#this whole story is just one long geography lesson so far tbh

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 18

(aka the royalty AU story)

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17] [AO3]

Max sat alone in his room, trying to study, but his thoughts just kept going back to Kim. It didn’t help when someone knocked on his door – surely that could only be Kim, coming to see how he was doing? But he opened the door to see Alix there instead.

“Oh hello Alix, come in,” he said, stifling a yawn. Perhaps he really should have taken a nap after all. All this pointless pining was more tiring than it seemed.

Alix entered the room and immediately said, “Dude, I really need your help with something.”

Ah, it was finally happening. Surely she must have realized Kim liked her, and wanted his help with that. Of course. It was only a matter of time.

“Yes, certainly, what is it?”

She leaned on her sceptre, absent-mindedly flicking the lid open and closed. “I’m pretty bad at being a ruler. I have, like, no idea what I’m doing. I mean, yeah I know I’m bad at acting the part and doing all the pointless boring ceremonial stuff, but I don’t really care about that. What I want help with is the actual practical aspects of ruling a country, the stuff that will make a difference. You’re good at that, so uh… could you help me out? Please?”

“Yes, of course,” Max replied, taken aback. This was what she wanted help with? Well… he had underestimated her, alright.

“You look so surprised.”

Whoops. “I just… didn’t realize you…”

“Didn’t realize I cared so much? Well yeah, I try not to. But honestly, the pressure of ruling the most developed country in the world is starting to get to me. I know everyone expects a lot from me and I’ve pretty much already let my family down considering what I’m like, so I’m not doing the same for the rest of my country. They deserve a good leader.”

“I’m sure you haven’t let your family down!”

“Trust me, I have. Even fricking Jalil would have made a better pharaoh than me, everyone thinks it even if they don’t say it.”

Her tone and expression hadn’t changed, but her hand was gripping the sceptre so tightly it was going white. Clearly this was affecting her much more than she let on.

“I’ll help you be a good leader, don’t worry,” Max said. “But really, your powers are mostly ceremonial. You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, the council can just make all the governing decisions for you if you feel you’re not good at it. I’m sure they’d do a good job, considering they’re democratically elected and all. They’ll do what’s best for the people.”

“I don’t want to have to rely on the council to run my country for me, thank you very much. I’ve seen how corrupt other countries can get seriously fast, despite seeming all modern and stable and whatever. I’d rather be properly informed about the direction my country is going in. I don’t want it going backwards just because a bunch of charismatic liars got voted into the council and the monarch did nothing to stop them messing stuff up. That happened once to Rossi, you know.”

Wait, she knew all that? He hadn’t even realized. He always thought she didn’t care about how to rule her country, preferring to just mess around and have fun all the time. Had that just been an act? Or was she simply growing up to be more responsible than she had been in the past?

“You’re right,” he said, “countries can advance or decline very rapidly depending on who’s in charge. I’m proud that you want to be a responsible leader.”

“Do you think my family would be proud too? At least if I tried? They would, wouldn’t they?”

“Of course they would! But even if they wouldn’t, that’s not the end of the world–”

“Yes it is!” She snapped the lid of her sceptre shut so hard it made a loud click. “You’ve always been a good child, really smart and good at everything and always trying hard, your family thinks you’re awesome and to be honest, so does mine, I bet my dad wishes you were his kid instead of me. But all my life I’ve just been really… I don’t know, immature! I want to at least do something to show them that I’m not just some failure, I have to prove myself to them…”

So that was what this was all about. Well, he had something to put her mind at ease.

“Alix, I have to tell you something. During my oracle session with Master Fu, the question I asked was whether the GDP of my kingdom will ever overtake yours while I’m alive. I expected it would, since I’ve got so many plans to boost the economy and that sort of thing, and I didn’t expect you would try that hard with it. But guess what? I was wrong! As long as I live, your country will be ahead of mine. Which means that you will do a good job, no matter what happens.”

Her face lit up. “Wait, are you serious? My country’s economy is going to stay better than yours? But like… you’re Max! You’re so good at that stuff!”

“I know I am. But obviously it seems you’ll be good at it too, at least enough to keep your country going forward for a long while.”

“Yes, nice! That’s so awesome! I mean since you said it’s within your lifetime there’s always the possibility that you’d just die like tomorrow or something but uh… I’ll assume you’re too sensible to suddenly accidentally die. And that I’m gonna rule my country awesomely until then.”

“That’s the spirit. I’ll admit I was a bit jealous when Fu told me. I was annoyed since I didn’t expect you cared or that you would work very hard, so I thought it was unfair, but clearly I’m wrong…”

“Nah it’s cool, I don’t work nearly as hard as I should. But I’ll definitely try harder from now on. So yeah, you’ll tutor me then? How to be an actual good ruler? Don’t worry if you’re busy with tutoring Kim or other kids in the class, it’s okay, but–”

“I’ll definitely tutor you, that’s fine! I enjoy tutoring, actually.”

Alix laughed. “Of course you would. You’re a nerd. Anyway, thanks. If you want in return I’ll see what I can do about getting those annoying trade quotas lifted so your country can make more tech yourselves. I know you hate having to buy it off us all the time.”

“Thank you very much indeed! I’m so glad our countries have such peaceful relations, you know.”

“Well duh.” She poked him in the arm. “We’re best friends, aren’t we?”

“Yes, but I don’t just mean that,” he said, poking her in return. “I mean historically we’ve been peaceful too. Unlike Lê Chiến and Agreste, which might cause trouble for Kim and Adrien one day.”

“But they’re friends, aren’t they? Surely they can sort out whatever rift exists?”

“It might be complicated. If one ascends the throne sooner than the other, leading to one side being friendly while the other is still hostile, it might… well, it might turn into a mess. And I’m not sure Kim would be up for dealing with something like that.”

“That’s why he’s got you,” Alix said, grinning. “You can just advise him through whatever happens, right? It’ll be fine.”

“You seem to have a lot of faith that I’ll be able to fix things.”

“Pfff, it won’t be you who fixes things, it’ll be Kim and Adrien. You can just help, since you and Kim are so close.”

Max felt those longing pangs in his chest again. Yes… he and Kim were so close. Just not exactly in the way he hoped.

That reminded him, shouldn’t he use this as an opportunity to be Kim’s wingman? Perhaps properly getting Kim together with someone else would stop Max yearning after him so much.

“Anyway Alix,” he said, “speaking of futures… have you noticed there’s someone in this class who likes you?”

“Well I should certainly hope there are people who like me, I’m not that scary, am I?”

“I meant in a romantic sense.”

“Oh yeah, but trust me, that girl has someone else she’s crushing on way more than me, even I can tell–”

“And I don’t mean Juleka. I mean someone else.”

“Oh.” Alix frowned, tapping her sceptre thoughtfully. “Are you sure? Because I seriously doubt it.”

“I’m sure.”

“Jeez, it’s not you, is it?”

“Of course not,” Max said, chuckling. “I swear I’ve already told you I’m not into girls, other than friends or occasionally adoptive sisters.”

“Yeah, exactly. Who is it then?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“Oh, okay then, whatever. So anyway – I don’t know what days you’re free for tutoring, I’ve got football on Fridays but other than that I could probably squeeze it in any time…”

She seemed oddly unconcerned. Did she seriously not care that someone liked her? And knowing that was the case, how had she not figured out it was Kim? Practically everyone in the class knew at this point! Either she was just oblivious to a ridiculous extent, or she knew and was pretending not to. Max wasn’t sure which, but he hoped he would find out soon.

The spring dance did turn out to be fairly boring. Every guest who entered the room had to be formally announced by name and title, leading to a long queue outside the door. The music that played was slow and dreary, and the only dancers were couples who had actually been trained in how to perform all these courtly dances – there was no improvising allowed here. Everyone who spoke to each other was being as formal as possible, with curtseying and bowing and addressing people by their full titles, even though usually by this point in the year most of the students hardly ever bothered with such formalities.

Max had insisted on going to get drinks for his friends, leaving Kim and Alix alone before they could protest about it. Kim didn’t know what to do – he couldn’t make a move here, at this boring event, so what was even the point? He looked around, trying to think of something to talk about.

Juleka and Rose were over there, just coming off the dance floor where they had been waltzing together. Evidently both of them must have been taught how to dance at some point in their lives. Neither of them had let go of the other’s hand yet…

“Hey Alix,” Kim said, “just wondering, but is Juleka the chick who asked you out to the autumn ball ages ago?”

“Why don’t you ask her yourself?” she replied. “I’m not spilling anyone’s secrets.”

“I bet it was her. Is it like… common for girls to be into other girls? Before I got to this school I didn’t even know it was a thing.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty common,” Alix said, shrugging. “Being a lesbian or bi or whatever, it’s fine. It’s normal. So is guys who like guys, for that matter. I don’t know why other kingdoms don’t talk about it so much. Probably confuses the heck out of the not-straight part of the population.”

“Yeah, it does,” Kim muttered. “I actually… uh… well, at the winter party I kissed Adrien and got pretty confused because I didn’t realize I liked him. I didn’t even realize it was possible. But yeah, I guess I’m into guys too.”

“Good for you.”

“What does that make me? Does it have a name?”

“Um, I guess it just means you’re bisexual? I don’t know, dude, do some research or something, I can’t say what you are for you.”

Bisexual. Huh. Maybe it would be a good idea to research that at some point. There had to be books in the library about it, right? Or maybe he could ask Max. Max would know everything.

“So, um…” Kim wasn’t sure if he should ask or not, but he was curious. “Are you like… into girls? Just out of interest?”

Alix hesitated long enough for Kim to notice.

“Well no, but…”

“But what?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

It certainly wasn’t nothing, that was for sure, but he didn’t ask anymore. Maybe she just didn’t know or something. Anyway, there was something else he wanted to know more. He walked over to Juleka and Rose.

“Hey Juleka, are you the one who asked out Alix ages ago?”

Juleka looked down, shuffling her feet nervously, mumbling something about it having been practise and that she didn’t really mean it.

“Oh, so are you and Rose sweethearts now?” he asked her, looking between them, since they were still holding hands. Juleka shrugged and mumbled something else, her face going as pink as Rose’s dress.

“Prince Kim,” Rose said, frowning, “you really shouldn’t put poor Juleka on the spot like that, especially not in public! You’re lucky I don’t mind either way, but what if I did? Not everyone is so accepting of things like this! Or what if it embarrasses poor Juleka? Or if she doesn’t want to talk about it? You really ought to think a little before you speak, young man!”

“Sorry,” Kim muttered, wanting to kick himself for being so reckless. He thought he had been getting that under control lately!

“Rose!” Juleka said suddenly, her face even pinker, taking Rose’s other hand into hers as well. “What do you mean by saying you don’t mind either way?”

“Oh, my sweet Juleka! I meant I don’t mind if you think of me as a friend or a sweetheart… I think you’re wonderful either way.”

“But Rose, what about your servant boy Ali from back in Lavillant?”

“I barely even know him! But I know you so well now, you’re my best friend after all!”

Juleka shut her eyes tightly and quickly said, “Princess Rose, will you be my sweetheart?”

“Of course I will! Juleka, you’re so cute, if we weren’t at a formal dance right now I would hug you so hard–”

“Oh Rose, you’re… you’re awesome…”

Grinning, Kim swaggered back over to where Alix was standing, watching with a somewhat amused expression on her face.

“I’m the best matchmaker ever,” Kim boasted. “I just got Juleka and Rose together.”

“It was only a matter of time, Kim,” Alix said, trying not to laugh.

“Oh come on, give me a little credit?”

“Nope, those two were literally on the verge of getting together already, even I noticed it, and I never notice stuff like that!”

Kim laughed, but then realized what that meant. If she never noticed stuff like that, well, she would never notice he liked her unless he made it obvious. But every time he considered it, Chloé’s rejection came to mind and… no. It was too nerve-wracking. Maybe he would do it some other day, just not today.