#tho it still has that tinge of worry over mortality to it

[vimbry]

"hovering sombrero" does this to me

[mousehole5000]

tgcf again chapters 174-191. im now midway through book 4. pain and suffering. and yet also.... this is really good.... but also.... pain...

okay cave of ten thousand gods everythings coming out into the light.... xie lian pretending not to hear fengqing drop their act im emotional..... fengqing silently working together to separate xie lian and hua cheng im emotional..... every word that comes out of mu qing’s mouth im emotional....

honestly reading the xianle trio discussing hua cheng.. its very hard for me NOT to project all the times ive been in a friendship trio and someone got a boyfriend the other two didnt like (which was every time. theres never been a bf everyone liked. sometimes i was the one who had the bf. there were no winners then and tbh i predict there will be no real winners here as far as this friendship goes but such is life)

mu qing is so smart he’s clever he’s tricksy i love it i love him ugh

“A pair of arms had circled around him from behind, and hugged him with force all of a sudden. Xie Lian had buried his face in his back, and also didn’t speak. Though nothing was said, it was enough.” okay i cant get into every different way im feeling about whats going down bc it would get Too Personal but this..... im emo. also xie lian saying “something like this has to be said clearly“ and then proceeding to not say a word just going in for a hug is a mood

“He heard Hua Cheng’s staggering voice coming from above. “...Your Highness. You really…will be the death of me.” - ok well DONT SAY THAT!! now im worried!!!

“Hua Cheng, however, only snorted, appearing as if his eyes could see through the thick rocky walls. He said darkly, “Don’t worry. If he kills one, I’ll make ten more. Fast and furious like the storms, I will never back down. Let’s see who’s the one left standing in the end.” Xie Lian’s heart skipped a beat for some reason, and he mumbled inwardly, “... Oh no, this is bad.” Even though Hua Cheng’s expression was subconsciously displayed, Xie Lian really was quite weak to this aggressive and rebellious confidence of his.” - fjadskfajsl its okay xie lian honey you never know whats going to do it for you

okay so are the murals and statues are only from the xianle era? im hoping hua cheng didnt secretly follow xie lian during his time as a mortal during the entire 800 years and then pretend to a total stranger that would be too much imo lets see. i still really do get why feng xin and mu qing are like “...dude wtf lets get out of here stay away from that guy” (also tbh probably if theyd all managed to stay close... this probably wouldnt be happening which isnt a judgement im just saying bc thats definitely how ive felt about friendships) although this whole thing IS indeed tinged with homophobia which i still dont think makes sense in this setting but whatever i guess.

BOOK 4!!!! im scared

“A few days ago he nearly fainted, and it was only after that did he realize it was because he hadn’t had anything to eat for several days.” - unfortunately relatable but :(

“Ever since Xie Lian was young, he had never had to consider these kinds of affairs, and this was truly the first time in decades that this problem gripped him. However, if gods didn’t even know what starvation felt like, how could they possibly understand the feelings of a starving worshipper? How could they possibly empathize? At this point, he could only take this experience as a form of training.” - TRUE THO!!!!!!!! i like seeing this even tho the circumstances are sad

wait does xie lian get his bad cooking skills from him mom? im gonna cry...

“After returning to the city, Mu Qing’s stomach was still turning. He said as he stumbled, “I thought…that porridge, it smelled like bran water, but I hadn’t thought it’d taste like it too!” Feng Xin gritted his teeth. “Shut up! Don’t force people to remember that pot of stuff! The queen is…body of ten thousand gold after all…never cooked…this is already…UGH!…” Mu Qing humphed. “Did I say something wrong? If you didn’t think it was like bran water, why don’t you…go ask the queen to grant you another bowl! UGH!…” The two were heaving back and forth, and Xie Lian grabbed hold of the both of them, patting their backs.” - xianle trio.... including simply because it made me do the pleading emoji in real life..... also the way the queen wanted to feed all of them... weeping

i didnt realize that mu qing would still be around during this time.... god the fact that i know theyre all going to split......

“It’s precisely because it’s a time like this that money has to be brought up!” Mu Qing countered. “A time like this? What time is it? Time when we’re starving! It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to admit it, but nothing can be done without money! Can you both not just suck it up a little bit?” - mu qing i love you. god.... for real the fact that he comes from a completely different background than the other two is so important to his character and i think it shows so much in the way he continues to be in the present. he gives me the vibe of someone who is smart and hardworking but is bitter about it and tbh!!!! i get why he is!!! he’s very aware of these kinds of concerns bc he’s had to be, while the other two kind of think theyre above it and its a big difference between them. he’s still separated by the circumstances of his birth despite how much harder he’s worked to get to where he is.... ugh painful and delicious

i really am enjoying the xianle story tbh. xie lian going from his highness, favored by heaven, well-intentioned but lacking in experience and understanding to living in poverty and fighting with mortals who disrespect him. fucking delicious i mean this sincerely and respectfully im sad but i really like his character arc. and then to how he is in the present....

“Mu Qing looked at him, speaking not a word. Then he bowed deeply and really turned around to walk away.” - OH NO ITS HAPPENING AHHHHH ;_; honestly all of this hurts but it feels real like i think mu qing has every right to want to leave honestly and he DOES have other family and other ambitions outside of the trio... and i get why feng xin is mad about him wanting to leave when theyre suffering!! and i get why xie lian lets him go.... friendships are hard man and the pain of them splitting is rough!!!!

“Mu Qing’s departure had really shocked him to the core. First, he had never thought that someone so close would just up and leave. Second, Xie Lian had always believed in “forever”. For example, friends would always be friends forever; no betrayal, no deception, no breaking up. Perhaps there’d be times when they’d part, but it for sure wouldn’t be over reasons like “life is too horrible” - pain. just pain. same as above i get it but it hurts

“Xie Lian didn’t know too well just how much money would be considered normal when buying over ten lanterns, and he never looked at the price tag when he purchased things in the past.” - i feel bad kicking him while he’s down and he’s still trying to be kind even when it costs him but this is the first thing that came into my mind

but also oh?? spirits of soldiers from the battlefield you say?? hmmm i wonder... who.... could possibly be among them....

“If you remain forcibly, you won’t be able to rest in peace,” Xie Lian said. The nameless ghost didn’t seem to care. “I pray to never rest in peace.” -  i cant lie this legit gave me goosebumps lol

“Xie Lian himself was alright in suffering through it, since there were far too many other things to worry about. But his mother, who had lived a comfortable, luxurious life, when had she ever done such crude labour? But if the queen didn’t do this work herself, who else could take over?” - hmmmm!!! housekeeping!!!! it matters!!!! rich people dont appreciate how much until they have to do it themselves!!! but this still makes me sad

oh god THATS when they pawned hongjing?? with the king sick and mu qing leaving?? :(((( even more emotional about its appearances in the present day

“That passerby chuckled. “You don’t know? This is too exciting! The servant is beating the master!” - oh god the dramatic and ironic timing of it all

god..... this is just... a sad time....

“MU QING ISN’T LIKE YOU ALL. HE’S MY FRIEND, HE WOULD NEVER HELP YOU!!!” [cut to] “Those were the only words echoing in Xie Lian’s mind, but he couldn’t utter a single sound, and could only crazily grab at anything at his disposal to throw. He didn’t care who he was hurling at, either. Finally, Mu Qing couldn’t take this anymore, and he steeled his face as he swept his sleeves and left. Xie Lian panted harshly for a bit and fell back down, spacing out again.”- IM SAD!!!!!! tbh i wonder if on some level xie lian kind of felt like mu qing owed him? i know he said to forget about that stuff to both of them but its one thinig to say it and think you mean it and another to have to deal with it

white no-face what is your DEAL!! also all the little fire ghost bits im...

“After having exchanged so many words, Feng Xin finally got the gist of what had transpired. He widened his eyes and pointed at Mu Qing, unable to speak. A moment later, he bent down and grabbed a sack and flung it over, roaring. “SCRAM! SCRAM SCRAM SCRAM!” Mu Qing was hit in the face by the sacks of rice he brought and backed two steps away. All three of them in the house were panting harshly.” - this is it this is the part where i closed my laptop and said “noOOooOOOoooo” out loud to my room im so upset... and mu qing still tried to leave the rice even after the broom thing im ;_;

“Feng Xin was completely convinced that he would never do such a thing, but that was precisely why this had become the worst-case scenario!” - pain, suffering, dismay, etc

“Feng Xin continued, “If Your Highness thinks your life might be in danger, I can finish this for you, I won’t tell Her Majesty, haha.” - bless your heart for trying feng xin

“But it shouldn’t be like this. The Feng Xin of the past would have absolute faith in him no matter what! Even if there was only twenty percent doubt, it was still unbearable!” - AHHHHHHH okay idk if i really have much to say about their relationship other than im sad but IM SAD!!!!

the differences between feng xin and mu qing’s relationship with xie lian are so interesting. feng xin has clearly always idolized xie lian a lot while mu qing hasnt at least not in the same way and he seems like he has some resentment towards xie lian (thats how i read it anyway thats what i said about it at the beginning of book 2 and i think its understandable and can be a very real part of friendships) that feng xin doesnt and i just think thats neat!!

“He was firmly tied down upon the altar, that broken base of the statue under his body. There were many people squeezed below the altar, and pair after pair of round, unblinking eyes were watching him.” - hmmm dont think i like where this is going

“Yet, before he could finish, he realized that the white silk that he used to cover his face had been undone. In this moment, the thing that had him completely tied down was that exact white silk.” oh my god wait is this ruoye?? is ruoye that same ribbon???? ill cry

“The hand stained with blood, the one that ended a life, was immune to the Face Disease.” - ohhh shit okay. okay okay. okay. shit okay. i See now.... so if youre an innocent civilian the only way to escape this fate (and the faces are actually the souls of other innocent civilians) is to get rid of your innocence... and doesnt this disease not actually hurt its just horrific? god.............

“White No-Face pitied, “You think they don’t want to do it? Wrong, it’s not that they don’t want to, it’s solely because no one wants to be the first, that’s all.” - shut up!!! youre the one who created this situation dont fucking preach about the way you think the world is

“He forced down the mouthful of blood and hissed, “What are you laughing at? You think that you got what you wanted? This was all forced by you!” The ghost fire within the ghost’s hand flickered even more fiercely.” - yes exactly!!! you put people in extreme circumstances sometimes they do extreme things!! youve proved nothing!! god i do love when characters say exactly what im thinking. plus the first ones who caved were trying to save their child

“He felt that, if he was to let them do what they wanted, there was something in his heart that would never return to its original state.” - :( also i kind of feel that in my life sometimes and i just hope xie lian’s heart ends up in a state he’s happy with

“He didn’t dare to look at what had become of the person lying on the altar, because what laid there didn’t look human anymore.” AHHHHHH!!! :(((( i mean i get why this event is what made hc... level up??? thats not a good way to describe it fjasldkfjaslk but you know what i mean... that line about being powerless to help your beloved OOOOOOF

okay well finished that chapter im. pain. hmmm. pain. i dont know if i actually have any words rn lol but im gonna stop here for now

[tinylilemrys]

Merlin 3x10 “Queen of Hearts” Highlights

I love that even in Morgana’s nightmares, Merlin is beaming with pride at his friend, Gwen

Gwen and Arthur’s love theme is so beautiful and tragic. All sweeping strings and melancholy notes. Gorgeous

Morgause’s creepy whisper lure whenever she wants to meet with Morgana

Gwen trying to desperately to hide her feelings for Arthur in front of Morgana because she doesn’t trust her anymore

(We’re getting into the good shit now y’all)

Gwen and Arthur’s covert flirting over breakfast while Uther is trying to talk to him and Arthur knocking over a glass because he’s so awkward around Gwen sometimes

Arthur’s little pout of boredom while he’s thinking of what to write

Listen, it doesn’t get said enough, but Katie McGrath is an amazing actress. Morgana comes into the room to talk to Arthur using the sweet, friendly voice that she had in the first season, but now it’s tinged with insincerity. She’s so good at playing Morgana playing innocent

Morgana tells Arthur that she knows Gwen has feelings for him too and immediately his face lights up and he’s all like “Really? Did she say something??” He’s such a dork

I keep getting distracted by the lute in the corner of Arthur’s room. Who’s playing it?? Is it Arthur when he wants to unwind?? Did Merlin learn to play so that he could serenade Arthur whenever His Highness wants music?? I MUST KNOW

Gwen is so practical and level-headed – I love seeing her getting to let go and just be happy for a while

Merlin’s little smile and “you look lovely” when he arrives to pick up Gwen is so sweet and wholesome

Arthur using the tray as a mirror and how he drops it because he forgets how to hands when Gwen and Merlin arrive

Morgana is such a devious bitch who knows exactly how to manipulate Uther and I love her

Arthur’s fantasy of running away and becoming a farmer involves Merlin running away too because Arthur can’t imagine a life without Merlin. Hold me – I’m weak

This picnic looks so cosy and lovely. It would be a shame if something were to… happen to it

Uther being completely fine with the idea of Arthur messing around with Gwen as long as it doesn’t become anything serious is item 1183 on the list of reasons why he’s the actual worst

Arthur admitting that he loves Gwen for the first time in front of his completely unreasonable father is peak Prince Dumbass. Bless

Arthur: “You know, Merlin, you couldn’t keep a secret if your life depended on it!” – Merlin: “You’d be surprised!”

Merlin being so reluctant to leave Arthur alone with Morgana and his icy glare at her as he leaves

Arthur 100% prepared to leave Camelot to be with Gwen

Where is Elyan y’all? Is he still in Camelot? If so, why isn’t he here comforting his sister who’s about to be banished from the only home she’s ever known? If he’s not, why is she so worried about where she’ll go? Just go to him. It’s like the writers completely forget that she has a brother at times

I love Gwen and Merlin’s friendship so much. It’s so sweet and supportive

Morgana, the neutral evil queen of my heart ♥

(Gwen is being accused of using magic to enchant Arthur to fall in love with her) Uther: “Why else would Arthur fall in love with someone like you?” – Gwen: “I don’t expect someone like you to understand that.” – THAT BDE THO

Uther taking Arthur wanting to relinquish his claim to the throne as proof that he’s enchanted proves just how little he knows about his children

Gwen and Arthur stealing what they assume will be their last kiss and Arthur telling her “I will always love you” is just such high romance

Like, y’all, I’m Merthur trash until I die, but I love Arthur and Gwen’s relationship

Gwen fully turning on Morgana because she realises that Morgana’s fully turned on her

Merlin’s crazy plot to save Gwen: cosplay

THE FIRST TIME WE SEE OLD!MERLIN

The little face Merlin pulls to get into character is precious

“I AM DRAGOON, THE GREAT!”

Honestly, any time Colin gets to play a different version of Merlin, it’s gold

Morgana’s ???? face when another sorcerer shows up claiming to have placed the poultice that she placed

Merlin getting to give Uther a piece of his mind after all these years of having to keep silent is so cathartic

And Merlin, while he’s on a role, complaining about how Arthur treats him too because why not

Morgana’s face going from ???? to ???????????? when the other sorcerer confesses

Gaius’ go-to lie when Arthur can’t find Merlin: he’s at the tavern

Arthur being like “what’s the point? You’re about to be executed anyway” when Dragoon wants to confess to more crimes is the reason he can’t be in CSI: Camelot. Don’t you have cold cases? Unsolved mysteries? What if this sorcerer could give you the answers to those things?

I just got chills at Merlin, looking like the old man we see at the end of the series facing a life of immortality, facing his mortality as he stares at the pyre he’s about to be burned on

Oh god that tension between Gwen and Morgana. All polite smiles and cold eyes because there’s no friendship left but they both have to pretend there is.

The thing I love about both Gwen and Merlin is how much they believe in Arthur and the good he can do for the kingdom. They’re prepared to do whatever it takes to see that happen and I love it so much

Merlin walking in all dishevelled after whatever chore Arthur has subjected him to will never not be endearing

< 3x09 | 3x11 >