#those afterthoughts almost became an entire post by themselves

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Rex and the Domino Twins

This is gonna be sad again :(

°•°•°•°

Do you ever think about the fact that Rex being so desperate to save Echo was in part due to the fact that he was probably still reeling from Five's death? We don't know how long after his death Echo was found, but it can't have been an overly long time.

Rex was there when both of the Domino Twins were lost and now he has an opportunity to possibly save one of them, to know that he didn't completely fail them. He's holding onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, he can see one of his younger brothers again.

We were so close to a reunion. Just a few more weeks before the inhibitor chip incident and those two could have seen each other again.

But if Tup's chip had never been activated, Fives would have never discovered the truth, and no-one would know to remove them. And instead Echo would have watched his brother succumb to the chip.

Those two were doomed to never reunite, to never spend the rest of their lives together. Both sacrificed themselves to help protect their friends and their brothers. And because of that, they lost each other.

And even though Rex saves Echo, he knows that he has to tell him the truth.

That Fives died.

And it was only a short time ago.

Afterthoughts: Honestly, the amount of guilt that Rex probably feels about these two alone is heartbreaking. He knew how close those two were and he had to watch each of them survive without their other half, knowing that maybe he could have done something.

Rex was there when Fives was grieving Echo. And Rex was probably the one to tell Echo about Fives. And he was there when each of them were lost. He probably watches each of them and is reminded of his failings as a captain. He couldn't protect his men and seeing those two apart solidifies that.

Obviously, it's not his fault. Those two sacrificed themselves to protect their brothers. But that guilt probably eats away at him.

[kineticpenguin]

A major problem with most post-apocalyptic survival fiction is that there is that there always has to be some stupid shortcut that makes 99% of humanity irrelevant in the picture.

And you might be saying "Yeah duh, man. That's an apocalypse." Well no, it's really not. There are fast and slow apocalypses, and if you want to play soldier, you need a fast apocalypse. There are just too many goddamn people for you to be a one-man army against. In your wildest, wettest dreams, you versus 20 desperate, starving mooks is a fair fight. You live in a town with a population of 45,000 and you're arguably in the metro area of a city with a population of a million. You need something to make them gone for you, right fucking now.

The thing is, there are only two sufficiently fast apocalypses: nuclear war or a meteor strike. But those are also really fucking hard to survive. You need an apocalypse that can actually be a weird sort of afterthought after your White Man accepts his Burden: to clear the land of savages.

So you need something else. Zombies were great during the oughts, but it quickly became clear that they have a power creep problem. You start out shitting yourself, and in the end you're casually sticking potato peelers in their ears. You always need some wildly implausible disaster to keep you on the run. You conclude man is the real monster, and you play soldier, and... well, wait. Why fucking bother? What are you even trying to do, here?

But what about solar flares and EMP attacks? Okay. The cause is fast. But the actual apocalypse is slow. If you look at the list of things humans need to survive, electricity isn't really one of them. For you, that's both a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing because you don't have to jump through too many hoops to figure out how your protagonist survives it. It's a curse because you need to find a reason almost nobody else did. The Jared Chronicles tried to deal with this by creating this rumor that ships would arrive at the coast bringing supplies, and you could fish to survive. The entire easily duped population of California hit the coast where of course there were no ships, and wiped themselves out. How convenient that our protagonist only heard this rumor after it had already cleared much of the cities for him!

The ugly truth of apocalyptic survival is that you will never, ever be equipped to be the Last Man on Earth when the tech goes away. Not anyone reading this post, anyway. Your best shot is with other people, and not just the kind you can make positive moral judgements about at gunpoint.

[acraftedmistake]

A Person Who Has Never Played MCSM Writes A Story About MCSM Chp. 5

Thank you for being so patient with me! I hope you all like this chapter, tried to make it super long to make up for not posting it for so long!

I would recommend rereading the previous chapters before reading this one (cause it’s been a while hhhhhh i’m sorrrrryyyy)

Hope you all like it!! <3

“It’s Jesse!” Gill shouted, leaping over the table and towards the curly haired boy. Jesse jumped, but that was the most movement he could produce in those mere seconds as Gill lunged at him and tackled Jesse to the ground, his body letting out a disgusting crack as all of Gill’s weight crushed him against the floor. “I got him down!”

He forced Jesse’s body to face towards Stella, who got atop of the bar and whipped out a sturdy bow and slender arrows with tips gleaming a hue of a sickly green. She aimed the arrow at Jesse’s head, which was being held in place by Gill’s monstrous hand. Maya’s attention was all on Jesse, she walked away from a baffled Olivia and to the boy being held down, cracking her knuckles.

Jesse would’ve been pounded to a fine dust had Aiden not intervened.

“Hey HEY! Don’t kill him!” Aiden grabbed Gill by the shoulders and yanked him off, pushing him aside. Gill stumbled and would’ve fell had it not been more Maya catching him. Stella lowered her bow, baffled by Aiden’s order.

“Well, not yet.” Rose added. Aiden huffed, disregarding his friend’s comment and helped Jesse up with a tight grip on his shoulder.

Gill, Stella, and Maya stared at their friend with a mixture of disbelief and disgust, “Are you on Jesse’s side now?!” Gill asked, his voice cracking a little.

“Maybe he’s been brainwashed, he does look a little pale...” Maya growled as she cracked her knuckles, stepping closer to Aiden.

“Would you LISTEN?!” Aiden shot out, teeth gritted. Maya stepped back to her group of friends, lips compressed as she fought the urge to snap back.

The room became quiet, Aiden let go of Jesse as he bit the inside of his cheek. Stella stepped off the table and subtly tried to bring herself closer to Olivia. Jesse took the time to study his surroundings. Well, mostly the kitchen. Maybe there’d be a weapon--or something similar to a weapon--that he could use to protect himself with, just in case. The first thing that stuck out to Jesse were the two thick wooden poles. One by the end of the light, cool gray bar table, and the other was awkwardly placed by the dark brown kitchen table in the center, surrounded by chairs of the same color but with aqua colored cushions. The poles had to have been built into the house, they were the same color as the kitchen’s maple wood floor and merged with the ceiling. There were no nails, screams, nothing that showed the poles to be an afterthought. But what purpose did they serve? The outside of the house looked stable, maybe it was added for the sake of looking cool?

The rest of the kitchen was absurdly clean. The gray counters that stretched across the wall didn’t have a single stain, and a large, sleek black refrigerator was at the end of the counters. It was cleaned to the point where you could most likely see your reflection. There were dusty brown cabinets up above, most likely containing dishes; Jesse didn’t see a single plate nor cup anywhere, not even a knife block out, there were no visible dishes in or around the sink either. The only thing that WAS on the counter was a simple, gray and black microwave and a coffee machine.

Lastly, of course, was the bar table that Stella stood on. A solid, light gray color with specs of black scattered about, its top as bare as the counters’. A few of its slender, cool gray stools fell to the ground when everyone decided to go on full attack mode.

Jesse was bummed that he couldn’t find any potential weapon, but was impressed by the condition of this place.‘This is a surprisingly tidy place for THIS group… Out of all the people.’

Aiden straightened his green, long sleeved shirt and began, “Rose and I went to the Shrine of Eyes, and the speculations were true: The portal had been activated. However, we didn’t get to see the portal itself in its active state.”

Cassie Rose walked up to her friend’s side, “However, we did find Jesse... And Olivia.” the room managed to get even more quiet, eyes sneaking glances at the black haired girl, who did her best to ignore the unwanted attention.

“You think the portal brought her back to life?” Gill questioned.

“I don’t know.” Aiden answered straightly, he folded his arms and kicked the floor, looking down as everyone watched him, waiting for him to add on to his statement. Aiden paced about, thinking out loud, mumbling possible outcomes to himself; Cassie Rose spoke up, “When we ran into Jesse, he told us he found the portal in a jungle temple and ended up here. He didn’t know where he was, what the Shrine of Eyes was, but... He knew who Aiden was.”

Jesse was debating on whether or not it was a good time to mention he knew EVERYONE in this room, each with their own, unique, terrible experiences, but given the current mood everybody’s in, he decided it wasn’t the best idea.

“That’s the crappiest lie I’ve ever heard.” Maya grumbled.

“Ugh, tell me about it.” Cassie Rose rolled her eyes to the back of her head.

“I agree!” Stella announced as she circled around Jesse, “I don’t see why we’re making this into such a predicament! We know Jesse, right? I thought it was quite CLEAR that he has a couple of screws loose, to put it nicely. ” Stella stuck her nose up, speaking in her typical know-it-all tone.

“Who here thinks our little friend is lying? Just curious.” Stella asked, raising her hand in the air.

Almost instantaneously, Maya raised her hand. Then Gill. And finally, Rose, but not before giving Aiden an almost pitied glance. Jesse, Aiden, and Olivia were the remaining few whose hands were down.

There was an uncomfortable silence before Aiden finally spoke up, “We can’t just have a vote on whether or not he’s lying, none of us know that.”

“Yes, but we DO know Jesse. He’s lied hundreds of times before and you’re making an exception this one time? He’s mad!” Stella responded.

“Hey now wait just a minute-” Jesse spoke up but was immediately interrupted by Maya.

“YOU don’t get a say in this!” She put her raised hand down to point at Jesse in the most aggressive manner he’s ever seen.

“I think I should! You’re all talking about me, might as well add my two cents in this, right?!” Jesse snapped, his response met with angry glares.

“Well alright, go on then! Say somethin’! Whatever the heck’s on your mind, no one’s stoppin’ ya!” Maya growled, sizing up and invading his personal space.

Jesse moved his mouth as he attempted to make some coherent thought or sense of what was going on, soon realizing he really didn’t know what was happening. He didn’t even know how to feel about the situation he found himself in, or whatever the heck he was being accused of. Sure, it made him upset to be ganged up against, but he wasn’t quite sure why. He fell quiet as his face felt hot.

“Yeah that’s what I thought.” the large girl spat as she turned back to her friends.

Jesse bit his tongue. He contained his urge to spit a remark back, knowing it wouldn’t do him any good. So far, no one seemed willing to talk--let alone explain something--to him without treating him like dirt. They didn’t hide their favoritism with Olivia. So for now, he’ll wait. He doesn’t know much about what’s going on or why people are reacting the way they were, but answers would hopefully come soon. The only good plan that he could come up with would be to remain quiet until he had some information he could work with.

“It’s only a matter of time before his little facade wears off.” Jesse heard Stella whisper to Rose, who nodded once and sternly.

“Well...” Aiden took a deep breath “No one knows what exactly is going on. And honestly, jumping to conclusions won’t help us. So we need to find out.” His voice gaining the sort of confidence you’d hear in a leader.

Aiden stood tall and scanned the room, brainstorming as everyone else waited for him to begin.

“Here’s what’s going to happen: Half of us will go to the library to see if we can find any books or journals that have any information about this portal situation. I don’t care if there’s an entire book about the subject, one whole chapter dedicated to it, even a brief mention! Something is better than nothing.” the group nodded, even Jesse found himself getting more and more drawn into the developing plan.

Aiden continued,  “The other half will watch over Jesse... And Olivia to play it safe.” he hesitated. “Tomorrow, we can go to Hadrian’s little museum, they could also have some relics or books that might contain any information related to this.”

“How’s that sound?” Aiden concluded, eyeing his friends, waiting for their reactions.

Rose whispered to Maya, who then whispered to Stella. The girls began silently discussing amongst themselves as Aiden pondered who should do what.

Someone then spoke up.

“Stella, Maya, and I can hit the library--we’re both thinking about the same library at the edge of town, right? Not the one by Hadrian’s?” Rose asked. Aiden nodded in confirmation. “Good, it shouldn’t be too long of a walk then.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Stella spoke up, all eyes went to her “Why is Olivia getting the same treatment as Jesse?” there was murmuring amongst the girls again as Olivia felt her heart speed up by the mere mention of her name. She didn’t want to be in the spotlight or be the cause of any conflict. Not now.

“Do you really want to put Olivia on the same level as Jesse?” Rose asked almost weakly. Aiden, taken aback, sputtered as his face struggled to match the array of emotions he shifted through until he was able to collect himself and revert back to his previous stern look.

“It’s not that,” Aiden began quietly, “You know that.” Rose folded her arms, locking eyes with Aiden. “Think about what we’re going through. How the town might react if they see her. What could happen to her. Or you!”

“I don’t trust her in the same room with him.” Rose firmly stated, her hands gripping her arms tighter and tighter.

“That’s why some of us are staying behind to watch over both of them.”

“She could come with us to the library...” Rose said under her breath.

“She doesn’t even know where she IS.”

“So this will be a perfect opportunity to jog her memory! It’ll be a trip down memory lane.” Stella slid in between the two, preventing a possible feud from happening. She flashed a small, confident smile at Aiden, fixing the sleeves to her long, striped purple suit that merged with her skirt with a thin, black belt around it; a bit of the white shirt underneath the suit stuck out.

“I think her joining us at the library is a wonderful idea! It’ll be just like old times, I don’t see a reason why not to!” Stella wrapped one arm around Olivia and held her close. Olivia held her breath as Stella pressed against her, her dusty purple lapel brushing against her legs as Olivia’s thick, black hair pushed up against the girl’s face.

Aiden opened his mouth to debate, but Stella put a finger over his face to silence him, “And we’ll be able to keep her out of sight juuusst fine. We’re all--what--a foot taller than her? We’ll just tuck her in the middle of our group and hide her! No problem.”

She began counting off a few other reasons, “We’ll be quiet, we won’t be too suspicious, we’ll bring some weapons with us so we’re prepared for ANYTHIN-”

“And what if Olivia doesn’t want to go?” Aiden interrupted, halting Stella in her tracks. Stella blinked and attempted to work with Aiden’s question. Glancing at Olivia, who looked as if she wasn’t entirely sure about the answer herself.

Letting go of the girl, she hesitated for a moment “Whhhyyyy.... WOULDN’T she want to tag along? Space away from Jesse could help immensely!” she shot Jesse a dirty look.

Stella continued blabbing, trying to convince Aiden to go against his original plan. But he wasn’t budging. He stood tall, arms folded as he looked down on his friend. Stella sounded surprisingly confident despite making up most of her reasons on the fly, but just watching the two interact was like witnessing an unstoppable force clash with an immovable object.

Olivia took the time she had to weigh the pros and cons if she agreed to tag along. On one hand, this could give her an opportunity to find out more about this new world her and Jesse had entered, maybe she could snag a few books and read up on any history, or she could ask questions to the group she’d be with.

But on the other hand, what if this was a trap and they were planning on backstabbing her, Jesse would never know. Or what if she was kidnapped? She’d never be able to see her real home again, all her friends would assume she’s dead. And why do they want her to remain hidden? The way they reacted to her when they first saw her wasn’t natural. It was clear something had happened to her. Had she gone missing? Did she die? She doesn’t want to think about that right now.

All the horrible downsides and possibilities miraculously sparked something in her brain. She turned her head to look at Jesse, whose eyes shifted to meet her’s and gave her a reassuring smile.

‘Do it for Jesse.’ Olivia thought to herself, closing her eyes, ‘You have this opportunity to learn more. This is the step in the right direction to get the both of us home. Where you need to be.’ She opened her eyes; Stella was still going off as Aiden still stood, she breathed in.

“... And did I mention this is the busiest time of the day, no one will pay attention to-”

“I want to join!” Olivia piped up.

Aiden and Stella whirled their heads around, Stella far more enthusiastic than Aiden. He gave Olivia a concerned--worried--look.

“What Olivia says is law, sorry, I don’t make the rules!” Stella sang as she rushed up the stairs, her footsteps could still be heard on the second floor as she banged about before returning, practically flying down the stairs with her arms full of weapons and potions. She placed an iron sword and a few bottles filled with bright magenta liquid into her inventory then began handing Rose her own set of potions.

Taking out her diamond axe, Rose scanned the small crowd in her house, “The girls and I will head out to find what we can while you boys hang around here. Us girls gotta stick together, you know?”

“That sounds like an excuse to make sure I don’t stop you guys from getting killed.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Rose responded simply. “And what of it?”

“You worry too much Aiden, we’ve been friends for yeeaaaarrrsss! You know us!” Stella slid over to nudge him playfully.

“You’re right, I do know you.” Aiden turned to Maya, “Maya. Watch over them. Make sure they don’t get into any trouble.”

Maya nodded, her face tough and cold. “Didn’t know we needed a babysitter.” Stella huffed.

“And before you head out,” Aiden began, Rose immediately groaned. “Head straight to the library, no detours.”

“Got it.” Rose said.

“Get what you need and don’t cause a scene or get yourselves kicked out.”

“Mm-hm.”

“Don’t interact with-”

“Alright dad, I get it. Safety’s important. We gotta go now, bye.” Rose ended as she ran over to join the rest of her friends.

“Let’s go.” Maya ordered and opened the door, watching each girl leave the house. Then she finally left, slamming the door behind her and shaking the house.

The group stood outside for a second in silence, only the sound of the crickets chirping and the distant music played in the nearby stores filled the air. The silence was almost refreshing, a nice change of pace from cluttered conversations that happened indoors. Olivia welcomed the peace that the outdoors provided, and for once, throughout this entire adventure--if you could even call it that--she didn’t feel like she was in the spotlight or in the middle of bickering. It was like a ton she wasn’t aware about was lifted off her shoulders and she felt her stiffened body relax a little.

“Man,” Maya broke the silence, “Even in times like these, Aiden still makes time to lecture us.” a smile crept across her stone cold face. The girls giggled amongst themselves.

They settled down and Stella spoke up, “So, how does this sound: The four of us will walk in a group, two people on the side, one up front so that way Olivia’s hidden in a little huddle!”

“Sounds good to me. I’ll be up front.” Maya said and began walking towards the stone sidewalk outside of the house, she tilted her head, motioning the others to come along.

Olivia scurried behind Maya, now coming to terms with just how tall Maya truly was. Sure, Olivia was a few inches below the average height and EVERYONE was a bit taller than her, but Maya was a skyscraper compared to her. She was nearly as tall as Aiden and looked a bit intimidating when looking up at her.

Rose and Stella stood on opposite sides of Olivia, sort of squishing her but she wasn’t suffocating just yet, so no point in complaining.

“We should reach the library in roughly half an hour,” said Cassie Rose,

“So let’s get a move on!” Stella smiled as the group headed off.

~~~~~~

The boys were alone, far apart from each other. The liveliness of the room left at the same time the girls did and Jesse missed the chatter. People might’ve been arguing but he prefered any conversation over the silent treatment he was currently getting.

Jesse sat still, hands in lap, on the green couch in the living room engulfed by darkness. He wanted to turn one of the lights on, but based on the warm welcome he received earlier, he was certain he wouldn’t be allowed to. Aiden and Gill hadn’t said a word after the girls had left and migrated over to the kitchen; Jesse observed the large bookshelf in front of him, skimming the titles he could make out in the dark, listening to the rustling in the kitchen as he thought of a question he could ask to get the ball rolling, but suddenly, someone spoke.

“You’re making coffee? Again?” Jesse heard Gill ask across the kitchen.

Carefully turning his head, he tuned into their conversation as the coffee machine let out a loud beep.

“Yeah.” Aiden responded in a somewhat colder manner, “You want some?”

“Are you stressed again or something? This is like... Your eighth one.”

“I’m not--” Aiden turned and locked eyes with Jesse, his brows creased slightly as he scooted closer to Gill, his voice lowering to an almost inaudible whisper.

Jesse faced the bookshelf again, lips pressed together as his face turned a light shade of red. If he wanted to listen, maybe he could try being more subtle about it. Jesse sat still and tried to make out bits of the discussion in the distance, only hearing a few snippets every so often. He heard Aiden pour his coffee and take a slow sip out of it while occasionally shooting a few glares at him.

The conversation between the two kept going, still as quiet as before, with no signs of stopping or getting louder. Jesse needed to ask a question or say SOMETHING to help get the ball rolling. It was now or never, the worst case scenario would be Aiden telling him to shut up or flat out ignoring him. Either way, it was better than sitting in complete silence, making no progress.

“So, uh,” Jesse raised his voice, “What library is Olivia and the other girls going to? You said there were two of them?”

Aiden’s whisper faded out and he held his coffee cup with a tight grip, his eyes on Jesse.

“... Yeah.” he answered hesitantly.

There was a long stretch of silence before he continued, “There’s the local one, it’s closer and a lotta people visit it. Then there’s the one outside of town, it’s been up for centuries and it’s kept in good shape by the town since it contains a bunch of relics from the past.”

“Why don’t you just take the stuff from the older library and place it into the newer one?” Questioned Jesse who was now leaning his body forward to look through the window, seeing the public library peek out from the side with slim rays of the street lights shining in his face. People could be seen chatting through the library’s yellow tinted windows.

“Cause the guards wanna protect the ancient material ‘n the building itself cause it’s... Pretty old and important.” Gill vaguely explained, not entirely sure of the answer himself. He looked at Aiden for confirmation.

Aiden lifted his cup up and nodded reassuringly, “Yep, that’s the gist of it.”

Jesse adjusted his body to face the other two, sitting on his knees as they dug into the soft cushions of the couch, “Is anyone able to enter?”

“Nope. Only the few who were selected.” answered Aiden, taking another big gulp of coffee.

Jesse opened his mouth to ask why, but it seemed Aiden already knew what he was about to say, as he responded almost impatiently, “We’re the reason the place is still in one piece. We’re allowed to go in. I don’t know who else is allowed in besides us.”

Aiden’s eyes widened and he promptly turned to Gill, “How the heck are Rose and the others gonna get past the guards with Olivia there? They’re gonna notice her.” he shoved his face in his hands and groaned, upset with himself for not thinking about the security of the library.

“Oh come on, they’re smart, I’m sure they’ll think of somethin’.” Gill said. Aiden took a deep breath and stared at Jesse from the corner of his eye as a question began making its way out of his mouth.

~~~~~~~

The girls had been walking for only several minutes and Olivia had already gotten tired of seeing Maya’s back. She wanted to see the scenery of this new area, she could hear other people walking, conversations happening, music playing, doors shutting, yet couldn’t get a snippet of anything. The girls on both sides of her also blocked most of her view. She understood that she had to be hidden from plain sight for unknown reasons, but she was beginning to feel more like a prisoner or a freak who was denied access to see even a glimpse of the world.

Rose, Stella, and Maya would talk amongst each other and would try to get Olivia involved--well--it was mostly Stella and Rose who did the talking, Maya remained silent. Most of what they were saying was quite general to hear in everyday conversations “How’s life been treating you?”, “What have you been up to?”, but something about the questions felt forced. Half of the time, she couldn’t even answer properly.

“Sooo... How have you been?” Stella would ask, hands behind her back.

“Fine, I think? A little shaken up.” Oliva would say.

“Can’t blame you, who knows what Jesse did to you back there” Rose commented. Whatever that meant.

Some questions were odder and Olivia wasn’t sure if she should just respond with a “I don’t know” or lie through her teeth to get on the good side of these girls. Sure, they were acting pleasant to be around, but Olivia was waiting for one of them to slip up. All three of them hated her in one way or another, and having the three of them surrounding her, hiding her, AND taking her to a library--which could be a lie for all she knew--was setting off a million alarms. Even if all three of them had forgotten or had made amends with all of the past experiences they’ve had together, it still felt wrong to be so close to them, trying to talk to them as if they’ve been friends for so long.

“Did you miss this place?” Rose asked, arms folded casually.

“I’m... I don’t know.” Olivia answered honestly.

“Yeah, nothing’s really memorable about Obsidian Town.” the red head chuckled. She asked another question, “How’re you feeling?”

“I asked that exact question not even five minutes ago!” Stella huffed.

“No, I asked her about how she’s feeling, you asked about how she's been. Huge difference.”

“Do you want an honest answer?” Olivia asked, feeling the regret build up almost instantaneously. What if they gang up on her? Get angry? All she had to defend herself was the remains of a freaking lever.

“Sure.” Rose gave a casual smile with her eyebrows lifting up.

Olivia felt a knot in her stomach, wishing Jesse was there by her side.

“I feel like there’s this whole story going on that I just got shoved into. I’m just... Confused.”

There was no response at first, everyone avoiding staring at Olivia’s general direction. Stella let out a broken laugh.

“I suppose that’s... Normal, Considering what you’ve been through. But that’s why we’re here to help out.” Rose said as she shoved her hands into her pockets, looking more and more uneasy by the second.

“Oh I completely understand how you’re feeling. It just feels like you aren’t--or ANY of this is.... Real, you know? I’m just waiting to wake up or turn around one second and you just disappear! It’s all so surreal.” Stella flashed her a smile as if that was supposed to be reassuring.

Olivia stared at Stella, not even sure how to follow up with that statement.

“... What happened to me?”

Stella tapped her chin, “What happened to--Oh we don’t know either!” she flicked her hands up, “That’s why we’re getting some items from the library to find out!”

“I appreciate that but I don’t even know where I am or--or what’s going on!”

Stella’s smile began fading, “Well you remember US, don’t you?”

She placed her hand on Olivia’s shoulder, her eyes begging Olivia to say “Yes”.

“I... I do but I think we’re on completely different pages.” Olivia didn’t want to outright tell all of them that they’ve all treated her terribly in the past in fear of making the situation more severe.

Rose spoke up, “When Aiden and I found the two of them at the temple, Jesse didn’t seem to remember anything besides who Aiden was.”

She began pulling on a long lock of her hair and looked down, “I suggested that he might have amnesia. Maybe it was a side effect from the portal, but he dismissed it.”

“Are you implying that Olivia might also have amnesia?” Stella’s eyes widened, “Why didn’t you mention that earlier?!”

Olivia didn’t know how to feel about literally being in the middle of an argument about her. It wasn’t a fun experience, that was a fact.

“Because Aiden and I weren’t sure! I’m still not sure! That’s why we’re heading over to the library!” Rose argued.

Before anything could spiral out of control, the small girl spoke up.

“When you all saw me, your reactions... You all looked like you saw a ghost. That’s not normal. What made you react like that?” Olivia felt Stella’s hand slide off of her and watched it fall to the girl’s side.

Rose looked away again, as if that’d give her a pass from answering the question. Stella sealed her lips like she was forbidden from giving out a proper explanation. Olivia waited for one of them, ANY of them to reply.

“I...” Maya started but paused to think. “The best way I can put it? You’re not supposed to be here. That’s all.”

Olivia shook her head, that might’ve been an answer but it was still vague.

“That doesn-”

“That’s. ALL.” Maya raised her voice.

Olivia stopped dead in her tracks, the other girls were as taken aback as Olivia was.

Maya looked around to see the thrown off expressions on her friends' faces, she then scanned the area around them and noticed that a few bystanders had stopped to see what the commotion was about. They might have been farther from the liveliest area of their town, but there were still people around. People who don’t need to know what’s going on.

Maya sucked air in through her teeth, “I’m sorry, I didn’t- I’m sorry.”

With guilt on her face, she turned around and shoved her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. “We need to go. We’re almost there.”

She fell silent again as she continued walking with heavy steps.

Rose nudged Olivia along, “She’s right, we can talk about this later, okay?”

Olivia began walking, but it felt slower somehow as she gave the girls beside her an anxious exchange before saying “... Okay.”  

~~~~~~~

“So,” Aiden started as he pulled two chairs out from under the kitchen table, Gill soon pulling out his own and sitting down. “You came through a portal that was in a jungle temple, right?”

He asked as he leaned his upper body over one of the sturdy, dark brown wooden chair.

“That’s right.” Jesse nodded, taking off Olivia’s hat--which he had nearly forgotten about--and began fidgeting with its side straps.

“And how-” Aiden stopped.

“Why don’t you sit down over here?” he suggested, tilting his head to the empty chair between him and Gill.

Jesse eyed the chair then Aiden.

“Sure...” He got off the couch, his eyes staying on the chair as he made his way over to it. Jesse remembered that Rose had lended him the extra pair of large, dark blue pants when he heard the bottoms of it rub against the wooden floor with each step. He really wants to take those off.

Aiden watched Jesse with serious yet collected eyes, while Gill’s were much wider and suspicious.

Sitting down, Jesse instinctively gripped the seat with his fingers tightly.

Aiden reworded his question from before, “What was it like on the other side of the portal?”

“Well,” Jesse squirmed around, feeling Gill’s intense stare on him. There was no way to incorrectly answer this but Jesse felt as though saying the wrong thing could lead to awful reactions.

“Olivia and I went through this kinda big jungle temple, I spotted it when I saw it glowing in the distance and wanted to check it out with her. There weren’t any mobs, the place itself was pretty beaten up. Lotta furniture and items broken or really dusty, redstone powder smeared everywhere. I uh... We saw a plank of wood with light pouring out of it,” Jesse pointed at the floor as if he were trying to recreate the experience. He hopped out of the chair and knelt down.

“We opened it and underneath was a thin staircase with an even thinner hallway,” he moved his arms in front of him parallely.

“And we just... Ended up here.” he shrugged.

Gill seemed like he was still trying to picture the event, Aiden, however, understood and asked the next question.

“You had a home?”

“Yeah, it’s kind of like this town in a way? Though not as many revines or a shrine... Or a large, obsidian wall. Uhm, there are some temples and old mines here and there, though mostly a larger mining system. I used to live in a treehouse with my friends before we moved to Beacon Town. And uh--uhm...”

Jesse fumbled with his words when struck with the realization that describing your hometown was quite difficult at--what was possibly--the worst time to find out. Beacon Town was great, he loved it, but he mostly remembered all the adventures or the events that had happened there rather than its appearance.

Aiden’s face shifted for a brief moment, almost looking confused or surprised. What made him react that way was unknown to Jesse, however.

“What kind of stupid name is Beacon town?” Gill laughed uncomfortably.

“I don’t see Obsidian Town winning any awards any time soon.” Jesse frowned and got up.

Gill glared at him and stood up, “I bet you thinkin’ I’m gonna fall for some big fat lie, don’t you? That I’m too ‘stupid’ to know what’s goin’ on. Well I can see through this dumb lie of yours! Aiden-!” he turned to his friend, expecting back up, but saw him with his hand slightly up, as if motioning him to settle down.

“Gill,” Aiden breathed in,  “We’re not sure if-”

“Not sure? But Jesse’s lived HERE all his life, YOU know that, I know that! And then- then he went missing and some portal activated--Aiden, come on!” Gill was clearly frustrated, close to fuming, even.

“Rose thought that too. I’m not saying I believe Jesse, I don’t,” Aiden glanced at the boy on the couch, “But if it turns out he didn’t activate the portal-- but just found and went through it, then we have a bigger problem in our hands. And we’ll probably need him.”

“This is makin’ everythin’ so much harder than it should be!” Gill clenched his fists and heaved heavily.

“I’m telling you the truth,” Jesse said, “I’ve never been here, I don’t know anything!”

“So you don’t remember ANYTHING about this place?” Gill stomped up to him, leaning close with teeth gritted.

“From what I’ve seen so far, it’s just a shrine, a barricaded--but friendly--town, and a whole lotta revines.” answered Jesse.

Gill licked his lips and breathed in, almost unsure about what he asked next,

“Do you remember anything about us...?”

That was when things got tricky. He did know them. He’s had past experiences with everyone he’s met so far. But they’ve all been BAD experiences. What was he supposed to say? Was there any nice or softer way to explain?

“... Kind of.”

“That doesn’t make any sense! How could you remember us but not your own home-?!” before another tangent could break out, Aiden spoke up,

“Gill,” Aiden placed his hand on his friend’s chest, making him step back. Aiden stood tall and towered over Jesse, causing Jesse himself to shrink.

“What do you know about us?”

Jesse opened his mouth but stopped. He was beginning to wonder if this was an elaborate set up, how could Aiden not remember Sky City? Nearly killing him twice along with his friends and the founder. And even if Aiden decided to move past that, that still didn’t explain the bitter treatment from everyone else. He was being talked down to, shamed for something he had done but he doesn’t know WHAT, he wasn’t being treated like an enemy or rival, but like a villain.

“Well, uh... Good question. Where to start…” he fixed his posture and adjusted the straps of his suspenders. ‘Don’t go crazy with the details,’ he told himself, ‘You’ll be here forever trying to explain everything.’

“You were a part of a gang called ‘The Ocelots’, but that changed into ‘The Blaze Rods’ over time. Gill was in it too but he didn’t really do much.”

Gill crossed his arms and furrowed his brow.

“I’m just saying what I know, don’t take it as a personal attack.” Jesse reminded him. “You used to be our rival gang, my friends and I would try to beat you at Ender Con every year but kept losing. Then one year, we almost won. I remember it pretty well, you were building a rainbow beacon, we decided to build this giant, wool creeper with fireworks, and people loved it. But you saw our build and broke something that held lava, you made it go everywhere! Our creation burnt down but I didn’t really care about that at the time, Rueben’s costume was on fire and… Yeah.”

“Really?” Aiden said, seemingly discontent. It was almost like he knew there was more to this story and waited for Jesse to continue. Should he? Jesse avoided direct eye contact with Aiden, debating whether or not he should explain the rest of their past interactions.

“Why would I lie about something like that?” Jesse laughed, “Do you think I just made up an entire story out of thin air? Why would I make up something that elaborate when I could’ve just said ‘I don’t remember?”

He leaned back and groaned, “I don’t know what I’d need to do for you to believe me, but if you wanted physical proof, unfortunately--for the both of us--that’s gonna be kinda hard.”

Jesse dug his nails into the wood of the chair, brainstorming on what to say next.

He was beginning to shake.

Shake?

Aiden stood up and didn’t say a word. No one did. His cup began trembling, clinking against the table, the table itself started to shiver but quickly turned into a much more violent thrashing. “Oh great.”

Jesse got out of the chair--which fell to the ground and began bouncing about as the ground shook more and more. The world let out a low rumble that fueled Jesse’s panic. He tried his best to remain standing, but that was impossible when the whole world was trying to knock you down. He saw Gill and Aiden grab onto the thick wooden pole, unfazed by the abrupt quake. The world let out a low rumble that fueled Jesse’s panic.

“Hey, it’s great that you’re being cool under this sort of situation, but what’s going on?!” The rumbling nearly drowned out Jesse’s question.

Aiden, despite having no idea what he was just asked, responded “Just grab onto something, it’ll be over in a second.”

Jesse wobbled over to the pole and gripped it tighter and tighter like that’d somehow put a stop to the shaking. The clanking and thrashing of the dishes, books, and furniture boomed in Jesse’s ears. Everything sounded chaotic. Jesse was starting to wonder if he was exaggerating how extreme the quake was based on Aiden and Gill’s borderline nonchalant reactions.

But then, it stopped. It had to have lasted no more than thirty seconds, but it felt so much worse.

Jesse cracked an eye open and, to his surprise, almost everything still stood. The bookshelves in the living room, the lamp, the few cabinets. The kitchen was fine as well, no cracks, nothing shattered, no plates fell. The only things that were on the ground were the chairs and Aiden’s cup. Jesse still held on to the pole, processing what had just happened in a matter of seconds.

“Right, anyways…” Aiden let go and picked up his cup along with a chair. Gill helped out.

“Anyways?! The world thrashed us around violently--out of NOWHERE--and you’re acting like it was no big deal!” Jesse stammered.

“Yeah… It’s just a quake.” Aiden said as if that was to be expected.

Jesse watched the two set the chairs back up, eyes still wide, still trying to make sense of everything.

~~~~~~~~~

Olivia had gotten lost in her own thoughts, no longer paying attention or attempting to see her surroundings. Instead, she kept her head down, looking at the ground and watching her feet. She’s noticed that the farther they walked from Obsidian Town, the colder the air got. She was thankful that Aiden had given her his leather jacket. Thick trees began replacing the buildings on the sides of the path, the path would look more damaged and worn down with each step, moss peaking through the crooked cracks.

Any conversation had come to an end and Olivia couldn’t help but feel bad for making the atmosphere much more gloomy than it was earlier.

“Ah, hello girls!” a voice greeted them cheerfully.

Maya stopped in her tracks and Olivia--who wasn’t paying attention--ran right into her. She rubbed her black hair down, trying to control the frizz going on.

“Great to see ya again this fine evenin’!” The man--a guard--said, tipping his murky green service cap.

It felt nice to finally hear another person’s voice. Looking up, Olivia was able to see the towering structure about them. It was a few stories high, resembling an old, smaller, medieval tower that was... A pale color that reminded her of quartz or sandstone. There wasn’t much light to illuminate the building except for the two front lights on both sides of the door, and that was just the front entrance.

She was able to see the top just fine, not that that really helped at all. The roof was flat and sort of... Noticeably crooked? The place had seen better days.

The shape of the library almost reminded her of those castle towers--they had a specific name to them--a square stone keep? Either way, she’d see those in many books about structures from hundreds of years ago, so it was interesting to see bits of it in person.

“Hey Logan, just the three of us. Aiden wanted us to look for something.” Rose said to the guard while motioning towards the group.

“Alright, just remember to return whatever it is you borrow! And remember...” He nodded slowly but something caught his eye as his words drifted away. He attempted to peer in between the girls, noticing movement in between them. Rose saw and poked Maya’s arm, who turned her head towards the red head; Cassie pointed to the man.

“Aright, just remember to return whatever it is you borrowed! And remember, it’s a full moon tonight, so be careful!”

“We gotta go, we can’t take too long.” Maya said in a harsh tone and walked quickly towards the library’s entrance without giving Logan a second thought as she pushed him to the side. The other girls huddled together and followed behind.

Olivia, while being hurried into the library, was able to catch a glimpse of an old, cracked sign above the doorway, “St. Stephen’s”.

Logan scratched his head and shouted behind them “Be careful! Tonight’s a full moon!”

“Thanks, Logan~!” Stella beamed, waving to the guard before going back to her friends and scoffing “Does he think we’re blind? I’m pretty sure I know when a rock in the sky is ‘full’.”

They all chuckled.

Walking through the entrance, towering columns made of stone, cracked and worn away by age, held the building strong as it must have done so many years ago.

Walking in, she saw the cobblestone floor, chunks missing and the surface rigidity from how many have walked on it in the past.

The books were placed in sturdy, dark oak shelves that stood several feet proudly. Her eyes trailed up from the shelves and followed the wide staircase that led to the second floor with even more books. Long vines hung from the rails of the dark oak and spruce stairs, the rails themselves were made up of stone, which would fade into stone bricks and then to the columns to support such big stairs, some were covered in moss like a fine, thick carpet. There was another staircase that probably led to another floor full of books. As the girls walked down the path, dark wooden slabs placed on each side helped refine the shape and allowed it to stand out from the rest of the floor instead of merging them together and creating a jumbled mess.

There seemed to be four paths that met at the center of the building, one North, East, and West, but the South path had another entrance--an exit?-- that was blocked off by debris that must’ve been caused by a storm of some sort.

Where the paths met, there was a large square shape in the center of the library, bringing a sense of symmetry and completion.

The girls stopped at the center and spoke in whispers; Olivia looked up and saw an enormous wooden chandelier, candles lit and gleaming brightly like stars in a cold, dead night. The candles--which emitted a warm, red glow--could only light up a majority of the third floor and slowly faded farther down, keeping the first floor mostly consumed in darkness. Regardless, it helped the place feel calming and secure with such a wonderful, faint glow.

Olivia breathed in the mixed fragrance of old books and dampened wood. An odd combination that led to such a specific sense of nostalgia. It almost reminded her of way back when; when her and Jesse used to live together in that old tree house of theirs.

“Alright,” Cassie Rose spoke up, “The type of books we’ll most likely need to look for is anything about portals-”

“Duh.” Stella commented.

“Maybe books about summoning or banishment if possible, maybe a book about The Hero’s Banishment itself and... Hm...” Rose began biting the top of her lips as she tried to conjure up any other possible targets for them to search for.

“Do you think books about old crafts might be useful?” Olivia suggested, wanting to contribute to the situation even by a little bit.

“Anything helps. I can search the second floor.” Rose stated.

Stella started walking to one of the many rows of shelves past the girls, “I’ll see what I can find on the first floor.”

“I’ve got third.” Maya said before heading towards the stairs.

Olivia stood alone with Rose, they would exchange a few glances, but none of them knew what to say. Olivia played with her hair as Cassie Rose took off her glasses to clean them with her shirt.

“I’ll-” the both of them started before quickly stopping.

“You first.” Rose insisted.

She tucked her hair behind her ears, “Sorry--But if it’s alright with you, I could join you upstairs?”

Rose’s face lit up some, “Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Rose made her way up wooden stairs, her steps and the creaking of the wood echoed throughout the place which made Olivia cringe. Every library she’s ever been to, heck, any older place she’s ever stepped foot in, she’s always tried to be as quiet as possible. It felt like a sign of respect.

Even though the four of them were probably the only ones to be in this ancient place, she still tip-toed her way up, falling a bit behind Cassie Rose.

Despite how cracked and rough the stairs appeared to be, they were surprisingly sturdy. There were planks of wood missing, but you could easily walk around or over them thanks to how wide the staircase was.

Olivia looked past the stone railings and out upon the sea of bookcases; they were all set up so carefully, all in long, neat rows that would stop when they’d reach the one of the four paths. But seeing them so aligned made her worry that if one tipped over, it’d cause a domino effect.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Stella’s arm, the purple sleeve to her suit and all. She was grabbing a thin, dark red book from the very top shelf. Rose had already reached the top of the stairs and was already approaching the large shelves that the second level had to offer.

Olivia grabbed onto the smooth rails but felt her hand shaking. Was she nervous? Cold? She gripped the rails tighter.

She wasn’t shaking.

It started as a quick tremble but soon turned into a violent thrashing. The stairs swayed as if they were in the violent, unforgiving heart of the ocean, the bookcases remained in place thankfully but still shivered terribly, books fell to the ground, their thick covers hitting the ground with loud smacking sounds which mixed with the unholy, thunderous booms and groaning from the library itself. Rose held onto one of the large, stone columns, looking more frustrated than frightened.

Olivia clutched onto the railings and squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that the quake would come to an end.

As the columns shook, a low rumbling sound could be heard, soon followed by a loud cracking sound that pierced Olivia’s ears. The railing she once held onto with her dear life crumbled into millions of pieces; she lost her balance and felt herself soon falling, unable to catch herself as everything around her felt as if it was moving forward faster.

She heard someone shout her name as she prepared herself for a terrible impact, when all of the sudden...

Everything stopped.

The shaking, the loud rumbles, even her falling.

Opening her eyes, she found Rose grabbing her hand--practically crushing it--while her other hand held onto what remained of the railings to prevent herself from being dragged down by Olivia’s weight.

“I gotcha...” Rose grunted. She used both of her hands to pull Olivia back up, her grip was strong as her long nails dug into the girl’s arm.

Olivia tried to reach the staircase with her free hand to help Rose hoist her up so she wouldn’t be dangling uselessly. Once her hand felt the rugged wooden steps, she held on to it securely, hoping she wouldn’t get any bits of wood jabbed into her.

Taking a few steps back, Rose successfully brought the girl back up to the floor. Olivia looked back at the drop and her vision blurred some. It wasn’t a massive fall, but it was enough to cause a good amount of damage. Maybe crack her head open? Break a leg?

She saw parts of the column beneath her reduced into chunks of rocks scattered across the floor.

‘Don’t worry, it’s over with, you’re fine.’ Olivia reassured herself, her breath fast as she tried to recollect her thoughts that zoomed all around.

“You okay?” Rose brought Olivia back to reality, who nodded rapidly.

“Yea... Yes, thanks. Thank you.” she said, still shaken up. “I think that’s enough excitement for today.”

Maya looked down, leaning over the stone fence that surrounded the edge of the third floor, “You good???” her voice boomed through the hollow area.

“Yeah, some quake huh?” Rose said back, her head looking high up at her friend who didn’t really hear what she said clearly but nodded anyways and continued her book search.

“Can’t believe it took so long for this old place to finally fall apart some.” Stella chimed in.

‘Why are they acting like this is so normal,’ Olivia thought to herself as she watched the girls converse at completely different areas of the large library. ‘I’ve never felt the ground shake so much before. That was insane.’

Footsteps from the entrance could be heard along with huffs and puffs of air. Logan rushed in and zipped his head about; he froze when he saw the pieces of the stair’s support smashed. Adjusting his cap, he made his way over to the small scene to observe the damage that’d been done.

A long sigh left his mouth, “Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time... It’s going to take a little while to rebuild this but,” he gave a comforting smile “I’m glad to see you’re all in one piece!”

Logan speed walked back to where he came from,

“I’m going to alert the others about this, be safe!” his voice trailed off before he was out of sight.

He came and went so suddenly that no one had any time to respond. But there were other things to worry about. Olivia ran over to Rose’s side, attempting to regain her cool as quickly as the others just... Couldn’t. Throughout all of the adventures she’s been through, despite everything that she’s seen and experienced, she would still get so... Frightened, to put it nicely. If she had more time to prepare for these sorts of situations or was just better prepared in general, she’d be able to save herself or make herself useful instead of following everyone around like a lost puppy. But for now, there was nothing to work with, that’s why she needed to take full advantage of this current location.

“Hey, Rose, thanks for saving me back there again.”

“Cassie, you can call me Cassie Rose,” Rose said as she picked up a small stepping stool leaning against one of the bookcases and holding it against her chest, walking through the rows filled with thousands of books.

Olivia, a bit taken aback, “Shoot, I’m sorry-”

“No, no, no! Don’t be, I didn’t mean it in a bad way, we’re friends--even if you don’t exactly remember--my point is: You can call me Rose if you’d like.”

Each case had a little label--which contained specific orders of numbers and letters to keep everything organized--placed into the smooth, dark oak shelves. And right above those were thin, wooden strips of a lighter color nailed in. There were words written on them, some far more faded than others, but they were most likely labels to show which genre was where. Rose would scan the worn down signs as she walked.

“You probably got a little mixed up cause Aiden calls me that, didn’t you? He’s the only one that calls me that. Except a few other close friends but they rarely call me that...” She took a sharp turn to the left and caught Olivia off guard, causing her to skid to a halt and stumble her way around the corner to catch up.

Rose carried on, “Aiden’s pretty bad with names, he could only remember mine cause of my red hair. And it just sorta... Stuck with him.”

Pushing up her glasses up and setting the stool down, Cassie Rose began muttering the names under her breath while skimming the hundreds of titles before her. Olivia felt a strange presence in the red head’s voice. It sounded almost as if she were talking to a child with a more gentle tone compared to the cold, harshness that was delivered to Radar earlier.

Rose hopped up on the stool and grabbed a couple of books with titles that caught her attention and started piling them into her arms. She made her way down the row of dusty shelves, her hair would sometimes brush the tips of some of the shelves, causing dust to fly into the air and trail behind her.

Rose started out with three books. Which soon turned into five.

Then to eight.

Then to--

“Crud-!” Rose felt her foot get stuck in a small hole that blended in with the dark, old wooden floor resulting in her books flying across the thin hall. Cassie luckily saved herself by grabbing onto a nearby case, but watched the books fall and slam into the ground as their loud landings echoed. Olivia felt her face scrunch up.

Cassie Rose wasted no time.

She pushed up her glasses, sat down, and hurriedly picked them up.

Olivia joined in and started piling the books by her side.

“Let me carry some, I don’t want you to do all the work.” she said as she’d read the titles of whatever she could get her hands on.

“Thanks.” Cassie said through the sound of books shuffling.

Most of the books that Olivia could get her hands on were on the thinner side but were heavily worn down. While age did have a factor on the books’ duller colors, yellowed pages, and weakened spines, it was clear that these were used and checked out possibly hundreds of times. The old pages had been smoothed down, odd stains and blotches would decorate the covers while rips and tears would also stretch across them.

“The Progression of Portals”, a lightweight, purple and red book with a vague shape of a nether portal etched into the front.

“The Combinations of Enchantments” had it the worst out of the three books. Half of the title was torn and a giant, dark brown stain made it look as if that were its color.

The last book was nothing too interesting. Just a pale red cover, the book itself was filled with crafting recipes. However, it was written nearly a century ago. Suppose THAT’S interesting enough to warrant a raised eyebrow.

Neatly stacking the books, she carefully lifted the tower up and carefully balanced it as it leaned against her chest. Cassie Rose did the same, albeit in a sloppier manner.

She continued to select whatever caught her eye but walked slower, not wanting to recreate the same incident.

Olivia followed behind, a strand of her black hair got in her face and bounced about but she paid no mind to it as she felt a question make its way out of her mouth.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Just did.” Cassie stated.

She rolled her eyes and couldn’t help but smile.

“Hilarious. But what was with that horrible earthquake back there? Thanks again for saving me but none of you were too shaken up by it.”

Cassie Rose flashed her a quick confused and surprised look--as if Olivia had unknowingly said something derogatory--before picking up another book from the top of a shelf, gnawing the inside of her cheek lightly.

She blew some air out before spinning on her heel to face Olivia and continued to walk backwards.

“You know... Full moon? Quakes are the worst during a full or new moon. That’s why Logan gave us that warning. I mean it happens every night but that’s normal. Happens all the time.” She spoke as if this was supposed to spark something in Olivia’s mind.

Olivia shook her head as her hair batted her eyes, “I’m sorry. I don’t.”

There was an odd sense of guilt she felt even when she was speaking the truth. Watching Rose’s face fall and attempting to put it back together made her feel worse. Maybe she needed a reassuring lie to keep her moving, but as much Olivia hated the queasy stomach aches produced by her honesty, she knew lying wouldn’t make anything better.

Rose forced a chuckle out with no smile to accompany it.

“What? Are you serious? I thought you would! You were the one who helped us make a house structure sturdy enough to withstand the shaking!”

“I’ve never been to your house until tonight. It felt like walking into a strangers home-”

“Yes you have, Olivia. You’ve lived with us for years, can’t you try to recall anything at all?” Rose trembled, clearly holding more back with barely enough strength to do so.

“I don’t--”

“YES YOU DO. You SHOULD.” Rose rushed to Olivia’s face, her eyes unblinking and pleading.

“You lived with us, you’ve been with us for years--Are we THAT forgettable?”

Rose gripped the books as she tried to restrain herself. She knew that getting upset wouldn’t help, that it wouldn’t change the situation, but she couldn’t stop herself from venting to the clueless girl.

“I’m your friend and--And the fact you didn’t even... You didn’t even recognize me! Do you know how much that hurts?” her voice fell into a weary state.

Olivia blinked. Fazed by Cassie’s sudden burst but remained silent for a moment. There was nothing she could do, say, or think of that could comfort her.

“I don’t.” Olivia admitted.

She carefully set the books down and put hands in the pockets of the leather jacket.

“I think I’m going to walk around here... Just to have some time to myself.” Olivia didn’t wait for a response, instead, she turned and started walking--almost wanting to run away--from Cassie Rose.

Olivia heard Cassie’s defeated voice echo through the dim, hollow library.

“You do that.”

[altonadventures]

ALTON ADVENTURES BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

So...because its Friday and I usually update AA on Fridays, I figured it was time to make my big announcement! 

And that is...that Alton Adventures is changing. A little bit. 

Am I rebooted the comic again? No haha! Once I get back to it it shall continue as normal but some characters may look a bit different going forward. 

Who may those characters be?

Sir Gareth Nemesis 

Why is he changing? 

Sir Nemesis’ change is actually less drastic than one may think. For starters, he needed a design rehaul. I wanted his armor to be more simple, easier to draw but with still details that could tie him to Nemesis (the green eye, the arms, the light pink details instead of inconsistent tentacles). I also had an issue where his hair was too close to his skin color, so to combat this I turned him into a ginger! His eye color also changed from gold to green, another thing to visually tie him more to Nemesis. 

So yes, I changed Sir Nem’s design because I was unhappy with it. His armor was never drawn consistently ever, I was constantly changing the tone of his hair and his skin so that was inconsistent. I want my designs to be more consistent and polished going forward.

What else is different? Well, you can probably tell he looks much more serious, like in older pictures I drew of him. Why is that? Well, I was kind of..honestly tired of his role as the “dad character tm” that he kind of turned out to be. It almost undermined his true characterization and turned him into a typical over the top exaggerated hero character. And I started to realize how much I missed his original concept. A battle hardened solider that was filled with regret and remorse, who heavily sympathizes with the plight of the alien he’s locked in combat with. He’s still much a father however, as he has a biological son and adopts an alien who mimics his likeness (hence another reason he’s a ginger now as his Nemesis daughter always was one). He’s just returned to his roots as a character. Because I felt that characterization was a unique one for the Nemesis ride. And it was an idea I really loved. Sir Nemesis actually WAS one of my favorite characters...I wanted his role to be much larger than it is in the comics. I don’t blame anyone for him becoming a joke, I did initially kind of fuel the fire for it, I’m just hoping that its not to late to get back to the Sir Nemesis I originally wanted to write. And of course, all my characters are still meme and joke worthy. I just want to tackle much more serious issues with my comic and show the more serious side of some of my characters and don’t want there entire existence to be a joke Mr.S can’t have too many folks 1 uping him in the laughs department!  I guess to note with this change that his original voice claim has also been solidified as well. It’s a more somber and serious tone that I feel fits him as a character. 

Final Notes 

Sir Nemesis is a character that I have a lot of thought put into. His backstory is tragic, emotional, and his character is complex and he’s not the perfect hero people might image him as. I plan for his Arc to follow the Fireworks arc in the comic, as well as I am planning to start some more text heavy short stories about how the Secret Weapons became Secret Weapons (which I will likely call Secret Weapon Short Stories hehe) and will be writing his first. Also a very important thing i must address. Yes, the eye on his chest moves. (I have a gif but it doesn’t want to work on this post Ill have it up later ><)

Erica Annabelle Cloud 

ooof okay this is a huge one. Confession time. Erica was always my least favorite character. Why? She just had...no character. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with her, her design felt phoned in and there because I needed an Air/Galatica character, (yes, she is changing as her Galatica stage too). She was just. not well thought out. She had a dual identity but I think a lot of people didn’t pick up on that? She felt like a Rita 2.0 as just a nice and friendly optimistic person and literally had 0 backstory. Originally she was supposed to have had some sort of accident that turned her into Galatica and she had memory loss and forgotten about when she was Air, yeah it was a mess. That eventually just turned into Nebula Corona being a character she made up (bc her one trait was that she was into space and wrote a lot) that she played as when her rides themeing changed. 

She was just..barely a character and her design was abysmal (Her Galatica suit was okay but her Air outfit was an afterthought) She needed a massive visual upgrade. A sleeker flight suit that makes more sense (I used a ref or two for this design!) A different face shape to help her stand out more, my signature they wear glasses they have dot eyes look. Long, wispy, flowing hair to resemble those trails planes make. A bit more lanky and tall. And let me tell you I LOVE her design now. It looks so much more unique and you can just SEE she has so much more character now!  As for her characterization im going full into her being a nerd. A very tech nerd at that! She designed her suit to help her fly at her best, and eventually will be the one that designs and builds all her Galatica tech! Her Galatica design hasn’t been done yet, mostly bc I wanted to focus on her current comic canon design, but not much would change I feel with her upgrade anyways! She is effectively the brains of the group, and the others often turn to her for plans of attack when dealing with a situation, or innovative solutions to problems! I have yet to get a voice claim for her, but im sure one will come to me soon enough! 

Final Notes

Erica/Nebula was a character I struggled to connect with. Everyone else had Airs that were either super plot important, or just much more cool and creative in general. I felt, that with my Air/Galatica she was just there, and I wanted her to be more. So a full character rehaul was done with her and it makes me so happy. She feels much more fleshed out, better designed, and I’m super excited to do more stuff with her, and hopefully you will all see her much more now that I’m a lot happier with her as a character! <3 

Welp that's the end of the updates....wait. Hold on. I have something written here. What could this be? Oh! I remember now! 

Black Hole, AkA Beatrix, will be joining the MAIN CAST of Alton Adventures! 

When I drew my Black Hole design, I knew she was something special. She stands out compared to a lot of my characters, and her design SCREAMS main character. While the biggest main roles will still be held by Mr. S and Rita, I wanted to add another non SW coaster to the main crew, and because Canonically Corkscrew is MIA, Black Hole seemed like a fitting addition to the main crew! As she isn’t human, a species literally only referred to as Black Holes, I thought making her a main character and giving her a big arc would help flesh out the reality of non humans in Alton Adventures! Her powers and design and character and personality are just too fun to shove her into the background. I feel that adding her to the main cast gives them not only another character to support them, but a closer friend! You will all see her much more in the future for certain! 

Well that's about it! In terms of comic updates themselves...its still going to be hiatus as long as I’m being swamped with school work. I hope you all understand. I’ll try to squeeze in updates over the breaks I have IF im not working on assignments for class. As I also said, I wanna do short stories as well, to expand the world and explain it better, as a comic will only develop the world so quickly and lots of you have tons of questions! I also wanna do something animated at some point, that’s my dream. I’ve ALSO mentioned to some people about merch, likely going for making stickers first since that's simple. I got an excited reaction for that so I’ll come up with designs for them soon! I just wanna do a lot with Alton Adventures, because I know how much it means to people, and of course it means so much. Goodness I really need to actually get to this park, I look quiet silly constantly gushing over a themepark I’ve never been to all the time XP  That all aside I thank you all for sticking by me. I promise that even if I don’t do comic updates as frequently during the school year, I’ll still work to push out as much AA content I can outside of that! I’m always open to suggestions to what you guys want to see! ALSO, working on a big google doc spreadsheet with info on all the characters I’ll be posting when its more completed! So be on the lookout for that! 

Again thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me through this, Your support makes me feel nothing but proud of what I’ve created. These characters may have been created out of something some may consider silly or odd, but the only thing that matters to me if that I can make at least someone happy with what I create. 

Patreon (note that patrons got to see all of this content as it was being worked on!) l Ko-fi

[your-dietician]

Pregnancy, birth and fertility care need to be more gender inclusive, advocates say

New Post has been published on https://depression-md.com/pregnancy-birth-and-fertility-care-need-to-be-more-gender-inclusive-advocates-say/

Pregnancy, birth and fertility care need to be more gender inclusive, advocates say

TORONTO — Fertility, pregnancy and childbirth are not solely experienced by women, and advocates and experts say that it’s time to change the narrative to be more gender inclusive.

From patient intake forms to online forums and communities, pregnancy is portrayed as something that only happens for women, more often than not excluding non-binary and trans people, and advocates say this exclusion isn’t always accidental.

“It’s often a lot more active, intentional and hostile and often coming from a place where people would call themselves inclusive, or equitable or feminists, but are also trans exclusionary,” Anna Penner, non-binary gestational parent of three, and Seed and Sprout program ambassador and birth and postpartum doula with Birth Mark, told CTVNews.ca in a Zoom interview on Friday.

From the first online search for fertility and pregnancy related information, it’s nearly impossible to avoid gendered terms.

“When you Google anything to do with pregnancy or childbirth you automatically get guided to these places and spaces that only use binary language,” Gabrielle Griffith, a non-binary parent, co-ordinator and doula with Seed and Sprout, told CTVNews.ca in a Zoom interview on Friday.

Terms like ‘mamas,’ ‘papas,’ ‘ladies,’ and the like are frequently used in pregnancy and fertility related forums. Entire groups dedicated to mothers and fathers exclude non-binary people entirely. But it’s not just gendered terms like these that make these spaces fraught with gender.

“Lots of spaces talk about pregnancy being the utmost feminine experience, and what it means to be a woman and all of these things that are inherently problematic for a lot of reasons,” said Griffith. “One of those reasons being that it is not inclusive, and it’s also not true.”

Griffith said that there’s a lack of education and awareness that results in these female-centric education and online resources.

“Which is what really inspired the Seed and Sprout community program that we have here at Birth Mark Support, which is completely focused on queer and trans-affirming reproductive care, education and support,” they added.

Like gender, not everyone’s experience with fertility and pregnancy is the same. Griffith was young when they became pregnant, adding another stigma to their experience, whereas Penner sought fertility treatments though a fertility clinic.

“I was 30 when I first got pregnant, and I got pregnant through a fertility clinic using an anonymous donor,” Penner said.

But finding a queer friendly fertility clinic was difficult for Penner and her partner. They used the knowledge collected by their friends and community who’d gone through similar processes to find a fertility clinic that would be inclusive, but even then the experience wasn’t ideal.

“Even when I chose that most inclusive space, it was still really not,” Penner said.

Penner also emphasized and acknowledged her own privilege in being a white middle-class person who is able to access services like fertility care.

Patients at fertility clinics don’t always see the same doctor or nurse practitioner on each visit, making it difficult for Penner to prepare for what she was going to experience each time. Even after the birth of her first child, struggling with undiagnosed postpartum depression they didn’t know where to turn and had no choice but to turn to the communities they didn’t fit into.

“Trying to find a community and build community because I was feeling really isolated as a new parent who was dealing with some postpartum depression undiagnosed, and every space being mamas, not even mamas and papas because there are no dads in this space, it’s all just mama,” said Penner.

But Penner felt that she either needed to fit into the mould of these communities, or have no community at all.

“Just like feeling really like the sore thumb in all of these spaces, but not being able to articulate it, because I was a new parent, I didn’t have the bandwidth, I didn’t have another community to go to,” Penner said. “So it was either squeeze myself into those spaces that didn’t fit, or have no space at all.”

These situations can be all the more difficult for people living outside of cities, in smaller towns or rural areas where queer and trans-affirming care isn’t even an afterthought.

“It’s weird to say that pregnancy is gatekept like that, but there are a lot of people that are just like, ‘Oh no, if you’re not a mother like, what are you even doing getting pregnant?’” LA Kress, a non-binary soon-to-be-parent based in Kitchener, Ont., told CTVNews.ca in a phone interview on July 6.

And they’re not expecting to get exemplary care in terms of gender inclusivity when they do give birth — already they anticipate being misgendered in hospital and has dealt with it throughout their pregnancy.

“The pronoun thing is just, you have to toss that out the window because it’s not happening,” said Kress.

They hope that when they are in labour they’ll have a young doctor or nurse on their team who will advocate for them and make sure to use correct pronouns, but even watching birthing videos online they said there’s a lot of ‘you go girl!’ and gendered cheering that takes place.

They said their partner will be there to support them and correct people for using the incorrect pronouns, and also calm them if incorrect pronouns are used, but ideally gendered language stays out of the delivery room.

“I just know that that’s going to be ringing in the back of my head,” Kress said.

Despite not feeling included in the space, they still peruse the pregnancy forums that use gendered terms, but they participate in them in a different way.

“It’s like when you read a book and you put yourself into the first person,” Kress said. “You just have to be like, ‘OK let’s just separate this from who I am, they’re not writing directly to me’.”

But this unnecessary gendering of fertility, pregnancy and childbirth extends well beyond a doctor’s office or online forum. The world, in general, expects a pregnant woman.

“What I found really difficult was that the world wasn’t made to fit the intersection of my gender, and my pregnancies,” said Penner.

Many pregnancy related items, including clothing, are not made for non-binary people or transmen.

“Maternity clothing, total nightmare, finding anything to wear for five to nine months was just completely terrible, impossible and dysphoric, so it wasn’t my body it was what was there to fit my body,” Penner said.

Nursing and lactating was also very difficult for Penner, but it was something she couldn’t share in many of the communities online that are so heavily focused on women.

“Postpartum I found nursing really dysphoric,” Penner said. “I found those changes and lactation really dysphoric and didn’t have space to express that.”

When a health-care provider told them that they were a “natural” at nursing, for Penner it felt anything but.

“In that moment, it felt like the least natural thing that had ever happened to my body, but that assumption that it was something that would just be fine, really came up against my experience, but prevented me from then talking about it,” she said. “Having been told it was natural, and it was great and everything was going great, I didn’t feel like there was actually any space to voice my experience or my discomfort.”

Griffith agreed, using their body to feed their baby was an uncomfortable experience.

“It almost always led to a disassociation. Maybe that was postpartum, maybe that was gender feels,” they said. “I think I’ll never really know because I didn’t have the space to talk to people about it and process it while it was happening in real time. “

Despite all of this, pregnancy and birth helped affirm Griffith’s gender.

“My pregnancy and birthing my baby and raising my kiddo helped me come to a clear awareness of being non-binary,” they said.

CLINICAL REPRESENTATION

Gendered language is just one small hurdle that trans and non-binary people face when navigating fertility, pregnancy and birth. Medical spaces like hospitals and clinics have been notoriously unsafe spaces for queer individuals.

“There’s the general health-care barriers, which are many. There’s a limited availability and visibility of trans-competent and trans-positive services,” Dr. Helena Frecker, a Toronto-based OB/GYN, told CTVNews.ca in a phone interview on July 1.

There’s also a lack of training and sensitivity among staff in the health-care setting, she added, but there’s also a lack of competency on trans health care where trans people often have to educate their health-care providers on how to properly care for them.

There are also structural barriers, said Frecker.

“Gendered washrooms, intake forms that don’t allow for people to indicate pronouns, or if it’s different from their health card, really sort of inappropriate relationship status, such as only married or single,” she added.

And it doesn’t stop there — technological barriers are also in place.

“Like in electronic medical records, the inability to even put a name aside from the name that’s on the health card,” she said.

There’s also the question of trans fertility, which is an under-researched area.

A study conducted by Boston IVF found that trans people using testosterone still had good ovarian reserves and could produce eggs for freezing or to use for in-vitro fertilization procedures, in which eggs are retrieved from the ovaries and at a later date an embryo is placed in the uterus to grow. But even this isn’t a guarantee.

“Starting puberty blockers at a young age before puberty can irreversibly affect the ability for people to be able to harvest their own sperm or eggs later in life,” said Frecker.

Trans people are usually encouraged by their doctors to undergo fertility preservation procedures before beginning hormones, but these procedures are costly and are only covered under government health insurance in Ontario, and those come with a wait time.

People who go ahead with hormones prior to fertility preservation services, whether it be to save up for the cost, while they wait on a waitlist or they’ve changed their mind about biological children, will have to go off of the hormones in order to retrieve eggs or bank sperm, said Frecker.

“If I had to lay out all of the barriers for people accessing fertility therapy I would say that one of the biggest ones is coming off of gender affirming therapy or delaying its initiation,” she said.

In 2019, according to CARTR Plus data provided to CTVNews.ca, of 35,896 IVF cycles, 58 patients who used their own sperm were female and 14 patients who used their own eggs were male. Fewer than six people who did IVF that year identified as non-binary and 5,008 people didn’t specify gender. However, the data collected by CARTR Plus, a registry of Canadian fertility treatment data, does not directly capture those who identify as transgender so this data may not represent all transgender people who used IVF fertility treatments.

Eileen McMahon, a nurse practitioner at Mount Sinai Fertility and former president of the Canadian Fertility and Andrology Society, works directly with patients banking eggs and sperm for fertility preservation. She said that a lot of the clinics are different in their clinical practices when treating trans people who’ve been on hormones.

For trans women who want to bank sperm but have been using hormone replacement therapy (HRT), they would have to go off of hormones for three to four months, she said, and there’s no guarantee that break in hormones would result in viable sperm. For trans men, going off hormones would be just four weeks at Mount Sinai, she added, but some clinics want HRT to stop three to four months before treatment and others retrieve eggs while patients are still on testosterone.

“The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), they have standards of care that clearly articulate that anybody starting gender affirming hormones needs to be counselled about the risk to their fertility,” said McMahon.

At Mount Sinai, they’ve seen an increase in these types of referrals which McMahon said shows that people are heading this advice.

“Our referrals have definitely increased in the last couple of years, but many are quite young, and they’re not in a place where they know whether they want biological children,” she said. “They’re not sure whether they want to go through this.”

Egg retrieval can be quite invasive; it involves vaginal ultrasounds, taking hormones so the ovaries produce multiple eggs, and retrieval involves inserting a needle into the vagina to collect the eggs from each ovary, all of which McMahon says can be a triggering experience.

“Some of them have never had anything internally in their life and the prospect of having ultrasounds and a procedure is quite scary for them,” she said. “And some trans women aren’t able to masturbate a sample.”

LANGUAGE MATTERS

While changing the language is just a part of changing the narrative of who accesses fertility, pregnancy and birthing services, it is an important step.

“I think that using inclusive terminology doesn’t take away from the experiences of people who are female-identified, I think it allows for everyone to feel more included and more reflected in the care that can be provided to them,” said Frecker.

“The UN has a system wide strategy on gender parity and they say that given the role of language in shaping cultural and social attitudes, using gender-inclusive language is a powerful way to promote gender equality,” McMahon said.

She emphasized what Dr. Muna Abdi once tweeted: “It is not Inclusion if you are inviting people into a space you are unwilling to change.” (https://twitter.com/muna_abdi_phd/status/1406236697306804224?lang=en)

“It doesn’t mean we can’t also talk about women’s experiences, it doesn’t require the negation of femaleness,” she added. “It just means we accept that women’s rights need not be one at the expense of other people, and when we are inclusive we’re including all those people we’re not erasing anyone.”

There is a belief among some women, particularly among trans exclusionary radical feminists, that using gender-inclusive language, such as pregnant people instead of pregnant women or pregnancy care instead of maternity care, erases women, but McMahon says that’s not the case.

For Penner, this sort of exclusionary attitude is more difficult than some of the other hurdles, and emphasizes the need to go beyond just using inclusive language.

“That can be a lot harder to combat when it’s not just omission, but a real refusal to be inclusive in the space, to even consider the possibility,” she said.

For Kress, it’s frustrating when people believe this line of thinking, because it doesn’t stop anyone from identifying, or being, a mother.

“That makes me angry and it’s like, why are you including yourself in something that doesn’t apply to you? If you like the word mother, great, I love that for you, but maybe I want to just be the parent. What’s so bad about that?” 

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[cloverorgan83-blog]

QUEENS 1930s

I’ve begun to think about “stuff” lately.

Forgotten New York celebrated its 20th anniversary this year, and I didn’t start on it until 1998, when I was 40 years old. This was just a few years after the World Wide Web started getting really popular; had the internet been around in the 1970s, think of how large Forgotten NY would be by now. If you’re keeping score there are 3,715 separate posts, which consist of tens of thousands of images, if you estimate ten images per page (many posts have one image but many have 100!) To cut to the chase, I’m thinking about legacy. In the immediate offing, I’m covered by the Greater Astoria Historical Society, which will continue the hosting if I’m run over by a streetcar or something. Long-term? I’m 61 now (in 2019), and hope to do this as long as I’m physically able. My energy levels are still as good as ever — I do a lot of walking and bicycling, though I can’t walk 20+ miles a day like some friends (to my frustration).

How will Forgotten New York be remembered when it ceases everyday production? Well, as a photographer and chronicler of New York city infrastructure, I’d be honored to be whispered about in the same breath as photographers Percy Loomis Sperr, Eugene Armbruster, Edgar “E.E.” Rutter, and the anonymous photographers who shot every property in New York City for tax purposes; their work can be found in the New York Public Library archives and in the NYC Municipal Archives. Their photography was primarily documentarian over esthetic: there wasn’t a budding Ansel Adams in the bunch. For esthetics, you’d be advised to turn to Berenice Abbott, who deftly managed to combine both everyday chronicling and beautiful photography, having been influenced by the great Parisian art photographer Eugene Atget and by artists Man Ray and Marcel Duchamp. I don’t aspire to Abbott’s artistry, but I certainly aspire to the great documentary powers the other photographers I mentioned were able to achieve.

Remember, photography was an expensive, cumbersome business for all mentioned above. I have a camera with a small, thin chip in it that can record over 1,000 pictures depending on its setting, as well as a portable telephone that has an excellent camera almost as an afterthought. Street photography has never been easier. As far as modern work goes there’s Matt Weber, one of the best New York street photographers, and for night photography the best I’ve seen is Mitch Waxman, who sticks mainly to western Queens, especially the Newtown Creek area.

A few years ago, I got my mitts on nearly 1,000 photographs taken all over Queens between 1929 and 1940 primarily as a method of recording recent street paving jobs. Thus, the focus is on roadways, either those recently repaved or are about to be repaved. Everything else seemed to be done as a sidelight though, as you’ll see, some fascinating building interiors were also recorded as part of the project. I have a somewhat busy weekend with a tour scheduled, so I thought I would take a few of these and scribble something about what I’m seeing in each.

164th Street at Jewel Avenue, looking north, July 7, 1936

In the late 19th and early 20th Century, a trolley line connected Flushing and Jamaica, running originally through the farms and fields of Fresh Meadows. The above image was captured at 164th Street and Jewel Avenue in 1936, just a few months before service ended in 1937. In short order, the tracks were pulled up, the weeds paved over, a center median added, and 164th Street became the fast and furious stretch we know it as today between Flushing Cemetery and the Grand Central Parkway.

South of Grand Central Parkway the trolley line veered off 164th and rode on its own right of way to a terminal on Jamaica Avenue at about 160th Street. In the decades since, most of this trolley route has been either eliminated or hidden pretty well, but the four-lane width of 164th Street is a legacy of the route. As you can se there was one lane of traffic on the east side of the street, with the rest taken up by trolley tracks. This photo was about a year before service ended, and the line seems to be in decline, with plants and weeds sprouting between the tracks. For more information see Stephen Meyers’ book, Lost Trolleys of Queens and Long Island.

In the photo, the lengthy building seen on the right distance is still there in 2019.

Jewel Avenue is an unusual named street that runs from Forest Hills across Flushing Meadows-Corona Park all the way to Fresh Meadows. It’s the only remnant of a group of streets east of Queens Boulevard in Forest Hills named in alphabetical order that turn up on maps from the early 20th Century. The streets in sequence were named Atom, Balfour, Chittenden, DeKoven, Euclid, Fife, Gown, Harvest, Ibis, Jewel, Kelvin, Livingston, Meteor, Nome, Occident, Pilgrim, Quality, Ruskin, Sample, Thurman, Uriu, Verona, Webb, and Zuni; it’s likely the streets were only on the planning boards till they were built mid-century, by which time they carried the numbers (68th Road, 68th Drive etc) they do today. I don’t know why the Jewel Avenue name was kept; it’s one of the few non-numbered streets, along with Northern Blvd. and Roosevelt Avenue, that cross Flushing Meadows-Corona Park.

The above photo was taken by the Somach Photographic Company, which also did a large amount of work recording what NYC streets looked like in the 1930s.

Ocean Promenade (Rockaway Beach Boardwalk) at Beach 101 Street

I cropped out the date on this photo to get my optimum width, but again, it’s sometime in the mid-1930s in late April. The season is just getting started at Gobel’s hot dog and hamburger stand. Note the barrel that was used to dispense Hires’ Root Beer. Silex coffeemakers debuted in 1915 and merged with Proctor Electric in 1960, creating the Proctor Silex company, which merged with Hamilton Beach in 1990.

The photos have largely yet to see the light, but in October 2018 I walked the length of the Rockaway Beach boardwalk, which aside from a short section by Riis Park near the Marine Parkway (Gil Hodges) Bridge, runs continuously from Beach 126th to Beach 9th Street (numbered streets on the peninsula get bigger from east to west). In 2012, Hurricane Sandy did a number on the old wooden boardwalk and it needed to be rebuilt virtually for its entire length. It’s now a state of the art seaside walk, but at the loss of the old “boardwalk” feel as synthetic materials were used instead of good old wood planks.

What is also missing are boardwalk-side vendors like this; I have a wealth of photos depicting these stands which numbered in the dozens. What happened to them? The closure of the Rockaway Playland amusement park in the early 1980s didn’t help, and today, not one remains. Also: “Specifically [Robert Moses’] 1939 road to nowhere called Shore Front Parkway. As part of the construction, no businesses or dwellings were allowed within 200′ of the boardwalk and a lot of homes, businesses and about half of Playland. 

Capitol Diner, Lawrence Street, February 18, 1932

This E.E. Rutter photo of a roadside railroad-car style diner was taken in an era when fast food franchises such as Starbucks and McDonalds did not exist. Yet it can be said that the Dunkin’ Donuts of the world are the direct descendants of such road food stands, which evolved into steel and chrome diners. Such diners are now themselves dying out, as their owners retire and developers prefer to build multistory buildings in their footprints.

Yet, these small diners, the earliest of which were located in decommissioned railroad cars, were nearly ubiquitous even in downtown areas in the 1930s and 1940s; they’re all over scenes in the Municipal Archives linked above.

In 1969, the Department of Traffic (now Transportation) decided to rename 122nd Street, College Point Causeway, Lawrence Street, and Rodman Street under the single moniker College Point Boulevard. a short stub still bears the name Lawrence Street in Queensboro Hill. You have to be a little careful with the labeling on these photos; the “College Point Causeway” moniker only applied to the current stretch of College Point Boulevard on the diagonal stretch between 26th Avenue and the Whitestone Expressway; south of that, the bulk of the road was called Lawrence Street and that’s where this photo was likely taken.

On the ads, the Willys-Knight Company produced autos between 1915 and 1933. Willys, named for John Willys, developed one of the first “jeeps” used in World War II and the brand name survived until the late 1950s and a series of mergers. The Whippet was a popular model named for the racing dogs, in production between 1926 and 1931. And,

The Scranton & Lehigh Coal Company was one of Pennsylvania’s large coal companies, supplying the Northeast with anthracite and other coal products. The engines that powered Brooklyn ran on coal; everything from heating homes and apartments, to heating the offices, schools, and churches of the borough, to the huge boilers that powered the many factories in the city. Coal was the fuel that kept it all going until well after World War II. Even today, a coal furnace still turns up here and there; they were long lasting, powerful, but simple heat producers. [Brownstoner]

“Theater building,” Lawrence Street, February 19, 1932

Another Rutter photo from the same period, also labeled College Point Causeway, shows a former domicile that has been turned into a billboard for several local movie theaters and the features playing at the time.

On the top floor are bills advertising the Taft Theatre, opened on Main Street in 1917 Flushing and renamed after President William Howard Taft, who passed away in 1930. It was a first run theater, but could not compete with the nearby RKO Keiths and Prospect Theatres, and closed in 1955. Both the Keiths and the Prospect survived until the mid-1980s: the RKO Keiths shell building is still on Main and Roosevelt Avenue, awaiting redevelopment. The Loew’s Valencia in Jamaica has been a church for several decades, but its near-phantamagorical detail has been preserved.

As far as the features go, The Champ was a 1931 film directed by King Vidor about a broken-down boxer played by Wallace Beery (who won the Best Actor Academy Award) and his son, played by Jackie Cooper, who had a lengthy career: he played Daily Planet editor Perry White 47 years later in the first Christopher Reeve Superman. Little-remembered today, Marie Dressler earned a Best Actress nomination in Emma.

Newsstand, Cross Island Boulevard, July 22, 1938

This photo is slugged “Cross Island Boulevard” which is the former name of Francis Lewis Boulevard; when the Cross Island Parkway was built in the late 1930s, Cross Island Boulevard was renamed shortly afterward to avoid confusion.

Depicted is a typical newsstand of the period. The top shelf is full of romance and movie magazines, few of which survive today. Titles such as Popular Science, Better Homes and Gardens and Good Housekeeping are still in business today, but none of the newspapers shown, The Long Island Daily Star, The New York Sun, and the North Shore Daily Journal, are. The New York Sun was revived as a daily in the 2000s and still exists in online form.

Laurel Hill Boulevard and 47th Street, March 28, 1938

Nothing in this photo remains; the buildings on both sides have long been razed, and Laurel Hill Boulevard is now the service road on either side of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. Changes were soon to come to this placid scene as the first Kosciuszko Bridge was spanning over Newtown Creek and the BQE was planned to connect Brooklyn and Queens. Once in Queens, the BQE was slated to follow the diagonal route of Laurel Hill Boulevard between the creek and Queens Boulevard, whereupon it would turn north to fork into two sections at Grand Central Parkway.

Laurel Hill Boulevard, named for a small neighborhood in Queens between Calvary Cemetery and 50th Street north of the LIRR Montauk tracks, dates back to the colonial era when it was paved with shells and known as Shell Road. It skirts the right end of Calvary Cemetery before following the BQE to Queens Boulevard.

James Gilder Bar & Grill, March 30, 1938

The James Gilder bar was located in one of the buildings depicted in 1938 that would soon give way to BQE construction.

Interborough Parkway, Cypress Hills Cemetery, January 27, 1932

The Jackie Robinson Parkway along with the Grand Central were the first of NYC’s “parkways” providing express (more or less) auto through-routing built within New York City. The “Jackie” unusually begins at the confluence of Jamaica and Pennsylvania Avenues in East New York, twisting through a convoluted route through the “cemetery belt” and Forest Park at the Brooklyn-Queens border, meeting the Grand Central at Flushing Meadows.

Here it is pictured as it was constructed in Cypress Hills Cemetery on January 27, 1932 in an E.E. Rutter photograph. Rutter chronicled the “Jackie,” which was called the Interboro Parkway until 1997 when it was renamed in honor of the first African American major league baseball player, who himself is interred in Cypress Hills. The parkway was rebuilt to handle modern traffic volumes from 1987-1992, eliminating the last traces of the original railings and overpasses seen here.

Metropolitan Beer Gardens, Metropolitan Avenue at Union Turnpike, June 28, 1933

Before the Interborough Parkway opened in 1935, narrow, two-lane Metropolitan Avenue was one of the main traffic routes connecting the Brooklyn waterfront and Jamaica. It was constructed as the Williamsburg and Jamaica Turnpike during the James Madison presidential administration in the 1810s and renamed Metropolitan Avenue after the Civil War. Union Turnpike (its name suggests it was originally tolled, as Metropolitan avenue had been) is a somewhat newer route and remained incomplete until the early 20th Century as an extension of Union Avenue, originally a short route in Glendale.

In the early 1930s, the Interborough Parkway was under construction, paralleling Union Turnpike for a portion of its route. No trace of the Metropolitan Beer Gardens exists today, and either the parkway construction or Prohibition (repealed in December 1933) may have done it in; beer gardens around town either went the speakeasy route or sold “near-beer” containing less than 0.5% alcohol by volume.

PS 63, October 30, 1929

Public School 63, which still exists today in a newer building (a massive edifice at Sutter Avenue between 90th and 91st Streets in Ozone Park) is pictured in a 1929 photo by E.E. Rutter. Though it’s slugged “Linden Boulevard” I can’t be sure it was located on that street as in the early 20th Century, Linden Boulevard, which has its origins miles to the west in Flatbush, was extended east through Queens in a halfhearted fashion; today Linden Boulevard exists in a number of separate pieces in Ozone Park, regaining traction for good in South Jamaica, where it runs continuously into Elmont in Nassau County along the former route of Central Avenue.

I suspect this photo was taken on Old South Road which decades ago was renamed in sections as Pitkin Avenue and Albert Road. Indeed, the present PS 63 is called the Old South School, which might cement it for you.

Soda Candy, Rockaway Beach Boulevard, April 26, 1938

Though Rockaway Beach Boulevard was rerouted in the 1970s a block north of this location and given extra lanes, a short, one-block stretch was left over and actually this portion of the road still exists. One thing you notice about this corner grocery is the Meadow Gold Ice Cream “privilege sign” in which a company would pay for a sidewalk sign, provided its product was prominently shown on the sign (several Coca-Cola signs around town in this category still exist. Meadow Gold, which also distributes other dairy products, is still found in several parts of the country.

Smith Brothers Ice Cream, Ditmars Boulevard and 23rd Avenue, East Elmhurst

One such Coca-Cola “privilege sign” can be found at this roadside grocery at Ditmars Boulevard and 23rd Avenue near Glenn Curtiss Airport, now LaGuardia Airport. In the forefront is a placard for Smith Brothers Ice Cream, a popular brand in the early 20th Century. This brand was not originated by the bearded fellows on the cough drop boxes, but company scion Richard Smith developed the Früsen-Gladjé, Chipwich, Eskimo Pie and other dessert brands.

Van Wyck Expressway at 95th Avenue, September 7, 1934

The furiously mustachioed Robert Anderson Van Wyck was the first mayor of Greater New York, serving from 1898-1901. His involvement with American Ice, a monopoly in the necessary commodity before the age of universal refrigeration, cost him his political career. Nonetheless when a major route was built between Jamaica Avenue and Rockaway Boulevard in the early 20th Century it received his name, Van Wyck Boulevard.

In the early 1950s, NYC traffic czar Robert Moses built the Van Wyck Expressway along this route from Flushing Meadows south to Idlewild, now JFK Airport. The west side of Van Wyck Boulevard was retained, while everything on the east side was demolished; the buildings ween on the right side of the photo at 95th Avenue still stand. Since hundreds of residences were retained this is one of the few Expressways in NYC that have numbered addresses.

Van Wyck likely pronounced his name with a long “why” but today, most locals use the WICK pronunciation.

Lawrence Street (College Point Boulevard) at 36th Avenue, February 18, 1932

The Flushing Main Street station is so-called because there used to be a Flushing Bridge Street station located on the Long Island Rail Road Whitestone Branch, which operated from the mid-1800s to 1932, branching from the Port Washington line at Flushing Meadows and running north and east to Whitestone Landing at the East River at 152nd Street. After the LIRR unsuccessfully tried selling the line to NYC to operate as a subway line (presumably a connection would be made to the Flushing Line, today’s #7 train) the LIRR shut it down for nonridership.

This photo shows the branch as it crossed Lawrence Street, now College Point Boulevard; the Flushing Bridge Street station was just east of here. When the tracks and signals were cleared away, the one-block stretch of King Road would replace them.

Gas station, Whitestone Parkway, July 27, 1937

Among the items seen are a coin-operated public telephone, a Gulf calendar, and an ad for the upcoming World’s Fair to be held in Flushing Meadows in 1939. The Parkway gained expressway status some years after the Whitestone Bridge opened in the mid-1930s.

I’ll get back to recent photos — but from time to time, I’ll be showing some of these classics to indicate how much has changed and how much has stayed the same. You can find much more in the book I wrote with GAHS, Forgotten Queens.

Check out the ForgottenBook, take a look at the gift shop, and as always, “comment…as you see fit.”

5/19/19

Source: https://forgotten-ny.com/2019/05/queens-1930s/

[comeonthinkers]

My Trip to Disneyland

Recently I took a trip to California for Grad School. I was asked to write a reflection on how storytelling is realized in the Disney Parks, and I ended up just critiquing the parks a whole bunch. But I’m really proud of my paper, so I thought I’d post it here!

So here goes:

When analyzing how theme parks craft a story, it is essential that one begin with The Walt Disney Company and its properties. Disney very much created the idea of a truly “themed” park: one in which every element is designed to create a world unto itself, and to allow its patrons to forget the world outside the park gates. However, Walt Disney never would have been able to create such a place if he hadn’t first animated stories that became ingrained in the childhood memories of the majority of Americans. Walt Disney Studios gave fairy tales new life by fleshing out their characters and plots for the silver screen- and audiences craved the opportunity to step inside those fairytale worlds for themselves. John Gardner wrote that plot “transforms [a character] from a static construct to a lifelike human being,” and in many ways this is precisely what Walt Disney Studios did with the mostly flat morality tales of the Brothers Grimm in the early days of animation. It’s a shame, however, that the Walt Disney Company’s ability to flesh out character and plot hasn’t truly materialized in its parks.

There is no main character, and thus, no main plot, in the world of Disneyland. I believe the biggest risk that Disneyland takes in its theme park storytelling is combining all of their intellectual properties into one park. While one could argue it may be the most economical and profit-yielding way to do it, I found during my walk-throughs of the parks that it becomes impossible to be engrossed in a story when there are too many stories happening at once.

The greatest mythos that Disney created in Disneyland was Mainstreet USA. In many ways, the true attraction of Disneyland is the land itself: the environment in which all the attractions reside. The reason why Mainstreet USA is so successful in its world creation is because it creates the setting in which you- the audience- are also the main character. This land is your chance to explore, and create a story for yourself: your day at Disneyland with your family. It is the entrance of the park: and it immediately integrates the parkgoers into a fantasy: what it’s like to be the American Dream-er ä living the American Dream ä, which becomes essential in crafting one’s enjoyment of the park. A true American is a consumer, a dreamer, and doesn’t think about the day-to-day struggles of the world beyond. Mainstreet USA gives you permission to inhabit “the very life of fiction” as Gardner puts it, and Disneyland is your setting, and your plot is what you choose to make it as you wander through the park.

But once you leave the beautiful and uniformed simplicity of idealized Americana, your position as the lead character in your own story begins to disintegrate. Perhaps this is influenced by my own experience with the parks, attending only as an adult and never as a child, but as the worlds focus more and more on the intellectual properties of The Walt Disney Company, the less I, as an attendee, am able to see where exactly I fit into the story. I find myself asking, who lives here? Who is the main character of this world? I lose the story when I lose my place within it: I found myself most enjoying the areas of the park without rides or attractions or stores: the transitional walkways. They were the places in which I was able to return to the lead character in my own Disney movie, instead of a bystander in someone else’s. Which begs the question: am I doing it wrong? In which story am I supposed to be participating when at Disneyland?

One of the factors contributing to this identity crisis is the distinct design difference between the original areas of Disneyland and the newer renovated lands of the park. Although themed differently, the four original lands of the park excel in their ability to present a “main street” of their own: a familiar orienting point of reference from which attendees can appreciate the differences between each land. We recognize the paved or cobbled walkway, the stores and buildings to either side, the bridges crossing the stream. We can observe and imagine from the safety of the path before embarking on the next “adventure,” when we transport ourselves into a ride or a store. And even then: the rides and stores are integrated into the main path. Each patron in line can see the Pirates of the Caribbean boats curve their way through New Orleans, The Mark Twain steamboat and the Jolly Roger sail by Frontierland, allowing the guests to observe one another. The best way in which Disneyland expands the worlds of its characters and properties is in setting creation: once you cross any threshold in Disneyland, you are truly transported to a new chapter of your story. However, it can be almost disorienting to find yourself in a new place each time you cross under an archway- which can also dull the “vivid and continuous” dream Disney has created. Where am I now? Am I lost? How do I get back?

What I appreciate about the older areas of the park is their size: the smaller stores and walkways allow us to keep tabs on where we are in relation to the street, and our group, and the other guests: as the lands expanded into the newer areas of the park it became harder to keep track of where exactly I was. It became easier and easier to get lost in the stores- as they continued to grow and fill with increasingly repetitious merchandise. All of which was centered around equally repetitious intellectual properties. The most clear indication of the story I was entering was whichever story’s merchandise was lining the shelves around me.

This brings me to the newest land attraction to Disneyland: Galaxy’s Edge. Dwarfing the scope of every other land in the park by about 50%, the environmental design is remarkable. Like the other lands, it too has its “main street”, shrouded from the California sunlight by other-worldly faux rock structures, making one truly feel like they are on another planet. It was easy to see why Star Wars fans were smitten with the very streets in which they stood: at last, there was a setting in which they could safely explore the terrors of their favorite fantasy world. I’d argue its easier for an adult to pretend to be Luke Skywalker, beginning his journey as a virtual nobody in a harsh world, than say… Peter Pan or Cinderella, if given the appropriate setting. And I feel Disney has taken a huge leap in creating a world that can “enable our ‘vivid and continuous dream’” and “satisfy the transmedia appetite” of adult consumers- and not just children. The scale of Galaxy’s Edge indeed gives away its core audience: while Sleeping Beauty’s castle or the forced perspective of Main Street USA may be imposing and grand to a 5-year-old, it’s merely cute to someone who has grown past four feet tall. There is nothing “cute” about the imposing red cliffs of Galaxy’s Edge.

But here is where, analyzing the worldbuilding and storytelling of Disneyland, I’m torn. Whereas the world design of Galaxy’s Edge was some of the best in the park (even the bathrooms— I excitedly exclaimed to the cohort upon exit— fit the theme of the park!), the storytelling was some of the weakest. Our entire group was disappointed in the main ride of the challenge (based on piloting the Millennium Falcon). While cool in concept, assigning tasks to the riders served better to take us out of the world than to welcome us into it. We were distracted from the story of the ride and faced with our own inadequacies as players of the ride, which began to gnaw at the suspension of my disbelief. I would have been happier to merely explore the Millennium Falcon as a world in itself, much like a museum attraction, rather than slap some light-up buttons on a pastiche with a CGI movie of knock-off characters playing in the background. Again, I was no longer the main character of my own Star Wars-themed story: I was an afterthought in Han Solo’s. While Disneyland excels in its worldbuilding, it fails spectacularly in its expansion of its properties through story rides. Half of Tomorrowland is home to giant, vacant buildings that once held rides that are too expensive to reimagine. Disney’s most famous thrill ride (Space Mountain) takes place in a black hole— literally just darkness and fairy lights, unrelated to any of Disney’s actual IP’s. Which perhaps might be why some of its most-loved attractions serve to chauffeur you through its worlds (Pirates of the Caribbean, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, It’s a Small World, etc.) rather than create a narrative in which you can take part. These rides, in which you can point and laugh, absorb and share with family and friends: these fit into the narrative you created for yourself in Main Street USA. Being ushered through a Guitar Hero-esque series of button prompts in a facsimile of the Millennium Falcon… just doesn’t.

The designers of Disneyland may be brainstorming how to fix these bugs in California Adventure. My favorite rides of the day: Guardians of the Galaxy, Cars, and the Incredicoaster, all did a great job of telling a story within a ride, and using the ride itself to tell the story. In the Cars ride, you find yourself speeding through Lightning McQueen’s story, while getting to appreciate the beauty of Radiator Springs and the thrill of the race: the ride uses the fact that it is a ride to better illustrate the plot of the story, even ending with a photo finish and Lightning McQueen saying that he’ll always have a soft spot in his heart for Radiator Springs. Like Mainstreet USA, the Cars “land,” while a cut-and-paste recreation of the town from the movie, nods its head once more to an idealized American town (albeit from a very particular part of America’s history and culture). You can tell it was designed by the same team that forged the cliffs of Galaxy’s Edge, but you’re also given glimpses of main characters’ perspectives and engrossed in their livelihoods throughout the park AND the ride— something Galaxy’s Edge never quite nailed.

Likewise, the Guardians of the Galaxy skin imposed onto the former Tower of Terror perfectly incorporates the physics of a drop ride into an escape narrative. As a rider, you become privy to an escape heist in the elevator shaft of the villain’s secret lab/factory/lair. The ride puts you inside the story of the characters you already love; and digs a little deeper into the greater world of the story’s villain, which is something audiences are always hungry for. And, because it’s Guardians of the Galaxy, which in itself centers around a pretty rag-tag bunch of heroes, the slap-dash escape with a few “bumps” along the way makes sense from a story perspective. At no point did the story distract me from the ride, or the ride distract me from the story— the story enhanced the thrill of the ride.

And the Incredicoaster is one of the few rides that truly gives us “something new:” an adventure with Jack-Jack as the family attempts to rescue him from himself. The coaster designs its “dark ride” elements to incorporate characters from the franchise, while you twist and turn your way through being tossed between Mr. and Mrs. Incredible and the kids. It’s a light touch of storytelling, but endearing to fans and perfectly fitted to an enjoyable thrill ride. It gave me a perspective I didn’t have upon entry: turning riding a roller coaster into experiencing the fast-cuts and high-speeds of an action superhero movie from the super’s perspective. If that isn’t an example of filling my transmedia appetite, I don’t know what is: feeling what it’s like to be part of a SuperFamily.

These are all examples of how a ride can properly drop you into a pre-existing narrative, while surviving within your own personal narrative of your trip to Disney. However, Cliff’s criticisms of California Adventure ring true: the rest of the setting of the park feels cheap, hollow, compared to the complete immersion of Disneyland. You can see every land from everywhere: you’re never truly “immersed” into any one place. The world-building was also half-hearted and lazy: the homages to the California state parks and Hollywood, plastic and two-dimensional, just made me wish I was in a real state park, or Hollywood. And as we wandered through the long stretches of Californian pastiche, I felt an echo of nostalgia… overshadowed by the suspicion that my nostalgia was being milked for profit. A sentiment that became all too familiar walking through every post-attraction gift shop— in both parks. Despite these obvious flaws, I believe that the makings of a perfectly immersive and engaging park are there in Anaheim: but one needs to dig into what makes each element of the parks great to get there.

My final reflection on the storytelling of Disneyland brings me back to my very first point of the paper: which story is Disneyland the park trying to tell? Are we the main character of our trip to Disneyland? Or are we a fly on the wall of our favorite fairytales? In the creation and expansion of this park, I’m not sure even the Walt Disney Company is quite sure anymore what the Disneyland experience is supposed to be. If the progression of Galaxy’s Edge, Tomorrowland, and California Adventure of having more gift shops than attractions is indicative of future additions to the Disney Parks, I fear the most pervasive story they’ll be telling is that of their own greed and self-importance. Instead of me being the main character of my trip to Disneyland, I fear I was merely one of many extras in the story of The Walt Disney Company and its rise to world domination through the sale of plastic lightsabers and nylon ears.