#though Amy arrived on the very day (thankfully AFTER the house was in flames

[marzipanandminutiae]

Diff anon,

You are so cool. I see you debunking myths, adding nuances to historical posts, and politely/pointedly telling jerks to push off.

AND YOU COLLECT DOLLS?!

it's too much, stop being so cool so the rest of us have a chance 🥰

That's so kind, Anon! But the great thing about coolness is that there's enough to go around. Everybody has their Thing, and there are people out there being cool in ways I can't even imagine. We all get to sit around gazing starry-eyed at each other and putting impostor syndrome to flight, and that is amazing.

Speaking of dolls, though:

"Maman, I think our new sister might be a giantess."

Celandine is sitting atop a stack of books here, making her look even more massive compared to the other three on the shelf. Hopefully Leonore (far left; late 1860s French fashion doll) will cede her Biggest Doll status with grace. Between them, of course, are early 1870s fashion doll Mary Ann and resin Enchanted Doll BJD Maryse.

(Not pictured: Amy, a reproduction 18th-century English wooden doll made c. 2000; Nellie, an 1880s china doll; two vintage Barbies in need of further post-fire cleaning; and a poor French fashion dear with a broken head named Marinette who I'm still trying to figure out what to do with.)

[tina--bean]

By Candlelight

It’s Christmasssssssssss! 

Wow it’s been a long time since I wrote something. I honestly thought I lost it forever but something hit me tonight after watching Last Sumer (written, directed, and acted but Amy James-Kelly so if you don’t know about it I guess you better start cause it’s awesome and yours truly is a blur in the background) and 1,500 words later, this came out. I’m not sure what even happened. It’s not my strong point writing like this, never done anything like it so I kept it simple, with not much happening in terms of Maddie’s character and actions, hopefully that makes sense. 

Also inspired by:

“I’m going to find that girl underneath the mistletoe and kiss her by candlelight.” - Shakin’ Stevens 

It was another lonely Christmas for Sophie. Sure, she had Rosie to keep her company this year but it didn’t take away the empty feeling she got when she’s standing in a room of crowded people, some of whom are coupled, others married or even in the early stages of a relationship, and, of course, a few single. But of those singles, they are all straight. Meaning none of them are on the cards for her so back to the beginning: another lonely Christmas for Sophie Webster.

Rosie is a social person. She will easily talk to anyone and they would easily talk to her. Unlike Sophie who doesn’t work in an office, hasn’t modelled for companies or done fancy PR work in London (heck, she’s never even been to London); she doesn’t have the skills to say something witty or dumbfounded to strike up a conversation, and she most defiantly doesn’t ooze  sex appeal like her sister to talk to anyone she finds attractive.

So, once again, she found herself—especially at birthday and christmas ones—standing in the corner of the room, sipping on orange juice and vodka through a straw while watching the party unfold in front of her.

The party was being held in No.4 and she never felt more like a stranger in her own home. The place felt so small with the guests. Luckily she had Jack to talk to for the odd minute when he wanted a drink or snack because he’s too shy to go and ask their dad while he’s talking with adult friends, before Jack himself runs off to play the ones of his own age.

Sophie did get an invite from Alya to join her, Luke and Kate for a few drinks at their flat before it got cancelled because Yasmeen wanted an early Christmas dinner with her family after Zeedan found out her had to work on the the twenty-fifth.

Just as well really. Sophie still had mixed feelings for Kate so the idea of spending hours in a tiny flat with her didn’t her with the greatest joy.

Thankfully, the party died down after ten—mainly cause the likes of Fiz and Tyrone, Izzy and Dad needed to get back to put the kids to bed before Santa arrived.

By the time finished helping her mum and Tim tidying up everyone else’s mess, it was pushing past eleven. Not forgetting it was also Rosie’s birthday on Christmas Eve so she had left before with friends (‘cause she had them in all places) to go into town for drinks. They did invite Sophie but she kindly declined—told them she was tired.

Not long after the house was back looking like it’s usual state, Sally and Tim excused themselves upstairs, leaving Sophie by herself.

She had many Christmases in the house. Last year had been the first one she had spend somewhere else. What a change sunny Florida was compared to rainy Weatherfield.

She thought about the good, the bad and the ugly. The year Sally them her she had cancer was a tough one. The childhood times where the easiest. The ones where no bad memories were attached, she could remember anything but good times there, like most families. It was the more recent that were harder. One mistake she would never make again. One of the most memorable being the day she met Maddie. It wasn’t a bad one but what followed proved to be difficult. She never would have guessed the following year would prove to be one of her best and that’s the one she liked to remember the most. It was the one that stuck out the most. The night they bit the bullet and Maddie finally, openly, honestly, open-heartedly admitted she loved Sophie. The most perfect day. What a difference a year can make.

Sophie moved into the kitchen to get a candle in a holder she is has not so fond memories with. She realised she might as well toast Maddie’s memory now (as she has she has done every year since she died) in case she didn’t get a chance tomorrow.

It was Jack’s idea, it was his way of understanding so every year, they would light it in a glass case with the letter M on it picked out specially by him and say something, maybe ask something, say a prayer and blow it out, as if they were sending her a well wish. Jack may have still only been a young child but Sophie didn’t want him to forget Maddie.

She took the candle over to the coffee table in the living room and placed it down before sitting on the very couch they first declared their love to each other on. Sophie said her little prayer before leaning down towards the flame.

“I still love you,” she said, then took a moment to herself to think about the memories of that day before blowing out the candle.

It didn’t budge. It didn’t even move. Taking another deep breath, she tired again.

Nothing.

She pulled a face. Weird. She picked it up and brought it closer to her face.

“I still love you, too, you know.”

Sophie didn’t know how to describe what she just felt. She knew that voice from anywhere. She must have been dreaming or even she suddenly realised she had drank more together than she thought because not only did had she heard a familiar voice but she also saw what she could only describe as the spirit of Maddie sat next to her.

She nearly dropped the candle before ‘Maddie’ helped her put it down.

“How…?”

Sophie was gobsmacked. She believed in God and that there was something after death but ghosts and spirits? She wasn’t too sure.

“Don’t ask questions,” Maddie said.

How could she not? She had a million spinning in her head right now. Was she dreaming? She had to be dreaming, that was the only scientific answer.

“What are you doing here?” she asked. She couldn’t help it. She wanted to see if it was real, reach over and touch Maddie’s face again—one last time if she could but she was too frightened.

“What did I just say?”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I just wanted you to know I’m still here. I watch you everyday. I watch you with Jack, see how he’s grown up. I see you’ve changed jobs. I see you drink more. I see you try to move on. I see you’ve changed your wardrobe and you’re hair - I like it. But I also still see you’re shy. You’re still lonely. You still pray things were different.”

“Things are different,” Sophie whispered, wiping away a tear. She never expected this would make her emotional.

“I know,” Maddie reached out over and placed her and on Sophie’s knee.

Shocks ran through Sophie’s body. She could feel it. It was like Maddie was there but with the smallest touch. Like the weight of a feather. So light but so powerful, magical.

“I’m always with you though, in some way. That I promise you. You just don’t know it,” she smiled.

They looked at each other. Sophie studied every inch of Maddie’s fact. It had been so long. What she wouldn’t give for these moments again so she used that to memorise those features again.

It was Maddie who finally spoke again.

“You’re going to have to blow out that candle and I’m going to disappear. You have to pretend this never happened.”

“How can I?” Sophie pleaded, letting another tear fall.

“No questions,” Maddie shook her head. “I have one last thing and I have to go.”

Maddie reached into her pocket—wearing the clothes she had been that Christmas night 2014—and pulled out pulled out mistletoe before Sophie’s eyes.

If Sophie wasn’t so overcome, she would have laughed, told Maddie not to be so cheesy but she couldn’t she was still in so much awe.

“What do you say we have that kiss we never got when I said I love you?”

Sophie nodded slowly. She didn’t say anything. She still couldn’t, the overwhelming feeling was too much. Se let her body move closer to Maddie’s, and when their lips met it truly was an indescribable feeling. One Sophie had missed, had longed for. It felt so real. Still so light and so soft. Perfect with just them and by candlelight.

But sadly, when Sophie opened her eyes, Maddie was gone.

Just like that she was alone again. The candle was blown out and, for some reason, it made Sophie smile. With it, she took herself to bed, and even thought she knew she couldn’t feel it, she fell asleep knowing Maddie’s was right behind her.