#though. can you imagine 'mind games' if six never lost his memory
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"six minus six" is such an incredibly upsetting episode purely because six doesnt get his memories back at the end. and its like i get why they would want to keep his memories gone kind of but since six's amnesia is rarely brought up again it really. Man.
#i have. opinions#though. can you imagine 'mind games' if six never lost his memory#cuz like. i feel like the memory loss is such a huge catalyst in the whole 'tearing the team apart' thing#even though it happened before the timeskip#bc if six hadnt lost his memory then he and holiday would probably still be together so scarecrow wouldnt be able to use that against them#something to think about i suppos
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How do you imagine Anders first kiss with Karl to be?
I can imagine it a million different ways, dear Anon ♥️ but I did write a little fic for you while on the plane
As Fate Would Have It (1034 words)
Kanders, Anders x others (flings), T, unwanted kisses, wanted kisses, age gap, circle boyfriends, a little bit of canonical sadness
If someone asked, Anders isn’t sure what he would consider as his first kiss.
There’s his actual first kiss — the first time his lips ever met another’s — at the young age of six years old. His village was a small backwater valley in the middle of Ferelden’s countryside, far away from everything and everyone. But by a small mercy from the Maker himself, there were a handful of other children around his age to grow and play with. Until he was old enough to work the field with his father, he spent his days trapezing through the rocks and mud with a group of his peers.
If he recalls correctly, Violeta was her name, a girl with brunette braids just a scant few months older than he. She was a menace — both in personality and in playstyle. She often led the small group of children playing in the pastures, creating make-believe scenarios for all to follow, assigning roles to everyone despite their wishes. Anders never had planned on sharing a kiss with her, especially at six years of age, but she had other plans. He never thought much of it as a child, nor as an adult now that it comes to mind. But he supposes her shoving him up against a tree and planting her lips on his would count as a first kiss, even though they were simply playing house at the time.
Then there’s another instance a little further into his childhood. He was barely fourteen and had only been in Kinloch Hold for just over a year or so. But still, it was long enough for him to catch on to the tower’s shared hobby of incessant but hollow courtship. Love and romance meant nothing behind those walls, save for entertainment in lieu of nothing to do. Apprentices constantly changed the object of their affections by the day, if not by the hour, and the enchanters were no better than the teens they often condemned. Flirting, touching, kissing — it was all just part of the game they played to distract themselves from the cruel reality in which they lived. It was a dance delicately played among the captured, though the real thing was far beyond their reach.
Perhaps his first kiss — that is, the first kiss he wanted — would be the one with Jamil, a fiery elemental apprentice just one year older than him. They had been eyeing each other all throughout the week, electricity building between them with heated stares and subtle hints peppered into their very public conversations. The dance they played was fun while it lasted, teasing each other until they were ready to snap beneath the tension of craving and youthful seduction. It didn’t take long for them to wind up in a broom closet together, hands searching, clutching, groping each other without going much further in risk of being caught. Not that they had much to worry about, seeing as they quickly lost interest in each other once they had satisfied the novelty.
Either situation might count as his first kiss, but in his heart, Anders knows the answer.
The first kiss he wanted, the first kiss that mattered, was his first kiss with Karl Thekla — the man who changed everything. Unlike the other memories shrouded in a hazy fog of time, he can remember it like it was yesterday, down to the smallest detail. The familiar musty scent of thousands of yellowing parchment pages filling the eastern library, how the cold of the stone flooring seeped through the soles of his thin leather slippers, the way the scant rays of the dwindling sun filtered through the high narrow windows and caught on the dust floating in the stale air like a slow flurry of snow.
[read the rest on AO3]
#anders#anders*#karl thekla#kanders#karl x anders#anders x karl#dragon age#dragon age ii#dragon age 2#da2#da2fic#sbh#sbh writes#first kiss#sbh ask#Anonymous
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"Victory" (Spencer Reid/ Reader)
Requested: Yes
Summary: Spencer's daughter hates her father's girlfriend. But when he is in prison, life pushes them to finally get along.
Warning: Cursing, a little angst, a mean teenager, and fluff.
Word count: 5,4K
A/N: Hello, pretty people! How are you? I've missed you! Life has been a little messy and filled with angst, so writing hasn't come easy in the lastest weeks. Hope you like this story, and I hope I can bring you a new one soon 😉
Masterlist
»»————- ————-««
Spencer's daughter hated her dad's new girlfriend. And she wasn't subtle about it. She hated that her father was now dating, 'cos she didn't want to share his love. So now she didn't even want to be around him anymore 'cos he was so happy, it was annoying.
It wasn't that she hated her father, 'cos she loved him. But she was never going to face the fact she was jealous. She didn't want to share Spencer with anyone because he was all the family she knew, and they were a team.
Victoria Reid was twelve years old. She had grown up alone with her dad 'cos her mother had ditched the two of them soon after she was born. Spencer had tried to explain to his daughter her mom had left 'cos she wasn't ready to deal with the responsibility of being a mother, which was true. He, on the other hand, was happy to know he was going to be a father, and he repeated over and over again she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
That was true.
When Spencer and his ex found out they were going to be parents, he was ecstatic. He couldn't wait to hold his baby in his arms and watch them grow. He didn't know his girlfriend had other plans, though, and soon after Victoria was born, she had left the two of them and never looked back.
Spencer wasn't going to lose the chance of being a dad. Even when he knew he was too young, Reid was ready to raise that baby on his own and give her all the love he had.
That's why he and Victoria were so close. Spencer was the only parent she had ever had. He was her world. And though Spencer was only 24 when Tori was born, he had given her his best.
Tori was the BAU's baby girl. Everybody in the team was a part of her life because she had grown up with them. Penelope was her best friend and godmother. Victoria would spend a lot of time with her while her dad was away on a case. Derek was her cool uncle. He helped her train to get into the basketball team and taught her how to dance. JJ was the closest to a mother figure in her life. Tori would spend time with her after school, playing with Henry. Spencer always said JJ was like a sister for him, and that's why they were all like family. Tori actually called Henry and Michel her cousins.
Emily was like her best friend. They could talk about anything, and at least twice a month, they would go out together shopping, just the two of them. Spencer always respected his daughter's relationship with his friend 'cos they were their little extended family. Tori called Rossi "Nono." He had taught her himself, and she loved going to his mansion, 'cos he always had new video games to play with her.
But then came (Y/N). She had joined the team when Victoria was only six years old, and for the first five years, they got along just fine. (Y/N) would come along shopping with her and Emily, sometimes she took Tori out for some pastries, and talked about bands, boys. Victoria loved her.
That until the incident.
She hated (Y/N) after the incident.
Victoria refused to talk to her after THE INCIDENT.
It was a warm spring afternoon, Spencer and (Y/N) had the afternoon off, and they were at his apartment... heavily making out on the couch. That's why they lost track of time.
(Y/N) and Spencer had started dating a few months before. They had been in love with each other for years. Still, neither of them had acted on it until Rossi's birthday party, when they had a little too many drinks and finally confessed their feelings. They wanted to take things slow, but when you make out in front of the whole team, it might be a little harder imagined.
But they had decided to wait for the right time to tell Victoria. But, unfortunately, the right time didn't come soon enough.
- "Dad!! I'm home!!"- Victoria opened the front door and froze in shock at the scene going on in front of her. The twelve-year-old had asked her best friend's mother to drop her home earlier when Penelope told her Spencer had already gone home. In Garcia's defense, she had no idea what was going on in Reid's residence, and if she had known, she would have never let Victoria know her dad was home.
(Y/N) widened her eyes and quickly grabbed a pillow to cover herself. She was shirtless, sitting on Spencer's lap. She still had her bra on (thank god), but anyone could tell that scene was leading to the bedroom in a few seconds.
- "Shit!"- Spencer whispered and closed his eyes as he realized what was going on. (Y/N) held her breath as she stared into the young teen's eyes. Victoria didn't know what to do or what to say, so she simply ran to her room and slammed the door.
- "Ok... so I think Tori knows about us"- (Y/N) tried to ease the mood and smiled at her boyfriend as she put on her shirt. But Spencer sighed and covered his face with both hands- "Oh, come on. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. Let me talk to her."
- "No, (Y/N), let me talk to her first."- Spencer stood up and kissed (Y/N) 's nose- "I know she is mad, and I should be the one dealing with her anger."
Reid knew his daughter well enough to anticipate her behavior. People had often told him he could be a little passive-aggressive when he was upset. And his daughter was just like him.
- "Victoria, open the door!"- he said and waited a few seconds after knocking.
- "Go away!"- the teenager yelled, laying on her bed. She felt betrayed and confused. But most of all, she felt angry that her father had decided to have a girlfriend. He had no right to do such a thing. He had to take care of her and her grandma. No one else.
- "Victoria, we need to talk about this!"
- "You seemed too busy with your girlfriend to talk to me, dad. So go away!"
- "Victoria Marie!"- Spencer knocked on the door but got no answer from his daughter. (Y/N) heard it all from the couch and tried to think of a way to fix things with the young girl.
Sadly, it wasn't going to be easy, and in the months that followed, everything was far from being normal again.
- "I hate her!"- Victoria huffed and left her book aside. Spencer was trying to explain to her why (Y/N) would stay with her and Diana while he took a short work trip for the weekend. But the girl didn't want to hear a word about it.
- "You used to get along with her just fine until we started dating."- Spencer tried to dialogue with his daughter. Still, it was honestly getting harder and harder each time they touched the subject.
- "Used to. You just said it. I have the right to change my mind about people. Why can't I stay with auntie Penelope for the weekend?"
- "Because I want you to make an effort and try to get along with (Y/N) again. Victoria, we've been through this before. I love you, and that's not going to change just because I am dating (Y/N)."
- "This is so unfair! I hate you!!"
Spence tried to stay calm, but after over four-month having the same argument almost every day, he was losing it. Victoria stormed out and slammed her bedroom door behind her back. Maybe it was better not to push it, Spencer thought, defeated, and called Penelope to ask her if his daughter could spend the weekend with her, 'cos he had to travel. Maybe Victoria and (Y/N) weren't going to get along if he forced them to spend time together.
Everyone had already tried to talk to her about what was going on: JJ, Emily, Penelope. But Victoria wasn't ready to give in. She wanted to hate (Y/N), and nothing was going to change that. Or so she thought.
The day Penelope showed up in Victoria's school and announced her something had happened to her dad was engraved in the girl's memory forever as the worst day of her life. Her father had been arrested in Mexico, but Garcia had assured her, the whole team was working to bring him home safe. Meanwhile, she would stay with her in her apartment (she was already there anyway), and Diana would stay home with her nurse.
Victoria's heart was broken. She was basically alone in the whole world. Her father was her anchor. Her protector. Her superhero. Her best friend. And now, all of a sudden, he was gone, and though everybody told her it was going to be ok, she knew it wasn't.
- "Hey,"- (Y/N) walked into Penelope's office and found Victoria doing her homework- "Pen told me you were here, and I thought maybe you'd like one of these."
The young SSA said and handed the girl a box of fresh chocolate frosted with sprinkled donuts and a strawberry milkshake. Her favorites.
But Victoria didn't reply. Instead, she looked at (Y/N) right in the eyes, not moving a muscle, and then returned to her homework.
It had been two weeks since Spencer had been accused of murder, and he had been transferred to Virginia. But the team was far from solving the case.
- "Ok, Tori, please stop this. I know you don't like me dating your dad, but this is not the right time to fight. I know..."- (Y/N) made a short pause and took a deep breath before resuming her idea- "I know how you feel."
- "No. You don't."- Victoria Reid's voice was loud and clear, like thunder, hitting earth with anger. So clear, in fact, (Y/N) widened her eyes when she heard her.
- "You have no idea how I feel. Your dad ain't in jail accused of killing some woman in Mexico. You have no right to tell me that!"
- "My boyfriend and best friend in the whole world is in jail right now, and it doesn't matter if I work myself to death 18 hours every single fucking day; I still can't find the way to help him. I feel lost and alone, and most of all, scared, 'cos I've come to realize I have no idea how to live without him anymore. I'm guessing that's very close to what you feel."
(Y/N) poured her heart with complete honesty to her boyfriend's daughter, fighting the tears back, though you could feel the desperation in her voice. She didn't know if it would be of any use, but she had to take that from her chest. She missed Spencer so much she felt she was going insane. She had no idea what to do.
Victoria stared at her, furrowing her eyes and pouting. She didn't want to cry in front of (Y/N) 'cos she didn't want her trying to console her.
- "Just because you are dating him doesn't mean you have to take care of me. I can take care of myself."- Tori said and looked at the donut. She was hungry, they looked delicious, but the teenager didn't want to accept any gift coming from (Y/N).
- "I am not here because you are my boyfriend's daughter. I thought you were a cool kid way before I fell in love with him."- (Y/N) tried to calm herself down and sat across the table from Victoria- "And I am not trying to steal him from you. I just wanna... make him happy."
- "We were happy,"- the teenager's comeback was like a slap on (Y/N) 's face, but she did her best not to take it personally. She knew it was useless fighting with a teenager.
- "I have a visit scheduled for tomorrow. If you'd like, we could go together."
Tori held her breath. She hadn't seen her father since he left for Mexico. Of course, Victoria wanted to see him and hug him. It was all she wanted in the whole world. But... she didn't want to be friendly with (Y/N).
- "If I go... it doesn't mean I like you."- the young girl whispered.
- "I know"- (Y/N) nodded, feeling already triumphant.
- "And it doesn't mean I'm ok with you dating him."
- "I understand. I just know you miss him, Tori. I really know how you feel, and I'm gonna help you whenever I get a chance."- Victoria didn't answer; she just sighed and grabbed a donut. (Y/N) tried not to smile, feeling she had a small victory.
Spencer couldn't believe it when he saw his little girl waiting for him sitting next to (Y/N) instead of his lawyer in the small grey room. Victoria stood up and ran to him the second the door opened and wrapped her arms around her father as tight as possible.
(Y/N) looked at the guards, thankful neither of them had tried to stop the teenager.
Spencer kissed his daughter's cheek a few times and whispered how sorry he was to put her under those circumstances. He didn't know what to do or what to say. He was speechless. A part of him hated the idea of his daughter visiting him in jail, but he also missed her too much to argue with (Y/N) for bringing her over.
- "I'll go fill a few forms. Be right back"- (Y/N) whispered and saw Spencer's warm smile as he mouthed "Thank you," still hugging his daughter. She whispered, "I love you," and walked outside the room. She knew Victoria would appreciate a few minutes alone with her father, and she didn't want to take that away from them. She really wanted to make Spencer and Tori happy, and spending time together was what they needed.
- "I know this is hard, peanut, but we'll get through it. I'll be out in a few weeks. I promise"- Spencer held his daughter's hands as they sat across the table.
- "I miss you"- her voice was a soft whisper, as she kept trying not to cry anymore. She didn't want to make him feel guilty, sad, or anxious.
- "Me too. How are you? How is living with aunt Penelope going?"
- "Ok... we watch a lot of movies."
- "And school?"- Tori shrugged.
- "Ok, I guess."
- "Victoria..."
- "I got a C on my history paper."
- "Baby..."
- "I know, I know, I should have tried harder, but I really didn't want to do it."
Spencer was torn between lecturing his daughter for getting a bad grade and actually telling her it was ok, 'cos they were going through a rough patch. It was obvious she might get bad grades, all things considered.
- "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you"- it was all Spencer managed to whisper.
- "Don't say that, dad. I'm sorry I slacked off."
- "You know, you could ask (Y/N) for help,"- Spencer suggested, but Tori just rolled her eyes, annoyed- "She has a master in the subject..."
- "Dad, please don't force me to talk to her."
- "I'm just saying... you don't have to be her best friend, just ask for help when needed, especially when it comes to school. Besides, it's clear she isn't a bad person if she brought you here today."
- "She just wants to win me over."- Tori mumbled and crossed her arms on her chest. But she knew her dad was right in one thing: (Y/N) had done a pretty good thing taking her to see her dad and letting them spend time together on their own.
Victoria thought she was losing her mind after three months had passed and her father was still in jail. It didn't matter that (Y/N) took her every Saturday morning to visit, played her favorite music, and bought her all the pastries she loved. She needed to live with her father again and do all the small things they loved: making breakfast together, playing scrabble, taking long walks in the park, eating ice cream. Tori even missed her father's annoying habits. She missed his rambling and how he always had an answer for everything, even for the things she didn't want to talk about with him.
Spencer was an amazing father, no questions asked, and Victoria Reid knew she couldn't ask for a better dad than him. She just wanted him back.
But things weren't going to improve soon.
When the team found out Diana Reid had been kidnapped, (Y/N) had to take a minute and lock herself in the bathroom to cry her heart out. She felt bad things were never going to cease, and she didn't want to tell Victoria. The girl had already been through so much, adding the abduction of her grandmother wasn't fair. Tori was just twelve. She shouldn't be going through all that.
- "Victoria?"
Prentiss decided she was going to be the one to tell the girl what was going on, and (Y/N) offered herself to look for her. She was in Rossi's office, reading a book curled on his comfy couch. That poor kid almost lived at the BAU by then.
- "My homework is done."- she replied, not taking her eyes from the page she was reading.
- "That's good. And what are you reading?"- Tori sighed and showed her the cover- "Something Wicked this way comes," I love that book"- (Y/N) smiled and took a look around.
- "Figured my father forced you to read it."
- "Actually, I read it when I was ten, and it's one of my favorite books."- (Y/N) looked at Victoria, but the teenager kept pretending to read, ignoring her- "Emily needs to talk to you."
- "And why are you here? Why didn't aunt Emily come? Are you her secretary?"- there was something about Victoria's attitude that reminded (Y/N) of Reid.
- "I wanted to see you, see how you were doing, and take you to the conference room"- Tori sighed and stood up. She hoped Emily had good news about her father, 'cos she was honestly going insane.
But of course, Prentiss didn't have any good news.
- "I'm sorry, Tori, but... you are going to have to stay here tonight"- the girl frowned, confused, and looked at the whole team around her. Everybody looked like they hadn't slept in days. Which, by the way, was very accurate.
- "Why?"
- "'Cos we are going to have to..."- Emily paused and held her breath, staring at her niece's eyes.- "I'm sorry, Tori, but this is the truth: the woman who framed your father has kidnapped Diana, and I'm scared she might try to get you too. So until we catch her, the safest place to be is here, at the BAU. With us."
Tori gasped and covered her mouth with both hands as tears filled her eyes in a second.
- "Nana? Is she ok?"
- "We don't know yet, but we are working to bring her home safe as soon as possible"- JJ caressed Tori's arm and tried to hold her, but she pushed her away mad frowned.
- "You keep saying that, you keep telling me you are working to bring my family home safe, but so far, you haven't done anything!! I am still alone! Dad is in jail, and everybody knows he is innocent! And now nana is gone too!!"
- "Baby, we know it is hard, but..."- Emily wanted to explain to Victoria everything was more complex than they had expected, but the girl covered her ears and shook her head, yelling as she stormed out of the room
- "I don't wanna hear you!! I want my dad!!"
It was painful to hear those things, 'cos the team was doing the best they could for Reid and his family, but they could understand the frustration and, most of all, the fear that little girl felt.
- "I'll talk to her,"- (Y/N) said and turned to Emily- "You guys continue what you were doing. I'll try to calm her down."
- "Are you sure you wanna go?"- Emily asked and cut (Y/N) a short smile.
- "Yeah, for once, she is mad at all of us, not just me."
The young SSA walked to Garcias's office, where Tori was hidden underneath a desk, crying.
- "Hey."
- "Leave me alone."
- "I know I'm the last person you wanna be with right now, and I am sorry I can't do anything to make you feel better. I can only promise you this: we are doing all we can to bring your dad and your grandmother back home safe." - (Y/N) whispered as she walked slowly towards the girl, who sobbed, whipping off the tears from her eyes.
- "Just leave me alone. I want to be alone,"- Tori mumbled and wrapped her arms around herself, sobbing.
- "I'm not gonna leave you alone, Tori. You are not alone here with us."
- "I am alone!! I want my daddy!! I need my daddy!!"- the girl continued crying her eyes out, hidden underneath the desk. (Y/N) kneeled next to her and sat on the floor.
- "Come here"- it was a bold move, 'cos (Y/N) knew the girl was going to reject her, but she didn't care. She couldn't deal with her sadness, and it scared her to think how bad the child was feeling. So, (Y/N) opened her arms and moved the teen closer to her.
Surprisingly, the girl didn't reject her. Instead, she cried against the fabric of (Y/N) 's sweater and sobbed, shaking, as (Y/N) caressed her hair carefully.
- "I swear, we are not gonna rest until he is free and until Diana is home."
- "I want my family back,"- Victoria mumbled and sighed.
- "You'll get it. I swear, I'll do everything I can to bring them back to you."
That was the first time since (Y/N) started dating Spencer that Victoria let her close. In the middle of the mess they were all lost into, it felt like a little break of peace. Another small victory for the young woman.
(Y/N) didn't mind spending the whole night awake going through an endless pile of files if it meant there was a chance to bring Spencer back home. Tori stayed in Rossi's office, where she made something that looked pretty much like a fort on the couch, with blankets and pillows, to hide from the rest of the world.
It was heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time, looking at the girl hidden there, trying to read, trying to draw, trying to do anything to take her mind from reality. Penelope brought her something to eat, but she rejected it, saying she wasn't hungry. Emily and JJ had tried to talk to her, but Tori kindly said she wanted to be alone. Even Morgan had called her and announced to her he was taking a plane from Chicago to help the team looking for Diana.
None of that cheered Victoria up.
- "I bought you this,"
Around ten, (Y/N) opened Rossi's door and walked in, holding a box of frosted chocolate donuts with sprinkles.
- "They always cheer your dad up, so I'm counting they will do the trick with you too"- the young woman tried to joke but found Victoria crying quietly insider her fort.
- "Please, just leave me alone,"- she whispered and hid her face with both her hands. (Y/N) didn't pay attention and sat with her inside the fort.
- "Not a chance."
- "I really don't wanna do this now, just leave me alone,"- the girl sighed, defeated, and continued crying.
- "Come here, I told you, you are not alone."
- "I am alone, (Y/N)! My dad is in jail, my grandma is kidnapped, and my mother left me 'cos she didn't love me!"
- "No, baby, don't say that"- (Y/N) wrapped her arms around Tori and kissed the top of her head.
- "I know my mom didn't want to have me, and maybe she was right... maybe I am cursed, and all this is my fault."
- "Victoria Marie Reid, you are talking senseless" (Y/N) held the girl's shoulder and looked into her eyes.
- "You are an adorable young girl who deserves the best in the world. Why did this happen? I don't know, bad shit happens in life, and we must try to learn something from it. That's it. There's no reason or cause. Shit happens, baby, but we must raise stronger than before. You are an incredible young girl, and I know your dad is proud of you. I am proud of you, 'cos you've been so courageous and brave."
- "You are just saying that 'cos you are with my dad."
- "No. I would say that even if I hated your dad. You know why? 'Cos I am not lying, you are awesome, and I love you, get that into your head. And you are not alone, 'cos I am here, see?"- (Y/N) ran her thumb on Tori's cheek, whipping off a few of her tears- "I'm here even when you don't want me to be, so I don't know if you can tell, but you are doomed, you can't get rid of me now. I'm like a disease, but a good one... I don' know if there's a good disease. I'm sure your dad would have the answer for my random comment right now."
Both Victoria and (Y/N) chuckled at the same time, and the girl nodded.
- "He definitely would..."
- "He would also lecture me why I shouldn't give you sugar after dinner, but he is not here, and I am not telling him, so please don't tell him 'cos he is going to be mad at me... and at you."- (Y/N) handed Tori the box of donuts, and the girl smiled.
- "I won't tell him."
- "Great, we have our own little sugary secret. Eat all the donuts you want; I'm going to be with the team in the conference room. Emily has a meeting early morning with the judge."- (Y/N) kissed the top of Vitoria's head and stood up.
- "If you need anything, I'm across the hall."- the SSA said, and the girl nodded, chewing a donut.
- "Thank you, (Y/N)"
By the next day, the miracle had happened. Victoria couldn't stop crying when (Y/N) announced she was taking Spencer back home. Tori stood in front of his father's girlfriend and felt how the tears filled her eyes in less than a minute. Happy tears, for once.
(Y/N) smiled at her, glad to know the young girl was going to have her life back. It surprised her when Tori hugged her, wrapping her arms around her tight. (Y/N) stayed still for an instant, trying to understand what was happening. She hugged Victoria and kissed the top of her head. The child was crying, and suddenly, so was she. The nightmare was over. At least a part of it. They still needed to find Diana. But the fact they were going to have Reid back was already giving everybody the peace of mind they needed to finish the task.
(Y/N) held Spencer's hand tight all the way from the prison to the BAU. He kept his eyes locked on their hands, fingers tangled together. He couldn't believe it was actually happening. He couldn't believe he was a free man.
- "How's Tori?"- he whispered and turned to his girlfriend. Penelope and Luke were in the car with them, but somehow, Spencer could only register the presence of his girlfriend. Not because he didn't care about his friends, but because he could only take just a small amount of information at the time. It was all too much for him at that moment.
- "Good. She has been incredibly strong."
- "Did you tell her about mom?"- Spencer was afraid to ask but needed to know what was going on with his daughter. (Y/N) nodded and sighed.
- "We decided it was better if she knew what was happening, we had to keep her at the BAU, and she was going to get suspicious she couldn't go to Penelope's... sorry."
- "Don't be. You did what was best for her."- Spencer turned to his girlfriend and smiled at her for a second. It was a short, sweet smile. Almost shy. But it was enough to warm her heart and wake the butterflies in her stomach. She was so in love with Spencer Reid, everything he did fluster her.
Victoria thought her heart was about to burst as he waited for her father to arrive. Spencer looked at (Y/N) one last time, and she squeezed his hand kindly, smiling when the elevator door opened, and all he heard was:
- "Daddy!!"- Tori yelled and ran to hug Spencer as soon as she saw him. He couldn't even step out of the elevator when his daughter nearly tackled him, wrapping her arms around him tight.
- "My baby!"- he whispered and spun her in the air a few times- "Are you ok?"- he held her face with both hands and took a good look at her. She was crying but smiling as she nodded.
- "I'm so happy to see you, dad."
- "I missed you so, so much"- Spencer kissed the top of her head and sighed. (Y/N) smiled, and whipped off the tears from her eyes as she stared at the scene. Garcia and Luke stood next to her, enjoying a brief moment of happiness and peace.
- "Me more,"- Victoria whispered and hugged Spencer again- "I swear I'm never going to fight with you again."
- "I'm taking a mental note of that,"- he answered and felt her body shaking as she giggled. Spencer hadn't heard his daughter laugh, giggle, or even watched her smile in the three months he had spent away from her. And that sound was sweet and warm, like a balm to his soul.
- "I'm sorry, Spencer... but, we have to..."- Emily interrupted the moment and smiled at her friend. They all knew they still had to do one more thing before celebrating. They had to take Diana Reid back home safe and sound. Victoria let her father go and smiled at him.
- "I love you, dad."
- "I love you too, princess."
And as the team walked to the conference room to brief Spencer about the case and update him with the latest information, (Y/N) felt someone hold her hand.
- "Thank you,"- Victoria whispered and cut her a smile that warmed her heart.
- "Come here,"- she answered and turned around to wrap her arms around her for a second. Spencer looked at them, and for once, he didn't know what to say. Victoria and (Y/N) just stood in the middle of the hall, hugged for a few minutes, and Reid couldn't believe it. It was so heartwarming and emotional; he really didn't know how to react.
- "Come on, dad!! You are going to miss the movie!"- Victoria yelled and set the popcorn on the coffee table.
- "You can pause it!"- Spencer yelled from his desk, where he was finishing writing a letter for his mother.
- "Or you can hurry!"- Tori answered and sat on the couch.
- "Here's your tea, your highness"- (Y/N) walked to the girl holding a tray filled with cups and more snacks- "Come on, honey! We are not waiting for you!"
Three months after prison and life had never been so good for Spencer, Victoria, and (Y/N).
- "I had never seen you so eager to watch a Marvel movie, since when are you two fans of Thor?"- Spencer walked to the living room, hearing his girlfriend and daughter laugh.
- "Always, huge fan."- (Y/N) smiled and tapped on the couch. Reid sat between his two women and sighed.
- "I can smell the sarcasm in the air."
- "No, honey. We love Thor, right Tori?"
- "Yes! Big fans, huge, the biggest fans"- Spencer looked at his daughter and raised an eyebrow.
- "Ok, I'll buy it. Let's watch the movie."
(Y/N) and Tori giggled at the very same moments like they were sharing a secret joke Spencer couldn't understand, but he didn't really matter. He was happy, his heart was content, and there was nothing more perfect that minute, 'cos his family was all on the same couch, watching a movie, enjoying an afternoon together. Like he had always dreamt of.
----
Spencer taglist
@calm-and-doctor
General Taglist
@all-tings-diego @spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy
#Spencer Reid#Criminal Minds#Matthew gray Gubler#Spencer reid x reader#babymetaldoll writes#criminal minds rewrite#fluff#angst#spencer reid x you#spencer reid smut#spencer reid angst
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Are you in town? - Matthew Tkachuk (part 1)
part two here
part three here
word count: 1860 words
TW: language, angst (?)
let me know if you want part two, I’m somehow still not sure
...
It was so hot that day. The movers were already gone, the place feeling empty without all the furniture. In a few hours, you'd be long gone, flying far away from Chesterfield.
Some small part of you felt sorry for selling your parents' house - the house you spent your whole childhood living in. But they moved out a few years ago and told you many times they didn't mind at all selling it.
Wiping the sweat off of your eyebrows you made your way through the blooming garden, trying to memorize every little detail. You remembered climbing this tree, you remembered the hole in the fence you made so the neighbour's dog could come play with you, you remembered the time capsule you and Matt buried here when you were fifteen.
Until now, you completely forgot about that. Even though you two didn't talk after he got drafted, it'd be a good idea to meet again since you might never see him again. You might be moving to Calgary but that city was so big it'd be a miracle to meet Matthew somewhere.
So you scrolled through your phone, praying he didn't change his number after all those years as you dialed it.
The phone rang twice before someone picked it up.
"Yes?"
Matthew's voice was so different since the last time you talked.
"Hey Matt, this is Y/N, I'm moving out today and I thought we could dig up the time capsule we buried at my place as kids before I leave. Are you in town?" It was off-season so you might get lucky.
"You are moving out already? But yeah, I can meet you in an hour if you have the time."
"Yes, I'll still be here, don't worry."
"Okay..." There was a moment of awkward silence, neither of you knew how to break it. Was it a bad idea? Of course you wouldn't be as good friends as you once were. But you didn't know it would be this... weird. He didn't say goodbye back when he left to Calgary and didn't answer to any of your calls or messages. What were you thinking? That he wanted to see you?
"So, where are you moving to?" Matt finally continued, making the conversation more bareable.
"Calgary, they offered me an amazing job there."
"Really? I've been there for a few years."
"I heard." Not from you, was what you didn't say. It seemed like he'd heard it nonetheless.
Silence. You hated how distant you've grown - once, a long time ago, you were best friends. You went together to kindergarden and since then you've been the best of best friends. But even after all you went through, you didn't know what to say.
"Nevermind, I have to get going. I'll be at your place at three, okay?"
"Okay. I'll meet you there."
As you hung up, sadness enveloped you. Maybe you shouldn't have called. Maybe it'd be better to never meet Matt again, to remember only the good old times.
But he might be already on his way and you wanted to say a proper goodbye before going far, far away.
You loved him once, you recalled. It broke your heart when he left without looking back.
It irritated you that you couldn't do the same as easily.
...
"Y/N?" a now familiar voice called, the sound of closing car doors echoing through the silent street.
Matt looked same as he did four years ago and still totally different. It was like staring at a stranger you could swear you've already seen before. The curly, those pretty grey-blue eyes and the crooked smile you remembered and thought about too often. He got taller and more mascular over the time he played hockey professionally.
"Hey," you said nervously, tucking your slightly trembling hands into the pockets of your shorts.
Again, that uncomfortable silence took place.
"How long is it?" Since you've last seen each other. Since he'd ignored your calls and messages. Since he'd left you crying as he left this town - as he left you.
"Five years," you said.
Regret flashed in those pretty eyes as he took you in. Did you look to him the same as you did the last time he saw you?
"I'm sorry I didn't call." That was it? After five fucking years of silence, this was his apology for everything. This was a mistake. You didn't think it through when you called him today. Just now you started remembering all the things he's done to you.
"That doesn't make it hurt less, does it?" You whipped around, going to the line of fruit trees where you left the two shovels you borrowed from the neighbour.
Matt's hand slightly gripped your elbow, stopping you in your tracks.
"I know that I made a bunch of wrong decisions before I left."
"I've been trying for 6 months to reach you before giving up completely. And you? You've been living the best version of your life anyone could ever imagine."
"That's not true and you know it." Matthew said and you wanted to leave right then, forget this stupid meeting.
"I do not." you hissed, trying to calm down your rising temper.
Matt sighed, not wanting to argue over this. So he made his way to the tree line, picked one shovel from the ground and started digging where he remembered the time capsule was.
You didn't help him dig it up. You were too lost in memories, clinging to the past as you thought of younger version of Matt.
The clang of metal on metal attracted your attention back to him. He grunted as he pulled up the metal box and laid it on the grass.
You ducked low next to him, dusting off the dirt of the box. It was an old, weirdly dented thing. Your eyes laid on the lock and you nearly sighed in annoyance just when Matt grabbed at his necklace, the key dangling from it. When you two buried the capsule, each of you got a key made for it. You had yours somewhere in the boxes that had already been shipped to your new apartment and Matt's... he didn't forget. He kept it through the years, guarding it and not losing it as you expected.
You didn't say anything, just patiently waited for him to open the box.
There was a letter inside, along with a bunch of things you thought of as long forgotten. Your bracelets of friendship, the colors faded already; a puck with which you and Matthew played your first hockey game together when you were six; so many polaroid photos with your faces on them; USB with a playlist you two always danced to.
Your eyes watered - how were you supposed to say goodbye to all of this?
Silently, you looked over all of the photos - you and Matt in the rink with small hockey sticks and skates, you and Matt sticking out your tongues colored blue with slushies, you and Matt, you and Matt, you and Matt...
Then Matthew's hand found yours, your fingers automatically intertwining with his. You started crying, first silently but then the sobs shook with your whole body.
"Come here," he murmured, hugging you. His body was so soft and warm, as if begging you to lean into his touch.
"How- how could you leave this all behind?" you mumbled between the sobs.
"It's not leaving if you don't say goodbye." Matt said, his fingers playing with yours.
"Then you are a fucking coward, Matthew."
Silence. He didn't argue with you on that, so you must have been right.
You stopped crying after a while, checking your watch while wiping your nose.
Shit. It was so late already - you had to call an uber to get you to the airport in the next hour or you'd be super late.
"I'll have to go," you said quietly, but Matt interrupted you.
"You are right," he tucked on the edge of his shirt, clearly nervous. He was nervous. "I was a coward. I thought that if I didn't say goodbye to you as I left, it'd hurt less. I was wrong and I was a fucking coward for not picking up your calls or replying to your messages because it would make it so real - that I was leaving and probably never coming back. But I want to make it all right again, I want to be a part of your life - if you will let me."
You thought about his offer and still, you couldn't answer. You weren't sure about letting him into your heart just for him to storm out again without a goodbye, leaving you behind, broken.
"Can I at least take you to the airport?" To that, you nodded, picking up the time capsule, putting all the items back in. Then you gave back the lent shovels to your neighbour and with a last glance at your house, you got into Matt's car.
...
On the way to the airport Matt played the playlist from the USB that was in the time capsule and the nostalgy hit you hard.
You remembered the lyrics, the melody; you remembered everything.
The drive was too short and you started panicking as the engine stopped.
Matthew helped you with your suitcase and went inside with you. The two of you stopped at the first gate.
"Here," he said, giving you a piece of paper. "It's my adress. Hopefully, you won't live so far away, so we could meet there if you wanted to."
You tucked it in your pocket without a word.
"Also, take this. I wrote it in ninth grade so don't think much of it. But I want you to read it, Y/N."
It was the letter from the time capsule, with your name on the blank envelope.
"I will." you promised.
The silence that followed wasn't awkward this time.
"I'll let you know my decision about what you said earlier. I just... I need some time."
Matt noded, giving you the space you so desperately needed.
"So, until we meet again - goodbye, Y/N."
"Goodbye, Matt."
...
The plane took off and you finally had the time to read the letter he gave you.
You immediately recognised his scrambled handwriting and you smiled at how messy it was before you started reading.
Dear Y/N,
I'm writing this in case I leave. Dad has been telling me for some time already that if I'll get drafted, I'll have to leave. He also said that if I'll be smart, I will never look back at my past.
I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future.
He said I'll meet a lot of girls but I know that none of them is going to be like you.
So, I promise you, I will never say goodbye to you.
I love you,
Matt
With trembling fingers, you pulled out your phone, the tears already staining the screen.
That's why he never said goodbye. Because of this stupid letter and his stupid promise.
The phone rang once before he picked it up.
"Y/N? What is it?"
A ragged breath escaped you and you laughed and cried at the same time.
"I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future."
"Oh, that was cheesy, wasn't it-"
"No, you dumbass. That's my answer."
#nhl fanfiction#nhl fic#nhl imagines#nhl imagine#nhl x reader#nhl story#Hockey Fanfiction#hockey fic#hockey imagines#hockey#hockey fanfiction#hockey imagine#matt tkachuk#calgary flames#nhl blurb#nhl one shot#matthew tkachuk imagine#matthew tkachuk#matty tkachuk#matthew tkachuk oneshot
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The One Who Runs Away, The One Who Runs Back (Leon S. Kennedy x Reader)
Author’s note: This is a sequel to “A PAST WITH HER, A FUTURE WITH YOU” and the end of my three-parts fan fiction "I TRUSTED YOU WITH MY HEART" I decided to write after so many of you asked for it. Sorry it took so long but I was navigating from one fandom to another. (BTW, if there are any Devil May Cry fans up here, you can read my DMC fan fictions here) PS: Even if I said it before, I have no hate whatsoever towards Ada or Aeon.
Tagged: Angst, Fluff, Romance, Post-Break up, Sexual Content
Part 1 / Part 2
***
Do you remember? We started this story by quoting some sitcom character that was clueless about love. Well, here’s a suggestion. Why not ending it by quoting someone who knew a little more on such matter.
William Shakespeare - you know that English dude expert on tragic ‘drink this poison, stab yourself’ kind of love - apparently once said ‘Love runs away from those chasing her, and those who run away, she throws herself on his neck’. I say ‘apparently’ cause, even though I have a master in English lit, this quote is from the internet, and also … who knows what the guy truly said?
But it’s the quote that’s important. Not the author. The quote it’s important because it sums up perfectly how this story is gonna end. However, before starting, let me tell you this quote is going to be the only Shakespeare-worthy sentence in this final chapter. You’ve been warned.
Love runs away from those chasing her. Well, this part was definitely written for someone like Ada Wong. Owner of countless gold medals and possibly a world record at this point, that woman is basically the Usain Bolt of the ‘Running from Leon S. Kennedy’ competition. Unchallenged winner since the creation of this sultry version of cat and mouse game, it’s better not to think about the number of times she successfully ran away from her favourite agent. But this year, this formidable titleholder in a gorgeous red dress will have to face her Nemesis in the championship. You. Though the comparison to the hideous bio-organic killing machine might not be very complimentary to you but you get the idea. This year you enter the Kennedy Olympics. And this year you run like Sonic the Hedgehog and you win the damn competition (screw you Usain Bold!). And you do this with your head high and without an ounce of regret. Ignore all the texts and flowers Leon might send on your track Mario Kart style. His gifts are not as slippery as banana peels and they can easily be dodged, I promise. Well, most of the time, when you’re not lying on your bed in the middle of the night crying and sobbing while reading his messages or playing his voice in your voicemail again and again until you’re nothing more but a giant mess with puffy red eyes drowning in a puddle of your own tears. Screw those messages too! And screw his broken yet terribly sexy voice as well!
Being a man of word, Leon kept his promise. And for months you kept on running peacefully, marathoning away from this past relationship that had destroyed you like no other before while tranquilly fixing your broken heart on the way. That run was a good cardio.
But sometimes, cardio is not enough, and even just the small sight of an overpriced whisky bottle or the smell of Leon’s perfume on some guy’s clothes is enough to reopen your wounds. And when it happens, you always do the same thing, you break the damn bottle - and run cause damn! it’s expensive! - or you tell the guy his perfume smells like cheap cologne and that he should definitely change it, which is an improvement on your past destructive behaviour, since there was a time shortly after the break up when you would have simply dragged the guy to your place to let him fuck you senseless while imagining he was Leon. All that just for the illusion to feel him again and for the sake to kick him out the next morning, screaming like a hysterical psycho.
So imagine, for a small second, the wave of intense feelings surging out of your healing heart when, in the middle of a cafe, you hear some dude sitting behind you ordering Leon’s favourite whisky while wearing the same bloody perfume. “It’s got to be relentless persecution at that point!” You sigh, already annoyed, closing your book more violently than intended. Hope you’re ready, stranger! Because you’re not in the mood to deal with this right now. You turn around with a fake smile that reflects perfectly your irritation, ready to give him hell, your sharpest riposte already burning your tongue. After all, he deserves it and you can’t help it. But when you meet familiar – and freaking gorgeous - baby blue eyes you freeze and stare, suddenly confused and lost and refusing to believe that in spite of the intense running, love just jumped at your neck after all and it was sitting there, taking the shape of Leon S(tupid) Kennedy.
You should have stood up and left, run for your life, run for your heart. And yet, you didn’t. You stayed there staring at him looking at you, allowing all your memories, the good ones and the bad ones, all your buried feelings to come back from the dead, embracing them as if you had missed them, which, let’s be honest, you probably had. You tried to scream to yourself “Come on, Y/N! Shake a leg!” but it seemed that what you brain understood was something like “Cum on him! Open your legs!” as a couple of blurry hours later, you were on Leon’s bed, legs wide open, screaming his name and begging him not to stop his amazing thrusts.
Six months, you ran for six months … Well, looks like the run ends here and now. After a minute-long deep stare, an afternoon of amazing sex and two hours long of something blurry in between.
“I missed you.” And there you were! The moment all couples that broke up have after one of them (in this case Leon with the infamous ‘I missed you line’) starts to believe they miraculously rekindled their love. The fatal post-coital cuddling session that you don’t know how to react to, as you think of all the possibilities before you. Possibility Number 1) You tell Leon you missed him too and cuddle, enjoying that embrace you secretly yearned for months. But that includes forgetting what he has done or pretending that nothing happened. Possibility Number 2) You push him away, get dressed, leave again and act as if this afternoon never happened. But if Leon doesn’t remind you of it, the ache between your legs will, that’s for sure! Possibility Number 3) You jump him again until you sore even more and hope that you’ll be able to leave afterwards. Frankly, all possibilities suck because, in all cases, it seems like you lose. Since, with Possibility Number 1) you lose the run forever, with Possibility Number 2) you lose him again and with Possibility Number 3) well it’s result 1 or 2 + your body aching like crazy for days. I suck at math but no need to be Einstein to know the result of this calculation looks unpleasant. So what do you choose?
You see a triangular dice rolling in your head, showing a never-ending succession of 1, 2 and 3 that doesn’t make any sense and that confuse you even more than you already are. 1, 2, 3, 2, 1, 3, 2 ! Oh for fuck’s sake!
You grimace, angry and pissed at Leon and probably even more at yourself, and finally leaves his bed and his strong warm arms, feeling the tears furiously forming in your eyes. “I can’t” You can’t look at him in the eyes. You don’t want to see his confusion, don’t want to see his pain as he witnesses all his hopes shatter to pieces. “ What do you mean?” You can hear the sheets crease behind you, alerting you of Leon’s agitation, so you hurry and pick up all your clothes scattered in his room. You must leave, now. 2! 2 it is! “This! All This! This afternoon never happened.” You tell him, putting on your clothes with sudden clumsy and trembling hands, not caring if your bra is correctly hooked or if you put your shirt on back to front. Your heart. You have to think of your poor heart first. “Hey, hey, hey.” You feel Leon’s hand softly grabbing your arms and you let go of whatever you were holding right now. His voice is sweet and trying to be comforting. Don’t look at him Y/N! Don’t look at him! “Look at me.” You do. Damn it! And you see his gorgeous blue eyes staring at you, studying your flustered face and the tears slowly drowning your (colour) look. You missed those eyes. You missed them so.damn.much ! As much as you missed his hands cupping your face and his thumbs wiping up your tears. God! How many tears those thumbs have missed recently. “It’s alright.”
You want to believe him. You really do. But there is this voice screaming in your head and very clearly this time. A voice shouting, forcing you to remember that night, that awful nightmarish night, the one when you felt your heart break and your dreams turn to ashes. All that because of him and his obsession for her.
“No, it’s not alright, Leon.” You shake your head and miraculously manage to take a small step back. You never thought you could. But you had to. You can’t stay close to him. You can’t let him touch you, feel you. Not if you want to run away. And you have to run away. Like her! Like Ada. Ada! “I told you. For as long as you have feelings for Ada, I can’t … we can’t…” “Please don’t talk about her.” He begs and rubs his hand over his face. Is he trying to chase her away from his mind? Is she still in here? Please, let her not be in here. “But she’s the reason we’re in this situation now. She’s the reason why we’re in this mess.” You insist only for the sake to see his reaction when you mention Ada, to see if she’s still under his skin, somewhere. “Ada is not the reason. I am!” Leon corrects you, a finger directed at his heavy chest as he is putting the full blame on himself for the first time since that night. “I am the one who went after Ada when I shouldn’t have! I am the reason why we broke up! I am the reason why we are so miserable!” “But I was fine!” You shouted back in an attempt to show him he was wrong refusing to listen to that part of you who knew he was completely right. You were miserable without him. “I was doing fine until you came back and fucked everything up! I was healing goddamnit!” You felt new tears rolling along your red cheeks and quickly wipe them off with the back of your hand that felt so callous and rough in comparison to Leon’s gentle touch. “You can’t just jump back into my life like this and expect me to forget!”
Leon nods, agreeing with you in a certain way. But the truth is, he doesn’t want you to forget. He doesn’t expect you to erase his mistake. He just wants you to forgive him … No, he just wants you to come back to him. Period. And that’s got to be what you want to. It has to! “So why did you have sex with me, huh?” He finally asks even though he already knows your answer. “Tell me!” You’re not the kind of person who has meaningless sex, not the kind of person who worships one’s body with divine kisses and devoted caresses if they mean nothing. “Why did you have sex with me?” And yet the answer he wishes to hear doesn’t come out. “For fuck’s sake Y/N! Answer me! Why?” He shouts making you shiver and cry even more. “Because I LOVE YOU!” You finally scream. And it hurts. It hurts but it feels good too. Like a weight lifted off your chest. “Because I missed you too! Because those months without you have been terrible! Because I don’t know how to handle even just the thought of you or the sound of your voice in my voicemail. Because each time I see something that makes me think of you, I’m a mess and I do things that normal me would never do! You fucked me up, Leon! You fucked me up but I love you! And I hate to love you!” You grunt in pain and relief, enraged but happy that you finally let everything out. And Leon listens in silence, frozen by your powerful honest confession. But he doesn’t know how to react. He doesn’t know what to say. Part of him is overjoyed, ecstatic that you still love him but there is another part that just feels terrible, sorry for the pain your love for him caused you even in his absence. “But you see—“ You continue “That’s the problem in our relationship, Leon! I love you in ways that are so intense, that go beyond sanity. And you love me by half.” You see him crumple, his horrified face looking suddenly very pale as if he had just heard some dreadful news. Is that really how you feel? Is that how you see his love for you? Is that what he has made you believe? “Goodbye Leon.”
With the full intention to leave Leon’s place for good and never come back, you grab you bag on your way out of the bedroom while carelessly shoving your underwear inside of it since you forgot to put them on in the midst of panic and precipitation. Get out of here, Y/N! Now! A reasonable voice encourages you. Listen to me! But this not what Leon wants.
“I never loved you by half.” He declares and you abruptly stop, asking God if he’s some kind of sadist that loves seeing you in pain from the comfort of his divine sofa somewhere in heaven. “Never.” But it’s not God and his sadism that makes you turn around. It’s you, and your masochist love for that blue-eyed man before you. “I don’t believe you” Your voice almost doesn’t leave your throat as you try not to sob. “But it’s the truth.” He says with a calm soothing voice as he slowly approaches you. “I never imagined my future with Ada. I never wished to grow old with her or build a home with her.” You want to tell Leon to stop talking, to stay where he is but your body doesn’t seem to respond. And when you feel him grabbing your hands in his and the comforting warmth that goes with that simple touch, you know that leaving is now an almost impossible task. “Yes. I admit it. My feelings for her were real.” Even when his honesty hurts you, you don’t know how to leave anymore. “But they were nothing in comparison to what I feel for you.” You try to let go, pulling your hands away from his loving grip but he holds you back. And you’re not strong enough. Or maybe, you just don’t want to be strong. Everything is so confusing. Everything is tearing you apart. “But they’re still here, aren’t they?” You question, hoping his answer might give you a clue, might give you the strength to make the correct decision. Do you leave? Or do you stay? “And they’ll keep coming back each she goes back into your life. You can’t let go of her.” “You’re maybe right.” His words hurt you more than you thought they would. They hurt like hell because you realise there are not the ones you wanted to hear. You wanted to hear him say that he would let go of Ada, for good, for you. You wanted to hear that because deep down … YOU WANTED TO FUCKING STAY! “But can you let go of your past?” He continues and you shake your head refusing to hear any other word coming out of Leon’s mouth. “Don’t!” You beg, weary. “No! Listen to me this time. Ada is my past, Y/N. She’s my past. And you … you’re my future. You’re my life, damn it!” He doesn’t cry but you don’t need his tears to sense how emotional and how honest he is. And suddenly, you just want to listen to him. “And I was a fool not to see it sooner. When you left me, I felt a void I had never felt in my entire life. I felt like a part of me was missing. And then, the bombing in Washington happened, and it was like I had nothing left. I needed you. I wanted you. You. Not Ada.” “Leon” You whisper and he cups your face again, blue eyes staring deep into yours, allowing you to see everything in him, his strong love for you and all the weaknesses he hated to admit. “It was you in my mind. Only you. And it will always be you. Because I love you. Now. Today. And I will always love you.”
You cry even more, uncertain if those tears are tears of sorrow, tears of joy or a mix of both. God, how can your emotions be such a mess right now? How can you be wishing to shout at him with all the anger you’ve accumulated and, at the same time, willing to kiss him with all love you’ve got?
“If you got to believe something. Believe that. And if that’s not enough and you think you can be happy with someone else. Then go. I won’t hold you back.” You frown. He is fucking lying. You’re sure of it. “You can’t stop running after me and you know it.” He smiles and scoffs, sensing that hint of sudden defiance in your tone he enjoys a lot. “True. I can’t sop running after you. But I’ll do my best not to catch you if that’s what you want. But you got to tell me. Is that what you truly want?” You don’t reply. Truth is, you’re not sure what to say not because you’re not sure that’s what you want but because you’re not sure you can trust him if you let him in again. “No.” You whisper. “No, that’s not what I want. I want you. All of you.” You can see Leon struggle to contain his growing joy as it starts to glimmer brighter and brighter in his irises. He doesn’t want to cry victory just yet. He is cautious and rightfully so. “But can I?” “Want me?” He smiles. “ Have you completely?” You correct, searching for a promise in his eyes, one you hope, you wish he would not break this time. “Trust me with your heart again and find out.”
This better not hurt this time…
#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#resident evil#i trusted you with my heart#resident evil fanfic#fanfic
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Tali’s Alphys-Centric Fic Rec List
I’ve been meaning to make this for a while!! All fics are oneshots unless marked as a series or with a chapter count. Thanks to everyone who recced several of these to me on my 12am begging-for-alphys-fics post dfdksdl. These aren’t in any particular order. The “notes” section is my commentary about each fic. No fics are based on full AUs (ex. underswap, horrortale, etc). The only endgame Alphys ship included is Alphyne, though most of the fics listed are gen. Hope you can find something you enjoy here!
Extra Credit by FriedCatfish
Rating: G // Word count: 1,206 Summary: Undyne loses track of time watching anime. Set before the events of the game. Notes: Cute Alphyne oneshot! Short and sweet, very nice characterization
world comes pouring through by feralpheonix
Rating: G // Word count: 1,655 Summary: Alphys reunites with some old friends on the way home from taking care of business. Notes: 2nd person Alphys pov but it surprisingly works? A small moment with Alphys, Bratty, and Catty, which I literally NEVER see content for so it was really refreshing!! Takes place at/near the end of the pacifist route.
white lies to the dead by MiniNephthys
Rating: T // Word Count: 580 Summary: Alphys walks through Waterfall, talking to someone who's not there. Notes: Queen Alphys ending; Alphys “talks” to Undyne after she’s been killed. Hits me right in all the emotions ;;
Found Soul by LibraLibrary
Rating: T // Word Count: 1,331 Summary: Self-worth is a slippery, fleeting little devil, and the bastard flower that killed you isn't helping. Takes place during the final fight of the True Pacifist run, following Alphys from one purgatory to the next. Notes: Very angsty, definitely make sure you’re ready to handle Alphys’s suicidal thoughts, but a very good read! I love seeing the Lost Soul battle from her POV.
And I Feel Fine by Masu_Trout
Rating: T // Word Count: 1,685 Summary: The fallen human is human is fast approaching The Core, and Mettaton is ready to finally take the stage. Now, if only Alphys would stop worrying so much. Notes: Alphys & Mettaton friendship in the no mercy route, but manages to be surprisingly not depressing. Mettaton POV but definitely still deserves to be here. This fic does a great job of characterizing them both and it’s always great to see Alphys working in her element.
Experimentation by pickledragon
Rating: G // Word Count: 1,531 Summary: Alphys is, above all, a scientist. She may watch anime with religious fervor and make horrible Undernet shitposts in her free time, but she is good at her job. She knows what they say about her, behind her back. But when she stands there, time open before her, she resolves to collect data. Each experiment, intentional or not, brings new opportunities to change certain variables and observe others. Alphys is a scientist, after all. Notes: THIS FIC. it’s technically part of a series but it stands on its own (it’s the only one i’ve read by this author). EXCELLENT alphys characterization and writing style. Some Sans & Alphys friendship too which is always stellar. If you didn’t gather from the summary, it’s an alphys starts to remember resets fic.
Memory by Ash_yeet
Rating: T // Word Count: 19,962 // Chapters: 5/20 Summary: It's been two years since monsterkind have joined the humans on the surface, and Alphys is happier than she's ever been. But things can't stay great forever. She starts having nightmares, lapses in memory, flashbacks to things that have never happened. She hopes it will pass... sans is doing his best to adjust to life. When Alphys reaches out to him about her nightmares, he doesn't expect much. He quickly changes his tune. Someone is trying to come back. And they aren't what they used to be.sans and Alphys are trying to move on. But there's one thing they forgot: No matter how hard you try, you can't run from your past. Notes: I’ve only read chapter one so far, but it’s been really good! Looks like it’s going to involve Gaster in some way. Says it’s on short hiatus but was updated in April so doesn’t look abandoned.
Hot and Cold Blooded (Alphyne series) by perniciousLizard
Rating: varies by fic, usually G but a few T and one E // Word count: 36,516 // Works: 18/18 Summary: This series is a place to put all my Alphys/Undyne stories that aren't part of another series. Notes: this series has something for everyone; you can pick and choose which works to read. Most are feel-good fluff and humor, some hurt/comfort too. Some connect to the author’s Sansby series (which i also can’t recommend enough)
When Life Hands You Enantiomers by Kaesa
Rating: T // Word Count: 2,739 Summary: Alphys has a half-finished tile maze puzzle, reams of useless data, and a bunch of piranhas that can't tell the difference between lemon and orange scent. Sans has donuts. Notes: ONE OF MY VERY FAVORITES. Fun puns, science, alphys & sans friendship, piranhas, the opportunity to actually understand organic chemistry references,, it’s so good and fun
Friendshipping by AyuOhseki
Rating: G // Word Count: 4,564 Summary: Sans finds Alphys's secret Sans/Grillby RPF. This won't get weird or awkward or anything, we're sure. Notes: Hilarious Alphys narration, great characterization, it’s just so silly and warms my heart. I love terrible fanfic writer Alphys
social links by simplycarryon
Rating: G // Word Count: 2,525 Summary: Friendship's pretty neat, or so your video games and anime dictate. But you are not an anime protagonist, and you're not sure you know what friendship is any more. Notes: more solid sans & alphys friendship :D
See You Another Time by decamarks
Rating: T // Word Count: 18,500 // Chapters: 1/14 Summary: “Have you ever thought of a world where everything is exactly the same... Except you don’t exist? Everything functions perfectly without you.” Alphys spent a lot of time thinking about what it’d be like to start over. It wasn’t fair for someone like her to escape consequences. She knew that, yet the thought never left her mind—the thought that maybe, just maybe, she could get another chance; that she could abandon her life, her failures—everything—and start anew. But that would never happen. Sometimes, Alphys wondered. Would the world be better off without her? When unexplainable anomalies appear and begin to warp the world around her, Alphys discovers something she was never meant to know: the identity of the former Royal Scientist, and how he met his demise. Doctor W.D. Gaster vanished without a trace; he was erased from reality after an experiment ended in disgrace. Forgotten by the world, shattered across time and space—it’s like he never existed in the first place.And Alphys can’t imagine a better fate. Notes: This is a monster of a first chapter but definitely worth the read!! So much good stuff happening already. I’m a total wuss but I still love the cosmic/existential horror bits going on so far. Great Sans & alphys friendship and Undyne & alphys friendship so far. All the amalgamates also feel incredibly well written. Can’t wait to see more of this one
(And here are a few of my own Alphys-centric fics as well)
Seventh Time’s the Charm by Taliax
Rating: G // Word Count: 1,519 // Chapters: 1/7 Summary: Six bad "dates" Alphys has been on, plus one that is actually pretty good. Notes: Alphys is my favorite and I love giving her a bad time. First chapter is a “date” she has with Sans. Next chapter which I have in progress is going to be Papyrus. (Alphyne is still endgame of course.) Set mostly before the events tof the game. Get ready for lots of second-hand embarrassment sdlfkjds
Support Character by Taliax
Rating: T // Word Count: 1,814 Summary: If Sans is determined to fight the human, Alphys is going to make sure he's prepared. Notes: Sans & Alphys no mercy route friendship, based on the headcanon that Alphys was the one to give Sans the powers/magic he uses to fight the human.
it's your best life (if it's the life that you're living right now) by Taliax
Rating: T // Word Count: 4,046 Summary: Through messages saved to Sans's phone, Queen Alphys gets a glimpse at lives that might have been. With so many possibilities... how did this timeline go so wrong? Notes: Sans & Alphys friendship, Queen Alphys ending, mostly angst/hurt/comfort. I’m really proud of this one and it uses my main headcanon for how Sans knows about resets.
The Trans-Underground Alphys-Carrying, Match-Making Road Trip by Taliax
Rating: G // Word Count: 5,713 Summary: From her secret security camera, Alphys gets too invested in Sans's relationship with the voice behind the door. This wouldn't be a problem if Mettaton didn't decide to take her ship into his own hands. Trying to catch up with a battery-powered robot is hard work, but telling the truth is even harder. Notes: This is a really silly fic with some hurt/comfort sprinkled in. Has some Soriel and Papyton in the background. Has some Alphys & Papyrus friendship as well which is always underrated in my opinion.
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Who said I’m out of your league?
A/N: I wasn’t sure how to end this one so let me know what you all think! Feed back is greatly appreciated! Also I totally had to use this gif, his confidence is unmatched lol
Request: Can you please do a William Nylander imagine where you meet the team for the first time and they tease him about you being out of his league or something. Thanks!
For the entirety of your six month relationship, you had always assumed that Willy was out of your league. He was a professional hockey player, the Swedish-Canadian version of Thor, not to mention that his personality could impress even the strictest mother on the planet. You were, for all intents and purposes, average. You had a normal job, normal friends, you considered your looks to be normal, and you had a normal, by your own standards, upbringing. Your personality was probably the one thing you were confident could hold a flame to Willy’s but even then, he had the ability to be so selfless at times you wondered if you were dating an angel.
Willy on the other hand thought that you were the most amazing thing to ever walk this planet and he took every single opportunity to tell you just that. You did something different with your hair? “Wow babe, you look amazing.” You wore new clothes that you just got? “Damn baby you should model for that company.” There was never a shortage of compliments that came from him about you.
Which was probably why you didn’t feel as nervous as you should about meeting his teammates for the first time. You knew that Willy loved you, there was never a doubt in your mind, so you figured even if today went horribly wrong in every aspect you still had that going for you. You also had heard wonderful things about his teammates, from Willy himself but also the fans. It wasn’t like you hadn’t interacted with them in some capacity, they had heard your voice over the phone or briefly over the headset when Willy joined them for video games. You were pretty sure Willy had talked about you to them, at least in some capacity, so really you should be set up for an easy meeting with all of them.
That’s what you tried to tell yourself anyways, the closer you got to the bar you were meeting the team at the more you felt your hands beginning to sweat. You rubbed them on your jeans for the fifth time, reaching over to lace your fingers with Willy’s as he drove. You thought you were holding your nerves fairly well, you had assured Willy before you left that this was going to be a walk in the park.
Boy were you beginning to eat your words.
“What’s got you so worked up?” He teased, pulling his eyes away from the road momentarily before he returned them to focus on where he was going. “You’re never nervous.”
That was a lie. In fact Willy had seen you nervous on numerous occasions, including the first time you two had ever met. He would be lying if he said he didn’t find it cute. You had a number of nervous ticks that he had picked up on over the last few months. You would bounce your leg while waiting for an event that was causing your nerves to spike or you would bite your lip when deep in thought, as if planning out every option. Your cheeks would heat up, creeping up your neck, when someone called you out on any and you would wave your hand in the air as if physically brushing the nerves away momentarily.
Right now you were expressing all of those ticks, right down to the heat climbing up your neck as you tried to wave your free hand absentmindedly, brushing his words out of the air. It caused Willy to smile, he knew you better than you thought he did. He brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of it before he focused back on the road again. You would never admit it to him, you liked to be a neutral front but he had seen your nerves spike randomly in the days leading up to today. You had grilled him about his teammates a few times, wanting to make sure you at least had the basics of their names, girlfriends who may or may not be there. It had made Willy laugh, comparing it to you taking notes as if you were about to write a paper on the leafs player.
“You can hide it all you want, but you’re nervous.” He called you out again and you gave him a sharp look, sticking your tongue out at him childishly.
“I’m not nervous, I’m just…” You trailed off, tossing around a number of emotions in your head before you settled on the one. “Worried. These guys are your teammates and your best friends. I know it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, because you love me and that’s important but it’s going to make things awkward if they don’t like me.”
You turned to look at him, letting your words settle in the car as Willy parked, your stomach dropping to your feet as you realized you were there. Everything felt so much more real now that you were looking at the sign of the bar, peering in the front window you could see Zach and Rasmus, already surrounded by other players.
“Hey..” Willy’s soft voice pulled your eyes away from the window and back to him. “It’s going to be okay. They’re going to love you, I mean it’s not like I haven’t hyped you up. Just be yourself, if you’re uncomfortable after like an hour then we can go, okay?” He assured you, giving your hand another kiss.
“Okay, let’s go.” You smiled a little, grabbing your purse and climbing out, stopping in front of the car to wait for him before you both made your way inside. Your stomach flipping once more as he held the door for you, following you inside and guiding you over to the table.
“About time, we were wondering if you got lost on your way.” Zach teased, causing Willy to roll his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. I get lost one time and you never let me live it down.” Willy laughed, pulling out a chair for you to sit down in before taking one at your side. “This is Y/N. Y/N, this is Zach, Rasmus, Auston…”
You followed his finger as he pointed to each player who was there, as well as their own guests, mentally trying to commit them all to memory. You were pretty good when it came to names and faces, but the nerves weren’t helping, you could almost feel your hands shaking a little.
“Hi, it’s nice to meet you all.” You waved a little, smiling softly as conversation picked up, Willy holding your hand under the table.
~
It was as though you had known these people your whole life, you fell into conversation easily, answering questions about your job, hobbies, and your family. Willy kept a close eye on you the entire time, making sure that you weren’t getting overwhelmed by the amount of people who were trying to get to know you all at once. He smiled a little as he watched you engage in a conversation with Mitch about puppies and which breed was superior. He hadn’t been worried about you meeting the guys, he knew you would get along well and they would probably end up liking you more than him.
In his mind it was impossible to not like, you were the sweetest person he had ever crossed paths with, with the exception of maybe his mom. You were constantly doing what you could to help others, taking care of him in the smallest ways like putting his laundry away after a road trip, making his favorite dinner after a rough game, or making sure he followed the trainer’s instructions even if he tried to avoid them. Not to mention that you seemed to make friends everywhere the two of you went, you just had the type of energy that drew people to you.
“Hey, I’m going to grab another drink with the girls, did you want anything?” You asked, pulling him out of his thoughts as you stood up and he smiled a little. “Sure, surprise me.”
He gave your hand one more squeeze as he watched you branch away from him with some of the girls, making your way up to the bar to order your drinks. It was like a proud parent watching their kid go off to school for the first time, it was a sign to Willy that you really were comfortable around his friends now.
“Dude, she is so out of your league.” Mitch snorted, taking a sip of his drink as he watched Willy look after you with that same lost puppy dog expression you had been describing about your own dog only moments ago.
Willy felt his cheeks heat up as he tried to hide his face in the last remnants of his drink, he should have known the second they had him alone they would say something to him.
“I mean seriously, she’s like a walking angel. How did you land her?” Zach asked, joining in on the chirping of their young teammate. Everyone was happy that Willy had found someone who seemed to match his energy, knowing that the blonde deserved the best.
“It’s my undeniable charm boys, maybe you should try it sometime.” He smirked a little, firing back at his teammates as they all erupted into chuckles around him.
“Well if she ever wants a real man, let her know I’m always around.” Rasmus teased, reaching over to mess up Willy’s hair playfully as Willy smacked his hands away.
“She wants a man not a man child.” Willy fired back before he felt a hand on his shoulder, another drink being placed in front of him. “Got your usual!”
He smiled as he saw you sitting back down beside him, shooting a look to the boys to behave, he didn’t mind their chirping but he didn’t know how you would take it seeing as how this was your first time meeting them and while it was going well, he didn’t want it to ruin anything.
~
The rest of the afternoon continued in a similar manner, the conversation flowed easily, and any time you stepped away from the group Willy was hit with another round of chirping about how you were out of his league. It was all in good fun and by the end of the afternoon you had begun to pick up on some of the chirping that carried over into the normal conversation, firing back at the boys with a smirk.
“I mean, at least Willy knows what he’s doing, when was the last time a girl came back to you after a night?” You shot back at Auston innocently, sipping your drink as Willy and the boys burst into a loud round of laughter, accepting the high fives and the fist bump from Auston.
“On that note, I think we better get going, gotta get my girl home and away from you hooligans.” Willy smiled, throwing his tip money on the table as he helped you up and you waved your goodbyes to the group.
“Bye Y/N! You know where to find us if you ever want an upgrade!” You heard the boys called, laughing as you and Willy made your way back out to the car. The ride home was nice, you were buzzing as you filled Willy in on the conversations he hadn’t been a part of. This continued when you got home too, jabbering away as you made your way upstairs, stripping out of your jeans and sweater, tugging a pair of his sweatpants from the drawer as he sat on the bed, staring at you.
“Damn you are so out of my league.” He muttered to himself, smiling as he watched you glow in relief of his friends approving of you.
“What? Who said I was out of your league?” You frowned a little, setting yourself between his legs and playing with his hair as you looked down at him, his hands resting on your sweatpant clad hips.
“Just the guys chirping at me, don’t worry about it but they do have a point. I am dating a literal angel.” He smiled as he could tell that the heat was rising up your neck to your cheeks again, in an attempt to hide your blush you shook your head. These were the things you usually thought about Willy, not things you were used to him saying about you.
“Oh please, have you looked in the mirror Nylander?” You hummed, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips so he couldn’t argue against you. “Maybe we aren’t out of each other’s leagues but just in a league all our own.”
He smiled against your lips, giving your hips a gentle squeeze. “That’s a pretty elite league to be in, I must’ve gotten called up when I started dating you.”
“You’re running my compromise!” You laughed and pushed his shoulder, hardly enough to budge him. “Now, I had fun today but can we get pizza or something and just chill? My social battery is drained.”
He smiled and stood up, now towering over you gave him the advantage to press a kiss to your forehead.
“Your wish is my command, Princess.”
#william nylander#william nylander imagine#Toronto Maple Leafs#toronto maple leafs imagine#toronto maple leafs story#william nylander x reader#william nylander story#william nylander writing#nhl writing#nhl#nhl imagine#toronto maple leafs writing
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Then Again, Chapter 3: The Taste of Frog
Summary: After an intense fight and a forced-to-share-the-bed situation during their junior year decathlon trip, Peter and the Reader examine their faults and failings. As they attempt to fix their mistakes and improve their friendship, that friendship quickly begins to evolve into something else.
Betas: @fanboyswhereare-you and @girl-tips-from-satan
Masterlist (with AO3 links)
Then Again, Chapter 3: The Taste of Frog
(Word count: 1,862)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29,
Aside from Peter’s obtrusive moodiness, the dinner ends up better than I imagined. We try to avoid too much debating— to save our brainpower for the coming tournament… and, though no one says it, to avoid being kicked out of the restaurant because Peter was getting way too loud while arguing with Flash.
Instead, we go a different route. We breathe life back into a handful of school memories, the kind I hope we always remember, no matter how old we are or how far apart we all live. A personal favorite of mine is the time the captain of our baseball team misheard “shoe string” as “g-string” during the “Lost and Found” pep assembly game and, without hesitation, reached into his pocket and threw one down to Mr. Harrington (whose face was appropriately horrified). Or, a favorite of everyone’s, the time Abe spilled saline on Flash in Chemistry. Most of us were there when Flash pulled the emergency shower and started stripping in the middle of class because he assumed the liquid was acid and Abe couldn’t stop laughing to tell him otherwise.
“Seriously? That’s so old!” (It was only two months ago.) Flash can’t let that story slip without protesting, yet he has to force his own laughter down. His mouth might be running, but I can tell he’s mostly amused, partly embarrassed. For once, he doesn’t seem like such an asshole. “And you shouldn’t laugh, Y/N, given what you did in first grade!”
I raise an eyebrow.
“Me? What about first grade?” I ask. He raises an eyebrow back to me as I squint, trying to recall. After a long pause, I remember. “Oh. That about first grade.”
Of course he remembers. Heat spreads across my face.
“Oh come on, what could you have done that was that bad?” Ned asks, intrigued.
I try to stifle the laughter rising in my throat but I barely manage it. I really can’t believe I forgot about this. If Flash hadn’t mentioned it, maybe by the grace of God, it would never have crossed my mind again. Damn you, Flash.
Peter shifts in his seat. His arm brushes mine as Flash begins to boast; he pulls it back. It makes me jump, just barely, from the warmth.
“Miss Goodie Goodie Two Shoes dragged me,” Flash says, “an innocent young boy, under the slide — during recess — to kiss me. And boy did she.”
Flash leans back in his chair, arms crossed, with an I won smirk that he directs at me, then Peter.
Screw you, Flash.
“You did not,” Michelle says in disbelief. “You kissed Flash? And never mentioned it?”
“Hold on!” I say, hands rising from my lap. Side conversations have halted for this piece of old gossip and there is no way Flash gets to bring me that low with something from a decade ago. “Back then, he was little, brainy Genie, and he’d had a gumball machine delivered to my door step. Yeah, Flash, don’t think I won’t bring up the fact you liked me, not the other way around.” I hope my tone conveys how badly I want him to shut up and let this go. “And as ridiculous as this sounds, I was like six years old and genuinely thought there was a chance he was a rich prince, so if I kissed him, maybe he’d turn into a frog and I could steal his money from his locker and his desk. It wasn’t like I got naked in front of twenty-eight students and my teacher two months ago!”
“That’s so not how the fairytales go, Y/N,” Ned mutters. “Was your childhood okay?”
“You thought he was a frog?” Peter asks, speaking to me for the first time tonight. He crosses his arms.
“Yes, Peter. I thought I could rob a magic frog prince. It borders on childhood criminal fantasy, but the point is, I was a child. You can’t make fun of me for something I did at six years old.”
“Oh, really? And what does frog taste like?”
His shoulder nudges mine as he leans in closer, his eyes flickering to my lips for emphasis. My heartbeat is pulsing at the tips of my ears. I untuck my hair from them, even though they’re burning. I hate that he’s looking at me like this. Even if that look is for the wrong reason, it’s like a finger curling around my collar bone building pressure as it pulls downward. My breathing verges on painful.
What was the kiss like?
I pause.
“Dirt,” I say. Make this funny again. “Even as I dragged him to the slide, his hands were stuffing his mouth with dirt.”
Laughter erupts again. Thank God. Soon, Abe is almost in tears over it, clapping Flash on the back as Flash stammers to defend his choice of lunch ten years ago.
Peter goes silent again, eyes on the floor. Against my will, I can picture a tiny Peter Parker sulking inside my brain picking at the loose threads of my mental Perfect Day tapestry. My optimism is coming completely undone. Frustration or anxiety or both are pushing me off of my little “today” high.
We exit the restaurant at 10:27. Goodbyes and See you in the morning!’s pass between everyone in a jumble of half-conversations. I eavesdrop on Ned and Betty, both leaning against the window, cloaked in neon red glow with taxi headlights gliding over their kneecaps.
“So lame that Mr. Harrington won’t let us bring non-team members,” Ned’s saying. “He’s always being such a stick in the mud. Somebody should just… I don’t know.” He stumbles for words. “Like, kill him or something.”
Betty lets out an awkward chuckle.
“You know,” he hurries, “as, like, a prank.”
She snorts, covering her mouth as she doubles over.
“Totally,” she says. “I’ll write the Morning Announcement piece on it and everything. See you in Psych in a few days?”
“Yeah! If I’m not in jail for murder, you know?”
Now they’re both laughing. Little stars of excitement bloom in my chest. I’m so glad Betty came. I’m thinking about all the future excuses I can muster up to force them to work with one another in class. My daydream dissolves as Michelle hip checks me back into the present.
“I hope you’re ready to lose a seventh hour buddy,” she whispers.
“Nah. I’ll stay on that love train as a third wheel. Gotta make sure the conductor doesn’t wreck it.”
“Trains have like, eight wheels per segment.”
“Per car, you mean.”
“Exactly. I think Ned can handle it.”
“This must be a new record for us derailing a metaphor because I don’t follow the tracks you’re laying down.”
“Those are terrible puns and you know it.”
I shake my head and roll my eyes. The phrase I love my friends should be etched into the bone of each of my ribs. The phrase repeats itself so often in my head I occasionally visualize it that way.
As Cindy, Abe, Sally, and Betty wave goodbye, I turn to Ned. He’s waving back at them, a grin sprawled across his face. Eventually I catch his eye and smirk.
“You saw what you saw,” he mouths, jerking his head slightly to where Betty had been standing and giving me his best “cool guy” attitude.
Before I can respond, Flash finishes his conversation with Peter (which… though tense, didn’t seem hostile for once), and addresses the remaining four of us.
“You know, I thought this dinner thing was a joke at first, but it was actually… not the worst idea in the history of Midtown Tech. It gets an official Flash rating of ‘Not Totally Lame.’”
Michelle raises her eyebrows. Ned and Peter look vaguely annoyed. Personally, I’m not that surprised. (I’m kind of surprised— that he vocalized it.)
“You’re wel-”
“Yeah, dude, well, you were only invited a few hours ago,” Peter says. He scratches the bridge of his nose and rubs his eyebrow before making eye contact with Flash again. “And the rest of us planned this last month. Like, forever ago.”
Everyone freezes.
“Cool,” Flash says. “Bye guys. Fuck you, Penis Parker.”
Peter doesn’t speak a word as we walk back to his and May’s apartment. His behavior is so foreign, so drastically cold even compared to how he’s been all week, that Ned, Michelle, and I keep our mouths shut too. Until we reach the door.
Peter unlocks it and turns around.
“You guys staying here tonight?”
“Yeah,” says Ned with the tone of obviously.
“Do you want us to go home?” I ask.
He looks at the ground as he shrugs. He seems almost as shy as the first time I met him, years ago.
What is going on in Spider Town?
“Just thought you guys might sleep better in beds. I know that couch sucks.”
“The couch is fine,” I say, wondering if he needs the reassurance of us wanting to be there. “MJ is what sucks. She pushed me off in her sleep half a dozen times. This time, she gets to sleep on the edge.”
Michelle nods. “But if you try to spoon me even once, I’m going to roll over and crush you.”
Peter stops listening and pushes the door open.
I fight the urge to kick at his heel while I follow. Peter Parker has always been the kindest person in this city. Right now, though, he’s genuinely pissing me off. He’s acted worse than Flash has tonight, completely unlike himself. If anything, he’s making Flash look like a better friend.
After faces are washed, teeth brushed, and retainers stuck into place (everyone but Michelle— her teeth are naturally perfect), we turn off the lights and head to our usual sleeping stations. Michelle and I on the couch, Peter and Ned in the bunk beds. I lie on the couch for fifteen minutes, itching my index finger.
“Hey, I’ll be right back. Don’t steal my spot.”
Because of my retainers, it sounds more like, “Don’t thteal my thpot.” I take them out.
Maybe I can end this on a good note.
I stumble in the dark for a few steps until I find the hallway with my hands. I reach Peter’s door and turn the knob. A quiet conversation stops.
“Ned,” I whisper from the doorway. “Before I go to bed, I just need to clarify: if you do murder Mr. Harrington, legally I’ll have to testify against you. And I don’t want to see you behind bars. Try a different way to impress her, maybe?”
“Oh my goddd,” Ned groans. “I…. I still have no idea why I said that.”
I imagine Peter smiling on his bunk. He probably isn’t. If he were in a good mood, he would laugh and ask what we were talking about. If he were in a better mood at all, he would know by now.
“I know,” I say. “Goodnight!”
As I pop back out of the room, I hear Ned’s reply and Peter’s quiet, “Yeah.”
Who says “Yeah” to a “Goodnight”?
Peter Parker, apparently.
Tomorrow, I’m either going to hug him or kill him.
Next chapter
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#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker imagine#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland imagine
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GF - Stars Aren’t the Only Things That Glitter
A Drifting Stars AU short, collaborating with @clownwry.
2nd, 3rd, 4th.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Grunkle Ford, look out!”
“Mabel, stay back!”
BANG!
“Mabel… MABEL! HOLD ON! I’M COMING! MABEL!”
~~~~~~~~~~
Mabel looked at the blazing fire, trying to pretend to ignore her great-uncles muttering so she might pick up a swear word, be it alien or English was perfectly fine by her. Mabel didn’t pick up any swears, but she did hear the words “reckless” and “irresponsible” and “inconceivable”. The Listening Game did a fair job of distracting her from the pain on her arm and shoulder. Except when Grunkle Ford’s bandages were a little too tight and she would wince at the friction on her burn.
Still muttering through his teeth, his eye glued to the injury through his single-cracked glasses, he did it again, pulling on the bandage a little too hard, this time making Mabel accidentally let am “ouch!” slip past her lips. Ford looked up at her and his expression grew softer and more nurturing. “I’m sorry, my dear, but really, you shouldn’t have done that.”
“They were gonna shoot you…”
“I don’t care.” Ford said firmly. “If I tell you to run, you run. If I tell you to hide, you hide. If I tell you to save yourself and leave me behind, you do so.”
“No.”
The nomadic scientist blinked, slightly surprised by her stubbornness. Only slightly surprised, because she is a Pines, after all. But she is a good kid and in the month they had been traveling the Multiverse, she had never outright defied him like this. “Excuse me?” He wasn’t even stern or angry; he was too surprised (and maybe even a little proud) to properly scold her anymore.
“No. That’s stupid.” Mabel answered, her little cheeks puffed up in determination, her eyes sparkling with the reflection of the fire, a flame of her own in the windows to her soul. “I’ll never leave you behind. We’re a family, we gotta stick together if we’re gonna survive and get home. We need each other. Besides, if the tables were turned, would you leave me behind?”
“That’s an entirely different matter.” Ford said with a small smile on his ruffed-up face; he resumed his work on the burn more gently now and finished wrapping it up, securing the bandage. “I’m old, I’ve lived my life. You take priority.”
“I don’t care.” Mabel said, copying Ford’s exact tone and voice from earlier. The grown man snorted with amusement.
Ford decided to put this little argument on hold, seeing how there was no changing Mabel’s mind right now. And he didn’t want to spend the entire evening rebuking her. “You did do a very good job disarming those hunters. I’m very proud of you.”
Mabel sat up a little straighter and smiled up at Ford. “Thank you.”
Ford smiled at her and stood, moving to his large backpack to fish out the things for tea and dinner, though it would probably only be dried meat and oats. “I’m just glad you’re okay, pumpkin.”
Mabel’s eyes widened as her world was put on pause. She felt like she was being sucked into a time vortex, transported into a memory.
Grunkle Stan was dusting some zombie parts off of his armchair when Mabel was walking by, leaving the kitchen after giving Soos his cure for zombification. Stan noticed that Mabel looked very tired. He smiled at her from her seat, and Mabel ran up to him and climbed into his lap for a big hug.
“Hey, you alright?” Stan asked.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Are you?”
“Oh, I’m fine. I’m just glad you’re okay, pumpkin.” And he gave her a secure squeeze and Mabel happily hugged him back.
Mabel was shoved back into reality, accompanied by a sinking feeling of loss. She missed Grunkle Stan. She missed Dipper. She missed Waddles, and Soos, and Wendy, and the Shack, and Oregon, and California, and Mom and Dad…
Ford turned back to the fire with a kettle and wire-spider in hand, ready to ask Mabel to fetch some water (she always enjoyed being of assistance), but he stopped when he saw her crying with her eyes shut and wiping her cheeks dry with her wrists. Ford was immediately halted and his priorities shifted drastically. Nothing mattered at this moment but making her feel better.
He was swift. Ford scooped up some water from the clean stream into the kettle, then used the wire-spider to hold the kettle over the fire. Giving the water plenty of time to heat up and steam, Ford gently picked Mabel up from her seat on the log, only to hold her close and let her wrap her arms around his neck. He didn’t say a word, being a social-cripple and having no idea what he could say that would make her feel better, so he stayed silent and was simply there for her.
And really, that was all Mabel needed.
~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning the two humans were lucky to come across a small rustic town in the woods, reminding Ford of the small Tennessee-town Fiddleford grew up in. Except of course there were no humans, but blue-skinned elves with pointy years and the occasional centaur.
Ford had stolen a bit of money from a hunter yesterday, which meant they got to restock on supplies and even buy a cheap breakfast at an outside cafe. Sitting at a table under an umbrella, Ford was going over his plan with Mabel while she munched on her sweetly-cooked purple apples tossed in spices and sugar.
“... so once we reach this cavern here, we’ll reach a very interesting town called Flush Valley. I’ve heard it specializes in building mechanical limbs and prosthetics, but it’s surrounded by rich minerals perfect for building, so we can find what we need easily here. There may even be a day-by-day job I can get to earn a bit of money for food and shelter.”
“I can work, too! Daddy always said I was like a French horse!” Mabel added in excitedly.
Ford chuckled. “We’ll see. I would feel more comfortable if you were working so I could keep an eye on you. Moving on,” The old scientist sipped his strange alien coffee, but it contained caffeine and somewhat resembled his home dimension’s coffee taste, so he drank it. “The way there could be crawling with scavengers. A lot of people come to Flush Valley just barely hanging on by a thread, easy targets for hunting and stealing food and supplies. So we need to keep our guard up for the next two days.”
“Okay.” Mabel said, as nonchalantly as if Ford told her to remember to add milk to a grocery list.
Ford gave her a firmer look and added, “So, if we think we’re being followed, what do we do?”
“We pretend we don’t know and we keep walking calmly.” Mabel replied. “We keep our eyes open for a way to lose them, and where the sneaky-peaky spies are.”
“Very good.” Ford smiled at her. “If we decide to try to lose them, what do we do?”
“Run as fast as we can. If I can’t catch up I get on your shoulders and focus on making them go away, while you get us away.”
“Yes, excellent. What do we do if we decide to confront them?”
“I grab by sling-shot and exploding rocks and hit as many guys as I can. I aim for the knees or feet so they fall and can’t shoot us. Oh, and we stand with our backs to each other so we see everything, together.”
“Couldn’t have said it better myself. Now, if we are surrounded and I find a way to escape, what do you do?”
“Make sure you go in so you can lead the way!” Mabel answered with a grin.
“N-No, honey.” Ford said gently with a smile, as if informing a kindergartner that 1+1=2, not 11. “If I find a way to escape, you go first…”
“No,” Mabel said, still smiling as she shook her head. “You go first so I can make sure you’re coming.”
Ford sighed and took another sip of his drink. “Okay, if I tell you to run, you…”
“I grab your hand and run with you, making sure no one gets lost.”
“Mabel, no.”
“Mabel YES!” The girl grinned with determination. “You’re stuck with me, old man! You can’t get rid of me!”
Ford was getting annoyed at this point. He pinched the bridge of his nose, lifting his glasses up slightly, and growled, “I’m not trying to get rid of you, I’m trying to save you!”
Mabel gave him a very serious look and questioned, “By leaving me alone out here?”
“No! I-...” But Ford stopped and bit his lip. His niece did have an excellent point. As much as Ford was willing to do anything to keep her safe, as much as Ford was willing to sacrifice his own life for her’s, that really wasn’t a good idea.
There was a good chance Mabel could survive without him, at least until she found a nice family to take her in (or, somehow, miraculously, Stanley opened the portal and brought her home, but Ford didn’t dare to hope for that). But she was so young and inexperienced in the Multiverse. At least when Ford was first thrown into the chaos he was an adult and was accustomed to weirdness thanks to his six years of researching Gravity Falls. Mabel was extremely resourceful, imaginative, intelligent, and clever. She was also stronger and faster than many would assume. But she was too trusting. Too innocent. So, not to belittle Mabel or underestimate her, but she was right; she needed Ford, and as noble as it would be to exchange his life for her’s if it came down to it, that would also be incredibly stupid and only buy Mabel a little more time until she was captured or enslaved or killed or even worse.
And of course, only someone as people-smart and clever as Mabel could make Ford see that.
He sighed tiredly. “O-... Okay.” Mabel smiled proudly at him. “Okay, I’ll… I’ll try to be more careful.” Ford promised. “I… I just need you to be safe.”
“Don’t worry, I think we do a pretty good job of keeping each other safe.” Mabel complimented, holding out a bite of her fruit on a fork for Ford.
The old man held up a polite hand and declined, but his stomach turned against him and growled, and Mabel frowned at him, giving Ford a deja vu feeling of his mother forcing him and his brothers to eat their vegetables. So Ford smiled and accepted the sweetly cooked fruit. “Yes, I think so, too.”
#GF#gravity falls#gravity falls au#fanfiction#drifting stars au#collab#ford and mabel bonding#ford pines#mabel pines#ANGST AND FLUFF#more to come!
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Made this one some time ago and had the HONOR of collabing with my dear friend @royai who wrote this AMAZING piece!
Love u Katie :3
After Dark
by @royai
It came as a surprise to Riza Hawkeye that the light could be as fearsome as the dark.
It never occurred to her that trouble could exist in the thin space between the two, that it should preserve itself there for a hundred years, maybe longer, and wait. She imagined herself as a girl asleep in her bed, moonlight slanting through her four-paned glass window, a ferry for the monsters and the things that were worse than monsters. Children checked under their beds and inside their closets, refused to venture into cellars and attics, thought of warding off the unknown with fat oil lamps and candles melting into their brass candlesticks. That things with spindly arms and bodies blacker than ink could use light as a conduit for their demented games…
That they could touch her, even…
Nightmares took up residence in Riza’s sleep. In her waking too, they lingered there, limned her mind with the briefest flashing of tendrils. She curled into herself at night, closed her eyes on the horrors. The blackness found her, though. A million spider’s legs on her body, ghosting the flesh, raising the hairs, and that line on her cheek where the monster had touched her would weep. And she would weep, too, because it had been so long since dread had forced its way in. The tendrils brought strange, frantic memories to the forefront. A panic as familiar as church bells.
Riza’s father, a monster in his own right, in the way that men become monsters and in the way that she had become a kind of monster too. He never minded her but to be those tendrils in the dark. Never in the light. That was her comfort, her safety, her promise.
The light.
A betrayal.
***
Central reached for her like a beggar. Grimy hands, oil-stained, gunk under fingernails chipped and jagged, it closed its hands around her and she was reminded, again, again, again, about the stories her father would tell. He would tell them in his sleep, and make promises of them in her ear, and he would tell them, even, through mouthfuls of blood. That Central was a bastard city. Its towers, spires, and cobblestones bathed in storefront lights bleeding from ornate windows, in the yellow glow of street lamps.
Riza left her apartment and slipped off a curb, first thing.
She remembered her first night in the city. Automobiles flicked light into her windows, made shapes out of the lamp she kept on a pile of boxes in the living room. Shadows in the dark. There were sounds all the time. Movement like tree branches.
Back East, back home, Riza could wander into the fields when she couldn’t sleep. She took a military vehicle into the countryside, an hour or so west, just a bit further inward. It parked fine on the dirt roads. Headlights would go black, melt into the darkness all around, and the hip-high grass cradled her as she sank down, down into the cottony earth. Most people counted sheep to sleep; Riza counted stars, stalks.
She always woke before the sun. Home in time to rinse the sticks from her hair and brew coffee on her electric stove.
Central did not exist to afford her any of that. Central was alive like hordes of flies are alive. Incessant buzzing, a whirring in your ear that you can’t see, that you worry might bury itself in your eardrum. Even before the tendrils and the monsters Riza would lie awake in her bed, books unearthed from boxes, clothes folded in neat squares over her dresser, a chest of drawers not quite filled yet, her apartment unpacked and unsettled, and fret over the whole of it: Central.
She slipped off the curb and scraped her achilles on the concrete. Her teeth crashed together with the force, and she massaged her jaw as she reached down to rub her wounded ankle, fingers coming away wet and red.
A car beat over the cobbled street, spewing dampness from its tires. Riza wasn’t aware that it had rained but she smelled it now, acute and intense, like a single pinprick on the skin.
Out east, that smell was earthy, ancient: soaked stone and evergreens, swollen carriages and damp horse hide, wetted dirt and a choked fire.
Riza took Longmont to Leander, cutting her way through the city via back alleys where moonlight and street light was caught on brick corners and cordoned off by severe angles. She read the stories of women assaulted in Central well past dark, and had seen all the headlines he placed strategically at her desk, a tiny dog-shaped paperweight holding the newspaper steady until the moment Riza could read it and be properly warned. But it was never the people of Central who made her uneasy.
It was several blocks to his apartment. Riza folded herself into the dark. The creature could follow but he could not show himself here, not without a conduit, not without the light. Everything black, nothing inside of it, a void.
A rectangle of light exploded over the ground. Riza stopped, terror seizing her hard. A woman with greying hair hummed and whistled as she sprinkled water out over hanging potted plants. Riza’s chest bounced frantically as she watched the shadow of the woman’s hands in the light, the shadow of the watering can wandering back and forth across the chasm of yellow, methodical as a pendulum.
It happened so suddenly that Riza had little time to react. A mist, a gathering shadow, one red eye peeked out at her from the fluttering darkness. Then, like snakes, tendrils crept out of the line of black and into the little patch of light. Riza willed the woman to close the window, begged her, thought for a moment that she might shout or cry, but it was likely that the woman would only become curious and the window would remain uncovered as she came to watch from her lighted perch.
The monster was an ancient child and yet, in this form, none of his features were childlike. His smile was wolfish and cruel, thin like a knife’s blade, and his tendrils sharp as barbs. They thrashed up against the liquid dark where Riza was hiding, attempting to gather her by the ankles.
The child spoke using a dozen voices.
“Where are you going, Lieutenant Hawkeye?”
Home, she thought. An impulse, the truth, spoken so carelessly in her mind. To him. To the stars or the stalks, that tall grass and damp earth. Somewhere known.
“You have made a rather purposeful attempt to evade me.”
“Forgive me,” she bit, “but our last meeting was less than enjoyable.”
The monster smirked.
“Do I trouble you so much, little Riza?”
The nickname, familiar in sound, comforting in its use, was a bitter poison on his tongue.
“I’ll ask again for transparency.” The tendrils clawed at the ground, raked it. “Where are you going?”
Away from Central.
Away from the light.
To him. To him. To him.
He’ll shut off all the lights, pull all the curtains closed, feed her hot tea and leftover lentil soup and summer sausage. His apartment will smell like cologne and the candle with petals baked into it, and they’ll settle into the down of his bed and see nothing, and the monster will never even realize he has lost.
“You have only as long as the window stays open,” she said, gaining confidence. “I am not bound to you. I can go wherever I want.”
As she said it, the woman in the window started to stir. Her footsteps grew closer, the sound of the humming rising, rising, rising into the final closing of the curtain. The monster’s frown was washed away by the night.
Riza ran.
His apartment was several blocks east of Central Headquarters. The storm’s eye, the quiet, the massive, white and oppressive thing. Riza wound her way past it without managing to sneak a glance. She didn’t need to. She could feel its gaze on her, what all of it represented. And the squared coach lights were tiny pillars of threats, waiting for her to come closer and be beckoned.
She thundered past several shuttered windows; an older man on a stoop hunched close to the ground; the sounds of women chattering together like preening birds, their heels clicking over cracked brick and concrete.
Riza took the stairs two at a time, lunging forward through the hall light, praying nothing would lurch out from the darkness and drag her away. She learned at a young age to fear the sudden jerk of the unknown.
“Lieutenant Hawkeye,” he said. He must have heard her coming, because his door was wrenched open, and he stood there in pajamas and holding a cup of tea, the bag still soaking.
“We’ve had an emergency at the office, sir.”
His brows trundled downward.
“Please, come in,” he said, and moved aside as she nearly tripped her way into his apartment. “Excuse the mess.”
There was no mess, not quite like someone would expect. The Colonel’s apartment was better kept than hers, although she had just moved and he had gotten to stay. Things were collected together in neat piles: alchemy books gathered at one arm of the couch, on the floor, an old mug sat atop them, and there were coats strewn about too, though placed strategically, two on dining chairs and one on the lounge by the front door. Pots hung together in clumps along his kitchen walls, white-tiled, much nicer than Riza’s tan wallpaper; and on his floor, beneath the coffee table, several sewn blankets, all gifts from the Madame’s girls, as far as anyone knew.
Riza reached for one as she folded herself into his couch. “Please, sir. Can you turn off the lights?”
He set his tea on the counter. Again, he looked at her with concern, but the lights started to fall away the closer he came to her. First the kitchen, the six squares of dining space, the hall light he shut off as he sat opposite to her on the couch. The lamp was last. And finally, with the lights of Central thoroughly shut out, Riza could breathe.
It was much like how she would lock herself in the bathroom as a child, plugging the bottom of the door with a wet towel, the waxy shower curtain a flimsy barrier between herself and her raging father. Eventually he removed the locks, and then the knobs. Even now, she felt the cold, hard press of the tub’s porcelain on her back.
“Thank you.”
Silence, and then: “What are you doing here, Lieutenant?”
Coming home.
“I’m not sure myself, sir.”
The Colonel shifted his weight. He was a full cushion away from her, but his heat radiated all the same.
“What happened to your cheek?”
“I cut it on a bramble while fetching a lost toy for Hayate at the park.”
Fingers pressed to her skin, a thumb ran slanted along her wound.
It was reminiscent of childhood, for sure. Riza had always courted this quiet, contemplative darkness. It was when she was a little older that she invited Roy into it, and he welcomed the invitation, and he was a kind, treasured guest. But tonight she was feeling particularly fragile.
She took his hand and fit his knuckles under her chin.
The monster had allowed her to be here, that much was certain. There was no other reason that he wouldn’t have stolen her from those stairs.
She crushed Roy’s hand into herself.
What was he after?
What was the motive?
Was it… afraid?
Roy leaned closer to her. His fingers squeezed hers. He wanted to say something, she knew, or ask her why she had come to him and begged for the dark.
She would not tell him. Tomorrow, maybe, but tonight she was fragile.
Riza found his mouth in the dark. She set his hand free and it wrapped itself around the curve of her neck, tipping her head back. His other hand gave her hair a gentle tug.
“Are you all right?” he managed to ask around her lips, while she occupied herself with tracing the scars on his hip and in his abdomen. She gripped the hem of his t-shirt and pulled him toward her until she was on her back and he had to brace himself against the arm of the couch. “Lieutenant,” he said, though the sentiment was weak, ill-willed. He was attempting and failing at control.
“I’m all right,” she said, and kissed him again. He tasted like his tea. Again his fingers brushed the cut on her cheek, and as they did she was shocked, jolted. She broke away from him and sat upright. “I’m, uh…”
“I really just need to know if you’re all right.”
“I’m going to go.”
“Lieutenant— Riza.”
The name was too much, the break in her skin was too much, the darkness was not enough. It was not enough. The curtain hadn’t been enough. The porcelain. All the nights cascaded in the dark, the world pulling itself to a close around her, fitting like a glove.
“I have to go.”
The Colonel kept to his place on the couch as she stood and put her hand on the door and wondered again about what the monster wanted.
She hadn’t known as a child, and she had survived anyway.
She had survived.
The light swallowed her whole.
#royai#riza hawkeye#roy mustang#selim bradley#fma#fullmetal alchemist#LOVE U KATIE#so nice to do a collab....#AND ITS SO GOOD#also yes I have a lot of feelings about the whole Pride situation#myart
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Chapters: one. ~ two. ~ three. ~ four. ~ five. ~ six. ~ seven. ~ eight.
Wordcount: 2.7k
Summary: Being with Miya Atsumu is like chasing a storm - equal parts exhilaration and danger. After all, it’s impossible to tame a storm
Masterlist here
AO3 Link here
Atsumu didn’t get his name on the National team roster, let alone the Olympic team because of his genius setting skills (unlike dear Tobio-kun), but because of the stubbornness and determination that he has in spades and figures he might as well deploy these same qualities to win this particular match. Osamu is of zero help here, muttering insults under his breath but fortunately, he has an unwitting accomplice in Shino, who happily babbles about how ‘mama is going to bring her to the park on Sunday’ .
So armed with onigiris pilfered from Osamu and a box of mochi from her favourite dessert shop, he goes a-hunting for his wife and child at the park on Sunday afternoon and finds them lying on a picnic mat in an open field framed with trees.
‘Oto-san! ’ Shino squeals and dashes into his arms. He lifts her up, spinning her in the air, pressing kisses to her chubby cheeks.
‘What are you doing here, Atsumu?’ she demands as she sits up. ‘How did you even know we’d be here?’
He winks and gives her his most dashing smile. It doesn’t seem to work though - the frown on her face deepens, but he tries not to let her look of distrust slice through the smile on his face.
‘A little princess gave me a hint that her mama still has a habit of going to the park to watch the birds and clouds in the sky. Right, Shino?’
Shino cheers and waves her arms in reply.
‘Good girl!’ he laughs encouragingly.
She folds her arms and is about to retort when Shino demands that ‘Oto-san and Oka-san’ try to catch her - and takes off, barefoot on the grass. Atsumu catches her easily with one hand - because of course he does, a three year old is hardly a match against a national athlete, even with an injury, but Shino pouts when she sees the cross look on her mother’s face, and she has to hastily rearrange her expression into something more acceptable to her daughter.
He counts it as a point won when they share the onigiris and mochi in silence and watch their little girl chase butterflies in the grass.
‘What on earth are you doing here?!’ she says, feeling as if she’s woken up from a bad dream to find it actually is her reality.
Atsumu stands in the foyer of her office building, in the middle of a conversation with Yuna-san, the resident office gossip, who shoots daggers at her when he bounds over to greet her with a peck on her cheek.
‘I thought I’d surprise my dear wife with lunch,’ he drawls, with an emphasis on the word ‘wife’, passing her a bento box that smells amazing and makes her mouth water despite herself.
‘What are you playing at?!’ she hisses while pretending to tuck his hair behind his ear.
‘Nothing!’ he answers her, a too-innocent look on his face. ‘And you’re welcome. Enjoy your lunch, sweetheart!’
He counts another point won when she’s left gaping at him incredulously as he prances off.
He pats himself on the back for the stroke of genius that prompted him to pass Shino the three tickets to the Osaka Aquarium. Before she could utter even a word, Shino shrieked in excitement at the thought of being able to see her favourite penguins again, so with gritted teeth, she agreed to bring Shino to meet him at the aquarium on a Saturday afternoon.
‘Did you know seahorses mate for life?’ he remarks to her as Shino gathers with the other children in front to watch the penguins being fed.
‘And male seahorses are the responsible ones who bear their young - what’s your point anyway?’ she responds, contempt dripping from her voice. ‘Anyway, never mind that -’ she continues, brushing him off. ‘Have you signed the divorce papers?’
‘I forgot,’ he tells her lamely.
‘See that you remember to pass it to me next time’, she says, walking ahead to scoop Shino up in her arms.
Point lost. Time to recalibrate.
‘Atsumu! What the hell am I supposed to do with FIFTY rolls of toilet paper?’ she shrieks over the phone.
‘I may have bought a little too much…but there was a great discount!’ he responds sheepishly.
He’d overheard a conversation between her and Osamu yesterday that she needed to make a grocery run but hadn’t had the time to do so in between endless meetings with her boss. He concedes he may have gone a little...overboard.
‘And how many cans of milk powder did you buy?!’ he continues to hear her scrabble through the cardboard crate outside her home. ‘Atsumu!’
‘Gotta go, bye darlin’ - talk to you soon!’, he says, hastily ending the call as she screeches at him.
Shit. Another point lost.
He brings out the big guns by buying season passes to the museum of natural history, gambling that a blatant appeal to nostalgia might win him some points. But he knows she recognises his gambit when she corners him while Shino is playing with toy fossils in the sandbox.
‘Atsumu. When are you going to sign the divorce papers?’ she demands, her grip tight on his elbow.
Defend. Counterattack.
‘I’ll sign them after my collarbone heals and my arm is out of the sling, alright? I can’t even hold anything in my right hand, let alone sign anything now’, he says with a false smile.
Hold your opponent off until they start to tire.
‘Fine’, she mutters, shooting him a hard stare. ‘Make sure you do. I’ll be waiting once that sling comes off’.
Fuck. He’s backed himself into a corner. This might be a harder match than he imagined.
He offers to look after Shino on a Friday evening when she mentions to Osamu her boss organised a client dinner that she can’t miss. She’d nodded reluctantly after a moment’s hesitation, and they agreed that he’d drop the little girl off at home around ten p.m.
He fumbles with the keys pilfered from Osamu, pizza box balancing precariously on top of Shino’s pram and after an undignified struggle, manages to squeeze in through the doorway, finding the apartment completely still. With his one good arm, he lifts Shino from the pram, careful not to disturb her slumber and treads softly to her bedroom, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead as he tucks her in.
As he returns back to the entryway to fold the pram away, a glint of gold catches his eye, and he forgets to breathe when he realises what it is – the wedding ring he'd deliberately left behind, an act calculated to inflict maximum pain. Wow, he really wishes he could go back in time and punch that stupid prick of his past self - he thinks, holding the ring up to the light, failing to spot any flecks of dust or dullness to the sheen of the ring. She's kept it meticulously clean, sitting in the exact same spot he left it, the sole artefact of their marriage that's been preserved against the passage of time.
After all, he notices that she’s wiped the place clean of him, that much is obvious when he turns to survey the home he left almost a year ago. There are signs of Shino in the toys scattered all over the worn carpet in the living room, colourful scribbles on the walls that probably makes her fret, and there are little touches that remind him of her - the chipped teacup she insists on using, the set of handmade knives displayed in the kitchen that was always intended by her family as a threat.
But there are no traces of him - no stray pieces of clothes or volleyballs that he always forgets to put away (that she’d always get on his case for), no picture frames of them, not even the ones from their wedding day that he’d loved because he thought she looked like a snow maiden from a fairytale in her white kimono.
He’d promised her father that day he’d always take care of her. He wonders when he’d forgotten that.
‘Tsumu?’ he hears her murmur, and he jumps a little in shock because he hadn’t noticed her curled up on the couch. ‘Have you come home?’
Yes – he aches to answer, but does not.
(Because he knows he chose to turn his back on this little apartment, filled to the brim with happy, golden memories. It’s his fault he can’t call this place home, not anymore.)
‘I brought pizza in case you’re hungry’, he does say loudly – carefully keeping his distance as she sits up and shakes the sleep from her eyes.
‘Oh. It’s you’, she says, and he can hear cold steel return to her voice. ‘Why are you still here?’
‘I brought pizza to share. It’s Friday night, remember?’ he answers, plastering a grin on to his face, gesturing at the pizza box on the kitchen table. ‘I even got pepperoni, your favourite’.
‘You can’t keep playing this game, Atsumu’, she says, walking over to the switches to flick on the lights. It brings her into clearer focus, allowing him to notice the pink scars stretched across the back of her hand and the front of her knees - were they always there before?
His eyes sweep over her form - and oh - his heartbeat thunders, roaring in his chest because she’s wrapped herself in his old jacket - the same one he’d stolen from Osamu and threw over her trembling shoulders that fateful night when he stole a kiss from her for the first time.
‘I miss you’. He blurts out, startling himself. ‘I want us to be a family again’.
‘I don’t’, she answers so forcefully it makes him take a step back. ‘I want a divorce, Atsumu’.
‘But why?’ he persists, ignoring the spike of panic coursing through his blood. ‘If you give me a chance, we could try to start over again.’
‘How many chances do you think you deserve, because you’ve already left me twice, damn you!’ she shouts, pulling the jacket tighter around herself, as if to keep herself from unravelling apart. ‘The first time you left me when I was pregnant with our child was enough of a blow – but the second time I fell to pieces and if it weren’t for Shino and ‘Samu, I would’ve never been able to weld myself back together again. And now after all this time, you want me to take you back?’
‘It’s only been a few months’, he pleads, hating how stupid his excuses sound, even in his head. ‘I should've managed it better, I should’ve talked things out with you instead of just leaving, and if I could rewind time and change what I did, I would, but I can’t, and I regretted it so goddamn much when I got to Milan. I’m back now, I’m begging you - please give me another chance.’
‘Why would you even think you deserve another chance’, she laughs, the sound fraying at its seams, sending shivers down his spine. ‘You’ve spent our entire marriage putting your dreams first, Shino a distant second, and me - your fucking wife - dead last. This past year has taught me that I don’t need you, ‘Tsumu, I don’t need your lying, cheating ass in my life when I can manage perfectly fine by myself’.
‘I didn’t cheat on ya’, he defends himself heatedly, but she levels him a hard glare that makes his gaze slide to the ground. ‘I mean - I thought about it, but I couldn’t go through with it’, he admits, guilt flooding his belly.
‘Is that supposed to make me feel better?’ she says dryly, rolling her eyes.
‘Yes - no - I don’t know.’, he answers. ‘Look doll - I know I’ve been an asshole, I know I’ve hurt ya badly, but I know you still love me - you know your face gives ya away when you lie’, he adds, when she opens her mouth to contradict him, and she closes it in defeat. ‘Otherwise you won't be wearing my jacket when you sleep, neither would you keep my ring clean. And if ya love me, don’t ya think you should give me another chance?’
Her face twists in anguish, and there’s a rush of shame in his chest that he tells himself to ignore, reaching forward instead to cup her cold face with his hands. She winces at first, almost as if his touch is scalding, white hot with heat, but soon surrenders when she realises his grip on her is unwavering, lifting her gaze to meet his.
‘You can’t do this to me, ‘Tsumu’, she says, her voice brittle, echoing with an aching sadness that tears a hole into his already gaping heart. 'You can’t leave as and when you feel like it and return when it suits you – that’s not how marriage or fatherhood works. And it’s not fair for you to try to guilt me into taking you back. Why should I give you another chance only to end up being hurt again? I'm only human, and there’s only so much my heart can take'.
It’s only then that it hits him that while she may have transformed herself in his absence into a woman of iron and steel, her heart is still made of glass, and a single careless touch might shatter her into fragments across the floor. And he knows he shouldn’t strike her any further with his words, but he’s a selfish fool of a man - always has been, always will be - so he pretends he does not see her pain (looks deliberately away from the fissures in her heart that might cause her to fall apart) and continues to press hard.
‘Please - just trust me enough not to hurt ya, I just need one more chance. Tell me ya still love me - even now.’
‘I do, oh gods, I do, ‘Tsumu- ’ she gasps, almost as if she’s drowning in a whirlpool of his selfishness, her breath tipping over into a broken sob - ‘I love you, but our marriage is over - it was over the minute you put yourself before Shino and I, and left us behind to fend for ourselves.’
He shakes his head, desperately flailing against the death knell in her words - because it can’t be over, he refuses to accept it’s over, what does she mean it’s over - but he stills when she chokes back her tears to smile, lifting her hand to meet his.
‘I’ve already paid you with my heart, ‘Tsumu - don’t you think I deserve to be free?’
Her words swirl in his mind as he makes his way back to Osamu’s flat.
‘Things didn’t go so well, I take it?’ Osamu asks as he lurches through the door with overcast eyes.
He inhales slowly through his nose. ‘Nope’, he admits, exhaling in defeat. ‘She isn’t prepared to take me back.’
Osamu pulls out a chair at the kitchen table and waves him to take a seat, sliding a plate of reheated curry rice under his nose when he does. ‘Eat up’, he says, not unkindly, and Atsumu does, even though the smell makes his head spin and every swallow of food lodges itself painfully in his stomach.
‘Go on, say what’s on yer mind’, Atsumu says, knowing his brother too well to see through his posture of nonchalance. ‘I know you’re gonna tell me ‘ I told you so ’ and mock me with some insult intended to make me feel worse than I already am’.
‘I’m not going to gloat, if that’s what you mean’, Osamu says mildly. ‘All I can say is that the heart is a funny, fickle thing, and sometimes it hungers for things it knows will only bring pain. But I think ya know you’ve reached a point where you need to consider whether you can live with yourself for constantly causing her pain.’
Atsumu stays silent, fingers tracing absently over the outline of the wedding ring in his pocket. He wonders if he’s imagining the coolness from the metal seeping into his skin.
#hq#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hq writing#haikyuu writing#haikyuucreations#hq imagines#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu angst#miya atsumu x reader#miya atsumu x y/n#miya atsumu#atsumu x reader#atsumu scenarios#miya osamu#inarizaki#haikyuu fluff
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I COME BACK WITH THOUGHTS/THEORIES ON ITADORI AND HIS RELATIONS- I THINK.
anyways, so i'll just point this out: i'm not good at speaking my thoughts in an organized manner. i absolutely suck at it, i speak on how my brain brings up the thoughts so i might ramble, get over my head in a thought, etc. i can't control it so i apologize in advance for the jumpiness of the texts. i will spell a lot of things wrong and not everything will be correct, as i read translations and on a manga site. don't worry it's not illegal, i believe.
MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD.
i apologize for my absence! last week or two weeks ago the tower to my computer completely broke and will not turn on. i tried to repair it and follow my fathers instructions but nothing worked. even cleaned off the fan and went through countless nights readjusting things. it's not my cords either so to help me out my father is working extra shifts to get me a new pc. so in the meantime i'll do small posts like these but not full writing/head canons until i have a computer tower lol. a family member was kind enough to allow me to have their phone while we work throughout this issue.
now onto the actual topic:
kenjaku and itadori's relationship. ( family wise ).
for context in the most recent chapter, 160 "colony" kamo shows up in sasaki's home and talks to her about the culling game and a barrier. but that's not the point, the point is as he's guiding her to the barrier inside her "dream" at the end he says "oh right. i almost forgot to tell you. thank you for getting along with my son." and then she is awakened inside the barrier, in her pajamas beside iguchi. when sasaki and iguchi look at the barrier and gather themselves they bring up kamo.
sasaki asked iguchi if he mentioned his son and he says no. this leaves sasaki in a state of confusion when itadori flashes in her mind. she says his name aloud like she finally connected the dots. now. why am i bringing up this whole kenjaku thanking sasaki for being his "son"'s friend. it throws me off because why didn't he thank iguchi?
did he not think iguchi meant their friendship? because sasaki was the one uninjured and still counted itadori as a friend? does iguchi not consider itadori as a friend anymore?
because we haven't seen these two at all since the incident. that raised many questions in me. as well "how can itadori be related to kamo?" and itadori is related to choso.
because kamo's technique is explained ( vaguely. we are aware he can create barriers, take over bodies, and has incredible cursed tools. chapter 134. this is also where choso makes his connection ( i believe. ) to itadori yuji as his brother. but because we saw this with todo many thought itadori just had another unconsious technique that allows the person who is hit create false memories and believe of a completely made up relationship with itadori without his knowledge. but alas, i was wrong. ) and we're given more hints shown than told ( imo ) i tried my best to make sense out of the situation and what he said. i think my conclusions are pretty solid, so continuing on.
we're given very little history on itadori, his past, and family. at the start of the manga we know that itadori's only family he knows is his grandfather and that he is ill in the hospital. at the very very beginning we learn that itadori is your average cute, fluffy, laid back but strong and goofy protagonist. in smaller words: itadori is kirby but even cuter and dumber.
my first impressions of him is a pineapple. if you're confused to this saying: it's calling a person prickly on the outside but sweet on the inside. and this is true, itadori's grandfather seems prickly and cold on the outside but he genuinely cares for itadori.
he raised itadori for all we know and did that with his all in assumption. but this ends up backfiring onto itadori, because he cares so much for his grandson - he ends up leaving a " curse " on yuji.
help people. save them.
itadori takes this to heart as his grandfathers speech is his last one. when he looks over to his grandfather the man is dead and now yuji is left alone. then the following events occur.
at this point in time i assumed itadori was an orphan ( he technically is if we're connecting the dots. his parents has not been shown, he doesn't speak of them, they aren't in the picture. we can conclude either they disowned itadori or died before he could make complete memories of them. )
but when we are shown in chapter 143 itadori's parents we see this "woman" jin ( yuji's father ) and his grandfather talking about has the same scar pattern. this scar pattern is either stitching ( assuming that is how kamo keeps the top of the opened skull from coming off. this is also how kamo revealed his cursed technique / body of sorts ( the brain, assuming that is kenjaku in his cursed technique and not the body / puppet he is controlling " getou suguru " ) to gojou. )
this is the only way i find kamo being able to assign itadori as his son. why is that you might be asking this dumbass here.
we do not have the full story, exact date, location, and full context of the memory/dream itadori is having. this cannot be fake either because kamo would than have no reason to call itadori his son. or is there? anyways.
take a leap of faith with me. imagine that before itadori is born ( he seems no more than a few weeks or days old in this memory. hence why i am thinking my conclusion is pretty solid in theory. but yknow gege, there might be something different. ) anywhooo.
TW. D3ATH/IMPLYING ANTI LIFE ATTEMPT
kamo had to have taken over yuji's mothers body after an accident OR after she gave birth to yuji. his grandfather is interrupted by her before he can finish his sentence but it seems to be leading to the conclusion that either kaori ( yuji's mother ) died while giving birth to yuji or kaori could not conceive and tried to take her own life or cause an accident that would take her life. ( i read a fan translation for this part but im pretty sure i also read the official translation today too and it added up to the same. )
i believe in the first idea, but since kamo's cursed technique wasn't explained in detail i don't know the conditions of his body technique. does the original host of the body have to be dead? can he regenerate body limbs ( i highly doubt. getou lost an arm during his fight with yuta. overconfident dick. reminding me of an ex ANTWAYS. i forgive him for being overconfident smooch. he learned. OFF TOPIC but continuing on i promise.
this is being continued from the cut off point. i'm so upset so it'll just be summarized. i can't believe this shit lol i took three hours just to finish it for it to literally cut off the bottom half.
continuing on in a sadge mood. kamo must not have the complete ability to take over a body. after all getou took his only arm he had as he was dying and choked his own body to his full ability. getou was willing to die ( possibly, you never know he could be alive if he killed his own body. moving on. ) just to have the chance to save his friend from being swallowed by a damn box.
so there has to be a chance that kamo cannot fully take over the previous persons complete consious and memory of their body. if getou still had his other arm after losing the fight to yuta, he could've choked kamo with both arms. in theory kamo wouldn't be able to control the right arm and die to the previous host choking him to death.
so why wouldn't the other hosts do it? after all, kamo did say it was his first time experiencing such a thing. assuming kamo has lived throughout many bodies in his 150+ lifespan none of the previous hosts could take control of their body.
i believe getou was completely influenced by gojou and his six eyes. there is no way gojou would even try to speak out to his friend unless he had an inkling or saw getou still in there. helpless and without the ability to save himself from the cage he's in.
being used and puppeteered in his own body by an external force. laughing in the world he could not. putting getou into a constant misery and defeat that he couldn't escape his hell. the one he tried so hard to fight and get out of. even if it was the wrong path.
gojou was the last person to witness getou dying. he had to watch getou bleed out after their conversation because he couldn't bring himself to kill his friend. the one he spent his whole jujutsu student life with. so for gojou to say such a thing to getou despite all that he did had to break getou out of his misery and give him that small sliver of hope that he could do something. of course he failed, but i doubt that's going to be the end of that.
the only way i see kamo being related to yuji is if he took over kaori's body before the pregnancy. assuming that when kamo takes over a body he becomes one with said body and is that person for however long he lives in said body. my only thing is, can he take over a persons body whilst they are alive? i would go more in depth like i did the last time but i am extremely upset about my work being erased so that's the end of this part.
thank you for reading! i have one more thing for you though.
the last time we see sukuna in a manga page after the shibuya incident is where he is on his throne and in his domain. this is after yuji is stabbed by yuta and is presumed "dead" at the time. he seems to be interested in yuta and i can think of 2-3 things. I would love to hear your theories too so don't be afraid to barge into my dms like the koolaid man.
A - sukuna is interested in Yuta because of his ability to use the reverse healing technique ( only a few sorcerers know this. sukuna being the first. shoko being the second one to be told that she has this power and then gojou. ) because of this he sees potential in yuta as well or has added this boy into his plans. after all, there is very few that can make sukuna make an expression that isn't an RBF. aka megumi and possibly gojou. I was looking at the page of him stabbing yuji and noticed we only see the entry point of where the blade enters. it's smaller because some got chunked off so its a possibility yuta used this to his advantage when "killing" yuji and instead hit an artery that could kill him but quickly healed him afterwards. or just his heart. the ideas.
B. Rika, Yuta is able to completely control Rika as shown. Even though he claims he is on the weak side, these two combined seem like an unstoppable force. He may be interested in Rika as she is a curse that has been put on someone that can fully control it. Not many people is shown to be able to control their curse. As we haven't met many.
this was enti and that's the last of my post! thank you for reading and it was a fun one. even though i had to restore this shit. anyways, i'd love you to add or fix up my ideas and tell me your thoughts and opinions! Thanks a bunch!
^ this is for pure humor
#𝄖entiramblesツ#jujutsu megumi#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori#yuji#getou suguru#suguru getou#sukuna ryomen#sukuna#yuta#jjk yuta#gojou#geto suguru#suguru geto#theories#jjk theory#manga spoilers#jjk spoilers
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Quits
Masterlist
Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader
Words: 2200 words
Warnings: TUA season 1 and 2 spoilers, violence, blood, swearing.
Requested by: Anon!
Hi!! Can i get a five x reader where the reader gets shot or stabbed or something but doesnt tell anyone and ends up passing out? Thanks!!
A/N: I’m back at my requests! Thank you Anon for this sweet lil’ idea and I hope it lives up to your expectations as it does with mine ❤ Requests are still open!
You remember a time when you took pride in your capacity to make the right choice at the right time. When school asked you what you wanted to do in life, you chose the right one from the start unlike the majority of your friends who had to change classes multiple times and were now a happy veterinarian. When life put on your path the incarnation of your perfect partner, you decided to take it slow to see where it went. Fortunately for you, you quickly saw through his facade and kicked him out before he could create more permanent damage to your heart.
Your life was full of important decisions that were though at the time. Sometimes you had to take some days to think about it when other times it took you hours. They were all risky shots that could end up badly for you in the end so you liked to take your time to think about it.
This is why when Five Hargreeves, your childhood closest friend, knocked at your door one day and asked for your help to stop the fast-arriving apocalypse, you didn't think twice and immediately accepted. How could you make the bad choice by helping him save the world? If he failed you would die, he would die, everyone would die and this is obviously the bad end of the story, right?
Well, as of right now, you were starting to doubt it. After failing to stop 2019's apocalypse and after Five had time-traveled every living Hargreeves plus yourself in the 1960s, you found yourself in two precarious situations: one, you were back in your 13-year-old self and two, you were not fighting two crazy hard-ass Commissioners, but three crazy hard-ass IKEA mafioso!
It was a miracle that you survived the raid on the Hargreeves Mansion unscathed. You had thanked your luck for allowing you to live another day, although you regret ever doing so. Clearly, you had jinxed yourself, for surviving the Swedes ambush at the Mexican consulate wasn't as painless as the raid.
A very well-sharpened knife had managed to pierce your skin, getting in your abdomen all the way to the hilt before you managed to kick the white-haired man down a nice flight of stairs. Your medical instinct pushed you to hastily insert some absorbent tissue into your wound to control the bleed and allow you to check it later.
Sadly, one thing led to another and you were now sitting with all six Hargreeves who were currently trying to formulate a plan of some sort while Diego was focussed on his JFK conspiracy and you were literally bleeding out.
The once pristine washcloth you had stolen in the kitchen was completely soaked, staining your blue shirt with dark red spots. Speaking of spots, hundreds of tiny black ones were now dancing in your line of sight like dark fireflies.
"Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?"
You lifted your hand hoping to get the attention of the others, obviously working when Luther asked what you'd done.
"Anything yet, but would it screw the timeline if I died here?"
You saw Five frowns in confusion, his mouth opening on a question before yelling your name when you couldn't hold yourself up anymore and fell to the ground. Strong arms lifted you from the floor and you landed on a comfy cloud. You smiled in contentment, it has been a while since you had a proper night of sleep. This cloud will be perfect for a nap.
Tiny slaps on your left cheek forced your eyes to open and meet a concerned blue gaze.
"So pretty." You mumbled, still focussing on the blue eyes frantically scanning your face.
Oh did I mentioned earlier that you had a crush on Five? Because you do and it is not small if after 15 years your heart still accelerates when you merely meet his gaze.
"Don't sleep okay? Keep your eyes open!" You laughed at his command, it is the same thing you told him the day he lost consciousness at Leonard's cabin. You had a snarky remark at the tip of your tongue but it died on your lips when darkness forced its way upon you.
………………………
Even before your mind was operational enough to create thoughts, your brain was already running full speed and relentlessly reminded you that your abdomen was on fire. The pain was a great ally into your mission to wake up and open your eyes. Maybe you would be able to ask for some painkillers.
The harsh neon light shining over your head made you tear up the second your eyes opened to assess your environment. You tried again, slower this time, and found yourself confused by your surroundings.
Many times in your childhood you had passed time in this room, planning pranks, doing homework, reading, or just hanging out. Nothing had changed excepted the walls that were now covered in equations and names.
Groggily, you attempted to seat up, your abdominal muscles screamed in agony at your movements forcing you to stay on your back. The groan that erupted from your throat alarmed a passer-by who raced to the door, opening it so fast that it collided with the wall.
"She's awake!" Klaus shouted in the corridor when he saw your wide-open eyes. He only had time to put a foot into the bedroom that a blue light appeared out of nowhere announcing Five's arrival. Your heart was beating too quickly by the time Five had pushed Klaus out of his room and slammed the door shut behind him.
“What were you thinking?!” Five's anger caused you to frown. What did you do? You searched your mind for an answer and quickly found one in the vivid memory of a knife diving into your flesh.
You opened your mouth to talk your mind but nothing came out of the desert that was your throat. Noticing your problem, Five caught a water bottle from his nightstand, cautiously brought it to your lips, and let you drink small sips of the freshwater. Satisfied, you coughed once to prepare your throat.
“Now you know how it felt so we are quits.” You answered, referring to the time in Leonard’s cabin where you felt like the world had stopped when Five lost consciousness. You took care of him as best as you could despite your field of expertise being animals you had a basic understanding of the human anatomy, so with your trembling hands covered in his blood while desperately trying to not notice how much there was, you worked as effectively as you could to keep the love of your life alive.
"This is not a game! You could have died!" You would have believed his angry eyes if only his hands weren't shaking so much. You were friend with Five for long enough to know how to read his temper and now, he was scared.
"But I didn't." You tried to calm him down with your calm voice. You remember jumping at his neck the second he woke up that time he passed out, why couldn't he do the same instead of yelling at you?
You watched him open his mouth a couple of times before closing it, clearly thinking through what he was going to say. When he finally chose, his voice was barely audible. "Selfish."
You blinked in confusion at his statement. "Me? Selfish?" With each word now, your voice was raising until you reached the point where you were yelling at the blue-eyed 30 years old man. "Everything I did was to save the damn world from the apocalypse and you call me selfish?! I took a fucking knife to the gut and dealt with it for the sake of the world and you call me self-"
"I wasn't talking about you." Now this stopped you good. You frowned in confusion, not seeing where he was going. "I was talking about me."
Your head tilted to the side, searching your brain as to why Five would call himself selfish. All he did was for his family, he never acted for himself, so why?
"I almost let everything down to make sure you made it back alive. I almost let the world end for you because I can't imagine living another 45 years where you're not there." His words were soft, a tone that you weren't aware was used exclusively around you. His gaze fled yours, switching between the scribbles on the walls and the foot of the bed.
Color rushed to your face for his words definitely sounded like a confession to your ears. Your childhood self had waited for so long to hear something of the type, so long that you thought the friendzone was the ultimate area that you would be welcome in. You accepted that your feelings were strong enough to be pleased by his happiness even with someone else.
A smile formed on your lips causing Five's heart to miss a beat in its rhythmic pumping. "I-"
"Guys they are doing it!" Klaus' loud voice on the other side of the door cut you off.
"Doing what?" Allison had joined her brother at the door, confused of his antics.
"Admitting their undying love for each other!" At this point Five had opened the door swiftly, his murderous gaze fell on his siblings, daring them to say something more. It was at this moment that Klaus realized how scary his brother was in reality, he wasn't the little Number Five anymore, but a grown-up man who could easily murder him in a thousand ways possible.
"Oh heck no!" The words fell off your mouth against your will, the embarrassing situation making you nervous so your brain tried to defuse the situation by stating the opposite of what Klaus wanted. From your point of view, you totally missed the way Five's eyes lost their deadly rage, instead showing his pain at your words. He was quick to hide his feelings once more, but his siblings had enough time to acknowledge his true emotion.
Slapping Klaus behind the head, Allison got a hold of his shirt and pulled him away to let the two of you clear this out. Everyone knew you two were pinning each other when you were younger. Even when fighting the two apocalypses! It was clear as day for the rest of the family, however, it wasn't the case for the both of you.
The door slammed back in place once more making you jump and hiss in pain when your abdominal muscles contracted. In your field of vision, you noted that Five had tensed before closing his hands in tight fists and made his way to his desk, the only place in the room you couldn't see because of your incapacity to turn around.
You knew what you said must have hurt him, it clearly seemed like you had rejected him. Stupid defense method.
"Five?" No answer was given, his heavy breathing being the only sound resonating in the room. "I didn't mean that." A scoff fell off his lips.
"You think I'll believe that?" The venom in his voice told you just how much you had hurt him, squeezing your heart in shame.
"When you disappeared 15 years ago I developed a system to protect myself from new heartbreaks. It hurt way less to force myself to believe that my feelings for you were nonexistent than acknowledge them and continue living without you, Five." Water appeared in your eyes, pooled down your cheeks, and soaked your new shirt. "I was so used to deny my feelings that-" Your voice broke when a sob forced its way out of you.
Hands found your cheeks, drying the wet trails before pulling you into a firm chest. You managed to slip your hands around his waist and cried for as long as needed. The exhaustion of the last endless days caught up to you along with the fact that the subject of your love was very well alive and here to stay, fueling the flow of tears falling down your eyes.
"I really didn't mean it." You managed to croak out between sobs.
One of Five's hand went to your hair, stroking your head tenderly. "I know." Your grip onto his shirt tightened when a kiss landed on the top of your head.
Slowly, he pulled away to lay you back down onto his bed and snuggled to your side when your anxious eyes found his. One of his arms went under your head while the other took care to not accidentally touch the general area surrounding your wound when snaking around your waist to keep you as close to him as possible.
His body heat was very much welcome, you snuggled your way into the crook of his neck in search of comfort.
"Rest. I'll be there when you wake up." He whispered into your hair when his button-down crumpled in your hands.
You sighed, allowing yourself to relax in his embrace. "I love you Five." You had to get it out before you let yourself fall asleep for you were scared that later would be too late.
"I love you too." Delicate patterns were traced by his skilled fingers onto the bare skin of your waist making you shiver. Your heartbeat accelerated at his chuckle before stabilizing when you fell into a peaceful slumber.
#five hargreeves#five hargreeves x reader#number five#the boy#tua s1#tua s2#the umbrella academy#my fic#the swedes#fluff
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It’s Cold in that Fridge: The Case of Nakari Kelen
Since The Case of Mara Jade has been doing the rounds again, I’ve finally gone back to this post that has been sitting in my drafts for literally years. So let’s honour this absolute badass who deserved better:
Once upon a time, the Star Wars universe was but six films (and a tv series) in the story of the Skywalker family. But beyond George Lucas’ story was an absolute boatload of books, comics, games, and other materials that made up the Expanded Universe. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and the rights to the Star Wars saga, everything in this universe was decanonised and deemed “Legends” - some aspects of this universe were retained or re-purposed, others sit in Disney’s figurative vault and will likely never see the light of day (and seeing how the ST turned out, maybe that’s for the best).
But this transition between Legends canon and Disney canon was not so simple, because the nature of publishing meant that there were novels approved during the time of Legends canon that would be released in the time of Disney canon. In particular, there had been the planned trilogy “Empire and Rebellion”, set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, with each novel from the perspective of one of The Big Three.
Razor’s Edge (Leia) and Honor Among Thieves (Han) were released prior to the Great Canon Split of 2014. But while the Luke-centric novel had been planned, it was not due to be released until well after the Split. So Heir to the Jedi (so called as an homage to the Legends progenitor Heir to the Empire) became one of the first books of the Disney canon.
What does this background have to do with Nakari Kelen? Perhaps nothing, but I do wonder how the writing process was affected by the shift from Legends to Disney - was the novel a relic of the old EU with any reference the LFL storygroup didn’t like excised during editing, or was it a trendsetter for the new EU, a Sign of Things to Come?
The most salient point being, of course, that Nakari Kelen - like so many love interests before her - was not allowed to go along her merry way at the conclusion of the novel, but was shoved into the fridge.
If there was one constant of the Legends EU, it was that Luke Skywalker’s love interests couldn’t catch a break. Mara Jade naturally lasted the longest relationship-wise, with almost twenty years of marriage to Luke before some bright spark decided she had to go (as per the aforementioned case study). But before Mara there was Jem, Shira Brie, and Gaeriel Captison (who came close to escaping the curse), and in the Legacy of the Force series they brought back sole survivors Akanah and Callista, only to kill them off for good too (and rather brutally, if I may add).
So perhaps when Kevin Hearne began writing HttJ within the confines of the Legends continuity, he was merely sticking to the status quo, or perhaps once subsumed by Disney they needed to make sure Luke's slate was clean (so to speak). And I can’t put all the blame on Hearne since I don’t know whether it was his idea, or LFL mandated - but regardless it was a poor decision.
The root cause of fridging, imo, is limited imagination. How best to cause your male protagonist pain if not kill off someone they love, or at least have strong feelings for? The answer is of course, easily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
The Luke Skywalker of HttJ is fresh from his victory in ANH, a lieutenant in the Rebellion: young, not dumb, and full of...
Nakari Kalen is an absolute Queen a civilian volunteer and crack-shot sniper who loans her ship Desert Jewel to the Alliance. Luke is immediately attracted to her, they bond over a mutual love of fast ships and leaving behind desert home planets, and engage in the inexpert flirting of two nineteen year olds while also risking their lives several times over.
I want to make it clear: I actually really like this book. It's a breezy read, almost serialised as The Early Adventures of Luke Skywalker, and is ofttimes genuinely funny. And credit where it’s due to Hearne, many of of the supporting roles in the novel are female. Other than Nakari, there's Soonta, the Rodian who gives Luke her uncle’s lightsaber, Sakhet the Kupohan spy, and the Givin cryptographer/math genius Drusil Bephorin. In a genre where male characters are often the default for these kind of roles, it was nice to see, but makes the regressive fridging of Nakari even more egregious.
Luke and Nakari make a good team fighting brain-sucking monsters and Imperials, but more importantly they have fun together - she encourages him to work on his Force skills, and he successfully moves objects with his mind for the first time (leading to Nakari adorably dub him "a little noddle scooter"). It's a very sweet, if brief, relationship, and a respite from the danger of the mission. They spend the night together (leaving the reader to decide exactly what happened behind closed doors), and share a kiss before splitting up to try and escape bounty hunters. No prizes for guessing what happens to Nakari immediately after she received the Skywalker Kiss of Death.
I assume there were two motivating factors for why Hearne and/or LFL couldn't let Nakari live:
1. If she survived, fans would wonder why she doesn't appear in ESB/subsequent material.
I recall this bandied about on forums back at the time of the book's release, and to that I say - so what? Fans are always going to wonder, and try to paper over the gaps in canon, to make up their own headcanons to explain any any perceived inconsistencies. It's certainly no reason to kill someone off.
It is in fact possible for two young people to have a romance that just fizzles, or doesn’t work out for whatever reason - it should not require great maneuvering or explanation. If Nakari doesn’t show up in the next book in the timeline, what about it? The reader is smart enough to assume she and Luke broke up, decided to just remain friends, whatever. But it seems that the only way for a female character to exit stage left is for her to die, which is bullshit.
And actually, there's no reason why she couldn't have shown up again. ESB and RoTJ cover a month and a few days, respectively, of Luke's life - just because there was no mention of Nakari doesn't mean she didn't exist at that time, whether or not she and Luke were an item. She could have made an appearance in a subsequent novel, or Rebels, or the comics - she could have become a recurring character, showing up when the Rebellion needed her, or - heaven forbid - even have her own comic/book/show! Her existence in Star Wars canon didn't need to begin and end with Luke Skywalker, merely to service his plotline and backstory and abandoning the richness of her own.
No, the only reason Nakari had to die was to facilitate this:
It was a blow to the gut, realizing what that sudden absence meant. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I had felt Nakari's life snuffed out through the Force, and into that void where she had shone anger rushed in - anger, and a cold sense of raw power and invincibility...I took a step to join in the hunt but stopped, breathing heavily, unaccountably sweating even though I felt so cold inside and the power of the Force roiled within me... I shook with emotion and power, and none of it felt the way the Force had before...I saw what kind of space it was , a black hole that would always be hungry no matter how much I fed it. I might never feel warm again if I didn't get myself under control.
Luke feels the dark side and is tempted by the boost of power it offers him, but immediately identifies it as dangerous and unnatural. I can understand why Hearne wanted to include this - it is a book of firsts after all: Luke's first solo mission, his first time using telekenisis, and ending with story with his first experience of the dark side makes sense. But it wasn't necessary, which leads to:
2. How to push Luke to touch the dark side without killing someone he has romantic feelings for?
Also, obviously, shite of the bull (or nerf, if you prefer). Even if this brush with the dark side was absolutely necessary for the novel's climax, there's any number of ways it could be achieved. At this point, Luke is fresh from losing important people in his life - Owen and Beru, Ben, and Biggs - lumping another death on top of that a narrative trick for Luke to react not only to losing Nakari, but the others as well. But it's cheap, the first card in the deck, and why not show a bit of imagination? Luke is young and inexperienced enough at this point that any number of things could be the catalyst - the whole book he's struggling with his growing powers, why not try and reach too far in the firefight with the bounty hunters, his anger and frustration with himself in not doing enough trigger the dark side temptation? It would work thematically and doesn't involve a fridging that ultimately has very little payoff.
Because Nakari is killed less than ten pages from the end of the book - afterwards Luke grieves, but ultimately chooses to honour her memory and be grateful for what he learned with her, recommitting to becoming a Jedi. It's all very surface level, and once again a female character's death facilitates a male character's development. Was it so imperative that Luke lost someone he cared about as part of this story? Sure, this was a time of galactic civil war, and it's far from unrealistic that these stories have a high body count, but who to make collateral damage remains an authorial choice, and in this case Nakari Kelen was (a) a female character of color, (b) a love interest of the protagonist - not just of this book, but the entire Original Trilogy.
I don't know to what extent (if any) race had to play in the decision. I'm sure there was a segment of the fandom absolutely livid that Luke Skywalker kissed (and maybe had sex with) a black woman. Was her death LFL hedging its bets, or demonstrative of the general lack of attention/respect they show their characters of colour?
In any case this was a chance to stand out from the old EU and it's fridge full of Luke's dead girlfriends, but instead they chose to introduce and kill off Nakari for the sole purpose of Luke's manpain and character development, and that's gross.
And then there's this:
A grisly yet reliable fact about custom bounty hunter ships is that you can always count on them to have body bags stashed somewhere for the easy transport of their kills. They often have built-in refrigerated storage, too.
NAKARI IS KILLED AND LITERALLY STORED IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING.
I really hope this was unintentional on Hearne's part, because yikes. He was halfway there, this book was full of interesting female characters who had agency - Drusil in particular was a delight with her super math and inability to understand human interaction. Nakari was full of life and fun - capable but relatable, showing a different side of the Rebellion and those that suffered under the Empire's rule. Fridging her in her first appearance is considerably more vile, because it reduces her to a footnote of Luke's story, a plot device to Help Him Grow, rather than a springboard to tell more of her own story.
Because Nakari was a compelling character ripe for spinoff potential. I would absolutely have read or watched her continued adventures, juggling missions for her father's Biolabs company and trying to aid the Rebellion, shooting her slug rifle and cracking wise, maybe even finding a way to amplify her mother's song Vader's Many Prosthetic Parts to really stick it to the Empire, or try and free the political prisoners on Kessel.
The old EU was made great by allies and enemies of Our Heroes showing up again to help or hinder them, and/or branching out into their own material. We fell in love with them, and followed their stories even as they diverged from the main saga, eager to read more about their lives.
Nakari Kelen never got that chance. In many ways, she exemplified what Disney Star Wars was to become: an exercise in wasted potential.
#star wars#star wars meta#heir to the jedi#nakari kelen#luke skywalker#fridging#it's cold in that fridge#star wars expanded universe#nucanon
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Coward
Draco Malfoy x Gryffindor!reader
Word Count: 3,2k
Type: mid fluff and mid smut
Summary: you and Draco are in your fifth year and you are both appointed prefects of your own houses. One night you have to inspect the halls together and your rivalry soon shows up.
Characters: Draco Malfoy, Reader (y/n)
Warning(s): maybe some cursing
Author’s Note: I’ll probably write the second part, tell me what you think about it
You had been appointed prefect at the beginning of the year.
It was fresh in your mind the memory of that day of July when your letter from Hogwarts had been delivered to you and you discovered Principal Dumbledore had wanted you as prefect of your house. You cried and your parents, who had never attended Hogwarts, were just as happy as you were. On the train you sat together with the prefects of all the houses -well, the Slytherins were missing-, before meeting your friends in your usual carriage. You were having a great time; the year couldn’t have had started better.
Then you became aware that your fierce rival was prefect too.
Draco Malfoy walked with such an arrogance and disdain for all the students around him that you found it very difficult not to punch him in the face when you accidentally met him once got down from the train, “I didn’t know Mud-Bloods could become Prefects. This is so pathetic”, he scoffed at you while staring intensely at the pin on your black cloak, “My father will want me to leave the school after hearing this”.
“Maybe this is our lucky day”, you murmured -not so lowly- to your friends while the four of you turned your backs at Draco and his arse-kissers and started made your way to the carriages -which will have brought you up to the castle.
The night of your first shift patrolling the hallways of the seventh floor you found out that you were supposed to share your job with none other than Draco Malfoy himself.
That year it seemed like he had made his only purpose to insult you and his insults were becoming crueller as the days passed. You had never answered him, neither did you wanted to play his game and maybe risking of getting caught by one of your Professors arguing with Mr “My-Father-Will-Hear-About-This”.
Then one day he dared insulting your parents and at that moment you lost it.
You were walking down the hallways, almost running as you didn’t want to be late for Transfiguration with McGonagall. You saw the door of her classroom still open -sign that probably the lesson hadn’t started yet- so you hurried, but about six feet before the doorstep of the room three people blocked right in front of you.
You didn’t have to raise your gaze as you recognised the boy in the middle by his expensive, made-in-Italy, black shoes. You huffed and looked dead straight in his eyes, without caring of the other two at his sides.
“Look who’s here” Draco Malfoy smirked, giving you an amused look as he took out a jotter from the pocket of his cloak, “Dearest Y/N Y/L/N is late for her lesson. As a prefect I should you to the director of m-“
“Malfoy, have you forgotten I’m a prefect too?” you pinched your nose and took a deep breath, “This isn’t in your power so, if you move, I won’t be actually late for my Transfiguration lesson”.
Crabble and Goyle oohed and turned to look at him. Meanwhile the Slytherin Prince was staring at you at loss of words; in fact, that was the first time you ever spoke up to him. In the previous years you could barely hold his stares, let alone reply to his mean jokes. And you didn’t think you would have been able to do it, until it happened.
There you were, in front of Draco Malfoy -probably the person you hated the most-, raised chid, your back straight, and eyes fixed on his own.
“Tell me one thing”, he started with an inscrutable expression on his face, “do your parents recognise you when you go vising them at St. Mungo?” he stopped exchanging a smirk with his friends, who still hadn’t dropped their shocked faces, and then added: “Wait…do go visiting them, right?”
All of a sudden McGonagall’s lesson didn’t matter anymore, what you wanted to do was to remove that smirk from Draco’s face. It all happened within a couple of seconds; you quickly approached him, and your knuckles collided with his perfect nose.
You tried to avoid him the best you could or the following days, but on Saturday night the news of guarding the hallways with him got to your ear and you hated the idea of spending with him an entire hour.
However, that night, you got out of your dorm and crossed the silent Gryffindor common room, only to find yourself at eight o’clock before the Fat Lady painting. The lights were a bit softer than that afternoon, but it was still clearly visible in the hallways. Your turn would have begun in less than five minutes and you were supposed to meet up with Draco at the edge of the stairs.
When you reached the stairs, the platinum-headed boy was already there, back-resting against the cold marble.
“Weren’t you eager to see me tonight, Malfoy”, you pointed out succeeding in remaining serious. You didn’t glace towards him either; he didn’t reply to you immediately, but you were sure he would have made a joke about your looking later that night.
You kept walking before him, never turning to give him a look or to make sure he was still following your steps. In turn, you carefully inspected every room, assuring there was nobody inside them, and so nobody outside their dorms. Once you were done on the seventh floor, you both agreed on going downstairs and helping the two prefects from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.
“We were supposed to inspect the dungeons, too. Can you inspect them?” the Hufflepuff boy kindly asked us, looking dead straight at your direction, without even acknowledging Malfoy’s presence next to you.
You nodded and without any further questions you left them and walked towards the stairs.
“Cowards”, it was nothing more than a whisper, but it came straight to you ears -since there wasn’t anyone else in the hallways. Draco saw you turning your head around and focused your attention on him, “What? That’s what they are”.
“They’re not better than you, Malfoy”, you said in a cynical tone, keeping your eyes on the end of the staircase. Once you took the last step, you suddenly came to a stop when you realised you didn’t know which way to go.
Draco watched as you turned your head towards him and with your eyes you asked him to take the lead, “Not much of a know-it-all are you now?” his typical smirk quickly found its way on his face, while he guided you towards the dungeons.
The situation seemed to be inverted by the time you were patrolling the hallways in the dungeons. You remained silent as you switched your head right and left, having a quick look here and there as you kept peace with Draco.
“You see, Slytherins do respect the rules, especially when we know with who we are dealing with”, the platinum-headed boy observed, not looking towards your direction as he spoke, “You, Gryffindor, instead, don’t know when to stop”, he said in a scornful tone.
“That’s why you’ve got sorted into Slytherin in the first place”, you whispered more to yourself than to anyone else, but, as it happened more than half an hour before, your partner heard you -since you were the only two in the hallways.
“And what is that supposed to mean?” Draco halted his walking and turned his attention to you, still behind his back, “D’you think you’re better than me and why? Because you’re a fucking Gryffindor?” his tone had increasingly lowered in the last few minutes, up to the point that he was no longer whispering but he was full shouting at your direction.
Everybody at Hogwarts knew how moody Draco Malfoy could be sometimes. No news.
“You’re wrong Malfoy. I don’t think I’m better than you. I know I am better than you, even if I would have been sorted into Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff, maybe also Slytherin.”
“Oh, really?” he was now approaching you, step by step, his eyebrows furrowed, and his lips curled in an arrogant smirk, “So, you know you are better than me”, he forced you to take a few steps back as he wasn’t showing signs of giving up on the topic, “How can you state that? When you got to know me so well?”
“Draco Malfoy. The Slytherin Prince, who’s also daddy’s boy. ‘My father will hear about this!’ Isn’t this your phrase?” you perfectly replied his voice, mocking him. You laughed slightly as he kept you pushing in the hallways.
You were turning your back at the door of the Potions class, so you couldn’t imagine where Draco was knowingly taking you. You hit your thigh against a cold and hard object, which you recognise being a chair only after acknowledging your surroundings.
In a swift motion, Draco had you locked inside the classroom, “Now, we have all the time to talk about me...and you”, he put his wand back in the pocket of his trousers and sat down with legs astride on the nearest chair he had found.
There were a few seconds of silence between the two of you –during which you took a sea right in front of him, your right leg crossed over your left.
“What do you want me to ask you, Malfoy?”
“I am sure there are a lot of fantastic things that can come out of that pretty mouth of yours.”
You parted your lips, left without words after what he had said, because certainly he wasn’t referring to words. You could never think of finding yourself in such a situation with Draco Malfoy –one of the people you despised the most within the walls of Hogwarts.
“Be careful, Y/L/N, if you keep your mouth open, I will close it. One way or another”, he rested his chin on his crossed arms over the seatback. His grey eyes were fixed on you and followed each movement of yours, never really letting his guard down.
“Oh yeah, and how would you do that?” you perfectly knew where your question would have led you, but at that moment there was something inside your brain telling you to ask him that damn question.
“I have several ideas, though I can’t put into practise the half of those”, Draco said running a hand through his hair, and, after that gesture –which you found extremely seductive-, some platinum locks fell onto his forehead. By the time he went back staring at you, his signature smirk was again on his face.
“Dear Draco”, for the first time since you’d even known him, you called him by his name and, although the boy wasn’t showing it, he was amazed by the way you pronounced it, “You aren’t brave enough to put them into practise”, you challenged him. You took advantage of him being confused and quickly got up from your chair, “Now, excuse me, but I think I will head back to my dor-” you were giving him your back while you talked, so you couldn’t foresee him getting up and reaching out for your wrist.
Draco had you pinned against the door of the classroom within only one motion. Your back sticked completely at the hard, wooden-made door, and your breathing froze almost immediately. Each time you breathed, you inhaled Draco’s expensive cologne and his green-apple scent, right in your nostrils.
“Insult me one more time…” Draco left the sentence unfinished and his piercing grey eyes moved from your own eyes to your lips, meanwhile you kept your eyes on his face, “…and I will no longer respond of my own actions”.
You tried to keep it together, but his expression and his voice tone made it impossible for you to remain serious, so you broke into laughs and closed your eyes in the meantime, “S-sorry”, you tried to say in-between the giggles, “B-but I can’t take you seriously”, and you chuckled. Again.
Draco lowered his gaze on his shoes and let himself go to a snigger, which shook his entire body, “You really like troubles, don’t you, Y/N?”
“And you think you are trouble, don’t you?” you mocked him holding his gaze, as you ignored -not so well- the shivers which went down your spine as he pronounced your name, “I’m sorry I have to be the one to tell this to you, but you’re far away from being an outlaw, Draco Malfoy”, you didn’t have to add anything else, because you made it clear earlier why you didn’t think he was the first of the ‘criminals’.
There was a moment of silence, during which Draco considered on freeing you from his pressing grasp, yet there was a part of him that had wanted you pinned against a wall, at his mercy, for so long and it make it harder for him to just let you go.
Your pink lips -still parted- seemed so tempting and your hot breath crushing against his neck decided for him, and against the part of him which suggested him to behave as a man and release you. He stepped closer, now no more inches separating the two of you, and laid his fee hand on your waist.
Your breath stuck in your throat as you watched him fill up the remaining space between the two of you. His lips crushed against yours and his strong scent flooded your nostrils almost at the same time his hands went grabbing your thighs. You could no longer feel the floor under your feet, and only then you realised Draco had picked you up and he was now walking towards the other end of the classroom.
His kiss was harsher than when you’d started, it was rough and wet, and you spotted a hint of hunger in it. It wasn’t like anything you had experienced before. Draco Malfoy wasn’t like anyone you had met before.
You moaned into the kiss when he took you bottom lip between his teeth and dunked them into your flesh, even if without make you feel actual pain. Your fingers quickly found their way to the hair at the back of his neck and pulled them a little. Your lips separated only for seconds, just enough time to look into each other’s eyes and you heard him saying: “Now, I’m not that much of a trouble, am I?”
You huffed in response and rolled your eyes, before going back staring at him, “I’ve never said I don’t like troubles, have I?” you tilted your head to the left and smirked, “You aren’t that smart, Malfoy”.
“Quite the contrary, actually”, Draco moved his hands lower on your legs with a gentle touch which had you shiver and rested them on both your knees, before wrapping them under his fingers and pushing them around his waist. Now you were completely adhering to him; your most inner parts close to his -the closest they had ever been. “I perfectly acknowledge the way I make you feel”, he placed his lips on the base of your neck, after having unbuttoned the highest part of your blouse, “The things you feel, and where you feel them”, he whispered to your ear, his hot breath again against your cheeks made you let out a moan. He put a little distance between the two of you and smirked, “Look at your body, craving for me to play with it, hoping for me to pay even the slightest attention to it”, Draco’s ring brushed against your skin and he enjoyed you squirming your eyes as the cold hit you, “You cannot hide it from me, darling. You want me as much as I do want you”.
You opened your eyes wide as the words left his mouth, your body became tense, and all you did was just stand there in silence looking straight in front of you.
You couldn’t deny the fact he had stated the truth: you wanted him. Since you came back at Hogwarts in September, you found it hard not to focus on his platinum head, rather than his grey, piercing eyes, or his
pinkish, juicy-looking lips as they curled up in a grin or folded in a smirk. Therefore, it was impossible for you to tear your eyes away from the young Malfoy. And he harassed you not only during the day, but mostly at night when you dreamt of him doing things -a lot of beautiful, yet sinful things- to you. Though him being Slytherin and you being Gryffindor, undeniably there was something very attractive of him that made your stomach writhe whenever his eyes laid on you or, like in that moment, his hands were on your body.
What you could have never imagined was Draco reciprocate your feelings.
Could those be considered feelings as well?
“W-what?” you mumbled while his lips kept working on that particular spot on your shoulders, which happened to be your soft spot. You grabbed him by his arms and put a sizeable distance between you and him, “Draco, what did you just said?”
The platinum-haired boy tilted his head to the side, mocking your action of no longer than minutes ago, and said: ”You heard it right, love”, he grinned at you biting you bottom lip when he used that nickname for you, “I want you so badly”, he came back whispering next to your ear, “And I know you want me as well. Do you think I’ve never noticed your eyes on me, or how your cheek would become red every time I give you a quick look?” he left a trail of kisses on your jawline up to the collar of your skirt. He stared at your red-and-gold tie and wrapped it around his fingers, “I can stop”, he seemed to let it go as soon as he had taken it between his hands, but then he continued: “Or I can go on. For hours. But…only if you want”, his hands went for grabbing the furthest end of the desk you were currently sitting on, and he violently bumped your legs with his pelvis.
You weren’t wearing any tights to keep you warm, so you could feel his growing boner rubbing against your inner tight, and you moaned at that gesture, throwing your head backwards.
“Did the cat got your tongue, honey?” he moved one of his hands to your face and rubbed his thumb over your lower lip, kissing it shortly after, “Tell me; what do you want?”
“You, Draco. I want you”, you said out of breath and whimpering under his touch, craving for him to give you more of it. Draco was right: you wanted him very badly.
“And how do you want me?” he knew better than anyone else which buttons to press in order to tear answers away from you.
You swallowed with difficulty and stared into his grey eyes: “I want all of you, Draco. Please, fuck me”.
Tag List (still open):
@iam-fucking-batgirl
#Draco Malfoy#draco lucius malfoy#draco x reader#draco x y/n#Draco#draco malfoy fluff#draco malfoy angst#draco malfoy smut#draco malfoy x you#draco Malfoy x female!reader#Gryffindor#hufflepuff#ravenclaw#gryffindor!reader#draco malfoy imagine#Harry Potter
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once upon a december
summary: you had no idea who you were, how you got to where you were, or even your real age. all you knew was that you needed to go to auren, and something there would help you find the family that you always secretly craved. little did you know, you’d find family far before you actually got to auren.
warnings: backstory vibes, incorrect stitching and terribly incorrect making of clothing as usual with this one,
word count: 3.7k
part three!
Sam was a man who was rarely unprepared, and it was becoming increasingly obvious to you. He had already anticipated the group’s need for clothes, so he had plenty of fabric and told you that you had free reign over it, and you doubted that you had smiled bigger all year.
You sat on his furniture with your legs crossed as you meticulously embroidered a coat for yourself, smiling gently as you wove the thread. The fire was warm next to you as you worked quietly and diligently, an air of peace settling in the room that wasn’t broken even when the men came busting back in after they checked on the horses.
“I finished your pants,” you mused lightly. You tilted your head towards the short pile of folded clothes and then looked up at Steve and Bucky. “I think I got the measurements right.”
“I’m sure you did perfectly,” Bucky said.
“I can do yours next if you want, Steve.” He looked at you for a second, then you saw him nod his head sharply before turning on his heel and walking right back out of the doors, like he was never there in the first place.
Your mouth dropped open a bit at his blatant rudeness, and how it had been going on the entire time you two were acquainted. “Why doesn't he like me?”
Bucky looked taken aback. “He doesn’t not like you, Y/N.”
“You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings, Bucky. I know he hates me.” He winced.
There was a moment of thick silence as Sam came back into the room, not sensing the awkwardness until he opened his own mouth and then shut it, getting ready to listen to whatever the other knight was about to say. “I’m afraid you remind him—me too, really— of the girl he used to know,” he said softly, the heat of the fire warming your skin. “The three of us used to be close.”
“How close?”
Like he was sifting through memories and thinking of the ones you were allowed to know and not know, he was silent and in his own head for a moment. “Let’s just say that Steve is the strongest person I know, and he’s still broken up about it. And it happened years ago, five-or maybe six-now.”
“They were best friends?”
“Yes,” James, or Bucky, confirmed. “They were close to the point that everyone who knows Steve knows that had the timing been right, he and that girl would have been much more than friends.”
You made a face that signaled that you understood. You looked into the fire for a moment, and then tilted your head in thought. Steve hated you because you looked like his lost love, whatever happened to her. Besides him being standoffish and not really speaking much, he never went out of his way to be rude to you, and that gave you hope at fixing whatever went wrong. Or maybe you couldn’t fix it.
“He doesn’t dislike you,” Bucky confirmed, like he could hear your thoughts churning. “He just doesn’t know how to speak to someone who looks so much like… her.”
“Do we really look the same?” You asked, still staring into the fire, even when you felt Bucky’s stare come onto your face, eyeing your side profile.
“Yes, actually,” He said, and you nodded. “You look eerily similar to her. And even some of the things you do…” he trailed off, shaking his head. His hair bounced softly with the movement, and you briefly wondered how he kept his hair so healthy.
“What… what happened?”
His eyes widened momentarily, almost like he had heard you ask the most obvious question on the planet. “What happened to Steve?” So, everyone on the planet knew what exactly happened to Steve Rogers, then.
That was a question for another day. “What actually happened to her? Alexandra, right?”
“Ah,” He said, looking towards Steve, who you could see through the open door gathering wood for the fire. “I can’t tell you that.”
Your mouth got ahead of your brain, and before you knew it, your tone was nearing towards demanding. “Why not?”
He grimaced and leaned closer. “Because…” he trailed off when he saw Steve walking towards them again. “No one truly knows.”
For the rest of the night as you started on a thick blanket for Sam (dark blue, which he had requested after being so flattered that you even thought to make him one), you thought about the girl. And of course, Steve.
As weird as it was, you felt like Steve wasn’t who he used to be. You didn’t know him before, but behind the hard exterior was fluffy cotton. You knew that he was much softer than what he was showing you, and that he had been hardened up by the years, a sad condition that nearly everyone went through.
But how did no one know if the girl was alive or not? If she had run away or been taken? If she just skipped out and forgot to write a note? It was a mystery, and you absolutely loved mysteries. But you couldn’t even begin to imagine not knowing what happened to a best friend after six years of silence. You understood Steve’s apprehension and anger towards you then, even though looking like someone else wasn’t your fault, and you knew it. But he had a problem with you, and that didn’t make for a good trip at all.
So you were intent on fixing it.
§§
You woke up before everyone else, and you did it on purpose. You were supposed to be heading out within a few hours, and the headstart gave you plenty of time. You had fallen asleep on the couch and woken up with a blanket tossed over you, and you guessed that Bucky did it. You stood up, got your dry shoes on, went out to the horses, and then went to look at the hunting weapons.
You didn’t know how to use any of them. At all.
“Okay, which one am I most likely to get lucky with?” You muttered, and then your eyes rested on a nicely polished bow and arrow. “Okay, attack from afar, sounds like a good plan.”
You had no idea what Steve’s love language was, but you wanted him to know that you weren’t there to haunt his memory. You were sure that he was the type to be glad to see someone had done something for him, though, so you were going to go with that. You were going to kill the day’s game for him.
You hoisted yourself up on the horse that was oddly familiar with you and didn’t make a sound other than a pleased, chortling noise and went on your way, bow and arrows strapped to your back.
When you saw the first rabbit after half an hour, you nearly fell off of your horse. Your breathing hitched and you quietly set up the weapon as best as you could, feeling it slide into place, and then, something in your mind just clicked. Like an itch that you didn’t even know had been scratched. You breathed in, breathed out, pulled back and let it go, only for you to miss by about an inch. The rabbit took off.
You groaned.
For the next three animals you saw, the outcome was the same. You would get irritatingly close, they would run, and you never saw that one again. You were honestly pleased with yourself for getting so close, but you couldn’t give yourself any praise until you got something.
There was a noise from behind you, and then your bow was cocked and you shot right at the squirrel behind you, hitting it right in the center and killing it instantly. You put a hand over your mouth when you realized that you had actually gotten the animal, and you did a little dance as you rushed over to it, taking the arrow out.
“Thank you so much, little buddy. You won’t go to waste.” You grimaced as you put him in the little bag that you brought, closing it up and praying that the smell wouldn’t smack you in the face when you opened it again.
On your way back, you ran into a rabbit. You shot at it, hit it, and then got off of the horse to get it and put it in your bag, wiping off the bloody arrow in the snow. “Thank you, bunny.” You were about thirty minutes away from reaching the house again when you saw something brown move out of the corner of your eye. You stopped the horse and it stomped its foot, but that didn’t phase the deer that was about twenty feet away, just staring at a tree.
You were shocked. The Goddess of the Hunt, whoever she was, was really looking out for you. You had so many chances in the beginning, and now you had an opportunity to go for a deer? It was big enough to last the four of you days, if you were smart with it. You looked at your bag that was tinting red, and you grimaced at it.
Did you have enough as it was? Yes. Had you always been greedy and a little ambitious? Absolutely.
You sighed quietly to yourself, shaking your head at your own antics. You had the bow in your hands, the arrow pulled back, and then you hesitated.
You really didn’t want to have the deer hurting for any longer than it had to. You wanted it to be so fast that it didn’t even feel it, really. You breathed in and out steadily as you tried to think about where the heart of a deer would be at, and then you thought about going for the head. That would almost guarantee a quick death, and you knew where its brain was at. But it was a smaller target.
Come on, you just hit a squirrel, you said to yourself inside of your head, breathing in and out again to focus. You had to get this deer. They were scarce around here, and you knew that it would solidify a friendship between you and Steve.
You didn’t know why you craved it so much, only that you did. And you usually got what you wanted, if you could help it.
You aimed for the head, and it was standing still, not even taking notice of you at all. That was good. You took another steadying breath, cocked it again, and then let it go. It whistled in the air for only a few seconds before plunging right into its head, and you watched it fall to the side, dead instantly.
Your jaw slacked and left your mouth open. You blinked once, twice, three times, and then you shook your head and got off of the horse, who was making noise now at the sight of you getting big game. You walked towards it slowly, as if you were afraid that it was going to come back and get you. “How the hell am I going to get this back?” You muttered to yourself after looking at just how big it was.
You felt weird about picking up an animal that big while it was dead, and you almost gagged at the thought of handling it. But you had no choice. You killed it, so now it was your responsibility to take it back and make use of it, because you weren’t wasting any animal like that.
“Okay, bud, work with me,” you said as you prepared to lift it on top of the horse, knees buckling with the weight of it at your first try. “Fuck.” You muttered. You grunted again as you used all of your strength to put the deer on the horse, laying it across so that it took up all the room sideways. You’d have to walk. “Alright. Now, to the cabin.”
The walk back was silent. The sun was high up in the sky now, and you had no doubt that they had woken up already. They were usually up before you were, gone for a second and then back within a few minutes.
You walked past trees that you had seen before on the way out, and it reassured you of your good sense of direction. You hummed softly to yourself as you started to hear shouting by familiar voices in the distance, their panicking somehow now hitting you like it was hitting them.
Your steps were bouncy as you came out of the tree line, a smile on your face. You saw Bucky whip his head around and stare at you with wide eyes. “W-where were you?”
Your smile dropped. “I went outside.”
“You can’t just leave like that,” he said exasperatedly, rubbing his hand with his face. “You’ve got Steve going feral.”
Despite the news of him being angry, your heart jumped at the thought of him seeing what you had worked hard for. “Where is he?”
“What the hell is on the horse?” He asked softly, stepping forward. His face fell when he finally allowed himself to recognize the large animal. “Did you- did you buy a deer?”
You made a face. “No, I don’t have money.” You grinned when you took the bag and handed it his way. He opened it and looked pleasantly surprised at the contents. “I hunted them.”
“I’m going to go out and find her,” you heard Steve shout from inside, not angry, just telling someone- who you assumed was Sam. You frowned as you listened to him stomping towards the back door, watching him freeze when he saw you. “What the- What happened?”
“I… went outside?”
“You can’t just do that,” Steve grumbled, stepping closer to you. “Not everyone you come across is going to be a good person. Especially not when it’s barely gotten light outside, Y’N. You can’t go out by yourself.”
“You do,” you retaliated.
“Well, I’m a trained knight.” And stronger and taller than the average man in these parts, for sure, you knew, but you weren’t going to validate what he said. “And you’re a woman.”
“Yes, I happen to be that,” you said, rolling your eyes at him. You took a deep breath when you remembered what you had gone out for in the first place, and you gently took the bag from Bucky and took a step towards Steve, who was still infuriated. “I got these for you.”
His look of irritation dropped. “What?” He looked inside of the bag and it was obvious that he recognized the weapon that killed them. “You know how to shoot?”
“I just wanted to clear the air.” You said softly, taking a step back. “I know we didn’t start off too well, and we’re not too hot at the moment, either. I know you like to hunt and have food like this, so I brought you something.”
By now, Sam was standing next to Bucky, wide eyed at the exchange that you meant to be a lot more pleasant than it was going. You weren’t even focused on them, and neither was Steve. It was just the two of you in the cold, trying to understand each other and succeeding every few seconds.
“That was… very kind of you.” Steve said, his usually loud, naturally commanding voice almost as tender as yours. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I got a deer,” you blurted, and his brows scrunched together in confusion. “I don’t know how, but I did.” You saw his eyes travel to the deer, lying dead on the horse. He looked pleasantly shocked. “I hope this can, uh, fix things.”
He tore his eyes away from the deer. “I’m sorry for making you feel like the only way you could get me to like you was for you to bribe me.” You started to frown. “This wasn’t necessary, but it was very kind of you. Thank you, Al-Y/N.”
You pretended like you didn’t hear the way he was about to call you Alexandra, for his sake and yours. You smiled gently at him and reached up to pat him on his shoulder. “It was my privilege and pleasure.” You headed towards Sam’s back door just before you could see the way that they all tensed up and looked at Steve, who got paler by the second, and looked like he had seen a ghost.
§§
You had more fabric in your bag, a stronger pair of scissors, more needles, and more thread as you rode on the back of Bucky’s horse. You figured that Steve still needed his space, regardless of how much he was grateful for your efforts. He had skinned the deer and cut it up earlier, a soft smile on his face the whole time he did it.
Apparently, you were still three weeks away from reaching the other kingdom. You didn’t question it. You had no doubt that picking you up made them a little slower, anyway. That, and the fact, that you got distracted with the simplest things.
Honestly, you couldn’t help it. There were so many things that you hadn’t seen before, and something as similar as a half frozen creek excited you for that reason. White birds flying through the air and landing on the snow that matched their wings made you stop the horse so you wouldn’t disturb them. And of course you wanted to touch the hanging berries that were a bold red. You had seen everything and nothing in the world, and you were checking things off one at a time.
The days were quite boring, really. No one really spoke, and when they did, you let the men have their time. You figured that you had absolutely nothing to contribute when it came to the topic of knighthood or old battles or their favorite times where they used their favorite swords. So, you just looked at the ground and at your cloth and at the sky, the hooves of the horse marking time for you.
It was the nights that made the difference, where you grew closer to them all. It was always cold, and cold meant lonely. So, you started conversation, every night, and it would go on for hours until someone was too tired to still hear mindless or not so mindless chatter.
One night, the fifth night, you sighed and looked up towards the stars, since it had stopped snowing. “You guys are clearly from Auren.” There was no answer. “Why do you three live all the way out here?”
It was a known fact that the two kingdoms were opposite. If you were from Yuran, you never wanted to travel to Auren. If you were from Auren, it was extremely rare that anyone would leave for Yuran for anything but business. Now, for Auren knights to live in Yuran? Something was up.
The silence was thick. You decided to let it cook, assuming that one of them was going to say something, even if it was a lie. Then, you heard a heavy sigh, and then Bucky’s voice. “The three of us were exiled.”
Your heart stopped in your chest for a moment. What could they have done that put them in exile? To exile a Knight was a huge deal, and it took a lot to get through. Knights were fan favorites. “Oh.”
“We’re not criminals,” Sam cleared up quickly, and you could sense his nervousness in the dim light of the stars. “We just… had different opinions than everyone else.”
“So, you’re rebels?” You asked softly.
“No! We just did something that was unauthorized, thinking that we would succeed.”
You should have been terrified. “If you don’t mind me asking…?”
Like everyone was waiting on a specific person to give clearance to admitting their crime, you waited on an answer. It was Steve who delivered it. “We launched a search for the princess.”
You grew up in Yuran. You had the barest of knowledge about Auren, besides the fact that you wanted to go. You knew that just like in Yuran, they had a democracy. The Yuran line was the Pierce family, and the Auren line was the Starks. That’s all that you knew, really.
“Um, who?” There was silence. “I’m sorry, we didn’t really get prime education at the orphanage. And they always told us that Auren wasn’t our business, so I know nothing about it, really.”
“Well, you know about the raid of the castle, right?” When you looked lost, he gave you a look. “The huge one that happened a while back. Five years ago.”
Hadn’t you just said that you knew close to nothing? “Uh…”
“One night, about half a decade ago, the castle was raided. The goal was to kill the entire royal family, and unfortunately, they got a few of them. The King and Queen survived, but the Princess was missing. She was their only child, their adopted one at that, and so the kingdom was in distress. It was pronounced that the Princess was probably dead after weeks of no ransom notes, no boasting, no nothing. And so, the King decreed that he wanted no one to stir things up, because it hurt his heart to be full of hope and then shot down over and over again.”
You could imagine how terrible that felt. The thought of someone’s only child and heir to disappear after an attack was terrifying. Lucas was practically yours, and you couldn’t imagine that happening with you and him. You felt horrible for the monarchs that you never knew.
Bucky was speaking now. “But, Steve, Sam, and I, didn’t take no for an answer. We did it ourselves, nearly got killed, and got into plenty of fights that had mixed results. That’s how I lost my arm, by the way.” He added, and you nodded in the darkness at the bluntness of his statement. “The King caught wind of what we were doing while he was planning her funeral with no body, and he was so angry that he casted us out on the spot. We weren’t even allowed to go to the service.”
You blinked in momentary silence. “Wow.”
A beat of silence that was as painful as a dying heart’s last beat passed between the four of you. “Yeah.” It took a few seconds to craft the right sentence up in your mind, to indirectly tell them that the new information didn’t make them look like any sort of criminals.
“You… I think that what you did was very honorable.” You said quietly, and you felt the tension in the air shift to something lighter, ever so slowly. “If the Princess were to hear that you fought so hard to bring her home, I’m sure that she would be very grateful.”
“I hope so,” Sam said, and you heard him turning over on his side, a clear indicator that he wanted the conversation to be over. “I really hope so.” And so you let it rest.
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