#those ppl treated it the same way trans or fem/masc presenting ppl treated having the opposite/non-preferred pronouns being used on them

[youredreamingofroo]

I know they/them is an incredibly universal and widely accepted set of pronouns to use especially if u dont know someone's pronouns, but I remember seeing people say they do NOT want to be referred to as "they/them" on twt before and so now whenever I check a blog and they don't specify their pronouns, I fall to my knees in anguish like FUCKKK are my mental notes using they/them for this person gonna get leaked and am I gonna get canceled for using they/them with them... 😔

[cardentist]

tags by @erwinswings :

#something ive also seen in fandom spaces is the idea that cis men should be free to dress however feminine or masculine they want but#trans men can only be hyper masc#and following that that transmasc ppl can only be masc#come on guys. come on. seriously#this is why i get so nervous sharing my main oc who like me is transmasc but feminine#like since when is “being feminine makes you Less of a Man” a progressive take

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no because I feel this really does need to be said. for years now I've experienced this Exact pattern of seeing a character that I recognize myself in (body-type, presentation, personality, etc), taking comfort in seeing that character as trans, and then seeing a constant drip feed of accusations surrounding trans headcanons Of said character, often by other trans mascs.

I've seen it Explicitly framed as stereotypical, infantilizing, treating trans men like they're less than men, And More. I think if I have to see someone call a man "an uwu softboi" for being drawn in pink or with wider hips one more time I'm going to be on the news.

and like, as far as transphobia and gender norms are concerned there's no "right" way to be trans. masc and fem and anywhere in between, around, in-combination-with, Etc, all trans people are going to be targeted for their presentation.

trans men are not rewarded for being feminine, trans men are not rewarded for being masculine. but it's easy to Assume that you're punished for presenting a certain way, then someone else must be Rewarded for presenting the other.

it's this weird combative attitude that trans people (and really, minority groups of all kinds) can have with each other. these minute differences blown up into dividing lines.

it's frustrating, especially because people don't tend to see or understand the harm they're doing, and often feel justified in doing it Because it comes from a place of hurt and personal discomfort.

and I think ! the hurt and discomfort Itself isn't inherently a problem. people in the same spaces can have incompatible needs, and that Can cause friction. but the Reaction to and Understanding of those feelings is definitely problematic.

sometimes personal discomfort is something that you just have to sit with ! or at least not project publicly. sometimes you will see something that very actively gets under your skin, and there will be nothing wrong with it. nothing Needs to be done, because it's just somebody else living their life in the same spaces you do.

but people treat All feelings of discomfort as both problems to solve and blame to place. the friction of sharing spaces with people who have different needs from you treated like intentional harm being done by some outsider.

"you can't draw a trans man with tits, that's transphobic and gives me dysphoria" is not a reasonable thing to say. there are trans men who Do have breasts. some who can't afford top surgery, some who can't have it for medical reasons, some who don't want it in the first place, who are happy having breasts.

these depictions that you find so uncomfortable to the point of thinking it shouldn't be allowed to be depicted Are Real. there are real living breathing people who look and act and Are these things. and they deserve the comfort of seeing themselves as much as you do. and they deserve to Be Seen as much as you do.

people will be like "gender is a construct" and then turn around and be like "no no no your boy characters can't be girly, they can't wear pink, they can't be short, they can't wear dresses, they can't wear pretty bows or hair clips, they can't wear make up or nail polish, Especially not if they're gay or trans or-

because That would be Infantilizing. don't you know it's just making queer men out to be ittle uwu babies cinnamon roll softbois to [check notes] Be Feminine. so remember, it's problematic and you should always question yourself when you like seeing queer men that way <3"

gender is a construct and you've got your hi-vis vest on and spackle in hand. because it's So Very Progressive to equate femininity with childishness and dehumanization