#though he does look a little too young/not tired enough for my liking
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bilberry-jam · 6 months ago
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A little fine liner Geralt in my smallest sketchbook :)
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17020 · 2 months ago
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TU CORAZÓN ES MÍO — ORQUÍDEAS X WINBRE.
There is absolutely no one like him. All you hear is that young love is nothing more than miserable. With him, though, it's the complete opposite. He is your present and future, going through thick and thin together. Your heart is his, and his heart is yours.
STARRING . . . Ren Kaji, Jo Togame, Toma Hiragi. fem! reader
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DICEN QUE EL AMOR EN SU JUVENTUD
SOLO TERMINA EN DOLOR... featuring REN KAJI
Ren Kaji was tired of hearing the same bullshit that came from every old fart's mouth. That young love isn't meant to last, not one bit. Every second spent together will eventually crumble, and it's best to go your separate ways before life itself sets you apart. Right?
Hell fucking no. Ren Kaji was sure that they must have had shitty, unhappy lives, because there was no way he could imagine life without you.
Sure, things were not always a bed of roses. Kaji knew that he wasn't exactly the best type of person to deal with, so he knew that it could take a bit for him to get used to things. And truth be told, he was glad you were patient.
Relationships weren't his strong suit—hell, you were his first one. His inexperience and his temper made it a wild ride, but you were willing to welcome him with open, loving arms. Your embrace made him forget about everything else: no person, comment, or action could come between the two of you. You were inseparable.
His first date, first kiss, first time, you were present in all. The more Kaji spent his days with you, the more he realized how many idiots he had heard say that this wouldn't last. He was determined to prove them wrong.
And he knew that he was being hasty, the way the velvety box slipped from his fingers many times was enough for the world to know that for the first time, Ren Kaji was anxious.
Fresh out of high school, he bolted through the busy streets. His destination? Your home.
Because after a nasty fight, he knew he had to make things right. He couldn't afford to lose you—not now, not ever.
When you heard a knock on your door, what you saw left you speechless. Your boyfriend was absolutely disheveled, with his hair all over his face, his eyes brimming with tears, and an open velvety box in his hand, revealing a thin band with your birthstone.
"I don't give one shit that we're young, but I want you to know that my heart is yours. This ring's all I have for now. Yn, marry me."
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WHAT DO THEY KNOW?
THEY'RE MISERABLE, BROKEN, AND ALONE... featuring JO TOGAME
It had to be kept a secret. For both your sakes.
Because if the townspeople were to know that Bofurin's most beloved princess was involved with Shishitoren's second in command, frankly, a war was to take place.
It wasn't as if Togame was a complete asshole, but first impressions were always of upmost importance. And Jo Togame had screwed up by being a douche to Bofurin and falling for someone in enemy territory.
He was running out of excuses.
From having to run errands, being too tired and having to head home early, or even having to go to the bathroom and mysteriously spend hours looking for one, Togame always had a little lie up his sleeve in order to sneak out. It got difficult with time as Choji offered to accompany him in his errands, and Sako questioned him on why his lips were swollen, a red tint smeared across them.
"So, who's the lucky gal?"
"Dunno what you're talking about, I drank beet juice, that's all."
"Does beet juice leave your hair messy and give you hives on your neck?"
Togame chuckled as he raised his hands to his head, patting down his hair in an attempt to fix it. "Don't push it. I'll bring her over when I'm ready."
Sako stared at Togame with wide eyes, seemingly unable to process that he had indeed accurately guessed Togame's secret activities. "It's that serious?" he asked, with his raven haired friend humming in return.
"Best thing to ever happen to me. Keep it on the low, will ya? Don't want this spilling out."
Togame’s secret was well kept until a few weeks later, when he found himself inside a popular restaurant which was the borderline between Bofurin and Shishitoren territory.
And technically, he tried his best to be discreet. The restaurant’s popularity had skyrocketed overnight, which essentially meant he was to be more wary. A cap was on his head, with some dark aviator shades covering his eyes. All that hard work for nothing, as his infamous jacket was still draped over his shoulders.
The ‘disguise’ was worth it, though, as a smile grew on your face from how ridiculous he looked. It was a sign that Jo Togame was willing to go above and beyond in order to make you happy, and you were sure to keep that in mind.
“Jo, aren’t those your friends?”
The look on his face was indescribable. He whooshed his hand in the air in an attempt to call a waiter and ask for a check, and ended up drawing more attention to him.
And there they were, Choji Tomiyama and Kota Sako, making a beeline towards his table, wide eyes and shit eating grins plastered on their faces. Choji was the first to speak up, his hand patting the cap on his friend’s head. “What’s with the look, Kame-chan?”
"Is this the girl you told us about? Wait—isn't she—"
"She is" he sighed, "which is why I wanted things to be lowkey."
Sako looked distressed, his hands stuffed inside his pockets. "Do you know what'll be of us if Bofurin was to find out about this?"
Togame simply smiled in return, intertwining his fingers with yours.
"If Bofurin finds out and has a problem, it means they're miserable, broken, and alone. I love Yn, and I'd to through hell and five steps beyond for her."
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A ESTAS CALLES NO VOY A REGRESAR PA NADA
TENGO ALGUIEN QUE ME AMA... featuring TOMA HIRAGI
No matter how many men you met and dated, you never seemed to find yourself comfortable with them. From them being too little or too much, you thought you'd never find the perfect match.
And your best friend Toma Hiragi had the pleasure to hear all about it.
"I mean, the date was horrible!" you exclaimed, running your fingers through your hair. "He spent the whole date on his phone talking to his friends, and when it was time to pay, he expected me to do so! I got so angry I stood up and left him on the spot. Even the waitress supported me!"
Toma sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "And ya went on this blind date because...?"
"Because I want someone who can treat me right, Toma, and so far I've found nothing but assholes."
He loved the way his name rolled so smoothly off your tongue. You were his closest friend, the one he went to for everything. Hearing about your love life mishaps was enough for him to stuff his whole stomach with pills.
"Oh, for fuck's sake..."
"What?"
"Ya know what? Friday. 7pm. Dress nice."
"Why—what for?" you asked, to which Hiragi just facepalmed. "You complain so damn much about assholes, figured I'll just take ya to dinner instead. So, dress nice, and don't make me wait."
As soon as you heard those words, you knew your life was about to change. Because Hiragi doesn't do things for anybody, so for him to ask you to dinner was huge.
It wasn't a one time thing. Each week, you found yourself in various food places and arcades with Hiragi, with his excuse being that 'this was a way for you to shut your trap.' And it worked?
There were no more blind dates, or random hookups. Just Hiragi taking up more and more of your time every day. You couldn't lie to yourself, it felt like heaven.
"Toma, why do you keep taking me places? I don't want you to do it if it's out of pity, y'know. Save your cash."
He shook his head in response, "Save it? I've been waitin' for this since forever ago, ya think I'm gonna waste my chance?"
"What do you mean?"
"My heart's always belonged to ya, stupid. It's about damn time ya know."
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taglist (open, yippee!): @stunie @kaiser1ns @nyxypoo @karasuglazer @littleplantfreak @maruflix @heartkaji
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miss-oranje-disco-dancer · 2 months ago
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good guys, bad deeds
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pairing: javi p x f!reader
cws/tags: ONLY ONE BED, javi is reader's dad's best friend, minimal physical description (reader has pussy and boobs and wears a tank top and panties), p in v (unprotected bc ... i'm sorry), oral f! receiving, accidentally cumming inside, author does not speak spanish but wishes she did and researched spanish dirty talk but still knows v little, periodic pov switch
summary: reader comes to visit javi in colombia and he only has one bed, so they decide to sleep in it together and shenanigans ensue. it's wrong but it feels so right...
a/n: for the roll a trope challenge! @burntheedges
wc: 3.9k
taglist:
@gothcsz @onlyasimp4-2dbitches @harriedandharassed @withonly-sweetheart
join my taglist
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Half the time Javi smokes inside out of stubbornness – he can still hear the voices of ex-girlfriends back in Texas telling him off for it. He has what he intends to be his last cigarette of the day outside because his apartment has begun to make him stir-crazy. With Escobar "behind bars", there's a brief lull in the DEA office. He's become so used to chaos that he thrives off it now.
A taxi pulls up and a young woman steps out - for better or worse, Javi knows a lot of the women who spend their nights on the streets of Bogota and Medellin. This woman is unfamiliar, though the look in her eyes suggests she knows him. He sifts through strings of drunken memories, but can't place her.
Until he hears her voice. "Uncle Javi!" she says, flying into his arms which are not yet open to catch her. He's a DEA agent, a young woman should not be strong enough to knock the wind out of him but you get pretty damn close.
He'd completely forgotten you were coming – but, even if he'd remembered, he wouldn't have recognized you. God, how long has he been away?
You look older. That's what he tells you later, trying to put it as matter-of-factly as possible, trying to sound neutral and indifferent to the fact that a beautiful woman is standing at his doorstep like a baby in a basket, helpless in a foreign world, brought by cab rather than stork.
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Javi carts your luggage up the stairs and little does he know that you're practically salivating over the sight of his broad shoulders, his strong arms that could just pick you up and throw you onto the bed–
"Are you planning to stand there all night?" Javi's voice snaps you out of your daydreams.
"Yeah, yeah, of course. I'm so tired, I'm practically falling asleep standing up."
Jet lag can do a number on anyone, but it doesn't help that the flight attendants were happy to provide you with alcohol. You try to act sober, but Javi's a cop, he's trained to call your bluff.
You stumble through the doorstep and you hear him stifle a laugh. "Are you okay? You look drunk."
"I'm not drunk. I had a few drinks on the plane, but I sobered up at the airport while I was waiting for you to come get me."
You watch guilt wash over him, and you almost take back your statement, but you don't. It's a rare opportunity to see Javi flustered, and even if it's not for the ideal reason (in your dirty mind), you'll take it as consolation for his forgetfulness.
"I'm so sorry. I've been so wrapped up in everything here that I completely forgot you were coming."
You shrug it off, not committing to accepting his apology but not wanting to prolong his suffering either. God forbid a man has to take accountability for his actions.
He follows your gaze which travels across the living room, through the kitchen, as far as your eye can see from the entrance where you stand. "I would've tidied up if I'd known I was having a guest."
"I honestly expected worse."
"You think I'm a slob?"
"No, you're a man – a single man – and the apartment of a bachelor is never a clean one."
"Who says I'm single?"
"Your ring finger."
"Maybe I have a fiancée."
"If you did, I don't think you'd be so defensive."
"I like being single."
"I like being single too."
He moves swiftly away from the relationship status conversation. "Unfortunately, I don't have a guest room, so you'll have to sleep on the couch if that's okay…"
"You're making your guest sleep on the couch?"
"Oh, I assumed you'd be more mature."
"I am mature. That's why I'm asking politely and not throwing a tantrum."
"Fine, mija. I give up. We're both too tired to argue."
"We can take turns, so you can have your bed tomorrow."
Taking turns means Javi shares the bed with you.
He strips himself of his shirt and you struggle to keep your composure. You have a better view of his broad chest and big arms with him shirtless and you can see the trail of hair from his belly button leading down to the waistband of his sweatpants, and god, how you want to find the end of it. A happy trail, they call it, but what it makes you feel is something different than happiness, something impure.
"What?" He catches you staring. "It's hot as fuck in here, and it's my room. I sleep shirtless. Take it or leave it."
Take it. You want him to say it to you in a different context.
"Whatever. You better not try anything funny."
"What is that supposed to mean? Do you really think I'm that type of guy?" He seems genuinely offended that you think of him that way.
And, in truth, you doubt he's like that, which is why your fantasies about him 'trying something funny' are a bit unrealistic, but you let them run wild regardless.
"Chill," you say, "I'm kidding."
The truth is that you'd be perfectly fine with any funny business Javi would be willing to offer you. But it's late and it's your first night as a guest in his apartment, so you decide not to try to provoke him.
You fall asleep soon after you tuck yourself in beside him.
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It's been quite some time since Javi has been forced to share a bed with someone. Outside of women who stay over - and women rarely stay after the act is finished — he sleeps alone. You don't snore or drool on him which was a positive as he's been with women who did both of those things. He's known sleep talkers and sleep walkers — Lorraine was the former. It isn't until the middle of the night when he's awoken by your stirring that he realizes how cumbersome it will be to sleep next to you. It's a queen-sized bed, which should fit two, especially when one of those two is a young woman. So, why are you practically on top of him? You've managed to roll over, sprawl out, and curl back up to restart the process. You always end up further on Javi's side, so he continues to inch away until he is forced to be up against you lest he fall off the bed and onto the floor.
He tries to sleep as best he can, and prays for the sun — something he's never done before. Javi is hardly a morning person. But, he wakes up again before his alarm sounds. There is one glaring issue, he finds.
It's not his fault that your ass is up against his crotch and that every movement you make inadvertently teases him. It's so unfair that you make him this hard when he can't jerk off. He can't because you're here. Doubly unfair since you did this to him. It's not your fault that you're pretty — too pretty for your own good, whether Javi ends up giving into the primal needs inside him or you end up with another man. Thinking about that gets him harder - not because he likes to think about you with another man, in fact, he hates it, but jealous fuels the fire inside him. If he let his possessive feelings towards you overcome his rationale, he could fuck you the way you deserve, and he's sure you'd enjoy it. You need it, whether you know it or not.
Or, maybe it's just projection, maybe hope. Pretty women make him weak. God forbid you find out and use it against him. Javi's the type to risk it all - money, career, even his life. Not just for pussy - because it's not about that anyway, it never has been. Pussy is easy to come by - in fact, if he gathers enough saliva in his palm and closes his eyes he can almost replicate the feeling by himself. But being with a woman, all soft skin, strangled moans of his name, nails piercing his skin, needy kisses, teeth, tongue, and heartbeat - he hasn't been able to fully satiate that need ever, and he doesn't remember a time before he was a tenderhearted soul in a soldier's body.
Javi could get himself off, it wouldn't take long, but the shower is in the en-suite so he'd wake you up if he turned on the water. Plus, it'd feel wrong having you in the next room while he did such a thing even if he tried not to think about you while he did it, even if you slept in blissful ignorance, pure and untainted by the knowledge of Javi's teeth digging into his fist to muffle a moan as he shudders through his orgasm.
He wasn't thinking about you until your body was pressed up against his own. He doesn't think of you like that, or at last, he didn't. Not before you came to Bogota, appeared in front of him so grown up that he hadn't recognized you at first. You were a girl the last time you stood in front of him, he remembers having to kneel to hug you when he said goodbye. Time has passed and you're fresh out of college now. A woman, not a girl.
He's somewhere between thinking and dreaming when you spring up in bed with a gasp, and on instinct, his hand flies to the bedside table to search blindly for his gun. Until he realizes it's just you. A harmless girl.
Maybe not completely harmless.
He places his hand to his bare chest as he breathes slowly, trying to calm down.
You look like you're on the verge of tears and it pains him. "I'm so sorry, Uncle Javi."
"Mija, don't worry," he says, rubbing your back to calm you, "You just startled me."
"I just had a bad dream," you tell him.
You used to have those when you were younger, he thinks, now I have them too.
"It was just a dream, you're safe." He lies down and nods for you to lie back down too. "I'll keep you safe," he says quieter.
You move closer, facing him, and he lets you because he knows you need comfort more than anything. Javi resists the urge to hold you, worrying you might feel his hard—on through his sweatpants.
He stares - no, gazes - at you for a moment, unsure of what to say. You meet his eyes with a similar look - inquisitive, though you're more curious than he is. Javi feels dread in the face of what he fears is unfolding. You see an opportunity where he sees a warning. Do not go any further, it says. But he hasn't done anything.
Except for lie down next to you rather than taking the couch, and sleep shirtless rather than sweat through a t-shirt. He's more angry at himself for his reluctance to admit that this is a self-indulgent choice no matter how he flips it. Either he's a bad host or he's a bad man.
The answer becomes clearer when you lean in and he closes his eyes instead of pulling back like he should. He doesn't want to embarrass you, he decides. Better not reject you, at least not like this, he should let you down easy. Which he'll certainly do after kissing you.
It's so unfair, Javi thinks. He'd forgotten what it feels like to kiss someone who wants him. Women want his money, at best, his body. Often, both. But Javi is the type of man who wakes up at sunrise so he can slip out before he has to man up and have an awkward conversation over coffee.
Cupping your cheek gently is certainly wrong but so is kissing you, and he's already doing that. He should kiss you sweetly, make this a little more dignified, salvage what's left.
Your lips are soft and it's not your first kiss unless this is an incredible stroke of beginner's luck. Hungry, yet teasing, forcing him to reveal his own desire when you draw back a bit and he has to be the one to reach for you.
He notices you drifting closer to him and before he can make things much, much worse, he snaps out of it and pulls back entirely.
"Querida, we shouldn't… It's not right," he says because he can't say he doesn't want you.
"Why? What's wrong with it? We're both adults, we're sober, we're single…"
"You're much younger than me, and your father is my friend."
"Age is just a number, and what my dad doesn't know, can't hurt him."
He scoffs and rolls his eyes, playing the whole thing off like he isn't grappling with conflicting feelings inside.
"You said you'd never lie to me, right?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Tell me the truth, then, do you want me too?"
"You can't ask questions like that, mija."
"Why, Uncle Javi?"
"That's why. I cannot sleep with someone who calls me 'Uncle Javi'."
"It's not like we're actually related."
"I know that. This wouldn't even be up for discussion if that were the case."
"So it's up for discussion?"
"No. No, it's not. We're not doing it."
He stands up abruptly, does a terrible job of adjusting himself in his sweatpants, and walks towards the bathroom.
"Where are you going?"
"Taking a shower."
"It's past midnight."
"Can a man not take a shower at night?"
"At least be honest and say you're going to jerk off."
"Jesus Christ," he mutters, putting his head in his hands. Then, he turns to you, "I'm going to jerk off. Happy?"
"Can I come with?"
"No. If I wanted you to be with me, I'd just do it in bed."
You pout, disappointed, and he thinks that's your last resort. He nearly lets his guard down as his hand reaches the bathroom door, reaches safety.
But, in a voice that's so familiar yet so foreign coming from your mouth, you ask, "You usually do it right here?"
He stares at you, his body slumps a bit like he's melting as he watches you play with the straps of your top, like you might take it off.
"Javier," you say, seductively.
"Don't do that to me…" he pouts, pleads. He doesn't want to give in.
"I just think we could have a really good time. I mean, I bought these panties for you, but I guess if you don't want to see them, maybe I can find another DEA agent who wants to…"
"I'm not letting you go and whore yourself out to my coworkers."
"Why not? You don't want me."
"I didn't say that. I said 'it's wrong', and it is."
"I guess I can see how it might be wrong from some angles, but I really like you, and I just want to know that you like me back — I just want to be wanted, to know someone thinks I'm good enough."
It's so unfair. Javi has to assume you're acting, but you're doing a great job because your teary eyes are filled with emotion — maybe it is real, he thinks. And that's what lands him back in bed with you.
"I like you," he whispers, "and you know that. I think a lot of guys like you… they don't deserve you, but trust me when I say you're more than wanted."
"I don't want any of them. I only want you." You look up at him with those pleading eyes that have always worked.
"I'm not a good man." he sighs.
"I want you anyway."
"I'm not a good man because I can't help myself."
You look at him with hope shining through you.
"Before we do anything I need you to know that I love you to death but this is sex, not marriage, not a relationship - I want to make you feel good tonight, but tomorrow we go back to normal, got it?"
"You act like you're taking my virginity. I'm not that innocent little girl anymore. I'm not expecting you to fall in love with me, I just want you to fuck me."
He has the knee-jerk instinct to tell you not to swear. but the scowl of disapproval quickly turns to a smile. You're not that innocent, are you?
You grab his face and whisper, "If I'm going to have casual sex anyway, isn't it better if I do it with you?"
"Oh, so now this is all 'casual sex', and I'm just doing damage control by fucking you?"
"My dad asked you to keep me safe, right? If I'm bed with you, I can't get in bed with any other potentially dangerous men."
"I'm always gonna take care of you." he says, dipping down to kiss your neck.
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"Javier." It's a drawn-out plea for something, anything. It's the simultaneous gratitude brought about by the relief that washes over you when he agrees to this but the carnal frustration at the anticipation of him, heightened when you feel his erection pressing against your thigh.
You can tell he's big - though, the tightness of his pants leaves little to the imagination regardless. Nervousness strikes you because he's Javi. He thinks you don't know how much of a womanizer he is. As if you've ever been stupid enough to believe the marks on his neck were just razor burn or that he had no idea where the pair of panties in his glove compartment came from.
You don't dare ask how many women he's slept with, you don't need to know the number to know you have a laundry list of competition. You won't be his best - that much you know - still, you can't be his worst.
All your worries move to the background when you remember that Javier is kissing you, tugging down the straps of your top, kissing your neck, your collarbone, your chest. Your heart swells at his gentle devotion, but your core aches for him as your much dirtier fantasies flit around your mind.
You would never have guessed Javier would be into this type of sweet and slow sex. Most men you've been with want you in a way that feels more perverse, more distant.
Javi lets his hands wander along your skin, he teases you and marvels at your reaction. He doesn't just grip you, he holds you.
You shouldn't be as surprised as you are when he grabs your ankles and pulls you to the edge of the bed before kneeling with his head positioned between your thighs.
"You said you wore these for me?" he asks, fingers toying with the waistband of your underwear.
"Yeah. I remember finding a similar pair in your car once, and so I thought you might like these."
"You'd look good in anything, but you did a good job picking these out. Definitely my taste."
"You can keep them."
His eyes flicker with something, something you've been dying to see. "What are you going to wear?"
"I have more, like, ever color."
"They're all for me or just these ones?"
"All for you." The statement holds greater weight than the thin lace fabric, and surely he knows that.
There is desire in his eyes when he flicks his tongue along your folds for the first time.
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Javi decides that if he's going to indulge, he shouldn't indulge half-heartedly. He should not be doing this, but you deserve to feel good. Someone else should do this for you, but no one else is here. It's Javi's responsibility to take care of you. He's just helping you sleep, that's what he tells himself when he gets a taste of you and knows he's so incredibly and utterly fucked. He groans into you, and you return a prettier sound.
He's too old to be this hard, this hungry for a woman. The most unfair part of it all is that Javi doesn't need sex, he doesn't need the touch of a woman. He needs you. Forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest.
Your voice shakes when you say his name, warning him of your impending orgasm. He massages your hipbones as if to say, "you're going to be okay, just let go". You look embarrassed when you come down from your high so he makes a point of staying between your legs, locking eyes while his tongue gathers every drop you give him, and smiling when he wipes his lips with his thumb.
The predicament lies between his own legs. The question still stands stiff and painfully hard. Should he allow himself the pleasure of fucking up? Of fucking.
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You notice his hesitation. "Javier, I want it too, you know?"
"It's still a mistake."
"Everyone makes mistakes… maybe you could just allow yourself to make one - for me."
Making one mistake surely isn't enough to make you a bad person.
"Don't you ever get tired of being the good guy?"
He smirks at you. "Yes. Yes, I do."
Patience is a virtue, and not one you have.
"I'll do it for you," you say, tugging down his sweatpants, watching his cock spring out.
"Puta madre," he says, as you stroke his length, running your finger over the tip, kissing it with the pad of your thumb, "if you keep touching me like that I'm not gonna last."
Javi stifles his curses in English, ultimately ending up settling for Spanish at the rare moments he can find words at all. Clearly he forgets that you speak enough Spanish to understand what he's saying, but you let him think you don't because the things he says are even sexier than what he says in your daydreams.
He drags the head of his cock along your folds, coating himself with your wetness.
"Que cosa tan linda," he says under his breath, marveling at your body, fully naked in front of him.
"Please," you whine, and he nods, silent but committed.
"Mira como me toma," he says as he eases inside you finally.
He keeps the rhythm of his thrusts slow until you beg for him to go faster. Harder, deeper, more, more, more.
"¿Te gusta eso eh?" His voice is thick with lust, he's not even talking to you, not really, just running his mouth unable to help it.
Soon, it's nothing but curses through gritted teeth accompanied by the slick sounds of your arousal.
"Quiero que me hagas tuyo" you finally give up the game when he's about to cum.
It's not the fact that you want to be his that takes him over the edge unexpectedly, it's the way you say his name and he knows you already are. You hold onto him for dear life, locking your legs around his hips and forcing him deeper, your inner walls flutter around him, and he is helpless against the tidal wave of ecstasy that crashes over him.
He's dizzy after you suck the life out of him, but his rational mind returns when he pulls out and watches cum drip out of you.
Javi panics, momentarily considers every horrible possibility and every solution - will he have to fake his own death and leave the country? But your soothing touch as you gently pull him closer, your relaxing voice accompanying it, calms him.
He buys you the morning after pill and feeds it to you along with the best breakfast he can conjure up as an apology.
You thank him, but just before he thinks he's in the clear, you say, "if you really wanted to make it up to me, you could eat your breakfast in bed…"
He's about to say 'no', but you wink, and instead, he says, "Fine. But just this once."
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spanish translations:
Que cosa tan linda = what a pretty thing
Mira como me toma = look at how well it takes me
¿Te gusta eso eh? = you like that eh?
Quiero que me hagas tuyo = i want you to make me yours
this post helped me lots!!
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chosos-mascara · 4 months ago
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all my love, suguru
chapter 4
summary: after an unexpected night spent with your close friend, you find yourself pregnant, and unable to tell him so. will you be able to come to terms with this news, or will it destroy the delicate relationship you’d had left?
chapter warnings: mentions of declining mental health (suguru), general angst, secret pregnancy/child
masterlist
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A brown head of hair follows you from your car to the apartment. It's an uncomfortable journey knowing you're back in Tokyo again, so close to a life that feels so distant from you now.
There are many boxes to unpack, and when accompanied by a young child, the task feels insurmountable. To credit her, she does make an attempt to help, picking out a few toys from one of the containers with a smile, though just as quickly becomes distracted by the prospect of actually playing with them. This does make things easier for a short while; you're able to unpack some dinnerware into empty shelves, folding down just one cardboard box before she's back at your side. "Mama!" She toddles to you with tears brimmed at her lash line, a doll in one hand, it's arm in the other. "Help, please."
You offer a soft smile, crouching and accepting the broken toy. It's easy to slot the arm back into place with some jostling (a manuvre you've learned from experience with this particular toy), and she's smiling once more, a shriek of excitement when the doll is returned to her in one piece.
Her expression lightens your mood, how beautifully she wears her emotions. There's so much innocence to children you hadn't expected before meeting her, so much joy. Her brown eyes are locked onto her barbie as she babbles, some nonsense, though some actual words do crop up - mummy, love, play.
You'd spent your entire pregnancy wondering what she would look like, whether she would take after you or her father, and to little surprise when she was handed to you, she was the image of Suguru. Even more so with age. Brown hair and eyes, and she has his nose too, with a calm temperament and warmth that you also accredit to him.
Being a single mother is hard, and seeing so much of him within her is bittersweet. He's the man you fell in love with, but he's also the man you had to leave. There's so much you've wanted to share with him too; her first steps, words, her first birthday. Despite this, you know even if alone you've raised her well, and she is so loved. You've brought her this far without sorcery, but now a blue flame surrounds her. She's an early bloomer in the cursed sense, and just as you'd feared, inherits her father's technique meaning she'll likely be a special grade... something you'd wished so deeply to avoid. 
There was change on the horizon, beginning only a few days ago when you'd been told to pack these very boxes, and push your daughter into a future you hadn't willed. You feel sick when recounting the memory.
"No." The sight of his face brings a burning to your throat, a sinking feeling as if a bowling ball had been forced into your chest, dropping to weigh within your stomach. Two years in hiding, to end involuntarily by no one other than Gojo Satoru. White hair draped over his forehead, blue eyes meeting your own. They look tired, aged somehow, though you can't seem to care when that weathering is accompanied by remorse, lips downturned.
"Invite me inside." His voice is quiet, low. It's late, and you're sure he's exhausted, yet he's at your door instead of his own. There's a small spark of hope that perhaps he simply needs a place to stay, though this is snuffed out when you look back to his face. He knows. "Satoru, why are you here?" Your voice trembles on the verge of tears, but he doesn't comfort you, instead remaining silent as you try to steady your breaths, eventually regulating them enough to step to one side. There's some hesitance as he walks past you.
You lead him to the livingroom, and as he trails behind his gaze wonders the painted walls of your entryway, pictures decorating an otherwise bland white. Most of which appear to star a small child from the ages of infancy to two; the same dark hair and brown eyes that he recognised within his close friend. There's dimples in each cheek when she smiles with her mother's lips.
"You had a girl." He means it to echo a question despite already knowing, though it sounds to be a statement. Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his, and you nod.
"Keiko." Usually her name on your lips brings you joy, but telling Satoru only makes your heart ache.
"Satoru, please tell me why you're here."  You swallow thickly, afraid of the news you're about to be privvy to. He offers little reprieve with his reluctance, and you expect the worse. "You have to come back, to Tokyo."
There's a numbness that begins at your throat, and slowly, like mould spore growing through a piece of fruit, you find yourself rotting before him. You're plagued with dread as you picture your daughter, only two years of age, opened up to a world you wished to shield her from. "Why would I need to do that?" You act as if you're unaware, yet you understand clearly. She's gifted, even if you hadn't wanted to give her this strength.
"She has Cursed Spirit Manipulation." When those words leave his lips, you realise you truly have lost this case. This is it, this is what she will be forced to use. Your jaw tightens as you form a response, though you're unable to begin when Satoru elaborates. "Two weeks ago, a small girl was seen chasing a grade four, and upon capturing it, the curse was ingested."
You frown. "Who reported this?" Satoru hears the panic in your voice, no matter how strong you try to be. Just like when you were teenagers, you feign confidence against him, yet in equal power, Satoru can see right through you. 
"A grade three sorcerer working within this district reported it to the higher ups. They've decided her potential is too strong to ignore."  You're staring at him wide eyed, and he feels guilt as he watches you grieve this life. Satoru wouldn't tell you how he'd practically pleaded with them to let her be a child before introducing her to the horrors of this world, because he didn't want you to know he'd failed you. 
"What if I refuse?"  "You know the answer, do I really have to spell it out to you? There is no other choice." His words imbue a hopelessness into you, and you finally give up, walking past him to take a seat on the couch. The cushions sink under you, and your hands rest upon each leg. There's one question you have left.
"Does he know?" Monotone, dead. Your tone sends a chill over Satoru's spine; he's never seen you so genuinely defeated. Even when he'd found out about your pregnancy, you held yourself together better than this. But even with all of Satoru's experience, his strength, he still couldn't empathise with that of parenthood. Megumi was the closest thing he had to that, though he understands that the relationship the pair share is nothing close to the love you would have for your own blood. 
"You left with no word as to where you'd gone. If I told him it was to have his child, what would he have done?" There's some bitterness to his words, and you cringe.   "Didn't he question the fact there's a child with his technique?" 
Satoru moves from one foot to the other, crossing his arms as he watches your meek state. You're slouched and sweating, and your eyes haven't lifted from the same patch of carpet for the past two minutes. Though with his quietness, your gaze lifts, stopping at his lips. 
"He doesn't know." 
You nod once, taking your teeth between your lips. This is worse than being lectured, you think, enduring the judgement of a person you value highly, feeling their revulsion of a decision you made long ago. "Don't you think he had a right to know before all of this?" You stay silent, your arms closing in closer to your body as if to hug yourself. "It's only right he hears it from you, before this goes any further." 
Only, you still haven't made that call, and told him the truth. You watch your daughter walk toward the school, her hand in yours, while Suguru is none the wiser. It's a secret you knew would be revealed within the next few hours, unrevealed as long as you'd been able.
Shoko's leaving the lab when you enter the halls. You don't notice her at first, instead preoccupied by the small girl beside you, though when your eyes lift from the little fingers wrapped around yours, you stop dead in your tracks. 
Not many things shock Shoko. She likes to think she's seen all, and likely knows most of what goes on even if only surface level, but when she sees you in Jujutsu High with a child clutching at your hand, she comes to a standstill, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.
 Keiko takes a few steps, her little feet tapping on the hard floors, though soon notices her mother's halted action.  "Mama, come on."
Shoko's brow raises, a sharp gasp on her lips as she pieces things together. The child looks to be around two, and not long before that you'd left - this must've been the result of that pregnancy test you'd requested long ago. And as she stares at her a little longer, taking in at the warm toned brown eyes, she realises why you'd left. This child had to be Suguru's, her features were far too akin to his to be coincidental.
She says your name, though it sounds foreign to her now. She wonders when the last time she'd called out to you was, and when you peer anxiously to her expression, she realises how you've matured, mellowed almost. There's a protectiveness she can sense, you're definitely more closed off, but that's understandable considering the fact you've been gone and likely without much social contact.
"Hi." Part of you had hoped for a better reunion, but with how things went it was only understandable that Shoko wouldn't be running to hug you anytime soon. "You’re a mother, huh?" There's little goosebumps over your skin as you swallow, nodding slowly. Of course, she'd remember your offish self asking her for tests, and she'd be able to piece things together. "What's her name?"
You knew Shoko wouldn't bring harm to you both, and if she's worked out your daughter's father, she wouldn't press you on it. "It's Keiko." You look down to your daughter, who's holding your hand a little tighter in the presence of a stranger. Funny, growing up you'd thought these people would be your children's family, yet here your baby is, backing up at the sight of a woman she'd never met.
"Keiko," Shoko crouches to her eye level. "That's a beautiful name." Shoko offers her a smile, and Keiko's hand loosens up a little, though it's still clammy on your palm. "Thanks." It's spoken quietly, and the 'th' sounds more like an 'f', but it's coherent enough.
"What are you both doing here?" Shoko's looking back to you now, standing up to meet your level once again. Mouth opening, your free hand comes to your arm to fiddle with your jacket. "The higher-ups found out about her technique." "Manipulation?" You pause. So, she's figured it out. "Yeah. They want him to show her the way, I guess." "But he doesn't know." "No, he doesn't." You offer her a half smile in hopes she would forgive you. "I was kind of hoping he'd find out before i got here, but he hasn't."
Shoko wants to tell you it's your job to tell him and that you need to face your fears, but she keeps her mouth closed in order to save your feelings. Instead, she nods quietly, arms crossed. When the air is too stale to bare any longer, you breathe it in, deciding to take you leave before you would combust on the spot. "I've got to find Yaga, we have a meeting." Your words are rushed and you almost stumble as you walk past her. 
"Who was that?" Keiko questions in her own muddled words, and you force a happy expression when meeting her gaze. "Mama's old friend, from school."
Suguru sits back in the beat up couch, bitter instant coffee still swirling as he places it on the low table. The staffroom has definitely seen better days, he was sure this furniture would've been used back when he'd attended Jujutsu High, with stains and scratches over old wood, rings from mugs of coffee much like his own. Budget cuts had meant money was syphoned into other things, much less into staff.
"A meeting, with Yaga?" He repeats Satoru's words carefully, brow creased. He watches as the brown liquid begins to settle, a few bubbles at the surface meeting in the middle. "Yeah, something about a new student." The explanation makes much less sense to Suguru, because this year he's supposed to be taking on more missions, and offering a supporting role rather than holding his own classes. "And why would that concern me?" His voice is tired, he's tired. The school is working them all into an early grave, he thinks. What was supposed to be more of a career break had somehow turned into more work than he's ever had, and he realises the only way out of this is to leave Jujutsu society for good - much like you did.
Suguru can't deny he feels responsible for your sudden leaving. As if a phone call would've fixed anything between you after he'd not only slept with you, but left you to fend for yourself afterward too. He thinks about you a lot, much to his own distaste. It's his fault you're not here, after all.
"You'll be teaching them part time." Suguru outwardly sighs, a hand flying up to massage his temples. "Of course." It was drenched in acidity, and Satoru shifts. He's still standing, muscles tense as he watches his friend stress himself further. It's been a difficult few years, and he is sure Suguru is at the end of his tether. Satoru worries that your return might just be the thing that breaks him entirely.
"What do you know, Satoru?" When he zones back into the room, glancing away from the disgustingly beige walls to peer into his friend's brown eyes, he realises he'd worn his concerns too evidently. "Not much," He lies, something he's found himself doing consistently as of recent. "She's young, though. A child." He tries to soften the blow by letting on that piece of information now, because he knows Suguru will be disgusted to find out they're having him begin training with a child who cannot yet read, let alone understand what a curse is.
"How young?" Suguru's intuition tells him that something is awry here, but he can't place his finger on what exactly it is. Satoru is definitely withholding something important, and he understands that he's not going to find out what until he's in Yaga's office. "Fine, don't tell me."
With a sigh, he pushes himself up from the couch, all the while Satoru is stood in silence, that pitying look he hates being bestowed unto him. The coffee on the table is going cold, not that Suguru has much of a stomach for it anyway.
a/n: soooo yes, reader ran from her problems (sorrrry) but it looks like suguru is about to find out everything...
tags - @animeisforkings @emikisses @boredwithwrath @karazorel7 @tomiokasecretlover  @mrsoharaa @magey0412 @thisbicc @aemiliabruno @zeunys @sukunaspillow @caixgee @ssetsuka @pinkpunkdynamite @harlamarie @chilicopsticks @khoochie @hojoslutoru @karazorel @idkuluka @itztamar @magey0412 @strflp @kaeyakaikai
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writella · 1 year ago
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Trinkets; The Gifts of Gold He Gave You
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Synopsis: A detailed record of all the special objects Daryl has found for you while hunting, riding, supply gathering, and living in the various places he has in the new world. These objects often lead to sweet moments of kindness, joy, and understanding between the two of you, deepening your connection. Although they are things others might not think much of— they were simply small gestures or trinkets after all— you believed these memories and mementos to be gifts of gold; they would shine in your mind forever onward.
Details: Daryl Dixon x fem!reader, mutual pining, kisses, lots of love and ♡ sweetness ♡ (true self indulgence at its finest), but there are also descriptions of trauma, abuse, and self-hate. Though other than that, it’s nothing else except Daryl being an endearing friend and future loverboy to you. This travels across the plot and setting of season 6-8, but it might not be a perfect fit. Lastly, even though these can be read anthologically, I did write them in a storyline as if there was an order in which Daryl gives or does these things with the reader as their relationship grows, so some past trinkets might be mentioned in the next story, but it truly isn’t too big of a deal; this is one you can have fun with! ♡
Author’s Note: My dearest reader, this one took much longer than I intended, but I think it’s because I put so much of my silly heart-filled imagination into it— truly one of my favorites to write thus far. I’m just so happy to give it to you. Feel free to read these all at once, one at a time, or pick the ones that best fit who you are. with love, writella . ♡ ⋆ ☽
Trinkets moodboard & visualizer here!
Trinket No. 1: The Ribbon ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ ⟡.•
A Bow from a Bowman
Daryl was out on a hunt one morning when he found it. It’s like he was compelled to pick it up, he did it without even thinking. It was nothing, honestly: kind of silly really, and flimsy, slightly covered by grass blades— it was dirty and discarded. But there was something about it, something tender… it reminded him of you, even though in some ways still, he hardly knew you at all.
It had been over a month since Daryl came back home to Alexandria; just a month since you entered what was supposed to be your new home. But also a week or so long journey it had been to unexpectedly find you and bring you back.
He remembered it well: you were covered in dirt, tired and hungry, running for your life from the past group you were with. He was going to let you go and mind his business— you looked scared of him anyway when you crashed into him. But most importantly, he had just lost his crossbow, his bike, and maybe even a little bit of his dignity to Dwight who stole them. He didn’t feel like getting tricked again, especially since it takes a lot to trick him; he wasn’t letting that happen again. Especially not the day after. And most especially not for a seemingly young and innocent-looking girl like Dwight’s wife, Sherry or that kid they were with, Tina.
But then, he heard the yelling, the hollering, the men– they wanted you, and none of it was for the right reasons. Very wrong and scary reasons they were indeed, ones he would soon come to understand were things you’d never want to live out or discuss again. He understood that feeling, so he stayed. He hid behind a tree. He decided to help again. Who knows of your innocence, but what was definitely true was that you were a lost and lonely girl in the woods. He knew a thing or two about those unfortunately, those stories ended badly.
Sad enough, the hiding and helping— or attempting to— led him to become a prisoner with you and your ‘group.’ He barely got scraps of food, and every night was just another day of seeing your tears, your face in a permanent state of desolation and misery; staying ever silent even when you were yelled at— even when you were forced to do things you didn’t want to do. You looked scared and small.
It was only when you all reached a hospital, one you burned to the ground just to get away from them, that Daryl saw the fight in you. You didn’t even ask for his help and he tried to save you, but in the end, you saved him. A silent soldier, you were. He returned the favor with the least he could do: he took you home.
And now there you both were. You sat by Rick’s fireplace. No one was home yet, and you had just put Judith down for the night. Daryl found you there on the floor with a book. He quietly sat near you. All you two said was hello.
And this was normal, actually– the being around each other, showing up unannounced, sitting beside each other– talking or not– or you, trying to help him with whatever work he was up to. He tried to fight it at first, but it became a regular thing. It’s what helped Daryl get to know you, and you to him.
You were equally as fierce as the fire you created not long ago, but just as gentle. Just as desiring to smile and create friendships. He knew that now. And he— he was just as rock solid and straightforward as the crossbow he once carried, but just delicate. Just as easily hurt and as quick to hide, yet so deeply desiring of loyalty and acceptance. You know that now too.
It’s still so soon, but you admired him, so deeply. You wanted to learn from him. You thought he was strong, and you wanted to be strong. All that anguish and pain and he came out a fighter, a leader.
Little did you know that is exactly what he thought of you. He went from seeing you cry yourself to sleep every night to becoming the kind and generous friend you were to almost everyone you met. Always offering to care for Judith, or allowing Carl to come to you to talk, or learning about guns and shooting with Rosita. And of course finding a way to go on supply runs, or learn to hunt, or fight walkers with Daryl as much as you could. As always, he pretended not to care that much, but he did. He couldn’t help it. He values his independence, but it was nice that there was someone who wanted to be around him so much. And he admired you for his own reasons as well: You’re someone who fills others up with lightness when such dark things have happened. He felt like that every time you two we’re together. He wanted to learn from you too.
As he sat there, thinking, he wondered if maybe that’s why he thought of you when he saw it. Maybe it was the brightness and softness of it, despite finding it on the ground, despite it being dirty. He cleaned it up, and it still shined, that’s like you but… he was still unsure. Maybe it truly was nothing, maybe it was stupid.
He looked to his side, watching your figure for a moment as he decided what to do. You were on your stomach, laying on the small rug that sat in front of the fire. You were continuing the chapter you were on, paying little attention to him. He only said ‘hey,’ after all. And you did wave back, you asked him how his day was, but all he gave you was a typical response, ‘fine,’ he had said. You thought maybe this visit wasn’t about talking so you left it. And all of this was typical anyway, for Daryl to come by Rick’s, or for you two to sit in peaceful silence, but then you started to see him fidget in his spot in your periphery, like he couldn’t decide how he wanted to sit, hands adjusting his jeans, moving things in his pocket.
“Do you wanna go to the porch?” You thought maybe he was reaching for a smoke. “I can put on the baby monitor…” He just shook his head at the suggestion.
You decide to move to the spot next to him, leaning your back against the wall. “Did something happen today?” Your voice was soft as you tilt your head, trying to reach his eyes.
“No,” he shook his head again, he was facing forward. “It’s just…”
“What?” You asked calmly.
He found it hard to speak, “Just- just brought something.” He reached into his pocket one last time, his hand in a fist as it made its way closer between the two of you until he started to release his fingers from his palm slowly.
It was a ribbon. A pearly light pink one. Just scattered in his hand. “It’s stupid,” he grumbled quietly, trying to shove it back down his pocket, but you stop him.
“Wait,” your hands gently cupping the other side of his and then you pick it up, letting him go. You wrap the ribbon around your finger and you tie it into a bow, examining it in your palm now. “This is for me?” Soft disbelief enchanted your voice. You made sure not to sound too excited or too surprised. You didn’t want to scare him, especially since he replied with:
“It's nothin’.” He was feeling slightly embarrassed.
“It's so nice,” your voice continued in its understated tone despite your smile becoming uncontainable. You couldn’t help the way your lips were curling upward, it was even hurting your cheekbones to try to make your teeth shine through a little less— Daryl Dixon just gave you a gift. And it was a little pink thing at that. Perhaps miracles are real. “It's perfect,” you say, “I can wear it in my hair.”
“It's stupid.” He repeated, brushing you off, but you saw right through him. Daryl doesn’t do anything for no reason at all.
“It's not.” Your words are so kind as your interject, “You know, sometimes it's the smallest things that mean everything. They become our favorite things even.” Your lips pressed together, forming another smile as he meets your gaze, “Like your vest that needs to be patched up.”
“It's fine,” he almost sounded defensive. It made you laugh.
As messed up as it is, it truly was fine. It was his and he loved it; that made it so. And he didn’t only have the vest, he also had his cut-up button-downs, and those ties he laced on the bottom of his jeans— you knew those were probably because the pants available didn’t always fit all the time, but nonetheless— these were all things that made him and his clothing unique from the others. Even in the apocalypse, Daryl was one of the few that maintained a personal style. You couldn’t help but love it. He could, and often always was, the guy covered all in dirt and grim and blood but he still had something about his look that was simply just him.
You missed that. Having those personal touches, and now here Daryl was with this. The simplest thing, but he brought it for you. It was your special piece, your special something. It truly was perfect.
“C’mere,” Daryl gestured, taking the ribbon from your hand and moving your shoulders so your back faced him. He undid the bow and cuffed your hair, he actually almost yanked your head with the way he gathered the ponytail, honestly– he forgets his strength, but you said nothing. Only giggling slightly, but you were mostly quiet. You tried to keep it down, afraid he might stop if he thought you were making fun of him. You wanted to reel at the closeness for as long as you could. You couldn’t believe the fact that he was doing something so domestic— you almost couldn’t breathe. He tried to detangle some pieces with his fingers and then he tilted his head to the side to leave some shorter pieces out at the front. He didn’t know what he was doing and he probably was doing it badly, but he tried his best to be delicate. He’s never touched you like this before. Every time his fingers accidentally brushed against your ear or your neck he relearned just how soft you are. And every feeling of his skin almost made you shiver; like when someone whispers in your ear, it always feels so sensitive, traveling down until you feel it everywhere. His touches felt like that. You always end up feeling his everywhere. He’s entrancing, filling you with hearts and stars.
Finally, he ties the ribbon into a bow right at the top of the ponytail he created. He’s done. He lets go. They shapes and colors fade. Everything is cold again.
But to him, everything looked warm and vibrant. Looking at you was a sight so sweet and so gentle among all this dark wreckage of the world— it was precisely how he saw you: the way the ribbon now laced around your hair looked like an angelic embrace.
You turn to him, “Thank you, Daryl.” Your smile is so sincere, so lovely, there might as well be a halo and hearts invisibly drawn all around you.
A moment passes as you continue to look at each other and your heart jumps. He’s still looking directly at you. There are moments that he looks away and you can’t help it, the bashfulness creeps up on you two, but he’s giving you all his attention; it feels great. You decide to take the chance, you can't help yourself, you hug him, you have to. It has been so long since someone gave you something. So long since someone thought of you so specifically and intimately.
He’s caught off guard, his hands don’t wrap around you until a few seconds later, but when they do, they are sure, and tight, more sure of it than you surprisingly.
You breathe him in, giggling again, “I’m surprised you smell this good.”
“Fuck you.” It makes you laugh just a bit louder, it’s the nicest ‘fuck you,’ you’ve ever heard. Its tone has a hint of sincerity in tandem with humor in just the same way you delivered your line. He shakes his head, “You’re silly.”
He lets you go and you turn away, but it’s only just a little. He watches how the ribbon lays right where he put it again, seeing the side of your face light up with your rosy smile as you sway your head. You’re trying to not make it obvious that you want to feel the wag of the bow and your hair back there so you do it slowly, it just feels so cool and so pretty. You liked it so much. You didn’t even know what it looked like yet, but it already made you feel more like yourself. Like a part of you that had left before this world began— it fit well like a missing piece finally snapping into place. It was your unique touch and he found it for you. He did it for you. Just for you.
For me, you repeated it in your mind, he found it just for me.
Trinket No. 2: The Lesson ō͡≡o˞̶ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆
Turnpikes, Gunshots, and Dreams
You had asked and asked for weeks with no let up. It made you start getting creative with your pleas: “You know, Daryl, we really should be teaching each other our skills,” you had insisted, sarcasm lining your voice. No one else in the group knew how to ride yet they were doing just fine, but you were incessant, “You never know what kind of situation we’ll be in where we might need it… I could die,” your hands raise as your voice does, “and your bike could be my only escape but I wouldn’t even know how to ride it!”
He would always just stare at you blankly, ignoring you, especially when you got dramatic like this right before you two were leaving. “Get on or stay,” he would say, “go help Rosita or somethin’.”
You’d grit your teeth and get on regardless.
But then one day, one lucky, lucky day for you— it was your earnest approach, and your silly smile, and sun-filled eyes that got the best of him as they looked up to meet his darker ones. “Please,” you said, stretching out the word, it was just as cheesy as your smile. He looked back at you from his front seat as you continued, “I just want to feel capable and- free… I don’t know,” but you did, you meant it and felt it from deep inside you. “To know I have the option I wanted to… I… I didn’t really have those before.”
He was still for a moment and then he nodded, restarting the ignition. You guessed that was another no until you started to ride past the walkers that lined the outer gate. “An hour,” he said, his eyes forward as the trees became a blur to both of you, “then we gotta get work done.” You wrapped your arms around him tightly, you only used to cup his waist or hold his shoulders, but you felt fearless today, head leaning against his back and neck, arms hugging around his torso. He finally said yes.
As time went by, you had gotten comfortable with completing your drills. You learned the controls, how to shift gears, how to waddle and power walk with the bike, operate the clutch, throttle, and lift your feet up, riding on a straight path all by yourself. Turns were still hard though, and the fact that Daryl always insisted you think about the worst-case scenario wasn’t the greatest either. He’d look you dead in the eye, his voice clear and unrestrained from his usual grovels as he said, “If a herd is comin’, or people are shooting, or if there’s something tryin’ to crash into you, you need to think about how you’re going down. Decide on what won’t fuck you up completely, then do it. ” He always got way too close to your face without realizing it in those moments, his finger almost crashing into your nose as he vigorously pointed to get the idea across.
“If something goes down, I’m not arguing,” you say. “You'll be in front.” You meant it, your voice was quiet, you understood.
But really, you didn’t: “If something go down, either of us should be able to do it.” He paused to make sure you got it this time, “That's the point.”
As if you didn’t already sense it, this was the first time you absolutely understood that Daryl was serious when he decided to do anything. Full commitment. Start to finish. You said you wanted to learn, that you wanted to be capable, then that’s exactly what he was going to teach you. You would take it seriously too.
Soon enough, Daryl allowed you to ride out of the gates of Alexandria first instead of switching off after you got a few miles out. You were getting better. So much so that today would be a different day, he explained. Daryl wanted you to ride to the Hilltop. This would be the longest distance you’ve ever rode. A whole 23 miles. But before you guys got there he would steer you in the direction of a turnpike: he wanted to practice speed, and most crucially for you, right and left turning.
His weapons and guns were strapped to his lower body, some on his thigh holster, and a machine gun over his back, all just in case, and his hold on your waist was fixed as you rode. It made you feel like a child and such a little teenager all in one with how excited you would get. Not only were you becoming skilled at riding a whole fucking motorcycle, but you were the one he was holding onto this time and it was the longest amount of time he was holding you at that.
As you reached the turnpike, he guided you around the semi-circular road. Continuing on, you saw a few walkers in the distance. He told you to speed up, there was enough space on the road and there were only four of them, they were far away anyway.
You looked back at your surroundings, other than those four, the road was pretty clear other than some broken down, discarded cars. This accidentally became a lesson on tight turns and swerving too.
Some of your turns were abrupt as you tried to go around the cars, it made you nervous. You knew it was okay not to be perfect, but it was still a little stressful to make mistakes when a master was watching behind you.
“Relax,” he’d tell you, sometimes putting his hands over yours on the handles and helping you out. “You got it.”
You went on and as the walkers approached closer, an idea arose. It was probably irresponsible, but you joked anyway, “Daryl,” you whisper-shouted with fake suspense, getting his attention. “We’re on a mission. Got to take those guys out before they get to Rick!”
He chuckled a bit, shaking his head. He leaned in closer as you leaned forward, gaining speed. One arm wrapped around your hips in totality, hand placed firmly there as the other reached for his gun, extending his arm out as you two got closer to the walkers. You two turned to face them as Daryl pulled the trigger: one shot each, straight in the head, “Got ‘em.”
You gasp, your laughter sounding so wild and fun and unrestrained in a way it hasn’t been heard by either of you before. “Is it bad if I say I hope we find another one?!”
“No, that was fun,” he agrees understatedly, trying not to fully give in. You couldn’t even see his face, yet he was trying to hide a smile.
And you were too. It was all too much honestly. You were balancing riding and having Daryl right behind you, holding onto you, trusting you to do something he’s never let anyone else do before; and you just proved you both could probably kill it in a high stakes situation. Well, maybe not, this was very, very low stakes, but still, it made you believe. You decided to ride the high, quite literally as you kept going, shouting back: “Imagine us in battle?”
Oh, wait— your grin fades slightly, you immediately regretted it after you said it. The point of this life was to try to find a way to live, not always fighting to survive. Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say.
The silence makes you feel like an idiot until Daryl speaks up, both hands now on your hips, thumbs pressing into your back, “If we were in battle,” he almost whispers into your ear, “we’d be their worst fuckin’ nightmare.”
You feel your smile practically reaching your ears. “We’re a team,” you say, the humor coming back to your face now, the shine in your teeth reflecting the sun as it always does. “A dream team.”
A dream… Maybe. You definitely were at least, but that is a thought he doesn’t let come to the forefront. He let it go. But it was true… something about you felt unreal to him. The way you wanted to be around him this much, so interested in the things he does; he still didn’t get it, it almost felt unbelievable. He wondered when it was going to stop. When he would wake up. He didn’t want to wake up. The thought grows, he can’t avoid it now: you are a dream. One he didn’t even know he wanted.
Trinket No. 3: Lucky Charms **•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Flying Away With You
You gasp excitedly, “The Eiffel Tower!” You hold the bottom up to the light as he still holds the top. “Nice,” you say with bright eyes, “I found the Statue of Liberty in the mom’s jewelry box and a few others that weren’t on her charm bracelet.” You showed him the mother’s sterling silver and he showed you the daughter’s that he found. “I guess they were traveling family… or wanted to be.” You feel a heaviness behind your eyes after you say it.
You loved collecting these charms, but sometimes there was a sadness to it. Like you were collecting other people's tokens, little pieces of their personalities and their stories, keeping it as your own. It almost felt invasive. But it was something that you and Daryl did together. You liked that. Another thing that made you feel close to him… Maybe this was like keeping their memory alive? You may not have known them or know what happened to them, but you were giving something that they loved new life. The charms did make you happy, after all. Especially because it was Daryl that got you into it. But it was also you who got Daryl into it too.
You both can recall the first day it all started: He found it incredulous that you cared more about a little piece of jewelry you saw in the dirt rather than the bigger thing that was right by it: the deer Daryl just shot, the one that you two had been tracking for what felt like hours.
His face twisted up to you as he collected his bolt from the body, “We just caught a deer, and you’re lookin’ at that?”
“We just caught a deer for the first time in months and this was right by them… it’s literally good luck!” You held the gold sun charm to the actual light source it was designed after, “Look at us… Lucky charm, dream team, remember?” Your smile was just so wide after you said it, he let his slight irritation go. It was easy actually, he was always taken aback by that smile. It still wasn’t that long ago when he thought you weren’t the type to do so, like him most of the time. He had only seen you sad, but now, I’m Alexandria, you just glowed. Eyes and an essence as bright as the sun, and that smile, all teeth and just as pearly as the moon… The charm was perfect for you and it needed its match. Maybe a star too. He would find it.
He still remembers where he found those. He came across a silver crescent moon necklace discarded on the floor of a girl’s bedroom. It was simplistic, like one or those expensive necklaces that shouldn’t even be that expensive because of how small it was, but it was a perfect charm size, and it shined, there were no scratches. In the other girl’s room in the house, probably the younger sister, there was a charm bracelet on the desk. It was kind of childish and clunky, like one you could get in those supermarket toy vending machines. He took the first charm he touched and removed the clasp from it for your moon. It was hard to do it with his fingers on something so small and dainty but after a few tries, he managed.
As for the star, he found it on a walker in the woods. It was a little girl, it almost made him feel bad to do it because he knew you’d feel bad about it, but her and what looked like her mom and dad went straight for the two rabbits he just caught, ripping their skin, eating them. He shot them all in the head. The thud of their bodies to the ground only seconds apart. Oh well, were his thoughts, their fault for messing with his catch. After that is when he noticed the gold charm bracelet on the kid’s wrist. It was different from the one he saw last time in that other girl’s room, it wasn’t a fake toy, it was more refined. Maybe they were a well-off family.
There was a star was at the center. It’s all he wanted, but he thought you might want to see the others she had too— they were all nature themed, he kind of liked it— so he tried to take the bracelet off but it wasn’t working. The thing fit her wrist perfectly and the bracelet clasp was stuck so, in typical Daryl fashion… he just chopped the girl's hand off.
Kind of gross, and he would definitely have to keep the red off of everything now, but the star charm was gold, it would match the sun charm and the moon would stand out at the center, he assumed. He thought it could look nice… and beggars can’t be choosers in the apocalypse anyway. After he took the bracelet he discarded of the hand, tossing it to the ground like it was nothing. (He’d leave that part out if you asked for the story later). Now that he had the bracelet, you would also have a gold owl, a bunny, a bird, and if it couldn’t get any better, there was a deer charm too. That’s what was most important about the account anyway.
That night, Daryl crawled into your bedroom from the window while you were asleep. He placed the star and moon on top of your journal that was on your desk, and after that, he left. That was it. He just wanted to surprise you. He’d give you the rest later. You only realized he did it and how he did it when you closed your window that was slightly left open the next day. There were scuff marks on the window sill. They were from his shoes.
After that it became a game; a little side quest. Like how people would count red versus blue cars or shout ‘punch buggy,’ when they are out with their family. An activity that took you out of your boredom, or really, for you in the apocalypse, it was an activity that made you feel oddly sane again, since you always dealt with the insane everyday anyway.
That was what today was about. At least on the down low; at least after you found anything of value for the community; at least to you two. You guys had found what seemed to be a wealthy neighborhood a while ago, when you passed that turnpike. The houses there were so big there, but all you had was his bike at the time, nowhere to put supplies and you were expected at the Hilltop, you couldn’t stay and look around.
It had been a little while after that and you had a plan now, a few Alexandrians backing you up with cars. You two finished your portion of houses to sweep and now you were waiting on the others, sitting in one of the house porches. That’s why you both were showing each other your finds from this place and the others.
You continued to hold the Eiffel Tower charm in your hand, “Maybe we should go to Paris…” Your voice was wistfully, then a quietness lingered in the air, it made you laugh awkwardly, releasing the tension. Your suggestion was one of those silly things you say where you mean it, but you pretend it’s just a joke, knowing it won’t have any outcome. “All of us, I mean,” you do mean it, but at the same time you we’re just talking about him right now. “That would be nice.”
“What would I do in Paris?” He asks it while he fixes his weapons, you’re sitting back, looking at the trees. He thought it was a ridiculous idea. He’s never been anywhere. He hadn’t even been to Virginia or D.C. before this and there’s no way he could go anywhere else now.
“Well I guess we’re never going to know unless we find out… you can eat!” You laugh, “You do like eating.”
He snorts, “Who knows if there’s food left there.”
Pessimist. “Again— we’re never going to know unless we find out.”
“Have fun tryin’ to become a pilot,” his drawl comes out strong on that last word. “Or a plane.”
“I guess that’s the next charm we need to find, an airplane or a captain’s hat. I am a pilot… or I can pretend to be.” There’s that smile again, “I can do anything.”
“Bet you could.” He meant it.
You nod, your next words making you laugh at yourself, “I’m Barbie.”
“Better,” he mutters. You can barely hear it. You don’t know if it was real so you say nothing until—
“We’re going to travel the world some day, Daryl.” You say it so surely, breaking the moment of silence, “We’ll find a way.” As long as we’re together. As long as you want me.
That’s all you wanted, truly. Even if this world really couldn’t take you to Paris, or New York, or anywhere out of Virginia. All you wanted was him. All you wished and hoped for is that he wanted you… but did he? You still weren’t sure.
Trinket No. 4: The Flower and the Photograph 𓇢𓆸
Back Pocket Memory
You two were almost near Alexandria, only a few miles left to drive. “Do you think we can just sit down over there before heading back?”
Daryl continued driving, “Dangerous to leave a good van with supplies just put.”
You pointed to the clearing you were referring to ahead. The trees were sparse in that area, it might have been a meadow, but you didn’t know the difference. There was a little pond near the center. “Can we just drive the car a little bit closer? Just for a few minutes?” You look up at him, your eyes doing that little sunshine thing as it always does, “I just want to sit in the grass,” you say, putting your hand out the window, feeling the wind through your fingers, “the sky feels so nice today.”
He huffs, but does as you ask. “Get out,” he says, gesturing to you to walk over to the area you pointed at. “Pick your spot.” You run over and he follows. You have this wonder about you, it was almost childlike, but not childish, more— sweet, innocent perhaps.
You jump down to the ground and cross your legs on the grass, looking out at the pond. Daryl parks the car a little behind you and comes out to sit on the hood. His legs spread, knees almost to his chest, his elbows lay on there, arms extended.
You look at him, “You’re really not going to sit down?”
“If someone comes up behind us and steals our shit then that’s gonna be your fault.”
Fair. You gesture at him to move over and you sit to his side on top of the car.
As you settle, you close your eyes and you raise your face to the sky. Feeling the warmth of the sun on your closed eyelids. There was a majestic kind of wind that blew in the air today. It made everything look effortless, especially Daryl.
His ever-so disheveled hair had pieces flying on both sides, brushing some parts out of his face, and pushing others in. As always, it was just enough that they didn’t completely cover his eyes. How does that always happen? Thinking about it makes you giggle lightly as you look at him.
“What?” He asks, becoming a little self conscious.
You shake your head, your eyes looking at him kindly, hoping to ease his nerves. “You just look nice.” Your voice was silvery and sweet as you said it.
You get up and skip toward the pond, picking a flower and coming back to him. You sit down and try to put the tiniest white flower behind his ear.
“What’re you doin’?” He tries to swat it away, playfully hitting your other hand that tries to hold him in place and he takes the flower from your other hand. He successfully places it behind your ear instead. “Better,” he says.
As he looks at you, he notices light pieces of your hair frizzing up at the top from the wind, other pieces at the bottom still moving around slightly. It didn’t look bad, to him, your hair looks more like that invisible halo he sees when you’re around, and with that flower in your hair, you look like a true angel or maybe even a fairy with all the greenery surrounding you. You’re just lovely.
You give him a closed smile, your head falling to your knees. “Pretty day,” you sigh contentedly.
Pretty girl.
Handsome man.
Then a thought comes. Your smile turning to a grin.
“What?” He asks sharply. He knows the look you get when you’re up to something at this point.
You grab your backpack from your side, slowly bringing out the polaroid camera you found earlier today.
“No,” he pushes the side of your face, already detesting the idea.
“Daryl,” you whine.
He says it straight this time, “No.”
“But…” your eyes trail his face for a moment before continuing, “you just look… I don’t know. It’s like I said, you just look so- nice.” There’s other words you could use, but you don’t, not yet. “I just think it would be nice to have a nice picture. All we take pictures of is the houses and work. It’s boring and a waste.” You pause, “Daryl… Please?”
He rolls his eyes, grumbling, “You first.”
He’s glad no one was around when these moments happened. Someone might think you had him completely whipped. His brother definitely would think so if he was still around. Daryl was almost embarrassed of himself because of it. But you don’t ask for much. Other than the bike thing, you really didn’t. You trusted him and you were patient. You went along with his plans and you could sit for long car rides and periods of time in quietness if that’s what he wanted. You never pushed him to tell you his story. He only knew a part of yours circumstantially and he didn’t push you for more details after he brought you home, so you did the same. He could feel you wanted to ask more questions, but he also saw you stop yourself, move on, you were creative with your conversation topics: you asked him about what the best thing he hunted was, or what his favorite things were about your friends. You were so gentle with him. Maybe you could get him to do almost anything you wanted without you even knowing, but it was worth it for someone like you.
You look down shyly, “I’m not good at pictures,” you admit.
“You’ll look fine.” He wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. You’re so alike, more than you know.
He tilted your jaw with his thumb. It was too quick for you to melt into it but the feeling lingered, it made you buzz with excitement and it was easy to smile after that. He looked through the viewfinder, seeing you do that pretty sunny smile, matching the yellow bud of the white flower. He clicked the button. Beautiful.
You snatch the camera instantly, “Your turn!” You were too eager but you didn’t care.
You take the flower from your hair and bring it toward him. He sucks his teeth, saying your name as he does so, “No!”
“Yes, Daryl!” You push it over his ear, but not before he pushes you knee, just to do it. He didn’t even know why he was fighting, he knew he was letting you have your way right now. “Look,” you sound like a school teacher, “very nice.”
You even out some of the frizzy parts at the top of his head, the light wind was still blowing through it, it was futile so you left it, he looked great anyway. A perfectly imperfect mess.
He crossed his arms over his knees and looked into your eyes. You held the camera to your face and snapped the shot. “Beautiful.”
You stare at him for a moment longer. If anyone else was here that could see those all to familiar hearts and stars around you and in your eyes, it was so hard to hide. “I’m keeping this,” you said, placing the polaroid delicately in your back pocket. He said nothing, he wasn’t going yo let you know he cared about a dumb picture. “Okay, thank you for indulging me,” you start, taking the flower from his ear, “let’s go home.”
Later that night, past one am, he came through your window again. But this time you saw. Your head was almost covered by the blankets, your eyes slightly open. He didn’t even look in your direction. Maybe he wanted to be quick.
You saw him go into your bookbag. It was hanging on your desk chair. He took the picture out. He wanted it. He wanted your picture. The one that matched yours of him. Maybe this was something. Maybe he did want you.
You closed your eyes quickly when he started to turn around, then watched as quietly as you could as he neared the window, starting to climb out but not before he placed the polaroid in his back pocket, just like you did. Now you both had a piece of each other, forever.
Trinket No. 5: The Music Player and the Wish on an Eyelash ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻ ♬♪
Never Fade Away
It’s official, in all the ways it possibly could be: Alexandria was truly your home. More time has passed: you live in a house, you have a job, you have family— it’s your friends. In some ways things are better than they have ever been… yet you still think about the night and the dark just as much as you used to. You tried to hide it, you wanted to be grateful and you were. But the things that used to happen to you, and the people that hurt you… they still lingered like ghosts when night came.
In the closed and guarded walls of your community, you hoped night could be a time and place that was peaceful. But thoughts of an attack, thoughts of losing your first real home, it left you apprehensive and paranoid of what could happen in your vulnerable state. And when you close your eyes, sometimes the past visits your dreams. It all felt inescapable.
It makes you so fearful that despite keeping your window’s curtain open, a battery-powered lantern resides practically glued to your nightstand— always on when the sun goes down. You knew it was a waste of a resource, but at least you kept it on low, at least when you woke up in the middle of the night, closer to morning really, you remembered to turn it off— the sun making its way back around soothed your nerves; it was always that initial getting-to-sleep part that made you need it anyway.
And of course, you’ve tried to calm yourself down at night using different methods to see what stuck: You do read— your neighbors were always kind enough to lend whatever books were in their houses— and you did daydream— letting your mind wander to happier, more wondrous places when you wanted to escape— and it did help sometimes, but on other nights, it wasn’t enough.
You miss watching tv in bed. There was something about the buzz of the box, and the voices of humor and romance and relatability that miraculously took you away, and helped you stop thinking, even allowed you to drift to sleep… it was a luxury you didn’t have anymore, and not only did you not have that luxury, you also had an overabundance of dead or deadly issues to worry about. It all haunted you.
You sat with your back against the headboard of the bed. You’ve yet to put on any night clothes. You had already read the next chapter of your book, and you would have read another, and possibly another after that, but tonight you knew it would have just kept you awake as something to do instead of worrying about sleep. You were tired though. That’s why you stopped, but you also weren’t ready for trying to catch sleep that wouldn’t come.
Part of you hoped Daryl would stop by, but he doesn’t always, and he probably won’t tonight. Some nights he’s out until the next day or the next week, who knows how far he went this time, you didn’t go with him and he left too quickly to ask. It had been a few days since you saw him last.
When he was here though, he did start to make it a habit of stopping by to see you, especially when it was time for Alexandrians to settle into their homes for the night. He stopped being so quiet through the window and only dropping things off. He would start coming through the door. It was just a light chat for a couple of minutes at first, then there were the times when he stayed an hour or two. He always sat on your floor, by the window, or by the door. You never understood why until you insisted he sit in your chair by the closet. It was only until a few more visits later you realized the chair's light color becoming just a bit visibly darker. It was soot and hard work and the air, he worked outside all day and usually visited before he called it a night. You made sure not to mention it, you just cleaned it yourself. No need for him to feel embarrassed.
Besides, you didn't mind, anytime he walked through your door or jumped in from your window, that was his chair, at least that’s what you called it in your head. You liked that. You liked that after he brought you home he didn’t move on and let you be. In his defense, you didn’t let him be either, but he could have always distanced himself if he wanted to, told you no, but he didn’t.
You two have gotten so close quite quickly. You both felt it and you didn’t know why, but at the same time, you did. It was something left unspoken, even in your mind, always on the side toward the back of your brain. That part knew you could fall in love with him, but why admit it to yourself if the other person might not feel the same? You were still feeling that way. Despite all the moments you’ve shared thus far. His silent nature was endearing at times, but it could also be a very confusing gripe of yours. There were moments when you knew exactly where his mind was, but there were other times when you simply did not. Especially when it came to you. Daryl always gave you just enough, and maybe tonight, it would be nothing at all.
At least that’s where your thoughts resided until you heard the creak of your door slowly pushing inward.
Daryl’s hand holds the doorknob, meeting your eyes as he steps in further. Your window casting just enough light on his face.
“Hi,” you meant to be clever, ask him if he knew how to knock, but only wistful, subdued surprise is all that came out in your one-word greeting.
“Hey,” he replied, it almost seemed like he was surprised too, you couldn’t tell it from his voice but from the way he cut the word short. “Didn’t know if you were awake.”
You laugh somberly, “You didn’t?”
“Didn’t see you in the window.”
His voice is low, your house is quiet, and people are asleep in the other rooms. You match his tone with your own quietness, “Right,” you say. The window did hit the bed end, not the top. But he knew you were a late sleeper. He even came and sat with you for longer the night before he left because you had told him about it— he knew, he had to, but you didn’t question it.
“Um,” he’s looking down, “Was just gonna leave somethin’.”
He starts to walk to your nightstand but you stop him, your hand reaching out, not touching him, but it’s just enough to pull him to your gaze. “You’re gonna leave without showing me?”
Daryl positions himself toward you and you sit up. Gingerly, he takes something small out of his front pocket, it was covered in one of his bandanas. He looks at it for a moment, almost unsure before placing it on the bed, right in front of your lap.
It was an MP3 player. One of those slim rectangular ones with a digital rectangular screen to match and a big circular button with the controls covering the bottom half. There were some small scratches in the screen corners and some dent marks in the back. The arrow buttons were starting to fade too, but he handed you some headphones out of his back pocket as you continued to examine it, it must have worked.
You look up at him, eyes wide, shining just a bit in the dark just like the little silver miracle that was in your hands. You remembered having one of these, the thought made your lips curl, a light open-mouthed smile forming as the nostalgia set in.
You move closer to the edge of the bed, the sky illuminating you more in your semi-darkened room. You place your hand on the other end of your bed, “Come,” you say as your tap the spot. He’s hesitant before he finally accepts the invitation, sitting down. You would have insisted anyway if he didn’t.
You flip the switch on the side then and the music starts instantly in your right ear where you set one of the earbuds in. You tried to put the left on him, but he shook his hand, “You listen.” You let him be for now, you were too excited to see what the previous owner was into.
The songs are scattered from different decades, but what you notice the most of as you skip through were various 90s and 2000s rock, pop-punk, pop, and the like. There was Nirvana, but also Fiona Apple to Blondie, and even Elvis. It was a little all over the place, really. This definitely had to be a teen’s in the early or late aughts. You thought maybe Carl would like this. There was even some stuff that you were sure had to have come out in 2010, right before the apocalypse began… Another kid who wouldn’t get to spend the rest of their teens, or young adulthood, or adult life like they were supposed to, like you were supposed to.
Having these thoughts while Aerosmith’s Fly Away From Here played was not helping, especially since it made you think of your lost family, and those from your found family that were gone now too, so you decided to skip, but the button seemed to fidget. You tried again, then again, even touching the screen. You accidentally made the shuffle icon come onto the bottom corner.
“Don’t like Aerosmith?” Daryl read it on the screen, but he also recalled the melody, even from just the soft buzz produced by the headphones, the volume was accidentally turned all the way up, you set it down.
You give him a light smile, “Aerosmith’s fine. Just have to be a little more careful with this, I guess.”
You continue to press forward to see what else is there until you shriek, color coming back to your face as you shake your head at the memory emerging as you listen. “Oh my god, my sibling used to love this song when we were younger.” It was Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend that was playing. “We used to put on the radio or look up the music videos on the tv and dance. They loved doing that…” Your voice was soft, both sweet yet desolate, “I knew all the popular songs and all their favorite songs whether I liked it or not.” You giggle, “I can lie this one is fun.”
You knew Daryl would probably scoff, but you lightly place the left earbud near his ear for a few seconds so he can hear what you’re talking about.
“Definitely a chick’s.”
“‘Chick’?” It was funny, and you did laugh, but you still decide to protest, “It’s just one song and…I don’t know, I think it’s a pretty eclectic mix of artists…” You continue to press forward as you ask, “Were there kids? Or- did there used to be?”
“Based on the rooms.” He nods, “Boy and a girl.”
“Hm,” you say curiously, flipping through the songs: the next one that played was by Linkin Park, then Alanis Morisette… you wondered if the kids shared it or shared interests. Suddenly, the player starts Lit’s My Own Worst Enemy. Your eyes are starlit as you gasp, “Oh, this one is so you.”
This time you fully push the headphone into his left ear, turning the volume all the way up as the first verse plays, his face is fixed, “This ain’t me.” There is silence as the music continues and he scorns, “You think I used to just get drunk all the time?”
“Daryl,” your laugh is light, “no.” It was a ridiculous thought and he should know it, but nonetheless, you console him, “Of course not.” Your hand reaches forward onto the bed, nearing where his own resided, but not touching. It saddened you to see Daryl always react like this to small things. He was never judgmental, but he was always so quick to believe others would judge him. “Maybe not that part,” you smile, slightly mischievous, “but- okay, this-” you sing-speak along lightly, remembering to stay quiet, “it’s no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy, cause every now and then I kick the living shit out of me- that's you! That's literally you.”
He shakes his head, ‘Whatever,’ the gesture says with his grunt.
“No, you’re actually a little bit self-deprecating, I think. At least internally.” You continue, “Oh, and this part— I didn't mean to call you that- you see?” You say, humor still in your smile, “That part is you.”
Daryl gives you another small grunt indicating ‘no’ as he shakes his head again. “If I say something to someone, then I mean it. Wouldn’t say it if I don’t.”
“Well, you also mean a lot of what you don’t say,” your eyes trail to the side. You knew that didn’t make sense, but it did to you. There was a part of you that was still in denial of your feelings or if there was a possibility he had any for you either. You’d never see him talk or treat anyone in a more than friendly way– or whatever Daryl’s version of friendly was. You wanted to protect yourself by not admitting you adored him, even to yourself, but really, you knew. And there was the way he kept giving you these things, these little moments: the ribbon, the picture, the charms… It made that smaller part of you that believed something was there, glow and warm inside your heart.
You look at him, there was a sorrow placed on both of your faces, but he just looks at his hand that is placed on the bed through his hair, the one that's so close to yours. “You really don’t think there is anything you don’t regret saying?” Another song passes, you didn’t recall it, but then the playlist shifts to something slower, it’s the Beatles. “I just think you keep a lot inside… It’s okay though. But it is just something I notice.”
Normally, a comment like this or something similar to it would sound trite and judgmental, there are a lot of things people don’t talk about now, but you say it with understanding, a little sad because you can’t help it, but your voice is kind, like gentle fingers through his hair, evening it out; a voice that shows you care, you see him and respect him even if you do want more. “It’s okay,” you whisper as Paul McCartney’s voice sings softly, “I’m not half the man I used to be, there’s a shadow hanging over me.” It felt like he was speaking right to Daryl as he continued to look away from you.
It’s moments like this where he wants to say it all. The sad stories from his childhood that he has never been able to tell anyone before. Stories about his brother… the bad, yes, but even some of the good ones. He knows he could talk to Rick if he wanted, or Carol. His group was loyal to him as much as he was to them– he knew that, but they probably wouldn’t care to hear about Merle, it would probably make them angry to be reminded of all the bad things he’s done to them. He wouldn’t blame them. In many ways, and for more reasons then all of them, he will always be angry at his brother too. This is why he didn’t even like to let himself think about the past, but in other ways, it still sucked. It makes him feel alone, like talking about himself or his brother or the past was just a gateway to hurting himself and scaring others, scaring you.
You wipe him away from those thoughts even though you didn’t even hear them, your voice pulling him out of his trance, “Things are harder now, Daryl, but I think you’ve only gotten better.” There is still so much you don’t know, but nonetheless, it’s like you can read his mind.
“This is the only me you know.”
“And even then I don’t think you’re the man I met when you found me… We’re definitely not the same people.” Your hand is just inches from his fingertips now. “We all have things to improve on, even if we think we’ve already grown up. I think that’s a part of growing up actually… just realizing that you never do, or at least not entirely. You’re always going to continue to grow.” Your words linger in the air as the next song starts, it’s Paramore, it’s The Only Exception— something still laced with melancholia but it has a sweet gentleness to it. It's just like you. This is how you were trying to be with your words. “It’s better if you allow it though, or work toward it instead of against it, I think.” You laugh at yourself then, “But I'm far from perfect so I should really stop talking.” Blush creeps onto your cheeks, you’re hopeful the night’s light doesn’t show it too much.
He wishes he could tell you he thinks you’re perfect, or at least something close to it. At least for him. You truly were like an angel. Maybe Radiohead is on this too.
The chorus continues to play, leading to the song’s ending and his jaw tightens. It’s annoying that you were right, your words from before echo to him. They weren’t nonsensical, he did get it: he does mean the things he never says as much as the things he does, but no one will ever get to know. Not that everyone has to, but maybe for you, maybe just a little, maybe you can be the exception. And he can tell that you’re trying to me: who carries around a silly little ribbon anyway? Or who keeps their window open almost every night, even on cold nights? He felt like he was failing you. Maybe these gifts and these small moments weren't enough. Maybe they were just trinkets; meaningless, giving you false hope for a love he couldn’t provide.
You both hear the outro, “Oh, and I’m on my way to believing,” and his heart pangs at that. Maybe he doesn’t have to fail, maybe he can try, at least right now, “It’s just…” he speaks up, his voice clears, “It made me think of you when I saw it.” He was talking about the mp3, “That’s why I brought it back… You’re always humming under your breath. Now you can stop annoying me with the same old thing.”
Your eyes roll, but you aren’t mad, in fact, you can't help that it makes you smile. “Oh, okay, Daryl,” you say through quiet bits of laughter.
“Also thought it could help you sleep… I dunno.”
You nod intently at his words, “Thank you,” and that wistfulness in your voice returns. “That's really kind.”
He nods back. He’s so gruff and straight-faced all the time, but was it bad to say that there were moments when you can't help but see him as adorable? He was always trying not to meet your gaze through his hair, and it was always messy like a kid’s, just like when you took that photograph.
Muse’s Starlight starts playing as you brush some of the hair out of his face. It's an awkward transition, but it's what you get from accidentally pressing shuffle so many times. In the end, though, the words make it seem perfect for the moment. The singer spoke of desire and escape, about missing loved ones and wanting to keep someone special, someone that's like starlight, close by. You understood that. He did too.
You giggle lightly, “Daryl, you- you have something…” You point at your face in reflection of his.
“What?” He wipes his nose.
“No, it's- it’s here,” you say, taking your finger to lightly catch the eyelash that threatened to slip away from his face and onto the bed. “Make a wish,” you whisper. Your face is nothing short of innocence and wonder.
His snorts, “I’m not doin’ that.”
“Daryl,” you eyes widened with apparent prodding and pleading annoyance, but your words still have a sense of amusement to them, “I think we need all the luck we can get.” Your head tilts as you say through your smiling teeth, “I’ll do it with you…?”
“Fine.” He can’t help that your squeal makes his lips curl but he’s trying to hide it.
“You have to really do it.” You turn the music down, it's in the background now. Your usual sun-filled eyes are currently wide like the moon as you look into his, coming closer to his face.
He nods, “Okay.”
“Promise?” You sing.
“Promise.” He meant it, he even closed his eyes before you to prove it.
You closed your eyes too, “Okay, I’m trusting you.” Squeezing them tightly, you whisper, “Think about what you want, and then I'm going to count to three and we blow.”
Instantly, your heart foolishly thinks of Daryl. You know you could be thinking about the safety of your group, the stability of Alexandria, or hoping that the threat everyone feels coming subsides into nothingness, but all your thoughts are just of him. It makes you feel like a silly little girl, waiting for that big romantic confession of love that you dream about, the one that will probably never come.
I wish for you, you think. You can’t help it, you can’t say anything else, this is the only thing that’s true, I just wish to stay by your side, forever.
The song echoes your hopes too, I’ll never let you go if you promise not to fade away.
You agree, never fade away, please.
“Okay,” you say softly aloud, “1… 2… 3…” And then your wish flies into the air. You two stare at each other afterwards, eyes starry like the sky from your window.
You wished for each other.
Trinket No. 6: Scars, Marks, Tattoos, and Internal Wounds ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆
The Things I Only Trust You to Know
It’s another night. Another visit. It wasn’t intentional this time, but your curtains were drawn. They’re almost never drawn, at least not completely. The window was still open though, the night’s breeze ruffled them backwards. Daryl became concerned, so he climbed up, opening the window wider and pushing the curtains to the side to get through.
He saw you crying.
Hearing the thud of his boots stomp lightly to the ground triggered you to turn, body facing the closet as you were curled in your bed. You didn’t want him to see you. “I’m tired tonight, Daryl.” Your voice was low, you tried to keep in neutral. For the most part you were doing well, but it was still obvious you weren’t fine— he saw your face before you covered it.
He sat down on the edge of your bed, his legs hitting by your feet. He didn’t feel like asking if you were okay if you were going to lie and say no. “You can tell me to go if you want,” was all he said, rubbing your arm as he did and then let go. You starting sniffling involuntarily because of the touch. You realized you were holding in a breath, the shaky exhale came out louder than you wished it did. “I’m sorry,” your voice blubbering. You were embarrassed. You hadn’t done this in front of him since before he brought you home.
“Don’t gotta be.”
“I feel stupid,” you say under your breath. You’re still trying to hide your face.
“Stop.” He puts his hand over your body now, on the bed, and he faces you. “What’s wrong?”
You shake your head slowly, looking at him, “I don’t know how to say. I can’t-”
“Just say it,” he said calmly.
You felt heat rising from your throat, it was like the words were trying to come out, but it felt scary to do so, it made your teeth grind against each other. Your head shakes harder, “I don’t think I can.”
He brings a hand to your face and wipes some of your tears with his thumb, “What would you tell me?”
You would tell him to speak, that it’s okay, you both knew it. The thought makes you sit up in your bed, tears still running down your cheeks, but you were going to try.
“You’re just going to get annoyed,” you wipe some of your tears with your wrist, “think I’m dumb, like a little girl.”
“You’re not dumb,” he spoke over you before you finished.
You pause, you shake your head again. The words are on your tongue but you just feel so bad and so embarrassed to admit it. “Sometimes I just…” your voice hitches and your hands goes to your head, more tears fall, “it’s just one of those days, I guess.”
One of Daryl’s hands goes to your shoulder and your upper back, he pats you until it quickly becomes a soft, swaying motion.
Your voice doesn’t go above the lightest whisper as you try to start again, “Sometimes- I just look at myself and I-” a sob erupts from your throat and tears roll much quicker, “I know you’re going to think I’m stupid, but sometimes I just wonder if anyone could love me.” It doesn’t even feel good to finally admit it, but you continue, “I feel like there’s something wrong with me. Like maybe I’m not enough. Or I’ll never be.”
Daryl’s face heats up. How could you ever feel that way about yourself? How do you not see yourself as anything less than everything he’s seen in you since the day he met you? You’re not stupid. Never. He feels stupid for not seeing this in you. He feels stupid for it being so hard for him to tell you everything wonderful about yourself in the way you deserve.
He thinks for a moment, he wishes he was more poetic, but he wasn’t and there are still certain things he’s not ready to say. So he decides on something else as he calls your name, “You’re telling me you can’t see you’re a tough son of a bitch?” The phrase makes you laugh involuntarily through your tears, he always says it like it’s one word. “One that found a way to burn down a hospital and kill a bunch of dickheads in one go just to stay alive?” He huffs, “Prettiest arsonist I’ve seen.”
You gasped but it made you smile lightly, it was funny. “I’m not an arsonist! And it was only part of the building.”
“Coulda fool me.” He tilts his head, “But you’re also probably one of the best scavengers we got. And you’re a good friend.” His hand travels to your knee, “You’re really good at talkin’ to people… and to me.”
You try to let his words fill you up but there is still doubt. “I don’t feel like pretty and really good are the right words.”
“Then you’re wrong.”
You shake your head.
He doesn’t get it, “Well, what do you see that I’m not?”
Your heart beats ferociously, you don’t move, you’re hesitant, you don’t know if this is right, but there is a part of your that wants to. “Can I show you something?” You asked.
He nods.
It’s scary, but you decide to trust him, showing him the part of yourself you felt most ashamed of. The part of you that you thought was unloveable.
But he sees nothing shameful, nothing bad, he just holds onto it or another part of you, caressing you gently. “You’re perfect,” he says, shrugging as if his words aren’t a big deal, but he knows they are. This is the first time he doesn’t keep a thought like this in his head anymore. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
He turns his back on you now, and he takes a breath, sighing deeply. You’re confused until he sighs and starts to speak; “When you were with those guys— and I know it ain’t the same, but— I know what it’s like. For people to use you.” He swallows hard, “I don’t like myself all the time neither.”
Your eyes widen. He was taking off his shirt. The first thing you see are tattoos, until your eyes travel to the other side, you see what he meant; the scars. “My dad. He was a drunk and a loser and an asshole.” Daryl's voice hitched, you couldn’t tell if he was crying or not, but you had never heard him like this before. “He did it to my brother too, Merle. But then he just left when he was old enough. Didn’t even give a shit that our dad was gonna do it to me,” there was anger in his voice. “He said he didn’t know,” and then he chokes on his words, “but how can I believe that? Thought it’d just skip a generation? He never changed. Neither of ‘em.” You wanted to hold him, but you didn’t know if it was too soon. He was still speaking, “Then when I got old enough, I left too. Some time later I started drifting ‘round with Merle, like that was gonna be any better… Two fucked up kids doing nothin’ with their fucked up lives.” His face turned to the side, you saw his profile, his eyes were red, “That’s what I did before Rick… You all were going to do good things with your life and I was gonna be nothing.”
“Daryl…” you were crestfallen, “I’m so sorry.” You held his arm, stroking it softly. “But you weren’t going to be nothing.”
“Yes, I was.”
“There is no thinking about what could have been. This is how life is. Maybe this was always going to happen,” your voice falters as you say it. “You’re not nothing. You’ve become everything to so many people.”
He turns his face back around and you look at his back again. It was difficult to look at, you won’t lie. Your heart sunk low, like it was being squeezed and brought down to the pit of your stomach to know that someone put him through this. Someone who was supposed to love him. Another tear escaped your eye at of the thought.
“Daryl,” you stutter meekly, “Is it okay if I hold you?”
His nod is so faint you barely see it, but he doesn’t say anything else so you believe it is a yes.
Your fingers ghost over his back until you let the tips of them finally lay on his skin.
His eyes wince and squeeze as he shutters despite your fingers trailing so tenderly. Your palm is now flat on his back as you move downwards and back up again. You kiss near his shoulder, right on the tip of his highest tattoo and then you wrap your arms around him, under his arms over his waist, and he holds your hands there.
You stay there for a long while, you don’t have a recollection of time. The moment feels like forever, although it is sad and you wished you weren’t discussing the things you were to get here, you don’t want it to end. “You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met,” you tell him.
It’s quiet until he says, “No,” disagreeingly, “You’re not brave just because you go through some shit.”
“But you still are,” you insist. “This happened to you and you chose to be the person you are now despite it. You became someone invincible.” You pressed him against you tighter, “I’m proud of you. Every day.”
Finally he turns around and takes you in his arms, your head now resting over his shoulder as your chests touch, closing the gap. You lay down on the bed and he stays on top of you. One hand plays with your hair and you continue to caress his back.
“I really like your tattoos,” you whisper, almost a giggle in your voice. “They look really good on you.”
He smiles a little. He never takes off his shirt so people barely see all the ones he has. He liked that you liked them. “Thank you,” he says.
“Do you want more? If you could?” You also want to ask why he got the ones he did, but the crying has made you sleepy and him being on top of you is making your mind hazy. “I wish I could,” is all you add.
He looks at you, “Maybe that’s the next thing we find.” He was talking about a tattoo gun, “That’s the kind of junk people don’t need now, we’ll look.”
He plays with your hair again, both your smiles are so innocent and lazy, you two would knock out soon, but it was nice to talk about something that used to be mundane for a moment.
“What if we do it and it turns out bad?”
“We’re not gonna find it tomorrow.”
“Right,” you say, moving on. “You know… I remember I used to be so scared of that stuff— needles and blood. I can imagine wincing just thinking about a needle touching me at the doctor’s… But now, I think that’s a pain I’d actually prefer… Rather than the other things we’ve gone through… If there ever was a choice like that.”
He agrees, “If there was a choice, I’d be covered by now.”
You two laugh at that, letting go of each other. Your bodies are on your sides, parallel to one another as you lay down. You’re on the side that faces the window and Daryl’s back is to it. He sees the moonlight illuminate your face because of it, the glow makes you look enchanting.
He wonders if you would get one— a tattoo, or another one, of this: of the moon; of the night where you showed each other parts of your bodies you wanted to hide, thinking they were flaws; of the night where you accepted each other fully despite it. Where he laughed and felt happy even after he shared something so dark. He almost never laughs or feels happiness in its totality, but with you, he does. It happened right now as he’s looking at you.
You see his face glistening in tandem with the white light that shines on you, it’s darker, but it’s still there. You were wondering the same exact thing.
Your eyes feel heavy now. They slowly flutter shut, but you try to keep them open. You don’t want him to leave. But he sees that your face dozing off, you’re tired, your eyes keep trying to close and close fully. He quietly gets up to go, but you stop him. Holding onto his forearm, sliding down to his hand. “Just stay,” you murmur, “please,” it’s light and dream-like. So he does. He doesn’t want to let go of your hand. He doesn’t want to let go of you.
You both stay at your sides, your intertwined hands at the center. He continues to look at you and you smile softly as your body finally allows your eyes to close shut. You drift swiftly to sleep. And he stays awake for a while longer, fixed on you and your slowing breath until sleep finds him too.
Daryl being right there, and you being right next to him, made everything infinitely better.
Despite it being vague on details, feel free to skip around areas of this one if you are not comfortable with reading about the reader being imprisoned at the Sanctuary.
Trinkets No. 7 & 8: The Second Ribbon and the First Kiss ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ જ⁀➴ -`♥︎´-
Confessions From a Broken Bowman and a Battered Beaut
It had taken a long while for you and Daryl to talk again after you escaped the Sanctuary.
The last time he saw you was through your tears as Negan’s men threw him in a van, your eyes bloodshot, wanting to scream and plead. He felt it was his fault that he didn’t fight harder; he felt that it was his fault that you were in there for so long; felt it was his fault that you were taken there in the first place. He couldn’t save Glenn— a burden he still carried so deeply, even after talking to Maggie— and that led to not being able to save you. He felt like he left you, not knowing you would have been in the same place he was if he didn’t escape before you got there. But what choice did he have? He didn’t know. And he doesn’t even know if it’s a good or bad thing to admit that in a heart beat, he would take another day of torture, of abuse and pain, if it meant he was with you, and you could make it out together. One more day for him would have been worth your days only adding up to one hand if it could. It would have been better than just waiting for you on the other side. Having to hide just so Negan wouldn’t find him and kill him and more of his friends because of it.
And even worse, what if he threatened Daryl with you instead? Especially since you were still there, with him. That’s part of the reason why Daryl wanted to blow up the Sanctuary. It would have just been one side. Just enough to cause the chaos you needed to run away from your captures and back home. You were fast enough, he knows you are, and you must have known all the exits by now. He tried to convince himself of it. Rick told him it was a bad idea, dangerous to do that to the workers, and most importantly to you— it too many what ifs if it didn’t work out— but what else was he supposed to do? He needed you out, and the Saviors to be gone. It felt like the only choice.
But then, Daryl saw your face. You got out, you didn’t need another fire. It must have been their first attack against the Sanctuary that helped.
Your breathing was so heavy when you finally stopped, you were running so fast, there were patches of dirt all over you, sweat dripping from your neck. It must have been fate that he, Tara, Micchone, and Rosita were right there on the other side, ironically trying to go back to the place you just escaped from.
All their guns were pointed in your direction. They heard the gunshots, they heard someone running. They instantly dropped everything when they saw that it was you.
It felt like the world turned in its full rotation in seconds, coming into a halt all in this moment. The woods, the running, the chance encounter— him; it’s like you were brought right back to the start.
He was speechless, stunned in a way he didn’t expect, mouth agape and yours the same. You didn’t know what to say and he didn’t know how to apologize in the way he felt he should, so you both just stood there. Tears started to well in your eyes. All he did in the end was look down.
This exchange of stares happened only in a mere matter of seconds until Rosita brought you in for a hug, cursing leaving even though she knew you didn’t have a choice, being so happy you were back, but for you it felt agonizingly long.
And for Daryl, it all felt endlessly hopeless. The reality that his plan probably could, or most definitely would have killed you sunk in. He was stupid for thinking that it could work. And seeing you in that wife's dress? A black bow tied to the back of your head? It was unbearable. He hates that he found it hard to even look at you.
The two other women welcomed you back, Michonne even looked teary eyed. The sight made some of your own tears fall because of it. She took you by the shoulder and Rosita took your waist, guiding you to the trunk. Tara went back near Daryl, she wanted to ask if their new plan at the Sanctuary was still a go but waited when she noticed Rosita sent a glare Daryl’s way. It honestly did more to Tara than Daryl. He didn’t even bother meeting her face, he was already punching himself for his silence, for his inaction. He just got in the driver’s seat and took off.
After that, you watched him, waiting to see when his eyes would finally meet yours, but he tried to avoid them as much as he could. The only time he spoke to you was to ask if you were okay when Alexandria fell and you were all in the sewers, and when he entrusted you to take care of Judith as he guided everyone to the Hilltop afterwards.
This treatment was excruciating, but you said nothing. You didn’t feel like yelling at him, you just wanted him. And there was no time between when you came back to right now when you could speak alone anyway if you did want to yell. If you asked why he probably would just shoved you off and you’d get more sad and upset than you already were, or maybe you’d pester, demanding some kind of answer and he'd be the one that might yell… no reason to fight in front of people, especially since there are so many other things to worry about.
But you remember when you finally got to the Hilltop, and how you saw the way he embraced Carol almost right after he saw her. You weren’t upset about that specifically. You admired Carol, even if you didn’t get to know her that well yet. You knew they loved each other, you thought they had a beautiful relationship… It wasn’t that. It was the fact that you fought all the way to get back to your family, to him, and it felt like it was all just so he could act like a stranger again. He didn’t even say hello when he saw you, or ask how you got out, or that he missed you. Maybe he didn’t. That was the real reason you said nothing. The thought broke your heart.
You could at least say that Negan talked to you, and didn’t keep all his feelings inside– whether they were real or not, you were only half sure somtimes– but your time at the Sanctuary, becoming a soon-to-be-wife, it was a hardship only you endured. No one would understand the humor of that sick joke, and it especially wasn’t the time nor would it ever be when everyone hated him and wanted to kill him so desperately.
The next day came by, you all prepared for the Saviors to attack at Hilltop. You were on a break, sitting in the cellar. It was dark, but it helped relieve you from the incessant heat that beamed outside.
Daryl was looking for you. This happened to be the third place he went around. He had just spoke to Rick, apologized for their fight. He felt awful that it took until after Carl passed for them to talk about it, and that his passing made Rick start to believe all the killing might be the only option like Daryl believed before. He still wasn’t sure what he felt now. All he knew is he couldn’t let you two go on like this any longer. It was time to talk to you.
As he opened the cellar door he kept it slightly open, letting the light emanate through.
He sits down next to you, bringing his knees up as he usually does. You don’t bother looking at him. Maybe he would just ask you to do him a favor like last time.
There is silence for a moment. He doesn’t know where to begin. All he decides to say is, “You got Judith here safe, I made sure Rick knew. Thank you.”
“You’re the one who led us here.” Your voice says quietly.
“You helped chop a lot of those walkers down in the swap.”
You sigh, not answering him right away. “This isn’t a competition.”
“I know,” he mutters.
Silence is all that hangs in the air again. With each second that passes it makes your throat swell, bubbling up to your tongue and brain as it usually does until you’re trying to hold back tears.
Daryl was feeling similarly. All his words were caught in his throat too, wanting to be said out loud but he can’t, it’s like someone is squeezing and choking him right there. And he can see your teary eyes, it could almost make his eyes match.
He says your name low and slow, “Do you hate me?”
You’re stunned at the thought. Your words are hushed but vehement, “How could you ever think I’d hate you?”
“I left you-”
“You didn’t know.”
“I could’ve fought harder when they put me in that van, you grabbed onto me and I still let them take me—”
You speak in between his words, “Why are you acting like you had a choice?!”
“—I could’ve went back right after they told me that’s where you were. Not leave you! I coulda done that.”
You shake your head, your voice a sharp whisper, “If you tried either of those things you would have been dead. Everything would be worse and this probably still would have happened.”
“I could’ve done something,” is all he repeats. Quietness fills the space again. You’re never going to agree on this. He’s stuck on what happened and you’re upset about what’s happening.
You breathe in shakily. He’s still finding it hard to look and it hurts, it makes you sad and angry.
Your voice becomes stifled, almost weepingly as you ask, “Daryl… Why can’t you even look at me? Why have you barely talked to me since I came back?”
His voice raises strainingly, “Cause I left you.”
Your voice cries as your head shakes again slowly, “You didn’t leave me, they took me. You left me now.” That makes him turn. You see his eyes, they’re puffed and the whites of his eyes are a faint red, and yours are still watery. “It’s not your fault.”
The backs of your fingertips brush against his cheek, feeling the bristles of his beard and you go down further, continuing to shake your head sadly, moving back to your face to wipe your own tears.
“Did they put you in that cell? Take your stuff?”
“Only the first time I came there. And then the two other times I tried to escape. After that I was sent to sleep with the other girls.” Your voice is quiet, “I don’t think it was the same for me like it was for you.”
“Did he,” he almost can't say it, “Did he hurt you?”
You knew what he meant. All you could do was shake your head slowly, it was a gesture of no.
He nods, his mouth fixed. Some relief is finally released from that, but this doesn’t change anything. They still took you away, they probably put you in a cell, they don’t deserve mercy. He wants to tell you that you all are still going to kill Negan and how he still plans on killing Dwight, but he holds his tongue. This wasn’t what being with you was about right now. His mind races with plans, just thinking of how to get close to them, how to commit the final act, until you speak, reading is mind again.
“I-” you stutter ashamedly, “I think- I know that my time in there has changed me and maybe I see things differently or know more than I used to but… it doesn’t change that I’m with you. I never let that go.” You whimper, “It just hurt when you didn’t say anything to me. Like you were disgusted by me.” You can’t help the string of sobs that come out.
“No,” Daryl holds your face close to his. The bottom of his palm reaching your neck, his fingertips extending over your cheeks, his thumb caressing over the area under and behind your ears. “I fucked up. I was going to try to blow up a part of the Sanctuary… even before I knew you got out… If you got hurt that would have been my fault. That would have been on me. I’d never see you again- Would’ve hated myself.” His voice hitches, it’s rasp so coarse and grating.
You hug him instantly. Your hands go under his arms and one of his goes in your hair, holding your head so tightly as it presses into his shoulder. He cries, “I’m sorry.”
“Stop” You breathe him in, “It’s okay.”
“It aint.”
“It doesn’t matter now.“ You wait a moment, telling him quietly into his neck, “I only want to be with you.”
“And what if it goes bad? What if I hurt you again?”
“We’re going to hurt each other, Daryl. What matters is we try and we stay. That’s it.”
He faces you now. His nose brushes against yours, your foreheads connect, it makes your eyes flutter shut. Your tears are drying the longer he holds you like that and everything feels so warm. Your heart, your brain, your cheeks and his fingertips against them. It makes you feel it again, that fearlessness— you kiss him. Gently touching his jaw, your chin moves upwards, your mouths opens, your lips twist so softly with his, you already can’t breathe, and then you let go.
As he looks at your face, he smiles, realizing he’s seeing the girl he used to know again. His sunshine girl with the stars in her eyes. They’re shining up, still half sad and glossy, but the bright lights are slowly coming back on. His dream is back. She’s real. You’re real. You’re trying, you’re staying, so will he.
He takes your neck and kisses you this time. His tongue slips in, you’re so surprised, you gasp into his mouth. It makes you both smile into the kiss. You come closer and he helps you into his lap, allowing you to lean in. His hands go to your waist and yours to his shoulders. Then one of his hands runs up to your hair and your opposite hand does the same to him. You want to touch each other everywhere now.
Then he feels the ribbon, the black one. It makes him stop.
You’re worried, “What happened?”
He holds the piece of hair that the ribbon is secured to, it’s only a little part, the rest of your hair is down, and he undoes the bow, discarding it to the ground. Your hair falls messily over your ears and down your neck. “You don’t need that anymore.”
Daryl pushes your hips and you sit on the floor again. He’s reaching in his pocket, and you can’t believe it, it’s another one. A dark ruby, maybe a silky burgundy one it was in color— it was another ribbon.
“How long have you had that?”
“Since I found the other one.” He shrugs, “I thought the first one was better.” This one had fraying on one end, unraveling just a bit.
You would have said that you could sew it later, but you didn’t, you said only what mattered: “It’s perfect.”
Daryl doesn’t argue. This is him trying, he takes the win.
He doesn’t know how to put it nicely in your hair, how you do it with the different styles, so he just wraps all of your hair in a ponytail, just like last time, tying it into a bow.
It feels like a gift, not just because he gave it to you and not because it looks like a decoration on top of one, but it is all of it— this moment, the conversation— it all feels like breathing new life into something you worried might be slowly withering and dying. You exhale, it felt so nice to feel him so close, to feel his fingers run through your hair, to feel his breath on your skin.
“Think maybe this suits you better now,” he says, and maybe it always has.
He leans back against the wall and you lay your head and back in the crux of his knees and chest. You look up into his eyes and he does the same right down at you. There was more work to be done, more fighting to endure, but for now, you lay there as if you were the only two in the world. In a moment of sweet understanding; in a moment of love. You could finally admit it to yourself now, you were absolutely and monumentally in love.
… I could go on forever ♡ perhaps this can be a mini-series where I post one when I think of another and you can feel free to request a trinket you think Daryl would give the reader and I’ll post it and respond or even write a blurb for it and add it to the list if it’s a good fit! Thank you for reading. ⋆。°✩
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luimagines · 11 months ago
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And a follow-up request: reader is the one being turned into a kid and they latch onto one of the links?
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Sure thing! I hope this one comes out cuter than the others XD
Masterlist
Part one will include Warrior, Hyrule and Time.
Content under the cut!
Warrior
"Hello Mr. Soldier Man!" You grin at him. You've clearly just lost your two front teeth as you salute him incorrectly.
Warrior's face softens but he returns your salute half heartedly. "Well hello there. You seem like respectable young citizen."
You giggle at his words and brighten. "Can you tell my Papa that? He says that I'm a menance."
You're clearly unbothered by this. There seems to be a little joke hidden in there- one that you wouldn't be aware that others aren't in on. Warrior snorts and ruffles your hair. "Sure thing. I'll let him know."
He's willing to bet your father is right though, if you're older self is any indication of how you were as a child.
"Any luck with undoing that magic attack, Traveler?" Warrior asks over his shoulder. You've taken to admiring his scarf in the meantime, playing with the edges and embroidery near the ends of it.
Hyrule looks distraught and tired. "I can undo most of it, but at best we're going to have to wait it out until they turn to normal."
Warrior frowns. He's never been fond of children on the battlefield- but the last one he took under his wing could defend himself, you're nowhere near fit for battle. "This complicates some things."
"Do you know where my papa is?" You ask, tugging on his scarf to get his attention. "I have to be home before sundown."
Warrior sighs and kneels to your level. "I don't know where your papa is. But maybe we can find him together, yeah?"
You still look unbothered by this. If fact, you smile wider. "I think I'll marry you when I grow up."
Warrior explodes into a blush. Some of the other boys start laughing but you said it so confidently. You nod, as if he's already agreed and take his hand, swinging it between you both. "Mama would like you too. I'll get big and strong and then we can get married."
Warrior tries to bite back his smile. You're very sweet- but how on earth does he handle this? "Maybe sweetheart. You've got a lot of growing to do before that happens."
Time snickers and Warrior has half the mind to glare at the older man. "What?"
Time shrugs, not answering him. There's a knowing glint in his eye. Warrior would pursue it if you weren't holding onto him.
You're humming a little tune to yourself, still swinging his hand gently. "Are we going to look now, Mr. Soldier Man?"
Warrior presses his lips into a thin line and look down at you. He smiles his most charming smile to you and he sees you soften once more. "You can call me Link, sweetheart."
"Link." You echo his name and a burst of pride puffs his chest up. You nod again and look forward. "I like that name."
"I like it too." Warrior sticks his tongue out at the others. It's childish but he thinks he's allowed it just this once.
Good thing he told you first. The others are stuck with their less than stellar nicknames. He can take solace in that until you grow up again.
Then he'll have to ask about that marriage thing. He has questions.
Hyrule
Hyrule laughed as you hung onto his wrist. He was trying to figure out the manner of the magic that affected you but you wouldn't sit still long enough for him to get a hold on it.
It would have been more frustrating as it was, but you were so cute and enthralled by his glowing hands that he couldn't find it in himself to even remotely be mad.
"Do it again! Do it again!" You cried, tugging his hand down to your eye level, watching with a wide smile.
Hyrule lets out a small breath and calls up a smaller version of his Life Spell. He doesn't want to use anything else just in case it might hurt you in the short term, even though he really has a mission to get to at the moment.
"How's it coming along Traveler?" Sky asked, looking over his shoulder.
"What do you think?" Hyrule looks back at him over your giggles. You've put your hand in his palm, feeling the smaller effects of the magic creep along your fingers.
Sky snorts. "At least you got them to calm down. We're lucky you're their favorite."
Hyrule sighs. He knows Sky has a point. When you were fist hit by that spell, you were so confused and lost that you broke down crying. You wouldn't listen to anyone and you wouldn't leave the area even though there were still many monsters around that haven't been dealt with.
Hyrule panicked and shot his thunder spell at the many monsters in front of you. You shut up instantly and clung to him like a life line. You've stuck to his hip since and have asked him everything you could think of about his magic.
He's thankful and admittedly touched by your innocent curiosity even if you won't let him continue his job.
"Were you always able to do this?" You whisper. He's not sure if it's because the magic has calmed you down where you think you need to whisper, or if it's because you think he's keeping it a secret. Either way, he finds his heart melting a little bit more as the seconds pass.
"I've been able to do it for as long as I can remember." He says in an equally soft voice. "I've had a few teachers but I've had to most of it on my own."
You make a face and Hyrule isn't sure how to interpret it. Suddenly, you smile. "So you're super strong, right?"
Hyrule snorts. "I'm not the strongest guy here."
"Lies!" Legend calls out from somewhere to the side. Hyrule wasn't even aware there were other listeners to this conversation. "He's just being modest."
"Modest..." You tilt your head. Hyrule sighs again. It's clear you don't know what that means.
"It means-"
"That he could probably rival the princess herself if they weren't such good friends." Legend continues/ Hyrule sends him a look.
"Not helping."
"But I'm right."
"No, you're not."
You laugh quietly, even though you move to hide behind Hyrule as Legend comes closer. The Vet sees this and backs up slightly. "Listen, he's awesome but he doesn't want to admit it."
Hyrule rolls his eyes. "Whatever."
You tug on his sleeve and he looks to you once more. "Can you do anything else?"
Hyrule bites his lip, keeping back his grin as much as he can. "Sure thing."
Time
Time watched at you fluttered around the group, laughing and seemingly unaware of what's happened.
His heart is in his stomach. He thinks he might be sick.
You were fine until you got hit with that spell. Granted, he supposes you're still fine but you've been turned into a child. You don't know what's going on or who any of them are.
The boys were quick to distract you and play a game to ease your tensions and panic.
Time on the other hand, kept spiraling.
He was trying to think about ways to change you back or to avenge you if this was permanent.
Suddenly your laughter stops, but he's too stuck in his own head to think much about it. He looks over sure, but it was no more than a passing glance as he tried to think about what this meant for you and the traveling plans and the battles-
"Excuse me, mister." A small voice tugs on his sleeve.
He looks down to you in shock, having been shaken from his thoughts. And aren't you precious? Wide eyed, still innocent and soft. You look concerned though with a small frown on your lips.
Time kneels by your side, meeting you at your level. "Yes? What is it?"
"What happened to your eye?" You point to your own, mirroring the side with his scar.
Time has to think fast. He's not sure that the truth is appropriate for someone your current age. "I got hurt a long time ago. This is just what happened."
You frown further and lean up, taking his face with your much smaller hand. You look at his eyes with such concentration for a young face. Time is almost amused.
You pout suddenly. "Did your mommy not kiss it better?"
Time has to bite his lip. Cute. "No, honey. My mama wasn't there when it happened."
You hum, not satisfied with that answer. Without warning to lean forward and kiss his eye gently. Time freezes. You pull back and stare at his eyes again, once again not satisfied with the results.
"...It didn't get better." You look upset with the beginnings of tears in your eyes.
Time stammers to try and avoid any tears. "It was already better." He explains gently. "This is the best it can be. But thank you... That was very kind."
You don't happy and kiss it again. "Maybe it needs more kisses."
Time sighs and shakes his head, smiling sadly. "I think it's a little too late for kisses to fix it."
"...Really?"
"Really really." Time kisses your hand in thanks. "I appreciate the attempt though."
Part 2
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twost3ps · 6 months ago
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I have not been doing so hot. I keep on saying that but burnout is actually crazy double comboed with artblock. But after some tears of frustration I wanted to show my swap au so yeyey
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Short synopsis:
Lilith, Lucifur, Charlie 🔄 Adam, Micheal, Emily
Micheal and Adam fall after taking the forbidden fruit (it is a pear!) Rule over hell together and then have 7 children- Cain, Abel, Seth, Alclima, Awan and Emily. Hell does its own exterminations every year. Micheal and Adam lead along side with their children who participate as well. Up above Charlie watches in dispair. Her father has told her about the horrors of hell and its deranged rulers. She's the angel of Mercy (maybe I might change that) and wants the sinners of hell to have a second chance. So she goes down to hell without asking and tries to find a way to help save some of the sinners from suffering. In that time she makes friends with Hell's royal family starting with Emily and then comes to realize that heaven is a little (a lot) more corrupted than she thought
So here are some of their busts. I drew emily young bcz this was initially going to be a family portrait but I got lazy but for the au she's her canon age her horns are covered by her hair o3o
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So heres a long but not full backstory and info of the au if ur interested under the cut:
Idk why yet why Micheal tempted Adam with the pear but it happened. Because of their betrayal, Adam and Micheal get sent down. But while Lilith is stripped of her fertility, Adam has his humanity stripped. When Micheal recovers, he's greeted with his lover in the form of a wild beast, body stretched, covered in feathers. The only human-ish thing is Adam's face which is essentially looks like a porcelain mask of his face with his eyes closed in a permeant smile unless he opens it and then the mask splits in two.
It takes days for Micheal to calm down the animalistic Adam. It just seems like everything about him is gone. Micheal still loves him, though, so he stays. Adam thrashes around, he screams, and he yells. The abyss is nothing but rubble as Adam digs wildly while screaming. Adam is too hostile for Micheal to comfort so he deals with just watching from afar.
As years roll by as Micheal watches his lover, Adam begins to calm down. He's grown tired and his animalistic rage has subsided. Micheal is able to pet Adam and he can see how tured Adam is. They begin sleeping together again.
All seems hopeless that Adam will ever gain any semblance of his humanity. That is until the first sinner arrives.
Micheal had seen the sinner from afar. He was going to approach, but then he heard Adam. Adam barreled at the sinner and before Micheal knew it, Adam had eaten the sinner with a vile crunch.
Micheal rushed to Adam to see the damage. Then Adam moved and turned. It was then that Adam had spoken properly since the fall. He asked Micheal what happened but Micheal could only stare and cry. They were able to talk for a while and they savored every bit of it.
That joy only lasted for a few hours before Adam became animalistic again.
From then on, Micheal made it his mission to gather as many sinners and feed them to Adam.
Initially it hurt. It hurt a lot. And after doing it for so long, Micheal knew that the sinners would never reform. But that harsh reality paled in comparison to Adam finally having his concise again. Being able to finally talk to his lover and husband was more than enough reason for him.
So time flies and hell is getting bigger and stronger. The population of sinners is also getting bigger. There becomes less spawn killing of sinners but they are kinda checked over like livestock to the royal family.
Hell in this universe is more fairy tale based to differ from whats supposed be a circus theme??? that i get from hazbin. Thats what people say so I'm making my hell the brothers grim x into the woods x shrek.
I want the royal family in fairy tale clothes okay >:(
Hell is essentially far far away land except everything is out to get you. The place is straight up inhabitable as everyone who spawns in ends up having to run away immediately. It's so hard not to die or get hurt. The terrane is unforgiving, the trees are out to get you, the flowers are out to get you, the animals are out to get you, the weather is out to get you, the water thats not whatever is out to get you. Any wrong slip and you can just die again. Sinners are a lot more prone to betrayal and rage because living is just so hard.
There is no pentagram city, its like, a couple of very small town that are ruled by overolords. Overlords are people who just got lucky or got into a contract with one of the royal children. They use their power to stay alive and have some semblance of stability but they are given power to they raise other sinners like cattle through contracts if needed.
These overlords though are pretty... yeah... so they kinda become like those fairy tale villains.
So for funzies, all those fairy tales that people hear on earth are true stories that come from hell that had been told by demons who escape to the mortal realm and whisper them in writers ears as they sleep or some bs like that sdfoeufb
But as stated, exterminations do happen. Like cattle, it is important to save up the stock. You cant consume everything as they come, cattle needs its time to grow. So every year, they let the population grow and on extermination day, Micheal and Adam ride out into hell as they purge a bunch of sinners till Adam eats enough to revert back to human form till the next ectermination.
It's only them that exterminate and collect till their children grow up and join them in the exterminations- fueled by their want to keep Adam humanly conscious. They collect the bodies and then Adam feeds on them after hours to gain his humanity back
Micheal and Adam have their children- Cain, Abel, Seth, Alclima, Awan and Emily
Cain, Seth, Alclima, and Awan become the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse (i went with the good omens version with death, famine, war and pestilence- conquest is not one -yet- )
Cain (death) in very short is like Death in puss and boots with a lot less chill. He does have Death's sickles (I wanted to make them Abel's horns so thats a maybe) He's a mama's (adam) boy and a giant brat
Seth (Famine) Chillest of the siblings. He's a lot like Adam, just not as brash. He spreads famine through locusts that emerge from his cloak. They look like pretty jewels until they fly off. Food rots in his presence during exterminations. He hates when he accidentally activates it when hes eating (he loves snacking)
Alclima (War) She's very tough and brutish. Very honest in her opinions and not afraid to speak about it. Her and Cain play fight a lot. The exorcist army exists but they live as the royal family's castle's soldiers and they are commanded by Alclima. During exterminations, she is the one to lead them in battle. Her presence gives people the rage of war.
Awan (Pestilence) Very eerie girl/ Shes got that dead eye look sometimes and just stares at people. Shes actually very kind and soothing. She's very girly and has a room similar to stockings from paswg. Shes a stem girlie
Abel kind of overlooks them as the representation of chaos. (I wanted the death and chaos are the children of the devil thing to happen so this it) The first attempted murder does happen between Abel and Cain, but since they're in hell magic sooo hahah blam Cain allows his body to merge with Abel out of regret and so Abel kind lives in his conscience but can also switch control over his brother (idk im so done)
Emily is supposed to become a fifth horseman as the representation of conquest. But she young and stuff and only just became an adult so she still maneuvering through it- also sera's here too and she takes the place of Alastor and is a royal advisor to the family sufoauebfoebos
They are all part lion coming from Micheal but their horns are from Adam
Their children are very mixed about exterminations, but Emily has the most issues with it. The family in general feels bad, but family over the people. Emily is just way more emotional about it, especially since she is yet to participate.
Exterminations are very mixed in hell with the citizens because while some have the will to live, some want to truly end their suffering. Many willingly sacrifice themselves and go under contracts with overlords. With overlords, they get to live comfortably as they possibly can but they still hate hell so when exterminations roll around they willingly die.
This is a lot but its not everything. Actually this is all very vauge rn but idk if I want to work on this :p
THIS IS SUCH A MESSKJFBIABFIAEGFIAUEGIdfi
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Also a bit of the beast adam deisgn. I want to add some more stuff. do some tweaking but AUAGSDD yuppers i will change some stuff about him later (i forgot his horns)
i dont think i'll do much with this au after this -maybe draw it but i won't write- but it was a fun thought
I'll try to post tomorrow some guitarhero stuff but im so dead IAFBISUEBFGI
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jd-loves-fiction · 6 months ago
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𝐎𝐩𝐢𝐚
n. the ambiguous intensity of looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable—their pupils glittering, bottomless and opaque—as if you were peering through a hole in the door of a house, able to tell that there’s someone standing there, but unable to tell if you’re looking in or looking out.
✦ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Sir Gawain x GN!Reader
✦ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: smut + fluff
✦ 𝐰𝐜: 2.2k
✦ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: Minors DO NOT INTERACT thanks. also DONT USE SALIVA AS LUBE THIS IS THE MIDDLE AGES WAAAAHH
✦ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Anyway I havent written anything in a hot second, especially smut, so i might've lost my touch but this man makes me insane. Hope its still enjoyable anyway and im working on some fluffy stuff as well whoop enjoy :)
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Stupid quest. Stupid forest. Stupid rainwater puddle.
You didn't see it – you were too damn busy staring into those gorgeous brown eyes of his, lashes lowered ever so slightly in a way so tender it might as well have been what knocked you over.
“Oh goodness.” Sir Gawain exhales a second after the splash, arms reaching for you a little too late. Turns out he’d been lost staring at you as well. “A-Are you alright? Are you hurt?”
“I–” You start to deny it but think better of it. It’s Gawain, he’d know the answer just from looking at you. “I’m cold. And wet. And tired.”
“I see. Let’s find ourselves a place for the night, yes? The storm from last night might be coming back.” He tells you, reaching out a large hand to pull you up. You take it without hesitation.
Quickly finding yourselves a damp and dingy little cave to pass the night in, Gawain gets to work starting a fire as you shiver uncontrollably. 
“You know–” He begins, fumbling with two rocks and a handful of dryish branches, looking up at you for a moment, “You look good, all soaking wet.”
The warmth of his gaze sweeps over your form, lingering on your shaking shoulders, passing by the water dripping off your linen shirt and how your arms curl around yourself to keep the heat in – heat he stokes with that cheeky look, the quickness of his breath, the biting of his lovely, soft, bottom lip…
A spark goes off, catching fire to the branches, cutting the tension like a hot knife over butter. But it does not dissipate, the fire does not cool, it merely wanes to a simmer.
“I bet you’d look even better.” You blurt out, just to get the last word in before sitting by the flames, not entirely aware of what you’ve just said and where his beautiful, hasty mind would take your words. Then again, you’re much more concerned with not freezing to death.
“Trying to warm up with wet clothes isn’t going to do you any good. It isn't going to do anything at all, really.”
“What do you suggest, then?” You sigh, knees tucked to your chest, sitting opposite the dashing young knight.
“You should take off whatever clothes are wet and let them dry by the fire.” He begins shrugging off his thick wooly cape to lay on the stone floor beside him, “And sit close to me – we can share body heat.” he adds on quickly, as if he hasn't made his intentions with you clear enough throughout this journey already.
You’re not sure when it started, when his dark eyes began wandering, when his touches started lingering, or even when you started doing the same. But it’s clear to the two of you; the want– the need too transparent to hide. 
There’s more to it though, for you at least. It would be almost too easy to dive into him otherwise. Like a nymph’s bewitching calls into murky waters.
But it could never be that easy. Not with the one they may one day call King. That and his womanizinging reputation.
Expecting anything other than a purely lustful encounter out of this would be foolish to say the least, but perhaps you are a fool. Because the way he looks at you; the way he has been looking at you since– whenever you started noticing; makes you feel as if there might be a chance. 
So you do as he suggests, stripping down to the basics under his unwavering gaze, shuffling over to his side and nuzzling against him.
Questions swirl endlessly within your mind while leaning on Gawain's warm body, his shirt so thin you could almost perfectly imagine what he'd look like without it in your mind's eye.
But then, those eyes, clear as spring water in their intentions, cage you in with their stare and suddenly you feel as if everything must be laid out plainly, “What are your intentions with me, Sir Gawain?”
The look on his face nearly makes you regret it, fearing you may have offended him, but surely he’s aware of his reputation – surely he must understand.
After a beat he exhales with a slight smile as his large hand comes around to your shoulder, “Are they not clear?”
“Clear as they may be, I like things to be absolutely transparent, especially when it comes to men of your… caliber.” He hums in acknowledgement with a smirk, before it slowly slides off his face, replaced with a thoughtful expression so rarely seen it could be possession.
“I understand what you mean, love. But, in truth, I cannot answer you as of yet.” At the inquisitive look you give him he begins trying to explain himself, “It is that… Well, I am to be King somewhat soon, I assume. So it would be reckless for me to act as carelessly as I once did. But then also, I do not yet know what my intentions are – beyond tonight, that is.” Your face warms slightly at his suggestive tone as his hand drifts down your naked back, “All I know, is that you intrigue me. Greatly. If anything, I know– I feel as if… once will not be enough…”
A dark hand of long, slender fingers lifts your chin to meet his fathomless stare, looking deep into your eyes and beyond that – to your vulnerable soul. 
“I feel… the same.” You speak, suddenly breathless as your face nears his subconsciously, giving in to his siren call.
Lips meeting like a spark to a fire, a beginning. His hands wander over you, reverent, gentle, as yours grasp at the front of his tunic, urging him as close as humanly possible – as if close isn't nearly close enough.
The kiss grows fiercer, a push and pull of soft pink muscles attempting to gain control, before being forced to part, open around heaving breaths while eyes grow hazy with lust– no, yearning. Gawain draws back to shed that bothersome tunic before his hands attach themselves to your hips to pull you onto his lap. The ease with which he does it has you grinding down instantly, hands running over sweat-slick caramel skin.
His dark curls bounce as he tosses his head back under your movements, desperate for some control of the primal urges suddenly overloading his brain – to fuck you without mercy, to ruin you for anyone else – but no, that’s not how he wants this to go.
“God above, you're beautiful.” He breathes, hands stilling your hips to let his eyes sweep over your features slowly. The intensity of his gaze makes you squirm and the strength in his hands warms your inside more than the fire ever could. 
Burying your face in his gorgeous, exposed neck you speak so low not even God could hear, “Shut up and take your pants off.”
You feel him smile against your hair, laying a kiss against it before drawing away to do as you ask, somewhat clumsily, but earnestly all the same. Sitting still on his cloak, you watch him avidly, eyes catching on every new inch of dawn-hued skin revealed.
The singularity of the moment strikes you suddenly; back at the castle, amongst duties and expectations, this would never be possible – this calm, this undemanding rhythm. You have no place to be, no one to meet, so you can just be. Together.
“Where did you go?” He whispers, caressing your face with a softness undeserving of a knight’s strength, making your eyes focus back on his features and immediately surge forward to connect your lips to his, “Nowhere important.”
Gentle as a breeze Gawain lays you back, body between your legs and arms beside your shoulders. His prominent nose brushes yours softly, sensually as he parts your legs even further, “Good. I want you here with me. For this will not be a moment you’ll want to ever forget.”
“Oh,” You chuckle teasingly, back arching almost subconsciously against his warm, wide chest while his hips start moving against yours, “You’re sure of that, are you?”
“Your reaction tells me all I need to be sure.” He replies, so cocksure you’re suddenly reminded of who he’d been before the Green Knight had showed up proposing a ridiculous game – knowing he hasn't changed completely is oddly comforting.
“You talk too much… Sir.” You grumble in lieu of remaining silent and further inflating his ego, getting a raised brow at the tacked-on title.
“But you like it, don't you? Don't lie to me, it's unbecoming.” The corners of his lovely lips twitching with the effort not to laugh. Quick as a flash, your legs lock around his waist, pulling his center down to yours and he’s forced to take a breath from between his teeth as his long lashes flutter, “Like I said; you talk too much.”
Gawain bites his tongue – there will be plenty of time to get back at you once you’re mindless and thoroughly spent – he reasons. For now, he just needs to get you there.
One large hand settles at the base of your throat as his luscious lips travel down your neck in flickers of contact that have you arching against his firm grip for more. Soft as a feather, he pulls away your undergarments as needed to kiss at your chest; sweetly at first and then so wet and sloppy you’re left gasping and whimpering, hands grasping at his strong shoulders for purchase.
Grabbing you below the knees, he gently pries your legs open while kissing down your body until you're tingling and trembling all over wishing he'd just get to it.
“Gawain…”
“Hmm? Are you going to beg? Go on.”
You pout petulantly; no you won't beg, he'd enjoy that far too much. But you can, however, tempt him into doing what you want.
“Gawain…” you moan seemingly helplessly, nails brushing his skin making him shiver in delight, “won't you take me? It's clear you want to.”
“It's clear, is it?” He chuckles breathlessly, ceasing completely to just watch you and it makes you want to smack the back of his head in frustration.
Breathing deep, your eyes move over him carefully, appreciating every inch of delicious, exposed skin so many yearn to catch a glimpse of before…
“Gawain,” you raise an amused brow, surely he noticed… “Yes?”
Oh, he's far too good at playing dumb.
You raise yourself until your lips barely brush his, brown hues watching you closely down the length of his nose before your hand boldly presses down on his stiff cock and those eyes glaze over before rolling back in overwhelming delight, “I'd call this pretty obvious.”
Hand squeezing in pulses, you're granted a low groan followed by a deep sigh, “God, you're too much. I cannot– wait.”
Gawain's mouth devours yours, hungry as a wolf, pushing down once more while his lithe fingers graze the inside of your thighs, grinning at what he finds. Cheeks warming at how your mouth chases his as he pulls back, he gives his palm a full lick before wrapping it around his throbbing cock and stroking. The flames illuminate this length of his gorgeous neck like an old painting and your tongue longs to glide over it and follow the path of his sweat so deeply you almost miss him speaking, “Will you beg now?”
You groan most crudely, far over his games and his perfect face and his disarming voice and his damned haughtiness– your hand grasps the curls at the back of his head, delighting in his whimpered response, “Take me now or so help me–,” your not proud of the way your voice wavers but you’re both past that now.
Gawain’s lips connect with yours surprisingly softly, leaning his forehead against yours and lining himself up with your center, “Shh, I’ve got you, just relax.”
A kiss to your hairline is the only warning you get before he starts pushing into you, slow as can be and yet still you cry out at the feeling in between the kisses he places to your lips to offer some comfort.
“There we go, breathe for me. It’ll feel better soon…”
“Gawain…” You moan, clinging onto him as the bite of initial pain melts into pleasure.
Sucking on your neck, his hips sway against yours rhythmically, wavering only when your nails dig into his sides while moaning desperately in his ear, “Gawain please…”
“Now–” his breathing stutters while his hips buck suddenly, pressing a collection of whispered curses from both of your mouths, “Now you beg?”
“Just please fuck me, please.”
The way his cock twitches inside you tells all you need to know on how he feels about your words.
Curls brush the side of your neck as he reaches to bite at your lobe, grunting and moaning into it while speeding up his hips so much your own moans become stuttered and desperate.
As the end nears, Gawain presses his lips to yours, nearly missing in his eagerness, and opens his mouth as if to say something but no words leave him, only a loud moan of your name ringing across the cave just as your body does the same.
Your mind is eerily quiet as you come down, blinking eyes you don't recall closing and feeling the next king breathe against your naked chest while gathering himself. After a moment he raises himself on shaky arms to gaze down at you, hand reaching to brush a stray hair from your cheek and sighing as if suddenly, all is right in the world.
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undertheorangetree · 1 year ago
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Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Warnings: MDNI 18+ NSFW. Female reader. Possessive/jealous sex. Against a wall lmao. Vaginal fingering. Mild exhibitionism. Reader is purposely riling him up. He calls her a whore but in a fun way.
Author’s Note: You can find the full fic on AO3 the link is below plz feel free to let me know what you think :))
The queen had spared no expense on her son’s nameday, that much is clear the moment she walks into the hall. Perhaps Prince Aegon had been involved in his own party planning as well, as there are flagons upon flagons of wine, ale, cider, and even a few vials of absinthe lining the walls of the great hall alongside all the mountains of food. It is the first party that she has experienced since marrying Prince Aemond six moons passed and she doubts she will ever see anything so extravagant ever again. She does not think even her wedding compared to this, with all the finery and gold and jewels that seem to be everywhere her turns.
She too had done her best to dress up for the occasion. She had been gifted a beautiful Lysene gown two moons ago, a pretty blue thing made of silk and chiffon, full of layers and very low cut. It showed off far more of her breast than she is used to and is too thin to wear a shift beneath. She had been unsure about it at first but now that she stood amongst all the lords and ladies of the court, she feels as though she fits right in. And besides, she has other plans for this gown besides simple fashion.
Her husband has been ignoring her. She does not know if he truly noticed it himself, but she had seen little and less of him these past few weeks. Running countless errands with the excuse of duty, squeezing in training and dragonriding whenever he is given space enough to breath. She thinks she has only really seen him when he collapses in their bed at night, pressing a tired kiss to her cheek before falling asleep just as his head hits the pillow. There has been no time allotted for her and though she does not blame him for it- she had noticed rather quickly that he has a tendency to be very one track minded- she will not allow for it to stand any longer.
So she had decided to wear her new blue dress to show him just what he has been missing out on. To remind him that his wife is young and beautiful and here and needed more from him than a half mumbled goodnight.
And, much to her delight, he seems to notice immediately. She watches elated as his eye widens almost comically at her approach, roving over her as if he can’t quite believe that she’s real. It is not difficult to ignore him as he has her, instead making her way to stand before Aegon. She wishes him a happy nameday, endures the drunken, lazy smile he gives her as he assures her it is a very happy day indeed, before skirting around the table to sit by Aemond’s side. She does not deign to look at him, staring straight ahead at the crowd before them, and lets out a heavy sigh. His eye had been boring into the side of her face but it darts down then, watches as her breasts rise and fall with her breath, and she suppresses the urge to look too smug.
Aemond has always been good at keeping himself composed and so she expected him to have more resolve, to sit and stare for only the Gods know how long while he quietly seethed. So she is almost surprised when she feels his hand close around the back of her chair, leaning in close only a few moments after she has sat down.
“What are you wearing?” he manages to ask, grit out between clenched teeth.
She smiles, doing what she can to seem oblivious as she turns to look at him, head tilted. “Do you like it? I wasn’t sure which one to wear but my maid and I narrowed it down to this and the purple dress from Qarth. Do you remember it? Should I have worn that one instead?”
The question is rhetorical, as he knows very well which dress she is talking about. An ambassador from the Free Cities had arrived with a whole host of gifts for the royal family, including two massive crates filled with dresses for herself and Helaena. The pretty Lysene dress she wore now had been among them, along with gowns from Bravvos, Meereen, Essos, and the like. She had forced Aemond to sit and watch as she tried them all on, the latest fashions from all over the eastern world. The purple Qartheen dress had been particularly memorable to him as there was only enough fabric in the bodice to cover one breast, the other bared entirely. He had deemed the show over at that point and had fucked her against the wall to show his appreciation for the gown.
She bites her lip to suppress a grin when his face flushes red at the memory, his knuckles gone white around the knife’s handle in his hand. She swears she can hear the wood creak under his grip on her seat as well and doesn’t think she would be surprised if it cracked under his hand.
Her head cocks in the opposite direction as she hums, wordless encouragement to answer her previous question, but she isn’t entirely sure he is listening to her anymore. His eye has darted down again, tracing along the lines of her gown and she indulges him, pushing her chest out a little farther. It is almost funny, how she has reduced him to this. He almost reminds her of Aegon in this moment, a comparison she knows he would loathe. And though it is unkind and she knows that she should keep her torture confined to this alone, she want to see how far she can push him. It has been weeks-three, to be exact- since they had an intimate moment alone together and her patience for abstinence has worn thin. If this is her moment to ensure that her husband’s attention is on her entirely, then she is going to leap at it.
She does not have to wait long for her first opportunity to present itself. Lord Erwin Lannister, some second or third cousin off the main branch of the family tree, has come forward to offer good tidings and the moment he is done with Aegon, he sets his sights on her. Despite the fact that Aemond is practically limp across her lap, little Lord Lannister approaches with his head held high, offering them both a polite bow. The way he takes in her gown, however, is anything but polite, eyes hungry as he stares.
“My lady, it would be an honour to have your first dance of the evening, if you would indulge me.”
Aemond’s mouth twists immediately. “I would think that honour should go to the lady’s husband, should it not?”
The confidence Lord Erwin had arrived with falters at her husband’s tone, but she is not about to allow this opportunity to pass her by. Not without putting up some kind of fight.
“But you’ve been so busy, my love,” she laments, pressing a loving hand to his chest. “You should rest. I’m sure my Lord Lannister would be more than happy to dance with me, would you not, my lord?”
“Of course, my lady,” Lord Erwin agrees, likely far faster than he should have.
She graces the young lord with a smile before turning to press a kiss to Aemond’s cheek. She flits away quickly, standing and joining Lord Erwin on the floor. It takes everything in her not to look back at him, not to revel in the way he is surely seething at the loss of her attention.
Luck continues to be on her side, as the dance the musicians are playing requires her to stand quite close to Lord Erwin. The dance is one she knows well, so she does not need to think as she follows the steps. Instead, she dares to glance toward Aemond as she dances around the young lord, hardly paying him any mind as she watches her husband. She does not think Lord Erwin minds, as he is staring at her chest so single mindedly she does not think he would hear her should she speak to him. Aemond’s gaze is even more intense. His eye is trained on her as if he cannot bare to turn away, his mouth twisted and face drawn in a way she can’t quite describe. She recognizes the rage in his eye when it shifts from her to Lord Erwin, face hardening further, and she turns to face her partner.
“Are you enjoying the fete, my lord?” She asks, keeping her voice low so that there is no risk of Aemond hearing.
Despite his initial confidence, he looks almost shocked that she is speaking to him now and has to take a moment before responding, likely trying to decipher what it is she has just said. “Yes, my lady. Are you?”
She presses a little closer to him as the dance requires, eyes darting up to catch sight of Aemond and his clenched jaw before she turns back to the young lord and smiles. “Oh, yes. I am enjoying it immensely.”
She dances four more dances with separate partners before Lord Erwin returns, his confidence returning now that he believes Aemond will not be storming in to throw him aside. And Aemond does not turn away from her the entire time, his eye boring into her so fiercely she thinks it would cause anyone else to shy away. But not her. Instead, it takes everything in her to keep her smirk at bay, chest light as pride bursts through her.
“If I may be so bold, my lady, you look particularly beautiful this evening. Is this a new dress?” Lord Erwin asks, eyes once again locked on her chest.
“It is, my lord. Thank you. It is my husband’s favourite, I think.”
Though Lord Erwin opens his mouth to respond, a voice cuts him off before he can, a rough hand clasping around her elbow. “We’re going to retire for the evening.”
Lord Erwin is forgotten immediately as she turns toward her husband, smiling politely. “We have barely been here an hour, husband. Surely it is poor manners to leave so soon.”
“We’re leaving,” he repeats, much more stern this time.
Read the rest here :)
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tremendum · 2 years ago
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pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, use of she/her)   rating: explicit.  (18+. mdni.)   word count: 7.5k summary: but at the timbre of your voice, a cold shiver runs down his spine. his eyes widen in acceptance. there must have been some sort of- poison, or aphrodisiac in that damn plant that you'd both been struck with.  warnings: SMUT. dubcon (sex pollen), age gap (not specified), use of the word ‘girl’, friends(ish) to lovers, canon-typical mentions of violence, needles/getting pricked by a plant, descriptions of canon-typical injuries, unprotected PiV sex, kinda rough, creampie, light cumplay, oral (f and m recieving), a fair amount of begging, dacryphilia, size kink, overstimulation, voyeur Joel if you squint just for a sec, facefucking, mutual masturbation, multiple orgasms, some spanking, choking, reader gets slapped on the cheek like once, dom!joel miller, spit kink, fingering, dirty talk/slight degradation if you squint, light praise, this is just basically porn with no plot, they’ve got feelings for each other but they’re in denial, ellie is in this in the beginning but doesn’t hear them thank GOD,  notes: this is my first work for Joel and though I never finished the first game, the release of the TV series inspired me bc i am a SLU T for pedro lmao. this is terribly unedited because I just forgot i took edibles after i smoked and cranked this out in an hour and a half so sorry if it’s choppy or a bit ooc for joel. ALSO IF IM MISSING WARNINGS PLS MESSAGE ME 
★  
"whose brilliant idea was this?"
you say it from behind Joel, the echo of your boots splashing through the tunnel as you look around you, your eyes sneaking to observe the width of his shoulders, the stretch of his shirt over the muscles. 
Joel can't stop the twist of his lips as he grumbles back at you, "yours." he mutters, rolling his eyes. 
his flashlight cuts through the darkness in front of you two, scaling over the walls that grow slimy with repeated dew and rainwater, algae sprawling over the pipes and reaching its fingers down towards your shoes. he doesn't like being down here, it's too quiet, damp, dark. perfect for cordyceps to grow. 
you let out a soft, amused hum at his words that coaxes a bubble of irritation through Joel - you'd always been stubborn, from the day he'd first laid eyes on you; a young thing at the time, baring teeth you thought were sharp but really just looked like a little doe snapping its jaw at him. 
it's been long enough with you around now that Joel knows you better than he's willing to admit, and maybe also knows himself than he would ever say out loud - because you're still that stubborn fireball of a woman and he's still the tired old man who you find amusing to tease. and he likes it, deep deep down. 
"yeah, maybe just letting it go was the better option." you muse from behind him, voice still somehow dripping like honey though the sloshing of the sewer provided nothing but unpleasantries for the group of you. he turns to spare a glare at you; you were already smirking at him. setting him up, then lying in wait. 
a damn minx. 
he sighs, looking away: sure, he wants you, of course he does - you were spry, beautiful, intelligent, and resourceful. but you were stubborn, and butted heads with him more than rams did in mating season. still, there'd been too many lingering glances, suggestive phrases, and gentle caresses for it to be a coincidence. he could tell that when you watched him split wood or help teach you to shoot a gun that you were probably soaked through your panties, and that made him hard as a rock when he allowed himself to think about it once in a blue moon. 
 but that doesn't matter, because in a world that wasn't like this one - without the danger, pain, the necessities to survive - a girl like you would never bat a fucking eye at a man like him. 
and he's got more important things to think about than how tight you'd feel around his cock, how well you'd take his orders with his hand around your throat. 
but your words not only fall to his ears - from where Ellie hangs upside down from the storm drain, she snorts, "you spent that whole time back there arguing with him just to decide he was right?" she boasts. at this, you grab her arm, pretending to pull her down from above your head and into the storm drain with you and Joel. a splashing noise and a squeal echoes through the tunnel as your boots slosh; Joel turns back with irritation, about to snap at the two to keep quiet. 
but you're grinning, eyes reaching his from where you stand, covered in storm drain water. Ellie's flipped upside-down, hanging from the ceiling with a grin of amusement, her arm slack in your grip. 
your shirt is wet, slick against your plush skin around your stomach and breasts, your hair stuck to your cheeks and forehead and neck. slowly, you bend down to pick the axe out of the murky water, a satisfied sigh leaving your lips as you shake the water from its hilt. he has to tear his eyes away from the flash of the lacy underwear that peeks from the waistline of your jeans. 
Joel's breathing is almost stutters - you’re a goddamn sight right now, and if the tightening in Joel's jeans meant anything, it's that he needed to look away. 
"it doesn't matter. you got your axe, now we need to get out of here." he mutters, tired of letting you convince him to do asinine decisions like try and crawl into a storm drain to fetch the axe you'd accidentally dropped. your lips pull into a tight line and he ignores the twist of fire in his stomach at your gaze, the smirk as you try to conceal your laughter. it just irritates him even more. 
he watches with sharp eyes as Ellie starts to pull you up and out of the drain; he's trained with a flashlight and his rifle pointed towards the depths beyond you, into the unknown area of the drain. your head is almost out of his sight when it happens: you twitch suddenly and let out a yelp, "fuck!" you hiss. Joel's rushing towards you, calling your name. 
you groan, pulling yourself up with the aid of Ellie as you mutter, "'m fine Joel, something stung me." 
stung you?  he looks around, flashlight searching the area for any animal or insect or other threat - nothing. but when you're clear of the drain, obscured by the dilapidated road above his head, Joel hears Ellie let out an interested but disgusted noise. his gun goes first, then the flashlight. he pulls himself up and as he nearly breaches the light of the Earth, a sharp sting attaches to his thigh, coaxing a grunt of shock from his lips as he pulls himself fully out. 
you're laying, soaked on the hot pavement, Ellie staring at you with wide eyes as you inspect your calf. there's a barb on it with spikes that look almost like a cactus of sorts, bright purple and speckled with yellow. Joel doesn't have to look down to see his own thigh impaled with the spokes of the same plant. he tilts his head back, hand scrubbing his face with a deep sigh. damn it. 
"what is that?" Ellie asks, eyes wide as Joel quickly pulls out the plant from his flesh with the flannel he'd tied around his pack. "don't!" he chastises as your bare hands move towards the spoked on your calf, and your eyes soon shoot up to him. "did y'touch a plant down there? or anything?" he asks, trying to ensure this wasn't anything toxic or lethal, or god forbid, a mutation of the cordyceps. 
but if it had been, there'd have been signs of it. pulsing, infecteds even - but this was a plant Joel has never seen before.
"obviously" you grunt, shooting him a glare, "I wouldn't fucking touch something growing if I didn't know it was safe." you snark. he knows you hate it when he treats you like a child - you've said as much to him before, and loudly - but he can't help the protectiveness he feels for you. your skin is covered in a sheen of sweat, "but it shot out barbs towards me. I wasn't even close to it, you saw me." you defend. 
Joel's throat clenches, his chest swimming with a warm feeling as the tingling sensation on his thigh lingers far after he'd pulled the barb from his jeans. he needed to get that thing out of you, too. you watch him as he pulls it out of your leg swiftly, Ellie sitting back on her haunches as she watches. 
"we should clean these out." Joel decides, standing up and grabbing his gun and discarded flashlight, sending a glare down to the axe that sits glinting in the sun. just what he needs, another thorn in his side. literally. 
--
the walk back to the house was much less exciting for you as it had been before the little romp with Joel in the sewer. the sun is hot beating down on your backs, and your dampness just exacerbates the mustiness of the storm drain's water soaking into your skin.
 your calf is starting to vibrate, almost - although your heart twists with worry, you eye Joel's back and he seems fairly normal. so, you keep going, ignoring the heat that starts to consume you. your head aches by the time you round your last corner to get back.
Ellie's in her own world, kicking a rock as the house nears your sights: you'd landed here early this morning, some people who knew Joel before had lived here: they were gone now. 
but it had beds, water that could be heated, and a collection of weapons and supplies stocked higher than your head. 
so as you settle your things into the living room, you smile, digging into your pack to fish out the scraps of soap you'd saved, enough for several washes each of you were liberal with it. "so, who gets it first?" you say with a grin, unable to contain the excitement in your voice at the prospect of getting clean. Ellie jumps up, grinning with glee. 
"dibs on going last!" she whistles, pulling a dry stare from both Joel and you. she shrugs, "what, don't want to be yelled at for takin' my time." she grumbles, flopping down on the couch, sofa releasing a plume of dust. 
you lift a brow, "there's a second tub down here, isn't there?" you ask. Joel nods, eyes flickering to Ellie, "then you can take the tub down here. but only use a bit of hot water." he chides. 
she rolls her eyes as he points a stern finger her way, swiping a piece of the soap you'd held out to her as she hauls her bag behind her, "relax, old man." she mutters, shaking her head as she disappears, "I'll let it run cold before I get out." 
your eyes fall on to Joel, who sighs, nodding to the upstairs bathroom. "you go." he says dismissively. you chew on your lip, trying to figure a way out of taking the first bath: you needed to inspect this sting first. "no, i can wait. 's fine." you shrug, the feverish heat on your body not helping yourself to focus. 
his hands run to the back of his neck, massaging a spot; your eyes are glued to the muscles that ripple from the movement, the long fingers thick and rough from a lifetime of hard work. you shudder, arousal pooling at the apex of your thighs easily. you swallow, embarrassed - why were you having such an odd reaction to this plant? it was making you feel fuzzy, feverish; the only thing you can focus on is Joel. 
he shakes his head, "nonsense. ladies first." he insists, not meeting your eyes. you feel yourself clench around nothing at his words, his abnormal attempt at chivalry - you laugh a bit. he glares at you, but there's no heat. 
"since when have you been one for chivalry, Joel?" you ask, shaking your head with a smirk. it's sweet, because despite the horror of reality, there were still times when that charming Southern Man that Joel probably once was peeks through the cold, hard exterior. 
rare but not unheard of were the times he'd hold a door open, or say ma'am - but it seems that all that remains of his past is that damn smooth accent and the broken watch he keeps on his wrist at all times. 
he rolls his eyes but says nothing. his face looks red, and you almost bring up the pulsing at the site of that plant's needle; instead, you bite your tongue. you need a moment to analyze it, alone - and to get your thoughts straight, to - to not think about him.   
"you can take first, Joel. I prefer my baths lukewarm, anyways." you joke, a fleeting touch on his arm. 
your hand burns when you pull away and his eyes catch yours as if he felt it too. he must decide to not protest anymore as he nearly stumbles his way upstairs, disappearing into the master bathroom, his hands shaky as they take your soap from your grasp on the way. 
--
Joel knew something was wrong immediately. the more he'd stood there, debating with you about who gets to fucking clean themselves first, the more he saw you, in a tub, fingers caressing yourself; the more real it felt, to see you touch your hardened buds, play with your tits, to hear you moan his name gently.
but his body was hot. he felt a fever like nothing he'd ever felt before, his mind going fuzzy as he'd stumbled into the bathroom, scrubbing his whole body from head to toe vigorously, as though whatever was happening would fade away if he'd just get clean. 
the bath couldn't have been longer than seven minutes. 
by the end of it, he was grunting into his shoulder to muffle the noise, his fist squeeing his cock tight as he fucks himself into it, the hot spurs of wanton need curling around his body, choking him. that god damned soap. it smelled like you. 
he'd thrown it across the room, its pieces splintered across the ground as Joel bites back a groan of your name, the images of you, soft hands pumping him, slick mouth opening to take him inside- he cums over his chest in hot spurts, the guilt red and hot across his cheeks as the feeling snaps from his chest. 
but the fever is still there when he blinks away the pleasured cloud of his orgasm. 
and it's still there, burning hot like a snake of revenge in his body when he slams the door open, body still damp and quick to react to the fresh air of the upstairs bedroom. 
he doesn't go back downstairs, not like this. not when the girl is down there, probably still in her own bath; he's still not sure what he's come down with, or if it could spread. 
now, it’s your turn in the bathroom in the master bedroom - he'd beelined it for the office upstairs before calling for you and telling you it was your turn; he knew that something in him would snap if he were to see you while he was in this state. 
but he should've gone back downstairs, because the moment he hears it, it's too late for him. 
you're moaning. 
it's almost clear as day; muffled through doors as you'd shut yourself from the rest of the house in the master bedroom, and Joel can't fucking unhear it. 
he became painfully hard again mere minutes after his first orgasm and has been restraining himself for what can only have been the ten minutes you'd been bathing, but at the timbre of your voice, a cold shiver runs down his spine. 
his eyes widen in acceptance. there must have been some sort of- poison, or aphrodisiac in that damn plant that you'd both been struck with. 
"fuck." he groans, surprised as it comes out much more breathy than intended, his whole body shuddering as his brain gets even more swarmed with thoughts - you, spread for him, or on your knees, or laying on the table, his cock shoved down your throat-
he hits the wall, hard. his fist stings but it's nothing in comparison to the burning need he feels swirling in his gut and his legs carry him until he's knocking on the door to the master bedroom frantically. 
he calls your name, and a weak gasp is the only response. he tries again, and then your muffled voice calls, "fuck, Joel, that plant-" you cut yourself off with what Joel can only imagine is a moan of pain and pleasure. his cock twitches and he thinks he may pass out. staggering over to the bannister, Joel calls out for Ellie. she stomps over to peak her head up towards him expectantly. 
he's shaking, sweat already sheening over his whole body. he's sure he looks like hell as he grips the landing under white knuckles, "Ellie, we're sick." he groans, "stay downstairs." 
she calls back up, joking that she’s going to leave the house; but she doesn't sound sincere. he barely registers her laughter before she shuts the door, closing herself off to explore the downstairs house without Joel or you to protect her. he's momentarily glad she's not suspicious, instead is relieved to have her own time to herself. 
but his cock is so hard he thinks he may pass out again, and he can hear you gasping out his name from behind the door to the bedroom and bathroom. 
the door to the bedroom shuts and echoes through the empty upstairs as he tears through, chest heaving. you're still in the bathroom, gasping as your moans echo through the chamber. 
he calls your name as he slumps against the door frame to the bathroom, the desire coursing through his body as he shakes with the feverous affects from the plant's venom. 
he can't think straight, "I can't come in." he says, shaking his head as his forehead rests against the cool wood. you wail from inside, "Joel, please, I need- I need you, please I need help." you whimper. he can practically see you, the pleading look on your face pathetic as your brows tangle together, eyes shut in frustration. he knows you're touching yourself, and it makes his cock twitch. 
"I can't." he says sternly, knowing that if he is to come through that door, there may be no stopping himself. he can't let that happen, not like this. "I'll- I'll be good, just- I can't, nothing's working." you whimper. 
"not like this, darlin'." he's grunting through his teeth, but he feels so much desire that it's painful, like he'll die. anger courses through his chest as you let out a drawn out moan, low and full of need even through the wall that separates you. 
"fuck you." you groan, "I hate you, Joel, never let me fuckin' have anything," your voice is strangled, a shuddering moan leaving your lips that sends jolts of electricity throughout his entire being. his hand finds his aching cock, slowly trying to relieve the painful desire that shoots through him with need. 
he glares through the wall, "yeah, well, fuck you too." he spits back, anger coursing through him at your bratty exclaim of irritation for him - the one who kept you safe, who let you do what you wanted - who followed you into goddamn sewer drains to find the shit that you’d lost. 
"walking around, flaunting that fuckin' ass at me." his words fall from his lips before he can stop himself, the desire and haze pulling it out of him as he twists his wrist around himself. "do you know what you do to me?" he nearly growls, "every time you open that mouth it's some shit. always gotta have somethin' to say to me, huh? make me wanna shut you up." 
your moan is nearly a sob this time; it's raw, full of desire, and Joel could just about cum from that noise alone. his neck heats up with the knowledge that his words pushed you even further; he always knew you'd be a dirty little thing. 
but he nearly falls over as the door to the bathroom rips open, catching himself with one arm on the doorframe, his cock still in his fist. his eyes find you on the ground, fully naked, on your goddamn hands and knees for him.  
his eyes nearly roll to the back of his head when you gasp, "Joel, we need to-" you swallow as though you were salivating at the sight of him above you, cock angry and flushed, "you have to fuck me, now." 
he stares down at you, his whole entire body tremoring at the sight of you; your bare chest, nipples peaked at you suck in breaths, face flushed with desire and sweat, your own legs shaking terribly. your hands are glistening with your own juices. he lets out a moan. 
"please," you try to get his attention again, squirming as though you're in just as much pain as he is, "please, just use me, I don't care, I want to taste you." 
he shakes his head, "we-we aren't thinking straight... can't do this." he gasps, even his own words starting to sound absurd to himself. you shake your head actual tears welling up in your eyes, "I think about this all the time, Joel-" you moan, your hand slipping between your legs, the wet sounds sending streaks of desire through his body. “it’s not just the fucking plant, Joel, I need you.” you hum. his wrist hasn't stopped moving, he realizes, chasing that sweet fucking high as you stare at his cock with a wide, hungry glance, begging him to fuck you. he wonders if he’s just dreaming again.  
"you know that I want this." you gasp out, tears nearly slipping from your lashline, "don't you?" 
does he? how could you dare to ask that? 
he groans, nodding, "shit, baby, shut the fuck up." 
"you're a fucking asshole, Joel." you whine, "it hurts." you mutter, biting your lip with a ghost of a smile. that makes him snap. it hurts, and you're fucking enjoying it? 
he grabs you roughly. the minute his skin touches yours it burns deliciously; he can't believe he had the control to not touch you this whole time. his moan is tandem with yours as his fingers thread through your hair, intending on lifting you to take you to the bed; your hands grip his thighs, though, and soon your hot, wet mouth finds the angry head of his cock. 
you take him about halfway before you gag slightly and he slams his hand hard on the wall just above you; your eyes are fluttered shut, a tear squeezing out as your throat opens for him. he groans at the pleasure that courses through him, reaches his fingers, the nape of his neck. you're pulling on him desperately, and it makes him smirk down at you. 
"what, you wan' me to fuck that pretty little mouth?" he mutters, heart thundering in his chest as his fingers shake with desire. you pull off him, gasping slightly for breath, your finger still touching yourself as you nod, a string of spit still connecting him to your lips, "yes." you say with a nod, falling back against the wall as he crowds over you. 
he's not patient, not right now. he knows he could fuck your mouth until he was shooting his seed down your throat and you'd sit through it all with that pretty hair and grin and hell, you’d probably even thank him afterwards; but he doesn't have the time for that. he needs to be deep inside you, needs to be drowning in your cunt, needs to fuck you down into the mattress so hard you scream. 
and you're desperate, clearly: you're two fingers deep, fucking yourself on your fingers as another tear trails down your cheek, breathless as you shift in near pain from need. he resists the urge to coo down at you, his thumb still swiping the tear from your cheek before he grabs you again, this time pulling you up and tugging you onto the bed. 
you let out a moan of his name, your face flush with arousal as you spread your thighs open for him, watching with a pained expression as he pulls off his shirt and jeans, discarding his boxers as he goes. your eyes rake over him and you whimper, still not touching him until he gives you permission.
 it makes him smirk, "for such a brat it's a wonder you're so obedient like this." he mutters, pulling your legs further open as he quickly stands with his legs against the edge of the bed, running his cock against your soaked, velvety cunt. 
you whimper, jolting in pleasure as his head catches your sensitive, neglected nub and he smears his precum there, enthralled in the shapes your nails carve into his biceps as you gasp. 
he can't pull his eyes away from your glistening center - how many times had you cum before he'd heard you? he swallows, the flames licking his belly as he pushes his head against your tight hole. 
he grunts, you were so goddamn tight; your eyes widen as you try to move your hips, try to slide yourself onto his cock, but he stops you with a rough hand around your shoulder, pinning you down. "stop." he orders, leaning so he can spit down, the slick trailing down to settle right onto where his cock nestles against your entrance. you let out a strangled gasp at his actions, throat dry from your noises. 
he doesn't give you time to beg, though, as he's slowly easing himself into you; you let out a yelp at the feeling, loud enough that Joel's hand clamps over your lips roughly, his breath hitting your face, "shut your damn mouth, girl." 
you feel like you're splitting open as he inches in and it's barely just his head but you have never felt such excruciating bliss as now, your breath falling from your nostrils harshly as he eases himself into you. 
you wonder how much he is restraining against just fucking hard into you - but you're tight after the orgasms you'd given yourself in the bath trying to satiate the feelings you'd figured out were from that fucking plant venom. 
you don't even know if he'll fit all the way into you as he inches slowly in, taking a few grunting breaths before fully sheathing himself inside your hot pussy. you clamp around him, feeling full as he bites his lip, chest heaving, slick with sweat. his hand, still clamped over your mouth, tightens against you as he slowly starts to thrust; he reaches a part so deep in you that you nearly scream. 
he's hitting your spot nearly immediately as he starts to quicken his pace, hips hitting against yours deeply. you moan his name, "Joel, fuck, 's so fucking deep." you gasp it, unable to think of anything but chasing the high that's been building since the second the plant's venom entered your system. 
he doesn't seem to like when you start to move your hips, chasing his when he pulls away; his hand comes to your cheek in a quick smack, grabbing your attention immediately. you can't prevent the moan at the sensation, nor the way you clench tight around his cock. 
the moan he lets out is half-way between your name and fuck, as he slides into you deeper, hand wrapped around your cheeks, training your eyes on his. there's a glint of something animal in his eyes: you're sure he sees the same thing in you, the venom of that plant coursing through the two of you, nearly palpable in the air of skin slapping skin. 
your cunt flutters at the eye contact, the desire bringing you closer to the edge; his hands shoot to your shins, pulling them up to his chest and then he leans forward with a deep thrust, coaxing tears of pleasure from your eyes. "that's it, take it." he grunts into your hear, hips punctuating each thrust as his tip nudges that spongy spot inside you that curls your toes. 
then one hand catches yours as you fist the sheets; he pulls your arm roughly down towards where he enters you as he bites the lobe of your ear. "you're going to cum." he tells you breathlessly, directing your hand towards your clit, pressing the pads of your fingers against it. you yelp in pleasure, more tears squeezing from ecstasy as you nod against his forehead, "yes, fuck, I'm gonna-gonna cum." 
"that's right." he's deeper, "cum for me." he nearly whispers it, almost desperate. it's just what you need to push you over the edge: his hips angling in a way that has hot, searing pleasure coursing through you. you nearly go blind when you cum with a gasp of his name. his hips don't even stutter as he fucks you through your orgasm, the relief washing over you in waves of pleasure. you can't open your eyes, your chest heaving, arms locked on his biceps, hips quivering with the intensity of the feeling. 
he keeps the roll of his hips as he slides easily through your ruined pussy, his brows pinched in pleasure. 
"y'feel so good," you nearly go limp, your fourth orgasm drawn out by the touch of the man you couldn't ever stop thinking about. he's so deep inside you, you're surprised you can't feel him in your throat as he thrusts. "pretty girl," he mutters, pinching one of your nipples and sending shockwaves through you; the relief you'd felt from your orgasm, just like the previous ones, is soon washed away by the newly replaced desire, back again and somehow even more hungry. 
you nearly cry at the thought, but something in you still yearns for it and you allow your ankles to cross around his hips. "never wanna leave this cunt." he mutters against your collarbone. you flutter again at his words, arousal slicking you, him, the sheets below you; the squelch of your juices fill the room as he chases his own high. 
a particularly loud cry of pleasure lands you with his hand yet again over your mouth, but this time, you waste no time in pulling his fingers to your lips, sucking two of them in eagerly as your hand tries to wrap around his thick wrist. 
his eyes meet yours and his jaw clenches as his hips stutter, nearing his own high. his fingers work quick; thrusting into your mouth, slick with your spit, gagging you as he bottoms out particularly roughly. your nails scrape down his back and you'd be more shocked if there weren't marks later. 
a few more thrusts and you can tell he's close, so you pull his fingers out of your mouth to gasp, "please, cum in me, Joel," you whimper into his neck, biting down hard as he groans your name. his hand suddenly clasps around your throat, pushing you down against the mattress as he fucks into you deep, his eyes screwed shut, "don' say shit like that to me, darlin'."
but his thrusts are getting sloppier as you squeeze around him, luring him in, the intoxicating scent of soap and him and his musk surrounding your head. "please, I'll do anything." you whine, hand crawling up his neck to cradle his jaw. his dark eyes meet yours and he moans at how earnest you look, his hand tightening his grip around your throat and squeezing slightly, your airway constricted for a slight moment, causing you to gasp for air when he leans back. 
your desire has you cloudily begging, pulling at his hair, his arms, his back, keeping him in, and finally he growls, "shut up." he snaps, "'m gonna cum in you, and you better be fuckin' good." he barely looks at you as he lightly slaps one of your tits, grabbing the other and pinching your hardened nipple as he watches your whole body bounce from the force of his thrusts. "god, you feel so good." he mutters to himself. you preen at the praise, your own high creeping near. 
your lips are clamped shut, his hand holding your head down from your throat as you nearly scream, his thrusts slowing and sloppy. he lets out a delicious moan as he hits his high. "that's right, take me." he mutters, his chest shaking as he cums; he's moaning loud as he thrusts one last time, his seed coating your walls. 
"fuck." he eases, his thumb falling to soothe over your hairline gently as he releases into you. "so good for me, aren't you?" 
you swallow, the burning fire of desire still smoldering in your core, your tear trails long since dried, your body exhausted but full of energy. you nod, unable to trust your words. 
he pumps into you slowly once more before pulling all the way out, the noise of your slick and his cum slippery as you feel empty without him filling you. 
but he's already distracted, his eyes hazy as he watches a bit of his cum spill from your weeping hole, his thumb dropping to slide it back up and into you, pressing against your entrance, your breath catching. 
"is it- is it gone for you?" he asks, his voice strained. you don't need to look down to see that the venom hasn't yet run its course through his system yet; his eyes are still alight with the same animalistic desire that you feel pounding in your heart. your feverish sweating, the headache - most of it's gone, replaced with an intense, destructive desire that has you keening into his hand as it cups your used pussy, his eyes teasing. 
"no," you moan, "you?" 
he's already dropping to his knees as he breathes out, "no."  
your eyes widen. in your haze, you're searching for any relief for this growing arousal, the feelings you have for Joel driving you to beg endlessly for him, yet you hadn't expected him to do this. immediately, his hands wrap around your shaking thighs, his breath hitting your bare, throbbing pussy. you can't even think as you card your fingers back through his hair, hips jerking up away from his face as he licks a small stripe over her swollen clit. 
you're so worked up that you can't help the tightening coil as he soon dives his tongue into you, cleaning up the mess you'd made between your thighs, swirling around your clit. 
you tug hard at his hair's roots, hard enough he's sending a groan into you that reverberates through you, vibrating your chest as you clamp one hand over your lips.
fiery pleasure snakes through your body, your ankles falling over his shoulder onto his back as he eats you out like a staved man. you see his arm moving through your clouded vision and you let out a pathetic whimper as you realize the wet noises aren't just from his mouth on you: he's fucking his fist. his movements make your legs shake hard, eyes rolling back as he sucks lightly before releasing to swirl his tongue.
“Joel,” you mutter, his name the only thing that can come out of your mouth as you can’t help but grind down slightly. Joel's hands are hard on your hips; you know tomorrow as you pull on your jeans, you'll have ten fingerprints marked into you.
 it sends a delicious swirl of pride through you as he moans into you, "you taste so good, darlin'.” he mutters lowly before slowly reattaching himself to your heat. your eyes roll back again as one of his hands reaches up to grasp your tit, thumb and finger pinching and rolling as he fucks his tongue into you. one of his hands snakes up to your ass, gripping it tightly and then slapping it, the stinging pleasure making you buck your hips against him.
“Joel, i-” you cut yourself off with a sharp gasp, the overstimulating pressure making it increasingly harder to speak. your toes curl and  head tilts back as his teeth graze over your clit, your thighs clenching shut as your orgasm nears violently quick. 
"you gonna cum again?" he mutters, barely breaking away from you, his own hand moving fast as he fucks his fist; you yearn to feel him in your mouth, to taste him. “please, please.” you mutter, your hips rocking on him as his tongue swirls, nipping softly at your clit and making you cry out. “please, make me cum, Joel.” you plead, tugging his head closer, his hand slapping your ass again.
and then you're clenching your thighs on either side of him and grinding down as you hit your peak, shaking in pleasure. you grind yourself onto his tongue as he drinks you in, cleaning you of every last drop, his thumb soothing over your hip. he rides you through your high, lapping at you and only pulling away when you go lax on the mattress, legs twitching, gasps ragged and scarce. 
you'd have probably passed out right then and there if it hadn't been for his own strangled grunt, your eyes snapping back to him, to where his hand wraps around his own dick, slick with your cum and his own spit. 
"Joel," you mumble, cheeks feeling hot as your mind starts to lift, desire yet again pooling between your thighs as you slide down, off the bed until your back hits it, hands caressing over his thighs, "let me taste you." you ask, cheek hot as it lays on his thigh, your eyes begging up at him.
he moans deeply as one had slides behind your neck, steadying you as his other grips himself, "stick out your tongue." his pupils are blown so wide you can only see black. you follow his order, sticking out your tongue as you eagerly lean towards his cock, his brows furrowing as he slaps your tongue with himself. 
his hands tug you towards him, your lips tugging over him as you take him into your mouth, trying your best to look up at him. you gag around him as he thrusts his hips forward, your hands flying up to grip his thighs. "fuck, look at you," he moans, his grip tight against your head, slowly starting to fuck your throat, your eyes tearing up. "so eager for me, bet you'd let me fuck you anywhere, hm?" 
your face heats up as you hum, unable to say anything as he slides into you, tip pushing against your throat, your eyes rolling back. "yeah, you would. i know you think about it, darlin'. think about it all the time." 
you should be embarrassed to learn that Joel had, under more sober circumstances, noticed how you acted around him. but instead you let the trail of spit slide down your chin and onto your bare breasts, your fingers pushing it over your hardened nipples as he pulls off your mouth. 
you gasp for air, looking up at him with wet eyes. "get on the bed." he orders and you scramble with weak legs onto the mattress, staring at him, the familiarly torturous desire in you throbbing. his hands push you around until you're on your elbows and knees, his hand swatting your ass. "gonna cum on that pretty ass." he mutters, hand grabbing a handful of the plush skin as he spreads you open, "okay?" 
"yes, yes, please." you mutter, face sweaty and stuck with your wet hair as he leans down, spitting onto your glistening, puffy cunt. you're nearly sobbing into the sheets as he slides into your wet, warm hole, his groans just as wrecked as you. 
"jesus christ, girl." he mutters to himself as he starts to thrust into you, the new angle setting your whole body alight with the coiled pleasure. it builds fast until you feel like you're on fire, his hands rough against your hips, swatting your ass every time your hips pulled away from the overstimulation. 
"you need to come." his breath is hot as it hits your cheek, his chest pressing to your back. he's deep into you, tip hitting your sweet spot with every rolling thrust of his hips. then slipping one hand onto the back of your neck, the other snaking to toy with your sensitive clit. 
your legs nearly give out as your back arches, the orgasm crashing over you before you can even register it. 
you can't see, blind with the bliss of pleasure; your thighs shake as he mutters dirty words into your ear, Joel's hips stuttering as you clamp and flutter around him, slickening yourself and his pubic hair, skin wet with your arousal. you're so sensitive you can't do anything but take his cock as he fucks you, deeper and slower as though he's coming down with the mind fog just as you. 
when he hits his own mind-numbing orgasm, he's pulling out of you fast and finishing in hot spurts onto your ass, streaking up your lower back and sliding down into your quivering core. 
your name is the only thing on his lips as he slowly slumps down onto the mattress next to you. 
you both wait; it's silent besides your sniffling from the overstimulation and the soreness of your throat and Joel's labored breaths. you both wait to see if that torturous feeling comes back to your groins, suffocating and clouding your judgement. 
but instead, the fog clears, and within five minutes of silence and stoicism, you're sure that whatever the venom was, it'd passed through your system. "Joel?" you whisper it, cracking slightly. you hear his head shift; he'd not looked at you at all. you're not sure you blame him, embarrassment creeping through your face. but not regret. definitely not regret. 
he whispers your name back, and there's a vulnerability in it that has your eyes snapping to his, searching for the dilation of his pupils, any sign to show the venom was still in his system. you can't find any. "do you- is it gone? for you?" 
he blinks at you once before nodding his head, "yes. n'you?" you nod at him, muttering a small, "yeah." 
he knows he should go get a cloth to clean you up. he'd possibly have to help you up, help you dress... his throat dries as his now less foggy brain recovers the memories of moments ago; the size of your pupils blown out with lust. he looks over you; he'd ruined you. 
another wave of self-doubt runs through him; you were not like him, you weren't bad like him. you deserve better. 
but the way you stare at him now, as though you want nothing more than to do what you'd both just done every day with him... 
he opens an arm, accepting you as you slide your limp, exhausted body against his own naked form, his arm squeezing you to his chest as he sighs deeply. you nuzzle your face into his neck, your own heart racing just as fast as his. 
he feels like a damn fool - it'd been far too long for him, he's not sure how to approach these feelings he harbors for you, so he'd hidden them down with anger and irritation and eye rolls; but now he's gone and fucked you like you were just some other whore. 
his lips press to your forehead. he doesn't think he can say anything, not right now. he still feels like he's got a fever, and by the looks of you, you feel it too. 
so he hopes the kiss he tenderly lays on your hairline says what he can't: he's sorry he was rough with you. he hopes you're okay. he hopes you don't regret it. he hopes you know... he hopes you know it wasn't just about that damn plant’s venom. 
he pulls away from you after just a moment, rising to tug on his boxers. but as he crosses the threshold into the bathroom to gather a washcloth for you, your soft voice stops him. 
"Joel." you mutter, eyes nervous, exhausted. he stops, looking at you.
you're just as nervous as he looks; you're unsure how to interact with him now, the man you trust with your life, the one who acts like he hates you, the one you know probably loves you; and then you'd fucked him like he was just a dick, though you wish you could tell him: he's so much to you.
"that wasn't-" you're unsure how to convey it, "it wasn't just about the-whatever that plant was. I don't regret it. and I hope you don't either." you're glad it sounds as genuine as you feel when you say it. you want him to know he didn't hurt you. and you hope you didn't hurt him. 
his face flashes with relief, with adoration. "I don't." he says, turning from you quickly. 
and if his lips ghost over your knees and leave goosebumps on their wake, if his hands soothe gently over every budding bruise of his handprint on your hip; you don't mention it now.
if he gently and devotedly wipes you both clean, if your hands fold together as he settles back down against you, if your hearts beat together as you settle into the fever nap that claims you both; you just smile gently at his bashful grin.
and if your lips brush against each other just before the sleep takes you both; well, then you'll talk about it all later. 
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everytimewetouch-dot-mp3 · 28 days ago
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more [svsss] [omegaverse au] because i can’t stop
content warning for some sex pests buzzing around a 7-year-old shen yuan, but it gets handled quickly. and violently :)
any text that’s written [like this] will be a link to a related post or explanation from my other blog
when [shen yuan transmigrates]into PIDW, he wakes up on the back of an ox cart beside a few crates and sacks, one arm tied to the side of the cart. he is seven years old, and he’s just had his first [soft heat]. he’s on the cart for two days, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on (and what the fuck a soft heat is??? he really transmigrated into one of those trashy omegaverse novels??? which fucking one?!!), until the driver drops him off at the warm red pavilion. well. that’s one question answered.
he learns from eavesdropping on the cart driver and brothel madam speaking that his parents, beta farmers, arranged for his sale as soon as he started showing preheat symptoms. they had enough beta children to work the farm, apparently, and a little omega would be too much trouble to handle plus another mouth to feed. it’s not uncommon, he learns, for poor families to sell off their omega children, and he’s lucky that his parents cared enough for him to wait until his first soft heat. any place that would buy an omega before that stage, the madam says, is not a good place for a child to wind up.
the madam finally unbinds shen yuan and inspects him. he’s small and thin, but he can read and write and he’s surprisingly good with numbers. he can’t cook and he’s not very good at cleaning, but he shows himself to be polite and curious. and later, after the sale is settled, the other omegas squeal over how cute he is. when he gains a little weight, they insist, he’ll he terribly popular with their clients. the thought makes shen yuan ill.
it turns out to be true, but not in the way that he feared. at least not at first. he’s trained by one of the older omegas, who teaches him how to properly pour tea and serve the guests. he’s so young, all he can really do is speak with them. that’s more than enough though. their clients adore him, speak with him for hours. they treat him like a favored nephew, bringing him sweets and books and toys that he keeps upstairs in the room he shares with the youngest omegas at the brothel—a 16-year-old boy and a 17-year-old girl. they treat him like a little brother.
there is one guest who they hide him from. he isn’t dangerous, gege and jiejie insist, but he’s very prickly and he doesn’t like many people. he only ever shows up at night, and he always asks for the same room and the same three women. they stay in there for a long time, but the cloying scent of sex never hangs in the air when shen yuan passes by. he never sees the man, and gege and jiejie are pleased about that.
very few of the guests shen yuan does see are bold enough to try to push for more intimate interaction with shen yuan. lingering touches, fingers carding through his hair or stroking his ears, hands brazenly reaching for his thighs. every time, shen yuan freezes up. he hates it more than anything, knows all he’d have to do is shove them away or shout, but he can’t. each time one of them gets that possessive look in their eyes, his blood freezes in his veins and bile rises in the back of his throat. they never do more than that, but he feels disgusting every time.
it doesn’t happen often, really, and a part of him feels like he’s overreacting. they’re not doing anything wrong; this is a brothel. that’s what people do at brothels, right? that’s what he’s been telling himself at night as he scrubs away the alphas’ touch each time it happens. nevermind that they only touch him when no one is looking, that they treat him like he’s stupid and tell him it’s their special secret. he was a grownup just a year ago. he knows it’s bullshit, but his body won’t listen when he tells it to make them stop. he’s tired and overwhelmed and sick of feeling helpless like this, and he can already feel his skin stinging from how hard he’ll scrub tonight just to stop feeling so dirty.
so he cries when this alpha rests one hand on the back of his neck and the other on his thigh. he cries when this alpha noses at his hairline, presses a kiss to his forehead. jiejie sees this time, and before shen yuan’s overwhelming shame has time to set in, she’s grabbed the alpha by the hair and started tugging him toward the door, hissing and clawing at his face as she goes. the madam comes out at the commotion and hears one of her omegas shouting about ‘putting your filthy old hands on our a-yuan,’ sees the boy sitting wide-eyed and tear-stained at the table, and her scent turns dark and dangerous. she takes the man outside. she comes back with blood staining her hands.
no one touches him after that. he spends more time in the kitchens, helps with the cooking and the cleaning. the madam has him help with bookkeeping, and the few clients he sees are regulars that he’s told the madam he sort of misses. even then, the visits are supervised by jiejie or gege.
things get better. no one bothers him anymore. he gets fewer presents now, but that’s fine. he doesn’t want them if it means old strangers get to grab at him under the table. for the next two years, things settle into an easy, relaxing calm. if this is the life he’ll be living in airplane shooting toward the sky’s shitty omegaverse novel, it’s not too bad. it’s easy to find places to help, and the weird little pack he’s been adopted into likes him. it could be worse. he could be a cultivator.
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canthavetoomuchchaos · 9 months ago
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Not a bad kid
ANGST ANGST ANGST
Set in teenage years.
Darlin + David
I strongly follow the "Darlin and David are siblings" thingy. This is set when both are around 14 ish.
Tw/Cw: mentions of abuse, fear, injuries, brief mentions of dying,
David and Gabe are sleeping, that is until they both hear frantic knocking at the front door.
David is sound asleep, snoozing away under his blanket, his dad in the next room over doing the same. Both are awoken by fast, frantic, and harsh knocking on their front door. David sits up blearily and walks to his door, waiting for his dad to pass him so he can follow.
"David, don't come down until I know who it is alright?" David nods and waits. Gabe opens the door and immediately a person is falling into him. He grips their shoulders, eyes wide as they are frantically begging for his help. Gabe is quick to shut the door.
"David- come down here, get the first aid kit under the kitchen sink, quickly." He's calm, carefully carrying his young pack member to their living room, setting them gently on the couch, ignoring the thought that their blood and the mud is ruining it. They're still crying, clinging to his shoulders, but they're frantically muttering now. The same thing, over and over and over again.
"I'm sorry- 's not my fault- didn't study hard enough- please, please I didn't mean to." Gabe is mortified. They're like this because of a bad grade on something? Or is he hearing wrong? David returns with the first aid kit.
"David, come sit by their head, keep them awake if they start to fall asleep. They may be concussed." David does as his father requested him and sits by their head. Gabe, very gently, starts to peel away their drenched shirt, pulling it up to get a view of their abdomen. Cuts, bruises and scratches, along with long healed scars are all over their skin. He presses into the biggest wound on their side, steadily oozing blood. He barely hears David gag. As he presses against them they let aout a very sharp yelp, he can hear their wolf slightly come through it. He looks up about to apologize, but they look horrified that they even made the sound in the first place.
"'m sorry- I didn't mean to- I was just- please don't hurt me. I didn't mean to growl-" David takes the liberty of trying to soothe them, doing what his dad does to him when he's sick, running his hands along their scalp. They freeze but withing seconds they are leaning into his gentle hand. Gabe continues his work on their wounds.
About fifteen minutes later Gabe is almost finished when David tenses from his quiet, almost one-sided conversation.
"...Dad...Dad you gotta hear this." His face is sombre for a fourteen year old. Gabe frowns and leans towards them.
"can you say that one more time? You mum ked a little there. " David asks them quietly. They frown and speak, this time slightly louder than before, attempting to help him understand.
"...got a c- on a math test. My parents were.....not pleased to say the least. That's why I'm like this. My....dad...chased me here. I don't know if he's still here or not, I don't think he'll try to come inside though.." they're breathy, and tired, but they enunciate perfectly.
Gabe freezes, his mind reeling, their dad did this to them? This child is beaten bruised and bloody because they got one bad grade? For the first time ever in the history of the Shaw wolf pack, there will now be a banishing of a wolf. This child will stay, they aren't safe at home. This actually helps explain a lot of their behaviors, constantly being quiet, keeping away from the other kids, flinching if Asher is just a little too loud. It all makes sense.
"Kid, I know you live with your dad, is there anyone else there besides you and him?" He's cautious, voice a low, gentle timbre. They shake their head.
"just my stepmom, she eggs him on, doesn't help. wont miss me if I die right here, she hates me anyway" Gabe fails to hide his frustrated expression, glad their stable and their eyes are closed as they relax and relish in the safety of his house.
"I'm glad you came to me, kid. You won't have to go back there ever again. I swear on it." His face is set in a tense but gentle expression. He turns to David.
"take them to the guest bedroom, give them some clothes, they may not fit but work with what you've got please. " David nods and gently helps the young wolf. They both pause as Gabe speaks
"your tough kid. Like a tank, stay that way." They nod and continue their way upstairs with David's assistance.
While they are upstairs Gabe grabs his phone and calls his beta (I can't remember Ashers dad's name if it was ever mentioned so here's a random one) Daniel. He picks up quickly and Gabe explains the situation, Daniel is quick to ask if Gabe needs his help. Gabe denies and asks him to please schedule a formal pack meeting for tomorrow afternoon, all wolves required to attend. There's a small yell from upstairs and he's quickly hanging up.
"David? Everything alright up there?" He's on the bottom steps, carefully making his way up. David pops his head out, a small grimacing smile on his face.
"they shifted, their injuries don't seem to have transferred as harshly but they jumped on the bed and I think it hurt a little. They're fine though. I think." Gabe nods and ruffles David's hair.
"let them rest, you can go to sleep, I'm gonna stay in here with them, the door will stay open all night if you need anything." David nods, a small confused frown on his lips.
"why're you staying with them? They'll be sleeping." Gabe smiles at his young son's confusion.
"because if they have a nightmare or wake up randomly, I want them to know where they are and that they're safe. Now go to sleep." David nods and gives his dad a brief hug, leaving to his own room down the hall.
The next morning Gabe is making breakfast as Tank as he has decided to call them, stumbles into the kitchen. They freeze as they realize he's also in the kitchen. Their eyes widen as their bleary, sleep ridden eyes don't comprehend that they're not home.
"I'm sorry, I woke up late, I'll have breakfast done really quick I promise. You don't have to-" they are cut off by Gabe gently laying a hand on their shoulder.
"hey, it's okay, you're not at home anymore kid. You don't have to do anything right now. Go sit on the couch, watch some TV." They hesitate but listen nonetheless. Gabe sighs and continues to make food, not surprised in the slightest that his son is sleeping in.
Later, as Gabe is getting ready for the pack meeting, both kids come up to him, curious. David is the first to speak up as Tank catches their breath, side sore from their wound.
"where are you going dad?" Gabe looks up from his combat boots, his face set. He's mentally preparing for the meeting.
"Got a meeting, scheduled it last night." The kids frown, confused. David, again, speaks up first.
"..can we go?" Gabe hesitates and looks to Tank.
"...will you be okay? You'll stay by me the whole time." They think for a moment, then nod. They haven't spoken since that morning.
"alright, get your shoes on. Let's go." Both kids scramble for their shoes, trying to get them on as fast as possible.
As they arrive to the Den, Gabe reminds both kids to stay close, this is a serious meeting and there wasn't supposed to be kids in the first place. As they walk in, Tank's parents both rush up, fake relief written across both of their faces. Gabe pushes Tank behind him, standing tall. A harsh glare pointed at them. He makes sure that his eyes say all that need to be said. 'you will not touch this child ever again.'
Gabe guides Tank and David to the front of the room. Reminding David to keep a gentle grip on Tank, as their still slightly hurt. He walks up to his podium, clearing his throat and waiting for silence. As the silence falls his eyes land on Tank's dad, specifically his hands, bruised knuckles, cuts here and there along his arms, and a very painful looking wolf bite on his bicep. Tank sure gave a fight before running. He took a breath and started to speak.
"I'm sorry for calling this meeting on such short notice, but it has come to my attention, that some pack members do not seem to grasp what parenting is meant to look like. [Tank's parents] I have the unfortunate duty of dishonorably banishing you from my pack and any Shaw land or property. I want to make this clear to everyone in this pack, I will tolerate a lot. I will never tolerate abuse of any kind." He turns to Tank and beckons them forward, they stand, walking slowly toward him, their face still badly bruised and the cuts now scabbed.
"this is Tank. Your child. You will no longer be allowed near them, nor will you have custody of them. I will take them as my own. You are never to return here, and if I hear that you have, you will be reported to the department. Thank you, goodbye." He dismissed their parents. The two hesitates, then Tank's father lunged, yelling harsh words and horrible names at them. Gabe shifts, a giant wolf now standing over the fallen child, as he snarls, his beta shifts as well, gently using his snout to push the children away, whilst keeping an eye on his Alpha in case he needs assistance. As the father backs down, backing away, he continues to yell things a child should never have directed at them.
Later when they get back to the Shaw house they are laying on the cold kitchen floor, the chill helping soothe the ache in their side. They have a content smile
Safe.
______
The end was a little rushed but oh well!! Hope you like it!!
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pacifymebby · 10 months ago
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Angels // Bonnie Gold
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Fluff that gets carried away and becomes NSFW by the end / you look after Bonnie after a fight. Vaguely based on the song Angels by the XX
"Y'know little dove I don't think this is what Tommy had in mind when he told you to draw me a bath..." Smirked Bonnie where he stood in the middle of the cool stone floor, watching you through the gathering steam. The deep green tiles on the wall glistened with condensation, your shoulders glistened too, little beads of water scintillating under the low light of the candles you'd lit and placed carefully all around the room.
"If it's not then he very naive..." you replied, your smirk just as soft, as mischievous as his.
If Bonnie had been asked to describe you in that moment, he would have said angelic. In just your faded coral slip, silky and drifting as if caught in a gentle current just above your knees, you looked as though you'd drifted down to him from heaven itself. And Bonnie had taken enough blows to the head that afternoon to believe in those kinds of miracles.
It had been a long fight and in order to try and rake in the most money from takings Tommy had asked Bonnie to prolong the fight until the 10th round. He'd taken more hits than he was used to and you'd been a little shocked to see him up close in the dressing room. When he'd been declared champion in the ring you had of course been able to see the blood smeared over his face, but to see the damage up close had left you shaking. You were certain that your brothers already knew about you and Bonnie's secret affections anyway but if they hadn't, then the way you'd rushed to hold his face so delicately in your hands, the way you'd insisted on cleaning him up yourself - and the way you'd done so with the gentleness of a saint - had to have given you away.
It had to have been obvious how in love with him you were. So you were right in what you'd said to Bonnie.
If Tommy hadn't known exactly what you would do the moment you were left alone with the young fighter, then he was stupid. Simple as that.
Still, whether you were right or wrong that didn't stop Bonnie being a little nervous at the thought of what Tommy would do to him if he ever caught the two of you together.
As you stepped up to him to begin undoing the buttons of his thin linen undershirt which was still stained with blood from the big fight, he found himself grow a little shy. For a second when you looked up at him with your big doe eyes, the picture of innocence as your fingers stepped nimbly, button to button down his chest, he didn't know where to look.
He tried to clear his throat, eyes wandering to study the ceiling but only for a second, unable to resist you for even a moment.
"Somehow I don't think your big brother wants you helping a 'savage' undress dove..." he said cracking a crooked little grin, the whites of his teeth showing as his dimple etched into his cheek. He was laughing at the remark which had been thrown around by more than one man in Charlie's Yard when the Golds had first arrived in small health, but you knew that somewhere beneath his stubborn, self assured surface, Bonnie harboured some doubts about himself when it came to you, the Shelby 'fuckin' princess.
Still, you weren't one to let your lad linger on thoughts like that and so as you slipped one hand beneath the linen of his shirt and smoothed it gently over his bruised chest searching for his heartbeat, you stood on tip toes and cupped his cheek with your other.
"My big brother told me to look after you Mr Gold," you said, your voice a troublemaking whisper as your eyes glowed and locked with his, " so thats just what I'll do and if he don't like it..." you said pausing momentarily when your eyes flickered over his tired cheek bones, your irises reflected in his, caught out for a moment by his rugged brusiy beauty.
"What?" He chuckled, his hand resting on yours as you remained holding his cheek, studying him with the faint flicker of awe in your pupils, "if he don't like it what?"
You closed your eyes and rushed to press your lips firm and lingering against his, catching him by surprise so that he almost stumbled back, his hand catching your shoulder to steady you both as you kissed his lips once and then twice, hesitating as you pulled away only to come straight back for another.
For a second he was so stunned all he could do was stand there gazing back at you, shocked by you moment of smothering affection. But his smile lingered and as he looked at you he found it increasingly difficult to let you finish your sentence.
"If he don't like it," you smirked stroking Bonnie's cheek with your thumb, "well one day this 'savage' is gonna be king of the whole wide fuckin world ain't he... So Tommy'll just have to get used to it." You said with such cheeky defiance, such determined confidence that Bonnie couldn't help but laugh at you and shake his head, grinning as he let his shirt fall from his shoulders and land in a heap at his feet.
"Alright," he said, his voice low and thick with amusement, "you've convinced me little dove but..."
"What?" You asked quietly as he reached out to you, fingers grazing your delicate shoulder, knocking the strap of your dress down so that it fell and revealed your soft skin. Your neck soft with an ethereal sheen left by the steam which had caressed and settled over you like a warm breath. The little heart shaped meeting of your collar bones above your chest, the freckles which scattered your body in all the places the sun had once reached out to touch you.
He was mesmerized by you at the best of times but now... Now when he was so tired, when his body ached from the fight, every muscle craving a little tenderness, now when he'd been waiting to get you alone all day... Now he was utterly convinced that you were a gift sent from god just for him.
"But..." he teased, leaning down to kiss you, letting his lips graze yours as he spoke with that unforgivable smirk, "when he finds out and you wind up in all sorts of trouble," he chuckled, "this savage ain't gonna stick around to save you sweetheart..." he said rolling his eyes when you giggled and shrugged him off, shrugging out of your slip and letting it fall as you dismissed his threat carelessly.
"You don't mean that..." you smiled up at him sweetly, biting back the most angelic of grins when he raised his brow and asked you just what made you so sure of that.
"You're always here to save me..." you said, eyes locking with his, a brief flicker of sincerity that left a small but proud smile on his lips. Your hands resting on his bare chest, your eyes flickering over the damage left by his opponent, a frown etching only to disappear just as quickly when you looked up at him and met him with mischief in your voice, "even when I really deserve it..."
He chuckled and shook his head, caught your shoulder just as you turned to step away so that he could pull you back to him. Bow his head to leave a lingering kiss to your forehead.
"C'mon," you murmured, tilting your head back, your eyes fluttering shut as you let him trail his fingertips down your neck, the steam misting between you like a veil to be brushed aside too.
You stepped into the water first, your fingers grazing Bonnie's palm as he held his hand out to steady you. Tender with you even now when it was supposed to be the other way round.
But you knew your Bonnie in and out and you knew that this was the only way he'd let you take care of him. If you let him pretend it was you who needed to be treated tenderly that evening.
The water was hot and for a moment after stepping in you felt that good sting spread from your ankles to your thighs. Bonnie watched as you lowered yourself beneath the water, watched your naked form dip beneath the surface, concealed from him by the dancing candlelight on the surface. He watched the water lap at your chest as you lowered yourself beneath the hot water to your neck, watched as your skin blushed a tempting shade of pink... And when you opened your legs slowly, your eyes flickering to meet his, your hand closing around his and tugging him closer to the tub well... he wasn't about to try and resist you.
You watched as he used one foot to push down the leg of his trousers, bit back a grin when he had to kick his foot a little to send his boxers on their way, but your smile changed when he returned his focus to you. When his eyes locked with yours, warm and dark and flickering with a tender kind of lust. One which was growing more familiar the longer you spent in the fighters company.
"Hurry up," you said with a childish kind of smile, "you'll get cold..."
"Not likely," he chuckled making some passing comment about you Shelby's and your luxuries. He was often teasing you for the spoils your family enjoyed, the wealth which seemed to leak unignorably from every corner of your lives. How you never showed to one of his fights in anything less than your finery. He was always making little jokes about how people would start rumours you were out of his league, but you were more stubborn than anyone when it came to that... That Bonnie would be champion of the whole world one day, that if anything it was the other way around.
"Bon please..." you stuck your bottom lip out, pouting up at him in the hopes he might stop stalling, stop giving you those hungry eyes and just slip into the water with you. "I'm trying to be a good girl here and you won't let me..." you carried on feigning a sulk, gasping exasperated and splashing water at him when he raised his brow.
"you? Good?" He smirked grinning and flicking his fingers through the water to splash you back, enjoying the little shriek and the way you flinched and squirmed away.
You whined as you brushed soapy water from your eyes holding your hand out to catch his again. Relieved when this time he gave in and joined you. His sigh of relief harmonised with yours as he lowered himself into the tub and came to rest between your legs. He couldn't keep the little smile off his lips when you sat up and wrapped your arms around him pressing your chest against his back, guiding him down into your embrace as you nuzzled into his neck and scattered tender little kisses like freckles over his skin. You kissed his shoulder and let your lips linger, smiling softly to yourself as you held him, so precious, in your arms.
He was much broader than you but with your arms and your thighs locked around his body you held him just as securely as he could ever hold you. And with your cheek resting against his shoulder he felt so at home. The ache of the fight seemed to melt away from him beneath your delicate touch and as you trailed your hands up over his biceps and leant back into the tub you brought him down with you until the two of you were lying down neck deep in the water, held by the heat and the steam.
You dragged your teeth gently over his neck as you kissed him again, tickling him affectionately as he tilted his head back against your shoulder. You watched as he smiled, his eyes closed, a satisfied little hum leaving his lips as he chuckled at your persistent playful advances.
"You seem happier now," he teased referring to the apparent panic which had gripped you when you'd first seen him in the changing rooms.
For a second you'd been terrified, a dagger through your heart at the sight of your love in such a sorry looking state.
"Don't think I like watching you fight as much as everyone else does..." you admitted with a shy smile, glad he wasn't looking at you to see the way you blushed. You felt silly admitting it but it was true. From afar it was easy to watch him, when you couldn't see the damage being done. When you could see the state he was leaving the other lad in. When he was grinning bright eyed despite the blood in his mouth, one fist held in the air. Champion again.
But when you had his wounded jaw held in your palm. When you could feel the heat and the swelling left after the show, when you could see how tired he really was after the fuss had all died down. Well, it scared you a little.
"That's because you worry too much." He chuckled turning his head so that he was nuzzled into your neck, pressing a kiss to the underside of your jaw as your fingers idled in his damp curls. "Does that mean I'm gonna have to fare without my good luck charm next time?" He asked looking up at you through his long black lashes.
"No," you said, your soft smile mirroring his, "I'll be at every single one of your fights, wouldn't want those girls from the front row getting any ideas..."
"Oh really? Were there girls in the front row?" He grinned trying to tease you with his clearly-for-show-feigned disinterest.
"Oh give over," you giggled trailing off as you spider walked your fingers down over his shoulder, letting your hand rest flat over his chest where you could feel the beating of his heart. "Actually," you said with a softer more self aware smirk, "I just couldn't let anyone else patch you up after... I wanna be able see for myself that you're okay you know? An I don't trust anyone else to know..."
Bonnie looked down at your hand on his chest, grateful that the dim light and the steam concealed the true cause of his blushing cheeks. He watched your hand resting on his heart and relaxed into your embrace. With your legs wrapped around him he felt so secure, so cared for. And everything you'd just said to him, he'd been secretly hoping to hear.
"So let me get this straight," he said, his teasing smirk hard to hide or hold back, "you y/n Shelby, think you know better than a trained doctor?"
"When it comes to you, yeah..." you bit your lip, feeling a little more shy when he held your hand and took it from his chest. Held it up to his lips instead, brushing his thumb over your knuckles as he pressed his lips to your palm and let it linger.
"You fuckin Shelby's," he muttered shaking his head disapprovingly, "you're all the fuckin same..."
"Oh well," you giggled letting your other hand trail down his chest beneath the water, letting your fingers graze his inner thigh temptingly, "if we're all the fuckin same maybe you'd like to swap me out for one of my brothers..." you said with a cheeky smile, your hand squeezing his thigh, trying to tease him.
"No dove," he grinned, his voice catching in his throat as he felt your fingers wandering below the water, felt your knuckles gentle caress lightly up his semi hard length. "I promise you I would not."
His voice was lower then, a little tight sounding as your fingers curled around his length and began to massage him gently.
He was quiet then, his breath and your breath, the gentle lapping of the water against the sides of the tub, the only sounds as he relaxed under your touch.
As you moved your hand slowly beneath the water you left a scattering of lethargic open mouthed kisses over his shoulder and up along his neck, trailing slowly up to his jaw. He couldn't hold back the soft groan of pleasure which left him as you settled into a gentle rhythm, your thighs squeezing a little tighter around his waist.
As you worked at relaxing Bonnie you felt your own body growing more sensitive too. Your nipples hard, rubbing his back, a heat between your open legs that only the current of the water moving between you could satisfy. And really all that tickling current served to do was drive your longing.
"You really are a good girl aren't you little dove," he hummed as he pushed himself up a little so that he could reach to catch the corner of your mouth in a kiss.
And when you felt his lips brush yours you couldn't help but give in to him and let him take what he wanted from you. With one hand reached up behind you he held the back of your head and guided your lips down to meet his, opening your mouth with the flick of his tongue. You let him in, let his tongue brush over yours as he hummed in pleasure, the vibrations sending a little spark straight to your tummy. Sparking your own desire to a torturous level as you carried on pleasuring him beneath the water.
"Don't get used to it..." you tried to tease pulling away from his kiss only able to escape his pull for a moment before he cut you off and pulled you back in. His lips locked with yours hungrily as he slipped his tongue back into your mouth. His fingers tangled in your hair, his strength meaning he could force your head down closer to him with ease.
He kissed you harder, biting your lip and tugging to draw you in even closer, your moan melting with his when you tightened your gentle grip around his shaft to apply just enough pressure as your slipped your palm over his head and rolled your thumb over his tip.
You felt him grow even harder against your palm and bit back a satisfied little smile enjoying the knowledge that you were turning him on. Enjoying the thought that any minute now he'd lose the will to resist you and have you pulled up into his lap in seconds.
That was your favourite thing to do. Tease him until the switch flipped in his head and he simply picked you up, manouvered you however he want you, took you however he needed to.
He was so much stronger than you and the reminder of that fact in those moments of passion left you dizzied by your desire for him.
And this time it was just the same.
The needy grunt which escaped him as you teased his balls with your palm. The way he stiffened for a second, paused to think about it before he settled on his next move.
The way once he'd decided he moved so quickly, not caring for the mess of water he sent spilling over the sides of the tub when he swapped your places in the bath and pulled you up onto his lap.
Suddenly you were completely exposed. Suddenly it was you blushing, balanced perfectly before him, water rushing down your body, rivulets trickling over your breasts. Steam rising from your skin. The flicker of light from the wavering candles. The shadows which danced over you as you lowered yourself onto his cock with a soft sigh. You were heavensent. As he leant back in the tub, his hands caressed the curves of your body, watching you shiver and blush with his every delicate tough, he was certain of it. You were an angel sent down to earth just for him. He was the luckiest man alive.
"Fuck.." you breathed, a self conscious shake in your voice as you smiled and felt his cock stroke the sensitive spot inside you. Teasing you as he moved slowly and then not at all.
For a minute he was still, and his hands resting firmly on your hips held you still too.
You could feel yourself clenching and relaxing around his shaft, could feel the needy pulse beating in your clit, the wanting ache in your thighs. But bonnie was strong enough to hold you still and the small amount of pressure he applied was enough to render you helpless.
He let his eyes trail the length of your body slowly and smiled, you were gorgeous and he wanted to memorise every detail of the way you looked in that moment. Wanted to lock your image away in the back of his mind so that next time he was in that ring he could remind himself just what he'd be going home to if he won.
"Jesus Christ y/n I think you might be a fuckin angel you know..." he smirked, his soft chuckle as he spoke leaving a blush which glowed on your cheeks and your breast bone. With one hand still holding your hips he let his other trail back up over your belly and between your breasts. His smirk lingering as he watched you shiver beneath his touch. He could get cocky sometimes, when he watched how weak you were for him. How dependent on him you were in these moments when you found yourself at the mercy of his touch.
"With a mouth like that you'd better hope I'm not... I'll tell on you and you'll never get to..." but just as the word 'heaven' teetered on the tip of your tongue Bonnie pushed your hip down, grinding your crotch against his so that instead of teasing him all you could do was shiver and whimper instead.
"What was that little dove?" He asked, sitting up a little straighter so that he could look you in the eyes as he fucked you.
You were lost for words then, your eyes sparkling with amusement, a shy kind of knowing when you met his gaze and held it giving in and letting him manipulate your body. Moving your hips to the rhythm he set with a little smile on your lips.
His nose knocked against yours as he caught your lips with his mumbling the softest "I love you" as he ground your hips down even harder than the last time, sending a wave of pleasure through your core and a flutter of butterflies through your tummy. You couldn't help the smile which glowed on your face as he kissed you again. He kissed the corner of your mouth and then your cheek, trailed a freckling of kisses alone your jaw and neck only to change his mind a moment later and return to kiss you on your open, moaning mouth.
Your back arched with pleasure as you began to pick up the pace, his hands smoothing up your waist, holding you firmly as you moved up and down his shaft, digging a little deeper each time as you tried to chase your high.
He ran his hands up your back and held your shoulders, pulling you in flush against his chest. Your nipples rubbing against his chest as the two of you moved in harmony, your sighs of pleasure harmonising too.
You could tell you were making a mess, could hear the water splashing over the side of the tub and hitting the floor in little waves, but you didn't care about that anymore.
All you cared about was getting as close to one another as possible. And all you knew was you couldn't get close enough.
You were growing desperate, clutching at one another, forehead to forehead, your eyes closed as you kissed fiercely and took all of the adrenaline from the fight out on one another.
"You know I don't understand," you whispered, your voice shaking as you snatched in little breaths only to let them go moments later with sighs of pleasure, "how the rest of the world sees you every day and isn't... Isn't as..." you were growing weaker by the second but when you held Bonnie's cheek in your hand and looked down at him through the steam rising from the water, you were determined to get your words out and speak from your heart, "isn't as in love with you as I am..."
And as the words left your lips you watched Bonnie smile, his eyes still closed. His lips finding yours quickly for another kiss before he hushed you. His lips brushed over your ear lobe as he whispered to you.
"Shh little dove," and slipped his thumb into your mouth to quiet you as he pushed himself up deeper inside you and enjoyed the way you shivered in his hands. "I love you too angel but hush now Dove.."
Your eyes fluttered shut once more as you wrapped your lips around his thumb and sucked slowly, trying to relax so that you might hold on for a moment or two more.
But Bonnie didn't want you to hold on anymore, didn't want to watch you restrain yourself in anyway and so despite your best efforts to hold onto your high for a moment more, all it took was another teasing drag and thrust for you to come undone and collapse weak and shaking in his arms.
And hearing your little cry of pleasure as you crumbled was all it took to send him over the edge too so that as your body shook with your orgasm, you felt him grow inside you and release. A warmth filling you as he held you firmly down in his lap, squeezing your body so securely against his as you nuzzled into his shoulder and felt his lips on your neck. He nuzzled into you two, his chin on your shoulder as he dragged his lips over your skin and mumbled to you once again how much he loved you. How precious you really were to him.
You kept your eyes closed for a moment, your head bowed, your cheek against his as you listened to the sounds of your breath and his breath overlapping. The licking of the water against the tub slowing as everything in the room began to still with you.
You could feel his cock twitching inside you as he filled you up, your clit throbbing too as you ground hips at growing ever longer intervals.
You couldn't keep the smile from your lips, that giddy full of love feeling washing over you. The feeling only growing stronger when Bonnie looked up at you, held your cheek in his hand and guided you back to his mouth for a softer, even more tender kiss than all the others before it.
When he pulled away and leant back against the tub, his curly hair falling damp and lazy across his eyes, his smirk was lazy too. Lazy but smug. It left you eyeing him suspiciously as you asked what he was looking at you like that for.
For a second he was quiet, his mischievous little smirk twitching as he shrugged his shoulders and tried to play at innocence.
"Bonnie what?" You whined giggling though you were growing a little frustrated, a little desperate. He was making you blush again and the longer he left you in silence with that stupid smirk on his lips, the more desperately you needed to know. "Please Bonnie what?!"
"You wouldn't tell god on me..." he said, that smug smirk remaining and certain because he knew he was right. And you couldn't deny it either.
"No." You whispered sheepishly, looking down shyly as you bit back a smile. Didn't look away quick enough to miss the way Bonnie was gazing up at you still. As if he really did believe he was looking at an angel.
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hugsandchaos · 1 year ago
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Stray Cat Danny (Flash)
@evandarya , @fluffen-spooky , @shorterthanaverage , @nottmuchtopost , @killercranberries , @cmstars2 , @amecurio , @scythgal , @writer-extraordinaire , @waitimdissocaitingagain , @imaginationmademanifest , @chrysanthemum9484 , @rasberry-muffin , @jaguarthecat , @dannyphantomphan , @starmee-lodurrson , @thefearfullone , @decisively-o-indecisive , @nifeout , @sailor-goddess , @the-legal-shipper , @ollietheotaku , @lov3ly-pain , @robinmedea , @viyatrix , @markus209 , @kyrianclawraith , @newgraywolf , @the-church-grimm , @scribbiesan-main , @bruh-incoming , @sunflower-sovereign , @britcision , @spooky-fm , @phoenixdemonqueen , @latheevening226 , @avenlfear , @starscreamlover , @undead-essence , @emiwritesthings , @jaytriesstuff , @calcifina , @bun-fish , @luffyrose , @potatoeofwisdom , @thegatorsgoose , @markus209 , @may-rbi , @mothman-the-mothman-87 , @dannyisababyking , @soul-lime , @elvesandlanterns , @bahfev , @blackroserelina , @love-has-no-labels , @deepslumberworld , @lesling123 , @peachpopprize , @moons-cat , COME GET YA’LL’S DINNER!!!
Phew, that’s a lotta tagging! Did I miss anyone? https://www.tumblr.com/evandarya/704385509175312384/stray-cat-danny
Link to the original
Iris picked up the phone from her pocket soon after she heard the cheerful ringtone. She only needed to look at it for less than a second to know that it was Barry and pressed the green button to answer. To make sure it stayed up while she typed away on her laptop, Iris placed the phone between her head and shoulders.”Hey, Barry.” She greeted.”You coming back soon?” She asked. Allen was out a bit later than usual tonight, which isn’t common enough for her to worry too much -- especially since he’s also a young adult like herself --, but definitely not often enough for her to not worry at all. His breathing was labored and pretty tired.”Hey, Iris, you mind making a bit of room on the living room couch?” He asked.
That was a bit odd.”Uh, sure, just let me finish up my writing. Why? Does a friend need to come over or something?” She asked. She heard another voice yawning, which was even weirder.”Uh, not exactly. We kinda have an emergency guest.” He replied.
Barry carried the exhausted boy on his back as he walked down the rather empty sidewalk. He wasn’t all that heavy, Barry was just pretty tired himself. The boy’s head rested on his shoulders, making his dark hair brush against the side of Barry’s head a bit every time he took a step, and despite his best attempts to stay awake, he was quickly falling asleep.
His grip was slipping and growing weak, but every few seconds or so, he’d suddenly regain his grip a little or try to mumble another “thank you” or “just one” to the older man, the second indicating he only intended to accept his offer for only one night. Barry lowered his phone a little and slightly turned to glance at the kid’s head.”No problem, kid. Just get some rest now.” He said. He heard a grumble, but couldn’t understand what Danny said. Judging by the tone, though, it was probably a pouty “No!” meant to be a joke.”Barry? Who is that? Is someone with you?” Iris asked through the phone. Barry brought it back up and put his focus back on the path ahead of him and in his mind.”A kid named Danny, he was looking for a place to sleep in the alleys. He’s not in too much trouble, just really tired from what he’s told me.” He replied. Probably not the best way to explain it, but it could be worse.
Iris was now closing her laptop and heading towards the living room couch.“Why won’t he go to a shelter?” She asked. The couch wasn’t dirty or littered, but a quick brush wouldn’t hurt, and neither would a blanket. She already knew what he was going to ask if the answer to her question was no.“Too far, apparently. Is it okay with you and Joe if he stays the night, and I try to help him out in the morning?”
That was something I had no issue with, but Joe might. She also knew he would welcome it if he had no choice, though. He did the same with Barry, after all.”Sure, let me ask dad.“ She said, wiping a few stray crumbs off the couch. She put her phone on the small nightstand next to the couch and rushed upstairs. Iris went to her dad’s door, which was the second door down the hall on the right, and knocked. She didn’t even have to wait ten seconds for it to open and her father, who had been allowed (ordered) to go home early, to open the door.
“Iris? You need something?” Joe asked. Iris cut straight to the chase.
“Long story short, Barry found a kid looking for a place to stay and the shelters are full. He wants to know if he can stay here for the night.” She somewhat explained. Joe reared his head back a little bit in surprise and blinked. He was obviously as taken aback as she expected, telling her dad that her brother was bringing back a homeless kid to sleep on their couch.
“This is all of a sudden,” he started with a small step back, ”but if there’s not a lot of other options, then sure.” He shrugged. A small smile formed on his face, as if asking “how could I say no?”. Iris sighed in relief and soon found her own smile. Joe walked past her.”Thank you so much, dad.” She said. Joe glanced back at her, still smiling a bit.”Helping kids is part of my job, as an officer and a father.” He stated as they both descended downstairs.
Iris picked up her phone, hoping Allan was still on the line, and held it to her ear as Joe opened a closet to grab a spare blanket.”He said yes.” She said. She put him on speaker, just in case Joe wanted to talk as well.
“Thank goodness.” Barry breathed out.”I’m really sorry to spring this on you guys.” He apologized. He rounded the corner, ignoring the double glances people took before they kept walking. They were most likely assuming that he had somehow gained a little brother or son.
“It’s alright, Barry. Do you know if he’s had anything to eat or drink?” Joe’s voice asked on the other side of the line. That caught him off guard, but only for a millisecond, maybe even faster since his brain barely registered it.“Yeah, he told me he’s not hungry.” He glanced over at Danny’s head on his shoulder, noticing his eyes are closed and his breathing was slower.”I think he’s asleep.” He said. The lack of grumbling or some quiet form of arguing proved his theory.
“How far away are you? Do you need me to pick you up?” Joe asked. Barry, out of instinct, quickly surveyed his surroundings. Though he already knew where he was, which was kind of stupid or weird.“No. We’re about two minutes away, walking distance.” He replied.
“Alright. We’ll get the couch ready.” Joe said. Barry heard the phone beeping from his adopted dad hanging up and promptly put it in his pocket so he could use that hand to make sure Danny was being carried properly.
When Barry arrived back, Iris had opened the door for him since she saw him coming up and quickly guessed he’d struggle a bit to get his keys without dropping the kid. Once he managed to get through the door, Joe came over and carefully helped him get Danny off of his back and onto the couch, both trying to make it so they didn’t wake him up. He stirred a bit from the movement, but his eyes barely cracked open before he fell right back asleep. Danny simply laid there, and Iris quickly tucked his unconscious body under a blanket as the other two began a quiet conversation.
“Anything about his family? Friends?” Joe asked in a hushed tone. Barry shook his head.”No, he just said he’s not sure where he is or how he got there, and he can’t remember his address or any phone numbers either.” He whispered back. The two turned their heads when they noticed the light being turned off and saw Iris next to the light switch. She used the light on her phone to light up the floor and walk up to them.”We should let him sleep.” She piped in quietly.
“Yeah. I say we ask him about his situation in the morning, when we’re all well rested.” Barry agreed.
“Sounds like a plan.” Joe nodded. And with that, they went upstairs, but not before Barry gave their guest a confused glance. Something was just odd about him. He brushed it off as the sudden turn in events that had happened in the last hour confusing him and carried on upstairs.
In the morning, Danny was gone.
The blanket that had been draped over him the night before was stacked neatly and placed on the opposite end of the couch as the pillow, which was also slightly fixed so it’d appear nice for decoration.
The windows and doors were still locked from when Joe remembered to take care of that before bed, and the alarm hadn’t gone off at all throughout the night. Nothing was taken, everything was tidied up.
Except for a single sticky note placed on the wall.
Thank you so much for letting me stay the night. Hopefully, we don’t meet again under those same circumstances. — Danny
BTW, I did a load of dishes, woke up feeling productive and wanted another way of saying thanks :D
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moonshynecybin · 6 months ago
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hmmm idk if this is anything, but rosquez as romcom co stars that keep getting cast together even though they hateee each other but the chemistry is too good?
this is fun because like. it keeps some of my favorite little rosquez saw traps and wraps them up for me like a little treat. forced proximity public pda and EXTREME media scrutiny kind of their bread and butter tbh. make them crazy make them kiss im watching like tashi in the hotel scene in challengers
like marc as a young tom cruise esque (sorry. SORRY. im sorryyyyy) action star who does all of his own stunts loves the physicality of acting loves getting to pretend to do crazy stuff and be a HEROOOO but still kind of plays the same exact character every time. BIG smile always standing on apple boxes to make himself seem taller as he attempts to generate chemistry with whatever actress is his badly written love interest of the day (marc would be SO good in the mission impossible movies im sorry he WOULD be like. can i parachute off of a motorcycle into a ravine please please please youre NOTHING. santi is his extremely stressed stunt coordinator. lmao.) versus vale who came up doing indie movies as a teen in the 90s (his lil face would DOMINATE gay cinephile gifset tumblr) before launching himself to super stardom with a string of successful comedies and sort of settling into that because its easy... secretly frustrated no one will let him bust out his drama chops... BIG chip on his shoulder here a la leaving honda for yamaha etc
so eventually both of them are getting a little tired of being pigeon holed. and decide 2 book a serious ass gay romantic drama. they are tired of being hailed as the kings of fiction for the masses and they want to win at acting!! they get into the chemistry read (marc is still pretty young i think) and its. insane. INSTANT. james dean and marlon brando levels of ARE YOU TWO FUCKING?? but they literally just met. and marc has been a fan of vale's forever but not just the comedies also his earlier dramatic stuff (apocalyptic little gay crush) and they have similar taste in movies and vale is sooooo funny and it is OFF to the races. like. i cannot emphasize this enough they are fucking the WHOLE time. every scene in this movie its just leaping off the screen... they go in to film and its like that BTS clip of the americans where the director was having matthew rhys and keri russell do a sex scene and theyre suspiciously comfortable pretending to 69 and he turns to his assistant and just goes. oh yeah these guys have fucked. they are wayyyy to comfy hitching the other's pussy into their face lmao. just fucking going for it. the director is like hey guys. can you tone it down a little. marc biggggg smile okayyyyyy :3
and the movie comes out and they attend the premiere all smiley and bouncy and feeling really good about the project and then, theyy watch it. and its like. uh oh! not a lot of acting happening there ! um. best performance of either of their careers and they both look at it an can identify all the points they werent acting like evil little signal flares.... and vale shuts marc out HARD yadayadayada the Usual Rosquez Breakup Ensues.... until they both get cast in a revival of the brokeback mountain stage play and shit pops off in the most nuclear explosion of horny heartbreak to ever hit the STAGE…
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acesartemis · 28 days ago
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yearning (g, Eddie pov, buddietommy)
my take on a queer/asexual/questioning eddie
“Eddie, I want you to do a little research” —
Eddie bit his lip to contain his groan at the word ‘research’. He had come to have the kneejerk reaction to it due to Buck’s insistent need to research everything. It was endearing, don't get him wrong, but he could easily get tired of the yapping.
—“on the orientation of Asexuality,” Frank suggested close to the end of Eddie’s therapy session. “Maybe its romantic counterpart of aromanticism, too, wouldn’t hurt. Whom you are attracted to does not garner the same amount of distress in you as much as the how.  I think the asexual spectrum may be of comfort to you, considering what we’ve discussed previously of your views towards sex and dating feeling like you have to perform in those situations.
“Unfortunately, I cannot—and I would not—tell you what you should identify as, but I feel like, even if you’re not asexual, learning that it is a possibility may help you feel more settled. Furthermore, it may open the door to more exploration if you so choose. Once you have a baseline of information, we can discuss further, if needed, at the next session. ‘Sound good?”
At Eddie’s overwhelmed look, Frank gave a tiny chuckle. “Here, I’ll write it down so it's easier to remember for you.” 
Eddie took the paper from the therapist and gave him a hearty handshake. “I will. Thanks again, man.”
—♠—
The paper sat on his bedside table for three and a half days until a restless and hot night after a whirlwind of saving people from themselves and other members of humanity left Eddie unable to get comfortable enough to sleep.
With a sigh, Eddie reached for the paper, illuminated red by his alarm clock, and his phone. Might as well do some reading at 3:37 in the morning.
“Asexuality,” Google read, “is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or the low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity.”
Well, what a loaded definition.
Eddie’s head thunked against his headboard, dropping his phone to his chest as he stared at the ceiling. Yes, he’s described dating and sex as feeling like a performance. With Shannon, it was his first real relationship, them being so young. The Church and his culture told him to be a man he needed to find himself a good woman and only bed her after they were married. That was fine with him. But the act itself felt gross that first night. The noises, the sweat, the skin to skin contact, and the dirty talk always felt so awkward to him. And he hated the anxiety of making sure she felt good, that she was always satisfied. Eddie could stick his gloved hands in bloodied flesh all day long, but the thought of reaching into a woman just to find a bunch of nerves—no.
Then Shannon got pregnant, their marital-duty fulfilled, and Eddie found his out in the military where he went years without having sex, and truthfully didn't think much of it at all.
But touching he missed. And kissing. He could never get enough. The closeness, the intimacy, the soft caresses, the security of having someone or being in someone’s arms… His soul craved for it when he was gone. 
Hmm, maybe the doc was on to something.
But what really caught his attention was queerplatonic relationships: a type of relationship, most commonly non-romantic, where there is an intense emotional connection that goes beyond a traditional friendship.
Well, damn, that was him and Buck to a tee. Buck, whose attention he sought out, whose comfort he craved (even more so than Shannon, truly), who had wormed his way into the fabric of Eddie’s life to the point that he felt secure in leaving Christopher to in the event of his death.
And Buck, whom Christopher had attached himself to like a leech moreso than any other partner Eddie has had.
But was what he felt for Buck considered romantic? True, Eddie had craved to press his lips against Buck’s after the tsunami, and the lightning, but was that inherently romantic? Who could say. For right now though, queerplatonic partners had a nice ring to it. He would ask Frank at their next session.
—♠—
Then Tommy flew into the picture and Buck was suddenly bisexual and what Eddie had wanted to label their relationship all went up in smoke.
“What Buck feels does not negate what you do.” Frank’s advice rolled around his head for days. “And you don't know what he truly feels until you ask.”
Eddie truly couldn't blame the guy. Eddie wasn't sure what his attraction level was yet, having settled on calling himself merely queer for now and quite possibly never having a specific answer was quite alright with him, but he had to admit that Tommy was an Adonis of a guy. The envy of straight and queer men alike, for their respective reasons. And Tommy was the epitome of cool. Flying his new friends to Vegas in a helicopter? Strong, intelligent, and witty? He understood the baggage Eddie carried of misogyny and the military. His arms were big enough to envelop anyone, making them feel absolutely safe and secure.
Eddie hadn't felt that way with another person since Buck.
Oh, shit.
—♠—
During a frantic phone call during a break in the activity of Eddie's work day, Frank said, “Eddie, yes, it is okay to feel like this with more than one person. You’re friends with more than one person, right? And we all have different needs that can't always be met by the same person.”
—♠—
Eddie’s stomach was in knots. He made uncharacteristic mistakes on calls to the point where Hen decided to body-check him out of the way while looking after a patient and it was obvious Buck noticed. Of course Buck noticed. And Tommy too, as Eddie fiddled with his wine glass the next time the trio had gathered at Tommy’s to watch a fight on ESPN.
“Spill it,” Tommy softly demanded, reaching over to rescue the fragile glass from his fingers.
“Yeah, you’ve been off," Buck agreed. His lips turned down in a worried frown. "Is it us? We have both been extra careful not to make you uncomfortable—”
Eddie groaned. “Buck, no. It definitely is not you guys. Well, it is, but not the way you’re thinking.”
“You can tell us anything, you know. This is all a whirlwind to us too,” Tommy assured and Eddie just yearned.
That's what it was. It all finally clicked in his brain. Eddie was yearning. He already had Buck and knew he always would, but he yearned for more. Tommy made Buck so happy in a way Eddie could not. And while that didn't truly matter to him, he was developing the feeling of being the outsider looking in.
“Eddie?” Buck urged so carefully, so softly, like he was terrified.
“I want—” Eddie breathed, clearing the lump of anticipation and anxiety from his throat. “I yearn for… both of you. I… relish in your hugs and touches, and I want… more. I’ve been talking to Frank and I know I'm not bisexual in the traditional sense, and I might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum but I don't care. I just know deep in my bones that I want you. Both of you, in my life forever. To talk to, to cry and laugh with, to take care of my son with. To have and to hold and to kiss… but nothing sexual.”
“So like we’re already doing, but with more of this?” 
Eddie’s breath hitched as Tommy’s warm hand encircled his wrist. He gave a small tug and Eddie complied eagerly as the man wrapped his arms around him and tucked Eddie against his chest. His breath tickled his ear as he pressed chapped lips to his temple.
Eddie’s heart felt like it were to explode.
A small whine fell from Buck’s lips. “Don't leave me out!”
Eddie chuckled as he and Tommy opened opposite arms to make room for Buck, quickly bracketing the man into their shared embrace. “Aw yes. Lifetime achievement unlocked!”
“You’re a dork, Buck.”
“But you love it.”
“So this is good?” Tommy asked, locking eyes with Eddie and giving a soft but pointed look. Buck would roll with anything, they both knew, but Tommy had the experience to know he needed to step lightly with this. 
“Yes, it and you.” Eddie aimed to brush a kiss to Buck’s cheek but was surprised to find Buck's lips instead, the attacker giggling as they separated. Eddie then turned his head to kiss the underside of Tommy’s jaw, ensuring the older man didn’t feel left out either.
Eddie gave him a firm nod, and delighted when Tommy brushed their lips together for the first time. The kiss was feather light but it made Eddie see stars anyway.
Eddie didn't care what he was. He loved Buck and Tommy and they loved him back and that's all that mattered to him.
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