#though also i kinda like earth squad for this bc my relationship to these friends is queer but platonic so. espc if everest isnt in it

[cherriko-art]

I haven't even started Leah's romance route yet but I've already got their entire relationship and dynamic mapped out in my head.

Rambling into the void, but my female farmer OC, Mili, is basically a female himbo. I'd like to think that she doesn't really get all the passive aggressive jabs Leah makes to the farmer in the beginning of the game, and it makes Leah feel kinda bad abt it later on. As they grow more familiar with each other, I'd believe Mili's tenacious attitude eventually wears down Leah's defensive walls and she starts to grow fond of Mili and her lil' antics (much to Leah's own horror).

And since Mili is kinda airheaded but kind, she's easy to take advantage of, even if others don't exactly have any ill intentions. This would start to annoy Leah as she sees Mili running around helping everyone and their dog around town, and she starts to get kinda overprotective of Mili, and chastises her for never being able to say no to anyone (both farmer siblings are like this tbh). I kinda headcanon that Leah hates Scott bc 1. She's lowkey jealous that Mili and Scott hang out a lot in the mines (but she can't bring herself to go to there herself, its gross and dirty and also there's no reception) but mainly bc 2. She thinks Scott is absolutely full of shit with his museum that exists purely due to all the donations Mili makes to it, but he essentially takes all the credit for. Mili disagrees, but regardless, Leah and Scott don't get along.

After they start dating, Leah becomes an overprotective but proud gf who loves showing Mili off to her followers. The only thing is that she despairs over Mili's lack of fashion sense, esp since Mili's older sibling, Lu-Ran, is perfectly well-dressed themselves. So it becomes her hobby to dress Mili up in cute but practical clothes.

On Mili's end, she's just a simple girl with simple thoughts. Leah is a drop-dead gorgeous gf with a heart of gold (according to Mili, disagreed with by many others). She doesn't really get all the influencer stuff but she's supportive and likes to chat with Leah's followers on livestreams. She doesn't know that Leah's followers have basically formed a Mili Fan Club/Protection Squad.

I also like to think that Leah is a lifestyle influencer and environmental advocate. She donates the money made during livestreams and sponsorships towards environmental research and causes. My headcanon is that she's one of Ling's main sponsor (anonymous of course) for her coral research.

Overall, I'm a big fan of "opposites attract" tropes, so I am obsessed with my OC Mili and seeing how the relationship dynamic with Leah would work out. Mili would help Leah become more emotionally vulnerable and be less rigid, while Leah would be a solid rock in Mili's chaotic life who helps keep her grounded and remind her to take care of herself and not just others. Leah is a bit antisocial though, despite being an influencer, so being together with the social butterfly that Mili is would be quite interesting. With Mili as the bridge, Leah would eventually open up to other villagers too and become friends with Mili's friends too (other than Scott of course). From the get-go, Leah would get along very well with Mili's older sibling (my other farmer OC), Lu-Ran, as they're very down-to-earth, quiet and acceptably-dressed (to Leah's standards).

Anyways, if you actually read my word vomit, thank you for entertaining my 2am brain ramblings.

[cosmicharmonyoc]

this is a horrible tracing job, it was hard bc everyone was wearing long skirts and bulky jackets so the anatomy was fucky but this was the basic cuddling. important details are pink's legs wrapped behind everyone, green wrapping their arm around themself to hold pink's hand, blue playing with both green and pink's hair hehe

there’s a pose i really wanna draw my ocs in but it’s 3 people and i keep making groups of 4 asdfghj

[sunflowerhae]

Okay👁👄👁

I’m not the mom of the group, I’m just the annoying loud one that gives too much affection to her wife, but it’s our one month anniversary of being a gc and I have literally S O MUCH affection to give🥺🥺✋

Abi

Emoji set that reminds me of her: 😊👉👈💘✨😩🤢(this one bc shes h*t, she knows what that says)

-> @earth-to-that-asian

Abi ur my favorite momma literally ever. You’re super shy, which is so cute, and u seem like,,,like? Kinda have ur life? Together? I mean who does really but youre a really good example of where one should probably be at your age. You say “I-“ literally all the time and are always secretly encouraging our bad behavior so all in all ur a great mom. You are also always sending me asks that are just you giving me love and affection and tbh they make me so happy I love you sm and I’m so glad you accepted me into this amazing gc a whole ass month ago

Grace

Emoji set that reminds me of her: 🥺✋💖✨🏳️‍🌈☁️😭💛😍💍

-> @nct127grass

Grace. Grace. GRACE. Idk when we go married, but I think it’s been like a good two weeks? You are my favorite favorite person ever and definitely my favorite Australian (don’t worry luv we don’t hold it against u). Literally I love flirting on main w you and definitely being the best example of a healthy married relationship to the youngies (and abi bc she’s the only one older than us but she’s L O N E L Y and that’s what she gets for being a he-🤢 I can’t even say it). You’re the Jeno to my Jaemin, and I love ur vibe and ur energy sm idk what the gc would be like without u. Maybe I would have left idk we ALL know how I am in gc’s (you’ve all seen the many many screenshots😔) n e ways MY WIFE I LOVE UUUU😍😍😚😍🥰😘😘🥰

Juju

Emoji set that remind me of her: 😌✋😳👀🤑🤰🏼🌞🌼🌹

-> @nanajaems0308

Juju my forever fav memory of u is the first video call we all had when u came a bit late and I accidentally called u abi and elie had to correct me and I wanted to leave the call and the gc and never show my face then and there. You had the cutest lil voice too omg 🥺🥺 I was like “juju protection squad: assembled” although I never said anything hahaha. Ok I think realistically you’re someone who I don’t interact with TOo much. Like ofc we’re friends but we’ve never had like close close talks before, that being said I think you are still literally amazing. YEp! U heard me! A M A Z I N G! I hope no one lets ur cute lil self fool them bc when u get into fights w zainoo I get ScAred like oh my god zainoo is BRAVE brave. I think ur adorable also tho and u definitely are a good friend that cares for the people u love😩🥺🥺🥺😘

Cissy

Emoji set that reminds me of her: ☁️💘🥵👁👅👁🧚🏻‍♀️👑

-> @bbjisungg

cissy you haven’t been in the gc for long, and I kinda forced you to be in it after u were my accomplice, but tbh I couldn’t have asked for a better person to commit crimes w. You were so wildling and open to everything I roped u into, and then when I forced u to join my gc full of cRaCkhEAds, u were just like “sure fam” and then boom u were in. You had to change ur pfp On Instagram and EVERYTHING. I hope u don’t regret joking our mess of a gc, bc I definitely don’t regret making u join. Idk what gc we originally knew each other from, I just remembered knowing who you were, which is why I messaged u to spy for me (bc u were the only other person who I knew in that messy messy gc that I don’t wanna talk abt) and you just like,,I’ve said it befor I’ll say it again THANK U for going w the flow if you had said you wouldn’t do it I would have cried into the gc ur NOW APART OF and elie and abi would have offered to beat ur ass and it would have been a THING but now they’re willing to beat someone’s ass for u so see it’s the cycle of life🤩 I’m drowning on and boring even myself so I wanted to say I hope we all become much much more closer w each other and that ily vv much😩✋💖✨

Zainoo

Emoji set that reminds me of her: 💅🏻🐙🍃✨🍡🔪💌💛

-> @http-stan-nct

Zainoo Imma lay it all out on the line here and say u scare me sometimes 😳✋ you have this strong personality that can sometimes be intimidating but once someone gets to know you, ur actually just a huge softy that hates bugs and wears lemon socks. And Ik it might not seem that way to you, but idk that’s just how you come off to me,,, u are married to another person named gwen, so ofc you’re already ahead in the game - you and grace seem to have it all figured out correctly - and you are just adorable when u get excited abt something and just have to let everyone know ~lemon socks~ u fighting w juju in the chat is genuinely hilarious to watch it’s free entertainment I don’t think I need Netflix anymore , and ur a comedy legend although if me saying that inflates ur ego even a lil bit then I’m out. I LOVE U😩😩😭 oh and ps STOP USING CLOWN EMOJIS TO REACT TO EVEEYTHING I SAY

Elie

Emoji set that reminds me of her: 🔪👁👄👁😭✋😳😩🔪🖤

-> @ciaojunnie

Elie ur the youngest. And yet,? U have the soul of an 80 yr old murderer😌✨ you are literally the toughest person I’ve ever met, and u genuinely scare me sometimes buT I would pay to watch u beat the ppl at ur school up. You’re the queen of the 🏳️‍🌈 scene and I wish I wish We could all protect u from all the ASSHOLES in ur life but just know that even though we’re not there irl, we are always here to listen to you and we’re all older so we can give 10/10 advice (lmao sure) (see even I laughed at that) (6.5/10 maybe!) also I love ur notes (u were making them on the call I think) ALSO the amount of times u CURSE should be ILLEGAL everytime u say s*x or *ss I literally am like “NOOOOooooOOOOO” and grace and abi encourage it which makes me 👊👊👊🤬🤬😡😡😡 at them but not for long bc they’re literally my mom and my wife so- N E WAYS I’m rambling but you I wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted a knife set for ur birthday or something which is iconic and u remind me of a younger me so keep doing u🥺🥺🥺i🥺L🥺y🥺💖

All in all you guys are the best gc I’ve ever been in and I hope we stay friends for a long time guys🥺🥺🥺🥺 I will never forget that my journey into the center of this hell pit of a gc started w a fanfiction abt jaehyuns belly button but it really set the scene for the next coming month so I’m thankful for it. I love u all, ur all eggcellent, and ur my favorite nctzens ever 😩😩😩✋✋✋💌🍃💘😳😳🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 HAPPY 1 MONTH!

[datleggy]

a list of every anime i love/recommend, accumulated over the last 10+ years

1. NATSUME YUUJINCHOU 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is a teenage boy named Natsume, whose parents died when he was too young to remember them properly. He’s passed around random relatives homes, but because he can see yokai (spirits), he’s ostracized by classmates and his foster families (ALL HIS CHILDHOOD FLASHBACKS ARE SO FUCKING SAD) and eventually very distant relatives (an older couple who never had kids of their own and have so much goddamn love to give D:!!!) take Natsume in, and the story basically starts from there. 

It’s a very heart-warming story following Natsume’s new life in this new town, accepting his ability to see yokai, forging new relationships in the form of friends and family, and even with the yokai themselves. 

This is honestly probably my favorite anime/manga period, because it’s so sad but so cathartic and you watch as the main character grows and learns to trust those around him, and finally gets the unconditional love he’s always deserved, not to MENTION THE FACT THAT THEY DO A WHOLE EP WHERE NATSUME IS TURNED BACK INTO A LITTLE KID AND IT IS SOOOO GOOD OMG

Plus for those of you who enjoy whump, this show has a decent amount of it. Mainly emotional whump, but also some episodes where Natsume is injured or sick--as well as I believe one where his companion (the chubby cat on his shoulder who’s actually a pretty badass yokai) gets shot with an arrow and is down for the count. 

10/10 would and have watched again. 

2. KODOCHA NO OMOCHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  The main character is a sixth grader named Sana. She’s a gifted actress on a t.v. show everyone likes and she’s silly and fun, very intuitive and surprisingly empathetic for a child. 

Her main problem is in school, where Akito, who she deems the leader of her class’ wolf pack of rowdy rude boys, lets them terrorize not just the teacher, but all the girls in class, as well. 

I don’t really want to give a lot away, so I’ll just state the obvious. This anime/manga is shoujo, which means that it does focus on a romantic relationship throughout the series. Mainly the one between Sana and Akito. Sana is absolutely oblivious about her own feelings, while Akito is a stubborn little shit. 

I remember watching this at like, age 12 maybe? And I really enjoyed it because (although I do enjoy your typical silly doesn’t take itself too seriously slice of life shoujo) this particular anime, while super funny and light hearted at times, was also really dramatic and even kinda dark, which was surprising considering the characters ages and the general kid-friendly vibe (especially the opening for the anime). 

3. DETECTIVE CONAN

SUMMARY/REVIEW:  Our main character is initially Shinichi Kudo, teenage detective, who’s on a date with childhood sweetheart Ran (whose father also happens to a detective but like....not a good one lmao), when his nosy ass self decides to go and check out some shady business and gets “poisoned”. 

The poison he’s given is intended to kill him, but what it actually does is turn him back into a child. And now, as Conan Edogawa, (who’s 7 but like....we just supposed to believe all these cops and detectives on the force are cool with a seven year old wee lil babe on these really gruesome ass crime scenes??? lmaoooo) we follow him on his adventures as he solves crimes and tries to solve the biggest mystery of all, his own! 

I absolutely LOVE this anime/manga, even though I’ll be honest, there is SO MUCH FILLER, but I like the characters enough that I really don’t mind. The show is at least 900+ episodes in at this point, and there are a total of 26 movies so far, last time I checked. 

Also, the show is a whump fangirls’ dream come true. The main character is thrown out of windows, balconies, shot at, and in one occasion actually shot, he’s had broken bones, sprains, almost been blown up or drowned/burned, been sick, and oh, his occasional transformations from child to teenager are incredibly painful. 

This show is probably at fault for my love of whump, since it was one of my first animes at like, age 9. smh. 

4. THE DEVIL IS A PART-TIMER!

REVIEW:

I’m not even going to summarize this one. The title does it for me. This is truly one of the funniest animes I’ve ever seen. Motherfuckin Satan works at a McDonalds part time and it is the BEST. 

Technically I would count this show as a kind of harem, but only because there are like three main girl characters after the overlord Satan himself. I usually dislike harem type animes but the way this is done is sooooo good I couldn’t resist. 

I would watch a million filler episodes of Satan trying to solve problems at his minimum wage job tbh. I love every single character, I love the plot, I love everything about this anime! In terms of comedy (with the occasional plot driven serious moments) this is IT bro. 

5. BLACK BUTLER

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is Ciel Phantomhive (roughly 14 years old). His parents are killed, his house is burned to ashes, and he’s kidnapped (around age 9 or 10 I believe) and abused. During this abuse Ciel calls upon a demon to free him and help him get revenge on those who harmed the Phantomhive household, which is where Sebastian, one “hell of a good butler” comes in. 

We then follow Ciel and Sebastian on their path of vengeance, and along the way we meet Ciel’s human servants, three very clumsy and seemingly bad at their given tasks characters (i love them all), and some of his extended relatives and connections. 

My favorite thing about Black Butler is the art, both in the anime and manga. Everything is so detailed and pretty! 

The characters are interesting, the plot is dark but they manage to make most of the series overall pretty light-hearted and funny in general. Though of course there are chapters/parts of the series that get really grim (which duh, the whole thing focuses on revenge so...) 

I have to say, the arc I enjoyed the most has to be the movie, Black Butler: Book Of the Atlantic. It is beautifully drawn and sooooooo entertaining. 

6. INUYASHA 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Our main characters are Inuyasha, a half-demon, who’s been in a sort of spiritually binding coma for the last few decades, and fourteen year old Kagome, who falls into an old well in her family’s shrine and finds herself being transported into another time period. 

Together, she and Inuyasha travel across the lands in the feudal era to find the scattered shards of the shikon jewel, a powerful jewel which grants anyone who possesses it ultimate power. 

I was too young to stay up and watch Inuyasha on adult swim, so my mom would tape the show on a VCR for me to watch the next day after school--yes, I’m old old. lmaoooo I ADORE this show. 

It’s so good! It’s got everything! A tortured lil half-demon with a sad past who’s stubborn and rude but got a good heart! A fierce and equally as stubborn main protagonist, who’s whole ass family knows exactly where she goes off to??? and are supportive af????? like???? her mama packs her and her squad of demon/exorcist/demon hunter pals bentos?!?! lmao i love it. 

The characters are awesome and funny and likable as all heck, and of course they all have their sad backstory, but like, unlike some animes (lookin at YOU Naruto) they don’t go mega overboard on it, at least not without some plot behind the episode. 

7. YU YU HAKUSHO 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

Before I even start in on the summary, ya’ll should watch this soley bc of the cute ass 90′s style animation alone. LOOK AT ALL THAT SHINY HAIR!

ANYWAY. Main character is teenage hooligan and overall cutie pie Yusuke! He gets struck by a car and fucking DIES in the first episode after shoving a little boy out of the way, only to end up in the spirit world where the head honcho up there (who looks like a wee baby) tells him “Oh shit, didn’t expect you to like, actually do anything self-sacrificing EVER so like, you’re not on our list of people who were supposed to die today...” 

And uh, I don’t wanna give anything away, so I’m just gonna say that if you haven’t seen this anime yet, you definitely should! It’s hilarious and dramatic, the fight scenes are very well done, all the side characters, who eventually become main characters are a blessing (specifically Hiei, who’ve I’ve had a crush on since I was 12) and the ending is a satisfying one, which you can’t really say for a lot of media. 

8. CHRONO CRUSADE 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I still get weepy when I think of this anime, so all I’ll say is it’s about a badass demon slaying nurse and her demon companion and some very tragic shit. 

It’s a great anime overall, especially if you like crying yourself to sleep at night :) 

9. GHOST HUNT

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

The main character is high school student Mai, who is hired by Naru, the head of a Shibuya psychic research, and together, with a group of questionable exorcists/psychics, they encounter paranormal phenomenons and some outright scary shit. 

I’m not really a fan of the horror genre tbh but I do like mystery, and the series deals with that quite a bit. They deal with each case for several episodes so nothing feels too rushed. 

The series is really fun in a creepy, wtf is that way. I recommend the manga, only because it’s more detailed in terms of plot than the anime. 

10. ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM 

SUMMARY/REVIEW: 

I didn’t really make this list in any particular order but if I had to say, Assassination Classroom and Natsume Yuujinchou probably tie for BEST ANIME PERIOD! 

This anime is about a weird ass “alien” creature, no one knows where it came from or why tf it’s here on earth, all they know is that in one year it’s threatened to blow the world up. 

His only request to the government is that they let him become a teacher for Class E, the worst class of Kunugigaoka Junior High School, and he will stay put, so that they can attempt an assassination on him during this one year period. 

AND LISTEN! I am a shallow hoe, so I literally never would have read this manga or watched the series had I not been roaming Barnes and Noble one day with my S.O. and picked it up to read as a JOKE! 

I was hooked after the first chapter and I am soooooooo glad I picked this manga up, bc it is absolutely not the type I would normally go for, cover art wise. I finally, after many many years, learned not to judge a book by its cover bc LORD this anime is so goddamn good, you don’t understand! Like, I’ve watched it so many times and still laugh at the same parts, cry at the same parts, am proud af at the same parts! like, this anime is an instant classic and should definitely be more popular than it is. 

assassination classroom and natsume yuujinchou????? MASTERPIECES! 

[blkjackals]

Lil info on me & my IRL friends!!

SO... these people are my favourite people on earth. They all mean the world to me & they’re literally my found family. I love them all so much. They are the founding members of the “Stop Day’s Caffeine Addiction” squad, and will all criticize me if I have too much in one day. I would do anything for them, and I know they’d do the same for me. The only sucky thing is that everyone is going their own way for Post-Secondary (for college/uni), and only a few are possibly going to the same place, so we’re all a lil anxious abt that.

uhhh this is 100% a rant post abt how much these people mean to me, and If u hunt enough u can prolly end up finding all my socials from it. straight up.

Maddie: my FAVOURITE PERSON. She’s been in my life since 2nd Grade, and we became best friends in grade 7 or 8. We’re hella close and I trust her with  my life. She’s the first person i go to abt anime recommendations and I’m currently trying to drag her into Haikyuu! (her tumblr is @/space-garbage but she don’t use it)

Max: This bitch oh god. He’s been in my life since Kindergarten and I trust him a lot. We have a weird kinda relationship bc we just constantly mock each other good-naturedly and I vibe. We’ve had a few bumps but we pull thru.(his tumblr is @/mr-mystical and idk if he uses it)

Tristan: Really quiet. Easily the chillest out of all of us. He does online school so I don’t see him often face to face, and easily more of a lurker. Very funny when it comes down to it though, tries to keep the peace. I’ve known him since Grade 3, and we hung out a fair bit back then.

Rafe: the peacekeeper in our friend group. He’s always there if u need to talk or anything like that. Absolutely hilarious, and just a general good presence!!  EXTREMELY SUPPORTIVE. Literally always finds something nice to say! Known him since Grade 5, and yea!!

Jason: The token Diversity. He also runs a youtube channel (and streams sometimes with ppl from the group, u can prolly find me in some of his videos). really funny & creative! all in all radical & cares for all of us! I met him in 7th grade.

Ben: OH SHIT this guy. I’ve known him since 8th grade, he was rlly silent at first but damn he talks a lot when he opens up. Another rlly funny guy, I tend to make fun of him bc in our 10th Grade Civics and Careers class someone said he had a southern accent and now i call him a southerner. Also the man behind the slaughter

Connie: my other girl!! she’s absolutely radical. I met her in 9th or 10th grade, and we got along rlly well! She genuinely cares for all of us but swings between that and being an absolute chaotic force. Somehow always catches me when im trying to chug a Monster behind everyone’s backs, idk how.

Ethan: oh god. Uh, Ethan and I have the same music taste, no joke. I met him in 9th or 10th grade, and only recently learned that. He was rlly there for me during my last breakup, and I have MAD respect for that cuz I was a mess. Genuinely funny, actually tries the music I recommend to people, all around radical.

MJ: ok so I haven’t met her IRL but she’s easily one of my favourite people. I met her 2 years ago and she’s just so amazing. Great singer, keeps the peace & happily talks about whatever with me! Real positive influence when I try to do one on one calls w/ her,, always works out p well! She’s just amazing! She’s also the one who found this acc (hi melll!!)

[saltyslack-toast]

How I deal with my puberty

“Teenagers are the most misunderstood people on the planet. They are treated like children and expected to act like adults”  – Anonymus.

Facing the ‘youth age’ seems to be very interesting for most of the pre-teen age kids, they thought it will be filled with good memories, cool friends, hangouts, parties, and probably some of charming boyfriends. Well for some of kids, teenage phase is the way it is, they called it for a ‘stupid phase of life’ because they have been through all those reckless and dumb things yet so exciting and memorable events at the same time, but for me teenage life is probably the most broken phase of life.

Start in my early teenage which was in the 5th grade of my elementary, I started having a crush with my one year older senior. Everything was went smooth, I used to have a lot of guts to actually approach him and surprisingly he responded it very well, I’m gonna count that shit as my real first love (since I already have a crush to boys since I was in kindergarten). He was soon graduated and I CRIED SO MUCH, I don’t even understand why would I cried so much back then, but it is kinda sad because that was the first time a boy actually like me back lol and also bc me and him not gonna be in the same school again because he decided to continue his education in Islamic boarding school which was so far away from the area we lived and obviously school which my parents not gonna approves me to go to. Last year of my elementary was the first time I got period, the changes all over my body was so appalling, my voice was getting more shrill and my breast swelling so much i started used a fucking mini-bra that has a cute character printed in it. Also, this stage filled with academics stuff to prepare the junior high school and fighting with my own teacher (she was terrorizing me through anon messages, dude not gonna lie but that shit is scared me as fuck) because…. That’s a fucking long-ass story I’m going to tell you a whole complete story on different page. I got a very terrific result for my academic stuff but I also start to received a lot of bullies from the boys in school, well that was poor but I still have a very good girl pals in school that always accompany me until I managed to graduate elementary school with a very keen grade and also knowledge that my body is changed A LOT.

My middle school life would probably the darkest stage of my life, I did enter one of favorite school in Bandung which I wanted to, but I’m not as happy as I thought to be. I’m amazed with all the bewitching seniors and that’s quite tempted me to have another activity outside the academic stuff which I hoped I could get close with the seniors and try my luck to actually dating with one of them (I was so obsessed to approach to the seniors because dude just admit it, u need that RECOGNITION to survived a new phase of school life, especially when u had a popular life back in previous school stage), but I joined a fucking scouting which was the most unpopular extracurricular activities in school (Pffffttt……….). The first year was quite so so, and up to the next years I really gulping a lot of bullies from the boys (again) more than I received my whole life that was so awful I even got scared just to attend the school. At this point, my level of confidence just dropped so bad until it penetrated the last form of earth soil, I was so insecure, I can barely made any eye contact with people, since then I became more closed to people, I was so scared for getting rejection, bad and all the harsh word from people I met. And for the record, I still remember all of their names, I’M NOT GONNA TO FORGET ALL OF U BITCH, U’VE RUINED MY LIFE.

Due to all the bullies I seized, I’m not maximizing my potential and have to accept the fact that I didn’t went to the high school I wanted so bad (which was the number one in Bandung, perhaps in Indo as well), instead, I have to go the high school (still one of the most-favorited high school in B-town though) that is filled with the most popular peeps in Bandung and known for the superiority of the all the seniors there, CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE THAT? A girl who was traumatized so bad, scared of might get bullies since she’s not as beautiful, popular, rich or even attractive as most of the other girls in school. I was crying so bad to accept that difficult truth that I might got bullied again. But hey, there’s always a rainbow after the storm, turns out I did quite well in high school, I joined the student council and got so many good friends and capable of having group of girls squad (eventhough I always be the duff) and more active in non-academic stuff that lead me to a very bad grade result.

The relationship with my family is not went so smooth at all, I used to buried all my problems deep down on myself alone, and the result is no good. I was overly sensitive and got upset and explode VERY EASILY. My family doesn’t help at all, they also blame me for anything, made me hate myself more. I need to run away from this situation, I need to shed my resentment over something, AND THAT’S THE BEGINNING. I started to slashed my fingers with a cutter, not really bad, just until I saw blood drops over my fingers. But then the problem got more serious, I am addicted, after I had through a big fight with my family I start cutting up all over my hands, the blood is overwhelming (yet, I still had the time for doing the documentation, but obviously I’m not gonna post it in here anw, or maybe I will, ofcourse with a proper sensor), even when my sister have taken away all the cutters, I still use my nails to scratching my skin harshly until it get bleed terribly and left a very bad scars on my hands until now.

I failed academic stuff in high school miserably, and had to be genuinely accept the reality that I have to go to not-so-favorited-private uni in Cimahi, I took International Relations because that is the only major that is accredited with an A, lol but yeah my sister realized that I like to talk politics a lot and I’m not so bad in English (kinda true, nah still sucks). And yeah until now I just currently finished the 3rd semester very well. I got a very good grades (Probably because I regret my academic stuff so much in high school) and hoping that nice event will come up to me. My goals right now is to graduate college as soon and as perfect grades as possible, and got a very good job soon after I graduate, Oh God I want… No, I really need that things so bad.

Now I am 20 on April this year, so much things has happened in my teenage life but most of all is not that impressive because I came to be more ignorant(?), but geez I grew up doesn’t care about people, they are all so mean and cruel. But at the same time, people are so interesting to learn, including yourself. Teenage phase could be so difficult for some of you (just like me, or perhaps worse), but chillax that shit will over soon if you able to learn about yourself, finds out about anything you like and don’t, stop hearing all those shit opinion about you, what matter most is what makes you happy, focused on it and leave all the bad and negativity behind, and TRUST ME you’re gonna get over your hard-teenage-life phase soon! And if you were angry to your parents (I’m pretty sure that fight with parents happens all the time in everyone’s teenage life), take a deep breath and thinking something funny in your head, after u have control all the madness inside yourself, get over your parents nicely because that shit will never get over if you were just as emotional as them.

The more you grown up the more you understood about people around you, there are people that is fake, people that is actually care about you, and other types of people out there. Puberty might be shocking for some of you, you finds a lot of changes both in your physical and mental conditions, no need to be worry about that, is normal and very understandable. The passion for being ‘seen’ would be very strong, it would be good for you to use this ambition to achieve many great things in life but don’t forget to take care yourself and those people who care about you.

“Tough time never last, but tough people will do” – Robert H. Schuller

So yeah, that was the end of this boring and so weird writing of mine. I am so sorry if this shit was that bad and also the grammar errors that is whack (even though no one probably read it lol), this was my first experience to actually writing and posted in on any platform online, hoped my writing will get better next time!

Xiao!

[mega-aggron]

ask meme 1-140

i almost forgot to throw this under a read more oops

3 Fearsinsignificance, being a burden, violence

3 things I lovepokemon, friends, nice shades of blue

2 turns ongood hugger, beard

2 turns offsmoking/drugs, aggression

My best frienddon’t really have One but the ol grunge contrast boys and the dcc + jared and me squad are all v important to me

Sexual orientationjust like… so fucking gay dude

How tall am I6′3″ / 190cm

What do I miss right nowa lot of my friends have moved out for the summer

Favourite colorturquoise / teal

Do I have a crushnot like… super consciously……. but i think i’m still working through some subconscious stuff……………..

Favourite placetough one. idk i’m good pretty much anywhere my friends are. if food’s there it’s also a plus

What am I listening to right nowmake it happen - john splithoff

Shoe sizesame as the number of this question

Eye colorblue

Hair colorbrownish blond naturally, front top is currently a faded green / bleach blond (i need to redye…. i’m not too huge a fan of the bleach blond look but others seem to like it on me)

Meaning behind my URLbig ol’ pokeboy

Favourite songall time is a tough one, my usual answer is bandages by hey rosetta! but i’m also super partial to lorde’s hard feelings / loveless and paramore’s last hope among others

Favourite bandtop 3: paramore, chvrches, hey rosetta!

How I feel right nowkinda wistful. just got back from 16 days of travel with some of my closest friends and it’s been a noticeable change in tone coming back to this coast and reacclimating to not being surrounded by friends for literally every waking moment.

Someone I lovemy mom? is that a cop out answer

My current relationship statussingle as ever

My relationship with my parentsmom and stepdad a+, dad irrelevant

Favourite seasoni usually answer summer bc it has my birthday and i was always off of school but i think i have a new fondness for spring

Tattoos and piercing i havenone

Tattoos and piercing i wantnot sure yet. probably no piercings but maybe some song lyric or video game related tattoos

The reasons I joined Tumblra friend was like “you seem like a tumblr person” so i got one but then i asked to follow her and she said she actually didn’t have one so i got stuck in this eternal sinkhole

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?i did like once when i was talking to a guy from tinder like a year and a half ago but then he ghosted me lmao

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?it’s my sibling so like yes in a “love you, take care” goodbye way but not in the manner this question was supposed to be answered

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?if i’m showering like 45 minutes, otherwise as little as 10

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?nope

Where am I right now?back in my apartment after two weeks on the west coast and two days at my parents’ home

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?reasonable i guess? gotta protect those ears man, hearing loss is no joke

Do I live with my Mom and Dad?nope. haven’t since summer before junior year

Am I excited for anything?just visited a whole bunch of apartments today and i filled out an intent to lease form for one of them so that’s exciting

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?idk? at some points in my life i have but at this point i don’t really tell everything everything to like… anyone lol

How often do I wear a fake smile?[paramore’s fake happy playing in the distance]

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?sara bareilles? the mcelboys? idk

What do I think about most?usually i don’t have one specific thing i think about a lot. as of late one of them has been….. trying to sort through some Gay Emotions re: stopping myself from falling for a straight friend again and trying to break that cycle and i think i’ve finally done it [lmao expect a /tagged/personal post sometime soon]

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?depends. i get that Sweet Validation from being in front of it but i also really value behind the scenes work

What was the last lie I told?i couldn’t tell ya. haven’t had to tell one recently

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?if it’s with friends i’m fine with either? theres always something nice about seeing someone’s face but it’s not necessarily an all-the-time thing

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts: not reallyaliens: hell yeah

Do I believe in magic?in a young girl’s heart?(nah but showmanship is a hell of a skill)

Do I believe in luck?nah

What’s the weather like right now?it’s dark and i’m not opening my windowit’ll probably be 94 degrees by the time i post this after i sleep and wake up to finish more questions

What was the last book I’ve read?my brother’s husband by gengoroh tagame! just some good gay content that i found in portland at a giant bookstore that i recognized from tumblr. can’t wait for volume 2 to come out in september

Do I have any nicknames?friends sometimes call me 7, and i get called steve occasionally and really dislike it

Do I spend money or save it?mostly save. though i kinda splurged on this travel trip because it’s the last time i’m gonna be able to do something like this for quite a while.

Can I touch my nose with a tounge?no i’m apparently medically tongue tied so i can’t stick my tongue out that far

Favourite animal?i really like sea otters! also elephants and chinchillas and dogs

What was I doing last night at 12 AM?being jet lagged

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?nsp’s cover of everybody wants to rule the world

What is my favorite word?idk i have a list of cool sounding words on my phonedynamo is the first one on that list so i’ll roll with that

My top 5 blogs on tumblrah

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?just fuckin.... have empathy once in a while

Do I have any relatives in jail?i don’t think so? i think my dad might’ve been in/out of jail at some point bc he never pays child support but i haven’t talked to him in years so idk

What is my current desktop picture?(attached at the bottom of this post)

Had sex?no

Bought condoms?no they just gave them out for free at college and then i don’t have a use for them

Gotten pregnant?that seems.... difficult

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?not that i can recall

Had job?yeah, a few over my college years and now a more permanent one coming up

Smoked weed?no and i don’t plan on it

Smoked cigarettes?no and i don’t plan on it

Drank alcohol?yep

Am I a vegetarian/vegan?nope

Been overweight?uh i was a super “chunky” baby as i am often told

Been underweight?i think i’ve teetered on that line a few times esp. as i was hitting growth spurts but i’m past that now

Gotten my heart broken?yeah quite a few timesnot in like the “relationship that went south” way but just falling for straight guys over and over and the inevitability of what that comes with

Been to prom?yeah it was fun

Been in airplane?tons. i’ve been on 5 in the past 2 weeks

Learned another language?i learned a fair bit of chinese in middle/high school. still retain more of it than i expected to. tried learning korean on duolingo for a bit but i don’t think that course is quite there yet on the platform

Wore make up?not that i recall? unless like facepaint counts

Dyed my hair?plenty! probably gonna do it again soon

Had a surgery?i had my wisdom teeth taken out, i think that’s about it

Met someone famous?winston and i met mat kearney before a concert in march so that was cool

Stalked someone on a social network?it’s easier than you’d think

Been fishing?yes but not in the past like 10 years

Been rejected by a crush?every time babey

What do I want for birthday?UHHHHHHHH wowzers idk. new apartment furnishings maybe?

Do I like my handwriting?it’s ok! not my fave i’ve seen but still good

Where do I want to live when older?dunno yet! probably a big city of some sort but likely not nyc or la

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?not in recent memory anyway. 

What I’m really bad atwidowmaker

What my greatest achievments arewinning hackmit probably? also i graduated so that’s fun

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to menot today, satan

What I’d do if I won in a lotteryinvest, donate, splurge

What do I like about myselfi like to think that i’m friendly? and pretty good at avoiding conflict

My closest Tumblr friendgrunge contrast bois

Any question you’d like??

Are you outgoing or shy?shy for the most part around people i don’t know. occasional bursts of outgoing if i need to meet people but that’s few and far between

What kind of people are you attracted to?people who make me laugh and look like they give good hugs. bonus for beards and being bigger than me.

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?probs not but who knows! i’m open to the possibility but not exactly looking right now so odds are low i guess

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?depends on who with? but also i just like... can’t contribute much beyond theorycrafting lmao

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?noa and i had a p deep talk driving from mt. hood to multnomah falls

What does the most recent text that you sent say?“uh slateport city”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now?as of late i’ve listened to a lot of sophie by the altogether, somebody else by the 1975, 200% by akdong musician, happy pills by norah jones, and swag午覺 by outlander

Do you like it when people play with your hair?i guess i don’t really mind it? but it’s not something i think about often

Do you think there is life on other planets?hopefully!! i just think that’s a super cool concept and the statistical likeliness of it is so high

Do you like bubble baths?have not had one in like 13 years but i imagine they’d still be just as nice

Do you like your neighbors?yeah they’re like my best friends

Where would you like to travel?japan (likely tokyo) and dubai (once they make being gay not prison-worthy and uhhhhh stop exploiting basically slave labor thanks)

Favorite part of your daily routine?i like just aimlessly browsing the web and pursuing what interests me

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?my frame i guess. i just don’t like being so thin but thems the bones i’ve got

What do you do when you wake up?wait until the last possible second before getting out of bed and dressed

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?idk??? i think i’m fine rn but i guess i wouldn’t mind a bit darker or like... at least the ability to tan instead of burn lmao

Do you ever want to get married?i think so!

If your hair long enough for a pony tail?some parts of it are surprisingly long but since my sides/back are short it’s not conducive to a ponytail. not that i’d really want that anyway

Would you rather live without TV or music?tv easily

Have you ever liked someone and never told them?it’s usually like... fall for someone who’s straight or otherwise unavailable, try to avoid feeling that way, fail, watch as feelings gradually become so overwhelming i get anxiety, tell said person, get rejectedexcept replace usually with alwaysso yeah i typically end up telling people i like them but it’s usually prefaced with “i know you can’t do anything about this but” and then ensuring we can still “just be friends”the cycle sucks but i figure it’s better to let someone know why i’ve been acting weird instead of just having them think i’m strange

What are your favorite stores to shop in?uniqlo for fashion, target for feeling a strange sense of comfort

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?i want to say yes but i also know i have very limited patience for people who show no remorse or do something extremely heinous

Do you smile at strangers?sometimes i do a small grin just so i don’t look like i’m glaring (thanks resting bitch face)

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?i don’t think so???

Ever wished you were someone else?transiently i guess? 

Favourite makeup brand?don’t use it

Last thing you ate?cheeky nando’s with the fam for dinner last night

Ever won a competition? For what?i won hackmit with a few friends for doing a cool coding thing! and a battle of the bands with the hip hop orchestra to open for lil dicky and t-pain. also i won a beauty pageant freshman year lmao

Ever been in love? i don’t think so. my usual interpretation of this is “reciprocated and romantic” which hasn’t happened yet

Facebook or Twitter?fb for messenger, twitter for content at this point

Twitter or Tumblr?tumblr i think, i just know the ins and outs here better than most other platforms

Are you watching tv right now?nope

What colour are your towels?gray or teal

Favourite ice cream flavour?vanilla is a good ol’ reliable. also a fan of moose tracks, cookie dough, mint chocolate chip, watermelon... the list is endless

First person you talked to today?line

Last person you talked to today?line (it’s like the only text i’ve sent since i woke up two hours ago)

Name a person you hate?tr*mp

Name a person you love?deja vu?

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?see 127

Do you tan a lot?NO I BURN

Have any pets?parents have a dog named zoe and i love her. i don’t own any myself

Do you type fast?i can? but i’m often laying on my side only using one hand to type so oops

Do you regret anything from your past?i dunno... a lot of the mistakes i’ve made help me get here today. so i’m not too worried.

Ever broken someone’s heart?not that i’m aware of. i’ve rejected a couple people before but that’s about it

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?yes.

Is cheating ever okay?no. though i used to think it was like 8000% unforgiveable like you cheat once, i cut you out of my life, but i saw an interesting video exploring why people cheat and possible ways to fix a relationship after an affair which helped change my thinking. it’s still a WILDLY super shitty thing to do and i would never, but it’s not a final nail in the coffin to me any more. but still an EXTREMELY quick way to shatter trust

Do you believe in true love?not like a fairy tale, but i do believe that you can reach a point of pure trust and love and support with a partner

What your zodiac sign?leo

Do you believe in ghosts?deja vu pt. two electric boogalooi don’t think so

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?“Dad! Dad, are you listening?!”(followed by “They put tempura in sushi in Canada!”) from my brother’s husbandand here’s the image of my desktop bg, sorry for the black borders idk what’s up with that

[marihadalittleann]

Tagged by @mercymm what a pal, what a friend, what a cool goose

Rules: Answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (i wont be tagging that many lmaooo)

— What was your last…

1. Drink: Bottle of water

2. Phone call: I think I Hayden, a frand and QP

3. Text message: Me boyfriend, to update him on my cats shenanigans 

4. Song you listened to: Don’t Forget Me by Way Out West

5. Time you cried: uhhhh couple days ago over school I think. 

6. Dated someone twice: ye

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: also ye

8. Been cheated on: yeah it sucks

9. Lost someone special: yeah, but not  super recently.

10. Been depressed: woo boy howdy 

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah too much red wine and me are enemies

— Fave colours

12. Navy Blue

13. Periwinkle 

14. Mint Green

— In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yep

16. Fallen out of love: nop

17. Laughed until you cried: so many times

18. Found out someone was talking about you: nah

19. Met someone who changed you: yeah, for the better

20. Found out who your friends are: i be knowin that shit

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: yee

— General

22. How many your Facebook friends do you know irl: I generally only friend people I know IRL bc unless prompted I don’t use facebook that often

23. Do you have any pets: Yeah, A maltipoo named Max that lives with my mom, and my cat Merlin. We briefly had another cat recently but he had to be put down bc health reasons.

24. Do you want to change your name: nah

25. What did you do for your last birthday: Went on a cruise B)

26. What time did you wake up today: 7am, I had lecture

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping or reading some yoi daddy kink shit bc im tharsty

28. What is something you can’t wait for: The job I applied for to come through, and summer break.

29. 29th question??? where ya be

30. What are you listening to right now: Kill Our Way to Heaven by Michl

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Mom’s boyfriend’s name is Tommy. 

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: How dirty my room is rn, and my lack of motivation to do anything about it

33. Most visited website: Tunglr, ao3, university class shit, and amzon for prom planning. I’m buying a 3 lb box of moss. 

34. Hair colour: Brown

35. Long or short hair: Pretty short, but I need my sides clipped.

36. Do you have a crush on someone: probably?? 

37. What do you like about yourself: I make good food sometimes, and I’m very passionate about safe sex.

38. Want any piercings: I want my cartilage pierced at some point but probably after nursing school.

39. Blood type: A+

40. Nicknames: Mari, Merm, meme, Nurse McMurse, Nurse McMurder when I’m peeved, and Nurse McHearse (i resent that one).

41. Relationship status: In relationship

42. Sign: Gemini 

43. Pronouns: She/her, they/them, he/him I don’t have a preference.

44. Fave tv show: Grey’s Anatomy or Broad City when I’m not being weeby

45. Tattoos: None, but I have a list of ones I want after nursing school. 

46. Right or left handed: Right

47. Ever had surgery: Tonsils and wisdom teeth removed

48. Piercings: My ear lobes and my septum 

49. Sport: Used to play softball, used to march flute, now I bike some when I can.

50. Vacation: I went on a cruise to the keys and Mexico around my birthday last year in May. It was super fun!

51. Trainers: what does this mean? I wear vans a lot?

— More General

52. Eating: I just ate a BBQ plate from cookout. Good stuff.

53. Drinking: Water with my meal, but now sparkling raspberry water. Luv that carbonation. 

54. I’m about watch: Grey’s Anatomy. I’m rewatching for like the 3rd time bc it’s my feel good show.

55. Waiting for: My roommate to come back with ice cream

56. Want: a job pls im so poor

57. Get married: Maybe? I’m neutral when it comes to marriage. 

58. Career: Nursing, most likely specializing as an OBGYN or in midwifery. All about that reproduction and sex education. 

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, but forehead kisses are bomb af

60. Lips or eyes: Lips.

61. Taller or shorter: No preference.

62. Older or younger: Around the same or older.

63. Nice arms or stomach: don’t care.

64. Hookups or relationships: Relationships.

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: both somehow, I’m a shit lord and mom friend at the same time. 

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: Yep

67. Drank hard liquor: Also yep

68. Turned someone down: Yes sir

69. Sex on first date: Nope

70. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t know, but probably not?

71. Had your heart broken: A little

72. Been arrested: Nope

73. Cried when someone died: yeah, i’m a crier 

74. Fallen for a friend: many

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: I try

76. Miracles: Yeah, healthcare makes me want to at least

77. Love at first sight: Nah, I’m probably demi romantic though? Haven’t sorted that one out yet lmao.

78. Santa Claus: There’s probably someone named Santa Claus on this very earth.

79. Angels: Yeah

— Misc

80. Eye colour: brown, with some weird black spot things

81. Best friend’s name: Me squad is full of best frands

82. Favorite movie: Oh fuck I don’t know, Probably Batman: Under the Red Hood, but also maybe Kill Your Darlings. 

83. Favorite actor: I don’t really have a favorite, but speaking of Kill Your Darlings, Dane Dehaan has a cool aesthetic going on.

84. Favorite cartoon: Voltron: Legendary Defender. 

85. Favorite teacher’s name: My high school choir director/piano teacher. She helped me a lot with confidence issues, and is one of the best people I know really. She was kinda like a school mom, I love her a lot. 

I’ll tag @dukecitrus, @spicyboifriend, @cookiesandcas, @lupcult, @elegaicsongstress, @baffledapple, or anyone else who’s just itching to do this.

[queenangst]

it took all my braining just to come up with that much so. take it. take the human keith and run i fully enable this. and also let's talk how Keith wouldn't put walls up to keep people from getting close and befriending him

edit: this got really, really, really long. um. 

look at u two enablers, what the heck:

keith who grew up with both parents around 

parents who have actual names. fuck. do i know them, though? still. no.

keith who had a “normal” childhood - he’s got friends and he goes to public school and his family loves him. and maybe he has a sibling!

bye bye, abandonment issues

i like to think he’d still be a bit of a loner. withdrawn, but the friendships he does make are strong and lasting, and, like canon keith, he is deeply loyal to them

he still wants to go to space, and his parents encourage him. and he makes it to the garrison 

i think here is where things begin to play out a bit differently. there are so many ways this could go, but i like to think keith and shiro do end up being friends 

i don’t think they’d be super close (pre-canon/kerberos). 

more on that: i think the reason pre-canon shiro was drawn to being friends with keith was because he must have seen a lot of himself in him. the drive, the recklessness, the way he reacts to things and to authority.

with a different upbringing, that changes, and i feel like maybe keith would have a little more of the same star-struck attitude the other paladins do re: shiro 

but! they’re still quite good friends pre-kerberos 

this changes what happens, though, when shiro goes missing

keith has some friends from the garrison [instead of his implied canon loneliness], one of whom is katie, who he recognizes as pidge when she infiltrates the garrison

so keith keeps his anger and his fear and his grief and stays at the garrison, and he and pidge share a quiet burden as they work to figure out together the truth

this, of course, changes how lance is still a cargo pilot, sorry, my dude

however, it does mean that keith and lance come into contact. and they warm up to each other and lance lets go of the jealous/attention-fed rivalry and they muck around and bicker but it’s all in good fun

ALSO keith and hunk are good for each other and they ground each other—hunk helps when keith gets into his rants and moods about shiro, and keith helps hunk when he freaks out or panics

also. what a squad, am i right. what a squad. they have therapeutic study sessions and colorful flashcards 

and this also affects pidge in that during her garrison time she too does not shut people out, that’s right, everyone is opening up to each other and communicate a lot it’s very good

boom boom it’s shiro, motherfuckers

“guys it’s fine i’ve been hiding this hoverbike for a year”

“keith are u trying to be cool and e d g y wow i can’t believe we’re friends”

uh. literally no one knows how to fight on the squad. i feel like keith learned fighting bc he was angry and he lashed out a lot and he was picked on as a kid and. that doesn’t happen in this au, so, now the squad is all dweebs

but they manage to bang their way through the room and get shiro on the bike and then they floor it

“keith do u know how to drive, what the fucK!” 

“trust me”

“i really dooOOOOOOOOONT”

instead of heading out to the shack, no one knows where the fuck that is, what the fuck, they just run away from garrison officials

and then they find some caves and they’re like, oh, we can stay here for a bit and think about our next move because wow what we just did was really dumb 

lo and behold! it’s blue ! whats up homegirl 

well, off to space! 

suck it, you’re homesick! and you’re homesick! and yoU’RE HOMESICK everyone is hOMESICK and keith misses his family so much it hurts

but u know what? they all talk about it 

wow!! communication !

btw keith’s dad teaches him how to use a knife. kind of. so keith actually can kinda fight, but he doesn’t have a lot of experience. and he doesn’t have A Knife (TM) that he carries around 24/7. ok maybe he has a butterfly knife bc he thinks theyre cool 

so he can wield a knife, but he might also accidentally lightly stab himself, too, so, who knows 

training sucks everything sucks and instead of study sessions they start having training sessions outside of their usual ones. colorful flashcards become sparring. pillow fights become training. they also have miss-earth sessions where they just hang out and talk about the things they miss from earth, like their families, but also bacon

actually keith being human? solves so many problems

the team might not be good at fighting. but they’re able to form voltron almost effortlessly, and their training is hard but they work together really well 

what happens to the blade of marmora, annie? 

uh. that’s a real good question. really good question. 

it actually ends up with shiro as their connection to bom because of ulaz

consider this tho. the trials of marmora are for shiro - as leader of voltron - to prove that he is worthy and that voltron is worth allying with

shiro !!! in the bom suit !!! 

i mean this in both the angst way and the wOW can u imagine that boi in the fucking bom suit

also when shiro pushes keith about being leader... keith pushes back. he tells shiro his fears. what he thinks. he tells shiro he doesn’t want to be leader 

he’s willing to step up to the plate, but he... still doesn’t want to. they talk about it. a lot. shiro teaches him about leadership, and keith grows bc of it. 

shiro goes missing again, go figure

keith, as promised, takes up the mantle. but the transition is smoother, easier. there’s more trust. the team listens to each other, works together to make sure they’re still okay.

i think keith tries to shut people out... but he can’t. number one, because he really just can’t bottle it up, and number two, because the others barge into his room and hold a sleepover and they talk about their feelings, so he also really can’t, but hey, some slight character conflict

things go sO much better

oh i forgot to write about this scene earlier so im gonna write about it now. keith goes after the quintessence and he burns himself and it damages his hand instead of healing it 

alternatively, he stays with the others and that druid scene that’s meant to be foreshadowing for keith’s galra heritage is just. nonexistent, lol

but i like to think he burned his hand bc how fun is that 

think about keith recovering 

think about it

think. about i t that’s some good hurt/comfort right there yes sir it is

anyway shiro comes back and everyone returns to their roles, i guess?

sorry that’s kind of boring 

here’s something less boring

allura is the one who leaves

EDIT: ok from here on it gets a little allura-centric but that’s a) because i don’t really talk about what happens to the team and b) the role switch is so interesting

they make it so that coran can be in charge of the castle, because fuck, they’re smart! they can do it! they press some buttons and allura does some commanding at the castle and they get coran in the system

also now two people can open wormholes and shit that’s like, convenient, dude

allura thinks about remaining with the team on the castle. like she could go back to her role

but instead kolivan offers training

at first she refuses. she’s since made peace with the fact that bom is galra, but she’s still wary

but then she decides she should. not only does this allow her to train and for her to feel like she’s doing more, but it also gives her room to see how non-empire-related galra act and the way they form relationships and their way of working 

she does return to the team—it’s switched between her training here and there with the bom, doing fieldwork and honing her fighting and shapeshifting skills and learning more about diplomacy and being a leader and being on a different team, and then she’ll go back to the castle and this changes how she works with team voltron!

also. i know we were just talking about shiro in a bom suit but.... allura. girl would rock it. think about th a t

also, if this means allura, too, goes through the trials of marmora, ahaha, sign me the fuck up

this is way behind but “u fight like a galra” doesnt happen

keith’s whole thing with zarkon? might not have happened

anyway

also that whole animosity etc between keith and allura? they butt heads because of differences in opinion but human keith removes the whole galra-altean conflict

ok now consider this 

they go to the parallel universe and not only do they meet sven, they also meet [kogane] akira who uhhhhhhh is half galra keith, and everyone’s like, wtf ?

sorry i keep jumping around the timeline. fuck the timeline, am i right

back to season 4

keith is with team voltron when the whole naxzela thing goes down

whoop whoop

allura is the one out there haHa

wait im sorry dont die i love u

so allura is a self-sacrificial character as well. either she

is like keith and rams toward the shield thing, hoe dont do it

or she and coran team up, shoot the shield with the castle, and allura gets in and faces off haggar in a parallel to their first fight

she almost loses against haggar...

until she’s saved by prince lotor who crashes his ship into the side and walks in like “hi mom take this” and like, shoots her in the face

ok he doesn’t say “hi mom” bc he doesn’t know but u know. “hey witch bitch” or “fuck u” or “u ruined my team and my family and im here to fuck u the fUCK UP”

instead of coming to save voltron and keith and shit

he comes because he’s tracking down haggar because he’s pissed about what she did to narti 

wow i love lotor

anyway haggar gets taken down and she flees (and now both haggar and zarkon are weakened) and allura and lotor stare at each other and allura’s like “i dont like u and i dont trust u but i guess we both have a common enemy maybe we can work something out”

and then she threatens him again

and that’s how we line up with canon!

[severalbakuras]

time

to

finish

s3

im not prepared

(apologies to mobile users for the long post)

episode 5:

intro is a pink screen. it’s established pink is a mourning colour. hrmmm.

oh its an eyeball SHIRO

that’s not a good looking room to be in

that HAIR

hallucinating already, this is Not Good.

so he’s like totally alone in that room that is just bad practice right there. supervisor’s gonna get fucked if they get caught.

and. another shiro. one who’s kept clean-shaven. oh ok i know where this is going i think.

operation kuron is so unsubtle that i think we’re in for several layers of bait-n-switch until it turns out shiro never actually existed. schrodinger’s Shiro. shirodinger. 

he escaped waaaaaay too easily - yeah. called it.

‘stage 3′ so stage one is ??? and stage two is this guy.

ok so shiro obvs remembers some things but i find it interesting that we’ve had no internal thoughts beyond memories of the tube/surgery. like he’s not thought about voltron or the paladins or allura and coran like he has no idea if they survived or not. nothing at all by the five minute mark.

HAGGAR FINALLY I’VE MISSED YOU SO

yeah you keep an eye on that boy. im sure absolutely nothing will happen to this guy.

self-cauterization holy shit.

“what killed you?” is the first spoken line of dialogue from shiro i think. everything else is just vague confusion noises and/or battle grunts iirc. we haven’t even had an internal line of thought yet (which i know don’t rly happen in this series like everyone tends to speak aloud but still he’s ALL alone). i think that’s significant, somehow.

how the fuck has he not frozen to death in that skinny suit.

SHIRO NO THAT COULD BE AN ACID LAKE

“subject Y0XT39″ i will eat a raw garlic clove if this turns out to be the real shiro.

wow that’s rly bad for blood circulation like way to make him lose his hands jackasses.

so these two are space cannibals. neat.

if you’re trying to convince people of who you are why would you just say your first name? he WANTS these guys to know who he is, there’s no point being cagey. say your surname shiro go ahead.

knowledge of who the paladins are rly is being kept tight under wraps. so long as nobody ever thinks to check out any planet where galra were known to have integrated into local alien communities to the point of children.

i :) wonder :) who :) might :) do :) that :)

(i wonder how earth’s doing. everyone has family down there who misses them (besides keith since he’s living in a shack in the desert and nobody from the MILITARY-ish training academy told his dad to come pick him up apparently))

lotor i swear to fuck don’t you dare pull a dreamworks smirk DONT DO YOU DARE

so galra channels are hackable

that big guy’s totally having a SUPPRESSING FIIIIIRE moment

i rly like this winter backdrop i love being able to see the brushstrokes on the snow (like digital ones but they count).

he’s starving but he doesn’t take a single bite of the food onscreen can’t tell if suspicious or #mood bc i don’t like people watching me eat either lol

so operation kuron isn’t something widely known then or Hold up those robo-soldiers have no reaction whatsoever to a unit falling down until the hangar doors close.

ok those two guys in the cave HAVE to be in on it or shiro would’ve died on that planet. why keep the ship above a Death Planet for him to be permitted to escape to unless they had someone down on the Death Planet who could send him back to the right ship to deliver to voltron without him knowing he was being played?

like this is ALL phase 3.

‘stop spying on me’

‘do your fucking job’

HA. IDEAS. IN ZARKON’S HEAD. AHHAHAA

i think this is the first time i’ve seen lotor angry like haggar gets under his skin so easily i hope they talk again soon. ‘I AM THE LEADER’ his VOICE damn.

ok so like i already know lotor is half-galran and he’s probably half-altean too like in the original series with the hair and all. but i don’t think haggar is his mother even though she’s also altean. he’s hyper-focused on not being like his father in that scene but he also seems the type that he’d leave a snarky comment about his mother too if she were. and she doesn’t ever refer to him as her son, only zarkon’s. she’d surely say ‘our’ son, unless she officially disowned him as part of his banishment and hates his guts but then surely he’d have at least SOME reaction to seeing her unless he was, like, literally banished at birth and doesn’t know who she is and that he’s half-altean. bc if he knew he was he’d connect the dots between ‘only altean on the ship’ and his dad v quickly.

like i do know the story behind exactly how original lotor (aka sincline) is half altean and it’s Unpleasant and makes zarkon a fucking monster and i doubt this series would even imply that that was the case here but if it did and our lotor knew this was the truth behind his parentage that could explain his lack of reaction to haggar AND his deeply intrinsic rejection of his father.

oh come ON the ship is stocked with oxygen!!!!!! why would a ship that’s intended for a robot pilot need oxygen!!!!!!!!

seven days, when he’s already in a bad way re blood loss/injury (like a healing serious wound burns calories and fluid by the truckload) and didn’t have much water to go on beforehand. if i didn’t think something was up before man.

finally, almost 20 minutes in, we finally see him think of his teammates. took long enough.

black lion notices. hrm.

episode six:

nice shooting lancFCUKING KILL THEM ALLURA

SAME LANCE

HUG YOUR SON SHIRO actually no you’re not shiro stay the fuck away from him

‘weird headache’ since this isn’t a dramatic romance show, he’s not got Invisible Anime Disease #5 so there’s absolutely a tracker in his brain.

A HUNK MOMENT THAT ISN’T ABOUT FOOD I’M CRY (like it intersects with pidge but i don’t mind it’s nice that he gets to show his own brains in what feels like forever)

shiro automatically stepping back in ‘this is what we do mode’ is SHRHCHCH. NO. even if he WASN’T a clone he’s still recovering and is missing out on potentially months of their relationships changing and being redefined. he can’t just step back in like that.

ok so like???? if there’d been more scenes like this early on??? i’d probably be totally into klance?? like keith doesn’t really grasp the depths of the issue with lance judging by how the shot holds on lance leaving and his facial expressions and all but keith tries and lance tries and there’s no cheap joke thrown in there’s no rejecting that there was any emotional connection. it’s not solved the problem lance has by any means but it’s lance opening up to keith about his vulnerabilities and worries and it’s keith doing his best to help him both as a leader and a friend and the narrative doesn’t turn either of them into a joke for it. THAT IS MY SHIT RIGHT THERE.

like i’m obvs lowkey into enemies-friends-lovers (bc otherwise i wouldn’t consider keitor or any of my other ships which i won’t name bc i’ve made it this far without comparing anything to warcraft so i won’t start now) but i guess i much prefer the friends-lovers stage. (especially when only one half of the pair considers the other as ‘enemy’ in the first place).

‘just whack it’ is a universal law that will last forever

SHIRO ARE YOU IN THE LEADER CHAIR. NO? SHUT UP.

fucking fake ass shiro he doesn’t even acknowledge keith stepping up to make a plan as leader like he always fucking wanted him to do he just sails on into his own plan without so much as a ‘sorry’. fuck you fake shiro. firo.

and keith just stands there like a lemon like this is ok ahrhfhg. firo i swear to god if you drag keith back down into the place he was on the gas planet before lance intervened i’m gonna be so mad.

interesting that we don’t get a reaction shot of lance when keith offers to stay behind instead of taking back red. considering how that was literally what the last scene between him and keith was about is all.

so clones are genetically identical so the black lion picking up on firo’s ~spark of life~ fading or whatever to rescue him isn’t odd. but the black lion knows your soul and it’s not happy.

(could be an issue when the real shiro returns tho but eh that’s a problem for futuretron)

I LOVE THIS LOYAL PETTY BASTARD

“Victory or death!” OH COME ON YOU’RE MAKING THE WARCRAFT REFERENCES FOR ME. LOKTAR OGAR

so perhaps lotor squad isn’t in on operation kuron?

i wonder what’s being whispered during the mind control scenes.

that ship looks like a space fox... or maybe a star fox.

in two minds about this part like right now firo IS right but they DO need to actually try and confront lotor at some point. it’s ALWAYS going to be a bad time bc lotor has figured out how to use plot armor to protect himself so sometimes you just need to attack that face down trap card and face the consequences or you’ll be stuck forever yknow?

OH IT’S HER. FROM THE SHIP. COOL i was wondering if that’d come up again.

oops he’s ambidextrous.

also i think ezor might be a little crueler than she lets on, she’s got some v. vicious expressions going on in this grapple.

ZETHRID THINKS ALLURA’S A WORTHY OPPONENT ZELLURA YOU ARE CLEARED FOR LAUNCH (in other news i am a terrible person)

honestly those are both equally high priority targets, either one WILL fuck things up in the future no matter if they follow firo or keith.

now lotor how do you know they were about to attack, unless you perhaps had a direct link into the lions communication lines, which have been kinda previously established as being impossible to hack?

(so that’s one point in them also knowing about project kuron)

YES KEITH THIS IS WHAT YOU DO BEST ON THE FLY INSTINCTIVE GOOD MOVE

hooooly shit lotor’s maaaad

get your hand off him firo.

“i’m sorry i had to step in back there” step in. STEP IN. LIKE YOU WEREN’T IN CONTROL OF THE ENTIRE MISSION START TO FINISH. he sets up ‘you were the leader and you weren’t good enough’ almost on purpose..

the former isn’t true because keith still stepped down and firo commanded all their movements from the ship and the latter isn’t true because no plan survives contact with the enemy keith basically had it as under control as shiro always did. considering the circumstances he did damn well AND he scored a ‘fuck you’ point against lotor by using lotor’s own new ship to wreck the teledove.

“i thought i had it under control” ;A;

HE’S BEEN THERE SINCE THEY ALL FORMED VOLTRON YOU FUCK. HE WAS GOOD AT THIS UNTIL YOU GOT HERE.

FUCK YOU FIRO.

damn that’s cold haggar.

episode seven:

i’m. um. huh. those certainly were memories i’ll need to pause on later.

this dramatic scene is being ruined by all the cute little triforces floating around.

my civil war theory is officially dead now i guess. goodbye, civil war theory. it was nice to have you as a handy aversion of the whole ‘X race is like this while Y race is like this’ trope that always shows up in sci fi and fantasy and sci-fantasy~

this music is giving me jack sparrow IN SPACE vibes.

oooh the dust particle effect in the light shafts in the air is pretty and a good attention to detail.

now see like why wasn’t his spirit projection thing back in season 1 more like this??? he has a character he’s got personality he’s just like his daughter i’d actually MISS this guy if that spirit projection thing had been like his true self and not a bland whatever he was he’s so forgettable i can’t even remember what he was like.

ZARKON WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. YOUR VOICE. YOUR EYES.

so like galra culture has a class/caste system and is kinda militaristic. explains a lot in the future i guess.

“WHAT IS THAT” is that the same cat narti has? and oh god no he’s a dork.

OH NO HE’S A REALLY BIG DORK AAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAA BABY ALLURA. SHE’S SO CUTE.

oh so he married honerva? oh no. OH NO SHE BETTER NOT BE HAGGAR. DON’T DO THIS.

“it was a customary gesture” tf is that all about.

“by willow!” is that the first canon mention of a deity? cool.

so the red paladin was technically the first paladin.

this thing is eldritch as fuck.

“Am I a leg?!” god i am so sad that you’re going to die horribly i love you.

now it’s REALLY eldritch.

god she really is haggar.

so alteans definitely age then (which proves empress allura was definitely dead a long LONG time before alt-eans went all mind-controlly).

honergar’s giving me major ‘that bloodbender who’s name i’ve forgotten’ vibes.

I KNEW QUINTESSENCE WAS BAD SHIT

he loves her so much im gonna cry.

so the lions cannot pick up on deceit then. they accept the will of their paladin over the safety of voltron as a whole and the other lions. they cast no moral judgement.

so there could easily be an evil voltron somewhere.

ZARKON NO HE’S HOLDING HER HAND ARGH.

so those weird purple cloud creatures from another dimension are puppeteering the corpse of the first black paladin, taking his basic desire for power and extending it into a galaxy spanning genocidal crusade because???

their home dimension must be a fucking hell dimension if things like that are trying to escape.

that guard made it seem like they sorta knew and accepted why their planet was destroyed so i guess zarkon returning from death was such a massive cultural shock that they all fell into line. bc otherwise i find it hard to believe that every single galra would join the battle (like yeah the blades exist but they’re a tiny movement) and not question what the fuck happened to his eyes or voice or how he came back from the fucking dead or why they’re meant to suddenly hate everyone.

ok so why do most of the galra have similar glowing eyes iirc? surely the vast majority should have the normal eyes that old zarkon and lotor have but they don’t. unless like successful generals are permitted to ‘live’ forever by taking the creatures into their bodies but then like they have far too much personality for that. the loktar ogar guy for example. what gives.

that’s kind of a leap at lotor’s motives but an understandable one, they don’t know how much lotor detests being like his father so i doubt he’d do the same damn thing his father was trying to do.

he’s baaaaack and he’s got no new tricks, zombieman zarkon’s still just as thick as the last time~

lotor’s gonna be so mad. and also this doesn’t actually explain why haggar lets zarkon run roughshod all over her much better plans prior to this because she doesn’t remember being his husband until this episode.

and also also imo this means haggar definitely can’t be lotor’s mother bc when we’re seeing things coran can’t possibly know like honerva on her death bed we’re probably seeing haggar’s vision of events and he doesn’t appear to be a factor in either of their lives but she remembers their wedding perfectly.

(unless he’s a zombaby but he can’t be because his eyes don’t glow).

hrm.

season four when.

[allofthisnonsenseplease]

please read this disgusting goopy fluff nonsense

and then fire me from Fandom so i can finally be free

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 i've been thinking about it and this au makes a lot more sense than i originally thought lmao

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 ?? which au?

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 basically like. if they didn't find steve's frozen body until like omnic crisis time

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 XD

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 oh just steve in overwatch au XDDD

but like what if discovering him was what inspired sep in the first place

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 =O

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 gabe is just like mad infatuated w ~captain rogers~ and jack is just kinda jumping up and down in the corner like HEY I'M HEREE

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 oh god it's anotuer of thoae laugh or cry moments!! X'D

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 XDDDDD HEY WE DID A WHOLE THING ABOUT JACK BEING W SOMEONE ELSE AND GABE BEING LONELY, IT'S TIME FOR JACK TO SUFFER IN THE SAME WAY

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 OKAY LOOK I WAS ONLY CRYING FOR GABE WITH JACK, THERE'S ALWAYS THE OPTION OF LAUGHING AT HIS TEARS

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 XDDDDDDDD gabe just has the Starry Eyes for steve and jack's been friendzoned lmaoooo jack doesn't know what to do bc he's never been friendzoned before bc he's never wanted a relationship before LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 XD omg i'm laughing this is GOOD i was wrong for doubting.

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 XDDDDDD he's also never been friend zoned before bc he's never had friends before |DDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 :D haha whoops poor jack issat why he signs up for the program? for the D?

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 AHAHAHA of course !!! gabe probably signed up bc he heard captain rogers was involved and he's alwaaayyys had a thing for captain rogers * w *

jack hates that he came here for the D and of course had to go falling for the only guy who just wants to be friends

everyone else will fuck him!!!! why won't gabe!!!!!!! he looks enough like steve, right ??? what's the problem

it's bc steve is a really cool dude jack. you don't have as much in common as you think.

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 omg

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 also steve doesn't have The Chin

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 just stick that knife in and twist it

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 XDDDD look i'm just saying if you can get the Mesmerizing Boobs w/o having to also deal w The Chin wouldn't you go for that one

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 yah i mean not personally XD but in general very yah

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 XDDDDDD gabe is in love and won't even agree to jack's semi-joking offers to have sex and just pretend jack is steve

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 oh my god jack

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 jack can't wait to finish this stupid program so he can knock steve out

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 that's the 'you poor baby' territory there

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 XDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 so is this fixable? or does jack just have to suck it (metaphorically) this time?

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 LOLLL well hm i didn't think that far |D

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 XD

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 all the possibilities i can think of end sadly qoq

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 are celebrity crushes the same as normal ones? maybe it fades? or do they meet steve?

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 hmmm well i assumed they meet steve and he's just as nice as everyone said and gabe is just over the moon but!! if we go w the "celebrity crush is kinda superficial" we can probably fix this THE PROBLEM IS STEVE IS SO GREAT THERE'S NO REASON FOR GABE NOT TO LOVE HIM IF THEY ACTUALLY GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 oh! what if it's not, but Steve isn't with their squad during the omnic crisis? So Jack's the one that is always out in the field with Gabe, and Jack's the one Gabe sees day in and day out pushing himself and risking himself and being a hero. So, slowly, as they're out there trusting each other with their lives, Gabe's crush just kinda switches over to Jack. And by the time they're done fighting, Jack still doesn't realize that, and is Fucking Done with all this because it got him nothing but a broken heart when emotions were not even supposed to be part of the deal, so he's getting ready to quit and Gabe's all disappointed, and before Jack leaves, Gabe pulls him aside and is like, listen, I wanna say this to your face in case I never get another chance--I love you.

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 zkdjfnakdfjnfakf!!!!! jack is like yOU MOTHERFUCKER I NEARLY WAS OVER YOU TOO

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 XD Jack responding by trying to pull away and asking Gabe if he got hit on the head or something during that last mission, trying to play it off as a  joke. 'It's only me, Gabe. Not Captain Rogers.'

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 awwwww jac k gabe, at least, looks embarrassed lol

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 'Enough with the teasing. I know I was a little star-struck, but I'm being serious.'

'A little?' Jack laughs shortly and turns away to go back to packing. 'Gabe, my parents don't love each other as much as you love him.' And then, because he can't resist rubbing salt in his own wounds, he brings up his lowest point. 'Man, I was honestly surprised that you didn't jump at the chance to pretend I was him. Haha. Guess it's hard to settle, though--'

Gabe grabs his shoulder and spins him around to look Jack in the face. His eyes are much too wide, and Jack winces, realizing that he made a mistake and gave himself away. His gaze slides off to the side as Gabe speaks.

'Jack...did you...?'

'I just wanted you to shut up about him!"

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 KJSNAKSNFJASF

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 '...I was right there in front of you the whole time, but I wasn't ever good enough. Not even as a substitute.'

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 NOOOOOOOOOO

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 :D YAAAAAAAAAY

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 Gabriel doesn't even know what to say for a second because, yes, for awhile there he was so infatuated with Steve he didn't notice anything else, but Jack is his partner. They've had each others backs through everything and how could he not fall in love - really in love - with the man who distracted him from the agony of all the injections with gallows humor and childhood stories, who sat quietly beside him on the dropship processing the horrors they had witnessed, who again and again  was ready to give up his life for him?

And Jack still thinks Gabriel never noticed him... After everything, how could he not?

lol jack just wants senpai to notice him

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 XD

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 Gabriel decides kissing Jack is a much better plan than staring at him blankly while trying to sort out how to articulate everything he's feeling

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 Jack's surprised at first, warm in Gabe's arms, but tense. For just a moment, Gabe thinks that maybe this will get through to him, that Jack will understand, that everything will be all right. Then, Jack's fist catches him in the side, winding him, and his legs are suddenly kicked out from under him. Gabe finds himself on the floor, staring up while Jack wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Some trick of the lights behind him make his eyes look incandescent with his rage.

'What the FUCK was that for?' Jack demands. 'I've been busing my ass for YEARS to try to catch up to your goddamn idol, and NOW you want something from me? What? Is it finally sinking in that I'm the CLOSEST you're going to GET? IS THAT IT?'

'Jack, listen--'

'FUCK YOU, Reyes!'

He tries to step past out of the room, but Gabe is quicker. He grabs Jack and manages to drop him. They scuffle briefly. Jack's anger makes him hard to pin down, but it also keeps him from using his head to fight. Eventually, Gabe gets the upper hand and keeps it. He's got Jack pinned to the floor beneath him, glaring poisoned daggers and breathing too hard. There's a glassy sheen to his eyes that Gabe is equal parts amazed and horrified to realize are the start of tears.

'Jack, listen to me! Rogers is good, but he's not the guy I want on my six. He's not the guy I want to trust my life to. He's not the guy I want at my side for however long I'm on this earth. That's you, Jack. That's all you.'

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 I'M NOT CRYING YOU ARE

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 XD no i did my crying i cried for gabe jack can fukkin suck it!

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 XDDDDDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 Jack isn't fighting, but that doesn't mean he's given up. He's nothing if not stubborn. 'You're fucking with me.'

'No, Jack, I--'

'This is payback for all the times I teased you.'

'No. Jack...' Gabriel sighs, staring into Jack's eyes and seeing the conflict there. It kills him that he's inadvertently caused so much pain. 'How can I prove it to you? If I'm going to lose you, I at least don't want to watch you go, knowing that you couldn't even trust me.'

That gets a response. Jack looks away, but not before Gabe sees the fire start to die down. '...I trust you,' he mumbles.

'But not about this?' He's still lying on top of Jack, keeping him pinned to the floor, but he shifts to make himself more comfortable, folding one arm across Jack's chest to nestle his chin into, and curling his other hand over Jack's shoulder. He rubs gently at the tense muscles, trying to offer some reassurance that his affection is genuine.

'I... I don't... It doesn't make sense,' Jack insists. 'You love him.'

Gabriel takes a moment to consider, embarrassed by the strength of his old feelings about Steve and the effect they had. 'I love the idea of him. Never really got to know the man. I know you, though, and you're every bit the hero he is. I love you, Jack. Not just the idea of you, but you. Your dedication and drive, your strength, the way you look out for your team. I love your recklessness, even though you've scared the hell out of me often enough. I love the way you can fall asleep anywhere, even if it takes you a while to nod off. I love the way you're so stupidly picky about your food. I love your dumb, bleached blond hair.' He closes his eyes and nuzzles Jack's chest. 'I love feeling you close to me, love the way you smell, love how warm you are.' Playfully, he squeezes one of Jack's pecks and peeks up at his face for his reaction. 'Love your chest. I love you, Jack. Have for a while now. Surprised you didn't pick up on that the way you picked up on that silly crush.'

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING THIS?

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 SHRIEKS!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S SO GAY!!!!!!!!

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 WELL THANK GOD FOR SMALL FAVORS XD

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 dkfjnafkjnasfkajnfd Jack just huffs and lets his head fall back against the ground, completely red. "Could've saved me a whole lot of time and heartache if you told me this, like, months ago."

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 XD Gabe has successfully tamed the wild jack

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 AMAZING "Can I kiss you agai-" Gabe starts to ask but Jack is already grabbing his face and pushing their lips together.

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 LMAO STEVE COMES TO THEIR WEDDING

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 Jack's settings immediately switch to KILL XD

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 AHAHAHAHA

Gabe grabs him by the wrist, yanks him over, and whispers into his ear that if he can be polite for the duration of the wedding, Gabe will set a goal to break the bed fucking him afterwards

Jack snorts and is like "we do that all the time"

Gabe shakes his head and jerks his head in the direction of torbjorn

"You're forgetting Torb's wedding gift to us"

Jack's pupils dilate and he just kinda nods

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 XD Good god. It's lucky for the world that Talon didn't brainwash Gabe, 'cause they coulda just led the strike commander around by the nose at that point XD

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 XDDDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 do you think jack would kick a puppy if gabe promised him really good sex afterward?

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 in a heartbeat

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 XD omg sex is the magnetic north for Jack's moral compass

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 y e p Jack even SHAKES STEVE'S HAND

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 W O W

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 granted his grip is way tighter than it needs to be and he gives steve a very icy look but STILL

SuspiciousPopsicle – 06/05/2017 XD

firesonic152 – 06/05/2017 Steve: wow your husband doesn't like me huh :smile: gabe: y eah