#though i did have one where they drove soooo fast with the windows down and i was like can you fucking chill

[imafoolishfragilespine]

i got into one minor car accident eight years ago and my parents will never forget it

[princehairsupremacy]

Omg I've just read the request that i send to you and it IS SO FUCKING AMAZING. Can you do a second part? Pleasee?🥺 (it was the one about Harry having a crush and y/n sat on his lap)

I love it soooo much, you're great

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Part 1

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Word Count: 8.3k

Watch me do a Harry POV to do something different also read part 1 first but it isnt really needed if you dont want to !

I used she/her pronouns in this btw♡︎

No this is not the pegging fic and no i didn’t exactly finish it

Warnings: smut; bit of choking, spanking, unprotected vaginal sex, oral (f receiving), face riding, masturbation, dry humping?, edging, dom!h but also some of sub!h, idk touching?, handcuffing, degradation, sucking on fingers, swearing, handjob, fingering

You stopped your hips and looked back at him. "I think we should leave." You stood up and Harry stood up right after you, following you as you both basically speed walked to the exit of the event. Hopefully, this was going to be a fun and different night together, definitely different from your usual nights together anyway.

Harry

Is this actually happening? Is she actually taking me to my car after practically fucking dry humping me in public? I’m dreaming. I’m dreaming. I mean, I have to be, this would not ever be happening otherwise. She’s not interested in me, but this seems like a good dream so far.

Shit shit, I can see my mum, she cannot see us leaving like this together. I grabbed Y/N’s arm and dragged her over a different way. “My mum’s there and she’ll stop us and have questions about us leaving.”

“Oh okay, can we even get to your car this way?” I looked around and slapped my forehead, the only way to my car is past my mum and that is not fucking happening. “Come on, we’ll find something. Maybe she’s moved somewhere else.”

I peeked around the corner and saw her turned away, talking to some other guest there. “If we walk really fast we can get past her without her seeing us.” I moved my hand down to hers and started walking, smiling when we walked past my mum and she didn’t turn around.

“Harry!” Fucking shit. I twisted my head around, oh no my mum had spotted us at the last minute, why me? “Oh, Y/N. Come here guys.”

I sighed and turned around, quickly letting go of Y/N’s hand when I realised I was still holding on to it. My mum narrowed her eyes but thankfully didn’t mention it. “Are you guys leaving?”

“Y/N doesn’t feel well and I drove her here so I was going to take her home and get her in bed.” She looked at Y/N and pursed her lips.

“Looks fine to me.” She brought her hand up and pressed the back of it against Y/N’s forehead. “No temperature. Why are you guys really leaving?”

“I told you, Y/N doesn’t feel well, okay?” She slapped my arm lightly and I flinched, stepping back from her. “Ow!”

“Don’t lie to me. You were holding her hand.” I pressed my lips together and she raised her eyebrows, shaking her head at me. “Just go, I don’t want to know anymore.”

“Okay, I’ll go.” I’m gonna fucking kill myself, I want to die now, immediately. Well, after I do what I plan on doing then I want to die immediately. My mum turned around and I grabbed Y/N’s hand quickly, walking away with my head down in shame. “I hope I die today or never see my mum again.”

“It’s fine, you’re a grown man. Everyone does it.” I don’t want my fucking mum to know, regardless. Oh god, and she knows it’s Y/N, I’m never going outside. I’m never taking the risk of seeing her ever again. “Just forget about it.”

We stepped outside to the car park in the front of the building and I scrunched my face up, where did I park my car. “Shit, do you remember where I parked?”

“Uh, yeah? Over there.” She pointed to the right and I looked over, oh it is over there. I’m so fucking stupid sometimes. “How do you even forget where your own car is and I remember?”

“Just forget about it.” I grinned at her and she let go of my hand, starting to walk towards the car herself. “Don’t leave me, wait!” I speed walked to her and raised my hand up, opening it up and waiting for her to take my hand again. “Y/N, hold my hand.”

“No.”

“Hold it.”

“No.”

“Just hold it.”

“No, shut up.” I huffed and dropped my hand back down to my side, pouting like a little fucking kid as I walked to car beside her. “Oh stop with the little sad face, that’s not getting you anything.”

“Oh, I’m not getting anything? So you just want me to drive you home and then I’ll go to mine?” She gave me an aggravated look and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly. “Um, ow.”

“Deal with it, you giant baby.” I pulled her closer with my hand and stopped us, leaning down and puckering my lips.

“Give me a kiss.” She raised her hand and pushed my face away, looking at me with disgust. “Hey, give me a kiss. You’re just rude now, give me a kiss.” I brought my hands up to her face and she pushed them away.

“Harry, we’re in public.” I stepped back, oh, forgot about that. No one knows about us yet, forget about my mum, because this is just happening today and now. It’s private. It’s not even a relationship. Yet? “Sorry, I’m just not really wanting to do public affection like that right now. Let’s just get to the car.”

“Okay.” I gave her a smile to hide my sadness about the slight rejection and let go of her hand since she obviously wasn’t comfortable with that at the moment. “No pressure, you don’t have to do anything.” She smiled at me and walked in front of me to the car.

I jogged to the passenger side of the car and opened the door for her before she could. “Already trying to score brownie points...” She grinned at me as she leaned down and sat in her seat.

“Not trying to score brownie points, ‘m just a proper gentleman.” I closed her car door and walked to the drivers side on the right, quickly getting in and buckling my seat belt. I pressed my foot down on the brake pedal and inserted my key into my car, twisting it. I let go of my keys and moved my hand to my gear, switching it to ‘drive’. I quickly released the parking brake, moving my foot to the gas pedal and pressing down on it gently, starting to move out of the parking space.

“You look hot when you do that.” My eyebrows raised and I looked at Y/N for a second before turning back to the road and focusing on what I was doing.

“I look hot while turning the car on?” She licked her lips and shrugged her shoulders, moving her hand to my thigh. “No affection?” She moved her hand slowly up and down my thigh, squeezing it once or twice.

“You don’t just turn the car on when you do that.” I placed my hand on top of hers on my thigh and stopped it. “Let me touch you, Harry.”

“While I’m driving? I’ll crash.” I nudged her hand off my thigh and her shoulders slumped, she crossed her arms and moved her legs away from me, staring outside the passenger window. “I can touch you though. If you want.”

She spread her thighs a little and I let go of the steering wheel, trusting myself to be able to drive with one hand. My hand landed on her thigh and she kept staring out the window but I noticed her thighs part even more. “Quickly.” Quickly? I’m trying not to crash.

“Okay. Do you want me to take your underwear off or just-“

“I’ll just take them off, Harry. Don’t worry.” I gulped as her hands disappeared underneath the loose part of her dress and she pulled her underwear down her legs. “Oh, where am I meant to put them?”

“Um, your bag? Wait, you don’t have a bag. Give them to me.” I opened up my hand and she placed her underwear on my palm. I looked down at my hand and cleared my throat, quickly raising my hips and stuffing them in my pocket, dropping my butt back down onto the seat when I got them in.

“Hey! You didn’t say you were going to be a little pervert about it!” I gave her a little smirk and I moved my hand back to her thigh, rubbing it up and down her inner thigh. “If you’re going to touch me just do it already.”

“Not with that attitude.” She gave me an irritated look and I smiled back at her. “Obviously joking, ha, I will touch you.” I slid my hand under her dress and tightened my hand around the wheel when I felt her wetness on the pads of my fingertips. “Fuck...”

I started to rub slowly where I thought her clit was but I literally can’t see anything and I’m guessing I didn’t get it my first time because she grabbed my arm and turned towards me. “Up.”

“Oh, sorry.” I move my middle finger up and she nods so I start to rub in slow circles, that was embarrassing. I dragged my middle finger back down and slowly moved it into her, I guess me turning the car on really did turn her on as well? But what about it? That’s what I’m not getting.

I moved my ring finger into her too and she grabbed my arm again but I don’t think she was stopping me this time, just looking for something to grip onto and going with my arm. “Move your fingers, stupid.”

“I’m sorry, I’m trying not to crash while I’ve got my fingers in you!” She dug her nails into the skin of my arm slightly and I winced. “Okay, okay.” So mean for pleasure. I mean, I don’t mind much.

I pulled my fingers back until just the tip of them were still inside then moved them back in, repeating this action and over time moving my fingers faster. “That’s better...” Her nails dug into my skin again, at least this time it was out of pleasure and not utter annoyance.

I quickly looked around at the cars around us while we stopped at a red light , once I’d shifted to the right gear of course, everyone seemed to be oblivious to what was happening, thank god. I looked at her while I could, first looking at the way my arm was moving and then my eyes wandered up to her face, her head was pressed against her seat and she had her mouth open with her eyes almost falling shut. I fucking wish we weren’t in the car right now, I want to fuck her so badly.

I turned back towards the light and they were already yellow so I shifted the gear from what it was on and pressed down on the gas pedal when it turned green, moving my fingers faster and hearing her let out a little moan and then she slapped her hand over her mouth. “No, don’t hide them.”

She dropped her hand back down to her side and I shifted my hips, at least there’s not that much more driving to do, I don’t think I could survive that.

I took the left into my street and quickly parked the car, I’ve never really been good at parking honestly. I slowly pulled my fingers out of her and she frowned but widened her eyes when I looked her in the eyes and put my fingers in my mouth and sucked them. “Harry you can’t just...do that.”

“And why not?” I grinned and unbuckled my seatbelt, showing her the cheeky grin on my face before getting out of the car. I frowned when I saw that she had already got out too when I was going to open her door for her again.

“Too late, sorry mr. gentleman.” I rolled my eyes at her antics and grabbed my keys out of my back pocket, walking to the door and sticking the key in the lock, twisting it and unlocking it, I walked in the door and held it open and she walked in, it seemed I was pressed up against the door as soon as it had shut, there were like no seconds in between the door shutting and me being against it.

“Woah there.” I grabbed onto her shoulders and turned us around, making her be pressed up against the door instead. “I don’t think so.”

“What, you’re too insecure to let me take a little control?”

“I just prefer to be in control, y’know?” She shrugged her shoulders and softly grasped my hands, bringing one to her shoulder and the other to her neck.

“Be in control then, Harry.” I stepped closer to her and closed my fingers around her neck, pressing my fingers into her skin, I like her but I also want to hurt her and fuck her until she can’t do it anymore and she’s at her breaking point, is that normal? Maybe. “Let yourself do what you want to me.”

“Trust me, I’m going to do that.” I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers, this kiss made it feel like time stopped when I done it, my heart was pounding in my chest and my knees were getting weaker every second. I could only focus on the fact that her lips felt so soft against mine and how I was already addicted, how I wanted to do this forever.

It felt like just raw emotion when we were kissing, we weren’t kissing because we felt like we had to, we were kissing because we felt like we wanted to. I’m not sure if my mind was tricking me with this moment right now but if this were to be a dream, I would be devastated to ever wake up from it.

I pulled back a little for some air and opened my eyes to sneak a peek at her pretty face before moving back in. I took my hand away from her neck and brought it down to her hand and I swear my heart skipped a beat when she intertwined her fingers with mine. Now just didn’t feel like the time to have my fingers around her neck, this moment felt too sweet for it in my opinion.

I think my whole body was tingling at the moment and I pressed myself against her, making sure to keep my lips right against hers. I felt her fingers go under my shirt and lay against my stomach and my heart stopped for a moment, her fingers were cold...

I gasped against her lips at the feel of her hand on my skin and groaned when her nails scratched my stomach, just the feeling of her was amazing, I didn’t ever want her to leave me now, I need her. My stomach was in a knot every time she’s around and a few years ago I started to notice some beautiful little details of her that I hadn’t even thought about before.

She smelt so good, no matter what, I didn’t care, she smelt good, it was one of the first things I noticed. Then I started to notice how jumpy I’d get when we touched or even accidentally touched but I didn’t want her to let go at the same time, it was the strangest thing to me when I first started feeling it but now I understand, I was starting to develop feelings. It was like in the movies when the best friend finally realises he’s in love with her and she’s the only one he’ll ever need.

My skin crawled with goosebumps as I felt her start to unbutton my shirt with her delicate fingers, how long had we been kissing now? Not long enough. Whatever perfume she was wearing right now was bloody intoxicating, I took every opportunity I could to take a deep breath in through my nostrils because the smell was just that addicting to me.

I brought my hand up from her shoulder and laid it softly on her cheek, stroking her skin with my thumb. I had no fear over my growing crush on her because now I knew she felt the same, hopefully it could only go up from here.

She pulled back and took a deep breath in, pressing her hand to her chest and giggling. “That was the best kiss I’ve ever had, H.”

“Let’s do it again then.” She parted her lips and I leaned back in, moving my tongue in through her parted lips this time. I tilted my head to the side and she tilted hers the opposite way. I started to move backwards towards the bedroom, trying to kiss her at the same times but this is not as easy as they make it look in the movies.

I kept walking backwards and then suddenly tripped over something, almost landing on my ass in front of her. I looked down and spotted a stray wire, I let out a frustrated noise and kicked it away. “I wish you fell, that would have been so fucking funny.”

“Ugh, that’s so rude.” I gave up on trying to kiss her and turned around, still keeping her fingers intertwined with mine as I entered the bedroom. I sat at the edge and she got on my lap, giving me a sweet smile. “I can’t believe this is happening still.” I said it in such a vulnerable tone, I never really sound like that.

“Aw.” I couldn’t imagine what it’d be like if everyone know what we were doing, especially our friends, they were always betting on us getting in a relationship or at least hooking up. It was annoying and it made me blush but I also crossed my fingers at the same time when they mentioned it, I wanted it to happen for so long and now it is. “It’s happening, baby.”

She started to grind her hips and my eyes snapped down to my lap, I did not expect her to do that already. I reached my hands up to her face and pulled her face down so that her lips touched mine again, I needed to kiss her again. Her lips were already swollen and plump from the time we kissed before but I didn’t care, her kiss was so addicting.

I nibbled at her bottom lip and she pressed her hips down harder against mine, making me shudder and let go of her bottom lip that was caught between my teeth. “Fucking hell, keep doing that.”

“That feel good?” I sucked in a breath through my teeth as she finished unbuttoning my shirt and pushed it down my shoulders and off my arms. She licked her lips and leaned down, sucking one of my nipples.

“Shit. Shit. Shit! Please.” I desperately pleaded her, her hands grabbed onto my belt loops and she tugged at them. “Love, stop.” She immediately stopped what she was doing and leaned back with a concerned face.

“Sorry, did you not want me to do that?” I grabbed onto her hips and shifted her onto my thigh.

“No, it was good. Just wanted to move you onto my thigh.” I pushed her hips forward and her mouth dropped open in realisation. “Go on, pretty girl. Go and get yourself off with my thigh.” She gave me an unsure look but moved her hips against my thigh anyway.

I felt like I was fucking aching for her touch, my body was yearning for it and screaming at me to be selfish and focus on my pleasure but I knew I was always coming second to her. “I want to make you cum until you feel like you can’t fucking do it anymore.”

“I want you to do it too.” She choked out, too focused on moving herself against my thigh. I flexed my thigh and she let out a pleasurable noise, that’s the exact sound I want to hear if I ever see the gates of heaven honestly, utterly perfect.

“Why don’t you take your clothes off, love? It’ll feel better.” She got up and started to take off the leggings she had on while I quickly unbuttoned and unzipped my trousers, lifting my hips up and dragging them down my legs. Pink lace, pink lace. She’s wearing pink lace. I’m fine. I’m okay. I’m alright.

She sat back on my thigh, right on my tiger tattoo. Fuck, she’s hot. The skin of her thighs was glistening from sweat and it just made her look fucking delicious, her exposed thighs were simply beautiful. Every part of her was so fucking beautiful, I had a new greed for her body that kept developing more and more as we continued.

Her skin glistened and glowed under the pale light in my room that I’d put in, I could stare forever. Her hips rutted against my thigh and I felt that my eyes really were tricking me, she was getting herself off on the tiger tattoo in pretty pink lace. 100% a dream.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Her hips stopped and her eyes widened when I said it. “I need to get my tongue on you.” I watched her shuffle off my thigh and she turned around and bent down as she grabbed her underwear and pushed them down her legs, giving me the ultimate view of her ass. “I’m gonna grab something, you can wait here for me.”

I stood up and she grabbed my hand pulling me towards her. “You leaving me all alone, H? Can’t guarantee I won’t do something bad.”

“Just sit on the bed and fucking wait for me, be a little patient. I’m not even going to leave the room.” I gave her a warning look and then walked past her, to my drawers where I kept my stuff...that I like to use.

“What’re you getting there?” I pressed my lips together and didn’t answer her, she can wait and see. “Harry, what are you getting?”

“Fucking hell, just wait. You’ve waited 1 minute, probably less.” I opened the drawer and grabbed the fluffy red Gucci handcuffs I owned, I hope she likes these.

(in case you’ve never seen the handcuffs)

I held them up and then turned around. “How do you feel about these?” She covered her mouth and giggled a little bit, shit, did she not like them? Did I just fucking embarrass myself? “Oh, I’m guessing that’s a no, I’ll put them away. Forget about it.”

“No! Don’t put them away! I just didn’t expect you to have fluffy red handcuffs, but I don’t mind them.” I walked over and grabbed her wrists with my left hand. “You going to cuff me, Harry?”

“Yeah, ‘m gonna fucking cuff yeh. Move back then get on your hands and knees for me, okay?” She furrowed her brows together but moved back, I don’t think she was getting what I was going to do today. I crawled up on the bed towards her when she finally turned around onto her hands and knees and kneeled beside her. “Give me your hands.”

She leaned back onto her heels and held her hands out for me, watching in curiosity as I raised them towards the headboard and cuffed her hands together. “I thought you wanted to, in your words, get your tongue on me.” She leaned forward and grabbed onto the headboard, resuming her position before except her hands were now in a different place.

“I will, I’ll just be under you.” Her head quickly turned towards me and I gave her a cheeky grin before getting behind her, parting her thighs. “You already wet for me?”

“Yeah...” I brought my hand to her ass and squeezed it softly, such beautiful skin.

I laid down under her, my face was below hers and she looked down at me. “Come on, get on m’face.” She moved forward on her knees until she was right above my face and I grabbed onto her hips, pulling her down onto my mouth.

I opened my mouth and stuck my tongue out, pressing the tip against her clit. I heard that it’s good to just do the alphabet until you find what get’s her thighs shaking and her letting out some moans.

Okay. A. B. C. D. E

Oh a reaction for e. Let’s go with e then.

I moved my tongue in an e shape a few times then flicked it up and down, I looked up and she was watching me, she finally let out a moan when I moved my tongue in an e shape against her clit. Her thighs pressed against the sides of my head and I reached my hands up, grabbing onto her ass.

I moved my right hand back slightly and then brought it back down on her ass, slapping it. “Woah!” She pushed her hips down on my mouth and her thighs squeezed around my head a little tighter. Fucking suffocate me if you have to. “Do it again.”

I brought my hand down on her ass again, but harder, way harder this time. I wanted to hurt her...but in a good way! “I like that.” I lifted both of my hands up to her ass and made her move her hips, she tightened her grip on the headboard and started to grind on my tongue on her own. I hope I can do this again and again and again and again.

I sucked on her clit softly and she moaned my name, yes, boost my ego baby. “Shit, Harry. I feel it.” I sucked on her clit harder for a few seconds then pushed her away from my mouth. “What’re you doing, you asshole?”

“I’m doing what I want.” I sat up and she sat herself down on my thighs, her arms resting on my shoulders since her hands were still cuffed behind me. I raised my hand up and pressed it against her throat, my 4 fingers gripping the right side of her neck and my thumb pressing into the skin on the left side of her neck.

“I want to touch you, can’t you let me out the handcuffs for a minute?” She could beg and plead all she wanted but I was going to do this my why, I was going to do what I pleased, unless she told me to stop. “Please, Harry.”

“No, I’m doing what I fucking want with you, don’t ask me to do anything. Fuck, I just want to get my tongue on you again.” I let go of her neck and brought my hand to the neckline of her dress, thank god it was strapless. “Can I move this down?”

“Yeah.” I gripped the neckline with both of my hands and pulled it down until her chest was exposed, groaning when it was revealed that she didn’t wear a bra under her dress. “Can’t you take the rest of your clothes off, H?”

“You’re in my lap, I can’t exactly do that right now.” She raised her hands and brought them over my head then moved herself off me and I raised my eyebrows, she just loves testing me, huh? “Wow, real smart.”

“I know. Take your clothes off, you can do it now.” I rolled my eyes and smiled as I grabbed onto the waistband off my boxers and caught her stare.

“Maybe I shouldn’t take them off, since you think you can just tell me to do it.” She huffed impatiently and leaned forward, grabbing onto my boxers herself. “You can’t just-“ She pulled them down until they were at the middle of my thighs and then leaned back. “Come here.”

“I’m sorry-“

“Come here.” She sat back on my thighs and avoided eye contact. “What made you think you could do that? I didn’t tell you to.” I grabbed her chin and tilted her head up so she was looking at me. “Tell me what made you think you could just do what you want.”

“I was just getting impatient, I know I shouldn’t have.”

“What a bad fucking excuse. Might as well actually take them off. Hurry up.” I let go of her chin and she grabbed my boxers again, pulling them off my legs. “Are you listening now? I might un-cuff you if you use your mouth right.”

“I’m listening, Harry. I’m sorry.” She’s such a talker, I wonder if she sucks as good as she always does in my dreams. She always leaves me satisfied and I leave her satisfied, always good fucking dreams than I hope I’m going to re-live right now. “You said you were going to use your tongue on me.”

“Can’t a guy change his mind when the person he’s in bed with is a fucking brat?” Admittedly, I did honestly want to use my tongue like I do in almost every dream I have but...I can’t just let her think that she can do something when I didn’t tell her to do it or I told her not to do it. “You said you were listening so why the fuck are you questioning me, anyway?”

“I didn’t want to question you, I was just looking forward to...never mind I’ll-“

“No, just don’t. I can’t even be bothered anymore, that’s how fucking annoying you’re being. Get off my lap and lie on your back like a good girl would.” She got off me and I bit my lip at her obedience, this is still a little strange at times but I’m not going to stop it, I’m enjoying myself so much. “You don’t get to come again, because of how much you’ve pissed me off.”

“What? You don’t have to do that, Harry. I’m sorry. Don’t do that again, please.” She had a pleading tone to her voice and I rolled my eyes, she can take what she gets. “Please don’t, I said sorry?”

“Talking is not making this any better, be quiet or I’ll have to put something in your mouth to shut you up. But you don’t even deserve that, the most you deserve is getting to suck on my fingers.”

“Can I?” I should’ve expected her to say that. “Please?” She probably doesn’t deserve it actually...but I just really want to see this, badly. I placed my index and pointer finger on my right hand on her lips and she opened them, letting me move my fingers into her mouth slowly.

“You just love having something to suck on, don’t you? You love sucking on whatever you can get from someone, baby? Lay back like I told you to now.” She grabbed my arm and slowly moved onto her back, I looked down at her body and shivered. Mine. “Need my fingers back, love.”

She shook her head and I pulled my fingers out her mouth myself. “You better start doing things when I tell you to. You’re a brat. That’s what you like to be though, isn’t it? A fucking annoying brat. You want someone to be in control of you but you don’t make it easy for them. You don’t deserve me touching you right now, do it yourself.”

“W-what?” I pushed her thighs apart and grabbed onto her hand, making her move it down her body until she got to her lower stomach. “You actually want me to do it myself?”

“Yeah, I want you to do it yourself, so do it.” I let go of her hand and she started to move it down herself, stopping for a moment. “No reason to be scared or anything, you can do it in front of me, I’m not going to judge you or make fun of you. Don’t have to if you don’t want to though.” 

“I can do it. I can.” She moved her hand down and then stuck out her middle finger, pressing it down on her clit and then moving it in circles. What a sight.

“Easier than you thought, innit. Just keep going, you have to listen to what I say though.” She nodded her head and closed her eyes, keeping her finger moving at a slow and steady pace. I can’t believe it took me so long to realise that I love her.

I love her so much. I want to be with her in every way. I want to be with her through every emotion I ever feel for the rest of my life. I want to be with her when I’m sad, I want to be with her when I’m happy, I want to be with her through it all. I want a family, but if she doesn’t want that, that’s okay too, I can live with it. All of it’s going to be for her now. Just for her.

When I touch her, I feel my face burning up, she teased me about it but I don’t think she knew it was because of her. It’s like I’m an obsessed teenage boy who just discovered that he’s into people, I can’t stay away from her. I really do need her. She may tease me but she’s always been so sweet to me, even when other people weren’t, she was.

She always helped me out, even helped me out with my crush, I don’t think I actually liked them, just couldn’t accept that I liked her yet and just tried to pick someone else to focus on instead. It didn’t work, she was around me so much constantly. I wonder if she felt the same.

Was she as obsessed as I was? Was she not able to sleep because she could only think about me too? Probably not. Imagine staying awake because of some boy with curly hair, that’d be pretty weird. No one would have thought about me like that, especially her.

I want to be good to her.

“Harry...please touch me, feels better.” Need to be good to her.

“Yeah, I can do that. I’ll do it. Move your hand.” She lifted her hand away and I licked my lips. Right, fuck...what am I doing? Well I know what I’m doing, I think. Doing her. “Do you want me to touch you or do you want me to...”

“You’ve suddenly gotten shy? Do what you want, Harry. Actually...I haven’t got to touch you since we started this. Will you let me?” As if I’m going to tell her no, that would just be pure stupidity.

“Yeah, of course.” She sat up and I moved beside her, this is really weird now. Like...I thought about it? But now it’s actually happening? I just didn’t think it would happen. This moment is very surreal for me. I don’t even care if we stop right now anymore, just want her here with me. How it should be. “Of course, no pressure to do this-“

“Harry, I asked.”

“Right.”

I remember the first day I realised I liked her, I was 14 or 15, I really was starting to notice her then that day it just clicked in my mind.

I looked at her and I knew. That day...she also asked me to kiss her for the first time, but not for the reason I would’ve wanted.

11 years ago, Harry’s room.

Mum let Y/N come over today, it is summer, there’s not much of a reason for her to say no. I looked over at her and saw her scrolling through her phone and I let out a puff of air through my lips out of boredom.

“Oh, what is it?” I looked over at her on her spot on the floor, I laid back and let my head hang off of the edge of the bed, keeping my eyes on her. “You look weird when you’re upside down like that, stupid.”

“Thanks a lot. I’m bored, don’t you want to do something except go on your new phone? What on there could possibly be more interesting than me?” She grinned and I groaned, she definitely had something to tell.

“Well, you know Aidan?” I nodded my head and closed my eyes, Aidan’s a nice guy but he’s nothing compared to me. But I, of course...am not trying to make a move on Y/N. “Well, he gave me his number and we’ve been texting non-stop, I’m really excited about it, he’s such a good guy.”

“Pfft, I’m better. I’m sure anyone would rather hang out with me than Aidan. I’m a good guy too, I’ve always treated you good, haven’t I?” She raised an eyebrow and I slapped my hand over my mouth, why do I sound jealous? “Please, I just want you to hang out with me when you come over.”

“You really are needy. Fine.” She clicked the off button on the side of her phone and stood up, walking over to the side of the bed. I felt something on my stomach and lifted my head up, she laid her head on my stomach. Made me feel funny. “What are we going to do then?”

“You want to go out somewhere, we could go in my back garden? Treehouse?” Her head perked up and she slapped my stomach lightly. “Um, ow?”

“You’re a genius, treehouse it is then.” She stood up and I forced myself to sit up, raising my arms and stretching my back to try to get it to maybe crack, it fucking hurt getting up after being it that position. “C’mon lazy, get up.”

“I am, I am. Fucking hell.” I grabbed my shoes that were just beside the bed and quickly put them on, getting up and following behind her as she opened my door and made her way out of my room. “I swear you walk around this place like you live here sometimes...”

“I basically do.”

“That’s very true.” She reached behind her and grabbed my hand, I felt my face immediately heating up and she didn’t even react as she dragged me behind her while she walked down the wooden stairs. “It’s just the treehouse, it’s not going anywhere, you don’t need to hurry.”

“I want to hurry though, I like the treehouse.”

“Do you use me for my treehouse?”

“Yes.” I gasped and she squeezed my hand tightly, making me let out a yelp of pain. “Don’t act like you didn’t know that the only reason I hang out with you is for Gemma and your treehouse. I’ve always liked Gemma better than you by the way.” I rolled my eyes and pulled on her arm so that she stopped.

“If we run anymore I’m probably going to get a stitch. Also, I’m much better than Gemma don’t lie, you always hang out with me when you’re here.” I could just imagine that sharp pain in my side, fuck no, it’s the worst, I’ll do all I can to avoid getting a stitch.

“I hang out with you so that our friendship can build up and I can break your heart so much you’ll never forget me, baby.” Friend-zoned and called baby in the same sentence, okay. “Nah, don’t worry. Still love you.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek, quickly turning back around and dragging me out of the house to the back garden with her.

She just kissed my cheek. She just kissed my cheek? I brought up to my cheek and held it there as we walked out of the door to my garden. I got to slap myself, got to wake up. I raised my hand and brought it down onto my cheek, groaning when she turned around at the slapping noise and I learned it wasn’t a dream and I’ve just embarrassed myself. “Did you just slap yourself?”

“I felt something on my cheek, thought it was a fly or something, I hate them.” She raised her eyebrow to show that she was unconvinced and let go of my hand, walking away from me to the ladder that led to the treehouse.

“Whatever, let’s go up.”

“Wait! I need to go up and...clean...” She gave me a cheeky smile and grabbed onto the ladder, quickly moving up it. “Wait! Stop!”

“Nope!” I went up the ladder after her, quickly realising I had to stare at the ladder as I went up because she chose to wear a dress today. “What’re you hiding in here?...” She made her way into the treehouse and I went in after her. “Is this a diary?”

“No! Don’t read it!”

She opened up the first page and started to read it aloud. “I’ve been feeling different about her lately-“ I grabbed the personal little diary from her quickly and closed it, squeezing the edges tightly and probably causing some damage from how tightly I was gripping it. “Aw, have you got a little crush on someone, Harry? Who is she that you’re talking about?”

“None of your business!” I placed the book behind me and crossed my arms. “Just leave it alone...”

“Hm, alright...have you kissed anybody yet?” Should I lie or tell the truth? The truth is a little too embarrassing but I don’t like lying to her.

“Uh, no. Have you?”

“No...the reason I asked is well...I don’t want to go out with Aidan without even kissing anyone, so I was going to ask if...could you kiss me?” Woah woah woah, did she just actually ask me to kiss her? Pause, this can’t be right. “Please? It’ll feel like it’s over as quickly as it started, promise.”

“Yeah, I can totally kiss you. Just because you asked.” I should totally not be getting butterflies right now. “Let’s do it quickly. If we wait, I’m not going to be able to do it.”

“Right, okay...” I crossed my legs and sat in front of me, copying the way I crossed my legs. “Come here, then.”

I lifted my hand up to her cheek and leaned my upper body forward towards her, this is so normal. I closed my eyes and pursed my lips, just moving forward until I felt her lips against mine. Fuck.

I think I’ve figured out what the butterflies mean.

Present

“Harry, are you alright? It’s like you’re somewhere else.” She snapped her fingers in front of my face and I turned my head to look at her. How the hell did I drift away while this was happening. “Do you still want to do this?”

“I still want to, I just went somewhere else for a second, sorry.” Her hand landed on my thigh and I stared down at it, I think it just actually hit me what we’re doing, she’s going to try and...get me off? Ew, can’t believe I just said that, sorry.

“Okay.” Her hand moved up my thigh and I turned my head towards her again. “Relax, there’s no pressure to continue anymore.”

“I just need you to kiss me, I don’t feel pressured.”

“I can do that.” I lifted up to her cheek like I did that first time and leaned in towards her, pressing my lips against hers and moving my hand down to her throat but I didn’t squeeze tightly in case she didn’t want it.

I felt her hand close around my cock and I pressed my fingers into the skin of her neck. She pulled back from my lips and moved to my neck as she started to move her head, twisting it when she moved her hand up. “Uh-“

She started to suck my skin between her teeth and I moved my hand to the back of her head, keeping her there. “Fucking h-“ Her hand started to move faster and I squeezed my hand around her throat tighter, I could barely see anymore, my vision was so blurry from the pleasure.

She pulled back from my neck and I let go of her throat, instead choosing to grip the bedsheets because I don’t want to hurt her too bad. “You can’t even speak, can you?” She reached up and wrapped her fingers around my throat like I did before. This is new. But a really fucking good kind of new. “You look a little pathetic, I’m touching you and you can barely speak. I don’t even have to try, do it?”

“No...” I mumbled back my response quietly and she smirked, I’ve never really been the one without power but this is...good. So good.

“Are you not going to speak up? Imagine people knowing that the Harry Styles is actually pathetic and likes to be choked?” Is she degrading me? Why don’t I have a problem with it?

“I’m not ashamed.”

“No? Would you beg on your knees, H?” She stopped moving her hand and let go of my cock, making me whine. “Would you beg for me to touch you?”

“What?” Beg on my knees? She’d probably laugh at me.

“Would you beg on your knees?” She tightened her hand around my throat and I swallowed harshly, what the actual fuck is happening? “Are you nervous, Harry?”

“Pfft, me? Nervous? Nope! I’m just...unsure...about what is happening.”

“It’s okay to be the vulnerable one sometimes, Harry, but only be the vulnerable one if you’re comfortable with it.” She released her grip on my throat and I reached up, laying my hand over hers and making her squeeze my neck tightly again.

“I can be the vulnerable one...well...I can try my best to be the vulnerable one.” I kept my hand over hers and stared at her straight in the eyes, she needs to know I’m being serious since I’m not serious most times, which can cause problems.

“Have you thought about this before? Thought about someone telling you what to do instead of telling them?” I swallowed and contemplated whether I should tell her or not, she wouldn’t embarrass me surely? Then again, it turns out the she rather enjoys humiliating me so I don’t know. “Hurry up and tell me before I stop what I’m doing.”

“Yes! I-I thought about it before but I was too scared to try it or ask someone to try it so I just didn’t...can I touch you?” I reached my left hand out to her and she slapped it away, not harshly but it left a little sting. “Damn!”

“You didn’t even wait after you asked your question, I was going to say no, by the way. You probably wouldn’t have fucking listened anyway.” She squeezed her hand around my neck when she said those last three words and I whimpered at the feeling of pleasure I was getting from the pain. “Oh you like that?”

“Yeah...just let me fucking touch you.” I grabbed her arm and she let go of my throat from shock. “I can’t wait anymore, I was enjoying myself but I’m not patient, I’m not waiting on you any longer.” I pushed her back down onto the bed and crawled over her. “You can just listen to me now.”

“No, you can’t just- I was enjoying myself! Do you know how fun it is making men be the ones begging to be touched?” She pouted her lips and I smiled, too bad.

“How do you expect me to listen when you can’t listen yourself? I’m going to do what I want.” I rested my middle and ring finger on her lips. “Suck ‘em.”

“No.”

“Fucking do it.” She opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out, I moved my fingers onto her tongue and she wrapped her lips around them. “Good girl.” I brought my other hand to her cheek and smoothed my thumb back and forth on her skin.

I pulled my fingers out of her mouth and she smirked at me. “That what you wanted?” The small smile I had on my face dropped immediately when I heard her sarcastic tone, she’s trying to annoy me. “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”

“Fuck, just be quiet.” She wrapped her legs around my waist and I grunted when she pulled me down on top of her. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’ve gotten impatient waiting for you too, get on with it.” I placed my hands flat on the bed and lifted my upper body up. “Are you going go fuck me now?”

“No,” She raised her eyebrows and I looked down between our bodies. “Was going to touch you first but you just don’t deserve it anymore. Well, maybe I’ll just keep going until you’re begging me to give you a break.”

“Please...” She said it so quietly that I almost didn’t hear it.

“Didn’t quite hear you, what’s you say?” She clicked her tongue and looked away from me so I moved my hips forward and bit my lip when I felt my cock against her pussy. “Tell me what you said, love.”

“I said...please...” She pleaded and moved my hips forward again and moaned softly in her ear. “Fuck me...”

“I need a condom.” I moved back from her a little bit and she grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

“No, no...I’m on the pill.” I sighed and bit my lip, is it worth the risk? “Please. Need you to fill me up, Harry.” Yup, worth it.

“Okay, okay. I can definitely do that for you.” I looked down and grabbed my cock, moving my hand a bit before positioning myself. “Are you ready for this?”

“So ready.” I pushed into her a little bit then let go of my cock, bringing my hand to her waist and looking back at her face to see her with her eyes shut and her mouth hung open but nothing was coming out of her mouth.

“Shit, you feel good...” I leaned my head down into her neck and sucked at her skin, starting to move my hips slowly. The room was starting to get darker because it was almost night now but the light that was shining onto her skin made her look so good, it felt surreal that she was letting me touch her when she looked this good.

“Harry, go faster.” I gave her neck one last kiss and lifted my head up and drew my hips back, I looked at her eyes that were brighter because of the light and noticed that she was looking back and forth between my eyes and my lips. I thrusted my hips forward suddenly and she let out a moan that I think she wasn’t even expecting to come from her. “Well, that was definitely harder.”

I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers before starting to move my hips again, moving them harder than I was before, I want her at my mercy. “You going to take it like a whore, baby?” What the fuck did I just say. “I mean-“

“Say what you want, it’s not going to scare me.”

I took a deep breath and spoke again. “Take it like a fucking whore.”

Taglist

@marlananicole @kiwi_isgolden @kiwiisgolden @repostcentral @stylessugarhigh @i-love-superhero @spirittp3 @chrrychemtrails @iamnotsocool @partr1dge @nearlyheadlesslouise @bxtchboy69

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

CURSED: CHAPTER ONE

"He was a boy, She was a girl"

Kai Parker x OC!Mack Grace

Series synopsis: "We're both cursed, in a way."

We all know the story of Kai Parker, but he once lived in a very different life. Do you ever wonder what that life looked like?

Chapter summary: Mack meets a new guy at school, Kai Parker

Warnings: swearing?

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Mackenzie pulled open the car door and climbed into the passenger seat, leaning over the middle console and planting a sweet kiss on Ben's lips. He smiled into the kiss and pulled away.

"Morning babe." He said happily.

"Morning." She smiled back.

Mack dropped her bag by her feet and sat back, pulling her seatbelt across her body and plugging it in. Ben revved the engine and began driving off in the direction of the school, arguably way to fast.

The whole way to school Ben hammered on about how annoying the freshmans would be and how he was so ready to be the quarterback this year. Mack nodded along and made sounds of agreement every now and then, but she really didn't care much for Ben's popular boy life. Mack was the quiet girl who got good grades and sat on her own at lunch. She only went to parties and attended football games so she would appear the 'perfect girlfriend' as Ben said.

As they pulled into the school parking lot, Ben turned to her and cupped her face, pulling her in for a long kiss that was only really to give everyone else a show. And that made her stomach drop. They got out the car and instantly she felt Ben's arm wrap around her waist, pulling her into his side tightly.

As they wandered through the halls everyone waved and said hi to Ben, completely ignoring Mack. Ben received the wanting stares of girls and some claps on the back from some of the guys on the football team. As they reached her locker Mack stopped and unlocked it, shoving her books inside and grabbing her sketch book.

"I still don't know why you even bother with those, you're not good enough to get a scholarship." Ben said bitterly, motioning to her sketch book. Mack furrowed her brows and slammed her locker shut, charging off to her first period class. She heard Ben call after her but ignored him, knowing it'd come back to bite her later.

The head splitting noise of the clock ticking filled her ears, the screeching of chair legs against the scratchy floor and the constant first-day-back chatter of her classmates slowly driving Mack insane. She'd been in the room for less than five minutes and she was already ready to self combust just to get out of this hell-hole. The graphite gilded across the page as she drew, sketching god knows what and doodling all over her sketch book pages. Someone coughed obnoxiously above her and Mack instantly looked up, coming face to face with a super hot boy she'd never seen before.

"Is this seat taken?" He spoke with a hint of cockiness, gesturing to the empty seat beside Mack. She shook her head and watched as he made his way round and pulled out the chair, dumping his bag next to the table leg and plopping down into his seat, leaning back and crossing his ankles. He looked over to Mack and her head snapped back down, her attention back on her sketches.

The teacher walked in and Mack quickly placed her textbook over her sketches, hiding them and pretending to pay attention. In actual fact, she already knew what the teacher was talking about, the droning sound of his voice like a white noise.

About half way through the lesson Mack felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked to where it came from only to see the boy from before studying her intently.

"So what's the deal with you? I don't think I've heard you mutter a single word since I've seen you." He asked, slightly confused. Mack shook her head and looked down at the desk before looking back up again, her sight instantly catching the boy's captivating blue-grey eyes.

"Who are you? I've never seen you before." She asked shyly, speaking more than she'd like to. The boy grinned widely before offering his hand for her to shake.

"Kai, Kai Parker. And I just moved here last weekend. My twin sister is also in our grade." Mack nodded and kept sketching, hoping he'd leave her alone now. But he didn't. "So how long have you lived here? What's your name?" He continued. Mack sighed.

"All my life, and I'm Mack Grace." She said almost too quietly. The sound of his voice made Mack rest her head in her hands and try to tune him out, but nothing worked.

"Mack? As in Mackenzie? That's an awful long name. Do you go by a nickname? Mack - no, too many people call you that, I bet it's what you tell everyone to call you. Oh, oh what about Kenzie? Actually, no. Too long. Ohhhh I know! I'll call you Kenz. There we go, short, sweet and catchy. Nice to meet you Kenz." Kai babbled on, not realising Mack had completely ignored him.

She'd just met the guy and she already hated him. Mack felt awful but he was just so annoying. Hot, but annoying. The rest of the lesson continued like that, Kai chatting incessantly in Mack's ear as she tried to get the work done so she could go back to her sketching and ignoring him.

"Those are soooo good." Kai basically whispered as he leant over Mack's shoulder with wide eyes, entranced as her pencil moved over the page. She snapped the book shut to stop him from looking and he turned away, muttering an offended, "O-kay." And whistling while rolling his eyes. He was staring at just the page she'd done that lesson, which was now almost completely covered in sketches of people in their class, from all the angles Mack could see them from her seat. She rolled her eyes and kept drawing, letting her long hair fall as a curtain to hide herself from him.

The sound of the bell was like music to her ears and Mack instantly stood, scooping her books into her arms and charging out the class and down the hall. With her eyes kept trained down, Mack didn't realise someone was in front of her until she collided with them. They both fell to the ground and Mack's sketches were littered all over the floor, pieces of loose paper floating down around them. She scrabbled to her knees and crawled around aimlessly, picking up the pages and stuffing them back into her book. She went to grab the last page but the other girl got there first, Mack's eyes drifting up to meet hers.

"S-Sorry." Mack said shyly, taking the page from the mystery girl and slowly standing up. The other girl joined her, giving Mack a warm smile.

"Don't worry about it, it was my fault. I'm Jo." She said reassuringly, offering her hand to Mack, who hesitantly took it before shaking.

"I'm Mack." Jo smiled at her and let Mack's hand go, stepping back slightly and speaking up again.

"Do you know where Mrs Price's class room is? I'm totally lost and totally new here." Jo admitted bashfully, looking at Mack with pleading eyes. Mack nodded and motioned for Jo to follow her before they both walked down the hall, side-by-side.

"You don't talk much." Jo observed - not in a rude way though - as they approached the door to the classroom. Mack nodded and opened the door, letting Jo walk in first. She thanked Mack before heading inside and picking two seats at the back for her and Mack.

"I was never really listened to, so I stopped talking." Mack said simply, sitting down and folding her arms over the desk. Jo nodded slowly and turned her attention to the front of the class, where Mrs Price was introducing herself to the class.

As the lesson went on Mack felt as if she could sleep, she hated American History. It was so dull and useless, not to mention Mack could probably correct Mrs Price in every 'fact' she told. Finally they were set some work and a sheet landed on her desk. Mack picked it up and examined it, just a boring old worksheet. Mack turned to Jo, hoping to find out more about her.

"So you said you were new?" Mack began. Jo made a noise of confirmation before elaborating.

"We only moved here last weekend, family of 10. I have a twin brother and a bunch of younger siblings." Mack nodded and furrowed her brows in thought.

"A twin?" She pushed.

"Yeah, he's a good brother but is extremely annoying." Jo chuckled. That's when it clicked.

"By any chance is your twin Kai?" Mack asked, suddenly realising the resemblance between the two. Jo nodded and wrote something down.

"You've met him?" Jo said while writing.

"Yeah, I sat next to him in first period. Does he ever shut up?" Mack said with a laugh at the memory of Kai chatting in her ear for the whole hour. Jo laughed too.

"Sometimes. If he's eating or-" Jo cut herself off quickly before she said too much. Mack tilted her head to the side in confusion.

"Or what?" She asked.

"Oh, um, or if he's listening to m-music." Jo answered quickly. Mack nodded uncertainly and begun her worksheet too.

Mack slowly wandered out to the car park from her last period lesson, really not wanting to spend the whole ride with Ben, but knowing she had no other way home. She walked up to Ben's car and saw him leaning against the car door, arms folded over his chest.

"Hey babe." He smirked, pulling her into a kiss. Ugh, Mack hated the name 'babe' but decided to say nothing. She smiled and said hi back quietly before opening her car door and plopping down on the seat, leaving her bag on the floor at her feet. She began humming a tune, tapping her nails lightly against the armrest as she did so. Mack looked over at Ben as she felt him sit down, shutting his door with a thud and putting the keys in the ignition. She turned her attention to her window, watching as couples walked by holding hands and friends gossiped about their first day back after winter break.

"Please stop humming, it's almost as bad as listening to you talk about fucking art scholarships." Ben snapped, huffing frustratedly and pulling out the parking space. Mack stopped and frowned, looking out the window again and ignoring whatever shitty music he put on.

Her mind drifted as they drove home, thinking about her day. Meeting Jo might've been the best thing to happen to her, seeing as she was a potential best friend. Mack and Jo really clicked, they just kind of understood each other. After their second period had ended, Mack had asked Jo to sit with her at lunch and she agreed.

The other person she thought about was Kai. God, Kai. She new he was annoying, a typical grade-A asshole and extremely attractive. She knew she should stay away, and that she shouldn't think about a guy as attractive as him when she had a boyfriend, but she didn't care. He was probably the most talkative person she'd ever met and also the most annoying, but Mack felt drawn to him, strangely.

"Mack, Mack!" Ben repeated, waving his hand in front of her face. Mack snapped out her thoughts and looked over at Ben, who didn't look too happy. "We're here." Is all he said, gesturing to Mack's small house behind him. She fake smiled and thanked him for the ride, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips before grabbing her bag and getting out the car.

"Hey Dad." Mack Shouted as she walked through the door, dropping her bag on a chair and walking into the small kitchen and reaching for a glass from the cupboard. She filled it with water and gulped it all down, setting the glass down on the counter before sitting at the small dining table and opening her bag.

"Hey Wolfy." Mack's Dad smiled, ruffling her hair as he walked past. "How was school?" He asked.

"Good I guess, I think I made a new friend." Mack said happily, pulling out her textbooks and starting her math homework.

"Good good." Her dad said, sitting down on the plush old armchair that was fading from age. He picked up his book and put on his glasses, opening it up and peering over the top at Mack. "Your sister has the night shift tonight and I'm meeting Tony for a meeting about the company at eight, so you have the house to yourself tonight." He said before redirecting his eyes to his book.

Mack's dad helped run a company with his best friend Tony, but it wasn't very big. They struggled with money so her sister wasn't in college, so she already worked at a local business and often took on an extra night shifts to help with money. Mack worked a weekend job, but spent lots of her time on her school work and drawing. She was insanely smart, getting straight A's in every subject with almost no effort, but she'd never get a scholarship off of that alone. The only thing she had a shot at was an art scholarship, otherwise she wouldn't get to go to college at all.

Mack looked up at the sound of the phone and so did her dad, but before she could answer it he got there first. He listened for a moment before holding out the phone for Mack to take.

"It's Ben." He said before walking off.

"Hey are you doing anything tonight?" Ben asked. Mack chewed her lip, contemplating her answer before deciding he'd be able to tell if she lied.

"No, Kim is taking the night shift and my dad is going out at eight." She said, still not sure if she should've just said she was busy.

"Perfect. I'll come over for eight thirty?" Ben said.

Mack gulped. This would be the first time she was home alone with Ben and for some reason the thought scared her rather than excited her.

"See you at eight thirty."

[softieforshadowhunters]

i will stand with you

blackstairs fanfiction!

read on archive of our own : https://archiveofourown.org/works/25244527

soooo i’m very new to tumblr and fanfiction but i decided to write a short story about emma and julian since they are my favorite ship in tsc. it’s just a little feel-good story where julian comforts emma as she deals with her fear of the ocean and the death of her parents...i hope you enjoy!!

The fear had been ingrained in her since the day she found her parents’ mutilated bodies washed up on the sand in Los Angeles. It didn’t matter that they didn’t actually die thrashing around in the waves, scrambling towards the surface, begging for air. It didn’t matter that they had been killed by a warlock on dry land and left lying around for someone to stumble upon. The fear was born that day, and the fear still lived on. 

Staring out at the endless deep blue abyss, all she could feel was the fear — the tightening in her chest that made it hard to breathe, the beating of her heart steadily growing faster and faster and faster, so fast that she thought it was going to break through her chest but she couldn’t breathe or speak or —

“Emma. Emma, look at me.”

Emma tore her gaze from the sea and turned towards the voice. It was that voice, his voice, that had always been able to reach her when no one else’s could. It was his words that brought her comfort — they always had and they always would. From the secrets whispered in her ear when they were just children to the vow of loyalty and friendship that he proclaimed to her in their parabatai ceremony to the promises he breathed against her skin every morning when they woke up in each other’s arms — that he would never leave her, that he would always protect her, and that she was his happiness, his refuge, his universe, his Emma. Even now, years and years later, it was his voice that she loved to hear the most. 

“Emma, love, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.”

Over and over he whispered those two words against her as he held her close, his breath stirring the blond strands of her hair. 

“Jules,” was all she could manage to say. 

Responding to her voice, he began to pull away from their embrace, but Emma tightened her hold on him so that they were pressed up against each other even closer than before. She wasn’t ready to talk — she just needed him to hold her. Her skin tingled as he ran his hands up her arms that were wrapped tightly around his waist. He started at her elbow, tracing soothing lines up to her shoulder before wrapping his arms around her fully, letting one hand rest in the center of her back while the other found its way into her hair. She heard him softly telling her that she was safe, that everything was alright, that he loved her and would always protect her, but she felt so far away. All she could hear was the crash of the waves banging against the shore again and again and again. She felt like she was drowning and it didn’t matter that she was on dry land, up on the porch of their little house that sat quite a ways from the water. She had to get away from it all or she was going to drown.

“Can we go inside?” she whispered against Julian’s shirt. He smelled like he always did — cloves, soap, and salt — and she knotted her hands in the fabric as he lifted her up from the waist to carry her inside. She brought her legs around his torso and crossed her feet so that they rested against the small of his back. She squeezed her thighs so that she was wrapped so tightly around him that she worried for a second that he might not be able to breathe. It wasn’t that she feared that he would drop her — Julian was strong and she trusted him more than anyone in the world — but her ears still rang with the beat of the ocean waves and he was the only thing that kept her from falling under their dark cover. 

Julian sat down on the edge of the bed and scooted back so that he was leaning against the pillows layered in front of the headboard. Emma was now seated in his lap with her knees on either side of his waist. Despite the change in position, her arms were still locked around his neck and her forehead rested against his shoulder. He traced circles on her back and whispered soothingly into her hair. Everything about him — every word, every touch — was soft and gentle. 

Emma could hear Kieran’s voice in her mind telling Julian that he had a ruthless heart. She could see herself standing in front of him when they were still parabatai telling him that he had scared her, the way he crafted lies with ease and delivered them without batting an eye. But this Julian, the one who held her now, he was gentle. Because Julian was gentle with the things that he loved. 

Emma knew that his heart wasn’t ruthless, it was simply broken — just as hers was. They both had lost so much and endured pain that no one should have to endure. It left them shattered, simply fragments of who they could have been if their parents were alive, if there had never been a war, and if they had been normal parabatai — parabatai that had never fallen in love. But their parents had died, and they had fought in a war, and they had fallen in love, but together they picked up the broken pieces and they each served as the glue that held the other together. It was love that turned Julian from an innocent boy into a man — a man who killed his own father to protect his siblings, who raised four kids when he was only twelve years old, who watched as his sister died in his arms, who started wars and won them no matter the cost. It was love that made Julian ruthless. But it was love that made him gentle too. 

Eventually Emma’s heart rate slowed and her grip on Julian loosened. Sensing this change, Julian spoke.

“Em?” he whispered.

The years they had spent together allowed them to hear the words left unspoken between them. Emma knew that he was doing more than simply asking if she was ready to talk. In just that one syllable, there were hidden promises: that if she was ready to talk then he was ready to listen and that if she wasn’t, then he would hold her close until the time came. All she wanted was to stay wrapped up in Julian’s arms and let him tell her over and over that she was safe and that he loved her until her fears faded away, replaced by his soft voice and his strong hands. But she was a warrior. This was simply another battle that she had to fight.

Emma took a deep breath to ground herself and squeezed her eyes shut as she lifted her forehead from the safety of Julian’s shoulder. She kept her eyes closed as she straightened her spine so that she sat upright in Julian’s lap. Even when she felt him push a lock of hair behind her ear and even when he kissed the tops of her eyelids with a tenderness that made Emma’s heart squeeze in her chest because she didn’t deserve this boy or the love and patience that he showed her; she didn’t deserve someone as good as Julian; she was broken beyond repair and she didn’t deserve someone who was so willing to break himself apart to put her back together — even then, she kept her eyes closed. It was not until she heard his voice that she let herself see his face.

“Emma, look at me,” he breathed.

The first thing she saw was the pair of blue-green eyes that she knew so well starting back at her. She remembered the night on the beach when she had looked in his eyes and seen pure fear and desperation. In some ways it had been terrifying to see him so out of control — Julian was supposed to be the level-headed one who kept her grounded and tempered her blazing fire. But that night the walls he had built so carefully around himself fell apart in front of her.

“We are bound together Emma,” he had said. “Bound together — I breathe when you breathe, I bleed when you bleed, I’m yours and you’re mine, you’ve always been mine, and I have always, always belonged to you!”

Now when she looked at him his eyes were clear — the wall had been gone for so long now — and his gaze upon her was steady. There was overwhelming gentleness in those blue-green windows mixed with a tinge of sadness at seeing Emma in pain. Without thinking, she ran her thumbs under his eyes and down his cheeks as though she were wiping away his tears. She was the one with wet cheeks, however, not him. 

He smiled softly and his eyes fluttered shut at her touch for just a second before he was looking at her again. 

“Ems, talk to me,” he pleaded and the softness of his voice broke whatever wall was holding her together. 

“It terrifies me,” she cried, choking on her tears. “I can’t think or breathe or move and I just imagine them dying over and over again and I never got to say goodbye and I —”

A sob escaping from her throat interrupted her spill of words and she quickly clasped her hand over her mouth to cut it off. Julian tightened his arms around her and pulled her closer to him so that she was curled up against his body. He kissed her temple and spoke to her softly promising once again that she was safe, that he was there and he wasn’t going to leave, that above all else he loved her and everything was going to be okay. When the sobs that racked her body subsided, Julian spoke again. 

“Your parents loved you, Emma. And I wish they were here.” He planted a kiss on her shoulder before continuing. “God, I wish they were here. I wish they all were here, that we could have all made it out in one piece.” He took a shuddering breath and Emma knew that he was thinking about Livvy and remembering her sweet smile and bright eyes that lost their light when she died in Julian’s arms. She knew that there would always be a hole in Julian’s heart where Livvy should be and that there was a part of him that would always be broken. No matter how hard she tried, that piece could only be healed by his sister’s touch — a touch that he would never experience again. 

It was her turn to comfort him now, to save him from the thoughts that ran through his mind each night; the thoughts that drove him into a spiral of guilt and grief so deep that it left him frenzied and lost whenever he resurfaced. She pushed herself up onto her knees so that he had to crane his neck back slightly to look at her face. She pressed her lips to his forehead and wrapped her arms around him, resting one hand at the back of his neck and the other in the curls of his hair. They were both so broken; scarred by their trauma so deeply that it woke them up in the middle of the night sweating and screaming and breathing heavily, but they were always there to comfort one another. Sometimes it was Julian holding Emma in his lap while the nightmare subsided and other nights it was Emma shaking Julian awake, pulling him out of the dark places that his mind took him, grabbing his face in her hands and waiting until his eyes cleared with the realization that the nightmare wasn’t real but Emma who sat in the bed beside him was. 

They were broken yes, but they were also strong. Even after losing so many, they still chose to love, and it was the love they had for one another that soared above it all. They were strong in that they still found joy and laughter despite the sadness they had endured and they still saw hope for a better future even with the darkness of their past casting a shadow over them. They were strong. It was what they whispered to each other on the nights when the nightmares came — they were strong, they were okay, they had each other and they would make it through. 

Julian pulled away and looked up at Emma, twirling a lock of her hair around his finger. He looked her in the eyes and spoke, no longer allowing himself to be comforted when he knew that Emma needed it more. 

“I know that it scares you.” His voice was steady and his gaze upon her never wavered. “But we fear things because we value them. For so many years you believed that it was the ocean that took your parents, that they died hidden underneath the surface in endless darkness. And so you feared the ocean because it took the two people you loved most in the world. And it may take years before that fear subsides, but you are strong, Emma Carstairs. You are the strongest and the bravest person I know and when the day comes that you want to dip your feet in the water, I will stand with you.”

He leaned up to brush his lips against her jaw and then her neck before settling back down again. He took her face in his hands so that she was looking straight into his eyes. “But until then,” he whispered, “we will stay on dry land and I will stand with you here, too.” 

With a small tilt of his head he brought his lips to hers. He let his hands travel down her back until they found a place to rest on her hips while Emma brought her hands up to cup his face as she deepened the kiss. She ran her thumbs across his cheeks and allowed herself to get lost in the taste of his lips. She opened her mouth over his, breaking the kiss for just a second before connecting with him again. It was slow and gentle — exactly what both of them needed. They loved each other with a passion that burned inside of them like fire, but sometimes a brush of lips and a whispered “I love you” was all they needed to keep themselves from falling apart. 

Emma pulled away, at last, still holding Julian’s face in her hands. Their foreheads were pressed together and Emma looked down upon Julian’s closed eyes, his dark eyelashes resting on his cheekbones. He looked so young, so innocent — there was no ruthlessness in this boy. But no matter how he looked, Emma knew that he had grown up too quickly in order to take care of his siblings and that his innocence had been stolen long ago, replaced by blood on his hands. Julian Blackthorn was ruthless, but only to those who threatened what he loved. And Emma was the one he loved the most. 

“Julian,” Emma whispered into the space between them. 

He mumbled a soft “Hm?” and opened his eyes in response to her voice, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips. 

“I love you,” Emma said quietly. 

He brought his hand up to push her hair out of her face and allowed a single golden strand to flow across his palm as his fingers traveled down to the frayed ends. “I love you too, Emma,” he whispered back. 

They sat in the silence for a while, arms wrapped around each other as the sound of waves crashing against the shore seeped into their little house. Finally, Emma spoke. 

“Jules?” 

“ Yeah?”

“Can we go put our feet in the water?”

He slowly moved his forehead away from hers and looked at her closely for a long time, running his finger across her face, tracing the shape of her lips. He couldn’t help but smile. This was his Emma — a warrior who faced her fears head-on and never considered even for a second that they would get the final say. 

“Are you sure?” was all he said.

“Yeah,” she replied and her mouth slowly grew into the shape of a smile. It was that smile that brought Julian a feeling of happiness so strong and so deep that sometimes he thought that it would kill him. But no, he would survive it, he would survive all of it — all the wars, all the battles, all the demons in the world. You could turn a thousand soldiers against him and he would come away victorious just for the chance to see that smile one more time.  

“Yeah, I’m ready. All I need is you,” she said.

“You have me,” he promised her. “Always and forever, you have me.”

[honeybearloco]

“...Bonnie and Clyde.”

title → "...bonnie and clyde.”

pairing → bryan cha$e x female reader

synopsis → a modern-day bonnie and clyde. 

word count → 1.5k.

trigger warning → mentions of robberies, blood, murder, crimes.

a/n → so the original request was for something like a modern-day bonnie and clyde but without the tragedy at the end sksksk. so this is a crime au. this is long as hell for literally no reason and this SOOOO bad. i wouldn’t read it. 

He was bad for you and you knew it. That didn’t stop you from wanting him.

You were a good girl. You came from a good family. Both of your parents had stable high paying jobs, you seemed to be at the top of everything. You were spoiled rotten. 

Both of your parents choose to spoil you in order for you to not see the world for what it truly was. A terrible place that had no sympathy for anyone.

You lived the lavish life. Anything you wanted, you could have. But you didn’t want material things. You wanted more.

When you were 18, you were married off to a man around the same age, a little older. His father was from a company that your father had wanted to put under his belt to control.

There was no love. You were nothing but a young housewife. You hated it. You hated this lifestyle. You wanted to do more than be a baby factory for some man who doesn’t even love you. 

You packed your things and fled your house with the little money you had and all of your belongings. You managed to stay in a motel for about a week before you were kicked out as you had no money. You were on the street, all alone. And that’s when you saw him. Bryan. 

Your eyes never his, as he walked up to you and offered you a place to rest your head at his place. You declined, not knowing if he had good intentions or not. He didn’t say much but not much was needed. Your first meeting was short but memorable. His smirk, his face. He was everything that your family had told you to stay away from, but he embodied what you craved. 

You craved danger. 

You craved adventure. 

You crave energy. 

And he gave you all of that, sometimes all at the same time. You couldn’t tell if it was love or lust, but you wanted him. And by the look in his eyes, he wanted you too.

One rainy night, you had come to him, taking his offer for the place to the stay, not wanting to stay on the street anymore, just wanting a bed to lay on. And that’s when you did it. You smashed your lips on his, not thinking. 

It was just the two of you at that moment. This was about the two of you. Not your parents. Not the husband you had who was still legally your husband. Not the rich life you once had. 

It was about you and Bryan. You gave yourself to him.

“Run with me,” He told you. 

“Where will we go?” You asked. 

“Across the nation,” He answered, taking your face into his hands. 

You accepted his offer and ran away with him. Across the nation, the two of you had gone.

You knew he was a bad guy but you didn’t know how bad until he told you to wait until the car as he walked into a small gas station. You didn’t realize what had happened until you heard the sound of a woman’s scream and a gunshot. You froze, hearing the sounds of sure of what to do. It enabled your flight or fight response. You chose to freeze, the world around you moving in slow motion.

Reality settled in as Bryan slammed the driver’s door with a small bag of money and a gun in his other hand. 

“You...you...” You were at a lost for words. The man you had fallen in love with was more dangerous than you thought. He started the car, handing the gun to you. As you held it in your hands, you felt both disgusted and terrified.

And it happened again...and again...and again. You had become an accomplice. It wasn’t until Bryan found himself in trouble. 

He was held at gunpoint by a gas station owner. You couldn’t lose him. Though he was a bad man, you couldn’t lose the person who had saved you, who had cared for you, who had taken you in when you ran. 

You reached into the glove department of his car and pulled out a second gun he had stored. You shakily held it up to the gas station owner, looking away from shooting. She had hoped to hit his shoulder, but instead, you hit his head, killing the man.

You opened your eyes seeing the dead body, the feeling of the world stopping around you had returned. You were just like him. “I..I...”

That was the first of many for you. You would do anything to protect Bryan and he would do anything to protect you.

This would be your last and biggest heist before you and Bryan were going to find a place to rest. You were going to rob a bank. You both had a great plan or you had hoped. You had managed to seduce your way into a position at the bank, you knew it inside and out.

As everyone had gone home, you remained, allowing Bryan in. You unlocked the safe, revealing around 200,000 in cash.

“Jackpot,” Bryan whispered, pulling you in for a passionate kiss. Between the two of you, you both tried to get as much as you could, hearing the sounds of sirens heading toward the area.

“Damnit, someone snitched!” You growled. You took a hold of Bryan’s hand and ran, heading to the car. You were prepared, “Bryan you ready to die today?”

He smirked, “With you by my side, I’m ready to die any day.”

He drove fast, hearing the sirens getting louder. You looked in the side mirror seeing around several police cars. You chuckled, reaching into the back finding a large gun. You loaded it and stuck yourself out of the window, “I got you covered. You find a place where we can fight them off.”

“You got it, babe,” He stepped on it. 

You moved your head, looking through the scope of the gun, aiming toward a driver of one of the patrol cars, ‘Target locked. And...fire!’

You pulled the trigger, shooting directly through the head of the officer, causing him to swerve onto the side of the road, the car rolling several times before stopping. You smirked to yourself, feeling accomplished.

Again and again, you landed headshots, trying to clear the cops but it’s wasn’t working. They just kept coming and coming. You heard a loud gush of wind, looking up there you saw it. A helicopter. 

“Well I’ll be damned. We’ve really done it now, huh?” You looked to Bryan who cut his eyes to you. 

“Just watch yourself. They’ll take off your head in a heartbeat.”

“Yeah yeah, I got this. How about we up the ante?”

He raised an eyebrow as you continued, “If I can shoot down this helicopter, you have to let me top you.”

“In your dreams.”

“You’re no fun. Besides I’d be a really hot dom if you’d let me,” You flirted, before aiming up at the pilot.

“STOP THE CAR! NOW!” A voice came from the helicopter. 

“I don’t think so,” You smirked, locking on the target, pulling the trigger. With a couple of seconds the helicopter came raining down on the side of the road. 

Bryan laughed, “You know, maybe I’ll think about letting you top.”

“YAY!”

Looking in his side mirror, he saw the cops kept coming and coming. He saw a cave to his left. He gripped on tight to the wheel, “Let’s play on the edge of death.”

“More than we are right now?”

He nodded, “Let’s doing something crazy.”

“I’m in. You know I’m stuck with you till the very end.”

He cut a hard left driving onto dirt and heading toward the cave. You looked to him in confusion, “What are you planning?”

“Just grab the money and when I tell you to jump, jump, okay?”

“Got it.”

The cops were getting closer, that’s when the shots sounded. You felt a pain in your shoulder. You closed your eyes tightly, putting your hand on your shoulder, feeling a liquid. You opened your eyes, bringing your hand to your eyes, “Those fuckers shot me!”

Bryan drove deep into the cave, you grabbed the money getting prepared to jump. He unlocked the doors, “When I say jump, you have to jump and roll as far as you can, okay?”

You nodded.

“One...two...three. JUMP!” He screamed. The two of you jumped out of the car and rolled, rolling as far as you could. The car went down a hill, crashing into a deep hole. Finally, you stopped rolling and hide deeper into the cave holding your shoulder in pain.

You heard the sirens leave the cave, believing the two of you had fallen into the hole with the car which was now aflame. 

There was a long silence in the cave. You let out a tired sigh, it was finally over. You looked down at the money you were holding, smirking.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, you jumped slightly, turning around to punch the owner of the hand.

“Y/n! It’s me!”

“Bryan? Oh shit, I’m sorry. I thought you were a cop or something.” You apologized. 

“When I said you could top me I didn’t mean it like this.”

[solar-bean]

Helena's first mission

Her POV~

Ok so joining Libra would seem like a wild and crazy job to have, but mostly if you're apart of the action. So far, all I've done is file papers and sit around. I understand that Klaus and Steven are trying to keep me safe, but I really want to do something-anything useful. Maybe I should have told them about my fast healing ability. Then maybe I could take more risky tasks.

At least I've gotten to know Leo, Sonic and Zapp more. It would be great if Zapp stopped randomly hitting on me though. Although, seeing Chain materialize on his head when he does is hilarious. I've been meaning to talk to her more, but she always vanishes before I can.

-----

I put a blanket over Leo as he slept on the couch. Poor boy got kicked out of his apartment as if being in the hospital not too long ago wasn't bad enough. Then Zapp comes in covered in blood and I know that the day's madness has officially started.

I remained in the office and read as everyone went their separate ways for the mission at hand. Then Klaus came back in, went to his computer, made a call then headed towards the door. But before he left, he paused to turn towards me.

" Ms. Lightsongale?"

I put down my book.

" Yes?"

" Would you mind accompanying me to the alter world?"

I gaped.

" The alter world?" I hadn't gone there for the same reason that I avoid most places in the city.

" Yes. I believe that I have a lead and your sixth sense could help us to avoid any dangers on our way there."

" So," I could feel myself grinning excitedly. " I can finally go into the field?"

" As long as you're certain. I understand if you don't want to."

" No no. I want to go." I quickly put on my cardigan and followed him out the door, which he held for me. I still haven't come accustomed to his gentlemanly ways, but they're appreciated all the same.

Gilbert drove us to where we'd pick up our escort to the alter world. Like literally everything else, she was not what I was expecting. After Klaus got out of the car to check on her, I soon followed to greet her.

" Oh and who's this, Klausie?"

I extended my hand to her. I also noticed that she was much taller than me. And that we were surrounded by bodies.

" I'm Helena Lightsongale. Nice to meet you."

She shook my hand firmly. Oooh she has nice nails, too.

" K.K. I look forward to getting to know you, Helena."

----

While K.K and Klaus conversed on either side of me, I stared out the window into the foggy, spiraled abyss of the alter world.

" First time here?" K.K asked.

" Yeah. . . it's really. . ."

" Trippy? I know right. You'll get use to it after awhile."

" Do you sense anything?" Klaus asked, following my gaze.

" Oh I'm sensing a lot, but nothing close. We should be fine."

" Is that your power?" K.K turned to me, intrigued.

" Well, yeah." I fidgeted nervously and she seemed to notice. From seeing what she did to those guys, I'd be screwed if she caught onto my lie. Thankfully, she let it slide.

We arrived at our destination with company. Apparently it was some politician guy, Ulchenko. Already don't like him or the vibes he's giving. Inside was a slew of strange art that seemed to follow our every move. I stuck close to Klaus unconsciously, making K.K giggle.

We were then greeted by Don Arlele-something. His vibes were far worse than Ulchenko's. Even so Klaus seemed to know him so maybe he wasn't all bad. I knew that I was wrong once Klaus' worry was shown for Ulchenko when he went into the portal. He tried to warn him but the arrogant bastard wouldn't listen.

Before I knew it, Ulchenko came flying out of the portal in a sweating heap. I warned Klaus that Don was about to do something to him and Klaus leapt in to save him. I just wish that it didn't have to cost him so much.

" Klaus wait!"

He turned to me before going up the stairs.

" You can't do this. There's no way that you can survive 99 hours with that creep."

" Please have faith in me, Ms. Lightsongale. I'll be fine." he proceeded up the stairs.

" But-" K.K put her hand on my shoulder and pulled me back. I could tell that she was trying to assure me but her face showed an equal amount of concern.

After what felt like hours, I began pacing back and forth.

" Ugh. Why is he still in there? I know that time works differently, but this is becoming worrisome. What if he's trying to kill him? What if he already has?!"

" Hey. Hey now calm down." K.K stilled me and spoke softly like a mother would. Wait is she a mom? " I'm worried too, but I know Klaus. He's the toughest person I know. He'll pull threw I promise."

I took a deep breath ad sighed.

" Yeah. Yeah you're right. He'll be ok. But still...." I glared across the room at Ulchenko. He caught my gaze and flinched in fear.

" You know that you owe him. Right, Ulchenko?" my voice deepened in malice. I even made my eyes flick gold for a split second, scaring him more.

" Y-yes of course." he stuttered.

K.K giggled at him and grinned at me.

" See. He's got us, so he'll be fine no matter what happens."

-----

I caught Klaus just before he hit the floor. I don't remember charging to catch him, just sitting on the floor with his head on my lap. His skin was pale and drenched in sweat. He was hardly breathing. I couldn't speak or even move until K.K shook me and told me to help her get Klaus out of here. I did the best that I could by holding up his waist. On our way out, I caught Ulchenko's eye again. He stared back, still in disbelief before nodding to me.

In the car, K.K ended her call and sniffled while looking down at Klaus. His was fast asleep, but his breathing hadn't gotten any better. I reached for K.K's hand, that laid on Klaus' chest, from the front seat. She looked up at me with her eyes still filled with tears. Mine were too but I managed a smile.

" He's the toughest person you know, right?"

She wiped her eyes then put her other hand over mine.

" Yes. Yes he is." she smiled back.

I sat back in my seat and stared out the window. The scenery did nothing for me at the moment. I focused on Klaus' heart rate with my super hearing. It was still sped up.

I began to hum my father's lullaby, Gilbert and K.K didn't seem to mind. Klaus' heart rate was back to normal as I finished, along with his breathing.

-----

" What do you mean he's back at work?!" I asked Steven.

" He seemed alright to me. That and I can't remember the last time he took a sick day." Steven shrugged.

" That's the boss for you. Down one minute then fine the next." said Chain appearing out of nowhere. She would have scared me if I hadn't come accustomed to sensing her when she was about to materialize.

" Do you know where he is now?"

I went to the roof and found Klaus sitting on the edge, typing away on his laptop. From what I could sense he did seem fine.

" Ah, Ms.Lightsongale, it's good to see you." he said, knowing that I was there even before I had reached him.

" You too. Although, I thought that you'd be resting at home right now."

" A good night's rest is all I needed. But I do apologize for scaring you like that."

" It's ok. I'm just glad that you feel better." I gave him a small smile. I couldn't quite tell if he smiled back.

" I should thank you for yesterday as well."

I blinked at him.

" For what? I didn't do anything."

He shook his head.

" According to K.K, you caught me and practically carried me to the car. In fact, she said that you did so with little effort."

Oh no.

I felt myself begin to panic and find an excuse.

" W-well. U-uh you see-"

" There's no need to explain yourself. I know that I'm not the lightest person, meaning that you have some sort of super strength. With that, plus your sixth sense, you should be able to handle more missions if you want."

My tension lessened. I stared wide-eyed at him.

" Really?"

He nodded.

" Oh. Cool. I'd love to help out more."

" You already have Ms.Lightsongale."

That warmed my heart a little. I guess the small things were still helping in a way. But there was still something I needed to address.

" You know, to be fair since I call you by your first name, you can call me by mine. That and I'm pretty sure that you're older than me soooo..."

If it weren't for my advanced hearing I wouldn't have heard him chuckle.

" As you wish, Helena."

My heart pounded and I tensed.

Oh God what have I done???!!!

[katybeth23]

Vacations

[snsmissionaries]

6/26/18 -- Elder Braden Cowden

Another Day, Another Doug

Hola Everyone! I wrote most of this email out ahead of time so that I do not waste time thinking. So come on everybody, here we gooooo..... ( Peter Pan)

So to start out with all the things I MISSED in last weeks email because I knew I would, and I did. So these past couple weeks I have gotten quite a bit of nicknames, such as Coyote which is from the sister missionary, Hermana Binghley, that we met at the airport and we talked with her mom and family. She thought I said Coyote instead of Cowden. Another one is Vacaden, which is from the other Hermanas in my district who thought it would be funny to change Cow to Vaca which is cow in spanish! And one of my most favorites is Star Lord! Yes, you read correctly! This is because people said that I reminded them of Chris Pratt and I was one day jammin to some old school music by myself and they told me that I am just a missionary version of him haha. Which I do not mind at all! I was going to bring up Captain America but then I thought, Nah It is okay you can be Star Lord here and Captain America at home. Plus i did not want to sound TOO self conceited haha. It is very different having your first name be Elder all the time and whenever you say or hear your first name, it just sounds weird! Plus all I feel like I am missing is a loud thunderous voice saying COWDEN from behind! (Shoutout to Troy)

  Also at the airport, I forgot to take my shoes off at security. Apparently nobody noticed or cared so that was a little tender mercy, but interesting. I received a very kind and special package from my family that had cookies, chocolate milk powder, and peanut butter and jelly (i get the reason for those haha) anyways I decided to share the cookies with my district, teachers, branch presidency, and the new Latin Districts! Just so you guys know, I will not be upset if I received more haha! One day our window to our room was left open and it happened to rain, so a lot of the papers that I had brought got wet. That was not fun! I laid them out to dry though so they are not completely ruined. It has rained here A LOT! like this is a whole new level of rain that I have seen.

I almost had to get vaccinations while I was here until we found out that yellow fever is not needed for for Argentina. I was SO relieved! I would have been a little upset because I specifically do not remember seeing yellow fever anywhere in my missionary packet! It was a close one...

  OH! So last P Day I got to attend the Mexico City temple! It is the largest temple outside of the U.S. and it is one in five temples who have Moroni holding the plates as well. The visitors center was really interesting and amazing but also very different from the others I have been to. The buildings behind the temple used to be the old MTC in Mexico until they moved it to the old high school location in 2013. Fun Fact for ya, one of the counselors in my branch presidency attended the high school back when it was a high school! And to answer a lot of peoples questions, that has been the only time I have left the MTC grounds and went into Mexico. However, I was on a bus. So technically I never set foot in Mexico, yet. It is interesting to think that for the past month, I have not stood on unholy ground! It was here, bus, Temple grounds, back on the bus, back to the MTC. But I absolutely loved seeing Mexico as I drove by. I saw lots of familiar things, such as Sears, Home Depot, and even Chilis! But i also saw some interesting things, like sculptures of golden body builders wearing a speedo soooo....

The endowment session was all in spanish so I had to be the person who wore those headphones to be able to understand everything! It was a very spiritual experience to see that although it was the same ordinance, it was different in its own unique way, which I liked and am thankful for. My spanish was rough, but I was able to do it! I got lots of pictures however I do not know how to use these computers to put pictures in them and I rather not waste time right now but I promise when I can and am able to, I will. But it may not be until Argentina but THEY ARE COMING!!!

Now for this past week! When I look back on it i can see that it went by pretty quickly. Nothing too exciting happened really except for this past Tuesday Devotional. We had a general authority seventy come and speak to us and it was such an amazing experience! Although in Spanish, and had to have a translator to make it easier so he didnt have to worry about speaking both languages, the words touched my heart for sure. I cant exactly remember his name at this moment, but I wrote it down so I have it! He is the are authority over Mexico I think. He went over the sacredness and magnificence of our mission call and the process of being assigned. One of the apostles go into a room accompanied by at least one other person and there are two big screens. One has all the information about the missionary and the other has all the missions of the world. The rest is just revelation... And i have heard stories about how apostles, even Elder Rendlund, who had gone back to a certain missionary 2 or 3 times because they just had a sickening feeling about it even after they were like 10 names passed! That right there is a testimony of revelation from God and how God calls all of us to a certain area because that is where we need to be. He also read through the mission call letter and pretty much roasted us for those who did not read the letter all the way through. But it is okay, I totally did haha!

Anyways the rest of my week was just classes and more spanish. My spanish is becoming a lot better and my district is having an English Fast until Monday. So I will see how that turns out! But i really want that gift of tongues, So I am willing to do whatever it takes!

We had a couple classes on Family History and Self Reliance and how we can now use those as tools and ways to help others we come into contact with. It is like a new initiative the church is starting as of April or something like that. IDK, I just do as I am told haha

Every week i am going to do LAYLAS WORDS CORNER!

  {For those of you who may not know, Layla is Braden’s much adored 5 year old cousin.  These are the words she asked him to translate into Spanish for her.}

Pink ~ Rosado

20 ~ Veinte

100  ~ Cien

Sun ~ Sol

Love ~ Amor

Heart ~ Corazon

I miss you guys and I can not wait to hear more from you guys! I love you!  Whenever I get sad or down, all i say to myself is that..... I Can Do This All Day

   Elder Cowden

 P.S. my Maestros say HI!!! (Teachers(