#those are just words but they stay with you forever

[strayingawayy]

it's okay, i'll tell you again...

...the one where you keep forgetting but jisung is patient and a man in love.

this fic is for me, mostly. lol.

"-and then changbin was like ‘jisung-ah! no one can rap those words together, are you insane?’ and i swear i was about to prove him wrong, but then seungmin stole one of my two americanos and i got distracted-"

jisung is talking fast, words tumbling over each other, hands moving animatedly as he paces the room. he’s vibrating with excitement, barefoot in sweatpants, hoodie slipping off one shoulder, hair still a little damp from his shower and the slightest of stubble prominent on his face.

you watch him from the couch, heart swelling. he’s happy, your baby is happy. that much is obvious. his voice is light, effortless, full of something big.

but there’s a problem.

you have no fucking idea what he’s talking about.

your hands clench slightly against your lap. the words all make sense individually, but strung together, they slip through your fingers like water. your brain is still foggy, edges blurred, time folding in on itself. you remember what happened days before, the dizziness, the cold tile floor. you remember jisung’s hands, warm and steady, his voice pulling you back as your body seized, but now.

now, you’re sitting here, watching the person you love talk about something clearly very important to him and you don’t remember what it is.

jisung spins on his heel, still grinning. "and the best part jagi, lix thinks this is the best track i’ve ever done. like for a sub-unit like, no joke, he-"

he stops.

his expression shifts, just slightly. the kind of change only someone who really knows him would catch. the flicker of hesitation. the way his fingers twitch, mid-gesture, and he has to hold in his excitement for a minute.

"you okay?" his voice is softer now, eyes too. still warm, still jisung, but quieter.

you swallow. "i- uh- yeah. i just.." your throat closes. "ji, i don’t…"

his eyes scan your face, his lips unknowingly puckering out in a slight pout. he waits.

your fingers twist in the hem of your, no-his, hoodie actually. "i don’t remember what you’re talking about."

a pause.

jisung doesn’t move, doesn’t react the way you expect. no frustration, no disappointment. just silent understanding.

"you don’t?"

you shake your head, ashamed. fuckfuckfuck. "i'm so sorry, i should, right? i mean, it’s about your album-"

"mixtape: dominate," he supplies, voice gentle.

"yeah." your breathe wobbles. "i knew about this, didn’t i?"

his gaze softens. he walks over, sits beside you, knee knocking against yours. "yeah," he says, tone making it sound like it's that simple, that acceptable for you to forget about it. "but it’s okay."

your hands tighten around your sleeves. "it’s not okay," you whisper. "it’s your album, jisung. something you're so excited about. i should remember."

jisung is silent for a moment.

"hey." he nudges you lightly. "look at me."

you do, because that's all you can do now.

and he smiles. not out of pity, not forced. just soft, unwavering. jisung. yours.

"you wanna know about it again?"

you blink. "you don’t mind?"

his expression turns almost amused. "sweetheart, i could talk about this forever. you’re honestly giving me an excuse to yap."

your chest aches.

jisung leans back against the couch, tilting his head toward you. "alright. let’s start from the beginning."

and then he tells you, with his hands intertwined with yours and head resting on your shoulder.

about the late nights in the studio, the way he kept reworking the same verse until chan threatened to unplug his mic, something that hadn't happened since his pre-debut days. about the lyric that nearly got scrapped because they felt it didn't have the same energy without the swear words. about the way the whole group hyped each other up, him, changbin and chan staying late just to perfect the production, minho recording harmonies at 3 a.m. with a voice half gone from exhaustion.

he tells you about his part, how his verse came together, how he spent hours layering the ad-libs, how he poured everything into this.

and you listen.

you listen, even though you should remember. even though it stings, even though the guilt still lingers at the edges.

but jisung just keeps talking, filling the empty spaces, filling you with the pieces you lost.

and somehow, it doesn’t feel so bad.

because it just feels like it's enough. like it always has, with jisung by your side, hand in yours.

[agustdtown1]

CLOSER TO YOU [TEASER]

PAIRING: nerdy!roommate!jungkook x OF!reader.

SUMMARY: After getting various comments about your poor filming skills for your OF page, you finally decided to give in and reach out to the one person that could help you with your problem. However, what started as your roommate just helping you to film your video turned into you begging him to fuck you.

How long would it take for Jungkook to finally give in? After all, all he ever wanted was to be closer to you.

WC (teaser): 615, final work is almost 10k

WARNINGS (teaser): swearing, sexual themes, allusion to masturbation, it’s not explicitly stated but reader is fully naked, reader being a little menace and jk being completely whipped for her. The rest of the warnings will be added to the final fic.

A/N: not me coming back here after almost a year of not writing anything. I don’t have any further explanation aside from the fact that my life changed a lot and I got way busier than I thought I would, I also kinda lost inspiration and motivation to write so… there’s that, hopefully with this new fic I’ll be back to writing more often and being active. n e way, enjoy your reading and lmk if u wanna be tagged for the final fic! <3

masterlist

“Kook…” You breathed out, “I need you.”

It was so subtle, so fleeting the smugness that covered his face for a brief instant that you barely noticed. His eyes widened and his lips moved like that of a fish trying to survive out of the water, he didn’t know what to do, much less what to say. 

“Me?” He whispered, completely clueless of the effect he was having on you in that moment. You nodded, fingers stilling in between your legs. “Wh-What do you mean?”

You sat up, stopping the filming once again. “Exactly what I said, I need you… I-I need your help with something else. You can say no, but… I would be forever grateful to you if you said yes.”

Jungkook was putting to use his 128 IQ score to try and understand what you were hinting at, but none the wiser, he needed the words spelled out to him to get your idea. And so, as softly as possible, you explained what your need was actually about. You noticed the way his body reacted to you and the show you were putting on for your viewers but more specifically for him; it was painfully obvious how much he desired you, and in all honesty, you weren’t any better. 

Ever since you two started living together, you swore that you wouldn’t act on the small and silly crush you developed for him after meeting for the first time. It was just a silly attraction that wasn’t worth the hassle of getting involved with your roommate; his built body and big biceps drove you crazy, and you couldn’t turn a blind eye to the intricate tattoos adorning his arm, which was such a stark contrast to the type of man he made himself out to be; the lip ring shining from his mouth was so painfully enticing, and more often than not, you found yourself wondering what it would feel like against your lips while kissing the life out of him. And God bless the person that gets you started on how much you loved those black rimmed glasses that adorned his eyes almost 24/7, giving him a geeky look that would never fail to make you weak in the knees. But all of those features, as well as the lewd scenarios conquering your mind minutes before going to sleep, had made it difficult for you to stay in your lane all this time. Tonight, however, might be your one and only chance to turn your dirty dreams into reality, only and only if Jungkook agreed to your idea.

“I don’t want this to ruin our friendship.” He murmured, looking down at the floor and avoiding your hopeful eyes glaring at him. You reached out for him, your soft hands coming in contact with his covered thighs while you kneeled in front of him. “Y/n… don’t do this to me.” His whole body stiffened, fighting the urge to jump your bones and turn you into a crying mess just like he always imagined.

“You don’t want me like that, Kookie?” You so innocently asked, lashes fluttering against your cheekbones. “Is that the real problem, hm?” Your hands were sliding up and down his thighs, teasing him.

“God, no.” He answered breathlessly, “You have no fucking idea how bad I want you…”  

“Then why don’t you show me? What’s stopping you, hm?” Your cheek resting on his jean-covered thigh elicited a soft gasp from your roommate. “It's just a small favor.” 

“I… fuck, you’re driving me crazy right now.” He ran a hand through his hair, pulling at the ends while letting out a frustrated groan. Jungkook took off his glasses while rubbing his eyes before looking at you again. “You have to promise… you really have to promise that it will be a one-time thing. No more favors after this, at least not of this caliber.” 

You nodded eagerly, looking at him with a spark in your eyes. “I promise, just this time.” 

“Okay,” Jungkook nodded, “I’ll help you with anything you need.”

[whatifitis]

♡ pit in my gut, in the shape of you - CL 16

♡

Summary: After a disastrous breakup, you manage to pick yourself up again and reach goals you always thought were out of reach. But what do you do when you run into your ex who does everything in his power to tear you down? Could you ever love again? And do you see your friend the way he sees you?

Author's Note: Omg another one of my old fics 😍 This one is very reworked though. Also, this fic is very much focused on y/n HOWEVER if it is wanted, part 2 has a lot more Charles with a lovely connection :D

WC: 5999

CW: angst, breakup, mentions of depression and its symptoms, Calum Hood portrayed in a bad light (IM A 5SOS FAN PLS DONT HATE ME), a stupid man being mean as fuck, fluff if you squint

You two were best friends. Everyday, you were stuck to each other's side. Whether you were out on adventures, or just at home watching the worst rom-coms ever made. You never got sick of eachother. Forever stuck to each other by glue. 

You always feared that those who loved you would eventually grow to hate you and get annoyed by you. That even the little things you did would result in them leaving, because they have before. But he never left. He stayed by your side for 3 summers. 

But then something changed. He stopped asking you about things; your interests, your days, your work. He stopped kissing you goodnight. He stopped bringing you lilies, your favorite flower. And one day, he just seemed to stop loving you. He left without a word. All he left in your two bedroom apartment was a note saying “I can’t do this anymore”. 

You had noticed the change in his behavior, but you thought, hoped, it was just a rough patch that most couples go through. You thought everything would go back to normal. You thought that if you tried enough, he would stay. You stopped going on tangents about anything and everything. You took on less hours at work to try and cook for him everyday and be present. You tried to make plans with him. But he still wouldn’t give you the time of day. You began to wonder what you did wrong. Where did it go wrong?. Did youtalk too much? Did he start to think your obsession with things was weird or childish? Or did he simply just fall out of love with you? What could you do to change and bring him back? 

The day he left was the day your whole world fell apart. You quit your job, stopped taking care of yourself, and stopped seeing your friends and family. Those around you grew worried, but there was nothing they could do. They couldn’t get you to eat, bathe, or even open the door to your shared apartment. 

2 years have passed and you have managed to move on. Now you have a new amazing job that you love and some new friends that you care for and know that they care for you as well. You moved out of the two bedroom apartment you once shared with your past lover, and moved into a one bedroom apartment that you absolutely adore. You decorated it to be somewhat like your dream apartment. You’ve got bookshelves lining a whole wall, the bookshelves filled with all of your favorite books and some memorabilia you’ve gathered from traveling and from sharing memories with friends and family. The rest of your walls are filled with posters and pictures of things from your interests to friends and family. 

After all this time, you still fear that if you put yourself out there, that people will start leaving you again. You truly don't think you can go through the heart break again. You’ve closed yourself off in some ways. You stopped sharing your interests with people. When asked about your day, you keep it to a minimum. If you saw a rat on the subway on your way to work, you would say so. But you would refrain from talking about how it was the size of your arm and that it was carrying 2 slices of pizza on its back. Something else that you had started doing that you hadn’t noticed was that you started dressing in more bland colors. No more rainbows, sparkles, odd patterns, but more basics in black, white and beige. All the colors and patterns can come off too strongly to some people, better to keep the brightness to a minimum. But you’re happier now. Happier than you were 2 years ago at least.

You now work at the biggest music production company in the country, hoping that one day, you will be able to touch people's hearts with your music and inspire others to follow their dreams, just like you had. One day, as you were on the way to a coffee shop during your break, you saw him. You saw his brown curly hair and his favorite jacket, the one you used to wrap yourself in on cold nights spent with him, walking along the riverside and just talking. He was waiting in line to order his favorite, an iced latte and a slice of banana bread. 

As you stood and stared in the doorway, you saw someone walk up to him and wrap an arm around his waist. She’s blonde and absolutely gorgeous. Probably the most beautiful woman that you’ve ever seen. Whilst you examine the woman, you notice something on the woman's finger. A ring. An engagement ring. Simple, but elegant. 

You debated whether you should leave or stay and pretend you didn’t see anything, as if the scene before you isn’t killing you on the inside. Before you could make your decision, he turned and spotted you. He stared at you from across the room, almost as if he was trying to place where he knew you from. The woman whispers something into his ear and he looks down at his fiance and laughs. 

You stood there, motionless, wondering did he forget me? Is it that easy to forget me? What we had? Or did he just not want to acknowledge me? How could he move on so easily? So quickly?

It was now your turn to order, so you stepped up to the cashier and ordered your usual,  an iced coffee and a cheese danish for yourself, as well as an americano and blueberry muffin for a friend of yours. Once you’d paid, you stepped to the side and waited for them to call your name, indicating that your order was ready. As you waited, you tried your best to not acknowledge him. You didn’t look in his direction and didn’t stand near them. But he kept taking small glances at you. You didn’t understand why he was doing this. Was it to see if you were jealous? If you were still heartbroken? Maybe he was trying to get a rise out of you. 

After some time, your name was called by one of the barista’s so you made your way to the counter and picked up your order, walking out the door as fast as you could. As soon as you stepped out the door, it felt like you could finally take the breath that you didn’t realize you were holding. Taking the first steps back to work, you looked back at him, but he wasn’t looking. Instead, he was pulling the woman, his fiance, close and kissing her, as if he knew you were watching, wanting to make you feel some way. 

As soon as you got back to work, you dropped off the muffin and coffee at your friend's desk. As you were making your way back to your desk, one of your company's clients and a close friend of yours, the one she had bought a muffin for, walked up to you and told you that her boss wished to speak to her. Charles gave her a shy smile as he walked away. You raced to your boss’ office where you were told that you had to write a song for one of your favorite artists. You were told to write a ballad about heartbreak, a song that would make people's hearts sink when they listen to the song. You told her boss that it was no problem, not wanting to be a disappointment. 

Immediately, you got to writing. You sat in one of the small studios in the building and began writing. You wrote down various lyrics as you played various chords on the piano. You worked for hours on end until the sun began to rise again. You hadn’t eaten or slept, but you believed you had written one of her favorite songs yet. It was something you held close to your heart and you prayed it was good enough. 

Once you had finished writing the song, you noticed it was 5 am. You decided to race home quickly to refresh and then come back to the studio to show your boss the song you had just written, to get their input. To say you were nervous was an understatement. As much as you loved your job, you hated having to share your work, for fear it would not be well received. You were afraid that the songs you worked on wouldn't be enough. But you pushed through your doubts, because at the end of the day, if you don't believe in yourself, then no one will. 

You played the song for your boss, and they loved it. They told you to immediately record a demo of it and send it to the client. With that, you got to work. Stepping into one of the studios, you found Charles, the blueberry muffin lover. You immediately raced to him with excitement, telling him about how your boss had loved the song you had written and wanted you to record a demo for it and send it to the client, who just so happened to be your favorite artist.

“That’s amazing, ma cherie! I’m not surprised honestly, you’re an amazing songwriter and musician. It was only a matter of time before your talent was recognized.” he smiled softly at you. 

With the help of a producer, you recorded the demo and had it sent to the client, who absolutely loved it and wanted it to be the first single off their new album. You were ecstatic because not only did you love it, but so did your boss and your favorite artist. Soon after, the client came to the recording studio in the building and started recording the song with your help  and a few producers' help. 

Once you had finished recording the song, the client stood there in silence. You felt like you were melting in that studio, full of people you respect and admire. What if it turned out that the client didn’t like the song anymore? That they didn’t want it anymore? What if they wanted someone else to write a song for them? What if you really weren’t good enough? 

Finally, the client spoke, looking right at you “You know,  I don’t think I’m doing this song justice. I think you should record it, properly, and release it under your name. You’ve got an amazing voice and incredible song writing skills. I don’t think it’s fair of me to take this song from you.” 

You thought you were being messed with but after a few moments, realized that the client was being serious. It took a bit of convincing, but you agreed to release this song under your own name, totally not due to peer pressure. Of course you were shitting bricks at the thought of putting yourself out there as a singer, but it was something you were excited for? For the first time in a long time, you felt like you were on the right path. 

Leading up to the release of your first single, there were countless meetings and dinners with important people. People who had power and influence in the music industry. People that she had only dreamed of working with, never thinking it could be real. So many contracts that had to be signed. You began to doubt whether it was something you were worthy of. All these people were taking a big risk in working with you. What if you turned out to be a waste of time, money, and effort. 

One specific day, while you worked with lawyers and managers on getting your new career started, you stepped out of your office building to take a breather and gather your thoughts. But, as you did, you saw him, Calum Hood. The man who broke with silence all those years ago. He’s standing there with his big brown eyes looking directly at you. The two of you stood there staring at each other, 8 feet apart, not saying a word. 

After what seemed like hours, he walked to you, not breaking eye contact. Your heart started racing, wondering why he’s here, why is he walking towards you. As soon as you were in arm's reach of each other, he handed you an envelope. You reluctantly took it from his hand and saw your name written on the front, in beautiful cursive. 

“It’s an invitation… to my wedding. It’s in a few months and I want you there. I know I kinda left abruptly and you’re probably pissed at me, but I hope between now and the wedding, we can reconnect and be happy for eachother. I mean I’m engaged now and you’re obviously seeing someone.”

You were taken back by this comment, why does he think I’m seeing someone? 

He sees the confusion on your face “At the coffee shop, you ordered two drinks and two pastries. I assumed that you were getting it for your partner.” 

When he said this, you thought shit but you also thought, since he’s moved on, you should pretend that you have too. 

You looked back up at him and said “Yeah, I’m seeing someone. I met him here at work a couple years ago.” 

“Great, I’m glad we could both move on and be happy for eachother. I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite to eat or a coffee sometime. We can catch up and reconnect?” 

You agreed. You were curious as to why he left that day. It has been in the back of your mind for the past 2 years. Why not take this chance to find out? Setting a time and date to meet, you said your goodbyes to each other. 

For the next week, you worked and worked, trying to get your new life in order. PLacing everything where you wanted it to be or where it needed to be. All of this was so new to you and now your ex has been thrown back into the mix. You were actively trying not to drown, clawing at the waves to survive. 

You made your way to the coffee shop you and Calum had agreed to meet at. As soon as You walked in, you saw him sitting at a table in the corner. He smiled and waved you over. You walked over and sat down, noticing that he had already ordered for the both of you. In front of you, on the table, sat your favorite drink, but it was hot. You hated hot drinks. Even when it was freezing outside, you always ordered cold drinks. A pastry sat next to the drink, it was a pastry that you’d never tried. 

“I remember these were your favorites. I’m not sure if they still are but hopefully you still like them.” 

“Yeah, thanks” you said, plastering on a smile. You hated that you still loved him, after all this time. Even after he got your coffee order wrong and claimed it was your favorite. 

The two fo you sat there in silence wondering where to start. 

“So uh, how have you been since… you know” Calum says, giving you a toothy smile. 

“Since you left me out of the blue? Yeah I’m doing pretty good” you said with a laugh, almost masking the pain that still pierces your being. 

He lets out a chuckle

“I’ve got a new job, new apartment, new partner. I guess you could say I’m doing great. How about you?” you asked the man before you. 

“Yeah, I’ve been good. I got a big promotion, new house, and I’m getting married to an amazing woman.” 

When he said this, you felt your heart sink into your stomach. 

“Tell me about her.” you said

“Well, she is a nurse. During her free time, she volunteers at an animal shelter. She’s constantly bringing home stray animals as well, hoping she can find them new homes. One of the things I love about her. She uh, she also loves painting. She’s constantly painting something new. We have about 20 of her paintings around the house.” he says with a smile on his face. “She’s literally the perfect woman. I love everything about her. But enough about me. Tell me about your guy. What’s he like?” 

You panicked when he said this. You don’t have a guy. So you thought of someone you could describe, Charles. 

As you begin speaking, you unconsciously smile “Um, well, he’s a driver, like he drives in Formula 1. We met at work when he was looking for a company that could help him bring his compositions to life. We sort of hit it off from there. He plays the piano like it's no one's business. He can also play the guitar and he’s an amazing musician overall. He’s like a chess genius and one day he ran into the studio and told me about a great idea he had. He wanted to use the sounds of chess pieces hitting the board in a song. I mean it’s not a crazy idea. Billie Eilish used an Australian crosswalk sound for a song. Why can’t we use chess piece sounds?” You laugh when you say this, thinking about how absurd it is that Charles comes up with these ideas just out of the blue. 

You continued “He loves getting up early in the morning and going to watch the sunrise. And he loves cooking. He makes the best pesto dishes. Any dish with pesto, he can make into something you can only dream of eating. You should come over one day and try it.” 

“I’d love to. We should all get together one day and have dinner. My fiance and I and you and your mate.” 

“Yeah, just let me know when you two are free. Charles and I are usually only busy during the day.”

“I’ll check with my fiance but yeah, I’ll let you know. What else have you been up to? Any gossip going around that you can share? I’m sure there’s a ton with the amount of celebrities you work with.”

You hate that he’s asking this. You used to tell him everyday that you did not feel comfortable sharing anything you ever heard at work, as it was not any of your business and you wouldn’t want your business being aired out either. 

“Not so much gossip that I can share but, I am currently in the process of releasing a song.” “Really?” he asks in a doubtful tone. “That’s… amazing! I know how much you wanted to be a big song writer, and now you’re gonna be a big star.”

“I’m not so sure about being a big star.”

“Oh no, believe me, you are gonna go on to play in stadiums and sell out tours, and win awards. Trust me, I know you, and I know how talented and hard working you are. You’re gonna be the biggest star anyones ever seen." His tone makes him seem like he’s being sarcastic. 

You feel your cheeks turn red, not from flattery, but from anger? Embarrassment? He never once said he believed in you when the two of you were together. Never once stated that you were talented. Always changing conversation topics when you would bring up your work. 

“Thank you. I’m really excited for this next step in my life.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’m glad we saw each other that day, and that we can talk now. And again, I’m sorry for leaving abruptly all those years ago. I’m not sure what exactly happened but, I’m sorry. I really am” he says. But, you’re finding it hard to believe him. You don’t think he’s actually sorry for his actions. 

“It’s okay. Things happen. People change and there’s nothing we can do about it. Listen, it’s getting late and I should get going, but let me know when we can all sit down and have dinner.” 

“Yeah of course, take care.”

The two of you  stand up and hug before leaving. As soon as you touch, you remembered what it felt like to be with him. Unconsciously, you sank into his arms immediately, not wanting to let go. For a second, you hoped that time would freeze. That you could be his for even another minute. Maybe there’s a chance he could love you again, like you weren’t hopeless. Maybe you could be enough this time. But eventually, you did part. You two walked out of the shop together and then went different directions. 

As soon as you got home, she panicked thinking I gotta talk to “my guy”. You pick up your phone and text Charles, asking him to meet you in front of her apartment building in an hour. He fortunately agrees without questioning it. 

An hour later, you meet Charles at the front of your apartment building. “Hey, What’s up? Are you okay? Why’d you need to meet so soon?” he says while walking up to you, worry sketched into his face. 

“Well you see, I may or may not have bumped into my ex who is now engaged and then talked to him and now he thinks that I’m also seeing someone when I’m not because I need him to think that I have moved on because he moved on and he invited me to his wedding and he needs to think I’ve moved on and that I’m happy.” “I-. Seems like you’ve gotten yourself in quite the predicament.” he lets out a small laugh. “But why do you need me, specifically?”

“I need you to pretend that we’ve been dating for like a year and maybe, possibly, pretty please, be my date to their wedding.” “Oh.” he laughs “I mean, sure. I’m down to help you out. Let me know what our story is so that I can get into character” he jokes. 

“Really? Are you sure? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know this is a weird request and stuff.” you explain, beginning to regret your decisions and panicking a bit. 

“Yeah. I’m totally down. It actually sounds kind of fun, almost like I’m crashing a wedding but I'm not. I also sort of owe you for all the help at work. I wouldn’t have been able to get some of those projects done so quickly without you.” 

“Oh, yeah that was no problem. But are you really sure you’re okay with helping me with this?”

“Most definitely. Text me the details when you can. We can begin scheming.” he tells you as he begins to walk away.

Before he disappears from view, you shout back a reply “Alright. Thanks Charles, I really appreciate it.” 

As he turned around, you swore you saw his eyes twinkle. 

Once he’d turned a corner, you went back up to your apartment and took a breath and wondered what the hell did I get myself into. 

A month has passed and it’s time for all four of you to have dinner together. You all met at your apartment. Since you've been working every hour of every day, your “partner” arrived at your apartment ahead of time so that he could prepare dinner for everyone. 

Calum and his fiance, Kayla, arrive and you all gather around the table and begin to eat. You all make small talk with each other, starting with whatever is on the news. As time went on, you all began to feel comfortable enough around each other to talk about what’s happening in your lives and how everyone knows each other. As far as Kayla knows, you and Calum were friends a few years back til work got in the way and you just lost touch.

Throughout the whole dinner, Calum tries to steal glances at you, but you don't give in. He tries grazing your leg with his foot but you ignore it. You don't understand why he’s doing this. He’s happily engaged with a new job and new house. 

Charles soon notices how uncomfortable you are and tries his best to subtly comfort and reassure you. Charles pulls your chair a little closer to himself, not realizing that he’s just saved you from having that man touch your leg again. He asks you if you’re okay and you tell him that you’re fine, giving him a smile that he can see right through. 

You all talk and laugh all night until it’s time for Calum and Kayla to go home. The couple say their goodbyes and leave, thanking you and Charles for hosting and cooking. 

Charles stays back and helps you clean for a bit, even after you’d reassured him that you could do it yourself. 

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks you. 

“Yeah, I just- It was just weird, the whole dinner thing.” you try to brush him off. But he doesn’t let up. 

“Don’t lie to me. I could see how visibly uncomfortable you were. Was he doing something to make you uncomfortable?”

“No, he didn’t do anything. Please just drop it. It’s been a long night.” you say, feeling exhausted. 

“Fine. But this conversation isn’t over yet.” he says as he begins to walk out. 

“Thanks.” you call out to him before he can walk out the door. “For helping me and for cooking dinner tonight. I really appreciate it. The pesto was really good. And thanks for checking up on me, you didn’t need to.” you try to put on a smile for him. But he can’t help but see right through it, and knows right now isn’t the time to push you to talk yet. 

He simply nods and tells you “It was no problem. I’m always here if you need anything.” He smiles at you as he walks out the door. 

A few hours later, you're in your apartment, getting ready for bed when all of a sudden, there’s a knock at your door. You walked to the door to see who could possibly be knocking at your door so late at night. You look through the peephole of the door to see Calum. You weren't sure what to do. Not only did you feel exhausted, but you also wanted to know what was going through his head, why was he here? 

Opening the door, you tell him to come in and ask him why he’s back here at your apartment, especially so late at night. 

He looks at you and just says “I love you. I never stopped loving you. I’ve loved you since the first night I met you. I never stopped loving you.” You’re confused and angry. He left you, out of the blue, and immediately got into another relationship. He made you feel small and foolish. He made you feel unlovable. Unworthy. He made you question your worth for so long. You had to fight claws and chains to come back from the depths of darkness that he threw you in. 

You look him in the eyes and ask “Then why did you leave?”

He holds your stare and says “Because I was an idiot. I didn’t know what I wanted.”

“You didn’t know what you wanted? Really? That’s your answer?”

“Well it’s not like it’s entirely my fault that our relationship ended the way it did. I mean, you had as much of a role in our demise as I did.”

“Excuse me?” You can’t believe him and his audacity “Tell me, what the fuck did I do that made our relationship end? Please, tell me. Go on then.”

“Well I mean, for starters, you were always talking about yourself. You know what, no, you just were always talking. Nonstop. It’s like you couldn’t stand the fucking silence or letting someone else talk. Like who cares if you saw a rat on the subway. It’s New York City for fucks sake. That shit happens everyday.”

“What else?” you asked, trying to keep the tears from falling. 

“You are always so full of yourself. You really think you’re talented? You really think you can amount to something? You write songs. Woo fucking hoo, congratulations. Millions of people can do that, it doesn’t make you special. Just because you got given this new career, doesn’t mean shit. Talentless people make and release music all the time. It doesn’t mean shit. When are you gonna realize that you don’t matter. That people aren’t going to love you like I do.”

“Stop spewing that shit at me. You have no right to say that.”

“No, I have every right considering I wasted so many years on you.”

Eventually, you lost it. Tears were streaming down your face and you stopped holding back.

“I was a fool for loving you and thinking you loved me too. I did everything for you. Everything I did was all for you. But it didn’t mean shit to you. You kept me waiting for your love for years. And I acted like it was fine, like I was fine. I thought maybe someday you’d come around and that it would be something we laughed about when we were older. But I finally learned my lesson. I was naive and foolish to think you could ever love anyone but yourself.”

“Stop with the theatrics for god's sake. All you needed to do when we were together was give me space and be chill and hold your fucking tongue. I’m trying to give you a chance with me again. Just take me back and we can pretend this never happened. You can have a purpose in life again.”

You stare at him not knowing what to say or do, feeling trapped. You can’t believe this man, coming into your home and saying that shit. You can’t believe that at one point in time, you loved him. 

“Go.” you tell him. 

“What the fuck are you saying.”

“Go, get out. Get out of my fucking apartment, I never want to see you again.” You yelled as you pointed towards the door. He looked at you in disbelief “I walk out that door, then this is over for good.” He gestured between you two, “You won’t get another chance.”

“Leave. I don’t need you or your stupid ego.”

“Fine, just remember that you did this to yourself. Have fun spending the rest of your life alone and unsuccessful. No one in hell will be stupid enough to love you, at least not like I did.” 

He walked out of the apartment as you slammed the door shut. 

You had a lot of regrets in your life. But your biggest regret was him. You regretted putting him on such a pedestal. For treating him like he was the sun. For years, you watched him as he tolerated you. You were such a fool for him. You waited patiently, but you were never enough for him. You don’t think anyone will ever be enough for him. 

The whole time he spoke and bashed you, you thought that maybe he’ll never be satisfied. He could have the perfect life with a perfect house and perfect wife and perfect family. But at the end of the day, he will always want more. 

After years of doubting yourself, putting yourself down and believing every word he ever said to you about you, you’re finally at a place where you can confidently say that someday, you will be everything to somebody else. This person will think you’re so exciting. This person will never cease to amaze you. This person will always love hearing you talk, hearing you laugh, wanting to bottle up the sound so that he can listen to it whenever he wants. 

Your first single made it to the top 10 on the charts. YOur schedule was booked full with interviews from various magazines and entertainment channels. Everyone kept asking you “When’s the album coming out?” “Who's the song about?” “Is there a potential love interest in your life right now?” “This man claims the song was written about him, is it true?”. Millions of questions, some that you refused to answer. 

Your first few months of fame were chaotic to say the least. The only time you felt at peace and like you could be yourself was when you were in the studio where you first wrote the song. Oftentimes, you would sit in that studio and just sit in silence, savoring the calm. As you were about to close your eyes and take a little nap, you heard a knock on the door. You call out to the person behind the door stating that they could come in. The door opened and you saw that it was your “partner”. You smiled as Charles walked in, taking a seat next to you. 

“So, how’s fame treating you?”

“It’s pretty tiring if I’m honest.” you laughed.

“It looks tiring.” he laughs with you, “Why are you here alone? Shouldn’t you be mingling with the big names right now? You know, out partying and stuff.”

“Not my kind of thing. How are things with you? What have you been up to?”

“Just the same old stuff. The only difference is that my projects are getting out slower now that my writing partner is big and famous.” he says jokingly. 

“Writing partner? Really? Since when did I get promoted to your “writing partner”?”

“I’m only joking. But yeah, it’s not the same around here without you, cherie.” he smiles softly at you “I never got to check up on you after that dinner. Are you okay?”

“Well I mean, I’m as okay as I can be. No one really teaches you what to do when a “good man” hurts you, so.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that. He seems like an ass. ”

“You only met him once.” you stated, letting out a small laugh. You continue “Yeah, you know what’s crazy? He came back to my apartment a few hours after dinner.” “Why? What did he want?” 

“He just asked for me to take him back, and when I said no, he told me it wasn’t just his fault that we ended the way we did. He said it was also my fault. He also said some other fucked up shit but, it doesn’t matter. He was right.”

“Whatever he said, that night, don’t believe him. You guys ended because he’s a dick, not because of anything you did.”

“You don’t know what happened.”

“No, I don’t. But I do know you. I know you, ma belle. You are a talented songwriter. You are a hardworking person with so much fire and passion. You are someone who never gives up. Someone who will put others before herself. Someone who is unstoppable. Someone who loves unconditionally and is also unconditionally loved. Someone who remembers everyone's favorite order at the coffee shop so that no one feels left out. Someone that people look up to and admire. You are worthy of all the good in the world. I know who you are. ” You look at him, wondering if you really are worth it. 

But you simply replied “Thank you.”

When you’re left with your own thoughts, you start to wonder, would you be able to sail through the changing ocean tides? Maybe. Would she be able to handle the seasons of your life? Maybe. 

All you know is that you’ll always believe in yourself. Believe that there are people who love you. That supports you. That appreciate you. That see you, for who you truly are. For as long as you live, there will always be people in your corner, even when you don’t think they should be. So, maybe one day you’ll find your person. Maybe one day you’ll build a life with this person. Maybe one day, you will believe it when someone says they love you. 

Maybe one day.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

girl in new york

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k (including lyrics)

Warnings: cheating (not by dean), angst, minor fluff at the end

Summary: After showing up in New York to surprise your boyfriend, you see something that shatters your world to pieces. You call the one person who has always been there for you no matter what monster he’s hunting, your best friend.

Square Filled: “I guess always isn’t forever after all.” (2022) for @spnquotebingo

Author’s Note: this is based on the song girl in new york by Nessa Barrett

x

Bags in your hand as you kiss me Tellin' me you're gonna miss me Promise you'll be on your best behavior Give me your flight information Call when you land, say you made it Sweet little me told you, "Go have a good time"

You follow your boyfriend to the car he called for to drive him to the airport. He hauls his bags into the trunk while you wait next to the car with a sweet smile on your face.

“Have everything you need?”

“Always, baby,” he smiles.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come? Your friends love me, and I won’t even get in the way. We’ve never been apart for more than a few days.”

“Y/N, you’ll survive without me for two weeks. Trust me, everything will be fine.” He closes the trunk and walks over to you. “You have nothing to worry about.”

Nothing to worry about. You trust him, it’s his friends you don’t trust. They’re a bad influence on him. At least two of his friends are notorious cheaters, and two others are known for partying. Maybe you should make him promise to be on his behavior, but that would only start yet another fight. He hates it when you imply that he’d cheat on you despite him being such a sweetheart to you.

“Okay. I’ll miss you.”

He leans in and kisses you but keeps it short. “I’ll miss you. I already texted you my flight information.”

He gets into the car but keeps the back window rolled down so you can still talk to him.

“Have a safe flight. Call me when you land. Go have a good time.”

“I will, baby.”

“I love you.”

He doesn’t say it back. His smile is the last thing you see as the car pulls away from the curb. New York. All the way on the other side of the country. Still, if he says there’s nothing to worry about, then there isn’t anything to worry about. You turn and head back into the house, wondering what you’re going to do for two weeks by yourself.

I didn't mean forget about me Ridin' in a yellow taxi Who the hell are you on your way to?

The first week without him was hard, so hard that you wanted to fly up to New York yourself to surprise him. You’re not one of those clingy girlfriends who wants to be with their boyfriends twenty-four-seven, but there’s a nagging feeling in your stomach. A feeling you can’t put a name to. Something is gnawing at your insides and the last time you ignored this feeling, your ex-boyfriend was planning your murder.

Not that you think he’d murder you, but you just need to see for yourself that everything is okay. You’ll only stay a day and give him the rest of the time to his friends.

New York is so much different than California. You’re used to busy cities but there’s something about JFK that’s crowding. Your boyfriend sent you his hotel information just in case you needed to reach him, so you know exactly where you’re going.

You drag your small suitcase outside and look around the pickup area. People bustle by you to reach their cars or their family members while you’re standing there with a confused look on your face. You’re no stranger to public transportation, but you hate crowds. Your social anxiety is worse being in a state you don’t know, so all thought and reasoning goes out the window.

“Excuse me, Miss? Can I help you with something?”

You look to the right and see airport security approaching you.

“Yeah, I just need a taxi or something. Can you help me with that, please?” The officer smiles and steps closer to the curb. He whistles with his fingers at one of the taxis passing by, and the driver pulls off to the side. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No, I got it from here. Thank you.”

The driver steps out to help you with your bag, and you hand it over so he can put it in the trunk. You’re about to get in the back when you hear someone shout behind you.

“Wait! Miss, please!” You turn back to see a beautiful young woman fast walking over to you like she knows you. “I’m sorry. I know we don’t know each other, but I was wondering if we could share a cab? I’ve tried pinning one down, but no one has stopped. I understand if you don’t want me to.”

“No, it’s okay. We girls gotta help each other out, right?”

“Thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver.” She puts her bag next to yours before you both slide into the backseat. “I’m Ainsley.”

“Y/N.”

“Where to, ladies?” the driver asks.

You look down at your phone and read off the address to him. “It’s the Ritz-Carlton Hotel. What about you?”

“You’re not gonna believe it, but same!” The driver pulls out into traffic and starts the drive to the hotel. “Small world.”

“I love your dress.” She’s wearing a simple gold backless dress with spaghetti straps. “Where did you get it?”

“My sister is a seamstress. She made it for me. I can give you her card if you’d like.” Without waiting for an answer, she digs into her purse for the card. “I wanted something that shows off my back. I’m visiting my boyfriend. He doesn’t know I’m coming.”

“That’s exciting. I just flew down from California to see mine. He’s in town visiting his friends. I’ve never been to New York before.”

“I love it here. He’s busy and loud but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. I have an apartment in the city but I stay with my boyfriend when he’s in town.” She smiles at you. “He’s a software developer. He designs websites and works with computers.”

“Really?” The world is getting smaller because that’s what your boyfriend does. “What company does he work for?”

“Eleks.”

Alarm bells are going off inside your head despite your best efforts to ignore him. Ainsley rambles for twenty minutes about how she has so many plans for her and her boyfriend, what an amazing guy he is, and how she thinks he’s gonna propose soon.

“Wait, what? Propose?”

“Yeah. He didn’t say he would, but I think this could be the weekend.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how long have you two been together?”

“Five years.” Your blood runs cold at the number. Something in your brain is telling you to run and never look back. Why? Who the hell is this woman? The driver reaches the Ritz-Carlton, and you two split the bill evenly. “Thanks so much for letting me hijack your taxi.”

“No problem.” The driver opens the trunk and hands over the suitcases. Ainsley turns to head inside when you stop him. “Wait, what’s your boyfriend’s name?”

“Oliver.”

Ainsley turns and heads inside the hotel while you’re frozen stuck on the sidewalk. Oliver is your boyfriend’s name.

I know there's always temptation Guess I'm a little more patient Baby, I've been on my best behavior Fuck you for makin' me crazy While you buy her drinks out on 8th Street Sweet little you showin' her such a good time

Instead of going inside the hotel, you sat on a bench across the street and watched the door. If you’re going to confirm your suspicions, you have to see it for yourself. Two hours pass by before he walks out with her, and your entire world shatters before you. It’s like seeing a train heading your way and not being able to get out of the way.

Oliver has his arm wrapped around her shoulders and his face buried in her neck. She giggles and tries to get away but he holds her close. She pulls away slightly only to kiss him, and that’s when the tears roll down your cheeks. With shaky hands, you take out your phone and call Oliver.

Maybe you’re seeing things. Maybe this man looks like Oliver, has the same job as Oliver, and is named the same, but it’s not him. Maybe everything is still okay. He pulls away from her and reaches into his jacket pocket to pull out his phone. The call goes to voicemail right before he starts typing. Seconds later, a message from him pops up.

Hey, sorry, I have meetings all day. I’ll call you later tonight. Love you.

You have to hold back your sobs because you know damn well he’s in no meeting. There is a strip of restaurants and bars alongside the Ritz, and they walk a few blocks away to one of the best steakhouses in the city. Twenty minutes pass of being stiff and numb before you have enough energy to dial someone.

Whenever he’s in the same city as you, he makes it a point to see you. He has such a busy life with fighting monsters and all, but he always makes time for you even if it’s only for an hour. He said he and his brother were going to be in New York for the week, so you’re hoping he’s not knee-deep in monster guts.

The buttons are hard to see through blurry vision, but you manage to click on his name and call. It takes three rings for him to answer.

“Hey, sweetheart. Isn’t it late in California?”

“You’re three hours ahead of me, so that would make it really late for you,” you sniffle.

Dean knows you so well. He knows something is wrong even though you tried to even your voice.

“What’s wrong?”

The resolve quickly crumbles, and you break down in tears. “He’s cheating on me. I’m in New York now. I wanted to surprise him, but he’s seeing someone else here.”

“Where are you?”

“Outside the Ritz-Carlton.”

He doesn’t hesitate. “I’m on my way. Stay right there.”

You can’t move even if you wanted to. It starts lightly raining but it’s enough to send shivers down your spine. You’re looking down at your shoes, the ones you just bought for this trip. The city is buzzing with life so you don’t hear the Impala coast down the street. He stops right in front of you and gets out, rain be damned.

“Sweethart,” he whispers.

You look up at him with mascara running down your cheeks. “Am I not good enough?”

“Come on, let’s get you out of the rain.”

Dean helps you into the passenger seat and gets behind the wheel.

“Sorry for getting your seat wet.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Dean stays parked by the curb and pulls you into his arms. The second you feel his warmth, you start crying. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“I just… I never knew he was living this whole other life. He… He made me feel so special. I wanted to surprise him when I met her,” you cry. “She said they’ve been dating for five years. Is that how long he’s been cheating on me?”

“Sweetheart, you deserve so much better than him.”

You continue on like he didn’t just compliment you. “You should have seen her. She was so pretty.”

Dean reaches over and slides your wet hair away from your eyes. “You’re prettier.”

“I guess always isn’t forever after all,” you whisper.

“Where is he?”

“He and Ainsley went into the steakhouse across the street. They haven’t left.”

“Okay, come on.”

Dean gets out of the car and walks over to your side. You get out and look at him in confusion.

“Where are we going?”

“To show him what he lost.”

You don’t want to be alone so you have no choice but to follow him across the street.

You said I was yours Maybe just on the West Coast 'Cause as soon as you left home You got wanderin' eyes So I guess you lied When you said I was special You're not as smart as you think you are Baby, I know about the girl in New York

Dean storms into the restaurant and immediately spots Oliver and Ainsley in the corner. Luckily for him, it’s not a crowded corner. Not that he’d care if the place was crawling with people. He does not get to get away with hurting you like this.

“Dean, we should just go. He’s not worth it,” you whimper.

“Hi, do you have a reservation?” the hostess asks. Dean ignores her and walks further into the restaurant. “Sir?”

Oliver raises his glass to toast something, but the moment is short-lived. Dean reaches over and snatches the drink out of Oliver’s hand.

“Hey, man, what the--” Oliver’s eyes lock with yours and the breath is knocked out of his lungs. “Y/N, what are you doing here?”

“Don’t look at her. Look at me. You don’t get to talk to her. You’re done.”

“What’s going on?” Ainsley asks.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on. This piece of shit is dating her,” Dean points to you without taking his eyes off Oliver. “Has been for seven years. Based on the look on your face, I’m assuming you didn't know about her the same way she didn’t know about you.”

“Dean, we should go, please,” you urge.

Dean leans down and grips the back of Oliver’s chair. The latter leans back and can’t help but show the fear in his eyes.

“The only reason I’m not beating your ass is because she doesn’t want me to. You honestly think you can find someone better than her? She’s smart and beautiful and amazing. I bet you don’t know a single thing about making her happy. Did you know she hates pickles? I always have to take hers off her sandwich before I give it to her so she doesn’t know they were ever there. Did you know she’s allergic to strawberries? I never order anything with strawberries in case she wants a bite.

“She likes bedazzling her things. She likes rainbows and sunshine. Did you know she wants a huge farm with lots of animals because she loves them? You might have been with her for seven years but you don’t know her, not when you’re spending all your time with her. If you don’t want to be in a relationship, at least man up and end it instead of cheating. You two are done. Have fun with her all you want.”

With that, Dean turns and leads you out of the restaurant. You look back to see Ainsley almost in tears. You hate that she also had to suffer because she did nothing wrong. The rain is falling harder so you and Dean sprint back to his car, and you look at him as he wipes the water from his eyes.

“Did you mean everything you said?” you ask in a small voice.

Dean starts the car, but he doesn’t pull into traffic. “I never knew why you were with him, but I kept my mouth shut because you seemed happy. Now that I know you’re not… Baby, I can make you so much happier.”

“What?” you whisper.

“Don’t freak out. That’s a conversation for a different day. I need your head clear and right now, it’s messy so I’ll just settle for being your friend.”

“Dean…”

Dean perks up and moves the conversation along as if he didn’t just bare his feelings on his sleeve. “When I was leaving, Sam got the Switch hooked up to the TV at our hotel. How about you come over and we can play some Mario Kart.”

A smile spreads across your face, and you lean your elbow on the back of the seat.

“That’s my favorite game.”

“I know,” he winks before pulling out into traffic.

x

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[manjiroscum]

divine, isn't she?

warnings: f!reader x sylus, mc reader, plot with smut, creampie, sylus' thoughts most of the time, word vomit if you must. Minors do not interact.

note: happy birthday sylus ��� made this short and sweet bc life is a bish and it has been long so i apologize if it isn't great 😩 anyways, hope you enjoy 💖

Paradise was her lips each time he tasted her sweetness melding with his. Delicious. Intoxicating. Absolute heaven in the palm of his hands. A piece of bliss.

Sylus didn't believe in gods. Their very existence was abhorrent; only fools would readily concede everything to these unseen beings for a glimpse of eternal bliss. However, if these deities had done one thing right, it would be her.

For malicious entities couldn't craft such a beautiful soul that called out to him, ensnaring his gaze and being. Forever to stay, never to wander away from yours. Wherever you went, he had to be there no matter what form he had to take on. Whether it was from a distance or nearby, he was already content by just getting a glimpse of you. Enough to keep him going. The very thought of sharing the same air was all he needed.

And if you so wished for him to disappear, he would do so in a heartbeat. Plunge the tip of the blade into his chest himself if that was what you required. No questions asked. No strings attached. If his death was required to protect you, then so be it. But if others had the audacity to poke or be serenaded by the idea of laying a finger on you, they would be fools to think he wouldn't act. What were the lives of meaningless fodder compared to you, his form of salvation in this desolate world meant to ruthlessly take what he called his?

“Sylus?”

Much to his surprise—and delight—you were quite simple to please. Always finding ways to spend time with him without outright saying so. This game of push and pull brought out your hidden sides. It was an honor to see you be yourself with him, as if seeing fragments of your soul unseen by anyone else. Only him.

The temptation to believe the fates had doomed your souls dissipated under your unrelenting gentle caress or the unforgiving nails digging into his back as a reward for his obedience to your breathy requests. A freedom of yours that he had always admired and willing to keep from being shattered. It was his wish when he blew the candles earlier, marking his first celebrated birth. Gracious he was, Sylus was far more intrigued to learn you had more in store for the celebration as the night rolled in.

“I'm here, sweetie.”

Leftovers of the cake sat on the kitchen counter. The icing’s flavor lingered on both of your lips as they tasted one another. He was right. It was delicious, adding to the testament you never failed in anything you put your heart into making.

Discarded clothing was laid strewn on the floor from the moment both of you exited the elevator. The ride was filled with heated stares, stolen kisses, and teasing caresses. The silence that enveloped the penthouse broke from the noise of each other’s intake of breath and murmured provocations. The softness of your skin and his rough palms reignited the fire slowly simmering between you two on the ride back to his place to an all time high. Normally, he would take his time prodding the places he deemed to be your most sensitive spots until you were a mess. Now? He was quite ravenous.

Despite the popular belief of his desire for absolute control deemed to be the truth in his domain, there was no ounce of hesitation to surrender such a thing when it came to you. Willingly and wholeheartedly. How could he not? It was a delight to watch you take the reins and leave your mark on him. Proudly showing it to anyone who gave a second glance.

You were in the height of ecstasy against him, pressing your chest to his each time your back arched. His name leaves those soft lips reverently like a prayer. Your soft cries for more fueling his conquest to hear it forever and see you come undone. The sweetness dripping from your glistening folds was caused by him—solely him. A rumble of satisfaction rose from his throat at the feeling of it, especially the way you clenched and begged for that gratifying release. Seeing you trying to hide from his piercing gaze, the corners of his lips quirked up as he gently melded your hands together, preventing you from covering any part of your face.

“Don’t try and hide. Show me everything.”

Each of his thrusts brought you closer to the edge you both sought, albeit he was more inclined to witness yours before achieving his. Your glassy eyes were shut, focusing on the feeling of him. Quivering, your breathless pleas morphed into hurried ones as you were close. Inch by inch, Sylus made sure you felt everything he had to offer. A way to give back for your efforts in making his day such joy. And when you made the offer of him coming inside, who was he to deny?

“Inside. D-do it…”

He never lost his patience nor his restraint. He would rather hurt himself than inflict anything unpleasant on you. Faced with such a wish, Sylus could almost hear that thread snap into two. You certainly knew how to keep him on his toes. A low chuckle emerged from his lips to which he met with yours after your whispered plea. But he didn't falter in fulfilling it. He relished in it.

“As you wish, my lady.”

Biting your nipple, Sylus buried his cock deep into your awaiting walls and came with a groan. His ears took in your moans, replaying them again and again in his mind. You felt him throb inside you as he emptied his load that seemed endless. His muttered words of gratitude echoed into your ear even as he carried you to the bathroom to clean you up. The lines you carved into his back as you reached your climax served as a reminder of the night that ended with soft kisses and a promise for tomorrow’s daylight.

[nightscythe]

The Curze intoxication thing from the taboo kinks post still lives rent free in my mind, I think it’d be interesting to flip it so Curze can have a chance to relax for once, no visions or looming future just him having a grand old time.

Half way through he’d probably starts babbling about all the things he couldn’t before as they suddenly spring to mind, like how much he adores his beloved and wants them to stay a part of him forever, how much he wishes he could love his sons (or how he does love some of them in spite of everything in the case of Sevatar). Then towards the end he quietly admits that sometimes he wishes he could change the future

Of course when it’s all said and done he decides he never wants to do it again, not because he disliked it but because allowing any doubt in his visions to fester upsets him in way he can’t explain.

-💜

;; you’re right, he deserves some down time. all those feelings he wants to say but can never bring himself to during the day.. makes me feel very soft. this idea is all on you!! ‎ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

soft curze // you somehow convinced curze to try something guaranteed to make him as close to drunk as a primarch can be…

you’re sat on the floor, cross legged with a pillow on your lap. curze has his head rested on the pillow, he’s staring up at the ceiling without the usual complicated thoughts on his mind.

he’s quiet, which is typical, but it’s not the same silence that usually occurs around him. there’s no threat of prophecy and the future he so badly didn’t want to see always showing when he least wanted it.

“i adore you. i really do.”

you hear him laugh first. it’s quiet, then it’s not. nothing bitter in his tone, just a genuinely happy tone that makes you smile as it continues.

“i’d do anything i could if it meant i could stay with you.”

it seemed the alcohol had set in.

“do you think about what might happen?” he asks you, detached from a reality in a way you haven’t quite seen before. he looks up to you as your fingers just skim his hairline. “do you think about what’s inevitable, and what we may be able to control?”

he smiles, leaning into your touch. his cheeks are blushed, his lips a deep red. you can’t disguise the surprise well enough. “what do you mean?”

“you’re here with me.” he flails his arms to gesture the room around him. “was this moment by chance, or by fate?”

you can only shrug.

“it’s like a dream,” he continues. he lets his eyes fall shut and sink into the feeling of you smoothing over his hair. “i’m afraid that if i think of it too much, it will all slip away. i’ll wake up from my own consciousness and everything that makes me want to continue will fall apart.”

he looks up to you again.

“you’ll leave me. everyone will leave me. i won’t feel a break from the pain any longer.”

your lips part as though you want to answer, but he shakes his head. he turns to the side, not allowing you to nestle into his insecurities, reaching for the glass on the floor that contained more of the bitter liquid which started this all in the first place.

“i won’t love anyone more than you,” he tells you. “not in any other lifetime.”

he smiles fondly as he downs another mouthful. a trickle falls from his lips which he wipes away with the back of his hand. he sits up fully now, so he’s parallel to you.

“i still don’t understand it. how we met, how we managed…” he gestures around him again, “…this.”

the glass is placed back down to the ground carefully. in his eyes, the depth of a thousand words he’d never speak when sobriety befell him. he’s warm. he’s glowing.

“i wasn’t built for love. i wasn’t built for anything but justice and war. yet, i’m allowed moments like this with you, and i’ll cherish them for the rest of time.” he exhales deeply as he meets your gaze. leans forward ever so slightly each second, closing the distance. “i sometimes wonder why i try to continue. i’m reminded of what it’s like to be apart from you, in distance alone, and i realise that i could never be without you.”

a slight panic glints in his eye. he shakes his head, recoiling like he’d set something wrong in the hands of time.

“i don’t mean that you can’t leave me. you can. you… can make that choice.” he hums as he slouches. “it would be hard. too hard, perhaps. but you’re still there. that’s what matters. even if we are apart. but, you haven’t left. not yet, maybe, but you’re still here. and it makes me think, believe, you won’t ever leave.”

“i won’t.”

he smiles behind his grimace. he wants to trust you. so, for just one night, he lets himself. “i believe you.”

it’s quiet for another moment. his smile is gone, but otherwise he’s still the same. still absorbed in his own thoughts rather than what was dictated to him.

“it feels strange. others also make me feel lucky, you know.”

you tilt your head gently to the side. “others?”

“my sons.” he rolls his eyes as he huffs a laugh. “a few of them, at least. some are noble, some are more than others could pretend to be. i wish that i was given a chance to find some form of attachment to them. love, even.”

his eyes shift beyond you.

“perhaps for some i do. sevatar, for example. he is a bastard. but… i care. it may not be love, but it’s something close.” his eyes fall on you again. “he must never know i said that. he will become weak.”

you can’t help the frown. “he’s weak for knowing you love him? what does that make me, then?”

“it is not the same love i feel.”

“i feel like that was implied.” you lean forward and reach for his hand, fingers running down the back of his hand. “knowing you love me doesn’t make me weak. it makes me feel safe. protected. fulfilled, even. maybe telling him would help.”

he pauses, considering your suggestion. his decision is laced with hesitation. “it wouldn’t change the future.”

“don’t speak of that for now.” you lace your fingers with his. “i know you wish to change it, but tonight, you don’t know what future will come true.”

he nods once. glances down to your hand intertwined with his. keeps them loked, tight as though he’d never feel your touch again if he let go, whilst moving back to lay with his head on the pillow. lets his thoughts settle for a moment.

they’d never be silent, but this was close enough.

meanwhile, you keep the secret of seeing sev’s face completely expressionless as he stares into the room from the hallway, never seen by the dulled senses of his primarch.

you both agree to never speak of it again.

for curze’s sake, of course.

[ambriolett02]

Hello! Im new at reading "The Skeetons' Castle" And I wanted to know... will there be fluff and/or a reverse harem with the skeletons? Love your work already!! <3

OMGONG My first question about TSC I’m so excited, thank you so much for reading it I’m incredibly honored OK SO-

Short answer yes there will absolutely be fluff and this is a building harem Reader gotta work hard for!

Long answer~~~

cause I just wanna word vomit a minute about the madness, but I really wanted a reverse harem dating sim setting where the skeletons really don’t want reader at first. Idk what it is but I feel like sometimes it happens really quickly and I’m gonna drag it out cause I want the tentalizing satisfaction of things FINALLY being deep and intimate through a lot of shared experiences and the world to be going on around reader without reader necessarily being the center, but she is the catalyst for a lot of the things going on! We even have Jade behind the scenes doing things that effects Reader without her directly knowing or finding out until later, but we will find out as time goes on because she’s a main character too ;D

Also there is alot of skeletons for this so it does feel like forever but I have to have the pining, the drama, the different kinds of relationships that will develop from the different plots because these are yandere skeletons that are jealous and murderous- they ain’t gonna wanna share, so I gotta build the premise where they will accept it, but Reader will have all sorts of relationships until the romantic goal is met (fluffy, transactional, toxic, parasitic, passionate, they’re all different skeletons with different love patterns I want to explore). Even in the original concept of TSC as a dating sim, the player ended up with one character at the end, so changing this mechanic is complicated but it will happen cause I’m making it happen >:D

So what about the pretty early NSFW interactions? The game setting was made for NSFW actions and mature ratings, so the decisions that are leading to more of those kind of interactions that plague Y/N are because they’re programmed that way, but the longer reader stays, the more the game unravels into a whole universe with characters who will develop as well as they gain more sentience and independent thoughts.

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK, I hope you continue enjoying this journey with Reader into a huge world of adventure with many complicated elements~💜💜💜🫶🏻🫶🏻

[pleaseletmeinibeg453]

Jelsa oneshots inspired by songs

First love/Late spring by Mitski

Jelsa, oneshot, modern AU (Breathing/Collapsing)

--- Wild women don’t get the blues But I find that  Lately, I’ve been crying like a tall child

---

Anyone who knew Jack Frost didn't associate the word ‘soft’ with him. 

But he was.

He knew he was too soft for this.

Too soft to love her. Too soft to leave her. Too soft to survive the way she looked at him, eyes wide with unspoken sorrow, asking him—begging him—not to stay. She was lying, over and over again, and even though those lies slipped past her lips, her eyes were begging him to stay. To love her. What was he supposed to believe? What was he supposed to do?

Elsa was late spring.

And the first woman he loved so deeply.

It was the kind of love that bloomed far too early, like spring forcing itself through the frozen earth before it was ready, before the ground had softened enough to cradle its roots. The world around them was still so cold, so unforgiving, and he hadn’t yet grown into himself to protect it, to protect her. He wasn’t strong enough for how he loved her, not in the way she deserved.

Like some hidden part of him—tucked away under years of damage and inevitable decisions—had quietly reshaped itself just to make room for her. And now, it hurt to breathe without her.

And now he was crying, towering over her, wild and broken, unable to stop the avalanche of fear crashing through him. What was he supposed to do without her? She had been the first real thing in his life that made him feel anything and everything. Without her, how would he breathe?

It wasn’t the love he feared—he could never fear that, not when it had stitched itself so deeply into the marrow of his bones, not when it had carved itself into every tender fold of his heart. No, it was the letting go that ripped him apart. 

Don’t. Please.

Please don’t say you love me. 

So he hadn’t.

Her voice, when she said it, had trembled like autumn leaves caught in a storm. The kind of voice that shattered something inside him every time she spoke it, like she was handing him pieces of herself to hold for safekeeping, knowing the moment would come when she had to walk away. For him. For him to live. To not be tainted by the mess they had made together.

But how was he supposed to stand and watch her walk away? Was he not supposed to reach out and take her hand? Was he not supposed to ever think of her again?

Just one word from her. It would be enough. Don’t. 

He held it in. Held her in. He pressed his goodbye into her mouth with a kiss that tasted like salt and desperation. Like he could somehow keep her warmth a little longer, wrap it around himself, and pretend he didn’t feel the ache inside his ribs where her heart used to be.

And then, when she fell asleep in his arms, he did what she asked. He let her go.

All she had to do was say “Don’t,”—just that, one word—and he would’ve come undone. He would’ve dropped every promise he made to anyone, everyone, and he would give her the future she deserved.

He would’ve turned around. Fallen to his knees. Crawled back to her with nothing but her name on his lips and his heart full of love. 

She didn’t even need to mean it. She just had to say it. Just whisper “Don’t.”

And he would’ve stayed.

He would’ve burned the world down for the chance to pretend they could still belong to each other.

But then, she didn’t. She wanted him to leave.

胸がはち切れそうで

He did it for her. Because he loved her enough to let her walk into a future that didn’t make her sad. Maybe he wouldn’t have to wait forever to come back to her. Maybe fate would be kind and give him another chance to make it right, to show her that he could be everything she needed him to be.

He did it because he saw the pain bleeding out of her eyes when she asked him to leave. She just looked at him with those eyes, full of sorrow and love and fear all tangled together, and he knew—he knew—she was breaking her own heart to save his.

But he was sure his was breaking beyond saving.

Because she would heal—he believed that, even if it shattered him to think of her moving on, smiling again, learning how to breathe without him. She would survive. Strength was always her strong suit..

But Jack wouldn't. He wasn't made for this kind of loss.

But for now, he was left standing alone in the spring, the wind biting at his skin, and he had nothing but the silence of her absence. And all he could do was hope—pray, even—that someday she would come back to him.

---

Please, hurry, leave me, I can’t breathe.

---

[thejohnlockedfemboy]

I finished my original hymn to Ganymede!

I was possessed by the Muses or something at 5 am this morning, idk. It was inspired by "Dionysus" by Tomo. I doubt it's very good, bu I had to get it out of my head :3

Eromenos Ganymede

never had a choice,,

When the eagle snatched him, struggling,,

up into the skies

Cupbearer to replace Hebe,

but only to the king,,

Mighty Zeus,,

Lord of Olympians,,

destruction he does bring.

Did you want this,

Ganymede?

when he took you from your home.

Stripped you helpless from your father,,

of your fate did you bemoan?

Most beautiful of all the mortals,,

a son born to Dardania’s king

Raised tending sheep on Idas’ slopes,,

but destined for much greater things

Phrygian cap upon golden curls,,

skin like ivory, smooth as milk,,

Tongue dripping words as sweet as honey,

changed, now resembling the godly ilk.

A position ever-kneeling,,

krater clutched in one slender hand,,

Mixing wine with gold ambrosia

eternally bound to one ruling man.

His lovely face will never wrinkle,,

his youth will never fade,,

Eyes stay bright despite the sorrow

crushed under a tyrant’s weight.

An insult to the goddess Hera

on ambrosia and false love fed,,

Discarded when erastes became tired,,

of the body warming his bed

Ever moving to greener pastures

always searching for a handsomer face,,

Left Ganymede in his palace,,

unable to do anything but wait

Did you want this,

Ganymede?

as the days bleed into years,,

Head is spinning like a pendulum,,

can you see your future clear?

Once a prince and now a prisoner

clutched in son of Cronos’ fist,,

Does he still come to you in the darkness,,

spreading thighs to take what's not his?

Does his touch burn you,

Ganymede?

Do you feel a flame within?

Is that fire one of pleasure,,

Or hatred of Aegiduchos’ whims?

When the centuries turn to aeons

And humanity crumbles to ash,,

Will the thunder-bringer still command you,,

or will you finally rise up and fight back?

I stand beside you,

Ganymede.

the brother that I never had

I’ll whisper secrets to you without fear,,

prove you’re more than just Zeus’ fad.

My heart walks with you,

Ganymede.

Ignore the leering of the throne

Hold your head high and do not falter,,

for you will never be alone.

I raise worship to you,

Ganymede

In thin-voiced lyrics sung from heart,,

Shallow compared to immortal voices,,

a pale imitation of divine art

I beg your patronage,

Ganymede

Hold my hand into adulthood,,

For you are forever adolescent,,

but I’m forced to become what you never could

Will you forget me,

Ganymede?

When into Underworld I descend,,

Single coin for ferry passage

Could the rules for me you bend?

I cannot ask you,

Ganymede

For anything more than lending your ears,,

So I might perhaps bring you some comfort,,

to help you blink back righteous tears

Don’t let him break you,

Ganymede

give no satisfaction to an egoist’s ploys,,

For you were royal in divination,,

back when you were a mortal boy

You had flesh like me,

Ganymede

We shared the same beating pulse,,

and yet now you are so different,,

but your humanity is not lost

Never forget who you were,

Ganymede

Know that what I say is true,,

I swear it by the Styx’s waters,,

that there are those who do love you.

note: this is NOT a song bashing Zeus, this is merely one interpretation of the mythos and is not meant to be a personal attack on any worshippers of the king of the gods ⚡🪽🍷

@pubbipawz @chronophobiaclown @defronix :3 what do you think?

[seitmai]

Many thoughts

He looks younger in sleep, vulnerable in a way that makes your chest hurt. You almost reconsider, almost crawl back into that warm bed.

I 100% would crawl back

 His scent still clings to your skin. You try not to think about how right it felt in his arms, how for the first time since everything fell apart, you'd slept without nightmares. 

🥺🥺🥺

"I can smell you, you know," he calls, closer now. "Your scent's all over me, all over my bed. Did you think I wouldn't notice the second you left?"  Leaves crunch under heavy boots. He's tracking you, following your scent trail with the precision only an alpha can manage.  "You're scared," he says, voice gentler now. "I get it. But running away isn't going to keep either of us safe."

Now that he knows her smell I won't forget it

"I woke up alone," he says, and there's raw hurt in his voice now. "After everything we shared. After you finally trusted me enough to stay the night. Do you know what that felt like?" Something in you breaks. Maybe it's the gentleness in his voice, or the memory of his body against yours, or just the bone-deep exhaustion of surviving alone for so long. You want to step out from behind the tree.

🥺🥺🥺

"I'm not asking for forever, omega. I'm just asking for today. And maybe tomorrow." His footsteps have stopped. He's giving you space, you realize. "Your choice. Always your choice."

Urgh he just wants to be with her, even for a day 🥹

Your fingers skim over your neck. He didn’t mark you or claim you last night. There had been a moment when he scented you between kisses, and you had seized up, and he had been so in tune with you, registered your reticence, and whispered that he could wait. Truthfully, that had been what had made you feel safe enough to stay the night with him. 

He is so dreamy 🥹🥰

"I don't know how to do this," you admit, your voice small in the vastness of the forest. "Before everything I knew how to let people in - I was good at letting people in. But then I lost everyone. Now, it feels impossible." "We're all figuring it out as we go, 'mega. There's no guidebook for the end of the world."

They will figure it out together 🥹

"Because I'll want to stay," you admit, the truth spilling out before you can stop it. "And I can't afford to want things anymore." He drops his hand, eyes never leaving yours. "That's exactly why you should come back. We all need something to want in this world."

So true 🥹🥰

"You don't have to decide forever right now," Ari says, his voice gentler. "Just come back for breakfast. I have coffee."

Well that would have swayed me if I wasn't already convinced lol

 "I need to be alone," you say, but the words sound hollow even to your own ears.  "No one needs to be alone," Ari replies, his voice soft but firm. "Especially not now." 

I love to be alone but in an apocalypse? I really don't want that lol

You turn quickly before you change your mind, blinking back tears that have no business forming. Behind you, Ari's scent shifts—the warm cinnamon notes turning ashen with grief.

💔💔💔

They already are deeply connected, it truly meant something 🥺

A pain lances through your chest. It's not your pain—somehow you know it's his, radiating across the space between you. The sensation is overwhelming, a hollow ache that feels like what you've heard about bond-breaks, though he never claimed you. Your hand instinctively goes to your unmarked neck again. This isn't just heartache. This is something deeper, more primal.You've heard stories of compatible pairs experiencing physical symptoms when separated, but those were just stories—romantic nonsense from before the world fell apart. And even if they were true, such connections took time to form, not a single night of desperate coupling.

If you ever feel up for it, I would love to read more of these two 🤗

Maybe Not

Characters/Pairings: Alpha!Ari Levinson x curvy Female!Reader Word Count: 2k Summary: You've survived in these bleak circumstances for a reason - only trusting yourself. Can that really change after one night with an alpha who's little more than a stranger?

Content/Warnings: omegaverse, feels, angst, apocalyptic setting

Notes: This is a direct sequel to the Alpha Ari drabble I wrote during my Alpha April blitz last year. No one demanded more for this little verse, but also people weren't against potentially having more at the time. And I watched something recently that brought these two back to my mind.

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

The next morning, you bolt. 

You wake before dawn, your body still aching sweetly from the night before. His arm is heavy across your waist, his breathing deep and even. For a moment, you allow yourself to feel safe, to breathe in his scent and memorize the weight of him against you. 

But panic rises in your chest like a tide. This isn't safe. Nothing is safe anymore. 

You carefully extract yourself from his embrace, wincing as the floorboards creak beneath your feet. You gather your clothes, dress quickly in the dim light filtering through the boarded windows. Your backpack is where you dropped it by the door. You check your knife, tuck it into your belt, and take one last look at him. 

He looks younger in sleep, vulnerable in a way that makes your chest hurt. You almost reconsider, almost crawl back into that warm bed. 

You don't even leave a note. It feels safer this way—cleaner. No messy goodbyes, no promises you can't keep. Just the familiar weight of your backpack, the comforting press of your knife against your hip, and the cool morning air on your face as you slip out before sunrise. 

His scent still clings to your skin. You try not to think about how right it felt in his arms, how for the first time since everything fell apart, you'd slept without nightmares. 

"Stupid omega," you mutter to yourself, trudging through the woods that surround his hideout. "Getting attached is how you die." 

But your body betrays you. Every step away from him feels wrong, like you're walking against a current. Your omega instincts scream at you to go back, to nest, to submit to the safety he offers. 

You make it three miles before you hear it—the distant rumble of an engine. His truck. 

You freeze, pressing yourself against the trunk of a massive oak tree, heart pounding in your throat. The rumbling grows louder, then stops. A door slams.

"Omega!" His voice carries through the trees, a mixture of indignation and desperation that makes your skin prickle. "I know you're out here!" 

You hold your breath, pressing a hand over your mouth. Maybe if you stay still enough, he'll give up, drive away, forget about you. 

"I can smell you, you know," he calls, closer now. "Your scent's all over me, all over my bed. Did you think I wouldn't notice the second you left?" 

Leaves crunch under heavy boots. He's tracking you, following your scent trail with the precision only an alpha can manage. 

"You're scared," he says, voice gentler now. "I get it. But running away isn't going to keep either of us safe."

You close your eyes, willing your racing heart to slow. He's right behind the tree now. One step and he'll see you.

"I woke up alone," he says, and there's raw hurt in his voice now. "After everything we shared. After you finally trusted me enough to stay the night. Do you know what that felt like?"

Something in you breaks. Maybe it's the gentleness in his voice, or the memory of his body against yours, or just the bone-deep exhaustion of surviving alone for so long. You want to step out from behind the tree.

But you just can’t. 

"I'm not asking for forever, omega. I'm just asking for today. And maybe tomorrow." His footsteps have stopped. He's giving you space, you realize. "Your choice. Always your choice."

Your fingers skim over your neck. He didn’t mark you or claim you last night. There had been a moment when he scented you between kisses, and you had seized up, and he had been so in tune with you, registered your reticence, and whispered that he could wait. 

Truthfully, that had been what had made you feel safe enough to stay the night with him. 

But you still didn’t know him. 

Slowly, you step out from behind the tree. He's standing two meters away, his golden skin catching the early morning light filtering through the trees. His hair is disheveled, like he ran his hands through it repeatedly in frustration. He's wearing only jeans and a hastily buttoned shirt—he must have dressed in seconds after discovering you gone.

"I don't know how to do this," you admit, your voice small in the vastness of the forest. "Before everything I knew how to let people in - I was good at letting people in. But then I lost everyone. Now, it feels impossible."

"We're all figuring it out as we go, 'mega. There's no guidebook for the end of the world."

You stay rooted to your spot, and so does he. 

"I don't even know your name," you say, your voice hoarser than you expected.

Something like relief washes over his face. "Ari," he says. "My name is Ari."

"Ari," you repeat, testing it on your tongue. You had only called him Alpha last night.

"And yours?" he asks gently.

You hesitate, then give him your name. It feels strange to say it aloud—you haven't introduced yourself to anyone in years. 

Ari takes a hesitant step toward you, hand outstretched. "Come back with me," he says. It's not a command, but a plea, his blue eyes searching yours. "We can figure this out together."

You shake your head, taking a step backward. "No, I can't."

"Why not?" His voice cracks slightly.

"Because I'll want to stay," you admit, the truth spilling out before you can stop it. "And I can't afford to want things anymore."

He drops his hand, eyes never leaving yours. "That's exactly why you should come back. We all need something to want in this world."

You adjust your backpack straps, feeling the familiar weight settle against your shoulders. "The more you have, the more you have to lose."

"We've already lost everything," he counters. "What's left except to try to build something new?" 

A bird calls overhead, breaking the tension. You look up reflexively, old habits from before—when the worst thing you had to worry about was being late for work.

"You don't have to decide forever right now," Ari says, his voice gentler. "Just come back for breakfast. I have coffee." 

Your stomach growls traitorously at the mention of food. You eat enough, but always sparingly, saving rations for as long as possible, never sure when you will no longer be able to find something to scavenge. 

"Coffee?" you repeat, unable to keep the longing from your voice. 

He smiles, and it transforms his face. "Real coffee. Not that instant crap. Found a sealed bag last week." 

The thought of hot, real coffee is almost enough to make you sway on your feet. It's been years since you've tasted it. 

But you can’t. 

"I need to be alone," you say, but the words sound hollow even to your own ears. 

"No one needs to be alone," Ari replies, his voice soft but firm. "Especially not now." 

A twig snaps somewhere in the distance. Both of you freeze, instincts honed by years of survival kicking in. Ari moves closer to you, protective even now, his body angled between you and the potential threat. 

"Raiders?" you whisper. 

He shakes his head slightly. "Too early. Probably deer." But his hand moves to the knife at his belt anyway. 

The moment stretches, both of you listening intently. When no further sounds follow, Ari relaxes marginally, but doesn't move away from you. 

"Come back," he says again, quieter now. "Just for breakfast. Just for the coffee.”

"And then what?"

"And then you decide. Stay, go—it's your choice. Always will be."

You close your eyes, feeling the weight of his words. The temptation of coffee, of companionship, of his warm bed—it all pulls at you. But the fear is stronger. 

"I can't," you whisper, shaking your head. Your feet feel heavy as you move away from him, each step a battle against your omega instincts that beg you to return to the alpha who made you feel safe. 

You turn quickly before you change your mind, blinking back tears that have no business forming. Behind you, Ari's scent shifts—the warm cinnamon notes turning ashen with grief.

A pain lances through your chest. It's not your pain—somehow you know it's his, radiating across the space between you. The sensation is overwhelming, a hollow ache that feels like what you've heard about bond-breaks, though he never claimed you. Your hand instinctively goes to your unmarked neck again.

"I'll wait for you," Ari calls after you, his voice steady despite the pain you both feel. "Not forever. But long enough."

You make it another mile before you have to stop, your breath coming in ragged gasps that have nothing to do with exertion. The pain in your chest hasn't subsided—if anything, it's grown stronger with each step you've taken away from him. Away from Ari. 

His name echoes in your mind like a prayer or a curse. Ari. Not just "the alpha" anymore. A person with a name and eyes that crinkle when he smiles and hands that had been so warm on your skin. 

You sink to the ground, back against a tree, and pull your knees to your chest. This isn't right. You've walked away from people before—survivors you'd met on the road, potential allies, even a beta who'd offered you shelter for a few nights. None of them had left this hollow feeling, this physical ache that radiates from your sternum to your fingertips.

But eventually you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other, until the sound of his breathing fades behind you.

Three days later, you're huddled in an abandoned gas station, collecting a few liters of water and some sugary snacks from the back of the storeroom. The storm outside rattles the boarded windows, and you curse your stubbornness. There isn’t much here, but back at your shelter you only have enough food for maybe two more days. After that, you'll need to venture out again, risk exposure, risk encounters with raiders or worse.

You dream of him that night—of golden skin and rough but gentle hands, of safety and coffee and a bed that smelled like both of you. You wake up clutching your chest, an ache so deep it feels physical.

On the fifth day, the pain becomes impossible to ignore. You haven't eaten properly since you left him. Every time you try, your stomach revolts, rejecting even the simplest foods. It’s why you’d gone on a frivolous hunt for junk food - hoping some of the cheap indulgences from life before would tempt or distract you. But the hollow feeling in your chest has spread, becoming a physical weakness that makes your limbs heavy and your head foggy.

This isn't just heartache. This is something deeper, more primal.

You've heard stories of compatible pairs experiencing physical symptoms when separated, but those were just stories—romantic nonsense from before the world fell apart. And even if they were true, such connections took time to form, not a single night of desperate coupling.

"It's not a bond," you mutter to yourself, voice hoarse from disuse. "It can't be."

The rational part of your mind knows this is impossible. The emotional part—the omega part—whispers that maybe this is exactly what the old stories meant. Maybe some connections transcend logic, forming in a single moment of connection rather than over months or years.

You make it through one more night, curled around yourself as if you could fill the Ari-shaped void with your own arms. You fail.

By morning, your decision is made, though you're not sure if it's your mind or your body that finally decided. You gather your meager supplies, strap your knife to your belt, and begin the journey back.

The trek takes twice as long as it should. You stop frequently, resting, hiding, rationalizing, renegotiating the terms with yourself. 

Because you don’t know him. 

But you need to. 

🥺

I know.

I know, okay?!

Tough Omega is stubborn and afraid, and she's lost everyone else.

Commiserate with me and/or yell at me as necessary.

(But there's more in store for them.)

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[pardonmydelays]

when i was 18 years old i was dating a boy who was treating me like a princess. he was absolutely perfect. before i graduated high school he told me he can't wait for me to lose touch with all of my friends so he can have all of me just for himself.

when i was 20 years old i was dating a boy i had a huge crush on back when we were teenagers. he didn't really care about my interests, only about his own. whenever i was feeling down he was telling me that i should be on meds cause i'm fucking crazy.

when i was 21 years old i was dating an older guy. he was smart, intelligent, we had a lot in common. he was trying to change a lot about me tho. he told me once that he will never be able to love me as much as i love him.

when i was 24 years old i was dating a boy i thought i was gonna marry. our relationship was super messy, but i loved him so much. he had huge problems with alcohol. during one of our last fights he told me i should kill myself.

i'm 28 years old and i have trust issues. i'm scared to talk to people, i'm scared to open up to someone cause i already know how it's going to end. and i'm only saying this now because i'm tired of people telling me that i should find myself a boyfriend.

[aipurjopa]

nvm he’s growing on me

[cementcornfield]

Some of Tee and Ja'Marr's thoughts on the Tee Situation

Tee said to me 'right now I get to play with one of the, if not the, best quarterbacks in the game, I get to play with one of, if not the, best wide receivers in the game, that opens up so much more for me.' And then he said 'this offense is designed for so many different players to be spotlighted, the way that I am used in this offense so plays to my strengths.' And then he said to me, 'can you guarantee I can have that exact situation anywhere else?'

....

So do I think he's taking a home discount? No. But I do think that he is very very smart, he sees the whole picture out there...

....

It's very easy to compare this situation to what Ja'Marr had at LSU with Joe Burrow and Justin Jefferson. And Ja'Marr has said Tee is very different than Justin Jefferson. That every single minute with Justin Jefferson was a competition. That everything was who makes the more dynamic catch, who has more catches in practice, who runs faster? Everything was that way. Ja'Marr had to speak up and demand the ball a lot at LSU, because so was Justin. Ja'Marr told me that he doesn't have to do that in Cincinnati because Tee, and this is a quote from Ja'Marr, is one of the most unselfish humans you'll ever meet.

[cent-scratchnsniff]

here together

[the-elder-polls]

now. i have work in a few hours and a veil to guard after that. farewell

[frameconfessions]

I hope the protoframes remain relevant even after this story arc for the Drifter concludes, but I also recognize how complicated things would get with how many characters they could keep trying to make stay relevant, leading to a Konoha 13 Naruto type situation where we have too many relevant characters from Umbra & Ordis all the way to Kaya Velasco.

.