#this won't make a ton of sense unless you've seen the i don't feel well lore video but i think you get the jist

[madamemiz]

i request more kerfur and kel. it brings me nourishment.

same, have a comic

access denied/comforting presence

[lianasyappingsession]

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗜𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲.

˚ ༘♡Carl Grimes x reader

"there's only one thing more precious than our time and that's who we spend it on"

cw: teen angst, mention of canon-violence & death, reader is Negan's "kid", swearing, slightly angst inner monologue, etc. tropes:enemies to lovers, slow-burn, found family summary: you have been with the saviors for years, so how did one line-up, no, one boy, change the way you see this ruined world? a/n: the timeline of canon twd events is sorta out of order, it's been awhile since i watched s7 when daryl was held by negan so everything is completely by memory yet the point still stands. hopefully this makes sense. not proof-read.

You shouldn't be doing this. What you were doing went completely against everything you've been taught. Everything. It was early morning. Maybe around six or seven. You don't exactly know. The one thing you do know is that Negan won't be around for a few hours as he's got a ton of shit to handle. Even though it was early morning you had been up for hours thinking.

Thinking about your current life. Thinking about how those around you treat each other. So cruel. Thinking about the way Negan, your mentor, treats you. Thinking about those people at the most recent line-up a few weeks ago.

About how awful all the blood and sounds of muffled cries were. About how you sat there on the uncomfortable gravel road and did nothing but watch the way Negan treated them, the same as the other two groups. It was the same yet arguably worse than Hilltop or the Kingdom. At the time it happened it didn't really matter to you. "Typical fools who messed with the wrong people" You thought. You thought that because that's what you were believed to think. Everyone wants to believe that they're the good guy. We're not. Nobody really is. You remember glancing at the pale, long-haired teen and seeing how his un-intimidated look turned into the look of a scared teen. At that moment you realized that he was no different from you. You guys may have been on opposite sides but you were both on opposite sides of the same coin. You can't describe it, but seeing him in that vulnerable state for those few seconds did something to you. It's like reality just smacked the hell out of you. And then a few days later when Negan and the Saviors went to go claim their stuff you were face-to-face with that teen again. By then you had learned his name, Carl, he was the son of their leader. You could see the resemblance. Hell, you could see a whole lot more than just the family relation Carl had with Rick, you saw this young teenage boy as a person. Carl was a person. A human. He was a kid. Just. Like. Yourself. The feeling was insufferable. Seriously. It made you sick. Up until seeing Carl you hadn't seen another teenager your age. You felt as if you were alone in his cruel and unforgiving world. But you weren't. Not anymore. Sure, you two haven't spoken a single word to one another, (unless you count the time you explained to him what a "south-paw" was right before Negan almost made his own father cut his arm off), but you've watched how he interacted with his people. His family. Those were his people. The people he trusted the most.

And perhaps it was simply because you hadn't really seen how the Hilltop people lived, nor the Kingdom folks, but being exposed to this much genuine love made you feel... off. It made you feel weird. You hadn't seen people actually care for one another in years since your dad died. Your dad died towards the beginning of when the world went to shit. It was just you two, then your scared and small world became a little bigger once your dad met and started to work for Negan. Your dad died a few months in yet Negan kept you around. You were like, thirteen, so obviously he's not THAT cruel. He kept you under this wing, made sure you ate and got treated well. He was, in a weird way, your father. Eventually your world became even bigger once the small communities like Hilltop and the Kingdom got introduced. You thought this would be an opportunity for a bigger safe space, more faces, new people, new stories, etc. But it wasn't. It wasn't and after a few years of no social interaction with kids your own age it took a toll on you. Maybe it wouldn't have been so, so bad if Negan had been around more but he had "important" stuff to handle. He always did. You felt alone. This feeling of loneliness and the regret of hurting people was too much. You realized you didn't want people to fear you. Fear was not the way to get respect, respect had to be earned. Trust had to be earned. Relations were never going to form if you kept on like this. All of this is exactly why you are where you are currently. On the south side of the huge Sanctuary you quietly and quickly wandered the halls and searched for the holding cell. The cell that the man, Daryl, was currently held in. You had to ask one of Negan's "wives", Sherry, for some info. It took some time but Sherry had always been sweet to you so she eventually caved in. You eventually start to hear a faint sound of a somewhat familiar song, Easy Street, playing in this certain hallway. As you got closer so did the music. You eventually found the source of the sound, a small radio, sitting on the outside of a large metal door. You reached down and lowered the music a little in order to hear your own thoughts. Should I really do this? Maybe I shouldn't.. No, No, we're already here. Sherry already knows. I have to do this. I have to.

You slowly unlocked the door and pulled the chain off. You waited a few moments and glanced at the clock, 7:02. "Good. Right on time for the guards to be on the east side of the building." You think. Gosh, you hoped this worked. You slowly start to pull the heavy metal door open. It was pinch blackness in the small room. A little cold as well. Peeking inside you see the color of an orange shirt and pants in the corner. A man. Daryl. "Um... hi." You sound super unsure. Almost as if you stumbled into the wrong room. "Look, uh, you don't have a lot of time. You can go out the south side of the building, today's Thursday I think so the guards shouldn't be on this side. You should be able to leave.." You quickly explain.

He stares at you for a few moments then speaks quietly. "Yer his kid, huh?" You nod slowly. "Yeah, but uh, that's not important right now. You need to leave. And whoops, it's a shame someone forgot to lock this door.." I say nonchalantly. I leave the door cracked slightly and bend down to turn the music back up a little. Right before I do I glance at you, "Good luck, you're gonna need it."

Once you're sure the door won't close you back up and then quickly turn on your heel and book it down the hallway. The sound of the music covers up the sound of your loud leather books hitting the floor tiles. You actually did it. For real.

You didn't feel as terrified as you thought you would. No. You felt slightly proud..? Whatever this feeling was it felt good. You ran down the halls and eventually made it to a staircase. You stopped to catch your breath. You knew someone was going to get in trouble for your random act of kindness but you didn't care. Fuck it. Fuck it all. You were no longer a scared little kid. You knew right from wrong and everything the Saviors have been doing is wrong, so wrong. You were getting out of here. Today. Now. You were going to choose your own life. Be the person you wish to be. More importantly, you were going to see Carl again. See Carl and this time properly talk to him. Prove that you were nothing like your da- Negan. Nothing. You were a little nervous now that the adrenaline was slowing down but for the first time in years you felt a small sense of hope. You felt good. You finally got the courage to be your own person. You were your own person and you hope that maybe the people in Alexandria would understand that. You needed them too. Not just Carl but Rick, Michonne, Maggie, all of them. And you were going to prove it. If it was the last thing you do, that would be it. So, did you really uproot your life of safety and disobey your "people" in order to free some random guy? Yes. At least that's what you tried to convince yourself that was the reason. It was totally that and not because deep-down you secretly found the young teenage boy cute. Totally not. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

p.s: this is my first time writing something like this so hopefully it's good! may or may not make this isn't a multiple part series so yaaa idk

[deputy-buck]

Miscellaneous Tag game

Thank you for makin this and tagging me Mar!!! @ronald-speirs

-

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

I haven't been many places at all, and all of the places I enjoyed are neighboring states (Florida, SC, Tennessee, Alabama.) so it's almost the same as being home. I'll say Alabama, went to a cliff that my parents, aunt, and uncles used to climb and camp at all the time, idk what it's actually called but they always called it Sand Rock (take a guess what the rock is primarily made of...) it was entirely untouched when they used to go, but now there's fucking campsites and a huge pavilion there, I hate it bc the pictures my parents took made the place look so perfect and secluded, no trash anywhere. Now there's a fucking dumpster with shit leaking out of it and stupid "Beware! Cliff!" signs everywhere like no shit there's a cliff its a rock wall you idiots-

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

.... girl idk- I guess I'm proud of how regardless of the circumstances, I always stick to my morals and principles. Thanks for that one, dad.

Favorite books?

Oh!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!! hmm-

One Bullet Away - Nathaniel Fick. Probably my favorite of all time, it's so well and personally written, made me cry every time I read it.

Islands Of The Damned - R.V. Burgin. I love how simply he wrote it, like he really put his authentic self on those pages and didn't try to seem "more educated" than he was because he was just a little Texas boy and I loved that about him.

Those are really the only ones I can recall details from so I'll stick with those, but I did enjoy Helmet For My Pillow - Robert Leckie a lot, I read that in the truck while waiting for my brother to get out of class,. Generation Kill - Evan Wright was also good but it read so... grade-school-y, ya know?

My To Read list is:

With The Old Breed - Eugene Sledge. Started it but couldn't continue bc it seems like he's censoring himself a bit and IIIIIIII don't fuck with that, I'll power through it eventually though.

Red Platoon - Clinton Romesha. It's by a Medal Of Honor recipient from The Battle of Kamdesh, the only reason I haven't read it yet is bc i will sob about it for days after and I'm not ready for that.

My To Buy list is:

China Marine - Eugene Sledge. I WANT TO KNOW EVERY LITTLE DETAIL OF HIS TIME IN CHINA AFTER THE WAR-

(switching to non-war books oops)

Call Me By Your Name & Find Me - André Aciman. I just want to kill myself really, I want to hurt so bad that I never recover. Both are written in first person though and I hate that shit...

The Power Of The Dog - Thomas Savage. I watched the movie first and now I need to base my whole life off of these pieces of ART like fuckkkkkkkk.

Fellow Travelers - Thomas Mallon. Uhhhhhh yeah I want to submerge myself in this series entirely. Supposedly there's an ass ton of changes from in the series from the book, like Hawk being in the Army in the show and not the Navy like in the book, and I need to know if there are Seaman jokes-

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

Maizie 💚💚💚💚 my goofy goopy gooby girl 💚💚💚💚 my baby 💚💚💚💚 my sweet little bully girl 💚💚💚💚 the light of my life and the hindrance of my life-path 💚💚💚💚 the most stressful thing I've ever had to deal with day in and day out 💚💚💚💚

also cock. yeah that makes my heart happy too.

Favorite thing about your culture?

The MEN- okay I'll be serious. I'm not exactly sure what my culture is since Southern culture is Black culture (no I won't fight anyone on this unless you've been here, experience life here, and looked into literally any staple of Southern culture and seen that yeah 99% of it is rooted in Black history) and I'm.... Ghostly- I love the sense of community and the general easy-going but also absolutely chaotic feel you get everywhere you go. Like yeah I could get called "baby" and "sugar" and "honey" by the sweet old cashier, and then right when I walk out of the store I could suddenly be helping some stranger pack a deer with ice and have blood all over my hands and arms, the polarity of Southern-ness is great.

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

I want to say two and a half years ago, not really sure though- Band of Brothers was my first watched it back to back like four times, then Gen Kill and watched that one probably four times back to back as well, then The Pacific like two or three times back to back, and now I'm suffering through MOTA.

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

I have not. I don't really want to either bc I don't want to realize all the inaccuracies of the show vs the true events. Like the little things, I don't want to watch the show with distain-

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

Oh fuck you Mar, I can't choose!!

BoB: I cannot choose, I can't. I love so many of them way too much that it hurts. Loved whenever Johnny yelled "BULL!!" like yes bestie I would scream his name too-

GK: Poke <3 whenever he was on screen was my favorite. I think his "and all the love in their hearts, from their wives and children. And all that hate, dog. All the hate it took to blow these motherfuckers away. It's destiny, dog! White Man's gotta rule the world!" and that was the first time we saw Doc smile too, love that for them. Alternatively whenever he looks at Brad with his shark-like smile, I would FOLD if he looked at me that way.

TP: SID AND YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS MAR FUCK I LOVE THAT BOY SO MUCH I NEED HIM SO BAD. When he tore Gene a new one about why they were the ones that made it back and not all those other guys, like yes put your boy in line-

MOTA: *crickets*

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

HBOwar: Sort of? Not as of late but I have written a few fics and made a few moodboards, can find all of them in my masterlist. I'm sorta working on some TP stuff but it's so hard for me to write for that while FT is consuming my every waking thought.

Fellow Travelers: HAHHAH I CAN'T STOP- Oh I've already made so many little webweaves and edits and a moodboard, and rn I'm working on a puppyplay fic hahah

UFC: I don't make content though I kinda wish I had when I was super-super into the fighters on a personally level lmao

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

I don't have one, like there's not a specific actor/actress I've watched shitty film for. I usually enjoy Mads Mikkelsen in whatever he does, Jabob Pitts is also lovely, Anne Hathaway is my If I Was Straight actress

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

"Give what you get and don't complain when you get what you give."

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

Mm, I don't know, I'm always cold and I hate it and will never willingly live any further north than where I currently live, also no further west than Louisiana cause fuck Texas on a personal level

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

I don't know what a beta reader is please explain SOMEONE-

Three things that make you smile?

Actually being on a job site regardless of how anxious it makes me, I've spent way too long doing what I do from home and not being a part of the installation process.

Hearing other people laugh, idk why but hearing anyone laugh makes me smile.

These pictures of my goofy goopy gooby girl

Any nicknames you like?

Buck is a nickname and I love it cause it's so fucking HICK like ME

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

@ronald-speirs !! even though like none of your posts from any of your blogs are showing up on my dash?? hate you tumblr-

@ableedingpen !! BRO I WANT TO KISS YOU YOU ARE SO FUCKING AWESOME TO SEE IN MY REPLIES LIKE I GET STUPIDLY EXCITED-

@corkyviolet !! your screencaps are so fucking good and I cry at all of your edits-

@verawhisk !! we don't post the same content anymore but I do still love to see you around, V you are the GOAT

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

Shoot myself. No joke, I don't want to deal with that.

Favorite movie?

uhhhhhhhhh, All Of Us Strangers ripped my heart out, not sure if it's my favorite though

Do you like horror movies?

No (sorry Mar) they never appealed to me, I prefer a documentary about real fucked up and gorey events-

Tagging: anyone!!! have fun y'all!!!