#those r the only compliments i will give based on appearance the other ones are just weirddd

[molluskzone-moving]

i hate being called male terms or even receiving masculine compliments sometimes (i especially hate the word handsome...) but for some reason getting called boyfriend makes me 😳

[dsknsk]

I love how PM keeps playing with tropes. We've seen the tropes that they deconstruct within Limbus (in fact, it is a theory of mine that each Sinner is based on a stereotypical character from gachas), the way that they pick up the cyberpunk trope and basically throw it across the room, but another huge one is...

Carmen.

Look. I think that Carmen was and is based on the traditional 'Mary Sue'. Because...well, some traits that are said to belong to the 'Mary Sue', are turned brilliantly on their head by PM. So, for typical 'Mary Sue' traits, there's:

Pretty in the traditional sense. 'Mary Sues' always look perfect, peerless and never have to work hard to maintain their image. While, as far as I know, there hasn't really been made an in-universe compliment on Carmen's physical appearance...you'd rather stop and listen to someone who at least looks like they can be trusted wouldn't you? She's likened to the sun, as Oswald called her that, and is inside the light. (Also, out-of-universe: she is certainly pretty in my eyes. She adheres to the modern beauty standards at the very least).

Related to the above: charming. The 'Mary Sue' often has an innate charm that attracts others to her. The way that Carmen has this is through her voice, which already was powerful enough to let her traverse the dangerous Backstreets unarmed, standing out from all those other Backstreets preachers somehow and draw in the most cynical noblemen, but is even more charming after death. She doesn't even need to give a breaking speech or anything, as we've seen, she just gives you questions and comments on things. Which falls in line with...

Powerful, yet without having to break a sweat. Even before dying, she was already drawing in people without having to get physical (at least, none we know of). The only time we fight her as of yet (Kether realisation), Angela needs to use an attack that depletes all her HP to win, after five phases have already passed.

The 'Mary Sue' is often a so-called spotlight stealer. She will have a major role in the story, inexplicably, at least one other character will fall in love with her and she will overall have a large presence. So far, Carmen is the only character who has appeared in all three of the games, and if you count the Distortion and the Library, she has influenced WonderLab, Leviathan and Distortion Detective as well. She was also relevantly connected to the main cast of LobCorp and has influenced most of them in some way (i.e Ayin, Angela, Giovanni, arguably Kali, etc.). She remains to be relevant to several major story turns and has left her mark in them, in some way.

Unusual eyes. It's a stereotype that 'Mary Sues' always have unusual eyes. A common type is heterochromia (which is why I often jokingly call Hong Lu a 'Mary Sue'), but other types exist like sparkly rainbow or them changing like a mood ring or something. Carmen has red eyes, which are a common side-effect of body enhancements (Vergilius had them and the R Corp pack leaders too)...except, as we said, for as far as we know, Carmen hasn't had any. They are also a trait of Bloodfiends, but she isn't (yet) confirmed to be one. Either way, red eyes are a sign of the not-weak in the City.

Oftentimes, 'Mary Sues' are referred to as divinity, as pure grace from an utmost high all-powerful deity. They may or may not even be that deity. With Carmen, she practically had a cult of personality around her when she was alive...and she also had an analogue in another pale-skinned, red-eyed being that is also treated like this. She was described as this paeon of altruism and someone who genuinely wants the best for humanity.

Meaningful name. While not so immediately on-the-nose like 'Flowersparkle', Carmen's name can be seen as a reference to the infamous prototype of the femme fatale, once again hinting at that charming quality of hers.

Perfect. A 'Mary Sue' never fails at what she does...and that's where PM shows through that...

...Carmen is a parody on the 'Mary Sue'. A so-called 'Parody Sue'...but not played for laughs. The thing is that she is described as being all this...by those she already has enthralled. Those that aren't really involved with her - Hokma (was more loyal to Ayin), Binah (who wasn't in the picture during Carmen's life), and Roland (a stranger to LobCorp to begin with) have their say during Ruina and offer us another view at Carmen, our first, and one thing becomes clear:

A real 'Mary Sue' would be weird as fuck.

Carmen shows us how weird a 'Mary Sue' would actually be in a world that isn't sunshine and rainbows - an extremely uncanny, severely misguided being who nonetheless draws people to herself, who show a creepy amount of belief and devotion to her. Carmen thinks that the 'be yourself' message - so omnipresent in media - should prevail...in a world where the majority of people are either pieces of shit or are living such a dreary, miserable life that they just give up all hope.

But all of this is only revealed in the second game and pulls the player out of the dream. And so, Carmen does end up failing to convince some people like Dongbaek and Dongrang who manage to develop E.G.O instead.

Because despite what she was painted as in the past, in reality, Carmen is not a 'Mary Sue'. And she is not perfect.

That's why she's such a great PM character.

[procrastinatingsapphictrash]

My Tasha

Word count: 7334

Genre: Mostly angst but the ending is fluffy

Pairing: Natasha x fem!reader

Warnings: A sort of suggestive scene? I think that's all (let me know if I need to add any)

Request: congrats on those 500’ love!!! they are well deserved for all of your amazing words 🥺 i was just thinking how cute it be for nat to take a liking to reader, so she tries all those “seductive” tricks the red room taught her, but r just reads it as a cocky fuckboy thing and rejects her? soft!nat appearing later to ask her out? 🥺

Summary: Natasha tries to seduce you at a party but you misunderstand, assuming she's just using you. Both of you mope before realizing what happened.

A/n: Finally I finished this! It was supposed to be 2000 words max but I got carried away and @teenwonder I blame you since you were the one who sent in this idea. I actually really like how this turned out, even if it differs from the prompt slightly so I hope you guys like it too because this probably took at least ten hours to write and I have lost way too much sleep over it. Enjoy!

Natasha looks in the mirror and lifts the corner of her mouth into a slight smile. She looks hot and she knows it, spending hours in front of the mirror perfecting the look. Her eyeshadow screams seduction and her lipstick highlights and colours the natural shape of her lips. Her lashes are curled to perfection and her makeup is applied with the technique she learned years ago that was guaranteed to make people stare. Her hair is straightened because it matches the look and also the last time she straightened it you had complimented her hair so she knows you like it.

Her dress is black, the colour that looks best on her, with a neckline that is dangerously low and the bottom riding dangerously high on her thigh. Her heels are her go to ones for anytime she wants to seduce anyone, they manage to work every time and have become a small symbol of luck for her and tonight she needs all the luck she can get for tonight’s party.

Usually people are easy to seduce, she just has to figure out the likes and dislikes of her target and play up to them. Tonight shouldn’t be much different except for the big added aspect of her actually caring. She’s never had to seduce someone she’s wanted to before so she knows it’s going to be harder than normal. Taking a deep breath she pushes the nerves away and smirks at her own reflection before going to meet everyone in the main room.

Your breath hitches when she walks in and you quickly look away so it doesn’t seem like you’ve been waiting for her arrival. She’s gorgeous, she always is, but tonight there’s something about her that’s different, like she put more effort than usual. You force yourself to stay calm and look away, pretending to still be interested in the conversation you had been having with Carol that you zoned out of the moment Natasha entered the room.

Carol’s looking at you strangely. “What?”

She gives a half laugh. “You think I didn’t notice you drooling over Natasha.”

“That obvious?” you ask and she nods. “Damn.”

“Damn is right, she’s smoking!” Carol whisper-yells, glancing over quickly and then back to you.

“Carol!” you exclaim aghast.

She laughs again. “Don’t worry I’m not trying to steal your girl, after all I have Valkyrie.”

“Yes and you constantly remind me of that.” you mumble which she ignores.

“I’m just saying that some people are already staring at her and are going to be all over her soon, you need to make your move quickly.” she finishes.

“I will.” you tell her, with no real intention of going to talk to her.

“Sure you will,” she says quietly at first before yelling in Natasha’s direction, “Hey Romanoff! Come here.”

Natasha is surprised and she hopes Carol isn’t calling her over because she noticed her staring. Logically she knows that Carol doesn’t want to date you and is dating Valkyrie but it looked far too much like flirting in her opinion. There were whispers and giggles and at one point you got all flustered and embarrassed. She doesn’t like how possessive she feels over you when she has no right to but somehow when it comes to you she can’t quite control herself.

Showing none of the inner thoughts that go through her head she weaves her way over to you. At first some of the team is staring because they got startled by Carol’s yell but a small glare gets them to look away again.

“Hey.” Carol greets when she walks over.

“Hey.” she says back with a smile and it’s not her fault if the smile is a little flirtier than normal and directed more towards where you’re standing. “What’s up?”

“I want to go find Valkyrie and see what’s taking so long for her to come back from the bar but didn’t want to leave Y/n all alone at a party and since you were alone too I thought it would be a great idea for you guys to spend the party together!” she explains quickly. “I’ll come back soon!”

With that she leaves and you and Natasha are left looking at each other awkwardly. She wants to say something to break the silence but all her earlier confidence is gone and she feels like a schoolgirl with her first crush. Which is half true, she is definitely not a schoolgirl but she’s never had feelings like this for anybody before.

“You don’t have to stay here.” you offer, feeling bad that she was forced to come here and babysit you. Carol is your best friend but sometimes you just can’t stand her. This is so uncomfortable and Natasha is looking at you weirdly and you just know that she’ll apologize and leave so she can spend the party with people who actually know how to have fun.

“I know but I want to.” she says and you can’t help looking away shyly and smiling. She smiles herself at your cuteness, now slightly more confident knowing that she can make you react like that.

---

She smirks as for the thousandth time that night you struggle to keep your gaze from dipping below her neck. The dress was a good choice and judging based on your lack of eye contact you appreciate it. She knows you find her attractive, it’s hard not to know that with you staring at her boobs every few seconds but as the night goes on she’s more and more hopefully that you want to date her. Your flushed cheeks and occasional stuttering give you away.

Some guy interrupts your conversation and she resists the urge to punch him. She doesn’t know what he’s here for and shouldn’t punch people for interrupting a conversation with a girl she really really likes (she doesn’t allow herself to consider love just yet).

“Hey beautiful.” he greets her, stepping into her space and ignoring you. Against her better judgment she does punch him and giggles as he staggers backwards muttering about bitches under his breath. Really the punch shouldn’t have affected him that much, it was light and not in an area that would cause serious injury, he was just weak.

“Holy fuck.” you whisper under your breath.

“That didn’t bother you, did it?” she rushes to confirm, not wanting to have upset you by resorting to violence. She wasn’t quite sure how to take your holy fuck, whether you meant it in a good way or not.

“It was so hot.” you breath and then immediately clamp a hand over your mouth once you’ve realized what you’ve said out loud.

You’re about to apologize but she speaks first. “Really?”

You don’t understand how she makes her voice sound so smooth and seductive but it makes your knees weak. You’re nervous but there’s no point in taking it back now and it does seem like she’s flirting with you so you continue.

“Yeah, what can I say I like strong women who don’t take shit from men.” you say, moving closer to her. You haven’t flirted very much before but judging based on how her eyes darken slightly you think it’s working.

She reaches out and runs her hand down the side of your face slowly, making you shiver. “Looks like we have the same type.”

She keeps her hand there for a second then leans in slowly, giving you time to pull away. You’re frustrated by how long it’s taking and try to take a small step towards her so you can kiss her. It doesn’t work well since you forgot you’re wearing heels and lose your balance, making her laugh, her breaths dancing over your lips. And then suddenly she’s not moving slowly anymore and her lips are on yours and it’s all you can think about. Your other senses are all dulled and you kiss her harder to prove that this is real.

After a few seconds she pulls back. “I didn’t want people to see,” she explains when she sees your pout, “hallway?”

You’re not sure if it’s even possible for you to do anything but nod and take her hand as she leads you out. Inside of taking you to the main hall she takes you to a side one that doesn’t get used often and only the avengers have access to. Glancing around again to make sure nobody notices she pulls you inside and immediately you’re kissing again.

She presses you against the wall and you grip her shoulders tightly, your nails dipping into her bare skin. When she pulls back again she notes in satisfaction that your lips are smeared with her lipstick and she applauds her choice of bright red. Inside of going back to your mouth she kisses along your jaw and your neck, the lipstick marking you. Happy with her work she moves back to your lips, humming happily at the feeling.

She likes it even more when she feels your mouth open to let her in, taking the opportunity to explore your mouth with her tongue. You let out a small whine and the noise reminds her of where you are.

“Come up to my room?” she asks, smirking. You’re about to say yes when you notice her smirk. It bugs you for some reason, it makes it seem like she’s winning some sort of prize. Breathing heavily you look more closely at her and notice her heels. It’s her seductive mission heels. And then you realize she often wears a black dress to seduce people as well. You feel like a complete idiot, she doesn’t want you for anything more than a quick fling. This was a calculated move on her part.

“No.” you tell her firmly, only able to hold back your tears due to sheer anger. You thought that you were friends, how dare she try to play with your feelings just because she knew she could. Taking advantage of her shock you push past her, running out of the hall and back into the party. You look like a disaster so as quickly as possibly to rush to the doors and leave, running to your room, thankful that everyone seems too invested in their own conversations to notice you going.

You keep running until you reach your room. It didn’t look like she was following you but you don’t want to take any chances. Flinging off your heels because they’re uncomfortable you launch yourself onto your bed and curl up, pulling the covers over your head and putting your face into a pillow. You’re probably getting her lipstick all over right now but you don’t care, you don’t have enough energy to care right now.

You berate yourself again for how stupid you are. You got so caught up in your own emotions that you didn’t even consider that it didn’t mean the same to her as it did to you. It’s so obvious in hindsight. How after one kiss she wanted to sneak away so nobody saw, her glance back at the room before you entered the hall. She wasn’t looking for a relationship that much was clear. She invited you to her bedroom, not on a date.

You try to reason with yourself to make the pain go away but it doesn’t. You weren’t super close but you considered her a friend. Apparently she didn’t consider you one if she was willing to put your friendship aside for sex. You briefly consider that maybe she didn’t know about your feelings but you shake that thought off. She’s smart and reads people easily, she knew she just didn’t care.

You hate the tears that roll down your face. You can’t tell if they’re from sadness or anger and it doesn’t matter. Nothing seems to matter right now. Sobs wrack your body harder and you scream silently into your pillow. You hate this so much, you hate crying and you wish you could hate Natasha but you can’t. You hate yourself for letting yourself get hurt like this though.

---

Natasha watches you leave. She wants to run after you but the look on your face when you pushed by her stops her. You looked so disgusted that you had just made out with her and she can feel her heart breaking into a million pieces just thinking about it. She doesn't know what she did to get it. It’s obvious that you regretted kissing her but it hurts that you seem disgusted by it.

She allows herself a few moments to stand there and try to comprehend what just went on, a single tear dripping down her face. Swallowing hard she wipes it away and takes a breath to collect herself. She makes sure her dress is straight and runs her fingers through her hair so it doesn’t look too wild.

It doesn’t really matter what she looks like, she’s planning to slip out the back of the hall, the opposite way that you went, so it’s unlikely anyone will see her but she wants to be prepared on the off chance that the halls aren’t empty. Biting her lip to stay calm she walks out the end of the hall and slowly makes her way to her room.

She feels so stupid. She’s not even mad at you for feeling disgusted she’s mad at herself. She got so caught up in her own feeling that she never stopped to think about the fact that you don’t like her back. For a moment it seemed like you did but that was probably you being too nice to say no to her.

Her heels seem to mock her as she walks up the stairs with the way they clip clop. So much for lucky heels, she’ll never be able to use them again without remembering how badly she failed. She tugs on her dress from both the top and the bottom, trying to pull it longer in both directions. She felt so confident in it earlier in the mirror and especially when she caught you staring but now she just feels dirty and slutty.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” she mutters out loud to herself when she finally gets to her room. Looking in her mirror upon entry only makes things worse. She’s lucky that she didn’t see anyone in the halls because even after her attempts at cleaning up she looks like a mess. Her makeup is smudged all over and she can see the upset written plainly on her face.

Usually it’s easy to hide her emotions but usually she doesn’t feel such strong ones. You make her feel and she hates it. Only earlier today she loved that you made her feel. She loved the way her heart fluttered thinking about you and how she wasn’t always perfectly composed. You made her feel normal. But now she hates the way her heart betrays her, happy at even the thought of you.

Her only option right now is to forget and she thanks herself for always keeping a bottle of vodka in her room. A bad habit perhaps, but she rarely drinks from it and it is perfect for this situation. Drinking doesn’t help much, even after a while the hurt is still fresh in her mind, but it stops her from overthinking. When she eventually leaves the bottle and slips into bed it’s nobody’s business but hers if she cries herself to sleep.

---

You bury yourself deeper into your covers when you hear knocks at your door, hoping that whoever it is will go away soon.

“Y/n open up!” you hear Carol shout, still pounding on the door. “Unless Natasha’s with you, don’t think I didn’t notice you left the party earlier.”

Carol’s mention of Natasha makes a lump form in your throat and suddenly you feel the sudden urge to take a shower and wash all of her off you. You must have stayed silent for too long because Carol’s knocking stops and she speaks again.

“If you don’t say anything in five seconds I’m coming in.” she tells you.

You don’t know if you want her here or not. Carol is always good at making you cheer up but you feel embarrassed to tell anybody what happened.

“Four.”

Carol would understand though, she’s never been one to judge people for things and she was the one who helped push you towards Natasha, telling you she liked you back.

“Three.”

You realize that Natasha’s lipstick is still all over you and you’re still wearing the dress from last night. It’s too late to fix the clothes but you try to wipe the lipstick from your neck as quickly as possible (spoiler, it doesn’t go very well).

“Two.”

You’re still not sure if you want her to come in so you open your mouth to try to tell her to go away but the lump in your throat prevents you from speaking.

“One, I’m coming in now.” she says, opening the door. “Is that Natasha’s lipstick?”

It’s too much and you get overwhelmed, bursting into tears. Her grin of triumph from when she saw the lipstick quickly disappears and she rushes over to comfort you, wrapping you in a big hug.

“Do I have to kill her?” she asks, when you’ve calmed down a little bit. If you didn’t know Carol enough to know she’s actually a huge softy you would think she is dead serious.

“No,” you tell her, managing a weak smile at how quickly Carol comes to your defense.

“Are you sure?” she asks. “You have her lipstick all over you and you’re crying because of her. What did she do wrong?”

“It’s not her fault,” you protest. Natasha and Carol are friends and you don’t want them to stop being close because of you.

“It’s not her fault you’re crying?” Carol asks skeptically.

“I-um, she,” you stumble over your words because technically it is her fault you’re crying. “She didn’t mean to.” you finally settle on saying.

Carol doesn’t look any happier with the situation than she did before. “Please tell me what happened Y/n so I can go beat her up for you. Did she try to force herself on you or do anything you didn’t want?”

“No.” you say, shaking your head. Natasha may have only been looking for a one night stand or short fling but you can confidently say that she would never do that.

“Okay, then what did she do to make you so upset? It doesn’t look like she rejected you.” Carol is both stubborn and curious and you sigh knowing you’re not going to be able to get out of this conversation without telling her what happened.

“At first it was really nice, we were talking and then we were kissing. But then-” you pause and take a deep breath as Carol rubs a hand comfortingly on your back. “But then she asked if I wanted to go up to her room.” you pause again, trying not to cry for the second time this morning.

“What did you say?” Carol asks softly, knowing this is hard for you.

“I almost said yes, I was planning to say yes,” you tell her, “but then I looked down at her heels.”

“Her heels?”

“She was wearing the heels she always wears for missions where she has to seduce shady old men.” you explain. “And her dress seemed different than normal, like one she’d wear on a mission and she was smirking at me, like she got exactly what she wanted.”

“She treated you like a mission.” Carol states, a hard look in her eye. “That bitch.”

“Carol,” you warn, “you’re her friend too.”

“And as her friend I’m going to give her some friendly advice.” She emphasizes the word friendly giving the impression that it wasn’t going to be friendly at all.

“It will only make things worse.” you tell her. “I just want to forget about it.”

Carol keeps the hard look but softens a little, smiling at you. “Okay, whatever you want. We could spend the day watching movies and eating ice cream?”

“Okay.” you tell her. You’ve never been heartbroken before but you’ve seen movies and apparently this is what everyone does.

“I’ll go get the ice cream while you pick a movie.” she tells you, standing up. “I’ll even watch a disney one if you’d like.”

You give a halfhearted cheer, trying to convince Carol that you’re excited. She frowns as she leaves the room, that cheer was obviously fake. Any other time and you would be beyond happy that she was agreeing to watch Disney movies with you, you’ve been begging her to for almost a year. She can’t help but feel anger at Natasha and anger at herself. Anger at Natasha for playing with your feelings but anger at herself for pushing you to be with Natasha. She should have realized Natasha wouldn’t treat you right but she was so caught up in trying to pair you together that she didn’t see it.

---

Natasha wakes up as normal, feeling a headache forming already. Glancing towards her alarm clock she sits up in shock when she reads how late it is. She’s never in bed after noon. She groans when she realizes sitting up that quickly was not a good idea and makes her feel nauseous. She takes a few breaths, in and out, to calm herself and tries to remember why she drank so much. She was upset, she remembers that. She was upset because her plan didn’t work.

She feels a sharp pain in her heart when her mental blocks seem to go away and she remembers everything that happened, how the night had been going so perfectly and she had felt so happy only for it to all come crashing down when you ran away, disgusted that you kissed her.

“Stupid.” she tells herself, getting out of bed. She reminds herself of that as she goes about her normal morning routine, washing her face, brushing her teeth and getting dressed. She was so stupid to risk your friendship for something more, now it would be a miracle if you still wanted to be around her. Even if it hurt to pretend you hadn’t kissed she would go back to being friends with you in an instant if you still wanted her. She tries not to think about how big of an if that is.

When she is presentable she decides to head down the kitchen and grab some food. It’s been awhile since she last ate and there’s no use in trying to hide away and avoid her problems; she will either see you and have to confront them or you won’t be there. She knows that hiding away will only make things worse and appear weak, if she leaves her room and pretends everything is normal it will make her seem less hurt than she is.

“Hi Natasha.” Tony says in a weird voice when she enters the kitchen, waggling his eyebrows. She does her best not to show her obvious disappointment that almost everybody is here. The one upside is that you’re not.

“Hi Tony.” she says tiredly, walking over to grab a piece of bread and plopping it in the toaster.

“So Natasha,” he starts, oblivious to her unrelaxed mood, “how was last night?”

Natasha whips around lightning fast, staring at him. “What do you mean?”

He couldn’t possibly have heard, could he? She had hoped to talk to you before word got out about the rejection, to try to keep it on the down-low because the guys would never let her live it down. She assumed you wouldn’t tell anyone but you did leave the hall in the direction of the party so maybe you decided to stay.

“I mean with Y/n.” he says casually as Natasha fights to keep a straight face as her heart beats wildly in her chest. “Don’t think we didn’t notice how you both left early.”

Natasha lets out an almost unnoticeable sigh of relief. He didn’t know anything important.

“Well that may be the case but I can assure you nothing happened.” she tells him.

“Then where is she now?” Tony challenges.

“I don’t know, if you haven’t seen her she’s probably in her room.” Natasha responds smoothly. It’s just her luck that after being rejected by the girl of her dreams Tony thinks they got together.

“And where were you?”

Natasha gives him a deadpan stare. “My own room.”

He scoffs. “First of all you could be lying to us, I know you spies are good at that. But if you aren’t you need to get some balls and ask her out already.”

Natasha scowls. “A man’s balls are the weakest part of his body, I am good without them.”

Tony has enough self preservation to step back for a second. Natasha lets him think that her annoyance is solely over his sexist statement but really it wasn’t that bad and she’s just upset that she can’t have you so she really doesn’t want to be talking about asking you out.

“You should.” Clint speaks up.

Natasha rolls her eyes. “Not you too.”

“See Clint agrees with me and I bet the others do too.” Tony says smugly. Natasha lets her eyes move slowly around the room and one but one they all look away when she catches their eye, showing her that while they are too nervous to outright say it, Tony is right and they do agree.

“I don’t care about that,” she says, “I am not and that’s the end of the story.”

“What not?” Tony persists. “You like her, you can’t deny that, so give me one good reason not to.”

“Because she wouldn’t want to and I respect that.” Natasha says calmly. Inside she feels her stomach twisting and she wants to break something. She may be good at hiding her emotions but this conversation is proving to be next to impossible.

Tony scoffs again. “There’s no way, that girl is so in love with you it’s ridiculous.”

“What’s ridiculous is that you assume things about other people and can’t let this go.” Natasha tells him icily. “You don’t know what she’d say.”

“Then you don’t know either.” Tony counters.

“Then why did she say no when I asked her out last night?” Natasha snaps at him. There are gasps all around the room and to her mortification she is barely holding in the tears that spring to her eyes.

“What?” Sam asks in disbelief.

“I asked her out, she said no and that’s that.” Natasha explains, trying to keep her composure but failing when a tear falls down her cheek. “Excuse me.”

She hurries out of the room, no longer able to handle the talk of asking you out and the disbelieving stares. As she gets back to her room and lies in bed once more she notes in annoyance that she never got her toast. Not that she’s hungry anymore anyway. She doesn’t feel anything anymore except sadness and emptiness. She knew her feelings for you were strong but now that she knows for sure that you don’t want her they feel even stronger and it makes her realize just how much this meant to her and how much she lost.

---

“Hey.” Carol greets as she walks in the kitchen and heads straight for the freezer.

“Morning Carol.” Bruce says, looking shocked when he sees the amount of ice cream she’s holding. “Ice cream for breakfast?”

“It’s for Y/n.” Carol explains.

Tony’s expression turns dark. “What on earth does she need it for?”

“Girl problems, also known as none of your business.” Carols says, in an admittedly sassy voice.

Tony glares. “By girl problems do you mean what happened with Romanoff last night.”

He may tease Natasha but she was like family to him and he would not allow your feelings to be coddled while you stomped all over hers. He doesn’t care if you feel bad for rejecting her, you had flirted and let her on for too long and feeling bad was the least you deserve.

In an instant Carol is across the kitchen and inches from his face. “How do you know?”

“Hey, calm down.” Bruce says, stepping in when he notices Clint and Sam have both tensed up, presumably to defend Natasha’s honor. Even though he’s a man himself he doesn’t understand them sometimes, Natasha was more than capable of taking care of herself and starting a fight between Tony and Carol, the two most stubborn on the team, would only be a headache for weeks to come.

“How do you know?” Carol asks Bruce, thankfully stepping back from Tony.

“She was here a few minutes ago and told us.”

Carol curses under her breath. “That bitch.”

“Hey!” Clint says loudly. “If anyone is a bitch here it’s Y/n.”

“Yes because it’s all Y/n’s fault.” Carol says sarcastically.

Sam decides he’s had enough of Carol. “Yes actually, it is.”

“Bullshit.”

The three of them go back and forth with Carol, mainly cursing and getting a little off topic.

It’s when Carol calls Tony an idiot that Bruce speaks up. “You weren’t here to see Natasha cry.”

“What?” Carol turned to face Bruce, shocked. He isn’t one for petty arguments so she believes what comes out of his mouth. But why would Natasha cry? It doesn’t make sense, she was the one who broke your heart, not the other way around. “Natasha never cries.”

“Well she just did.” Tony says but it’s not in a confrontational tone anymore. He’s not sure what Carol knows but it’s obvious she didn’t know fully what happened.

“Why?”

“It was partly my fault,” Tony admits, “I was teasing her about asking out Y/n and she kept saying no and eventually snapped and told us that she did last night but Y/n rejected her.”

Carol scrunches her brow in confusion. “That’s not what Y/n told me- OHHH.”

“What?” The voice comes simultaneously from all four men at once.

“They are both idiots.” Carol says, smiling and laughing for the first time since entering the kitchen. “They are both huge idiots that don’t know shit about feelings.”

“What?” Tony asks again, wanting to know what Carol’s thinking.

“Okay I’ll tell you but don’t interrupt.” Carol warns and looks at all of them to make sure they nod in agreement. Once she is satisfied she starts. “So this morning I found Y/n in tears and covered in Natasha’s lipstick. Apparently they had fun at the party last night and then snuck away to makeout. Y/n was upset because Natasha asked her up to her room instead of on a date and she noticed that Natasha was wearing her mission heels, do you know them?”

“The ones that she uses to seduce old men for Shield?” Sam asks just to make sure.

“Yep.” Carol confirms. “So anyways Y/n is upset because she thinks that she was just some sort of challenge to Natasha so she left her there…”

“...but Natasha was actually serious about her.” Clint finishes.

Tony laughs. “They really are idiots.”

“I am definitely telling this story at their wedding and to their future kids.” Sam says, also laughing.

“Well first they need to actually talk to each other about this.” Bruce points out, lowering the happy mood of the room. “Right now they’re both in their rooms miserable and feelings like the other doesn’t want them.”

“We should get Natasha to talk to Y/n,” Carol suggests, “because I know that Y/n won’t believe us unless Natasha is the one to tell her.”

“Okay I volunteer to talk to Natasha.” Tony suggests.

“No.” Carol tells him.

“Well you’re Y/n’s best friend so she won’t want to talk to you either right now.” he counters.

“Yes but you’re also a horrible option, I think Bruce would be best for this.”

Bruce looks around the room. “Me?”

“That does make sense,” Clint agrees with Carol, “out of all of us you’re the best at calming people down and she’d be most likely to believe you quicker.”

“But-”

“No buts Brucie, don’t you want to see them together?” Tony pleads.

“Yeah come on Brucie,” Sam mocks Tony, “do it for love.”

Bruce sighs as he watches Tony pout and Sam flutter his eyelashes ridiculously. “Fine.”

“Get straight to the point,” Clint advises, “because she will kick you out if you don’t.”

“Okay.”

Bruce leaves the kitchen to head to Natasha’s room. It took ages for him to be convinced to join the avengers and every day he can’t tell if he regrets his choice or loves his choice. Certainly no other job in the world would force him to go talk to his scary assassin coworker so she and his other coworker can get together. He really isn’t paid enough for this.

A knock startles Natasha. She didn’t think anyone would come after her because she assumed they would all be too scared when she’s in a bad mood.

“Who is it?” she calls out.

“Bruce.”

“Bruce,” she sighs, “I’m sorry but I need to be alone right now, I hope you of all people can understand that.”

“No.” he responds, surprising both her and himself with how determined his voice sounds.

“Bruce-” she starts but he interrupts.

“Hear me out first Natasha,” he begs, “please.”

She thinks about it for a moment before giving up and sighing, she’s not in the mood to spend time arguing. “Fine, but you have to stay outside the door.”

“If that’s what you want.” he agrees, pausing a second to figure out how he wants to word things. “I just came back from an interesting conversation with Carol in the kitchen.” he settles on saying.

“Oh?” She tries not to think about what that means. Carol is your best friend and after her scene in the kitchen this morning she doesn’t think there would be any other reason he would bring her up.

“She was getting ice cream for Y/n because apparently she’s upset.” he offers as a means of explanation.

“Oh.” she says again and it’s so quiet she doesn’t think he heard her. “You can tell Carol that I’ll apologize to Y/n tomorrow, I need to gain control of myself first.”

She never thought about how it would be from your end of things. She forced you into more than you wanted and tried to ask you out and she selfishly focused on her own feelings when you probably were upset that she kissed you. Or you thought you would lose her as a friend. She doesn't think she is capable of talking to you without breaking down right now but in a few days she’ll be fine and able to pretend nothing changed.

“That’s not what she was upset about,” Bruce tells her, “Carol says she was upset because she thought it didn’t mean anything to you.”

“What, why?” Natasha can’t help but let her interest be taken. She doesn’t want to get her hopes up, what Bruce said could mean a lot of different things.

“I feel like I’m in middle school and there’s broken telephone being played between two crushes.” Bruce jokes.

“Bruce, tell me why.” Natasha demands. Her voice is soft but they both know if Bruce stalls any longer she’ll drop the sweet act.

“Well Carol said she said that it seemed like you were acting as if she was your mission to seduce and not like you actually wanted to be with her.” Bruce says, relaying the information.

“Crap.”

Bruce waits for Natasha to elaborate but she doesn’t say anything. “Are you okay in there?”

“Yes, thank you Bruce,” she says, “I need to go fix this, you can leave now.”

He can’t help but feel relieved as he speeds away down the hall. He is never going to do anything like that again, it was way too awkward. He still doesn’t understand how the others forced him to do this, damn his heart for being persuaded it was a good cause. The one upside is that talking to Natasha did seem to work and with any luck she’d be able to fix her mistakes with you. If she didn’t he did all this for nothing and may very well hulk out.

---

Natasha paces back and forth in her room. If Bruce was right (and she has no reason to believe he would lie) you didn’t run away because you didn’t like her, you ran away because you thought she didn’t like you. She winces when she thinks about it. Looking back she can see why you were mistaken and thought she didn’t have true feelings for you because she did treat you like a mark. She analyzed what hairstyle and dress you would like and wore her good luck heels. Even the way she talked and acted was calculated to be exactly what you’d like.

She’s stupid, so stupid and if she had just asked you out in a normal way instead of trying to seduce you she could be on a brunch date with you right now. It had never occurred to her to try it any other way, she was taught that seducing was the easiest way to get people to like you so why should it be different for a normal date? In hindsight using red room techniques to get a date is a horrible idea and she can’t believe she didn’t see it before. Maybe she hasn’t shaken off the red room ideals as much as she thought she had.

The thought scares her, her entire life upon leaving the red room has been dedicated to being a force for good, the opposite of everything the red room stood for so to realize that they still have their claws in deeper than she thought is terrifying. She takes a deep breath and tries to make it go away, which is mostly successful as the thought is reduced to the back of her mind. She can take her thoughts and analyze them later, which is another thing the red room taught her to do she notes, but right now she has to focus on the thing that’s most important, fixing her mistake.

As she walks through the halls to your room she runs through things she should say in her head but nothing sounds right. Perhaps it’s for the best though, that way you can tell she’s genuine and not performing another script. She pauses as she reaches your door, finding herself almost shaking with nerves. What if you don’t want her anymore or Bruce misunderstood or worst of all you still think she doesn’t care?

She almost turns around and goes back, unfamiliar with this type of fear but she knows that if she does all chances of fixing things and having a relationship with you will be reduced to zero. Taking a deep breath she turns the knob and pushes the door open.

You don’t look right away when you hear the door open, too lazy to care. “What took you so long, you were supposed to be back with the ice cream ages ago.”

“I-”

You spin around quickly. “You’re not Carol.”

“Nor do I have ice cream.” She tries to joke but it falls flat.

“Why are you here?” you ask and she winces. It’s blunt and straight to the point, your tone quiet but practically screaming at her to get out.

Since you got straight to the point she decides to do the same. “To ask you out.”

You must look even more shocked than you feel because she quickly jumps in to explain. “That’s what I was trying to do at the party last night, although I know you assumed that I didn’t mean it. I know you noticed the heels and I know I was smirking and it seemed like I was playing you but it really was genuine, I was just trying to do it the wrong way. I was always taught in the red room that to get people to like you romantically the best way to do that is to seduce them but obviously that is wrong and I didn’t realize until too late.”

There’s a lot of information to take in but your mind gets stuck on one question. “How do you know all that about how I felt?”

“Carol talked to Bruce who talked to me.” she says, looking slightly embarrassed at how elementary that sounds. “So?”

“So what?” You know she wants to know if you’ll go out with her for real and you really want to immediately say yes but you also want to hear her ask you properly.

She seems to understand. “Will you go on a date with me Y/n?”

You hesitate one moment before responding. It’s unnecessarily mean but you just spent a good portion of last night and this morning crying over her and besides, she looks absolutely adorable as she shifts her weight from side to side nervously. She looks exactly how you want her to look, no makeup and wearing sweatpants. It’s natural and genuine and everything you would have loved to see last night.

“Yes.”

“Oh thank god.” she laughs in relief, the pitch of it breathier than normal.

“I like it when you do that.” you tell her.

She furrows her brow, confused. “Do what?”

“When you laugh like that or wear old clothes, like you’re not trying to impress me.” you explain.

“So when I do the opposite of what I did last night?” she asks, laughing at herself for being so stupid. Of course you didn’t fall for all the acts, if you did she wouldn’t like you as much as she does. You make her feel different and that’s a good thing, she shouldn’t have to act around you.

“Yeah, don’t get me wrong last night was hot,” you tell her, “but it’s not you. That’s agent Romanoff putting on whatever mask she needs to be for the night, this here is my Tasha.”

“Your Tasha, huh,” she teases, “possessive much?”

“Sorry.”

“No,” she tells you, “I like it. I don’t need to put a mask on around you because you’re you and I am your Tasha. But you’re also mine.”

“All yours.” you confirm and she visibly shivers. “Apparently I’m not the only possessive one.”

“Apparently.” she says looking at you in a way that makes heat rise to your cheeks.

“Since we wasted time last night maybe we could start with a movie date right now?” you suggest shyly, changing the topic.

“Well we do have time to make up for.” she agrees, sitting down on the bed beside you. “What movie?”

“Mulan.” you tell her pressing the remote to drop the tv down into your room. There were definitely benefits to living with Tony.

“A disney movie?” she asks skeptically.

“Have you seen it?” you ask already knowing the answer before she shakes her head. “Then don’t knock it, it’s a great movie.”

“If you say so.” she says, still slightly skeptical but much more open to it. Even if the movie is garbage she doesn’t think she’d mind watching it with you. She definitely doesn’t mind it when your head drops onto your shoulder and you fall asleep, tired from the emotional rollercoaster you just went on. And when the movie ends she doesn’t move, happy to have you there, even when hours later her shoulder is all tense and cramped. It scares her how much she feels for you already but it also feels freeing, she knows she is not just the product of the red room because their biggest rule is to not fall in love and she’s definitely going to break that soon, if she hasn’t already.

---

Taglist: @fayhar@xxxtwilightaxelxxx@acertainredhead@madamevirgo@megaqueenmaeve@cherryblossomskye@aaron-despair@chickenhavewisdom@emril-osvigne@nyankitty987@agathaharkness-simp@midnight-lestrange@usernames-are-difficult (couldn't tag)@thewidowsghost@nyx-aira@stephanieromanoff@Satxnsupreme@likefirenrain@wlwlovesreading@natashadeservedbetter@stop-drop-and-drumroll@peggycarter-steverogers@casperlikej@redswing@mochamoff@king-star@blackbat2020

[trentaafcsblog]

NSFW Alphabet

Mason Mount

A - aftercare You’d be lying if you said that this wasn’t sometimes your favourite part about having sex, something about how soft and caring Mason becomes once the two of you have reached your highs just making you feel like the only girl in the world, and don’t get me wrong, he looks after you in the best possible way when you’re doing the business, but he’s just so much more attentive afterwards and he’s happy to kiss, cuddle and play with your hair as long as you need him to

B - body part Your ass, god he’s got an obsession with it, always catching him licking his lips whenever you wear *those* gym leggings or a tiny pair of shorts, and it’s got to the point where it feels weird not to have his hand glued to it twenty-four-seven

C - cum At the start of your relationship you were super strict about Mason wearing a condom, so it’s only recently that you’ve started to be a bit more adventurous when it comes to your orgasms, letting him try out all kinds of different things to see which you both prefer, whether that’s cumming on your ass, your your tits, in your mouth or inside your pussy, you’re still trying to figure that your one out, but it’s honestly the hottest thing knowing that at least one part of your body is decorated with his seed

D - dirty secret You’ve recently discovered the world of sexting, and it’s quite possibly your favourite thing, loving how you can pass your thumbs tapping away on your screen as ‘oh I’m just messaging my boyfriend’, when actually you’re begging him to be balls deep inside of you tonight whilst he fucks your pussy raw

E - exposed Not to jinx it but you haven’t been caught yet, there was one time where his mum came home from work early and you were face down on the mattress whilst Mason fucked you from behind, but that’s as close as it’s got, and fingers crossed it stays that way

F - foreplay Again, it’s something that’s taken time for the two of you to get into the swing of doing, but now it’s become an essential part of your sex lives, sometimes not even bothering to do the actual deed and instead just letting Mason eat you out whilst you suck his dick, loving how the other person can bring you so much pleasure in the most incredible ways

G - goofy At the start of your relationship there were a couple of times when you ended up in a fit of giggles, mainly because you were both worried incase you got ‘too’ into it and the other person wasn’t ready, but now you’re so much more comfortable around one another that it’s rare that you have outbursts of random giggles anymore 

H - horny Mason finds it hard not to be when you’re his girlfriend, always wandering around with a boner because you look so good all the time, looking at you with a twinkle in his eye each time you come down wearing a tiny top or a little pair of shorts in the hope that you catch on to what he’s thinking

I - intimacy It’s such an important part of your relationship, taking you a little while to feel completely comfortable around one another but now you’re both so close, both emotionally and sexually, which obviously helps when it comes to the bedroom

J - jack off Normally he tries to keep himself under control, especially since he knows that his hand has nothing on yours, but there have obviously been times when he’s been caught out and he just has to relieve some of his tension, sometimes struggling to keep himself sane when you’re busy spamming him with messages explaining how you’ll be sucking him off later

 K - kinks Mason’s got the biggest praise kink, loving how he thrusts deeper into your pussy or groans in your ear each time you call him your good boy, finding it so hot that those kinds of compliments just roll of your tongue without you even thinking, his brain fogging over with pure pleasure each time and causing his cock to almost explode 

L - location You usually stick to the bedroom, obviously there have been occasions where you’ve had sex on the sofa halfway through a movie or let him bend you over the kitchen whilst you’re making dinner, but you much prefer to keep it under the covers

M - moaning That boy knows what he’s doing so it’s practically impossible for you to hold back your moans, always turning into a complete whimpering mess for him when he’s slamming into you, and Mason’s just the same, always grunting and groaning in your ear with each thrust because you make him feel so good 

N - nudes You’ve both sent and received a fair few, Mason always choosing to pass his over when you’re out for lunch with your friends or sat at work, a series of photos of his rock solid cock appearing on your screen and causing the most furious blush to sweep across your cheeks, Mason finding it hilarious how you’ll get so turned on in an environment where you can’t do anything about it, only giving you a reason to punish him when you’re home 

O - oral His favourite thing in the whole wide world is seeing you knelt before him with his cock in your mouth, fucking your face for hours on end just so that he can hear you gagging and spluttering around him, your eyes streaming with tears and rolling back into your head as his cock hits the back of your throat

P - position Mason’s got two favourites - doggy and missionary, his choice of position depends on the mood that he’s in, opting for doggy if he wants to be a bit rough and reach his orgasm quickly, but choosing missionary when he wants to be a bit more intimate with you, loving how he can be so much closer to you and how you can feel his thrusts so much deeper

Q - quickie You both prefer longer sex sessions but obviously when the seconds are counting down on the clock then you’re making the most of the time that you have together, letting Mase fuck you at the most ridiculous speed before he needs to go to training or before you’re about to head out for dinner with your mates, loving how you can go about your day afterwards as though you haven’t just had your brains blown out, nobody knowing what you’ve been up to other than you two

R - risk You’re not the biggest risk takers to be honest, preferring to keep your sex life exclusively between the two of you rather than sharing it with a whole car park or holiday complex, but saying that, you have let Mason fuck you on the balcony in the early hours of the morning and you’ve also sucked him off in one of the back rooms at Stamford Bridge, yet other than that it’s pretty much safe sex in the company of just you and Mase

S - spit/swallow Swallow, always, why would you want to waste the aftermath of all of your hard work? Mason finding it the hottest thing ever that you don’t even have to contemplate your next move when he cums in your mouth, giving him your best innocent eyes or a little wink before you’re swallowing it down without any hesitation

T - toys You’ve got a vibrator that occasionally makes an appearance when you feel like you’re missing something in the bedroom, but nine times out of ten, you just let Mason do the work, his cock hitting all of the places that no toy could and his fingers rubbing your clit in a way that feels so good that you can’t even compare it to a vibrator, both of you preferring to be the people that bring each other pleasure, rather than letting a toy do the work

U - unfair Never ever ever, Mason’s honestly the sweetest person when it comes to sex so he’ll never cum before you, and even if he’s desperate to reach his orgasm, then he’ll try and hold off until your pussy is spasming around his cock first, hating seeing you begging and whining for him to let you cum so he’s always making sure that your needs are met well before his own

V - volume You can be prettyyy loud, which isn’t really hard when Mason fucks you so well, loving how you can scream his name as loudly as you want when it’s just you and him, your moans bouncing off the walls and echoing in his ears for hours afterwards, honestly finding your whines and whimpers so fucking sexy, especially since he knows he’s the only one making you feel that way

W - wild card Mason’s recently invested in a Polaroid camera to try and capture some of your best memories together, and somehow it’s managed to make its way into the bedroom too, resting on his bedside table until the perfect photo opportunity arises, taking a few snaps and hiding them away ready to look at when you need a bit of inspiration

X - x-ray It’s a good size, a veryyy good size, well and truly filling you up and managing to hit all of the right places, so you definitely aren’t complaining, even if it does sometimes take you a while to adjust to his length, much to Mason’s satisfaction 

Y - yearning He’s always in the mood to fuck you, I mean, who wouldn’t be when they’ve got such a pretty girl as their partner? Always catching him staring at your ass or letting his mind run free when his gaze brushes over your tits, but you don’t mind, because secretly you’re doing exactly the same to him

Z - zzz It’s hard not to fall asleep after sex, particularly your longer sessions, and regardless of whether it’s emotion-based or rough, it’s still wearing you both out and you can’t help but collapse in each other’s arms and drift off into a deep sleep afterwards, staying in the same position until the sun starts rising and you’re woken up to the memories of last night 

[yamujiburo]

Jessie and Cassidy reconciliation fanfic thing

I was going through my notes app just now to just clear out some junk and I found something I'd written like a year ago and totally forgot about hahhaha. I don't usually do fanfics but I guess I was in a writing mood that night. I can't remember why I stopped. I either got stuck, didn't know how I wanted it to end or was just having a hard time figuring out like,,,, the arcs and what I wanted the main focus of the story to be. Anyhow, here it is if you wanna read the set up I made for it haha

Jessie, James and Meowth have once again failed to complete a mission and Matori is TIRED of it. She brings it up go Giovanni who tells her not to worry about them. Matori can’t figure out why Giovanni puts up with them and starts digging on possible reasons why Giovanni would keep them around. She decides to go to HR to find answers. There, she meets Wendy.

“Ah– Matori!”

“Pull up records for Jessie, James and–“, Matori notices that Wendy already has Jessie’s files pulled up and gives her a strange look.

“I see you’re already doing your research on Miss Jessie…”

“N-no! Well, yes. It’s just that Jessie has continuously failed almost all missions she’s been assigned! Not to mention she’s singlehandedly almost made the organization go broke. Well, not really but she still owes a lot of money!”

“And the other two?”

“Huh? Oh yeah them, too I guess.”

“I just don’t understand what Giovanni could possible see in them. They’re not good for Team Rocket.”

“Tell me about it, I’ve been trying to get the boss to fire them for years. But he’s got a real soft spot for them apparently. Tch, to think they were the top of their class once.”

“Hmph, I find that hard to believe.”

“I can’t speak for James and Meowth, but Jessie really was a promising recruit. So much so that when she threatened to quit, she somehow manipulated every exec into fulfilling her demands.”

“Threatened to quit?” The gears in Matori’s head began to turn. Sure Giovanni wouldn’t fire the trio, but if they were to quit, there would be nothing he could do.

“Yeah, she had a falling out with her first partner. And instead of being PROFESSIONAL she wined until she got a new one. Then she proceeded to go through like 10 more partners until James came along. If you’ve ever talked to her I’m sure you can tell she’s not the easiest person to work with.”

“Hm. Perhaps it’s time to switch up some teams.”

“C-can you do that? Is that allowed?”

“I could pull some strings.”

“Isn’t that sabotage?” Wendy asks. Matori shoots her a look.

“Call it what you want, but it’s my job to make sure this organization is successful as possible. Getting rid of some problem lackeys will only benefit Team Rocket. If Giovanni won’t do anything about them, then I will.”

“Matori. You are my hero”

“Are there any potential candidates we could temporarily team them up with? Or members they’ve been known to… not get along with?”

A big, Gengar-like smile creeps on Wendy’s face. “I know just the agents.”

_____________________________________________________________

Early in the morning in Jessie and James’ base, they get a call from Matori. Jessie is already annoyed, knowing who’s calling, but she wakes up her team members just in case it was Giovanni.

“A little early don’t you think, Matori?” Matori composes herself and ignores Jessie’s jab.

“Giovanni hasn’t arrived yet, but I have very important news.” Jessie, James and Meowth’s interests are piqued. “Your success rates have been… less than exemplary. But, you have previously shown you are exceptional agents.”

Jessie is taken aback by the, sort of, compliment from Matori. “So what’s the issue?”

“We have reason to believe that, while neither of you are individually the reason for your constant failures, you are incompatible as a team and you are going to be reassigned to different partners, effective immediately.”

James and Meowth look at each other shocked, and the thoughts going through their head were interrupted by their soon to be, not-leader. “WHAT?! You can’t split us up! We–“

“I apologize for the inconvenience. But this is for the benefit of Team Rocket. I do not have time to argue this. It has already been decided and your new partners have been decided. James, you are to return to headquarters where you will meet your new partner and Jessie, you will remain where you are and your new partner will arrive tomorrow.”

“What about, Me-owth?”

Matori pauses. She hadn’t thought about the cat. “You can decide who you wish to go with. Thank you for your time. Best of luck with your new arrangements.”

Matori hangs up. Jessie, James and Meowth stand staring at the screen, solemn. What doe they do now? Years of working together over, just like that.

“UGH THAT LITTLE FOUR EYED BOWL CUT HAIRED FREAK! I’m gonna do something about this! They can’t do this to us!” James gently puts his had on Jessie’s shoulder.

“There’s nothing we can do,”

James packs up, Meowth has decided to go with James. They say their goodbyes. James and Meowth grab the rest of their things and leave. Jessie is left alone with her thoughts.

_____________________________________________________________

Back at headquarters, we see James and Meowth being led by Matori to her office where she says his new partner is waiting. She talks about how this member is in a very similar situation. They walk in and see short, green hair. “BUTCH???”

“Oh no not you guys!”

“If you’re my new partner, that must mean…”

“Oh no,” they all say in unison.

_____________________________________________________________

Jessie still lying in the same place on her bed. Why was she feeling this way? She’d been through so many parters before. Sure she’d been with James and Meowth longer, but she wasn’t one to get attached. Well, not anymore. In the middle of her thought, she hears the elevator to the base coming down. She gets up and makes herself as presentable as possible (over shirt is off, makeup kinda smeared, boots off). Before she can get her shit together, a pair of white boots click, clack in. Jessie looks up, and the flash of orange, blonde seared her eyes.

“CASSIDY?!”

“JESSIE?!”

“No, no, no there has to be some sort of mistake. I can’t be teamed up with you! I hate you!”

“The feeling’s mutual.”

“I can’t believe I going to have to work with your ugly ass every day.”

“You’re one to talk. Have you looked in the mirror lately?” Jessie turned to the standup mirror leaning against the wall. She was definitely not looking her best.

“You caught me at a bad time!”

“You sure? I recall you always looking this ratty. I guess it has been a while since I’ve seen you, thank goodness," Cassidy said smugly. Jessie was already pissed off.

“We’re calling Matori RIGHT NOW to fix this.”

“Gee, while you’re looking like that?”

“I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT.” Jessie picked up the communicator, which brandished a large R on the wall. Matori picked up.

“Good afternoon Jessie, are you aware that you’re not in uniform?”

“Cut the crap you clod! You set me up with Cassidy on purpose!”

“Ah I see you’ve met your new partner! Hello, Cassidy.”

“Matori,” Cassidy said with a small bow. Of course Cassidy was trying to stay composed. Just another way to try one-up Jessie.

“We can NOT work together. I demand you put me back on my old team!”

“While I’m not one to disagree with higher ups, Miss Matori, I unfortunately have to side with Jessie on this one. You might not be aware but Jessie and I were partners once in our training days. We simply are not compatible,” Cassidy explained as politely as possible.

“Was there a reason for this, incompatibility? I was looking through your records and it appeared that you two were quite the team back in the day. I had assumed that the executives just wanted two top agents to be on other teams with some less skilled trainees.” Both Cassidy and Jessie blushed.

It was true that Jessie and Cassidy were at the top of their class for quite some time. But the reasons for them being split up were quite… personal.

“Listen, we just can’t work together. Try getting that through that helmet head of yours.”

_____________________________________________________________

~aaaaand this is where i got to~

Anyone wanna finish this for me? /j

I can't remember where I wanted this to go. I think I was gonna have Jessie and Cassidy try to suck it up and work together so they don't lose their jobs. They fight Ash and Goh, trying to get Pikachu as usual and quickly fail because of their bickering. They eventually have a heart to heart, wondering where they went wrong back when they were a team. They say a lot of things that they'd failed to communicate in the past and reconcile.

THEN this is where I kinda got stuck on what I wanted the focus/them to me. There was a version in my head where after they reconcile they like,,, make out and start falling in love again (for those new here, I firmly believe Jessie and Cassidy are bitter exes and had a falling out during their training days). After this their chemistry and communication improve immensely resulting in them succeeding to catch Pikachu. Matori comes to retrieve it but Ash and Goh get it back while it's in Matori's hands (making it her failure). And then I wasn't sure how to end this version. Maybe things going back to normal after Giovanni finds out that Jessie and Cassidy are dating and deems it unprofessional. Jessie, James and Meowth are reunited and Cassidy and Butch are as well. Happy ending were things are as they were but now Cassidy and Jessie are on good terms and still together maybe???

The oooother version was centering the story more around Jessie and her inability to keep her partners/not appreciating them. If I went with this I think I'd start off the story differently with her being a dick to James and Meowth (which she is a lot of the time but this time she crosses a line). After the team switch she finds that she really had been taking her teammates for granted. I think Cassidy and Jessie still have that heart to heart but then it's more about how Jessie hurt Cassidy and Jessie kinda realizes that she's still making the same errors currently. They reconcile buuut the both of them still want their old partners back so they hatch a plan to successfully steal Pikachu but ensure that Ash gets it back when it's in Matori's hands. They request that they be paired up with their old teammates and in exchange, wouldn't tell Giovanni that Matori messed up. Everything goes back to normal the end.

I had too many jumbled ideas and because I don't have the attention span to write for more than a couple hours I just dropped this LOL. Just thought I'd share in case anyone found this remotely interesting or entertaining hehe

[ererokii]

— broken strings and beautiful melodies

diluc r. x f!reader

Word Count: 9.6k Warnings: major character death, mentions of violence, mentions of blood, gore, this does not follow the og plot and lore/ some spoilers for “We Will be Reunited” Archon Quest Note: this is for Attack On Academia’s Mythology Summer Collab! Please be sure to check out the masterlist for everyone else’s works. They all worked super hard and it turned out amazing! And big thanks to @reddriot and @axther for betaing <3

Synopsis: A simple love story between the Pyro Archon, and a mortal.

taglist || masterlist || server link || collab masterlist

Another four days pass and it’s finally Friday. Fridays at Angel’s Share were no different from the ones prior. Exhausted adventurers and townspeople venture inside the tavern to drink their woes away, to forget, or to have a great time. It was annoying, to say the least—hearing the laughter and cheers bouncing off the walls.

However, Diluc had to say nothing was worse than a certain pigtail braided bard strutting in with his lyre. The redhead had no choice but to serve the bard his choice of drinks after figuring out his true identity (although he still makes him pay the whole total—even if the singer can’t find a way to pay). 

Like before, the bartender lifts his head up, crimson eyes boring into the crowd gathering beside the bard at the nearby table. 

The bard’s soft voice matches with the melody of his lyre, fingers pulling and gracefully sliding past the strings. His eyes closed, telling a story to the nearby peers and the quiet man standing behind the counter. A tale Diluc heard once, yet it weighed on him all the same.

“The story of this archon is no better than the rest, yet, the most tragic comes from the debris of war. The god of War was like no other. Loads of strength, yet grief and sorrows weigh him down like an anchor in the vast ocean. Love is a mere factor, yet love is one of the many things the god brought ruin to.”

-

With heavy footsteps, a red-haired male walks along the dirt path in no shoes, wearing the silkiest of robes one could ever obtain. He hums to himself, brushing a loose strand of hair away from his face, letting out a huff of annoyance when it falls right back into the same position as before. 

He breathes in the crisp air of the summer night, relishing the winds that brush across his skin. Summers in Natlan were one of a kind. While it was scorching in the morning, when the night came around, all was calm. The harsh rays turned into blissful winds that cleansed the land of heat. 

During the other seasons, it was never too cold, nor was it ever too hot. The temperature was just right for all men, women and children. 

Located in the southwestern region of Teyvat, Natlan was home to the Pyro Archon, known as The God of War. The god, Murata, is unlike any other god. Ruthless and fierce, he does not handle any threat lightly. Anything thrown his way, he does not hesitate. With kindness and love, Murata will no doubt protect his nation.

His statues are scattered across the land. Standing with his formal rags and cloak that shields his face, Murata holds his claymore in his right hand, the tip pointing down to symbolize his foes beneath him as he celebrates in victory.

In the night sky, his statues act like lights to guide those on safe journeys home or to neighboring nations. Along with being guides, the structures are used for a place of reverence. Often many would journey far and wide to pay thanks for everything he has done. 

In the center lies the biggest of them all, flowers and candles are set up around it for ceremonial purposes. Every night new plants were replaced for the days to come. Like the other Archons, Murata was grateful for his people. When roaming the land, he spots commoners on their knees by the base of the statue during the late of night or the crack of dawn. Not wanting to disturb, the archon watches from afar. 

Today is different. Murata continues to walk along the path, listening to the noises coming from the forest animals and the creeks as the waters begin to rush at this hour of the night. He can’t help but let out the faintest of hums at the sounds of nature. 

He reaches for the side of his face, tucking a red strand behind his ear. Often the god will put his hair up into a low or high ponytail, but for outings in the cool atmosphere, he prefers to wear it down. His powers were compared to his hair many times. When describing his appearance, he listens to the children exaggerate saying his hair is literal flames that he can produce from the palm of his hands. Of course, this is nowhere near true, but a child’s imagination is quite amusing. 

In the distance, his crimson hues bore straight ahead at the small flickering light. 

“Someone must be up now,” he whispers to himself, debating on leaving them alone but instead, chooses to go up ahead and observe from a closer proximity. Muratans knew what their god looked like. He comes out during the day to pay visits but never for long periods of time. 

As quick as they see him, it's as quick as they’ll see him leave. No one can ever hold his attention for too long. 

The sound of strings being played can be heard from his spot-- and he halts. A lyre, one of his favorite pastimes and favorite instruments. 

Over the hill is a figure sitting beside the statue, back turned to him but he can see the movement of their arm. Curious, Murata continues to stalk forward quietly, not wanting to disturb the worshipper. 

The melody played is show-stopping in his eyes. He wonders if Celestia had sent down someone he was unaware of to play this just for him, and only him. If anything, he could settle on the grass and listen to them play for ages on end, wearying his immortal days out. Music was the only thing that could settle him, but not forever. 

Now, he's a mere few steps away from the cloaked figure. His face is lit up by the candles by his feet. His tongue peeks out of his lips as an unknown feeling bursts through his body. His palms felt sweaty and his heart rate increased. 

He winces when the wrong note is played, gritting his teeth together. The redhead doesn’t think much until a force pushes him backward.

“W-Why are you standing there watching me?! Don’t you know this place is meant for us to come together, not to be creepy like you just were right now?!”

“W-What?” he whispers in surprise, bringing a hand to cover his nose that suddenly feels wet. He pulls away, noticing the red drops on his skin. Blood.

“Don’t question me that way! You know exactly what you were doing…  A pig is what you are. Oh, just you wait until Murata finds out about this.”

“Murata huh?” he questions, wiping his hand on the grass, watching the blood dissolve into nothing-- the red trails of blood trickling down his nose come to an unsuspecting halt.

He clears his throat and comes to stand, staring down at the figure behind him. With the candlelight, a glimpse of crimson eyes and matching hair can be seen. In a matter of seconds, it's silent. Until there is a subtle gasp.

It amuses the Archon greatly to see a change in behavior and the fear present in the civilian's eyes. He wouldn’t dare try anything to her, but maybe it would lighten the mood if he did.

With desperate breaths of air, you reach forward and grab ahold of the man's hands, squeezing as hard as you could. “M-My Lord, I deeply apologize for my behavior! Please forgive me! I was foolish!”

“No need to be formal all of a sudden…mistakes are made and all can be forgiven. I must say, you are quite gifted with that instrument in your hand.”

Your face heats up, suddenly finding the ground much more interesting than him as you gaze down. Your god had just complimented you and yet here you are losing the composure you had seconds ago. 

“Thank you,” you whisper, hand clutching the lyre close to your chest. “It’s an honor to hear such wonderful words, especially coming from you.”

Murata stares down, an unexplainable look upon his face. Then, he smiles. 

“Your name?”

“Pardon?”

“What is your name? As someone as gifted as you, I think you deserve to have your name remembered.”

“My name is Y/N. For some reason, your kind words seem to boost my confidence. I normally don’t play in front of people, I’m too shy and afraid of their judgement. I only like to play in front of the statue… or in this case, you.”

“How about you play for me again?”

-

The angelic sounds of your lyre had been played more often since you’ve met the god. The night was when you shined, when no one was around to listen or stare at you. The dark sky made you feel alone, yet you were at peace. You found pleasure in playing for the Pyro Archon statue, yet having him sitting beside you and listening made your heart beat just a bit more than before.

During the day, you find yourself sitting under the big oak trees, the sunlight peeking through the leaves and shining upon you two. Murata lays close to you, eyes shut and lashes resting against his upper cheeks as the song lulls him to a quick nap or a state of serenity. 

He’ll comment on a subtle note, saying how he loves the pitch, or give recommendations. Many times Murata has taken your instrument and played a tune or two for you. He says every gentleman should at least know how to serenade a lady.

As a child, your family spoke highly of him. They even used him as a threat against you when you’ve done something wrong. Now that you look back, it was a mere hoax and it possibly scarred you just a bit. When you first told Murata this, he stared with his lower lip quivering before his shoulders started to shake and then, he let out a laugh. 

“Surely you didn’t believe that, right?”

“I did! I was a child, what else was I supposed to do?! I nearly wet my sheets when my mother told me that you would come and scare me!”

“Well come on now, are you still scared?”

He enjoys seeing you worked up—then again, he loves seeing you play the lyre. He stays quiet and watches your fingers move as if they had a mind of their own. You move with grace, without hesitation. There is no wrong note, no wrong string when you play. Sometimes being here with you in this moment made him feel like he was mortal. Like he was able to live freely.

Being bound to divinity in Celestia, Murata had wandered Teyvat for ages, alone. Each person he had gotten close to, he had to watch them disappear from this world in the shadows. At some point, he even had to pretend to be lost so others could forget about him. If they forgot about Murata, would the load be easier on the Pyro Archon’s shoulder?

But now, you’re aware of his status and who he truly is. If you were to stay by his side, would he be the last thing you see before you pass into the next life? He’s not sure, but he’s hoping that won’t be true. He couldn’t bear with the guilt that will get him worked once more at the thought of another mortal dying in front of his eyes. 

“Murata?” you ask one afternoon, sitting by the same statue you met him for the first time. “What’s it like?”

He steers his gaze away from the clouds and onto you, an eyebrow raised in question. “What is what like?”

“You know—” you start, messing with the material of your dress, head lowered. “Being a god?”

And then he freezes. Out of all the questions you could have possibly asked, this one had to be the most unexpected. 

“Why do you wish to know something like that?”

“I want to know what it’s like. Immortality and eternal beauty sound pretty amazing, doesn’t it?”

“No,” he immediately states, sitting upright. His body looks tense, posture perfect and hands in his lap. However, you notice the small twitch in his fingers, as if he’s thinking. You can hear the heaviness in his breathing—lips parted as the air slips in and out of his mouth.

How can living on this earth for years on end, watching people die in front of you like they are meaningless, be perfect? Is that what people thought about immortality? The faces of past friends from ages ago are nothing but a blob of color in his mind. He can’t remember their faces, nor their voices—only the memories they have shared, and even that is starting to fade away.

Murata cleared his throat, eyes fluttering shut. His chest heaved up slowly, before falling at the same rate. Soon, he opens his eyes and faces you. He reaches up and tightens his high ponytail, running his fingers through the red tresses. “The life of an immortal is not...ideal.”

“There comes a time where living forever is not as good as it seems. A human like yourself might think differently since there is an end to everyone’s journey. Death is inevitable for a human, and almost all are afraid of the end itself. Even… I am afraid there will be a time I will be cursed with that end. But for now, that’s something that rarely crosses my mind..”

And he continues. Murata proceeds to tell you about the drawbacks of being a God. When he speaks, you can see pain flash across his eyes as he recalls a memory of a loving friend who passed before him. He tells you there’s no avoiding this never ending nightmare. If there was a way he could overcome this spell of immortality, he would choose mortal life in an instant. 

He believes nothing good comes with this. In his eyes, everything gets destroyed by his hands. If he hadn’t created this nation, he wouldn’t be here with you, nor would he have people at his feet who love and worship him for everything—for giving them a home. He would be a traveler with no home, or loved ones.

The Archon doesn’t realize how much of his thoughts he spilled until he feels the warmth of another—your hand resting upon his cheek. This alerts him as he jolts, eyes wide as he stares at you. You wear a small smile, head cocked to the side. Your thumb moves on its own, wiping the tear away that dribbles down the swell of his face. 

His body relaxes, shoulders slouching as he relishes your touch, not having been caressed by another, let alone a human. If he’s being honest, it's been at least a century since he has gotten close to another mortal. It’s a foreign feeling, but he loves it nonetheless.

Your soft spoken words are enough for him to be at ease. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to continue through the suffering.”

In a vulnerable state, the tears continue to flow down his face, arms slithering around your body as he pulls you in close. At first the motion shocks you, but soon you return the action, hand resting on the small of his back and by his head, stroking the soft locks. You can hear the faint sobs that escape his lips and it’s strange. From stories, they state Murata was fierce, barely any emotion in him.

But he looks nothing more than a broken man in need of comfort. 

You press your lips against his head, humming softly to him. His arms tighten around you, a shaky breath slipping past. As much as Murata hates this feeling, but after being alone for as long as Teyvat had been founded, he thinks he deserves to be this close to someone again.

After moments of silence, the god is positioned beside you, hand resting on your thigh and head on your shoulder. His eyes feel heavy, the area feeling irritated and scratchy from his crying. As much as the thoughts still swirl in his head, they seem to be drowned out by the melody you play for him.

He lazily draws organic shapes with the pad of his finger on your skin, eyes beginning to close. 

Your lyre is one of the few beautiful things he has come across in his lifetime. You currently hold the number one spot for the most beauty he has seen but when you sit with your instrument, he swears he can see the wings of an angel behind you. 

He steers his gaze from the lyre to your face, eyes taking in the small details of your visage. A smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he notices the slip of your tongue peek from your lips, eyebrows creasing in concentration. Along with the melodies, he listens to your small hums as you play a song just for him-- one of worship and love.

His hand runs up your arm, halting your movements at once. Eyes opening, you stare forward for a second before looking down upon him. He recognises your confusion and lets out a laugh, hand trailing up before his thumb rests on your chin, making you keep your gaze on him.

Your face heats up at this interaction, mouth parted. Your breathing becomes uneven when you notice the close proximity. Your stomach flutters, the back of your throat suddenly going dry—no words able to slip through. His chest rises and falls just as quick as your own. 

His tongue peeks through, licking his lower lip. His crimson hues stare at your lips before averting his gaze to your eyes. As much as it’s tempting, now is not the right time.

“Beautiful,” he whispers quietly, for your ears only. “So beautiful… like an angel sent down from the divine...”

- The lyre, made of nature’s resources and carved into the most adoring shapes—the ends curving in different directions and a piece of excess wood piercing straight through the middle with a pointed tip and a rounded end. Made for the best, the lyre contains seven strings that seem to glow throughout the day and the night. 

In the middle, an emerald gem shines embedded on the wood, reflecting the rays of the sun, sparkling for all to see. Around lies the detail of the sun, the soft yellows encircling it. And just beneath that is gold details that resemble the wings of those who are free. Two flowers that are foreign to the land of Natlan are delicately engraved—their colors showing pure innocence.

The Cecilia flowers stay in bloom, never once dying out. Nor has any other grown in their place.

A perfect instrument, one of elegance and purity. Perfect for you. 

The origins of said lyre are unknown, yet when it was given to you as a young child, you didn’t dare question it. Instead, you took it with the biggest grin and thanked your father as many times as you could. You were intelligent and extremely talented. At first, your mother was skeptical of such an object being in the possession of an nine year old, but your father assured it was in safe hands. 

Since then, it’s been by your side to this day. It’s never been out of your grasp and you only let certain trusted people play it. For some reason, seeing others hold the instrument made you feel weird. 

Playing your gift made you feel like you were above the world, like you could ascend to Celestia and play for the gods. It felt as if some sort of divine power surged through your veins and riled you up. And now at the ripe age of 24, having the Pyro Archon by your side as you play for him daily, it feels as if your purpose of living has been complete. 

Seeing his soft smile and slight nods he gives when he's impressed (which is all the time) or when he places his hand on yours to play along with you. Having him close to you makes you feel warm, excited and giddy; almost like a young girl in love.

Which... You won’t lie to yourself about that. 

There have been times during the day where you catch yourself thinking about the red head. Thoughts of him swirl your head as you drift off to sleep and he’s the first thing you think about in the morning. Sometimes you notice that you make motions in the air, like you are stroking something, when in reality, you wish to have his head in your lap again as you play with the loose ends of red tresses.

The god was just so breathtaking. Staring into his eyes was mesmerizing. The color of flames held in his eyes drew you in so far, it felt as if you were walking through a pit of flames. Yet, these flames never extinguished or brought harm to you. 

“You’re lost in thought again,” Murata comments, poking your shoulder with his pointer finger. “You alright there? I don’t need you tripping over a rock or something.”

“Huh?” you ask, glancing over at him. “O-Oh it was nothing. I’m okay.” You offer a not so convincing smile, scratching the nape of your neck in embarrassment. Knowing you for a while, the god offers a nod and looks forward, his hands behind his back, steps in sync with yours.

You let your hand drop, clearing your throat as you hum, filling the silence with some noise. Your eyes wander around the area before gazing up at the tall man beside you. You take notice how the ends of his ponytail sway side to side with every step he takes.  

The apple of your cheeks heat up when you can see his back muscles flex as he straightens his posture. The shirt he wore let your imagination run wild; there was no doubt that Murta was built.

“It’s quite rude to stare,” Murata says out of nowhere, barely glancing over at you. “If you want, I can just stand in front of you so you can actually look at me face to face.”

“Oh be quiet,” you mutter, stepping forward and grabbing hold of his hand—his much larger, covering yours entirely. Upon contact, his fingers intertwined with yours, squeezing softly.

“You know I love messing with you,” he hums, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple, which you respond back to him with a quiet “I know.”

The rest of the walk is filled with comfortable silence. It’s a bit chilly in the land of Natlan. One of the many summer days that turn out to be filled with crisp air and cloudy skies. Storytellers always said if it were cloudy during the season of summer, karma and misfortune was on the way—yet no one believed such lies like that. 

His hand is so warm, you think, glancing down at your conjoined hands. Ever since that day by the giant stone statue of the god where you almost kissed him, his behavior towards you changed drastically. He’s been a bit more touchy (not that it bothered you; in fact, you loved it), holding your hand and somewhat more affectionate. At the end of your day when you would say goodbye, he would pull you close and plant a gentle kiss to your cheek or sometimes even close to your lips.

Just thinking about those actions makes you flustered, looking away from him and out to the open. 

“What do you think it means to be in love?”

Hearing those words from the man beside you causes you to choke on your saliva, hitting your chest to calm your ongoing coughs. When you’re finally composed, you gasp for air and stare at him in shock. “W-What do I think about that?”

“Mhm.” He nods, inhaling deeply, his other hand reaching up into the air as if he was stretching before lowering it. “What do you think it means to be in love? I’m curious as to what you humans think it might be.”

“I-” You gulp, eyes semi wide as you try to wrack your brain for anything. That was not a question you were expecting, especially right now. “W-Why do you want to know? Isn’t love, love?”

“Well, aren't there different ones? Can’t people be in love with parts of someone? Lets say, only being in love with someone for their status in the nation. Or just their looks but not for them. 

“Well… I think being in love with someone means you don’t care about their status or who they look or who they are.”

“Even if they’re a god?”

“Even if they’re a god.” you say confidently, before realizing what he said. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Even if they’re a god,” he repeats, stopping in his tracks as he turns to face you. His cheeks are painted with soft pink, red eyes averting from you. 

Murata’s heart is racing, far faster than it ever has in his life. HIs lips are dry, his mouth is parched. His shoulders heave with every deep breath he takes. Does the sweat of his hands bother you? God, he feels like a young boy about to confess his love to a girl he’s been pining over—although he's not completely wrong.

“Murata, what’s wrong?” you ask quietly, tilting yourself a bit to look up into his eyes as his head is lowered. “Are you okay?”

“Why are you so intoxicating?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Y-You’re all I can think of,” he stutters, squeezing his eyes shut. “I can’t get you out of my mind, even though I shouldn’t get close to those I love and care for. In the end, I’ll be here and be forced to live with this overweighting guilt that rests upon my shoulders as time continues to flow knowing that you’ll be dead.”

A hiccup gets caught in the back of his throat, his thoughts becoming foggy all of a sudden. “I don’t like this feeling. I absolutely despise it.  Many times after we hung out, I thought about disappearing again like I have before I got too close to anyone again. But I can’t let you go, nor will these memories ever go away.”

“Don’t you understand?” he whispers, hand shaking as his grip becomes tighter. “I can’t lose you… you’re too special to me already. I know there will be a day where we part ways forever but I want to be a part of your journey until then.”

His confession throws you for a loop. His words continue playing over and over in your head like a song you learned the night prior. You have this unexplainable feeling in your chest, yet it warms up as the seconds pass. Your whole body feels tingly, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. 

Your quietness is too much for him to handle right now—a bit silly if you were to ask the Archon himself. “Say something,” he mutters, shaking your hand lightly. The redhead can already feel the rejection pooling in the depths of his stomach, eating away at him.

“You... Do you love me?” you whisper, looking up at him with doe like eyes. Murata can’t seem to answer for himself, one hand cupping your cheek. He moves closer, his breath fanning your face. The flames in his eyes gaze into yours, losing himself in the color before he averts down to your lips. A quiet way of asking for consent.

You lean forward, lips barely brushing against his. It’s shy between the two of you. After having such strong feelings for each other, neither of you know how to proceed. No one moves, it feels time has stopped.

You feel him pull away slightly before going back in, his lips fully pressed against yours. His other hand drops yours, instead wrapping his arm around your lower back. Your chest pressed up against his, your finger runs up his side, to the top of his shoulder and around, cradling the back of his neck.

His finger tightens around the material of your coat you wore for the day, using it as leverage to keep you standing. His kisses are soft yet fierce. The softness of his lips and his scent up close are enough to drive you insane, enough to make your knees buckle and make you want more. You want more of him, Murata.

A small grunts leaves his mouth when you tug on his hair. In return, he nibbles on your lower lip, chuckling at the small noise you produce from his motion. It’s becoming harder to breathe as you stay in this position with him. If air wasn’t a necessity, you wouldn’t go for it. 

You pull away from him, panting softly as you gaze up into his eyes. His eyes hold nothing but love and adoration as he peers down at you. The corners of his lips curve upward as he leans in, barely presses against yours again before pulling away. He sneaks in a few quick pecks, listening to your quiet laughter.

“Of course I love you.” He makes you look up at him, your face cradled in his hands as if he was holding something delicate, something that could be wrecked and destroyed any second. “That’s why I asked you what you thought about it.”

“And I love you too,” you reply softly. “I thought.. After everything you wouldn’t want to have feelings like this, let alone a human.”

“Sometimes boundaries are meant to be broken if it means true happiness.”

-

“Tensions have arisen in the land of Natlan. Nearby gods have caused quite the stir, causing Murata to put it to a halt at once. Upon ascending to his seat in Celestia, there have been prophecies saying a great misfortune is underway and can arrive in an instant. Since then, he’s been worked up. He cares much about his nation and will let no harm come its way.” 

The bard strums the string before growing silent, letting his head hang forward, his pigtails falling in his face. “It’s a true shame that such a horrid thing came to be… If only he was strong enough as he said he was.”

Murmurs arise from the drunken peers, hiccups joining the air as they beg him to continue the song. Even if some wouldn’t remember this night in the morning, this was still enough entertainment. 

“W-What happened next, bard?! Finish it!” an adventurer gasps, holding his cup of alcohol close to his chest, his cheeks heated and a light pink.

“You wish to know?” the bard asks, peeking through his lashes, his two toned eyes staring into the soul of the bartender. “Why of course!” he laughs cheerfully then clears his throat, batting his eyelashes as he brings his hand to his chest.

“Although, I’m quite parched and would love to have another cup of Dandelion Wine! What do you say, Master Diluc?”

“My answer is no. Do not ask me for something when you will not pay in the end.”

“Agh what a shame,” the bard sighs, letting his head hang back but never breaking eye contact with the redhead. “Don’t you wish to know about the ending?”

“I could care less.” Diluc speaks through gritted teeth, arms crossed over his chest, the infamous pose he does every hour of the day. “I just want you out of here.”

“I’ll pay for him!” one of the nearby men yell, fumbling with his wallet to grab the gold circles of currency to give to the bartender—and all the bard can do is smile cheekily, opening his hand. 

“Well, looks like the drink is paid for. Can I have it now, Master Diluc?”

The red head, already annoyed with the behavior of the young man in front of him, reluctantly takes the coins from the drunk. Without speaking, he serves the singer his desired drink, noticing the small smirk he wears. “Why are you smiling at me like that?” he asks, eyeing him up and down.

“Because I’m getting to my favorite part.” He takes a sip of his drink and places the cup back down. After a pleasant sigh is heard from him as he takes hold on his lyre, stroking the white petals of the Cecilia flowers. “And you’re gonna love it.”

- Melodies of the lyre were played even during the darkest of times. The soft notes were enough to make anyone who felt down happy again, or at least content, even yourself. The colors of the strings being played was enough to put you at ease. Sometimes when you’re out in the town, many children would ask you to play their favorite song or at least a simplified version if you weren’t familiar with it. 

But as of now, all of Teyvat was in ruin. Murata had told you the truth; he hated keeping you in the dark when you deserved to know. As much as he disliked saying this, your life indeed was on the line, more than his. In fact, the whole nation was at risk, along with the other six neighboring ones. 

From other Archons, Murata heard that a water monster, Osial, had arisen and was ready to ruin and kill innocents for the sake of a seat in Celestia. Morax, who was the overseer of Liyue at the time, was trying his best to seal the beast with his spears.

In this case, Murata hopes a threat like this doesn't happen to Natlan. Especially when he’s not there to protect his people, to protect you.

Murata hears a gush of wind from behind him and the earth beneath him starts shaking. He wipes the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, small puffs of air slipping out of his mouth. He reaches above and tugs on the black hood of his cape. 

His archon outfit consists of silk white pants and black sleeveless shirt that resembled a vest with a slit down the middle of his torso. And to top it, a black cape flows behind, the hood covering his face from all to see. In his right hand, his fingers curl around the handle of his claymore.

A heavy burden rests upon his shoulders as he stares forward, seeing the world erupt into flames and utmost chaos. In the distance, he can hear the screams and cries of the families asking for mercy. He wonders what you would think about him if you were to see him right now. 

“Murata,” you whine, trailing the last syllable of his name as his lips peck against the bare skin of your shoulder. “Come on, you know that tickles.”

“Yeah? Maybe I’ll continue to do it,” he muses, nipping at your skin before blowing warm air onto your neck which causes you to squirm from him, pressing your hands against his chest. He listens to your soft laughs, loving the way your body moves under his touch. Your arms wrap around his neck, hugging him close as you hum, inhaling the scent you’ve grown to love. 

“Mmm… I love you.”

“And I love you too,” Murata whispers to no one, blinking rapidly when he realizes he was lost in thought and was not in fact with you, but only remembering a moment from a few days ago. In reality, here he stands in the middle of a deserted land that must be destroyed. Blood is on his hands, splattered on his face. 

“I didn’t even want to do this,” he mutters, grinding his teeth together as he proceeds to walk forward, watching red explosions burst from the ground, red blocks protruding from either ends of the nation. In the sky, the color purple takes over as lightning strikes down from the heavens and is brought forth onto the land. 

From his position, the ground had been cracked and was on the edge of being split apart if another Archon had used their powers against the nation. 

He lifts his claymore in the air, staring up at the red sky with anguish. His lips part as he whispers something to himself, reassuring that what he is about to do is alright and isn’t his fault. A sudden strike of his weapon pierces the land, flames bursting into the air and cracking the earth. 

Murata breathes heavily, leaning on the rounded edge of his weapon. Sweat trickles down his face, the hood falling off of his head. Two strands of hair fall forward, framing his face, the rest of it tied back into a low ponytail. 

The flames continue to run down the cracks which branch to smaller ones that cause the piece of rock beneath the surface to crumble and fall, leaving the terrain to become uneven. 

“Wow! Even from afar I can spot you,” a semi high pitched says from behind him. The Pyro Archon stiffens, internally groaning as he stares over his shoulder, meeting two green eyes. “Someone doesn’t look happy as he used to be.”

“Barbatos,” Murata grumbles, looking forward as he straightens his posture. With one hand, he picks his hood over his head once more and the other pulls his claymore from the ground, resting it on his shoulder. “What do you want from me now?”

“Just letting you know Morax has finished in the south region of Khaenri'ah,” Barabtos states, a frown growing on his lips as he looks away, the tips of his toes barely touching the ground as his wings keep him afloat. “You're not the only one who didn’t want this. We had no choice.”

“No choice huh…” He trails off, his claymore suddenly evaporating into thin air and gold dust left in its wake. “How are we loving, protecting gods if we just obliterated this nation with no god? What does that make us? We’re no better than those who do us wrong against our own homeland. We’re just like Decarabian. Nothing but tyrants.”

“Don’t bring up that name again.”

“Why? Because deep down you know it's true.”

“Because that was his own choice to keep us entrapped. We had no choice but to bring ruin. They felt-” Barbatos hesitates, licking his lower lip before continuing, “-they felt threatened. A nation with no god is a false one to Celestia. Everything must be in order. Khaenri’ah was not the case. We had to, or we’re next. The divine is not ready for a land with no god.”

“I shouldn’t have come.”

“Murata. If you hadn’t, who knows what would have happened to Natlan.” A deeper voice from behind him is heard, the sound of footsteps becoming louder before they stop beside him. “You and your people would have been in grave danger.”

“Unlike you, I don’t need to keep making contracts.”

Morax chuckles lightly, shaking his head, his ponytail swaying with the movement. “And how does that look on you, God of War?”

Murata shakes his head, refusing to look at the Anemo Archon and the Geo Archon. “War or not, this is not just. The victors burn bright and the losers turn to ash. This-” he motions to the now deserted land of dust and blood. The sky is a deep red, the sun or moon nowhere to be seen. The earth is uneven, mountains caving into the ground as streaks of dark colors emit from the ground. 

The spot the three archons stand upon is nothing but cracked ground, an empty space separating them and the rest of the debris. 

“This is not war.”

Even when he’s not in his right mind, the only thing that can put him to ease comes up, suddenly soothing his woes away. He closes his eyes, envisioning he’s somewhere else

“You’re so pretty,” you whisper in the god’s ear, twirling a strand of hair around your finger with a smile. “No wonder you’re a god. How could they not take you?”

“Please. You flatter me too much.” He grabs hold of your wrist, bringing it to his face, planting a kiss to it. “On the contrary, it should be you in my position. No, an angel is what you are.”

“An angel? Please, enlighten me.”

Murata shifts on his side to stare down at you, brushing the baby hairs from your face. A blanket covers your bodies from your previous intimate sessions, yet he remembers every curve, every flaw that’s perfection to his mind. “I mean, look at you. You’re too beautiful for this world.”

“Am I now?”

He nods, dipping his head slightly. The tip of his nose brushing against yours. “You are. You’re amazing. You’re everything in this world. You’re desirable but most importantly... you’re divine.”

“Wow, now I’m flattered.”

He smiles, the corners of his eyes creasing as he presses his lips against yours in a soft kiss. It lasts for a few seconds but it feels as if it goes on for years. When he pulls away, you cup his cheek. “And you are ethereal.”

The god shakes his head lightly with a sigh, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. You’re all he can think about. Even when he is busy taking away innocent lives and watching them get turned into monsters, the sweet image of your face continues to pop into his mind. You’re the light in the dark. 

He hates the feeling of being away from you, especially when he’s on close watch from Celestia. There’s something unsettling in the pit of his stomach that he can't quite put his finger on it. Murata watches Morax and Barbatos exchange a few words before he gasps, lifting his head up fast. “Natlan. It’s in danger.”

- The nation of Natlan, located in the southwestern region of Teyvat and home to the Pyro Archon, was under attack. There was no point in trying to save them, they were already too far gone. No god in sight yet the trails of monsters were left behind. Did the Archon truly love them like they said he did? Or was it all a lie to get people’s love?

The once beautiful land is ruined—looking like the one he destroyed not long ago. His statues that aided his people on their journeys far and wide were now broken and cracked. Chunks of stone litter the ground and crush nearby civilians. Whoever was standing beside those statues had been brought down along with them, no way to return. 

The god feels weak in the knees as he staggers over the dirt path that has noticeable traces of dried blood. No doubt from his people. Where are the bodies? He has no clue.

Houses have been torn apart, the roofs blown off and thrown into the field of flowers on the other side. He feels torn at heart. He wants to give up walking, already knowing the outcome but refuses to stop. He hopes that a few people, even just twenty people, can still be alive and he can move them somewhere else.

The night is cold and fresh as it was years ago. Only this time, the sounds of the animals in the creek aren’t heard and the wildlife is quiet. He looks towards the forest, hoping a deer or a boar will rush through the trees. But his hopes die when he notices that's not happening, and the habitat is burnt to ashes. 

“Somebody,” he croaks out, averting his eyes upward and freezes. Up ahead, in the center lies the biggest statue of them all, where flowers and candles are set up around it for ceremonial purposes. Every night new plants were replaced for the days to come. 

The most beautiful statue in all of Natlan has been crushed. The head of the statue is gone from the area (he can only assume it had been tossed across the nation or into the river). The candles are no longer intact,  the pieces scattered and buried into the burnt grass.

“No,” he whispers lowly before crying out, running towards it. His heart races as he steps closer and closer. All his worries and fears; he doesn’t want them to be real. He doesn’t want any of this to be real. He wants to be at home.

You.

You. 

Where are you?

He gasps for air and drops to his knees. Red eyes frantically search along the stone pieces. He plants his hands on the ground and hisses upon contact, retracting back. A rock share pierced his skin. Murata bites his lower lip as he shakes his hand, watching the piece fly off before he can continue looking.

Are you safe at home? You were, right? Surely you wouldn't come out when everything is being attacked, right? Yeah, that’s it. You’re safe at home waiting for him to return. Waiting for him to be in your arms so you can cry about your fears of losing your life and him.

And by the end he’ll calm you down, say soothing words into your ear as he holds you close, saying he’ll never leave like that again and stay with you forever. God or not, immortal or not, he plans to stay by your side. 

And then your lyre will be played for you and only you. He knows your favorite melodies. Oh so beautiful, he loves hearing you play them but this time, he’ll play for you until the end of time. 

Your lyre-

He freezes.

His hand hits something underneath the stone. Something smooth like wood and the prick of an object with a pointed tip—an all too familiar feeling.

With a grunt, he grabs ahold and heaves back, pulling it out from under the rubble. A surge of fear flows through his veins when he falls back, holding an object in his hands. 

It’s a cracked lyre, with pieces broken off where an emerald stone originally would have laid. The gold trinkets are ripped right off, the empty space now feeling dull. He notices the seven strings have now turned to three and aren’t holding their original color that glows. 

The only thing that’s untouched, however, are the Cecilia flowers. Not a hint of blood stains the white petals. 

His eyes grow wide when he gazes somewhere else, spotting a hand peeking out from the same spot he pulled the lyre from. A choked cry gets stuck in the back of his throat when it all clicks together.

You weren’t home like he thought you would have been. You weren’t waiting for him to return from his wages of war, to be in his arms. Instead, you did what you always did.

Worshipped Murata, under the ceremonial statue.

The one that caused your death. 

Tears well up in his eyes as he hugs the lyre close to his chest, mouth parting as a sob slips out. He rocks himself back and forth, shaking his head at this false reality but he knows this is all real. 

Murata babbles to himself, muttering things underneath his breath as he hyperventilates. He can’t catch his breath. His throat is closing in on him, the air too thick to even breathe right now. 

The tears blur his vision. He can’t see nor think straight anymore. The god of War was unable to save his people from the hardships of an incoming war. What kind of god was he? Was he even one? Or was he now a false one?

What seems to be years later, though it only is an hour or so, Murata finds himself standing on the edge of a cliff, dried up tears evident on his face. The whites of his eyes are red, the tip of his nose matching the same color. 

He sniffles, nose stuffed from the moments earlier. His breathing hasn’t changed a bit. His shoulders still shake with every inhale. The atmosphere around him is tense, maybe even too quiet for his liking. 

Behind him, he refuses to look back on the destruction he let happen. Even from a far enough distance, he can still clearly hear the crackling of fire and the sounds of a nation dying. 

He lowers his hand from his chest, spreading his fingers open. In a matter of seconds, the handle of his weapon appears slowly, the rest of the claymore following suit in gold dust. 

He peers down slightly, watching the red and black glow before dimming out. The slant from the edge of the weapon, one he has used to kill off his enemies without a thought. In the current state, he can see the traces of blood left behind. 

In his other hand is the damaged lyre. His fingers keep it close to his chest, his heart. One of the last things he had of you. The tip of his pointer fingers strums a string and he winces from the uneasy sound it produces. This instrument no longer plays the melodies he adored, and worse yet, the person he adores can no longer hear it. 

Murata was the Pyro Archon. Amongst the other gods, he was ruthless yet kind and merciful. When a threat was sent his way, he did not hesitate to take care of it. He took care of Natlan. 

Or, that’s what should have happened. 

He closes his eyes, goosebumps forming on his arms from the gust of wind that breezes by him, knocking his hood off. His hair that was let down swayed in the breeze, the loose ends flowing behind him. His bangs move slightly and then stop, falling in their original place. 

The rest of his cape follows in the wind, the ends flowing behind him like the draft was made just for him right now. 

“I let you down,” he says, clearing his throat. He stares at the colors of oranges, pinks and blues, meshed together to create the sunrise that he grew to love but now, he suddenly resents it. 

A single tear cascades down his face and lands on his bare chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, squeezing his eyes shut. A rare whimper slips past his lips. With a shake of his head, Murata brings the lyre to his face, pressing his lips against the cracked wood. 

A goodbye kiss should always be special, shouldn’t it?

He pulls away, stroking the place where the gem would have been at. “I’m so sorry my love.” He averts his gaze and lowers himself, dropping the lyre on the ground underneath his feet. 

“Even I could not save you from the end of your journey. And as your god, I failed to protect you.”

When he stands up straight, his fingers tighten around his claymore. He stares down at the instrument, longing for time to change and to go back. To go back to how things were before. 

He can still hear the sound of your life and your smile popping into his mind. At the thought, his lips curl upward faintly in a small smile. 

Oh how he misses you already. He still remembers when he first saw you on that day under the statue as you played for him. You were aggressive, that was for sure. No doubt about it when you swung at him with your lyre and accused him of being a disgusting pig.

He can only blame himself. Deep down, he knew a day like this would come, but he didn’t think it would happen so soon. 

But maybe now, as he called you his angel or an angel of Celestia, you can now ascend to where you truly belong. 

This isn’t goodbye, but a farewell, he thinks, clearing his throat as he gets closer to the edge. He peers downward at the ground miles beneath him.

As he failed here, he still has a job to do, no matter what. 

So then he jumps. He brings his claymore around and over his shoulder and swings it down. Flames engulf him in whole on his way down until he hits the ground with a thud, his weapon taking up all the impact. 

-

“And thus, the Pyro Archon aided in other nations against the treacherous demons that corrupted their land. After such heroic deeds, he was never to be seen. Many questioned: where did the god of War go? Who will remain victorious?”

“Many say he disappeared to join his love in the next life. Others say he stepped down as god to live amongst the mortals as he always wanted.” The bard hums and lays his lyre across his lap. 

“It’s a shame really, how beauty can go to waste.” His fingers run over an emerald gem that lies in the middle of the wood. His lyre was beautiful. 

The edges curved in different directions with a piece of wood piercing the top with a rounded end and pointed tip. Seven strings glowed recently as he placed the object to rest. 

“But it’s not as if it was her fault.” His slender fingers run over the white petals with a faux sigh of despair. “She would have been popular amongst the folks here, if she was immortal, of course. If only he kept his word to her saying he would protect her no matter what.”

The bartender drowns out the rest of Venti’s words, his eyes trained on the wood beneath his feet. 

Diluc Ragnvindr, owner of the Dawn Winery and Angel’s Share. Information is at his fingertips wherever he goes. In Mondstadt, he is a nobleman of high status. Everyone knows about him. 

His crimson eyes hold tears as he lets out a shaky breath, bringing a gloved hand to wipe away at the water that threatens to spill. 

He tries to keep his mind off of it but he can’t suppress it.

In front of him was Lord Barbatos himself—one he knew too well from millennia ago. Having fought with him in the Archon War, and the Destruction of Khaenri’ah, Diluc knew there was no way to get rid of him. 

It shocked him the most that the bard even remembers the story from back then. Even if other storytellers told this tale, Venti was the one that pierced his heart the most. 

“Master Diluc!” At the sound of his name, the red head hesitantly lifts up his head. Venti’s annoying smile greets him, pressing his finger against his cheek in a thinking motion. 

“Did you like it? I hope you did! I try to incorporate any stories of the divine. It seems that today was a hit. Don’t you think so?”

“Why are you bringing it up?” he whispers, not caring that tears trail down his face. “Why do you need to remind me of my failure?”

The other peers don’t seem to notice the usual calm and collective man in tears. They’re all too far gone in the hole of alcohol. 

Venti’s eyebrows crease, cocking his head to the side. “Failures? What do you mean? I’m just doing my job and singing like I always do. You’re doing great things in the Wine Industry. What failure could you possibly mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean!” Diluc snaps, slamming his hands on the counter in front of him, causing the bard to jump in his seat. “You know exactly what you’re doing!”

“Oh dear oh dear,” Venti sighs, shaking his head. He picks up his lyre, placing his lips against the wood. 

“So pretty huh?” he asks once he pulls away, a small smirk on his lips as he shows Diluc. “Wouldn’t it be amazing if you got to play this?”

The strings continue to shine, dimming and going bright again. An instrument perfect for anyone and in this case, for Barbatos. 

It pains Diluc to see him with your lyre. As much as you told him you despised other people holding it, he feels much more stronger about it. He wants nothing more than to snatch it from Venti’s hands and tell him to get out. 

“Others say that he wanders in the world right about now. No one knows what he looks like though. It’s a shame if anyone were to find him and blame him.” 

Venti’s fingers run over the strings. A melody is heard in the air, louder than any of the drunk men in the room. 

Diluc feels a sob beginning to form in the back of his throat. He wants nothing of this. He wants to truly go back home to Natlan with you. He could have made you a god and you could have been here with him today. 

As much as Diluc wants to look away, he’s mesmerized by the way the singer’s fingers move gracefully against the strings. For a split second, he could have swore he saw you sitting in his place, singing softly for his ears only. 

Like the angel you were. 

“But it seems that the god is afraid of confrontation. And yet, he seems to be mourning over his lover even after her death. If anyone were to be at fault, it would be his—” 

Venti stops, peering up at Diluc through his lashes. A sinister look was evident in his eyes. He paused for dramatic effect, a smirk growing on his lips. He hums and strums the last note.

“Isn’t that right, Murata?” Venti muses, asking a question in the form of a song. But in reality, he aimed it towards the redhead god standing in front of him. 

Diluc stares dumbfounded, mouth parted and eyes red from his silent crying. His hands are balled beside him. The peers cheer for the bard and offer drinks to compensate for his amazing singing—to which he laughs it off but takes the offers regardless. 

And all Murata can do is live with his own guilt, for the rest of his immortal life. Forever.

taglist: @reddriot @thicmitten @katsuhera @novvabeam @patt-writes-stuff @axther @tspice283  @bonitoge @mysticalchocolate @yanfeisrose @mowestruc @tokyosrevenge @jaegerverse @hu-tao-main @midnightangelfox​ (add yourself to the taglist up above!)

[lumosandnoxwriting]

Just Peachy - George Weasley

Title: Just Peachy Pairing: George x Fem!Reader Warnings: NSFW!! Pegging, male receiving oral, male fingering, slight fem!dom/sub!george, teasing, degradation. Seriously George takes it up the ass if you don’t like it don’t read it k thanks Summary: with the world wide web at his fingertips it’s only natural that George finds something new to try in the bedroom A/N: for the anon who wanted George getting pegged. Like I said in the warnings, George takes it up the ass so if that makes you uncomfy or you don’t like it don’t read! I’m also not tagging anyone as I don’t want to make anyone uncomfy or upset! Feedback is always welcome!

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Giving George a laptop and access to the internet turned out to be both a blessing and a curse. A curse because he quickly became obsessed with browsing the internet, and he spent most of his time scrolling away on reddit or with his headphones on, watching some random YouTube video. He could chatter on for hours about a thread he found on reddit or a meme he discovered when browsing on Instagram and once he discovered how to order things off of amazon it got even worse. At least once a day a package containing some random gismo or trinket arrived at the doorstep of their shared flat, and George would excitedly rip open the box and use whatever was inside for a few minutes before jumping back on his computer to order more useless crap.

But his newfound love of the internet was also a blessing. George had figured out how to connect his laptop to the tv in his and Y/N’s bedroom, and every night before falling asleep they would cuddle together in bed, watching some tv program or film on Netflix. Along with George’s obsession with shopping for useless gadgets, he’d started to pick things up for Y/N as well. It was never anything big, a box of her favorite chocolates, a candle he thought she’d enjoy the smell off, a new pair of fuzzy socks for her to wear around the flat in the winter. Just anything he saw that made him think of her.

George’s new love of the internet also did wonders for their sex life, something Y/N welcomed happily.

Along with the random cute presents George started ordering for Y/N, he also started ordering some sexy ones as well. Her wardrobe is now dripping in different sets of lingerie and her underwear drawer is filled to the brim with lace clad panties. Their sex toy collection has nearly doubled in size, with toys for them to use together or on their own being added to the mix. And thanks to George’s Pornhub premium subscription, they’ve tested out some new positions and kinks in the bedroom as well. Some were only a one time thing, others have become a permanent part of their intimate moments, but everything has been pleasurable, nonetheless. It’s made their relationship stronger and helped George ask for things he never thought he’d want, even those that may be a tad unconventional.

-

George clears his throat as he tugs Y/N closer to his side, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. He can tell she’s close to drifting off to sleep by the way her chest is moving with slow deep breaths and he knows he’ll never get the chance to ask the question that’s been burning on the tip of his tongue for weeks if he doesn’t do it now. “You ever heard of pegging?” he asks into the quiet of their bedroom.

“Like clothes pegs? The things you use to hang your washing up with?” Y/N mumbles sleepily into his chest.

George chuckles and he can feel some of his nerves easing away. “No, it’s like a sex thing.”

“Like putting clothes pegs on your nipples? Sounds kinda hot,” Y/N teases, turning so she can look up at George. “Though I imagine the splinters would be a nightmare to get out.”

“Not quite,” George responds, biting his lip. “It’s, um. This thing where. The girl wears this thing, a strapon, and um. Uses it to. Ya know, fuck the guy.” George’s cheeks feel like they’re on fire, and he looks up at the ceiling to avoid Y/N’s gaze.

“Oh,” she responds quietly, reaching up to cup one of George’s cheeks. She rubs the flushed skin with her thumb soothingly, waiting for him to relax into her touch before she continues. “Is that something you’re interested in? Something you want me to do to you?”

“I. Um. Uh. Yes, I think so. Only if you want to,” George babbles nervously, reaching up to run a hand through his hair.

Y/N grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers before bringing it down so she can press a few kisses to the back of his hand. “Georgie, look at me.” When George finally looks back down at her Y/N smiles softly and squeezes his hand. “You never have to be embarrassed about this kinda stuff with me George. If you wanna try it, we’ll try it. Simple as that.”

George leans down to kiss Y/N briefly. “Just didn’t want you to think I was weird or something.”

“Of course I think you’re weird,” Y/N teases, kissing him again. “But there’s loads of other reasons for that, and none of them have to do with your sexual preferences. There’s no shame here, love. I’ll do some research and then we’ll get down into it, yeah?”

“You’re the best, you know that?” George compliments, settling back into the pillows.

Y/N hums as her eyes flutter closed, letting the sound of George’s heartbeat lull her to sleep. “Damn right.”

-

Over the next few days Y/N spends every ounce of free time she has browsing different forums and websites, trying to find out all she can to make sure the experience is as pleasurable for the both of them as possible. She watches far more porn than she ever thought she would, spends hours searching on various sex toy websites to find the perfect strapon and she does more research on lube than any person should ever do in their lives.

Y/N keeps everything a secret from George until the day they’d decided would be best to try for the first time. They choose a Friday, that way George will have time to recover from any soreness before he’s expected to be back at work and if they both find it enjoyable, possibly do it again.

While George is at work Y/N decides to grab the strapon from where she’d been hiding it in the back of the closet, so she can clean it off one last time and figure out how to properly strap it to her body, so she doesn’t have to fumble with it later. The harness she’d chosen has a part that settles into her slit, with ridges and bumps that’ll drag across her clit with every thrust. A shiver runs down her spine as the cool leather wraps around her skin and she tightens the straps, adjusting them so they fit tight on her hips and thighs.

“This is kinda hot,” Y/N mumbles as she stares down at the dildo resting at attention in between her thighs. It’s flesh colored and slightly curved, and it’s about 7 inches long and moderately thick. She wraps her hand around it, slowly moving her wrist as if she’s jacking off. “Fucking hell,” she groans as the ridges on the strap brush her clit, her hips jerking forward. Y/N wraps her hand around the base and grabs her phone off of the bathroom counter, snapping a picture to send to George.

Can’t wait to have you begging for my cock xx

George takes his phone out when he feels it vibrate in his pocket, figuring its Y/N sending him a sweet message. Ever since she taught him how to text a few months ago she’s started sending him little things throughout the day while they’re apart. Usually it’s a text to let him know she’s thinking about him or sometimes it’s a meme or a video she found that she figures he’d enjoy too.

So, when he opens his phone and is met with a picture of her hand wrapped around the dildo Y/N plans on fucking him with later his cheeks immediately turn bright red as he nearly drops his phone on the ground. His cock twitches in his trousers and he has to grip the counter in front of him and take a few deep breaths to try and calm himself down. That image is going to be imbedded in his brain for the rest of the day, and he has no idea how he’s supposed to make it through the next few hours knowing what’s waiting for him at home.

“You alright?” Fred asks as he comes out of the back, taking in George’s flushed appearance.

George hums and nods, locking his phone and shoving it back in his pocket. “Yep. Just peachy.”

Fred gives him a look but doesn’t say anything more, and George sighs in relief, deciding to go help some customers to keep his mind off of Y/N.

-

“God damn,” George pants as Y/N grinds down in his lap, his grip on her hips tightening and his head tilting back to give her more room to bite at his neck.

After dinner and some more talking about what the rest of their evening will look like, Y/N lead George to the bedroom to get started. They had stood in the middle of their bedroom for what felt like hours, just kissing softly as they gently undressed each other. Once they were both down to nothing, but their underwear George settled in the middle of their bed with his back against the headboard, while Y/N straddled his waist and started to grind down against him. Now a few minutes later, George is fully hard in his boxers while Y/N continues to grind on him, her lips attacking his neck and one of her hands tugging at his hair while the other pinches and rolls his nipples.

“Feel good?” Y/N teases, twisting the nipple in her hand. George lets out a loud moan and Y/N can feel George’s cock twitch against her. “I’ll take that as a yes,” she continues, kissing her way back up to George’s mouth. Y/N tugs on his hair as they kiss, just letting their mouths move together for a few moments. “Are you ready for more?”

“Yes, please,” George confirms with a nod. He can feel some nerves rumbling in his stomach still, but Y/N’s soothing voice and gentle hands have put him at ease. He hasn’t stopped thinking about this moment since he suggested pegging over a week ago, and the picture Y/N sent him has only  made him more excited. “Want you to fuck me, Y/N.”

A shiver runs down Y/N’s spine at George’s words, and she kisses him briefly. “Patience, love. We gotta get you ready first. I’m gonna go get dressed. Want you to take your boxers off and lay back on the middle of the bed, yeah?” Y/N kisses George once more as he nods, before getting off the bed and heading into the bathroom attached to their room.

The strapon and lube are already waiting on the bathroom counter, and Y/N takes a deep breath as she shimmies out of her panties and grabs the strapon. She decides to keep her lacy black bralette on, as it’s one of George’s favorites and Y/N knows seeing her in it drives him wild. Y/N secures the strapon like she did this afternoon, groaning as the nubs rub against her clit. She’s already fairly turned on just from the grinding and she can’t imagine it’ll take much for her to cum once she’s fucking into George. She looks at herself one last time in the mirror before grabbing the bottle of lube and heading back into their bedroom. George is completely naked now, laying back on the bed with his head propped up by their pillows so he can watch Y/N’s every move.

“God you’re gorgeous,” George groans as Y/N comes back into the room, his eyes raking over her body. The leather straps wrapped around her skin make her thighs look even more divine, and his mouth waters as he takes notice of the dildo jutting out from between her thighs. “This is way hotter than I thought it would be.”

Y/N giggles as she settles on the bed between George’s legs, tossing the lube onto the bed next to him. “Yeah? You like my cock?” she teases as she hovers over George, attaching her lips to the base of his throat. She thrusts her hips against George slowly, letting the dildo drag against his cock.

George gasps as the dildo drags across his warm skin, a shiver running down his spine. “Shit that’s cold.”

“Sorry, baby,” Y/N apologizes as her lips start to trail down his chest towards his nipples. She lets her hot breath just barely breeze across one before she flicks at it with her tongue. George lets out a low moan, prompting her to give his other nipple the same treatment.

“It’s okay. Felt good,” George stutters out as Y/N takes one of his nipples into her mouth. He can feel the precum collecting on the tip of his cock dripping onto his stomach, and he thrusts his hips up, desperate for some friction.

“Gotta be patient, baby,” Y/N coos as she starts to kiss further down George’s body. “I’ll take care of you, don’t you worry.” Y/N presses a kiss to the tip of George’s cock, pulling away when he groans and thrusts his hips up into her touch. “Don’t be naughty, George,” Y/N warns as she grabs the lube.

George licks his lips as he watches Y/N spread the lube on her fingers, his legs automatically opening a bit wider. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Better be,” Y/N responds as she tosses the lube aside again. She grabs the base of George’s cock with her clean hand, leaning down and sucking the tip between her lips as one of her fingers circles his entrance. She takes him down fully as she sinks the first finger into him, the noise he lets out going straight to her core.

“Oh,” George gasps as Y/N starts to bob her head on his cock, his brain focused on the way her finger feels as it moves inside of him. “Feels good,” George moans, grinding his hips down against her hand. “Feels different, but good.”

Y/N hums around George as she continues to suck his cock, the hand on the base of him twisting as she adds another finger alongside the first. She’d read many guides on the best way to prepare someone, and she moves slowly, wanting George to feel as good as possible.

Y/N works at opening up George for a few minutes, getting up to three fingers into him while her tongue teases the tip of his cock. His hips are rocking down against her hand feverishly, and little mewls are leaving his lips as his chest heaves with deep breathes.

“Fuck me please,” George begs as Y/N crooks her fingers inside of him, his hands fisting in the bed sheets. His whole body feels like it’s on fire, and he’s ready to move on to the next step.

Y/N pulls off of George’s cock and looks up at him, groaning at how beautiful he looks. His chest his flushed red and his hair is messy from his hands running through it. “Yeah, baby? You ready for me to ruin you with my cock?”

George chokes on a moan as Y/N pulls her fingers out of him, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly empty. “God yes, please. Need to feel you inside of me. Wanna be full of your cock, Y/N.”

“Such a desperate little cock slut and I haven’t even fucked you yet, baby,” Y/N teases as she lubes up the dildo. She lets out a quiet moan as she strokes it, the little nubs and ridges on the harness giving her some much needed relief on her aching pussy. “You remember the safe word, right baby?”

George nods, a whimper falling from his lips as Y/N presses the tip of the dildo against his entrance. “I remember, yes,” he confirms, taking in a few shaky breaths.

Y/N grabs one of George’s knees, pushing his leg to the side to give her more room. “You ready, baby? Ready for me to fuck you with my cock? Turn you into a little cock whore?”

“Please,” George begs. He’s rock hard against his stomach and he’s desperate for Y/N to finally sink into him. “Oh my fuck,” George moans as Y/N’s hips push forward slowly, not stopping until the dildo is in him completely and the leather straps are digging into the backs of his thighs.

Y/N rubs George’s hips soothingly, watching his face contort into some mixture of pleasure and pain. “You doing okay, Georgie? Talk to me baby.”

George slowly pushes his hips down against Y/N, a moan falling from his mouth at the sensation. It burns slightly, but in an amazing way, and George feels full in a way he never has before. “Feels so fucking good,” he whines, pushing his hips down against Y/N’s in a steady pace. “Need you to move, Y/N fuck. Please. So full of you, so full of your cock.”

“Fucks sake,” Y/N moans as she starts to move her hips, slowly pulling out of George before she fucks back into him. The noise George lets out as she starts to fuck him goes right to her core, and the feeling of the nubs rubbing against her clit prompts her to slam back into George harder. “You like the way I fuck you, Georgie? Like how my big cock stretches you out?”

“Merlin, yes,” George moans as Y/N starts to move faster one of his hands coming down to stroke his cock in time with her thrusts. “Love the way you fuck me, Y/N. Feels better than I ever thought it would.” George wraps one of his hands around his thigh, pulling his legs up to his chest. The new angle allows for Y/N to fuck into him deeper, and he lets out a long whine as the tip of the dildo finally brushes his sweet spot. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, right there Y/N please,” he begs, as he tips his head back against the pillows.

“Such a fucking slut, baby,” Y/N teases as she starts to fuck into George harder. The bumps and ridges on the harness brush against her clit roughly, and she can feel her wetness dripping down onto her thighs. George looks absolutely ethereal, and it does nothing but push her closer to her own orgasm. His chest is red and covered in a sheen of sweat and the noises falling from his mouth are going right to her core.

George groans as the tip of the dildo brushes his sweet spot with every one of Y/N’s thrusts, and he releases his cock so he can grab his other thigh and bring his leg up to his chest, allowing Y/N to somehow fuck into him even deeper. “Only for you, Y/N. Love being your cock slut.”

“That’s right, baby. My little slut.” Y/N can feel her orgasm approaching, and she wraps her hand around George’s cock, stroking him in time with her thrusts, her thumb rubbing over the tip and spreading his precum down the shaft to make her hand slide easier. “Fuck, George. ‘M gonna cum. Come on, baby. Be a good little cock slut and cum on my cock.”

Y/N’s hand on his cock pushes George over the edge, and he can feel his walls clench around the dildo as he cums, pleasure rolling through his body. Her name leaves his mouth in a loud shout as he shoots his seed all over Y/N’s hand and his own stomach.

“Fuck, George,” Y/N moans as her own orgasm washes over her, the rhythm of her hips stuttering as the pleasure rockets through her body. She releases George’s cock as soon as it stops twitching, letting her hips slow to a gentle roll before pulling out of George completely.

George releases his legs and lets them fall back against the bed, inhaling slowly as he tries to catch his breath. “Fucking Christ, I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard.”

Y/N giggles as she crawls up George’s body, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Glad you liked it, because it was so fucking hot, George. Like so unbelievably hot.” She kisses George again, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “I’ll be right back, yeah? Gonna grab something to clean you up.”

Y/N comes back from the bathroom a few minutes later back in the panties she’d taken off earlier, with a washcloth in one hand and a glass of water in the other. She hands George the water with a smile as she settles between his thighs.

“Thanks, love,” George murmurs before taking a sip, nearly chocking as Y/N runs the warm washcloth along his bum. “Could have given a guy some warning,” he teases through his coughing fit.

“Sorry, love,” Y/N giggles as she wipes up his stomach. Once George is clean Y/N tosses the washcloth on the floor for them to deal with later, before crawling back up the bed. “So, feel good?”

George places the empty glass on his bedside table before pulling Y/N into a deep kiss. “My arse is a little sore but other than that yes, incredible.”

“I’ve got some salve you can use tomorrow if you want. Figured it might come in handy.” Y/N pulls back the covers so she and George can get into bed, letting him pull her onto his chest. “I love you, George.”

George chuckles and leans down to press a kiss to Y/N’s forehead. “I love you too, Y/N. Thank you for not thinking I’m a weirdo.”

“I told you,” Y/N muses with a laugh as George grabs his wand, giving it a flick so the lights in their room turn off. “I absolutely think you’re a weirdo, a weirdo who looks super fucking hot cumming on my cock.”

[accioecho]

Lee Da Hee for GQ Korea

"Everything becomes memories in the end. You should always strive to have a positive energy."

Feel free to share this translated interview! Though I would appreciate if you could credit me by linking back to this blog or tagging me on Twitter ^_^

GQ: But... uh, why do you look so happy? You’re looking at me with such a happy expression that I don’t know what to do right now.

LDH: Hahaha. No but if I kept listening with a blank expression, I would come off as cold looking. And you would go: “Are you in a bad mood?” So I try to smile more. Otherwise I would come off as cold looking.

GQ: That’s quite a big difference. I got startled when you pulled a straight face.

LDH: Right, it looks like I’m angry. But I’m not, so this is why I try to smile more. If I don’t smile like this, people tend to think I’m cranky. Of course when I get angry, I have a temper, but I’m not usually like that.

LDH: And it goes both ways, it’s easier for me to open up to someone if that person is smiling instead of sporting an expressionless face.

GQ: You were laughing/smiling so brightly that I was kind of hypnotized.

LDH: Hahaha

GQ: When you appeared in the drama “Beauty Inside”, you weren’t the typical villain wearing a red lipstick but were the kind of villain to wear a new, nude shade.

LDH: Ohh, that’s a very nice way to put it.

GQ: Really?

LDH: A nude tone villain. This is the first time I’m hearing this expression, I like it. Yes, up until then, secondary female characters usually tried to win someone’s heart or because they lacked attention and love, they tended to bother the female lead. But “Beauty Inside” was different. It was a different kind of role. I played a villain but my character wasn’t hateful. She had her own convictions and that’s why she was so interesting.    

GQ: Kang Sara was that kind of character, played by Lee Da Hee.

LDH: This is why I didn’t want to play the typical secondary character, the typical second female lead. Yes she was given a fancy background but I also wanted to try something new, something different. Not something that could be shown through strong makeup, I wanted to add a layer of depth to her style.

GQ: I think we could feel the difference hence why it was so interesting. It was obvious that you studied this role a lot and this perfected style has stuck to you, the actress.

LDH: Well, first of all, I find it fun to radically search for something new. In a way that doesn’t stand out too much, while still being faithful to the character, I try to bring out the best of what I can do. Back when I was younger, I had no clue about all that so I just did what I was told to do. As I matured, I discovered what were my weaknesses, what to cover/hide etc. For example, you might think that I’m skinny, and that all my clothes fit me well. But I have a big bone structure so clothes don’t fit all that easily. But because I know this about me, I’m able to adapt,  know how to find the right clothes to try to keep looking pretty. Thanks to the GQ photoshoot, I got to try out this colorful mascara for the first time. And it’s so much fun. As I experience new things one by one, I’m able to see what’s right for me and what’s not.

GQ: It might be insensitive/rude to say this to an actress who has a career spanning 20 years, but I feel like the name Lee Da Hee has become clearer to me since “Beauty Inside”.

LDH: No it’s not insensitive. I’m really thankful that you remember me from that role. No matter how recent the drama is, the point is that you remember me because I left you a good impression. I really appreciate it. To be honest, a lot of people remember me from my role in Beauty Inside. People actually think I didn’t play in many projects before that.

GQ: But you did consistently star in various projects.

LDH: Yes, but I guess they weren’t memorable roles. I don’t think I played characters that stayed in people’s minds. Beyond the character and the role in itself. A drama can be loved by a lot of people, but beyond that, when I watch a show as a viewer, there are some actors that leave a deep impression in the way they play their characters. I wonder if I lacked that kind of aspect. I kept thinking to myself that maybe there was something missing in my acting that didn’t leave a memorable impression.

GQ: You left quite a strong impression after playing roles like Kang Sara in Beauty Inside and Cha Hyeon in Search: WWW. But more recently in LUCA: the beginning, I feel like you shed that strong image. If you found a type of role that fit you, you could have just kept on playing the same kind of characters, but it looks like you’re not afraid to radically change your image.

LDH: You’re right, I wanted to do something different. I wanted to show a different side, something that differed from the bright roles I usually played. After Beauty Inside and Search: www, I was afraid of being type casted. I didn’t want people to think I always played the same kind of roles. But I think I was was too confident when I chose to play in LUCA. I thought I could do anything.

GQ: You thought you could do anything but it didn’t turn out this way?

LDH: Even my mom thought the same thing. That it wasn’t a really good fit. In a few words, she thought my acting felt a bit forced. Hahaha. That it didn’t really flow well. The main takeaway is that I tried something different. If it turns out to be a good fit, then it’s good and if it doesn’t, it means I can just find something that does.    

GQ: Your mother sounds like the type of person who doesn’t mince her words.

LDH: My mom is very level headed. Just by looking at my back, she can tell if I was focused or thinking about something else. I spent a lot of time with my mom, even more so than with friends, and I also cried a lot in front of her. If I ask her “Mom, what’s wrong with me”, she’ll tell me not to think these kind of thoughts, that whatever I’m thinking is not true. We had a lot of moments like that.

GQ: You looked so cheerful today that I didn’t think you could also have rough times.

LDH: Why wouldn’t I? I went through times of depression when I would think, “Am I charismatic enough?”, “Do I lack something as an actress?”. There were times when my self-esteem was very low.

Since I’m tall, I used to have Directors who always said “you don’t match, you don’t match” (with fellow actors). Since I couldn’t do anything about my height, I thought that I could at least work on my body, make myself smaller. So I worked really hard on my diet. I used to eat rice cake soup that my mom used to make using beef broth, once every day. My mom followed along and did the diets with me. Every time. You can guess what kind of mom she is, right? I used to say: “Mom, should we at least drink soju since we only had one meal today?” And we’d share a bottle.

GQ: Hahaha, I see that you don’t hide your positive energy.

LDH: Everything becomes memories in the end. You should always strive to have a positive energy. And try not to think negatively. This way, you can find more motivation when an opportunity comes along, and this is also how more opportunities come up. I know that if I don’t love myself, I’ll end up being depressed and have a low self-esteem. So starting with myself, I also try to be nice to everyone, to compliment them. Let’s not be hurtful, and let’s try not to say mean things. I try to tell myself I’m a good person, and I project that to others as well. Let’s be nice to each other. Let’s be someone that gives off a good energy.

GQ: Why did you hurt your knee?

LDH: Ah, this? (Points to her left knee). I rode one of those electric scooters and fell as I tried to avoid an electric pole.

GQ: It must have hurt a lot if you fell while riding it.

LDH: I’m okay now. It was a bit concerning at first, but I’m just glad I didn’t hurt my face. It’s too bad I fell while riding it for the first time, but I wanted to try it so I learned my lesson now. I don’t even look at the scooters now. I know they’re too dangerous for me.

GQ: You made a very decisive conclusion based on your experience.

LDH: Yes, I should never try to ride a scooter again.

GQ: I also see a scar on your neck. Do you fall often?

LDH: Hahaha. No, I was washing a necklace. It’s a necklace made with my grandmother’s ring but the edge is a bit sharp. I got scratched while washing it a bit hastily.

GQ: Did you grow up under your grandmother’s care?

LDH: No I didn’t... actually both of my grandparents died in a car accident. They were so healthy so I thought they would live for a long time, but they suddenly passed away. When I didn’t work for a while, they used to say “When are you going to make money”, or “how long are you planning to live like that, without earning any money for your mom and dad”. It hurt me sometimes. But whenever I appeared on tv, they were the first ones to watch, and they always asked me when I would be on TV, on which channel... and when the time came, they always made sure to turn the tv on and watch my shows, and whenever we met, they told me they were proud of me, holding my hands and hugging me. I always think about these times. I miss them. Very much.

GQ: This is very moving. I believe these emotions and feelings make who you are.

LDH: I might sound like a crazy person, hahahah, but I have a picture of my grandma and grandpa next to my bed, and I always speak to them: “Grandma, I’m back”. If I’m upset about something, I say “Grandma, this thing just happened and this is so hard. I miss you.” - that’s how I cope and move on. This is how I try my best everyday. It makes me focus on what’s important. My family, tomorrow (the future) and all the things I love.

[kaisa-ryo]

Satoru Gojo NSFW Alphabet

Warning: English isn't my native language!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

A = Aftercare (What he likes after sex)

With slow movements, stroke your back with your large palms. Gently fingering your hair and mumbling something about your uniqueness. Then he will pause and move on to deeper caresses. Goose bumps will cover your whole body, and your heart will pound madly, which will cause an involuntary smile from Gojo. Let it be some strange mantric nonsense, a mysterious spell, with the help of which you can finally hide from everyone around you.

How rarely do you experience such a feeling of security, while the beloved man experiences an equally rare feeling - the love of the closest person, which gives him confidence for the whole day.

B = Body part (His favorite body part)

Chest.

At least because he considers her an integral part of the female body. And if you have it of impressive size - expect especially great attention to them. Namely licking, biting, scarlet sucking, spanking ... But don't think that this will only happen with big breasts. Medium or small, too, will not be left without affection. Seen from the outside, most of them may seem like feminine signs that complement orientation and are able to give relationships with a man such inner harmony that will make them extremely desirable.

The first place on your body where he will leave marks is your chest.

C = Cum (Everything about sperm)

Inside.

He loathes condoms, for which you constantly sulk at him, because you have to take birth control pills, and this, by the way, is not very pleasant. And in general, obeying the rules is not his forte. Therefore, he is firmly convinced that he possesses the mysterious art of doing what is beneficial to him alone.

D = Dirty secret

Not to say that it can be safely called a "dirty secret", but he has thoughts of selling you into sexual slavery to himself. Such thoughts first appeared in him when he realized that with your charm you were making him ill and, in a sense, making him weaker. And what an unpleasant humiliation for him, when the ideal woman of his fantasies suddenly appears out of nowhere and by her very existence spoils all his megalomania. To tell you the truth, this fact even turns him on a little. Based on this, he came to the conclusion that he will subdue you completely and completely with the help of sexual slavery.

Is it strange? Depends on how much you go crazy over him.

E = Experience

Gojo himself considers this question to be slightly incorrect. For example, if he had fucked other women before you, then you cannot say for sure that in those moments he definitely knew what to do. And if he hasn’t "shoved" anyone before you, it will always be possible to gain experience from a variety of sources of the vast networked web.

But if we talk about it, then in such cases he is helped by confidence and high self-esteem. Which gives him a considerable advantage in the field of sexual relations.

F = Favorite position

Opening.

When you swing your leg over his shoulder, and he continuously pushes, biting and licking the inner thigh. This action drives you crazy, and you are ready to beg him not to stop. When he reaches orgasm, you scream, and he squeezes you in his arms, showered you with kisses and pushes his excited flesh into your vagina, while he himself shakes with laughter. You know that this obscene act brings him such pleasure that he cannot stop. You cling to it with all your might, as if hoping that it will not stop and you will be able to reach the highest point of bliss. Therefore, it is so important for him to control the lower part of your body.

G = Goofy (Are you serious at this moment?)

Not at all.

In a sense, for him, this is nothing more than entertainment. But it also happens that he, fascinated by your alluring body, smell, look, goes crazy. And then anything can happen.

H = Hair (Is the hair ok?)

Not.

Once you asked him to put things in order at least once, after that you realized that it was useless, because instead of answering, he just laughed loudly.

I = Intimacy (Romance)

Yes, sometimes.

Even despite the fact that he does not treat women as much as, for example, Nanami, he considers his passion an exception, although, perhaps, not in all cases. He is pleased that he is considered some kind of incomprehensible male - “this is not even a man, but such a little dummy who thinks of nothing but sweets” - and this is a compliment for him. The most important thing is that you like to feel your exclusivity.

In his opinion, he considers the most romantic moment for you when he looks you in the eye. Well, of course, he is so tall and also with eyes, in which the whole universe seems to fit. Therefore, in order to impress you once again, he takes off the blindfold, looks into your eyes and says something very pleasant about you in a bewitching voice. And at the moment when you already lose the power of speech from this - bends down and kisses on the lips. He knows perfectly well that you will not resist one hundred percent before such.

J = Jack off (masturbation)

Never. Seriously, never.

He will not humiliate himself so much in front of himself, but in front of you ... there is even nothing to answer.

— I have never done this before... I will appreciate it if you teach me! — said Gojo, smiling broadly and spreading his arms to the sides.

— Quite a fool or what?..

— Oh? So can you show me how it's done? The man asked with a sad and obviously feigned expression on his face.

— Why don't you start doing it at all? What's so sexy about that?

In other words, he does not need this, because for such cases he always has you.

K = Kink (Kinks and fetishes)

Light BDSM elements such as bondage, gags, collars ... especially the black blindfold. He just goes crazy when he sees you with her. It seems that you imitate him, ready for all dirty manipulations, just to become like him. Heck.

After such a night, he will repeatedly hint that he really liked your yesterday's image. It is unlikely that you want to again fall for his next trick to trick you with various perversions. Not to mention, he'll drag you into bed anyway. You have no options, baby.

L = Location (Favorite places to have sex)

Prefers on the bed. He's not so much a fan of public places or hiding places. But if we talk about the audience ... he loves to play with your pussy with his fingers, so that you feel awkward and uncomfortable all the way home. But it's worth your wet panties.

M = Motivation

When you say how you want it at the most unexpected moment. Yes, yes, at least in the same audience. For him, this is the most exciting thing that can be with him. He had already checked everything before, no doubt. And such a mess in his thoughts, it’s just not clear why he should fight the curse when he can take you right here? Someday he will do so, believe me.

N = No (Which won't do)

Something for which you will not want to see him for a long time.

He may never show such an emotion as longing, but he certainly does. Just at such moments. When he comes to apologize to you, he will hide it again. According to many men in the world, girls do not take offense for long. True for Gojo, these words seem to be a lie, because you have been ignoring and abstracting from him for the third week. He thinks that this is natural, because he considers you not like everyone else. But it only makes my soul worse. Maybe he really was so guilty? Then it's really monstrous. Why hadn't he thought about it before? But anyone knows that it's his ego. It was then that he realizes that even the strongest make mistakes.

O = Oral (Likes to receive or to give)

Get. Do you know what his trick is? He always tries to give you as much as possible, so that in a fit of excitement you give him twice, because giving pleasure to you does not tire him at all! It's like swinging, only you don't understand that you are giving him not yourself, but your body, and you give it to him at that moment when you still don't know that you are giving him and yourself. You don't even notice it. So it gives him a huge plus. Not a bad bonus for you.

P = Pace

In this regard, variations take over. He even has his own trick - to scroll the first song that comes to mind and adjust to its rhythm. And oh God, such harmless stupidity does such amazing things... (!)

Q = Quickie

Also not unambiguous.

From the very beginning, it's kind of like very slow introductions, specifically for you to beg him to speed up. Stretching on a sense of anticipation that creeps through you. Satoru will maintain a slow pace until he moves his hips on his own to match his movements. And only then it will gradually pick up the desired speed.

R = Risk (Ready to experiment)

Anytime, just ask!

He himself does not mind trying something new, but only when you are completely sure that sex will be successful. Otherwise it will be awkward and unpleasant. While these are experiments after all, anything can go wrong. And it's one thing when you really think about the consequences, it's another thing when you have no doubt that as a result of "new" sex there will be a lot of pleasant sensations. But if you don't try, you won't know, right?

You also urge Satoru to be taken seriously and responsibly. By the way, an interesting fact — he ignores words about responsibility, but at the same time, in some magical way, everything goes perfectly. Well, in that case, you are lucky with a man, congratulations.

S = Stamina (Stamina)

Always adjusts to you.

He cannot enjoy the process if you are already exhausted just lying on the bed and trying to grab at least some notes of ecstasy. Perhaps this theory seems primitive, but Gojo believes that any sexual intercourse is nothing more than a change in posture, the purpose of which is to make intimacy pleasant. After all, it is also part of a complex whole in which body and mind harmoniously merge. Certainly not an indicator of sensitivity, as one might expect, but also not one's own narcissism.

T = Toys

Not an ardent fan, but there is some interest, and a very big one.

If he is out shopping and stumbles upon a "sex shop", prepare for the fact that he will bring everything that was there to your home and some strange enlightenment session will begin, because you did not even know about the existence of many toys.

— This one? Maybe this one? Or is it this one? Look how interesting!

— Gojo ... did you seriously empty the entire store just to show it to me?..

— The opinion of my beloved woman is much more important for me than the schedule for the import of new goods into the store.

— Why does it seem to me that you are laughing at me?

U = Unfair (Does he like to tease)

Yes! Yes! And yes again!

As mentioned earlier, he likes it when you beg him to speed up. But what if he stops altogether? Or maybe pull the cock out of your slit? There will be no limit to your charming whine! As soon as he does this, you try to put yourself on the penis on your own, while he, grinning, does not let you do it. As a reward, he sticks the head into your hole and again starts hammering like crazy into your hole.

V = Volume (How loud is it)

The only sounds he makes are short chuckles. They serve as a sign that he likes your movements, actions and moans. Sometimes he allows himself to snort. This is also a kind of signal - he experiences excitement from the same movements ... actions... moans... oh...

W = Wild card (Random headcanon)

Once you had such a case that after he finished, you immediately lost consciousness. And when she woke up, she decided that she had already died. You told about this to Sator, sitting next to you, who burst into loud laughter. He told how you passed out right at the end of sex, explaining that the blame for everything is his magnificence, just the same, leading to a swoon.

* In fact, for three minutes he could not understand what was happening and for an hour he tried to bring you to consciousness. And you lost it not because of its magnificence, but because of its multi-orgasm. As a result of this incident, the man did not do this with you for a while, as it was a little awkward. At that moment, the thought crossed his mind that he really killed you. And he still cannot forget it, although he has long ago got rid of such ridiculous thoughts associated with you and your fragile body.

X = X-ray (What's under the clothes)

19.5 cm, during erection ± 2

Y = Yearning (How high is the sex drive)

A serene magician never looks for a reason to do this with you. Only if you don't want it yourself. Sometimes it happens - completely on your initiative, and sometimes he independently makes you want it. This Devil with a bandage seems to see all your weaknesses from the most obvious, to the most secret and intimate: whispering in your ear, changing the timbre in his voice to a lower touch of his hands that slightly tickle your face ... He has a lot of ways to make you want what no matter how he spoke.

Therefore, to be honest - 7/10

Z = Zzz (How quickly falls asleep)

Are you sure he ever sleeps at all?

The most recurring case is when he watches you for a long time until he is sure that you are definitely asleep. Following, he will kiss you somewhere in the area of ​​the ear and go about his business.

But if we consider a rare case, then everything will turn out the other way around: it will wait for you to wake up to ask how you slept. The perfect moment to be alone with him without any obligation.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Okay, so i just wanted to say i fucking love ur blog with all my heart and it's my favorite on this wonderful hell site. But like you make me laugh and cry and feel so goddam loved. And i just wanted to tell you cuz u deserve that and i want u to know u bring joy into this world.

Umm anyway, what r ur favorite headcanons or just something that u absolutely love about bhna

-✨💛

WAIT ANON LET ME CRY FOR A SECOND. BECAUSE THIS IS SO PURE AND THE BEST COMPLIMENT YOU COULD EVER GIVE ME. THANKS FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ATTENTION. THIS IS A TREASURE I WON'T WASTE, I PROMISE. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

So my favorite headcanons and things about the bnha / mha world:

Nothing make sense. That's it. Everyone is secretly very dumb and they're all a big mess and that's why sometimes things are just pure comedy. They're like Denki's braincells after using his quirk but like, always.

Heroes, villains, vigilantes, civilians, they all pretend they don't know each other when they meet in the grocery stores and shops and malls.

No, that's not Best Jeanist discussing with Twice the quality of those jeans.

And of course that's not Inko and Kurogiri complaining about they're equally reckless children.

The UA kids are just a mass of chaos and memes. Specially when they're alone in the dorms. The security cameras footage can prove it.

Horikoshi hasn't show us the daily basis of the League of Villains because we would be addicted to it. Better than The Office, Parks and Recs or Friends.

I mean, I'm sure they get into the weirdest and most absurd situations. And they're villains who also happen to be kinda useless to normal stuff (I love them for that).

The whole mha / bnha would be better if it was based in the college experience and not the high school experience.

Most of Japan doesn't have a single clue about what the fuck is happening.

Actually, only Deku knows what's truly happening and that's why we know.

My confused academia.

We are where we are thanks to half of the characters in the manga having poor self-control.

You're telling me the kids have one or two special moves?

No bro, they have billions.

Sero has one called "using my tape to grab the pen that I accidentally threw at Bakugo because I don't want to die".

Tsuyu has one called "do I look like my frog ancestors went through evolution for me to keep up with your bullshit?"

Tsuyu doesn't know she has that one.

Shoto invented it. Everyone can see why.

Recovery Girl stopped appearing because Deku made it impossible for her to recover her mental health.

Every single quirk has an special use the owner refuse to talk about.

OMG I'm sorry this is pure shitposting.

This happens when you start writing after an hour of listening to Coconut Mall in repeat.

I love you anon.

Please forgive my brain.

Understand it had to leave me years ago.

Now there's only empty space.

And a rat trying to manipulate me through pulling my hair.

[i-am-a-reader-fear-me]

A Percabeth AU where they keep their relationship secret in fear of what their parents might think. (Warning: this goes over both PJO and HoO so it's very long):

The beginning of TLT goes as it should but after Percy is claimed, Annabeth is suddenly meaner and colder.

He remembers the Poseidon/Athena rivalry but doesn't see why they have to hate each other bcuz of their parents.

But Annabeth doesnt relent.

They still go on the quest together bcuz "you are so going to fail without a daughter of Athena."

But they still argue a lot and give poor Grover a satyr migraine.

When they have that bonding moment on the truck, Percy thinks maybe they're sorta friends, but Annabeth proves that wrong later by calling him a "Seaweed Brain" bcuz he's so stupid.

Percy fires back with "Wise Girl" but Annabeth seems to take that as more of a compliment than an insult.

(He doesn't stop calling her that tho)

After Luke betrays Percy, Annabeth's the one that found him after the dryads and she drags him to the infirmary but completely denies caring about him afterwards.

By SoM, Percy is so done with this and goes over to her asking if they could be friends.

Annabeth, who actually would like to be his friend, agrees with reluctancy, saying, "We have to keep it a secret though, or who knows what our parents might do."

Percy agrees.

Grover knows they're friends now cuz of the empathy link, but doesn't say anything.

In TTC, when Annabeth falls off the cliff, he blames himself more than ever, bcuz if they hadn't been fake arguing she might not have been distracted and fallen.

Thalia blames him even more too, and he has to keep his cover and can't tell her he knows it's all his fault.

Nico asks if Annabeth is Percy's girlfriend.

He says no, but he has a funny feeling in his heart.

He goes to the attic to ask the Oracle about Annabeth.

It doesn't answer.

When he thinks Artemis is about to ask Annabeth to join the Hunters, he knows he has to tell her something, even if it meant blowing their cover.

He breathes a sigh of relief when Artemis asks Thalia, and Annabeth is waiting for him to talk with narrowed eyes as if trying to figure out what he wants to say.

He chokes. (~Like doesn't say his feelings, not actually choke lol~)

In BotL, they are totally going out on a secret unofficial movie date but ofc the fiasco with Kelli at Goode happens.

Annabeth gets really jealous when Rachel appears. (Especially since Rachel has more opportunity to go out with Percy bcuz Annabeth and Percy have to pretend to hate each other.)

Percy, ofc, does not realize why in Hades she's acting like she really hates him even though they're in private.

At camp, they're playing Capture the Flag when they stumble on an entrance to the Labyrinth.

They go down to hide from monsters and end up stuck.

It's so dark Annabeth grabs his hand to keep from being separating. (~this is canon, they were holding hands I checked~)

When they find their way back out, it appears almost an hour had gone by when they were sure they were down for a couple minutes.

The campers were searching for the two of them and are immediately suspicious when they find the two alone. Together.

But they forget about that when Clarisse comes and asks about the "hole" they fell into and Annabeth suggests they continue talking in private.

It is then that Annabeth, Percy, Grover, and Tyson go on their quest.

When Annabeth and Percy reach Mount St. Helens they are quickly found out.

Percy tells Annabeth to escape saying he has a plan. (He really doesn't)

She kisses him. (~whaaaaaaaat~)

When she leaves, Percy apparently decides to cause a volcano to erupt. (~ya he doez~)

He lands on Ogygia, while Annabeth, thinking he is dead, goes back to camp, alone.

When she returns, they ask where Percy, Grover, and Tyson are but she refuses to say anything.

They realize what happened.

They have a burning of the shroud ceremony where she doesn't say anything, sitting, her face emotionless, but her heart in turmoil as she listens to Chiron.

That's when Percy crashes the funeral.

Annabeth is outraged.

She pretends it's because "THE WHOLE QUEST IS BEING HELD UP BECAUSE OF YOU! AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING, ENJOYING A VACATION AT PARADISE ISLAND?!?!"

It's really because she was head over heels with worry and grief (while he's off with sOmE imMorTal gOdDeSs) but she can't let anyone know that.

She is certainly not happy when Rachel joins their quest.

(Percy still doesn't get it.)

Before TLO, they are playing Capture the Flag, and the two are on opposite sides. (~in The Demigod Files, the story they find Festus for the first time in~)

Annabeth and Silena capture Percy and Beckendorf and the boys suffer an utter loss. (Were the myrmekes part of the plan? They'll never know.)

Beckendorf and Silena totally know they like each other no matter how much Percy and Annabeth fake it and try to get one of them to ask each other to the Independence Day firework show.

Annabeth does end up asking Percy and they watch the fireworks secretly next to the woods so no one sees them.

They hold hands or something else just as cute idk.

In TLO, when the Battle of Manhattan starts, everyone is surprised when Annabeth let's Percy take the lead.

When she takes the blade for Percy she says it was bcuz "I didn't know it was him!"

"So you would take a blade for anyone if it wasn't Percy?"

"...yes."

But by this time everyone secretly ships Percabeth so no one questions it.

After the war, Percy gives up immortality mostly for her but only those two know it. (And maybe Grover).

Annabeth asks him to meet her in the woods and when he does, she brings him a lumpy blue-colored cake which Tyson helped make. (Bcuz of course Tyson knows that they're secretly friends but Grover told him not to tell anyone).

They kiss, duh.

But then a monster comes out from the woods and they don't want to fight it after they just had a war so they run.

They end up by the lake and Percy pulls Annabeth in to get away from the monster.

Cue best underwater kiss ever.

They date in secret for two months but Percy's mom knows.

When Percy goes missing, Annabeth freaks.

She searches for him everywhere and if anyone asks why she's searching so hard for someone she doesn't even like, she just replies, "He probably just disappeared bcuz it's his turn to do the camp chores and I will not let him slack off," or "Who else am I supposed to use for target practice???"

(None of the campers who'd been in the Titan war buy it.)

In SoN, the only thing Percy remembers is Annabeth, but for some reason, he has this instinct to not tell anyone about her so he doesn't.

In MoA she still judo flips him and acts all mad (which she is) but he still laughs it off and says all sarcastic, "Oh, did the smartass daughter of Athena miss me?"

But he missed her too.

When they go to eat lunch Annabeth and Percy excuse themselves to "go to the bathroom" but they really snuck off to have their own private reunion.

"I missed you so much, Seaweed Brain. Don't ever disappear like that again."

"I'm sorry, Wise Girl. I missed you too."

*kissing*

Later, when Annabeth and Percy sneak off to the Pegasi stables on the Argo II and sleep next to each other.

Frank finds them.

They swear they didn't do anything and threaten Frank into silence.

He can never look at them the same way again though.

When Annabeth has to get the Athena Parthenos, Percy paces the deck of the Argo but says he's not worried about a daughter of Athena.

When she finally gets the statue, he goes down to meet her but she trips and falls into the Pit.

He catches her, but now he's hanging on a ledge.

"Percy, let me go. You can't pull us both up." She whispers, knowing they're too low for the others to hear.

"We're staying together. You're not getting away from me. Never again." He whispers back.

"As long as we're together."

At least in Tartarus, they don't have to pretend they don't absolutely, utterly love each other.

In Blood of Olympus, Percy, Annabeth, and Piper are walking underground to the monster's base in the Parthenon when they see a trident mark in the ground.

Annabeth says it's the place where Poseidon struck the ground.

At this point, Percy turns to Piper and asks, "Can you keep a secret?"

Piper nods.

That's when Percy kisses Annabeth.

When he pulls away, he says, "This is where the rivalry ends….for us, at least."

Piper acts surprised but on the inside she is rAGING bcuz now Leo owes her ten bucks but she can't tell him.

After the Giant war they consider telling their friends, but they're not sure…

Idk how to end this just keep going

Sort of a bonus:

The Hephaestus and Athena cabins worked together to make everyone monster-proof phones (which also correct their dyslexia) and Annabeth and Percy use them all the time to text each other and no one knows.

Jason asks Percy to come to a cafe with some of the others, and Annabeth and Percy are texting the whole time.

Their convo goes something like this:

'hey Annabeth, me, Jason, Frank and some of the others r going to that cafe on 31st street'

'*Jason, Frank, some of the others and I' 'Really? Piper, Hazel, and I are going there too. They mentioned Jason, Frank, and Leo might be there, but not you.'

'weird, they didn't say anything about u either' 'hey wait a sec, Jason's texting on some gc called Operation Get Them Together' 'the other guys' phones r ringing everytime he sends something…'

'What? Operation Get Them Together???'

'yeah'

'....'

'what'

'Oh no.'

'what??? Annabeth????'

'They're trying to set us up.'

'wdym set us up'

'I MEAN, they're TRYING to get us TO GET TOGETHER'

'huh?'

'THEY WANT US TO GO OUT PERCY! YOU KNOW, TO BE A COUPLE???'

'ok okkk u don't have to yell'

'🤦‍♀️'

'so what do we do'

'I think we should go along with it.'

'wait hold on, Jason's asking me who im texting'

'Wait, tell him it's your girlfriend. Just to screw with them.'

'haha yes ur a genius'

'I know.'

Percy tells Jason that he is texting his girlfriend, to which Jason replies by "What?!" and frantically starts typing on the group chat to tell everyone that 'YOU GUYS PERCY SAYS HE HAS A GF ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION!!!'

To which Piper is the first to reply, saying, 'Nah, trust me, keep going with it'

At this point, they reach the cafe, and the boys and girls meet up at a table.

Annabeth, immediately going into acting mode, says, "What is he doing here?"

Percy fires back with a scowl and says, "You didn't tell me she was going to be here. I'm leaving."

Jason stops him tho

Percy and Annabeth sit down at the table, but everyone is still standing.

Piper and Hazel say they have to go to the bathroom and leave.

Jason and Leo say they're going to go order (even tho it's a sit down with a menu and order type of cafe???)

Everyone seems to have some kind of excuse to leave until Percy and Annabeth are left alone.

The two pull out their phones again.

'Seriously? This is their plan? Say we're all going out to eat and then leave the two of us alone?'

'ig' 'what do we do now'

'I don't know.' They're probably spying on us…'

'um is that Reyna, Hazel, and Calypso in the bushes with mud and green war paint on their faces?'

Reyna, Hazel, and Calypso were indeed hiding in the bushes (with binoculars) with mud and green war paint on their faces.

'Wtf?? How'd they do that so fast???' 'And is that Leo and Piper holding newspapers with eyeholes cut through???'

'lol yea...then that eagle flying above us is prolly Frank'

'Jason is hiding in the clouds to your six.'

'where r Nico and Will?'

'I think that's them making out in the bushes.'

'lmaoo im so gonna tease them for that' 'so what do we do now Wise Girl'

'...' 'Follow my lead.'

'k'

Annabeth puts away her phone and stands up.

Percy follows her lead.

She says, "We know you guys are there, just come out. It's not going to work. And we see you too, Nico and Will."

The other demigods come out of their hiding spots (the two who had been called out looking especially sheepish).

"Why not?" Piper says, knowing perfectly well why not.

Percy looks between Annabeth and Piper, and seems to come to a decision.

"Because," he says and goes over to Annabeth and kisses her, "we're already together."

The responses were very diverse.

"What?!"

"I knew it!"

"Leo! My ten bucks. Now."

"Yeah, I walked in on them sleeping together…"

"So we did all this for nothing???"

"Wait, did you say sleeping together?"

They arguing stops as two flashes of light almost blind everyone and two gods appear.

Poseidon and Athena.

For several seconds, the two gods just stare at Percy and Annabeth (who are now holding hands just bcuz)

Then, finally, after what seemed and EXCRUCIATINGLY long time, Poseidon turns to Athena and says:

"I was right, you were wrong, I was RIGHT, you were WRONG, I WAS RIGHT, YOU WERE WRONG, YOU OWE ME FIFTY DRACHMAS BIRD BRAIN"

This was not the reaction the demigods was expecting if you couldn't tell

Athena just scowls and makes a pouch filled with drachmas appear, and throws it at Poseidon.

Poseidon catches it, bringing out what appears to be a phone and starts calling someone.

Athena goes over to Percy and Annabeth.

She looks mad, and Annabeth tries to let go of Percy's hand, panicking, trying to think of a lie, but Percy doesn't let go.

"My daughter is the smartest and best of my children, and as much as I don't approve of this, if she chose you, sea-spawn, she must have a good reason. But if you step one foot out of line, I will have you punished, understood?"

Athena addresses this to Percy, who nods fearfully.

"Good."

Suddenly there are a bunch more flashes of light as more gods appear bcuz apparently, Poseidon wanted everyone to see that he was right and Athena was wrong.

Ofc chaos ensues.

But Percy and Annabeth are still holding hands and look at each other and feel overwhelmingly happy for the first time in a long time because now they don't have to keep their relationship a secret anymore.

THE END~

WTF HAVE I WRITTEN.

[nctinfo]

[TRANS] Johnny & Jaehyun’s interview with W Korea May 2020 issue!

Today was a day where we borrowed the cinematic imagination of the 1996 film <Romeo and Juliet" directed by Baz Luhrmann and created two Romeos. Both of you portrayed the 'Modern Day Romeo' well, how did you think the shooting went? Johnny: It felt like we came out to play. The setting too, it felt just like any small town in America. When I was leaning against the bed during the shoot, I danced excitedly while holding a bunch of grapes (laughs). Romeo, I think, is someone who is honest with his feelings and who wants to achieve love till the end. Thanks to this, regardless of what others might think, I had fun during the shoot. Jaehyun: From the Hawaiian shirts with palm trees to leopard print belts. Above all, the outfits were bold. The point of today was to act like someone who plays around and has always worn this kind of style. There was a scene [in the movie] where Romeo flips over the white blankets and plays around with Juliet, but it wasn't easy [to portray that scene] because of the blood that rushed to my face (laughs).

It’s a shame we don’t have a Juliet today. If you were to summon Juliet right now, what outfit would she appear in? And what do you imagine would be the first thing she says? Johnny: A simple outfit would be nice. For today’s shoot I was wearing a white short sleeved t-shirt and cream coloured jeans, so Juliet would have a similar vibe and would say ‘Are you doing well?’ filled with affection and excitement. Jaehyun: She’d appear in a white t-shirt and blue jeans. With a short ‘I missed you’.

There are two male leads in the movie <Romeo and Juliet>. There is Romeo who is a romanticist with rich emotions but who is hesitant in front of love, and there is Tybalt who is a calm strategist but sometimes emits fiery charms like a bulldozer. Between the two, who do you feel like you're similar to? Johnny: I think I'm similar to Tybalt who wants to be like Romeo. I'm the type of person to carry out something immediately when you decide on it. On the other hand, I want to learn from Romeo's attitude to be faithful and honest with your feelings the moment you fall in love. Jaehyun: I'm the opposite of Johnny. I think I'm Romeo who wants to resemble Tybalt's calm and analytical side. Normally, I'm the type to follow my feelings rather than reasoning, so if I had to choose between the two, it would be Romeo.

If some day your story gets made into a movie, what song would you want to be played in the ending credits? Johnny: On bright sunny days like lately the mood is refreshed and tender. If the movie will be about me in spring, then Mac Miller’s ‘Circles’ would be nice. If I ever get to make a movie in the future, any Coldplay song would be good. Coldplay’s music feels like home, music genres come and go, but in the end when I need stability I always seem to turn to Coldplay. Jaehyun: In my own movie, first of all I don’t think we need a post credit scene (laugh). I’ve always cherished Chet Baker’s ‘I fall in love too easily’. It’s a tasty song that you can listen to on repeat with an empty head, without thinking anything. Chet Baker’s trumpet performance and voice always strangely draw my ears in.

The title song 'Kick It' of your 2nd full album <NCT#127 Neo Zone> that was released in March actively incorporates the identity of cine kids hero, Bruce Lee. Taking over Bruce Lee's baton, is there a movie protagonist who you want to express musically? Johnny: Exactly two people come to mind. First, Brad Pitt from the movie <Fight Club>, I want to try a song with a strong beat with a fighter's unique fiery temperament. It would be great to incorporate the shocking twist of the movie. The other is Will Smith in the movie <The Pursuit of Happiness>. It's a 'life' movie I want to give five stars. No matter what twists and turns, it's a movie that eventually ends with a happy ending. It would be nice to sing [a song] with a message that even though it's hard now, you'll be happy in the end. A slow ballad would suit that, right? Jaehyun: Even though I acted as him today, Romeo would be fun [to express]. It would be a song that shouts love, but it would be perfect if it contains everything from joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure like in the movie. When I think of James Dean in the movie <Rebel Without a Cause> I imagine music that puts together spicey funky beats based on the old sounds of jazz bands. Recently I'm really into jazz, soul, and R&B, so a band sound is essential.

Even if it's not someone who everyone knows like Bruce Lee, is there someone you two consider to be a hero? Johnny: I don't really express it well normally, but my mom? I'm an only child that was born late, so I always stuck to my mother when I was young. Looking back, I think my mother was a person who sacrificed herself to her family but still valued her happiness. I want to resemble the way she always lives consciously while having fun. It was my mother who taught me how to feel and enjoy every moment. My mom often told me that the experience of 'trying' something is important. For example, I spent my childhood in the United States, and no matter what, we always celebrated the independence day, which is on July 4th, with family and watched the fireworks. On days when the moon was bright and full, we'd be outside watching it. Thanks to this, I think I've grown up as a person with rich emotions. Jaehyun: my grandmother. Despite nearing 80 years old, she had been a dancer until recently and is now retired. She doesn't miss the broadcasts I appear on and watches everything, and after the broadcast ends, she will always send me long KakaoTalk messages with feedback. Because she's a dancer, there are times when she points out my fingertips and neckline but in general, she tells me what kind of mindset I should have when it comes to life. I always get advice from teachers and people around me, but strangely, every word from my grandmother seems to really pierce me. [She tells me] Don't mind others, live enjoying everything you can take on. I still hold [those words] close to me.

It's been quite a while since the first stage you did in the name of NCT 127. What was the driving force behind you during this long time? Johnny: fans, members, family. Looking back, it seems like it was people that led me. Fans are the 'reason' for me to do something. The members are my companions who walk together for this reason, and wouldn't my family be my roots. Having a place to go back to is a completely different story. I think it's family that shows me that I can fall sometimes and that I have somewhere to go back to. Jaehyun: I was able to endure my trainee days purely because I liked music. It's the same now. Of course, our fans who like our music and who come and watch our stages are a great strength too. One difference is that, until now, I relied on the people around me and tried to lean my body on the 'crew', but I seem to have found a driving force within myself recently. I give myself strength by pushing myself or complimenting myself, that's how I find enlightenment within myself. In this sense, as a human, I feel like I'm going through a time of maturity.

If you could go back in time, what would you tell yourself if you could pat yourself on the back right before going up on the stage for the first time? Johnny: ‘Have confidence. Even if your spirits fall, work on everything’. I don’t know how it might have looked on the outside but my state of mind now seems to be very different from then. I’m much more free now. I kept telling myself that I’m nice and confident, and now I think I am able to stand confident like this. I don’t know why I only saw the flaws in the past. Now, rather than trying to make up for my weaknesses, I tend to focus on maximising my strengths instead. Jaehyun: ‘Do what you want, what you think is right and what you like. Of course I know you’ll do fine, but it would be nice to be a bit more daring.’

What are 3 adjectives that describe you? Johnny: Energetic, romantic, selfish. The last word I chose because I think in order to make another person happy, I need to be happy myself and only when I have a sense of security I can care for other people. Jaehyun: I like classic stuff so first of all, classic, continuous because I always try to learn and grow, and firm in terms of trying to remain as stable as possible.

What were you born with, and on the other hand what weren’t you born with that you’re trying to achieve? Johnny: Seems like I was born with curiosity. Like I’ve mentioned before, my mom has influenced me a lot. On the other hand I want to make passion my thing. Sometimes I look at the members when I’m lazing around. Everyone has their ‘one passion’! Jaehyun: Ever since I was little I would always fix the TV at home whenever it broke down. I think I’ve been born with dexterity. I seem to be good at sports, but I really need flexibility (laugh). I also want to break up with my short lived resolve. To speak, I lack persistence a little. When I really like something or if I have a clear reason to do it, my body moves. If there’s neither, I fall into the swamp of one short lived resolve to another. (laugh)

As a listener of <NCTs Night Night>, a show that was hosted by the two of you in the past, I think you were compassionate and were counselors who had shown more empathy than other people of your age. Today, let's write the concerns of you two. What's your biggest concern now after passing April 12th, 2020? Johnny: Although it's a little embarrassing to say it in words, my biggest concern these days is how to be a strength for the fans who we can't meet because of the recent situation. Most importantly, I don't want to be distressed and spend this time more meaningful. Jaehyun: What the heck to do at home! I'm the type to be very active. Nobody can go outside so I'm working hard in trying to find something I can do home alone. I've watched movies, listened to music and cooked, but I can't help but still feel the itch [to do something].

When you watch your web variety show <NCT LIFE>, you two are often seen standing in the kitchen. Is there any dish you want to make for that one precious person in the future? I wonder what the specific recipe is and what the mood of the day will be like. Johnny: First of all, I wanna make breakfast. Omelets are good to eat in the morning. Omelets are well made when you think 'even though it's bad, it's good'! Stir-fry onions and bell peppers until they become sweet, then sprinkle some pepper to finish it. The time would be good at 09:30 am when the sunlight is strong enough to see the dust. That precious one would be sitting in a chair (laughs). The table will be set with cutlery and two cups of coffee. So that you can open the morning in a relaxed and simple manner. Jaehyun: Samgyetang and stir-fried pork, is that too native? (laughs) If I had to choose one, I will pick the stir-fried pork that was also complimented on <NCT LIFE>. Sometimes only red pepper paste or red pepper powder is used for the sauce, but I tend to use both. It would be great if there was a pretty plate with fruit too, it's the perfect dessert.

Even if it’s not a cooking moment, what’s the time, place, thing or person that makes you the most gentle? Johnny: From noon to 2pm. I feel the most peaceful when the sun is shining at that time. I don’t really care about the place. As for a thing, a scented candle that I have received as a gift while filming <NCT LIFE> in Thailand. For people, anyone! Jaehyun: Late night nearing the dawn. I really like watching the night view. I think the Han River could make me the most gentle. Personal things like earphones or speakers. Being together with family would be nice.

As a person and as a musician, what time do you think you’re going through? Johnny: I always feel like I'm at the starting line. Even when I do the same thing, I have to have a new mindset in order to grow. Jaehyun: It’s a slow process for humans but I seem to be slowly becoming more mature. As a musician, when the time comes I’ll be looking from a distance thinking I’m making ‘my own’ thing.

Translation: Alex, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: W Korea Scans — Do not repost or take out without our permission!

[treestargarden]

episode 4, “colorful girls” analysis

tw: child sexual abuse

this episode does not hold back. 

first of all, momo is ace and non-binary. no i won’t be elaborating. 

wonder killers’ dialogue:

next, the wonder killers absolutely say things that were important to the wonder girls’ irl trauma. this is from miwa’s wonder killer. she just had a conversation with momo where she revealed the hurtful things her mother said to her, like “why couldn’t you just take it” or “take it as a compliment, it means you’re cute.” it’s quite possible with this dialogue, that these were also things her abuser said to her quite often to make her believe simply by existing she was “asking for it.” 

wonder eggs’ inner strengths: 

its also possible that the wonder killers are... combinations of the wonder girls’ sources of trauma and not just 1 manifestation of 1 person, but rather all of the people connected to the trauma. 

in response, miwa says this:

and added on “you got married, because you love each other” in the first few minutes of meeting her, i was not expecting this. up to this point, we have met a lot of wonder girls who are tired, exhausted, sad, lonely (excluding the 2 girls that ai and rika are trying to save right now). but, given the fact that she was vocal about her abuse, i’m certain this is exactly how miwa would respond in this situation.

even more poignant, is the fact momo simply listened to miwa’s protest while they were fighting the wonder killer. they agreed with her. i find it fascinating. i’m not sure what to do with this info yet, but i already like momo (partly bc i /know/ they’re non-binary, like... that’s a genderfuck if i ever saw one). 

this next part really grabbed my attention, juxtaposed with miko and mako’s kill-assist. these girls are definitely not meant to seem helpless or meek or powerless. i really like that this show so far has been capturing the complexity of a “survivor’s” strength (again, quotes, because these girls are technically dead, but i don’t want to use the term “victim” because it implies they have no power). 

they recognize when someone else is in need of help and they easily flip the switch from saved to savior. i’m in love with these girls so far. their characterization is complex, intriguing, and realistic at this point. 

specifically with miwa, her “surrender” is not my interpretation at all. she specifically recognized that she did have some power in this situation to help momo, just as miko and mako had some power to assist ai. their approaches are entirely different, but that doesn’t make their courage, or the strength, wrong. i’m not angry at this characterization of miwa AT ALL. sometimes, the best way to avoid worse punishment is to give in, its just the fuckin reality of abuse. but it neither makes her weak, nor does it make the writers apologists. 

they /specifically/ juxtaposed the girls because they wanted to show that they had different strengths for different reasons and that neither were entirely powerless. they did the best they could in this situation. 

shit i love momo:

also, if you have read this far, this is why i think momo is non-binary: 

i have a few... thoughts about momo’s trauma specifically that may relate to momo being non-binary.

1) momo’s wonder eggs r rape “survivors.” if my theory that the wonder eggs directly relate to the irl peoples trauma, then it would be plausible that momo’s trauma is some form of sexual trauma.

2) continuing with the sexual trauma thread, and also including momo’s flashback, it’s quite possible between them and now, that momo’s trauma occurred between these 2 points in time. this is inferred by the obvious change in appearance.

3) what could have “caused” (this isn’t to blame momo’s trauma on momo, but it’s the closest word i could think of on the spot for trading out my theories) momo’s trauma?

i have a few ideas: momo has the face of a boy, but used to wear girls clothing and sometimes momos voice fluctuates from sounding like a boy to sounding like a girl. momo could have been correctively raped either for being perceived as a femboy, trans woman, or a dyke.

additionally the corrective rape could have happened /after/ momo started wearing boys clothes and someone would have taken notice that momo sounded like a girl but looked boyish.

in either case, momo confessed to an unnamed second girl that wearing boys clothes is “simpler.” even if momo doesn’t necessarily like it, it seems momo feels forced to present as a boy. at this point, it can then be inferred the boys clothing is probably a coping mechanism to deal with the trauma (and now i feel that the issue happened when momo still dressed/presented as a girl).

HOWEVER, not once does momo ever explicitly say momo is a girl, feels like a girl, wishes momo was a girl. only momo’s presentation has been discussed at this point. in the screen shots i provided above, i feel like most people would say “i /am/ a girl.” i think that momo at least identifies with girlhood, but i don’t think momo is attached to the identity of “girl.”

and momo is ace/aro because all of these relationships we see momo in are very one-sided. when miwa tells momo she loves momo, momo replies with “thank you.” and when miwa asks if they can continue cuddling “until i disappear” we get a closeup on momo who looks forlorn and thoughtful, who simply says “sure.” a lot of momo’s interactions with girls giving momo sexual/romantic attraction feel empty.

on the other hand, we see momo’s interactions with the other 3 main characters at the end of this chapter as very emotional, light. it’s probably the /most/ lighthearted we have seen momo. momo is not getting unwanted attention—they’re all just gossiping and laughing.

when we see momo’s flashbacks with haruka, we notice that haruka hugs momo but momo does not reciprocate the touching.

again, these are just threads that im seeing and excitedly pull apart, some of my theories are half baked until i have more information. but for me it’s plainly obvious that momo is an ace non-binary person. i know the fandom has been... having heated discourse about “what is momo /really/.” and for some reason this is controversial? really weird to me.

it’s a complex issue because gender is complex. for those of you that are binary, remember that you feel very knowledgeable about your own gender, but being non-binary is an absolutely different experience all together. we aren’t some “third gender” bullshit. and i’m quite enjoying seeing binary folks be confused about momo because that’s what being non-binary feels like. i wake up every day wondering what today’s gender will be. welcome to my fuckin life.

neiru:

i find it fascinating her personality has taken a complete 180 turn regarding ai. if we remember, in the beginning of their relationship, neiru was specific that ai could only contact her if she wished to change who buys eggs when. but once neiru was admitted to the hospital, ai started texting and visiting her throughout her healing period.

initially i thought this was more of a “keep your friends closer, your enemies closer” scenario, but then i went back to the episode 2 ending: 

at first, neiru forbade ai from texting her other than to make egg-buying arrangements. but neiru texted ai back with a thumbs up emoji. she isn’t being incredibly open, but given the development of her character so far, i think this is definitely her way of showing ai she trusts her and that neiru is opening up to her. 

settings:

so at this point, its pretty obvious that the location of the main characters’ worlds are always the same and they are specifically tied to their links’ places of death. 

neiru: unknown

ai: school

rika: gardens

momo: subway

from the other information we have gathered, its probably likely all of the links have died by suicide. 

neiru: unknown. however, we do know that neiru claims she could have stopped it. 

ai: a story of child sexual abuse/bullying. i’m not sure if koiko committed suicide because she was being molested or because of the bullying, but it could also be a combination of the 2

rika: rejection/fatphobia/eating disorder. chiemi committed suicide because of rika’s rejection based on fatphobia. chieme probably developed an eating disorder, evidenced by rika re-telling ai the day she visited chiemi’s funeral “she was skin and bones”. 

momo: rejection/unknown. haruka expressed attraction to momo. it seems momo may have rejected that love and haruka felt suicide was the best way to resolve her inner conflict. 

faults:

hmm at the same time, there are some hang-ups i have about this episode. a lot of these girls are so... love-starved, that even when a character shows the slightest bit of tenderness for them, they are quick to say “i love you!” miwa told momo she loved him, “even if i’ve only known you for a day” and this was juxtaposed by miko and mako telling rika and ai they loved them, too. there is something to be said about the attachment issues some of the wonder girls may have to people who help them resolve their trauma/healing. 

extra:

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Trust Me Coda

The ending to the Joshyme story I wrote years ago "Trust Me", that I've since deleted. I was hoping, that with the Way Back Machine, I could get all the chapters back and post it again and include this as the ending. But unfortunately, the Way Back Machine only gives me the first chapter (maybe someday I can find a way to get it all back). So I'm posting the ending by itself. It can be read and enjoyed by itself, as it also summarizes some things that happened in "Trust Me."

How They Met

Rhyme’s PoV

“Raimu… you’re reading the Shiver series? What if I started calling you ‘Ringo’, since that’s what Cole calls Sam in that series? You both have names that begin with ‘R’, yes?”

…Somehow, Rhyme just knew that this was Joshua who had suddenly appeared beside her and was asking this question. Even though she’d never met him before and had only heard horror stories from Beat, Shiki, and Neku. Because who else would so brazenly come up to her and ask such a question? As if he’d known her whole life and she owed him an answer for reading such bad literature in his eyes?

Blinking at the ashen-aired boy here at Molco, while she waited for Beat and Neku to get their Tin Pins that they were shopping for, Rhyme couldn’t help feeling a little incredulous here. “Really? You make yourself known to the Player you just randomly bring back to life even though she didn’t win—which must be a huge deal—and that’s what you have to ask? Honestly, I expected more from you, Joshua—if you don’t mind me calling you that—from what I’ve heard about you.”

Joshua chuckled at this… which Rhyme saw as a good sign, and as a hint that he wasn’t angry that she wasn’t poking fun at him and wasn’t going to turn her back into a Squirrel Noise again. But he still seemed to want to want to insult her, however, she noted with a frown on her face. “I can’t believe you’re reading something like Twilight. I expected better from you, Raimu.”

Rhyme really wanted to let Joshua have it here. She did (and usually she was such a nice person, too!). Because first off, where did he get off insulting her literary choices? And why was he being a creep, anyway?

But deciding to be the responsible little sister that Beat had always looked up to her for, Rhyme smiled and decided to be the bigger person and extended a hand Joshua’s way for him to shake… which he did very reluctantly, as the sun seemed to get in his eyes. “Why don’t we just start over here. I’m Rhyme, and who are you?”

“…I’m Joshua, I suppose. Though I really don’t know if I want to play along here, dear Raimu. Though I guess I’ll bite, and give this to you… Why are you reading Inkheart? You are reading that series at the same time as that horrible Shiver series, right? Actually, that is a good question. Do tell.” That was the first question Joshua had asked Rhyme when they met, when he came to see her in Molco when day when she was reading outside in the beautiful sunlight, waiting for Beat to come back out and join her after he’d bought some new Tin Pins.

Rhyme had turned around to happily tell the stranger why she was reading the book, because she loved having conversations with people about literature, but then she was met with the look of who could only have been the Composer of Shibuya, based off Beat, Neku, and Shiki’s descriptions of him, in order to keep her safe.

“I-” Rhyme suddenly stammered here. Because she was suddenly afraid of Joshua, as memories of what Beat, Neku, and Shiki had said came back to her. She was afraid that her reasons for reading this particular saga might upset him, and he might even strike her down for them. What to say here, then? Rhyme panicked. Or maybe she shouldn’t say anything?

“Do you like the fact that Mortimer and Meggie don’t believe in gods?” Joshua filled in her silence, smirking, as he played with a strand of his hair.

And Rhyme really thought that she had done something to offend him now—and that he might actually murder her in cold blood, like he had Neku—so she knew that she needed to find her words, and do something to make amends towards her savior.

So, taking a deep breath, Rhyme tried to do just that. “Even if I did… it wouldn’t be because of you, Joshua. I know you’re somewhat god-like. I just think it makes sense that those two characters would think legends about gods are all just stories, since they surrounded themselves with literature.”

“…Hmm. And perhaps it does, Raimu. Perhaps it does.”

Joshua was sitting beside Rhyme now; he had simply been standing before. And curiously… he was sitting rather close to her—not like a lover might; not quite that—but he also wasn’t at all caring about her need for space. And he stole Rhyme’s book from her before she could even blink, and flipped it to a certain page (it didn’t escape her attention that he left the Shiver sequel, “Linger”, alone. He must have really hated that book for some reason, which made it even weirder that he did, in fact, start calling her “Ringo.” Though Rhyme oddly didn’t mind. Perhaps she was too nice). “What do you think of Dustfinger having a thing for Mortimer’s wife?”

Though Rhyme could tell that that wasn’t the question Joshua had wanted to ask; and she told him as such, as she gingerly tried to take the novel back from him. “If you think I’m reading this because of the Game… I’m surprised you don’t ask if I think characters getting pulled into the fictional Inkheart world, is like Players going into the UG when they die. Joshua… can you be honest, and not make this all about tomes right now, and tell me what you really want with me? I’m sure it’s not this. Honesty is always the best policy, right?”

“Hehehe,” the might-as-well-demi-god laughed, as he put his legs over Rhyme’s… not in a sexual way. But in a teasing one, as if he was showing he was comfortable with her and didn’t understand social norms at all. “I suppose it is, huh, Raimu? That being said… I came to visit you, because I did think you forgot who so kindly brought you back to life, and wasn’t thanking him. And because I wanted to see if bringing you back to life was worth it… fortunately for you, I certainly think it was.”

That was certainly a lot to process! And there was a part of Rhyme that wanted to slap Joshua for thinking she owed him gratitude for not playing with her life, while another side of her wanted to grovel in gratitude at his feet for what he had done for her and Beat (Rhyme knew Beat never would have ever gotten over it if she hadn’t come back. So, she almost appreciated Joshua more for his sake than her own).

Rhyme also wanted to know how, exactly, she had proved to Joshua that she was “worth it”… and if she could do anything to ruin that idea in his head. Though hopefully not!

But before Rhyme got the chance, Neku and Beat were leaving the store to join her, and Joshua was disappearing, with the words, “We’ll meet again, Rhyme, and talk for real. I promise,” just barely heard in her ears.

…

And Rhyme and Joshua did meet up after that… a few times, actually. He showed up to one of their group hang-outs, where they’d decided to make pocky, and ended up helping Rhyme with that (when everyone else went to get sauces), when it was clear she was a disaster in the kitchen, she thought…

And then one time when she was at school… and they’d doodled some together, while they’d sat on the green—getting grass stains—and then after that, at a dance, weirdly enough (that Rhyme thought Joshua had only gone to because it reminded him of his deceased parents. She, however, had been forced to go, because her parents had been trying to make more of a girl out of her. And they’d danced together, as Joshua had reluctantly told her some of his backstory before he stomped off).

But even with all of the mixed feelings and signals… the two of them had fallen in love. But neither one of them were fools. And they knew if they really wanted to be together, Rhyme might have to die for it to happen—which made things taxing for them, too—but even with that… they had found happiness.

One of their best times being when Rhyme let Joshua brush her hair, and she ended up relating a story to him that she thought she’d never tell anyone.

“For the longest time… I actually didn’t know how to brush my hair. At least not fully, to be able get all the tangles out, that is. I think that’s why I kept it short for so long.”

And thankfully, it showed just how far they had come, that Josh did not mock her for this. Instead, he began massaging her shoulder with one hand, while continuing to take care of her hair with the brush in the other. “Is this because you’re autistic? I’ve often wondered if that’s why you’re so smart. And sometimes, autistic people have a hard time doing normal, every day things, and can almost need caretakers for them, but do genius things to make up for it… and there’s no shame in that. You just see the world differently.”

“Yes,” Rhyme admitted, placing a hand over her heart now, and leaning back to kiss Joshua on the cheek once. And he leaned into her gesture, she noticed, smiling. “It took me a while to figure that out. But I think it’s the answer. And I’m not ashamed of it anymore. Even if I hadn’t figured out how to style my hair… I wouldn’t hate who I am. Especially since, in so many areas, I am a genius, as you say… And thanks for saying that, Josh. Though I swear I’m not fishing for compliments here.”

Joshua “hmmed” at that, almost like he didn’t believe Rhyme (though she knew he was just acting). And she thought about bumping him on the head… but then they turned to face each other and both burst out laughing. And they somehow found their way into each other’s arms, too, with Rhyme’s back against Joshua’s chest and his chin on her head.

“As if I think you’d ever do something as selfish as ‘fish for compliments,’ Raimu,” Joshua told her, rolling his eyes.

“Hey! I’m not that selfless now, I’ll have you know…” Rhyme protested. “But in all seriousness,” Rhyme pretty much hummed here, “can we stay like this forever, Josh?”

“Yes, dear,” he promised, starting to remove her clothes, so they could tenderly make love. “I think we can.”

…

But their happiness wasn’t meant to last.

Joshua had angered the previous Composer of Shibuya (Jeffrey), who he actually hadn’t killed (and who had instead ascended to become an Angel), and the current Setagaya Composer (when he had murdered the old one accidentally… when he’d been fighting the hold Composer of Shibuya to become the new one and had erased Setagaya’s, when he’d been standing right on the line that separated Shibuya from Setagaya, and Setagaya’s Conductor had had to step up). As, if he wished it, he could be both the Composer of Shibuya and Setagaya.

Because of that, the Conductor, Rinoa(1), who had stepped up as Setagaya’s Composer had always feared that Josh would try to take their throne.

And Shibuya’s former Composer—who had been an elder to Josh, somewhat like Sanae, who Josh had forced to ascend, lest he kill him, and Josh didn’t want that—was afraid that he would try to become Composer of both places and become even more powerful than the Angels, perhaps.

And there was even more to the story than that.

And they wanted revenge on him.

And to do that, they murdered Rhyme… they actually locked her in a meat cellar, so she would freeze to death. By the time Josh and Mr. H found her, she had already been fading away. And Joshua had then done something that no Composer or Angel was supposed to do (and Rhyme had found all of this out far too late), which was go back in time one day so he could save her… But it had had its consequences.

Josh had targeted the Composer and Angel’s loved ones so they’d know what it was like to lose the one they loved, and maybe leave Rhyme alone… but in seeing this hatred and destruction from Joshua, for no good reason in her eyes—and thinking that maybe he was the monster she’d feared all along—Rhyme had broken up with him… and doomed Joshua to fall to darkness even more.

But things hadn’t ended there, either.

Because of course the Angel and Composer wanted to try and steal Joshua’s powers back. Of course they did. And thankfully, Joshua had had the good sense to come clean and explain everything to Rhyme a week before everything went down, so they could try to plan for the worst accordingly.

Joshua had stayed in the Room of Reckoning, and the Composer and Angel had sent quite a few Conductors and Reapers after Josh.

And Josh, after everything, was too heartless to really fight back. Partly because Rhyme was being horrible in not telling him she loved him and that they were of course going to get back together, she knew, but it was all too much and she needed a bit more time to process here.

And honestly, as it was, Rhyme was afraid that with the way Joshua was acting, even he and Sanae together wouldn’t be able to win against these Reapers and Jeffrey and Rinoa when they made their appearance. Which was when she came up with an idea.

“Sanae,” Rhyme begged now, as Joshua and her world was falling apart (and how much of her world was in Joshua, she realized now. She loved him so much! And she was foolish for ever having doubted him and risking this. But Rhyme knew that if she told Josh this now, it wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t affect his morale, as he would think she was just lying for him), “can you fly me to where Joshua first became Composer and put me into the UG there?”

“I can…” he allowed. “But you’ll be vulnerable without your Partner, Joshua. Though I suppose I can stay and help you for a moment. What are you-”

“Actually, it’s the fact that Josh and I are Partners in every sense of the word that I’m counting on.”

So, Sanae held Rhyme in his arms, and flew her out of her Shibuya River and up, up, up into the sky and further away from Shibuya and Joshua—and how Rhyme prayed to him that she was making the right choice here—and closer to Setagaya.

Once there, the first person she saw was Rinoa. And of course she would be here and wouldn’t have left yet. Rhyme could only hope that she could make a big enough show to get the bigger threat, the angel, to show up here, too, and not just this sniveling girl with the stiff upper lip.

“Where’s Jeffrey?” Rhyme demanded, as she wasted not even a second and sent lightning flying Rinoa’s way with her pin in hand.

And the blonde with the near white hair (gosh, was she blonde. And maybe her hair had even gotten lighter with her Composer powers. And perhaps that had even led to her becoming as entitled as she had? Would Rhyme become the same way if she chose this fate, she feared?) didn’t waste a moment in sneering at Rhyme for her efforts and sending earth magic her way with her own pin.

And though Sanae tried his best to dodge it, the rippling earthquake sliced Rhyme’s left leg open a decent amount as they moved and she cried in pain.

“Nowhere you need to know, girly. You should know this is above you, anyway. You only ever learned how to use just one psych, didn’t you? What are you going to do with just lightning?”

“The key, though, is being clever with it,” Rhyme challenged, sending a blast right at Rinoa’s heart, as Sanae got them to the ground and desperately tried to heal Rhyme’s leg. Rinoa shrieked in pain. And Rhyme felt bad for having guessed right, that even in death the arteries and joints that would have hurt you if injured while alive, would still hurt you badly if touched in the afterlife… But she had to save Joshua, so she didn’t have time to worry about it right now.

“Rhyme, as silly as it is, Angels can’t use healing pins like Players can,” Sanae whispered to her now, reaching into a bag he’d been smart enough to bring with him to look for gauze to try and wrap her leg in. “I guess who or whatever’s even higherup than us feels we’d be too powerful if we could use magic as well as pins. But if I use some of my powers here healing you, I may exhaust myself so I can’t help you and J later.”

Rhyme was about to tell Mr. H that it was fine: that while she was in a great deal of pain right now, she had figured that that would be the case for a lot of this, and had tried to mentally prepare herself to be able to withstand it.

But, of course, the real deal was something else entirely. Rhyme found herself biting her lip quite a few times, so she wouldn’t start crying, and so that Mr. H wouldn’t feel horrible upon seeing it.

But before she could get the words out, Rinoa had already recovered and was running headlong at Rhyme with a sword pin. And Rhyme just barely whipped her own shield one out to try and be able to parry. And she was able to dodge a few strikes. And she was amazed that she was able to do just that, as her knees tried to buckle under her weight, for Rinoa was unfortunately right that Rhyme wasn’t the best Player.

And as such, Rhyme eventually lost hold on the shield psych, and had to attempt the lightning psych once again, to try and use as a defense… which was more than faulty, since thunder in her hand hurt her, as well, but it was better than if an enemy had been throwing it at her, or if she’d just been being hammered on by Rinoa’s attack.

“Stop. Please, stop!” Rhyme cried out. “I know we can reason about this, if we just talk!” Rhyme had of course come here planning to erase Rinoa and Jeffrey if it came down to it—as she doubted they would give her another choice—but Joshua had changed so much for the better in loving her. She knew that he would give up being the Composer, and just return to the RG to be with her, if they gave him the option (though she knew he, as well as her, would hate the idea of leaving Shibuya to these monsters). But they were so out for blood, Rhyme doubted that they would see reason, but she would try, as her face started to bleed now, and the night sky took on a yellow color because of this intense light show.

“Rinoa, we don’t have to do this! Just get over your hate for Joshua and stop! You all partly brought this on yourselves, you know, by destroying his family and perceiving him as a bigger threat than he is. He didn’t mean to get the power of two Composers, so…”

And here Rinoa tipped her head back and laughed uproariously at Rhyme. Sanae, bless his heart, flew to Rhyme now and got her out of some of the line of fire. She knew he couldn’t interfere here much (as Producer, and since then it would be like he was trying to become two Composers plus an Angel), but he could still defend her some. “That’s rich, little girl,” the blonde whispered now, while looking at her nails that she had bitten to the quick. “I’ve been told a lot of lies as an elite. But I think you’ve been told even more for being in love. Clearly someone who once thought of destroying all of Shibuya is on a power high and wants that power… I almost feel bad for you for believing his lies. Step aside, little one, and Jeffrey and I won’t erase you for your infuriating Partner.”

“What’s most of all infuriating is murdering someone’s parents in cold blood, just because he can see the UG as a child, and you think he will be a threat to you. It’s not infuriating. It’s cruel, cold, disgusting, and inhumane. Especially since you two destroyed Joshua’s parents through beheading. Beheading! And then what you did to Rhyme... ” Sanae said the words that Rhyme had so desperately wanted to here, as he bravely stood in front of her to protect her.

His voice was furious, and Rhyme couldn’t blame him for that in the slightest. She was furious about what they had done to Joshua’s parents. And Sanae had known about this longer than Rhyme had, and had had even longer for this to make his blood boil.

But at the same time… his body language wasn’t hostile. He had a hand outstretched towards Rinoa, as if trying to tell her it wasn’t too late for her to end all this hostility and make amends, but Rhyme in her heart of hearts knew she wouldn’t take the olive branch.

And she didn’t.

She started shooting fire at the two of them now.

And then, Jeffrey appeared from the Higher Plane.

Rhyme really only knew about him from what Joshua had been able to tell her of the Angel. While he’d been able to use some magic to show her some memories he had of Rinoa, Josh wasn’t powerful enough to do that for an Angel. But he was as she would have expected: someone carrying a war hammer, and desperately trying to look stronger, for having been born with a “weak-sounding” name, perhaps.

“Yoshiya really sent his girl to face us and do his job?! Get out of the way, girl, or I’ll squash you flat!” “His name is Joshua,” both Rhyme and Sanae countered now, as Rhyme rolled out of the way of Jeffrey’s hammer and then Sanae helped her get out of the way of roses that Rinoa had tried to aim at her, like she was Tuxedo Kamen or something.

“No, it’s not,” Jeffrey argued. At which point, Rhyme just glowered at him. How had Joshua ever been close to this guy? It was clear that whatever love they had once had was long lost. And also… why were they standing having a discussion here, while these two were trying to kill them? Rhyme almost would have rather had the violence without the aimless talking, thank you very much!

“It’s Yoshiya!” Jeffrey continued on, much to Rhyme and Sanae’s annoyance. Rhyme continued to glare. Rinoa looked at them with a gloating look on her face, as if she thought all of this was true, too. And Sanae, seeming annoyed, and sensing a break in the answer, fished into his bag and started eating coffee beans. “Which sounds like ‘Yeshua.’ And even though everything about him was a load of bologna—and ‘Joshua’s’ parents only named him ‘Yoshiya’ so he’d fit in Japan better, when they really wanted it to just be ‘Joshua’—the name on his legal documents being so close to ‘Yeshua’ still seems to indicate he was made for great things. And I can’t stand for that. For that reason, he must die.”

“And so must you, for calling him ‘Yoshiya!’” Rhyme yelled furiously, charging at both menaces now.

And it was with her rage for everything they had done to Joshua—and them not even respecting his identity and wishes for his name now—that she finally snapped and put her full plan into effect. Rhyme pushed the two of them onto the line dissecting Shibuya and Setagaya and stood there herself.

And she then thought of Joshua, and their bond in every way: how they were eventually Partners in the Game, but also Partners in every sense in the word (she remembered the time he had tried to seduce her by touching her back. And she had had her clothes on, and really it shouldn’t have had a large effect on her at all. But since it was them, and they were so bonded, it had. It had).

Eventually, she and Joshua would marry… and, legally, what was his would be hers (in the eyes of the RG, at least. But Rhyme was banking on that being enough here). And so, she chose to be Composer of both Shibuya and Setagaya like he had the right to do, and encased herself in lightning.

Rhyme absolutely shook with power, but did not feel like she was losing herself, and she erased these two like it was the simplest thing in the world. With a snap of her fingers.

And Sanae breathed the sigh of relief that Rhyme herself couldn’t right now, because she still felt horrible for her actions, and somewhat at a loss with this power.

But finally… it was done, and these two’s hate for Joshua would never touch him again.

And the followers of these two should have been giving up now, if they sensed an all-powerful Composer was coming their way and Joshua would finally—finally—be safe.

They would all finally be safe.

Crying, as she began flying back to Shibuya now—her city, for the time being—with Sanae by her side—Rhyme told her companion, “Let’s get back to that kid, who needs us more than anything.”

And Sanae laughed, flying closer to her, so he could wrap an arm around her shoulder. “You got it, R.”

He’d officially adopted her into the family.

And Rhyme grinned. “The more the merrier with the letter nicknames, huh?”

And honestly? She couldn’t have been happier?

…

Once Rhyme made it back to the Room of Reckoning, she instantly wanted to run to Joshua and wrap him up in her arms. He definitely looked the worse for wear. Even more than she did right now: Probably because she was the Composer of Shibuya at the moment, and Setagaya, and thus that massive energy was healing her.

But she knew that she couldn’t.

To do so now, would make Joshua look weak, while he was still surrounded by Reapers, surprisingly, and any one of them could make a move to erase him now, if they weren’t careful.

Rhyme did settle on yelling to him, “Joshua, I love you… and I’m sorry for everything. If you’ll still have me, I’ll be with you and marry you!” however.

And never had she been so tactless and reckless, perhaps. But she thought if it would do the duty of giving hope to one that had been so without hope before—the one she loved most of all—she would happily look silly.

And Joshua caught Rhyme’s glance from across the room then, and he smirked at her: he was gazing at her as though she was the big man on campus for being the Composer of two areas right now, and she supposed she technically she was. And for now, that was enough and would have to do.

There also might have been lust in his eyes, but she was not focusing on that now. No, she wasn’t!

“So, as you can see,” Joshua said, flipping a strand of his fabulous hair, as he stood atop his throne—even as a mere Player now—and looked down at the Reapers below him, as if they were mere insects. “My Partner and I have a million schemes up our sleeves. Go now, if you don’t want to be erased like your superiors were. There might even be a promotion in it for you social climbers, if you act accordingly. Hehe.”

And since most Reapers were angling for the spot of Composer, and would want it now that that spot would soon be open in Setagaya (once Rhyme let that power go, and gave Joshua his proper title of Shibuya Composer back), they didn’t have to be told twice.

Rhyme could barely make out that one of the Reapers was redheaded with blue sunglasses… that another was a bigger man with long black hair, and that the strongest one seemed to be a dark-skinned little boy, who actually seemed about to help Joshua, rather than hurt him, she could see now, as he’d been leaning towards him with healing energy in his hand…, before they were all flying away, leaving Rhyme, Joshua, and Sanae alone.

“Joshua, I can give you powers back right now, if you want,” Rhyme whispered, the moment that everyone was gone. And she found herself by his side before she could even blink, hating how he was slouched over and injured like this. “Because if you steal something, you spend your whole life trying to keep it, and-”

Really, Rhyme had no idea why she’d said just that. And perhaps that was why she had quickly cut herself off. She didn’t mean to keep Joshua’s powers, of course. And he knew it well, too. It was just one of her silly adages that had come out of her mouth. And now, more than ever, did Rhyme hate how she seemed to say them at the drop of a hat.

She was about to try and back pedal and defend her position here—while Sanae guffawed at her lack of grace in the background… which was kind of like how her and Joshua’s whole relationship had started, huh?—but Josh actually seemed amused by her words, and moved in to kiss her as he laughed.

And it felt so good to kiss Joshua again! Rhyme found herself thinking, as she found her lips moving with his and their bodies becoming nestled together. Even without his Composer powers right now, loving him was like loving starlight, and Rhyme now honestly had no idea how she’d ever planned on giving any of this up.

“Hold onto them for now, dear,” Joshua told her, looking into her eyes for a long time and looking for nothing, something, or everything. Rhyme wasn’t sure which. “I’ll get them back soon enough, I know. But if you’re really going to become an Angel for me… it might be nice for me to fully understand what you’re giving up. And for you to try your future kind of power out, too. Anyway. What you did was so clever, Rhyme. I’d say I was proud of you. But I would have never expected less of you, Raimu. Of course you would just come up with the most genius plan to save the day. That’s just who you are.

“…But if you don’t mind, Rhyme. I think I’m going to take a nap right now. My body needs to heal. And it’s been a long time since I’ve really needed to sleep, so it might be nice to try it out just once”

There was a part of Rhyme that couldn’t believe that Josh didn’t want to sleep with her, or at least cuddle, now that they were finally back together again, and after everything they’d just been through together. But finding that she was at least mentally tired herself, Rhyme thought that that was the best idea in the world here, and curled up with him on his throne, and closed her eyes.

Joshua’s laziness wasn’t the worst thing in the world, really. Sometimes, it could even be inspiring.

…And soon, the two of them felt another body joining them, as well. It was Sanae, Rhyme knew. And Joshua woke up for a moment at that, to glare at him. But Sanae just puckered his lips at Josh, and then just leaned in ever closer to Josh and Rhyme, so Josh gave up and went back to sleep.

If Rhyme had to guess, Sanae wasn’t really exhausted—and truly couldn’t get exhausted—but perhaps just wanted to cuddle the two of them after everything that had just happened, where he might have thought he might lose two of his favorite kids. Or maybe he was messing with them some. Or just wanted to spend time with them here, if he was going to have to go back to the Higher Plane for a little bit, to sort Jeffrey’s mess out.

And Rhyme was more than fine with that. She completely loved and trusted Sanae and saw him as a part of her precious family, that she was so glad to have now.

So, in the arms of two men she loved more than anything… even as a sort of god that really didn’t need sleep, Rhyme slept well, and felt like she was home.

And really, she was. She knew that she was.

Some Months Later

Joshua’s PoV

“Rhyme… are you sure you want this?” Joshua asked now, looking at this girl who truly looked like the sun and might as well have been the sun to him.

And usually, he hated the hyperbole. But how else was he supposed to feel after she had recently saved him as expertly as she just had? He just… loved her so much. And Josh was no longer afraid to think the word anymore. It just seemed like a simple truth to him, like how he would also gladly annoy Neku until the day the former-Player died.

And it was for the reason that Joshua adored her so much, that he was willing to let her go, if he thought there was even the slightest chance that her being without him would make her happier than being by his side would.

Josh seriously doubted that she would take him up on the offer to refuse him. In fact, as she stood above him now, about to ascend, she looked at him incredulously for voicing these thoughts and he chuckled, putting his hands in his pockets.

Rhyme had been standing on a raised platform, preparing to ascend. And though she didn’t have to actually be “up in the air” in order to do just that, she was putting on a show like she did have to. Clearly, she had been hanging out with Shiki and Eri too much for being so dramatic now… but Josh wouldn’t have had it any other way. He was glad she was becoming louder in voicing her desires.

As Rhyme gently stepped down the stairs to reach Joshua’s level now—in a room that might have been a wedding dress fitting area in another life—and he held her hand to help her down the steps, Joshua expected her to tell him one of her favorite sayings, perhaps. That a problem shared was a problem halved, so of course Rhyme would be helping him out this way.

But instead, Rhyme laid a gentle hand on his cheek, beamed at him with crooked teeth, and explained her vision to him with the most sky-colored eyes that Joshua had ever seen. And it was hard not to get lost in both and choke up a little.

And Joshua did choke up some. Because it was too much. All too much. After he’d been tortured as he had—and been left by Rhyme for what he’d thought to be forever; though he understood well why she’d done it. Oh, did he ever—to see and feel such grace. This kind of love was more than what his parents had ever given him, definitely.

“Joshua,” Rhyme whispered, her palm curling against his cheek and finding a strand of his hair there, too. And oh, when she unintentionally brushed her fingers through his lock of hair that way, it was good. So good. “I love you. I love you so much. I have for a long time now… And you know this—being able to read my mind and all, you creep,” and Rhyme giggled at the last thing she said, so Joshua would know that she didn’t truly mean the end part of that sentence.

And Joshua was certainly glad that she did. Because while he suspected it—and could have even gleaned it himself by listening to her thoughts, like she’d said—it was still better to hear it from her, in what, perhaps, truly was some kind of wedding here. “So… of course a part of me was always going to make this decision. But becoming Producer of Shibuya, as Sanae gets promoted so he can look into some of the Angels’ corruption, allows me to protect the city I love. It’s the best of both worlds. I can still be in Shibuya plenty.

“And, eventually, I’d die again and have to make this sort of decision, anyway. I’m just speeding up the process. And since I defeated Rinoa and Jeffrey… it’s like my body’s already begun to ascend, you know… So, I will happily do this, if it means you don’t have to be alone anymore. Trust me.” And Rhyme perhaps smiled wider at him than she ever had before. It was in her eyes, too, as she took his hand.

…“Trust me,” there was the lesson Joshua had wanted his Players to learn in his Game. It was what he had desperately hoped that Neku would, perhaps, to give him reason to save this wonderful place that Shibuya was. And, yes. Joshua did see Shibuya as wonderful now.

How could he not? In this room they were in, there was a large picture window just behind Rhyme. And Josh could see the green of Miyashita Park spilling in. He could see a man walking his dog… and a girl helping a little old man across the street… as well as all the beautiful multi-colored flowers that were starting to grow in the Spring here, that none other than Neku and Shiki had stopped to smell in this moment (though he suspected they might have also been giving Rhyme another subtle goodbye).

Shibuya—no, the world—really was a beautiful place. And Joshua could finally see it now, because of people like Rhyme, Sanae, Neku, Shiki, and Beat. And he wasn’t afraid to live life anymore. Rather, he wanted to make up for all the time he’d lost and he knew that this was a good place to start.

“…I do trust you, Rhyme. I love you. And I thank you for trusting me, even though there were times I didn’t deserve it.” There had been times when Joshua had been pretty abusive to Rhyme during their relationship—or at least unhealthy with her—and he hated himself for it.

But Rhyme understood it as being because of the trauma he’d gone through. And how he’d never really been taught how to love, as his parents had thought he was a freak for being able to see the UG. But he’d finally figured it all out. And he could make up for the past, by loving Rhyme better than she’d ever been loved every single day. It was the least he could do for someone who had treated him so selflessly and opened his eyes and soul.

“Joshua, you do deserve it. I promise you. It’s not your fault you’ve been hurt. And there’s so much good in you—good that I’ve ever seen—that’s growing every day, and I love to help that flourish. It’s my own personal garden, and I’m happy to be a gardener… But we’re talking about things we’ve already hashed out plenty of times. Hehe. Are you ready to go?”

“Has there ever been a time I haven’t been ready, Raimu?” Joshua quipped.

Rhyme swatted his arm for that, but it was all in good fun. They both laughed.

Joshua extended his wings then, so he could begin fly towards the Higher Plane, just above them.

And Rhyme watched him… and remembered when she’d been Composer just a little bit before, and drew upon that knowledge and power (even the intense love she’d felt then) so she could do the same thing. And she, too, grew wings, and joined Joshua as they flew about in the sky.

She would always join him, and stay with him forever.

Joshua’s PoV Towards the Start of This Story

Though Joshua would never admit it to anyone but himself after having met her… there was something about that Raimu girl, that he couldn’t put his finger on.

But she was interesting. And fun, perhaps. And she challenged him.

And his clairvoyance kicked in now—preparing to tell him some things, if he wished it—but Joshua pushed it back.

He would rather have the mystery.

Whatever was going to happen with Rhyme, he thought he was probably in for a wild ride with her… and as someone who had always liked fun that others might deem as weird, Joshua knew that he wouldn’t change it for the world, as he watched her gleefully join her brother and Neku now, with their Tin Pins in hand.

Author’s Note: (1) NOT Final Fantasy VIII’s Rinoa. I just chose to name her that for reasons I don’t entirely know now, but it’s not FFVII’s Rinoa. Sorry for any confusion that might cause.

And it should be mentioned that I don’t hate the Shiver series. LOL

I hope you all enjoyed:)

And if anyone remembers “Trust Me” from ages ago, are you glad it has an ending now? Let me know!

And happy reading!

And happy TWEWY days, now that we finally have a sequel! Hopefully we might get a third game, too!

Dedicated to Liz, Dina, and Nicole, if you're still around (heck, Saro, too. Because even though you never read "Trust Me", none of this would have been possible without you, dear), and everyone else who loved this story. I'm sorry I couldn't end this in the best way possible (with all the chapters together here), but I'm glad I finally ended it. Thanks for everything, guys! You're seriously the best!

[dekuscrybaby]

Could I request a super shy reader asking out Bakugou ? Scenario or hcs ! Whichever you like ! She’s like super nervous and just ends up going on a rant on why she likes him and asks him out and he just blushes and says yes . I hope that’s not too specific or something >.

y’all be giving me too much freedom, like tell me to choose one format over another and you will end up getting both because that’s just the type of clown that i am! also, i’ll kinda be loosely basing this on me because i’m pretty shy myself, but i’ll keep it as general as possible! also pls my friend, i have none so feel free to privately message me or we can chat through asks i don’t mind 😌 also, i think i went a little overboard with the “scenario” but i’m not all that sorry bc i love my feral bby but also the scenario is kinda booty so sorry about that

(ps this is literally bakugou as you confess/rant to him)

out of the billions of people you could’ve had a crush on, your heart probably chose the worst person

bakugou katsuki, a very angry gremlin if you please

and i’m not saying that bakugou is ugly or anything

it’s the complete opposite actually, hence why you have a crush on him

bakugou’s physical appearance is far from ugly, he’s hands-down one of prettiest boys in your class

that being said, his personality can be considered an acquired taste

as kaminari once said his personality is comparable to “flaming hot garbage”

but that didn’t stop you from liking blasty boy

your friends know about your crush bc it’s just obvious to them and pretty much everyone else (except bakugou)

you’re always asked “what is there to like about bakugou?”

well, what isn’t there to like?

his ash-blonde hair always looks so soft, you just want to run your fingers through it

his eyes are just so beautiful and you want nothing more than to stare into those ruby orbs for hours and hours

his physique is just so amazing and let’s not get you started on how bad you want his muscular arms to wrap around you

and his thighs? phew, please! is it getting hot in here or what?

answer: it is getting hot and by that i mean your face has lit up all shades of red

confessing to crushes is usually hard regardless of how confident a person is but it’s even harder for you because you’re the shyest person in class a

you’re so shy that you’re just known for your blushy cheeks which turn even redder when you’re in the presence of lord explosion murder

you probably even struggle to get a full sentence in when you’re “talking” to him

you guys know how izuku stutters right? well you’re worse than that

you just have the FATTEST crush on this blonde douchebag

so what do your friends do about this crush?

they do what all friends do for their introverted friends with a huge crush on a huge ass extrovert

put you on the spot

*insert your shy ass mentally screeching*

to be fair, you’ve been crushing on bakugou since like the beginning of the school year

something has to happen before your entire class just decides to scream at bakugou about your very clear crush on him

for the sake of a chaotic confession, i’m gonna say that you’re apart of the bakusquad with mina being your best friend

and mina being mina, she’s SICK of your shit and wants you to tell katsuki how you feel

so what does she do?

she shoves you into the janitor’s closet with bakugou

will not let you out until you spill everything

“hey! raccoon eyes! you better let us out before i fucking explode your ass!” bakugou growled as he pounded on the metal door, obviously he was caught off guard. he was just walking back to class with you and your guys’ friends before mina’s crazy-ass pulled you back and shoved you into a small room.

“not until y/n fesses up!” mina shouted back, pulling on the door handle with all her might. she’s doing this for you, it’ll only help you and bakugou, it’s a mantra mina keeps going over in her head. hopefully, a mantra that will prevent her from being killed by the furious blonde.

“what the hell do you mean fesses up?” the blonde bellows out, still pounding at the door.

as they’re screaming and cursing at each other, you have your face hidden away in the sleeves of your school jacket. your face is the reddest it’s ever been and your mind has never spilled this many thoughts until now. your brain is so overwhelmed that there is practically no filter between your brain and your mouth so at this point you’re babbling on endlessly.

it’s not very loud, probably only loud enough for it to be heard in the small room you’re currently in, but that’s where the problem lies.you’re babbling on and on about your huge crush while he is in the same cramped up room as you are. to make matters worse, you guys are completely alone.

“what do i do now? i’m completely alone with the hottest guy in not just the class but probably even school. is mina really not gonna let us out until i tell him i like him? i mean she can’t keep us in here for too long, right? of course not! class is bound to start soon and she has to go to class. plus she has to let us out before mr. aizawa comes to look for us or something. then again, me confessing can’t go that bad. i mean what’s the worst that can happen? well, if i do end up confessing, then there’s a high chance that bakugou might not even like me back and then everything will be super awkward. he prob-”

you probably would’ve continued to rant on if it weren’t for bakugou’s rough voice pulling you out of your verbal thoughts, “what the hell are you going on about?”

you snapped your head up in the direction of your voice, “huh?”

“you heard me, rosy-cheeks. what are you going on about?” he questioned with a quirked eyebrow.

“r-r-rosy-cheeks?” the new nickname just made even more blood rush onto your already blushed cheeks.

bakugou rolled his eyes a bit, “yes, rosy-cheeks. your cheeks are always red so it suits you.”

“oh! uh, thanks i guess?” you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, not knowing how to respond to the slight compliment you received from your crush.

a quiet snicker could be heard from the opposite side of the door and that ended up provoking bakugou’s short temper.

“fucking let us out, you used tampon!” he began to yell again. (i couldn’t think of any other nicknames)

“i said i wasn’t letting you out until ms. rosy-cheeks confesses!” mina retorts, matching the level of intensity of katsuki’s voice.

“huh? and what should she be confessing?”

“i don’t know, bakugou, maybe you should ask her instead!” now it was bakugou’s turn to snap his head towards you.

“spill, y/l/n.” he said, his voice much softer than it was a few seconds ago.

“w-what?” you stuttered.

“the faster you tell me whatever mina wants you to tell me, the faster we can get out of here,” he grumbled as you began twiddling with your fingers.

“i-i can’t.”

bakugou sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “what do you mean you can’t?”

“i just can’t, bakugou.” you whimpered quietly.

“y/n, class is going to start again in less than ten minutes and i don’t know about you, but i don’t want to be held up after class by aizawa.”

“i’d rather be held up later than tell you,” you wrapped your arms around yourself, fearing that you’d make him upset.

“goddamnit, y/n! just tell me! it can’t be that hard!” he raises his voice and ultimately, this causes something in you to snap.

“okay, okay! i like you, okay? i’ve liked you for so long that it’s actually embarrassing. it’s just that you’re so cute and something about you just has my heart beating out of my chest. i always feel short of breath and lightheaded when i’m around you and i can’t do anything about it. you’re also so so smart and im actually jealous.” you drew in a quick breath before continuing.

“sure, you might not have the best personality ever according to others but i still find your ‘garbage-like’ personality drawing me into you. do you know how many times people come up to me asking why the hell i like you? it’s quite a shocker for them to hear that i basically like everything about you.”

“i like your spiky blonde hair that is probably super soft. i like your eyes that are the most beautiful shade of red and i always find myself lost in them whenever i look into them for even the briefest moments. i like how passionate you are about your goals and i like how you give your all to reach them. you’re just so amazing and i always find myself wanting to confess to you, hoping that you might feel the same way. i would just absolutely love to call you my boyfriend, you know?”

you finally concluded your rant after what felt like an eternity and for some reason, you forgot about the situation at hand. once you realized that you actually said everything out loud, you felt your entire body heat up. this has to be a dream. or maybe someone used their quirk and caused you to say all of that. not missing a single beat, you glanced up at bakugou, only to find him the same position as you. cheeks and even ears, a bright red that could easily rival midoriya’s sneakers.

“i-i-i, uhh…”

“tch,” bakugou interrupted what could’ve started another rant. “you could’ve just said so earlier.”

“what?” you stared at him with a gaped expression as his cheeks heated up even more,

“i’m just saying, you would’ve said this earlier…then maybe i would’ve been your boyfriend already,” bakugou mumbled as one of his sweaty palms, cradled the back of his neck.

“a-are you serious?”

“do i look like a liar to you, rosy-cheeks?”

“well, uh, no?”

“damn right. now let’s get to class, i’m pretty sure raccoon eyes heard the entirety of your rant and if she reacted anything like me, then she should be satisfied.”

you were still too shocked to properly digest what just happened that you for some reason didn’t feel bakugou take your hand to lead you out of the janitor’s closet. after you walked out with him, you turned your head and noticed mina grinning at you, congratulating you on what was your new relationship with the boy you’ve been pining over for ages.

[cto10121]

Why Does the Nurse Prefer Paris to Romeo?

After she returns from meeting Romeo, and Juliet desperately asks her what he said about their marriage, the Nurse goes into this humorous but very telling speech:

Nurse. Well, you have made a simple choice. You know not how to choose a man. Romeo? No, not he. Though his face be better than any man’s, yet his leg excels all men’s, and for a hand and a foot, and a body, though they be not to be talked on, yet they are past compare. He is not the flower of courtesy, but I’ll warrant him as gentle as a lamb. Go thy ways, wench. Serve God.

I find this fascinating.

Notice how the Nurse doesn’t really say why Romeo is the dumb choice, or what her problem with him is, but goes into another one of her comic desultory ramblings, this time on Romeo’s hotness that seems to undermine her assertion. The only true criticism or justification she offers is merely that “He is not the flower of courtesy,” and even that is mitigated by a compliment to Romeo’s character (“as gentle as a lamb”). While this is obvious foreshadowing for the Nurse’s betrayal of Juliet and her “Romeo is a dishclout to [Paris]” line, she never offers a good explanation as to why she thinks Romeo isn’t good enough for Juliet, and that she could do better. By contrast, she praises Paris and tells Juliet no less than three times in that same speech that he is better than Romeo.

It’s particularly noteworthy since in the Act 2, Scene 4 scene when they meet, it’s clear that the Nurse likes Romeo. She laughs at and appreciates his roasting Mercutio (“Marry, well said!”). Despite the fact that he is clearly friends with Mercutio et al. who mock her shamelessly, she is unfailingly polite (“Pray you, sir, a word”) and nice, as if she considers him different from the rest. Her warning to him not to toy with Juliet’s feelings is clearly a pre-made speech she would have given anyway. She feels comfortable enough to go on her ramblings—even telling him about Paris and how Juliet hates him and how she ~mysteriously blanches when she tells her Paris is better! So what’s with the sudden Team Paris stuff?

Well, I have my theories, and they may even shed some light not only as to the purpose of this little speech, but what it reveals about the Nurse’s character and her role, ultimately, as Juliet’s foil, in similar ways Mercutio acts as Romeo’s. So let’s speculate.

Theory 1: The Nurse Thinks Romeo Is Too Callow/Immature

While the Nurse clearly doesn’t hold the mockery of hi Romeo’s wily friends against him, she still caught Romeo in his male camaraderie and may have concluded that Romeo, while better than those “scurvy knaves,” is still a callow youth, wet behind the ears. That would explain the use of “simple” (meaning dumb) instead of just “wrong.” She is shocked that he was capable of killing Tybalt (although to her view she would have assumed it had been in cold blood). She isn’t all surprised to see him weeping disconsolately on the floor of the Friar’s cell (although that is because Juliet is doing the exact same thing, and she says so). She also—tellingly—tells him to stand up and “be a man,” so she obviously has bought into the cultural notion of masculinity that does not allow the free expression of excessive emotion from men. Paris is much more self-possessed and composed, even while he’s mourning Juliet, and older besides; that may be enough to prefer him for Juliet, especially if the Nurse thinks a mature man can help Juliet adjust through the trials of marriage and motherhood better.

Against this, however, is the Nurse’s description of Romeo as a dishclout (dishrag) to Paris’ “eagle.” If Romeo’s supposed immaturity was her main objection to him, then she would have said a baby eagle or some equivalent animal or object associated with youth—small, weak, and mewling. Also, Juliet may be smart, but she is still 13. The Nurse no doubt lowkey sees her as still a little girl herself, one she personally raised, so thinking Romeo is too immature for her makes little sense. They both behave in similar ways. Romeo also consistently reads older by at least 3-4 years and his behavior in his play does not mark him as any less mature than his friends or Tybalt—or, frankly, most of the adults in this play.

Theory 2: The Nurse Prefers Paris Because He Is of a Higher Social Rank/Wealthier Than Romeo

Paris is kinsman to the Prince, and Romeo is the heir of Montague; it’s a no-brainer which one has the higher rank. Paris also reads as an older man, though he too dies with the rest of the youths of the play (there is some ambiguity definitely re: his age). The Nurse seems to have some materialistic leanings, as when she rather gleefully tells Romeo at the Capulet ball: “I tell you, he that can lay a hold of her / Shall have the chinks” and social climbing tendencies as when she gives herself airs in front of Mercutio et al. and tells Peter to hand over her fan. She makes only a token resistance to Romeo’s coin offer and accepts it immediately at his mild insistence. There are definite classist vibes in her “Romeo’s a dishclout compared to [Paris]” line. A rag is a low, plain/ugly, used, faded, common item; an eagle is a noble animal that soars the skies. It may emphasize the Nurse’s belief that Romeo is dime-a-dozen in terms of youths go, and that Paris is “rare.”

Against this, however, is the fact that the Nurse doesn’t bring up materialistic or mercenary considerations in her marry-Paris speech even though it would have been apropos. Also, the social difference between Romeo and Paris is probably not even significant; Romeo was able to be friends with Mercutio, also PE’s kinsman, with no trouble, after all. Romeo is the heir of Montague, a family of the same social class with Juliet’s; while the family’s fortunes would not drastically improve, there would be no social shame in a match, and in fact the Friar counts on it in his plans. Paris would be a much nicer match, of course, but not one to overthrow all consideration of Juliet’s feelings. If the Nurse did have class considerations, they must have been unconscious ones. This is an English play, after all, by an English writer writing a lower class character; class is never far behind.

Theory 3: The Nurse Thinks Paris Is Hotter Than Romeo (and Hotter=Better)

The first half at least is definitely canon. The Nurse consistently raises up the question of Romeo’s hotness vis-à-vis Paris. On one side, Paris is consistently her favorite, the one that “excels” Romeo, the one she has stated more than once that she prefers. “An eagle” doesn’t have “so fair an eye” as Paris, and Romeo’s the “dishclout.” Paris is the flower of Verona, Paris is a man of wax, etc. The very first thing she says after telling Juliet that she thinks it’s best to marry Paris is that he is a “lovely gentleman” (although that could also easily refer to his personality).

On the other hand, the Nurse explicitly says that Romeo’s face “be better than any man’s.” (Even better than Paris’? ~Surely not). It is the Nurse, not Juliet, who lewdly blazons Romeo’s body parts; Juliet, even at her most horny in “Gallop apace,” never talks about Romeo in this way. It’s as if the Nurse views the Romeo-Juliet-Paris drama as a YA novel and she is the fangirl resolutely on #TeamParis, writing steadily long meta rants on Tumblr about how Paris is the sophisticated/more mature/nicer option and Romeo is the mediocre/basic/nice guy—all the while writing R/J fanfic because hey, Romeo is super hot too.

Considering the Nurse’s obsession with these men’s looks and physical beauty, she would prefer the one who is most handsome for Juliet or who she thinks is the most handsome. How she eventually did settle firmly on the Team Paris camp is uncertain, since a furious Juliet rages on how she hypocritically trashed Romeo even when she had “praised him with above compare / So many thousand times?” Juliet may have been exaggerating the number in her hurt and betrayal, but we literally do see the Nurse liking Romeo physically—explicitly so in ways she doesn’t do with Paris—and personally. Perhaps her likening Romeo to a dishclout compared to Paris was an exaggerated, blunt way to persuade Juliet to drop him. Conversely, she could have just been humoring Juliet when she praised Romeo “with above compare,” just as she might have been hastily placating Juliet when, in her marry-Paris speech, she says, “O he [Paris] is a lovely gentleman!”

In any case, the Nurse’s valuing physical beauty shows her shallowness, which is part-and-parcel to her role as Juliet’s foil. Notice how Juliet doesn’t go into detail as to Romeo’s appearance and neither does Romeo for Juliet. This is partially logistical, as Shakespeare, being trained for the theater, learned to avoid specifying character appearance. But the absence also indicates that R&J’s love are not based on trivial details such as hair or eye color, much less body type. They obviously find each other physically attractive, but it’s more what they mean to each other. The Nurse doesn’t understand that, and Juliet’s irritation and impatience when she goes on a tangent on Romeo’s excelling leg: “But all of this I have known before.” Yes, my Romeo is hot and the sky is blue, can we move on?

Which Theory?

Barring more information from the text, I feel Theory 3 is the most supported and the most likely, although 1 and 2 have their strong points. A little bit of all three wouldn’t be out of the question. The main problem is that the Nurse doesn’t bring up potential valid objections, like Romeo’s killing Tybalt (!!), which Presgurvic’s RetJ did, only the logistical difficulty of Romeo being in Mantua and Juliet in Verona “and [her] no use of him” in the sense that Juliet can’t enjoy Romeo sexually. The emotional callousness the Nurse displays here is part-and-parcel with the Capulets’ overall emotional callousness and shallowness, especially towards Tybalt’s death (see Capulet’s “Well, we are all born to die”—compare that to Romeo’s genuinely regretful, “Forgive me, cousin” speech to Tybalt’s tomb).

In that sense the Nurse’s emotional shallowness is obviously meant to contrast with Juliet’s love and commitment to Romeo and even her lewd praise of him contrast with Juliet’s rapturous praise.

In sum: While the Nurse is much more supportive of R&J than the Friar, she prefers Paris and not only doesn’t hesitate to tell Juliet of it, it also informs her advising Juliet to marry Paris. This creates a bit of a mystery since she never goes into any explanation as to why she prefers Paris or even why Romeo would make a poor choice. Most likely she is just playing YA love triangle games and going back and forth as to which one is hotter/which one Juliet should date (the verdict? Team Paris).

(P.S. Another, slightly nerdy addition—on the Nurse’s “He is not the flower of courtesy, but I’ll warrant him as a gentle as a lamb.” Gentle in Shakespeare is almost always used in the sense of being well-regarded, honorable, virtuous, or simply having the qualities of a gentleman. The Nurse’s use of it to mean “soft or sweet” is the first time I’ve seen Shakespeare employ the word in the modern sense. To make absolutely sure, I checked David and Ben Crystal’s Shakespeare’s Words: A Glossary and Language Companion, and sure enough there was no definition close to “soft/kind/sweet” under the gentle entries (noun, verb, adjective). It could be that this was a small oversight and the dictionary has been updated since then, but the entries looked comprehensive enough. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time Shakespeare employed a word in what we would recognize as its modern sense. (Any Shakespearean nut remembers any other time Shakespeare uses gentle in the modern sense? Hit me up if you find anything.)

Anyway, my personal headcanon is that the modern sense of the word could have been extant, if not widely used, a sort of slang that a lower-class character like the Nurse, when she is not putting on airs, would employ. If so, perhaps Shakespeare could have intended a small malapropism (the Nurse commits many of them) his mainstream audience would find amusing. Because of course, if Romeo were gentle, lamblike or not, then he would de facto be courteous—a key part of gentility is courtesy! So it would seem, to Elizabethan audiences, that the Nurse, in employing some peasant slang, accidentally employs a ridiculous contradiction. Cue laughter—oh that Nurse!

As for “gentle as a lamb”…Romeo is indeed lovely and sweet to Juliet and even his Mercutio roasts are more fond than cutting, but while he is patient and considerate with the Nurse—he insists on giving her some coin for her trouble—he reads mostly bemused by her. Not so much “gentle” in the modern sense of the word. But the Nurse herself is not very observant nor very emotionally perceptive, so it lends a little more credence to Theory 1 in that she thinks of Romeo as just a kid, nothing more.)