#those r the focus of the post i wont tag the others

[saym0-0]

UGH constantly thinking abt spine and rabbit being siblings,,, hc the walter wifi works kinda like text or voice channels on discord where theres different bots with access to different channels or smth and theres one only those two can access and rabbit named it 'TWINZ TELEPATHY KEEPZ OUT X' i dont know why but its just canon 2 me. i cant help it

[at1nys-blog]

Hi, I don’t know how to properly make one so if it looks chaotic just know I don’t have any clue how to make this properly. Let just start then.

How to requests posts:

You can: request as an anon

But: leave an rappresentative emoji/letter/phrase/whatever

Why: so I know if you already requested, in that case it will pushed unless no one new requested something.

You can: ask me to write a fem/male!reader

If: you don’t I’ll automatically make gn!reader

You can: give reader a specific nationality/job.

You can: request a SMAU

But: you HAVE to give me more details, which can be discussed on private if you want

Or: you can trust me and leave it to me

But: in this case it might take me longer than usual.

In this case: at least tell me how you want things to develop; any plot twists involved I WONT ACCEPT A SMAU REQUEST FROM ANONS SINCE I WILL TAG PEOPLE

Please: say if you want a male!reader because my SMAU are always a fem!reader, is easier for me like that

You can: request a Character x Character

Might add more

Things I won’t write:

Romantic xreader insert for minors celebrities. As for now just Xikers. Just give me a name to use

Anything with cheating involved.

Anything with pregnancy.

No smut. Might change but as for now I won’t. I have nightmares since the last time I tried

ANYTHING THAT ROMANTACISES MAFIA RELATIONSHIP. This is very important pls take it in consideration.

ANYTHING FOR YUK1O OKUMURA AND T3TTA KISAKI. Another important rule to follow. I don’t like the guys I won’t write for them no matter what. Of course they’ll be mentioned, I just don’t want the focus to be on them.

I will not write kdrama ff. Both reader insert or Character x Charaxter

Might add more

I will not make a gn!reader SMAU AND THIS IS JUST BECAUSE IM NOT VERY COMFY WITHOUT A SPECIFIC GENDER FOR THOSE TYPE OF FANFICTION I’m pretty sure you can find blogs that does that, sorry if I’m not that type of blogs 😞

What might be taken down:

Why: they might not tell me anything. But try your luck I guess

Requests with celebrities or fandoms I don’t know

Why: I don’t have enough knowledge about them

Requests for latest MCU tv shows

Why: I didn’t like them, I don’t know what happened

Requests for fandoms I don’t follow anymore. Ex: Harry Potter; Doctor Who

Why: I might not have any ideas for those unless you have one

Attack on titans. I liked the first couple of seasons but then it got meh for me

Might add more

Things I will write:

Angst

Friends-2-lovers

Enemies-2-lovers my favorite

Strangers-2-lovers

And so on

Suggestive is a green light so ask if you want

Single parent!Au

Fantasy!Au and more

Smau

Fake texts

Headcanons

Might add more

For who I write:

But 1st, a couple of important things:

I might need to age up some underaged characters depending on the request

Is going to be divided in 5: List #1 is about my top favorite show/anime/manga/celebrities not counting One Piece and the MCU tv shows are about fandoms that I think no one writes for/writes less for THIS IS A FIXED LIST WILL MAYBE CHANGE SLIGHTLY IN THE FUTURE BUT ONLY IF I FIND SOMETHING THAT I LIKE AS THOSE FANDOMS AS WELL; List #2 is about fandoms I write for rarely because I am always for a loss of ideas; List #3 fandoms I haven’t wrote for yet; List #4 list of fandoms I never thought to write for but I won’t mind writing if someone asked.

MAINLY DOES NOT MEAN I WILL NOT WRITE FOR OTHER CHARACTERS. IT JUST MEANS THEY KINDA HAVE PRIORITY

List #1:

BLUE EXORCIST

Mainly: Bon, Renzo and Rin

One piece

Mainly: Zoro, Eustass Kid, ShanksxBuggy

Tokyo Revengers

Mainly: Mitsuya, Haitani brothers and Hanma

MCU LOKI HAWKEYE AND MOON KNIGHT

HVITSERK/MARCO ILSØ

MAMAMOO

DREAMCATCHER

Block B

Mainly: P.O.

Six of crows

List #2:

Actors in general will take longer if I don’t know the one you requested

Ateez

Stray kids

Grey’s anatomy

MCU

Criminal Minds

My hero academia

Alice in Borderland

Mainly: Chishiya and Kuina

List #3

Other Marvel movies/tv shows

Vikings

Mainly: Floki (non romantic), Ubbe, Hvitserk and Ivar

The last kingdom

Supernatural

Mainly: Dean Winchester

Jujutsu Kaisen

Chainsaw man

Fullmetal Alchemist: brotherhood

Noragami

List #4

IF YOU SEE A FANDOM YOU WOULD LIKE TO REQUESTS IN THIS SECTION IT DOES NOT MEAN I AM NOT GOING TO WRITE FOR IT IS JUST I NEVER WROTE AND I WONT WRITE UNLESS PEOPLE ASK FOR IT SO ASK ANYWAY

Avatar the last Airbender

Trigun Stampede (2023)

Fire Force (anime ver.)

The legend of Korra

Aespa

Itzy

Seventeen

Twice

(western) singers

2 Broke Girls

One Chicago

Stranger Things

Sweet Home

The Last of Us (tv show ver.)

The umbrella academy (might take a while I have to rewatch it)

Game of Thrones

Doctor who

Percy Jackson

Merlin

Harry Potter

[its-afucking-mess]

A little guide on ao3 (by an ao3 user and writer)

Friendly reminder for mobile users! Ao3 is a website. It doesn't have (as far as im concerned) an official app for mobile, so better get comfy with using crome on your phone.

Some video links ill leave for people who prefer video and audio:

- navigating the fanfiction sites

- popular fandom terminology part 1 and part 2

- shipping etiquette

i really reccomend coley's videos if you want to get to know more fandoms, or get an inside look to how some stuff works. There also might be more vids about fandom's and fan works, so don't hesitate to look through some of her stuff!

the explaining under the 'read more' ao mutuals wont kill me :)

(also tagging @ethanesimp since they asked for this advice )

So, what is Ao3 really?

Ao3 is a website made by fans for fans. There are no ads, and all content is free on Ao3. Anyone can post (with some age restrictions) and they can post anything.

How can I browse Ao3?

Ao3 does not require an account to view stories. You can easily browse as an anonymous user. You just are not able to view certain works, as creators have the ability to show their works to registered users only. Some cases, commenting is possible while anonymous, but again, it's up to the creator of the work.

If you want to be a creator and share works, you need an account.

An account also gives you the ability to bookmark works, so you can re-visit them, mark works for later, keeps a history of the works you've visited and allows you to favourite tags.

How do I get an Ao3 account?

When you first open the site, it gives you the option to "Get Invited". An invitation will be sent to your email anywhere from 24hrs later to a week later, depending on the amount of people in the automated queue.

After the invitation, you are able to set up your account like any other social media account. Pick a username, pseuds (name), description and bio. You can have a profile picture as well.

How do I navigate the site?

There are few ways to do so efficiently, but there's countless of ways you can experiment with to find which is more comfortable.

1st option: As the website loads, you can go to the 'Fandoms' tag.

Then, after clicking on it, this column appears. Through there, you can pick which media your fandom is from and from there, browse the huge list of different fandoms until you spot your own.

The list is in alphabetical order, so if your fandom begins with an "C", it shouldn't be too far down.

2nd option: At the top right, under your profile, and the options 'Post' and 'Log Out' should be a white oval search bar.

(im using my own account for demonstration)

When searching, there are many ways to work around it.

Personally, I press search as it is. It will lead you to a page where all the fanworks of the site are listed. (i believe its easiest, but always feel free to experiment)

From there, you press the 'Edit Your Search' button, located near the top right.

It will then lead you to a page with multiple fields.

Don't panic when you see all the fields. Only half those are of interest when you want to browse works for a fandom.

The most important ones are those under the Field name 'Work Tags'

Whatever you select under this field will be included in the works the site presents you with.

What are the work tags? What do they do?

Lets go through the options.

Fandom(s): when typing on this option, multiple fandom names will autofill in a list under the white space. If your fandom shows up, you can just click on it.

example:

From there, you can select the fandom you want to see works from. If your fandom doesn't show up, it can mean one of two things:

-there are no works for it

-it isn't popular enough to be picked up by the algorithm

After selecting one fandom, you can select another fandom, or more, to see works that are crossovers over universes.

Ratings: Ratings are selected by author. It defines the level of maturity it has in the work

- General audiences is the tag you want to use when nothing bad happens in the work. No swearing, no sexual activities, no violence or gore. It wont contain scenes that minors are not allowed to see.

- Teen and up audiences is the tag used for most works on the site. It is what would be used when you have mentions of/vague sexual content or violence. Normally, the most extreme stuff on there is excessive swearing, heavy angst and hurt/comfort with no excessive details

- Mature is the tag that is for 18+. It is mostly filled with one of following : Violence, Sexual Content, Ab*se, R@pe, Death and SH.

Reader descretion is advised by looking at the additional tags the author has provided, especially for those with triggers.

- Explicit is like Mature, but contains more graphic content. Works rated explicit mostly fall under the 'Graphic depictions of sexual content', 'Graphic depictions of Violence and Gore' or 'Graphic depictions of Ab*se, R@pe, or Self H*rm

Reader descretion is advised, stronger than mature, since it can be much more triggering. The works are scarily detailed sometimes.

- Not rated: the author has not given this work a rating because none of the other ratings fit the work. Pay special attention to the tags.

Warnings: Also known as Archive warnings by older users. The trigger warnings of Ao3. There are 6 archive warnings:

-Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings: The author didn't use the warnings, either because none of them fit the work's theme and warnings, or to avoid spoiling the story. Pay attention to the tags for any warnings.

-Graphic Depictions Of Violence: It is pretty self explanatory. Can contain any sort of violence, from wars, to simple fights, to ab*se of any kind. Can and often contain death. The type of violence is in the tags.

-Major Character Death: A main character in the story will die in this work. Pay attention to the tags always. The name of the character will be mentioned, as well as the way they die.

-No Archive Warnings Apply: None of the warnings apply. It is most times a perfectly safe work. Check the tags to make sure though!

-R@pe/Non-Con: The work contains non-consensual activities. Ranges from non-consensua sex to non-consensual use and ab*se of substances. Very close attention to the tags!

-Underage: The main character(s) in this work are underage/minors. This is normally tagged along sexual content so be aware and pay close attention to the tags!

Categories: This regards the relationships in the work:

- M/M, or better known as mlm or a relationship between two non-woment (men mostly, can include characters under the non-binary umbrella)

- M/F, a heterosexual relationship (is inclusive of trans characters too!)

- F/F, or wlw, or a relationship between two non-men (women mostly, can include characters under the non-binary umbrella)

- Gen, no sexual or romantic relationships are in this work, or if there are any, they arent of main focus.

- Multi: Polyamorous relationships, or multiple relationships are included in this work (this is also where threesomes+ are tagged in sometimes)

- Other relationships: One of the two people in the relationship is non-human (mostly), or the relationships are platonic/family.

Characters: The characters you want to be included in the story. This works just like the 'Fandom' filter, so the same things apply. You can tag as many characters as desirable.

Relationships: The relationships that you want present in the work. This includes both major and minor relationships. It can also include ended relationships (tagged Past x/y) and implied/referenced relationships. This works just like the Characters and Fandom filter.

Additional Tags: These are things the author has included to give potential readers an insight to the story. 'Angst', 'Fluff' and 'Smut' are additional tags. Works like the Relationships filter, so all same applies.

Is there anything I have to avoid/ I should avoid?

There is this very infamous tag, 'Dead Dove: Do not eat.' This tag is a warining to readers that the things in the work are really messed up, and can include anything illegal in it. PAY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE REST OF THE TAGS IF YOU STILL ARE INTERESTED.

How else can I filter works?

You can choose how they are:

sorted (Titles, Authors, Hits, Kudos, Comments, Bookmarks, and Best Match)

the word count (from 1 word to millions)

the language (most are on there)

the amount of chapters

if the work is complete of not

when it last updated/when was posted

and if there are crossovers.

These are all options that author has to include, and therefore you can sort freely. Most are bulletin options you can click on.

What if I want to find a specific work?

If you happen to know one of these: Author, Title, Fandom or Rating, you will find it. If you were reccomended one, it's better to ask for the author or the title, to make looking for it easier.

Can I find a specific author/ user?

People search is for finding users on the site

Bookmark search helps you look through other people's public bookmarks. Not really used.

Tag search finds works that include this specific tag you searched. Also not used a lot.

People can see my bookmarks?

When bookmarking a work, you are able to do a lot.

if you do not want your bookmarks to be visible to the public, make sure to check off the Private bookmark box at the bottom left.

Common terms thrown around by Ao3 users:

-tags: the additional tags of the work

-kudos: liking a story

-bookmarks: saving/saved stories. makes it easy to revist. you can see your bookmarks from your profile

-hits: the amount of people that have clicked on a story. Isn't necessary they liked it, but they did click on it.

And those are the basics! If you had to take one thing only, its ALWAYS READ TAGS

I hope this helped the clueless souls even a bit :)

Im open to reply to any other questions, and you can send me them in my asks, messages or comments of this post

[inosukeslefttoe]

so,,, yesterday i read this manhwa called “the horizon” (i forget the author but ill put them in the tags) and good god... it was so heartbreakingly beautiful and im gonna make a few posts about it B) ((i say a few bc theres a few things i wanna talk about but i dont wanna make it all unorganized ?? if that makes sense))

first theres just the amazing artwork done in this piece... the range is just fucking incredible and every single panel had so much work and heart put into it and i had to sit there just to really admire the art of each page for a long time (usually im an impatient little bitch and skim artwork in manga/manhwa but damn this one was something else). but like !! look at how many different styles and shit the artist did depending on the circumstances !! 

oh if i didnt mention,, this manhwa is like an apocalyptic world where this little boy meets a little girl and they just sort of roam the world together right... but they come across so many terrible things and theres this back and forth between hope and despair and everytime you start to be like “hey maybe things will be good for them, or at least as good as they can be” the tiniest thing happens that just shatters all that hope to the ground and suddenly everything is lost again. it really reminds me of this book i read for english called the road by uh.. something mccarthy i think... and it was about a boy and his dad trying to survive and walk down a road together in a post apocalyptic world and it was also sad as shit. BUT IM GETTING OFF TOPIC. BACK TO THE ARTWORK.

so thE RANGE OF STYLES YES THATS WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. as i already said, its just this whole rollercoaster of emotions but it really forces you to sit there and fucking f e e l your emotions yknow? it makes it impossible to just sit there and be like “lol damn thats sad” ,, the art and the layout are so shocking and stunning that you h a v e to sit there and admire them and think about the events and really just feel every ounce of emotion and loss that the characters are going through and that the artist put into this piece. it did this thing where it would sometimes stretch on for a few pages of just the same frame with tiny differences just taking up the whole page without any words/little words to let the magnitude of the situation sink in and envelope you. its so powerful with its message especially with the themes of hope and loss and it just... usually i keep pop culture/anime/manhwa feels separate from my irl feels but... dude this one was so fuckin amazing that i genuinely had to take a break a few times bc the feels were getting all mixed up and i genuinely felt that sorrow that the characters were feeling. i seriously wanna read this again actually so i focus more on the amazing art since i know the story already.

i just love how much it switches up from all the different looks too. sometimes it would have that classic anime/manhwa feel to it especially when there were lots of characters (i didnt include a sc for that oops) but a lot of the time it would focus on the beauty/emptiness of the landscape around the characters since there wasnt really much left in the world. there were a lot of gruesome scenes drawn in that sort of chalky/charcoaly look that involved death and i am just obsessed with how they made it look so organic and like it was actually, yknow decomposing. they also used a really messy scribbly style when super chaotically terrible things where happening, both externally and internally which was such a perfect reflection of those bundled up negative and hopeless emotions that were present throughout the story. it sort of made it seem like those things were simply too horrible to be drawn fully and even the artist couldnt subject the reader to such a terrible sight. also ... the use of color... usually they would use color to represent the presence of hope and damn dude it really worked... especially after seeing some of these same images consecutively and that dramatic change really makes the reader feel so much brighter and happier when hope is back in the story !! although that one other colored scene... where the boy is in the ocean... god that hurts my heart so badly... i think the color was used in that case to show the reality of his situation and that it was really r e a l yknow ??? it wasnt just a comic written to make ppl sad and thinking about death,, this is that kids whole LIFE and he had to accept the (bad thing that happened but im not gonna write it bc i dont wanna spoil) was something that happened and now he really had no reason to keep on living... and all these feelings are so wonderfully portrayed and definitely did a very good job of making me, the reader, Very Sad. 

HAHA I DIDNT WANT THIS TO BE TOO LONG BUT I RAMBLED LMAO... ill prolly make one or two more posts about this but they wont nearly be as long dont worry

1-6-21

[11thstreetgirl]

NSFW Alphabet (Sami Yaffa)

Warning: adult content 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Cuddly. It would be ideal if the two of you could just lay in bed for hours. He likes it when you lie on top of him or vice versa, as long as you're as close to him as possible (one time he even fell asleep still being inside you). He doesn’t talk much but mindlessly caresses your skin wherever he can reach. If the sex was exceptionally hard he'll light up a cigarette as soon as he can move. He can be lightheaded for quite a while after.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He's a musician so hands of course! He likes his strong long fingers and the things they can do to you. He's pretty much a booty guy, so he adores your ass. That's where you usually find his hands, he loves to stick his hands into the back pockets of your jeans.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

Sami likes the way it looks on you, especially dripping out of you after he came inside of you. He could watch it every time in his post-orgasmic haze. It can get a bit messy sometimes. He likes the way it kinda marks you as something of his. He also loves when you swallow after a blowjob. In a weird way he also likes it when he can taste his own cum when you kiss.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wouldn’t mind sharing you, or at least in his head the thought turns him on. Reality could be a lot different. Just the image of you completely satisfied and utterly exhausted from him and another guy or girl does wicked things to him. It would all need to come down to you being satisfied, that’s what does the trick.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Sami’s had quite a lot of sex, but nothing too meaningful, so you’re learning the more intimate part of it together. It still sometimes amazes him how much more intense it can be with someone who he has genuine feelings for. He’s pretty talkative and always makes sure he’s doing it the way you like.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying)

He loves it when you ride him. He prefers to see your face, especially when you cum, but occasionally he wants to do it in reverse cowgirl just so he can see your ass too. He sometimes jokes about getting the Kama Sutra and trying every position in it. Sometimes it gets a little wild and you end up in the weirdest positions. And if no one’s around, he’ll bend you over any surface available.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Depends on the situation. Sometimes goofing around leads to sex and sex to goofing around. In the heat of the moment he’s usually more serious but not too serious. Sex needs to be fun!

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He shaves every now and then, but isn’t too serious about keeping it neat. It’s the same color as his natural hair – dark brown

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's a total sucker for romance but would never say it out loud, not that it’s too hard to notice. He showers you with kisses and it wont go unnoticed how much he adores you. Especially right before he cums there’s usually small I love you’s and compliments. He’s brain doesn’t work too well when he’s super horny so he sometimes gets a little clumsy with showing his affection in the moment, but you can see it clearly. And when you show the same amount of love for him he basically starts to purr.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Sami does it every now and then, usually when he’s away from you, but to be honest he thinks it’s gotten a bit boring since he has you to help. Sometimes when he’s on tour you have phone sex after the shows because he’s always horny after a gig. Watching you masturbate is the biggest turn on for him.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He's down to try almost everything once. He's adventurous and curious in bed (and, ehm, everywhere else you might do it, meaning nearly every place possible) and sometimes you purposely look for new things to try. His favourite ones have something to do with being tied down; doesn’t matter if its you in the handcuffs or him giving you free rein. Include blindfolds and he’s putty in your hands in no time. You two are no strangers to the rougher things either, but it takes more planning. There’s a few items, like a flogger, at hand.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Just about anywhere! Bedroom is of course the ideal because there everything you might need is in an arm’s reach, but he’d get bored if it was just the bedroom. So all the places with a little privacy work! One of his favourites is taking you in the tour bus after the show when all the other guys are still backstage – the fear of getting caught adds a nice spice

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

The sheer pleasure that comes from sex is a huge motivation! Just being able to have fun with you and to satisfy you is what gets him going – among other things. Like the simple fact that you exist and he knows he basically owns your ass. That’s all it takes.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Public humiliating, daddy kink and age play are a no go. He wouldn’t do anything that makes you even a little uncomfortable, and not being able to communicate/ have agreed on the limits beforehand is a turn off – he can’t focus on the pleasure if he’s not sure.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He loves a good blowjob just as much as the next guy! He loves the way your lips curl around him and how he can gently guide your movements by your hair. His knees usually get totally weak after a good blowjob. He likes giving you oral almost as much – watching your face twist as you become undone under him (or over, on the occasions he pulls you to sit on his face) and he loves your taste in his mouth. He definitely knows what he’s doing and has quickly learned just the tricks to drive you mad!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He’s usually slow and sensual at first, savoring the moment and the way you look, but as soon as you start to lose it he’s gone and pounding into you like there’s no tomorrow. He always tries to take it slow all the way until the end but rarely succeeds – but when he does, oh man...

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Sometimes the pressure just gets too much and you two just need to release it as fast as possible. It’s not ideal but he definitely has nothing against quickies. The absolute best thing he knows is a quick fuck right after he comes off stage before the afterparty starts – that’s also when he’s probably the horniest.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He doesn’t mind the risk of being caught! Especially his bandmates know that it’s not a good idea to come looking for him before or after a show; you two might be going at it in the weirdest places. As long as you’re comfortable there’s no stopping him!

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

When he’s super horny he can get a little carried away and finish quite fast, but he makes sure to repay you the next morning. Otherwise he can go on for quite some time and after a little rest he’s always up for another round – if you have time to just lie around he won’t let you leave the bed.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He’s curious about everything so he sometimes surprises you by getting you two a new toy that you can fool around with it. The best ones make regular cameos in your sex. He also loves to watch you pleasure yourself with one.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He knows how much seeing him play his bass turns you on so that’s how he usually teases you. He loves the feeling of knowing you want him badly and could tease you for hours – if it wasn’t for the fact that it gets him so horny he just can’t stand it. During the actual sex he sometimes likes to hold back and make you beg for it. If he’s the one being teased he’ll get impatient and basically become a writhing brat.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

At first he’s pretty quiet, just whispering sweet nothings to you or how good he feels, but the closer he gets the more he forgets to keep quiet, then it’s heavy breathing and moaning. He also loves to make you make some noise; he wants everyone to hear how good he makes you feel.

W = Wild Card

He doesn't get jealous and riled up often but when he does, it doesn't matter who you're with, he'll come up behind you and pull you into a deep kiss.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He's pretty average but in his case it’s definitely not about the size! He also has probably the most beautiful cock ever...

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Simple question, simple answer: high. It doesn’t take much to get him going and he’ll surely let you know when he’s in the mood, which is pretty much all the time

Z = ZZZ… (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He dozes off for a moment right after but usually drags himself into the shower after resting for a while. If it was rougher than usually, after making sure you're all good, he's out like a light. You find it so cute and you always tease him about it in the morning.

// taglist: just my loyal @thespacecowboyyy for now! (if someone else wants to be tagged please do tell!!)

[manchurian-barnes]

The Soldier - Part Four

A/N - Im going to be taking a break from this series, mainly because i want to write the full thing before posting more parts of it, so it doesn’t feel rushed and I get he chance to fully explain upcoming plot points. OTHER FAN-FICTION WILL CONTINUE

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

It was mid-November the next time I encountered the new and improved Steve Rogers again. Since everything that had happened in Erskine's lab him and I had kept a line of communication open, letters being sent back and fourth. My work with Howard found us going between home and the war zones, creating weaponry and trying to play a role in victory against the Nazi's. Today that work had brought me to Italy, 5 miles back from the front line.

I watched from the back of all the beat up soldiers, arms crossed over myself. The rain hitting lightly onto my coat which I kept tightening around myself. Music started and dancers moved out onto a makeshift stage, before long 'Captain America' walked out. I forced a smile onto my features despite the dreary conditions. Once Steve began to speak to the men it wasn’t long before they started to heckle him for all the laughter he was worth.

"How many of you are ready to help me sock old Adolf in the jaw?" Steve spoke, cheerfully as he could brandishing he shield in front of himself, he looked to me and then over the men who stayed silent. Eerily silent. Steve then shifted on his feet, "okay, uh…I need a volunteer?"

The men started to groan and one waved his hand "I already volunteered, how to ya' think I got here!", as all the men began to laugh harder at Steve I tightened my grip around my coat, and began to move towards the back of the stage. "Bring back the girls!" they men yelled as I walked, spying Peggy out the side of my eye. "I think they only know the one song…but…I'll see what I can do?" He began to back off the stage. I pulled my eyes away as one soldier began to moon Steve, vulgar.

"I hate seeing him like this-" I spoke softly to Peggy as we looked for Steve, "as do I, but we are hardly in a position to do very much about it I'm afraid." he rest her hand on my shoulder. She walked just ahead of me before we saw him, slumped over and drawing into a sketchpad letting the rain drown him.

"Hello Steve." Peggy said warmly, he looked between us, "hi…" He said slowly. Giving a helpless smile. "what are you two doin' here?" He moved to allow Peggy to sit beside him. "Officially? Neither of us are here at all." Peggy grinned slightly. I kept nodding, "I decided I wanted to catch up with you Rogers." I spoke gently and then moved to be on the other side of him.

"I understand you’re "America’s New Hope"?" Peggy kept speaking as my eyeline trailed off into the crowd of soldiers. I wondered if Bucky was somewhere like this. I just wish I knew something. Something more than nothing at all.

"You know for the longest time I dreamed about coming overseas and being on the front lines. Serving my country. I finally get everything I wanted, and I’m wearing tights." Steve spoke as an ambulance went by carrying wounded men, "They look like they’ve been through hell.".

"These men more than most. Schmidt sent out a force to Azzano. Two hundred men went up against him and less than fifty returned. Your audience contained what was left of the one-oh-seventh. The rest were killed or captured." Peggy nodded and I saw Steve's demeanor shift completely. "One-oh-seven?" he said, voice breaking. "yes-" she nodded before I felt my blood run a little colder, "That was Bucky's-" I whispered looking down. Steve grabbed my arm and pulled me across the camp with Peggy running closely behind us.

We burst into Colonel Phillips tent, he grimaced as he saw the three of us. Especially lingering that gaze onto Steve. I ducked my head down as he let out a chuckle. "well if it isn't the star spangled man with a plan, what is your plan today?" he said coolly. Steve just ignored this, he kept his head straight I could tell he as holding back a lot of pain. "I need the casualty list from Azzano." he spoke surely, like he was in charge, by the look on Phillips face and by the way his jaw constricted I could see he didn’t care for that tone of voice. "You don't get to give me orders, son." he pointed at Steve. Steve shook his head and continued "I just need one name. Sargent-", "James Barnes, from the hundred and seventh." I finished for him. The colonel pointed to Peggy and I, "You two and I are going to have a conversation later that you wont enjoy.".

I clenched my jaw and looked at Peggy, she slung an arm around me. Silent reassurance. "please-" I whispered to the man, "Please tell me if he's alive, sir. B-A-R…" Steve started, I felt his hand on my shoulder as well. Again, the older man began to grit his teeth, "I can spell.". He began to shift thought all the letters he'd written. I felt sick. All those poor men, their families left behind. I just prayed silently, 'not James…not my James…' I kept repeating the mantra until my thoughts were cut by a knife. "I've signed more of these letters than I would care to count, but the name does sound familiar. I'm sorry." Phillips looked between us, and for a moment there was a hint of a softness within his eyes. I couldn’t help the whimper that escaped from my mouth, before I could cover it. I suddenly understood more about war than I had ever cared to, because war wouldn’t discriminate based on my hopes. It took, and it took. I stumbled backwards as Steve began to argue about how best to save the captured men, walking out into the rain. letting it hit me, trying to numb myself. I shut my eyes and suppressed how much I desperately wanted to scream. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and turned to see Peggy “Come on, we are going to follow our captain and save those men.”.

I called for Howard whom at the sound of my broken down voice jumped at his chance to come and help us all. We were in the back of one of his finest planes. Quickly approaching enemy lines. Even when I tried to focus I couldn’t. The plane rocking from a shot below shook me out of my grief stricken haze, looking at Steve. “You’re sure you want to do this?” I asked him, he nodded “If nobody else will...I have to save those men.”.

“This is your transponder. Activate it when you’re ready and the signal will lead us straight to you.” Peggy explained holding one of Stark and I’s inventions forwards. Steve tucked it into his jacket, looking between us. “Are you sure this thing works?” He asked me, with a slight chuckle referring to the night I’d met him, “It’s been tested more than you, pal.” Howard called with a laugh.

The plan started to shake more violently, causing me to stand and look out the window, we were almost there. I looked over my shoulder to see Steve opening the plane door, giving him a face i’d imagined he’s received many times from... “Get back here! We’re taking you all the way in.” Peggy yelled before being cut off. Steve yelling back, “As soon as I’m free, you turn this thing around and get the hell outta here!”

“You can’t give me orders!” 

“The hell I can’t! I’m a Captain!” He then jumped. Howard sharply turned the plane despite himself, and despite Peggy yells to turn back.

Peggy and I were stood side by side back at the camp. being reprimanded for careless and defiant actions. Col. Phillips looked down, pacing slightly as he spoke out a letter “Senator Brandt, I regret to report that Captain Steven G. Rogers went missing behind enemy lines on the third. Aerial reconnaissance has proven unfruitful. As a result, I must declare Captain Rogers killed in action. Period.”, I began to shake my head slightly. I had more faith in Steve than this. “The last surveillance flight is back. No sign of activity.” Peggy spoke after the moment of silence, Phillips grimaced again “Go get a cup of coffee, Corporal,” He indicated to the man typing of the letter, who quickly ran off, “I can’t touch Stark. He’s rich and he’s the Army’s number one weapons contractor. You two are neither one.” 

“With respect, sir, I don’t regret my actions. And I don’t think Captain Rogers did either.” Peggy kept her chin up, Phillips opened his mouth to speak before darlingly I interrupted, “And sir, technically I aid Mr Stark in designing the weapons, i’m his partner. The Army needs me.”. Out the corner of my eye I could see Peggy smirking ever so slightly. “What makes you think I give a damn about your opinions. I took a chance with you, Agent Carter. And now America’s golden boy and a lot of other good men are dead, cause you had a crush.” The man’s voice was stern making us both flinch a little.

“It wasn’t that. I had faith.”

Soldiers began to run past our tent again, yelling excitedly. “What the hell’s going on out there?” Phillips began I never heard the rest of his sentence as I ran outwards, seeing Steve with all the men, walking back into camp. I began to jump up and down with some of the men, “You did it!” I yelled to Steve who nodded proudly. “You’re late.” Peggy walked beside me, grinning at him, Steve reached into his jacket and pulled out my transponder, shot through “Couldn’t call my ride.” I laughed and rolled my eyes, looked around slightly. Everything suddenly stopped as I heard a voice yell “Hey! Let’s hear it for Captain America.”. 

“James?” I yelled, before I felt my arm getting tugged on, turning to see him meeting his beautiful eyes once again. “James?” I whispered to him before he pulled me closer, kissing me as if he had been starved of me. “Im here-” He told me putting his hands on my waist, I grabbed at his collar “You’re alive?” I asked, eyes welling of happiness. He kissed me again, and again before telling me “You aren’t gonna get rid of me that easily.”

Tag List - (just ask, and you will be added!)

@nevaeh-potter15 @itskatt- @curlyquico @absentgrey @littlewriter55  @gowritingpage @amazingficsthatididnotwrite @culinarycrystals@immajustread @the-criminal-soldier @supernaturallover2002 

[voidwizerd-archive]

[[ “What the hell is a Kankri?” Wiz Lalonde, prior to realizing a Mista k e

part one of Wiz/Kankri logs from yesterday and today ]]

valorousimperial Mm........ I don't understand.

wiz-texts um im sorry i think u have th wrong account who r u??? u seem confused bout somethin i hope u get in contact w th person ur tryin to reach they prolly got th answers ur lookin fr

valorousimperial I don't think anyone has the answers I'm looking for. They died with your memory of me. Enjoy that unmarked body.

wiz-texts wait. what??? im sorry i dont kno who u r also i havent posted *nothin* bout an unmarked body how th fuck do u kno bout that????

valorousimperial Well, up to last light, we WERE quadranted. I've seen you naked a few times.

wiz-texts okay..... that is bullshit, n u r confused. i may have bad memory but not *that* bad

valorousimperial Wiz Lalonde you cannot possibly have forgotten the stipulations of the deal you made.

valorousimperial ...I'm Kankri.

wiz-texts ...i forgot you i. how could i have im so sorry i dont understand whats happenin

valorousimperial Makes two of us.

wiz-texts im so sorry no that. that prolly dont mean shit. fuck.

valorousimperial ... Not really. No.

wiz-texts Lilac n Red are tellin me not to run away, n i wont, but this is your home im in, apparently

valorousimperial A couple of nights ago, it was your home, too.

wiz-texts i wont stay here if you dont want me to. after what i jus did... fuck, i wouldnt blame you one second for tellin me to leave

wiz-texts ...it still feels like it is

wiz-texts i, im sorry. ill keep my thoughts to myself do.... do you want me to go?

valorousimperial No I'm glad this is still your home

valorousimperial Everyone keeps telling me this will... Get better. I don't know how. But it won't happen if I make you leave.

wiz-texts theyre tellin me that too i dont see how

wiz-texts im so sorry. im so sorry for hurtin you. im so sorry for all of this i wish i could give you th answers and i wish i could make everythin better im sorry

valorousimperial It hurts

[[ Hours In The Future, But Not Many... ]]

valorousimperial Anyway, I thought you should know that those are my teeth.

wiz-texts *fuck* im im sorry i kept holdin it because it felt nice should i not..?????? im sorry

valorousimperial No it

valorousimperial Actually Really comforts me to hear that You did that before. When you were stressed.

wiz-texts i did...? it does feel nice. anchorin but what i did, i shouldnt......

valorousimperial It's fine.

wiz-texts doesnt seem that way fuck, i. am i supposed to talk to you? not talk to you???? i dont know

wiz-texts i dont want to keep hurtin you more than i have...

valorousimperial I I don't know what's fine and not fine

valorousimperial I know I'm selfish and awful and if there's one scar left on you and I made it, if you keep holding it because it makes you feel better, if you don't recoil from it just for existing, then Then they can't have taken everything about me from you.

wiz-texts i..... i think i like it, actually

valorousimperial ??

wiz-texts i like how it looks, n feels. it's got these sorta... ridges?? th dents from th teeth are fun to trace my fingers over is..... is that okay for me to say??? is *any* of this okay gosh i dunno....

valorousimperial Yes.

wiz-texts yes??

valorousimperial I think a lot of things aren't okay. But this is. This is This is them failing. This is them not taking us away from each other. This is good.

valorousimperial I guess that we have to meet one another again.

valorousimperial [[ oh shit it’s dat beautiful boi.jpg aka mun sent an actual picture but i’m being a dork ]] This is me, I'm a troll. Which you had probably figured out.

wiz-texts yea no offense but im in your palace, id be a little concerned if you werent a troll ha youre..... youre really pretty n i have a confession, ive already seen this picture

valorousimperial This is the whole picture!! And it's not tiny!! I like to think that I'm pretty, I'm glad you do, too.

wiz-texts because i went through all the tags and message history like..... five or six times already nothin came back. im sorry

valorousimperial ... Oh, I Didn't figure it would But I'm glad you tried.

wiz-texts i wanted to try. wanted to see if i could feel..... *somethin* like memory

valorousimperial I assume there's not even a sense of deja vu.

wiz-texts it feels different. ive forgotten a lot of things n those are all fuzzy, its like..... like my brain is swamped in a fog

wiz-texts this, though, it dont feel fuzzy it feels like its just been..... scooped right outta my brain. cant remember what isnt there anymore, right

valorousimperial Right I don't begrudge you that. I begrudge you WHY it's gone. But not that it is.

wiz-texts there is some kinda feelin but i dont know if thats because of my guilt or nah. great mystery right there.....

wiz-texts not deja vu. somethin else

valorousimperial ?

wiz-texts like..... shucks, i dunno how to word it

wiz-texts .....

wiz-texts heck

valorousimperial The best you can do works for me.

wiz-texts i. i dont know, i.... feel like maybe its out of line?? too soon???? im just... lookin at things and thinkin n searchin until things go blurry

valorousimperial It's never too soon for you to take comfort in things. You and I, We'll just Play it by ear, right? And maybe things can work again. Do you maybe want to play a questions game?

wiz-texts i aint.... exactly takin comfort in it i dont think???

valorousimperial ?

wiz-texts it. mm. th thing i keep feelin goin through th tags ......because im a stubborn fuck n starin at everythin for. i think this is my fourteenth time through th whole thing

wiz-texts it aint deja vu but its like......... somethin of me *does* know you???? not a memory but. somethin .........

valorousimperial Well This is the part where you intimately relearn my penchant for dirty jokes, I guess But I bet I can guess what part of you remembers me...

wiz-texts ....you actually got me to laugh there sounded more like this wheezin sorta thing but thats what it was

valorousimperial Pfft.

wiz-texts but no its like... ppl talk bout butterflies in their stomachs, when they like someone, right???? its like that i guess

valorousimperial !!!!

wiz-texts except its more in my chest n it feels like..... a knot??? a knot gettin pulled tighter n tighter n then i get overwhelmed n i cry but i dont. know if thats good or bad it feels good AND bad if that makes any sense i dunno....... i dunno

valorousimperial Less !!!! Butt still at least !

wiz-texts why????

valorousimperial I just I want you to feel things about me.

wiz-texts i do too i want to feel *all* th things bout you, i want to feel everythin i did before n like add a whole bunch more on top to. to make up for this if you want me to if you dont thats... thats okay. rly its your decision

valorousimperial I don't know

valorousimperial I'm

wiz-texts .....obviously i already made mine. ha....

valorousimperial I'm really fucked up about this.

wiz-texts i know. im sorry i shouldnt have said that

valorousimperial ...yes. You did make your decision. But you had to have had a reason. Because all this... Getting rid of the hated scars, and leaving mine behind The fluttering and the tightness in you when you look at who we were together

wiz-texts im blurtin out everythin that comes into my head, ill....... ill stop. i shouldnt be doin this to you. i shouldnt its gotta be hurtin you n i dont want that

valorousimperial WANTING to have what we did again You clearly don't hate me, or my memory. So you You had to have had a reason.

wiz-texts ..... yea but i... i cant begin to understand it. i remember how much i hated th scars but...... it doesnt make sense. ive been tryin all night n it doesnt make sense

valorousimperial ?

valorousimperial All night? Like, all of all night? Did you get a nap? Did you focus on something else?

wiz-texts not...... really......

valorousimperial !! Are you very tired?

wiz-texts dunno? dunno ???????? um

valorousimperial You used to get really very exhausted Easily.

wiz-texts i have been picked up by a judgin troll lady

valorousimperial ?????

wiz-texts Lilac keeps. voodooin ppl in here i kinda barricaded th door n hid away for a little so i could think

valorousimperial He's a good clown.

wiz-texts um. it seems that was a while ago. breakfast time????? what time is it now i dont think im exhausted but its hard to tell so. oh well

valorousimperial You haven't eaten AT ALL? Oh, Wiz, no No, don't do that.

wiz-texts i forgot. didnt feel hungry or much of anything else tbh scold Keeune too he's been awake since his shift last light wtf

valorousimperial Keeune is attached to you and doing much what I would if I found out you were mysteriously sick.

wiz-texts im not? sick?????

valorousimperial In a way.

wiz-texts ....oh

wiz-texts um

wiz-texts you should go to sleep. i wouldnt wanna keep you when your moirail is waitin

valorousimperial No, I'm okay.

wiz-texts mm......

valorousimperial Let's play the questions game. What's your favorite color?

valorousimperial Oh, I didn't see his post

wiz-texts ha. yea thats what i meant

valorousimperial He's so drowsy. He'll fall asleep any minute.

wiz-texts u should go to him though!!

valorousimperial I'm with him.

wiz-texts then like.... go to sleep???

wiz-texts [[ wiz, internally: give attention to your real quad..... ]]

valorousimperial What’s your favorite color?