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mirrorballwhoistrying · 1 year ago

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The month of Mental Health Awareness (08.06.2023)

May is the month of mental health awareness, funny how that was also the month that I was and still am mentally at my lowest.

Coming back from Vietnam, life didn’t slow down that much. We were preparing to go to KS trip. I don’t know why I can’t behave normal at all around people I’m attracted to. Especially, when that person is not available. What the hell?

It was the trip with the company but V brought her bf. He’s the typical perfect good guy that takes care of everybody. Too bad, I lack the stupid skill to make friends with guys. I felt a sense of emptiness. What was I trying to do exactly? Cause a scene? Tried to make a show to get some attentions from available guys? What was I thinking? Was I trying to prove how good I am just so to “show” I’m a worthy person that got to know to? I don’t know, well the trip ended and I’d never see him again, and why did I make this whole company trip experience about him anyway? The trip was fun and I took some nice photos. Then boom, my mom asked me to go to VN for health check-up the very next week, while I also need to start the first session for M4I. Like Can I get a break? I agreed to go to VN with mom anw. and what the hell? I suddenly got an email about the AFP interview?! Make it make sense! I also had like only 2 days to prepare for the interview!

I drafted the answers. It took me quite awhile. I tried to reach out to alumni. Too bad the time was really short and I couldn’t get much done. The interview didn’t go as well as I expected. The judges looked bored. One of the judges made it clear that they don’t want the interview to be too scripted. Too bad I’m a robot and don’t have much personality. I said I don’t care about AFP anymore. but I still f-cking care! The whole interview kept replaying in my head for awhile!

I also bought a new pair of glasses. It didn’t look too good on me. Another episode of me making rush decision.

I went to the first session of M4I. It was cool to meet all these amazing people. It’s something I’m going to look forward next few months. Except the crack between our team is showing. The thing is I got to meet and talk to b VV. I was truly inspired how chill he was and how he started his page! He did all his videos on CapCut!

I went to Vietnam without much expectation. I know my energy was really low. I wasn’t energetic at all. I planned to sneak out at night but I was too tired already. I don’t know. I feel like I’m 17 all over again around my relatives.

The good part was talking to J K and got to hear her stories, struggles and encouragements. She’s the reason why my parents are less worried about my career although they don’t know much. It’s so emotional to hear her stories and struggles. I wish her all the best.

The days after coming back from VN, my life didn’t get any much better. My mental health was at it’s lowest. I wanted to consult the therapy but it was too expensive.

I forgot to address the elephant in the room. CH stopped messaging me. I should have seen the sign after the first date. He became less and less responsive. Seems like I can’t keep anyone in my life. Why it affected my self-esteem so much? Was the problem about me? Or maybe I should focus on a good version of myself before expecting people to come and stay in my life? Or maybe I should take things less personal and think of more about compatibility.

I also went to Pride Fest. It was okay. Funny how my senior saw me there and texted me online. Well, I can’t seem to keep any connection going.

This month is my birthday month and it makes me depressing than ever. On a good side, one of my videos reached 100K views on Tik Tok and I posted my first vlog too. The worst part is my freelance work. I owe Chef N’s work for quite some time now.

I also spent the first week of June, stressed myself out to complete 2 applications which I think I might not likely get selected at all. It really took a toll on me mentally.

I feel like this month is like an epilogue. Wait last month I said it was an epilogue too! Well, I feel like it’s a transition phase. I plan to post videos on FB soon, while I haven’t edited the videos.

Seem like a lot happened this month but doesn’t guarantee much good things. I feel so empty before my birthday. I’m a living death currently. I think I’m going to focus more on freelance work and my page more in the next couple months.

I just want to be happy!

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alexturner · 5 years ago

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Q: "There's a specific scene, kind of like farther in season one of Barry [...] where you punch the glass and you kinda do this with your hands. What is your process for a scene like that?"

#ACTING #bill hader #billhaderedit #barry hbo #barryedit #barry #tv shows #3h #mine #mine: gifs #mine: barry #editsfav #gifs7 #edits2019 #gifs2019 #this whole interview is so f*cking cool i never wanted it to end

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unnursvanablog · 5 years ago

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The Books in have read (so far) in 2019

The Mistborn series – Brandon Sanderson: ☆☆☆☆☆, ☆☆☆, ☆☆☆

I finally finished this trilogy. It took me some time, but eventually I got there - I also read some books in between.

Overall I enjoyed them. I could understand why so many raved about them. How Sanderson was never too grim or gritty was refreshing, I found it interesting how he talked about religion, as well as the well crafted mythology of the world and the characters really stood out to me and something I really enjoyed reading about.

There were some pacing issues here and there and occasionally I found myself really not in the mood to read it. So, while I understood the brilliance of this series I felt like I wasn’t always that connected to it. And that hurt my experience as a reader a little bit.

Little Women – Louisa May Alcott: ☆☆☆☆☆

I decided to re-read this one, but this time I got it as an audiobook. This one completely hooked me, as I had expected. It made me go through all of the emotions, even if I already knew the story very well. That is a testimony of a good story, I think.

The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas: ☆☆☆

I enjoyed the story and I found it very intriguing, educational and interesting, but I wasn’t always that into the writing style. That and some of the more teenage type drama took me out of the story a bit.

Circe – Madeline Miller: ☆☆☆

Maybe I had hyped it up too much in my mind, but I expected to love it more than I did. It never completely hooked me and as the story went along it kinda bored me. Sure, seeing these myths in a new light was cool at first, but I wasn’t that big of a fan of how the story progressed.

Paper Girls, Vol. 5 – Brian K. Vaughan: ☆☆☆

The story, to me, becomes better the more volumes I read. I still find it a bit too confusing and certain things are a bit overdone.

Vættir – Alexander Dan Vilhjálmsson: ☆☆☆

I thought the story was interesting, but I expected a bit more out of it and the main character didn’t do much for me. I liked how Icelandic it was and how it corporate fantasy into it, which is rare in Icelandic literature. A very easy, short read.

The Braid – Laetitia Colombani: ☆☆☆☆☆

Short, but very rich in story. Every chapter added another layer to it and each of the main characters was interesting in their own way. And I loved how it all connected in the end.

Saga, vol. 9 – Brian K. Vaughan: ☆☆☆

The story has lost its hold on me a little bit. It doesn’t surprise me as often and I feel like some of the cliffhangers are a tad bit overdone. But I still find it enjoyable.

David Copperfield – Charles Dickens: ☆☆☆

I never really connected to it. I blame the audiobook to be honest. I tend to zone out of them quite easily. I might have to do a re-read.

Hamlet – William Shakespeare: ☆☆☆

Reading plays has never really been something that I find enjoyable. I might have to give this a second try.

The Muse – Jessie Burton: ☆☆

This one bored me. So little happened and the few things that did were not very interesting. A slow burning book is fine, but then the characters have to be interesting to you, and these really were not. I had to force myself to finish it.

Where the Mountain Meets the Moon – Grace Lin: ☆☆☆

I liked reading about this Chinese myth. That was my favorite part. It felt very middle-grade, which sometimes does it for me and sometimes doesn’t. The story itself never really stood out to me, but I enjoyed it.

Rich People Problems – Kevin Kwan: ☆☆☆

Same sort of fluff, but it was somehow less enjoyable as the other two books. Still very easy to listen to, but there were a lot of the characters that this book focused on were not really my cup of tea. The story is still very wild and soapy.

Alias Grace – Margaret Atwood: ☆☆☆

I gave this story a second chance after DNF-ing it some years ago. This time I listened to it on a plane ride to London. I zoned out a bit - a jump between the present and the past in books aren’t always my cup of tea - but as the story went along I started to enjoy the slow reveal of the plot.

Queer Eye: Love Yourself. Love Your Life – The Fab Five: ☆☆☆

Very enjoyable as an audiobook and if you like the show you will probably enjoy this one. Didn’t have that much of a story structure in my opinion and I didn’t feel like I learned a whole lot new (I have watched too many interviews’ and so on for that) but I enjoyed it.

The Hidden Power of F*cking Up – The Try Guys ☆☆☆☆

I don’t usually read books by youtubers, especially non-fiction ones, but I am actually a fan of these guys. Listening to these guys was super enjoyable and I didn’t really want to stop sometimes. It hooked me right away. I was kinda just like listening to some of their vidoes, but a bit more tidbits from the personal lives and other things. Not sure if this one would work for someone who isn’t a fan of their youtube content, but I think this is mostly for the fans anyway.

#book review #aka the tale of me trying out a bunch of audiobooks and then zoning out of them and complaining about it #or close to that #I have listened to a lot of Audiobooks this year and most of the time they are just a miss for me #idk why

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bonjourtoaya · 7 years ago

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[Pann / Naver] Netizens React to Kyungsoo’s Acting in ‘With God’

source : Pann

[PANN] I Went To Watch “With God” Today

‘Since he’s in EXO then he also can’t act, but I freaking have to push it’, honestly I thought like that (at first). I didn’t watch any single movie that has EXO in it, but my friends said ‘Let’s watch it (With God)’ so today we went to watch it, and I truly enjoyed the movie. And of course, the Doh Kyungsoo guy? Though he wasn’t the lead role here and his screentime wasn’t that a lot, he truly understood his character ‘Private Won’ and portrayed it well that it sent me goosebump.

I found out that he’s really good at acting. How embarrassing of me for judging him merely from his idol status, f*ck. Tonight I’m also going to watch his other movie “Hyung”.

[T/N : pictures below is an interview with ‘With God’ producer]

This was sent by an EXO-fan fellow.

Yoon Seong-eun MC : “But, the name ‘Won Dong-yeon’ also comes out in the movie.”

Won Dong-yeon Producer : “(People left comments like) ‘Sprinkling an idol on top of the cooked rice’, or, ‘An idol is here, then I won’t watch’. But I’ve seen Doh-Kyungsoo as an actor since his appearance in movie ‘Cart’, and I’m revealing my will of utmost recognition for Doh Kyungsoo by giving my name (as his character’s name in With God).”

[T/N : Sprinkling a ‘....’ on top of the cooked rice, is equivalent to adding a trouble on top of a great occurence]

comments:

1. [+318, -9] Doh Kyungsoo started acting in 2014, not even once he went through any controversy regarding his acting skill. He even received Newcomer Award prize from Blue Dragon Awards through his performance in movie “Hyung”.

> [+39, -1] God-Kyungsoo winning Newcomer Award from Blue Dragon Awards

[T/N: Kyungsoo getting the most score out of all newcomer award nominees, which was based on professional jurors & netizens pick]

> [+37, -1] For real, I went to watch it. D.O.’s acting was awesome and I didn’t only cry once the movie ended, I was already a crying mess in between the show. I thought, even antis wouldn’t be able to drag it.

2. [+289, -9] Have you watched his appearance in a drama with Jo Insung and Gong Hyojin? The name is “It’s Okay, That’s Love”, and Doh Kyungsoo’s acting was daebak there. Honestly at first I thought that he looked so-so (I’m sorry, since he looked like a baby next to Jo Insung), but his acting woah... It’s really a must-watch drama, no joke.

3. [+263, -10] I don’t like EXO, but... watching D.O.’s acting in “Hyung” made me gasped.. he’s really good at acting.

4. [+78, -2] His acting was so goosebump-inducing in “It’s Okay, That’s Love” ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ [T/N : trigger warning, bloody gif below]

5. [+73, -2] When it was announced that he won Newcomer Award at Blue Dragon Awards, I was like, ‘what... does Blue Dragon Awards give prize to anyone now?’. I’m not an EXO fan so I’ve never watched movies with them in it, but this time I want to watch it. Since he received favorable reviews by critics.

6. [+63, -4] Though I’m a fan of another artist, I think that Doh Kyungsoo is straight up an actor... (not just an acting-dol level)

7. [+60, -2] I went to watch ‘With God’ today too, and D.O.’s acting was crazy good

8. [+40, -1] If you sprinkle Doh Kyungsoo on top of the cooked rice, it becomes a whole buffet. [T/N : loool]

9. [+40, 0] Honestly, even as someone who doesn’t really like EXO, it can be a different thing if you just watch Doh Kyungsoo-nim’s acting. Im Siwan-nim is also good at acting, just like D.O. and his Doh Kyungsoo’s side, so what’s the need to stretch out a double standard to D.O. (only because he’s from EXO) ㅠㅠ

10. [+28, -1] ‘If you sprinkle Doh Kyungsoo on top of the cooked rice, it becomes a whole buffet’ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ f*cking accurate

11. [+27, -2] Im Siwan and Doh Kyungsoo’s acting skills have to be acknowledged, with no bias to their appearances.

12. [+26, -1] While I don’t think that ‘With God’ was really fun as a movie, D.O.’s acting was indeed so good. D.O.’s acting when he was burying the corpse and Kim Dongwook’s wailing acting in the end, both of these sent me goosebumps.

13. [+19, 0] I’m a fan of another artist, and yesterday I also went to watch ‘With God’. Remove the ‘idol’ tag from him and watch it, he’s so good at acting ㅠㅜ

14. [+17, 0] I think I watch almost all works with Doh Kyungsoo in it. His acting is solid... when i watch it, I forget that he’s from EXO...

15. [+15, 0] A hallucination. A psycopath. An acting with dialect. A ‘custody sergeant’. He’s doing these kind of roles. But not even once he went through an acting controversy. Isn’t he great.

[T/N : from this source, Once soldiers are selected as a ‘custody sergeant’ due to reasons like possibility of carrying out dangerous actions like AWOL, suicide, attack etc, their names are supposed to be kept secret among others]

- etc

[Naver] ‘With God’ passed 2 Million admissions only in 4 days.. Faster than ‘Ode To My Father’

comments:

1. [+5223, -156] Kim Dongwook’s acting is so good...

> [+247, -7] Kim Dongwook, Doh Kyungsoo, and Ha Jungwoo in the ‘Letter of a Private Soldier’ scene, these three actors have a really good chemistry.

2. [+1014, -60] Kim Dongwook and Doh Kyungsoo’s performances were really impressive.

3. [+904, -51] The scene with both Kim Dongwook and Doh Kyungsoo in it was great! All of Kim Dongwook’s scene in this movie was straight up good ㅠㅠ also, it’s not a monopoly of cinema. Their pre-advanced tickets rate is up to 50~60%, so of course their number of screens is big.

4. [+257, -10] After watching ‘With God’, I’m turning into a fan of Joo Ji-hoon, Doh Kyungsoo, Kim Dongwook, and Ha Jungwoo. Doh Kyungsoo was incredible with his portrayal of a pitiful Custody Sergeant character.

5. [+233, -8] Ha Jungwoo and Kim Hyanggi are also really good. Still, Kim Dongwook and Doh Kyungsoo’s part was truly sorrowful, they are so good at acting.

6. [+204, -14] Private Won ㅠㅠ I’m truly looking forward to see ‘Private Soldier’ Doh Kyungsoo again in the second part. How can I wait till summer next year though? ㅠㅠ

7. [+166, -2] Doh Kyungsoo and Kim Dongwook’s scenes were so good. The mother part was jjang.

8. [+142, -6] Though I’m not much of a movie-goer, I really enjoyed this one ㅋㅋ the CG looked disappointing from the trailer, but it’s actually not unpleasant at all throughout the movie. The casts acted so well, especially Kim Dongwook and Doh Kyungsoo. These two left the most impressions to me ㅠㅠ and the person who was in charge of the mother role.. It was an obvious melodrama, still I was so moved that I couldn’t hold my tears. I’m going to watch the movie one more time. Really looking forward to the 2nd part next year!

9. [+139, -12] EXO member Doh Kyungsoo, that kid is so good at acting. His idol status aside, I think he can be trusted as an actor.

10. [+122, -3] I knew that With God was going to be great, and after watching the movie, it was truly freaking fun ㅋㅋ Ha Jungwoo and Joo Ji-hoon were cool and, in the ‘Real Life’ part which had a fast development. the chemistry between ‘Private Won’ Doh Kyungsoo and ‘Soo Hong’ Kim Dongwook was really great. Seems like the 2nd part will be more interesting. Please do make it into a series.

11. [+111, -3] Seriously, Kim Dongwook and Doh Kyungsoo’s performances were amazing. Kim Dongwook is real.

12. [+108, -4] Once again seeing Doh Kyungsoo’s acting, he’s really good at it. The other casts are really cool as well.

13. [+90, -6] Doh Kyungsoo’s acting is so f*cking good.

14. [+69, -8] Doh Kyungsoo’s portrayal of a Custody Sergeant role is really awesome. He was also so good with his psychopath cameo in “I Remember You” but this time it’s daebak.

15. [+67, -5] The casts acting is really the best. It surprised me that Doh Kyungsoo always sent me goosebump with his acting, and this time he did it again through his portrayal of ‘Private Won’ character. He’s truly cool.

- etc

#kyungsoo #exo #do kyungsoo #d.o.#withgod

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prettylittleliarsxxxx · 7 years ago

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Carly Chaikin, who currently plays Darlene in Mr. Robot and Ian Harding, who you’ll recognize as Ezra Fitz from Pretty Little Liars are both involved in People You May Know, a film about the way that social media cultivates fame, and the dangers of creating a life online that looks nothing like the one you’re really living. For such a heavy topic, it’ll surprise you how light-hearted the film can be, while still driving home the point: Social media should help you live your life, not be your life. I caught up with Harding and Chaikin to talk about what it’s like to be a celebrity on social media, and what, if any, responsibility celebrities have when it comes to what they post.

Harding, who shot to stardom by starring in Freeform’s Pretty Little Liars, grew his following over the course of the show to his current 2.33 million followers on Twitter and 4.7 million followers on Instagram. That’s…a lot. Harding’s character in People You May Know, Phillip, is one of those anti-social media post-millennial intellectuals. Even Harding thinks he goes a bit too far, (“He’s the kind of guy who isn’t on Facebook and is proud of it.”) but that a life without social media is enviable.

“Oddly enough, because I have a social media following truly because of Pretty Little Liars, I feel somewhat obligated at times to use it or, you know, “Am I posting enough? Am I checking in with my fans?” And these are all questions that, as soon as they leave my mouth, it feels disgusting asking them. But, I realized that it’s sort of par for the course now in our industry. But I think, if given the chance, I wouldn’t have social media. Like, if somebody said to me, “You can have a long, happy career as an actor and never Instagram another photo,” then I think I would do that.” That might be because Harding, whose parents were in the military, was raised to understand that whatever he put out onto social media would come back around eventually. “It’s very easy to make a mistake and for things to be taken out of context.” It’s with this understanding that he treads pretty carefully around social media, describing it as “having a Bengal tiger for a pet.”

It’s kind of really cool at first, and it’s a kind of love you’ll never experience in your life again, but you have to stay on top of it and you have to be very wary of it because if not it will pull your entrails out of your backside…"

He laughs, "…Maybe that was too graphic.”

You never know what’s going to ignite a fire.

Chaikin, who has 156,000 followers on Instagram and 93,700 on Twitter, plays Oakley in the film. She describes the relationship between speaking her mind and social media reactions as a scary one, but mostly when it comes to polarizing topics like politics. She tells me about one instance in particular after retweeting a piece of news that she saw. “I was like, 'Trump supporters, don’t attack me, I am genuinely asking do you support this?' and of course not one person was like, ‘Yeah, I do support this!’ Everyone was like, ‘Nobody cares about your f-cking opinions!’ You know, everyone just jumps, attacks, and gets defensive…But, it does get scary because people do…you know, you never know what’s going to ignite a fire. You know, it makes me think twice about what I’m going to say, but I’ve always been the person who just says it anyway.”

When it comes to whether or not celebrities have a responsibility to speak up on social media, Harding stresses that the most dangerous way for a celebrity to use social media, is by using it but not understanding the issues that they’re bringing attention to. Look at Harding’s Twitter and you’ll see exactly what he describes: “I think my social media is pretty fluff or is just straight up advertising” which the actor says are all he really feels like putting into the world. There are times, like after the Vegas shooting, when he posted a hotline to call for people who may be looking for a loved one or a number to text if you wanted to help end gun violence. But as a rule, he just tries to be informed and give his followers the chance to learn more about the issues he's passionate about.

“I don’t try to get too pedantic on social media because it’s also made—these apps and these social media sites—have made it easier for celebrities to feel very, very important…” One thing that strikes me about Harding is how educated he is about issues like gun violence or Trump's travel ban. Throughout our conversation, he rattles off facts about them, peppering his commentary with examples of how he has made a personal effort to simply understand the whole issue. He is the epitome of responsibility on social media. Thoughtful and thought provoking; and that's because he dislikes celebrities who aren't as informed as the ought to be. "The thing that I can’t stand is when I’ll talk to another influencer or an actor who is really vocal about something and you get about three sentences in and you realize that they know, like, the baseline info of whatever that issue is or whatever that topic is. And it’s very hard for me to take those people seriously."

Harding grew up outside of Washington D.C., so his friends who are in “saving the world” industries (as he calls them) are putting their passion into action when it comes to the causes like human trafficking and gun violence. He looks at these friends and sees them really working to make change. He uses the word "slacktivism" to describe the way that we are quick to use hashtags but slow to head out to the polls when it's time to vote on issues. “I think if you really feel that you need to put out a post for moral reasons or you’re standing up for a cause, just make sure that the effort that you exert in being online and Instagramming and tweeting is then met in real life with an equivalent.” In other words, put your Instagram likes where your mouth is and strive to make a difference aside from just a few hashtags.

Harding has more followers than Chaikin, something I only point out because there are differences in their opinions when it comes to their responsibility as celebrities with a following. Where Harding has a clear sense of "this could backfire" and therefore tries to keep his content light when he can, Chaikin wishes she “had millions and millions of followers that could hear those things and hear what I have to say” when it comes to the issues she is passionate about. She mentions Ellen DeGeneres and her social media campaign to save the elephants after Trump decided to reverse the ban on big game trophies as an example.

She’s thankful that celebs like Ellen are using their platform, but it’s a double-edged sword. “It almost like, makes everything feel more hopeless and helpless that all of these people who can reach millions and millions…that it still doesn’t fix anything necessarily.” She captures sort of perfectly what I think a lot of millennials feel when it comes to effecting change, “I guess I don’t really feel like I have that much power to influence that many people.”

But that doesn’t mean that she just stops putting herself out there when it comes to the issues. I mention one tweet in particular that caught my eye; one about the sexual assault allegations coming out of Hollywood. I mentioned it because I was struck by her honesty. She tweeted, “It is a dangerous time to be a dangerous man – ladies, don’t stop talking.” And it looks like she takes her own advice: She's not going to stop talking until people start listening.

Where there is Chaikin’s opinionated Twitter feed, unfazed by whether or not people agree with her, there is Harding’s belief that “No good deed goes unpunished.” While he acknowledges feeling some responsibility and being comfortable with a little backlash, he also admits that it makes him anxious, “especially as an actor, of doing too much. Because then people start to know you as one thing and perhaps you’re less believable in other roles.” That Bengal tiger could rear its ugly head any moment.

As for what these two actors have in common, well, they both think that Millennials have a lot to learn from People You May Know. For Chaikin, it’s about looking past social media to see that what you’re interacting with is surface: “We look at social media and we think that’s actually their life. You know, I look at so many people’s feeds like, ‘God, your life is so cool. Like, I want to do that! Why don’t I get that?' And I will get envious of someone’s life and we don’t think about the fact that it’s completely, not fake, but it’s one, single screenshot of just the good times."

For Harding, the film’s message is that there’s a life outside of social media, but also that social media should have its limits, and that it’s our job to impose those limits for ourselves. “It should only be a tool for communication and for sharing of ideas. It should not be a tool for hate, it should not be a source of self worth…I don’t think it’s a new way of expressing really deep ideas. I think it’s a way of perhaps starting a conversation, but it sure as sh-t isn’t a place to go get news. If you really want to start a conversation, if you really want to effect someone’s life, you have to talk to that person.” People You May Know will be released on demand and digital HD on November 28.

#ian harding #carly chaikin #people you may know #social media #other projects

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smokeybrandreviews · 5 years ago

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Go Woke Go Broke

I am a fan of great stories. I adore brilliant, unique, art. I adore when both are integral to a creation be it film, comic, book, short story, light novel, fan fiction; Whatever. I find the ability to build worlds in almost any capacity, incredible. I’m also an older Millennial; Part of the tweener, X/Y, Oregon Trail generation. Born in the 80s, raised in the 90s, and came of age in the early 00s.We played until the street lights caught us, my first game system was an NES, and all my Saturday morning cartoons were sans Disney, toy commercials. I got an honorable mention once at a science fair and my parents were unimpressed so Participation Trophies were a joke to me and i learned how to deal with bullies by dealing with bullies. I had to worry about gangs shooting up my school, not that lone, weird kid in a trench coat. I’m all about representation but i understand that if you want people to look like you on film, you’d better find a way to make that film in white ass Hollywood. Basically, i have sense whereas most Millennials born after 89, do not. I need to make that distinction because we are about to get into some sh*t.

The merit and value of representation or visibility in mainstream media is dependent on the quality of said portrayal in the cultural zeitgeist. I’m a giant black dude who lives in America so representation for me basically begins and ends with a thug persona. As a black person in general, watching actors who look like me get passed over in roles that are uplifting and enriching to the culture like Hurricane or Ali for very specific, very demeaning, very marginalization, stereotypes, is disgusting. Black people, however excellent they are, never win for anything other than the magical Negro, uplifting slave, or non-threatening service person. Hidden Figures is an amazing tale of the trio of black women who saved NASA during the height of the space race. It was nominated for three Oscars and won none. Mahershala Ali did win an Oscar for best supporting actor portraying Juan, a drug dealer. Another movie he was in won several Oscars as well, Green Book. Ali plays Dr. Don Shirley characterized by the magical negro trope. I can go on and on. Denzel Washington got his second Oscar for Training day playing a corrupt ass cop when he turned in a much better, far more emotional performance, in Hurricane the year before. His first? Glory, where he played a former slave. A few years later? Snubbed for Philadelphia. Washington played, deftly i might add, a lawyer named Joe Milller who had to reconcile his own prejudices bout what it meant to have AIDS. Dude wasn’t even nominated. Tom Hanks won, though. See that pattern?

I don’t like Steven Universe. I don’t think it’s a very good show but because it has a massive fanbase among the LBGTQ community, it’s bullet proof from criticism. Nah, i’m about to go in. I adore Rebecca Sugar and i commend her creativity. My favorite episodes of Adventure Time are often attribute to her in some way, wither s0rt direction story boarding, or song writing. Marceline wouldn’t be Marcy with Sugar and i’ll always love her for that. That said, Steven Universe is melodramatic trash that uses pandering as a crutch. I don’t have a problem with the gays or whatever getting their visibility, but there are ways to do it without coming across as plagiarized drivel. Euphoria immediately comes to mind. Universe wears it’s anime inspirations on it’s sleeve. Sugar is a massive fan of Sailor Moon and you see, just, SO much of that in this show. Entire scenes and plot points are directly lifted from Usagi’s epic adventure but, because of the nostalgia goggles, cats are blinded to the straight-up theft. I’m not. That lack of originality is hindrance to the message. I mean, not really, i guess, because people love this show but it’s hard for me to acknowledge anything genuine about it because i know it is all a fraud. Hell, Land of the Lustrous, a manga by the name of Hoseki no Kuni, bares more than a striking similarity to Universe and came out a full year before Steven first bared his belly gem! Guess what Lustrous is? A manga! Guess who loves anime and manga? Sugar! Guess who has built a career on Sailor Moon images and Fan art? Sugar! Hell, Lustrous does a better job of LBGTQ representation by accident. Seriously, check that sh*t out. It’s an excellent narrative that doesn’t pander to the SJW crowd. It just tells it’s story about gem girls and space monsters. Sh*t is dope.

Where i feel the most sting, however, is in the US comic industry. All of this PC wokeness is in direct contrast to creative storytelling, for the most part. Marvel is hilariously guilty of this sh*t. I was on board when they decided to turn carol Danvers into Captain Marvel, effectively retiring her leotard costume and pretending kike it never happened. Fine. I liked that design but i get how impractical is was. The homage to Mar-Vell in her current duds is cool, too. I was one of the few that waited before running to judgment as Bendis race-bent Spider-Man into Miles Morales and then gender bent Iron Man into Riri Williams. Riri is a sh*t character in her own right but the outrage was more about her gender and race which made the criticism seem neckbeard nerd rage. Even then, i stuck around. Hell, when that Mockingbird run dropped and was literally a feminist manifesto, i let it ride because it was cleverly written and, foe the most part, i am kind of a feminist. More Equalist but there are feminist undertones in there. More recently, however, we got this New Warriors book and this is where i have to draw the line. Snowflake and Safe pace? Token non-binary hero? Marvel used to be at the forefront of this sh*t. They had gay superheroes in the 70s. They got married in the 80s. They addressed AIDS in the 90s and muslim bigotry in the 00s. Marvel was always crazy social conscious. That was one of their story telling staples and they delivered those messages with a light but firm touch.

F*ck, dude, the X-Men are an allegory for black people and the Civil Rights movement! Magneto and Professor X are literally caricatures of Malcom X and Dr. King. mainstream comic, broaching the subject of discrimination, camouflaged in the vibrant arto f superhuman clashes, sold to white kids across America, during the f*cking 60s? Are you serious? That sh*t changes minds. That sh*t starts a conversation. That sh*t is status quo changing! Snowflake and Safespace? F*cking really? This is your social discourse now? Disrespectful parody of a marginalizing slur and already absurd concept derived by weenies? This isn’t even satire, it’s outright disrespect. I think safespaces are detrimental to proper, healthy, discourse or that the notion of those who stand up to offense are snowflakes who “need to get a sense of humor”, but for real? The fact that cats just tacked on the one is non-binary just outright exposes the true intent. This sh*t is pandering, straight up. It’s non representation It’s not progress. It’s disrespectful Woke point grabbing. It’s superficial lip-service being played to those that feel like their label isn’t getting enough media scrutiny. I think all of these new genders or whatever are stupid but i’m an old person. Some kid might identify with being non-binary or whatever and THIS sh8t is what they have to look forward to seeing. You can’t be serious.

Now, the whole reason i’m writing this, the entire reason i was even thing king about this subject, is because of Late Night with Lily Singh. Singh is a comedy Youtuber who has crossed over into the mainstream. I, personally, don’t find her funny, but i understand how important her success is in the world. Singh is, if you haven’t deduced by her name, a Desi woman. She’s a Canadian of Punjabi descent and she’s making moves. Ma is one of the most popular channels on the platform and, indeed, i first came across her through another cat i follow. Even though i personally do not enjoy her content, the breadth of what she has accomplished does not elude me. Singh is a powerhouse and should be recognized as such. However, her actual, on-air, late night talk show is f*cking dog sh*t. Singh is not geared for that. Like, at all. Her jokes are bad, her monologues are delivered with a clumsy anxiousness that belies the energetic skit-maker from her Youtube channel, and she is the worst interviewer on television! Her guests are often visibly bewildered. Watching James Corden interview someone is off-putting, dude does his best impression of graham Norton, but Seeing Singh just assault her guests with mediocrity is textbook cringe. Why the f*ck was she put into this very public position, thrown to the wolves, doomed to fail?

Her show is bad, man, but when you say so, the PC Police come out to beat your sh*t in. Singh is Indian, female, and bisexually; The three biggest spaces on the Marginalized bingo board. Being brown, or queer, or prone to vaginas gets you them woke points whenever you create anything but to have all three at once? Boy, you bulletproof! Saying anything remotely resembling criticism gets you cancelled on the grounds of sexism, homophobia or just plain classic racism, all the while, her show i literal sh*t! Singh, herself, is often racist and sexist throughout her “comedy” skits! I’m not one to subscribe to white people being discriminated against. A a black dude with a firm grasp of history, i personally believe white people should just take it when a minority goes after them because they never have a problem taking from everyone else. Goose/gander, you know what i’m saying? That said, there’s an art, a nuance, to that racial observation. Singh does not deliver her content with that deft touch. She’s built a career on malicious caricatures of the whites and the penises, which would be fine if there was a message in her satire, but there’s not. It’s base and uninspired.

You can build a career on that type of content. Dave Chappelle’s entire career is that type of content and he’s one of the greatest comedians to ever comedy. The difference between his material and Singh’s is that Chappelle says something. Chappelle hits you in the gut and forces you to look within. His sh*t is actually profound. Lily Singh is not. She’s skews closer to that trainwreck, Nicole Arbour, than she does Eddie Murphy. She’s more Amy Schumer than Wanda Sykes and that sh*t is on full display with her terrible, terrible, talk show. I read somewhere that it might be getting cancelled soon and my first thought was, “It’s not cancelled now?” If i am aware that Singh’s content is pedestrian, surely the studio knew it was. I mean, the ratings of her show are abysmal. She even found her way into a race controversy as a female, lesbian, Desi on TV! Then it dawned on me; This wasn’t true representation This was NBC casing Woke points. They never believed in this show, rather, wanted to use Singh as a sounding board. She’s a trophy for a network trying to court that meek, 90s baby, everyone-is-special, “Muh anxiety”, crowd. It didn’t work and Singh’s show is getting shelved, as it should, but it’s f*cked up that this is what representation at the corporate level looks like. This sh*t is tokenism, plain and simple

Representation is great. I want all of us to be seen. People around the world judge our various cultures based on what our entertainment contributes to the cultural zeitgeist of the world. Mot blacks aren’t gang-bangers, rappers, or dug dealers. Most Muslims aren’t terrorists. hell, most Muslims aren’t even of middle eastern descent! Islam is the largest religion in the world. You’re more likely to meat an south Asian with a Koran than an Iranian with a suicide belt. Gays aren’t going to turn you, Women don’t have vagina dentata, and the handicapped are more resilient than you think. Don’t pander. Don’t token. This game of playing for Woke points in the media and arts needs to stop. All of this faux outrage by mostly rich, white, people on behalf of the people their privilege marginalizes, needs to stop. Patting yourself on the back because you’re book has a Sudanese, paraplegic, lesbian, lead is not being progressive, it’s masturbatory at best. Approach your project with a sense of levity, common sense, and, more than anything, respect. Is what you deem “representation” a good look for whatever class you’re trying to champion? Or is it just a means to stroke your ego and push your politics? Are you Brad Pitt or are you Kathleen Kennedy? Is what you want to show us going to do more bad than good?

At the end of the day, create what you ant to create, just be conscious of how you create. Evaluate your message. Make sure it’ something that needs to be said. Something that, when said, can’t be ignored. Make the message profound and the representation enriching. Make that sh*t count because doing so in an effort to appear the Wokest, just trivializes everything you are attempting to do.

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smokeybrand · 5 years ago

Text

Go Woke Go Broke

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