#this whole shoot is so business/ethereal lol I love it

[love-dive-into-ive]

[differenteagletragedy]

New AU lol, MC is a laaaady

Baxter stood in his bedroom, smoothing out his jacket as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was feeling ... well, he was having a hard time understanding how he was feeling. There was a little bit of apathy, a little bit of dread. Some disappointment, some anger, but buried underneath all of that was just the tiniest little sliver of hope.

He was 18 now, and with adulthood came new responsibilities, his parents often told him. He'd be expected to take over the family business, of course. But more immediately, he'd be expected to marry. Not out of love, nothing as maudlin as that, but to someone his parents chose, someone who could help the family image, and most importantly, open up new avenues for his father's ventures.

His life was being decided for him, but that was nothing new.

As he straightened his tie for the umpteenth time, there was a knock on the door -- one of the servants peeked her head in and announced that his parents were ready for him.

"Thank you," he said softly, shooting a smile at the servant, who smiled back. He'd always made a point to be kind to the people his mother and father had tried to teach him were beneath him, both because he didn't think so and because he desperately wanted to be nothing at all like them.

Baxter made his way through the halls of his childhood home, in no real rush to get down to the dining room. That's where his parents were, dressed in their finest and fully prepared to wine and dine another couple that was almost as rich as they were. And that's where you would be.

"She's a fine girl," his mother had told him before she proceeded to list off your father's investments instead of any of your qualities. He had heard you were beautiful, so at least that was something.

But when he reached his destination and finally saw you for the first time ... well, "beautiful" was such a weak word to describe what he saw in you. You were ethereal.

He took his normal seat at the table -- tonight, it was the one right next to you. At that distance, he could tell that you smelled nice too, and when you smiled at him and shook his hand, he had the fleeting thought that maybe, even if just by accident, his parents had managed to do something nice for him by bringing you into his world.

Despite his initial attraction to you, the dinner was more than a little awkward. You hadn't wanted to talk much, it seemed, and attempts by the older adults to get a conversation started had all failed.

It wasn't until dessert was being served that you leaned over and asked him, just above a whisper, "Can I tell you a secret?"

"You can," he said, unable to hold back a smirk.

"I very much don't want to be here."

You said it so matter-of-factly that he couldn't help but bark out a laugh -- one that he quickly turned to a cough when his mother looked his way. After they went back to their own conversation, he leaned over slightly and said, "Can I tell you a secret of my own?"

"You can."'

"I very much don't want to be here either."

You smiled then -- the first genuine smile of the night. He wanted more.

Baxter made a show of standing up from the table then, and with a deep bow that had you stifling a giggle, he said, "Would you care to accompany me on a walk?"

He held a hand out to you, and when you took it, you curtsied to him -- a full-on actual curtsy. That may have been when he fell in love.

"I would like that quite a lot, sir, thank you," you told him, raising your skirt with your free hand and dipping down again.

His father complimented yours on your manners, but the twinkle in your eye told Baxter that you were being remarkably insincere. If he'd fallen in love before, he was head over heels now.

That night, as you walked through the gardens of his family's estate, you talked to him -- really and truly talked. You talked about your hopes and dreams, your past, how powerless you felt in knowing that your whole life was being decided for you. How nice of a surprise it was that somehow you'd been introduced to someone who knew every bit of how you felt.

It was silly, he knew that on some level. That a few hours with a person wasn't long enough to truly know them or to fall in love, at least not a love that would last for the rest of his life. But with you, he saw those gardens with new eyes. Things that had seemed dull and commonplace before seemed fresh and exciting. Things that had always seemed impossible felt not so out of reach.

At some point, you put your hand back in his. It was warm and comforting, and they fit together perfectly.

"Could I ask you a question?" Baxter said, pausing the walk to move to stand in front of you.

"You could."

"Do you believe in fate?"

By then, he'd seen you smile several times, but at his question, you positively beamed.

"I do," you answered. "And you?"

Matching your expression, he stepped closer to you, moving to place your hand on his shoulder as he put his own on your waist. You brought your other hand up to the back of his neck, toying with the strands of hair there.

"I do."

[sameheart-sameblood]

Live While We’re Alive

(gif by @rex-is-best)

pairing: commander wolffe x f!reader

summary: you thought being a newly recruited civilian doctor to the GAR was hard enough until you developed a hopeless crush on Commander Wolffe

words: 2.8 k

warnings: mature, some suggestive talk, mutual pining, medical exams, co-workers to lovers, a doctor having inappropriate thoughts about their patient 

a/n: I started writing this awhile ago and then lost all creative motivation but I've been in a Wolffe mood the past few days and sad we didn't get to see him in The Bad Batch so here we are. I'd like to apologize to my doctor dad and all medical professionals everywhere lol. Also, I had intended for this to end in smut but then got lost in feelings so there mayyyy be a chapter 2. We'll see ;)

read on ao3!

You want to fuck him. It’s been decided. This realization couldn’t have come at a worse time, though. You’re surrounded by Jedi and Clone Officers in a very important meeting detailing your next mission. But you only have eyes for one of the men and he’s currently standing at the head of the room giving a briefing to the holo of Master Yoda. It’s a testament to Commander Wolffe’s presence that you barely notice the little green Jedi Master he’s conversing with. Well, his presence and his extreme handsomeness.

When you’d first met him, you’d been truly intimidated. The other women you worked with nodded in understanding, whispering they had been thrown off by his cybernetic eye and prominent scar. But that wasn’t it. You’d noticed those things, but that wasn’t what made you uneasy.

It was the fact that he took one look at you and seemed to see right into your soul. You couldn’t explain it but you felt like with just a glance, he could tell your deepest insecurities. And stars, did you have a lot of those.

You had worked your way up through the medical field and had started your residency at the biggest hospital in Coruscant. After your training ended, you had secured a permanent job there. It had been difficult, to say the least. Though you knew you were qualified, even more so than most of your male co-workers, you still doubted yourself often.

Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi had come to visit you one nondescript Thursday afternoon, telling you of the need for doctors in the GAR. He said you came most highly recommended when he was searching for recruits but still, you thought a mistake had been made and that someone soon would realize and send you back to your normal life. It was a recurring nightmare you’d developed in the past few weeks that shook you from your sleep.

You had agreed to join the GAR, sympathetic to the cause and wanting to do your part. The next few weeks had consisted of you getting your bearings and meeting the rest of the staff at the base . Kix, the clone medic in charge, had helped you learn the ropes and had introduced you to all his brothers. At first, you had been overwhelmed by the sea of identical faces. As the weeks had gone on, you’d learned everyone’s names and they’d made you feel welcome, like one of their own.

The Commander and you had crossed paths several times. He was polite but distant. Not like you blamed him. He had more important things to do than exchange drawn out pleasantries. With each run-in, though, he seemed to be making more of an effort to be personable. Unfortunately, each conversation left you looking more and more like an idiot. Or a di’kut. The boys had been teaching you some Mando’a.

You were a medical professional, a well-respected doctor and yet Wolffe made you feel unsure of yourself. It had been so long since you’d had a crush that you didn’t realize this was what the beginning of one felt like.

*******

As you sit around the war room table, you feel even more like a school girl. Instead of paying attention to whatever Master Yoda is saying, you’re transfixed by Wolffe’s face. The hazy blue light from the holo reflects off his features, making him look ethereal. His scar looks even more prominent and you blush, remembering how often you’ve wondered what it would feel like to let your fingers trace it.   And his lips. They’re moving, responding to whatever the Jedi has said. They’re mesmerizing and now you’re thinking of what it would be like to kiss him. Or even better yet, to have those lips pressed against the plushier parts of your body.

You continue to stare until you realize his face has turned to you. It probably only takes you a second to come back to reality but it feels like an eternity. Somehow you’re able to respond to the question.

“Yes, Commander. All medical personnel are prepared for an 0800 liftoff. Kix will take his team with the 501st and I’ll have my staff along with the 104th. We’ll reconnoiter once we’ve landed on Hisseen.” The rest of the table nods, moving the conversation along. Wolffe stares at you for a moment, a hint of a smirk on his lips. You avert your gaze, finding the table a much safer object of your attention.

The discussion wraps up and Wolffe stands at attention, puffing his chest out, before Master Yoda disappears. Once again, your eyes are drawn to him. You’re not sure how but he makes something so mundane look indescribably attractive. Wolffe’s head turns in your direction but you’ve already bolted from your seat, hoping to cool down in the hallway.

Kix pushes through the crowd to get to you. “Hey, Doc. How’d the meeting go?” You shrug. “Nothing new to report. Just making sure we’re all set for our campaign.” He’s shifting back and forth, a sort of glazed look in his eyes. You realize he’s not paying particularly close attention. It’s the look of someone asking you something just so they can request a favor in return.

“Hmm oh yeah, that’s nice. Say, Doc, do you think you could cover for me for a few hours? I have some urgent business to attend to.”

“Since when is playing Sabacc with Fives and the boys urgent?”

“Since I remembered how terrible they are at it. I can make a real killing playing against them.”

You laugh. It’s true. You’ve come to love those men but a lot of them are really horrible at the game. You’ll need to give them a remedial course if you have any downtime on Hisseen. “Of course. What do you need me to do?” He rewards you with a huge grin. “Nothing hard! A few higher ups coming in for their physicals. Just the usual. Make sure they’re in tip top shape to get shot at by some tinnies.”

He gives you the list. It’s only a handful of men but the last one on it makes your blood go cold. “Commander Wolffe needs a physical?” Kix is oblivious to your inner turmoil. “Oh yeah, but he knows the drill. Honestly everyone can do it themselves at this point. We’re basically there to oversee it as a formality.”

You swallow down your apprehension and nod. “Sounds easy enough. Go have fun. And take it easy on them, will ya? Let them keep a little of their dignity intact” Kix just grins and shoots you a wave as he runs off.

*******

Your first few appointments go just fine. The officers are professionals and Kix was right, they could do these routine physicals with their eyes closed. You give them all your seal of approval and settle in to do your paperwork before your last, most anticipated patient arrives. The forms in front of you hold no interest and you find yourself checking the chrono every few seconds.

It’s not easy but you manage to finish your work. You set it aside and take steadying breath. Five more minutes and he’ll be here. You scold yourself. The Commander has never been anything but professional. You’re the one thinking these very unprofessional thoughts.

And you’re a doctor, for kriff’s sake. Your patients should be able to come to you without worrying you may be fantasizing about what they look like naked. But these are uncharted waters. It’s your first time having to deal with a patient you’re this attracted to. They really should take your medical license away.

Just as you’re thinking of packing it all up and handing in your resignation to the Jedi Council, a knock at the door snaps you to attention. Well, here goes nothing. You scold yourself once again for checking your reflection in the mirror before answering the door.

You had tried to adopt a passive, professional look to your face before greeting Wolffe but it must not have worked. “Everything alright, Doc? I’m not early, am I?” You shake your head.“Not at all. Punctual as always, Commander.” You beckon for him to come in and take a seat. You close the door, then sit across from him at your desk.

Your datapad hums to life and you busy yourself opening the appropriate forms you need to fill out. The weight of his eyes is heavy on you and your cheeks heat up in spite of yourself. You push on through as best you can.

“Well, Commander, how are you feeling today?” There’s that ghost of a smirk again but it vanishes so quickly you're not sure if you imagined it. “I feel like a million credits.” You giggle despite it not even being that funny. You’ve got it bad. “Glad to hear it. This should be quick then.” You gather your equipment and get to work.

First, you take his weight. Then, you listen to his heart. You press the stethoscope to his sternum, thankful you can do this over his blacks. He observes you the whole time. “And what about you? How are you today, Doc?” You risk a glance and meet his eyes. That was a mistake.

“Me? Oh-um just fine. Maybe not like a million credits but a few hundred at least.” You trail off dumbly but he humors you with a chuckle. You’re not sure you’ve ever heard that sound from him before. It’s like music to your ears. “Anything I can do to help? You do look a little flushed. Are you sure you don’t have a fever?” You avert your eyes again.

“No. I’m alright. It’s just, uh, hot in these uniforms. The coarseweave doesn’t breathe.”

“You sure? Maybe I should be the one giving you a check-up.”

You realize he’s toying with you now.

“That won’t be necessary, Commander.”

You move on to check his lungs. “Breathe in for me.” You move the stethoscope to his chest, then move it around a few different spots on his back. “You can call me, Wolffe. If you’d like.” He breathes in every time, not even needing prompting, ever the dutiful soldier, even when he’s teasing you.

“I would like that. Thank you, Wolffe.”

Next, you measure his blood pressure. You’re shocked that it’s so low. He sees the look of surprise on your face. “Something wrong?”

“Not at all. The opposite, in fact. Your pressures are great. I just thought with your lifestyle they might, understandably, be a bit higher.”

“What kind of lifestyle do you think I have?”

You’re backtracking as quickly as you can. “I just meant, your life as a soldier, it must be extremely stressful.”

There’s that smirk again. “It is. But you don’t get to be a Commander by not being able to handle the pressure.”

“Of course. But even so, if you’d like some stress relief techniques I can suggest some.” He hums as if really thinking it over. Thankfully there’s only one part of your exam left. Which is good because you’re not sure how much resolve you have remaining.

“Everything looks great. I’ll just do a head and neck exam and then I can send you on your way.”

You need to touch him for this part but you stop yourself, hands hovering but not quite meeting their destination. You feel like once you touch him, really feel his skin under your fingers, there may be no going back.

Wolffe sees your hesitation, then slowly reaches out to take your hands. You watch with wide eyes as he guides them to his neck. He looks up at you innocently enough but you can tell he’s laughing internally. You try to reign in control of the situation.

“Sorry, I just got distracted.” The Commander studies you but this time it’s in earnest. “Are you nervous? This’ll be your first time in an active war zone, right?” You had been anxious but not about that. But now that he mentions it, yeah, you honestly don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.

“Yes, I’m not sure what to expect. I guess you could say I’m a little scared.” Wolffe gently holds your chin, directing you to look back at him. “I won’t lie. It’ll be overwhelming and frightening. Battles can seem never-ending. But I promise I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You’re staring into each other’s eyes and you don’t want to stop. But then he’s clearing his throat and gently removing his hand from your skin. You realize you’ve been resting your own hands on his shoulders this whole time. “Thank you, Wolffe. I do feel much better knowing you’ll be there.” You offer him a smile, hoping it conveys just how much you appreciate him looking out for you.

You begin your exam, gently kneading where his neck meets his shoulders, checking for any anomalies. Then you move to his throat. The throat you’ve so often been distracted by. It’s featured prominently in your daydreams. You move your hands along it, under his jawline. Having a man this powerful baring one of the most vulnerable parts of his body to you is intoxicating. Focus, di’kut.

Everything feels normal except for some knots you find resting right below the surface of his smooth skin. “Lymph nodes feel good. You’re a little tense, though. But I bet it’s from that bucket you have to wear most of the day.” He hums in thought. “True. But even so. Maybe you could give me some of those ideas for stress management?” He looks up at you with big eyes. There’s mischief in them but something else. Vulnerability?

You gulp audibly. “Of course. There are a few that work particularly well, um, like deep breathing techniques, going on walks, talking with friends, meditation, journaling, physical activity…” You’re rambling, fighting a losing game against your resolve. Wolffe thinks on it. “Physical activity seems like a good place to start.” His hands come up to gently cover yours that are still resting on his neck.

The sensation of his calloused fingers on your skin sends shivers down your body. You close your eyes, feeling the last of your self-control topple over. “Wolffe,” you whine “We shouldn’t…” He immediately drops his hands, worry etched on his face. “I’m so sorry. It’s just- I thought you wanted-.” He cuts himself off, snapping up to his feet and to attention. “Doctor, you should report me to General Plo Koon for immediate disciplinary action.”

Dank Farrik, you’ve just ruined everything.“Wolffe! No, I’m not reporting you to anyone. If anything you should report me for being so unprofessional.” His shoulders relax a bit but he still eyes you as if you’re a live grenade that might explode at any second. “What do you mean?” You sigh in frustration. This isn’t how you wanted to confess your feelings to him.

“I…want you, Wolffe. The second I realized that I should have asked to be re-assigned to a different battalion. Instead I thought I could push those feelings down and continue to do my job. Looks like that was a mistake.” You hang your head, avoiding his piercing gaze. He’s silent for just a moment but it feels like an eternity.

“So, you want me and I want you?” You nod your head, ashamed, as he continues. “Then what’s the problem, Doc?” Your eyes snap to his, not believing what you’re hearing.

“Isn’t it wrong of us?”

Wolffe sits down on the exam table again, genuinely thinking on it. “I don’t see why. We’re both consenting adults. We don’t work directly with each other- I report to General Koon, you report to General Kenobi- so there’s no real conflict of interest. The worst we’ll face is a little ribbing from the boys if they find out.”

You raise your head to look him in the eyes, needing to make sure he’s serious and that this isn’t some twisted joke. What you find staring back at you is hope and promise. He senses your trepidation and gently takes your hands in his. “I’m sorry if I came on strong. But the thing about this life is that there are no guarantees. Tomorrow isn’t promised and so I figured I’d rather go for something, someone, that I want and have my heart broken rather than regretting my inaction.”

Your eyes roam the scars on his face, evidence of just how true his words are. You’re heading into active battle tomorrow. One or both of you could be injured, or worse. You step towards him. He spreads his legs so you have room to get closer. You rest your forehead on his, breathing him in.

His hands come up to caress your sides. You take a shaky breath. He questions you softly. “Cyar’ika?” Ah, now that’s one of the new words you definitely remember. His vulnerability makes you ache and the decision to hand your heart over is an easy one. “You’re right, Wolffe. Might as well do some living while we can.”

*******

[pixiegrl]

hi em! 💖 no. 2 of the dialogue starter at an art gallery with cake? (or any pairing that you think it fits actually)

Shal! Hi! This was so fun getting to write about Cake. It ended up turning into museum instead of art gallery, but I was feeling nostalgic and was thinking about the time my friend and I went to the MFA so Luke and Calum went on a date to the MFA. (im Luke lol). I hope you enjoy it!

It’s also on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26578555

Calum wakes up to Luke shaking him awake. Calum pretends to be asleep for a little longer, if only to hear Luke huff fondly and lean down to kiss him awake. Calum grins into the kiss, leaning into it and tugging at the back of Luke’s neck to pull him closer. 

“Cal, that’s cheating,” Luke whines, but he returns the kiss with enthusiasm, grinning against his lips until he remembers the reason he was trying to wake Calum up so early.

“Cal, you’re distracting me.”

“Can’t we just stay in bed?” 

“We have a whole plan for today,” Luke whines, tugging on Calum’s hand to get him out of bed. Luke has a point. It’s rare they get a day off, especially on tour. They’re staying in Boston and Luke has been excited to go to the art museum here. It’s a date, just the two of them, even rarer than a day off is. Luke has been talking animatedly about their date for the last week, pouring over the museum’s website, trying to find the optimal day to visit. Calum doesn’t mind one way or another. As long as he gets to spend the day with his boyfriend, he doesn’t care where they go.

Luke’s already up and out of the bed, rummaging around in his suitcase for something to put on. He looks soft in the morning light streaming in through the curtains, all blonde and tousled curls and sleep-soft skin. Luke stands up, clutching his shirt and leather pants close to his chest. Calum sits up, beckoning Luke over to press another soft kiss to his lips. 

Luke giggles. “What was that for?”

“Just wanted to say I love you.” Calum shrugs. Luke giggles again, shaking his head, and heading into the bathroom. Luke always makes Calum a little weak, as ethereal and lovely as he is. Calum is still a little dazed that Luke loves him, wants to be with him too. Luke with his golden heart and voice, who’s special and wonderful, thinks that Calum is just as magical and charming. Michael says it’s disgusting how cute they are, but Calum doesn’t mind if it means he gets to give Luke kisses and see him blush.

Calum gets up out of bed, checking the weather on his phone and pulling out what he thinks is probably an appropriate shirt and jeans for the brisk May day. He’s just finished putting on his boots when Luke breezes out of the bathroom, tucking the ends of his shirt into his pants. He looks up at Calum, grinning brightly when they make eye contact. He presses a kiss to the corner of Calum’s mouth as he brushes by and bends down to grab his boots. Calum takes his turn in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face, fluffing his curls until Luke starts knocking impatiently on the door, like he’s not the worst offender of taking forever to fix his hair.

Luke already has his jacket on when Calum opens the door, bouncing excitedly on the heels of his boots.

“Are you finally ready?” 

“I’m not the one who had to fix his hair in the mirror and put on all his rings,” Calum teases, just to see Luke smile and flush. He grabs Calum’s hand, lacing their fingers together as he tugs him out the door. 

The trek from their hotel to the museum isn’t far. Luke hums the whole way, swinging their linked hands between them as he goes. There’s a gentle breeze, blowing Luke’s curls around his face and Calum isn’t sure he could describe how in love with him he is at the moment. 

“What are you thinking about? You look pensive.” 

Calum shrugs. “Just wondering what your plan for the day is. You spent all that time online; it seemed like you had an idea.” 

“The Impressionist exhibit. It’s got all the flowers and water scenes. The ballerinas. It’s so dreamy. I wanna see that wing. More exciting than the Revolutionary paintings.” 

“What, you don’t wanna look at pictures of dead white guys in wigs?” Calum teases, bumping shoulders with Luke when he shoots Cal a horrified expression. 

“Don’t even joke, Cal. Not when there’s art on the line.” 

Calum holds his hands up in mock surrender, grinning when Luke sticks his tongue out at him. They pass by some local coffee shop and Calum pulls them in, ordering them both coffees and a muffin to eat while walking. Calum likes this Luke best, the one who shoves the too big end of a blueberry muffin in his mouth, blushing when Calum laughs at how silly he looks with his cheeks puffed out. This Luke is uninhibited, unafraid of what he looks like to other people. It’s rare to catch him like this, but it’s a gift when he is. He swallows the bite, blushing harder when Calum leans over and presses a quick kiss to his lips.

“What was that for?”

“You looked cute. Thought you deserved a kiss.”

Luke ducks his head, failing to hide his grin. Calum turns, busying himself with drinking his coffee. Luke presses a quick kiss to Calum’s cheek, turning away just as quickly to stare straight ahead. Calum smiles, sappy, soft, and in love. 

They continue their walk to the museum, Luke getting visibly more excited the closer they get. He’s fully bouncing on the balls of his feet by the time it comes into view, tugging on Calum’s hand to get him to speed up. Calum laughs, letting Luke practically drag him up the steps of the museum. Calum stops when he sees the statues out front, giant stone baby heads.

“Luke, what the fuck are those?” Calum asks, laughing as he points at them. Luke makes a face when he sees them, visibly distrubed. Calum laughs even harder at that, letting Luke tug him up the steps. Other patrons keep shooting them looks but Calum can’t be bothered, too focused on the look of determination and elation on Luke’s face.

Luke buys their tickets, grabbing a map as they leave the front desk. He stares intensely at it before turning to Calum.

“Cal, I have no fucking clue where to go.”

Calum takes the map from him, turning it until it’s lined up with where they are and pointing them in the direction of where they should go. He takes them up the back staircase to the third floor, realizes it’s the wrong floor, and takes them back down before recognizing that this is a different staircase and he’s not sure where they are. Luke huffs, taking the map from Calum and proceeding to get them even more lost going back up yet another staircase. 

One of the museum guards must take pity on them, watching them go in yet another lap around the floor for the third time, each pointing in opposite directions of where they should go. She comes over to them, asking them where they’re trying to go. She manages to point them in the direction of the correct staircase to the floor they’re looking for and Luke thanks her profusely, tugging Calum off in that direction. He takes the stairs two at a time, bursting through the door and dragging Calum through the wing.

“Don’t you want to stop and see the other stuff?” Calum asks, grinning cheekily and pointing at some Revolutionary War painting. Luke hums.

“Yeah, yeah it’s another painting of a white dude in a bad wig,” Luke says dismissively as he speedwalks through the maze of exhibits until the edge of some ballerina statue comes into view.

Luke barely manages to keep himself from running across the museum floor into the room. He comes to a stop in front of the ballerina, mouth open in a soft “o” of wonder as he looks at her. Calum figures he should be looking at the art, but he can’t tear his eyes away from Luke’s face, full of reverence and joy standing there. Luke stares at the statue for a few more moments until he tugs Calum over to a painting of more ballerinas. He starts reading the little plaque out loud, rambling on about Degas and ballet and the meaning of the painting. Calum continues to stare at him, talking animatedly and enraptured by the painting.

“Did you just hear a word I said?” Luke asks, turning to Calum, huffing exasperatedly. 

“Too busy looking at you and how happy you are,” Calum answers honestly. Luke blushes bright red, ducking his head.

“You’re cheesy.”

“Only for you, sweetheart.” 

“We’re here for the art, Calum.”

“You are art. Besides, you’re much more interesting than any museum plaque.”

Luke blushes, burying his face into Calum’s shoulder. “You’re not allowed to be cute in the museum right now. I can’t take it.”

“Too bad, you’re already the cutest thing in this museum. They should make a statue of you.”

Luke whines, smacking him again, “You’re a menace.”

Calum laughs loudly, Luke smacking and shushing him again when people look over at them. They walk around the wing a few more times, Luke staring intensely at each painting and plaque, pouring over each one. Eventually Calum sits down on one of the benches, waiting until Luke is satisfied with his viewing and comes to sit down next to him. They sit there for a while, Luke still looking around, Calum looking at Luke.

Luke sits up straight, turning to Calum. “Ready to go?”

Calum nods and stands, taking Luke’s hand and they make their way back down to the ground floor. They stop at the gift shop and Calum buys Luke a handful of postcards of the art they’ve seen. Luke protests, but Calum insists that it’s important to remember the day.

They make their way back to the hotel, Calum checking messages from Ashton and Michael while Luke giggles along to the messages Calum reads out loud. They stop at the coffee shop again, this time grabbing sandwiches to go with their coffee. They sit down at a table off in the corner, wrapping their feet together under the table as they eat.

“Thanks for going with me,” Luke says. Calum smiles, reaching over to lace their fingers together.

“Of course, sweetheart. I just love spending time with you, making you happy. I’m glad we got to have this date.” Calum lifts Luke’s hand up, kissing the back of it. Luke giggles, glowing in the light coming in through the cafe windows. Calum loves their jobs, loves the band, but sometimes he loves this more, getting to spend these private, quiet moments with Luke, happy and in love.

[udunie]

Okay, you guys, here’s the part of the Gerard fic that I love (it goes on to a sex scene that I don’t like, cause it doesn’t seem to fit the tone of this part)

Warning for: prostitution, drug abuse, addiction, generally heavy themes

Also, this is basically not edited or betaed at this point, I just want to pick your brains about how to go on with this, cause I feel like ‘monster cock and fake tits’ isn’t the way to go... Please let me know what you think :D

ETA: wow love it when tumblr fucks shit up, anyway, fixed now lol

***

Stiles was just a month or two over eighteen when his dad died. He didn’t like to think about it. Or all the things that happened after. It was like whatever self control he ever had was buried with his dad, leaving him destined to make one bad decision after the other.

Stiles just wanted to forget. Preferably everything; not going to college, not being able to pay his dad’s medical bills, being forced to sell the house, living in his jeep and turning tricks on occasion to survive… He just wanted to escape it all.

First there was the drinking and the weed, and when those were not enough anymore to get him through the day, he tried other things… ecstasy, cocaine, whatever. With his ADHD, drugs didn’t always work as they were supposed to. Sometimes a little too well, sometimes not at all, or in ways he didn’t enjoy. Nothing really stuck.

It was exactly on his nineteenth birthday when he met Kate. 

“Want to try something new?” she asked, slithering up to him in the club. Stiles saw her around before, he knew she was selling something, though never really checked to see what. Lately he didn’t have the cash to get anything serious. “You look like you could use a little pick-me-up. You’re cute, so I’ll let you have one on the house.”

Stiles was a bit drunk and a bit high and very stupid.

“Wha’s it?” he asked, voice slurring a bit. 

“Silver Bullet,” she said, holding up a pill. It reflected the strobe lights weirdly. “It will shoot all your troubles dead, baby. That’s a guarantee.”

Stiles popped it into his mouth without hesitation, chasing the bitter taste down with the vodka tonic he managed to flirt out of someone.

And the rest was history.

***

Silver Bullet wasn’t like anything he ever tried before. For one, it worked; getting him high and happy and horny every fucking time. He wasn’t hungry, he wasn’t tired or cold or lonely when he took it. Everything was fun and easy and sexy. It felt like being in love with every single person around him. 

At first, it was easy. Almost too easy. He took a pill and felt like he wanted to make love to the world. He picked up a few johns, had sex that felt way better than it had any right to be and by the time he crashed, he had the money for the next few pills. 

Even when he was sleeping, he dreamed about them, about having a whole palmful of those pretty, white pills. Even in his dreams, he could see the tiny, metallic looking particles in them. When he asked about it, Kate said that was the magic and he believed her. Stiles couldn’t imagine going for a day without.

Then Kate raised the price. Then she raised it again. And again. ‘Welcome to the free market, where demand sets the price’ she told him, laughing. He tried to look around for another dealer, but nobody was selling Silver Bullet, they all told him to fuck off if he even just asked about it.

It only took a month for him to start begging her. He sold the jeep, he sold his parents’ wedding rings, he had nothing more to give.

“I will do anything, Kate, please,” Stiles told her. The music was too loud in the club, and the lights too blinding and the shadows too deep. For a second, he thought about just… taking the little tin box of pills he knew she had on her with force, but it was a struggle to even hold himself upright. He was always so tired when he went too long without it.

She leaned back against the wall. Stiles wondered if her smile was always that cruel.

“Hm… Anything?”

“Anything, whatever you want, I will do it,” he said, the words rushing out of him. 

“Tell me I’m beautiful,” she said, fluttering her lashes. 

Stiles remembered seeing her through the haze of the drug. She’d looked like an ethereal being, like an honest-to-god angel.

“You… you are beautiful, you are the most beautiful woman in the world, I’ve never se-”

“Am I prettier than your mommy was?” she cut in.

She was standing so close, Stiles could almost taste the pill burning his tongue.

“Yes. Yes, you are, so much prettier,” he croaked, mouth dry.

She laughed, loud and harsh.

“Unfortunately, baby, flattery won’t get you anywhere,” she said. Stiles wanted to cry. “This is a family business, you know? What sort of a girl would cut her father’s profits?”

Stiles felt shaky and like he was about to throw up. He must have looked miserable, because Kate gave him a long, calculating look.

“But you know what? I can take you to meet him. Maybe you can dazzle him with your… talents.”

Kate was really the most beautiful woman in the world.

***

He was shaking during the whole car ride. He hadn’t had a high in three days, and he felt like he was about to die. Kate made him lie down, his head on her lap, and she stroked his hair, nails too sharp as they scratched against his scalp. The man driving the car - her brother, Stiles thought - gave him a few disgusted looks in the rearview mirror, but Stiles couldn’t care less.

He was going to meet Kate’s dad and fuck him and get high and everything would be fine.

Kate’s father lived in a huge house surrounded by a park and iron gates. It was like something out of a movie, but he was way too anxious to really appretiate it even as Kate led him inside. There was a double staircase in the entrance hall, and Stiles was told to wait there.

The place was big enough that he thought there should be an army of servants around, but everything was strangely silent. Stiles tried not to stare too much. All he could think about was getting his pills. Or maybe stealing something and pawning it off so he could get cash. But… Kate probably wouldn’t sell to him if he did that, right? It was hard to think with his whole body numb with need.

He spaced out instead, staring into mid distance, imagining how good it will be to get his pill and feel alive again. Stiles had no idea how long he just stood there until he finally heard Kate calling him from the top of the stairs. She sounded annoyed.

“Get your ass up here,” she bit out when she finally had his attention. “You don’t want to get him in a bad mood.”

Stiles didn’t. He ran up to her, not daring to touch the polished railing.

“Fuck, sorry,” he said, but she already turned her back, leading him to a set of tall double-doors. 

“Daddy,” she said, pushing them open. She sounded very different than when she was talking to Stiles. “Here he is.”

Kate’s father was an old, old man with short, white hair and a stern face that had Stiles shifting from foot to foot with nerves. He was lounging on a sofa in pajamas and a brocade house coat. His eyes were cold enough to make him shiver where he stood.

“Stiles, this is my father, Gerard. Daddy, this is the boy I’ve told you so much about.”

Stiles doubted that random junkies were a regular topic at the family dinner, but he didn’t say anything. He had a goal in mind, and Gerard didn’t look like he enjoyed people mouthing off.

The old man looked him over, like he was a piece of gum stuck on the sole of his shoe.

“Strip.”

Stiles swallowed, glancing quickly at Kate. She nodded her head at him, smiling in a way that made him second guess himself.

“Go on, baby, try to make a good impression.”

Stiles licked his lips, and got to it. He felt stupid and weird with her watching him undress for her father. Without the warmth of drugs in him, he was acutely aware of how boney and pale and… ugly he was.

When he was finished, he just stood there, eyes glued to a spot over Gerard’s shoulder, wanting to cover himself but knowing that he shouldn’t. 

“Don’t you like him, daddy?” Kate asked, sounding like she was pouting, but Stiles didn’t dare look at her again.

“I would have preferred a girl. You know that,” Gerard said. Stiles would have pissed himself if that much disdain was directed at him, but Kate just laughed, her voice sweet and light.

“But I don’t want to have a little sister or brother,” she said, teasing. “Chris is enough of a headache.”

Gerard barked out a laugh, sitting up straight.

“Damned right he is. Fine.” He picked up a shiny, darkwood box from the side table, opening it in his lap. It was lined with dark green velvet and there was an injection needle in it. It looked like it was antique, with little rings at the end of the crossbars. Beside it was a corked vial, filled with something that glittered like mercury, though lighter in color.

“Come here and get on your knees,” Gerard told him, not even glancing at Stiles. He clearly expected to be obeyed.

“I… What… what is that?” Stiles asked, watching him stab the needle through the cork and pulling some of the liquid into the syringe.

Gerard looked at him.

Stiles made the mistake of meeting his gaze.

Suddenly Kate was behind him, her breasts pressing into his naked back. 

“That’s the good stuff, baby. That’s the real Silver Bullet right there, the same one you love so much, just a thousand times better,” she whispered in his ear. “And if you want it, you better be a good boy.”

Stiles couldn’t take his eyes off the syringe. Just the mention of the drug made all his cravings rush back tenfold. He wanted it. He wanted to feel it so bad.

He dropped on his knees in front of Gerard without any more hesitation. He didn’t like needles, and he didn’t like him, but he wanted… He needed the high.

Stiles didn’t expect to be backhanded hard enough to make his ears start ringing. There was a dizzying moment when he forgot where he was or why. Gerard grabbed his jaw, his fingers biting into him.

“When I give an order, I expect you to follow, is that understood?” he asked, sneering into his face from up close. 

Stiles whined. His right cheek was burning. It would probably bruise… But it wasn’t even close to being the worst thing he ever got just to get high.

The man stared into his eyes for a long moment, maybe waiting for him to put up a fight, but all Stiles wanted was the Silver Bullet. 

“Good,” he said finally, patting his face where it hurt. “Open your mouth.”

Stiles did.

Gerard trapped his tongue between his knuckles and pulled it outward and to the side. His fingers tasted salty and a bit bitter.

“This way, it will get right to your head,” he commented, Stiles closed his eyes as he saw the syringe getting closer. He just wanted to be alive again. “Don’t move.”

Gerard injected him at the base of his tongue. There was a sharp bite of pain that made him suck in a breath. He could feel his mouth flood with saliva.

And then…

Stiles remembered how happy he was back when he was just a kid and his mom bought him exploding candy. It was sweet and sour and like he had a little firework going off in his mouth. This was like that, but he could feel it in his head, his skull was filled with exploding candy, popping and popping and throwing sparks of flavors and colors and shapes and smells in every direction, every nerve in his body sizzling and popping and popping… The world was suddenly and inexplicably beautiful. 

Everything was so pretty and bright and pleasurable that it almost hurt. 

He could feel his hips pumping into the air, body convulsing like it was caught in an orgasm that just didn’t want to end. There were still fingers in his mouth and he moaned, licking and sucking at them eagerly. He felt like he was a flame, radiating pleasure and everything around him reflected it back, just amplifying it even more until he was drowning in light.

***

“What a nasty little slut,” Gerard said, letting the boy kneeling in front of him suckle on his fingers, slurping around his knuckles like he was trying to give the blowjob of his life. His eyes were glazed over and he was twitching almost alarmingly. “It’s been… what? Forty seconds? And he already came twice.”

Kate laughed, leaning against the doorframe.

“You like him, don’t you?” she asked, crossing her arms.

Gerard did, but he didn’t want Kate to know. The girl had to learn to do better, even if she managed to do an adequate job with this one.

“Should have been a girl,” Gerard reminded her, pushing his fingers in as deep as they could go, nudging the boy’s tonsils. He didn’t gag, but his eyes did roll back. Ah, and he was coming. Again. “But I will take it.”

[otsenasportfolio]

I’d have a Picture but...

WORD ASSOCIATION DESCRIBING THE GAME:  colours influencing emotions, atmospheric, music, tranquilizing, tranquility, colourful, bright, moody, choir, surreal, fantasy, history, message?, beauty, peace, transition, change, evolution, nature, architecture, industrial, fish, shark, death, resurrection, friendship, bonding, spirituality, pray, mediating, Sumerian, Mesopotamia ( funny how you just look up one word and suddenly you realize you need to research more! I’m so excited to research the stories, culture, social norms, etc of the Sumerianians! It might just answer more questions about this game....), Egyptian feeling (but again because it’s Sumeranian...the earliest civilization that existed...) 

So let’s do the important thing first: research! 

First take away:

Sumerians were very well known for their innovative ways, bonus points given to them for having very few resources unlike their time-line neighbours the Egyptians were far richer. 

Sumerians worshipped hundreds of gods (this actually makes me wonder WHY we as human beings just began to worship so called Gods? HOW did we come up with this idea that there are larger forces than us and that we must worship them? Is this imbedded in the human DNA? If the Sumerians (the FIRST civilization!) were worshipping gods...then this idea of ‘a bigger force out there’ is just as old as time.  What’s interesting is that they believed that there were MAJOR gods and less major/smaller gods. They worshipped the MAJOR gods by worshipping the smaller gods, believing that the smaller ones will pass the prayers/worship to the bigger gods. 

Now let’s do some research on the very word used for this game ‘ ABZU ‘  Abzu or Apsû , is the name of fresh and pure water from the underground. The Sumerians believed that this water was what filled the lakes, the rivers, the ponds, and whatever other bodies of water on the surface.

The Abzu is what they believed to be an ancient sea underground that is deep, deep underground, past the underworld. 

Abzu’s were also tanks of ‘holy water’ in Babylonian temples which were used for rituals, which mean sthe water is possibly the most pure. 

“ABZU - I’m just going to write down the first thoughts that came to mind..while a little intoxicated and very tired. I’ll definitely be re-reading this again, lol. 

This is a gorgeous game, hands-down one of the most visually appealing games I’ve ever played. The use of colours enhance the experience of emotion and atmosphere. 

The graphics are so unique, for instance the character you play as isn’t entirely round. She/He/It is shaped by numerous geometrical shapes and angles but they are still so 3D you don’t notice how block-like their body is.  The music is so calming and nostalgic, Wintory did an amazing job at creating atmosphere within the msuci. As all games should be, the music should be an addition to the world that you see and interact with. It shouldnm’t take the spotlight and throw you off (unless it’s a horror game) and it shouldn’t be so dull that it wouldn’t make a difference if you muted it. The music of ABZU just adds..more to the game. It’s immersive and cinematic and it helps tell the story of this game..

The style of narration of this game is so, so cool (lack of better terms for now oops!). There is no script (other than the events) in this game. No dialogue other than the game telling you objectives/actions.... No one speaks in this world. Everyhting is just communicated through actions. 

For instance, there are these two little robo buddies that you find at the start of the game. They do not speak to you but they do have a similar communication style as your character (let’s call her Pip because that’s the first thing that came to mind and she’s as innocent as ol Pip from LOTR lol)....  But the two communicate in thesame way. They....chirp, and a little sound wave emits off their heads with a little golden light. And that’s it. You hit space bar (or one of te buttons on the game control) and Pip chirps in greeting while the robo-buddies chirp in return (and sometimes, fi you’re lucky, they’d do a little flip!).  Now this was interesting to me because it indicates that language in this world ...isn’t the same as ours. And this place...this world? Feels like a whole other planet (much like Subnautica is) where the whole space is made of JUST water and a bit of islands/lands.  However...When you enter one of the palaces near the end of the levels you see a big mural with figures that look like Pip dressed in togas/suits/dresses that resemble Egyptians....And all around them are what appear to be Hieroglyphics. So they MUST have some language, right? Or used to? Spoken? Unless each chirp, or frequency of each chirp is the equivellent to a syllable/word of a sentence ?  Either way, that was just really neat to see and it was a fantastic start at showing the world to the players at first.  Now another important thing to note about Pip is that she (or he but I’m going to stick with she since that’s how I’ve always seen Pip)  clearly has an affinity towards the sea creatures...and the sea creatures are connected to her somehow.  There is a speed boost you can activate by pressing a certain button (on PC it’s the LMB) and each time you do boost any school of fish near by would swoop by and join Pip as she turbo zips through the sea! I found myself grinning at that beautiful sight... I mean how many animal lovers would LOVE to have a whole school of creatures just follow you like that so sweetly?  And of course there’s the fact that Pip can hitch a ride on almost any creature (that is big/strong enough) around! THey’ll swim around and you can get from place to place much faster aaway. Not only a really REALLY cool game mechanic but another fascinating trait about our little deep sea diver!  There is something that’d I’d consider...almost spiritual within the bond between Pip and the sea itself. 

This is proved by the ancient (and empty) towers we discover throughout the levels and dive through their pool rooves to enter this galaxy world which I honestly believe is the underworld/upside down world of the sea world we normally swim in.  I did a quick search and found that ABZU means “fresh water from underground aquefiers” (yes, that IS very specific, lol)  but it is religious in Sumerian culture.  Next point (i’m trying to get everything I can remember down in one go!)  The stages you experience throughout the game....the shark, i mean. A really interesting character as at first you see it and you don’t know how you feel about it. You’re swimming around, minding your own business, enjoying the lovely music, still grinning after shooting out of the water like a dolphin and hitching rides with big fishes.....then all of a sudden Pip stops swimming and there before you is a FREAKING SHARK just chilling there, waiting for you.  At first you still think you’re controlling Pip since the transition to cut scene is so smooth. You spot the shark, the shark is swimming around..to the equivllence of pacing? and then wooooosh it aggressively swims through a bunch of kelp to disappear in the cavern away.  I remember I felt a sense of dread but also a lot of curiosity.  To me (as of right now) i believe that shark may represent the Unknown in life. 

More on this later!  Though one curious thing is the way Pip reacts to the shark....Which isn’t really easy to read...since Pip doesn’t react at all. She’s just willing to follow where you want her to go, go questions asked, no hesitation. 

Though the way she watches the shark, the way she looks at the shark an dthe way she runs to save it immediately makes me wonder if she has some sort of kinship with it. Like a soul mate, a connection?  It was a strange feeling to experience but that theory became more stronger when I found another one of those temples/palaces with murals. there was one with several hallways showing ...some kind of story from the past. The pip-people seemed to have worshipped the shark, and I believe that shark had something that sort of...controlled whatever in the sea? It was like the heart of the sea, almost?  I say this because there was little glowing sun that was attached to it and...and shark seemed etheral or very, very sacred because it was painted the same luminescent blue colour that the sacred Abzu was coloured in the pictures. That shark has a connection with that water, and perhaps with whatever spiritual compounds its made of.  

----shark=unknown in life that we chase?  definitely stages of living  life, dying and rescurrecting? or new life replacing? Not sure..