#though my graphic skills are nowhere near the level of yours

[nuravity]

Katsuki Bakugo and Ochako Uraraka rp blogs written by Mina and Terra respectively

[bunnie-the-lighthouse]

𝒲𝑒 𝐿𝒾𝑒𝒹~

Pairing: ATEEZ Park Seong-Hwa, ATEEZ Choi San & Reader

Warnings: It’s Suggestive, My Friend. Be Careful. (It’s Kind of Long Too)

Inspiration: Not Gonna Lie, I Don’t Know. 

Basic Idea: You Are In A Polyamorous Relationship With San And Seong-Hwa, Your Guardian Angels. But... They Hide A Deep Secret. 

Type: Fluff & Suggestive

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

On your way back home you were humming a song, enjoying the tune as it was finally Friday. You were hoping to just get home and cuddle with your favorite boys -- your guardian angels, Seong-Hwa and San.

You opened the door and saw Seong-Hwa organizing the dinner table while San was nowhere to be seen. Smiling at the sight, you once again feel comfortable and recharged after entering your house. “I’m home~” you chirped as Seong-Hwa looked up at you. “Oh! Hi baby,” he smiled as you smiled back.

“Where’s San?” you asked as Seong-Hwa brought out the last plate of steak. “He’s playing online with Yun-Ho,” the raven haired angel smiled at you, “Come on, go change to more comfortable clothes and tell Sannie that we have to eat dinner,” he ushered as you nodded and went off to the shared bedroom.

Opening the bedroom door, you saw San being focused on the game. You quickly gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, catching him off guard. “Oh, _____-ie!” he squealed while giving you a smile. “Hwa finished cooking dinner, let’s go eat, okay?” you asked as he nodded.

You then changed to more comfortable clothes, San saying goodbye to Yun-Ho as he then hugged you from behind. “How was work today?” he asked as you chuckled, “Slightly annoying, but now I feel better,” you responded. Turning around, you hugged him back, laying your head on his chest.

Eating dinner was the same as always, you guys shared how your day was and everything was rather chill. Something that did catch your attention was Seong-Hwa’s eyes. 

They would normally shift color from black to a light blue that resembled the sky. This would normally occur when he felt a strong emotion from you, and when you were recounting your story of how your boss yelled at you, you did feel quite frustrated.

However, this time… His eyes didn’t resemble the sky. They blinked a dark turquoise that you’ve never seen before. It caught you off guard, but you didn’t expect the turquoise to be enchanting -- it was mysterious, deep, and full of… Desire?... You weren’t sure yourself.

You decided to let it slide, and soon after dinner you guys huddled up on the couch to watch a movie. “Hyung, should we watch Fifty Shades of Grey?” San asked as the question caught you off guard, “What? Aren’t you guys not supposed to watch those types of things?” you asked, knowing that the movie was quite graphic from reviews -- you yourself never watched it, you just read reviews.

“I’m sure nothing bad will happen,” Seong-Hwa replied as you still felt concerned. Midway through the movie, you of course felt slightly heated -- however you were sort of worried over the toxicity of that relationship, and mainly, the fact that San and Seong-Hwa shouldn’t be watching this because they are angels… Guardian Angels, to make things worst.

As you leaned your head on San’s shoulder, you felt his hand lay on your thigh, which intrigued you. He was a bit playful, but not to this level. You felt a bit more heated, a wave of desire washing over you. And as you calmed down the strong emotion, you glanced and saw how his once emerald green eyes shone a dark forest green.

Something was definitely wrong. And you couldn’t help but feel excited.

“I see that our little baby has noticed something,” Seong-Hwa suddenly spoke, making you whip your head to look at him. “Huh?” you question as you feel fear creep into your system. Seong-Hwa’s eyes shone the same dark turquoise, and rather than returning to his black marbles…

They stayed in the unusual blue.

“Hwa?” you squeaked out as he smirks, you then felt San kiss your neck from behind, his soft hair tickling you slightly. “Sannie?” you asked but quickly got shut up by Seong-Hwa’s harsh kiss. You whimper at the force, closing your eyes.

Seong-Hwa kissed you hungrily as you couldn’t help but also feel aroused by San’s soft kitten licks on your neck. "It took you some time, _____-ie," San purred out against your neck as you were still confused over what the two angels meant.

You then opened your eyes and saw how Seong-Hwa didn't have two white feathery wings behind him. His halo was also missing… Instead, he had wings resembling those of a black dragon. That is also when you felt

Two sharp teeth graze over your sensitive neck.

"Oh babygirl.. We weren't your Guardian Angels.. In the crooked world that we live in, the only things that exist are those who are evil and those who are neutral. Creatures like us.. Incubus, if you may, were supposed to come here..”

“And ruin you,” San whispered in your ear.

“Though, we disobeyed the rules, and fell for a mortal.. We fell for you, _____,” Seong-Hwa confessed as San trailed kisses from your shoulder to your neck, sucking on your sweet spot softly as Seong-Hwa cupped your cheeks.

San pulled away from your neck, looking down at the mark that he left. Seong-Hwa then rubbed your cheek with his thumbs, "We were supposed to ruin you while you slept, darling.. But you won our dark cold hearts with your peaceful and beautiful face. I felt your sorrow from your tear stained cheeks,"

"And I felt your desperation when you hugged your plushie as if it were the only object that kept you sane."

"We felt connected to you.. And we couldn't ruin you," Seong-Hwa ends as you couldn’t help but look away, freeing yourself from the older’s grasp. You stood up and left to the bedroom, overwhelmed from their sudden reveal.

On the bed you sighed, hiding yourself under the blankets. You heard and felt someone shuffling to lay down next to you, someone else then laid on your other side. “Baby girl?” Seong-Hwa asked as you peaked your head out of the blankets, you were pouting, catching the two incubi off guard as they expected you to be mad.

“I hate you two.. For lying to me.. But I also love you two.. For being next to me and keeping me happy,” you confessed, as if opening the gates, allowing the two to enter your heart. You were about to wrap your arms around Seong-Hwa’s neck, but he stopped you by pinning both of your hands above your head.

“Then.. Should San and I.. Show you a whole new world?” he asked, smirking softly while purring out in ecstasy and love. You couldn’t help but feel enchanted by his dark turquoise pearls -- nodding at his statement.

San then chuckled and used his index finger to guide your view towards him, making you peer into his forest green marbles.While he crashed his lips onto yours, Seong-Hwa took the time to start kissing your neck, creating another mark near your sweet spot, to complement San’s mark.

You moaned in the kiss, feeling more heated as San’s hands trailed down and creeped underneath your shirt, massaging your tummy softly -- the friction making you ticklish. As you squirmed slightly, San and Seong-Hwa pulled away. San looking down and imagining your pleasured face as Seong-Hwa blew on the mark, causing you to exhale shakily.

San then laughed, a bit sinisterly, turning you on even more as he unbuttons his dress shirt with one hand, the other moving his hair back. Seong-Hwa also started unbuttoning his shirt, making you feel flustered -- watching two extremely hot incubi undress.

“Oh, by the way, baby girl.. Before we ruin you, remember that we are incubi, so we are more freaky~”

“We’ll give you an experience that you won’t be able to live if you date a human. Us incubi are especially proud of our skills,”

“We’ll make you squirm from the pleasure,”

“We’ll make you scream our name,”

“We’ll make you wish for more”

… “Are you ready?” …

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hello hello! Bunnie here~

Sorry I’ve been MIA, had to focus lots on school since it’s the last quarter and I was trying to exempt all of my classes to leave school earlier :D

Thankfully, I am officially done with my sophomore year! Yaay! *Claps*

However, one sad thing is that my summer is gonna be hectic =_= so I may not be able to push out as much stuff as I’d like -- I have a summer assignment for AP Language and I’m attending an online Summer Program. 

However, I will try to type some stuff beforehand so that I still have content. 

Anyway, I present to you -- “Guardian Angels” Sannie and Ddeonghwa! :D

Did you like this concept? I did tone down the suggestive since I felt like I crossed the line a few times in the other ones. (Side Note: I did the GIFs myself, which is why the quality is kinda bad T_T)

Please tell me if you liked this! And please! Do send me a message if you have any requests! My inbox is open!

Have fun with your imagination, y’all!

Thanks for the patience and support! I’ll catch y’all next time!

[proxylynn]

Underfell: File Name not Edgy Enough #26

Chapter 26: Misery

WARNING: I WANT NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER SPOILING THINGS FOR OTHERS. THAT BEING SAID, THIS IS HOW FILE NAME NOT FOUND WOULD FUNCTION IN THE AU OF UNDERFELL. BEFORE YOU READ THIS, UNLIKE THE NICE TIME OF UNDERTALE, THIS WORLD IS KILL OR BE KILLED. THIS STORY WILL BE GRAPHIC, GORY, USE SWEARS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, AND DEAL WITH SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTERS. FOR EXAMPLE, THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE FILE NAME RELOCATED SPOOF WILL KNOW HOW I PICTURE THIS VERSION OF LYNSIE COMING TO THE UNDERGROUND. IT IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING DUMB. IT IS BECAUSE SHE CHOOSES TO END HER LIFE. SO TAKE THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT. I MADE IT BECAUSE I NEEDED TO LET SOME OF THIS EDGINESS OUT OF MYSELF. WHICH I GUESS MAKES UNDERFELL LYNSIE EVEN MORE TRUE TO WHO I REALLY AM. ANYWAY, ENJOY. ^_^

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[HOTLAND: LEVEL 2 MOMENTS BEFORE GOING LIVE]

Mettaton zooms through the air, the speed makes it hard to try to look for anything I can lock-on as a potential landmark. The worst part, I can't tell if Flowey is able to follow or can reach this far safely. Who am I kidding? Flowey has the best odds of making it around here without a scratch. Unlike my dumbass.

"THIS WILL DO."

He lands faster than expected. The shock shacks my insides uncomfortably. I gag trying to keep my stomach from flying out.

"SORRY, DARLING. I'LL ATTEMPT TO BE GENTLER IN THE FUTURE."

He puts me down, my legs buckle like a baby calf's but I manage to stand.

"N-No worries. Just...Just give me a moment."

He chuckles and gets ready to blast off again.

"SO CUTE. NOW LISTEN UP...HOTLAND IS LEVELED OUT IN THREE PARTS. WE WERE ON LEVEL ONE. THIS IS LEVEL TWO. FROM THIS ROOM, MAKE A RIGHT AND CONTINUE ONWARD. YOU'LL NEED TO REACH THE ELEVATOR TO PROCEED. THINK YOU CAN DO THAT?"

I wave at him.

"Go right. Got it. *heavy sigh* Um...Are there more vents?"

He doesn't say anything.

"Metta?"

"TOODLES!"

He blasts off and I roar our swears. Oh well. No point fussing on that. If I'm lucky Flowey will have heard my shouting and come to help me. But this room...The path leading out is glass. The land isn't connected. Flowey would have to dive deeper to find a joining point, most likely it would be too deep and the heat harmful. I need to leave and not look down. I take a step but fumble, grabbing a random signpost to stop the fall.

"Damn it...Is this what jet-lag is?"

The sign's writing makes me curious.

[Art Club: Meet here! Next meeting: October 10th, 8PM]

Huh? Wait...What is the date and time? Argh! I have no sense for time anymore. Toriel has an out-of-date calendar that she refuses to change which doesn't help and the cellphone had the closest thing to a clock yet there's no telling if it was on time.

"Ahhhh!!! I'm late!!! I'm late!!! I'm so sorry!!!"

From seemingly out of nowhere, a doughy butterscotch colored monster in a black fedora and vest comes rushing towards this spot with papers fluttering away from him. He's in such a damn hurry that he trips and ends up crashing, skidding to a stop inches from my feet.

"*grumble* Son of a..."

He picks himself up and quickly grabs what papers he can. He looks odd. I'm getting weird neck-bread vibes off him. It's probably the fedora. Maybe if he took it off and let his brown hair free...What the fuck, am I thinking like a girl? Ewww! Stupid girl thoughts! That's my once per month. No more.

"So stupid! Why am I so clumsy? I hate being such a klutz!"

Poor guy.

"Need some help?"

He flinches. Did...Did he just realize I was here?

"W-Who are you? This is my spot! Get out!"

"Whoa! Chill. No need to be so harsh, kangaroo-boy."

His eyes widen.

"Kangaroo..."

Ah...shit. I know that look by now. My blue soul comes out.

"I'M A BUTTERDRAGON!!"

[WRONG ENEMY !? begins to play in the background.]

...Fuck my life. Wait...What the fuck is a butterdragon?

[You're blocked in angrily!]

"I come here to find something to draw. And what do I find? Some ignorant bitch that wouldn't know a masterpiece if it smacked her in the face!"

Is he referring to himself?

"It's time someone taught you a lesson! Consider it a gift. Let me look in my vest!"

He spins around and swings at me with his tail. It's coated in light blue magic. Fine. I don't move. It turns orange. I jump over it. It turns blue for two more swipes before turns around.

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

"Oh! Whoops! That had to hurt! So sorry, I must have..."

He freezes seeing nothing happened to me.

"You...You're fine?"

I shrug. No point opening my mouth. He talks enough for the both of us.

[The enemy looks nervous.]

"Ummm, I...I couldn't find anything I want to give away. *softer* Not that I wanted to give you anything. *normal* Wait, wait! *laugh* I've got my notebook! I can draw you a picture in it! I'm quite the artist, you know. I'll draw you a GREAT picture!!!"

"It's not your turn."

He flinches.

"Oh...Right."

I look at my options.

[FIGHT]

[ACT]

[̴͝SP͜͞E͡L̵͜L͟͠͏]͘͢

[ITEM]

[MERCY]

What even is that button? Eh...I don't need it. Not with this guy.

[ACT selected.]

[New options available.]

[CHECK]

[SOMETHING]

What's with all the weird shit? Just be simple damn it.

[CHECK selected.]

[SO SORRY (REAL NAME, SAMAEL "SAM" D. BUTTERDRAGON) – HP: 1100  ATK: 9 DEF: -6 – This creature is definitely in the wrong time and space!]

Time and space...How the hell does he have negative defense?! That's a thing?!

"My turn!"

My thoughts are broken. He turns around to draw in his notebook, attacking once more with his tail. Blue swish. Orange swish. Blue swish. Blue swish. Orange swish. Orange swish.

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

Again he doesn't understand how I got away with no damage. Dude, I can't help that you're attack is obviously telegraphed.

[The enemy looks anxious.]

"S...sorry...The drawing didn't come out very well. Wait! I know the problem! I just have to find a better piece of paper for it!"

"I'm not sure that's how drawing works. But you do you."

[MERCY selected.]

[SPARE selected.]

"I don't want your pity."

Was worth a shot considering the way this fight's going.

"I'll settle on a draw-ing if that's better."

I emphasize the pun with a teasing wink. He gets a little frazzled.

"Uh...Don't do that again. Like...ever."

Screw it. I want to have some fun.

"Why? Are you gonna pun-ish me?"

His right eye twitches.

"Stop it."

"I have an ink-ling this is getting to you. But trust me...You paint seen nothing yet."

Getting frustrated he yanks at his hair before turning around and chucking crumpled balls of paper at me from over his shoulders. Finally, something I need to dodge that will take effort. Each toss has three balls and he does this ten times. The dude's wasting perfectly fine paper. Shameful.

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

I'm starting to think he's getting bothered by his inability to hurt me.

[The enemy looks perturbed.]

Called it.

"N-None of my papers are good enough to use..."

[SPARE selected.]

"It's not the tools. They don't create. They are but aids. It's the artist. Their skill and heart. That is key. Anyone can draw. It's as easy as breathing. But if you stress out and push too hard, if you forget to enjoy yourself...Then even what you'd call your masterpiece will never be good enough."

He looks at me funny.

"My advice, Mr. Butterdragon...Don't try to make something as others expect it to be made. Create something as you want it to be. Only then will you be happy with it. I would know. I'm a dabbler at doodling and there's something so...interesting...in being able to take a pencil and transfer an image that you only saw in your head to paper. Though I can never seem to get hands just right."

I look at my hands.

"Weird flesh sticks. Why are you so hard to draw?!"

He thinks for a moment. But then...

"THAT'S IT!!! I know what I can do!! I'll use my magic pencil! It has to be under some of these papers somewhere!!!!"

I take it he's still bent on attacking to prove he can draw. He goes back to tossing paper and by this point, I found a spot to just stand in where nothing falls near, so I wait till he's done.

"Here! I got it! My magic pencil is amazing! Everything I draw with it looks..."

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

This fight is so boring. I mean, I'm grateful to not have my ass kicked or beaten within moments of death's door, but...Is he really trying? Froggits try harder than this.

"Why aren't you hurt?!"

I cover my mouth in a yawn.

"Dude, can you let me spare you already? I need to get to level three before Mettaton has a fit."

[SPARE selected.]

He didn't like hearing this.

[The enemy taps his fingers together like jackhammers.]

"I'll show you. I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!! I AM A REAL ARTIST!!"

With pencil in hand, he scribbles into the air and much to my understanding of reality he adds two horned demons doodles to fight on his side.

[DOODLEBOG – HP: 100 ATK: 8 DEF: 999 – Art lets your wildest fantasies come to life!]

"Like I was saying...Anything I draw with this pencil becomes COMPLETELY REAL! But in your case, a little too real!"

I can't help the odd smirk that crawls across my lips.

"Finally..."

I stretch and pop some joints.

"I was starting to fall asleep. Show me what you've been holding back. Let the creativity flow!"

Both Doodlebogs launch eight doodle orbs in circle formations at me. The good news, there's room to move and enough spacing to do some fun maneuvering. The bad news...It's still freaking easy! They shoot this move twice before their turn ends. And still...

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

I'm disappointed. And so is he.

"What...How...?!"

[The enemy is confused.]

I shake my head. Seems that's all he's got. Though, to his credit, those drawings need to go. But how do I do that? Hmmm...Maybe...

[ACT selected.]

[New options available.]

[CHECK]

[DRAW]

[SOMETHING]

What's this? Oh...Oh hell yeah.

[DRAW selected.]

"W-Wait...You can't..."

I grab my soul, not sure what else I'm to use, and trace out a large cat that glows like my soul.

"Sketch-kitty, pounce the Doodlebog on the left!"

The cat does as commanded, pouncing at the Doodlebog and they tussle off the side to the heat death below. He panics.

"How dare you use art against me! Don't just stand there, kill her!"

The remaining Doodlebog fires the same attack as before but done three times in rapid secession. I harder move yes, but one that still leaves spots open wiggle on through.

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

[The enemy is desperate.]

"H-Hey now...There's no need to do anything crazy. I-I shouldn't have attacked you. That was dumb. W-We good?"

Huh...I don't know if he's being truthful. I try to use MERCY but the button doesn't push in. Something is locking it. I wonder if it's because of the doodle? Is it affecting the battle conditions? To be safe, I'll return things to how they were.

[DRAW selected.]

"You're cheating! You have to be! No one can be this good!"

I roll my eyes while tracing out a massive snake.

"Sketch-snake, put the squeeze to the Doodlebog."

It strikes with the speed of a viper and coils the doodle like a constrictor. The doodle fights back, clawing at the sketch. The sketch knows what its mission is. It throws itself and the doodle over the edge, so now it's only the two of us. He is at a loss what to do.

[The enemy uses a hypnotizing 3D-tush-wiggle attack. Smells... furry.]

I think he's freaked out and out of options. His strongest move, an insane trump card, and I not only countered it but bested it.

[The enemy is apologizing to its visions of the Reaper.]

...What?

"I've messed up. I've really messed up. Oh no. I'm so dead! No...No. I won't let you kill me."

"Dude, I'm clearly not trying to kill you."

"I won't let art die!"

"And you're not listening."

"I'll use this regular pencil! I'll use 100% of best! There is no way you'd kill the maker of such a fine piece!"

He turns around and scribbles furiously. His tail swipes quickly and paper balls fly like crazy. This creates difficulty because trying to dodge the balls is made harder when trying to either stand still for light-blue attacks or move for the orange ones. Orange tail, orange tail, blue tail, blue tail, orange tail, and blue tail. This is how he should've been going at me from the start. It's a good attack.

[HP ███████████████████████████ 27/40]

"Are you ready!? I just finished! Here's your picture!"

He's so proud of it that he doesn't even notice that he finally did damage to me. The picture is a heart.

"What do you think!? It's a representation of your deepest essence... It's great, right!?"

I don't say a word. What did he mean by that? How is a heart my deepest essence? Is it a picture of my soul and souls are the essence of life? How the fuck did he being about so much thought with a heart?! My silence has him become uncomfortable.

"... (They think my art is terrible.) Well! I'll leave you with that thought! Goodbye! See you later! Sayonara! Nice knowing ya! Hasta la vista. ... I should leave."

He attempts to leave but he freezes when I quickly grab his tail.

"Um..."

"That image...You poured your heart into and it shows. It made me think. Art does that. It makes you think and feel. You did that to me. ...10 out of 10."

His eyes widen.

"R-Really?"

I nod and let his tail go...only to get a sappy hug from the butterball.

"Thank you!"

I made his day. He was trying to kill me and is now hugging me over a compliment. I think this is over.

[MERCY selected.]

[SPARE selected.]

[YOU WON!]

[You earned 0 XP and 318 gold.]

Holy shit! I'm rich!

The battle music fades out as he lets me go. My soul returns to me.

"Did you...Did you really like it?"

I nod.

"You gave it your all. That makes it special. Keep that spirit and don't be afraid to try other styles. You'll be amazed at what you can do if you try."

"Like your animals?"

"Animals have always been easy for me. It's people that are my weak-link. Um...Can I see that pencil for a sec?"

He hands me his notebook and normal pencil, to which I make two different drawings. One, a traditional European dragon spouting flame. This is my specialty, I can make these almost with my eyes closed. But the second one is my try at an anime version of myself. I use the eraser a lot on the face, hands, and chest. It never looks right to me once I'm okay with another part of the body. Yet I know I can't spend ages on this so I hand it over when I believe it looks okay.

"See what I mean now?"

"What are you talking about? These are great."

"Exactly..."

He's confused.

"Even when it's good, I still think I suck. But it's that negativity that spurs me to try harder. One day, I shall get those parts down and be happy with it without erasing whole bits out of frustration or doubt in ability. So...yeah...Keep those. Let them help you. Inspire you to be better in spite of others and yourself. Refuse to give up. And never surrender."

He gives me a funny look and I rub the back of my head with a nervous laugh.

"Heh...I have no idea where I was going with that. I tend to ramble when trying to be positive."

A small smile comes to him as he takes a few steps past me.

"I think I get what you're saying. If it's all the same to you...I think I want to be alone with my thoughts for a bit. Might see what ideas come."

I smirk.

"Take care, buddy. May the Muses inspire you to greatness."

I leave the butterdragon to his thoughts and not look down at the glass path that must be crossed. Yet it's doing so that alarms my brain. The land is not solid rock. The land is being supported by thick metal pipes and trussed beams that don't look like they're meant to be used here. I'm conflicted, I feel safe and unease at the same time. It also doesn't help I don't have Flowey with me. I need him. I don't like proceeding without my bro. So...

"Flowey! Bro, I'm up over here! Hurry up!"

Not expecting a response, least of all right away, I aim to head out slowly in hopes that he'll catch up to me before I really need him. But the path actually branches like a 4-way intersection and I get confused. Left is probably back to level one but what's the forward path? I shrug and check it out. Not like I have a killer robot to appease because I'm on TV. Thankfully, it's an empty spot of land. Scratch that. An empty spot of land with some trash on it.

[There's an apron lying on the ground.]

Really? That scrap's an apron?

I inspect the ragged thing and find it's in better shape than it looks.

[Will you take it or leave it?]

This option leads me to believe it's a human item. Probably pairs with this frying pan. Yes, I want it.

[You got the Splattered Apron.]

...Do I wanna equip it? Ugh...I tie the apron around my waist but backwards so it covers my ass.

[You equipped the Splattered Apron.]

[You gain 11 Defense.]

[Are the splotches from food, an enemy, or the former wearer? You don't want to know. Heals 1 HP every other turn.]

Wait...Did it say...?!

[HP: 40 ATK: 45 DEF: 38]

Holy shit! Score!

"So...Does that only work in fights?"

[HP ████████████████████████████ 28/40]

Huh. Guess not. Yet it said every other turn so who knows what that counts as.

I leave to continue all while paying half-attention to my HP. 1 point healing is better than nothing, though it's gonna be a while before I'm healed completely.

It's warm on this level. Still hot but not as bad as level one. Digital cords pulsate with energy from deep down to high above me. And in the distance...a massive mechanical structure. It sits in the lava like a slumbering leviathan. Imposing, mysterious, and giving off the vibes of "STAY THE FUCK AWAY". I better not have to go there.

After a short stroll, I come upon an obstacle or, as monsters put it, a puzzle. There are two conveyor belts, one going forward and the other back towards me. The forward one has three of those thick metal pipes near it and each pipe has a switch. At the end, there's what looks to be a Tesla Coil set up to prevent safe passing. Putting the bits together is easy. I step on the belt and keep walking, flipping the switches as I go. The third flip turns the current off and I can progress.

I regret this.

Literally forty feet away I'm met by those fucking vents. However...beside the vents is a large conveyor belt made of three merged ones. That's moving at the same speed as the one I was just on. Idea time. I dash jump across the belts. Leaping just in case someone somewhere decides to mess with the speed. Lucky me, no dick moves were made and I avoided doing my scarier backup plan of climbing on the support trusses. At least the path is clear now, which is good.

The heat begins to climb as I approach pumping stacks of hot gas. It makes the air thick and hard to breathe. The sooner I get past these things the better. Part of me questions why I don't hoof it on a crawl and then I have to remind that part that the land is inclining upward so it's bloody pointless. My throat is drying out, my lungs burn, and my eyes sting even with the tears trying to soothe the pain. Even the sounds of gears grinding in the background is starting to irritate my senses. But all this just makes me strive forward more to get back to some form of normalcy. Augh...What's my HP at now?

[HP ████████████████████████████████ 32/40]

Not bad. Not bad at all.

"Keep moving, slowpoke."

My blurry eyes spy a white speck among all the orange-brown.

"Bro?"

Something wraps around my wrist and pulls me slowly, leading me like a child helps an elder cross the road. Soon the air is clear and wiping my eyes lets me see Flowey. A very welcoming sight indeed.

"Bro!"

"Good to see you too."

"How did you get up here? The land is broken."

"Not all of it. I pretty much climbed up one high point, crossed over to another, and repeat till I got here. Did you forget how nimble I can be?"

I smack my forehead making him snicker.

"Sometimes it scares me to think how you've managed to not die."

He gets a chuckle out of me.

"Same."

We move on...only to be blocked by two heavily armored guards. One is a rabbit or hare and the other is more of a dragon than butterball was. Adorning fierce, brutal, and intimidating black armor bearing the blood-red Deltarune insignia. On their helms, shoulders, and wrists are jagged threatening spikes. But the real danger that has my attention are the very large swords.

"Are you shitting me?"

"They...aren't supposed to be here."

I look at Flowey funny and he flinches.

"I mean...They don't usually..."

"*mumble* Timeline bullshit. *normal* Fuck it...Yo! Can you two move? We need to reach level three...please?"

I'm sure that saved it from all my attitude.

"Human..."

Nothing good has ever happened to me when someone says "human".

"You're late."

Oh. Well, that's different.

"For...?"

They point their swords at me.

"Your funeral."

"Really? Was that the best you could come up with?"

The rabbit shrugs.

"I thought it was pretty tough."

The dragon punches his arm.

"I told you it was weak."

"It's not like we had a lot of time to come up with something better."

"Right. All the direction Mettaton gave us was 'stall her' while he does stupid crap."

"Let's just get this over with before the Captain finds out."

They rush towards me...then stop. But not a normal stop. They're frozen in place. I look at Flowey, he's stuck in mid-sink into the ground. The hell is going on? It's as if...as if time stopped?

"Sans? Sans, is this you? Where are you?"

White noise, like static on a TV. It pierces my ears as if it were stabbing my very brain. Covering my ears does nothing to stop it. I drop to my knees.

"Sa҉ns͏..̕."

A voice barely solidifies in the sounds assaulting my hearing.

"H͞è's n̢ot he̡r͠e,͟ l͡i̡ttl͡e ͜on̴ę.̨ He ͞can'͏t ̸in̵tęr͜f̛ere҉ w̧i̧th o͝úr̨ f́u͟ņ."

I muster the strength to turn my head and am confronted by a grayed-out monster with a blacked-out face holding a smaller face in its hand. The face looks at me with a small creepy smile. My eyes widen. The face spoke. And it speaks in rhyme. What the fuck?!

"What the hell are you?"

"M̛e? I̕'҉m͠ ͡a ̨f̡o͢l͜l͘ow̵er ̡of̶ ͘the g͠rea͝t Royal͏ ͟Sc͞ien͘t͝i͝st͟,̢ D͜ơc̢tor̕ ̵W̛.D. ̵Gast̀e͞r̀.͘ On̵e day͞,̨ h́e ͝va͝n͞i͡sh̀e͜d͘ w̷itḩou̕t̡ a҉ t́r̶ąc̛e.͝ T̛hey͞ ͠s̡a̢y҉ ̷he ҉s̡hat̕te̶r̷ed ͝ac̛ross̡ ti҉m͠e̴ an͘d̢ ҉s̨pac͘e. Ha H̷a͞.͝..̡ho͠w ̧c̸án I͞ s͠ay̢ s̸o͏ wit͟ho̴u͘t ͘f̶e͟a̸r͘?͝ ̸I'm h̸o͜l͘ding͞ a ̴p̵ie͘ce҉ ͜of̡ h͡im ̶r̶iģht͢ ͢her͞e."

This...This shit right here triggers something primal in me...I get genuinely freaked out. Fleeing like a puppy that just met the big noisy vacuum for the first time. And yeah, this was an overreaction. I've dealt with some insane shit at this point, you'd think I'd be hardened like a soulless speck of dirt. But no. That made me too unsettled and any tough wall I had crumbled. I zoom past the few other frozen in time monsters along the way till I reach the elevator. I spam hit the button, praying it will ignore the fact time is dead and let me in something that I can pretend is safer than out here.

*BING*

A sound other than static? There is a god!

The doors shift open and a grayed-out bird monster with terrible posture along with a grayed-out small humanoid monster stop me in my tracks.

There is no god!

"D͏r.̡ G̴as͝t̶e͠ŕ..͝.͡H̛i͞s brìllia͢n͝cé w͡a҉s̸ ͞irr̷e̶p͞l͞ac͢eabl̨e̶.̷"

"҉W͢hat͏ a̡n ��áct to ̴foll̕o҉w͟! T́h͘e̷y ̨s͠ay̨ ͏h̶ę c͢r̨eat̛e̴ḑ t͜h͜e͜ ͞C̕O͜R̷E̶."

"Hoẁe͘v͢e̕r, h͜i͏s ͞life҉..͝.̸was ͠c͡u͡t s͘hort."

They say ominously together.

"O͡ne̕ ͟d́a͢y̕,͝ h̵i͟ś ҉ex̵pęri͜m̨e̵ntś w̧ent̡ ̸wr̢on͜g̢, ͡an̡ḑ..̀."

"He̴ fe̸l̢l̡ ̕i͞n̴t͜o ̀hi̵s͡ cr̷eat̀i͢ón̢."

"Węll,̴ ͝w̡e҉ needn̨'͡t͠ gos̕s̕i҉p.̧ A̷f͢t͠e͟r al̵l͏,̷ ҉i̸t'ş ̧rude to ̀tal͡k̨ ab͏o̢u͠t̛ s҉o̵me̢o͘n҉è w̛h͢o̕'s l̷i̕s͢te̡n͢ing.̸"

They grab me and pull me in before my body chooses to run.

"*snarls* Let go you creeps!"

"D̵o̵n't ̕st͠r̴ưg̷gle̵,̧ l͡i͞t̕t̛l҉e o͟n͡e.́"

"̸Yo̷u ͝d͞o͠n͏'t̴ w͡an̸t ̴harm to co͢me̛ to̷ ̡t̀h̢e̵ flo͜wer͞.̡"

Oh fuck...I left Flowey with the creepy face-hand thing. I cease my fighting.

"G҉o͡od͞ ̷ģir̡l."

The doors shut with a quickness.

[SNOWDIN: Skeleton House in present time]

They watch as the human and flower are confronted by the two Royal Guards. And of course, they do as they've been trained. Attack the human. But something weird happens. The guards begin to attack and the screen of the TV glitches into static before the picture returns. Only now the guards have stopped their action and the flower, which was retreating from danger, pops back out in confusion along with everyone else. The human is gone. It happened within the blink of an eye. One second she was there and the next she's not. And now the screen cuts to a "We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties" image. What is going on?

[HOTLAND: LAB]

Undyne and Alphys are equally as perplexed as everyone else that's tuned in.

"Alphys, where did the human go?"

Undyne irritatedly asks through her teeth. On her end, Alphys is switching through camera feeds like crazy.

"I'm looking! I'm looking!"

The screen swaps from camera to camera and multiple different angles. But there's nothing. Sure, there are monsters. Some just going about their lives. Some slacking around. Even an embarrassing shot of a Pyrope shoving a sandwich into the top of a Vulkin. But no sign of the human on level two.

"Where are you, damn it?!"

"Stop!"

Undyne's shout makes Alphys jump.

"Go back five clicks."

And so she does. The feed is an odd far shot from the gas stacks. It can just barely view the guards let alone the flower who suddenly ducks away. The guards seem even more confused.

"What are we looking for?"

Undyne points at the screen and Alphys sighs.

"If I can't see it on my end, you pointing from a distance does nothing for me!"

Undyne growls.

"Look up, genius!"

Alphys leers at the fish-woman before leering at the view she has on her monitor. Due to the far away placement of the camera, it can see up to the platform of level three. And there, dangling over the side, is a pale white arm that stands out over the red platform and gold LED lights scheme.

"The hell...?"

She switches to the level three cameras.

"Ha! I knew I saw something."

With the better view, they now see the human face-down just a few feet from the elevator.

"How the hell did she get up there?"

Alphys gets out her phone and sends a quick text. When there's no reply she presses a button and a moment later is sent a reply. A few messages are sent as Mettaton zooms on screen.

"What? Why's the tin can there now?"

Undyne is out of the loop as usual.

"Who else do you know can zip over there as fast?"

Mettaton pulls the human to the center of the path, away from a stupid falling to death, and checks over her seemingly lifeless body. Her eyes are open and empty as if someone replaced her peepers with billiards cue balls that glow. Marks on her arms look like bruising but weren't there before nor gained in her earlier fight. Then...Alphys gets a text.

"Hmmm..."

"What's up?"

"Vital signs are still going but her breathing has stopped."

She texts back to Mettaton.

"So...She's dead?"

"No. Not yet at least. According to Mettaton, her HP is full and not depleting. However, if she doesn't start breathing, her HP should drain and she will die."

"Then wha...?"

"Look at the TV, dear."

Undyne looks back at the screen to see Mettaton performing chest compressions in patterns.

"With her heart still pumping it means all other functions are still working. It's likely something happened in whatever event that caused her to get up there to give her trauma. The trauma probably made her brain fail to send the right signals to her lungs and thus, she's in respiratory arrest. So I've instructed Mettaton to force her body to restart her breathing manually with basic CPR."

They watch the robot press into her chest for a good couple of minutes before the human suddenly bolts up violently. Mettaton restrains the hysterical woman as the life returns to her eyes, sight restored settles her down some but she appears terribly shaken.

"Ask him if he can get her to tell him what happened."

"Already sent and awaiting reply."

Mettaton appears to speak with her but she either says very little or nothing at all. She merely holds her self in an attempt to cease her trembling and looks out at what bit of the CORE is still visible from that point.

"Huh...He says she isn't telling. At most, she said it's nothing and it just happens sometimes."

"Super vague and avoiding the subject? That kind of shit ain't normal."

Alphys agrees but it's not like they have the human in custody to interrogate for answers. She sends the text.

"The hell?"

Mettaton offers some concern and encouragement before blasting off, leaving the human alone.

"Why's he leaving her?!"

"He did what was needed. Now the show can continue as planned."

Undyne glares.

"That's twice now. You could've let her die."

"I still need more data. Something odd happened and I need to figure it out."

Undyne huffs softly.

"Fine. You know...You can only string someone along for so long before that string breaks, Alphys."

The lizard-woman chuckles.

"Worried about the human? That's cute."

"I wasn't talking about the human."

Undyne guzzles her remaining ramen and Alphys isn't sure how to respond.

"For your sake, the human better be worth all this effort."

She lifts her bowl.

"More."

[HOTLAND: LEVEL 3 BEFORE GOING LIVE]

Static. Everything is static. Static is all I see and hear. I can't feel anything. Am I dead? Is this what death is? If it is...It's incredibly boring. At least Hell would have a wicked soundtrack to drone out to while being tortured. Suddenly, I feel something. And it hurts. Like something is bouncing on my chest and pauses a bit before doing it again for longer.

Please...Leave me alone...Let me be...I don't want to go back...Don't make me go back...Please...

"*gasps and coughs*"

My lungs burn in this reawakening but my sight is still static. Purgatory. Pain before Heaven. The sins must be suffered away. This must be what's happening. Hands. I feel hands and panic, stress levels at critical. I take a swing at where I think they are.

"D̕͡oņ͟'̕͝t ̨̀͝to͝͏uch̷́͝ ͘me͘͜!̴̵͝"

There's hesitation before more force is used and I'm pinned to what I assume is a floor. I thrash harshly.

"L̸̀e͢a̡͜v̴͟͢e ͘m̵e͞ ͝al҉̀o̷̴n̴̨e̶̢!̡͞ ̡͡Ḑ͞o͝n̶͝'̨̕t ̢͏̡I ͜s̸̛u͜͜f̵͝f̷͠͝er̛ ̧e͏͜n̢o̵u҉͢͢g̶͡͡ḩ?!͏"

"CALM...I...LYNSIE."

A voice? A normal voice?

"DON'T...ME...RELAX."

The struggling I was doing ends. And as I settle down the static that had blinded me subsides. My location is unknown. But I know the one holding me down.

"M-Metta?"

Seeing I'm normal, Mettaton helps me get back on my feet yet I'm unsettled by...things.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT, DARLING? WHAT HAPPENED?"

Flashes of memory flicker in my head. Those...things...Followers of Gaster...The things they did...

I hold myself and fight the tears trying to come to my eyes. I don't say a thing.

"LYNSIE...HOW DID YOU GET UP HERE? WHY DID I FIND YOU NOT BREATHING?"

I rub my eyes.

"I need my phone. *shaky inhale* I gotta talk to my mom."

"YOU KNOW I DON'T HAVE IT. AND IF I DID, I'M STILL UNSURE YOU WOULDN'T CALL OUT TO YOUR FRIENDS."

He's not wrong. I wasn't going to call Toriel. I was going to give Sans nightmares with the shit done to me.

"NOW COME ON. YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG."

"...N-Nothing's wrong. This...This just happens sometimes."

He's not buying it. I'm doing a piss poor attempt to play off that I'm fine.

"DARLING, YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT FINE AND ABOUT TO CRY. JUST TALK TO ME. WHAT HAPPENED? YOU VANISHED FROM SIGHT AND ENDED UP HERE AT THE START OF LEVEL THREE COMPLETELY UNCONSCIOUS."

I don't say a word.

"DID SOMEONE USE MAGIC ON YOU? IS YOUR SOUL OKAY?"

I flinch at the mentioning of my soul and refuse any further interaction.

"LYNSIE...?"

I refuse to look at him. He sighs.

"IF IT MEANS ANYTHING, DUE TO TIME CRUNCHING, THE THIRD ACT WAS CANCELED. BETWEEN YOUR STALLING FROM HEIGHTS, ALL THESE RANDOM FIGHT ENCOUNTERS, AND EVENTS OF THE FIRST AND SECOND ACT...CHANGES IN THE PROGRAM HAVE BEEN MADE. HEH...ORIGINALLY, THE THIRD ACT WAS GOING TO HAVE YOU DEFUSE A SERIES OF BOMBS PLACED AROUND THE AREA WITHIN A TIME LIMIT. YET EVEN I THOUGHT THAT WAS UNFAIR. THAT AND THE SCRIPT FOR IT WAS JUST AWFUL. NO WAY AM I DISGRACING MYSELF WITH SUCH A POORLY DIRECTED SHOW."

I guess that is some good news. It's probably why he had those guards posted there to stall me.

"BUT...I DO HAVE SOME BAD NEWS."

This gets me to look at him.

"FROM HERE, IN THE NEXT ROOM YOU WILL FIND A SEEMINGLY CHARMING SPIDER NAMED MUFFET. SHE'S A CUNT."

Well, that escalated quickly.

"SHE'S THE LEADER OF THE SPIDERS IN THE UNDERGROUND AND RUNS A SUPPOSED BAKERY. IT'S A FRONT. SHE'S AN EXTORSHINISH. SHE'LL SAY AND DO ANYTHING IF IT MEANS SHE'LL GET GOLD. CLAIMS THE MONEY IS NEEDED TO SAVE THE SPIDERS IN THE RUINS OR SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THAT."

"It sounds like you don't like her very much."

"NO, NOT REALLY. I COULD CARE LESS WHAT SHE DOES. THE THING THAT PISSES ME OFF IS THAT SHE PREYS ON MY WORKERS, KILLS THE ONES THAT CAN'T PAY HER OUTRAGEOUS FEES, AND, WORST OF ALL, SHE REFUSED TO DEAL WITH ME!"

I tilt my head.

"I HAVE TRIED TIME AND TIME AGAIN TO GET HER TO SELL FOOD UNDER MY BRAND. BUT SHE SAYS MY NAME WOULD ACTUALLY MAKE HER LOSE GOLD. SERIOUSLY? THE AUDACITY OF THAT BITCH. I PRACTICALLY OWN HOTLAND AND SHE HAS THE NERVE TO UTTER SUCH SHIT!"

His screen flashes for a moment before he calms down.

"YET DESPITE THAT...KNOWING YOU AND HOW YOU HANDLE DIFFICULT MONSTERS, I'M CONFIDENT YOU CAN GET BY HER WITH LITTLE ISSUE."

"...You have that much faith in me?"

He spins on his wheel.

"WOULD YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED IF I SAY I DO?"

My dower expression answers him for me.

"WELL, IT WAS WORTH A TRY."

His wheel retracts to fly.

"WE WILL MEET AGAIN FOR THE FOURTH ACT...PROVIDED YOU SURVIVE THE SPIDERS. YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF SPIDERS, ARE YOU?"

"I was when I was a kid. I got over it."

"GOOD. YOU SHOULD BE FINE THEN."

He comes over and, to my surprise, gives me a small embrace.

"I BELIEVE IN YOU, LYNSIE."

My throat tightens, I couldn't speak even if I wanted to. He takes off and I wait for when he's out of sight to breakdown.

[SNOWDIN: Skeleton House in present time]

The "We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulties" screen cuts away. The human has been located. She appears to be on a different level and is a wreck. Down on her hands and knees, sobbing intangible pleas. Something has happened and it wasn't good.

Toriel gasps softly.

"tori? what's wrong?"

She covers her mouth and points. Sans sees it now. Papyrus even spies it before Grillby. The hands. The harsh imprints darkening the snow colored skin.

"Those marks...They would sometimes appear in her sleep. Why are they there now?"

Grillby shoots a look at Sans and he decides to get his buddy off his back.

"she had those marks while with us too. but if you look closely, these marks are different. there's no hole in the palm. plus...there are two sets."

"HMMM...AN AMBUSH PERHAPS? BUT WHAT KIND OF MAGIC CAN ALLOW FOR SUCH A SNEAK ATTACK AND THEN VANISH ELSEWHERE?"

Grillby continues to leer at Sans.

"what?"

"Sounds like teleporting to me. Anyone you know can do that?"

Sans glares.

"no. only i can teleport."

"Are you sure?"

"yeah. i'm sure. knock it off."

Papyrus cocks his brow. This might require his attention if things escalate.

"I'll knock it off when you come clean."

"i ain't hiding shit."

"Bullshit. You've been holding back so much that even your brother doesn't know just how much you do. If you don't know, then you don't know, but if one thing we've figured about you tonight...It's that you hide what you know all the damn time. So you've got to give us something better if you want us to believe you."

Sans balls his fist.

"us? or you? don't start connecting dots to points that don't exist because you want answers that no one can give to make yourself feel better."

"Then tell me who it was that hurt her before. Maybe they know who did it this time."

That line. That line got heads to turn.

"Sans? You know who has been harming my child?"

It's times like these Sans wished he was able to RESET.

"no, i don't."

"That's not what you told me."

"i only said what i did to get you off my back. ya were all upset about the marks and..."

"Of course I was upset about the marks! What guy wouldn't?!"

Papyrus snarkily lifts a finger, admitting his lack of concern but not wanting to get involved in this.

"maybe instead of pointing fingers, you should question why she didn't tell ya about'em herself. because if she doesn't even tell her mom about shit like this, what makes ya think she tells me?"

Grillby had to pause at that.

"Is it that one of them hurt you?"

"What?"

"You're ignoring them, but that doesn't make them invisible to anyone else. Did they do this? Papyrus I can believe, but I have doubts on Sans. But if they did this to you..."

"They didn't. This is a whole different issue."

"Don't defend your abuser."

"I'm not defending shit. It's my problem, I can deal with it. Don't make this a big deal."

"It is a big deal!"

"*wince* You're hurting me."

"..."

"Like I said...That's a different issue that I will deal with. Not you. Are we clear?"

"Y-Yes."

Maybe Sans had a point. Knowing how others would react keeps one from talking about such things, especially when it's not a reaction that is easily dealt with. Toriel and Grillby have proven to overreact when it comes to the human. She probably thought it best to keep such pain to herself to avoid added damage. But still...Something didn't sit right with Grillby. Sans knew something. What it was he knew not.

"IF YOU'RE DONE WITH YOUR POINTLESS BICKERING, THE HUMAN IS ON THE MOVE NOW."

Attention once more fell back to the television.

[HOTLAND: LEVEL 3]

My body aches. The crying did little to ease me. Sure I vented, that's always good. But I don't feel any better for doing so. My arms stings. My soul throbs in agony. My every nerve demands relief that will never seem to come. I look at the bruises. I can still feel their hold. I don't know how long it happened for or how long after till I was found, yet I can still feel their filthy hands. It's too much. Make it stop!

I take my gloves off and dig my nails across the full stretch of my arms. I don't care about bleeding. I just want to stop feeling their hands. The strange energy begins to crackle around me as it did once before.

[HP ████████████████████ 20/40]

It...It finally went away. That's good. Now if only the memory could be removed. Can't claw my brain unfortunately. Oh well. Perhaps I'll find something to bash my head against. Won't that be fun?

I take my leave. Flesh under my now gloved nails and blood trickling down my arms, making a trail behind me.

A few short steps have me in a more inhabited spot. The monsters here give me strange looks. Maybe it's because of the self-mutilation. Or maybe it was spine chilling wailing. Or both. Or random other shit. Either way, I keep to myself and press onward.

"Oh, yoohoo, human~..."

Ah, fuck my life with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole!

"You look like you can use some healing items. Come, I don't bite...well...maybe ONE little nibble~."

...Why do I attract the kinky weirdos?!

This is the spider-lady Mettaton was talking about. She has periwinkle or lavender skin, five eyes, six arms, and two legs. She wears red rompers with yellow buttons in the front, a red ribbon across her chest, as well as large wild twin pigtails in her black hair tied by red bows. She is also holding two teacups with her top pair of hands and two teapots with her middle pair, her bottom pair of hands hide under her little table.

"Welcome to our parlor, dearie~. Interested in some spider pastries? All proceeds go to real spiders~. Check out the webs to make a purchase~."

I'm so not in the mood for this.

"Ms. Spider..."

"No need for formalities, dearie~. Call me Muffet."

"Muffet...I'm gonna be nice yet blunt. So I apologize in advance if I tick you off at any point because that's not my intent. *shaky inhale* I have been battered, beaten, abducted, blasted, and brought near death more than usual today. And normally, I'd roll with it and let you do this 'thing' it is you're gonna do...But not now."

She opens her mouth to speak and I slam my hands on the tabletop.

"I have just spent an ungodly amount of time trapped in that elevator over there having my soul violated by people that don't even exist anymore on this plane of reality. I have clawed my skin off to stop feeling their hands on me. So, please...Not now."

I can feel that energy get stronger. The odd display bugs her yet she continues.

"My, how dreadful. That's a terrible tale you tell, human. And such a silly one to explain your disappearing act."

My eye twitches. Does she...Does she think I made that up?

"That Mettaton is certainly putting more effort into his effects for this show. It's about time too. That metal moron can't act to save his batteries."

I want to hit her.

"Anyway...Can I interest you in some of my 100% all-natural treats? Food made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders!"

...Wait a second?

"Of spiders? So...You're killing your own kind...for pastries?"

She simply smiles innocently.

"...Are they at least dead or dying ones?"

Her giggle is not reassuring.

"Go on, dearie~. Have a nice donut and wash it down with some cider. You'll heal faster than ever before. And all for the low low price of 9999G...each."

My nerves are shot. Were they always called donuts and not doughnuts? What the fuck?!

"Lady, that is the biggest crock of shit I have ever had the misfortune to step in."

All of her eyes glare at me.

"Beg your pardon?"

"This same 'bake sale' is being done by the spiders in the Ruins. Do you wanna know what the prices are there? Donuts are 7G and Ciders are 18G. Where the hell do you get off charging that much for food that works on cannibalism?"

I point at her in judgment.

"You're sick, lady! This is fucked up."

She hisses at me.

"Seems humans are awfully stingy with money. Don't know a good deal when it's in their face."

I look at her cockeyed.

"Stingy with money? Bitch, did you not hear the words coming out of my mouth?!"

She laughs in my face.

"Ahuhuhuhu...You think your taste is too refined for our pastries, don't you, deary?"

"...Sure. Whatever. You're not listening anyway."

"Ahuhuhu...I disagree with that notion. I think your taste...Is exactly what this next batch needs!"

She stares at me creepily and licks her lips.

"Oh hell nah!"

I flip the table on her and run. She's not happy.

"Get back here!"

"Fuck you!"

I look back to see if she's following and crash into a guy.

"Hey, watch where you're going."

"Sorry. I was just..."

My blood runs cold seeing the monster I've bumped. This guy...This guy is a dead ringer for the creepy gray dude with the face in his hand. The only difference being he's in color.

"*scoff* Weirdo."

He walks to where Muffet is but I can't move. My heart begins pounding. Flashes of memory play before my eyes. I can't breathe fast enough. Gaster, for all the shit he does, isn't as bad as the Followers.

MAKE IT STOP! M̴A͝KÉ IT͜ S͢T͡O͜P!!͘ MA̡̛͜K̶͢E͝ ̢I̡͝T̡҉̧ ́͠S̷͡T͝OP̵!!̛͏! M̢̡A̸̧̛͞͝K̢̨҉É̶̡̢͏ ͜͝͡I̸̧̨̕T̴ ̶̕͞S͜͢T̵͡Ǫ͝҉��҉P̨̛͞!̶!̕͘͟!̷̨͟͝͡!̕͟

[WARNING]

[SOUL destabilization detected]

[HEARTBREAK immanent]

W͏ai̕t̸.̀.̢.̸Wha̧t doe̴s̛ t̨ha͝t ̨meàn̶?͡

[HEARTBREAK is the condition in which the SOUL will damage itself due to instability or loss of HOPE]

[There are three levels of the HEARTBREAK condition]

[Level ONE: the SOUL forms a crack, it starts small which can be healed easily]

[Level TWO: the crack on the SOUL spreads, damage taken is increased and needs intensive care to be repaired]

[Level THREE: the SOUL shatters and death accrues]

...Serious?

[Current status: PENDING HEARTBREAK]

[PENDING HEARTBREAK: the SOUL weakens and its color dulls]

[Most MONSTERS in the UNDERGROUND have this state due to a loss of HOPE which is the main trait in MONSTER SOULS]

So...I can die from my soul hurting itself because of my inability to cope with the shit that happened?

[Correct]

...Fuck. Well...I should make a last will. Because I'm gonna die.

*STATIC* DARLING? ARE YOU OKAY? YOU NEED TO KEEP MOVING.

Mettaton's voice in my ear causes the shackles of trauma to release me...for now.

I slap myself. Gotta focus. Do this and get to go home. Concentrate. Don't fuck up! The energy around me slowly dissipates.

"Human!"

Looking back I see Muffet coming at me.

"Someone's stealing from the register!"

Her concern for money outweighs her need to kill me and I use this to escape. Much to my annoyance, this part of the path ends with more of those damn vents and they of course split off into three ways, one being a big as hell closed door.

"...I fucking hate Hotland."

I sigh. Taking in the vent platforms and noting that the gap between them is the smallest size ever. No need to run, jump, or use them. I merely walk onto the next platform and can do so for all of them. I choose to take the right side first. Why not? Not like it makes a difference. It leads me to a conveyor belt that has three blue lasers. I ride it to the end without harm. I guess Metta's budget for puzzles is running low if this is what I have to deal with. This leads me to a familiar room with, what a surprise, the same shooting puzzle from the last time I had to unlock a big fucking door.

"Now this is just lazy."

I look for the instructions.

(Shoot the opposing ship!)

(You have just one shot.)

Well...Maybe that's something.

This puzzle has the blocks in a four by five state. Eleven blocks are solid and four can be moved around. The four moving blocks move all at once like they're connected. The open spaces are pretty fair if I have to give it some credit. I move to the right, up, right, down twice, right twice, down, left, down, and finally end it by firing through the clear path.

(CONGRATULATIONS!)

"Don't tell me it's the same on the other side."

I head out and take the other conveyor belt back to the vents, passing a random cactus in the process. I swear if this shit keeps up I'm going to lose my mind. No! No...I need to calm down and relax. I don't need the stress. My soul is in rough shape as is. Now it's at risk of damage without my conscious input. I wish I had my music. That would really help. Maybe a little Green Day or Linkin Park. Oh! My Chemical Romance!

*BONK*

It would seem I didn't pay attention and walked into the puzzle room, kicking the machine by accident.

(Shoot the opposing ship!)

(You have just one shot.)

"God dingle damn it bull honkery."

I hate copy & paste design. The board is larger, five by five. Ten solid blocks and six movable ones, everything else is empty space. Right, up, right, down twice, right, right/up, up/right, up twice, right, up, and fire.

(CONGRATULATIONS!)

"...I'm so sick of this crap it ain't even funny."

I shove my hands in my pockets and leave...only to see two diamond-headed monsters just hanging out, one light-purple and the other a super light-green. Did I really walk by them?

"I've been thinking about getting a sick skateboard."

"Really? That's cool I guess. ...So...What's your fave Mettaton Moment(TM)?"

"My fave Mettaton Moment(TM)? Right when everything looks the baddest, he poses dramatically. Like when he's on a cooking show and the eggs don't turn out right. But! Then he says...Even if you suck at cooking, you can always buy an MTT-brand Glamburger! Then he eats one! Everyone loves it!"

"...How does he eat it without a mouth?"

"Uhhh...well...Watch the show!"

"Well, my fave Mettaton Moment(TM) is when he beats up the heel-turning villains! Even if it's during what's supposed to be a quiz show. Oh! And I like when he tries on all kinds of different fashionable outfits! Even if it's during what's supposed to be a newscast."

I wonder if I can get a chuckle out of these two.

"Sounds like you two really know your stuff about Mettaton."

They turn to look at me, they look like teenagers based on their clothes.

"Totally."

"No one's a bigger fan than us."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah! He's currently broadcasting live. And with a Human! We can finally get to the surface!"

"On the surface, we'll be able to watch all kinds of TV...But, I bet none of those shows are as good as Mettaton's!"

"You don't say. Then...Could you describe this human? I don't want to miss seeing it."

The green one goes for his phone.

"Let me see if it's back on and we'll show you. Some crazy stuff happened and the feed cut off a bit ago."

I smile and wait for it. I can't read their faces, but it's very clear when the green one goes to his buddy and shows him the screen. Looks are shot at me. I merely give a friendly wave.

"Dude..."

"We're on TV!"

At least someone's happy about it.

"Wait...Then that means..."

"You're the human?"

I shrug.

"What...What happened to you?"

"You're like all messed up and junk."

I shrug again.

"You know...Messed up crud. Being human ain't all that and or fun. But don't worry about it. Just enjoy the show. Metta's doing his best to make it epic as hell."

I walk past them.

"Oh! Before I go...Don't copy any of the stuff aired at home. You'd probably get in trouble if you blast people for getting trivia wrong or use chainsaws while cooking."

I give a thumbs-up as I go. Vaguely hoping to look badass. With the door open it shouldn't be long till all this nonsense is over and I can go home. I wonder though...Can Flowey get up here? The floor is artificial, so I don't know if he can traverse it. I hope he's okay. Poor fella's probably losing his mind wondering where I went. Then again, he's a clever cookie and knows his way around the Underground better than anyone.

[The smell of cobwebs fills the air...]

Huh?

*sniff*

"What smells like freshly baked tarantulas?"

...Oh shit.

The room past the door is littered with webbing and spiders are dangling from the ceiling.

"...Fuck my life."

Smelling a trap I attempt to get through this room as fast as I can. But the webbing on the floor accumulates on my shoes and eventually, I'm unable to take a step. Struggling only made things worse.

"Ahuhuhuhu..."

Damn it! Damn it all to hell!!

"Did you hear what they just said? They said a human in tacky clothes will come through."

"Well, fuck you too."

"I heard that they hate spiders."

"What?!"

"I heard that they love to stomp on them."

"That is a bald-faced lie!"

"I heard that they like to tear their legs off."

"Slander! The levels of bullshit in here are off the charts!"

"I heard..."

Muffet comes down like a Charlotte's Web reject onto a large web. Smaller spiders dangle beside her and block the path ahead as well as behind me.

"...that they're incredibly stingy with their money. Ahuhuhuhu."

My fucks are all gone.

"You're mom was a hoe and ate your dad."

Her face blanks before burning with rage.

"You're fucking dead meat!"

[SPIDER DANCE begins to play in the background.]

My dull yellow soul comes out.

[Muffet traps you!]

"Oh, like this is fair. I can't move and you bring out a freaking gang. I mean, what are the damn rule anymore?!"

"Oh don't look so blue, my deary~."

She spins silk to entangle my soul then bites the end of a strand, her magic venom flows down the strand and coats the heart. Forcibly changing the trait and color.

"...I think purple is a better look on you! Ahuhuhu~."

This feels so wrong.

"Why is everyone messing with my soul today?!"

Her spider underlings draw webbing in strings in horizontal lines. These lines are also infused with the purple magic and attract my soul.

[You're trapped in a strange purple web!]

"Here's the deal, dearie~...A spider will appear to the right between each turn, holding a sign that presents the density and type of attack that will come after your turn. Now while you can't move, your pretty little soul can, and you'll have to move it along or switch between the three strings to avoid attacks. There will only be three strings. No more, no less. How's that for fair~?"

I mull it over.

"...Not bad actually. Who goes first?"

"You. I want to see what you can do."

She's a smart one, I'll give her that. Let's see my options.

[FIGHT]

[ACT]

[̴͝SP͜͞E͡L̵͜L͟͠͏]͘͢

[ITEM]

[MERCY]

That button is giving me weird vibes the more I see it.

[ACT selected.]

[New options available.]

[CHECK]

[STRUGGLE]

[PAY 10G]

Pay? Fuck that! I earned this gold. Mine!

[CHECK selected.]

[MUFFET – HP: 1250 ATK: 38.8 DEF: 18.8 – If she invites you to her parlor, excuse yourself.]

And she's better in the stat department than the butterdragon.

A spider drops down and holds a sign...It's a picture of a spider. The hell does that mean?

"Why so pale? You should be proud~."

"With the amount of blood I've lost today it would make me look like a corpse. But be proud of what?"

"Why...Proud that you're going to make a delicious cake~! Ahuhuhu~!"

Spiders begin crawling across the threads. It's like a weird form of Frogger minus hopping to safety. It's a simple move and I come out of it fine.

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

Sweet, my HP is full. I love this nasty apron!

[All the spiders clap along to the music.]

It is a catchy tune, no lie. But I need to get out of this. It's not like all of me is unable to move.

[ACT selected.]

[STRUGGLE selected.]

[You struggle to escape the web. Muffet covers her mouth and giggles at you.]

...Bitch.

A spider drops down and holds a sign...It's a picture of a spider. Okay, I know what that means now.

"Look at you. Trying to break free. It's so cute~."

"Would it help if I asked nicely? Please let me go?"

"Let you go? Don't be silly~. Your SOUL is going to make every spider very happy~~!"

Spiders cross the lines and it oddly seems like there was less this time. Making it easier.

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

[Muffet does a synchronized dance with the other spiders.]

"You know...Someone warned us about you...Offered us a LOT of money for your SOUL."

This gets my attention.

"What?"

"Oh yes~. They had such a sweet smile~ and...Ahuhuhu~. It's strange, but I swore I saw them in the shadows...Changing shape...?"

The hell? Wait...She can't mean one of the Followers...Can she? Stop it! Don't think about them! Don't!

"Oh well. It's not like it matters anyway. Your move, dearie~."

[STRUGGLE selected.]

[You struggle to escape the web. Muffet laughs and claps her hands.]

"Still trying, huh? Still thing. Don't you know spider silk is five times stronger than steel?"

I can not get a break today.

A spider drops down and holds a sign...It's a picture of two spiders. What?

Double the spiders come on the strings at the same time. It's somehow a new move yet works too similar to the normal attack to be tricky. I dodge it fairly well.

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

[Muffet pours herself a cup of spiders.]

...I didn't need to see that. No one needs to see a large spider drink smaller spiders like they were tea.

"*sip* With the money from you SOUL, the spider clans can finally be reunited~."

I tilt my head.

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't heard? Spiders have been trapped in the RUINS for generations!"

Obvious thing is obvious.

"Can't they, you know, squeeze out through the door?"

"*scoff* Even if they go under the door, Snowdin's fatal cold is impassable alone."

It is pretty cold there. Then they'd have to travel through two zones to get here. Damn, that sucks.

"But with the money from your SOUL, we'll be able to rent them a heated limo~. And with all of the leftovers...? We could have a nice vacation~! Or even build a spider baseball field~!"

What little sympathy I was gaining dies at that.

"Now you're just spending to show off."

"But enough of that...It's time for dinner, isn't it? Ahuhuhu~."

*Growls*

I look around and see nothing. I don't like this.

[STRUGGLE selected.]

[You struggle to escape the web. Nothing happened.]

"Don't struggle too much. You'll make yourself all sweaty. No one wants a sweaty donut."

A spider drops down and holds a sign...It's a picture of a spider and a donut?

The spiders come crawling faster than before even if their numbers aren't as much, then they are followed by random donuts being thrown by the spiders blocking the pathways. This almost had me. Came close, but no cigar.

[HP ██████████████████████████████████████████ 40/40]

I'm proud of my dodging skills. I've come a long way.

[Muffet tidies up the web around you.]

If you don't like crumbs, don't throw food. It's very simple.

*Growls*

There's that sound again. I really don't like it. Muffet does though.

"You look concerned."

"Are you saying you don't hear the growling?"

She giggles.

"Oh, how rude of me! I almost forgot to introduce you to my pet~."

I'm puzzled. What kind of pet does a spider have?

"Oh, my pet~...Looks like it's time for dessert~."

I can hear rapid heavy skittering. Not good! Not good!

[STRUGGLE selected.]

[You struggle to escape the web. Muffet is so amused by your antics that she gives you a discount!]

"Tell you what...If you survive my pet, I just might consider sparing you."

"R-Really? That might actually be the f...Holy fucking shit!!"

*Roar*

An abomination appears. A hideous cupcake spider thing emerges from the webs.

"What the fuck is that thing?!"

"This is my pet. Have fun, you two~."

A spider drops down and holds a sign...It's a picture of a cupcake. I don't like this at all!

So many spiders speed by in an unchanging pattern of fear and with good reason. The freaky food beast climbs down and begins eating the strings, pulling my soul towards its hungry maw. This causes spiders that were already on their way to fall prey to this creature as I desperately do my best to not get hit or be dragged to what I assume is instant death. But I'm too panicked to be perfect in my dodging.

[HP ████ 4/40]

Six...I took six hits. I'm gonna die.

[Your soul can't take much more of this.]

No? Really?! Like I couldn't fucking tell!

"You're still alive? Ahuhuhu~...That's impressive~."

She calls her pet to her side.

"Got way too worked up...*gag* I think...*gag* I think I'm gonna puke. *hic*"

"...Please don't. Do you know how hard vomit is to clean out of webbing?"

I take a moment to settle down.

"*sigh* Don't lie...Spiders eat their webbing when it gets messed up."

She cringes.

"Yeah...I don't know everything about spiders. But I do know random gross stuff like that."

I shake off the impending dizziness.

"So...Are you going to spare me?"

She thinks for a moment.

"I will..."

Maybe there is a god?

"For the small fee of 500G~."

Nope. God's dead.

"Are you kidding me?! I'm fucking broke! "

I ain't telling her I have money.

"Then I guess we're going to be spending more quality time together, dearie~ I do hope you're feeling comfortable trapped in that web. Ahuhuhuhu~! Because I don't mind keeping you here for as long as it takes~!"

Damn it. I don't have time for this crap. Wait a second...Time? Heh...This gives me an idea.

"Say, Muffet...Who's watching your bake sale stand while you're here?"

She folds her upper arms.

"A loyal family member. Why do you ask?"

I chuckle softly.

"Oh, no reason. Just checking."

Her eyes cock.

"Checking?"

"Well, we've been here a long time. At least, you have because you got here before me. And we're far from your stand too. It would be a real shame if someone took your 'donations' while this fight was happening."

She sneers.

"Dearie, you're not going to fool me again with that trick. No one would dare steal from me."

I smirk.

"That's the thing...It's not YOU they'd stealing from now is it? It's some other weaker spider."

Her expression gains some worry.

"Even if that spider is loyal, can you honestly say it can defend the money if, let's say, a group stormed the table?"

Concern crosses her face and her pet nudges her as it picks up the vibes.

"Then...Then I'll kill you quickly and return before some fool even tries!"

I shake my head at her.

"Yeah, that would be a thing you could do. But...You can't."

"Wha...What do you mean I can't? You have four HP left! One more hit and your SOUL is mine!"

I put my hands in my pockets and rock on my heels.

"True. So very true. Yet...It's not your turn."

Her eyes widen, finally picking up on my little plan.

"Here's the thing...I've been in enough fights to understand how they work. It all functions on a turn-based system. It's a very fair means of doing combat. No one can attack at random, only when it's their turn. Heh...But the kicker is, and I think you know where I'm going with this...There's no time limit on turns. So if I want to...as long as I don't do anything...my turn will never end. And we'll be stuck here, locked like this...forever!"

Now it's her turn to feel panic.

"You're bluffing."

I grin.

"How much are you willing to bet on that? Because I wager your clan won't take losing all their hard-earned gold due to your negligence very well. They may think a new leader is needed if that happens."

I yawn and stretch to get cozy, showing I'm more than willing to stay put. She twitches with nervousness.

"So tell us, Muffet...What's it gonna be?"

Based on my understanding of Muffet, she's a greedy, stingy, intimidating, malicious, and somehow hypocritical monster, although having a courteous and sweet way of speaking. She won't stay. The odds don't favor her.

Her pet looks at her, the spiders turn to her, the pressure is almost visible as it smothers her. She balls her six fists and stomps her foot in a fit.

"Fine! I'll SPARE you!"

"For free?"

She grinds her teeth.

"Yes, for free! Just quit stalling and confirm it!"

[Muffet is sparing you and refuses your money.]

I can be super evil when I have the chance.

[MERCY selected.]

[SPARE selected.]

[YOU WON!]

[You earned 0 XP and 0 gold.]

The webbing around my soul dissolves. As does the stuff around my feet. My soul turns a dull orange and returns to my body.

"There, you're free. Now get lost!"

"I'm glad we could have such a fun time together, dear."

She snarls and hops onto her pet.

"Next time, you won't get away so easily."

"And maybe next time you'll be paying me for my amazing entertainment skills."

I think channeled Mettaton for a moment. She bites back some harsh unladylike remarks and rides off. I look at the spiders that block my way out.

"Move...please."

They're hesitant but do so.

"Thank you."

I take a few steps but stop near them, pulling out a small handful of gold.

"I don't know if what she said was true, but...here."

I put the gold on the ground and take my leave, pulling a bottle of cider from my inventory to heal.

"Consider it an addition to the amount I've already paid in the Ruins."

The spiders are confused but I hear them take the gold. I can be evil, yes. But it's not true to my nature. I drink the whole bottle as I enter a new, hopefully lacking in spiders, area.

[HP ████████████████████████████ 28/40]

Not bad. I'll fully heal up soon. This new area appears to have the same material as the Ruins. I'm getting homesick. I miss Toriel. I miss Flowey. I miss my bed. I want to go home.

My melancholy blinds me to my current surroundings. I only come out of it once a spotlight hits me.

"The hell...?"

Things look funny. No doubt it's a setup by Mettaton. But I'm unsure what this act is. I mean, it looks like a receptionist's waiting room. A desk and some random chairs.

"GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTS...!"

Mettaton zips in wearing a red suit and shoves me in a chair as he takes center stage.

"FIRST AND FOREMOST, WE HERE AT MTTTV WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE LACK OF ME OVER THE COURSE OF THE PROGRAM. DUE TO THE LACK PREP WORK WITH MY COSTAR HERE, WE SADLY HAD TO FORGO A THRILLING ACT BACK IN LEVEL TWO INVOLVING HUNDREDS OF EXPLOSIVES!!"

I so freaking called it. I should let him have his moment...Nah!

"I thought you said that act was shit anyway?"

He extends an arm to cover my mouth.

"FORGIVE HER. SHE'S LOST A LOT OF BLOOD AND NOT ALL THERE MENTALLY."

I leer at him flatly.

"BUT...DARLING HERE IS GOING TO MAKE AMENDS WITH US ALL RIGHT NOW. IT'S TIME TO ANSWER SOME BURNING QUESTIONS."

I'm so confused as he lets go and leaps onto the desk, posing dramatically.

"IT'S TIME FOR..."

A large neon sign shaped like him drops from the ceiling.

"BURNING THE MIDNIGHT OIL WITH A KILLER ROBOT! THE LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW HOSTED BY YOURS TRULY."

Huh. Not a bad title.

"I thought you were working on a courtroom trial program?"

He scoots to now sit behind the desk.

"UNFORTUNATELY, WHILE I DO HAVE THE FUNDS, I DON'T HAVE AVAILABLE WORKERS TO MAKE SUCH A SET. SO...WE'RE DOING THIS INSTEAD."

"Heh...Must be hard to meet your expectations."

"DARLING, YOU HAVE NO IDEA."

A tense dramatic score plays.

"SO, DARLING...ARE YOU READY TO TELL ME EVERYTHING?"

Ah. I see now. Fine, Metta, have it your way. Just be careful what you wish for. You may not like it. Now don't get me wrong. I know my limits. I'm not about to tell him EVERYTHING. I'm not that stupid. But if he wants truth, he's going to get a version that's missing some characters and other junk.

"As you wish. You wanna know the truth? You want to scar the entire Underground? Sure. Why not. What else do I have to lose at this point since you exposed me? So congratulations! I hope you like the prize you've been longing to get. Because I sure as hell don't."

Let the show commence.

[unpopularly-opinionated]

Alright, now that I’ve had sex I will give my two cents on Cyberpunk 2077. I’ll try to remain as spoiler-free as possible, but to be courteous I will still hide it. I won’t discuss story details, just gameplay and my overall thoughts.

First off, the game is fun as fuck. In my honest opinion, it definitely meets the hype it garnered throughout development. It really meets my expectation of an open-world Deus Ex-type experience.

Personally, I haven’t encountered too many bugs, and the ones I have haven’t been remotely frustrating. I am aware that is purely anecdotal however, as it seems a lot of other folks are getting bugs galore. Sometimes an item won’t load in, whether it’s in-world or sometimes it’s the clothing I equip (one time I equipped a pair of pants and it weirdly hid my dick but nothing else so I looked like a fucking Ken doll from the waist down, it was funny, a quick unequip and reequip fixed it). One time an NPC walked through a wall. And occasionally, when standing on an edge (like a curb or a barrier or something) if I move I’ll accelerate to a really quick speed. Again, nothing has impacted me negatively, it’s all just been sort of odd duck bugs.

The game sounds incredible. Honestly one of things I was most excited for was how good the game would sound, and yeah it sounds excellent. Completely fits the theme it’s going for. Sometimes the music is obnoxiously loud which I know could be a turn off for many people, but I actually think it fits the world to have EDM blaring through your speakers while you’re skulking about or in a big shootout.

I can’t really attest to the graphics since my card isn’t that great (GTX 970 for those who are curious if it’ll run on that) so I’m playing on Medium graphics. It doesn’t look too bad at Medium, but it’s definitely a noticeable downgrade from the marketing. Cars tend to pull up as weird metal blobs before their rigid bodies pop into existence. Food looks under-detailed. People and the overall world still look fantastic.

Combat is very similar to the Deus Ex games. You usually have an option of stealth or open combat. Sometimes a gig will request that you don’t raise an alarm or don’t drop any bodies, though so far those have all been optional. I will say that sometimes it feels like stealth isn’t really an option even though technically it is. I ran into a few areas where there’s a guard posted at every entrance, and often multiple making it difficult to sneak behind one to knock them out. Also, and this might classify as a bug I honestly don’t know if it’s just user error or what, but sometimes the game will tell me guards have spotted a body I K/O’d even when I have every guard highlighted and can see that they’re nowhere near where I hid the bodies. I don’t know if it’s like a camera I’m missing or what though.

If I had to point at some aspects I didn’t like, in the interest of fairness, I would say the driving is horrendous. I find it almost completely unplayable to be honest. You constantly have to tap the brakes, never hold the gas for longer than a nanosecond, and turning is an absolute nightmare. I could very well just suck at it, but for me at least, I stick to walking.

There is a crafting system which...if I had to be honest, I would say it’s sort of unnecessary and possibly there just to pad the skill trees. I haven’t used it at all in my 12-14 hours of play, maybe it will become more useful as time goes on, but genuinely I don’t imagine so except perhaps for upgrading your gear since some gear is unique and you’re meant to upgrade it to get better versions of that one piece.

Character progression works very similar to how it works in Skyrim. You have five skills: Body (Strength, HP, Stamina), Reflexes (Speed, Evasion, Weapons Handling), Technical Ability (Tech Weapons, Technology), Intelligence (Hacking), and Cool (Stealth, Persuasiveness(?)). From there, each skill has sub-skills which are too many to list. Every time you use a sub-skill (for example, killing an enemy from stealth or hacking a person) you will gain EXP for that sub-skill and eventually level it up which will unlock perks and perk points to unlock those perks. I put a (?) around Persuasiveness because to be honest, I’m not sure that that’s a good word for what Cool seems to impact. Occasionally during dialog you will see the Cool symbol next to an option, similar to a skill check in like Fallout New Vegas, and so far none have been me “persuading” anyone, but they provide an alternative dialog option which could potentially lead to more information.

As soon as I was able to, I went and paid for sex. Gotta say, 2/10 experience IMO. Like it’s hilarious to talk about this because it’s kinda cringe but like we’re all thinking about it so fuck it, why not. There are legit dick jiggle physics in the game, I.E. your dick literally jiggles as you move, but you never see it, even during sex. I was actually a little surprised (and mildly disappointed because like come on). Obviously I’m not playing this game just for the in-game sex, but I have to say I was expecting more. Also there appears to be only two options for people to fuck, a girl and a guy. So yeah, 2/10 experience. Not worth the 100 Eurodollars.

[har-rison-s]

what do you know?

part one; Roger Taylor x OC.

summary: Maria Alton, a famous british writer, and Roger Taylor, the also-famous rockstar, have been together for over ten years and Mr Taylor thinks it's finally time to take their relationship to the next level. Everything goes smoothly, until one late evening in their house in London.

warnings: mentions of sex and cheating, nothing graphic, sad things?

main masterlist

borhap masterlist

roger masterlist

It's already dark outside, and the temperature had decreased, as well. Maria's office light is still on, though, and she isn't done signing her legality papers. Her cup of tea is almost empty, but the only tea there could be is cold already. She glances into it and sighs. Then she glances at the clock behind the cup and her eyes widen a little. It's late, she should go home.

Maria stands up from her chair and puts all her papers in the correct order and a neat pile. She puts her pens in the holder and then takes a sticky note, writes “I'll finish these tomorrow :)” on it with a pencil and sticks the note on the pile of papers. Maria takes her bag and the mug, and puts the mug in the small kitchen next to her office. She puts on her coat and before shutting all the lights off, she thinks that she has to call Roger to tell him she's coming home. Then she decides against it, and shuts off all the lights and locks her office.

Roger had asked for Maria's hand in marriage just a few weeks ago. She, happy as ever, let him have her as a wife. They had already arranged a place and date on their wedding and now the pair had to think of all the details. Maria knew that Roger would be too lazy to organise anything, so naturally, she would take the wheel for most things.

Maria doesn't take a cab home, since walking to their house takes only half an hour or so. It's not too cold to be outside yet, nearing the end of September, so she won't catch a cold even if she tried. As she walks down the nearly empty streets of the city, Maria thinks about their engagement and the upcoming wedding. She looks at the ring on her finger and giggles excitedly. Just like when she was in school - when the guy she liked asked her to the dance. 

She feels exactly the same now, except it's not the guy, it's Roger. The love of her life, the most important person in her life. Since Maria's parents died in a car crash not long after she graduated high school, she hasn't known anyone as long as she has Roger. He was the sort of saving light for her at that time, when they met in university.

Their relationship hadn't started straight away, although Roger wanted it to. Maria kept denying him of dates or study dates or anything of that sort. Being the wonderful guy he is, Roger respected that and they stayed as good friends through out university. All through those years, Maria had wondered what these strange feelings were for Roger. And when he asked her to dance at their graduation party, she realised exactly what they were.

Maria felt as happy as ever when she was with Roger. He really made her remember what it was to smile, laugh and be care-free. He taught her to love and find love again without acknowledging it. She couldn't be more thankful to whatever or whoever it was who brought Roger into her life.

Maria's part in Roger's life is also huge. She means everything to him. Since the first day he saw that sad and serious, yet beautiful face of hers, he had wanted nothing more than to be the reason for her smile. Roger fell in love with her strong and well-grounded opinions, they way she wasn't afraid to speak up in front of anyone and how she corrected the teachers if there was a solid mistake that couldn't be looked at through your fingers.

Roger fell in love with her whole being, and he simply couldn't live if he didn't have her. The reason Maria denied him through out university was “I can't focus on my studies and a relationship, Roger. It's either you or university.” Roger had chuckled at her statement and brushed some hair out of her face as Maria was writing in her notebook. Her face remained serious and focused and Roger just sighed, looking at her in adoration. That's what he truly admires about her - she won't give up her work for any guy in the world, even him, whom she was madly in love with (without her even knowing). 

When Roger told Maria that he was in a band and wanted to play drums for a living, she was a little shocked, but not too much. She saw how music had taken its toll on him on the first year of university, and how he would always drum on the table with his fingers or stamp his foot to a random song's rhythm that was stuck in his head during their shared classes. One time, before he told her he'd started taking drumming lessons, Roger got so loud that a professor sent him out of class. Roger had gave Maria a cheeky wink before going out, and she had rolled her eyes at him.

After that, Maria always studied in an abandoned room of the university while Roger played drums in the same room. He wanted her to watch him play, he wanted her to guess the songs he was playing, he wanted to hear her opinion about his playing. Frankly, Maria's ears were tired of his loud playing and she in no way could give him an opinion on drum skills. She was no music expert, only maybe in rock groups. But she told him every time that he plays great, and that she'd love to hear more. And next time, she would regret ever saying that because of how much studying she needed to do for herself and Roger.

When Roger announced that he was in a band, Maria was ecstatic and wanted immediately to see him perform on a stage. She asked questions about his band, and he told her, not really seeing the point, though. On the night of their first gig at a near-by bar, Maria met his band mates Tim and Brian. Just like him—being regular university boys—they were big flirts. Roger had told them about his fancying of Maria, which meant they were even flirtier with her when Roger was around. It made Maria a bit confused, but the boys had a fat laugh about Roger's reaction.

Turns out that from not giving up gigs and a band that would—in the opinion of everyone else—lead them nowhere, they actually got pretty far. Many number one hits in America and Europe, new songs on the way, successful tours, loving fans... What more could a small student band from London want? 

It was hard, at first, to accomodate Roger's lifestyle, with all the interviews, horny girls, barely being home, parties, recording sessions. But Maria, being the responsible and practical person, managed both of their time so that her and Roger's relationship wouldn't fail. It was the most wonderful relationship anyone had the opportunity to witness, really.

They worked like a team and were so in love with each other that everyone wanted to be around them and talk to them. Roger and Maria were constantly holding hands or being near each other, it's simply how they worked. Despite their busy careers, the pair were happy together. 

Maria's writing career is the most important thing in her life, except Roger. She speaks out all her dreams, thoughts, fantasies and “lessons of life” in books. It's how she gets rid of all the bothering thoughts in her head, and how she can inspire others. Words are her thing, Maria knows how to speak to people, and which words to say at the right moment, also a favourite thing of Roger's about her.

Asking for her hand in marriage will always be the happiest moment of Maria's life. It was unexpected. Right after their “News Of The World” tour had ended, the band and their wives were having a little get-together at Freddie's house. They were all in another room, waiting anxiously and watching Roger propose to Maria. Once she said yes, they all broke out of the hallway and congratulated the freshly engaged couple. So much for a lovely private moment...

Maria is a best-selling author in London, and in some nearest cities in England. She's almost as famous as Roger, it's what they like to laugh about between them both. Maria's a very punctual and serious woman, she likes order and rules, but also likes to have her fun. She's always picking up after Roger, always cleaning his plates, throwing out his cigarettes, doing his laundry. 

Maria chuckles at a memory of Roger trying to do his own laundry just as she's pushing her keys into the slot. She's practically home, and she sighs in relief. Maria takes out the key once she has unlocked her door and pushes it open. What takes her by surprise is what she sees when her living room comes into view.

Her fiancée of three weeks is on the sofa, simply laying down as it seems at first, his back being embraced by a foreign pair of arms. Maria wants to check herself to see if, accidentally, she's the owner of those arms. And she's not. Giggles can be heard through out the room and once Maria spots another head of blonde locks, her bag drops down to the floor. 

Apparently, Roger and the blonde stranger heard the drop and both sit up in the sofa, startled a little. Maria's eyes only watch how Roger's face changes expressions in each second passing. She's currently in too much shock to say or do something. 

Roger stands up from the sofa and Maria watches him put his belt back in place while he stumbles towards her. He's drunk. “Maria, baby, I—” He starts to say, and that makes tears form in Maria's eyes. “It's not—”

“What it looks like?” She asks and her voice breaks. He's trying to lie through the obvious black on white truth. Really? Maria can't even look at him. Her gaze reaches the ceiling, and the wall behind him, the floor beneath him, anywhere but his drunken face and guilty eyes. “Then what is it?” She shoots him an irritated glance, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I was, uh...” Roger tries to say something, waving his hands around. His head moves to the mysterious blonde on the sofa. Maria looks at her and if eyes could kill, she would be massacred. 

“Get out!” Maria shouts at her. The girl's face is twisted by fear and she immediately gets up from the sofa. She's young, Maria notes, and the fact makes her heart churn up. She grabs her coat and shoes, and starts putting them on. Maria's impatient. “Get OUT!” She shouts again, even louder now. The blonde takes her shoes in hand and runs out of the apartment. Maria shuts the door behind her.

“No need to be so rude to her.” Roger says. Maria scoffs and looks at him. 

“Really? I can't be rude?! And you can—“ She stops talking and looks away. There's no need for this. Roger's obviously lost interest in her in every way, and the young girl is certainly more interesting right now. No need to ask him questions, everything's laid out to see. 

Roger steps closer to her, and Maria immediately takes a step back. “That was nothing, sweetheart, I swear, she's only—” He starts talk, but the cold stare Maria gives him shuts him up in a second. Roger doesn't really know what to say to her to make everything better. There isn't a word, really, to make anything better about having another girl in their shared apartment. 

Maria looks at him and starts to tear up. Roger wants to wipe those tears and kiss the pain away. Maria wipes her own tears and then sighs. “I don't want to see you.” She admits. “Please get out of my apartment.” 

“It's ours, darling.” Roger says. 

“Get out, Roger.” It pains her to say those things, but she has to. Roger has to go right now, and Maria will figure the rest out after he's gone. Roger stands still in his spot. He either can't move or doesn't want to. “What's not clear, Roger?! Get out of my sight!”

Her eyes are furious and full of fire when they look at Roger's tear filled ones. He's slightly afraid of her, and afraid to say anything, but he has to. “Maria, love,” he starts to say, and his voice cracks, “I don't want to go.” Maria shrugs. “If you could talk with me, give me a minute, I will—”

“Explain? Sure! Tell me all about how you met...” She can't even say a word about the blonde, yet her mind is already writing angry letters about her. 

“Just give me a day. Any day, I'll be free. For you.” Roger offers with an extended arm. Maria's eyes don't reach his. She's tired and angry, and wants no one to touch or bother her. A few minutes later of Maria thinking, she has decided what to do.

“Meet me on Friday at lunch time. My office. I'll give you thirty minutes of my time to give me reasons why we should still... marry.” She says and looks up at Roger. “Until then, I want you out of my eyes.” 

Roger nods eagerly and a tear slips down his cheek. “I'll be there, I promise you, I will.” He says. You also promised to marry me and no one else, Maria thinks. 

She looks down at her hand and notices the ring. She takes it off her finger and tosses it to Roger, who catches the ring, despite his surprise. His eyes scan over the small object and then he eyes Maria with hurtful eyes. 

“Get out, Roger.” She says in full seriousness. “I won't ask you a fifth time.” Maria leaves the door open for him and walks further into their apartment, ready to take a shower and go to sleep alone. 

Roger watches as the supposed love of his life walks away from him and sighs quietly. He takes the keys of his car and puts on his shoes. A coat covers his cold shoulders and he walks out. Roger lingers for a while, looking behind his shoulder. 

A day-dream of Maria coming back to him appears before his eyes, and he blinks to make sure it's real. She's not running, she's not even there. Roger's head hangs down and he sighs in slight disappointment. He reaches his arm out and closes the door behind him. 

Perhaps, after all these years, it wasn't meant to be, Roger thinks when he lays down in a hotel bed. A voice at the back of his head disagrees with that and says it's a lie, but Roger doesn't hear it. He drifts to sleep soon after, having nothing but violent dreams about his inner pain.

[umbraja]

Oh look - A Scam.

I don’t know if I’ve got many, or even any, web developers that follow me but I am so pissed off by this that I’m gonna scream into the void for a while.

Also, this might be good for anyone that has a website.

The above image is an actual piece of physical mail one of my clients received this month. This client is a small business owner that knows absolutely nothing about websites or what it takes to run them. That’s what they pay me for. This client also does not speak the greatest English so most of our meetings we have to get their son to translate. I don’t mind it though because they are lovely people and I truly enjoy working with them - not to mention the free papusas and guacamole. 

These wonderful people received what looks like an invoice charging them for ‘Yearly Web Hosting’ in the mail and if not for their son they would have paid it without blinking. Thankfully, I have the kind of relationship with them that they’re not afraid to ask questions so when the son didn’t recognize the company name or address (we’re nowhere near Nevada) he emailed me this image and asked if I had sent it. I about freaked out, worried that his parents had gotten scammed into changing hosts so went on my server, checked the domain, all that stuff, before I even noticed the bolded bulleted text that admits this letter is not an invoice, rather a solicitation. I was fooled. At first glance anyway. 

How many other small businesses got this letter and didn’t take a second look? Everything about this letter screams ‘Official Invoice’ and if your English skills are not that great it would be easy to misunderstand the complicated words that explain this is not an invoice. Small business owners are so overwhelmed to begin with - especially when it comes to websites - that I can easily see some of them just writing a check and not even realizing it went to a company they don’t have a contract with. At least not until the contract with their actual host expires.

And then what happens?

Honestly, I don’t know but from looking at the site this invoice lists I’m gonna take a shot in the dark and assume that they do NOT actually host anyone’s website. Their social media links go to the platform’s main page, not a user page. You only have to click down one level on their site itself to get to pages that are not just laughably simple but the words on the page are pure fluff - if there even are words on the page. There are no server or bandwidth details, prices, or any way to buy their products outside of contacting them through a little form. If you look up their address it’s just a business center for renting offices (from which you simply can not provide the managed hosting services they advertise - unless they’re reselling space on someone else’s server but that’s not what the marketing implies). They don’t list any past clients. If you look at the code you see it’s a Word Press site. When you look up the domain you see that it was created in February of this year and expires next year. It’s also registered through a Canadian privacy protection service. 

They don’t even have a logo. 

All of those things are red flags screaming that they don’t know shit about web design or hosting. But I only know that because I am web designer. Most of my clients would not know enough to be able to smell the stink on this. They would get distracted by the slick polish, the stock photos, and too good to be true promises of what this ‘company’ can offer them. Which, by the way, would be an absolute steal at $180 a year if all the promises were true. Things like 99.9% Uptime and “Unlimited Change Requests” - that little line alone is worth more than I would ever offer to a client. There is no way a company big enough to do business across state lines would offer that level of service at that price. 

And yet. I’m pretty sure at least a few people were duped into paying for a product that simply does not exist. Since this little ‘solicitation’ letter does say that it’s not an invoice I’m pretty sure you can’t sue them if you fell for their trick. Even if you did try, I doubt you would be able to track them down for the trial because the ‘company’ does not exist - at least according to Nevada’s Secretary of State Business Entity Search. And the domain’s privacy listing is with a foreign company so have fun getting information out of them. Not that it matters much anyway because it’s very easy to spoof registrant information. Of course a good PI (or hacker) could track these people down but that, on top of legal fees, would end up costing waaay more than $180 so it is unlikely anyone will even try.

But what’s even worse is the people that did notice that line about it being a solicitation and then consciously made the decision to change hosts to this new ‘company’ because, let’s face it, this is probably less than they were paying. It’s $15 a month for all the bells and whistles. For comparison, GoDaddy charges about $20 for their most basic business package and $170 for their dedicated servers (which seems to be what this site is selling though they’re too vague about it to be certain). Neither of which come with Graphic Design or SEO packages included. I have clients that pay me $1,500 a year for the kind of service this ‘company’ advertises and that is a low end price. 

So, yeah, I would not be surprised if a few of my customers could be taken in by this scam. My customers are very lucky though because not only have I contacted them all warning them about this fake ‘invoice’ but I’m also a good graphic designer that values customer service so I won’t be shutting anyone’s site down until I’ve personally had a talk with them about why they didn’t pay me this year. That’s not something a big box host is gonna do though so how many small businesses are going to have their sites shut down because they ignored their old host’s invoice thinking that they switched companies? How many are going to lose their web presence, and possibly even their domain, because they think this scammer is taking care of it for them?

I would like to say the answer is Zero but I know it’s not. 

Because I know that most people don’t really understand how websites work. Most people think that switching hosts is as simple as changing the person you pay. It’s not. Most people don’t understand that hosting, domains, and web design are actually three different products that you can get separately from three different providers. Most people have no idea what any of those actually cost and usually assume it’s a lot less than it actually is.

I just hope that most people will give their current host a call and ask about this sort of thing before falling into a scam.

[mummified-game-review]

Haque: A review

It was funny one summer of anime I was reading this really cute manga about this girl who maxed out her level by killing nothing but slimes, the same time as everyone was getting into that other anime call “that time i was reincarnated as a slime” super weird that these things happened fairly close to each other.

Oh well let's talk about fighting some slimes.

Welcome back to another video here on Mummified games. My name is Tony and today we're going to be taking a look at the RPG Roguelike Haque by Super Try.

This is another one of these roguelikes where you are asked to pick one of three characters to go run though these dungeons. And try to get as far as you can.

The game has a heavy retro feel to it. And I mean heavy retro as in they let you turn on CRT scan lines and a faux dirty screen to make it feel super rough and hard to see...

Ah yes the anarcho-retro style. So in love with old graphics that were going to actively make the experience as basic as possible on your nice clean 1080p monitors and TVs. The chaotic Evil of game graphics.

Luckily if you don't want to play with dust and crap all over your screen, then grab some monitor cleaner

And if you don't want the fake dirt in the game then you can turn it all off along with the CRT scanlines. Doing this will make it all crisp clean sharp pixels.

Anyway moving on from that small personal setting.

The game starts when you first load it up asking you to impot the date. But no matter what you type it does the right date. And that was cool when it happened. You can just press the same key over and over again to progress though this intro but it might also be fun to just pretend you're inputting these commands.

I don't have any video of this because I started playing the game and forgot to hit the record button on OBS. So yeah. Sorry.

So once you’re in I highly recommend you play the tutorial and figure out what everything means. The symbols and art that exist in this game are fine. And once you know what they stand for it makes sense, but just jumping right into the game can be a little deep.

The controls are fairly simple, similar to the controls of a game that I reviewed earlier called Midboxx where you can click around your character, selecting the squares around them and moving to the next squares. And also attacking this way.

Hitting “I” will bring up your inventory and you can also see what you have equipped. Similar to all the other RPGs that are out there.

All the actions you can do are bound to 1 through 4 and also Q W E R at the top left of the keyboard. Compared to ability buttons in some MOBA or MMO games.

QWER being reserved for special skills that your equipped items give you. And then there are 1 through 4 that are quick locations for consumable items. Examples being positions and other limited uses items.

There is a companion that comes with you that fights the monsters you might see in the dungeons.

But that's sort of the basics. There are tons of skills and items that you could use in the game that you could just hold right click over and they explain the spell.

Once you get out of the tutorial the actual game starts with you picking one of 3 different random skilled and stats characters at the start. They’re nowhere near your typical archetypal characters, sometimes you can get a sorcerer that is a great fighter. Sometimes you can get a Necromancer Mushroom that spews spores everywhere. And then there sometimes is a werewolf that you can play as, also.

It's hard to tell you about this game because there isn't a lot that sets it apart from other Roguelikes there are.

The music is fairly basic, and now that I stopped playing the game I could not tell you what any of it sounded like. I know there was a sort of chime sounding song that would play in the shops and that was different from the other songs.

Oh there is a fun idea they put into the shop mechanic.

There's no money or currency in this game. So the shopping experience is a barter deal. Where you select the item you want to buy and then select the items you would want to trade for it. And the game gives you a percentage of if that deal would go through or not. That's actually interesting.

Especially since the chance of the trade going through is the same window in the game where they show you the likelihood of the attack you're about to do will land or not. So that's fun.

There's a sight range thing... *sigh*

There is just nothing to really talk about in this one. It's all just more dungeon crawling fighting more enemies.

There is a story going on with the program being corrupted. And there is an old man that I was halfway through level 3 or 4 when I was thinking okay when is he going to turn on me? And turns out to be a bad guy.

Idk why i thought that might happen but after beating the level one skeleton boss he said something to me that i thought was super ominous. All while the screen was glitching out a bit. Very weird.

Having played this for about an hour and a half I didn't get really far into the story part of this Roguelike. Again a fault of the genre. Your story can't be super long or hard to reach if the player is going to die over and over again.

While playing this game I found myself taking into account the same fighting style that I adopted in Crypt of the Necrodancer. Where if the monster i'm fighting is about to attack i just move back one and they have to spend their turn to move forward.

The problem with this strategy is that the game does not clearly show you how long it is until the other character will take their turn. So you might move back one and then it turns out you have more time until they do their thing.

I feel like this one is going to be the same thing I say about most of the games that came in the Racial Justice Bundle. If you bought that bundle then sure go play this game since you have it. Go find it in your collection and give it a whirl.

But as for a recommendation to go out and pick it up. I'd say unless you really need that crunchy pixel roguelike RPG in your life then sure. If not then I'd give this a pass.

If you played this game, what were your thoughts on it?

If you haven't played this game, are there any other aggressively retro games out there that you would want me to try. Let me know in the comments.

IN THE MEANTIME!

I just remembered I never did a Tournament update at the end of July. I think that since i didn't do a full month i'm going to wait till the end of August. That way I have a bunch to filter though. Not as much as the first one obviously but still a good chunk to push forward with.

I'm sure ill get to another tool or book review soon if anyone was looking for more of those. I'm giving myself a little bit of time every day to read though some of the actual books in this bundle. The next Book club might not be a bundle but a full book by its self. Obviously i'll keep you informed.

But for now you all do the youtube dance Like, Sub, Bell, Comment, share with someone you know.

And as always friends, keep digging and we’ll make it out sometime

See you in the next one.

[mariaclaragomez276]

Meet the SLH Marketing Team

A creative think tank of travel experts specialising in luxury brand positioning, we’re proud to be a small yet mighty team of independently minded individuals. Each with our own unique skill-set, from illustration, graphic design, content creation to copywriting, our marketing knowledge spans across three continents and the same number of decades. Here’s a little bit more about the people behind the brand…

Richard Hyde – Chief Operating Officer

Three fun facts about yourself…

On a work experience week at the Amstel Hotel in Amsterdam a guest called to complain about the soap not soaping. He didn’t realise it had a thin plastic wrapping. That person was Bill Gates.

My first job was advertising microwave ovens. We put a massive billboard on the Cromwell Road with a 25 ft rubber chicken. Within 24 hours it had disappeared, never to be found again. But someone in Earls Court must have it.

I am a big reindeer fan. On a visit to Lapland to see Father Christmas (he does exist), I befriended a reindeer with one antler called Nobby. I paid for his upkeep for a year and got an ownership certificate. If you enjoyed the Chernobyl series on Sky, spare a thought for all the wildlife in Scandinavia, which caught the brunt of the radiation fall out. Another sad fact, there are no wild reindeer left in Scandinavia. Every single one is accounted for and tagged.

Which destination is top of your bucket list?

I’ve always wanted to cycle from New York to San Francisco, but apparently it is better the other way due to the prevailing wind, but it’s not same to end 6 weeks of pain in the East River rather than the Pacific Ocean.

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

A hard question but I’ll say the new Kontiki Yacht experience around the Galapagos.

Where is your happy place?

In a large double bed with the family, watching an old Sophia Loren movie and Jennifer Lawrence whispering bed time stories in my ear.

Your most memorable travel experience?

Going on a moped tour of Lahore in Pakistan. Just the friendliest people and most exotic markets. Shame it’s ruined by internal strife.

Abi Tottenham-Smith – Head of Social Media

Three fun facts about yourself…

I am a big musical theatre fan and love nothing more than a cheesy musical. I have been dancing since I was a kid and still like to do classes and workshops every so often now to get my fix!

I have worked and lived in both Singapore and NYC for a few months each. Even though I have bought a flat in London and have a dog, I still have an urge to live somewhere else for a short period of time – anyone in NYC want to house swap?

I studied Fashion Marketing at university and always thought I wanted to get into the fashion industry – particularly mens fashion. After a short stint in the fashion industry and then the world of beauty, I moved into travel and couldn’t see myself anywhere else now!

Which destination is top of your bucketlist?

I had a trip to South Africa booked to visit friends before lockdown which sadly got cancelled so I am desperate to re-arrange that as soon as possible! I am also craving a wilderness escape in Canada and it would be a dream to one day visit Bhutan – it sounds like a truly magical country and it still seems like it is relatively untouched by tourism.

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

There are far too any and I had already mentioned in my previous interview that I was desperate to visit Sikelia, Trout Point Lodge and Petit St. Vincent but now on top of these I love the look of Hôtel Crillon le Brave in France, Villa La Madonna in Italy and Villa Geba in Montenegro.

Where is your happy place?

On Compton Beach in the Isle of Wight. I have been going there with my family since I was a child as my grandfather bought a small coastguard cottage on the island at an auction in the 1960s. My parents now rent it out during the summer but we try to go down as much as possible when its available. It’s the one place where you can truly relax, go on long beautiful walks, play board games by the fire and turn off from city life!

Your most memorable travel experience?

We arrived on a tiny island in the Philippines in the middle of the night and had to get to our accommodation on the opposite side of the island. We managed to find a lovely man who took us in his tuktuk – little did we know the roads meandered through thick woods and hovered over steep cliffs and our new pal was a maniac on the road… two hours later we arrived shaken but unscathed and hiked down to the little hut we had booked. We had no idea where we were or what the surroundings were like but woke up in the morning to the most incredible view over a river, in the middle of nowhere. We ended up staying there for three nights and enjoyed swimming in the river, hiking the cliffs and relaxing in the hammock (mostly psyching ourselves up to take the journey back again!)

Maddy Morgan – Director of PR Worldwide

Three fun facts about yourself…

I once went to circus school to learn how to be a trapeze artist.

In the 90s I was a clog dancing champion and went on tours of Europe and the US.

I have visited pretty much every corner of California – it’s my specialist subject.

Which destination is top of your bucketlist?

It’s not a destination so much as an experience – I would love to take an extended trip with my family and follow the sun and the surf around the world. No fixed agenda just pure freedom and the opportunity to take forest school to the next level for my kids!

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

Brazil has been on my wish list for a long time so Kenoa – Exclusive Beach Spa and Resort near Maceio is top of the list. It describes itself as an eco-chic design hotel where luxury is defined by earth given beauty – I feel relaxed just thinking about it!

Where is your happy place?

For me it’s Portugal – I spent a lot of time there growing up and then studied at university in Coimbra. I go at least once a year and love the fact that when I’m there I feel completely at home and not a tourist. The smell of pine trees will always be one of the most evocative scents for me and takes me straight back to hot summer days in Algarve.

Your most memorable travel experience?

I worked at an orphanage in rural Sarawak for a year when I was 18. The locals were incredibly generous taking us on trips to visit their families in nearby longhouses and including us in special occasions like weddings – it’s a cliché but there really is nothing like a totally immersive travel experience. One of them who I hadn’t seen for 20 years just sent me a video message out of the blue for my birthday in June which was the most amazing present. If I’m allowed a second one it would be filming on Alcatraz and being left alone in the cell block while the crew went outside to shoot the sunset. I’m not sure many people get to experience that and it was terrifying!

Dana O’Malley – PR Director Americas

Three fun facts about yourself…

I used to live three blocks from the White House.

I was on the field for an AC Milan v Chelsea match.

I’m half Trinidadian, half American (by way of Eastern Europe).

Which destination is top of your bucket list?

Japan has been on the top of my bucket list for a few years now and I’m determined to get there soon! I’ve always been infatuated by the culture and food, and can’t wait to explore the cities and further afield.

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

I would love to visit Dar Ahlam in Morocco. It’s a very special retreat situated near the Moroccan desert which caters to your every whim.

Where is your happy place?

Anywhere with my husband! We’re always ready for an adventure and experiencing new things, especially with our young daughter in tow.

Your most memorable travel experience?

Pimalai Resort & Spa in Koh Lanta, Thailand holds a special place in my heart. We spent our honeymoon at the resort basking in the sun, enjoying private dinners on the beach and taking a boat tour to visit nearby islands.

Juliana Tan – PR Director Asia Pacific

Three fun facts about yourself…

I take care of Public Relations in Asia Pacific, and live on the sunny shores of Singapore.

During my free time, I enjoy photography and jewellery making.

I have recently taken up gardening too, inspired by the farm-to-table concept that I see at many SLH hotels.

Which destination is top of your bucket list?

North America! I have travelled to almost every part of Asia Pacific, but have not ventured to the Americas yet. I was supposed to visit this November, so that is definitely top of my list for 2021.

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

I would like to go to Hacienda Zorita Wine Hotel & Organic Farm Hotel in Spain. I love to eat, and just reading up about the hotel makes me hungry – for their fine Spanish cuisine and culinary adventures at their organic farm and vineyard. I am especially looking forward to meeting their special residents who live in the 30-hectare evergreen oak tree forest – the indigenous Churra sheep, near extinct Verata goats and endangered woolly Mangalica pigs. The hotel is committed to preserving indigenous, rare and endangered species in the Duero Valley. If the place is good enough for Christopher Columbus (who reputedly once visited, restored and modernised the 14th-century Dominican monastery), Hacienda Zorita Wine Hotel & Organic Farm Hotel is definitely good enough for me to explore!

Where is your happy place?

Cliché as it sounds, the Kingdom of Bhutan warms the cockles of my heart. I was intrigued by a place which seems to have stood still in time, by their very colourful culture and historic architecture. Beyond The Tiger’s Nest and Dzongs, there’s so much more to explore in Bhutan, like staying in a farmhouse, making your own buckwheat noodles from scratch and ending the day with a hot stone bath (you can try a luxurious version at Gangtey Lodge and Bhutan Spirit Sanctuary). Most of all, the sincere and welcoming hearts of the people I met left the deepest impression, so much so I started to read up on the Kingdom after I returned home, and I am planning to go back again soon.

Your most memorable travel experience?

My first safari to Botswana was an eye-opener, literally. Being a city dweller, the concrete jungle with its gaudy lights, deafening noises and rushed footsteps were what I was used to. During the week I was on safari, I was greeted with glistening sunshine accented with the happy chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves as wildlife walked alongside. I learnt to stay still and just observe the animals, thoroughly enjoying the antics of the young. The entire experience enhanced my senses – by day three, I was able to clearly see the vast plains lit solely by the moonlight and interpret the calls and footsteps of wildlife; our safari guide (interestingly, his name was Fish) taught us well!

Jessica Sparkes – Head of Digital Performance

Three fun facts about yourself…

Recently, I reignited my love for musical theatre, completing a beginner course and singing ‘I dreamed a dream’ in the end show.

I have a little Maltipoo pup called Gus. We like to do tricks together, currently we are learning to dance.

I’ve tried every last minute holiday diet available.

Which destination is top of your bucket list?

Argentina Wine Trails, Cambodia and the Philippines.

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

There are far too many to choose from! Finca Serena for the ultimate, European, countryside escape. Huvafen Fushi Maldives – you just need to view the hotel gallery to understand why! And Le Barthélemy Hotel & Spa because I absolutely love the Caribbean and this is another beautiful location to tick off my list.

Where is your happy place?

The minute I buckle up my seat belt on a plane out of here! The happiest of places is when I have my toes in the sand, face in sunshine and reading a book.

Your most memorable travel experience?

I did a sunrise climb of Mount Batur in Bali a couple of years ago. I had absolutely no idea what to expect and probably for the best. A pick up time of 2am, three hour trek in the thick darkness of the night with head torches and then climbing towards the top on my hands and knees! Once you have made it to the top of the volcano, you see the most incredible views across Indonesia with the sun rising over the horizon. There was also a guitarist singing “Hotel California” – such an incredible experience.

Laura Bizayi – Senior Digital Campaign Manager

Three fun facts about yourself…

I was born 11 weeks premature and weighed just the same as a bag of sugar.

I have a 6 month old Pomapoo called Luna, so we have the same initials (LB).

I once took part in the world’s biggest egg and spoon race at school.

Which destination is top of your bucketlist?

Maldives. Philippines. Mykonos. I’m more of a sun searcher, I admit.

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

Kenoa – Exclusive Beach Spa & Resort. New to SLH and looks completely lush. I haven’t travelled to South America yet and this is the perfect excuse!

Where is your happy place?

Honestly, anywhere (mostly) abroad where I can appreciate the beauty, locality, food and culture of a destination. I genuinely love travelling, so my happy place changes. Besides this, anywhere with my Pomapoo puppy Luna, she’s my forever happy place.

Your most memorable travel experience?

I loved South Africa. I visited Cape Town and Johannesburg. The thing that topped South Africa as potentially my favourite holiday is the beauty – the driving routes are absolutely incredible (but scary, the cliff-edges terrified me every single day!), while Cape Town as a place is eye-opening, particularly post-apartheid, and more so since I was travelling with my husband who is African. I’m particularly happy we now have some new hotels in this destination, and would certainly go back and drive the Garden Route to see more of the country and visit The Cellars-Hohenort, The Plettenberg, and The Marine.

Sorry, I also have to mention Bali. We visited for our honeymoon so it’s got to be top of the list. Balinese hospitality is just so lovely and not like anything I’ve experienced before. We stayed at Viceroy Bali and it’s a true gem!

Jemima O’Lone – Digital Content & Design Manager

Three fun facts about yourself…

I used to be a chef and for the last six years I have made hand-painted cakes for weddings and events.

I adore skiing and winter tends to revolve around when and where I am going.

Like many others in my team, I love dogs and always have my eyes open for my own – I’ll know when the right one comes along.

Which destination is top of your bucketlist?

Bhutan for this once in a lifetime itinerary.

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

Halcyon House for interiors and Dar Ahlam for the experience – apparently it is life changing.

Where is your happy place?

Meribel, France – where I lived for three winters. I try to visit every year and this year I was lucky enough to visit Le Coucou, a super stylish ski-in ski-out hotel. Look out for the beautiful mural of owls on the ceiling of the reception.

Your most memorable travel experience?

Touring the local cafés and eateries of Mumbai – my favourite city because it is so vibrant and full of life.  A must visit is Café Leopold, which is still littered with gunshot holes from the famous scene in the book Shantaram, unsuspecting Café Olympia where you will eat the most incredible food for £1 and Chowpatty beach for Pav Bhajis.

Chloe Frost-Smith – Digital Image & Content Executive

Three fun facts about yourself…

I was born in Hong Kong and spent my early childhood in Tokyo, Japan – my first holiday was to Bali when I was six weeks old (wish I could remember it!)

I studied Classics at university, which means I can read as many ancient languages as I can speak modern languages (in fact, I am probably more fluent in the ancient ones – useful, I know.)

I am an Advanced PADI scuba-diver and qualified shark specialist with dives logged all over the world, including the Maldives, Turks & Caicos islands, Saint Vincent & the Grenadines, Egypt, and Greece.

Which destination is top of your bucketlist?

It’s impossible to choose just one, so here are my top three:

Iceland – to ride ponies across black beaches with volcanic views.

Morocco – to shop the souks of Marrakech, and explore Chefchaouen (the Blue City) or Ouarzazate in the High Atlas Mountains, the gateway to the Sahara Desert.

Egypt – I still haven’t seen the pyramids (despite writing my dissertation on Cleopatra) and would love to take a trip down the Nile.

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

It would have to be Castello di Reschio – I dream of watching the weekly dressage performances in their Teatro Equestre, and would love to ride around the ancient Umbrian estate, followed by making my own pizza in an authentic alfresco class. I would also love to experience the Wild West at one of our American ranches, Rawah Ranch and Riverview Ranch both look incredibly rustic and rugged. In fact, any of our horse riding hotels would top my wish list.

Where is your happy place?

Underwater, on a horse, or on the slopes in a pair of skis (or one if you catch me after après hours…) When I’m on dry land, I am happiest on the beach in Southwold sharing fish and chips with my boyfriend and our new family puppy, Truffle.

Your most memorable travel experience?

Spotting a mother bear and her cub from a chairlift while skiing with my sister in Whistler, coming across dolphins on a cliff-walk off the coast of Ireland with my boyfriend, watching the sun rise over the temples at Angkor Wat in Cambodia, taking part in the early morning alms-giving ceremony with the local monks in Luang Prabang, swimming with sea turtles in the Tobago Cays, milking a buffalo in Laos in an all-white outfit (this did not end well), a beachfront yoga session on Petit St. Vincent, and living out my Gertrude Bell fantasies horse riding across the desert in Morocco with my father – sorry, there are too many to choose from!

Becky Underwood – Senior Marketing Manager

Three fun facts about yourself…

At the age of 14, I completed a World Challenge expedition to Tanzania, which involved climbing to the summit of Mount Meru, roaming the safari plains of the Ngorongoro Crater, dancing with the Maasai whilst learning about their customs, and completing local community projects such as rebuilding a primary school. This was a transformative experience as we were totally immersed in the culture, living alongside the villagers.

I’ve always been fascinated by architecture and property design and hope to be able to build my own house one day, perhaps I’ll even make it on to Grand Designs. For the time being, I’m still on the hunt for the perfect plot of land!

Back in 2009, I was awarded by Nottingham University for a piece of research carried out on the tourism industry and turtle conservation. A whole eight years later I planned my first trip to Costa Rica and was able to experience turtle conversation in person in Tortuguero National Park. It was magical observing newly hatched turtles dig their way to the surface of the nests and scuttle across the beach to the surf of the sea.

Which destination is top of your bucketlist?

I love the thought of completely switching off and escaping to the rugged and captivating scenery of Norway with just a backpack. In summer I’d explore by rail, kayak or boat, taking in the colourful towns and waterfalls dotted along the Fjords. Come winter I’d cosy up in a boutique hotel in front of a log burner or fire, master a snowmobile and experience my first taste of reindeer!

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

It’s close to home, but The Fish Hotel in the Cotswolds has been on my to visit list for a long time. Perhaps it’s the child in me, but I am desperate to escape back-to-nature and relax in one of their quirky hill-side huts and treehouses. For me the perfect stay just wouldn’t be possible without a soak in the outdoor bath or hot tub. Plus, it’s impossible not to be intrigued by a hideaway hut named ‘Boaty McBoatface’, which comes with its own private lake and island.

Where is your happy place?

There’s something that soothes my soul when I’m by the British coast. The waterways, small inlets and little villages surrounding Chichester are close to my family home, so I often escape to Bosham and Emsworth. The Deck is a great little restaurant overlooking a working yacht harbour, where you can settle in for hours over fish and chips or a coffee and cake. Then swing by the fishmongers to pick up a catch of the day for dinner.

Your most memorable travel experience?

The views from Santorini will never leave my memory. Whether it was an early morning breakfast on our balcony, or a lazy afternoon dip in the infinity pool, I was never able to divert my gaze away from the view of the Aegean Sea. So much so we took the caldera-edge pathway walk to Oia, over rough trails, to admire the captivating sea view. A particular highlight was the sunset boat ride we took in a traditional sailing boat, a great way to enjoy nature’s spectacle and to escape the crowds.

Clive Ritchie – Design Consultant

Three fun facts about yourself…

I brew my own kombucha, play keys and can walk with my feet pointing backwards.

Which destination is top of your bucketlist?

The remote atolls of the Pacific.

The one SLH hotel you’d like to visit, and why?

Pacific Resort Aitutaki, Cook Islands – I’m fascinated by remote islands and this ticks all the boxes.

Where is your happy place?

The lakes behind a town called Sedgefield on the Garden Route, near Cape Town where I spent my summer holidays as a kid.

Your most memorable travel experience?

A few days of bliss anchored at Tobago Cays in the Southern Caribbean on a catamaran – snorkelling around the reef and exploring nearby islands.

The post Meet the SLH Marketing Team appeared first on Small Luxury Hotels.

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[iceamericanoventi]

Blank Space - Chapter 7

Part 6

———————

Screaming, crying, perfect storms, I can make all the tables turn

Rose garden filled with thorns

Keep you second guessing like "Oh my God, who is she?"

I get drunk on jealousy

But you'll come back each time you leave

'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream

“Naah, I’m not going tonight.”

Jinki balanced his phone between his ear and shoulder while restarting the laptop in front of him.

“But you have skipped lots of gigs lately! That’s not fair.”

Taemin groans from the other side, anyone can tell he’s more than annoyed by his voice.

“How come it’s not fair? It’s not like I got paid doing nothing.”

“Mom said we shouldn’t count our good deeds but my dear brother, I got you famous. Remember?”

“Tell me once again, so you meant I should help myself for something I didn’t ask for? Do I look like God or what? It’s not my choice that I appeared charming to those people.”

Taemin snorts, “Wow. Look how cocky you are now.”

“I know right?” Jinki sure knows how to tease his brother.

“Come on, Jinki! You cannot do this to me. This supposed to be done by two people, not a lone troop!”

“Since when you got fancy words from your mouth? You may start writing your own music, baby brother!”

“Screw you and your girl!”

“Hey! Leave her alone! She has nothing to do with anything!”

“As if,” Taemin scoffed and kicked the foot of his bed, and thank God he wears his boots because the sound is not pretty, “You’ve been away from home more than three days. Everyone knows you will get it right away that you’re with her. I probably should tell Mom to hire a wedding planner as soon as possible.”

“The hell with you, Lee Taemin! I’m struggling to get my work done here and you’re out of the lash spreading some cheap rumor, does that sound supportive?”

Satisfied with his little revenge, Taemin’s ready to cut the call.

“Gotta go! I have no time for traitor! When I make it to place record with Minho, you will never get an autograph from me!”

Jinki cracks when he had no chance to say anything after Taemin left the line hanging on the other side.

“What happened?” Gwiboon asks when she returned from the bathroom.

“Taemin is such a little girl sometimes,” Jinki turned his head to the side and almost got a heart attack when he saw Gwiboon only wrapped with towel, thighs covered not even half, his mouth went dry with the view, “Ermm, can you not? How am I suppose to do if you.. you know, dress like that?”

She couldn’t believe what she just heard, “What do you expect from someone got off the bathroom? I just finished shower, not going to attend a banquet! You and you uncontrollable desire can be so handful sometime!”

When she walked across the room as if nothing happened, Jinki is more than convinced that the heat crept up his face is not because of room’s temperature. He shakes his head lightly, gave up with the circumstance, it’s Gwiboon’s room anyway.

Jinki camped there since four days ago. Initially, to finish some drawings since he needs to submit some draft by the beginning of next week. Initially. But what can he do when he only have limited space, 28 square meter to be exact, with the prettiest girl he ever encountered in his life who turned out having quite strange habit – if he might say – to take of her pants whenever she reached her room. However, this time he’s lucky enough to survive the trial. The other day when he sneaked inside her room after bribing the guard downstairs, Gwiboon open the door smiling so wide with oversized worn out t-shirt one sleeve fell of the shoulder showing perfect skin on it. The second she hugged him, he knew there’s nothing under that blessed piece of clothes.

Usually, Jinki will lock himself inside his room or move to the studio at the left wing at the campus which known to be a public hotel for the last year students. But lately, the studio is too crowded. Plus, Jonghyun will be there. Doesn’t matter how much he wants to resolve the cold treatment Jonghyun gave him since he found Jinki’s been going out with Gwiboon, the words just didn’t roll off his mouth and the urge to hide whenever Jonghyun in his sight is slightly bigger than his guts.

To think about it, it’s not Jonghyun’s fault to come out cold. Jinki’s the one who avoid him at the first time and somehow just lost his track on the way. On the other hand, as the nature of Kim Jonghyun, he doesn’t really care about his sister’s affair. Well, not that he wanted people to see it, though.

“Taemin’s okay? It’s been a while I didn’t see him. I think since he started to take the part time job as junior graphic designer at that lifestyle magazine.”

“Yeah, he’s barely home these days my Mom started to think to cross his name of her will. Tonight he has a gig, and he asked me to go with him.”

“So?”

Jinki looked to Gwiboon’s direction, her eyes saying why-you’re-still-here-then. He stretched his back a little bit, “I love singing but Taemin always loves it more. I used to go on the stage with him because he was scared. So I encourage him and offered to accompany him on some gigs. Now that he found his way, I don’t think he needs me anymore. Or maybe I’m just lazy.”

“So?" she repeated her word, "If I were you, I’d be so stressed if I stayed inside the house hours and hours without any break.”

She casually slips her panties whilst, judged by the tremble on his jaw, Jinki tried so hard tune down his heart beating, “Of course I get stressed. But going out there with my mind kept telling me that I still have so much to do make me even more stressed.”

Gwiboon walked closer to him, messed with his hair and kissed his side, “You should just go. Take a breath a bit.”

“By any chance, are you kicking me out?”

Contrary with her nice intention, Jinki’s voice raised from what it supposed to be. Gwiboon stoned on her ankles, her arms hung on the air for seconds before pushed down the big t-shirt and peeled the towel from her skin.

“Excuse me? I just said go out there for two or three hours, take some fresh air, it won’t hurt. You can go back whenever you want. I know you are a hard worker but that’s not how you do it. Since yesterday you’ve been staring on that screen not drawing any other line than two boxes on the left.”

When talking about details, Gwiboon is the best. And used to be Jinki’s major stalker, she owned a skill for collecting clues, information, and evidence with single glance only.

“Besides, I need to prepare the layout of the catalog for the fashion week. This room will turn into a sunken ship when I started to spread all those mock up dress. And I will have no more extra hand to cheer you up while your photoshop crashed for the nth time.”

Jinki let out bitter chuckles, “Wait, wait. Am I disturbing you?”

“Oh, here we go again. Don’t you get it? I am the one who afraid will disturb you with my works. I cannot use the studio because the first years are currently using it exclusively to prepare their class assessment. We are very busy and tensed with our projects, one of us should spare some common sense, and for this time I am volunteering myself to remind you that you’re too exhausted already.”

The dejected look on his face tells her that none of her words are taken.

“Don’t humor me, Gwiboon, you know it’s useless. You can just say that you want me to leave, I have no problem with that. But listened to you drive me out this way, doesn’t help. At all. What’s with the purposely soft tones? I’m not a baby who will easily get deceived with your lure.”

The second he finished his word, he mentally slit his throat for saying some stupid stuffs to Gwiboon. This must be nicotine deprivation, Jinki thought. The more he spent his time with Gwiboon, the more he didn’t smoke. She confiscated his cigarette right away whenever that thing appeared before them. For his own good, she said.

“Are you on your period or what? Or you just forgot to tell me that you are excessively sensitive over tiny things?”

Jinki rises from the small couch near the window where Gwiboon set up there to make second working space if her desk was too boring, collects his other belonging and shoved his laptop to his backpack.

“I had a feud with my best friend for nothing then, huh?”

“Come again?”

“Nothing.”

She grabbed his chin, forcing his eyes to be on the same level with her. She doesn’t look pleased at all.

“It’s your choice to stay or leave, Lee Jinki. I never once give you an order to detach yourself from your brother. OR MY BROTHER. It’s your damn choice!”

He removed her hand carefully from his face. As much as he mad at her right now, he doesn’t want to harm Gwiboon, “You already know what I said, huh? Why bother asking me then?”

She bites her inner cheek to calm her down before exploded into some mess.

“Are we having our first fight? Because if it’s so, I’m not. Something must be wrong with you. I just suggested you to take a break and you’re offended out of nowhere? What the hell!”

“Suggested? Seriously? This what you called suggestion? Pushing me away once you got bored on me so you can.. I don’t know.. maybe hangout with some random dude you like the usual infamous Kim Gwiboon? Do I look like fucking spare-part for you?”

Restless with the atmosphere, he accused her for something which actually only happened in his mind due to his own paranoia. It’s not like Gwiboon uncomfortable with his presence so close to her. The truth is, it was the first for Gwiboon, having someone sharing the same air under her roof more than 24 hours besides Jonghyun. Not even Minho. Before this, Jinki only spent the night and went back to his sanctuary in the morning for the next two or three days before his voice greeted her again on the phone or the door of her studio. It feels new. Feels a little bit foreign.

And beyond that, Gwiboon had been skipping her bistro duty for some days. Her father started to interrogate her and she ran out of excuses already.

“Why you always turn everything into some scenario that I’m a whore who supposed to be very guilty by your denunciation and you're the poor man who made terrible mistake by being with me?”

Jinki's heart flopped to the end of his abdomen, which at this moment seems bottomless. She's not crying. Unlike the first time he accused her of doing some shit. But the torn eyes stared sternly to his own tells him everything more than she would say by words.

“Tell me what my fault is for you always suspect me doing something behind your back.”

Gwiboon has a trust issue. However, apparently, Jinki has bigger one. He didn’t mean to say say something hurtful. It’s his automatic self-defense whenever he felt insecure, which he hopes he never had intention to ever do that. Seeing how it goes right now, it’s more like a boomerang instead of a shield.

“Shit.”

He unconsciously took a pack of cigarette on his jacket pocket and light it up right away while he still gathering his stuff. And Gwiboon is not pleased with the view, but this time she restrained her hands to snatch it away.

“You think you’re allowed to smoke here?”

“Some douchebags might as well smoked on those countless nights, am I right?”

“Just leave when you finished writing the novel inside your head.”

Once again, she didn’t cry. She just left Jinki standing awkwardly there and rushed to the bathroom before she slammed the door so hard, Jinki can feel soft wind sweep his cheek when it swung closed.

He wanted to leave, but he just can’t. So he marches to the bathroom door and knocked it with all his might.

“Gwiboon, I’m so sorry. I’m really sorry.”

He realized he crossed the line, but for Gwiboon is way too late. She’s not the nicest girl in the world, she knew that. But it doesn’t give him right to judge her for whatever seemed favorable to him at the moment.

Gwiboon promised herself not to cry again over a man. But Lee Jinki seems to be an exception. When she heard light steps leaving the room, she melts down on the cold tiled floor.

***

“Kim Gwiboon!”

She adjusted the silk and put the last pin on the tall model in front of her before stepped back and observed the model’s waist line. The model turns around when she asked, but when she faced her again, something’s still off and she can only shake her head in disappointment.

“Yaa! Kim Gwiboon!”

She let out subtle growl and tells the model to have fifteen minutes break.

“This hall is exclusive for the fashion design department, you ogre!”

“I am part of the lighting design! That makes me 100% allowed around here!”

She rolled her eyes out of habit, “Can you see I’m busy?”

“You’re not the only one!” Minho flails a piece of paper in front of her face, “You got two hours. Maximum two and half.”

She scanned the paper and got blood rushed to her head, “Are you guys out of your mind? How can I get only two hours?”

“Your girls are going to walk no more than one hour!”

“But to make a perfect one hour walk you need lots of time of rehearsing! You think it’s easy to walk down the stage while hundreds eyes anchored to you ready to scream out tiny mistake you accidently made? You people are so shallow!”

Minho sighed, as if knowing this is exactly what would happen, “Don’t throw your tantrum on me! I just delivered lighting schedule.”

“Oh now you turned into a messenger after some important lighting designer is not giving you sort of privilege you wanted?” Gwiboon jumped of the stage to be on the same eye level with her best friend, more than five years he knows him, he still awed by her ability to jump and run on heels, “Who is in charge with this shit? I need at least one whole night to check everything, Mangoooo.”

Embarrassed by the nickname he raised his hand right away, “I got you a whole night but it can only be done on Wednesday.”

“I’ll take Wednesday! I can finish everything this Sunday! Or even Saturday! On Monday and Tuesday it would be only the final touch.”

“Wednesday? What about your bistro duty?”

Obvious frown appeared on her pale face, Minho really wants to help but he has no idea what he should do.

“Gwiboon?”

“I’ll take Wednesday! I’m taking double shift this weekend.”

Saturday and Sunday supposed to be her quality control day, Minho knows it very well, “Are you in your right mind? That won’t do. I know your tailor schedule. You need to asses bunch of sample those days!”

“Let me take care of myself. All I need from you is make the whole Wednesday for me and my crew. Exclusively. Can you do that?”

Minho can only sighed, he took out a pen and scribbled something on his notepad, “Remind me to send you the loading’s rundown tomorrow night.”

“You’re the best!”

And Gwiboon just flew back to her station leaving Minho with his mixed feeling.

***

“One salmon and one lamb for the table 5! Two pouched pear for table 18! Last one!”

“Thank God.”

Gwiboon wiped her forehead and headed back to her station. Though the bistro belongs to her father, she’s still under the sous chef – sous chef’s assistant as he introduced her for the first time – making her jam-packed with rage toward the way of her father’s thinking. It’s Friday night, all tables are booked and orders keep coming to the kitchen, leaving her to hours without even rest her finger down. She had been purposely avoiding weekend previously. However, since the next two weeks she wouldn’t be able to do her duty, the schedule needs to be rearranged. And it costs her two cuts on her finger and one dessert plate smashed to the ground.

The head chef’s clearly not happy with that.

“Kim Gwiboon, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Yes, Chef!”

She immediately entailed him to the vegetable’s stockroom.

“Are you okay?”

He asked once the door completely shut behind her.

“Of course, Chef. I’m just tired.”

“You sure?” she looked at her left hand with two fingers wrapped in rubber protector, “I don’t care what’s your father intention suddenly putting you here. What I care is all my employees are present 100%. And you, my little friend, no matter how you hate this, you never disappointed me before. You worked hard like a horse. Well, at least before tonight.”

“I’m sorry, Chef.”

“I remembered thirteen years ago you wore that apron which too big for you that time, it looked like a dress instead. You were running around the kitchen helping me carrying the bell peppers. I wonder where that little girl had gone.”

She’s completely not aware where this conversation is going to end and decided not to say anything until the man before her asking her opinion.

“The point is, Gwiboon,” somehow he seemed able to catch the confusion roaming the air, “Don’t force yourself. I know this is like volunteer work for you. I know I cannot help but asking you to keep attending your schedule. But if you need a break while on duty, asked. We’re in this kitchen may not your preferable family. But we’re a family here. We’re a team. And lesson number one, team always got your back.”

Funny how some people that she supposed to be her least favorite person turned out so much better than some people bonded by blood. Turned out, not everyone in this world had heart and head as tiny as sesame seed. Overwhelmed with so much compassion she thought she doesn’t deserve, small rivers ran down her cheeks instinctively.

“Take your time as much as you want. We’re closing the kitchen in five minutes, so don’t you worry, kid.”

Gwiboon can only nod weakly when he tapped her shoulder lightly while passing her. Once the door closed again, she moved to the stool in the corner and drown her face in both hands. Shoulder shaking hard indicating how bad she breaks down even she didn’t make any voice.

It’s been ten days she hasn’t heard anything from Jinki. Every single night passed with the longing to reach the phone and dial his number buried among her doubts and anxiety. Whenever she found her hand stretching to the side of her night desk, she convinced herself not to be a fool for Jinki left that night by his own will. She didn’t kick him out. She didn’t push him away. And history told her not to bother begging people coming back to her pathetic life.

Presumably life is a fast food restaurant and they order the same happy meal, in his room, Jinki sit on his mattress, rejecting Jonghyun who two days ago started talking to him again as if nothing ever happened between them and his invitation to become his wingman, both knees flushed to his chest while phone laid in front of his feet, inviting him to grab it in any second.

Since the first step Jinki made outside Gwiboon’s door that night, he’d been walking on earth with guilty mocking him on both sides of his head. He wanted to run back upstairs once he reached the ground floor of Gwiboon’s building. However the fear of being really chased away after his stupid mistake took over everything.

He wanted to apologize, told her he’s sorry and beg her not to leave him but then reality knocked him out. Who do you think you are, Lee Jinki? They never define what they are. Never labeling what kind of the relationship they’re having. In Jinki’s mind, he has no right to asking Gwiboon to forgive him. Supposed it would be the easiest thing to do to someone he cares a lot. Who knows the hardest thing in the world is realizing you hurt them even if you kept telling yourself you didn’t mean it?

Jinki pressed the home button of his phone. The screen tells him the day will soon turn Saturday. After five minutes contemplating if it’s polite to visit someone’s house in such hour, he put his jeans haphazardly. Snatching his jacket and key’s car from his desk, he dashed out his room almost like lightning.

***

‘Remember, Kim Gwiboon. You’re more than welcome here. If you had something in mind, let me know. I cannot lie to your father and cover your absence but as long as you’re in my kitchen, both my ears are open to everything you want to say.’

The words from the head chef rings beautifully inside her mind. The first time she saw him more than decade ago, she knew already that he is a very kind person despite his harsh words while on duty. If only she didn’t fall in love to fashion first, she must be willingly to be taken under his wing in his father’s bistro.

“Sir, take the left street, please. There’s a new small bar at front, they occupied more than half of the street every Friday and Saturday.”

Without saying anything, the taxi driver headed to the left as instructed. She found out she’s not in her right mind she might kill herself on the way if she insisted to drive back home. Gwiboon decided to leave her car at back of the bistro since she will be back again on Sunday anyway. And she can always take the bus or taxi to visit her tailor’s place tomorrow. Well, technically today since it’s almost one in the morning.

Tomorrow, tomorrow might be the last time she will ever visit her tailor again. Tomorrow might be the last time she can joke around with her, share some latest gossip, and sketch ideas together and argue which color or type of fabric they can use for their next collaboration. She’s a married woman with one son, twelve years older than Gwiboon but in her she found her best friend. Her girl best friend she never had since the other girls at the university only see her as a competitor. She decides she will tell Amber she's going to move soon after she finished this semester. It will be hard but her grandmother will be sad if she kept weeping like any other day.

"We’re here, Miss.”

“Uh, right, sorry,” she was drowning in her thought, didn’t realize the car has stopped five minutes ago, “Here. Thank you so much, drive safely, Sir.”

She went out the taxi hesitantly for being at her own house is the last thing she wants now. However, too tired to even mentally curse herself, she didn’t even realize there’s another sound of car’s door being slammed.

“Kim Gwiboon.”

She’s about to pushed the gate when a voice recites her name almost inaudible but beautifully. A voice she knew by heart. A voice she missed the most. Timidly, she turned herself to the source, almost afraid she’s still dreaming in a short nap during the ride home. But he’s there, standing weakly next to his car, losing his strong presence which Gwiboon fell for the very first time they met.

She wants to throw her shoes to him for what he said to her the last day she saw his face. She wants to bust his nose with her purse for what he did to her. Those desires nevertheless left her soul instantly when she found his face looked as awful as hers and a pair of eyes mirroring her own sadness.

Without ado, she sprinted to his spot and threw herself on his chest which the latter response by wrapping her weary figure with his arms. His heart shrunk when he felt tears seeping through the thin material of his t-shirt, making him tighten his embrace straightaway. Without her heels, Jinki can bury his nose on the top of her head and breathe in her trademark vanilla scent as much as he want, in substitute for the past days it was missing from his life.

They stay chest to chest for the longest time, indulged each other presence, sharing the warmth left on their skin in the coldness of the night, letting their hearts do the talk.

Jinki couldn’t help but break the silent first.

“I’m sorry, Baby..”

This time, it’s Gwiboon’s turn to tighten her embrace.

***

crossed-post already to my AFF      

Part 8                              

[saruteku]

Breath of the Wild Review

Breath of the Wild is the launch title for the Nintendo Switch as well as the Death Marker for the Wii U. It was one of the most hyped games when it was announced and promised to be completely different than the average Zelda title completely destroying it’s own formula. But you already know this. This is my view of the game with it’s strong points and weak points.

Graphics: 7/10 The graphical style works for a Zelda game. It is a midpoint between Windwaker’s cartoony style which makes the game seem childish and Twilight princess’ more realistic style which made it serious. BOTW is a game that can put you at ease with a lot of it’s beautiful scenery or it can put the fear of god in you when there are suddenly 5 Guardian Beams pointed at you. This lets the game be dorky and carefree as well as serious, plus the game would probably have been unable to handle Twilight Princess level graphics with such a huge world.

Music: 4/10 For a zelda game it was rather....Underwhelming. None of it’s track really grabbed me and pulled me in, there is nothing I want to look up. It was nice hearing a few tributes to other game songs, but it really wasn’t enough. And one thing that honestly annoys me to this day. With so many of Ocarina of Time’s tracks being used WHY WAS GERUDO VALLEY NEVER REMADE OR TRIBUTED TO!!!

Story: 4/10 Remember. I love the Zelda Franchise and games, but I couldn’t let this one slide. The story was extremely generic, probably due to it being an open world which is rather hard to make a story for. Most of the story is shown threw memories which, surprising for a Zelda Game has voice acted cutscenes, but without saying who’s who we have the Silent Hero as always, the “I can’t do this” girl, the I’m scared man, I love you always, ect, all rather boring characters with little real personality. I wish I could have known them a bit better but the NPCs you meet in every city have more substance than the mains.

Combat: 9/10 I HAVE NEVER DIED SO MUCH IN A ZELDA GAME!!!! Fighting isn’t like in other games at all. Usually you get your sword and shield and cut slice threw everyone or you use your special item to solve an obvious puzzle weakness. in this one you need to consider things before you run in. Arrows aren’t as easy to stockpiled as say Skyrim, every sword, shield, and bow breaks meaning even the iconic Master Sword and Hylian Shield will not save your ass forever, and the enemies do not have any item specific weaknesses except the Shikah Slate Runes you get in the begining of the game. Even as a 3 heart hero with a tree branch and a pot lid if you are skilled enough you can attack stronger foes and kill them, nothing is locked out, it’s just hard as hell. In this game even if your weapons and armor get stronger it’s only half of the battle, as everything you have that makes you stronger you EARNED and if can be taken if you are reckless.

The World: 8/10 The world is fucking huge. Some people may view the emptiness as a bad thing but the emptiness actually really add to the world. Yes, travel is annoying at times. We all side jumped to fast travel in the 64 titles, and the mountains can be a huge annoyance, especially when nature decides to start raining when you’re half way up, but with all of the Shrines and towers there are a lot of fast travel points when you discover them, allowing Nintendo to show off the world they created as well as not annoy players after they have already seen parts of it. Everything is available from the get go. You don’t need special items to unlock the power of the Great Fairies, the Master Sword or even to get to Ganon, they meant it when they said if you can see it you can get to it. This made me wonder about how the bountries of the map would be but players are stopped by mountains that are impossible to climb and oceans you can’t cross. The world itself also adds it’s own challanges including temperature, weather (Getting struck by lightning isn’t fun, but it can be weaponized) and the elements, as Fire spreads and the before mentioned lightning.

Dungeons: 5/10 It’s kinda hard to call them dungeons as this is another things that was changed from the normal formula. It’s more the entire world is a giant dungeon as getting to the Divine Beasts has it’s own challenges and trials, and honestly once you found out the puzzles in the game once they are simple as a lot of puzzle elements are reused quite a bit. Same as with Shrines as there are a ton of them and they each offer a different challenge, but they just aren’t that big, that hard, or honestly that interesting. I do miss the well planned out bigger dungeons, but hey, it gives you the stronger weapons, something of great use in this game. I gave it 5 because it’s nostalgia combating the changes.

Gameplay: 9/10 I’ll be honest, the cooking alone is brilliant. It’s not a menu based one and the food you make can be completely controlled. exacally as many hearts as you need, as strong a buff as you need, and Elixers help you not waste your precious heart regenerating items. Next is the clothing which gives link a lot of versitility not seen in other games. He has more than just water breathing and heat resistence, climbing faster, being stronger, seeing the exact number of an enemies health. Stealth is useful (The Shiekah Armor is my armor of choice in this game) and even though this could have been in combat stealth kills, perfect counter, flurry attack, the small additions in the game allow you to exist in the world, and the thing I love more than anything in a game is immersion, and though BOTW has nowhere near as much immersion as Skyrim Link can own a house, help build a town, camp (Kinda) and take selfies. The one reason I cut down gameplay is because, at least in my case, I can never 100 percent beat the game because one of my shrines crash the game, and sometimes in combat I get a framedrop so bad I freeze up making dodging hard. It seems to have only happened against Guardians which makes it a bit worse, but since it seems I can reproduce the issues and they aren’t common they don’t destroy playability.

Final score: 6.5/10

That’s all I can think of for now. I will not say it is the best game ever, but it is a great title for 2017, and an amazing Zelda game dispite the story and the ending in my opinion lacking

[thelongestdamnreviews]

Victor Vran

For once, starting with the final stats.  Because it’s also a title screen!

I bought Victor Vran in a Humble Bundle some time ago, though it was featured in a $1 tier recently.  According to my final stats, I finished the game at level 36 after 15 and a half hours, also after dying 44 times.  I cleared 92 of the challenges and found 44 map secrets.  I played the entire game with the Xbox 360 controller, in offline/solo mode, on Normal difficulty.  

Zagoravia is your typical fantasy 18th century European castle town--brickwork, festivals, housing districts, demonic invasion...  Victor Vran is here to save the day!  With his fancy hat!  And this voice in his head that keeps making comments and taunting him?  

Perfect ambiance.  

Victor Vran is a different kind of Diablolike.  I don't have a console so this was only the second one I've played with controller support ever, though there is a growing number that have it as an option.  There's a large emphasis on movement and evasion.  Levels are not 2D planes with built-up structures to give it depth--you can actually jump over low walls and wall jump into different areas, or just jump to evade attacks or free yourself from getting cornered.  Victor only moves at one speed, so the dodge roll is essential to get a small burst of speed because it by default confers no bonuses, like adding defense or letting you use invulnerability frames to pass through attacks.  

One thing that sets the game apart from others like it is the lack of classes.  After the tutorial, you're given your choice of Outfits which affect how your Overdrive (mana) is generated/retained along with some provided stats like Health and Armor, but you can freely switch between them once you've found or earned a second set of threads.  There are no stats to put points into or skills to waste points on to boost another further down the tree.  When you level up, you gain a specific reward, like unlocking the second weapon slot or a bump in stats like HP or Destiny Card capacity, and so on.  You invest in just your gear as opposed to both character and gear this time around, and that's where the diversity comes in--you eventually have two weapons to instantly switch from, two Demon Powers, two consumable potions/bombs, five Destiny Card slots, and your Outfit--all of those combine to make your build.  And you can freely switch from a cast-heavy mage to a melee tank or whatever so long as you have the gear to support both of those roles.  

But the diversity feels shallow in a way.  Every weapon has three attacks, a basic and two special attacks with cooldowns.  Every weapon of the same class has the same three attacks--a Scythe will always have the basic swing, the stunning wave, and the spin attack, regardless of its rarity or affixes.  The only exception is Legendary items and they only put a spin on some attacks.  The only Legendary weapon I found, the Chicken Cannon grenade launcher, fired three basic shots at different distances in short succession but the other two attacks were just like every other grenade launcher in the game.  Same with spells--Boomerang will fire a medium-range projectile forward and have it return to you, with the only variations being its damage per second and its effect radius.  It's not entirely bad--you get used to a weapon's attacks and the comparison between two weapons of the same type comes down to solely stats.  It's always stats.  

Voice is always helpful.  

But not to say that player skill doesn't matter.  It felt like I took more damage per hit than in other Diablolikes, and with healing potions stuck on a cooldown timer, I didn't always have the ability to heal when I really needed it.  I didn't go for a tank build either, so I'd consider this another game where you need to pay attention to how the enemy attacks so you can mitigate as much damage as possible and still kill your foes.  The Essence of Rock monster, for example, can attack at range with rocks that fly in an arc and make an area impact.  If you approach it in melee, it has a short combo where it attacks a small area in front of it.  So one strategy is to get close, bait it into using its melee attack while you dodge roll to its side and lay into it before it can react.  Some weapons have 'split timing' where you press the attack button in a rhythm to guarantee a status effect instead of just holding down the button, and some weapons have neat self-synergies.  For example, the sword causes Vulnerable (next attack crits) with its basic combo, and one of the specials recharges when you crit...even when you use said power to land that crit.  

Each map has their own optional challenges, like killing X many monsters in Y amount of time, or using one monster's self-destruct feature to kill other monsters, or killing a boss with Hexes active without using Demon Powers or shrines...or just finding all of the hidden chests in the map.  Each map challenge awards gold, EXP, or items when completed, so they're worth at least attempting.  You can easily reset the map and unfinished challenges from the menu, so that was a nice feature.  You also unlock Hexes during level up, further optional challenges that alter enemies while granting you more EXP and items.  One makes them hit harder, one makes them move and attack faster, one gives them enhanced defenses and natural HP regen...  Some maps call for one or more Hex active for some challenges, and you are given rewards for using Hexes after so many kills.  Having all five active makes the game pretty difficult, though I stuck with three almost the entire game.  

Early challenges are naturally easy.  Some require you to rush to fight the boss and hope the tide of mooks you cut through don't catch up...

You know how in most Diablolikes, items rain down and it's your job to pick through it all and make repeated trips to town to sell the junk?  I didn't have that experience in Victor Vran.  Because of the page-based nature of the inventory, I never figured out what the maximum you could carry for any one category was.  I only returned to town when I finished a map and I either transmuted or sold off everything below Rare in quality on equips and I never touched Demon Powers or Destiny Cards.  I honestly bought quite a bit of stuff from the vendors--my final melee weapon of choice came from a store even--and in my past experiences with other Diablolikes, I usually stop checking stores past the first part of the game because their offerings are meager versus what monsters drop.  I have to say that it was actually kinda refreshing to not have to stop the action every few minutes to sort the keepers from the crap, but then I also didn't have any +item gear equipped apart from the Hexes.  

Controls for the most part worked out well.  Left stick to move, right stick controls camera (no zooming unfortunately), camera largely didn't hamper me at all.  I only had issue with a couple of wall jumps because it seemed like if I tried it on a wall that wasn't fully solid or angled right, I'd just jump against the wall and not rebound.  It was a little temperamental but it was the exception as opposed to the norm, thankfully.  I had trouble with using the inventory with a controller, especially with shops.  Trying to check your currently active Destiny Cards without the cursor deciding it wanted to check your inventory was a bit of a chore--one of the times where I'd use the mouse instead.  The currently-targeted enemy has a glowing mark under them, but I found that I had to steer Victor towards my intended target in melee a few times because he seems to prioritize by proximity.  Ranged combat is also a bit of a chore if you're facing multiple targets and want to focus on one since you have the same glowing circle to go by.  I imagine those using keyboard and mouse wouldn't have as much an issue.  

I had a couple of slowdowns even in the hub level safezone, so I wound up bringing the graphics to Low early on.  I don't think it really affected anything, and you're zoomed out enough that you can't check out details anyway.  Game ran at 60FPS except when I got mobbed hard in a few zones, and the cutscenes run at 30.  They're of the "slightly moving still image" variety as opposed to full FMVs.  And since I'm already kinda talking about it, the story's pretty basic.  There's a demon invasion--go kill everything and get loot.  The narrator and Victor will make comments at certain points, but nowhere near the frequency of Bastion or Transistor.  There isn't a lot of voicework overall especially considering the small cast, but you're here to kill things, not listen to the townspeople.  The music was pretty ambient, nothing terribly memorable apart from the town theme, and it wasn't anything I was muting either.  

You already want the rarest of rare items, but Legendary items in Victor Vran perform a little differently on top of their stats scaling to your level.  

I enjoyed the game, a few hiccups aside.  It's nice to have such an active take on a genre I'm pretty familiar with, where instead of just clicking and getting into the fray and kiting, I can actually jump and roll and rocket jump out of harm's way.  And actually clear those insurmountable waist-high fences for once!  There's currently an expansion based on Motorhead in the works, so I think I'll come back to see what all that adds.  And maybe try multiplayer or the bonus dungeons, or maybe a few of those challenges I didn't clear the first time?  

[waynekelton]

The Best Games Like Diablo for Android & iOS

Diablo. It’s one of the most popular, successful, and beloved gaming franchises in the world. The very first entry came out in 1996 and it and its two successors defined the huge hack-and-slash action-RPG genre that exists today. The franchise is known for its story-driven campaign, fast-paced combat, diverse class options, and deep skill trees. Diablo III is the very model of a comprehensive gear system that allows for some serious min-maxing along with ample end-game content for gamers who don't mind the grind.

This list was originally mean't to serve as a way to fill that Diablo hole in your life, but we've known for a while now that an official Diablo spin-off game is coming to mobile called Diablo: Immortal. It was announced at BlizzCon 2018 to a very mixed reaction. Nothing further was heard about it till BlizzCon 2019, where Blizzard announced some new content for the beta. It's still not got an official release window - maybe 2020, if we're lucky? But the company don't appear to be in any rush to get this out the door.

Here's what you can play in the meantime while you wait...

Barbearian (Review)

Developer: Kimmo Lahtinen Platform: iOS Universal Price: $8.99

2018 has seen the release of a couple games that have earned a place on this list and Barbearian is foremost among them. Barbearian features frenetic fights against death-defying odds, a combat style that is very reminiscent of Diablo III. You charge into and through huge hordes of enemies and send their lifeless bodies flying in every direction. These fast-paced battles are about where the similarities end. The game follows a story but is driven by its action and does not have the quest lines associated with standard RPGs. Nevertheless, it's a heck-of-a-lot-of fun and I got over fifteen hours of entertainment out of completing all of the content. I gave it five stars in my review and recommend you check it out for a lot more on why Barbearian is great. 

Battleheart 2 (Review)

Developer: Mika Mobile Platform: iOS Universal and Android Price: $3.99

Also new this year, Battleheart 2 picks up where the original Battleheart game left off seven years ago. It features real-time combat where you control up to four characters, chosen from a variety of options, in a series of battles to gain loot and experience. As you level up you unlock new skills and talents to enhance those skills. There's also a variety of gear and four different slots in which to equip it. This creates some opportunity for Diablo-like min-maxing. Battleheart 2, unlike its predecessor, offers a co-operative mode for up to four players along with an Arena mode where you face down wave after wave of enemies to see how far you can get. This is simplified version of Diablo III's rift system. An unintentional game mode has also arisen: AFK (away from keyboard) Arena. Astute min-maxers have realized that Cyrus, the necromancer, raises skeletons from the dead that automatically lock onto and attack the nearest enemy without any player intervention. An optimized Cyrus can go deep into the Arena without any help from the player. If that doesn't speak to the spirit of Diablo III, I'm not sure what does. 

Crashlands (Review)

Developer: Butterscotch Shenanigans Platform: iOS Universal and Android Price: $6.99

Crashlands is a survive/craft/explore game where you play as an intergalactic UPS driver who crashed on an alien world. You must figure out how to survive and get yourself, and your precious packages, off the planet and on your way. What does Crashlands have to do with Diablo? It's the combat and gear. Pretty much everything you come across is looking to kill you and it is best to wheel around and shake and bake, all the while attacking with your homemade arsenal of weaponry. Even more similar is the game's surprisingly expansive gear system. Flux, the game's main character, rocks a primary weapon, four secondary devices (bombs, flamethrowers, freeze rays, that kind of thing), four trinkets that provide various bonuses, and four armor pieces. All of this equipment provides bonuses to damage, critical hits, move speed and more along with providing special abilities like life drain, stunning your target, and a whole lot more. She also has the power of Juicemancy at her disposal, which allows you to optimize your gear by upgrading it and rerolling stats until you get the stats you want. Crashlands is a fantastic game and merges the exploration and crafting of Minecraft with the combat and gear optimization of Diablo III. 

Titan Quest (Review)

Developer: Dot Emu Platform: iOS Universal and Android Price: $6.99

For those looking for the traditional RPG quests and storyline, Titan Quest is the most Diablo-like you can get on a tablet. It started on the PC as an attempt to replicate the success of Diablo II and was later ported to iOS and Android. Set in the ancient, pre-Roman world it also has solid loot acquisition—there are over 1200 items which can be enhanced with runes. There are also diverse skill trees, called masteries, from which you pick two. The masteries essentially decide your class and provide some great variation, customizability, and high replay value to the game. The mobile version of the game has had plenty of issues—including frame rate and saved game issues—but it is still one of the better Diablo-like titles.

Bastion

Developer: Supergiant Games Platform: iOS Universal Price: $4.99

Action RPGs are frequently known less for story and ambiance than, well, the action. Bastion, the debut title from Supergiant Games, is different. Bastion’s story—set after the Calamity, a devastating event that shattered the city of Caelondia—is amazing. You play as the Kid; a survivor skilled in the ways of the new, violent world. The Kid meets a man named Rucks who directs efforts to collect the cores that once fuelled Caelondia and rebuild a bit of what was lost. Rucks also serves as the game’s outstanding narrator, who gives both play-by-play and color commentary on the Kid’s every action and every mistake. Bastion’s soundtrack is perfect, and its graphics are still impressive after all these years. The action is fast-paced and chaotic very much like the Diablo games. There are various weapons from which to choose, though gear plays a smaller role in Bastion. This is definitely the game for you if you value the action and production values of Diablo over its loot and min/maxability. 

Rogue Wizards (Review)

Developer: Spellbind Studios Platform: iOS Universal Price: Free ($5 Gem Drops x 2 IAP recommended)

If you're looking for dungeon-delving action and gear optimization of Diablo III without the real-time pressure, Rogue Wizards is the perfect game for you. It features a great deal of variation in gear and slots in which to equip it, a town with upgradeable shops from which to buy and sell, and even a Treasure Goblin. Rogue Wizards feature a strong storyline, but the turn-based combat is king. Once you've completed the quests, there's still plenty to do in the game's Gauntlet mode, a high-score chasing dungeon where you see just how far you can go. The game is free-to-play and the monetization is easy to ignore if so desired, though I recommend the "Gem Drops x 2" IAP which brings progression in line with the premium Steam version. I’ve already written quite a bit about the Rogue Wizards, and its monetization, and you can check out my five-star review and game guide for more. 

Eternium

Developer: Making Fun, Inc. Platform: iOS Universal and Android Price: Free (with IAP)

One of the closest games to Diablo III on mobile is Eternium. You play as an adventurer—a mage, warrior, or bounty hunter—on a quest to stop Ragadam, an ancient evil, from bringing an apocalyptic plan to fruition. The adventure hops between multiple planets in the universe and you’ll face dragons, aliens and more deadly creatures. You collect companions as you go to help you face the increasingly dangerous foes in your path. Both you and your companions will gain new and varied powers as you level, which you cast by drawing symbols on the battlefield. 

Gear is a huge consideration in Eternium, and there is a ton of it. As in Diablo, you can equip something on nearly every major body part and each piece of gear has several attributes that enhance your abilities. The game also features gems, which can be combined into even better gems and slotted into items for bonuses. Eternium even duplicates Diablo’s features that allow you to add sockets to equipment that doesn’t have it, collect sets of gear, and reroll an attribute for an item.

Eternium is a free-to-play game and uses gems as its primary currency. The game is well balanced, you don’t need to buy gems in order to play but can do so to unlock certain quality-of-life options faster. I spent $5 to get an additional companion slot earlier and more character storage space, for example. You can watch optional ads for more gems and there is a setting to turn them off entirely for those who want to avoid the temptation.

The campaign is extensive and Eternium also includes a series of special “trials”, think rifts from Diablo. Gameplay is good but nowhere near as great as Blizzard's series. That’s a high bar to clear, however, and Eternium will definitely scratch the itch on your mobile device.

What would your list of favourite Diablo-like games look like? Let us know in the comments!

The Best Games Like Diablo for Android & iOS published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[recentanimenews]

ONINAKI Lets You Confront Grief in a Unique Way

In all my years of playing video games, I’ve found that the games I enjoy the most fall into one of three categories. First, of course, are the big budget AAA games―the attention grabbing titles forged from having millions and millions of dollars funnelled into their development (and marketing). It comes as no surprise when these games are good after months and months worth of footage and impressions have already circulated. Next are the beautiful disasters. These are the games so erroneously awful that they somehow loop back around and become outrageously entertaining. A rare breed of game for sure, but a fun one nonetheless.

  The types of games that make up the third category, though, are the ones nearest and dearest to my heart. These games release with little fanfare and acclaim. Their graphics and gameplay are rarely anything to write home about and their fan bases are quite small. The fans they do have, though, are passionate ones. Whatever they might lack in polish and development funds, to their fans they more than make up for it with their ambitious ideas and unique stories. These games are the raw gemstones of the video game industry. Underneath all the rough, jagged edges a captivating game can be found. ONINAKI―the latest game from Square Enix and Tokyo RPG Factory on Steam, Switch, and PS4―is one of these games.

      Death is held in high regard in the world of ONINAKI, such so that grief is strictly forbidden. Grief shackles the spirits of the dead to the world of the living. Unable to reincarnate, these spirits are known as the Lost. Should the Lost continue to wander in this form, they’ll eventually transform into monsters known as the Fallen. Rare individuals who can travel between the worlds of the living and the dead are known as Watchers. These Watchers aide in the cycle of reincarnation by eliminating the Fallen and ushering the Lost onto their next lives. It’s in this world that ONINAKI sets its sights on Kagachi―a stoic Watcher well-acquainted with grief. A chance encounter with an ageless girl named Linne and the vengeful spirit pursuing her sets Kagachi off on a bloody journey to discover the truth about reincarnation.

  From the outset there are noticeable conflicts happening within ONINAKI. The first is between the game’s art style and its actual content. The game is presented in a beautiful 3D quasi-chibi style not unlike Bravely Default. It’s textures can look rather flat and its environments angular, but there’s a certain quality to the lighting that gives it a realistic sense of depth. This combination gives its world and characters an overall cute, toy-like appearance. Imagine my surprise, then, when the game’s tutorial chapter concluded with me executing a pair of grief-stricken parents who were mourning the death of their son. 

    ONINAKI is a game that’s infatuated with death, and as such treads in some rather dark territory. The Watchers’ order exists less to protect the citizens of the realm than it does to uphold the tenets of reincarnation. This can mean anything from stopping “unsanctioned killings” at the hands of monsters and serial killers to euthanizing the sick and assisting the hopeless in committing suicide. The game never clearly attempts to comment on these controversial topics or the debates being held over them around the world. It instead simply presents them as the natural result of a religious order that worships death. 

  Death and reincarnation as objects of worship are central to the other major conflict within ONINAKI. Though there are specific, named enemies Kagachi finds himself in conflict with throughout the game’s story, the ultimate conflict Kagachi faces is between himself and his faith in reincarnation. That much is fairly obvious from the beginning, but the twists and turns that take place throughout the story and the conclusions he’s ultimately led to are best left experienced by oneself. 

      My feelings on the story by the end were honestly pretty mixed. ONINAKI’s premise is novel and intrigued me instantly. The game’s gradual worldbuilding felt like a breadcrumb trail made up of bits and pieces of truth about the world that led all the way to the story’s final big reveal. It was a rewarding experience that had me constantly on the hook for the next morsel of information. It unfortunately fumbles, though, when it comes to writing Kagachi. He’s a bland and boring character in a game that lacks a party of lively personalities to make up for his lack of one. It’s hard to ever understand what he’s thinking, so his eventual moments of “character growth” come across less as believable actions and more things he has to do because he’s the hero. That combined with some pacing issues in the game’s second half are the biggest issues in an otherwise pretty good story.

  Still, though, a good story on its own probably isn’t enough to recommend. Luckily, it doesn’t have to be, because ONINAKI is actually pretty fun to play too! When not experiencing the story, players will be running around 3D areas battling hordes of Fallen with spiritual weapons called Daemons. Daemons are rare beings who were unable to reincarnate yet too strong-willed to become Fallen. Only elite Watchers are able to possess and wield a Daemon. You start off with one sword-wielding Daemon in ONINAKI, but as you explore and progress through the story you’ll find many more each with their own unique weapons and combat styles. Up to four Daemons can be equipped at a time and can be cycled through as you please during battle. 

    Every Daemon starts off with a basic attack and one special skill that can be triggered on a cooldown. As you continue to fight with that Daemon defeated enemies have a chance of dropping upgrade items called Soulstones unique to the Daemon you’re using. Each Daemon has a unique skill tree where these Soulstones can be exchanged for new skills, passive buffs, and even memories from that Daemon’s past life. Each Daemon has their own set of stats separate from Kagachi’s increasing stat levels and Soulstone drops are rather generous, so upgrading a newly acquired Daemon to the level of your very first is a fairly easy task.

  The Daemons are easily one of ONINAKI’s best features. Unlocking new Daemons adds a lot of variety to the game’s combat. In the interest of time I mainly stuck to two Daemons―one for fighting normal enemies and another for boss battles―but had I more time I would have tried to grind out the skill trees of the rest as well. While grinding out these skill trees is nowhere near a herculean task, it isn’t a very fun one. A few of the passive skills locked away in every Daemon’s skill trees are features that simply make combat less fun to be without. The simple ability to cancel out of skills, attacks, and a Daemon’s unique mobility option is essential to a satisfying combat flow, so it’s rather frustrating to have that feature locked away behind multiple upgrades. I’d say it takes about a full level of forcing yourself to use the Daemon you want to use to be able to upgrade them to a point where they’re actually fun to use. Stick with it, though, and they can become absolute wrecking balls. 

    The various Daemons found throughout the game are also, surprisingly, the game’s best characters. Not only are their designs all quite captivating, but also their individual stories are some of the best writing in the entire game. Each Daemon was once a living soul within the world of ONINAKI, and as you go through their skill trees you’ll receive pieces of their backstory and find out how each one of them died. In addition to being well-written side stories in their own right, they tie in to the central narrative and themes of ONINAKI as well. At a certain point, I found myself wanting to upgrade my Daemons less for the combat benefits and more so I could learn more about them. In fact, once I finish this review I plan on going back and doing just that. Given how much time was put into fleshing them out as characters, it’s an honest shock that Daemons never factor into the story as anything other than a weapon. 

  Looking back on my time with ONINAKI, I think it can be best summed up as a game that’s more than the sum of its parts. It’s an odd patchwork of concepts and ideas―weird, ambitious ideas that don’t always make a lot of sense or even feel like finished thoughts. It’s a conflicting game that strikes conflicting tones, a decision reflective of the many dualities presented in the narrative. There are two sides to this story, two worlds to jump between, two names for our heroes, two choices to make at the very end, and two moments I’ll remember most from my time with ONINAKI. The first was a moment of loss; the other an inconsequential choice. ONINAKI may not be my favorite game, but it is my favorite type of game, one I’ll be recommending for years to come.

    REVIEW ROUNDUP

+ Beautiful soundtrack

+ Good character designs and well-realized art style

+ Daemon side stories contain some of the best writing in the game

+/- Novel premise and strong ideas that mostly carry on to a satisfying conclusion

+/- Gameplay is varied and interesting, though some boss encounters are altogether frustrating

- Essential quality of life combat features are locked behind upgrades

- Kagachi is a really dull protagonist

  How does ONINAKI compare to your favorite Square Enix RPGs? Let us know in the comments below!

      -----

Danni Wilmoth is a Features writer for Crunchyroll and co-host of the video game podcast Indiecent. You can find more words from her on Twitter @NanamisEgg.

Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[jeremyloomis]

The Hobbyist

I love writing. I have had a thing for drawing since early childhood. It’s been such a great outlet to write songs on my guitar, ever since college. It’s cool to be able to take interesting looking photos, and it’s fun to imagine something in my head and then shape it in the real world with modeling clay. 

I enjoy these things, and I’ve rarely done any of them for a while now. More on that in just a bit.

Some years ago, I experienced a freeing moment. At the time, I was doing freelance graphic design, and I’d been hoping to make a living on it. I came to a point where I had a good opportunity for advancement in the craft, and I realized I didn’t care to take it. While I had enjoyed bringing my skills and creativity to some projects, I saw what level the professionals were on and what level I was on, and there was no desire in me to close that gap. It was not life-giving or rewarding for me to imagine putting in the time or energy to gain a competitive edge in the field. It was freeing for me, because I discovered that graphic design was only going to be a hobby for me. It would never be my profession, and the best part was, it was OK for it to never be my profession. 

This was not a failure, only a change of direction.

So let me share something current: it’s become rare for me to create much of anything. And I’ve been really disappointed about that. As I tried to understand this dry spell, I recognized that I have lived under a lot of pressure, and that it’s mainly pressure I’ve put on myself. In a nutshell, I don’t even begin a project unless I believe it’s going to be something good enough to send to market. I haven’t made it OK for some things to just be hobbies. In a real way, I haven’t been able to do things simply for my own enjoyment. 

There is a part of me that desires to take whatever I’m doing to its fullest and most extreme expression. Like if I make a cool-looking little guy out of modeling clay, next thing I know I’m formulating a plan to make a production as atmospheric and complex as the Nightmare Before Christmas. It’s fun to dream big. But it’s also healthy to recognize that sometimes dreams are not the same as aspirations. Sometimes dreaming is an end in itself. For creatives, I believe dreaming is an important exercise. Just like how running on a treadmill doesn’t carry you to a different place, the exercise is valuable in and of itself, because it builds you up.

Dreaming is a valuable exercise for your inner space, but I’ll tell you what is not a valuable use of time or energy, and that’s basing your self worth on your performance. Or judging your own performance by a standard of perfectionism. In my experience, my performance and perfectionism has not been rooted in a desire for excellence. It’s been rooted in fears of not being good enough. 

Most recently, I poured many (many) hours into a realistic concept drawing for a character I’m developing. I was looking forward to topping all my previous work with the biggest and best thing I’ve ever drawn, but shortly after finishing it and posting it online, I had mixed feelings. First thought: You messed up the shading. People are going to see this, and they’ll think that you think you did it right! Next thought: You’re nowhere near as good as the other artists on Instagram who do realistic pencil drawings. And finally, This was a letdown. It was a lot of work for not a lot of payoff.

Maybe you already see what’s unhealthy about these thoughts, but I’m going to spell it out anyway. First, self-punishment does not help a person to grow. That’s probably the most obvious. Second, comparison kills. You will always find someone who can do something you can’t do, and a comparison focus will make you believe that your best work does not have merit, even though it does. Finally - and this is the central point of this post - you can really set yourself up for deep disappointment when the main purpose for making a thing is the results you expect to get.

I love what David Lynch said about making art: “You can never really know how it’s going to turn out in the world, but you know if you enjoy doing it....if you don’t enjoy the doing, then do something else.”

I came away from this experience with the understanding that I love to draw, and that I am not passionate or motivated to become the best at realistic drawing. To tie this back to what I introduced at the start, I found that it’s OK to just be a hobbyist! And now that I can acknowledge that there’s no rule stating that all my work has to be immaculate, maybe I can let go of the pressure that has held me back from even practicing.

[impurelight]

Far Cry 5 - Thank God I Don’t Have To Press E To Open Doors Anymore

Far Cry 4 is basically a clone of Far Cry 3. So much so that some people recommend buying Far Cry 3 over 4. I don’t agree with that. Far Cry is definitely better than 3. But not that much so.

No one will accuse Far Cry 5 of being too similar to Far Cry 4. Because Far Cry 5 is a fundamental reimagining of Far Cry. The game it most reminds me of is Just Cause 3. Just like Just Cause 3 the world is much smaller but it is also much more focused. This is also emphasized by the new diorama sort of effect for the map. Although I’m not sure how accurate it is, especially when it says: there’s supposed to be a quest here, and when you go there it’s in the middle of the forest (this always happens during companion missions). It doesn’t pull it off as well as in Just Cause 3. But unlike Just Cause 3 it doesn’t crash every 5 minutes.

Although with the smaller map I want a way to get around faster. Something like Just Cause 3’s grapple/parachute or Saints Row 4’s super speed or even Mad Max’s instant car. It just feels so unnecessary to have to hijack a car, especially with no clear indicator for where the nearest car is. You can actually call in one of your companions who has a helicopter but this is rather cumbersome and takes a bit of time to do. Plus I only got it to work once in my playthrough.

In previous Far Cry games there’s two major parts of the map. The radio towers and the camps. FC5 still has camps but no radio towers. But this time the camps are not displayed by default. You can still find their locations by going near them or encountering certain characters, more on this later, but the map that’s covered in red with tons of objectives on it is gone. You know, I don’t really like it. It feels emptier. I’d rather have all the camps marked.

There’s also a lot more stuff to do though. In Far Cry 4 there were side quests such as rescue the hostages and hunt a certain animal. BTW skinning animals now plays a much smaller role in 5. Although you can skin them they only give you money and the lovely animation is gone.

So quests. There are a lot of quests in 5 and they are mostly all distinct. There are some repeats and very similar quests but they are few and far between. Some quests are actually really interesting like the one on Far Cry Blood Dragon. I like the new quests. Definitely better than the ones in 4 which I only rarely did and it felt like a chore. I just wish there were more like in Assassin’s Creed Origins. Oh well.

There are also story quests. But they aren’t very good. In fact I’d say they’re even worse than the previous games. You might have already heard that you get interrupted too much. And you definitely do. There are 3 small villains plus the big bad. Each small villain will interrupt you at least twice, and usually more.

They’re really annoying. Especially when I’m going somewhere like a quest start or a camp and out of nowhere you’re kidnapped and have to do some random mission. Then to make things worse when you finish the quest you’re spawned at some completely random location.

But this is just a symptom of a much worse problem. That the story is just trash. The story could be so much better. But it’s not. The three mini villains are like card-board cut outs. Yeah, they’re evil but they’re so poorly defined. I don’t even know what they do. They could have just said something like, “Minibad 1 controls this aspect of the operation” but it never happens. And the big bad hardly ever appears. Except from some brief cutscenes you could have forgotten about him the entire game.

You know I thought Far Cry 4 had a good story. I mean like a bad story, but good. In 4 there are the same number of min-bads and big bads. But it does it so much better. At each enemy you have some story missions to flesh them out. They don’t have to be very big. In fact one in particular villain I thought could have been done better. But you never questioned why you were fighting them. They were bad.

In 5 I really didn’t know why I was fighting. Yeah, the locals are bad but I’m a Deputy. Shouldn’t I, like, call for backup instead of murdering anything? If I do get out of this I’m so fired.

Let’s also talk about the companions. They’re overpowered. It feels like they want you to think of them as real people but it just feels fake. They can revive you which makes them so overpowered. In fact everything about them is overpowered.

Take camps. Oh, I should have mentioned that money is harder to get in this game. I mean the currency is US dollars which are a bit less inflated than rupees in the last game so it should be expected but it just felt like there was less money around.

Part of this is in Far Cry 4 there were like random stashes of money all around which made you feel like you had an effectively infinite amount of money. There’s none in 5. In fact money is quite difficult to get. You can get a few dollars by looting guys you kill but that’s just peanuts compared to the cost of the weapons and attachments. To really get money you need to do quests and clear outposts.

So back to the outposts. You don’t get any money for clearing outposts. You only get money if you clear it without alarms going off. And you get more money if you clear them without being detected. This was here in FC4 as well but you got XP instead of money and a pretty trivial amount at that.

There is one catch. If you send in companions they will not trigger the alarm. This was in Far Cry Primal as well but in Primal your companions were animals and pretty weak at that needing to get revived every one or two kills. It felt like it was far more effective to go in stealthily.

In Far Cry 5 you can just call in Nick Rye to carpet bomb everyone, but look: undetected. It’s pretty ridiculous actually. For those that don’t know Nick Rye is one of the companions. He has a plane, I know it’s a first for the series. Although I don’t like the fact that if you’re getting attacked by planes your only option is to call in Nick Rye to take care of it for you.

So anyways I felt like I was being penalized for attacking outposts head on. It seemed like the superior method of fighting them is just calling in your companions because that’s how you get undetected. Sort of a shame really. I hate it when it feels like the right way to go is the least fun.

Speaking of companions there are a few more. It sort of reminds me of Fallout 4. And not just because they block doors (come on guys, Tales of Zesteria got this right). You can actually have 2 companions equipped at a time and they can actually talk to each other while they’re both equipped. They don’t have a ton of things to say but they are pretty entertaining.

Although I must say it’s hard to tell if they are dying. I mean they’ll say something but it’s easy to miss. Especially one of the flying companions. “Where is my companion? Oh, he’s dead” Also some story sections will remove companions randomly. they really should re-add them when you’re done the mission.

So let’s talk about skills. A lot of people say you get skills from completing ‘optional objectives’ which is true. The optional objectives actually remind me of Mad Max as in some are like, “who cares?“ but some of them are worth getting. There’s one for killing guys with each enemy type but apart from that they’re not really that great. I like the level based system of 4 better.

But also there are perk magazines. You can occasionally find one or two around the map but the loot caches always have 3. These are places around the map that are puzzles to get in. I actually really like them. Way better than in Far Cry 4 where the camera would just randomly fly around showing various locations after clearing a radio tower.

For the graphics section it’s not quite as nice as the previous Far Cry games. The forests give me an Alan Wake vibe and they’re nice, but they’re nothing compared to the breadth-taking vistas of Far Cry 4.

There’s also a chromatic aberration effect that is way overused. It’s used when you go through the drug flowers which is fine. But it’s also used when you come out of water. Like seriously? And there’s a compass which I really like. In previous games there was a minimap and I liked to disable it because I hate minimaps. But some missions assume you have a minimap and are harder to do. But now that doesn’t happen. Except, maybe, the hostage missions. It still takes me forever to find the hostages without the minimap.

But you know, for all the improvements it’s still Far Cry. Which means some ridiculous things still happen. For example animals will attack NPC’s for no reason. Which is especially annoying while you’re talking to them. And in this game you’re going to have to talk to them more often because they give you information such as mission locations. Oh well.

The loot and take weapon are still the same button which drives me up the wall. But now there’s no looting animations. Which I totally get for humans. But not for animals. I miss that skinning animation. And there’s a bit of a more in depth crafting system. But I never used it as random loot I found lying around was sufficient.

So that’s Far Cry 5. When I played Far Cry 4 I knew it was a definite improvement over 3. But 5? I’m not really sure anymore. Yeah, it’s smaller and more focused. But I also think it lost some of what made Far Cry Far Cry. Still a great game. But 4 was better.

[foursprout-blog]

The stages of financial freedom: The road to financial independence

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/wealth/the-stages-of-financial-freedom-the-road-to-financial-independence/

The stages of financial freedom: The road to financial independence

Today we’re going to explore the six stages of financial freedom. First, though, I want to introduce you to my friends Mac and Pam.

Pam is a pathologist and an elite ultra-runner. Mac is a former high-school science teacher and current stay-at-home dad. Together, they form a formidable financial team.

They’re also a couple of nerds. I mean, look at them!

Maybe because they’re such nerds, Mac and Pam have always put an emphasis on saving. But they don’t just pinch pennies. They’ve optimized their lives to boost their income and their happiness. They’re well on their way to financial independence. In many ways, they epitomize the ideals espoused by my Money Boss philosophy.

The Money Boss Method in Real Life

When Pam was in her final year of med school, for instance, Mac worked as a research tech at a neuroscience lab. He brought home only $18,000 but they were careful to avoid living paycheck to paycheck.

“We would pay the rent,” Mac says, “we would put money into savings, and we’d still have money left over at the end of the month. We made choices not to buy the little things that could have killed our future.”

After med school, Mac and Pam moved to Portland. While Pam did her pathology residency at Oregon Health & Science University, Mac taught high-school science. At that time, their salaries were similar.

When their first child was born in January 2005, Pam took maternity leave until Spring Break. From Spring Break until the end of the school year, Mac brought the baby with him to work and placed her in the student-run daycare.

“Counting the cost of daycare, my teacher’s salary went down to minimum wage,” Mac says. At the end of the school year, he asked for a year off. That year turned into forever. “It came down to whether I wanted to raise other people’s kids or whether I wanted to raise my own.”

The traditional choice is for the mother to stay home with the kids, but that seemed silly in their situation. With her residency completed, Pam could earn four or five times what Mac could make as a teacher. “It didn’t make sense to throw away the money we spent on Pam’s education to not reap the benefits of that education.”

For the past decade, Mac and Pam have worked in tandem toward family and financial goals. Pam makes the money. Mac takes care of two kids and day-to-day household operations while also managing their investments. They’re both careful with spending.

“We spend a lot less than all of our friends who earn similar amounts,” Mac says. “Lots of our doctor friends have multiple houses. They own fancy cars. They spend lots of money and we don’t. Neither of us wants a second home. I drive a 2007 minivan and Pam drives a 2004 Avalon. Our only debt is our house. We pay off our credit cards every month and we have no car payments.”

From the beginning, saving has been a priority for Mac and Pam. And as they earned more, they saved more. It’s true their spending increased too, but at nowhere near the same rate. A higher income meant they could put more in the bank — not buy more stuff.

Because they’ve been so diligent for so long, Mac and Pam will be able to retire in their forties. They’ve made the choices and done the work necessary to achieve Financial Independence at a young age.

“We’d rather accumulate our wealth, to live how we want later in life than spend on things now,” Mac says. Yes, they could afford to buy things today, but doing so would require sacrificing more important opportunities tomorrow.

These two are money bosses! They’ve been climbing the ladder of financial freedom for a long time.

The Six Stages of Financial Freedom

I used to believe that financial freedom meant just one thing: Having enough money that you never had to work again. Over the years, people like Mac and Pam have taught me that financial independence exists on a continuum. It’s not “all or nothing”, but an ever-increasing range of options. It’s a process.

Each stage of financial freedom allows you greater autonomy and self-expression, and these are qualities that lead to happiness.

Nearly a decade ago, I came up with what I called the three stages of personal finance. Later, I expanded this to four or five stages. Today, I recognize there are many degrees of financial independence.

For our purposes, we’re going to keep things simple.

After blending my ideas with those of Joshua Sheats at Radical Personal Finance, I’ve come up with a model that tracks six stages from financial dependence to financial abundance.

But before you can begin progressing through the six stages of financial freedom, there’s a preliminary hurdle you have to clear. You’re in this “zeroeth stage” if your expenses exceed your income.

Stage 0 – Dependence

In this stage, your lifestyle depends on others for financial support. We all start here. We’re born this way. How long it takes to break free varies from person to person. You’re in this stage if you rely on financial support from your parents. You’re in this stage if you spend more than you earn. You’re in this stage if your debt payments exceed your income.

After you begin to earn a profit, you begin to progress through the six stages of financial freedom. The first three are the “surviving” stages.

Stage 1 – Solvency

Solvency is the ability to meet your financial commitments. You reach this stage when you no longer rely on anyone else for financial support — when your income exceeds your expenses, when you are no longer accumulating debt. When you are earning a profit, you have achieved solvency. Some people reach this stage in their teens. Some never reach it. (I reached it at age 35 in October 2004, when I stopped debting and began to repay what I owed.)

Stage 2 – Stability

You achieve stability once you’ve repaid your consumer debt, established some emergency savings, and continue to earn a personal profit. You may still possess some “good debt” — college loans, a mortgage — but you’ve eliminated other obligations and built a buffer of savings to protect you from unfortunate events. (I reached this stage at age 38 in December 2007, when I made my final debt payment.)

Stage 3 – Agency

The final “surviving” stage is free agency, the ability to work and live how and where you want. In this stage, you’ve eliminated all debt (including student loans and mortgage) and you have enough banked that you could quit your job at a moment’s notice without hesitation. This is commonly called “screw-you money”. (I achieved agency in March 2008.)

Note: I know first-hand there are times you might prefer to carry a mortgage even if you don’t have to. For the purposes of this stage, if you have enough saved and invested to pay off your mortgage, it’s the same thing as not having one.

In the final three stages, you move from surviving to thriving. Money is no longer a safety net, but a tool to help you build the life you envision for yourself and your family. Remember our discussion of the “crossover point” earlier this week? That concept is key to defining where you are in these latter stages of financial freedom. (Each of these stages assumes no debt. Or, as explained in the note above, enough cash on hand to instantly repay your debt.)

Stage 4 – Security

You achieve financial security when your investment income can cover your basic needs. That is, based on how much you have saved and invested, you could live a meager existence for the rest of your life. Even if you never worked another day in your life, you have enough to afford simple housing, basic food, essential clothing, and insurance.

Stage 5 – Independence

Financial independence is the ultimate goal for most folks. At this stage, your investment income is sufficient to fund your current standard of living for the rest of your life. You can afford the basics, but you can afford some comforts too. You have Enough. (I leaped from agency to independence in April 2009. This is the stage I’m in today.)

Stage 6 – Abundance

In the final stage of financial freedom, you have “enough — and then some”. Your passive income from all sources will not only fund your lifestyle indefinitely, but grant you the freedom to do whatever you want. You can share your wealth with others. You can indulge in luxury, explore the world. You can build a business empire.

Note: Where am I on this scale? I’ve definitely achieved Financial Security. If you’d have asked me a year ago, I would have told you that I was solidly in stage five, Financial Independence. Honestly, that’s probably still accurate — but a lot about my financial situation seems less certain than it did a few months ago. That’s a topic for another conversation…

The more money you save, the more freedom you have, and the greater risks you can take. As your financial independence increases, you chip away at the wall of worry. You’re able to make decisions based on happiness and not on dollars.

And here’s the thing: As you develop smart money habits and skills, these will not only help you obtain whatever immediate level of financial freedom you’re working toward, but also progress toward future levels of freedom.

If you’re working toward debt freedom, for instance, as you learn to spend less and earn more, this profitability will continue to help you once you’ve achieved solvency. You can apply the same ideas as you work to obtain stability, and then agency.

I spent far too long this morning playing in Photoshop to create the summary below. I am not a graphic artist…but I try.

Summing Up

That’s it for migrating the Money Boss crash course to Get Rich Slowly!

Over the past few weeks, I’ve shared the nuts and bolts of my financial methodology. To summarize:

You are the boss of you. Nobody cares more about your money than you do, so assume responsibility for your financial future. Run your life like a business.

The best way to get what you really want is to become clear on your goals and values. That’s why everyone should craft a personal mission statement.

Your saving rate is the most important number in personal finance. Savings — which I like to think of as “profit” — gives you the power to do what you want in life.

Frugality is the cornerstone of wealth-building, but the best way to spend less is to cut back on the big stuff.

You are 100% responsible for your income. To earn more, learn more. Work more and work better. Sell yourself. If you take the time to supercharge your income, your profits will soar.

Think like a billionaire by carefully guarding each dollar you earn. Recognize that every time you spend today, you’re sacrificing a piece of tomorrow. Be wary of opportunity costs. Practice mindful spending.

Invest wisely. Don’t try to get rich quick. Develop an investment philosophy and develop an investment strategy that supports this philosophy.

Use barriers and pre-commitment to automatically do the right thing — every time.

As you adopt this philosophy, your wealth snowball will begin to grow. The more you work at it, the bigger it’ll get. Protect it. Your wealth snowball is the key to your financial future. Eventually, you’ll reach the crossover point, that place where your investment income exceeds your day-to-day spending. You’ll have achieved Financial Independence.

It was a lot of work to put this together, but it was also a lot of fun. I’d love feedback if you have it. I want this info to be as useful as possible to future readers, so drop me a line to let me know what you liked — and what you didn’t. Constructive criticism will not offend me.

I’ve collated this series of articles into a free ebook called A Brief Guide to Financial Freedom. Like much of this material, it’s still branded for Money Boss, but soon I’ll revise everything to be GRS-specific.

The post The stages of financial freedom: The road to financial independence appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.