#this would be the first time they've willingly hung out with a friend without me

[spade-club]

Ugh. She literally. Is upset that I dont always like her. Like she hasn't. Given me. Two different kinds of trauma. Across many instances. And has not changed that behavior significantly.

Like. I told her not to drink. Because she gets even worse with boundaries when she drinks. And she responded with. Saying its weird that I dont like her. Like. I havent just. Told you. Why.

And I respond with saying. That its not like I dont like her. Its just that I dont want her to drink around me. Thats all.

She also has told me. To my face. That she hates me <3 so

[georgeweasleyslostearhq]

I'M NOT SCARED

Parings: Vampire!Eddie x Fem!reader

Summary: 3 months after he was susposed to be dead, the group finds Eddie and to their shock and fear, his skin is pale and has fangs? When Dustin tells you about it you refuse to see Eddie.

Warnings: none, I think

For just over 3 months now, you've heard it all from Dustin. He and the rest have claimed that they've not only went back into the upside down, but had found your deceased beloved boyfriend, Eddie Munson.

You hadn't been with them when he died, Eddie begged for you to go on with Steve with their plan and that Steve would keep you safe. So when it came to Dustin telling you Eddie had passed in his arms was hard because he knew Eddie's last words to you were

'I promise you, I'll be back, You'll be in my arms and we'll be safe, ok? I'll make it back to you, I promise, Y/n'

You believed him, every single word, but once Dustin came back without your boy, you knew something happened, you knew that he broke his promise. So before you could even notice that Dustin was limping, you ran off with hot tears running down your cheeks.

You didn't want it to be true, but every time you looked at all the picture hung up on your bedroom walls, you knew that you wouldn't see that face, that smile, those big, puppy eyes again. Even if you convinced yourself it was a lie, a myth that he had left you. It pained you so much that you packed everything you had of him away in your attic, all the pictures, shirts, notes, drawings, cologne, his rings he had gifted you and more. You had nothing of his in your room. And you haven't seen any of his things for 3 months.

-

"He's there. Y/N, he's down there, waiting for you to come see him but you're fighting it" Dustin whined

"Dustin I'm never going down there again, it confuses me as to why you are willingly going down there over and over again after you're best friend died down there, and to hell if you think I'm going down there to the place where he died in your arms instead of mine!" You yelled out.

You had told Dustin and the others to stop bringing it up with you or around you. It's not that you didnt believe them, you did, Cause if it was just one of them telling you they found him down there, you would've thought that Vecna had gotten into their heads, but they all saw him.

They all saw him but you. Again.

At first they all yelled at you, showing their excitement and confusion at knowing he's alive, saying he looked just like he was the last time they saw him.

He still had his long hair, he was wearing the same outfit from that night, but you noticed by their faces that they had been leaving something out.

They told you that he had asked if you were still in Hawkins, or if you had left like most of the town.

Truth is you almost did. You begged your parents to move, but they don't have the money, and nor did you.

So when they told him you were still there he was happy and asked them if you could come down with them the next time they go there.

They had all asked you but you had refused.

They've gone down around 7 times since they first found him. And every time they go down to him without you, they have to make an excuse so Eddie won't be upset.

'She's focusing on her college applications'

'She has work'

'Yeah she couldn't come, she's babysitting her cousin"

Eddie knew that wasn't true, he knew they were lying when they made an excuse the 3rd time they came without you.

Eddie wanted nothing more but to see you again, it's all he can think about. You. In his arms again.

But then a part of him doesn't want you to see him like this, his eyes were the same, but with a hint of glowing red, his skin paler than Mike, and his teeth, the sharp fangs were something that didn't go unnoticed, he knew you would be scared of him, just like the others when they first saw him.

-

"Can you please go down with us this time, I know you want to, he brings you up almost the whole time we're down there" Mike said.

"I dont get it, why is he still down there? Why isnt he up here with the rest of us? Hm? How do we know he's not working with them down there, huh?" You questioned

You got nothing back, they all went silent and didn't talk about him for the rest of the time they were with you.

Eddie had been scared to go to the real world again, Vecna told him he was to stay down there with him and be his right hand man. And Vecna has eyes everywhere, so it was gonna be hard if he could get out of there just to see you.

---

It had been a week since they're last visit and Eddie told Vecna he wanted to take a stroll in the real world, he reluctantly agreed and let him go and do as he pleases.

You had been out of town for that weekend and weren't there when he had turned up to your house, he knocked, but no one answered him, you're parents were both helping around the town, so no one was home. But he didn't know that.

He had figured you're parents weren't there but in his mind, you saw you in your bed, ignoring his calls and knocks.

He walked around to the side of your house, went through the gate to your backyard. And looked down at the doggy door at the bottom of your back door. He sighed and looked down at his frame, he was way to big to squeeze through that.

Eddie rubbed his face and groaned, he knew it would hurt, and he could get badly injured, but he closed his eyes and soon enough, his legs weren't touching the floor, and his sight had gotten smaller, he wasn't himself, he had transformed into a bat.

The sun had shined brightly and started to burn his bat skin. He quickly flapped down to the door and used his force to push the doggy door open for him to get inside. Once he was inside his form collapsed into the floor, his hands on the tiles of your kitchen.

He wasn't badly injured, but parts of his skin had turned red from the heat.

He stood up and tip toed to your bedroom, seeing the door slightly creaked open.

He pushed it and took a weary step in, seeing the walls blank, all the photos of him were gone, even the one on your bedside table, they were all gone.

He walked around noticing all the things that were missing from the last time he was over, which was the day before you last saw him, the day before he 'died'

He looked in the mirror, or at, he couldn't see his reflection, it was like he wasn't there, like he was a ghost that couldn't be seen. So instead of his shaky pale body looking back at him in the mirror, he saw your bed, where the mirror was aimed at.

That slightly broke his heart. Knowing that he'll never be able to look at himself again, it wasn't that he had to look at himself as if he knew he was incredibly attractive, he's just scared that he'll forget what he looks like, he won't be able to recognize himself, he was scared that if he couldn't see himself ever again, he'd never know who he is anymore.

Your room was cold, and it seemed empty, not in the sense that you weren't there, but like he was missing from there, the amount of times he had been in your room was countless. He was here probably more than he was in his own, he had decorated it with you so seeing everything he had put up with you gone felt wrong, it felt like you had taken him out of your life. Like you had not only gotten rid of the things, but him himself, it was like he had never been in the room in his life and he couldn't stand it, so he got out of there, he ran out of your house and back down to the gate.

He didn't have the same emotions as he used to as a human, so he didn't cry, he couldn't but he definitely wanted to, his eyes were practically begging him to cry but he couldn't, he wouldn't.

But he was crying on the inside, the human inside him was crying, Eddie was crying, Not Eddie.

Eddie went to your house in the upside down. Where everything was the way he wanted it to be, the way it was supposed to be. All the pictures and his clothes where there, seen as though you two had been together and friends for years. Even though there wasn't much colour. He could still picture it as the day the pictures were taken.

---

It had gotten to the point where Eddie didn't hide his fangs in front of the others, he would show them off almost, they were always able to see them. They group had a nice view of Eddie's white teeth as he smiled or laughed at them.

So when Steve, Robin, Dustin and Mike were down their on their 8th visit, it came to surprise when Eddie's face wasn't adorned with his natural warm and welcoming face.

They were greeted with a dull and blank expression. And they all grew concerned, asking why he looked so sad

"Eddie, what's wrong?" Robin asked the boy

"Does Y/n still talk about me up there?" He asked bluntly

"She tends to avoid conversations that revolve around you so, no, not really, why?" Dustin replied

"She doesn't love me anymore" he said looking down at his feet. Even though he couldn't feel most emotions, he knew when he was sad, or happy, and right now he felt abandoned, he knew he so sad that he could just almost feel it.

"What?! Why would you think or say that, she does and that's why she doesn't want to talk about you, it hurts" Steve defended you

"Then why doesn't she come down to see me? Why is everything of mine gone" he whispered

"What do you mean?" They questioned

"She took everything down, every picture, every gift, everything I ever gave her, none of my clothes are even in her wardrobe. It's like I dont exist to her anymore" Eddie confessed.

"You dont know that" Dustin said, almost tearing up, as if Eddie's sadness rubbed off or transferred onto the curly headed boy.

Eddie dropped the subject and just tried to forget it. How was he supposed to tell them he went up there and couldn't stay for good? I mean Vecna gave him permission, and if Eddie was up there Vecna couldn't do shit to get him back down.

"Guys?"

-

You had decided when you got back that it was time to see him, after being going to your room when you arrived home from the weekend, you felt a presence with you. It was colder and you felt as though someone was in there.

You tried calling the group but none of them picked up, so you make the bold assumption and turned up at the place Dustin said they go through to get to Eddie.

"Guys?" You called out at you saw them from a distance. All their heads turned in your direction and they heard you from afar.

You looked at them all but only saw Eddie, his smile on his face dropped as he saw you standing there and him mouth immediately shut tightly.

"Y/n! You finally came!" Dustin cheered and got up, running over to you, grabbing your hand and dragging you to the group, you didnt look at anybody else but Eddie.

Your vision got better as you got closer to him. He looked the same but so different.

Eddie couldn't speak, he didn't know what to say. It had been 4 excruciating months without you. And you turn up.

To him, you looked just as beautiful as ever. And he felt like he couldn't look at you. He didn't deserve to.

The silence was so loud to them, everyone could sense the tension, but you had no idea there was tension

You sat down next to him and placed your hand on his, but he quickly shrugged it off the second you touched him but that didn't mean you couldn't feel like his skin, he was so cold it made you shiver, it pained to see he didn't want you touching him, that wasn't how you planned on seeing him for the first time in ages.

"Eddie?" Your voice was soft, like if you said it any differently, he would break or disappear. He didn't answer you, he didnt even look at you, he just moved away from you to create space between you two.

Everything had changed between you.

You looked up at the rest of them and seeing their sympathetic looks as your bottom lip quivered, you felt like you were going to cry.

"Eddie? It's me" you tried again, moving closer to him. Maybe he forgot who you were? Maybe he didn't recognize you?

"I know" his voice was cold and blunt. He moved away from you again, this time getting up and sitting in between Mike and Robin.

"Eddie" you heard Robin's stern tone whisper to him, like she was warning him or something

"I told you. this is why I didnt want to come down here" you announced to Dustin and got up.

You dusted yourself off and quickly walking away from them, going back to the place you got here from

"Eddie, you've been begging to see her for months and this is how you greet her? What did she do" they all questioned him

"She's just gonna run away when she finds out anyway" Eddie shrugged

"She's your girlfriend, Eddie, go after her and apologize" they argued

"There's a difference between is and was, she was my girlfriend"

-

He ran after you. He relapsed you shouldn't have been treated like that and ran after you. He knew that if you were ever going to go down here again if he decided he did the wrong thing, he was going to have to go back for you.

And damn did he catch up to you, with his newfound speed, he was able to catch up to you in only a minute.

"Y/n! Wait!"

When you had turned around you saw him charging at you, and it didn't seem like he was planning on slowing down, so you tried to block yourself with your hands but nothing came into contact, you opened your eyes and uncovered yourself, seeing him standing there looking nervous

"When the hell did you get that fast?" You asked

"I uh, well... I'm gonna tell you this, and you can walk away if you want to and never speak to me again if you want but um, yeah" Eddie played with the rings on his fingers.

"What? That you don't want to see me? That you never died? That your working with them down here-" You listed things that you expected.

You didn't give Eddie any time to talk for himself so he just laughed at what you were saying. Showing you a clear view of his teeth

"What's wrong with your teeth? Eddie what's going on, your cold and fast as hell and have weird teeth, what's wrong with you?" you sighed in confusion.

Eddie suddenly grew insecure. Eddie had just started to like his fangs, he thought they were pretty cool, badass. But you didn't like them, so he shut his mouth and put his hand over his lips

Eddie had never really been insecure, it was just the fact that you were the most prettiest girl in the world to him and you chose him? The freak? That's what always put him down.

But you basically saying you didn't like the way he looked hurt, and he could definitely feel that.

"Y/n..." he drifted off into wonderland.

You're going to hate him, you're going to scream and run away from him if he tells you. That's the one thing he would never want. He's never wanted you to look at him like he was a monster. And well...now that he is, he doesn't know how you'll react, I mean yeah. He does, he just doesn't want to know how you'll think.

"Eddie" you said sternly

"Please just dont. Please don't be scared" he looked down at the ground

"Eddie, you already are scaring me"

"I mean, I guess that you could call me a uh- well I'm uh- a vampire" he confessed

You look taken back, it made sense to you, the fastness, the paleness, the teeth, the coldness. You know a lot about supernatural creatures, vampires, werewolves, unicorns, witches. So you knew what the side effects of being one were. And he ticked all those boxes.

"Like Kas" you whispered, making him laugh

"Yeah, like Kas, literally" he nodded his head.

He stood there awkwardly, waiting for you to run away from him, but you didn't.

You stepped forward, towards him but your sudden movement scared him, making him back away

"If I get too close I might do something bad" he said as a warning

"Have you? To them?" You spoke in a hushed tone.

"I've been scared to go within a metre of them, haven't been closer than that" he replied

"No hugs?" You questioned. You loved giving hugs, to anyone, you couldn't imagine not hugging anybody, so it made him smile knowing you want him to be able to hug people

"No" he shook him head

"I'm not scared" you announced, walking closer to him with your arms out, you didn't move quickly, it was quite slow.

You were barely an inch away from him now, you looked at his face closely, examining how he looked, he was beautiful, seen as though you never thought you'd see him again, he looked even more precious standing in front of you.

Eddie could smell you, but he did not dare lay a finger on you, if you were to hug him, he would let you, but he would not do it back.

Not that he didn't want to, or that he didn't still love you, he wouldn't hug you because he loves you.

You slowly wrap your arms around his torso, pulling him closer and you dug your head into his chest, he was still cold, but it was worth it just to touch him again.

"Eddie..please hug me, please hold me, I want to be in your arms again" you instructed.

"Y/n" he warned

"Please, Eddie"

He wrapped his arms around you, as gentle as he could. He took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, resting his head onto of yours. Feeling safe in your warmth.

"You don't know how much I've missed you" he said

"I missed you more than you ever could" you smiled into his chest

--------------------------

I hope you liked it. I've forgot about the tag list for a couple of my past fics but yeah.sorry if you're not part of this tag list, I copied it from the last pic that had a tag list.

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