#thisiswhatgrieflookslike

[glo912]

6 months and you’re still gone. 6 months and life is still moving forward. 6 months and I’ve blinked my eyes. 6 months and I’ve started what feels like a whole new life. I can still remember your rough fingers and the way you’d squeeze my hands. I can almost feel your smooth skin and the softness of your hair like a baby falcon. I wonder if my skin will ever be as soft and my finger tips as calloused. I wonder what you would say to me on my birthday this week. I wonder what you’re doing now and if you miss us. The hole in my heart is deep and wide. I’m doing my best to live so that I am a testament to you; that I honor you. I know you don’t want me to be so sad and I try my best. But sometimes it’s harder than others and the past few weeks have been that sometimes. You’re really gone and I really don’t know what to do with that. I never got to learn from you how to make arroz con gandules or tostones. Now I’ll just have to try and see what happens. I think of you each time I flip an egg or trip a bit. I have more old fashioneds than I used to drink. I think of you each time I see a cardinal and whisper hi daddy. It’s dahlia season and they’re here but you’re not. It’s been 6 months and my heart is still broken.

#grief #griefshare #thisiswhatgrieflookslike #griefandloss #griefjourney #cluboflostdaughters https://www.instagram.com/p/BnkoAekgG9w/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=khbvvfn33d71

[geekdogsndid]

Omg I look like a ghost! I wanted to post the puppy pile 🙈 I had to get dressed as I’m being dragged out by a friend to an event we booked months ago. York here we come 🤷🏼‍♀️ . . . #thisiswhatgrieflookslike #thisiswhatmentalillnesslookslike #nofilter #weirdlighting #puppypile #assistancedogintraining #assistancedog #lovedogs #adulting #geekgirl #dissociativeidentitydisorder https://www.instagram.com/p/BuJnONcHPl-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=u6vhks9i6wq7

[glo912]

1 year. I can’t believe it’s been 12 months without you, Daddy. So much has happened and the ache is still here. So much that I wish you were here for. So much to come that I wish you were here for. I still don’t know how I live in the world without you. #grief #griefandloss #griefjourney #griefshare #thisiswhatgrieflookslike #cluboflostdaughters https://www.instagram.com/glo912/p/Bu0iIETBcKF/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=k3vz155cptz3

[glo912]

These pictures are from exactly one year ago today. When they were taken Dad had gone to the doctor once and had a one night hospital stay. If you had told me when I was taking them that he would be gone in a little over a month, I wouldn’t have believed you. He had survived so much by this point, I was thinking that he could survive everything that came his way. I think about him every day. I miss him everyday. There are so many things I wish I could talk to him about or ask him. Like how old is my car battery? Because the only one who knows his him. I’m so glad the pain he had towards the end of his life is no more but my heart is so sad without him. I still have a hard time imagining how my life will go forward without him around. #grief #griefandloss #griefjourney #thisiswhatgrieflookslike #thisiswhatgrieffeelslike #cluboflostdaughters https://www.instagram.com/p/BtPW0dhh3f2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ayjh0hocc2is

[glo912]

Yesterday was 7 months since you’ve been gone. The day before that I had a meltdown. I was ugly sobbing so hard and loud that Arby’s tail was between his legs. Why was I crying like this? Because our thermostat wasn’t working and I was trying to reinstall the old one, but it absolutely would not work no matter what I did. I called Mom and through my sobs I managed to gasp ‘I want to talk to Daddy. He would know what to do. He would know how to fix it. I want Daddy.’ I could hear the pain in her voice as she responded “I know he would. I’m sorry I don’t know what to do. What can I do?” This was the first time I felt desperate for your know how; for the way you’d be irritated with my frustration; for how, even though you might seem exasperated, you’d walk me through it making it seem so simple. You would have figured out that the jumper between the two Rs was missing and had some wire on hand to fashion a new one. You’d smile and chuckle. You’d say, “What are you going to do when I’m gone?” Now I know the answer. Sob, call mom, yell at Tim through texts, and feel like the earth should swallow me whole because I feel so lost without you. #grief #griefjourney #griefandloss #thisiswhatgrieflookslike #cluboflostdaughters https://www.instagram.com/p/BozBOToBezJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=n9sp1oro608g