#those guys sure loved defeating monsters by pouring concrete on them

[clonerightsagenda]

If you’ve recently purchased a property and you’re worried about a history of illicit worship, sunken temples, or forgotten sacrifices buried in the walls or floor, call the Slag King Excavation Service hotline today. With the cleansing power of liquid concrete, we’ll purify your foundations.

Is this a Magnus Archives joke

[genshingarbage]

Don’t Say Goodbye. || One-Shots ||

I am just in a mood to create broken hearts right now it would appear, this is just a few one-shots on a couple of the boys and my take on how they would act with there s/o dying in their arms due to various reasons based on the character i am writing for. - Mod Diluc

Diluc

The sound of yells grew distant as the vision began to blur from your eyes. The only sensation you could still feel was the tight grasp of your hand in the larger one wrapped round it squeezing it. Diluc was holding you as you laid there on the muddy dirt, resting your bloody and broken body on his legs. Cradling you like a new born while shaking back and forth, trembling in traumatic disbelief over what was taking place before him.

His eyes were swelling with tears threatening to break out and spill down his cheeks, he kept kissing your weak hand gently, each kiss being dragged out longer than the one before, shaky shushes passing his lips in a frail attempt to soothe your weakening body. You'd been adventuring alone again for several weeks away from Mondstat and The Dawn Winery.

You didn't think much of it as you often left for long adventuring trips, bringing back goofy and silly souvenirs for your beloved Diluc, you just didn't realise this time around you'd be ambushed by the Fatui on your long trek back to his winery. Having been unbeknownst to you fatally wounded, you managed to break free and escape, bleeding heavily from your right side, shakily sprinting to the only place you knew could be a safe haven, Dilucs winery.

You'd fallen to the ground in a crumpled heap not barely a few seconds after Diluc spotting you running down the dusty and dirty road. He sprinted to you eyes wide yelling as loud as his vocal chords would physically let him. "Y/N! No!" He skidded and slumped down into the dirt himself, tugging you carefully but quickly into his lap muttering 'No' over and over in rapid breaths. And now you were where you were at, the life slowly but surely leaving you while all you could feel was Dilucs gentle kissing lips and warming embrace.

Does he know how much you love him? Did ever know how much he meant to you? Oh no... the souvenir you'd found for him... you dropped it back when you was ambushed... he would've loved it so much... however likewise with him to you, did you know how much you meant to him? How truly happy he was that he'd finally found someone he could trust and give his life to. Had he ever even said he loves you back? All these questions that were going to be left unanswered to the both of you.

Still trembling he watched as your light dimmed in your eyes, leaning his head down he softly placed a kiss against your unresponsive lips, parting ever so slightly to rest his forehead against yours and whimpering in a broken tone. "I love you, Y/N" When he lifted his head back up he felt the air being squeezed out of his lungs to see your eyes were now closed and there was no longer movement in your body.

He looked up at the night sky, the stars twinkling so beautifully over such a devastating and tragic moment. Closing his eyes he silently prayed the gods take good care of you up there till he can finally be there with you. Lifting up slowly with your now lifeless body bridal style in his arms he began to walk back to his winery, his expression stern and showing no pain. But it was all a facade for inside he was crying and screaming to the heavens and hell for having let this happen to you.

"They will pay Y/N, I promise you. I'll see you again soon; someday."

Childe

The rain was pouring heavily, hitting angrily against the cold hard concrete, the drops splashing up and back down as they landed with such impact. You were wet and cold, but your body had been going numb for minutes now as the blood was leaving your body so quickly. You shakily looked round to see the last attacker being cut down to the floor by your one and only love, Ajax.

The unknown man's body hadn't even hit the floor by the time Ajax had thrown his weapons down and rushed to your side. "Oi oi, come on now, look alive. More will be coming soon." He let out a nervous laugh not wanting to believe what he was seeing in front of him right now. You'd only gone out for a little drink and joke about in the beautiful rainy day, you both enjoyed running around in the rain so much after all. He tapped your cheek gently trying to keep you conscious as he could see your focus leaving you as fast as your blood was.

He pressed his hand against the open wound in your chest; a pitiful attempt to try slow the bleeding. You cursed yourself for not being more alert of your surroundings when that man crept up behind you and ambushed you by surprise. He shook his head vigorously side to side. His mask hiding most of the unbearable pain behind it. He should've known better than to think it was safe to come back to Liyue so soon after having caused such chaos.

Why the fuck did they have to go for you both though, you were innocent from all this it was him they wanted so why, why?! Why you?! He made a soft 'Tsk' sound from his mouth as he choked back the tears while looking at you. You had little vision left, little time too, but with what little strength you had remaining you lifted your hand up gently and pulled his mask off. Wanting to see his face one last time before you're gone from this world.

Exposing his damp cheeks and red eyes to you, you were able to form the smallest smile at him. "Don't... d-don't leave me Y/N, please..." his voice was barely a whisper now as he remained stiff by your side. "I won't..." You coughed back gently, you didn't even try to sound believable with that; you both knew it was a lie and you were on your way out with only seconds to spare.

You were his everything, he knew you was too good for him from the very beginning, yet you was determined to always be by his side. He knew he was a bad guy, a villain, but with you by his side he was able to feel like someone's hero. You meant fucking everything to him so why did someone so pure have to be taken so soon. You coughed gently once more before choosing your last words carefully, knowing they were to be your last.

"Childe- Ajax, you're not a bad guy. I have and will always love you..." Your voice faded into a whisper and then... nothing. Your eyes closed and your hand that had been against his cheek was now limp, the only reason it was still in its prior place was because Childe himself had been applying slight pressure to keep it there. You were gone now, at rest and probably somewhere much better and further away from this hell.

He looked at your resting face just wishing you'd open your eyes again and say it was all just a big terrible joke. But that wasn't the case, however his broken and torn expression immediately dissolved when he heard the rapid steps growing louder. "There he is! Apprehend him now!" One of the guards shouted to the several others. He quietly apologised to your resting form, letting your hand leave his face and finally rest with the rest of your body, he was also sorry as he wasn't gonna be able to give you the burial you deserved, he wasn't gonna be able to use that ring he'd bought you to propose with, and unknowing to him, you wasn't gonna be able to tell him the good news that he would've been a dad.

He lifted up slowly, hair now soaked and water droplets falling from all over his body. The blood leaving your body had began to swirl and dance with the water pooling against the concrete as the heavy rain showed no signs of slowing down. His mask back in his hand before it found its way back on his face, turning and stepping over to his slung down blades and kicking them up into the air grabbing them. Parting his knees swiftly and getting into his battle ready stance. The mask made him look like the bad guy every one claimed him to be, but underneath was the most broken and tormented boy that they'll never know.

"I'll always love you too Y/N, I am sorry but you're wrong, I've always been a bad guy, I just... I tried to be a better one for you."

Xiao

The sky was ablaze, organe and yellow flickering all over, ember floating up and down softly. It was so hot; unbearably so as you were laying on the wooden floor of the top balcony at the Wangshu Inn, blood spilling out of you and soaking the wood all around you. The fire was growing dangerously closer, but did it matter now? You would be dead in a couple more minutes away.

Had everyone escaped the Inn at least? Was everyone safe? You hoped they were. But it was then you felt an instant gust of cold wind wail past you like a roaring monster and die down the flames that had been encircling you and drawing ever so closer. Your vision was nearly gone and it was hard to make out anything except the smoke and fire, but those blue oni mask eyes were unmistakable, Xiao was above you right now.

His hand was hovering over your cheek, still scared that even now he may cause you more pain than comfort in your fleeting moments. "Y/N wake up. Don't be defeated so easily, this is truly pathetic, even for your standards." Harsh words as always, you knew he was sad and just lashing out, his words were cracking and his voice was wavering in its tone. Was that a sniffle? It was hard to make out among the crackling fire destroying the walls and wood around you and his mask muttering and muffling his already quiet words.

Why did they go for you? They wanted him to become nothing anymore, to just slip away and leave the entire history of Liyue to them. Leave the nation built under Rex Lapis to the incapable feeble hands of mortals. He couldn't ever allow that, he refused to back down so easily. But this? Surprise attacking the Inn and burning it down while taking the only mortal who held something to him away? How sick and lowly of them.

You went to speak but all you could muster was a cough as blood spat out your mouth across your bottom lip, your time was fading fast. He swallowed down and removed his mask, a shake in his hand as he did so, resting his proper gaze on your form one last time, allowing you to see him in his first ever vulnerable state, tears slowly falling from his face, letting his hand slide across your cheek gently, swiping the blood off your soft delicate lip. Why did it hurt him so bad? Why was this reaching so deep within him?

All those times he'd sighed and disappeared to get away from you, all those eye-rolls to your silly jokes and huffs to your tedious and pointless tasks. Why did he feel an ache in his throat when he thought about how he won't ever get to experience those annoying moments again? What was this? It couldn't be. Had he truly fallen in love with a mortal? Impossible, but what else could explain this gut wrenching feeling he had swirling inside him.

Everything was crumbling apart around him but his focus remained on you as you looked at him with those eyes, those same eyes that often stared at him with hope and admiration, now they stared with soft kindness and fleeting wishes. If this was love then he wasn't ready to have it taken from him so soon, but what could he do except watch as you left this world. He gritted his teeth together and his hand clenched tightly round his blood stained spear. This was truly unforgivable. If only he had killed those monsters sooner, got to you quicker... maybe then he could've saved you.

"I..." he began to stutter gentle words out while stroking his thumb delicately across your cheek, why hadn't he just swallowed his pride and touched you sooner? Why hadn't he just admitted this to himself quicker and embraced you. You had always been there for him despite his many harsh rejections, you were nothing but kind and truthful, loyal and honest to him and now? He resented himself for not having taken the chance to love that he had had in his grip for so long. Your vision was gone now and your ears were following quickly behind. "I... Y/N..."

Just spit it out already, before the time runs out for you- "Y/N I love you..." he looked at your face searching for a response but you were gone now. The gods had given you all the time they could spare and unfortunately it wasn't long enough to Xiao. It wasn't fair. He couldn't even let you know how he truly felt before you were ripped from him. Tears rolled down his face faster now, but the sorrow and pain he felt quickly welded into anger and inner rage boiling at the highest temperature.

He frowned deeply, lifting up from your body, hiding his broken expression behind his oni mask once again, shakily breathing in with a deep sigh, the shake in his hands slowly dissolving as his mind set itself onto a new mission, he turned and walked to the banister of the balcony and swiftly lifted up onto the top, looking over the landscape around him as the only place he'd truly ever known as home was burning to ash around him. He turned round taking one last longing look at your lifeless form and then leapt high into the air soaring through the skies, straight for Liyue.

You never wanted this, he knew that, you'd never want him to cause a war over your death, but you wasn't here to talk reason into him anymore. He was never gonna see your annoyingly beautiful face again, and this was all Liyues fault. They had to pay, and if that meant causing a war between humans and Adepti... then so be it.

"Forgive me Y/N, but without you here now, I see no reason to keep caring for these monsters. I'll hope you'll understand when I see you again one day."

[starshipcaptainjojo]

SPN Series Finale As Written By A Tumblr-Adjacent

OR Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647983

-

The end of the world started on a Tuesday, because that seemed thematically appropriate. In the five hours since Castiel- his Castiel- had gone to Superhell, Dean Winchester had sat on the floor of what looked like a warehouse and contemplated his existence. 

Around an hour before dawn, Sam had shown up.

“Well today sucked,” Sam sunk down against the wall next to him, unaware that Cas was in superhell and Dean was having an existential crisis. “Hey,” Sam nudged Dean with his shoulder, “Dean. Dean listen…” When his brother didn’t respond Sam let his head hit the concrete wall with a thunk, “Dean, we don’t have time for the existential crisis right now. I want to talk about reality.”

Dean was always having an existential crisis, so even when Sam didn’t know what was going on, he could count on Dean to have an emotional crisis about it.

“Cas is gone,” Dean said, with the same emotional maturity of so many years ago, sitting in a different concrete bunker and thinking about Cas being gone for the first or second time. “For real this time.”

“Right,” Sam agreed with the longsuffering tone of someone who recognized the conversation from the multitudes of conversations just like it that they’d had. “Well, I’m sure he’ll show up again-”

“He loves me, Sammy. He said so.” Dean stared at his clasped hands, processing.

“What?” Sam’s jaw dropped, “you’re kidding, he actually said it?” Sam nodded thoughtfully, lips turning down as his eyebrows went up. “Well shit. Nice one, Cas.”

Dean swallowed, “he’s dead.”

“So what else is new,” Sam snorted, “we’ll get him back, then you can tell him you want to hunt monsters together forever, and we can talk about Eileen.”

“What about her?” Dean let himself be distracted by Sam’s life, per usual.

“I’m going to marry her. Just a thing. You won’t even see it.” Sam nudged him again. “But that’s after we get Cas back.”

“He’s in superhell,” Dean covered his face with his hands. “He’s in superhell with Death.”

“Death can’t kill him if they’re in superhell.” Sam leapt up and held his hand out. “Come on, we’ve broken into hell before. I’ll be mad at you for being such a drama whore once we get Cas back.”

“Deal.” Dean had no other ideas.

 There was a lot of research to do, and Dean couldn’t think about it, so he went to a local fair to distract himself.

There was a flying ride that said ‘fly like an angel’ some angel food cake, some fake wings to win at the prize booth and a craft table where you could make a couples’ frame.

Dean entered the pie eating contest to not think about anything but pie.

“Some of y’all are here to win the money! Others the glory of pie-eating supremacy!” The MC clapped her hands and winked lasciviously at Dean, who forced a wan smile. “Some of y’all just want to impress somebody important, hm?” She licked her lips at Dean.

Her lips weren’t as plush as Cas’s.

Dean shoved his face directly into his pie, and pie into his piehole.

Dean did not win the pie-eating contest, but his pie-eating neighbor also didn’t mention when he’d started crying halfway through eating his second pie and his third-place prize was a puppy, so he still called it a pie-eating victory.

Sam called right as Dean was about to buy too much alcohol and then possibly drive drunk. He had learned nothing in his decades of being alive.

“So I need you to help me with something,” Sam began, “how soon can you get back here?”

“Right now.” Dean handed both his beers to an excited teenager, said “Happy 21st birthday” regardless of the kid's age and got into the Impala. “On my way, Sam.”

He drove too fast and didn’t think about superhell.

“Superhell is being here while Cas is in superhell,” Dean muttered to his new dog as he parked the car. “So superhell is a stupid concept and I hate it. Who even came up with a superhell?”

The dog wagged its tail, because it was a good dog.

“I already love you. Why’s it so easy to tell you that?” Dean ruffled the dog’s ears. “Superhell is not being able to say it when it counts.”

He stomped into their base and almost ran directly into Sam.

“I found a spell to let us call Chuck!” Sam was excited like a giant baby moose. “If we call the operator on a cell phone, we get a straight line to God!” Sam put a spell scroll in Dean’s face.

“I got a dog?” Dean offered as his new puppy immediately leapt on Sam affectionately.

“The hell?” Sam began petting the dog while Dean read the spell.

“The hell?” Dean echoed, reading the passage, which indeed implied heavily that they could trigger pressing and holding the zero button on any cell phone to call Chuck directly if the spell was completed with powerful enough components.

The ritual involved burning something precious to them.

There were only a few things they loved.

“I can’t do it,” Dean was saying, staring at the only viable option.

“Dean, this is for Cas!” Sam wasn’t very convinced. “Maybe we can try something else? Burning something else?”

“No, Sam. This is the only option” Dean clutched the can of gasoline to his chest.

His dog barked once, worried.

“You can’t do this,” Sam held Dean’s shoulders. “We can think of something else!”

The dog whined, looking nervously up at them.

“No, Sammy.” Dean clenched his teeth. “We gotta do this. For Cas. He woulda done it for us.”

He poured the gasoline and lit the match, his dog cowered from their myriad emotions.

“I’m sorry.” Dean ignited the gasoline.

They watched the Impala burn together, the dog hiding behind their legs.

“Say the incantation, Sam.”

Between the sobs, Sam Winchester recited the spell giving them a direct line to God. He wiped his eyes as their phones both lit up red, gold and blue.

“Do it,” he handed the phone to Dean.

Dean hit the button.

“No I’m not bringing Castiel back from superhell,” Chuck said when he answered. “So don’t try to convince me.”

“Okay fuck you,” Dean began diplomatically with the experience and reverence of someone who had averted the apocalypse multiple times. 

Chuck hung up on him.

Dean called back.

Chuck sent him to voicemail.

“I got God’s voicemail,” he told Sam, who made an exasperated sound and used his own phone to call Chuck.

“I said I wouldn’t bring Castiel back from Superhell,” Chuck told Sam directly.

“I’m not asking for that.” Sam looked at Dean, then smiled sadly. “I want to trade myself for Castiel. Send me to Superhell.”

Dean lunged for Sam, but Sam was like a foot taller than him and held him away with his free hand with ease. He’d had decades to perfect the game of keepaway.

“I can’t,” Chuck clucked his tongue, “I can only send people who have admitted to a great and terrible love to Superhell.”

“I love Dean, which sucks,” Sam reminded.

“Yeah but like, not like that-”

“Just send me to Superhell. I was supposed to go to hell years ago anyway, and if Dean and Cas are here together… well then it’ll be worth it. I don’t want to keep hunting, and like you said, I don’t-” he choked and looked at Dean, who was scowling at him and still struggling to steal the phone. “-I don’t have a great love.”

“What about Eileen?” Chuck asked, because he knew everything and was God.

“Well we’d probably break up anyway. Or get old and pass on hunting to our kids and what kind of future is that?” Sam made eye contact with Dean, who had frozen. “What would the point of that be?”

“What are you saying?” Dean’s voice was soft, angry and scared and sad.

“I’m saying I’m tired, Dean.” Sam held the phone close to his head. “Chuck I want you to trade me for Cas, and I’ll go to Superhell.”

“I mean deal,” Chuck agreed, “the way I understand it, Castiel in superhell is what would have defeated me anyway. Done.”

“Sam-” Dean pulled back to speak the words they’d needed their whole lives.

“Don’t tell me you love me, Dean.” Sam smiled, tears gathering in his eyes, “or he’ll send you to Superhell.”

“Sammy-” Dean’s anguished word was crushed as Sam hugged him.

“I love you Dean, be happy.” Sam smiled tightly, hugging his brother until Dean’s arms wrapped around him in return. Dean swallowed the lump in his throat and tried to speak. The arms around him changed, tightened, became different.

“I love you,” Dean whispered into a warm collarbone.

“That’s a relief,” Castiel’s voice said, and Dean yanked himself back in shock.

Castiel, as he had always been with his dirty trenchcoat and beautiful eyes and shapely mouth looked back at Dean gently and conjured an exhausted smile.

“I meant that ‘I love you’ for Sam, actually.” Dean chocked on a laugh as Castiel’s soft expression fell. Cas tried to pull away but Dean’s hands on his coat were firm. “But I’ve got one for you too, Cas. Then we gotta go figure out how to get Sam out of Superhell.”

“Wait what?” Castiel began, but then Dean was kissing him, pulling him close by the lapels of his dirty trenchcoat.

 Halfway around the world, Chuck crossed his legs and leaned back in his chair, looking out over the highlands of Scotland. 

“I hate humans but damn, those Winchesters are something huh?” He smirked at Death, who shrugged noncommittally and poured him some tea.

“Are you interested in dying after all, then?” She picked up her own tea and sipped it.

“Nah, dying seems so mundane. Happens practically every day. No, I think I’m going to Superhell. There’s nothing in there and I want Dean Winchester and Castiel to really have an interesting time when they try to open it up and get Sam back.”

“You’re a dick,” Sam said, sitting in his own chair, “what are you even up to?”

“I was thinking about what you said, Sammy.” Chuck sipped his tea noisily just to watch Sam flinch, “about what’s the point of it all. Like what are you even going to do with yourself if you guys did beat me?”

Sam didn’t answer.

“Exactly,” Chuck agreed. “You don’t have a future here. You asked to go to Superhell.”

“Where I also have no future.”

“Wrong!” Chuck leaned forward. “Superhell is empty. A void. There’s no future waiting for you there. You’d have to make it.”

Sam stared blankly at him.

“Wow I thought you were the smart brother?” Chuck scoffed a derisive laugh, which Death smiled indulgently at. “Sam Winchester,” he began, leaning forward again. “I have a giant empty limitless superhell I’ve never even bothered terraforming.”

“Yeah?” Sam frowned.

“Sam Winchester, how do you feel about learning to be God?”