#though after rotj he was never exactly the same type of “mentally healthy” again

[darlin-djarin]

i tend to think about luke skywalker but in the perspective of him being a suicide survivor. truly trying to cope with the pressure of galaxy, truly facing his fears, truly understanding what his fears mean, etc.

that scene on dagobah, where he saw darth vader in that cave and killed him, but it was revealed that under the mask it was truly just him... that he had to kill himself, that he had to experience killing himself to truly understand what his fears were.

the horrible news he received from vader on bespin, that it wasn't himself under the mask, but rather his father, the one thing he was truly clinging onto to continue becoming a jedi... to staying with everyone... to stay alive. and realizing that the last thing he was clinging onto was all a lie in the end. the way he jumped, not knowing where he'd land... fully accepting that maybe this is the end, there's nothing left for him now. he'd never have to return to face the reality. but he survived, with the connection he made to his sister. maybe he was clinging onto whatever he could, no matter how little, or maybe leia reached out, or finally heard him just in time to save him, but that entire interaction with vader still affected him and his perception of his own value and self-worth. is the son of darth vader... really worth it? he shouldn't even be alive. he should've never been born. he should be dead.

that scene in rotj. "soon i'll be dead, and you with me". he was fully ready to accept the fact that he was going to die, but on his terms. he would do it for everyone else, not for himself. but he survived. he always does.

in the end luke skywalker was a good jedi because he chose selflessness instead of selfishness. that he was willing to kill himself to save the fate of the galaxy, rather than killing himself to stop his own suffering.