#this will probably post a thousand times but idc

[jaysbaefie]

bullshit | sjy

synopsis: in which months of mocking jake online comes back to bite you, and he makes sure you regret every single word—on your knees.

genre: idol au

pairing: idol!jake x blogger!reader

warnings: dubcon? bratty!reader, petty!jake, mean!jake, big dick!jake, kidnapping (sort of kind of??), oral (m.rec), cum swallowing, reader grinds down on jake’s shoe, mention of daddy kink (but it’s not used), forced submission, manhandling, titty sucking, marking, begging, degrading. self degradation, rough and unprotected p in v, orgasm denial, overstimulation, light spanking slapping and chocking, creampie, spitting, recording for blackmail purposes,

wc: 15.1k

a/n: this took a lot more time that i initially thought it would … but it’s here now! this draft has been sitting in my archives for years like literal years. back when i used to write on wattpad for bts i had this plot written for tae but scrapped it because i lacked creativity to make it happen. but here we r ! also side note this is not edited to the best of its abilities so if u c a mistake… im sorry :D hope you enjoy, notes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated. enjoy :)

✎﹏﹏

the dorm door slammed open, the sound of sneakers dragging across the floor echoing behind it. the 7 exhausted boys spilled into the living room, all drained and sweaty from the insane dance practice that had run two hours longer than scheduled. jake collapsed face-first onto the couch, groaning into a throw pillow as he stretches his limbs before he feels a cramp in his leg.

"i think my spine is permanently bent," he mumbled, not moving an inch.

sunghoon flopped onto the floor, using his hoodie as a pillow. "i think i disassociated during 'bite me.'"

"you always disassociate during 'bite me,'" heeseung shot back, tossing a towel at him making sunghoon scowl.

jay, meanwhile, had his phone out, thumb lazily scrolling through twitter as he half-listened to the chaos around him. he was about to put his phone down when a thread caught his eye.

"kpop idols who probably have the smallest dick (a very unserious thread)"

"...oh?" jay blinked, intrigued for all the wrong reasons. a grin formed on his lips as he clicked, the list started off wild.

1. jaehyun nct - idc what y'all say. he screams below average. 2. jeno nct - this is a hater post. cry about it. 3. jake from enhypen - golden retriever energy but gives micro vibes. sorry not sorry.

jay let out a loud, sudden laugh at the description given for jake—catching everyone's attention.

"yo, jake," he wheezed, turning the screen toward him. "look what someone said about you."

jake rolled over lazily, half hazy, "what?"

jay shoved the phone in front of his face. jake read the tweet once, then again. then a third time. his brows furrowed deeper with each pass, almost as if he couldn't believe what he was reading.

"...are you serious right now?"

he sat up, yanking the phone from jay's hand to read it himself. his eyes scanned the username, the post and then the likes. 10k likes for a bullshit post, jake scoffed in disbelief. he scrolled down to read the replies which were full of people either agreeing or arguing like their lives depended on it.

"no because she's right and she should say it louder" one of the comments read, jake furrowed his eyebrows before scowling.

"i love him but... yeah."

"nah he gives big dick energy actually"

"this is so mean LMFAOOO"

jake's mouth opened in shock. "why am i even on this list? what did i do to deserve this? how does someone look at me and go, 'yeah, micro dick.' what the hell?"

jay couldn't stop laughing. "it's so random, too. like. where did they get the data? did they run a poll?"

"this isn't funny!" jake snapped, slapping jay's shoulder with the back of his hand. "i'm being slandered in front of thousands of people. tens of thousands!"

sunoo peeked over jay's shoulder. "ooh. and someone made a follow-up post. wait—found their tumblr. they said he looks like he apologizes after missionary.'" sunoo cackles, "i can totally see that."

jake nearly choked on air, "what?!"

he snatched sunoo's phone this time, heart pounding as he scrolls violently across your twitter page. he followed the breadcrumb trail from twitter to a tumblr blog: @s0ftbrat666.

the header was a blurry photo of a cunty hello kitty, and the bio just said: "unserious about everything but dick size."

"who the hell is this? why do they hate me so bad?"

niki, who had been quietly sipping water from the kitchen, muttered, "maybe they're a fan of yours. like, weirdly obsessed. reverse psychology or something."

"no. this is personal. this feels targeted," jake muttered, already downloading and opening the tumblr app on his phone. "i'm not letting this slide."

he made a new account. he picked the most ironic, absurd username he could think of: @goldenjake420.

because that screams, 'i'm the real jake sim!!'

he messaged you immediately, his hands shaking in rage as he smashes his fingers into the screen.

@goldenjake420: hey just saw your post about me having a micro dick on twitter. not sure why you said that but i can assure you that it's not true kinda rude ngl maybe take it down?

"this is so stupid," he muttered, tossing his phone beside him.

jay raised a brow. "you really just dm'd a twitter troll on tumblr?"

"yes. because the truth matters, jay. i do not have a micro dick!" he exclaims, clearly frustrated from his group mates lack of empathy. he looks around the room in hopes of his members reassurance, only to receive looks of disturbance.

"cmon guys, you know i don't have a micro dick.." he trails off when he sees sunoo grimace at his words.

heeseung smirked from the other side of the couch suddenly sitting up right, ignoring his aching body. "you should send a pic to prove it."

jay cackles before agreeing, "yeah, downwards angles always make that shit look like a tower."

"SHUT UP!" jake shouted, face red in a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

the room erupted in laughter as jake sat there fuming, arms crossed, waiting for a response. he had no idea the person he messaged was already rolling their eyes and preparing to block him.

and this was only the beginning.

you were no stranger to the occasional deranged and delusional fan losing their mind over a post. it was social media, not a diplomatic summit. if you said someone's fave had bad fashion sense or gave off weak dick energy, it was bound to stir drama—but you thrived in it.

what you didn't expect, though, was to get a dm from an account called @goldenjake420 claiming to be jake himself. not just a fan defending him. not someone crying in your inbox about how you were "too mean."

no. this person had committed to the bit.

@goldenjake420: hey just saw your post about me having a micro dick on twitter. not sure why you said that but i can assure you that it's not true kinda rude ngl maybe take it down?

you blinked at the message, snorted, and sat back in your chair.

"okay..." you muttered under your breath. "we've reached new levels of delusion."

you clicked the profile. no posts. followed no one. default layout. pfp of a blurry golden retriever. and the username?

goldenjake420.

"oh my god," you wheezed. this was peak fandom brainrot.

you stared at the message for a minute, thumbs hovering over your keyboard before you decided, you know what? fine. you wanna play jake sim? let's play.

you typed:

@s0ftbrat666: omg jake??? THE jake sim??? i am so sorry... i didn't know you had a tumblr account i feel so bad now omg i'll take it down right away thank you for being so mature and respectful about it... ugh i feel terrible lol

you hit send. then burst out laughing, eyes watering as you cackle alone in your room.

and five minutes later, you posted a new post on your blog.

—— post by @s0ftbrat666

just got a dm from someone PRETENDING to be jake sim because they were mad i said he has a micro dick LMAOOO. like babes be serious... jake sim is not on tumblr dot com messaging me with a blurry pic of a golden retriever and the username @/goldenjake420. but since he's here reading my posts, hey jake! if u're mad now wait til u see what i post next

anyway updated my list: "kpop idols who give off submissive missionary micro dick energy: extended version" jake is now first on the list. i've added footnotes and gifs as evidence. enjoy :] ——

you tagged it: #jake sim #enhypen #pls don't take this seriously #except jake if ur reading this then yeah take it seriously

you sat back and refreshed the notes every few seconds. it was already blowing up. likes, reblogs, someone screaming in the tags: "NOT THE FOOTNOTES."

you were thriving, satisfaction filling you as the comments seemed to hype you up.

unbeknownst to you, somewhere in a dorm across the city, jake was screaming into a pillow.

jake was laying on his stomach, face shoved into a couch cushion, aggressively refreshing your tumblr page like a man on a mission. the first message he sent you hadn't gone exactly how he expected. he thought maybe—maybe—you'd feel a little guilty, take the post down, maybe even apologize. instead, he was met with:

"omg jake??? THE jake sim??? i am so sorry..."

at first, he blinked. then smiled. you were going to apologize and take it down..great!

okay, he thought, that was easier than expected.

but then he saw the post you had published just a few minute later.

—— "kpop idols who give off submissive missionary micro dick energy: extended version." jake is now first on the list. i've added footnotes. and gifs. enjoy :] ——

"NO I AM NOT," he yelled into the pillow, voice muffled but full of sheer disbelief.

he rolled over and shot upright, shoving his phone in jay's face. "do you SEE this? i was already called micro dick jake, but now i'm a submissive pillow princess? where is she even getting this from?"

jay looked over the post with a calm expression and said, "well... you did say 'ngl' in a tumblr dm. that's kinda submissive."

"jay."

"i'm just saying."

jake's blood pressure was actively rising. he was pacing the living room now, phone clenched in his fist. "this isn't a joke anymore. she's making footnotes. gifs, bro. there's like a whole academic paper on my dick energy. and worst of all, PEOPLE ARE AGREEING."

sunoo peeked around the corner. "maybe just let it go? like... it's tumblr. no one's gonna remember next week."

"it's twitter too! no. no, she wanted to make it personal. it's personal now."

he went back to tumblr, typing furiously in your dm's.

@goldenjake420: okay first of all?? i was acc being really nice u said some really rude stuff and i still tried to talk to u calmly but now ur doubling down with footnotes?? idk y ur so convinced i'm a submissive pillow princess but ur wrong like so wrong scientifically inaccurate levels of wrong

he hit send. then stared at the screen.

nothing. no response. refresh. refresh.

"error: message could not be delivered."

"...what?" jake frowned, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion as he desperately tried sending his messages again.

he clicked your profile.

"you've been blocked by this user."

the silence that followed was deafening.

"she blocked me," he whispered, staring at his phone like it had personally betrayed him. "she actually blocked me."

jay cackled from across the room. "maybe now you'll stop fighting the tumblr girl who thinks you're a bottom."

"i'm not a bottom!" jake snapped, defensive. "and i'm definitely not a pillow princess!"

jay peers over jake's shoulder, his face pulls into a grimace as he reads jake's messages. "maybe it's a good thing that those didn't deliver... you're proving her point." jake rolls his eyes in response, not wanting to deal with his friend.

he opened twitter, then paused. was he really about to tweet about this?

he closed the app.

instead, he opened his notes app and started typing:

"debunking tumblr slander: why i, jake sim, am not submissive nor do i have a micro dick."

this wasn't over.

if he had to write a dissertation, he would. he was reclaiming his name. one footnote at a time.

you were in bed, face smushed into your pillow, scrolling aimlessly when the tag notification came in. you were about to ignore it—probably another reblog of your cursed "submissive missionary micro dick energy" thread—but the caption caught your eye:

@s0ftbrat666 you need to see this LMAOOO he made a THREAD. a whole thread.

confused but curious, you tapped the post.

and there it was.

a full thread. by a tumblr user named @truthaboutjake, which already gave deranged energy, but it got better.

"debunking tumblr slander: why i, jake sim, am not submissive nor do i have a micro dick (a thread)."

you nearly dropped your phone, a giggle leaving you as you excitedly click on the thread.

the first slide was formatted like a presentation. bolded title, bullet points, and an unnecessary amount of spacing like someone had spent way too long formatting it.

—— slide 1: addressing the accusations • the tumblr user @s0ftbrat666 has made multiple posts claiming i am submissive • she has also accused me of having a micro dick • both of these are false, offensive, and based on no real evidence ——

no real evidence, he said. like you were in court.

"what in the deranged.." you muttered to yourself, re-reading the text a second time to make sure you were hallucinating.

you snorted, swiping to the next.

—— slide 2: rebuttal • i've been told i give off dominant energy • no one who owns a denim jacket collection that big can be submissive • as for the size... let's just say i've never received complaints ——

you had to pause there, hand over your mouth, wheezing. "denim jackets radiate peg me," you cackle to yourself.

this wasn't a thread written by a deranged fan. no, this was someone personally offended on a soul level. and the way it was written? the tone? the wording?

it was giving him. it was jake.

no one else would be this pressed.

you laughed so hard you had to sit up.

this man had been so insulted by your dumb, unserious thirst post that he created a whole alternate account, wrote a google-doc-tier thread, and was now trying to clear his name in the notes app format. you were obsessed.

you hit reblog.

—— @s0ftbrat666: i have never in my life witnessed a man fight for his dom rights this hard the denim jacket argument almost had me convinced ngl

jake sim if this is actually you: 1. calm down 2. you're literally proving my point 3. post the evidence since you're so confident ——

the comments came flooding in:

"NOT HIM MAKING A PRESENTATION" "'never received complaints' is CRAZY" "he could've just logged off but now he's in too deep" "@truthaboutjake is shaking"

you weren't done though. oh no.

you clicked the original post again and dm'd @truthaboutjake directly.

@s0ftbrat666: wow a thread? you really sat down and made a powerpoint about your dick this is the best thing that's happened to me all week but you still haven't proven anything so until i see hard (and i mean HARD) evidence you're staying in your submissive micro dick era i'll wait <33

you hit send with a shit-eating grin.

this was your roman empire now. you were going to be thinking about this thread forever.

jake stared at your message like it physically slapped him.

"so until i see hard (and i mean HARD) evidence you're staying in your submissive micro dick era"

his jaw dropped.

"e-evidence?!" he sputtered aloud, standing up in the middle of the dorm living room like he'd just been accused of murder.

jay, sitting across the room with earbuds in, pulled one out and glanced up. "what now?"

"she wants evidence."

jay blinked. "like...?"

jake gestured wildly at his phone. "like evidence evidence!"

jay raised both brows before grinning "...so what i said about the downward angle, i'm telling you jake that shit makes it look h—"

"NO!" jake practically yelled. "i'm not sending a picture of my dick to some random troll on tumblr!"

he fumed. typed. deleted. typed again. then, finally, sent:

@truthaboutjake: okay. listen. i'm not sending you a dick pic. i don't care how much you want "evidence" that's weird. this whole thing is weird. i'm literally just trying to correct a false narrative about myself

you saw the message and immediately rolled your eyes so hard you almost saw your brain. you were curled up on your couch, hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands, typing with vicious speed.

@s0ftbrat666: omg. are you serious right now?? NO ONE asked for actual dick pics. what the hell is wrong with you. you're literally so deep in this delusion you really think you're jake sim like?? be serious for once you are a grown man on tumblr dot com pretending to be an idol and defending your imaginary dick size this is next level behavior. you need to touch grass and maybe talk to a therapist jake sim would never you are EMBARRASSING yourself rn.

you hit send and sighed, rubbing your temples. it was funny at first but the more you interacted with this person the more brain cells you lost, it shocked you that people would go to such lengths to defend their favs.

this was beyond fandom drama now. this was a case study. and the worst part? you were kind of impressed with how committed he was to the bit. concerned of course, but impressed too.

like... he was spiraling. but passionately.

still. you weren't going to let up. because whoever this man was, he needed to be humbled.

you opened a new post draft and typed:

—— @s0ftbrat666: update: he dm'd me again and accused me of demanding dick pics because i said "evidence"

i rest my case. this is not jake sim. this is some 32-year-old man who unironically uses reddit and thinks being called "submissive" is a slur

log off, drink some water, and go outside before you get a nosebleed from rage

#jake sim #not the real one obviously #this is tumblr not onlyfans relax ——

✎﹏﹏

jake tried to move on.

he really did.

after the dick thread. after being labeled a submissive missionary pillow princess. after the fake fan accusations and being accused of roleplaying as himself—he made the conscious choice to stop checking your blog. he muted your username. closed tumblr for a solid 24 hours. he even turned off his notifs.

he was healing. growing. rebuilding his sanity.

until a member sent him a screenshot.

it was sunghoon.

of course it was sunghoon.

sunghoon: yo y tf she got sm time on her hands icl tho she funny asf

attached was a photo of your newest tumblr post.

jake opened it, eyes squinting. then he saw it.

—— @s0ftbrat666: watched enhypen's most recent stage and i just wanna know WHO chose those pants for jake like bffr. i can see his entire situation

the dick print? front and center. and it's not giving what he thinks it's giving

it's giving: he begged the stylist to let him wear those pants so he could prove me wrong and i'm here to tell you... babe... don't ever do that again.

i'm LAUGHING.

#enhypen #jake sim #pls don't wear tight pants if ur not ready for the scrutiny king #it's not looking good ——

jake froze.

his phone was literally vibrating with how hard he was gripping it.

"she's watching performances now?" he whispered to himself, horrified.

jay looked up from across the room, warily. "...oh god. again?"

"she's analyzing my crotch, jay. she made a post about my dick print."

jay blinked. "that's... new."

"and she said it's 'not giving'!" jake practically screamed, spinning his phone around to show him. "not giving what?! not giving big dick energy?!?!"

jay read it silently, lips twitching. "...it does kind of sound like she thinks you're trying to prove her wrong. which, to be fair, you kinda are." he pauses for a second, "but i thought she deemed you as a deranged fan, does she think that you're actually texting her?"

jake shrugs, "who knows what she's thinking, clearly way to much of this is the shit she posts. also i wasn't even thinking about her when i wore those pants!"

"you literally made a thread defending your dick size last week."

"NOT THE POINT."

jake felt like he was going to combust. it was like every time he clawed his way back to peace, you dropped another post from hell and dragged him back into the pit.

and this time?

this time you targeted his outfit. his styling choices. his crotch visibility. he couldn't even enjoy the stage anymore without wondering if you were out there in a hoodie, behind a screen, zooming in on freeze frames of his pants.

"this is psychological warfare," jake muttered.

sunghoon looked up from his phone, his face annoyed. he was tired of hearing about this, "just block her again."

jake clenched his jaw. "she'll post about it. she'll brag."

he scrolled back up, reading the caption again. and again. his fingers hovered over your username.

he didn't message you. not this time.

instead, he posted on his burner account:

—— @truthaboutjake: some people spend their lives spreading negativity online because they have nothing else going for them. if you spend your free time zooming in on people's bodies just to make fun of them, seek help.

also, the pants looked fire. ——

he hit post. and then, two minutes later he opened the group chat.

jayke: whoever styled me last week. never again. we're going back to loose pants. i'm not doing this with tumblr anymore

✎﹏﹏

jake tried to stay composed. he tried.

but every time he opened tumblr, there you were—lurking in his psyche like a demon with wi-fi.

at first it had been a few jabs, sprinkled here and there between your usual posts about other idols. someone's hair, another's dance move, one guy you kept thirsting over for his "evil smirk" and "long fingers." whatever. jake didn't care.

until suddenly—your entire blog became about him.

not in a cute, stan-like way.

no.

it was relentless.

"jake sim update: still looks like a man who apologizes during sex."

"new era, same micro dick energy."

"his pants looked like they were holding in a lie."

"i know he fumbles the aux every time. just look at him."

your followers ate it up. reblog after reblog. tags like "#he's just so bashable" and "#jake sim slander is self-care" filled the notes.

there were polls. there were graphics.

you made a tier list of idols based on who looked like they cried after sex, and jake was placed right at the top with the caption: "he looks like he'd say 'was that okay?' while tucking his soft dick back in his briefs."

jake was spiraling.

the worst part? you didn't even seem like a hater. you didn't hate him.

you just... targeted him like it was your job. your content was crafted with care. effort. borderline affection.

jay leaned over one afternoon while jake doomscrolled through another one of your polls—this one titled "which idol do you think would last the shortest in bed (no offense)", where jake was winning by 68%.

"you know," jay mused, "i think she actually likes you."

jake looked up, eyes wide with horror as he looks at jay disgusted. "what?"

jay shrugged. "she's obsessed. it's giving weirdly specific attention. enemies-to-lovers coded."

"jay. she made a gifset of my crotch."

"exactly."

jake nearly threw his phone across the room.

it wasn't just slander anymore—it was becoming personal. and the most infuriating part?

you were so sure. so smugly sure.

every post was laced with casual cruelty and the sharp confidence of someone who truly believed they knew him. his vibes. his music taste. his dick size. like you'd studied him and filed a damn report.

and the urge to prove you wrong? it was eating at him.

he'd see one of your posts and get this itch. this slow, simmering burn in his gut. like he had something to prove now. like he wanted to walk up to you and say—

"say that shit again. to my face."

he'd fantasized about it more than once.

cornering you at a fansign, maybe. or catching you backstage if he ever figured out who you were. you with that smug little expression, your arms crossed like you knew everything. and him, leaning in, low and sharp, and making damn sure you knew you were wrong about everything—especially that.

he wasn't even mad anymore. not just mad. he was determined.

this wasn't just tumblr slander. this was a challenge.

and jake sim? he didn't lose.

✎﹏﹏

jake laid in bed, phone hovering above his face, lit only by the blue glow of tumblr's godforsaken app. it was well past 2 a.m., and he'd already scrolled through your entire blog—again.

he told himself it was just to see if you'd posted anything new. which, of course, you had,

but really, he was spiraling.

another post. this one read:

—— @softbrat666: something about jake sim just screams whines when it doesn't slide in all the way like he'd pause mid-thrust to ask if you're okay because he came too fast

he'd definitely say 'but you just feel so good...' as an excuse ——

and the worst part?

jake read every single reply. studied them, even. like they held some kind of twisted insight into how you saw him. how you imagined him. you were building this whole persona of him in your mind and then broadcasting it to thousands of followers like it was gospel. and the most messed up part?

you had just enough accuracy to make it sting.

and yet—you remained anonymous.

faceless. untouchable.

he'd tried to find out who you were. he dug through old posts, clicked your tags, searched your url on twitter and insta.

all he found was:     •    you lived in seoul     •    you were 21     •    you drank too much iced americano     •    and you had audacity in excess

that was it. no selfies. no personal posts. no full name. you were just a sassy username and a collection of jake sim hate posts.

meanwhile, he was a public figure with his whole government face on blast while you dragged him through the mud constantly.

he hated how much he thought about what you looked like.

were you soft and bratty, like your tone suggested? did you smirk when you wrote those captions? were you the type to twirl your hair and say, "what? it's not that deep," while ruining a man's reputation?

he imagined you walking around seoul, laughing with your friends, ordering overpriced coffee with that smug, evil-little-gremlin energy.

he imagined running into you.

he'd play it cool at first—polite, casual, maybe even a little flirty.

watch you ramble. watch you squirm. and when he caught you slipping—maybe when you made some offhand comment about k-pop or tumblr—he'd hit you with it:

"so how's that blog going? still think i'm a submissive pillow princess with a micro dick?"

he rolled onto his side, fuming into his pillow. you lived in his head rent-free and you didn't even know what he looked like at night when he was losing sleep over your bullshit posts.

it was unfair.

you got to stay invisible while he was out here analyzing his own stage outfits to figure out what clip you were gonna slander next.

he scrolled back to that gif set you made of his recent performance. paused on the close-up. the zoom-in.

the goddamn caption: "not jake sim trying to start a dickprint redemption arc. spoiler: it's not working."

his eye twitched.

"this girl is the devil," he muttered.

and yet... he couldn't stop checking. he needed to know what you'd say next.

✎﹏﹏

you wake up to absolute chaos.

your phone is buzzing. not one or two notifications—hundreds. group chats. twitter and tumblr dms. unknown numbers. missed calls. it's like your phone caught fire overnight.

you blink against the morning light, groggy and confused, heart picking up speed. something's wrong. you can feel it. you squint at the screen, drag down your notifications, and the first notification you see makes your stomach drop.

"girl you're trending rn... what did you DO???"

then another.

"is that actually your name???"

your pulse is pounding before you even open twitter. your fingers shake as you type your own @ into the search bar, and the second you hit enter, your breath catches.

it's you.

your name. your photo. your phone number. everything.

someone—no, a group of people—had clearly gone full fbi. they'd taken all your casual, dumb little posts over the years and pieced them together like a fucked-up puzzle.

and now your full name was in a viral thread titled: "this the girl behind the jake sim micro dick blog?"

with a photo of you at a party two months ago, smile beaming.

people were quote-tweeting it with comments like: "she built like someone who'd have beef with jake sim for no reason." "oh she definitely owns a stan twitter burner too." "her blog is my roman empire i need her in therapy immediately."

your blood turned to ice. you were exposed.

fully.

not just as a shitposter but as the jake sim hater. your inbox was flooded—death threats, confessions, apologies, people asking if it was really you. tumblr dms screaming:

"TAKE THE POSTS DOWN BEFORE HE SEES THEM."

too late.

you scrambled to log into tumblr. your hands fumbled across the keys. it took three tries to get your password right.

the second you were in, you did the only thing you could do.

you hit deactivate.

the blog was gone. years of posts. thousands of notes. all of your followers, your drafts, your hate-poll templates.

deleted.

and then the panic really set in.

your hands were trembling. your ears were ringing. and all you could think about was @truthaboutjake, your mind racing. it was him, you realized that it was him.

"he knows. jake sim fucking knows who i am."

and the worst part?

you had no idea what he'd do with it.

✎﹏﹏

jake found out the same way everyone else did—waking up to a string of texts from jay and sunghoon absolutely losing their shit.

jay: bro. check twitter. sunghoon: she got exposed. jay: HER NAME IS OUT LMAOOO jay: bet she's sweating rn sunghoon: she's kinda cute tho

he blinked hard, still groggy, and tapped open the thread that seemed to be trending.

your face stared back at him.

his heart flipped.

you looked... nothing like what he expected. he'd imagined someone smug. cold. maybe with villain bangs and a cigarette habit.

but no—there you were, face flushed in a group photo, laughing mid-sip of iced americano. you looked normal. it almost hurt to admit, but you were pretty.

you looked real.

and now, you were reachable.

he did what anyone would do: searched your name on instagram. he found your linked facebook.

scrolled. scrolled.

paused.

you had your workplace tagged in an old comment.

"juniper bean café - seoul branch."

he stared at it for a long moment. then, very calmly, he stood up, threw on a hoodie, cap, and mask, and left the dorm.

✎﹏﹏

the café was a little tucked away spot with plants hanging from the ceiling and a chalkboard sign outside that said "kiss me, i'm caffeinated."

jake walked in, glancing around. he spotted you immediately, behind the counter, head down as you punched in an order.

he could tell that you had a rough morning, good. your posture was tense. your hair was pulled back messily. your voice was strained. you looked tired, your eyes that seemed so full of life in your leaked photos had disappeared.

he stepped up to the counter. waited. his eyes trailed down your figure, your frame was draped with a loose fitted sweater and some baggy light wash jeans. you wore a black apron, cinching at your waist—allowing his hungry eyes to capture your curves.

you were trying to look invisible. trying not to stand out. but to him—you were glowing with guilt.

he watched you fumble with a stack of napkins, pretending you didn't feel his eyes burning into you. finally you cleared your throat, still not looking up.

"hi, what can i get you?"

he smiled behind his mask, slow and wicked. he pulled it down just enough to speak—voice dripping low, sharp with mocking sweetness.

"you gonna spit in my drink too?" he asked. "or just keep running your mouth somewhere i can't see?"

you froze.

head snapping up. eyes locking with his. and there it was—that flash of horror, recognition, disbelief. it was him.

you had to admit, he was just as if not more handsome in person. your mouth dried up when you watched his lips curl into a smirk and his eye twitch.

your mouth opened. closed. no sound.

"hi," he said, almost sweetly. "miss me?"

you fumbled a reply—something, anything—but he leaned in, resting his elbows on the counter like he had all the time in the world.

"you disappeared fast. what happened? got leaked and lost all your guts or did you burn through all your micro dick material?"

your coworker looked between you both, utterly confused and in awe that jake was standing in front her. you took a breath. straightened your spine. tried to salvage your dignity.

"this is harassment," you muttered.

"this is karma," jake shot back, his smile dark. he twitched in anger, how dare you call this harassment—what about what you had been doing for the last couple of weeks? "i wanted a latte, by the way. no sugar. unless you're finally ready to be sweet to me."

you nearly dropped the milk jug.

he didn't care. he was so amused. you were the girl who wrote entire essays dragging his dickprint and his imagined bedroom habits? you, flushed and stammering behind a café register?

he wanted to laugh. he wanted to lean in closer. he wanted to ruin you back.

and this? this was just the beginning.

your hands were shaking. milk frother sputtering. heart pounding in your chest like it wanted to escape. and he—jake fucking sim—just stood there.

smiling.

smug.

head tilted slightly like he was thrilled by your discomfort. "you gonna make that latte, or you gonna keep fumbling around and glaring at me?" he drawled, voice low and casual.

you gritted your teeth, turned back to the machine, and fumbled through the motions of making the drink. you could feel his eyes on you the entire time—watching, drinking you in like you were the fucking joke.

you finally slid the drink across the counter, trying not to slam it.

"here. now leave."

he didn't move. just sipped slowly, then licked a bit of foam from his lip like it was the most dramatic thing anyone had ever done in a coffee shop.

and then—he leaned forward. elbow on the counter. voice quiet, words slow and deliberate:

"what time do you get off?"

you blinked, "excuse me?"

"your shift. when does it end?"

"why the fuck would i tell you that?"

his smile widened, all teeth now, sharp and smug. "because there's going to be a black car waiting for you outside." he continues, "when you clock out, you're going to get in. and then you're going to follow instructions."

you stared at him, genuinely floored. "are you insane? what the hell are you talking about?"

he tilted his head, mockingly sympathetic. "i get it. you're scared. probably embarrassed." he grins, "but see, that's the thing about defamation—once it's public, i can take legal action. and you've been very public."

your stomach dropped, "you're bluffing."

he shrugged. "wanna bet your savings account on that?"

you opened your mouth. closed it again. because—fuck. he wasn't bluffing. he didn't have to. you'd posted too much. said too much. and now he had your face, your name, your location.

"you can't just—kidnap me," you said, weaker than intended.

he laughed.

"it's not kidnapping if you get in willingly, sweetheart."

then he slid the latte off the counter, turned, and started to walk toward the door. before he left, he glanced back, over his shoulder.

"9 p.m., right?" he called out. "don't be late. i hate being stood up." he grinned, fuck him.

the bell jingled as he left. the door shut behind him.

and you stood there, in your apron and sneakers and sweaty palms, absolutely rattled. what the fuck did you just get yourself into?

✎﹏﹏

9:03 p.m.

you were pacing behind the café. your shift ended three minutes ago, but you hadn't stepped outside yet. you couldn't. your feet felt like bricks. your stomach twisted with anxiety, hands clenched in the pockets of your jeans.

what the fuck am i doing?

you shouldn't go. you know you shouldn't go. this was literally stranger danger 101, except instead of a stranger it was a kpop idol whose dick size you flamed online for weeks.

your brain was screaming at you. your nerves were a warzone. your inner monologue sounded like one long anxiety spiral:

"you're insane." "this is how people get murdered." "he's rich. he could make you disappear and blame it on anxiety meds." "but also... maybe he just wants to talk?" "or maybe he's gonna sue you in person with his scary legal team and laugh while you cry." "or—worse—what if he takes a picture with you and posts it with some shady ass caption like 'finally found her :)' and now you're really cooked?"

your fists clenched tighter.

this was your own fault. you were the one who made that blog. you were the one who said he looked like a pillow princess. you were the one who photoshopped a pacifier into that one fansite photo and captioned it "baby boy can't handle coochie."

and now?

now he knew your name. your face. your shift schedule.

and there it was, waiting on the curb like a horror movie prop—a sleek black car, windows tinted, headlights glowing like eyes.

you stared at it.

and then, finally, took a deep breath and walked towards it.

the back door opened before you could even touch it. you slid inside, hesitating, clutching your bag to your chest like a shield. you looked around the dimly lit interior. leather seats. no jake.

just a stone-faced driver in a black cap.

"um," you said cautiously. "where are we going?"

no response.

you leaned forward slightly. "hello? i just—can you at least tell me if jake is—"

silence.

he kept driving.

great.

you sat back, heart still racing. the lights of the city blurred past the windows. you couldn't even track the direction—you were too jittery to focus. every turn felt like it took you farther from safety.

and god, the silence was suffocating.

you hated it. you hated him.

jake sim and his smug face and his legal threats and the fact that this whole thing was so humiliating.

how the hell did he turn it around on you? curse those people who leaked you.

you were supposed to have the power. the upper hand. you were the one who had thousands of people laughing at his expense. you were the one whose posts got quoted like bible verses on stan twitter.

and now?

now you were alone, in his car, being driven to god knows where because he told you to.

you should've never fucking posted about his dick. you should've stayed anonymous. kept your mouth shut. deleted the pacifier post when it hit 10k notes.

the car slowed. you peeked out the window. it wasn't some mansion, like you feared. wasn't a dungeon either—at least you think so.

it was a private-looking building—modern, sleek, tucked down a quiet alley with a gated entrance. definitely expensive. definitely secluded.

you were dropped off at the curb. the driver didn't say anything—just nodded toward the front door.

you stepped out slowly, phone gripped tight in your hand, ready to fake an emergency call or scream if necessary.

a man, different from the driver, opened the front door. another silent guy in all black gestured for you to follow.

you hesitated, then followed him down a short hallway, up a narrow flight of stairs, until you reached a door with a single number carved into it: 17.

he knocked once, then opened it.

you stepped in—and stopped.

jake was inside.

he was leaning casually against a wall, dressed in all black—hoodie, chain, jeans, hair tousled, like he hadn't even tried and still looked like a good.

he was scrolling on his phone when you entered, then looked up.

and grinned, "hey." he stops, letting his gaze travel down your trembling form, "glad you could make it, hate blogger."

you wanted to punch him. you wanted to turn around and leave. but most of all—you wanted to know what the hell came next.

and by the look on his face?

he was very ready to show you.

room 17 is quiet. too quiet.

you stand near the door, gripping the strap of your bag like it's your last line of defense. jake hasn't moved from his place against the wall, but his eyes haven't left you for a second. he looks too calm. like this is just some casual meetup and not the most batshit confrontation of your entire life.

"you still haven't told me why i'm here," you say finally, voice tight, trying to sound unbothered even though your throat is dry.

he doesn't answer right away. he just studies you, eyes flicking from your clenched fists to your shifting posture to the tiny, almost-invisible tremble in your knees.

then he lets out a soft little chuckle, the kind that feels mean. smug and quiet and condescending.

"you really don't know?" he asks, stepping away from the wall at last. his strides are slow, deliberate, like he knows you won't run—but that you should.

you take a step back automatically, bumping into the door behind you.

"if this is about suing me," you mutter, chin lifting defensively, "you could've just emailed your legal team. this whole drama king act—" "i'm not suing you." he cuts you off, voice calm but sharp. he walks past you and locks the door with a soft click. your stomach flips.

"then what the hell is this?" he turns back to you, expression unreadable, "this is about correction."

you blink, "what?"

"you posted things that were... inaccurate." he steps closer. you press yourself further into the door. "about me. my body. my performance. my preferences." another step. you swear you stop breathing, "so now i'm giving you a chance to see the truth."

you stare up at him, wide-eyed, "you're joking."

"does it look like i'm joking?" he murmurs.

you're momentarily speechless. your brain is whirring, trying to process what's happening. jake sim—international idol, global heartthrob, the man you've memed within an inch of his digital life—has dragged you to a private room to debunk his dick size?

you should laugh, but you can't.

because he's standing too close. because he's looking at you like prey. because his voice is dipped in amusement but his eyes are furious.

"you're out of your mind," you whisper, eyes wide and your jaw slacked.

he shrugs, "maybe."

his hand lifts, knuckles brushing your chin—just enough to make your breath catch.

"but you made this personal. you dragged it out. you turned it into a running gag." he leans down slightly, until your noses are nearly brushing. "and now you're gonna watch what happens when you say shit you can't back up."

your throat works around a swallow. your persona starts to crack.

still—you can't not be a brat.

"so what, you're gonna just pull your dick out like some frat boy in a scandal?" you snort. "you're so mad over a joke, you're—"

"baby," his voice cuts you off again, soft but dangerous.

"a joke is calling me clingy or annoying. a joke is editing me into a pink onesie." he steps even closer, "but accusing me of being a submissive pillow princess with a dick that couldn't break a hymen?" he tilts his head, mocking, "that's slander."

you flush. deeply, "you saw that post?"

"i've seen every post," he says coolly. "and the reblogs. and the tags. and the memes."

you suddenly feel so small. not because he's taller—though he is—but because you'd spent months building this image of jake sim as a joke. a punchline. a target.

and now he's right here. and he's pissed.

"you're really that bothered?" you ask, but your voice is quieter now, unsure. "bothered?" he repeats, almost scoffing. "sweetheart, i was obsessed." his hand lifts again, brushes your hair away from your face, fingers dragging a little too slow behind your ear.

"you don't understand what it's like to be degraded by someone who's too cowardly to even show their face." he pauses, his eyes dropping to your lips, "but i'll show you."

you swallow hard. "so what?" you ask, trying not to waver. "you want me to apologize? to... take it all back? post a formal retraction about your dick?"

he grins. slow and sharp, "nah."

"i want you to see it," he pauses, lets the words sink in. "and then i want to see the look on your face when you realize you were dead fucking wrong."

your mouth opens. no sound comes out. your heart is pounding so fast you think you might throw up. because there's teasing and there's joking and there's flirting with danger—but this? this is crossing the line, and you don't know if you want him to stop.

you laugh, it comes out breathy and nervous and completely unconvincing. "okay," you say, holding your hands up a little, trying to cut the tension with sarcasm, "haha, very funny. you got me. you've officially scared the shit out of me, and if that was your goal, congratulations."

jake just stands there. watching you. expression unreadable, unreadable and dark. you shift on your feet, trying to find a way out of this, trying to reclaim some sense of control.

"look," you continue, "i'll take everything down, okay? every post. every meme. every stupid out-of-pocket caption." you swallow. "i'll issue an apology. hell, i'll write a thread. a whole google doc. whatever you want."

you inch away from the door, toward the side of the room, trying to put some space between you.

"i crossed a line. i get that now." you laugh again, weaker this time. "like—clearly."

jake still doesn't speak, he starts walking.

slow. silent. like a cat with its prey cornered.

your back hits the wall.

"i'll stop posting about you," you rush out, your heart beating frantically when you feel jake's breath fan against your cheek. "seriously. no more degrading content. no more jokes. you win, okay?" his palm hits the wall beside your head with a sharp thud.

you freeze.

he leans in.

"i don't want a fucking apology," he murmurs, voice thick and low, the sound of it making your legs weaken. you try to hold his gaze, but it's hard when he's this close. when you can smell his cologne—clean and warm, like cedar and skin. when you can see the heat in his eyes, the tension in his jaw.

"i want you to look at me," he says, "and admit you were wrong."

"i just did—" "no." his other hand comes up, fingers ghosting your chin, tilting it up. "not because you're scared. not because you think i'm gonna sue your ass. i want you to say it because you know."

you suck in a breath as his fingers graze your throat. not squeezing. not threatening. but claiming, staking a presence.

"you think i'm some submissive little pushover," he whispers, "who just lays there and takes it. soft. boring. harmless."

your heart pounds in your chest so loud you swear it echoes. "you think you own the narrative. that you get to decide who i am, what i'm like in bed, how big my fucking dick is."

you flinch at the way he says it, so vulgar and harsh it shoots straight to your core.

"but the second i show up—" his thumb brushes your bottom lip. "you're quiet. nervous. twitchy. like you already know you were talking out of your ass."

you suck in a shaky breath and try to bite back the heat that's crawling up your neck. "you're insane," you whisper, but there's no bite behind it.

his body is so close now, you can feel the heat radiating off him. he hasn't even touched you properly and you already feel like your knees are going to give.

"what do you want from me?" you ask, voice barely holding together. he leans down, lips brushing the shell of your ear.

"i want to fuck the lies out of your mouth." his voice is so low, it vibrates down your spine. "i want you to choke on everything you said about me and realize i was never the one being dominated."

you let out a small, shaky sound—and that's when he finally kisses you.

not soft.

not slow.

possessive. like he's claiming what he's owed.

like he's trying to shove every insult back down your throat, one filthy kiss at a time.

your mind blanks the second his mouth claims yours. his tongue pushes past your lips without hesitation, his hand gripping your jaw to keep you right where he wants you, and you feel it deep—too deep. like he's trying to crawl inside your ribcage and brand himself there.

his kiss isn't gentle. it's punishment. all teeth and tongue, your back shoved harder into the wall as he presses against you. his body completely, deliberately dominating yours.

"still think i'm soft?" he growls against your lips when he pulls back, breath ragged, thumb digging into the underside of your chin to keep you looking at him.

you don't answer. you can't.

your mouth is open, panting, lips wet and swollen from how violently he just kissed you. your knees barely hold.

his gaze drops to your mouth. then lower, and lower.

he smirks.

"you look scared," he says, tilting his head slightly. "thought you liked writing filthy shit about me. what happened to all that confidence?"

you swallow hard, still in absolute disbelief, "you're—you're actually insane."

"and you're actually still turned on." his hand drops to your hip, gripping hard, pulling you flush against him—and fuck. he's hard. painfully hard. pressing right against your lower stomach. and he knows you feel it.

your eyes widen. you try to squirm away but there's nowhere to go, your back hits the wall again and his thigh wedges between your legs.

"not so micro now, is it?" he breathes against your neck. you let out a broken sound—half gasp, half groan—and that's when jake loses it.

he grabs your wrists and pins them above your head with one hand, other hand sliding beneath your shirt, grazing skin and pulling a shocked noise out of you. he doesn't give you room to breathe.

"say it," he growls. "say you were wrong."

you shake your head. still stubborn. still you.

"no?" he scoffs. "fine." his thigh presses harder between your legs, rocking up once. your clit throbbed pathetically at the feeling, it was just enough friction to make your eyes roll back. you try to keep your composure, but he watches your face change—watches your pride falter.

"don't lie to me, baby." his voice drops lower—hungrier. "you're dripping. over the same guy you dragged for months."

you gasp, trying to turn your face away from him, but he leans in again, his nose brushing your cheek.

"you gonna blog about this too?" he whispers. "tell your little followers how jake sim manhandled you and made you eat your words with his cock halfway down your throat?"

you whimper and it disgusts you how fast your body betrays you. how wet you already are. how much you want him to ruin you just to prove you were wrong.

and he can tell.

he sees the shift in your expression. how your resistance is slowly, deliciously, falling apart.

your wrists are still pinned, your breathing uneven, chest rising and falling fast as jake leans in like he owns the air around you.

"i'm done hearing you talk," he mutters, dragging his mouth along your jaw. "i think it's time you showed me just how sorry you really are."

he releases your hands and steps back. you don't move. your legs are trembling, your pride hanging on by a thread.

"on your knees," he says simply.

you scoff, arms folding defensively across your chest, "you can't be serious—"

he tilts his head, "i'm not asking again."

there's no loud threat. no yelling. just the terrifying calm of someone who already knows he's won. you hold your ground—barely. but something about the way he looks down at you, already palming the bulge in his jeans, makes your body respond before your mind does.

you sink, slowly. knees hitting the floor like it's a confession. he watches you with quiet satisfaction, like he's waited for this exact moment.

he had been dreaming about the moment he would get you to himself, on your knees—right where he wanted you.

"look at me," he says, and you do—eyes meeting his as he unzips, the sound ridiculously loud in the silence.

he's already thick in his hand when he pulls it out, and your mouth goes dry. you don't want to admit it, but fuck. it's big. way bigger than you ever gave him credit for. your throat tightens at the sheer weight of it, thick and flushed and veined.

his smirk deepens when he sees the way your eyes drop.

"what was that again?" he mocks, giving himself a slow stroke. "micro?"

you glare up at him, heat crawling up your neck. "i was clearly misinformed."

"say it properly."

you hesitate, his free hand tangles in your hair—firm, but not painful. just enough to tilt your face up toward him.

"say. it."

you grit your teeth, "i was wrong."

"about what?"

you groan. "about your dick. okay? you don't have a micro dick."

he raises an eyebrow, "that all?"

"it's big," you mutter, cheeks burning. "you made your point." he laughs—low and satisfied—and guides your face closer, "not yet."

you gasp when you feel his tip touch your cheek, he grins at your expression—feeling satisfied with your shock. he does a few experimental taps, dragging his length over your lips. you hold in a whine when he smears his pre cum over your bottom lip, almost as if he was applying lipgloss on you.

and then he pushes in.

there's no easing into it—he gives you the thick weight of his cock all at once, making you choke. your hands scrambling to grip his thighs as he holds you there, watching with dark, satisfied eyes.

"look at that," he murmurs. "mouth so full of me you can't even talk shit now." you gag again, but his grip stays steady, fingers flexing against the back of your head as he rocks his hips in slow, controlled thrusts. just enough to make you feel how deep he is and prove how wrong you were.

he could feel how warm your mouth was around him, basking in the feeling of not only pleasure but the satisfaction of shutting you up.

"this what you wanted?" he groans. "to see what i've been hiding in those pants you loved to degrade?"

you can't respond. not when he's using your mouth like a cock sleeve, fucking every insult out of you with a punishing rhythm. spit drips from out of your mouth and onto your chin. tears prick at your eyes and yet—somewhere deep in your gut—you like it.

jake's grip on your hair gets stronger, the pain causing your jaw to slack as you continue to take his brutal pace. you could feel the head of his cock  rub against the back of your throat, the force not strong enough to make you gag but enough to cause a stream of tears to run down your face.

your nose touched his pelvis with every thrust, indicating how deep he was going. "fuck. look at you, __. who knew cock being in your mouth is the only way to shut you up."

you whine at his words, looking up at him with pleading eyes—yet you didn't know what exacting you were begging for. you rub your thighs together in hopes for some temporary relief, the scene so lewd that you could feel yourself gush in your panties—holding in the urge to let your hands wander down to touch yourself.

jake looked down at you with hungry eyes, his lip twitching as his grip in your hair grew tighter with each thrust. he let low moans slip from his mouth every time his dick grazed the back of your throat.

"aren't you a dirty little whore.." jake drawls out, his chest heaving with pleasure when he notices how tightly you have your thighs clenched. "getting all worked up for someone you've publicly shat on for having the least sex appeal."

you moaned around him when suddenly he pushed your thighs apart with his foot, wedging his sneaker between your legs—giving you something to ease up the tension in your core.

you mewl when he pushed against your clit, almost urging you to grind down against him while he used your mouth to his hearts content. slowly, but surely—you allowed yourself to ground yourself against him. it sickened you how desperate you had become in just a span of a few minutes.

jake almost cums when he sees you move your hips, desperate for any kind of friction to relieve you from your throbbing clit.

the familiar feeling in his stomach begins to tighten, his grip on you becoming unforgiving as he loses self control and allows himself to push himself into your mouth as much as he could. his tip hits the back of your throat repeatedly now, a mixture of his cum and your spit dribbling out of your mouth.

"f-fuck," he groans. "m'gonna cum.. you're gonna take it? yeah? take it in that bratty mouth, hm?" jake murmurs to what seems himself just before he combusts in your mouth. you swallowed a chocked moan when you feel his warm cum coat your mouth, gagging around him as he twitches.

jake felt as if he was on cloud 9, his head lulling to the side as he keeps your head planted where it is—ensuring that you swallow what he gave you fully.

when he finally pulls back, cock glistening with your spit and his cum, your jaw aches as you swallow the salty yet sweet taste of his release.  your chest heaving like you've just survived something.

"mouth open and tongue out," he demands. you hesitantly open your mouth, your tongue out as you show him that you swallowed everything.

you whine out desperately when he slides his foot away, leaving you aching again. jake tsk's, "desperate slut."

he crouches down to your level, thumb wiping the corner of your mouth.

"still think i'm a pillow princess?" his voice is a little breathless now. dark and smug. "or you finally ready to admit you don't know shit about me?"

your throat still burns. your lips are swollen, coated in spit and shame, and jake's leaning over you like he's just getting started.

"on your feet."

you hesitate, still panting, still dazed from the way he fucked your mouth like it was owed to him. but something in his voice—firm, expectant—makes you move. your knees tremble as you rise.

jake doesn't give you time to adjust. the second you're upright, he steps in close, hands on your waist, guiding you backward until your thighs hit the edge of the bed.

you're pressed back against the mattress, thighs parted under his hands, still catching your breath from how rough he'd just been with your mouth. but instead of backing down, you do what you do best—deflect.

"look—how about this," you say, voice shaking but holding onto some scrap of cocky defiance. "i'll just say the blog was satire. irony. you know, performance art or something. no one has to know i meant any of it."

jake's expression doesn't change.

"or better yet—i'll make a new post trashing someone else. redirect the attention. easy." you flash a grin that's all teeth. "maybe i'll even throw in a little praise for you. balance it out."

he just blinks at you. slowly.

"you think you're negotiating right now?" his voice is calm, but the grip on your thighs tightens.

you blink. "i mean, i'm trying to be reasonable—"

"reasonable?" he laughs, but there's no humor in it. "you publicly dragged me for weeks. humiliated me. and now that you're caught, you want to rewrite the narrative?"

"i'm offering solutions—" "you're offering bullshit," he snaps, and in a second he's climbing over you, his body slotting between your legs like it was made to be there. "and you think you still have leverage? cute."

your breath hitches. your hands push at his chest, but he grabs your wrists and pins them down again, harder this time—your body arching into him involuntarily.

"here's what's really gonna happen," he says, leaning in, nose brushing yours. "you're gonna try to flip this. act like you're still in control. try to turn the tables on me."

your throat tightens.

"but you won't. because the second you try, i'll remind you who made you beg. who had you gagging on the dick you said didn't exist." his voice drops lower, dangerous. "and then i'll ruin you all over again."

you glare up at him, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and defiance."you know what? fine." your voice is sharp, shaky. "you wanna play games? i'll play. let's see how fast you fold when i turn this around."

he raises an eyebrow. "is that right?" you reach down between your bodies—slow, deliberate—wrapping your hand around him. he's still hard. unfairly so. hot and heavy in your palm.

"maybe i was wrong about the size," you murmur, stroking him slow, his breath hitching. "but maybe you really are just a pillow princess. maybe you like being praised more than you like fucking."

his jaw ticks.

you press a kiss to his neck, voice a taunt against his skin. "what happens if i ride you instead? if i make you cum all over yourself."

he freezes.

"what if i write about that next?" you sit up dragging your tongue along the edge of his jaw. "'jake sim—big dick, zero stamina.' think the internet'll love that?"

you think you've got him.

until suddenly—he flips you.

you yelp, back hitting the mattress again as he rips your hand away from his cock and shoves your thighs up around his waist. the shift is fast, dominant, practiced.

"you really thought that'd work?" he's laughing now—mean, breathless, hungry. "thought you'd rile me up and get the upper hand? you forget who tracked you down and got you here in this room." his voice is pure venom now, thick with want. "who had you gagging and drooling on your knees while you fucked yourself on my shoes not even 5 minutes ago?"

his hands expertly yank off your jeans, his thumb hooked around the waistband of your baby pink cotton panties—teasing you. you writhe beneath him, but he doesn't budge—he presses into you, cock sliding between your clothed folds just to tease, just to show you what you don't get to control.

"you wanna test stamina?" he growls. "i'll fuck you 'til that smug little attitude disappears. 'til you're begging me to stop. 'til you're crying and calling me daddy."

you gasp—rage, arousal, panic blending in your gut—but you can't deny the throb between your legs. the way your body betrays your pride.

he feels it too.

his free hand runs up your sweater, your breath shaking as you feel him run his fingers up your stomach and make themselves comfortable on your tits. letting your hands go momentarily, he's yanking your sweater off and throwing it across the room.

"didn't know bratty girls like you wore baby pink. ruffles, lace trim—bows?" he grins, his hands playing with the frills of your bra as you twitch beneath him.

"fuck you," you spat out, voice coming out weaker than you wanted it to. jake only smirks, his hand reaching up to pull the straps of your bra down—letting your tits fall out. "oh i will," and with that he's taking one of your nipples hostage in his mouth. his grip on your wrists stays planted, not allowing you to move or struggle against him when he nips at the sensitive skin of your breasts.

he switches from left to right for a few minutes, basking in your whimpers and mewls before he kisses down your stomach. pulling away he's back to being face to face with you, a smug look on his face before he plants a kiss to your jaw. the kiss turns into bites, nipping at your neck and chest as he leaves behind purple splotches.

"maybe you can post the marks i left and then bash me," jake grins against your skin. you roll your eyes in response only for jake to shoot you a look that says: behave.

he moves your underwear to the side, exposing your cunt to his hungry eyes. he runs his thumb through your slit, gathering your slick.

"so wet," he mutters, dragging the head of his cock against your slit. "guess your body knows who's in charge, even if your mouth doesn't." he slams into you—deep, all at once—and you scream.

no teasing now. no easing in. no prepping.

just punishment. just proof. just him, ruining you from the inside out like it's the only way to shut you up.

"gonna make you forget every insult," he grits, hips snapping into yours over and over. "gonna fuck the hate right outta you."

he could feel your velvet walls convulse, sucking him in like a vacuum as he thrusts into you. you cry out, fingers digging into his shoulders, back arching, mind blurring. you hate how good it feels. how right.

"gonna ruin you," he whispers, lips at your neck. "and you're gonna thank me for it." his mouth traveling down to your tit to engulf one of your nipples once again.

your body jolts with every thrust, the sound of skin slapping and moans filling the room as you struggle to adjust to his girth.

you're still trembling when jake lifts your chin. his touch is deceptively gentle, but there's nothing soft in his expression. smug. commanding. dangerously patient.

"you still think you were right?" he asks lowly, voice scraping down your spine like velvet over steel. you blink up at him, lips parted, but your throat is dry. no sass now. not with the way your body's still recovering, knees weak, throat raw from every choked sound he pulled from you.

when you don't respond jake stops his movement, his hips go still as he simply stares down at you with a dark look in his eyes.

you were falling apart.

his cock was deep inside you, filling you so completely you couldn't even think straight— but jake wasn't moving. he just held you there, pinned beneath him, wrists trapped against the mattress, his hips grinding slow and mean against yours.

you whimpered, hips twitching up against him helplessly, desperate for more. he smirked down at you, cruel and smug, loving the way your body shook, the way your face twisted in frustration.

"what's wrong?" he murmured mockingly, leaning in so close his lips brushed your ear. "thought you'd be tougher than this."

you rationed with yourself for a moment, were you really going to beg? yes.

you tried to twist your wrists free but his grip only tightened. "please," you gasped out, tears welling in your eyes from how badly you needed to cum. "please, jake, i need it—"

he laughed, low and sharp, and snapped his hips forward once—deep and brutal—making you cry out. but then he stilled again, ignoring your desperate whines.

"you need it?" he repeated, pretending to think. "need my cock? need me to make you cum like the stupid little whore you are?"

your cheeks burned, shame rolling through you, but you nodded frantically.

"say it," he ordered, voice dropping, rough. you squeezed your eyes shut, humiliated, but the words still poured out.

"i need your cock," you sobbed. "please jake, please—i'll do anything, i'll be good, just let me cum—"

he laughed again, so fucking satisfied with himself.

"should've thought about being good before you started running your mouth online," he muttered, dragging his cock slow and deep inside you, making you arch and cry out.

you were shaking now—your whole body burning, every nerve stretched tight and ready to snap.

"you want it that bad?" he asked casually, grinding his hips just enough to make you sob.

"yes," you choked out. "please, jake—please, i need to cum, i can't—"

he grinned wickedly and finally, finally started fucking into you hard—deep, punishing thrusts that made you see stars. your walls clung onto how dick like a suction in attempt to milk him dry.

your moans spilled out loud and wrecked, your whole body bowing off the bed.

"good girl," he murmured darkly, "you're gonna cum when i say. not a second before." you nodded frantically, not trusting yourself to speak without crying. and when he finally, finally leaned down and growled, "cum for me, slut,"

you shattered.

you came so hard you were sobbing, spasming around him, your body giving out completely under his.

jake fucked you through it, laughing under his breath, dragging every last bit of pleasure and humiliation out of you until you were left shaking and gasping for air.

and even then, he wasn't done with you yet. he hadn't cum yet, and at the end of the day that's what you were here for—to be his little cum slut.  you barely had time to breathe—your body still spasming from the orgasm he tore out of you before jake grabbed your hips and pulled you back down onto him, grinding even deeper.

you yelped, broken noises spilling out of your mouth, trying to squirm away from the overwhelming sensation.

"no," he snapped, voice sharp and final, one hand locking tight around your waist to keep you from moving. "you don't get to run."

your head lolled back, tears slipping down your cheeks, your body a twitching mess.

"too much," you sobbed, trembling violently.

he laughed—laughed—at your misery.

"too bad," he muttered against your ear. "you're not done." he set a brutal rhythm, fucking into you hard, fast, merciless. your thighs shook, your nails dug into the sheets, your mouth fell open in helpless, gasping cries. you could feel yourself spiraling again—pain and pleasure tangled together until you couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.

"you think you're in control?" he grunted, slamming into you harder, making you scream. "you think you can say whatever you want about me and not pay for it?"

your whole body jolted with every thrust, the humiliation making your head spin.

"say it," he growled. "say you were wrong."

you whimpered, stubborn even now, biting down hard on your lip. he slowed down, grinding his cock against your sensitive walls in deep, deliberate circles that made you keen helplessly.

"say it," he repeated, cruel and low, "or i'll edge you until you're fucking crying."

your pride crumbled fast.

"i was wrong," you gasped out, voice cracking. he smirked, hips snapping forward again. "about what?"

you squeezed your eyes shut, shame flooding you. "about—about your dick," you choked out. "i lied, you're big—you're fucking huge—"

he chuckled darkly, like he already knew. "good girl," he breathed, voice dripping with mockery. "what else?"

you shook your head frantically, body jerking with overstimulation. he pulled almost all the way out—your cunt squeezing around nothing— before slamming back in so brutally you cried out.

"what else?" he hissed against your throat.

"i—i'm just a stupid bitch who doesn't know what she's talking about," you sobbed, face burning hot.

he laughed again, so fucking satisfied, so cruel.

"that's right," he murmured. "a stupid little whore who can't stop begging for the cock she said was too small."

you whimpered, broken, humiliated beyond repair. and still—your body clung to him, desperate for more. you realized with a sick twist in your gut that you would do anything—say anything—just to have him fuck you harder.

and jake knew it too.

he leaned down close, mouth brushing yours cruelly.

"beg," he whispered. "beg me to ruin you."

you could barely think. your body was burning, trembling, stretched tight around him— your mind a broken mess of shame and need. and still jake kept fucking you deep, rough, relentless.

his hands were everywhere—gripping your hips, your throat, your jaw—manhandling you like you were nothing more than a toy for him to use.

you whimpered when he grabbed your face, forcing you to look at him.

"beg," he ordered again, voice dark, breathless with lust. "beg me to ruin you, slut."

you shook your head at first, a broken little sob tearing from your throat. he growled low, slammed into you even harder—your back arching, a scream ripping from your lips.

"you don't get to say no," he hissed. "you wanted this." tears streamed down your cheeks, your body trembling violently.

"please," you gasped out, the word slipping before you could even think. "please jake..ruin me, use me. fuck me however you want—"

he laughed, so fucking smug, dragging his cock out slow just to make you whine. "good fucking girl," he murmured. "finally learning your place."

you babbled desperate nonsense, sobbing into the sheets, your pride shattered into dust.and jake fucked you through it all—using you like a fleshlight, pounding into you until your legs gave out, until your voice was wrecked and broken.

"this what you wanted, huh?" he sneered, slapping your ass hard enough to leave a sting. "to get fucked dumb? to get put in your place like the stupid little whore you are?"

you nodded frantically, gasping, sobbing, brain completely mush. "can't even speak anymore," he muttered, mocking. "just a cockdrunk mess." your nails clawed helplessly at the sheets, your cunt squeezing him so tight he groaned.

you felt another orgasm building—sharp, unbearable—but you were too gone to even ask permission. you just sobbed and gasped and let him take everything from you.

"yeah, that's right," he growled, voice thick with pleasure. "cum all over my cock, slut. make a fucking mess."

you shattered, your whole body convulsing around him, screaming his name like a prayer, a curse, a broken confession. and jake fucked you through it, dragging every last bit of your pride and resistance out of you, until there was nothing left but a crying, ruined mess on his cock.

you were shaking. your body was limp, wrecked, trembling under the weight of everything he made you feel.

and jake still wasn't satisfied.

he kept moving, grinding his cock deep inside your overstimulated cunt—mocking every broken sob that fell from your lips.

"what's wrong?" he said, voice dripping with fake sweetness. "too much?"

you could only whimper, drool slipping from the corner of your mouth. he grabbed your face again, rough, forcing your glassy eyes to meet his.

"you wanted to run your mouth so bad," he sneered. "now you can fucking thank me." your brain barely processed the words, too fogged with shame and pleasure. he slapped your cheek lightly—not enough to hurt, but enough to snap your attention back.

"say it," he barked. "say thank you."

you whimpered, tears spilling down your cheeks.

"th-thank you," you stammered, voice barely a whisper.

he smirked, cruel and satisfied.

"louder," he ordered, snapping his hips forward viciously, making you cry out. "thank you!" you sobbed, your voice hoarse and broken.

he chuckled darkly, his hand sliding down your throat, pressing lightly just enough to make your head spin.

"thank me for ruining you," he muttered, rolling his hips slow and deep, dragging another helpless moan from your lips.

your pride was turned into ash, your mind gone.

"thank you for ruining me," you gasped out, shaking uncontrollably, completely destroyed. he groaned, clearly getting off on how ruined you were—your body slack, twitching, drooling, your cunt spasming weakly around him.

"pathetic," he muttered against your ear. "look at you." you could feel how wet and messy everything was—your thighs sticky, the sheets underneath you soaked.

and still—still—he wasn't finished.

"gonna fill you up," he rasped, voice rough with the effort of holding back. "gonna fuck you so full you'll be leaking for days."

you sobbed, the humiliation sinking deeper into your bones.

"please," you whispered, because you didn't know what else to say anymore. he grunted low in his chest, thrusting faster, chasing his release. he could feel that familiar tinge in his stomach, he was close.

"such a good little cumdump," he growled. "just a hole for me to use." you broke again, another weak orgasm rolling through your abused body.

and jake finally spilled inside you—deep, hot, filling you up exactly like he promised.

he didn't pull out immediately. he stayed pressed deep, making sure you felt every drop. when he finally did pull out, you collapsed completely, a ruined, twitching, crying mess.

and jake just chuckled, so fucking smug. running his fingers down your slit before plugging your fluttering hole, making sure that his cum stays in you for as long as it could.

"maybe next time you'll think twice before running your mouth about me," he said, releasing your wrists before he gets off the bed. he left you there, spread open, dripping, humiliated beyond repair.

and you realized with a sick twist of your gut— you liked it.

you fucking loved every humiliating second of it.

✎﹏﹏

your body aches.

not in the romantic, soft-lit, post-orgasm kind of way.

no. it's raw. it's degrading. it's embarrassing.

your legs are trembling so badly you have to lean on the sink just to stay upright. your thighs sticky, sore. your throat dry and stretched thin from the pathetic, wrecked sounds he pulled out of you.

you yank your clothes back on as fast as your shaking hands allow, muttering curses under your breath. you can't even look at yourself in the mirror. because you know what you'll see: the ruined, wrecked version of yourself jake created.

and you hate him.

you hate how smug he looks when you finally stumble back into the room—hair mussed, shirt untucked, standing like he didn't just break you open with nothing but his cock and his fucking mouth. you hate how he leans against the wall, arms crossed, watching you with a look that says he's already won.

you hate that he was right.

and you really, really hate that you liked it.

you roll your shoulders back, force yourself to stand straight even if your body is begging you to drop.

"that what you wanted?" you rasp out, voice wrecked and scratchy. "you win. congrats. want a trophy or something?"

jake doesn't say a word. he just watches. calm. amused. smug.

and it pisses you off. burns you alive from the inside.

"you got what you wanted. you ruined my pride," you snarl, stepping closer even though your knees are ready to give. "so what now? supposed to kneel and thank you? beg you to keep ruining me?"

he cocks his head slightly, lips twitching.

you hate how unbothered he looks. you hate it so much it makes you reckless.

"you don't actually believe i meant all that, right?" you spit. "you really think i meant it when i said you're big? when i cried about how good you fucked me?"

you scoff, shaking your head with a cold, sharp laugh.

"you're pathetic. you got played because i moaned a little."

and that's when everything shifts.

because jake steps forward—smooth, controlled—grabbing your jaw so hard you gasp, slamming your back against the wall without even looking like he's trying. his face is inches from yours, breath warm, eyes dark and furious.

"still lying?" he murmurs.

your heart pounds wildly. you try to twist away but his grip on your jaw tightens, bruising.

"you begged for my cock," he hisses, thumb dragging across your trembling bottom lip. "you fucking cried for it. and you're gonna stand there and lie to my face?"

you choke on your words, humiliation pouring down your spine in cold waves.

he laughs bitterly, the sound vibrating low in his chest. "guess you really are as dumb as you look."

you flinch.

and jake leans in closer, voice dropping lower, meaner. "you wanna pretend you're still in control?" he taunts, dragging his fingers down your throat slow, almost tender. "you wanna act like you didn't cum so fucking hard you couldn't even say my name?"

you tremble.

but you don't back down—not yet. pride and fear tangled up, keeping you frozen.

he chuckles darkly.

"fine," he says, voice a low threat. "i'll remind you."

his hand snakes between your thighs, shoving your jeans down again, your underwear dragging with it, baring you completely in seconds. you gasp, struggling—but he's too strong, too fast. he grabs you by the hips, throws you onto the bed like you're weightless.

and then he's on you.

he presses your wrists to the mattress with one hand again, his weight pinning you down, his other hand roughly forcing your legs apart.

you barely have time to gasp before he's inside you again—deep, brutal, fucking the defiance out of you one savage thrust at a time.

you cry out, throat raw. he fucks you like he's furious, every slam of his hips meant to punish. "not so fucking smug now, huh?" he pants against your ear.

you whimper, broken sounds spilling out without permission.

"what happened to all that fake confidence, princess?" he mocks, rolling his hips harder, forcing your body to take every inch. "thought you said you could handle it."

you sob, writhing under him, but he doesn't let up. he leans down, dragging his teeth across your jaw, making you shudder helplessly.

"gonna make you beg again," he growls. "gonna make you say it like you fucking mean it."

you try to shake your head—but you're drowning. he's everywhere. he's everything. and no matter how much you try to cling to your pride, it crumbles between your shaking hands.

you're crying now—humiliated tears streaking down your flushed face—as he pounds into you mercilessly.

"please," you choke out, voice cracking.

he chuckles, cruel and satisfied.

"please what, baby?" he taunts, slowing his thrusts to a deep, punishing grind that makes your whole body twitch and seize.

"please," you sob again, shame burning you alive. "please let me cum."

he leans back slightly to look at you—hair a mess, eyes gleaming with dark satisfaction.

"you don't deserve to cum," he says, voice mocking. "whores who lie don't get rewards."

you whimper, hips stuttering against his, desperate, broken.

"but," he adds slowly, almost lazily, "if you beg real nice... maybe i'll consider it."

you sob harder, pride shattered into dust. and then—you beg.

you beg like a good little whore.

"please, jake," you cry, voice wrecked and hoarse. "i need it—i need to cum—please, please—"

he grins, dark and cruel, and finally—finally—lets you fall apart again, your body convulsing, cunt clenching around him helplessly as he fucks you through the brutal, soul-crushing orgasm. and you barely have a second to breathe before he's moving again—pulling out, grabbing your face in both hands, forcing your mouth open.

"open wide," he orders.

you're so wrecked you don't even think to disobey. you just open—lips trembling, eyes wide and glassy.

and jake leans over—spits straight into your mouth, thick and wet and humiliating.

you gag slightly, tears burning your eyes.

"swallow," he commands sharply.

you do.

you obey without even thinking.

and he smirks—grabbing his phone, flipping open the recording he just made of your pathetic begging, letting you hear it on loop while you lie there ruined, body trembling, throat raw.

he tucks his phone into his pocket, grabs your chin again, forcing you to look up at him. "remember this next time you wanna talk shit," he says, voice low and smug.

he kisses you—mocking and possessive—and leaves you there: used, wrecked, humiliated, and so thoroughly owned that you can't even pretend anymore.

jake sim ruined you and there's no taking it back.

— enjoy this fic? check out my other ones right here!

[m0rbidways]

COPIA BEING FRUITY IN NASHVILLE

🎥 me!

[s4toryuu]

inumaki headcanons — 1

notes: bc im losing it and i love toge too much.. also numbered for future masterlist because there will be multiple hcs!! —also not x reader bc not everyones into that but truuust next hc will be x reader

part 2

he mostly communicates through notes app and signing but since it’s annoying to pull up every time he just resorts to body language and signaling to things

he knows that he can probably say a lot of words but he’s too scared ever since some kind of incident in his childhood

he can definitely say other nouns but when he says people’s names, that person automatically anticipates a command or smth so he just refrains from saying anyones name

despite him being a troll, there’s definitely a side to him that wishes people took him more seriously

he can type like 150wpm due to it being his only straight way of communication LMAO

texts with chronically online slang

absolute menace outside of assignments and school (see: maki’s skirt incident)

kind of likes that his onigiri language can piss people off

can’t lose arguments

really fcking funny on tw1tter and on his ig spam

like he’s actually hilarious and probably has a couple thousand followers

he doesn’t tweet a lot or post a lot but when he does it’s stupidly funny and genius wit

his hair looks a little like back it did when he was a first year when he wakes up in the morning

I feel like he’d like hot chocolate idk he just looks cozy all the time and I associate it with hot choco

his body temp runs on the warmer side

he’s a twice fan idc I don’t make the rules

has never once used his cursed speech for malice

at least not for anything serious

like he definitely got free candy or something when he was little from a candy store, “give me free candy” idk

he’s one of those “sigh.. this generation” people who say that whenever they’re out and everyone’s on their phones

but actually it’s just cuz he likes spending time with his friends so he wants everyone to be present

he just mutters “okakaaa” with a sigh and dramatically rolls his eyes while him and the second years wait for their food in mcdonalds

maki’s like “what now” and he points to their phones and mocks how they’re sitting like capital Cs

more soon!

— reqs [open]

[shitouttabuck]

Do you have any buddie fic recommendations for me? Sweet fluffy smutty idc I need something good 🥺

hiya! these are some of my faves off the top of my head and you’ve probably read most of them and if you’re like. nina. these are eighty percent fics by your mutuals. well i BECAME pals with them by adoring their writing and bullying my way into their lives about it <3

stitch my soul 30.5k by @onward--upward (soulmates au that genuinely changed my whole life i think about it daily—fair warning it’s a little heartachey, but in the best way)

it’s nice to have a friend 6.4k by @colonoscopys (a little domesticity i love this with my whole heart it’s so soft and sweet)

drench yourself in words unspoken 26k by @eddiediazes (everything is the same except eddie secretly writes romance novels and i reread this like once a month it makes me so happy)

the side effects of eating too many clementines 3k by @forthewolves (idk what to even say, no one writes love like amanda writes love, it’s a bigger-than-your-chest kind of feeling)

(this kiss is) something i can't resist 7.9k by @clusterbuck (family curse where eddie has to kiss his true love in one year or he’ll die, i laughed so much, EXACTLY the kind of romcom shit with a side of ridiculous i adore)

growing sideways 3k by @housewifebuck (extremely evan buck buckley is christopher diaz’s parent and you WILL cry about it)

left your mark on this heart 5.8k by @anxieteandbiscuits (buck thinks he has post-lightning heart complications but he’s just That stupid in love)

slip like freudian 4.4k by @jeeyuns (eddie diaz gets jinxed and is Extremely entertaining about it)

sundae kind of love 18k by @rewritetheending (okay this was the first morgan fic i ever read—and maybe one of the First buddie fics i read actually—and i think about the pier scene all the time! au where buck works at an ice cream shop by the beach)

maybe fall in love 1.8k by @try-set-me-on-fire (brick’s writing is just. unfailingly gorgeous but also 8 out of 10 times the most devastating thing you’ll ever read so this is a sweet, minimal emotional damage first kiss one???)

there’s always been a rainbow hangin’ over your head 8.7k by @alyxmastershipper (just the heartwarmingest of coming outs feat. the mug of my dreams. so so soft)

i think it’s my body wanting it the most by @transboybuckley (post-date that they’re not sure is a date, this is under a thousand words and i could not stop beaming i come back to it all the damn time)

you shaped this heart of mine 5k by justhockey (i haven’t reread this because it was such an enormous ache—in a good way—when i read it the first time, but god. god i love it so much. domestic sickfic)

i’ll scrawl it on every wall i see 29k by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (loosely a you’ve got mail au???? which is simply my favourite romcom in the whole world. this is so fucking funny as is everything they write and i adore it)

there ain’t language for the things i feel 1.8k by calvingseason (eddie buys buck a plant at the farmers market it is. so unbelievably soft)

i’ve almost certainly forgotten a bunch of faves so let me trawl through my bookmarks later and round some more up!!!!! highly rec ALL of these guys’ fics though SOME OF YOU are hell bent on breaking my heart these days and anon asked for “sweet. fluffy. smutty” and not hole-in-chest-in-shape-of-author's-fist, so

[comfycuddles]

You know what I think...

It's time we start talking about Peter Capaldi.

When we talk about Doctor Who and our favourite modern doctors, we always go round and round in the same circles:

"David Tennant is the greatest Doctor!"

"No way! Matt Smith brought this goofy nature to the character, while maintaining the Doctor's eternal darkness!"

"Please! Nine was funny and sassy and just overall great. He deserved more credit. Eccelston was the best Doctor!"

And sometimes even a:

"I think that although she had to endure poor writing, a female Doctor was refreshing!"

I agree with this of course, and every Doctor brings something with them, you know who we don't post enough about? Or even generally talk about enough?

Peter fucking Capaldi. I seriously think he might be one of the most underrated Doctors of the modern era and It's a WASTE.

From the very beginning he was just amazing. "Do you know how to fly this thing?" ICONIC. His first episode was pure crack in the very best way. (The way he flirted with the dinosaur, anybody?)

Capaldi had this amazing connection with Jenna as Clara (Although I am a Clara stan idc so I might be a little biased about that) and their dynamic was so much fun to watch.

Not unlike David Tennant Peter is such a fan of the show. (As was confirmed by Jenna) But is also nice about it too. He doesn't go around just correcting everyone, but he wants everyone to know what an amazing show it is and wants people to love it just as much as he does.

Also 12 was so iconic??? Fighting fucking Robin Hood with a spoon? Awesome! Rolling into the middle ages on a fucking tank, calling people "Dude", making puns and dumb jokes and above else SLAYING that guitar?! Yes! A thousands times Yes! Just the best space grandpa ever!

Capaldi is so unhinged and has this chaotic energy while still appearing as the sanest person in the room. Just look up some stories about him fucking around on the set.

It was also very refreshing to see an older Doctor. I mean, I think Capaldi wad the oldest guy to play the Doctor since HARTNELL. He still had this youthful energy, but he just seemed so DONE with everyones bullshit. 12 handled things with a certain maturity that I kinda loved.

Like he has life experience, he KNOWS what his actions will cause and that's GOOD to see of the Doctor. And at the same time he's also forgiving himself for all the things he's done, which is even BETTER.

And don't even talk to me about his relationship with his companions and Missy. First of all the latter gives me life. And his relationship with Bill was so good y'all. I mean, he punched a racist in the face for her. (ICON!!!!) And were just adorable.

And my final point, the biggest point: Peter Capaldi is just an AMAZING actor. We all love "Heaven sent" and It's just the greatest episode EVER and this is party because Moffat wrote it so beautifully, but also because of Capaldi's Jaw dropping performance!!! If he wasn't SUCH an amazing actor the episode would have never worked. And I am certain of this fact. He did that y'all! HE. DID. THAT.

Capaldi gave some of the best speeches and performances in Doctor Who history. And everyone sleeps on it, and I say "No more!" Also his line. "Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?" DONE, SOBBING ON THE DAMN FLOOR. I need to say with this that I'm NOT an emotional person at all. But somehow that line hit me right in the feels and never stopped.

So yeah

Eccelston was hilarious and fun and amazing

David was awesome and I think It's definitely deserved that he goes down in history as one of the greatest Doctors.

Matt had some heartwrenging moments that I'll never get over, was as cool as bowties and just lovely

And Jody was unique and ADORABLE!

But y'all are SLEEPING on Peter Capaldi and 12 and that is SO undeserved.

Mister Capaldi Sir, if you ever see this, (You probably won't, but that's okay. I hope it does though) just know, that I love and adore you so much and think you are one of the greatest actors and human beings in the history of everything. And you DESERVE to know that. I will forever be proud to say that 12 that is my favourite Doctor of all time. And I say this without half a doubt in my mind. I'm a proud Peter Capaldi stan until the end of time. And just know that I and so many more people along with me have so much LOVE for you. (Most of us not in a creepy way though) and you are CRIMINALLY underrated.

Thank you so much for reading my rant.

This has been a Peter Capaldi/12th Doctor appreciation post. And I invite you to reblog this and show your love for the best Doctor. Only positivity though, stay nice.

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

I’m still furious at the Brazil mess so I’m sorry if this is incoherent but holy fuck!!!! Im not saying this to minimize Ana’s death, but another person was shot and killed before the concert, and over 1000 people were injured during it as well!! I don’t care whether it was strictly her, the venue, of her team making decisions none of that should’ve happened. They banned outside water, closed the air vents so people in the parking lot couldn’t hear for free, used pyrotechnics even though fans begged her not to make the already 100 degree heat worse. The fact that over A THOUSAND people fainted or were burned by the venues metal grates and she did nothing to stop it and nothing afterward!!! Brazil is one of the places being hit by global warming the hardest and she did all this shit during the hottest time of year, AND flew back and forth between Brazil and her home every night instead of staying in a hotel. She’s been one of if not the biggest individual contributors to pollution for the past 2 years!! Indirectly and directly she is to blame for all this and I think she knows it. It’s probably why she couldn’t muster more than a “I’m so sad don’t msg :(“ insta story post and purposely skipped all her other shows quiet moments. It’s clear she doesn’t care about her fans, especially fans of color. I hope everyone at that concert sues for negligence.

no worries its not incoherent at all!

her negligence was deliberate. idc what any swiftie says she is responsible to a certain extent of the venue and she definitely 100% has the power to make sure none of that shit happened. but she knew and didn’t care (and she definitely knew because they also told her of ana’s death). a moral human being would stop the show and make sure the conditions were liveable and SAFE to be in during a concert but she knew she already had everyone’s $ so she just went on anyways. and i don’t doubt the fact her negligence was aided by the fact that brazil isn’t a wealthy white western country so she wouldn’t face as much backlash. can you imagine if this happened in the U.S. with a girl that looked just like her? her tour would be cancelled. & you’re not minimizing ana’s death at all, you’re just giving proper context to the horrific situation and letting us know her death wasn’t spontaneous but a direct result of the neglectful and actively dangerous conditions. and then to top this all off with her flying to/from her LA home like what a way to say fuck you to her brazilian fans. im so sorry this happened and her racism is undeniable and fatal

[kuai-kuai]

webdev log 2

implemented a gallery. I originally wanted it to be more grid-like but I decided I didn't want to mess too much with that, and I like the simple look anyways. forces you to really take in every shitty drawing.

it features a search function that only works for tags. its purpose is mostly just to search multiple tags, because I couldn't be fucked to add a feature where you could click on multiple tags there at the tags list at the top. it lists out all used tags in the table that stores art so you have an idea of what there all is.

at the bottom there's pagination. it's INSANELY easy to do with this framework I'm using. I was gushing about it to my partner on call!! they made fun of me but that's okay!!!!

anyways, clicking on the date underneath the drawing takes you to a view with the image itself (a kind of "post", if I can call it that) here you can view comments and leave one yourself if you so desire. guests are NOT allowed to reply to existing comments because I'd rather things not get too clogged up. I can't stop anyone if they did an "@{name} {message}" type comment, but I don't think anyone is gonna be chatting it up on my site, so idc. I just want it very minimal, and no nesting beyond one single reply.

of course, you can comment on story chapters too so here's what it looks like for a user (me). of course, if a user (me) posts then it gets automatically approved.

the table that stores comments differentiates story comments and art comments with foreign keys to the primary keys of the the chapter and art tables. it's a little convoluted and I kind of wish I didn't do it this way but it's too damn late isn't it. but honestly it might've been the only way to do it. the problem is just repeating code for both chapter and art views.. making a change to one means I gotta manually make the same change to the other. huge pain..

added user authentication and a really shitty bare bones dashboard for myself to approve/reject comments directly on the site in case someone comes along and wants to be mean to me :( rejecting a comment deletes it OFF my site forever. though I kind of want to be able to keep hate mail so I dunno.. oh, and also a big fat logout button because I have nowhere else to put it.

I'll spare everyone the more technical ramblings.

anyways, I'm hoping to add more things later. these are my plans:

allow users (me) to post stories/art through the site itself instead of doing it manually in the vscode terminal for every. single. story. and drawing. (probably took me 6+ hours total just doing this. I don't know why I did it.) (btw this consists of writing commands to store information via the terminal. also, sql and similar databases don't store things like markup or even line breaks. I had to alter all my stories and put \n every time there was a line break... and you have to escape apostrophes (or quotes, depending on which you use) so every "it's" had to be made into "it\'s" HUGE. PAIN. I didn't do this manually obviously but sifting and plugging my stories into character replacers was so time consuming)

delete comments button.... For my eyes and fingers only

make an About page. I've been avoiding all the fun things and doing just the scary stff

figure out SSH stuff...

clean up the shitty css. I refuse to use tailwind even tho it's trying to force me.. I don't want some sleek polished site I want it look like it's in shambles, because it is

but yeah thanks for reading about my webdev and coding journey. even though using the laravel framework made things a thousand times easier it's still a crazy amount of work. let's say building a site completely from scratch means buying every material and designing the house yourself, and using a website builder like wix is just like buying a pre built home and you're just decorating it. using this framework is like putting together a build-your-own-house kit. you're still building a fucking house.

I feel crazy. it felt like the site was close to breaking several times. been sleep deprived for several days working on this nonstop I think I'm getting a little sick 😵‍💫

going to bed now. it's 9 am.

[bitchofdarkness]

8, 17, and 19 for the year in review ask list!

Hey love! Thank you for asking 🥰

8. What fic meant the most to you to write?

Phew, my baby is A Heart's Desire and it's still ongoing (although I wish I'd finished it this year already and hey, maybe I will lol. Here's to hoping), but if I have to choose a finished work I would say Ashes of a Former Life. It's a gender bender fic that is pretty long and where I got to put my blorbos throguh a lot of stuff that isn't too heavy xD

17. Share your favorite opening line:

Opening lines are not my forte, I don't really like mine tbh. Only one that didn't make me frown from this year:

A small gift landed in Seok-chan's lap and while he fumbled with it to keep it from falling to the ground, he looked up at the person who unceremoniously threw it at him. “What is this? A Valentine's gift, Sarge?” he asked and shook the little brightly wrapped box, a delighted smile on his face.

The rest can be found here.

19. Share your favorite piece of dialogue:

From an unedited Sweet Home fic I have yet to finish and post:

If he’d thought lusting after his subordinate had been bad before, it was a thousand times worse now.

Somehow he managed to power through the week without being a complete weirdo, but failed on Friday. “What are you doing this weekend?” Yeong-hu asked as he walked to the parking lot next to Seok-chan. His subordinate was a bit perplex and blinked up at him since Yeong-hu never asked after such things and usually hightailed out of there without a word.

“Not much,” Seok-chan replied, a blush creeping up his face as he avoided Yeong-hu’s eyes. Through his live streams during the week, Yeong-hu had noticed that Seok-chan always looked a little sad when he mentioned he’d be eating alone. “I might visit my family.”

“Ah,” Yeong-hu said, thinking of a natural way to offer having a meal with him, but failed. “Would you like to eat something?”

The need to face-palm right after he said this was almost too great and Seok-chan appeared to be seriously confused, but managed to give him a smile nonetheless. “Are you asking to have a meal together or if I’m hungry in general?” He’d always been good at deciphering Yeong-hu’s words, but this was the first time Yeong-hu felt embarrassed not to have been clearer. “I could shoot a quick text to the boys if you want us to have a night out together.” Today didn’t seem like the day Seok-chan was good at it though.

Seok-chan was already fishing his phone out to do just that when Yeong-hu stopped him, “No, I meant just...us?” This really wasn’t getting any better and Yeong-hu was ready to just give up and make a quick escape. “I- there’s a lot of food at my home and I...would like some help? But it’s not enough for the whole unit,” he got out, feeling betrayed that the ground didn’t break open to swallow him whole.

Seok-chan got a little closer like he was inspecting him, “Are you feeling okay, Sir?” he asked, hand shooting out to probably check for a fever, but Yeong-hu caught his wrist before he got too close. “Sorry.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” Yeong-hu grunted, “You know I’m not good at making friends?”

His subordinate slowly blinked at him and Yeong-hu could only imagine what he was thinking. “That should be a statement, not a question, Sarge.” Seok-chan said bluntly. “But sure, I’ll help you with your food.”

I'm honestly cracking up each time I revisit this dialogue. Idc if someone thinks that makes me arrogant for laughing at my own writing xD it's funny. Can't wait to post this trainwreck full of horny 😂

-

2024 in Review - ask game

[milf-louis]

I know im late to post my first louis concert experience but i just really wanted to share this so here it is <3

The journey to the venue was pretty uneventful, when we got off the subway a man who worked there asked us if we’re going to the “Tomlinson concert” and gave us directions. On the bus we saw a bunch of really young fans, one of them was wearing a 0neDee shirt and i gave them a dirty look and idc if they were like 10 it felt good! Later on one of them asked if we want to be in their tiktok and wear heart shaped sunglasses… we rejected them so fast lol. So we got off the bus and walked till we saw the venue, screamed a bit, continued walking to the entrance, got past the security and then walked around without a purpose and got something to eat. In the meantime i worked on my sign. We made the mistake of not getting water afterwards and just made our way into the venue. When we got inside the venue tho the second opening act started playing. They were meh. And then we just sat there for a long time doing nothing but staring sadly at the giant poll that would block our view of louis on stage UNTIL the band appeared on the stage and THE CROWD WENT WILDDD the scream they let out made my ears RING AND THEN LOUIS WAS THERE AND HE STARTED SINGING THE GREATEST AND my life felt complete!! My heart was beating so fast and i felt lightheaded i just!!! Couldn’t believe my eyes!! I started screaming the lyrics right away. He was captivating, ethereal, powerful and OWNED the stage!!

So!! I do not remember the order of the songs but everything was amazing, he started off strong and kept it up. He did sound a bit off a few times but im guessing it has to do with the fact that he was tired bc of the previous shows. Anyways!! He literally KILLED KMM I did not want that song to end I couldn’t get enough!! He sounded SOOO good during Bigger Than Me! He hit those notes and you could tell that it’s a song that needs to be played live. Holding On To Heartache was such a moment my god he ate that UP!! That was one of the highlights for me i was really really impressed with how he sounded, he put his soul into that song and it showed! Shed a few tears as well cuz that song just hit different yk.. he did sing two 0neD songs which.. I didn’t sing along to because I genuinely didn’t know the lyrics and wasn’t going to try and remember 😭 so those were kind of the moment i let myself have a break from screaming and jumping. During WAOYF u could just tell the energy in the venue shifted. People were LOUD. As loud as the other one d songs LIKE HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID TO ALL OF US WITH THAT TRACK HE JUST KNOWS. Hearing WMI for the first time was such an experience!! The best way to describe it was nostalgic and just really sweet idk i loved it. Ok. I know I’ve heard copy like a thousand times now but… you guys the recorded version is NOTHING compared to the live version. I could feel myself ascending into heaven with every word it was just beyond words. One of my favourite moments or perhaps THE favourite part of the show for me. WALLS WAS ALSO NOSTALGIC AND I GOT TO SCREAM “you were my because” at louis with my whole heart!!!! That was so so so special definitely one of the moments i will never forget. Lucky Again was literally perfect he again hit the notes and it was perfection. The song that surprised me the most when heard live was probably Angels Fly because he just did it sooo well and had full control over the song it was just such a nice tune to hear live also one of my favourites! .Face The Music is one of the songs that sounds amazing live!! And 505… someone else did inform me that he will cover it but nothing and i mean NOTHING could have prepared me for what i heard that day. I was ON MY KNEES READY TO PLEASE HE was just so hot!!! So effortlessly hot and sexy it was almost too much for my heart. I caught myself shouting “with your hands between MY thighs” … not my proudest moment 😵‍💫 the most shocking moment was back to you ofc. i was losing my marbles when it started playing i was head empty no thoughts except for “what the fuck is happening is this a new track????” And louis starts singing and i am STILL TOO OUT OF IT TO UNDERSTAND THAT ITS BACK TO YOU so my friend had to tell me what song it is and then i was having the best time of my life. I don’t know how he managed to alter it into a rock version so perfectly but it’s not a surprise, anything that louis is involved in is absolute perfection. Out Of My System my beloved!! Could not get enough of it one of my faves. All This Time was another moment that made me emotional because it showed how louis loved performing that songs and put his heart into it. Silver Tongues was also one of my favs and i really REALLY wanted to be closer to the stage at that moment to see his chaotic ass in action 😭. They gave away free monsters when we left and a group of embarrassing people were doing a * karaoke but that’s irrelevant. Overall it was a perfect night and !! i got to meet @berlinini and @bbrox 🫶🏼

[beebeetheclown]

No idc it’s game time. ‘Action stations’ Kendall Roy phase

So.. for the ones who saw my one post about the options.. I think I’ve cleared it lol. (Probably not there’s still stress and possible most likely mind changes) there’s no just bakery and pastry classes anywhere near where I live now. They are all hours and hours away. I think first I need to learn to live on my own somewhere close by.

I don’t think I’ll do the culinary course and live with my parents cause I just really feel like I won’t be interested in the cooking classes and also it’s expensive obviously. Also if I stay here any longer I feel like I will lose my mind even when I get a job. There is nothing to do here, I have no friends here, and all the men here I hate lmao.

Moving out would be so good for me. If I get depressed, there’s somewhere for me to go, a mall, a park, a random university just to walk around in, etc. And also, my family isn’t too far away and the city I’m thinking of my sister lives in. Here there is practically no where. Our only public park is full of druggies or strange people, our mall is so sad, more empty than full of stores. There’s hardly any events here, etc blah blah.

People constantly tell me how hard it is to afford living on my own especially with only working minimum wage, yes. I know. I’ve heard it one thousand fucking times. If you want me to not live with you till I’m late 30, stop telling me this bullshit that will make me give up and say boo hoo.

If I move out, start out minimum wage, that’s okay. Moving out in a bigger nicer city, maybe I meet someone and eventually move in with them and split rent, maybe I somehow get two jobs, maybe I get experienced enough on something than I get a higher job.

I’m just tired of people telling me crap. I know, I know they are trying to help me. But I just need them to listen to me, say good positive things about it and help me by looking at places and stuff, not just telling me the bad stuff that comes with it. I just constantly feel like they don’t think I am able to do it. Well, staying in this house with nothing to do is only going to make me more depressed and anxious and all that. I need to start fresh.

Game time you guys😎 I am not going to let them hunt and take me down like I’m some little deer.

[information-insecurity]

this is weird for me as an atheist to say, but

there is this thought experiment that challenges the almighty nature of God. and I think it's wrong

the experiment in question goes like this: "Can God create a stone he cannot lift? If he can create it, can he lift it?". Obvoiusly however you answer these two questions, you disprove the almightiness (is that a word? anyway) of God: if he can't create it, he is not almighty; if he can create it, but can't lift it, he is not almighty, because there is that thing that he can't do; and if he can create it and can lift it, then it doesn't have a property of 'God can't lift me', therefore he can't create such a stone and so he is not almighty. It is logical, so it can be used as a basis for a claim that an Almighty God can't exist, because he is inherently illogical. But here's the thing

Logic, by definition, is a science about making correct statements. It follows the laws humanity has observed over thousands of years, and so to make a statement or a conclusion right it has to follow a set of only four rules:

any statement should be defined and remain true to that exact definition throughout any given thought process

contradictory statements can't be true at the same time

for any object one of a pair of contradictory statements must be true

Considering the liftability of a stone in relation to God (liftability for short; again, idc if it's a word or not in English language, it's my post), it remains the same throughout the experiment (meaning that by liftability we always mean exactly that), a stone can't be both liftable and not liftable and can't be neither liftable nor non-liftable

With that out of the way, what do I disagree with? Well, the whole experience does an interesting thing - it implicitly defines God as part of the universe he created and then binds him to the laws of his creation. Whoever created this basically thought "well, if these laws are true in-universe, they should also apply to its hypithetical creator", but I believe this assumption to be completely wrong. I think this line of reasoning misunderstands whatever theologists are trying to say and then criticises that misunderstanding as if it was true. It's basically strawman fallacy. Why do we think that God follows his own laws and why do we try to criticise him based on that assumption? I mean, we already enter an assumption that he exists somewhere by doing that experiment, why do we feel the need to assume further? Isn't it a better strategy to challenge the foundations of specific religious practices rather than try to dismantle them 'inside out' by assuming a very vague and constantly changing set of dogmas to be true for the sake of argument? We're trying to play their game and quite prominently losing, maybe we should set our own rules for that? Just sayin'

anyways I don't know if the post is coherent (probably isn't) but am going to keep it that way anyway, let it be my own stream of consciousness on that. Tell me what you think if you're interested

and yes I know someone smarter probably came up with that long before and put it into better words

[amoeganism]

🍓🌹❗for both and 🥀❤️💔🥩 for mayumi :333

(can u tell i really like mayumi)

MAYUMI MY GIRL!!!!!!! i love her sm she's a horrible person but idc 🔥

info under the cut

🍓 (strawberry) - Does your oc believe in anything? Are they superstitious? Religious? Atheistic? Has anything in their past made them this way?

already answered this one in the previous post!!

🌹 (rose) - What does your oc find attractive in other people? Are these traits found in their friends and/or romantic partners? Are they found in themselves?

mayumi's standards are LOWWW she'll fold for any girl but she doesn't fall in love easily. her kind of pining is staring at a girl from afar and giggling over scenarios at home (she needs to stay mysterious and nonchalant). she skips from crush to crush really fast though, a new one maybe every other week but she's got a thing going on with yuu that's been pretty steady

ryuji is an unapologetic gold digger LMFAO ever since the u20 match he's had his eye on isagi and hits on him every chance he gets (he's atrocious at flirting and isagi thinks ryuji is just fucking with him and it pisses him off). his feelings for isagi started because he saw isagis potential and exponential growth in the sport and from that MONEY!!! FAME!!! if he sees an opportunity to exploit, he'll jump for it cuz he's trying to do anything to get validation and also out of his life

❗️(exclamation point) - What was the scariest moment of your character’s life? Does it still affect them?

for mayumi it's when when her mom got hospitalized after her dad beat her. she was used to her parents always arguing and both of their explosive tempers but that time they got physical. after that she was left kinda jaded and cuz violence was all she knew, she flipped out on her schoolmates and ended up getting expelled her second year.

i'd say the most defining moment of his life is when he got alcohol poisoning and had a nearly fatal overdose of synthetic drugs one night, leaving him in several thousands of yen in debt because of medical bills in a city he doesn't live in. his family is already poor so that was a huge punch in the face about his lifestyle and living situation. also he used diapers until 13 and he lives in constant fear about that secret coming out

MAYUMI ONLY SECTION:

🥀 (wilted flower) - How does your character deal with stressful situations? Is their fear response fight, flight, freeze or fawn?

mayumi has horrendous coping mechanisms and immediately goes for fight. she's on edge like 24/7 and is 5 secs away from jumping everyone #angerissues

❤️ (heart) - Who is the most important person to your character? To what lengths would they go to protect this person?

MAYUU YURI!!!! mayumi honestly only cares about yuu and feels kinda bad because she sees herself as a horrible influence on yuu. she'd do anything for yuu but is also scared that one day she'll blow up on yuu and fuck up their relationship, leaving her alone

💔 (broken heart) - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

i'm gonna be fr she's probably hurt everyone in her life bc that's all she knows of relationships. she's thought about getting physical but she can't hold her own in a fight like... at all.... so it's mainly emotional abusing others until she got expelled and that's when she was like "huh.... maybe i should .... not 😱 " and got sent to intensive therapy for half a year so yuu is her #1 #icon

🥩 (steak) - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

her previous coping mechanism was severely bullying everyone in her vicinity but ever since she got out of therapy, she's been trying to manage her temper. she's still on edge 24/7 and a literal bomb so she turned to self harm and punishing herself #ROFL i was gonna include it in my scene!mayumi art but i thought it was too much so i cropped it out 😭

[caliburn-the-sword]

cress commentary (hehe i love alliteration)

i love how you can tell how far into a book i am by how dense?? my commentary is in terms of like how many comments i'm making over a given number of chapters. because when i'm first starting a book i'm good to interrupt my reading to taking a note down but once the stakes and tension start hitting i'll only note something down if it's significant enough

"She would have kept walking all day if he had asked it of her" jesus christ cress sounds like she's been glamoured LMAO

CRYING SHAKING THROWING UP CINDER DIDN'T MENTION CRESS TO ERLAND - but now that i know how common a name crescent is it's likely he wouldn't even think twice about it

cinder and erland's relationship honestly reminds me of the relationship between buffy and giles. a teenage "chosen one" so to speak, who has the weight of the world on their shoulders and copes being sassy, and her long suffering but equally sassy mentor figure. i think that's why i love it so much

SAHARA. THAT'S WHERE CRESS AND THORNE MAYBE ARE. THEY'RE GONNA FIND EACH OTHER

i really like the townspeople of farafrah

OMG AND NOW KAI THINKS SCARLET IS THE LUNAR PRINCESS. dramatic irony my beloved. i mean kai is right that cinder has found the lunar princess,,, just wrong about WHO it is LMAO

YES THORNE HAS REJECTED HER. god she's freaking out

cress' reaction to seeing the goat <3 she's got such a distinct character voice. also she's super delulu and i love her

i remember questioning on a previous post how everyone talked to everyone else. universal language explains it. praying it's not english

thank goodness cress and thorne found someone. hopefully no one recognised him

jail for a thousand years DO NOT hit me with the one bed trope with CRESS AND THORNE OF ALL PEOPLE (note: i've never been more glad to see a character kidnapped and to NOT see the one bed trope happen)

back to being grossed out by thorne again. i don't like him. idc if he can't see, it's about PRIVACY and BOUNDARIES. he should not be entering a bathroom where an underage girl is showering, with or without consent. it's gross

omg is thorne buying the escort droid for iko

jacin is kind of a dick ngl. sometimes his humour is funny and other times he's like a 12 year old boy that thinks dark humour is like making jokes about war. like bro people are DYING. you don't have to give a shit about cinder but at least don't make fun of her friend that's been kidnapped by the queen

losing my mind that erland and cress have met

help has cress just stumbled across wolf?? this is hilarious NAUR JACIN HAS JUST COME IN OMG. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WHY IS GAMORA SCENE IN INFINITY WAR. AND NOW ERLAND AND THORNE. THIS IS CHAOS INCARNATE OMG FSKDHFSKH

EW EW EW the sex bot androids are modelled after LATE TEENS??? YIKES.

(intervention voice) come on cinder, what have i told you?? friends don't control the bioelectricity of friends

holy shit. what's happening to scarlet is literally horrifying

scarlet referencing helen of troy~

OMG PRINCESS WINTER

HOLY SHIT SCARLET'S FINGER I HATE CLIFFHANGERS I NEED HER NEXT CHAPTER IMMEDIATELY. fingers can often be reattached (or a toe in place of a finger) so HOPEFULLY that's what happens for poor scarlet if she does lose her finger

IKO FSKHFSCKFNHS SHE HAS A BODY NOW

cress is literally so paparazzi by lady gaga. and also lovefool by the cardigans. also this is home by cavetown but specifically the bridge. ocean eyes by billie eilish (even tho i imagine thorne with brown eyes lol). a few penelope scott songs but you're not allowed to make fun of me for this. god this is probably gonna end up with me making a playlist. thankfully i'm too lazy to make playlists so my ears are safe from the onslaught of random mishmashed songs that remind me of cress (that said thinking of a song when i see a character or thinking of a character when i hear a song has gotta be the highest honour i can bestow to any character)

i remember reading meyer's pronounciation guide when i first started the series and jacin's was like "jay-sin - so the real pronounciation of jason" but i'm aussie and every jason i've known has been pronounced jay-sen, so i'm respectfully ignoring that. i doubt i'm pronouncing anyone's names right anyway LMAO like i have to mentally correct myself every time i read benoit as "beh-no-it" instead of "ben-wah" (if i'm STILL incorrect i apologise to french speakers). i've also been pronouncing wolf's actual name as "zay-ev" idk how right that is

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees @shellyseashell

[designsdefiance]

quick lil pinned post that might get replaced with something prettier at some point. idk i'm terminally lazy.

about me

lance, 25, he, gmt, i will also respond to my mains' names idc

crystal + chaos dcs mainly but i have alts on other dcs

drk/brd/blm main

alliance raid enthusiast. normal about ancients (lying)

i only roleplay with friends but i love my ocs a lot and i'm trying to be more outgoing about sharing them

about my wols

if i talk about ALL of them in detail here this will be a thousand years long so to keep it brief, my trio of favourite children:

loren; midlander, he, pld -> drk + blm

ishgardian runaway teen turned ul'dahn sellsword. full of problems but don't worry about him he's fine (he's not)

m'seyli; seeker, she, cnj -> sge + arc

gyr abanian who (reluctantly) left her home with her very sick baby sister m'kipfhi in search of a cure

hypnos; ancient, he, blm

my azem oc + half of the ancient soul that would be reincarnated as loren. silly lil guy shadowed everywhere by his very intimidating twin brother/literal other half of his soul thanatos.

you can find the rest of my ocs here!

things to note

i don't have a dni or anything, but a couple things to note before following:

i rarely post anything nsfw but it might happen?? so like be aware if ur a minor.

one of my mains is in a lalafell/non lalafell relationship so if that bothers you you probably won't have a good time here

this blog will not be spoiler free. i'm all caught up on msq and most side content and horrifically bad at tagging spoilers.

i like and follow from @cryptocorvid, though i'm more active for non xiv stuff on my side blog @aspeckrobus

[golbrocklovely]

Hi, so the thing about the volunteer mods on xplrclub kind of rubs me the wrong way. They absolutely have made millions in their career, I mean their channel has been blowing up steadily for years. Their channel on top of merch sales, tours, xplrclub, they're living rather comfortably. One of the other anon's said colby has admitted to spending 10k a month on just clothing?? 10k is what I make in 5 months of working full time, dropping that on clothing in one year is insane let alone one month. Plus they have 2 mansions and not just rent but own. I'm the same age as them and I'm still living at home because despite having an MA and working full-time, my job doesn't pay me a wage that would allow me to live on my own without going completely broke and ending up in even more crippling debt.

I do like snc, as people I think they're probably really nice guys, but I think they've been in the influencer sphere for too long and no longer have any grasp on the real world. We're in a cost of living crisis right now, so asking anyone to essentially work for free is a bit tone deaf. I know they're not asking for crazy work, but they're still asking someone to give up their free time to put in labor for something they pay snc to be able to access. It's just a bit icky to me. Either don't charge them the monthly subscription if they're going to mod for you, or pay them. It just kind of strikes me as snc think their fans should be grateful to them for allowing them this opportunity to mod for them, that money shouldn't even be a factor. Idk, maybe I'm being a bit too harsh, but in the economy we're currently in, asking people for free labor while you are raking in hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars a year is gross.

Sorry for this long post, I just felt like I wanted to get it all out, haha.

you're totally fine to vent. i agree with a lot of what you're saying. i think it's ridiculous that snc would think mods should be volunteers and not paid employees.

but to defend snc just a small amount….

snc haven't stated what the "perks" will be of being a mod. so it's possible it's negotiable to ask for a free membership as a mod, if not possibly more. on top of that, now that it has been a day and i'm not as upset as i was, i think the reason snc think this volunteer system is okay is bc when they did a livestream on wednesday, they mentioned getting mods and ppl in the comments started asking to be a mod.

not to mention the amount of ppl that have already applied to be mods. i mean the last time i checked the post (and this was yesterday mind you), there was 50+ comments, and only three of them were critical about this whole thing and one of them was me. so a lot of ppl are fine with being mods without being paid.

that, tied with ppl being on twitch and streamers pick randos from their fandom to be mods, i bet snc think this is the best case scenario and way to go about things.

i would like to believe that it's mostly this, tied with a little bit of snc being cheap lol

and look, personally idc how snc spend their money. they made it, they can do what they want with it. even if i think it's outrageous to spend 10k on clothes in a month. reality is, we're just in a different tax bracket than them. i don't relate to them on that level. and i wouldn't want them to act poor, so to speak. so….. it is what it is.

that being said, they should pay for mods. mods should be ppl not in the fandom. bc even tho snc also stated in the post that there is no amount of time you have to be online and moderating, i know there are some fans that if they do it, will be on 24/7 and will neglect their lives just to be in snc's good graces assumingly. and i think that's where an extra layer of problems lie. the lack of money is an issue, the trusting of fans is an issue, the possible future problems is another, and so on.

it would be better to get rid of chat, impo. but they ain't gonna listen to me lol

[circus-k]

1, 7, 8, 12, 22, 29 and 30 for the ship thingy 🗣🗣

sonlah AND johnic......thas right double whammy,,,.

oh boy!!!!!!!!!!! the blorbo bingies!!

1- What’s their love languages?

sonic's definitely quality time and maybe some acts of service. lah's would probably be like.... gifts but less in a materialistic way and more of a sentimental 'i thought of you' way. johnny would be uhhhhhh... idk you're the johnny expert i'll just steal YOUR hc about him /silly

7- Who is the more romantic one?

100% lah, johnny probably tries but sonic is just like. we're rivals what could be more romantic than that (they all settled into their own flavours of qpr eventually)

8- Do they have any favorite activities to do together?

lah gets sonic into photography and uhh. johnic rival to bf pipeline they still do rival stuff but like..... slash romantic just trust me on this one. they also all just have normal hangout and explore places and even though sonic has probably zipped through every corner of the world actually slowing down and taking the time to enjoy it with his partners is very special to him

and like. between lah being a ghost and johnny being a robot pirate i believe they can go anywhere and everywhere. though if there's boat travel sonic's like. dead. woopsie daisy

12- Who gets up the earliest? Who has the worst sleep schedule? Who is the sleepiest?

johnny's like. part of a crew he definitely gets up early he wakes up with the sunrise and is like !!! woopeee!! lah has like. a vague schedule but su and wu have to basically drag her out of bed so i dub her the sleepiest. and sonic just wakes up and goes to bed whenever. like he's somehow refreshed and ready for whatever but he has NO sleep schedule

22- How do they apologize after arguments?

after a fight sonic silently sits by them and then after ten thousand hours they talk about it and where they were coming from and even if they don't agree they are #1 communicators so cool so awesome

29- What is something they can never agree on? How do they meet in the middle?

idc what happened in rush sonic is TERRIFIED of open water and can hardly be on a boat without going a little crazy. johnny's like. heartbroken cause he's a pirate and also a shark and he loves the water but he also like. understands that he can't just magically have sonic get over his phobia but they have races on land and whatnot or hang out on the beach or maybe. like a really small and shallow area and johnny pinky promises that he won't let anything bad happen to him

for sonlah idk... i mean lah's a little bit evil but like. god forbid women do anything?? i believe in women's wrongs (sonic would try getting lah some healthier hobbies and uhhhhh. she doesn't kidnap ever again <33)

30- Free space! Say something about this ship that you want to say!

sobs my eyes out SONLAH MY BEST FRIEND SONLAH. JOHNIC MY. I DIDNT FIXATE ON YOU BUT JOHNIC YOU ARE SO SO COOL.

i love that we both decided to draw them on 4/4 that's iconic now. johnic anniversary <33

and sonlah.. i'm working on the ship week thing. it's still so silly to me that i like. idk. i have an entire timeline thing post-notw and post-unleashed and it's entirely hc and entirely for the sake of a hedgehog and a ghost falling in love.