyond, into my own original stories and crafts.

So here's to many more, for me and for all of you! Thank you so much for all your amazing support!!!!

#llsmp #trafficblr #third life #rendog #renthedog #louis vuitton #mcyt #illustration #digital art #fashion design #fanart #my art #queen.jpeg #traffic smp #lifestyle zine #im not crying i just put eyedrops in ૮ ⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄ ·̭ o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝ ྀིა⸝#i speak

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telanadasvhenan · 3 months ago

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thinking more about the psychological aspect of solavellan, and before I start, I'd like to stress that this is NOT CRITICAL of it, I actually think it's what makes part of the dynamic interesting. My word isn't the be all and end all, however, this is just my musings on the topic :] Also, REALLY long post! so, more under the read more lol

From Lavellan's point of view, I would personally struggle to see her trusting another lover or close one again for a long time, if ever again. I don't really think people ever talk about the real impact of the things she goes through, or what solas put her through, and the hurt as a result of it. The relationship is never defined between the two of them, it's always spoken about in vague undetermined words from their companions and poetic elvish between the two of them. Are they lovers? companions? partners? it's really up to the player. Leliana says that "you were close", Sera says Lavellan is "in it." Vhenan means home, heart, it's not a word said lightly imo and he tells you he loves her by their second kiss. It's never an official thing, so how secure can Lavellan truly feel?

This could go both ways when it comes to the break up. Crestwood, as a scene, is so interesting to me because the first portion seems like a man brought to his knees by weakness for the woman he loves. The two of them never cease to touch, fingers entwined, shoulders brushing, skin to skin. It's so reminiscent of how Lavellan matches his Hallelujah cadence. They're two parts of a song singing together. It's a gorgeous scene and it's understandable how so many are angry at how it ends because the whiplash between how it starts and what it leaves you with is severe. Imagine this from lavellan's shoes.

You're desperately in love with someone at odds with your people, who is wonderful and enticing and smart. Loving solas feels like loving the whole world, like being free and connected with the stars. But you don't know what this is. And, if you thought you did, how far can you presume? Is Lavellan always on edge, scared to love him deeper and richer than he loves her? or is she in a false sense of security, assuming his affection is forever hers. So when he not only breaks away your faith and trust in your history, plus potentially the vallaslin, she is clearly deeply upset. This isn't a minor fact that simply can be swept aside. The vallaslin is important. And Solas, even with the best intentions, has hurt her. He knows it and there's a reason why he apologises (bc he wimped out on the real truth). How much more does he know about her people that he has refused to tell her or kept from her by omission? Can you imagine the embarrassment, the utter humiliation of that secret? how many memories of them together where she replays his distaste for her people in her mind, knowing that he has access to knowledge that could change her perception of her past? Its ALOT. and thats even before the breakup.

Solas is not kind about the break up. It's rushed (impulsive to me) and doesn't do their connection justice. His composure cracks in places and it's very unlike him. It absolutely blindsides the player, so imagine being in Lavellan's place, AFTER THE VALLASLIN? personally, I wouldn't have been able to function. I half suspect that a sad, calm Lavellan is also in shock or disassociation. Because how else do you cope? The lack of communication between them alone is enough to raise my eyebrows. He promises answers. He confides that she saw through his mask and doesn't tell her what was real, and what was fake. He has given her a kernel truth whilst keeping her in the dark. Everything he told her could be a false, imaginary polite mask or it could be the truth. Where does it end? Where does he begin? Where does she stand?

I don't know if everyone has experienced what it's like to be ghosted or for a friend to simply disappear one day, but it changes you. I say this as someone who has both been avoidant as well as anxious, but you never recover. Someone disappearing like that makes you doubt any reassurance that people won't just evaporate from your life. So when Solas just disappears, the game's single conversation with Leliana feels a little lacking to me. I understand that they can't really dedicate a lot to it, I get that, so I'd like to fill it in. At first, it's search parties. Solas wouldn't just leave her like that. He promised her answers. He started another mural just before they left for corypheus. He didn't intend to just leave, surely.

Days, weeks and months pass. The question is worse than the truth. Is he dead? Did he use them? Was he being truthful when he spoke to her in those ruins, or another polite mask he could hide behind? Is it better if he's dead or better than he didn't deem her worthy enough to even say goodbye? We, as the players, obviously know this isn't true, but she doesn't know that. Does your lavellan assume the worst and be overcome with grief that her one love, her heart, her home, was nothing more than a lie of omission? or is there anger there at his betrayal of her trust once more? I seriously doubt it was easy to forget or dismiss. That kind of disappearance ruins your trust with people. Something. Anything would have been enough.

Again, this is all my opinion on how these emotions would play out and DEFINITELY NOT canon nor do they have to be! But I seriously struggle to see how Lavellan could even come to heal from these wounds within even a two year time skip. By the time of trespasser, almost everyone has left her side. She's almost entirely alone again, save Cullen and Josie (and leliana if she's not divine). And thats okay: they all have rich lives to return to. But that must just reaffirm to her that no one will stay. She is alone. How does she trust again?

And then there is Fen'harel. Lavellan's reaction to fen'harel has always lacked the fear I kind of hoped would be there? I mean this isn't just a minor deity, this IS THE antagonist of her entire faith. I'm assuming that she's lost hope in the gods, even though it's confirmed to her that they're real, but that message has been a part of her since childhood. So learning that he is the dreadwolf, again not from him, but from the fragments of his past must cut her deeply.

Her love was never who he said he was, she knows this, but who is the real man? She's never known him in a context where he can truly show her. Her love is fragmented between each identity he holds. Her trust that he is who he said he is fragments with it. The knowledge that not only has he been watching the inquisition, her, for years without a single hint that he lives or is okay must destroy her. Could you imagine how insignificant you must feel to him? And he essentially affirms to her that yes, in the greater scheme of things, his love and hers are inconsequential. They cannot matter to him because he cannot strive from his path. His indulgence was a mistake. And it's undeniably cruel. I love solas and I cannot argue that he was kind to Lavellan because he wasn't. To me, there is no way to see his actions as kind. Understandable, absolutely and definitely without malicious intent.

Lavellan learns that he loved her just as deeply, if not more. He loved her with all his heart and it did not matter. She changed him and it has only brought him more pain. He loves her too much to even allow her near him, to even give himself that weakness. They are apart from each other in an endless distance, only the two of them in the world. No one else.

Obviously, each Lavellan is different, and I've made a lot of assumptions, but I think it's worth considering. How do you love someone again after all of that? How much can you rebuild your faith after what you have learnt. Lavellan has loved a "god" (I know he's not a god, but for all intents and purposes, he has the power of a god and wears an evanuris crown.) and in turn, a god has loved her. And he left her with one last embrace that will leave its mark on her forever, then he leaves once more. Lavellan is alone.

Each love after is met with suspicion, distrust and comparison. Lavellan is entirely changed. How many pieces of her can be taken away until she is no longer herself? Each person wears a new mask she cannot determine. Where do they begin? Where can she find herself?

How lonely it must be to love someone like Solas and be at the other side of an endless distance.

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