#this would be SO FUCKING EASY IN FILM. I'M MAD.
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Do not ever underestimate my capacity to make writing as difficult as possible for myself. This is why I am immune to AI usage. I cannot do anything "the easy way" or I will feel like it's too simplistic and fails to fully encompass the "vision". I have been trying for three years to write a cohesive, somewhat high-concept but overall standard fantasy novel, and I finally got a bit of the rewriting done for it today, and then promptly was like, "Actually this requires building out an entire experimental form that requires an above average capacity for typesetting and a lot of skill with poetic symmetry to convey the precise sense of disorientation you are trying to accomplish."
And the worst part is, I'm probably gonna do it.
#this would be SO FUCKING EASY IN FILM. I'M MAD.#but nOOOO I'm out here trying to write what should basically be high fantasy endless sunshine in PROSE#because FUCK ME IG#to be clear I half ass a lot of things but let it never be said that I have made art without my whole ass#also I don't know that it is in anyway an original form (and I can give examples of where it is used. in scripts lol.)#but like. for the exact combo of things i want to employ it for in this format I think it is at least HIGHLY unusual#anyway that is for a later megs to deal with.#if I'm being honest I was admittedly like 'at some point I will figure out the exact format problem I'm having' and here we are#*ETERNAL SUNSHINE jfc i knew id sniffed a typo i just could not for the life of me figure out what it was#good fucking god
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no nut november - lee minho (winner)
-> pairing : minho x fem!reader
-> words count : 2.1k
-> genre : smut, etablished relation
-> warnings : dom!minho, dirty talk, praising, unprotected sex, oral (f. and m. receiving), fingering, use of 'good girl', 'kitten" and 'slut' (lovingly), overstimulation, spanking
+ the way i'm depicting minho does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction.
-> 18+ content bellow, minors dni
-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.
-> masterlist | skz masterlist | no nut november
To say Minho was confident about his chances was an understatement. Honestly, he knew he wouldn’t have much competition, except maybe from Seungmin. Still, he followed the loss of all his members like the best show he had ever seen, teasing them endlessly. Some surprises came with the bet, like Jeongin being one of the last still going after the third week of November. But overall, they were all so predictable that Minho could have guessed how it would end.
So when he received a message from Seungmin the 30th, saying that he was out, Minho knew that he had finally won. Just two days, and he could finally do all the things he was constantly thinking about for these past weeks to you. It hadn’t been an easy win, he must say. He almost lost just once, when he was making out with you on your couch during a movie night. But he managed - God knows how - to contain himself and stay strong.
Even though he didn’t lose control doesn’t mean that he didn’t get crazy over you for the smallest things. Like this one time when you were applying your gloss, getting ready for the date Minho had planned for the two of you. The act was innocent, no ulterior motives - of course, you were so sweet, didn’t do anything to try and make him lose - but he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering to other places. He couldn’t stop thinking about those same glossy lips wrapped around his cock, couldn’t stop thinking about those same glossy lips covered in his cum, as well as your perfect face. But these fantasies were all he would authorize himself, or else, he would have gone mad by now.
On your side, even if this challenge was frustrating too, it was also very amusing : seeing your spoiled boyfriend, who used to get what he wanted from you immediately, struggling to keep the last pieces of his sanity together was funny. Very funny. But you knew that you wouldn’t be laughing at the end of the month, most likely screaming and crying underneath Minho. But you knew that as soon as his primal needs and yours would be fulfilled, he was gonna be the sweetest boyfriend ever. And you couldn’t wait to hold him and fall asleep in his arms.
Therefore you weren’t surprised when you heard someone knocking at your door at midnight precisely. Minho hadn’t tell you anything but you were sure that as soon as he could, he would come and fuck you. That’s exactly why you decided to stay awake, watching your favorite film and patiently waiting for him to show up at your door. You couldn’t help the little smirk that tugged at the corner of your lips as you unlocked the door of your apartment to reveal the well-known silhouette of your boyfriend, leaning on the wall and wearing the same smile as you.
“- Have you missed me, kitten ?
- Well, come and find out.”
It didn’t take more than that for him to grab your waist, pushing your body against his already rock hard member, and to kiss you like he needed you to breathe, like you were his oxygen. And in a sense, it was true. This month without you, without feeling your skin under his hands, without feeling your touch. This month was really what he had pictured when he imagined hell.
“- You’re not gonna be able to walk tomorrow kitten…
- Good, because I want you to ruin me.”
You didn’t even notice that Minho closed the door until he pushed you against it, his tongue playing with yours like he wanted to win a fight he had already won anyway. He always won. And if he didn’t, it was only a moment of peace before he took the lead again. But honestly, you weren’t complaining right now : you had missed him too much to care, just like he had missed you. From the way he was groping every part of your body as he was undressing you from your shorts and hoodie, to the way he grunted when you ran your fingers through his hair. He clearly missed you as much as you did.
“- Minho… Please, don’t tease…”
No answer came to your ears as he helped you get out of your last piece of clothing and got down on his knees. That was enough of an answer for you. You were already breathing heavily, anticipating Minho’s next move. One of his fingers ran along your clit, making you shiver and whine for more. You needed him. You needed to feel him.
“- Already so wet for me… You missed me that much ?
- Yes, I missed you so much Min… Please, I need you….”
Your pleas were enough to convince him apparently because he immediately dived into your cunt, eating you out as if he was a man starved. A sigh left his lips when your taste engulfed him. Fuck. He missed your taste, missed your moans, missed your hands tugging at his roots, missed the way you were grinding against his face. He missed it all even if it was worth it.
But what was even more worth it was to relieve all this pent up frustration of the past month. Yes, it was torture most of the time, but Minho must admit that getting to touch you again after so long made him want to appreciate it even more, savoring every drop of your juices as if it was the most expensive champagne he ever got to taste, and taking his sweet time, listening to your moans like his favourite song.
You quickly felt close to the edge, wanting nothing more than cumming on his tongues. And Minho knew the tale-tell signs of your orgasm by heart : how your thighs began to shake, how you lost the rhythm of your hips, how you tugged harder on his strands of hair. And after all you did for him this month, he was more than happy to offer it to you, sucking one last time on your clit and coaxing your first orgasm out of you. By the time he got to his feets, you were almost back to reality, your chest still heaving to your hitched breathe.
“- You okay ?”
His fingers brushed softly against your cheek, a rough contrast with how messily he was eating your pussy just minutes ago, your arousal still coating his chin and lips.
“- Yeah… You’re just too good at this.
- Wanna see all the other things I’m good at ?”
And he did show you. He put you on your knees for him, pushing his rock hard cock until it hit the back of your throat, grinning when you gagged around him. He fucked your mouth roughly, releasing all his annoyance of the past month until you milked him dry. Then, he played with you again, his fingers plunged as deeply as possible into your cunt, hitting your sweet every time he curled them in the right angle, making you cum for the second time before he got you on all fours.
“- Gonna be a good girl and give me one more kitten ?”
You simply moaned by way of answer, but that didn’t seem to satisfy him as all you earned was a slap that made your ass jiggle, the sound echoing through your bedroom. You couldn’t see Minho’s face, but you could easily imagine the smirk playing on his lips.
“- Use your words.
- Yes, yes I can… Please, fuck me…
- That’s better.”
Both of you knew that the act he was putting on would drop as soon as he slid in between your wet walls. His moans were almost louder than yours, his iron grip on your hips that will certainly leave marks holding you in place. It’s been too long. Too long since he tasted you, kissed you, touched you, fucked you. And now, finally buried deep inside of you, he found himself unable to move. Every now and then, your pussy fluttered around his shaft and he groaned while tightening his grip on your waist.
“- I’m sorry, I’m not gonna last long.”
His voice was already airy, cut out by little high-pitched moans every time he thrusted back into you. And that was one of the hottest things you’ve ever heard. It was a shame you couldn’t see his face right now, but the feeling of his heavy length pounding in and out of your cunt was already enough to bring you closer to your relief. You weren’t going to last long either, having missed being fucked by him too much.
“- Don’t care… S-So good Min…”
At this point, you were fucking yourself on his cock, and Minho stared down at your ass coliding with his abs everytime you moved backwards, moaning loudly everytime he hitted your sweet spot. It really was a sight to behold, and he didn’t miss a bit of it, his gaze lingering on your cunt swallowing him whole.
“- You’re so fucking nasty baby, bet you fantasized about that every day, didn’t you ?”
You were so out of it that you couldn’t form any coherent word, and even less sentences, only whimpers leaving your lips. Minho chuckled from behind you, picking up on his pace and holding your hips still while he rammed into you at a much quicker rhythm.
“- I am fucking you so good you can’t talk ? Is that it little slut ?”
You moaned in approuval, reliveing in the way his body now pressed into yours in the mattress, his lips brushing against your ear everytime he talked dirty to you. Minho knew how excited that got you. He wanted you to come before him, he wanted to feel the delicious ache of you getting impossibly tight around him before cumming too.
“- Answer, or you’re not getting what you want.
- Y-Yeah !
- Yeah to what ? That’s not a proper response baby.”
The sweet name paired with his hand slapping your ass was degrading, borderline humiliating, but it felt so fucking good, tightening the knot in your stomach and bringing you so much closer to your climax.
“- You’re fucking me s-so good I can’t… Ah… I can’t talk.
- Good girl. Now you can cum.”
As if you only needed his permission to do so, you reached your breaking point, screaming in pleasure and your pussy contracting so hard around him he came almost immediately, moaning your name loudly as he spilled his load deep inside of you. Both of your orgasms were so intense your visions became white, tears almost spilling out of your eyes. For a moment, the only sound breaking the silence of your bedroom was one of your heavy breathing, trying to regain some strength to move from the position you were currently in, which was becoming quite uncomfortable.
Minho rolled off from your body, laying on your side and bringing you close to him, not wanting to leave the warmth radiating from you. You immediately cuddled against him, settling your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his intoxicating scent with an audible sigh of relief.
“- That was undoubtedly the most powerful orgasm of my whole life.”
You giggled at his words, but you could only agree with him : it indeed was, and even if you weren’t certain that an entiere month of frustration was the better way of getting it, you were still glad for it.
“- Yeah, it was amazing but I’m gonna need a good shower.
- Does this mean round two ?”
You hit his toned chest playfully, rolling your eyes, but you didn’t miss his teasing smirk and he didn’t miss the way the corner of your lips were threatening to stretch out.
“- That means we’re not doing that ever again. I missed you too much, it wasn’t really fun.”
Feeling you snuggle even more against him, Minho tightens his hold on you, one of his hands coming to caress your shoulders, his gaze softening. He lowered his head enough to be able to kiss the crown of your hair, burying his face inside just after, the perfume of your shampoo feeling familiar enough to totally relax him.
“- I missed you a lot too. But it was worth it seeing them losing one after another.”
You hit him again, but it only made him chuckle softly. You knew your boyfriend was very competitive, and maybe it wasn’t a bad thing after all, you thought, when you felt his hands sliding from your shoulder to your ass, squeezing them roughly.
“- So… Round two ?”
-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my works.
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#skz x reader#skz x yn#stray kids fics#stray kids x reader#lee know smut#minho smut#lee know x reader#minho x reader#lee know x reader smut#minho x reader smut#skz smut#nnn#no nut november#nnn skz
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haii could i please order a pizza with sicillian crust with red sauce, and jalapenos, chicken, and tomatoes and my drinks are mtn dew(dom), beer and diet coke. Served by Max Verstappen please!!
Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu
sicillian crust dating red sauce rough sex jalapenos "always such a fucking brat" chicken "awe you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" tomatoes "do you enjoy pissing me off?" mt dew dom (reader) beer edging diet cock recording kink served by Max Verstappen
Max Verstappen x Dom reader
AN: I am so pleased with how busy the Pizzeria has been! I work at night today so I'm gonna get a couple fics more pizzas done before I have to go in.
TW - edging, sub max, dom reader, begging, unprotected sex, filming, taunting
WC 2100+
Y/N POV
I've been watching Max from the other side of the bar for the past 15 minutes while he talks to Checo about something having forgotten about the drink he was supposed to be getting me.
Another 5 minutes pass before Max is finally waving the bartender down to orders drinks and another 3 minutes before I watch Max approaching with his puppy smile trying to sweeten me up once he saw the cold stare I was giving him.
"Max it's been almost half an hour since you told me 'I'll be right back just gonna get your drink' right back my ass" I saw while rolling my eyes and talking the drink he was offering me.
"M'sorry, Checo was talking about the car," Max tells me sheepishly. I could tell he was sorry so I decided to brush it off and pull him to my side before placing a soft kiss on his cheek.
"It's fine, just stay on task next time," I tell him softly whispering into his ear.
I don't know how or when it happened but there had been a shift in max and I's relationship. At one point in time, Max was a young curious boy doing any and everything he could to dominate me and 'keep me in check' but as the years progressed there was a switch and he was no longer the one wearing the pants in the relationship. Most people just assumed Max was whipped but the very few who actually knew about the dynamic just understood it. To them it all made sense, on track, Max was a dominant force that instilled fear in his fellow drivers but off the track, he just needed an outlet to be taken care of.
"I promise," Max whispers before placing a kiss on my lips.
"Love you," he says when he pulls back. "Love you too"
As the night progressed Max had done really well about doing what he's asked but then Lando showed up and I knew instantly I was gonna lose him in the crowd.
I trust Max and I have no issues with him going off but being left at a table by myself surrounded by people I had never met was making me grow more anxious than I would like to admit.
It was about an hour later when I finally saw Max approaching the table with a dopey smile across his face letting me know he had definitely had another drink or two.
"Hi baby," Max says while plopping down right next to me not picking up on the annoyance radiating off of me.
"Do you enjoy pissing me off?" I ask back watching as the smile on Max's face instantly falls.
"Wha- huh? Wait, what did I do?" Max stutters, struggling to try and figure out what to say.
"You just disappeared for over an hour. You left me alone at this dan table and you didn't even tell me where the fuck you went or ask if I wanted to join," I tell him back piching his thigh slightly under the table.
"M'sorry. I promise I've been trying to be good. Don't wanna make you mad, schat" Max mumbles clearly feeling the shame of the verbal lashing he was gonna get later when we got back to the apartment.
"You're gonna be in tears tonight," I reply back straight faced not cracking a normal smile.
"Please just one more chance," Max begs knowing I meant every word.
"I gave you a chance with Checo. I don't understand how you hanging out with Lando somehow always results in you getting punished. Maybe we should send him a video of you tonight to let me know he's a terrible influence," I tell him while looking into his eyes before placing a soft kiss on his cheek to throw him off.
"You wouldn't" Max says with wide eyes of the threat of sending a sex tape. I just shrug my shoulders playing along with the bit.
"I don't know, I think he would love to know that the man he's fighting to get the World Driver Championship is just a needy whiney little bitch," I reply back making Max whine.
"You're a meanie," Max mumbles.
"And you're a brat. Don't we make a perfect pair," I saw with a smile on my face.
When we finally get back to the apartment for the night Max was pretty much sober knowing I would wait until morning if he wasn't sober. He chose take his punishment now versus the morning when he would be nursing a hangover.
"Go into our room, make sure the cats are out of the room, then strip down and be laying on you back in the bed. I'll be there in 5 minutes," I say the second the door is closed.
Max makes quick work of disappearing into our room where I assume he listened to every word I said.
In the 5 minutes, I stripped down into the lingerie set I had chosen to wear under my outfit before making my way down the hallway where I find Sassy sitting by the door staring up at me curiously. I give her a quick pet before slipping into the room to find Max exactly how I told him to be. I look around the room and found a neatly stack of clothes letting me know that Max had folded them up instead of throwing them arounf our room.
"I see you remember some of our rules," I saw while staring at the clothes so Max understood what I was referencing.
When I start climbing into the bed with Max I can see him tensing slightly in anticipation.
"You know how embarrassing it was tonight?" I said before spitting onto Max's cock and starting to jerk him off making him instantly grow hard under my hand.
"I was sat there all alone for over an hour. I looked dumb as fuck. I'm sure the Monaco gossip is gonna eat that up "Max Verstappen disappears leaving his long-time girlfriend alone at the table' You know how media is, they're gonna make it seem like there's trouble in paradise. When in reality it's just little Maxie being a brat. Oh! I almost forgot," I stop my teasing to grab my phone which I brought with me into the room.
"Say hi to Lando," I say while pointing the camera at Max's face. He's giving the camera such a pained yet slutty look it makes me laugh at his desperation. I wait a couple seconds before my voice booms through the room, "I said, Say hi to Lando." While verbally reprimanding Max I send a quick slap to his inner thigh close to his dick before pinching the same spot making Max squirm a bit.
"Hi, Lando," Max mumbles barely audible.
"Try that again. I hear the way you yell at your engineer. Such a disrespectful boy," I tell him with a raised brow.
"Hi, Lando" Max finally says in a loud enough voice to be heard.
"Good boy," I tell him while moving my unoccupied hand back to his dick making sure I have the perfect angle to get Max and his already wet with precum ccok.
"So needy. You're already dripping for me," I say with a smirk on my face.
"So good, schat" Max whines making me speed up slightly just to watch Max's breath hitch.
"I love it when you get like that," I mumble while squeezing Max's cock a bit harder.
"M'close," Max mumbled making me speed up just slightly before pulling my hand away and watching Max's eyes roll into the back of his head and tremble slightly from his pleasure being ripped away in a matter of seconds.
"No," Max whines dragging out the O sounding so desperate.
"Awe you thought I'd let you cum that easy?" I tease while starting to jerk Max off again while zooming the camera in on Max's cock dripping with precum.
"Schat, please," Max says already starting to beg.
"Oh come on, you can handle more than one," I tell him while leaning down and kicking softly at his tip collecting a bit of his precum.
I shuffle down the bed slightly to start pulling Max into my mouth and down my throat taking all of Max's length into my mouth making sure to bob my head slightly before bringing Max to the edge all over again.
I could tell when he was getting close again because his thighs started tensing under my hands making me rip away from Max's cock to watch him thrash around while bucking his hips to try and gain some kind of friction.
"Fuck no," Max whines staring straight at that the camera that I angled perfectly on his face.
"I love watching you get progressively more needy," I say with a smirk while gripping onto his cock and giving it a rough couple jerks before pulling Max into my mouth again.
I didn't give Max much time to calm down so he was on the edge rather quickly.
"Please, I'm gonna cum," Max says making me bod my head a bit faster before pulling away and watching Max try and chase his orgasm on his own by moving his hand to go and finish himself off but I quickly get a grip on his wrist and giving Max a look that says knock it off.
"No more," Max whines making me smirk slightly.
"Can you give me one more?" I question with a raised brow making Max whine but slowly start to nod his head.
"Yes, I can give one more," Max mumbles softly making me smile softly.
I started jerking off his cock softly making sure I'm filming everything again. I loved it when Max got like. The noises, his hips bucking, and the pure desperation in his eyes always seemed to turn me on.
I could tell Max was getting close but I wanted to push him farther than previous so I continue my movements till the second I know Max will cum I rip my hand away and watch as Max lets out a roar of desperation while jerking his body around not being able to gain any friction as I moved away slightly.
"Please, I need it. I can't do it anymore. I need to cum baby, please," Max begs making me smile softly.
"I'm gonna let you cum in a minute," I tell Max softly while rubbing his thigh in a soothing manner making Max whimper at the touch.
I turned the video off and tossed my phone away from us. I was still sitting in my lingerie set which is completely soaked through both from just witnessing Max get to the point of begging and also because I had snuck a couple fingers into my folds and teased my clit while giving Max head.
I stand from the bed softly and strip down completely before climbing back into the bed and climbing on top of Max before instantly sinking all the way down on Max.
"Oh fuck," I moan when I feel Max stretch my tight walls. I knew neither of us would last very long but looking at Max's face he was completely blissed out.
"So good," Max mumbled making his accent come out a bit thicker.
"So big baby," I moan while softly grinding my hips to gain some friction but not enough stimulation to bring Max or I to an orgasm.
"More, please" Max begs and I give him exactly what he wants because I start bouncing my hips slightly making both Max and I moan at the pleasure coursing through our bodies.
It doesn't take me long for the knot in my stomach to grow alerting me of the incoming orgasm. I look at Max's face and can tell he's trying to hold his orgasm off until I was cumming.
"Cum for me baby," I whisper out bouncing harder on Max's cock throwing me off the edge and into a violent orgasm.
The way Max's hips were erratically thrusting and the feeling of him filling me up sent me over the edge into a shaking orgasm. I'm shaking on Max's cock trying to ride both of our orgasms out.
"So good baby," I whine softly still feeling the aftershocks of the intense orgasm I just had.
"Thank you," Max says softly through staggered breath still trying to catch his breath again.
"You did good for me," I tell Max softly while pulling off his cock and laying down on his chest.
"You're not gonna send that to Lando right," Max mumbles softly making me chuckle a little and shake my head no.
"You know I would never, but I did love watching you get desperate on camera. Might start having to do that more often," I tell him softly looking up to watch his face. I could see the conflict in his eyes but he still nodded his head letting me know it was something he would be willing to do again.
#formula 1#f1#f1 imagine#f1 x you#formula 1 x you#formula one imagines#max verstappen x you#max verstappen#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen smut#max verstappen x reader#f1 smut#max verstappen fanfic#mv1 imagine#mv1#mv1 x reader#mv1 fic#mv1 x you#mv33#red bull racing#mv1 smut#mv33 smut
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can you write Jake webber reader and Johnny in a Walmart video and some guy comes up and tries to hit on Y/n and jake gets all mad and there’s a fight?:)
Candle Isle
Summary: Jake texts you telling you, him, and Johnnie are going to Walmart for a valentines themed video and then you get there this guy starts hitting on you.
Pairing: Jake Webber x reader
Tw: violence, blood, random dude being a creep, Jake and Johnnie jokes (if this counts), cussing.
2k+ words
A/N: please note that i haven't written fanfic in a while so this writing might be a little bad but thank you so much for the request!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Jake had texted you two hours ago asking for you to film a video and Johnnie. He said you guys would go to Walmart and just fuck around and buy a bunch of random stuff for another video for Johnnie’s channel.
You and Jake had been dating for a few months now so of course you had made small appearances in some videos and filmed for them every now and then but you haven't done a full video with them yet. You were excited and nervous at the same time. More nervous than anything but Jake assured you that he would make sure you were fine the whole time.
Your phone buzzed “I'm here”
You gathered your things you needed to leave the house, locked the door, then walked down the stairs of the apartment building and saw Jake waiting for you at the door. Jake hears the door close so he turns around with a smile on his face
“Hey” you say and walk over to him looking up at him slightly.
“Hey you look good” he puts his hand on your waist and leans down for a quick kiss and you smile into it. He starts leading you to the car holding your hand.
“Sorry we’re a little late Johnnie took forever to get ready” you simply nod and laugh a little bit
Jake walks around the car to the passenger side and opens the door for you and you quickly slide into the seat
“Hey Johnnie what's up” you say as Jake walks around the car to get in the car.
You have known Johnnie for quite a while now just from filming videos with a few of his friends and eventually he became really close with Jake and introduced you guys to each other about six months ago.
Jake gets in the car and we all agree to film an intro in the car at Walmart to be more discreet because Walmart doesn't necessarily like people filming in the store.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Jake eventually finds a parking spot and sets up the camera on the dash.
“Everyone ready” he puts thumbs up and turns around slightly in his seat to see Johnnie in the back seat.
You and Johnnie both nod and let Jake press record.
“We are here at Walmart and we are going to look around and eventually I'm gonna get my lady something from the valentine's section”
“Aww that's sweet” you say and look at jake
“My lady being this hot babe in the back seat” jake pointed at johnnie
“Hell yeah get fucked” johnnie looked at you with your jaw dropped and you laughed
“No but for real this is my valentine next to me and I'm just getting johnnie whatever he wants because he is lonely” Jake joked.
“Dude what the- let's get out of here” johnnie heads to get out.
You all get out of the car and head inside and on the way to the entrance while the cameras weren't rolling Jake turned to you and asked if you were comfortable. You simply smiled and nodded.
Entering the store Jake pulls out his phone to start filming again “okay guys do we want a cart?”
“Can I ride in it?” Johnnie says to the camera
“I know something you could ride” Jake jokes back at him and smirks
“Jake your girlfriend is here take it easy” he slightly whispers
Jake pans the camera to you and you're just standing there staring at them. They both laugh at you and you just smile while grabbing a cart.
“Hop in” You tell Johnnie
“Wait actually?” he hops in and you try to push the cart but struggle a little bit
Jake laughs at your struggle “Johnnie i think she's struggling a bit there buddy” Johnnie laughs and hops out the cart
“Here y/n get in” Johnnie then lets you get in and starts pushing the cart while Jake films.
Eventually you guys make your way to the candle section
“This is where i lose all my money to y/n” jake looks at you
“Let me get out, I love candles” you hop out of the cart and start looking at candles. Jake and Johnnie are on the other side of the aisle looking at other candles and cracking up over jokes.
“Yall I'm not gonna lie I'm going to piss my pants if i don't go to the bathroom right now” Jake says
“Okay go we will wait here” Johnnie said
Jake left quickly and you laughed at his dramatic urgency. Johnnie is only halfway down the aisle from you now, both of you just looking at candles silently.
You are bent down looking at the bottom shelf when you hear two guys behind you laughing. You weren't sure if it was at you but you were not taking that chance so you took your candles that you picked out to put in the cart and then walked over to Johnnie telling him you were slightly uncomfortable.
You and Johnnie headed to the next aisle over so you weren't too far from where Jake would try to find you. You guys were looking at simple stuff on the shelves when two guys came up to you. You assumed it was the guys laughing just before.
“Hey Sweetheart” one of these guys came up to you with his friend not too far behind him. He looked to be about college age or maybe just graduated but definitely still had the frat vibe.
“Uhm Hi” You looked at him confused then turned to look at Johnnie with a weirded out look. He was already on his phone texting Jake about the situation.
“Is this your boyfriend?” he looked around you to look at Johnnie waving his fingers as if he was saying hi
“No but-” you tried to say your actual boyfriend was here but he had cut you off
“Oh so you're single” he gave you the most disgusting grin. You turned to Johnnie who had a slightly scared look on his face. You could tell that Johnnie wanted to do or say something about this but you also could tell that he had never been in a fight in his life and was scared to get beat up. You couldn't blame him.
“Well-” he had cut you off again.
“Because me and my friend here think you're super cute and he bet me that I wouldn't be able to get your number” He pointed at his friend behind him.
Before you could think of an answer you felt an arm around your shoulder. Looking over you saw it was Jake and his hand was cold from where he had just washed them. Not only did his cold hand calm you but him just showing back up filled you with relief.
“Yeah she is pretty cute but sadly for you and happily for me she's taken” jake looked at him and tried to lighten the mood
“And you are?” He straightened his posture to ‘intimidate’ Jake but Jake wasn't having it.
“Her boyfriend. Did you not pick that up from the ‘shes taken’ comment” Jake looked at this guy like he was the most stupid person in the world and removed his arm from around your shoulder.
“Are you calling me dumb?” The guy cocked his head at Jake.
“Not necessarily but you must be if you didn't pick up on the fact that she didn't want you from how uncomfortable she is” Jake quickly shot back at this guy.
“Come on she wasn't uncomfortable until you showed up” The guy rolled his at jake
“Hm, Really?” Jake turned to you and you looked down “No i think i know my girlfriend enough to say she was definitely uncomfortable”
“Lets ask her then” this guy leans over and tries to look at your face “huh love are you uncomfortable” you simply try to back up
“Bro don't get in her face like that” Jake pushes his shoulder lightly just to back him up a little bit.
“Hey don't touch me” The guy got angry and Jake steps in front of you to try and seem intimidating.
“Maybe stop bothering us then” Jake grabs your hand and turns around and you guys try to leave
“Yeah, follow your owner like a pet.” This comment not only upset you but as soon as Jake saw the look on your face he immediately turned around.
Everything was happening so fast that by the time you felt Jake let go of your hand you turned around to see his fist hitting the creeps face. Immediately gasping you try to go and stop him but you feel Johnnie’s hand grab your arm. He didn't want you to get hurt as well.
“JAKE!” you try to stop him but by the time you got to him the other guys friend had already grabbed him and told him they needed to run before the cops got there.
You grab Jake's arm and he is breathing heavily, you turn him around quickly to look at him.
“Oh my god, Jake you're bleeding” you grab his face lightly not wanting to hurt him
“Oh” he touches his face lightly to see the blood on his fingers
“Come on put your hood on we are leaving” you told him you pull his hood on for him and you guys just leave the cart behind.
Johnnie follows quietly as you guys make your way out the store to the car.
“I'm driving okay I'm not letting your drive after that you get that right?” you tell jake and he understands. You all get in the car and you realize he's been pretty quiet. “You good?” you turn to him asking softly and he nods.
“God jake you have the longest fucking legs in existence” struggling to adjust the car seat. Everyone slightly laughs realizing you're trying to lighten the mood.
“It's not my fault you're short” he comments back at you.
“I'm not that short” you roll your eyes
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You guys end up at the boys house and everyone gets out and walks in and Johnnie goes to his room.
“Come on let's get you cleaned up” you put your bag down and grab Jake's hand dragging him towards the bathroom.
You both enter the bathroom and shut the door behind you as he leans against the counter and you walk over to him.
“Where do you want me?” he asks lowly and you could tell he feels bad.
“Well if you stand there i won't be able to reach you” you smile at him and shake your head lightly.
Jake puts his hands on your waist and turns you around and lifts you up onto the counter.
“Better?” he asks and you think you might lose your mind.
“Better.” you stare at him analyzing his face and injuries. He has a split eyebrow with dried blood running down his face, he also has a split lip. “Your lip hurt?” you look up at him with caring eyes because of his fresh piercings.
“Oh yeah I'm not gonna lie I feel like it's gonna fall off” you laugh at him looking at it more deeply.
“Get the first aid kit and I'll clean it up to see if we need to remove the piercing” he immediately leans over to get the first aid kit from under the bathroom counter. As he does this you turn your body to wash your hands. He hands it to you and you set it on the counter next to you pulling out an alcohol wipe. You open it, wrapping it around your finger lightly tapping his eyebrow. After cleaning up his eyebrow you put a butterfly bandage on it.
“Now the hard part” you pull his lip down lightly and he winces softly. “I think you should take the piercing out just in case” he groans and throws his head back. He had just got another put in because he swallowed the last one. “I know i know but i wouldn't want it to get infected and make your lip fall off, how would i kiss you then??”
“Okay fine but I'm making you take it out you have smaller fingers.” you take out his lip piercing and clean it up.
“If it wasn't already swollen before it definitely is now” you joke a little “there isn't another injury on the lip he must have just hit the piercing and it got agitated” he puts his hand on your hips and squeezes a little trying not to hurt you. You clean it up a little more and put some ointment on it for now.
“Are you mad?” he looks down at your lap. You put your hands on his chest in a comforting way
“A little but also not at all. If that makes sense? I don't really like violence but I also really love a boyfriend who sticks up for me and cares about my comfort.” you rub your hand against his shoulder and tilt your head at him. He looks at you and nods.
“Okay” he goes quiet for a second “how long until we can kiss again?” you press a light kiss against the corner of his mouth without the ointment.
“Just a little because I'm not kissing your ointment lip sorry” you smile at him and he groans but then laughs brushing it off.
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nobody knows
mini-series
word count: 3k
genre: established relationship (hard dom x slutty sub)
pairing: hoseok x reader and jungkook x reader
summary:
the older tends to stay up a bit longer than you and he doesn’t know if he’s gone mad or if he genuinely smells a different scent on you, but he does. he knows that scent so well, but he knows he must be going crazy. jungkookie? that virgin couldn’t fuck a girl even if she was sent on a silver platter to him. hoseok shakes the thoughts out of his head and pulls you in closer, his grip is so tight, almost as if he’s trying to prove his point. he’d be damned if his slut was being used by anyone else than him. but just how much were you willing to get away with?
warnings: [please read if you are sensitive] hard dom hoseok!!, slutty sub reader!!, hoseok is not nice ok but he isn't terrible i promise, hoseok is extremely possessive, cheating involved but you would too so, explicit sexual content: rough sex, filming during sex, blowjob, sexual thoughts, virgin jungkook, voyeurism, falls between lines of dubious consent, sexting, breast play, nipple piercings, if i missed anything fuck me
a.n: hi there, it's me wanting to start something super unrelated to what i had in mind, but i've been going thru it again so please be easy and patient with me. i'll be dedicating whatever time i have on this for right now since i don't have the mental for something super creative and too long, i'm not really sure where this will go, it’s more like word rambling with no direction just seeing where this leads me, but please lmk if you have anything you wanna see. everything is lowercase because this is just gonna be super sloppy from start to finish. im gonna have fun with this so i hope you do too. see you next time!
—> m.list
—> find me on ao3 & twt
--
hoseok records everything because why wouldn’t he? he records absolutely everything because he wants to look back at old times and remember how desperate you became while slurping his dick down. every time you would pull away he would shove you back down, forcing you to deep throat. hoseok would bring the phone right up to your face, flashing light and all so he could get a good image of how pretty and wet your eyelashes would get. “stick it out for me baby, show the camera how you get.”
obviously, you listen (you’re the best sub) and hoseok loves it. he loves the cockslut you turn into, how dumb you get whenever his dick is pulled from his baggy jeans. begging for him to fill your pathetic hole. sometimes he makes sure you spend weeks without it so you reminisce about how delicious he felt shoving himself brutally into your tight walls.
hoseok couldn’t wait to show all the members to brag about how disciplined his little subby angel was, watch their expressions fall as you took him like the good girl you were, mouth slack and moaning like a bitch in heat for him.
and when jungkook starts begging for a turn because he’s never experienced that with anyone in his life. how could he anyways! he was practically forced into the industry at such a young age and didn’t have any time to explore himself sexually. he’s extremely frustrated and wants to experience sex just once in his life!
jungkook begged just once for it, but hoseok hyung was so mean! he would force the younger to watch while he took you from the back and fucked you drunk. jungkook couldn’t do anything, but watch and whine. he would grow desperate hearing you through walls and sometimes even finding your slick-cum filled panties all over the dorm.
the more he begged the more hoseok pulled back and continued to tease him about it. jungkook thought maybe he could never have you, but for the live shows from time-to-time were enough and the videos hoseok would take after cumming all over your pretty ass, claiming his bitch once and for all. jungkook lives with that for now. he can’t have you, but that is close enough.
at the same time, hoseok doesn’t think he will ever share you. no questions asked, he’s just too mean, extremely possessive of what is his. he doesn’t share and will never fucking share. for as long as he lives, you will live off his cock and be thankful for all he gives you.
but hoseok is an extremely hard worker, spending too much time in his studio and hours on end in the practice room.
fortunately for you, it’s just enough time for the tricks up your sleeve.
it started off like this, you would wait until you were sure hoseok was gone and didn’t plan on returning home until late. sometimes, he spent nights in his studio, one could never know being on hoseok’s time.
given that information, jungkook always came home earlier than everyone else, privileges of being the youngest of all members. it’s not at all that he wasn’t hard working, the others simply worked too much and too hard. jungkook was much more lenient about his time and always allowed himself to rest when it was needed. that being said, it was too easy.
“jungkookie?”
when he doesn’t reply, you assume he’s either one, showering, or two he’s dozed off. either way, that simply won’t do.
“jungkookie?” this time you are louder, knocking three times at his door.
jungkook opens his door, hair disheveled and sleepy wide-eyed. “noona?”
“ah, sorry. i need some help.” jungkook can’t help the way he practically eats you with his gaze, though he tries to hide it. you were in the shortest shorts he’s ever seen and a tank that squeezed your breasts together. that boy would drool over it, if it wasn’t basically forbidden. hoseok made himself very clear, what’s his is his.
“what can i help you with noona?” sweet and as respectful as ever, jungkook smiles even after you awaken him from his slumber.
“i wanted to watch a movie in the living room, but for some reason the tv doesn’t wanna turn on. can you help me fix it?” your tone is short of suggestive, but jungkook is as innocent as ever.
“of course noona, joon hyung probably messed with it this weekend and never bothered fixing it. you know how it is, let me see what i can do.” living in a condo with seven other men usually meant you would constantly run through problems as such. of course by now, you were used to it and nothing ever really bothered you anymore. they were all really kind and respectful of you, regardless of everything they have seen (hoseok really loves to show off what’s his and doesn’t give a damn what anybody thinks, you were perfect for him). whatever you needed or wanted, you would have it. all you had to do was open your mouth and any of the guys would run to the rescue.
“thank you jungkookie, noona’s sorry for always bothering you.” you really aren’t.
“nonsense noona! i’ll always do what i can to help you.” jungkook bends down to assess the tv more properly, and for a minute, he actually struggles finding the source of the problem. while he’s turned around, you shove your tank down, making sure your tits nearly hang out of the fabric, just enough to entice him, but he continued his search not bothering to turn back around.
“jungkookie—”
“a-ha! found the issue noona, the tv was just unplugged. joon hyung must have forgotten to replug it. all fixed!” jungkook turns back around, proud smile on his face.
“ah! silly me. i must have not noticed.” except for you did because twenty minutes ago, you unplugged it yourself to do exactly what you were about to do next. “well, i’ll let you rest now. don’t mind me. noona will be here watching a movie if you need anything. unless… you want to watch with me? noona’s very lonely these days.”
“what will you be watching?” the younger’s eyes narrow as if contemplating his answer.
“iron man?” it comes off as a question, although somewhere along the lines you recall jungkook clearly expressing his love for the superhero. you couldn’t be too far off.
his face immediately lights up. bingo.
“of course, i’ll watch with you! i’ll be right back, let me bring some popcorn!” with that, he leaves you behind and you make yourself comfortable. thank god jungkook was so clueless, he had yet to even notice your questionable choice of clothing. you were practically selling yourself bare. his eyes dropped from time-to-time, but jungkook was super respectful. at least, he tried to be.
“didn’t know if you preferred skittles or reeses pieces, but i brought both.” jungkook hands them off, soft smile on his face, his bangs nearly covering his eyes.
“thank you jungkookie, make yourself comfortable!”
by his own means of comfortability, he plops himself at a very respectful distance from you, too respectful even and it frustrates you a bit, for now you settle that at least you've gotten this far.
the movie starts off a bit slow for your liking, but jungkook seems to be enchanted by the damn film from the start, not once does he take his eyes off the stupid screen. mouth stuffed with fluffy popcorn as he sips on some soda.
“want some?” he gestures at the bowl of popcorn and you quickly shake your head. jungkook turns his attention back to the screen and continues watching the movie happily.
“it’s chilly no?” you say after some minutes, he doesn’t seem to notice you get a bit closer. stalking him like some predator. it’s really not chilly at all, but even if you were, your choice of clothing is not very helpful.
jungkook pauses and shakes his head. “not really, i’ll bring you a blanket though!”
curse him for being so sweet and cute. at this rate, you’ll get nowhere and it’s frustrating as fuck.
“here you go, noona. need anything else?” jungkook lays the blanket over you, covering you up entirely. for fuck sake, does he not get the hint. your outfit is practically useless now!
“no, that’s all for now. thank you, kookie.” the boy melts away, he adores when he hears that nickname from his noona. one thing was for sure, hoseok was extremely lucky.
the movie carries on and you almost fall asleep midway. from time-to-time, you hear a few audible reactions coming from jungkook. a few gasps here and there as if he hasn’t watched this movie ten thousand other times and you aren’t sure if your vision has gotten worse or if you saw jungkook tear up, he was quick to shake his tears away so you both go on acting as if nothing happened.
your phone buzzes at some point in the movie and it could only be one other person.
daddy: send nudes
me: can’t rn
daddy: why not?
me: watching a movie
daddy: alone?
me: maybe :)
Well, it’s not like you were lying! what he doesn’t know won't kill him.
daddy: behave baby, wouldn’t want me to tie you to the bedpost while i’m gone
hoseok has threatened multiple times to do it and although he’s never done it outside of sex, it’s worrisome the way it turns you on. what you would do for a man to want you that much.
hoseok has made it beyond clear, the members are completely off limits. you just can’t help yourself.
me: daddy’s so mean :(
daddy: yeah, the worst. now do what i asked of you
me: yes daddy
“gonna use the restroom. need something?” jungkook watches as you walk away and quickly shakes his head no. although you can’t see him, you can feel a heavy gaze lingering as you leave the room. shame he doesn’t act on his lust and arousal, but what more can one expect from a nerdy virgin.
with a couple flicks of your juicy tits, you send them over straight away with a simple kiss emoji and make your way back in no time.
jungkook doesn’t even notice your presence until you clear your throat. he smiles at you before he turns his attention back.
daddy: fuck look at you wanna bite those nipples off
me: come do it i’m so horny daddy
daddy: yeah? i’ll fuck it out of you this weekend
me: that’s too long, i want it now
daddy: that’s too bad isn’t it?
me: why are you so mean :(
daddy: i gotta go, behave and don't play with yourself you know i don’t like my shit used
though you are tempted to send the rolling eyes emoji, you hold it in for your sake, you prefer to keep your pussy intact, thank you very much. hoseok is strictly against pleasing yourself while he’s gone and you understand why to some degree.
it’s like edging, the sex is just ten times better. you both are more horny, your pussy is much tighter— wetter. you're much needier, desperate even. he does it all for good reason, but what can he do about the fact that you just need a little more. maybe you truly are the slut he says you are and you are about to get what you need, one way or another. someone is bound to give it to you. men are dogs either way.
you throw your phone aside and attempt to watch the movie again, cuddling yourself, though you much rather be bare and bouncing on dick. we can’t have everything in life, sadly.
“kookie, noona’s still cold.” you say with one last attempt at this. if he really doesn’t break this time, what else can you fucking do. you’ve already thrown yourself bare and he barely moved.
“oh? should i get another—” jungkook’s words die at his throat when he feels you lay on his chest, your ass sits on his thigh and he nearly chokes on spit. “n-noona.”
“this will work just fine jungkookie, thank you.”
if hoseok knew the reality of the situation, he would kill you. that itself accelerates you more than anything.
jungkook is a bit awkward at first, but he eventually comes through and starts getting comfortable himself, even going as far as laying a hand on your back.
for a few minutes it stays like that, a bit too quiet for your liking, but you could hear his calming breaths as they leave his body. he smells so fresh, a bit of lavender detergent. god, you want to rip him out of his clothes and show him a good time, if only he let you or much better asked you.
“noona, something is stabbing me. sorry can you?”
with a confused expression, you pull off and his eyes land on the exact issue. you almost fail to hide the smile creeping its way on your face.
“oh! sorry, that’s my nipple piercings.”
jungkook immediately goes red and starts coughing. “oh! no sorry it’s okay, yeah i’m sorry.”
“have you ever seen nipple piercings in person kookie?”
jungkook just shakes his head, cheeks still burning pink. “i know jimin-hyung has them, but he doesn’t show them off like that.”
oh? that was news to you. you’re intrigued, but for now you handle what is in front of you.
“ah, wanna see?”
jungkook’s eyes almost fall out of his head. “w-what about hoseok-hyung?”
“it’s not like we are doing anything wrong? i can just show you quickly, you know, for scientific purposes.” please let this work, you were on your last chance.
“o-okay.” jackpot.
you start by lowering one strap and jungkook’s breath hitches as he watches very closely as more skin becomes uncovered. carefully, you pull at both straps until they have fallen and your tits bounce deliciously as they drop from your flimsy tank.
jungkook stopped breathing seconds ago, without thinking he pokes at the rod of steel, big-eyes curious and full of stars. “is that?”
“bunnies.” you smile at him sweetly. “they’re little bunnies, just like you.”
without another word said, jungkook clears his throat and turns red. “i- i’m sorry. i shouldn't have touched.”
you shrug. “it’s okay, i didn’t mind.”
“does it hurt?” the younger asks while still not being able to take his eyes off. iron man be gone.
“no, not at all. you can touch, if you want.”
jungkook seems to contemplate it for a few seconds before his hand covers yours, holding the perfect mounds of flesh in his palms. he thumbs your piercings in awe, he didn’t even know those types of piercings existed.
for a few seconds, he does just that. he caresses your soft bare skin, barely putting any pressure as he squeezes them. he’s definitely getting a bit handsy and carried away, but who are you to call his attention. plus you don’t mind one bit, in fact this is exactly what you wanted and you got it.
it ends as soon as it starts. jungkook lets go of your breasts and shyly looks away. he allows for you to tuck them back inside before he looks back over. “t-thank you, noona.”
“of course.” any time is stuck in your throat, but you bite your tongue and instead watch the movie like you both are supposed to be doing.
the movie resumes as if nothing happened and it eventually ends. you can’t even be disappointed because you got farther than you thought you would have, but tonight you’ll sleep a bit more comfortably.
“thank you for watching with me jungkookie, see you tomorrow. goodnight.” just as jungkook is about to reply, he feels a soft kiss on his cheek and he freezes once more. the younger’s face instantly flushes and it takes him so long to form words together. jungkook doesn’t believe his luck or is this his punishment? maybe he’s going insane.
“goodnight.” he breathes out before you slip out of his hands and into your room. a room you share with his hoseok-hyung, god if he ever knew, he would kill you both.
jungkook sleeps with one eye open that night, feeling guilty and a bit ashamed. he doesn’t even jerk off like he normally does, tossing and turning all fucking night. it’s not his fault, is it? he doesn’t know what he was doing anyways. he’s a total loser and he feels like one.
in another room, you aren’t even sure what time hoseok makes it back home, but you do feel the instant he roughly pulls you against his body. flush end against his front, he’s super cold from being out so late so you feel yourself shiver in his hold. you aren’t sure if you are shivering because of that or because you’re scared he’ll smell jungkook’s calming scent all over you. who are you kidding though, he won’t. you’ll be fine and it’s definitely all in your head, that’s what you get for trying your luck.
hoseok remains quiet as he takes a huge whiff of your hair and kisses down your throat gently. his hand is heavy on your stomach, rubbing circles.
“daddy?”
“go back to sleep baby.” hoseok’s voice is deep and firm as he whispers and that eases you back to sleep.
the older tends to stay up a bit longer than you and he doesn’t know if he’s gone mad or if he genuinely smells a different scent on you, but he does. he knows that scent so well, but he knows he must be going crazy. jungkookie? that virgin couldn’t fuck a girl even if she was sent on a silver platter to him.
hoseok shakes the thoughts out of his head and pulls you in closer, his grip is so tight, almost as if he’s trying to prove his point. he’d be damned if his slut was being used by anyone else than him.
but just how much were you willing to get away with?
#hoseok x y/n#hoseok smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook x noona#bts fanfic#bts smut#bts x y/n#jungkook smut#hoseok fanfic#hoseok scenarios#hoseok fic
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tear apart
masterlist
word count: 2689
warnings: toxic relationship (story), drunk, blood
music: i'm going slightly mad by queen
The normalcy started returning completely when you looked around the bar and made sure that the world didn't stop spinning because of your little, pathetic tragedy. Freaked out Jackson called Chibs and agreed to come and pick up the body so that it doesn't start to smell too much in this smouldering weather.
You finally elected a vodka cocktail, as Chibs shoved you (gently) into the farthest booth, where the nearest spaces weren't occupied, and the nice shade reigned to hush all conversations.
A huge plate of food, drinks and phones on the table, he took a comfortable position, spreading wide like you imagined he would,
"Alright, tell me everything".
"Everything would be too long. I met Ned about seven years ago. It's a story of how I was naive and really dumb".
"Naive and dumb, nothing better to be when you're young", he supported, no mockery in his voice. "It's a good thing you did that back when you were young, and not now, when you're critically old".
(kritikly - it was like music to your ears)
"Cheers to that", you returned the grin to him, the cheeky laugh in his eyes. It felt like he, too, relaxed a little now, that the thing was done and you didn't stab him next. Or maybe he really, really enjoyed the shower.
"Anyway, I met him at work when I was twenty-three..."
You had to implement the drinking game, because listening to the Ned disaster without it was too much. Chibs set up a rule that you both drink every time he feels like Ned was being a disgrace.
You told him how you spent the whole night at the bar, just like this one, just speaking to Edward. You weren't drinking, even water, you forgot all about it, and people around you. In the loud booming of the weekend bar, you had to tear your throat for him to be able to hear you. You spoke about Eastern European history, which his thesis was on, and about the city, and music, and rare films; he was the kind of guy who secretly shames you for not knowing who Xavier Dolan is. He wore vintage vests, listened to Tame Impala, only drank IPA, lied a lot and made you feel very special. You spoke, and spoke, and spoke, and by morning you lost your voice. You were book smart back then, being able to uphold any conversation, and not seeing that a guy is just trying to charm himself a one night stand. Ned was hoping for a quick win, to jump, seize and fuck, but you were a virgin, and your heart was full because he was the first ever man who managed not to put you off immediately.
(Chibs drank about seven times in the very presentational first part alone).
The irony of the parallel didn't escape him, so he was threading lightly.
Then, when Ned realized that you weren't one of the quick victims who jumped into his bed at the first invitation, he decided you weren't worth it. He got angry. Life had been so easy for him before, after all, his vests, his curly rye hair and his knowledge of Francoise Sagan books opened all doors and all coed legs for him before. Not that you were unique, you were just that lonely and really, really innocent.
Finally, one evening he attacked you, unprovoked, just out of anger of your seeming, imaginary defiance of him. All because you didn't guess what he was getting at all this time, with all these kisses, and messages, and late night walks.
He broke your heart, nearly broke your neck, and then immediately fucked off to Latvia. Leaving in his wake rumors and gossips about you just to hurt you more, because you didn't break, and fell in love instead.
A couple years later you met again, through common friends, and he made an awkward attempt at peace, god knows what he wanted that time.
"Of course you know what he wanted", Chibs chimed in darkly, "it's his unfinished business. Like a vengeful spirit".
He nodded at your glass, and you both took a sip. You were on your second vodka and juice cocktail, and so far, really did feel alright. Maybe the alcohol conoisseur was right about the quality.
"Anyway, I completely ignored his existence. He even tried to egg my friend to tell me that I should bury the hatchet. A grown ass man, asking another girl to try and implant an idea into my mind. How pathetic is that".
He down his glass and looked around in the search of a waitress.
"I am positively dying. Please stab me, break yer glass and kill me with the shard. I can't listen to it no more".
"Well, you asked for it".
"I get that some men have a thing for hunt", he said, through his teeth, sounding like a scientist, "I am one of them, believe me. I do like a beautiful woman like yerself. But to do that so tremendously convolutedly!"
You clicked your tongue, the long words contrasting with his overall vibe.
"Sir, you have quite a way around your expressions". You drowned down a hiccup. Your head spinning a little, in a pleasant, mild way.
"Don't forget to eat. 'Course I do. Very distantly related to Walter Scott, even further than you to Jackie, but nevertheless".
"Oh, stop it, you're bullshitting me".
"I would never have you on, darling", he snarled happily. Completely sober, you thought. This guy is very far from tipsy.
"So should I continue, or you give up?"
"How dare ya. Filip never gives up".
"Who's Filip?"
"Filip is me", his hand snaked amongst glasses and plates to nibble you on your forearm. "You didn't think Chibs was my name? Go on, how did this excuse for a saggy dick become a stalker?"
"I had no idea where he was, what he was doing, after that one time when I was recommended to 'bury the hatchet', I haven't seen him until this very month. I travel to Charming because Jackson reappears right on schedule. You know, we haven't spoken that much, but when we did meet, about every other fifth year of our lives, we always had great connection... I don't know, I have closer cousins than him, but Jackson was always just a great boy to be around, and we always understood each other. Anyway, I work remotely, and he says that he has a son now, so I think, nothing really keeps me in that city anymore..."
Chibs, taking in the long digressions, was also trying to catch a waitress in the corner of his eye. He saw the other guys at the bar looking at you. And the deeper he dove into the inner world of you, the more he realized that he wanted to protect that, whatever you had going on. The need that you demonstrated, to bore deeply into the matter, showed the anxious nature of somebody too observant for her own good. Too thinking, caring too much about every little nonsensical thing. The small tattoos, stamps of impulsivity, a lot of which didn't make sense to him at first glance, screamed anxiety, and youth, and certain motivations that were more irregular than most. It all gave away your eternal youth which was propelled by the decision to choose joy over waning. And Chibs recognized this thing because he himself had a similar one. After forty-eight years, he finally got hold of the thing that kept him young: the desire to choose joy over sadness. To choose others over himself. To choose women, as opposed to rock his bruised and injured ego and never, ever love again.
He scratched his cheek, giving a little smile, not missing a single word.
"...and who approaches me then? Fucking Edward. I was speechless. Otherwise I wouldn't have allowed him to just sit at my table. He then tells me something along the lines of, 'hey, haven't seen you in a while, how you been? Damn, you haven't changed at all...' like we were just two normal acquaintances, you know? What the fuck? And then he orders lemonade for himself, all the while I am just sitting there with my jaw on the table. Oh how I hate myself for immediately not telling him to fuck off to hell. Well, I did stab him later, so I guess I fixed it".
"If he showed up so long ago, why didn't Jackie deal with him?" asked Chibs.
"I kind of downplayed it all because I thought he was just a nuisance. I did complain about him a week ago..."
"A week?" he snarled. "This clearly yellow one", he pointed his finger to your exposed shoulder, where a non-threatening little bruise already started departing from your skin. "Is older than a week".
"Well, we were fighting yes, I didn't wanna Jackson involved. At least it was fair fights then".
"Fair fights?" another really amusing combination from his windy valley produced mouth. "You enjoy fist fighting guys twice your size?"
"I guess I do..." you realized. "Maybe I was expressing something else there".
"Masochist", he concluded, "so, Neddie's been coming 'round, slapping you for at least two weeks, and then what changed today?"
"He tried to choke me, and I grabbed the knife", you shrugged. Chibs shook his head, not in an impressed way, but in a judgemental way.
"This bloke could've killed you. Killed a beautiful little woman, and that would've been the end of the story".
"But he didn't, and it wasn't"
"Ya got very lucky".
"Well, thanks a lot, it wasn't just luck".
"I hear you, Y/N, but believe me when I say it was", he said seriously, "you're brave girl, but having a knife at your side that moment was just wonderful".
You sighed, pouting a little. You did work hard to tear out this victory today. You didn't realize you had been actually fighting for your life, up until now. With Ned, it was always battle for your dignity. That went too far, or at least you thought so. Clearly, Chibs thought differently.
"So, there you have it, like Queen".
i'm going slightly mad,
it finally happened!
i'm slightly mad!
and there you have it,
Freddie repeated after you again, through the speakers at the bar. The space was filling with people.
Chibs was shaking his head slowly.
"Now, you", you demanded, without letting him give any comments. You didn't want to hear his estimation of this miserable story. The black eyes caught your face as he lifted his a little.
"Me? A story?"
"Yes. Where did you get the smile?"
"Me smile?" and he showed it a little. He probably was oblivious to the scars already, having worn them for so long.
"The one that's been cut into you, with a blade".
"Oh, that. I forget about them sometimes".
"They weirdly suit you".
Chibs changed a little. As if a trace of the past insecurity brushed over his face. He touched one of the scars, the more perfect one, on his left cheek, with the tip of his finger.
"That's even a longer story, for another time".
"That's not fair", you retorted.
"Life ain't fair at all".
"Y/N!" Jackson's voice said he was anxious to see you, probably to see if you were okay. The youngest of the Sons stormed into the bar, and you stretched your neck to be visible to him. He rushed to your booth, stopping in his tracks at the sight of the lavish table, the amount of alcohol, Chibs, soft and relaxed, and your bruises.
His bright blue eyes were scanning you, and Chibs, and then you again, and then Chibs.
"Took you long enough", Scotsman unplugged the tension between you.
"You wanna sit?" you offered. Jax shook his head.
"You alright? Why are you so bruised? Why are you so..."
"She's a killer widow, Jackie", Chibs explained, and you couldn't contain the laughter at his readiness to play along, be it about the very big pizza cutter, or this. "She's celebrating his death".
"Come, ugh", Jackson was speaking to his mate, but looking at you still, with worry, "with me, Chibs, help me see what to do with the body".
Chibs could give him a hundred counter arguments, but he knew why the youngster wanted him. So he quickly nodded to you, lifting himself up from the table, and they started walking.
The heat was slowly retreating by the evening, the sky raspberry and orange. But the air was still hot, like a swamp. Jax was all flustered, what and why, and Chibs is a bastard for oggling over his sister on the day that was so traumatic for her. Telford did his best to explain that he was now, at least, acting in her best interest, and noted fairly that she's been taking shit from her weird soy ex for a whole two weeks, no less.
"I had no idea..."
"Ye had no idea that's right", he nudged the boy lightly, "should keep a better eye on such a volatile kinda girl. Her aura screams trouble", Chibs jeered.
"Oh, don't give me this crap, like you know anything about aura now..."
"I know a whole lot about aura, Jackie, I'm a spiritual person..."
Jax snorted, annoyed, holding himself onto the box of the car where Ned was starting to bloat a little.
"Go on and get rid of this loser", Chibs advised, "and I'll keep an eye on her".
"Why don't we swap places?"
"Nay, I earned that. You know how heavy this motherfucker was? And I've been listening the whole fucking four hour backstory of their relationship just there", he stabbed the space behind his shoulder with a thumb, "nah, I am now collecting..."
"It's my sister you're talking about", Jackson broadened his shoulders like he always did when he wanted to assert dominance. He was a very good guy, Jackie. Chibs loved him very much. He caressed the guy's shoulder, giving him a peaceful smile.
But before he could confess just how much he appreciated her, the loud cry came from the bar. Thump, then cry again, and then, swearing.
"Jesus Christ..."
They ran back, pushing through three or four people who were just standing in the middle of the way, staring. Back at the last booth, a big guy, someone from the other side of the town, was sitting next to Y/N, at this point against his will. He probably did try to land next to her to smell her hair and give her a compliment or two. But the spooked girl pushed a sharp meat knife that had been brought together with the sausages, through the back of his hand. Now, he was attached to the table, screaming like an idiot. Jax rushed towards the bartender who, blind with shock, charged towards Y/N who was trying to fight off the enraged admirer who clutched her hair and was roaring curses. Chibs cut the space between them in three steps, pulling the knife out with a swing, and hugging the guy into the crook of his elbow.
"She must have told you to fuck off, didn't she?" he hissed, before landing a slap across his face.
"Go on, then!"
Jax was trying to calm the workers down and not let them close to you. Watching all that, you did feel like a princess for a second. Like they were some kind of very intellectually advanced apes, who protected their territory so efficiently. And you were now included into their territory. You saw Chibs, standing straight, looking back at you with his adorable dimples on scary face. That's what he is. The guarding dog. A little menacing, sure. Doesn't bite you.
He watched her face, ready to tell you off.
"Did I, or did I not say no more stabbing today?" he inquired, knowing full well that if you went on a whole stabbing spree, he'd trail behind. The blushing face pumped with blood, the glimmering eyes with red liner, the pride with which you carried you battle wounds, the skin, the innocent startled look you gave him, the small droplets of blood on collarbones, breasts tucked away under the gaping top - shit was good, and he wanted it, so bad.
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Accident -KSI
words: 0.7k+
warnings: angst, skiing accident, hospitals, recovery.
summary: when abroad skiing for a sidemen video you have an accident and everyone’s worried about you.
notes: I love this request and I feel like JJ is such a cutie so he would definitely react like this💞. I hope you enjoy my loves!!😊🫶🏼
Liked by tobjizzle, taliamar and 521,870 others
y/username: how it started vs how it's going😭
-comments-
ksi: ❤️🩹❤️🩹
freyanightingale: my poor girl🥺
y/nfanpage21: omfg what happened? Are you ok?
user31083649: isn't she filming for a sidemen vid?
-> user29736105: yea. I'm not sure if they'll post it now tho🤷♂️
"Shit! Babe, are you okay?!" JJ shouted, racing over to me. I could barely hear him. My ears were ringing and my head hurt. "y/n? y/n can you hear me? Answer me!" He scrambled as I began to come back into consciousness. "I'm ok." I croaked. My voice coming out much more quiet than I thought it would. "Fucking hell! You scared the shit out of me." I tried to sit up, a sharp pain spread through my leg. I hissed. JJ started to panic for a second time. "Don't move! What is it? Your leg?" I nodded. "Ok I'm gonna call an ambulance."
It felt a little bit like a blur after that. I was rushed to the nearby hospital where they completely checked me over. Almost an hour after we arrived the doctor came back with the results of their tests. "So, you have a concussion which is most likely from the impact of the fall and is the reason you blacked out. Your leg is severely bruised since that was what you landed on but nothing is broken. You are very lucky." She explained sweetly. A weight lifted from my shoulders. JJ let out a relived breath. "Thank you." I smiled. "You'll need to rest and take it easy for the next few weeks but you should be just fine."
We flew home the next day and I was treated like a complete princess. JJ cancelled everything in order to take care of me. I slept, watched reality tv, cuddled with our little dog and ate the food JJ brought to me, which mostly consisted of uber eats since I'm usually the cook. Yinka (JJ's mum) came round to bring me some home cooked food and to make sure that I was okay, which was really sweet. I got many texts from all of my friends along with the boys who were really concerned when they saw I'd had an accident.
I wasn't initially supposed to be going on the trip but Vik became Ill so they asked if I could step in last minute, since every time I go on there channel the video does really well. I agreed and we left for the airport the next day.
I spent the first day on the bad team with Simon and Harry which they both felt bad about but I'm really close with Simon since I've known him for so many years so I wasn't that bothered. I had to spend the night in a tiny room with them, me on the top bunk. Then JJ and Harry swapped so I ended up remaining on the bad team with Simon and JJ, I wasn't really mad though because I can't ski and I'd rather have the funny experience with JJ.
Then only one hour in I lost control and practically rolled off of a small snowy cliff. I landed in the snow after only falling about three metres but I was going full speed, doing something I wasn't familiar with. They asked if I wanted the video to be cancelled and I told them that was ridiculous. I fell on the last day and wasn't injured that badly plus the whole thing was caught on camera so it was great content.
"I'm seriously so glad you're ok. I was really worried for a second." JJ said quietly as he gently ran his hand through my hair. I yawned as we were about to go to sleep. "Could you imagine if I had died? I can see the headlines now, 'KSI's girlfriend dies while filming sidemen Sunday'" I played it out with my hands. He chuckled. "I love you. Good night." He kissed my forehead. I nuzzled closer into his shoulder. "I love you too." I whispered as I drifted off to sleep.
Liked by ksi, faithloisak and 410,732 others
y/username: thank you for your lovely messages but I'm ok, just realised I'm shit at skiing😘
-comments-
miniminter: committed to the content
-> y/username: a little too committed😂
taliamar: side note: you look stunning!
y/nfanpage21: I'm glad she's alive x
user71209374: the puppy🥹💕
#ksi#jj olatunji#jj#ksi x reader#ksi image#ksi oneshot#jj olatunji x reader#youtuber x reader#sidemen x reader#british youtubers#fanfic#image#oneshot#x fem!reader#x female reader#x y/n#x you#x reader#skiing#accident#angst#fluff
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Spoiler talk and thought for 2x08 (Mostly regarding Devil's Minion, but a few other things as well):
I didn't like that ending with Daniel. At all. The point of fact is when I first saw that whole thing? I hated it. Viscerally.
And right now, the only thing that has calmed that feeling is knowing that we are getting a Season 3. And being willing to see what they do with this.
Because otherwise? This ending feels like the type of ending you'd get with a modern film remake of the 1994 movie. You know, with Lestat popping up in Daniel's car, indicating he was going to turn him? Which basically ignores that Devil's Minion is a thing. That happened.
This ending, in a lot of ways, feels like that one to me. And hey, back in 1994, before I read the books and knew Devil's Minion was a thing, that felt like a very satisfying ending.
But because I have read the books and do know about it? No. No, it wasn't.
This ending leaves way too much ambiguity. Purposefully, I can see that. But still. And I'm sorry, I'm just kind of not in the mood for that right now. Don't get me wrong, I get it. I get why they did it. But I'm just not in the mood for it. Especially when it comes to Devil's Minion.
But that is the peril of shipping the secondary couple in a story. They are the B (even C) plot in the overall scheme of things. This ending was about and for Louis. Bringing his character full circle to a place of healing and working on closure. And in that respect, the episode succeeded magnificently. I have zero issues or complaints.
But as far as my Devil's Minion-loving self goes? Again, the only thing that saves this for me as an ending wrt Daniel and Armand is knowing there is a Season 3 coming. Because if this had been all we got . . .
As a Devil's Minion fan since 1995, I did not wait all these years for this.
But, let me lay a few other things out about all of this to explain myself:
First yes, the setup for the chase having happened in the 70s is still there. That hasn't changed, even with this ending.
Because no, they are NOT going to do the Devil's Minion chase with Daniel already a vampire. Especially if Armand really did turn him. That makes no damn sense whatsoever. The whole point of the chase was that it turned into an elaborate courting ritual that gave time for Armand and Daniel to get to know each other. Armand chasing his own fledgling? After supposedly turning him out of spite?
No. Sorry. Not happening. That is not Devil's Minion in any way, shape, or form. The point was for Armand to fall in love with a human and Daniel to fall in love with a monster. For them both to see each other fully as they are in those ways, and fall for each other anyway. Not for Armand -- who loathes the very idea of turning someone -- to do it out of spite and then just abandon him -- or stalk him after he turn him and falls in love with him after that. Or for Daniel to in any way see Armand as having turned him out of spite.
And speaking of that:
Armand turning Daniel out of spite? Hell fucking no. That is, frankly, the opposite of how their relationship, and the turning of Daniel, go.
Armand abandoning Daniel after turning him? Hell fucking no. Armand only left Daniel after he was turned because Daniel wanted him gone. Daniel was the one who initiated the breakup (when you read Rice's Tulane notes about it).
And Daniel, even a Daniel who might be mad at Armand for turning, being that blasé about it all? Hell fucking no. Frankly, Daniel's whole attitude as a vampire was rubbing me the wrong freakin' way because it just didn't feel like him. Not to me.
Seriously. With the way this went down on its surface if you don't know the books, it would be very easy to think that Armand was flat-out lying when he said he'd never made another vampire before after you watch that reveal -- and hear that dialog -- about Daniel's turning. It was all so crass and cavalierly presented.
Which is why this whole thing reads as either a.) a DAMN BIG misunderstanding wrt what happened between Armand and Daniel, or b.) an excellent adaptation of the IWTV book but a terrible adaptation of Devil's Minion, or c.) that there is a whole truckload of context missing when it comes to that final scene.
And point-c goes into, for me at least, what the major thing that had me going "WTF is this?" about it all:
How is it that this show, which showed in this very episode mind you, (noting something from all the way back in Season 1 about Lestat not being able to talk to Louis via his mind in episode 1x02), that it keeps track of even the little details about things but . . . somehow gets Daniel's vampire eye color wrong?
Because yes, they did get it wrong. I rewatched the scene of the reveal of Daniel's eyes (specifically) three times now. And looked very carefully at them, Daniel's eyes start out as their normal human blue but then MORPH into a kind of yellowish-orange to denote that he's a vampire now. (And btw, since when can vampire's eyes do that!? Armand, at 500 years old, was wearing full-ass contact lenses to hide his vampire eyes. But Daniel, who's got to be at most 2 years old in vampire years, can morph/change his eye color at will? 😑)
Anyway. Is this show trying to tell me that they can change Louis' eyes to green when he becomes a vampire to homage to his book counterpart, but they don't know that Daniel's eyes are supposed to be violet? Something that is said directly about him right at the top of the Devil's Minion chapter? And is an eye color that Armand remarks about right before The Chase starts about how unusual it is?
No way. No way this show gets that detail wrong.
I said this in reply to someone a few weeks ago in a Direct Message after I made my predictions about Daniel getting turned, and I'm going to say it here: If Daniel's eye color isn't purple/violet, then the person turned is not Daniel. A body swap has already happened if that is the case, which is an argument I kind of already made in an ask I answered about a possible body swap here.
Because flat-out truth: we don't actually know if Armand tuned Daniel. We didn't see it. Louis didn't see it. You can't tell another vampire's maker just by looking at them. Daniel called Armand his Maker. Meaning, that is probably what Daniel told Louis. But we didn't see it.
And Daniel's eye color, what his vampire eye color should be, is completely wrong.
Yes, they very well could do something like a body swap off-screen. Because, hell, if this show had been canceled after Season 2, at least they got the main story, Louis' story, done. Going into things like body switching and all of that? Would have taken way too much time to explain and been a long-ass digression when they only had a short amount of time to wrap up that main story -- Louis' story.
Raglan James. Look, maybe Justin Kirk's character is Marius in truth, IDK. But right now? At this moment? I'm doubtful again. And that switching bodies comment he made in 2x06 of his was a "wink wink, nudge nudge" obvious thing to say (when it comes to books fans), but maybe that was the point. That it was too obvious and so we'd dismiss it. When it very much was going to happen. And now has.
The Talamasca being the one to publish the book -- which was confirmed that they did in this episode -- would have put Daniel in close proximity to James. For months.
So until we get Season 3 showing me Daniel (as Daniel) getting turned -- and by who -- I'm not believing that was Daniel at the end. Sorry, people can disagree with me on this, it's fine. But unless Rolin Jones himself flat-out says that was Daniel -- and not just in body but in mind/spirit /consciousness as well? I'm not going to believe it until I see his turning with my own eyes. Hopefully in Season 3. But I have a gut feeling I'm going to have to wait until Season 4. 😑
And look, I know many people do not want Daniel to be body-swapped. And so will probably resist everything I just said above about it very much being a possibility that already happened. And hey, maybe at the top of Season 3 when we see Daniel again (if we do) they'll change his eye color to violet, (or morph his eyes that color, IDK 🙄), and when we see the actual turning of Daniel we'll see that Armand didn't do it out of spite despite what Louis said about it happening right after he left Daniel alone with Armand (!!!), and they'll explain why Daniel is fine being on his own as a rouge vampire and still hates Armand and . . .
But right now? No. I'm not in the damn mood to try and make this work or make sense. I'm just not. Because it doesn't make any IMO. Not if you want to keep to the heart of what Daniel and Armand's love story is about.
And really. Daniel getting turned didn't bring his memories of the 1970s -- and yes the Devil's Minion chase with Armand -- back? Really?
Unless the show is honestly going to sit here and tell me that the chase didn't happen back then and so, therefore, Armand really did turn Daniel out of spite and not love?
Or is Armand now messing with Daniel's memories and blocking things from his mind now -- while keeping himself hidden from Daniel of course as he does so! Even though, as his Maker, accessing Daniel's mind like that wouldn't be very easy I should think.
Or, let me guess, the chase somehow did happen sometime between Louis throwing Armand into the wall and Daniel having the book published. Even though Daniel would have been in close contact and proximity to the Talamasca the whole damn time he was writing and editing the book in prep for it being published. Somehow, Daniel is supposed to find time to run around the world from Armand during all of that, without the Talamasca knowing about it? While he's in the middle of writing it? (Because Daniel only had recordings, remember? As he said himself in Episode 1x01, he still had to write it all up. Not to mention how Louis set Daniel's laptop on fire. Guess he kept a backup copy of the recordings in The Cloud.)
And that is all moot anyway, given what Louis said about when Daniel was (supposedly) turned. Daniel would have been a vampire during all of that since Armand supposedly turned Daniel during however long Louis left Daniel and Armand alone together in Dubai (!!!).
Does everyone see all the holes in all of this? Yet, this is a show that called back to episodes 1x02 and 1x03 about Lestat not being able to use the Mind Gift to talk to Louis, as well as what Lestat is capable of wrt his Mind Gift ability over humans. They set up the contradiction that put holes in Armand's story about the trial that far back. But somehow leave plot holes like this . . .?
To put it all bluntly, the minute I saw Danie's eyes -- and the way he changed their color like that, to that color? I think I actually recoiled. I recoiled at that whole damn scene. Because as far as the Devil's Minion storyline goes, the heart of it? That is not Devil's Minion. And I stand by that.
But hey, except for all of that wrt Devil's Minion, I actually liked the rest of the episode, for the most part. 🤷🏾♀️ Pretty much everything having to do with Louis and I really liked Loustat's reunion too. Though I might be missing something wrt it because it's clearly an adaptation of the contested meeting of them at the end of the IWTV book, but then . . . Louis goes back to Dubai to live after that? And I'm pretty sure he's alone and Lestat's not with him. Hmm. 🤔
The reveal of Armand doing what he did wrt the trial -- yeah, that's not all there is to it. We'll get major parts of the story from Lestat's POV next season, but we are not going to hear about the whole thing until we get Armand's POV. Because that little POV of the real trial that we saw was probably just Louis figuring things out about what happened. Not Armand's POV of it.
And which hey, to circle back to Daniel's turning again wrt Armand, this turning throws his character under the bus even more IMO, if any of what the show implied about it actually happened. Again, him even remotely turning Daniel so casually, out of spite, leaves open for a general audience that Armand is flat-out lying about having never turned anyone. Especially given the timing of when Louis implied Daniel was turned, which is right after he left them alone together in Dubai.
See, after the events of both IWTV and TVL, what Devil's Minion did and showed, even to Anne Rice herself, was that Armand wasn't just some manipulative little evil gremlin. That he actually did have a heart, deeply capable of love. Shown by his falling in love with a human. Again, that is a key point -- he fell for Daniel as a human. He turned Daniel because that love was deeper than his fear about making another vampire. And Armand only left Daniel after that turning when Daniel wanted him gone.
If you change that, then you change a massive point wrt Armand's growth and depth as a character. And, from the little info we got, that is very much what we see and have been told wrt Daniel's turning if any remote part of it was true. And, as I said, there really is no room to squeeze in things like a chase or Armand turning Daniel out of love. Not in my view at least, even everything I already laid out above about it.
I'm not in the mood to go into "maybe's" about all this right now. That is all just some hoop jumping I'm not in the mood to do at the moment.
Oh and I guess Daniel was the character who needed the second interview to happen? He was the one who needed it in 2x05 and Louis was the one who needed it in 2x08. Okay.
So yeah, as I said, as far as an adaptation of the first book goes, I really do think it was brilliant and excellently done. Espcially wrt Louis' story. The problem is, however, I know what the rest of the story is and where it goes. And that this all isn't over yet. And, unfortunately, I can't erase that from my head.
So in that regard, especially when it comes to the one storyline I never thought I'd ever see adapted? To say I'm frustrated is to put it mildly. Because if that really was Daniel, body and spirit/soul then I can't see myself ever liking how they adapted this version of Devil's Minion. Not right now. And they are going to have to go a long way to explain it and win me over to it if this is really the set place we're going with this is how Daniel was turned and him as a vampire -- if they can.
Sorry to end this on a kind of downer note. I will say, I'm not quitting the show over this or something. Right now I am open to see where they take this and if I'm correct about many of the things I've said or not. It's just I was never going to be able to see that ending in a vacuum wrt Devil's Minion . . . which I could wrt the 1994 because I saw it before I read the books.
So this is very likely an instance where non-book readers have an advantage over book readers in how they reacted to the Daniel part of that ending vs how I did. I can recognize that. And at least I don't feel like the show was insulting my intelligence with what they did. Not yet at least, as I can see where things have been left open to correct a LOT of stuff. I just wish I didn't have to wait through a hiatus wrt this to see where and how they are really going to take this. But at the very least, I think this hiatus will be shorter than the last one.
So yeah, again, as far as an adaptation of IWTV the book goes? Excellent. As far as the Devil's Minion storyline goes regarding Daniel's turning? No. Frustratingly incomplete when I look at it kindly but critically; and just a flat-out bad adaptation of it if I take all of that which we saw at face value.
#Daniel Molloy#Armand#The Vampire Armand#Devil's Minion#The Devil's Minion#Louis de Pointe du Lac#Interview with the Vampire#amc iwtv#iwtv#Raglan James#armandaniel#iwtv spoilers#iwtv Season 2 speculation#iwtv Season 3 speculation#fair warning: long ass rant in here#writing this out has calmed me -- somewhat#and hey overall? I thought Louis' story was excellently done
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»»--- the art of annoying Jobe ---►
pairing: jobe bellingham x black!reader
summary: in which I discuss how much you love annoying Jobe in the relationship
author’s note: if you want you can request little headcanons subjects as this one. also I have to recreate all of my sims outfits, hence why I'm inconsistent, sorry
word count: 414
Jobe looks so sensitive and easy to piss off so annoying him was definitely your favourite thing to do.
Your go-to was to scream in his ear unannounced. The way he would flinch or turn to look at you with widened eyes would have you on the floor dying of laughter:
You crept behind the sofa about to scare him. Once you got close enough, you violently slapped your hands on his shoulder and screamed next to his ear making him flinch
“What the fuck is wrong with you ?!” He loudly spoke looking at you as if you were a weird creature.
“I’m sorry” You managed to get out, still catching your breath from laughing too much
Filming him was also one of your favourites. We all know he has a particular dislike for cameras. The simple fact of holding your phone as if you were filming him could end up in you receiving any type of objects to make you stop: pillows, spoons and whatever.
With how sensitive he was, he could stop talking and ignore you for more than an hour. You could be begging for forgiveness but he would keep his eyes on whatever he’s doing and not pronounce a word:
“Jobe, stop ignoring me” You dragged following him out of the kitchen.
It seems like your little water prank didn’t amuse him as much as you.
“Jobe” You called again but he just turned his back to not look at you
“You’re childi- Shut up” He cut you off still not meeting your eyes, making you giggle a bit.
His childish reactions made him look even cuter in your eyes. His eyebrows would knit, concentrating on the screen in front of him.
Though he could stay mad for a long, it was always moments when he would fold and crack a little smile before remembering he was supposed to be mad at you.
But don’t be fooled, Jobe annoys you too. He would always use hot water while you’re in the shower so that it turns stone cold:
Jobe turned the heat of the sink all the way up with a slight smirk on her face.
“JOBEEEEE” He heard your raging scream accompanied by the sound of the running shower.
You grabbed your towel turned the shower off and got out, anger written all over your face. You walked into the kitchen facing him. He just laughed in your face, making sure to stay on the opposite side of you.
like, repost and suggest if you want (hope you liked it)
masterlist for more
#written by bl00dst41ned#black writers#jobe bellingham#jobe bellingham x reader#jobe bellingham x black reader#jobe bellingham headcanon
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waterparks // rock sound 25 icon issue
(full text under cut)
ROCK SOUND 25 ICON
WATERPARKS
WATERPARKS HAVE NEVER BEEN A BAND THAT ARE HAPPY TO SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, RELEASING FIVE STUDIO ALBUMS IN THE LAST SEVEN YEARS WHILE CONTINUING TO GROW THEIR INCREASINGLY AMBITIOUS LIVE SHOWS. AS THEY ACCEPT THEIR ROCK SOUND 25 ICON AWARD, FRONTMAN AWSTEN KNIGHT TALKS US THROUGH THE BEGINNINGS OF THE BAND IN HOUSTON, TEXAS AND WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS FOR THE TRIO.
WORDS: JAMES WILSON-TAYLOR PHOTOS: JAWN ROCHA
"NO MATTER WHAT, ALL THOSE ALL THOSE BANDS LIKE GOOD CHARLOTTE, GREEN DAY AND BLINK, THEY'RE STILL GOING TO BE IN THE BONES AND FOUNDATION OF WHAT WE'RE DOING."
Let's start at the beginning - what are your earliest musical memories?
Alright, so you can start the article with this - as I crawled out of my mother, my dad made sure the first song I ever heard was 'Wouldn't It Be Nice? by The Beach Boys. The other day somebody asked me what would be the last song I wanted to hear if I knew I was gonna die. I mean, I have death songs, don't get me wrong. I've got songs that I would choose to die to, some Death Cab and Motion City Soundtrack. But I think because I love bookends and I love like tying things together. I would have to listen to 'Wouldn't It Be Nice?'.
He took you to a lot of The Beach Boys shows when you were growing up too right?
I do remember those. It would always be on the Fourth of July. How were they always in Houston? He'd also be listening to stuff like Van Halen. My mom really liked Prince. My dad didn't like my mom's music; she liked Cat Stevens and Bob Dylan. But I remember watching TV getting dressed in the mornings, VH1 and MTV, and being so afraid of Mudvayne. They would film it at that frame rate that's the same as 28 Days Later and they had the devil makeup on. So I remember music scaring the shit out of me.
Do you remember the bands and music that you first connected with?
I heard 'Fat Lip' by Sum 41 on the radio in fourth grade. We were in my dad's Honda Civic and I was like 'What is this?' Then I saw it on TV later. Then that got me into Green Day, Good Charlotte, Blink-182. It helped that MTV actually played those things so I could find them. So that was the first stuff that I really gravitated towards in fourth, fifth, sixth grade. Then in sixth and seventh grade, that's when I started getting more into what nerds would be mad at me calling emo like My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy, From First To Last. A few years ago at my parents' house, I found these mix CDs and they had Linkin Park, Chronic Future, that song 'United States Of Whatever', Bowling For Soup. That's when I was buying stuff. Basically once I heard 'Fat Lip', I was just like, 'well, now I'm going to hear all of the songs like this'.
You were lucky to grow up at that time where this kind of music was more easy to discover because it was everywhere in pop culture. That is partly why those bands are still so influential.
I feel like no matter what, all those bands like Good Charlotte, Green Day and Blink, they're still going to be in the bones and foundation of what we're doing. I can still explore as much as I want with production and go do weird shit and try and push things forward as much as possible, because that should be your job as a musician, at least partially. But at the end of the day, the house was still built on that.
As you started playing in bands and playing shows yourself, what did you make of the local scene in Houston?
I started playing shows when I was 13. I've done my 10,000 hours. I remember when I was in seventh and eighth grade; there were some punk bands in the Houston scene that I remember seeing all the fucking time. I still have all these flyers still. But the vast majority, I'd say 85% of the bands, were mainly hardcore. That's mainly what the Houston scene was. So I remember my friends and I would just spend every day at local venues. When you're young, you absorb things better and you learn more. I think that's why when kids start piano when they're three, they can be prodigies, you know what I mean? But I feel like I got that with music that ultimately wouldn't help me very much in the future. I could still list 100 bands from Houston that those people have probably forgotten that they were in by this point. But we would just hang out and if a local band somehow didn't pull through, they would let us go take their spot. I was probably in eight different bands over the course of like three or four years. Whoever I was with, we would just go play the shows. We'd make some songs up, we played covers sometimes. We covered The Used and Motion City Soundtrack, Scary Kids Scaring Kids.
Your first couple of Waterparks' EPs were self- made and self-released, keeping in that DIY spirit. Yet it still felt like you were ambitious and aiming high even back then.
Can I tell you the difference between then and now? See, I don't advertise this information but I don't even listen to that much music now. I'm trying to be better about that and I've got certain friends that will give me stuff to immerse myself. But I've gotten maybe a little bit frustrated. There's so many times where I keep finding cool people on Tik Tok when I finally do go looking for new music, and I'll talk to them for a second and maybe see if they wanna open up for us on tour but they can't because so many fucking people are just quiet signed to major labels. It irritates the shit out of me and the reason they're hiding it is because everybody is so obsessed with authenticity, which they have the right to be, you want your shit to be organic, homegrown, free range, cruelty free, all that shit. But everything that I look at is just a fucking marketing trick or ploy. What is the equivalent of me just being in my fucking room at my parents' house?
"I FEEL MORE LOOSE AND I FEEL LIKE EVERY TOUR I GET BETTER AS A SINGER."
In terms of your attitude back then, you were just treating those self-releases as if you were already on a major label. It didn't feel less legit to you.
Day and night, you're working on those things. It was very real. We're about to get to the point of this conversation where we start trying to quantify success and what it means and it's intangible, we can't do it. But what I do know is you can easily get tricked and be like, 'Oh, my Tik Toks are getting millions of hits' and then draw 20 people to your show. I've seen it happen. So I just care how many people ride with you and will leave their home to come see you play. I don't care how many fucking playlists you bought, I don't care how many ads you run on your Spotify, I don't care if YouTube picked you up on their fucking algorithm - good for you because they've never done that for us - but I want to know how many people fuck with you.
With your own live show, when did you feel like it clicked for Geoff, Otto and yourself? When did you first feel like you understood what a Waterparks show should be?
Maybe 'Fandom'. I didn't start taking vocal lessons till 2021. I feel like that's the first time where I look back and it's not just us playing a song and then stopping and then playing the song and then stopping. It's where we actually built a show. That's when we had 'Double Dare 2019' and 'Entertainment 2019' where we were playing for eight minutes straight and made me feel like fucking Green Day. Like some like 'Jesus of Suburbia', 'Bullet In A Bible' type shit. That's not me saying I thought we sucked during 'Entertainment'. That's not what it is at all. We did cool shit. We did Reading & Leeds main stage on 'Entertainment'. But I just feel like things clicked more on 'Fandom'. I feel so much more comfortable onstage every single tour. I feel more loose and I feel like every tour I get better as a singer. I better not get fucking worse. As long as you're continuing to practice and improve. I need to go fucking play tennis and boxing and all this other shit to be at my best when we're touring, you know what I mean? As long as I'm not fully just lounging and then going straight to the stage, I should, in theory, be a better performer.
You mentioned Reading & Leeds, which was one of many milestone moments you've had in the UK. How do you reflect on your relationship with the fans over here?
I give the UK a lot of shit for their food and everything but truthfully, those are my favourite shows in the world. They've always given us the most love and I just feel like the UK appreciates bands more. You know what I mean? I wonder if it's because the BBC still plays guitars? Or maybe they just care about rock culture more.
So to jump back a little, when you were making 'Double Dare', what aims did you have? What was on your to-do list around that time?
I could tell you the list. A big bucket list. I don't erase things when I complete them, I just add on. (Looking through his computer) Let's see…I can tell you one of the things it says here is 'A Rock Sound cover'. I tried to fill it out as much as I could with the knowledge that I had because sometimes you don't know what goals you can ask for. You know what I mean? I put 'Have a Top 10 album' and then you get to mark that off. 'Headline Reading and Leeds', not marked off. 'Have a music video on TV. Get shirts in Hot Topic. Play a show with Kesha. Get an apartment. Get a music video with 100K views. Record an album.' I got to mark that one off. There's a ton. I think when you're making that, you also have to look big. You have to project and manifest big shit. When I was in my parents' house thinking about 'Crave' with $0 to my name, I was thinking about playing that in arenas. We hadn't played a show to more than 500 people at that point. So yeah, I think it's always just pretending you're Coldplay. That kind of doesn't change. I mean, I guess until you become Coldplay, and then you're like 'how do we be as big as God?'
“AT A CERTAIN POINT, THERE ARE THINGS THAT YOU DEAL WITH THAT THERAPISTS DON'T UNDERSTAND. SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO ACCEPT THOSE THINGS."
You've been very fortunate to have some mentors help guide you towards those goals with Joel and Benji Madden and Mikey Way all there to give advice from early on.
So as we said earlier, we didn't have anyone in our corner when we were doing 'Airplane Conversations', 'Black Light' and writing 'Cluster'. Nobody was around; it was just us at home. Joel and Benji both reached out quickly after the other. They were the first people to ever give us the good shit. 'Hey, we see what you're doing. It's cool'. They were the first established people to ever reach out and give us props. I was babysitting and our fucking first label we had just signed with was like, 'Hey, what are you doing tomorrow?' I'm like, 'Oh, just probably babysitting, teaching guitar lessons'. And they're like, 'Well, do you want to come to Los Angeles and have lunch with Benji and Joel?' Then I'm hitting up Geoff and Otto and we come out and we talked about our goals. Fast-forward, they're like 'You want to do some co-writes?' I wanted to be a team player about it because back then especially, I was like 'nobody touches our shit, we don't get help from anybody, we are DIY'. I was so fucking close-minded punk about it. But when they heard all the demos, they went 'Oh, wait, you already have all these. Do you want to use these?' So that's 'Cluster'. That's when Mikey came through and was listening to us. He was always just so nice. He's like 'I'd love to play on it'. So I'm sitting there showing him the bass parts, and he's getting it fucking immediately. It was so weird. I felt like I could be arrested any second and just immediately sound like a crazy person. 'No, no, no, I was talking to My Chemical Romance and Good Charlotte's my friend'. At a certain point, there are things that you deal with that therapists don't understand. Sometimes it's hard to accept those things. Let's say I'm on a tour, which is already a scary thing. You're in a van, you're not fucking sleeping. You have no fucking money. Part of your team is trying to go back on the already shitty contract you have and you're getting fucking cheated on and you're doing just a bunch of crazy shit. You can't call a therapist for that shit. So I would talk to them, especially Joel. I would save those conversations, because I would have to go back to them so much. His time is valuable. It's almost like a cheat sheet in a way. It doesn't perfectly tie up all those bad things but those are probably the best answers I'm gonna get.
Let's talk about playing Warped Tour. You did it a few times in those early years and it must have been a pretty good learning process on how to grow your fanbase.
All 2016 we toured on 'Cluster'. 'Stupid For You' didn't come out until November that year. The reason I think I'm so good at marketing is because I had to do fucking all of it for four years straight. I was talking to somebody about this the other day where they were like, 'Oh man, if you guys ever opened for Taking Back Sunday, you'd fucking kill it. You'd get so many fans'. No, we wouldn't. And I can say this confidently, because I've promoted outside of three of their shows and I can tell you, those people did not like us. There's always the exception that proves the rule, but for the most part, I can tell you where we will and will not thrive because I've promoted to every fucking fan base. So Warped wasn't really different. Based on what shirts they were wearing at barricade or certain age ranges; I have a good meter of who will fuck with it and who will not. A Sleeping With Sirens fan would fucking love us, a Bayside fan would fucking hate us. You get what I mean? Paramore fans would fucking love us. An Alkaline Trio fan would fucking hate us. But the thing is, at Warped, you're kind of forced to exercise that muscle because all of those people are walking by. I wasn't shy on stage or anything but I think that could be one of the reasons I'm really good at crowd work. There's been a lot of bands we've toured with who say 'I don't know how you just talk to them for fucking five minutes between songs about different shit every night'. I don't know how you don't.
"IF IT'S NOT GOING UP AND GETTING BIGGER AND BETTER, I DON'T REALLY WANT TO DO IT."
Once you got to 'Fandom' and 'Greatest Hits', you were far more comfortable with experimenting musically and on the production side too. Did you feel a change in your confidence levels when you reached that era?
Confidence wise, yeah, but I think I'm too close to really see how big of a difference there is on certain things. I always wanted to be able to do 'Fandom' and even on the first EP with songs like 'Fantastic' or 'Silver', we are adding a weird synthy thing or vocal cuts. I was trying to explain that to this kid in the garage in the middle of fucking redneck nowhere woods, Texas. He just cut the voice and I'm like 'pitch it up and drag this one there'. Or bringing a weird, syncopated piano thing into the outro. I tried to make sure of that early on because I've always been such a fan of so many things. I just wanted that to come across even on album one. 'Crave' was a fully electronic thing, 'Territory' I wanted that to be an indie kind of vibe and then 'Mad All The Time' I wanted to be more industrial, kind of like Linkin Park with those weird, major melodies. 'Take Her To The Moon', full fucking pop song then throw 'Dizzy' in there with cut up shit and trappy drums. Then album two, we're gonna go fucking hard as hell with it on 'Tantrum'. I always felt like we were doing these things. But then I heard those albums the way I hear demos, where I think I hear kind of what they are in my head, what they could or should be. I remember when I showed the 'Fruit Roll Ups' demo to Travis (M. Riddle). He didn't really like it that much. It had all the same parts, all the same chords, vocals, the synth outro and the solo and all this stuff. But then when he heard the final one, where I went in with Zakk (Cervini, producer), and we beefed it up and added more stuff, he was like 'I love this one now so much'. But it's the same song. So when those first albums aren't seen as eclectic as the albums starting at 'Fandom', it would confuse me because I always felt like things were diverse. It really might just come down to the production.
One thing that certainly did change was how open you were in your lyrics. They were always honest but now they became a lot more specific over time.
Pete Wentz is my favourite lyricist and I love things just sounding as pretty as possible, trying to word things that people feel but in ways that they've never heard it described. You take a feeling like love, something that everybody fucking knows, and then just say it in a way with a combination of words that nobody has used yet. That was the goal for so long, but then I remember something kind of clicking when I was so mad and made 'Tantrum'. There was something that felt so much more cathartic. It actually gave me adrenaline and I wanted to chase that. That felt so good. There were certain songs like 'Reboot' or this demo called 'Play'. I wouldn't let a song go if it didn't give me chills. Certain lines like 'you're gonna be just like your mother', that's gonna make someone in real life so mad. So I think that's where that came from. Then songs like 'Turbulent' happened - 'you had your own Pete Wentz and Patrick combined' - and that's the start of the song. Are you kidding me? Who in the music sphere is going to hear that and not have some kind of reaction? And I just wanted a reaction. I could start 'Sleep Alone' and it doesn't have to elicit the same thing, but something as strong. They shouldn't elicit the same exact feeling, but they should elicit that dynamic level of emotional response.
“IF WE NEVER GET TO DO THIS AGAIN, I WANT TO GIVE THEM THE COOLEST SHIT POSSIBLE WHILE WE GET TO BE IN THIS SPOT."
As you mentioned earlier, it is hard to quantify success. A good example is the way 'I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don't Wanna Die Anymore' became your most streamed song, largely due to a TikTok trend you had very little to do with.
I didn't even know it was happening. Now, there's so many viral songs that the cycle is quicker. Somebody can have a song that bangs on Tik Tok for two weeks and then it's done. But this was so early on. It wasn't a single; it was a deep cut song on the album. It still doesn't have a music video. Neither does 'Turbulent'. It's just so odd because it also makes you a little mad. But then it's also a little humbling in a way. Things are out of your control, but they'll be okay.
You are still touring your most recent album 'Intellectual Property' so it is probably too early to fully analyze it but, now that we are nearly a year on from its release, how are you reflecting on what you achieved with that record?
I've told you this before but if it's not going up and getting bigger and better, I don't really want to do it. I don't want to spin the tyres in fucking mud. If it's not happening, then I'm not gonna do the trap where things start downgrading and we have to play old albums. It's not what I want. I'm good enough at other things to figure something out but preserve that legacy. But 'Intellectual Property' charted higher than any of our fucking other albums, first Top 10 in the UK. We've sold more tickets to the 'Property' tour than the 'Fandom' tour and the 'See You In The Future' tour combined. I'll say that one more time - we sold more tickets to the 'Property' tour than the entire 'Fandom' tour and the entire 'Greatest Hits' tour if you put them both together and add them up. That's the indicator to me. That's what matters to me. I did say at the top of the cycle in such a simple way that I want one of the red songs above the green songs. That's literally what I told Fueled By Ramen. So that didn't happen because the Tik Tok lords did not mysteriously bless us in our sleep. We still sold more. We got more real people in real seats. More was accomplished and it was bigger and better.
It feels like you have the same aim with each tour too - growing and building on what came before. Yet, again, you have always had those bigger ambitions for the show even when you were in slightly smaller rooms.
Dress for the job you want. With all the rooms we did on the 'Property' tour, they're the same ones that we would do for 'Greatest Hits', right? So it's like, okay, we did it. We conquered those rooms. Now we have to move up. Shit. Because otherwise, you just keep doing victory laps forever in the same rooms. So some of them, there's no fucking chance in hell we're gonna sell these out. But it's cool to try. And the thing is, it's still selling on par with the 'Property' tour. Part of me is like, damn, I wish we could have as many sold out things but there are already more people going to this show than the previous sold out one. So I pick my battles. Yeah, you could go play to 1300 people in New York again or you could try and do the fucking big ass thing. So that's kind of where it's at now. You want to build a fucking real show. On the 'Property' tour, we actually got to build shit for the first time. We built a set and this time it is just a bigger version of that. It's just bigger and with more changes. It's not even a spoiler because that's so fucking vague, but to have the show and set change as the set goes on, it's fucking cool. Sometimes I see people who are doing these same size rooms (so this isn't remotely punching down, we're doing the same rooms) and they'll just have a banner. Give them more. Give them a show. I'm so grateful to actually get to be in these rooms finally that if we never get to do this again, I want to give them the coolest shit possible while we get to be in this spot.
"NO PART OF ME IS INTERESTED IN JUST REPEATING THE CYCLE OVER AND OVER AND OVER."
Speaking of bigger shows, you got to play in arenas for the first time when you supported My Chemical Romance. Given what a huge fan you are of that band, it must have felt quite surreal.
Dude, it was so weird and so cool. Every night, the first song scared the shit out of me and then you kind of get the rhythm of it. It's just so weird. Sometimes between songs, I just had to look and take a mental picture. I saw My Chem when I was younger in an arena and I could see the seats I was in, you know what I mean? I could see people in them. You get to a certain point where stuff doesn't blow your mind as much but that blew my fucking mind every day. I remember the first time we ever got to go in a bus. It was so exciting. Now, when I get in the bus, I'm like, 'Okay, but where's the charger in the bunk? Where's the air? Is it just gonna freeze my feet?' It's not to say I'm ungrateful it just becomes more normal. If you go to the best pizza spot every day, after years of having it, it's just a good pizza spot. But getting to go open for My Chem and everything around it and all the details of it, I just never got used to. We'd go to the catering room and we'd sit down and there's Frank and there's Ray. We were in this hockey arena in the locker room and I had all my outfits, planning them out, and at one point, Gerard came through. I was showing him the fits and everything and he was like, 'Oh, you have great style'. I don't think you can get used to that. It's crazy. Maybe My Chem is used to it because they've been playing arenas for years and years and years, maybe that's the standard now. But God, that blew my fucking mind every day.
As you start to think about wrapping up this era, what are the goals as you move forward?
I just want to go places that we haven't been because that's what makes me feel excited. Like with playing in an arena for the first time, anything that is a huge dynamic change. That's all I'm looking for. I just want to feel excited. The people who like us, I appreciate them because we're so lucky enough to be in a place where we don't have to tour into the fucking ground if we don't want to just to survive. No part of me is interested in touring into the ground this year. I feel like we've been on tour for the last two and a half years straight. 2022 was preparing for this album, 2023 was promoting this album. One thing I enjoyed about 2019 was that we only did a short opening run, early in the year, and then we did the 'Fandom' tour at the end of the year. But that whole spring, summer and fall, we were just making cool shit. That made me feel excited. We made so many music videos and just did a lot of cool shit. We got to focus on the creative. I never would have been throwing around Sunny D in my apartment bathroom taking pictures of it for the 'Fandom' album cover if I had jetlag. No part of me is interested in just repeating the cycle over and over and over. I want to just do things that we haven't done yet and make stuff for everyone. Because if we go play in Copenhagen, Waterparks is for Copenhagen that day. But when I'm home and we're operating at full mental capacity and everything, we can make things for everybody. At the end of the day, I never want to fall into a pattern and repeat myself and do the same shit. I want to expand and see what we can do, what our capabilities are like. Do something that somebody hasn't done yet. I want to rent a movie theatre and do a fucking real premiere. I don't want to give a bunch of shit away but there's a lot of things that are always in the works. As Awsten, the guy steering the ship on fucking Waterparks, whatever's going on I just want it to be new and cool and feel fulfilling. If we had some fucking tyrant label that was like 'We need an album now' I could go 'There's fucking 100 songs on here. Go fucking make your album, pick them. Go have Zakk mix them'. But it's just not what intuitively feels right and I want to follow that intuition. I keep looking back at the 2019 year map as kind of a blueprint. That's not to say I'm gonna stay home all year. But it's just gotta be new. I want that feeling of getting in the bus for the first time.
#i only edited one of these outside of adjustment edits bc i realized the shadowy thing actually worked for a shoot like this let me be lazy#waterparks#awsten knight#geoff wigington#otto wood#i.zip
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first and foremost if anyone sees namtanfilm can they please give these to them 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 heartbreakingly beautiful performance 👏🏽😭
I’m not really sure what to say. There were tears. There were tears that were just falling down my face. The entire time.
The two main hits were:
May going to see Ben and then getting on her knees to ask for forgiveness!?!? 😭😭😭😭
THE ENDING WHEN THE TRUTH COMES OUT!? Niagara Falls on my face. 😭😭😭😭😭
I just want to give them all hugs! Get in here oom 🫂 (they’ll never make me hate you), one for you too may 🫂 AND DOUBLE FOR AI 🫂🫂😭😭
sorry i am unable to form any real coherent thoughts over this weeks ep.
-🤫
Wait actually I do have some extremely random thoughts 🙈
-the sibling in me shouted “SMACK HER IN THE BUTT” when oom tried waking up ai to talk with her
-I doubt that oom has ever looked bad a day in her life, just going to see Jan she looked fucking gorgeous 🫠
-no pimpangjan this ep was real bummer
i've always knew gmm has some of the best actresses in their line up. personally, and at least when it comes to qls, i would say they have the best female performers and that became clear to me in 23.5 when i saw milk acting, when i had only ever seen her in bad buddy as ink, and there wasn't much space for her in there, but as ongsa, she really showed what she's capable of. same thing with love, though i had glimpses of her in home school, and ciize who we always see as the funny best friend of gay friends. i don't think i even need to mention view who was fabulous as aylin and won everyone's hearts, too. and even godji who we often see playing cameos or joke characters, and as teacher nida, she just shinned.
i'm really glad we're getting more gls from gmm because these is their chance to showcase how amazing their actresses are. i think that both in pluto and 23.5, both casts talked about how nice it was to be on set where the majority of the cast is female, and just the other day i saw the pluto bts where film asked for namtan so she could get in the mood for an emotional scene and they didn't even need to say a word. she just looked at namtan and just like that, she was into it. these women know their craft and they trust each other.
i want them to get so many awards for their performances bc it's 100% well deserved. they are amazing in this show. and though they've had many scenes that were amazing acting wise, that last scene with may and oon, where they are both crying so much and genuinely sobbing stuck with me the most, too. that was something. i have the impression they weren't supposed to cry as much, but namtanfilm remind me of firstkhao in that aspect, especially when they were in the eclipse, where they couldn't hold back tears if the other one was crying. emotions flows and transfers to the other that easy (and i must say, too, as someone who enjoys both gls and bls, my dream would be to have these four in a project together, but i know for a fact the fandom experience would be hell).
this episode was a lot indeed. i also don't think i have a lot to say other than they made me feel a lot of things.
though i have to say, as someone who also has siblings, i was disappointed at oom's lack of insistence with oon. "oh, but she just woke up from a coma," honey, that's no excuse to not beat your sibling's ass. you're confused and need answers, annoy your older sibling like your life depends on it.
i have a mad crush on oom. idk what that says about me exactly, but maybe i'm attracted to the mean and dangerous types (see our brief conversation about gen). that woman is so pretty regardless if she's at home chilling or going out seeking for answers with her bestie. and namtan has two different types of beauties when playing the twins, it's actually crazy. i love her and i hope she gets many awards for her portrayal of ai-oon and ob-oom.
i really missed seeing throuple shenanigans this episode, too. i thought we'd get them at some point in part 3, but they didn't make it. which only brings me to the conclusion that the pang kissing pim while jan watches will happen next episode bc i can't see them pulling that off in the last episode of the show (though i'd be down for that, i mean, i wish i could see their reactions when they watch it with fans for the last ep fm)
#th: pluto#pluto the series#namtanfilm#🤫 anon#not actually a episode discussion just us talking about how amazing women are#which honestly i'm super down for
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making a massive sonic movie 3 spoiler post to get all my insane thoughts out in a place with 1) no character limit and 2) functional tags + tools lol
don't look unless youve seen it! or if you're ready to lose a measurable amount of respect for me!!
if you had told tiny little 12 year old me that someday people would not only NOT flame Amy simply for existing in this cast, but that she would have people screaming and clapping for her in public?? she wouldve called you a cruel liar! but youre not! and its finally her time!!!
I'M SO HAPPY IT WAS HER I'M NOT EVEN MAD MY SILVER PREDICTION WAS WRONG LOL (tho i did think silver wouldve been waaaaaay too much too soon and i'm glad they agreed thank god)
i had her with me ofc bc she came with the set and its like they knew they had to complete it and now i want to CRY
i dont even know if i can expand on the fact that SHE saved SONIC???? will that flip the script?? is metal her rival rather than his at first??? and why on earth did they show half of that scene in the TRAILERS????
anyways, i'm so glad they let Shadow be SILLY! even SXSG shied away from the stuff they had him do here! that boy was towing Maria around the labs and having movie marathons and making snow angels and its like every little piece of domestic fanart I've seen of them came to life and it was perfect
its still sooo fucking funny to me that they really went all-in on "50 years ago is now the 70's" bc that aesthetic worked like a charm and i can't imagine anything else now. it is kinda jarring that theyre not on the ARK and Maria isn't sick but ofc the narrative still works without those facts. people are gonna be a bit upset about that one, but out of allll the plot holes this movie has (they NEVER explain how tf Gerald is still alive btw), that's one that's pretty easy to step over
there was one part with Gerald yelling "KIDS!" and both of them turn around and it just GOT me right thru the heart like yes!! he was a kid, too!! in between all the tests and labwork, he was learning how to live and they took it all away from him right when he was starting to figure it out :(((((
their first meeting here might be so good it deserves to be canon, i'm just saying. i think that'll make me cry on the rewatch for sure
i wonder if he's just gonna chill in that random field in oklahoma like when he landed the first time lol. he deserves some peace and quiet now especially since they went with the angle that he FELT all 50 years passing?? just lived the worst moment of his life over and over and over??? holy fuck
it did kinda fuck me up in the beginning bc they kinda-sorta imply that the accident was SHADOW'S fault, then they make you wait till then end for the full flashback, where not-commander-tower actually tried to save them but the solider fired anyway
they might have fucked around and accidentally made the most tragic/angry version of Shadow bc he not only got to stew on his anger for decades, but they literally gave him a Superman origin and Gerald was just the scientist assigned to figure out wtf he was actually lol. so you just KNOW they have a "press in case of BLACK ARMS INVASION" button ready to go for another movie so he can have another identity crisis when he finds out he's literally a herald of destruction!!!!!!!!
oh yeah this movie was supposed to be about sonic actually huh
i think i agree with the general reaction that his character is really great here! the first 20 minutes are basically every trailer we've seen in sequence, so his jokes & one-liners feel top-heavy and then they even out, esp as the later acts kick in and there's no more time for games lol. those trailers are doing him a bit of a disservice now bc compared to the eggmen, sonic is hardly that obnoxious in the full film, but the marketing doesnt care ofc
The Scene that mirrors Shadow's last moment with Maria is SO GOOD, i'm kinda shocked they didn't have him turn right there (but i'm glad that it was Sonic that made him turn, and that he got to throw some of his rage right back at him in process)
Kinda goddamn wild that for a moment it seemed like Shadow had fully killed a human, onscreen, in front of god and everybody. I actually wondered if he could still come back from that, for a minute.
it seems to be a common opinion that they went a bit too far with the jim carrey-isms, and i agree. i generally felt like it was an ok balance for awhile, then they cut into LIVE & LEARN with gerald spanking ivo and i actually sighed and cringed. you dont cut into live & learn for anything, but especially that!!!!
god, i need that orchestral remix like yesterday, its already bad enough we have to wait till christmas for SXSG soundtrack! GIVE IT UP ALREADY
best jim carrey scene was the doomed yaoi speech, oh my god
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HEARD "I AM THE EGGMAN" ON HIS PHONE AND SCREAMED, TOO
losing it at how they literally assigned shadow to hangout with stone and he was just like "ok" and they watched tv together lol
Stone was fucking awesome when he actually had scenes to himself holy fuck Lee get that bag!!
REVENGE GUAC!!!!!!!!!!!!
putting my tinfoil hat on and claiming the novela scenes and guac bit as an acknowledgment of Shadow's loyalty to the latinas, as a latina myself this is within my power
as a whole, bits like the novela and team knuckles are soooo much stronger and natural than the mandatory dance scenes and branding shoutouts, god i hope that sticks in whatever comes next!!
i understand no one liked the wedding scene in 2 but i LOVED it and was kinda sad that special agent derek morgan was just a disguise here but the way they used him was great, so i guess i'm just glad they kept him around
director rockwell just kinda? came outta nowhere and then disappeared to nowhere?? oh well her character was just kinda filler huh. and here i had a crackpot theory that she was rouge in disguise lmao
am i stupid or have we NEVER gotten a super sonic vs super shadow before?? i cant remember every detail of things like sonic x, but of mainline stuff??? they mightve given us a first?!
MAKING THE POSE™️ SUPER WAS A+++ THO GOOD FUCKIN JOB
Keanu was sooooo good god i cannot wait until modders just splice his lines from here into the dlc and then it'll be perfect
i am realizing now that i love how they leaned more into Shadow's POV esp in Sonic becoming angrier and driven and just like him (almost like goddamn SCOURGE of all things), but it works very well and makes this feel more like a different kind of SA2 rather than SA2: the Movie, if that makes sense lol
i can't wait until they get halfway thru the next movie, walk into one of Stone's bustling new chain of coffee shops, and Shadow is just there chillin
soundtrack as a whole was SO strong! lot more familiar melodies and in total everything felt suited to the tone. the eggmen dance scene had a good song choice, even if i didnt like the scene itself lol
Maria had her own little theme and thinking about now is just gonna make me cry oh god
feels weird to realize now but i think they only called shadow the ultimate lifeform ONCE, in total. ig it wasn't really important but it's more apparent compared to SXSG where they say it every 2 seconds
What are the fucking odds that the same day a new Superman is revealed, Shadow is given a Superman origin?? COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT
am i done? will probably throw more up after my second watch lol look out
VAYA CON DIOS, SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG
SHE'S READY FOR 2027
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ok i know i didnt throw silver today here on tumblr but frankly i have been super busy, and now that i'm free, i'm totally exhausted. i'm gonna have to take a rain check on throwing him today, but rest assured that i DID throw him irl. and i'm holding him right now. so he's getting the love he deserves, i promise :)
i just hosted a 7 hour Bumblekast Server Movie Night since there was no recording today. it went so well!!! we watched Interstellar and The Martian, two of my all-time favorite films. i talked so much with so many people that now my throat hurts and i am absolutely exhausted... but oh my god, we had so much fun. i got to connect with a ton of friends in the server whose voices i'd never heard before. i got to infodump about my special interests to people who genuinely cared to hear what i had to say. we got to crack jokes and have fun during breaks. the very first ever Bumblekast Server Movie Night was, overall, a huge success!
in fact, it was such a successful event that i am going to have to host a second screening of Interstellar! like eight people really wanted to join us and see it, but couldn't due to their schedules. i've promised them that i'll ping them when i start planning the next screening so that way we can make sure everyone is able to participate. and Interstellar is one of those movies i will happily watch several times a week so it all works out.
everyone seemed to love the movies, and they even seemed to appreciate the fact that i had behind-the-scenes trivia and facts about the science in the movies. one of my huge worries is that people i watch movies with get annoyed when i share things like that, but if anything, folks seemed to appreciate the movies more because of it.
man, i know i keep saying it, but i really do love the Bumblekast community so much. i have never felt so at ease with so many people. i've never felt like a burden or an annoyance there... like, i truly think it's where i belong. everyone is so caring and supportive, especially the mod team and Kyle. hell, Kyle even set up an event in the server for me so that we could spread the word to people! it was such a kind gesture.
that place truly is something so special. i've been there since September 15, 2023, and i can count on one hand how many genuine fights and bigoted statements i've seen. the mod team is so exceptional at maintaining a positive and friendly atmosphere there. it helps that they nip heated conversations in the bud before they can become arguments. they're also very easy to talk to —they're all so incredibly funny and approachable. they're constantly interacting with the community, too. and they're also really willing to work with people.
for example, occasionally i've broken rules by accident or flown too close to the sun with a joke and they've had to DM me about it. and they know that i have severe anxiety, so when they broach these subjects with me, they know to say right off the bat, "hey, you're not in trouble or anything and we aren't mad, we just need to talk to you about something." it's a little thing, but it seriously means so much to me. the fact that they keep my struggles in mind when doing their jobs is proof to me that they care about the community they support.
a lot of discord servers have mods who are very... distant with their communities. like, they don't participate in conversation amongst members, or they take jokes way too seriously, or they throw their weight around just to intimidate users into submission. those discord server mods just don't bother interacting with their communities, either because they're too busy, or they're not interested in what their members are doing, or in the worst cases, they think they're better than everyone else. i've encountered a lot of these people before and they're always so unpleasant. it just highlights to me how unique the Bumbleserver is.
i'm so fucking glad i got into Sonic, man. if i hadn't watched the game grumps play Frontiers, i never would have picked up the comics. i never would have known how much fun they are. i never would have started listening to the Bumblekast. i never would have decided to create the clips blog. i never would've been reached out to by Puppy Bumblekast, who i now consider one of my closest friends. and of course, i never would have claimed Silver as my son, which lead to Seán reaching out to me. i never would have fallen so thoroughly in love with him, either. 💖
ok that was a WAY longer post than i meant it to be . im really really tired so im gonna go to bed. goodnight everybody
goodnight my friends!
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KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE PROMPTS * assorted dialogue from the 2017 film
now go off and save the world.
this is not the end.
i made you these.
you have thirty seconds before they reach your position.
it's all right. don't panic.
that's all i'm gonna tell you, because that's all you need to know.
give me the code!
you've got three seconds to tell the truth.
why are you still wearing that?
i could say the same thing about you!
how the fuck is screwing someone gonna save the world?
how important is that dinner?
you've got to be fucking kidding.
i need you.
how do you do? have we met before?
would you like to hold him?
then you're no use to me.
you are the person i wanna spend the rest of my life with.
i hate to seem rude, but i need to finish packing and get some sleep.
i was looking forward to finishing him off.
i think there must be some mistake.
i hope you're hungry.
i'm gonna get the blame now.
when i was shot, can you guess what the last thing was that flashed through my mind?
it's a bit complicated, but trust me, i would not be doing it if i didn't have to.
if you really love me, just one little kiss.
been waiting all night for you to at least kiss me.
i just thought maybe we could practice? for tonight.
let me teach you a lesson.
why are you telling me about your shoes?
come snuggle with me. i like you.
are you quite mad?
i want to be with you.
don't move. you move, we die.
you're so smart. you should work for me.
you really expect me to take that seriously?
police are right behind you.
loosen up. we saved the world.
it is quite the opposite.
you're really not as i expected.
i'm sure you can last longer than that.
are we going to stand around here all day?
don't mention it.
this is very delicious.
i don't think i can.
yes, how could i forget?
what the hell happened?
what's your name?
what? what's the problem?
that's the first decent shit i've had in three weeks.
or we could just... fuck.
i know you didn't mean to make me feel like a dumbass.
shut up and sit down.
i beg your pardon!
i had a girlfriend.
i'll let you make it up to me by letting me buy you a drink.
you're late.
it's beautiful, isn't it?
take a look in the glove box.
shoot you? well, i will shoot you.
just know that having something to lose is what makes life worth living.
go away, old man.
well, actually, we had an invitation.
i do agree with the part where you go fuck yourself.
we're under attack.
i had no ties. no bittersweet memories.
get down on your knees and tell me who you really work for.
what do you see?
just thought i'd bring you a little leaving present.
this is where we split up.
you were really gonna do it?
wow. this is amazing.
is this a rescue attempt?
i don't like easy. i like proof.
you signal when we're in position.
you all right? what was that phone call you got?
how do i look?
who the fuck are you?
thought everything was supposed to be bigger in america.
it's been an honor.
never experienced companionship, never been in love.
let me translate that for you.
if you save the world, you know what that means.
it seemed silly not to take advantage of the confusion.
how about a martini for old time's sake?
you mind if i share your cab?
what the fuck have you done?
do as you're told.
get out of my room! get out!
it's a lasso.
it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
what's wrong with me?
is that any way to welcome a visitor from out of town?
isn't that supposed to be saturday?
you're lying. look at your hands.
that is true love right there.
i owe you everything.
there's no time for emotion.
you ready?
i have an antidote.
what have you done to me, you fucking bitch?
are you sure i don't look like a dick?
it'll take time to get your coordination back.
it's proof that my plan is going to work.
i thought you fixed me.
remember your training or we all die.
look in the mirror.
there's got to be another way.
suck my southern dick, bitch.
you'll be back to normal soon.
don't worry, i can fix it.
not a doubt in my mind.
our journey began with a mistake i made.
here's a couple of welcome back gifts.
i don't think that'll be necessary.
it doesn't have to be this way.
well, what are you ladies waiting for?
do you know what that means?
you two need to get going.
you're right. mission comes first.
i'm gonna go get changed.
#rp starters#rp memes#rp prompt#rp meme#rp musings#roleplay memes#roleplay prompt#roleplay meme#ask memes#askbox meme#rp asks#ask meme#inbox prompts#inbox prompt#rp inbox meme#sentence starter#sentence starter prompt#sentence starters#inbox meme#kingsman#kingsman: the golden circle#mcflymemes#movies
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YOU GET IT
I get so pissed and annoyed with this fandom drawing art of Bo hating Vincent and being cruel as adults! Could I see Bo resentful or cruel at a young age towards his twin? Yeah, of course! But for near 20 years all they have is each other in a damn near toxic co dependent unhealthy way because of their shitty parents
BO WAS BLEEDING EVERYWHERE AND VOMITING IN THE SINK WITH AN ARROW IN HIM AND TWO VICTIMS ESCAPED ON THE RUN AND COULD ESCAPE FOR GOOD FOR ALL THEY KNEW AND VINCENT AS HEAD STRONG AS HIS TWIN WENT LOOKING FOR VICTIMS ALONE WHEN BO NEEDED HIM AS A TEAM
I'd be fucking pissed too!!!
And Bo STILL in that moment felt guilty for calling his brother a freak just to hurt him and tried complimenting and reassuring him.
Trust me, I am not good with forgiving ppl that can't apologize bc I personally suck up my pride and do it if I care but then again Bo goes out of his way to talk to Vince right away when my sister would've called me every name in the book, we would've argued and left without a word
And this man that suffered so much trauma and so much hate at such a young age STILL has a soft spot for his twin and STILL tries in his own fucked up way right away to make amends for snapping at him
I'm sorry, yes, Bo is shitty. He's a rapist, sadist, murderer, toxic, manipulative, controlling.
But I physically cannot see fanart of Bo abusing Vincent cruelly bc idc he would never. Istg ppl just saw Bo be mean to his brother in a shitty situation and since he didn't apologize (He tried in his way) then he must be abusive to Vince too! If anything they both resent each other yet if one dies the other might as well die too
No hate to the author who will be unnamed (I don't remember their name anyways 😅) but there was one fanfic of Bo beating his 'wife' reader because another man said hi to her and he does this regularly then ties her up when they got KIDS and I cannot see it. Not for a guy saying hi that was gonna get killed anyways. Could I see Bo 'taking what's his' to mark reader sexually? Sadly yeah his boundaries with women are non existent but a WIFE? He would have to be insane with jealousy and idc I can't see someone finally loving him and putting him first over his twin for the first time ever being his punching bag. A captive reader that develops stockholm syndrome and disobeys? Yeah probably bc he doesn't 'love' them. But a wife with kids???? Uh uh. That man would seperate his domestic life and violence as much as he could just my opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own renditions and dark material but I feel the fandom makes Bo way more hateful than he is
Carly was a woman he instantly looked at as prey and was a victim he knew was dying so if he had to have fun cutting off a finger or SA her in the basement then in his warped mind why not? That imo is ttly different than his brothers or fictional kids or S/o IM JUST SAYING!!
(Sorry for the rambling I have a hard time finding others that see Bo is more than the unreliable narrorator Carly is in the film that is done so subtly and Bo IS a pos that's its easy to overlook)
Also Vincent is shown to be strong and he kills more than Bo does in the movie, he could stand up for himself but he doesn’t, because Bo isn’t abusing him, not to mention him holding Bo’s dead beaten body and cry yelling to the best of his ability, they clearly care about each other.
I feel like people see that one scene and the opening and assume Bo is angry and abusive all the time (also people can write him however they want but I feel like I see a lot of people boiling his character down to just being angry and violent and mean) and he had behavior problems as a kid but just because he did and is mean in one scene doesn’t mean that’s just how he is, people change as they get older, I had anger issues as a kid (I now realize it was probably related to my ADHD I didn’t know I had back then) I acted out when I got mad, I was violent sometimes, now as an adult I don’t act out anymore, I don’t even get as angry, there’s no reason Bo couldn’t have changed or learned to cope as he got older, even with all the shitty toxic shit as a kid, once he was older he could have worked on it himself, we don’t know but like people just assume oh he was an angry kid with behavioral issues and he yelled at Vince as an adult and don’t take in any other context from the scene and decide he’s angry and has anger issues and that’s his entire character.
Also I agree he wouldn’t treat a wife like that, man was not given love as a kid he wouldn’t risk the person who actually loves him, plus we see he clearly cares about Vince, when he tells him ‘Ma would be proud’ he’d be the same way if he fell in love with someone I think, he’d try his best to make up when he did fuck up, he’d show he cares
Is Bo a bad person, yes he very much is, he does horrible things including heavily implied SA, and he has no problem murdering people, but he’s not rotten to the core with no redeeming anything who’s only bad with no good
No one take this as you’re wrong or bad for your interpretation of Bo, if someone wants to write him like that go ahead, you do you, it’s your writing and you should do what you want, I just wish more people looked deeper into Bo’s character and thought more critically instead of just accepting Carly, a victim who only sees a small window of the Sinclair’s life and behavior, as the truth
Actually I think it was one of your posts I saw that made me see Bo this way, you were the one who converted me lol
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My Genderfluid Journey: Part 1 of ?
A periodic series of observations
As a 42-year-old AFAB with 2 grown kids and 3 ex-husbands, coming out as genderfluid seemed... daunting. At least, I thought it would be. Turns out that was the easy part for me. My 3 best friends (one of whom is my ex) had zero issues with it, as did my daughter, son, & mom. Haven't been brave enough to tell my dad yet. Announced it on FB, here on tumblr, and on Xitter. The reception has been wonderful; lots of support & congrats, even from people I don't know. It's been sublime.
I won't get into all the details surrounding my genderfluid realization; most of it is 1) too personal, 2) TMI, 3) NSFW, and 4) puts other peoples' business/inclinations on blast and that ain't mine to put out in the world. What I can say is that this is far from recent, not just a whim, and definitely not a phase. I've been... not so much battling with as confused/indecisive about my gender identity since I was a kid. When I was 8 or 9, I saw the film 'Ghost' and fell in love with Demi Moore's super short pixie cut. I asked my mom if I could get it, and she (shockingly) said yes. I thought it looked adorable (and it DID), but when I got to school... you guessed it: I got teased for looking like a boy. I never could figure out what was so wrong with that. But I grew my hair out afterward, not cutting it short again until I was in my 30's.
Things got even more confusing after high school when I started wishing I was male because I wanted to be like all the wonderful gay men I was meeting in WeHo in the early 2000's: confident, expressive, fun... they just looked so FREE. They could be super masc, super femme, & everything in between in a way I couldn't be. On the few occasions throughout my life that I've been brave enough to adopt a more masculine look, I've been told I look like a 90's lesbian. Hardly an insult, but a) inaccurate (I'm not), and b) not what I was going for. It was like, DAMNIT, can't I just BE a GUY for like, a few days? And go back & forth whenever I want to? Why is it that I'm "supposed" to shave my legs because of what's between them? Why am I expected to wear dresses & heels because I have hips? And why the FUCK do I get dirty looks when I wear a plaid shirt with a band tee & Docs? Is it because of the TIDDIES?! Fuckin ridiculous, man.
As I got older and the world became (blessedly!) more accepting of all gender identities/orientations, I learned that there was a term for what I'd been feeling since childhood. Scrolling through FB, then Pinterest, and eventually Insta & TikTok, seeing genderfluid & trans people adopting & embracing their identities fully & openly gave me a great deal of happiness for them and for the world, but also mad gender envy (a term I learned only in the last 2 years). It really hit me hard when I saw 'The Sandman' for the first time: the ineffably amazing Mason Alexander Park as Desire had me asking myself some serious questions. I spent the better part of a year trying to put together what it was I was feeling with the new things I'd learned about gender fluidity before coming out. Now that I have a more fully-formed idea of what that means for me, I'm ready to really be MYSELF.
I've created a new Pinterest board titled 'masc looks & tips,' got a dozen open tabs on my laptop of genderfluid TikTok accounts, and a whole list of "guy stuff" I want on my phone. The part that sucks is that my broke ass isn't able to buy the $50 binder that's been so highly recommended by many; shit, I can't even afford the boxer briefs I've been eyeing for months. I also got a super feminine body: thicc thighs, wide hips, tiddies that make sure everyone can see them... in other words, it's pretty hard to drown these curves under an ocean of fabric. And since I'm only 5 feet tall, oversized clothes will literally just drag on the ground, making me look more like a kid who stole her older brother's clothes than a male-presenting genderfluid adult person. Gah.
I know that the next step for me is to lean into the traditionally masculine presentation that I've been craving most of my life. There are a lot of ways to do this, but I know step one for me is to tame these tiddies. I've been told that Ace bandages are a bad idea for binding, but I've also heard that they're perfectly safe as long as you do it right. Guess I'll just have to find out for myself. Also, I'll be dyeing my brows in the near future; I overplucked them in the 90's (yet another stupid ass beauty standard for women) and now they refuse to grow back. I ain't got the steady hands needed to draw them bitches in, so dye it is. Finally, I've got a haircut lined up for 3 weeks from now. I'm planning to undercut about a third of my head (think Natalie Dormer in 'The Hunger Games') and keep the rest of my hard-fought grown-out hair in a wolf cut. Maybe this will help encourage me to work harder and save up for all that "guy stuff" I've been craving.
Until then, it's tits & hips & feminine lips, all drowning under an ocean of fabric. Sigh.
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