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renhanaschewtoy · 13 days ago

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Coworkers

FINALLY. I'm so sorry it took so long. All the chaos and junk really got the better of me. I hope y'all like this, I really tried. I can't wait to write more. Strade's Favorite Bartender will be next! 💚 NSFW MDNI

You’d always had a certain fondness for Lawrence you supposed. He was always the quiet guy at work, hesitant to ever really speak or have attention be directed his way.

And it wasn’t like you’d bulldozed into his life either.

It had started small, really. He was stronger than he looked and often you both shared shifts. You’d asked him a few times if he could help you move some things, speed up the task and he’d always given a little nod and followed you to do so.

You wanted to bridge that gap, you bought some tea you kept in your locker, offering it to Lawrence on breaks. At first he just stared at you for a long moment before slowly giving a nod of his head, crystalline eyes directed anywhere but you. And then grabbing the sandwiches or other items from the corner Mart you saw him buy from time to time. You simply wanted Lawrence to feel appreciated in the warehouse. That you were grateful he helped you.

And it turned into routine after a little while.

Sharing breaks, eating together in the silence that was the wee hours of morning before the sun broke. Settled in the stale smelling break room or outside on the bench in the parking lot, side by side. You usually did most of the talking but from time to time, it was exciting to hear Lawrence talk. When he'd mention his plants, the most recent time he went on a trek through the park or on a hike, better was when he’d actually give you his opinion. Even if it was differing. If it weren’t for the occasional stutter or stammer, you’d reckon to say he’d have a rich voice. Dulcet to you, if you dare say so.

You gave him your number, just in case you switched shifts at work or something came up of course! Though that didn’t stop you from sending the occasional message asking how he was doing, or if you shared a shift a “have a good night! Oops, I mean morning!” sort of text. You wanted to endear yourself to Lawrence.

And you had.

You wormed your way under his skin and into his heart like vines of twisting ivy, you made it hard for Lawrence to breathe around you sometimes. The saccharine scent about you that was so alien, so absolutely opposite of damp rot and soil he’d become accustomed to. You were the fragrant bulbs of flowers he tried to nurture and fight the impulse to cut. You were soft, you were succulent in a way Lawrence didn’t understand like the occasional ones he had spotted around his apartment. Visions of you swam in his head at night in his bed, in the fog of his shower. Emboldened by the haze of burnt hash of a blunt that was discarded on the ashtray nearby. Lawrence wondered how you would feel…from the inside. How different you would feel from his hand. Water or lotion made do in a pinch when he’d fist himself to completion, more often than not he would grow frustrated after the clarity hit him.

“huff…huff…nngh…f-fuck…(Name)...” Water cascades down Lawrence’s pale body, head bowed with one hand braced against the cool tile wile the other hand stroked his weeping cock. You brushed up against him on more than one occasion today, he felt the soft warmth of your skin through your clothes, caught a peek of skin when you’d reach up high, Lawrence swore…goddamn it, he could hear the blood in your veins. Your hand brushed against his when you handed him a paper cup of some herbal tea you’d been so proud to prattle about hoping he’d like it. And he’d die before telling you that it was actually too sweet for his taste. But maybe that was you and your influence on the moment. Too sweet. His breathing grew ragged as his glacier eyes screwed shut, trying a slight twist of his wrist as Lawrence fisted his cock; reliving the encounters behind his eyelids.

The warm flush of your cheeks, he wondered how much blood could reach the apples of them…the plush look of your lips that always curled into a little grin, what might they look like swollen from his own pressed to them or his teeth sinking into them? Would your heart hammer in your chest? Or would it be slow and calm? Would you let him touch you? Actually touch you? To crawl inside of you and feel your warmth from the inside, to break your ribs and truly be in your embrace until you were cold and still like he often felt. A grunt passed Lawrence’s lips as he grappled with the thoughts– did he want that? No…no, he didn’t think he did. Lawrence wanted to savor you if he was ever presented the opportunity. You’d feel different. You were different. His mind rewound and pulled forward like a video on a loop, searching for just the thing to focus on. That breathless face you made after exerting yourself, the way your breathing drew a little rough and you tried to chuckle through, the way your (color) eyes would look up at him so gratefully in a way only you ever looked at him.

“Hhngh…haah…(N-Name)...” Lawrence choked your name from his throat as a shudder ripped down his spine, hips jerking erratically in a rhythm that grew sloppy before pearly, viscous cum splurted forward, coating his hand and dropping into the water to disappear down the drain. The smell of stale, foggy air and eucalyptus as the evidence of his mild perversion disappeared from sight. Maybe that’s why it was always easier in the shower. His panting eventually subsided into just one heavy sigh, the heaviness left him and again the frustration followed.

It wasn’t the same.

It wasn’t you.

Maybe Lawrence was getting greedy. Not that he could ever act on it. It always made him seize up worse when you were just looking at him with those eyes of yours. So patient for whatever he may say or do. It was maddening that he let it get this far. That you somehow had sunk so deeply into him instead that keeping you was now a regular rotation in his fantasy. That fire fed and fanned by content he consumed on the internet. But there was always just a slight pause on maybe trying such on you. Maybe. Exhaling through his nose, Lawrence turns off the water and steps out of the shower. His brow is deep set in thought as he lazily towels off his pallid skin and blonde hair that falls over his shoulders limply still damp.

Dressing for bed, Lawrence dares to glance at his phone- he never gets notifications. Not really. Just from you. And today must be one of those nights that the stars just align, one message from you.

(Name): “Hey!! I have some news tomorrow!”

Lawrence’s brows furrow and lips press in a thin line, he’s not sure how to reply. If he should. But he wants to.

Lawrence: Okay.

Like most or any social interaction- not his best work. Not that you cared. It never stopped you at all or caught you off. Most might find him brusque and socially awkward, which wasn’t untrue. Lawrence doesn’t linger on the thoughts of what it could possibly be, it could be anything with you; infinitely more optimistic than himself. You found the silver linings in most things, took joy in the small victories or whathaveyou. Something he would possibly find overwhelming or even annoying but you seemed to broach him a way just so that it never…felt that way. Lawrence didn’t want to keep you at an arms length like he had the first handful of shifts where he’d nearly tried to avoid you. And now he craved you. You were sunlight, warm and necessary. You were nourishment Lawrence didn’t believe he needed. He was starved in ways that didn’t make sense.

Tugging on old, worn sweatpants, Lawrence crawls into his bed and tries to settle in and stares at the ceiling for a while before his breathing lulls into sleep.

The next day, the next shift. Stars litter the sky and the moon hangs along them. The streets are mostly dead, the silent stillness of the parking lot of the warehouse is usually comforting but there’s an odd looming sense regarding your news and Lawrence doesn’t know why. Why his stomach turns and twists so strangely when he sees you eagerly wave him over as he pushes the heavy door open after a swipe from his employee badge.

“Hey, Law!” you greet, warmly as ever- you were probably the only one who forced themself to adapt to the lifestyle of working this shift and still function. Or function better than most of the other workers here. Granted it made sense to Lawrence, it was what he preferred though it never showed.

Lawrence gives a low hum of acknowledgement you had grown accustomed to as you met him halfway to walk to the lockers together. “You…mentioned you had news…?” After spinning the dial on his lock, those piercing baby blues turned to you, seeming to perk up at his voice addressing you.

You bite your lip in that way that makes him wish he could be one of your teeth. To feel the plush skin under pressure. Lawrence blinks before turning his focus back to your eyes. “Yeah! Yeah, I finally got a grown up job, heh…” You run a hand through your (length) (color) (type) hair, your grin faltering to something almost akin to nervousness or anxiety. Because all Lawrence can do is stare at you with a blank, unreadable expression. The silence hangs over heavy as you scuff your shoe on the floor.

“... you're quitting…?” It feels like he's choking it out but if he did, you didn't seem to notice. And he's grateful for it.

“Well, yeah, I mean…I gave my two weeks. It's just…I can't work here forever. It doesn't pay enough and I'm not exactly cut out for it long term.” You admit with a little bob of your head, glancing around the warehouse stacked with pallets and equipment. And it was true if Lawrence was being honest, you weren't as strong to continue this sort of labor for long without it doing something to your musculature or God forbid your beautiful bones. It was bad enough when you bruised.

“...oh.” There's an odd sort of thrum in his chest he can't discern, a tension that settles tight in too many places for his liking. Your sharp eyes seem to snap to him at the monosyllabic reply and soften. That look. Not of pity, just soft.

“But we can still text! Or meet up on off days! I'd like to check out that trail sometime, if you'd be down?” You're quick, so quick, to offer him the modicum of comfort. That you somehow, some way, want to be around him even when no longer coworkers. You were so odd. But it wasn't unwelcome. “But uh…I was gonna throw a little party. At my place with people from our shift. If you wanted to come.”

Lawrence raises a brow at that, it isn't a “no” (it would be for anyone else)but it's more of that confusion. He didn't do parties. He didn't do other people. Crowded spaces. Not without some sort of necessity or incentive tied to it. His pause seems to make you fidget. “I know it's not your thing, so don't feel you have to or anything. But it would really nice to have you there.” You uplilt your word with that hopeful tone.

He shifts on his feet, his eyes unable to hold your gaze. Honestly? He doesn't want to. He really doesn't want to. Lawrence shifts on his feet a little as if still chewing all of the information over. He didn't like any of it. Most of all your leaving. Your absence would be felt so deeply. Lawrence felt like had something, had someone, even on the humdrum shifts you shared. Be it normalcy, warmth, Lawrence didn't know. But he wasn't about to let it go. Let you go. He couldnt. You might be vines constricting around him, but Lawrence could be all the thistles, barbs, and thorns in the world of it kept you ensnared to him.

Sometimes the stars just aligned like that.

“But, like I said- I know it's not…”

“I'll come.”

You blink up at Lawrence, surprise stark on your face for just a moment at his definitive tone. It lingers before your lips curl into a toothy grin making his heart thud against his ribs. “Yeah? That's great. Really great.” You pull out your phone and tap on it few times before a buzzing comes from his pocket. “That's my address, it starts at seven but y'know…it's a party so show up whenever.” You shrug casually.

Lawrence glances to the side, racking his brain for a moment, thinking of what next, of what to do when he gets there- nevermind that it's days away. “Alright! Well, let's go kick this shift in the teeth!” You chime, clapping your hands together and wandering off to whatever task you were assigned and Lawrence slowly trailing after you.

×××

Relationships were complicated. People were complicated. Well…living people were complicated anyway. For the briefest moment Lawrence thinks back to his family, people that meant little to him in the grand scheme of things but whether he liked it or not was part of his building blocks. At least a little.Which brought a vague memory of a muffled voice from childhood, “We can’t go to a dinner party empty handed.” A few hours before Lawrence decided he would make his appearance, he stopped at the liquor store on the corner to bring a bottle of…fuck. What did you even like?? All you drank when you were together was whatever was at the vending machines, the convenience store, or tea. Lawrence stood near the door of the shop- bottles lined all over the shelves and walls. Advertisements of several brand plastered all over in bright colors or neons.

Augh.

Eventually Lawrence meanders over to the wine section, staring at the bottles blankly, drifting from label to label. White wine? Red wine? If you would even drink it. Dry? Semi? Sweet? It was alcohol for fuck’s sake, why did it have to be so complicated. With a shake of his head, frustration beginning to simmer in the pit of his stomach, Lawrence swipes a bottle of sweet red with a delicate looking label adorned in little gilded flowers. Maybe even if you didn’t like it, you would think it’s pretty. Or maybe you’d think he was weird, like most other people– no…no, that wasn’t true. It was you. None of his antisocial tendencies seemed to deter you or bother you, opposite; you’d been nothing but accommodating and patient with Lawrence.

Keeping his head down, Lawrence shoves a few bills at the unbothered clerk who bothers to spare him a second glance before he begins the trek to where your apartment is supposed to be. Gingerly stepping through the building, Lawrence lingers in the hallway probably a beat longer than necessary before rapping his knuckles against the door. His palms are sweaty as he cradles the bottle of wine and waits…and waits…he can hear the thrum of bass through the door, music playing paired with a few voices…by the sound of it, not to many people (thankfully) or so he hoped. Just as he debated leaving and tossing away any hopeful ideations, the door is abruptly pulled open to reveal you. In more casual clothes. A warm flush blooms beautifully over your cheeks that has his breath hitch ever so slightly.

“Law! Oh man, I was beginning to worry you weren’t gonna show up!” You lilt, posture so much more relaxed and…oh. Lawrence spies the red plastic cup in your hand, of course. It was a party. People drank. He brought a bottle that he’d almost forgotten about seeing you the way you were. The drunk blush on your cheeks looked ever so enticing. “C’mon, c’mon in!” You usher him in warmly and he can take in your apartment. Posters decorate the walls, well loved furniture, a small cozy kitchen…that same sweetened perfume that was so uniquely you seemed to seep into the very walls. Lawrence shuffles inside, keeping his eyes down, only sparing glances to the other coworkers mingling around your place. Some chatting, some playing video games you had set up on your television, others bobbing a little to the music.

Lawrence’s hands tighten around the bottle before looking up to you and awkwardly thrusting it towards you. “I…I didn’t know what to bring…If I should bring anything.” He admits, biting the inside of his cheek as you blink and accept it, looking it over.

“Huh? That’s real sweet of you, thanks Law! Wine, huh? Fancy. I’ve never really tried it.” You inspect it, but keep it carefully tucked in the crook of your arm, though before Lawrence can feel embarrassed about his actions you give a mischievous grin. “You’ll have to come over again and maybe try it with me, huh? Can’t drink alone.” You chime warmly before disappearing only briefly to tuck it safely in the kitchen so nobody thinks to open it. Something for just the two of you…it ignites a spark of hope that he allows himself to buoy on for comfort now that he’s vastly out of his element. You poke your head out of the kitchen, “You want something to drink? I can mix you something or uh…I’ve got water, soda, juice…” Lawrence takes the opportunity to follow you and the variety of beverages and snacks.

Opting for water, Lawrence takes up post along one of your walls, simply watching you and everyone else. Time ticks on as his hands worry the label of the water bottle to shreds. The music feels too loud, he can feel the bass in his bones. Nobody but you really wants to talk to him, he’s spared a nod of acknowledgement or a brief greeting but nothing more- if anything people seem surprised to see him here at all. Lawrence swallows thickly and glances to the clock and moves to stand up and you seemingly appear out of nowhere. Your eyes seem to trace over his features, lingering on his face for a beat before you do that wonderful thing you do. Soften up. Relax. “Hey...I know this isn’t really your scene. It can probably be a lot huh? Here…my room is quieter, you can chill there for a bit maybe? Kinda decompress? I really…hah…I really don’t want you to go yet…if that’s okay?” The alcohol has you emboldened, your lips a little looser, your thoughts more apt to slip between them.

And a strange warmth is surging through his veins, he feels it in his own cheeks, feels his fingers twitch slightly before Lawrence finds himself nodding. Your hand slips in his smoothly, gently- and he’s tempted to flinch but instead he squeezes, carefully. True to your words, your room is notably quieter than the living room, the length of hallway giving a decent berth. You settle on your bed with a dramatic sigh and Lawrence almost shyly sits beside you, hands in his lap. “...I’m glad you came.” You admit as you fall onto your back on your duvet and tilt your head to look up at him. “Is it greedy I wanted to keep you a little longer? Just to myself?”

It’s not greedy.

You’re not greedy.

You’re perfect.

Lawrence swallows thickly, your words reverberating in his skull, echoing his same thoughts. You wanted what he wanted. He could only hope anyway but you said what he was thinking aloud. You made it real. You were real. “N-No..No I don’t think that about you.” Lawrence manages to mutter out and it makes that smile grow wider on your lips. Your hand reaches for his again, delicately, as your fingers trace his knuckles.

“We could hangout more often, y’know. I meant it when I said I still wanted to see you even after I’m outta there.”

He doesn’t know what to say. Nobody’s ever wanted to hang out around him, much less. Well beside that one friend he made online who seemed down to maybe talk in person. But they weren’t you. Nobody compared to you. The silence hangs for a moment but in the soft lighting of your room, your eyes roam over his face again before you push yourself to sit up again, shuffling a little closer to him that Lawrence can feel the warmth of your body next to his. “...is it okay if I…” You dip your head slightly, lashes fluttering to make a point of looking down at his lips before meeting his gaze again. Just barely, Lawrence shakes his head before you give a breathy little chuckle and press your lips to his, a hand raising to cradle his jawline. The light stubble there is felt against the soft, smooth skin of your palm. Your lips are plush and sweetened by whatever alcohol you’d been drinking before, slightly sticky and sweet that Lawrence savors before clumsily kissing you back. Pushing back against you perhaps with an eagerness you hadn’t anticipated that draws a soft sound from your throat. Lawrence swallows down your groan, wanting more, feel you more, taste you more, feel all that livelihood that seems to emanate from you.

The kiss grows, heat building as your arms string around his neck and hands tangle in his blonde hair as it falls messily from its elastic. Lawrence leans, arms circling around your waist, a soft grunt muffled against your lips as he dares to deepen the kiss, tongue tracing your lower lip before being granted. Being able to explore inside of your mouth before pressing you down into the mattress. He can feel every breath you take, the expanding and compression of your chest, the way your heart thrums against your chest- Lawrence swears he can hear your heartbeat. Or maybe it’s his own pounding in his hears. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is more. More.

And you seem of the same mind. Your hands drift down to his hoodie, moving to push it off his shoulders and Lawrence awkwardly shrugs out of it, loathe to part from your lips even to breathe. With you on your back, his hands take the opportunity to roam, albeit shakily. Taking in every curve, noting the muscle and fat on your body- soft under his larger hands and so very warm. Lawrence could get lost in you endlessly. He wanted to. Parting only for a moment, his breathing ragged, you seem to waste no time as you greedily take in air while yanking your shirt up and over your head and reaching for the buttons of his plaid shirt. It isn’t long between the two of you, clumsy hands- some from alcohol and others from lack of real heated experience, before clothes are strewn over your floor and you and Lawrence are a tangle of limbs on your bed. His body cages you in, body anchored to you as he savors each sensation, each beautiful sound he’s able to pull from your lips, feeling the way your body moves and the way it works against his own. Lawrence reminds himself to be affectionate, what he was taught affection is supposed to look like through media consumption anyway, though with you it’s easier. It’s so lovely to kiss along your neck, feel you gasp and shudder, to feel your pulse flutter under his lips. “...feels…fuck…so good…” he groans lowly against your skin.

Lawrence can almost picture the expression on your face as you give a chime of laughter and dare to roll your hips against his own, feeling his erection straining against the cotton of his boxers in a very obvious tent. “It can feel better…I can make you feel better…” You croon softly and that’s the snap that breaks him. Pulling away so abruptly you look up at him owlishly, he shoves his boxers down his pale thighs, impulse and need overriding most if not all thought in this moment. The desperation that burned through Lawrence to feel you from the inside.You lift your hips accordingly as he paws at your underwear before they slip down your legs and carelessly discarded with everything else. Bare before each other, there’s the briefest moment between the way the two of you have been interlocked, drinking the other one in. Before Lawrence’s hands grip the meat of your hips and tugs you closer with a strength you usually thought was reserved for the warehouse, not that you minded. The feeling of his fingers digging into your skin, you certainly wouldn’t mind a little bruising if not more come morning.

“Just…Just stay still…Just let me…” He pants, his eyes clouded and glazed over, transfixed as he mumbles almost to himself and you arch your back just so to give him a better angle as one hand releases you to line his aching cock up to your sweet entrance.First he notches the bulbous head in and groans, chest heaving with every breath as you bite your lip with a soft whine- spurning him on, urging him to just push. And so he does, inch by inch, Lawrence spears you on his length and his eyes threaten to roll back into his skull. You feel divine; tight, wet, impossibly warm around him as you clench like a vice that his his hips already stutter the first time within you. Sweat already begins to bead his forehead as Lawrence’s jaw clenches- as tempting as it is, he couldn’t bear the embarrassment if he came undone within you so quickly.

You keen below him, hushed little murmur of, “Please…fuck, Law…need you, please.” While resting your hands on his shoulders with a little squeeze, you don’t mean to rush him, really you don’t- but you’d wanted this, thought about this, more times than you cared to count. And with a little liquid courage in your veins, you finally fucking had it. Had him.

And surely, he begins to rock his hips. The push and pull between you growing as Lawrence begins to rut within you, rhythm building and pressure mounting as you buck your hips in kind, pushing him deeper until his cockhead nudged against that delicious spot within you that made your lashes flutter and moans spill from your lips. Ordinarily, Lawrence wasn’t one for much noise- but the music muffled anything beyond your door and these sounds were for him and him alone. Shouldering your legs over his shoulders, Lawrence picks up his pace and his hips snap against you, heavy balls wetly slapping against your ass that has you squeak until you relax some in his grip. It leaves you helpless, putty as he fucks you into the mattress with reckless abandon now- your headboard knocking against the wall with each brutal thrust as he moans and grunts above you. While the sight of your is ever enticing, something Lawrence wants to burn into the folds of his brain, the need to feel close to you wins as he hunches over, nearly folding you in two. Hands bracing on the bed as he buries his face in the crux of your neck and shoulder as he kisses along the skin, breathing hotly into your ear as he continues to pump his cock into you. “...close…so…need to feel you…so warm…so fucking good…” Lawrence babbles to you, drunk on the euphoria as he feels pleasure coil hot in his stomach, on the brink.

So close.

“L-Law…’m not…a-ah, oh fuck…!” You gasp and choke on your words as you’re pinned below him, bliss drawn over your flushed features as your brain struggles to send words to your mouth, “...’m not gonna last...just like that, like that…!” You encourage as he surges with renewed vigor. Lawrence wants, no, needs to feel you come undone around. What you feel like when overcome with pleasure, what you look like, all of it. He grits his teeth before finding better use for his mouth, latching onto your throat to suckle a deep mottled mark into your skin that has you nearly scream into the room before he claps a hand over your lips to muffle it as he feels you contract around him. Convulsing, throbbing, spasming all around him in a way that Lawrence shuddering as his engorged cock finally empties itself within you, the excess forming a creamy ring around the base of his shaft and dripping down the plush swell of your ass onto the duvet. Ragged huffs fan over the hickey now left into your skin as Lawrence gives a few more languid, shallow strokes to enjoy the lingering feeling of you tightly wrapped around him as you try to catch your breath with a few low sounds of complacency. Sated, Lawrence almost begrudgingly lowers your legs carefully and his piercing eyes look up at you- trying to gage if you might be disappointed or upset, but instead is met with a bleary, satisfied smile and a breathy chuckle.

“...fuck, Law. I knew you had in you.” You mutter playfully before resting your arm over your sweaty forehead and Lawrence can feel his lips quirk ever so slightly. Something akin to pride settling in him slightly, but he remains knelt between your legs as a silence settles over the pair of you and you raise your arm to peek at him. Wordlessly, you pat shift and shuffle, peeling back the blankets and patting the spot next to you.

“But…your party…?”

“I’m pretty sure people heard and I’m pretty sure they didn’t. What’re they gonna do? Rob me? I don’t have shit.” You chuckle, though Lawrence seems to give pause and glance to the door. His reluctance seems to sober you some as you sit up slightly. “Uh…unless you wanted to go.” You try to keep your tone steady not to betray the tinge of hurt that creeps in all the same.

“No…! No, that’s not what I want…uhm…” Lawrence awkwardly scoots off your bed and grabs his boxers to tug on padding to your door and opening it a crack, peeking and listening for any other life in your apartment. The music had since stopped and it was still silence.With the knowledge your apartment is now empty, Lawrence locks your door for you before returning into bed and you just smile. The simplest thing, as if this was normal. Maybe it was, Lawrence sure as fuck didn’t know what that was, but this was nice. This was beautiful. You were beautiful.

Slowly, he moves to the other side of the bed and slides in beside you. Lawrence has not slept next to another person, honestly it was never something he thought he would like but it feels like it’s both what you want and what is expected. And frankly- it could be worse. “...Can I…?” He shuffles under the blankets, swathed in your detergent and perfume, his frame shifts over yours and his head presses to your chest where he can hear the steady beat of your heart. The intrusive thought rings in through his head that he could have it, have that piece of you forever. Sealing this moment forever between the two of you...but he pushes it to the back of his head. No, another part of him didn’t want that- as tempting as it may be. If he took that part of you, this wouldn’t be possible. And Lawrence wanted this, whatever this may be, and more of it. More of you. Sex. Intimacy. The touch and warmth of another living being. It was odd, it was still something Lawrence was trying to make sense of. A way that this could remain but you might still be wholly his. All his. Only his.

Lawrence’s reverie is broken only by your arms encircling him and hugging him close to you, one hand carding through his hair to keep his head pressed to your chest as you hum in contentment. “Night, Law.” You mutter with an affectionate kiss to his head as you reach an arm out to turn off your lamp and succumb to sleep. Lawrence lingered awake a while longer, his nocturnal nature something he was grateful for as he relished in the soft breaths while you slept, how your heart slows, the sweet silence as he curls around your body and eventually, an hour or so after observing you, Lawrence sleeps as well.

Eventually sunlight dapples through your blinds, making Lawrence crinkle his nose slightly- he wasn’t accustomed to this. Not that he slept poorly necessarily, but it would take a day or so to get his circadian rhythm back. But it hadn’t been a waste as you groggily rouse beside him with a sleepy smile. “...Hey.” You greet warmly, throat still raspy from sleep as you push some of his bangs from his face. “You sleep okay?” Lawrence nods slowly, drinking in this vulnerable vision of you as you yawn and roll to look at him on your pillow. “You want breakfast or something?” You offer up with that languid smile and something akin to adoration lingering in your eyes, the afterglow looked all the more prepossessing on you. “I have some of that tea still that I brought you a few days ago.”

He pushes up to sit and chews his lip for a moment. Maybe a part of Lawrence had hoped. Had known. “Uh…actually I, uh…I brought some tea for you. I can make us some.” He replies slowly, shifting his gaze to look at you, testing your reaction, if you would find it odd that he brought something besides the wine.

“Aw! Yeah, I’d love that.” You grin and sit up as well, moving to tug fresh underwear on and a large shirt, “You know where the kitchen is, the kettle is on the stove. I’m just gonna freshen up quick.” And with that you disappear into the bathroom while Lawrence prepares you his own specialty brew.

#lawrence oleander #btd lawrence #lawrence oleander x reader #btd lawrence x reader #btd x reader #boyfriend to death lawrence #boyfriend to death lawrence oleander #boyfriend to death #boyfriend to death x reader

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aaasbrutus · 5 months ago

Text

Stranger

ex-boyfriend! eddie munson x fem!reader

Summary: Eddie and Reader see each other for the first time in 4 years after breaking off their summer fling.

A/N: partially inspired by Stranger by Olivia Rodrigo (partially being the operative word)

Warnings: low key not proofread oops

Word Count: ~1.3k

— ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ —

Four years ago, you had left Hawkins, Indiana to go to University, and you haven’t been back since. University was an amazing yet tough 4 years. Going to school for your bachelor’s while working to make ends meet has been challenging yet you genuinely believed that you could be yourself freely without being trapped in the confines of such a small town. But when you received a letter in the mail that one of your childhood friends was getting married you booked a direct flight to your hometown right away.

While you were excited to go back home, to see your family and friends you were horrified to see someone in particular.

The day after your high school graduation you found yourself bored. You finally had the summer to yourself to completely relax and do whatever you want without having to worry about high school so you went to the arcade to pass the time, when you ran into Eddie Munson. Eddie and you never hung out in school. Sure, you knew who he was but you didn’t have any mutual friends and were a part of very different crowds so you didn’t know each other. And after a few rounds of beating each other at almost every game you could find, he asked you out and happily agreed.

The summer you spent with Eddie had to be the best summer of your life to date. It was spent sharing chocolate shakes at Benny’s, dancing around in Eddie’s room, watching Corroded Coffin practice and perform at the Hideout, and watching the worst B-side movies they could find at Family Video. You never felt love like that. The type of love that made you feel like time had completely stopped and you were to only two people in the world. But like all amazing things, it had to end.

At the end of August, you had to move into your dorm at university, while Eddie had to stay in Hawkins to repeat his senior year. You so desperately wanted to stay but Eddie advised you not to. You had worked hard for four full years to get into this school and he couldn’t see you give it all up for him.

Despite how much it pained you both, you agreed to break it off. Saying goodbye to the relationship you so cherished. Saying goodbye to the person you love to pursue other things. You, going to school to pursue a career in something you love. He, finishing high school so he can pursue his passion in music. You both felt you couldn’t be the best you could be if you were together, so you ended it.

The first few weeks in school were the absolute hardest. Of course, it was the first time you were completely alone; having to do everything for you, without having help from your parents. Your college courses were a lot harder than the classes you took in high school. And to top it all you were experiencing your first heartbreak.

Eddie Munson plagued your mind. He was all you thought about from the second you woke up, to the second you fell asleep. He even visited you in your dreams. You did everything in your power to not call him, not to write, because you were certain that if you were to contact him, you would succumb to your desires and give it all up to be with him, in Hawkins.

As soon as you booked your flight back to Hawkins, you knew there would be a very high possibility that you would see Eddie again. If it wasn’t at the wedding, it would probably be at the supermarket, or at Benny’s, or even in the car next to yours while at a traffic light. You thought of every single scenario in your head, how you would react to seeing him again, what you would say, and what you would respond if he were to ask you the same.

You didn’t want him to think that you were miserable without him, that you happily finished school and are very happy with where you are right now. But then again, you didn’t want to seem too happy. In all honesty, you haven’t dated since your summer with Eddie. You had never found anyone that interested you. Even when your friends set you up on blind dates (with and without your knowledge) you never felt that spark you once felt when you were with Eddie. You were desperately hoping that he had been the same way and if the opportunity arose, would want you two to get back together.

At the reception, you heard someone call your name. When you turned around there he was. His hair was longer, his face more mature, but the same Eddie you fell in love with years ago. Then again, he wasn’t the same. You haven’t seen or spoken to him in years. You had absolutely no idea what he had been up to. It was as if he was just a stranger. A stranger you knew almost everything about.

Seeing him was surreal. You weren’t sure if you wanted to run to him or run away from him. You stood in place, not sure of what to do, everything you had rehearsed in hopes of this moment forgotten. Thankfully, Eddie was braver than you, immediately walking up to you with a big smile on his face with his eyes sparkling with joy.

Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around you to give you a big hug, which you immediately reciprocated. It had been so long since you’d seen him, let alone touched him. He completely took over your senses and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Hi,” you whispered to him finally letting go of him. You were suddenly feeling flustered and embarrassed. However, unlike a few moments ago, you didn’t want to run away.

“Hi,” he whispered back. You stared into his beautiful brown eyes, with a smile on your face you could only hope was as beautiful as the one he was giving you.

As if nothing had changed, you and Eddie sat at a table and just talked. You talked about your experiences in university, the people you met there, and what you have planned next. Eddie talked about how even though it was hard to stay consistent with his attendance and school work, he finished high school after 2 more tries and he was now working as a mechanic while still performing weekly with his band.

Soon enough, everyone started to pick up their stuff and leave, leaving you and Eddie practically alone in the reception hall. Looking at the time, Eddie and you got up and walked to the parking lot, where Eddie gave you another hug. However, this time you couldn’t reciprocate it. You knew you had to leave, but you couldn’t, not again. You were petrified of saying goodbye to him, to never see him again. Or worse, to see him again after years of not keeping in touch, for him to be happily married with kids, leaving you alone forever, reminiscing what could’ve been.

Just as he let go, and was about to say goodbye you yelled at him, holding him as if your whole life depended on it, because maybe it did. You refused to let him go. You had to be in his life. Not as an acquaintance, not as a friend, but as a lover. You couldn’t see yourself falling for anyone else because Eddie Munson was it for you, and you were terrified of living without him again.

You were on the verge of sobbing, desperate for Eddie to listen to you and to agree. For him to also crave you, need you as you do him. Suddenly he puts his hands on your face, looking at you directly into your eyes, and kisses you. All of your fears vanished, replaced with a newfound happiness.

While the summer with Eddie was the best of your life, you hoped that now that the two of you were reunited you could experience that same spark, the same feeling every day that is to come. Because you truly felt that it was the start of the best days of your life.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ —

thanks for reading <33

main masterlist

𝓕𝓲𝓬𝓼 𝓷𝓪𝓶𝓮𝓭 𝓪��𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓼 <333

#stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fem!reader #eddie munson x fem!reader

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alexa-fika · 8 months ago

Note

I've finally reached the point in the anime where the cross guild is formed and addicted🙌

I don't mihawk wouldn't even think about letting buggy near child!reader, but what if reader snuck off to one of buggys shows and got caught by crocodile and/or mihawk?

Circus Escapade ( Cross guild x Gn!Dracule!child!Reader)

A/N Finished my essay ya’ll!! So I made this for you guys, sorry it took so long anon! Also idk how I feel about it, no idea why but the first word that comes to mind is surreal?

Reader here is replaced by Dokucha which means Reader in Japanese.

Dividers by @/saradika

Dokucha knew that what they were doing was likely to get them in trouble not only with their dad but their uncle would not be the happiest either

But they just wanted one small peek of the show, a small peek at what happened behind the tarp; that’s all they wanted

They grin, popping their head slowly over their hiding spot and watching as the different acts went about performing

The stage was filled with different acts performing, each one seemingly more outrageous than the other; some were dangerous, some were more comedic, and a few even seemed a bit off to the audience…but that was the point; it’s a circus after all

A new act has now taken the center stage, the lights dimmed and the curtains drawn as Buggy himself came out, using his devil fruit ability to perform various tricks

They grin, giggling at his comedic actions, watching enthralled as the different body parts move around independently

Buggy’s comedic act continued; his body parts continued moving all around, one arm reaching over, picking at his teeth, and one of his legs would do a silly little kick before each body part would come together again.

His act was rather amusing, and as the act reached his peak, he came over to the podium, extending his arms toward the audience

“Hahaha!! Applause, Applause, Applause!!,” he screamed, waving his arms around, trying to get the audience to clap for him

They laughed along with the audience, gleefully enjoying the act until they felt something lift them up

They squeak as they suddenly are brought right up to the ringmaster himself

“Well, looks like we have a break-in!” Buggy laughs but stills as he takes a closer look at them

“W-Wait, you’re Mihawk’s-

“Clown.”

Everyone turns their head at the sudden entrance of the ex-warlords; the circus growing eerily quiet, everyone too afraid to move a muscle in fear of angering the duo more

“Buggy…” Mihawk seethes, his eyebrows knit together, his tone of voice dangerously eery

Crocodile, while maintaining his usual stoic expression, holds back a low grow

Buggy’s expression changed when he saw the two enter, his body parts freezing into place, his eyes widening slightly as he gulped, his voice growing quieter as he spoke

“Cro-Crocodile, Mihawk…”

Buggy gulped, taking a few steps back as he spoke, “I ca- I can explain!”

“Do you think I care for explanations?” Mihawk glares at Buggy, his gaze becoming sharp; he takes a step closer

“W-Wait, I swear I had nothing to do with this. I didn’t bring them here!”

“Your hand on them tells a different story,” he growls, ripping way the hand from Dokucha and embracing them

“Tha-I swear I can explain. I didn’t know.”

“Dokucha.”

They flinch at their father's sharp tone, and although they were aware that the anger was not directed at them, they were also going to get one hell of a scolding

“Go to your room; I will come to talk to you after I'm done with him.”

They nod

“Sorry Papa”

“Now you,” Mihawk said coldly, looking at Buggy, who just stood there, sweating profusely, his entire body shaking in fear as the duo advanced on him.

“H-Hey, I'm sure we can talk this out.”

The last thing Dokucha heard as they flew out of the tent was the cries of the mercy of the crown; they flinched at the sound

“Oops…”

Did buggy probably die? Yeah, is everything Dokusha said to that oops? Yeah cause their a menace

Taglist:

@imaginarydreams

@amethystviolin

@h0n3y-l3m0n05

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findmeinthefallair · 2 years ago

Text

Hunter's Experiences After Belos's Death

Oops, this got long. Aw well, it was really fun to write.

Special thanks to @ashanimus!

This is speculative at the end of the day, but since:

1. This is my fave animated show of all time

2. I grew up with Complex PTSD (CPTSD) like Hunter

3. I work as a therapist,

I thought to list down some things I can visualize happening in the duration of the finale's timeskip, before that beautiful epilogue we saw. And I want to dive in using whatever clues, leads and parallels I can find in canon: to analyze and see how he went from the Bad But Sad Boy to that peaceful-looking palisman carver in the epilogue.

A small reference I had for this meta is Cinema Therapy's episode on the Hunger Games movies (link), since the protagonist, Katniss Everdeen, from the book and also movie trilogy would have the same diagnosis as Hunter. Those books and movies explored how Katniss coped with the frightening and dramatically different landscape that was the calmness of her world post-victory.

Part 1: His Possible Experiences Leading Up to Seeking a Therapist

His disposition could possibly become like Luz's from early Season 3: a state of emotionally shutting down and numbing out. He appeared to nearly head in this direction right after he was revived by Flapjack, as he began to cry. There was that small window where he could have expressed more tears than he did, and have his body shut down under the weight of bereavement.

But the immediate physical threat, Belos, was still on the run. He got up, sprang into action and didn't catch a break from the time he followed Belos through the portal until he stood in The Collector's palace after Belos died (had he even received the news of his 'Uncle' dying yet??!).

Now that Belos isn't around anymore, the Isles will have a completely different feel and rebuilding the land would've taken grueling work after the dismantling of a damaging Coven System.

I was looking at Luz's behavior and gestures in Thanks to Them, which were indicative of her sinking into depression after 1. the horrible revelation in Hollow Mind that she unintentionally helped Philip. 2. witnessing Flapjack's death. I'm putting screenshots of her below in parallel with Hunter's own emotions in For the Future:

They have different mental health conditions if you talk symptoms, e.g. Luz doesn't show signs of CPTSD hypervigilance, while Hunter doesn't have that slowing down in his physical and mental activity which points to depression. But both have suffered from moral injury thanks to Belos's violence and manipulation.

However, a major comparison is that Hunter has had much more repressed emotion over a long period compared to Luz. The column with Hunter screencaps above, is what he may feel with a much higher intensity in the weeks and months after he first hears that his abuser has passed on.

Shown below, the few seconds of Hunter's big smile drooping when it was all over, was a big hint for me:

A hint that there is a deep undercurrent of emotions he'd much rather not feel, that he'd probably rather hide from himself. Even while smiling, we know how his heart-wrenching story has played out and the light in his eyes here doesn't match the brightness we see in his expressions in the epilogue, post-timeskip.

That is the face of a kid who has not cried out massive amounts of tears yet. He doesn't look like he's carrying a light load yet, compared to what we see in his future self. And it's certainly a heavier smile than the jollier one he makes here right after King's Tide when Flapjack was still around:

I can't imagine the amount of grief that his body has yet to dredge up and release, once he finally doesn't have to worry about his 'uncle' threatening his life anymore. Too many times to count, I've been in the situation where I cry intensely after being retraumatized and think "Huh? More tears? Where did it come from?? I thought I had cried it all out from my whole being the last time!". It kind of convinced me that anyone with CPTSD has so much grief stored up in their body that the number of times needed to have a good cry feels like a really endless expanse.

However: because I had 7 years of being in and out of therapy, what matters is that the durations between these episodes of mine, the durations of the episodes themselves, plus their intensity have reduced a lot. It was around a 4-year timeskip in the finale, so for Hunter to get as far as he did to heal, his own therapy sessions would've probably been rigorous and very consistent.

Anyway, he might now cycle through his own version of what Luz cycled through when she gradually shuts down from failing to build a new portal door in Thanks to Them, continually believes she's as bad as Belos, and when she alludes to her suicidal ideation in the classroom:

whereby there is a likely parallel between Luz wrestling with guilt from her own moral injury, and Hunter's own guilt from what he wished he could've done to prevent being possessed, to prevent Flapjack from dying. Both their situations are that of moral injuries.

The adrenaline rush would be over for everyone on the Isles.

I'm quite sure the therapists on the Isles will operate pretty soon after the news about Belos's death was out. They would conduct whatever version of mental health triage they have, that involves risk assessments and crisis counselling. Both of these based on what I've learnt are shorter in duration (30 minutes) and are one-off sessions, compared to regular talk therapy which is an hour minimum.

The therapists would be redirecting people to necessary resources e.g. where to find food or loved ones, and managing distress only related to people's immediate needs instead of forming a longer term plan for several weekly sessions.

I believe things are simpler when you are running away from an external threat, like the two Hunter scenarios below. In Hollow Mind there is no emotion on his face because in peak C-PTSD mode he has shut down his emotions to pour that energy into escaping Belos. In Thanks to Them, he appears quite obviously scared with widened eyes because he got comfortable with safety for months and Belos's return was a surprise attack (thanks ashanimus for pointing out to me how his expressions are animated!):

But what is there to run from now? Not an external threat for sure. The war zone is now the one in his mind, heart and soul and it would become front and center. I believe both these screenshots are two notches on a dial, and the missing third image - which would show him finding it difficult to stuff down the grief any longer, might look like a more exasperated version of when he told Willow "Please don't call yourself [a Half-a-Witch] ever again" in For the Future, and eventually a more depressed version of his vanishing smile in The Collector's Palace.

When can he really run from himself? Only while asleep, if he's spared nightmares on any given night, or while distracting himself with the main mission of rebuilding the Isles or continuing to bond with his friends and other people.

His anger in For the Future was a telling sign for me that he made sure his focus was still on an external threat: he still had the opportunity to do so back then, because Belos was still alive. But when we see him in The Collector's palace sending Willow off to her dads, there has realistically been a shift in what will threaten the more fragile shreds of inner peace he's still clinging on to. There are those scary trauma-related emotions to worry about, which wouldn't have just evaporated into thin air. They would be looking for a new outlet, and they'll find their way into flashbacks, nightmares, tension still stored in the body, an exaggerated startle response, etc.

We have seen a range of reactions he has to danger, triggers and emotional pain: some involve moving his body more, and fewer involve a short of shutting down:

Flinching during Belos's tantrums, being able to fight Kikimora calmly, freezing up in the throne room (Hunting Palismen)

Suicidal ideation and even a sort of suicide plan (Eclipse Lake)

Freezing up and expecting punishment from Darius (Any Sport in a Storm)

Being able to stay almost entirely calm as he learnt more and more of the truth about Belos, though his hand was shaking briefly, then a panic attack later on (Hollow Mind)

Lots of avoidance symptoms like numbing, combined with hypervigilance e.g. shivering and another panic attack (Labyrinth Runners)

Feeling fear with underlying shame and subconsciously expecting punishment, when he failed to save Luz (Clouds on the Horizon)

Freezing and recoiling, though he fought against this by asserting a boundary with Belos (King's Tide)

Panic attack when looking into the mirror and having an emotional flashback, hypervigilance e.g. stamping his foot and shivering (Thanks to Them)

Anger and rage to cope with bereavement, later being tearful (For the Future)

Most likely a sense of bereavement, deep exhaustion and possibly loneliness, during that briefly shown moment in The Collector's Palace (Watching and Dreaming)

The serious work he has to put in to heal from his trauma would begin once his whole body gives in to the exhaustion, catching up with the bereavement-related emotions that have also begun to settle in. It could be a massive emotional and physical collapse that he can't fight off, where his physical energy levels become tanked seemingly out of nowhere. And I think it would look like a worse version of him lying in his makeshift grave, where he is barely able to move around the house or anywhere for some time.

This happened to Katniss in the Hunger Games trilogy, and while the portrayal was done differently in the books and movies, both were good explorations of what it's like to shift from the default high alert (and long-term) mode of CPTSD to coping with the scary unknown world of newfound safety. Katniss spent her childhood in poverty and being constantly on edge that she might be chosen for the Hunger Games, being parentified, to provide for her family.

While participating in the games, she had to utilize battle skills and kill others to survive and sustained many injuries, still constantly on high alert whereby any respite would last for incredibly short durations. Towards the end of the story, after she loses the one she loved most (her sister Prim, who I think can be a parallel of Flapjack in this meta), Katniss shifts from peak physical activity into mostly sleeping and being actively suicidal for months, hardly moving and not leaving the house, until the shock of traumatic grief began to wear off. She absolutely crashed and went from one extreme to the other. In the movie Mockingjay Part 2, they added a non-book scene where her grief comes out in an outburst when she sees their pet cat hanging around on the kitchen counter. She flings an object in the cat's direction, then screams "[Prim] is gone!!" repeatedly before collapsing into heavy sobs, picking up the cat and holding it to her chest to soothe herself.

This kind of major collapse might happen very soon to Hunter after he leaves The Collector's Palace or only after some weeks. The timing of this, I can't predict. The reason why he didn't appear to have this issue in the early months being in the human realm is because there was still something external to concentrate on: help his friends get back to the Human Realm, help Luz reunite with Eda and King, while him and Flapjack hoped to go home too.

You could argue that even now, he still has something external to focus on i.e. helping the others rebuild the Isles. However I keep imagining that the people who love him are going to be quite adamant in getting him, Luz and the other kids to please rest. Since we saw Steve recommend his therapist to Lilith in O Titan Where Art Thou, I can picture the adults in particular monitoring how Hunter is doing without Flapjack.

But if this collapse I'm speculating about doesn't happen so soon, he would be pouring himself into helping others, referencing his character-centric line all the way back in Hunting Palismen about wanting to offer help, which he utters twice in that episode. There is an overlap between this expectation he has of himself and the old habit he's at risk of falling back into periodically: overworking.

Once his desire to help others is clearly comes across as an avoidance tactic on the outside - a maladaptive coping mechanism to run from the very difficult emotions that he should be processing - people around him are definitely going to set boundaries and say "No" to any attempts he makes to assist them. Someone is probably going to tell him that whatever desperation he is showing in wanting to help other people, needs to be redirected at himself. Making time and space for himself, taking time off to rest.

Him suffering from a major emotional and physical collapse is pretty likely because things are more complicated (though, physically much much safer) for him now than at the beginning of Thanks to Them when he had just fled from Belos to the human realm, and had Flapjack as his closest company. Fast forward to the victory won in Watching and Dreaming: both Flapjack and Belos are gone now.

It's telling that different thoughts are occupying Hunter's mind now, from how his expressions are drawn during his first days in the human realm vs. when peace is restored in the Isles.

1. See the sense of calmer urgency in his expression, putting the mission of building the portal door first, while experiencing a strong sense of togetherness with his friends, and learning to trust Camila who is treating him well:

compared to

2. the sheer exhaustion and feeling of "What now...?" (see his upper eyelids below?) that set in, once he helped Willow find her parents and there was no more task at hand that didn't involve himself. His bright smile from a split-second ago has drooped and disappeared:

I know that right after the above frame, Darius and Eberwolf reunited with him, but his emotions are going to cycle up and down in the hours, weeks and months ahead. The elation from seeing Darius and Eber - people who were there to greet him when he expected nobody to turn up - is not going to last, though it will certainly come and go, because high-running positive emotions like that don't last as long, especially in the context of the life he's had as a child soldier. It's totally possible that on the same night, hours after this reunion with their loved ones, their emotions will shift drastically.

The tired look in his eyes above and the sad face he then makes, is in between two moments of him having something external to focus on (Willow and then Darius). I'm inclined to think that the above depressed look reflects a lot of the complexity that is going on underneath the surface. What is his state of mind when alone with his thoughts, when he has zero tasks to perform? How is he handling those thoughts?

There will be a deep, sometimes mind-numbing sense of bereavement over two significant figures in his life. First Flapjack, now this:

He used to love Belos. But I'm really not sure he can just uproot that love from deep within and discard it. Hunter carries memories like the following ones around which will be confusing to navigate on tougher days, despite being able to tell Luz "That's what Belos does, he tricks people". Because these were his formative years:

and something tells me that Philip was cunning enough to strike a delicate balance between being 'nice' to Hunter like above, versus unleashing his violent temper to terrify and harm him. Making sure that balance was so close to 50/50 that it would leave a child very confused. So confused he would rather believe he's never good enough rather than the more frightening prospect that his so-called family does not actually love him at all.

Hunter will have a moment now and then of still missing the 'niceness' that his 'uncle' showed towards him (felt in his heart and subconscious), while still knowing (in his head, rationally) that Philip was not genuine when treating him that way.

To note though, he did not witness Belos's death which reduces the severity of intrusive images that the poor kid would see in his mind.

What I'm worried about is how he'll handle the news about the grimwalker graveyard, since I'm sure that location is going to be scoured and Darius would want to give his mentor a proper sending off. They'd want to give all the Golden Guards and Caleb a sending off and pay their respects. This might add to what I suspect will be the messed up depression he'll fall into.

It will be very confusing and emotionally disorienting, literally not needing to worry about anyone killing him anymore. He has had no point of reference for this in his life at all. It might possibly the furthest he ever goes from that primal survival instinct he had while living in the Castle for so long, which took up the majority of his life so far:

There will also be the added layer of how he feels about those first emotions. This is literally a concept called Feelings About Feelings and it's a key part of my work since I use the Satir Model in my style of counselling. We don't just feel emotions, we also tack on our own judgments and evaluations about them. E.g. shame about feeling anger, guilt about feeling sad because of burdening others, or even a combination like fear about feeling joy which can show up in healing from bereavement.

Depending on how we feel about whichever emotions got there first, it makes a difference because we could be adding or subtracting unnecessary suffering from the first emotion, especially if the first emotion is an already unpleasant one.

I have a feeling that we'd see Hunter look very very tired, till he makes breakthroughs in therapy. A tiredness that sleep, a healthy diet and exercise alone simply cannot fix. Because there's an entire upbringing in the Emperor's Coven to sort through in his head, this time not combined with the avoidance of having fled to the human realm and living under one roof with his friends.

The Hexsquad are not living under the same roof anymore, they are reunited with their own families with much to emotionally talk out, and the group no longer has a very urgent single collective mission. Sure, Hunter has an active role to play in rebuilding the Isles, but what about rebuilding his very self? He has the steepest climb, because we have seen the symptoms he exhibits.

Most of all, referencing a section of my Retraumatization and Self-Soothing (Part 1) meta (link), a memory as horrible as this:

will likely be the most intrusive image is going to be replaying again and again over the months to come, and it may flood his thoughts during moments of being triggered or even out of nowhere during quiet moments for no apparent reason. It will be just like a broken record, where the same small excerpt of a song loops endlessly until the needle of the gramophone is repositioned.

It was remarkably poignant that his final words to Belos were "And most of all, I'm going to make sure you never hurt anyone again", and I'm happy with the story keeping it this way and understand why the writers likely made this decision - not just because the season was shortened. Hunter did not need to directly see or hear more from Belos in close quarters, not after his abuser minimized his needs for years, gaslit him, possessed him and got him to murder his best friend with his own hands.

It's more straightforward to make sure someone else isn't hurting anyone. It's easier to think of what plans to implement, when it comes to him protecting others: which he has had plenty of practice with. Because those are practical methods that we can see in action on the outside.

But here's the kicker: what about applying that last grand statement from his TTT speech to himself, emotionally: making sure he isn't psychologically hurting himself with harmful unhelpful thoughts and beliefs, after Belos's death? "I'll make sure I don't hurt myself (and by extension, my loved ones) again".

This will be very new to him, and it is a theme that I handle in pretty much every client case in my therapy work. The client's self-dialogue, the self-compassion or lack thereof. Which, in real life, is often not a concept that our own families and schools introduce to us to be familiar with.

For Hunter, this may translate into him making the decision to get help and truly accepting the gift of life that Flapjack gave him.

Basically this on a much bigger scale:

whereby in Flapjack's absence, he can truly believe in this new and positive fundamental belief about himself. The evidence that he managed to make it to that heartbreaking but incredibly beautiful place is pretty strong:

But before his happy ending, the pressure on himself to be useful to others via helping and working is likely going to come back and be used as his way of coping, and there's a chance it will cross the line into becoming a form of self-harm that he's relying on to avoid the frightening, deeper emotional pain. People around him know him well enough that they'll be able to spot his behavioral changes and then sense he is not going in a helpful direction. They'll see that it's hurting him even though it's the most familiar territory for his mind to be in, and someone is going to tell him to change that.

He's going to be seeing his friends with their palismen. How will it be like being among them, even if they are pretty good at supporting him? How would he attempt to make sense of the void that is the absence of the incredible love he experienced from that first friend, the absence of that mental link between witch and palisman?

What emotions could be lurking beneath the surface? Believe it or not, there are some signs from Luz's nightmare even though yes, Hunter was being controlled by The Collector. I wouldn't quickly dismiss this dark Flapjack-related scene as 100% being about The Collector's goal to scare Luz in the nightmare.

I think there was a smaller subplot going on as well.

The Collector needed material to work with in the first place, to perform the puppet acts: the material was whatever fears and whatever pain was already there in their targets.

The Collector didn't create Hunter's emotions from scratch for the puppet act; instead he manipulated and redirected what existed at the base level. All this wouldn't work as analogies of mental illness vs. mental health if The Collector could just engineer emotions on their own and simply replace whatever his puppet targets were already feeling. Emotions never vanish and always take up space somewhere, they are redirected, transformed or channeled into outlets even if it means they become repressed or locked away. But they never stop existing.

I have a feeling that despite the nightmare being Luz's, despite Hunter being used as an instrument for The Collector to achieve their goals...the pre-existing emotions that Hunter himself felt in his body, not puppet!Hunter's verbal responses towards Luz, were true. He is a haunted boi.

This face he makes above might be a hint at the worst of his pain. It might be the furthest he has felt from when he said "I like who I am right now" to Flapjack. In the place of that confidence from before, there might now be his own version of Luz's "I'm as bad as Belos". I cannot be entirely certain, but the negative belief that may have taken root in him could be "I am not deserving of the life Flapjack gave me".

Interestingly, if this is the case, it could easily parallel his line from all the way back in Any Sport in A Storm: "I'm unfit to wear the sigil of the Golden Guard." It's definitely a possibility, since Hunter is now faced with having a lot of time and space now, and less urgency than he's ever had in his life, to think back on all those times he helped to further Belos's cause. Especially when it came to sending many palismen to their deaths.

With his own palisman now dead, the engraving we would eventually see on Flapjack's grave: "Thank you for finding me", would be the destination. But the journey needed to reach that destination of amazing gratitude in the first place...must have been a harrowing one. In the early months of the acute grief, it would've been more like "Why did you have to find me?! You shouldn't have. Then none of this would've happened". Not forgetting the number of times Hunter has replayed in his head what he could've done differently, trying so desperately to rewind the clock and make that better alternate timeline a reality.

If you remove The Collector and even Luz from the equation in the Luz nightmare scene, Hunter may well be having such responses - the ones that puppet!Hunter directed at Luz to blame Luz - as a dialogue with himself. He might direct those negative emotions towards himself since he's so careful about hurting others and has taken on unfair punishment for so much of his life.

Even when he was temporarily himself, smiling, expressing a positive emotion to encourage Luz with "What's the first thing you do when you wake up from a bad dream?", that was him conversing with another person, someone external. Not his own self. I am willing to bet he wasn't at a point in his arc where he would smile at himself like that and easily encourage himself in the same way.

While we can be certain he had already reached his breakthroughs by the time we saw him post-timeskip, he has not experienced them yet in the frame above. He has not felt (yet) what Luz felt onscreen when she had breakthroughs in relation to her moral injury:

Taking a leap of faith to accept the Titan's gift, to trust that he chose her because she has a good heart and will never be Belos.

Then later, being able to stand firm, believing she truly is good ("I am the Good Witch Luz!"), and not uttering a word to Belos as he died - which was post-traumatic growth beyond how she broke down under his threats and manipulation towards the end of Hollow Mind and later in King's Tide.

Recap time. In the (quite likely) long period that passes by before we meet his new palismen, he's likely going to want to jump into action and attend meetings with Darius, Eberwolf and co, help to physically rebuild things and organize people with his own Coven Head experience. Leaning back on the ingrained and familiar lifestyle of pouring himself into work and gearing towards burnout is certainly a risk to watch out for.

The Hexsquad, CATTs and the Clawthorne sisters are going to notice his behavior and likely urge him to get appropriate rest and seek help.

However, there is the other extreme: Belos isn't around anymore to torment him, and Hunter would know this in the rational sense (head knowledge). Which leads to the possibility that he may swing towards shutting down as opposed to overworking tendencies. He would feel allowed to do whatever he wants, in this new Boiling Isles, and he had months of opportunities to do that in the early part of Thanks to Them before Belos's return.

What I'm getting at is, if he didn't sleep enough before, he might swing towards sleeping too much after finally collapsing from the familiarity of survival mode into unknown but genuinely safe territory. If he cared too much about helping others before, he might swing towards a depressive state of apathy (the closest canon reference point would be him digging his grave: he was very disarmed in that scene to even think much about helping anyone including Belos). This is why the screenshot I used of his smile drooping in The Collector's Palace, feels like a big clue to me. This would be where Darius, Camila and other adults have to seriously keep watch over him.

In the Cinema Therapy episode I had as a small reference for this post, the licensed therapist who hosts the series mentions that "It takes a lot longer to put oneself back together than it took to fall apart." In Hunter's case, the "falling apart" period here refers to that collapsing I mentioned. It would be the time between:

1. the grief hitting him in full force: when he subconsciously understands and acknowledges that Flapjack isn't coming back (which...will involve hell of a lot of wailing and sobbing. Him having a full version cry of those first few tears he shed at the end of TTT),

and

2. the time when the painful shock from feeling the full force of the grief has decreased enough that it plateaus.

This falling apart stage may need to pass before he seeks therapy. If he tries going for sessions while still going through that shock and pain, it might be too much for him.

As terrible and sad as it sounds, a deep dark spiral like this might be necessary. It would be his body and mind wanting to compensate for several years' worth of unnatural hypervigilance which wasn't serving him in a advantageous way (i.e. surviving) any longer. His body and mind begging for rest at last, to try and make sense of everything that happened. This big collapse into depression would empty out the old and free up much room in him for new stories, beliefs and perspectives to take root. Depression is, after all, the body's attempt to (maladaptively) try and protect us by numbing us, or else we would be overwhelmed.

As someone whom we know keeps himself very busy, this could be the period where he is the furthest he has ever been from that old simpler life. Because his CPTSD-ridden body would be demanding more than ever that he compensates for a childhood and teen years' lack of general rest, he may not even have the strength to cope the way he did before. The only way he might possibly cope in this period is to go with the flow of that raging current and do exactly what his body is asking of him: getting real rest.

Like what happened with Katniss in the Hunger Games trilogy, this early grieving stage would emotionally be difficult and terrifying, like walking along a tightrope, finding balance between left and right to angle yourself as straightly as possible and walk forward. (the tightrope metaphor is what I use with some of my clients to explain swinging between extremes of coping mechanisms).

The missing pieces of the puzzle in his arc, in the 4-year duration before the timeskip, might be his own version of these points in Luz's arc:

where she sank lower before she realized her deepest wish and emotionally experienced her worst fear in her Watching and Dreaming nightmare.

For Hunter, these could look like the following:

Like Luz saying it'd be better for everyone that she permanently stays in the human realm, Hunter might say he wants to remove himself from his loved ones in some way, for good. Whether a literal suicide attempt (like Katniss from The Hunger Games) or not, I can't say for sure.

A parental figure trying to reach out to him, saying he is deserving of Flapjack's gift. But he still struggles to believe that. What matters though is this parental figure is present and he's not pushing them away.

Him hearing some confirmation of his deepest negative belief about himself, in his own nightmares. Like Luz hearing the most terrifying things she could ever hear - Amity's "You've been the real villain this whole time" and "But for the sake of everyone you hurt, I challenge you to a witch's [duel]".

Him being able to reach an emotional space where he can begin to question that unhelpful belief: "Am I really deserving of Flapjack's gift?", or something similar.

The big moment when he finally tells someone how he really feels about the possession, Belos's death, Flapjack's absence in this new supposed peace and quiet....this would be the important invitation for the other person to connect and meet his emotional needs, and is a lot like how support groups for addiction work: a client needs to acknowledge that they are struggling with a problem, not avoiding it with distractions any longer, and then seek help and express their need for said help.

I suppose the question is how soon Hunter might decide to accept professional help and give it a go: or whether he'd have the genuine need for space first and say "I need some time". Because one's rational mind can be ready to go for therapy, but their subconscious and body would find it too unpleasant if it's too soon. Every part of him would have to be ready to begin putting himself back together after the falling apart stage occurs.

The messed up experience of CPTSD is that you stay shockingly calm during real danger, but on the flip side have big, disproportionate freakouts during actually safe times. Compare how calm Hunter was when he smiled at Luz in her nightmare while he was tied up with puppet strings vs. his fear and shame when he couldn't save Luz in Clouds on the Horizon.

In a CPTSD memoir I read, the author describes that it was horribly frightening to hear her partner be in a bad mood and wash the dishes more loudly than usual, while during the pandemic, she felt completely calm seeing empty shelves in a supermarket when she struggled to get supplies.

From my own experience, I have experienced being pretty damn calm when bleeding out and needing hospitalization. But in a different year before that, I recall one afternoon alone in my house right before a vacation where a strong gust of wind very loudly slammed an open door shut next to where I happened to be standing, and I broke down sobbing from a retraumatization via an emotional flashback. Because it felt extremely real as if my abusive parent was lashing out to physically hurt me.

After a 5-year period of mostly being in talk therapy, and then a 2-year period of regularly scheduled EMDR therapy, my response if I have a door loudly slam shut near me now would maybe be a smaller-scale flinch and a flash of anger that would last about maybe a minute. Which is miles better than sobbing for half an hour and being dissociated and frozen in a memory for hours before I thaw out of that flashback.

Since the show's writing is just that good, I could look at Luz's depressive symptoms manifesting in Thanks to Them and see a likely parallel in Hunter's story moving forward, since we know how much this show also digs neat and tidy parallels. These are characters written for TV after all, so they'd have to fit a formula to an extent, to have compelling arcs and reach high and low points along said arcs.

Part 2: Therapy Itself

Part 1 was the setup to give a good amount of context: now for the technicalities of the therapy sessions themselves:

Like Adrian Graye said in Labyrinth Runners, Illusion Magic can sort through memories. We have seen from Gus's own powerful Illusion abilities that he could do so with Belos. It makes sense that a therapist does this in sessions to have a magnified version of how in our world, therapists exercise empathy by imagining what it is like to be their clients:

I would monitor whether his mood (what he is feeling within) and affect (how the emotions appear on the outside e.g. tone of voice, face expressions) are congruent. Congruence usually means a client is in less distress. Incongruence might mean they are in so much pain that they can't connect directly with the main emotion: the perfect example of this being Hunter laughing when digging his grave.

We therapists take note of aspects such as affect, mood, the client's motor activity, any indicators of psychosis, even down to things like how untidy their hair looks in case we get clues about the severity of their issues (this is called a Mental Status Exam, and we write what we see in our case notes per session).

Because CPTSD is so relationship-centric, I'd discuss how he's getting along with new parental figures (the Belos replacements who will heal him so much and change his life forever!) and friends.

If the Boiling Isles therapists use their own equivalent of EMDR therapy, which is theorized to be like a waking version of how REM sleep and REM-related dreams help our brains to sort through memories, it sounds like a great fit for his case. This intervention involves subconscious work and could help him reshape how he experiences memories of Flapjack and Belos. EMDR clients are expected to see vivid images popping up without control in their mind during the sessions, and they are quite symbolic e.g. seeing a grey sky often indicates grief, seeing lighter colors indicates more calm. This technique helps a client's subconscious rewrite their story the way they'd like it to be, and install new positive beliefs and emotions over time.

My own example of EMDR experiences from the second half of 2019 as a client, is it majorly changed how I related to my own abuser, got me to finally feel allowed to emotionally break away from her, even though she is still alive and even lives in the same building.

In the early sessions, I saw an image of my 5-year-old self being forced to wear an ugly grey apron that my abuser used for baking. The apron is a real object, not fictional, and the emotions I felt showing up were matching with the image: feeling very uncomfortable seeing a visual representation of my abuser's hold over me.

But in a later session after a few months, guided by my therapist, I saw a vivid image of my abuser receiving a sea burial. She was lying peacefully on the water surface and sank down until she was gone. That was me subconsciously burying any expectation that she could ever provide what I needed. This was so powerful that I could go home after that session and permanently (so far) be significantly calmer around my abuser.

Therefore if Hunter goes through something like this, he'd potentially be able to put Belos to rest and have it feel very real and true: and have significantly reduced distress about Belos-related memories. There is the potential for powerful breakthroughs for him here, especially also related to Flapjack's death and how challenging it might be to carve palismen in the beginning. Especially since in the worst case scenario, even touching palistrom wood might be enough to badly trigger him. I cover this particular point a bit more in my other meta, Retraumatization and Self-Soothing (Part 1).

We would also be discussing what he's implementing into his routine and what may benefit him. I would be seeing if he is able to laugh about things, be motivated enough to be outdoors and among people, experience pleasure when creating new things, and form closer bonds with parental figures (what I just listed is to do with neurotransmitters in the brain that increase mental health: serotonin, endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin).

If I were his therapist I might suggest that whatever volunteering tasks he does, he carries those out with his friends, and time should be allocated to managing and taking care of a specific demographic: children. Because I think it'd be a safe, low stakes form of unfamiliarity for him to have enough emotional distance from his traumatic memories. Early months of acute grief usually require such emotional distance.

Having a good dose of an environment like that alongside the other tasks where he's working alongside Darius etc, could help him because kids' emotions are less complex, and their infectious laughter and fun-loving nature may play a role in helping him be more open with his own inner child. His therapist would be seeking to draw out that inner child in their sessions, and that little child would need to feel safe enough to emerge.

Importantly, his future palisman: it would've been interesting if he did what Luz did with Stringbean and allowed the palisman to be whoever they wanted to be...that would've been a nicely organic process. But even if he had a good idea to incorporate a Flapjack-like design but change details like the color, I'm sure he thought it through very well. I'm certain that this was a major topic of discussion at some stage of his therapy. Discussing the guilt he'd feel about replacing Flapjack vs. still taking Flapjack with him in a new way.

Coming from a strengths-based angle: paying attention to which of his individual strengths he is shows and recounts in the session. If he needs reminding, I could give him a simple worksheet listing various positive qualities and ask him to circle/colour in which ones he feels he has, which then prompts further discussion and questions. Lastly, a powerful tool called reframing e.g. if he says he's worried about being a nuisance to his friends, I'll point out how much he cares about their comfort and affirm that place of kindness.

Work on inviting self-compassion into how he sees himself. Is he able to view himself the way he views his friends? If he remembers the encouragement he gave to Luz about "turning on the light", I would ask him what that would look like in his own life, symbolically.

Hunter's own life has been a really really bad dream for a very long time. He himself has to reach for that light switch and choose to heal by embracing Flapjack's ultimate gift to him.

And we can rest assured that Hunter did that.

Because this post-traumatic growth right here?

This looks like multiple breakthroughs have taken place while he's been receiving consistent care from an excellent community. And there's no way it was an easily won victory. It has been very much hard-won, after how dark the story became in Hollow Mind and Thanks to Them, and it looks like whatever breakthroughs he had left him pleasantly surprised.

It doesn't seem like his heart and soul can contain this much joy and hope, without a very painful dismantling to have taken place first, to make room for the most unexpected treasures to fill his life back up.

The joy becomes even greater if you never would've expected it in your wildest dreams.

#toh hunter #toh analysis #toh spoilers #the owl house #loz writes a meta

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ltghosty · 2 years ago

Text

Violation (Simon "Ghost" Riley ﾒ Female "Cobra" Sergeant)

A/N: Thank you for 25 followers and the love for my first fanfic, it means a lot :)

Summary: You disobey Ghost's order and go after Soap to help him finish Graves which leaves Riley furious.

Warnings: blood, curse, angst

Wordcount: 5.4k (got a little carried away, oops)

”You heard me,” Ghost replied dryly. ”You don’t have to work under my watch if you feel like obeying my orders would be too difficult for you.”

You would have never expected to come this far.

After a few years of being on the field, you lost count of how many times you played death.

Sometimes it terrified you how close you had come to falling out of the game.

There was a time you were counting with Soap, making a race of who had cheated death more times. But that was until Ghost ordered you two to stop it. He didn’t find close death calls that amusing, not even when trying to let his guard down a little.

Ghost also hated if someone disobeyed his orders. He was a lieutenant, after all, it was his job as a superior to send orders and come up with plans.

And it was your job to listen to him and obey without a question.

But it was quite a fury when your brain went to a battle against your heart.

In such a situation, what do you listen to? Your morality or your feelings?

After Price had fallen with his plane, you were about to go with Ghost to secure that site and help him.

When you heard Soap’s heavy cough on the radio while Graves was coming closer to him, you were hiding behind a wreck while Ghost was a few meters away.

You knew that this time was different.

Soap was dying, and Rodolfo was not answering his calls. Your heart missed a beat when realization sunk in.

As far as you were concerned, Ghost didn’t need you. He was an excellent fighter and shot after all, if anything, you would have only slowed him down.

You were good at your job but you couldn’t reach up to Ghost.

None of you could.

However, Ghost didn’t even want to hear about you returning to the training ground where Soap and Rodolfo had gone to.

”Cobra, you stay where you are.” Ghost’s voice was serious and impatient while he was trying to clear his path toward Price.

”Soap and Rodolfo are in trouble!” you beamed as the rain of bullets sieging your cover hasn’t come to an end yet.

Ghost turned his head in your direction, his eyes widening when he saw the determined look on your face.

”Cobra, do not leave my side, do you hear me?” Ghost raised his voice to overcome the loud snap of bullets.

You knew that Ghost would be fine if you left. Sometimes his lethal tactics made you feel like he was born with knives.

”I’ll have to help them.”

Ghost’s eyes were storming with his rage as you didn’t even try listening to him.

”Cobra, I won’t repeat myself.” Ghost was losing the little patience that has left in his body.

Realizing that he’d never give you a green light about your choice, you tightened your grip on your gun and made a run for it when Ghost turned away to shoot the enemies.

You heard him shout your name raucously in the distance when he realized that you were gone.

You almost stopped running by the firmness in his voice that made the hair on your arms stand.

He was mad, furious even and you knew that after the end of the day, he would not praise you if you succeeded.

Ghost hated if someone was disobeying him, you knew that, and still, even though it was the right thing to do, you felt guilty that you played him like that.

You’ve never crossed the line with Ghost, never.

You’d be lucky if he’d be able to trust you again.

When the explosion happened, you thought that the world was splitting for a second. The ground was shaking and even though you protected your head, several pieces of ruins have cut into your skin wherever they could.

It took more than a minute for your ears to start functioning again as Soap was coming over to you. He was just as dirty and bloody as you were.

”Cobra, are you with me?” Soap asked, kneeling down next to you with a wince.

Your face flinched as you took a piece of rock out of your face, feeling your blood fighting a way down your cheek through the dirt.

”I think so,” you whispered. Your head felt both empty and heavy at the same time.

The flames of the tank were dancing in Soap’s eyes as he studied you before sitting down with a groan.

Rodolfo joined you two with a frown on his face as he pressed his hand against his abdomen.

”Did I win this time?”

You narrowed your eyes. Soap’s humor didn’t know boundaries. The man has almost died and he still had enough energy to joke around.

”You wish, MacTavish.”

You shared a brief laugh with Soap at the absurdity of the situation.

Rodolfo leaned in with furrowed eyebrows, ”What’s so funny?”

You shook your head and wiped the blood off your face. You didn’t want to ruin Rudy’s innocent mind, he probably wasn’t the type to make fun of deadly situations anyway.

Probably because he was normal, you thought.

There was a moment when you thought that everything would end before the explosion. You’ve never been more scared or startled when you felt pure fear tightening your chest.

You’ve witnessed many deaths and explosions but this time was different. Knowing the person, serving with him, cracking jokes like real friends, who were about to kill you in a heartbeat was worse.

Betrayal was one of the things that left a bitter feeling inside you because your duty was built on trust and loyalty.

And without any of those, everything would fall apart.

Soap touched the radio on his chest, ”Soap to Ghost. I’m with Cobra and Rudy. Graves is KIA. How’s Price?”

There was only a beat of silence before Ghost’s voice could be heard.

”Angry. Lost a good cigar in the crash… Pilot’s okay too. Out.”

You shivered at the coldness in Ghost’s voice. After all, you would have expected him to be relieved that everyone made it but the distance he had put up was a clear sign of his annoyance toward you.

”Hey, everything all right?” Soap nudged your shoulder then hissed when pain stabbed through his arm.

”Ghost is really mad at me.”

This was the first time you pushed your luck with Ghost and considering that he was practically your boss, it scared you.

You knew that you did the right thing but your stomach turned into a knot at the thought of having to face Ghost in the next half hour.

”He’ll come around,” Soap said. ”You saved our lives.”

”Yes but he didn’t want me to come here at all. You should have seen him, he was furious.”

Soap sighed and pulled his knees to his chest before leaning his elbows on them.

”You did the right thing.”

But should doing the right thing make you feel this guilty and scared?

Taking your time, the three of you left the tank behind, facing the other part of the group.

Soap kept talking to you while you were helping him walk on the cement but your calmness left your body when you saw Ghost in the distance with Price.

When he looked at you for a brief moment, his eyes turned cold as he watched you approach.

”He’s probably mad because I’m alive,” Soap tried to brighten your mood with a joke and you let yourself smile a little.

”Nice try, Sergeant.”

It meant a lot to you that Soap tried to help you relax a little bit. You’ve been through one hell of a day after all.

Which could be only crowned with Ghost’s disappointment.

It didn’t take him much time to let his anger run through his veins once you’d come to a stop.

”Are you out of your fucking mind?!” Ghost asked.

His voice cut through you like a knife and you hated to see that you burnt down a bridge between you and him.

”Lt…” Soap started.

”I’m talking to Cobra, Sergeant.” Ghost snapped with venom in his voice.

”Thank you for sending her to us. We would have died without her.” Rodolfo spoke up after taking his skull mask off.

At first, you thought that Rudy was stepping on thin ice, lying to Ghost but also trying to make him understand that they needed you.

Ghost weighed Rudy’s words for a moment before his eyes found you again. You could see every possible hostile feeling flashing through them when you were only looking for relief.

”Yes, don’t be harsh on her, Lt.” Soap said and tightened his grip around you.

Ghost’s eyes dropped to Soap’s hand holding into your shoulder before he let out a deep breath.

You didn’t want the boys to take responsibility for your rushed actions, so you cleared your throat.

”Can I talk with Ghost?” You asked and Soap looked down at you. ”Alone.”

Rudy and Soap shared a knowing look before Soap withdrew his arm and let Rudy lead him away to Price who looked more than pissed about his wasted cigar.

Ghost was silent for a minute while the boys left the era. He had his arms crossed, his eyes were unreadable.

You waited for him to lash out and bring you down with words that he knew would leave a trail behind in your heart.

But Ghost didn’t say anything.

Even if he was still angry, he kept in himself while glaring into the distance, taking heavy breaths.

You watched his chest rise and sink a few times before you collected the strength you needed to speak up.

”I know what you want to say,” your voice was calm and vulnerable.

He took a sharp breath before he shook his head, still not looking at you.

”You have no idea what I want to say right now.”

Suddenly, he felt like a stranger which hurt your feelings because you’ve been through so much together that you wouldn’t have thought that saving his best friend would piss him off like that.

Perhaps, he didn’t have a problem with you saving Soap but how you’d completed that.

Ignoring his orders, not listening to him, or maintaining the danger that was waiting for you.

It would have ended in a way you wouldn’t have even thought about it.

”I had to go back for them. They needed help.”

Ghost snapped his head toward you, his eyes piercing through you.

”You disobeyed me, Cobra.” Ghost lowered his voice. ”You made it pretty clear back there that I’m not your lieutenant and that you are ready to run to your death once you have the opportunity.”

His words didn’t surprise you but that didn’t erase the pain they caused.

”That’s not true.”

”No?” Ghost echoed, his voice shifting for a second. ”Tell me then. Did you even think about what could happen?”

You didn’t say anything but still answered his question.

”Did you even stop to think that you’d end up dead? Just like that?” Ghost continued and your throat tightened.

He was right, and he knew that, that’s why he wasn’t giving you enough time to answer because he knew that you had nothing to say regarding your trepidity.

”I had to do something,” you said. ”There are times when you can’t stop to think things through because every second is important. Someone’s life could be on the line.”

”Because is it much better if it’s your life that will be on the line then?” Ghost leaned forward with a sinister glare.

”I have nothing to lose.”

Ghost’s eyes darkened a little hearing your answer.

”Do you really think that would be fucking fair with everyone? Watching you die just because you think you are nothing?”

Slowly, you realized where his anger was really coming from. He wasn’t only mad because you violated his order, but he also didn’t like the fact that you were underestimating yourself.

”There was no time, I had to do something.”

”What if all three of you died? Where would that get us?” Ghost asked sharply.

”But we didn’t.” You argued with no will to continue this confrontation.

”I’m a lieutenant, which means that you do as I say,” Ghost continued firmly. ”I don’t give orders just because I have nothing better to do. There is a reason for every decision I make.”

His words echoed in your head as you watched Soap give you a small encouraging smile. They had no idea how badly Ghost’s words have crushed you.

”Feel free to quit if you think you can’t work in a team.”

Your eyes widened and you turned back to him. You wished that you misheard him but the look in his eyes proved you otherwise.

”What?”

”You heard me,” Ghost replied dryly. ”You don’t have to work under my watch if you feel like obeying my orders would be too difficult for you.”

You never felt so hurt by simple words before. He had never been this cold toward you, in fact, after Graves’s betrayal, it seemed like he let you closer to him.

But now it felt like you fell back to the start where you were only strangers.

”Why are you making such a big deal about this?” You asked.

”Because you don’t value your life at all. And I don’t need soldiers who never think about themselves.”

It was ironic that he was saying that when deep down he felt the same. He always fought with the thought that he might not make it. But when it came to you, Ghost couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt, let alone getting killed.

He would be never able to forgive himself for that.

”You disobeyed yourself back then, you know,” you said as you hugged yourself and took a step back.

Ghost felt uneasiness in his heart at the sight of you putting distance between you two. And even though he knew that he hurt you, he wouldn’t take a word back. Because you overstepped a line when you disobeyed him.

”Me?”

You nodded, ”When you waited for Soap at the church. You always work alone and back there you didn’t even think to not help him survive the night.”

Ghost dropped his gaze to your hands, studying your bruises and fresh wounds with an intense stare.

”And now you are mad at me because I did the same?” You touched your throat, your words creeping into his mind, haunting him.

Ghost knew where you were coming from, that’s why he didn’t answer.

His eyes said it all.

”Fuck you, Simon.” You whispered, your voice almost breaking as you walked away from him. You didn’t want him to praise you because it wasn’t something he’d do. All you wanted him to do was understand why you ignored his orders.

”Cobra…” Ghost’s voice was calmer as he turned after you, watching you with soft eyes as you walked away from him.

----

Back at the base, everything seemed normal and fine.

Price made a toast as the task enjoyed their last time winning with honest smiles and shining eyes.

However, Ghost was nowhere to be seen or found.

It made you less uncomfortable now that you didn’t have to face him after the fight you just had before returning to the base.

You didn’t tell anyone what Ghost had said to you. You only let the others know that he wasn’t utterly happy that you disobeyed his orders.

”Where is Ghost?” asked Price after a few minutes now that everyone started eating and chatting with each other.

Your stomach stunk as you fixed your gaze, not daring to look at the captain.

”I don’t know,” Soap said. ”Probably celebrating alone.”

”Now that’s something he’d do.” Alejandro said with a small nod.

You were glad that neither Soap, Rodolfo, or Price had talked to you about Ghost. They knew that he was getting impatient with you but they knew that it wasn’t their business.

”Last time I saw him, he was on the roof,” Soap lowered his tone as he leaned close to your ear.

You furrowed your eyebrows.

”And?”

Soap gave you a side glance.

”You should go talk to him.” Soap advised and you immediately shook your head.

”I don’t think he wants to see me.”

Soap put his fork down and waited until you looked up at him.

”I know that it’s hard to believe but the only reason he lashed out at you is because he cares about you.”

You almost laughed hearing that weak excuse.

”Of course.”

”No, I’m serious.” Soap knotted his eyebrows together. ”He must have been worried about you. He probably cooled down anyway. You know that he is not the type to express himself very well.”

That doesn’t make the things he said right, you thought.

You couldn’t help but wonder if he’d want to see you now that everything was over.

You knew that you needed closure about the things that happened but you weren’t ready to face him. His cold glare kept haunting you during the flight.

Wouldn’t it be weird that after avoiding him for the rest of the day, you’d just show up suddenly?

You owned him an apology after all. Even though you helped Soap and Rudy, you had to disappoint Ghost.

His outburst was understandable because you had never done something like that before. Which left you wondering if he was willing to consider trusting you again.

You needed to put an end to this and maybe even switch teams if he wouldn’t want to work with you anymore.

”Okay, I’ll go find him.”

Soap gave you a proud smile as you stood up and walked out of the room, leaving the others to themselves.

You were fidgeting with your fingers as you were making your way up to the roof. The closer you got to the exit the more nervous you became.

Stopping in front of the hard metal door, you took a deep breath, trying to slow your heartbeat.

You opened the door, immediately seeing his familiar tall figure standing at the end of the roof with crossed arms and a stiff posture.

Your mouth went dry as you walked under the dark blue sky. The sun was slowly coming to a rest in the distance, leaving orange and pink shades behind.

”I told you I’m not hungry, Johnny.” Ghost’s voice cut through the soft wind that has awakened.

You sniffed before opening your mouth.

”What a shame,” you said. ”Price is not a bad cook at all.”

Ghost immediately turned around when he heard your voice. His eyes studied your fixed-up appearance and the bandages over you as you closed the distance.

His sleeves were rolled up, leaving his tattoos uncovered as his arms were crossed over his massive chest.

When you came to a stop next to him, he didn’t even try to hide that he was staring down at you with curiosity.

You expected him to order you to leave right away but seeing him surprised and silent was startling you.

”I’d rather cook for myself,” he continued. His voice was nowhere as cold and distant as it was when you two reunited after everything.

It made you feel a little less bad now that you knew that he wasn’t angry with you anymore.

You looked at the stars above you with admiring eyes while Ghost’s eyes didn’t leave your face for a second. It almost seemed like he was afraid that if he’d look away you’d vanish.

”It’s beautiful,” you said quietly, getting lost in the beauty of the stars. ”The sky.”

”Not only the sky,” Ghost said without thinking.

You bit into your lower lip as he continued to study you. You wished you could read his feelings because his silence was both pleasant and irritating at the same time.

”What are you doing here, Cobra?” Ghost asked.

You felt too exposed under his gaze, so you leaned on your elbows for support.

”Price misses you,” you answered gently. ”Everyone is celebrating.”

Ghost slowly shook his head and grabbed the edge of the roof that stopped you from falling down.

”No, I mean… Why are you here?” Ghost asked, his deep voice pulling at your heartstrings.

When you looked into his eyes you saw nothing but honest confusion.

”Because I want to put an end to this,” you said and he looked away for a second.

”Put an end to this?” Ghost asked.

You wiped your hair out of your face, swallowing the lump in your throat. Suddenly, it was hard for you to breathe calmly.

You backed away from the edge and his eyes never stopped following you. Not even for a brief second.

Because Ghost’s mind was full of possible things that would happen now that you came after him.

He hated it to admit, but the most believable thing that crossed his mind was that you’d end up quitting for good.

Which was the last thing he wanted you to do.

Pain darkened his heart as he watched your uneasy movements. He knew you very well to realize that it was because you weren’t comfortable in his presence. And he wished he could do something to change that.

”Everything that happened back there…” you started in a small tone. ”It was pure chaos. But I guess that’s nothing new if someone betrays you…”

Ghost watched you with suspicious eyes, not daring to interrupt you.

It was surprising to see such a tall and big man being unsure in the presence of a fragile and vulnerable woman.

”I was unprofessional and panicked when I heard Soap on the radio,” you continued. ”I listened to my heart instead of listening to you. There is a reason that you became a lieutenant and not me, I know. I wasn’t thinking clearly because all I could think was that Soap and Rodolfo might die if we didn’t do something… It was out of line that I ran away and listened to myself. I owe you an apology because you are the one that makes decisions and orders, not me… I’m sorry.”

Your words burnt into Ghost’s mind while he slowly dropped his gaze to the ground. He hadn’t expected you to ever come up with an honest apology for what you just did.

He felt his muscles relax as you were waiting for his answer with big and sad eyes.

But he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to handle apologies.

You felt your heart sink as you took his silence in, fearing that your apology meant nothing to him.

”I’ll talk with Price in the morning,” you said in a defeated tone. ”I’ll tell him to replace me with someone else.”

Ghost’s grip tightened a little, ”Why would you do that?”

You dragged your nail over the corner of your lips.

”Because it will make things easier.”

”I don’t think it would.”

His answer confused you for a second, ”You told me it was better for me to just leave, so that’s what I’m going to do. You can’t allow someone in your team who doesn’t follow orders.”

Ghost swallowed as your eyes burnt his skin. Now that he knew why were you thinking that, he felt guilt pulling him down into an endless hole.

”I don’t want you to resign,” he said. ”I was mad and didn’t think before speaking. You are a good soldier and I trust you.”

You could feel your heart in your throat as he was letting you inside his head.

”I just wish that you trusted me,” he added and you pressed your lips into a thin line.

”I do.”

Ghost narrowed his eyes a little, ”I don’t think you did today.”

You knew that he had every right to doubt you after the shit you had pulled.

”I’m sorry,” you repeated.

Ghost frowned before sighing, ”Don’t apologize for helping Soap and Rodolfo. You did what you had to, not leaving your teammates behind, you were loyal.”

You would have never expected him to say those words and now that it hung in the air between you, you couldn’t help but let go of your guilt.

”I just lost my head when I saw that you weren’t with me in the next second,” Ghost said. ”I was worried sick while you were gone, that’s why I lashed out. We can’t lose you.”

I can’t, Ghost wanted to add but he thought he already talked enough.

”You hurt me, Simon,” you whispered, lowering your gaze.

Those four words broke Ghost’s heart, especially after hearing your sad voice. He hated that he caused you to doubt yourself for even a second.

He liked it when you called him his real name but not in a way like this. It felt like a thorn in his heart hearing how sad his name sounded from falling off your tongue.

Instead of saying anything, he reached out to you. His heart sank when he saw you hesitate whether you should take his hand or not.

It also reminded him of how quick you were to step away from him while you were arguing a few hours ago.

He didn’t want to be scary like his father but his presence didn’t make that easy for him. He was intimidating and emotionally unstable after all.

”I won’t hurt you. I would never do that.” Ghost said softly. ”I promise.”

You were the last person he wanted to scare and he was ready to do anything to prove you that.

You carefully placed your hand in his cold and large one, then held your breath when his fingers closed around you.

You let him slowly pull you toward him until your chests almost touched. You were never this close to him and just wished that he didn’t hear your crazy heartbeat.

What you didn’t know was that he was just as nervous as you were. He was familiar with physical closeness from his one-night stands but it was different with you. With someone whom he cared about.

”I shouldn’t have told you those things.” Ghost admitted shamefully.

”You were right,” you tried to defend his outburst even if the single memory of his words still cut you open.

Ghost looked down at your hand resting on his, briefly shaking his head.

”My job is to lead you and not guilt you,” he answered.

You tried to hide your sadness but it was hard to. You could still hear his anger-filled voice in your head after you helped Soap to safety.

”I understand your reaction,” you said, your heart beating fast in your ribcage. ”But that didn’t give you the right to talk to me the way you did.”

Ghost sighed and let go of your hand. You tried to ignore how much you started missing his touch as he withdrew, many thoughts clouding his head.

You watched in silence as he took a few steps back until he felt a chair in the back of his leg. Then, he sat down, his hand running up on the side of his balaclava.

”I know,” his voice was silent. Too silent.

You wanted to know what was going on with him but you didn’t want to push his buttons. You didn’t want to cross a line that would drag you down a hill.

It was enough once to have him raising his voice at you which was something he had never done before.

”If you don’t want to work with me just say it,” you nudged him, reminding him of his words. A part of you had a feeling that half of the things he had said to you were true even though you wished none of it were but as paranoia crept into your head, the darker your mind has become.

Ghost let out a breath and reached up, grabbing the top of his balaclava, and pulling it off his head with an abrupt move.

His face was agitated and troubled as he ran his fingers through his hair.

You remembered how it felt to see his face the first time, feeling extremely respected that he trusted you enough to take his mask off.

Something stirred inside you as you watched his uncovered face and you wished the circumstances were different.

”I don’t want you to go, Cobra,” his concerned eyes found you.

Shivers ran down your spine as you watched this troubled big man trying to reason with you almost desperately. You didn’t know why but it made you feel worse than the argument he had just started with you a few hours ago.

”Then stop saying things you don’t mean,” you advised but a little firmness hid in your voice. You didn’t want to give in that easily.

Ghost studied you carefully before reaching out for your cold hand. You didn’t push him away as he took a gentle hold of your arm and pulled you toward him. You didn’t dare breathe as the distance decreased between you two. Then, without a warning sign, Ghost pulled you down and helped you sit on his lap.

You could feel your cheeks burn as you took a seat on his thighs, his right hand snuck around your waist while the other landed across your knees.

You were never this close or intimate with each other.

Ghost was a nervous wreck as he tried to steady his breath while making sure that his arms were holding you steady.

”I won’t, I promise,” he said in a soft tone that shook your heart for a moment.

You had never heard him being this gentle and careful with you, this whole situation was an unknown and dangerous territory to you. And you hated how unpredictable he was.

”You scared me today,” he admitted, his hot breath touching your cheeks.

You dropped your gaze shamefully to his tattooed hand resting on your knees. Everything was so chaotic that you didn’t even stop to think about how your action would affect Ghost.

Ghost leaned closer and lifted your jaw then turned your head back to his slowly. You had no choice but to let him and when your eyes locked, you felt the back of your throat tighten.

His worry was as clear as water in his eyes, his sadness took hold of your heart, not letting it go.

”I’m sorry, Simon,” you said, his name softly leaving your lips.

His eyes cleared for a moment as your words were floating in the air between you before he dropped his forehead to yours.

You instantly closed your eyes and so did he as your heads softly touched.

”Just… promise me that you’ll never do anything like that ever again…” he begged softly. ”I don’t know what I would have done if something had happened to you.”

You felt your lips quiver a little at the pain dripping from his tone. He was the last person you expected to be worried for you. Over the years he wasn’t that open regarding his feelings and now that you broke through his walls, you didn’t know how to react.

You didn’t want to scare him but also didn’t want to make him think that he meant nothing to you.

”I won’t do anything like that ever again,” you whispered, using his words, then he let out a relieved sigh. ”I didn’t want to scare you.”

Ghost pressed his lips together, a frown taking over his face.

”When will you finally see how much you mean to me?”

His words felt like a knife through your heart. It warmed you to realize that you were so close to him that he wouldn’t want to lose you but you knew that feelings always made things complicated.

You tried to ensure him by softly pushing at his chest, causing him to open his eyes, however, he still didn’t move his head away from yours and neither did you.

”Careful with feelings, Lt…” you gave him a small smile. ”They make things complicated.”

Ghost’s eyes shined with amusement as he watched you with admiration. He really was lucky that nothing had happened to you.

”Something tells me that I’m already doomed.”

He pulled his head away an inch, then lifted it until his lips were able to connect with your forehead. Your heart almost jumped out of your chest as he left a long and tender kiss on your forehead without the slightest worry in the world.

You enjoyed the soft touch of his lips as long as you could before he pulled away, his hands still holding you close to him. There was something vibrating between your bodies and you wondered if he could feel it too.

”This is a dangerous game, Simon.”

Despite your warning words, you earned an honest but small smile from the scariest and toughest soldier you’ve ever met.

”I'll risk it all then."

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the-colourful-witch · 3 months ago

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i'd love to know more about astrid cresswell if you're willing to tell us more. such as her family, is she dirk cresswell's daughter? what's her wand like? what year was she born? etc

Hiya! I can't believe you found her! I forgot I shared an illustration of Astrid on my page a long time ago :) Astrid Cresswell is my OC. And yes, I did take inspiration for her name from Dirk Cresswell, who is an Auror at the Ministry. He was one of the Aurors who was supposed to arrest Dumbledore if I remember correctly. In Order of the Phoenix. The two of them have no relation, actually. I took the last name when I was toying with the idea of her being the daughter of Dirk, but I went in a different direction. The last name kind of stuck, oops :) Anyway! Astrid!

Astrid is a Slytherin, in the same year as Fred and George (born 1978). My story for her is:

She was raised by her dad, who is a Healer at St Mungo's, in the permanent ward. Her mother was a Muggle, who died in childbirth. Robb Cresswell, Astrid's father, never told his girlfriend he was a Wizard. Astrid grew up with her dad, who was always working. They lived in the hillside village of Ottery St Catchpole where a few more magical families were housed in the hills. Robb regularly dropped Astrid off at the Weasleys, where Molly was more than happy to look after Astrid when he went to work. And so Astrid grew up with her two best friends: Fred and George Weasley. But that friendship didn't last very long after Astrid got sorted into Slytherin House. From that moment on, Astrid and the twins became rivals. They will do anything to destroy each other, both on and off the Quidditch pitch.

Astrid is a Chaser, the only girl on the Slytherin team. She's constantly dealing with Marcus Flint's sexist antics but is determined to play. She has something to prove, after all. Her patronus is a fox and her wand is 9 1/2 inches, Aspen wood with a dragon heartstring core. It stylishly resembles ivory; excellent for duelling and charm-casting. It's a wand made for revolutionaries but can be temperamentful, reacting to uncontrolled emotions. Astrid has two best friends: Maeve and Dorian, both Slytherins in her year. Dorian plays on the Quidditch team with her, as a Beater. He wants to be an Auror, like his father John Dawlish and is ahead of everyone in their class in all subjects. Maeve is the oldest of seven girls and the only one sorted into Slytherin. Hogwarts is the only place where she doesn't have to be a parent to her sisters. She enjoys reading and is Captain of the chess club. Oh, and she has a pet: a tubby black and white cat named Tibo. Tibo likes treats and scratches behind his ears. He has one of those loud purrs.

Astrid herself has a toad, which is a surprisingly uncool pet for a girl of her status. He's called Samuel the Second. You don't want to know what happened to the first. Sebastian usually hangs out in Astrid's room, but she takes him with her to the greenhouses sometimes when she's doing extra credit work. And Astrid is popular! After finding out she wasn't ever going to fit in with her Gryffindor friends (not really friends anymore), she decided to really embrace the Slytherin identity. She is clever and cunning. She knows how to get what she wants. To everyone who does not know her, she is perfect. Prefect, Quidditch player, star student. Behind the scenes, it's a little more rough... But she tries. She wants to become a Healer, after a successful Quidditch career, of course.

I am still figuring out Astrid's story, but it's fun for me to work on her every now and then. I admit, it's been a while. I dream of writing a fic for her one day, but I am not much of a writer. I start with something and then I can't finish, because I get distracted and instead draw my characters. What can I say, I like to draw! Maybe one day I'll actually finish a first draft :)

(an older version of Astrid - I don't love how I drew this)

I would like to share some more OC work in the future, but it's been a while since I worked on my characters. All the existing HP characters take up a lot of my time at the moment. One day :) I hope you like this. I'm happy to answer more questions if you have them <3

Magical wishes, Fleur

Some more earlier concepts of Astrid..

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valentine-cafe · 24 days ago

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May I have a tirimasu, a strawberry shortcake and a mango pudding please?!

[Afab reader]

Just thinking about walking in on them all working out together! But you want their attention on you so badly!! You're going to each one to give kisses all over their faces! But they don't budge!! So you're watching Rishen stretch doing the splits! Folding his body onto one leg and switching to do it to the other!! All the while you're crawling on your hands and knees trying to keep your lips on hers!!

Moving to Talisen, he still won't budge, no matter how many times you chase after him when he changes positions!!

Moving onto Alessio, who is doing push-ups! So you just crawl under him, and he gives you kisses everytime he goes back down!!!

-🍄

˖⁺. ﹙ hero duo x afab reader x antihero. ﹚ .𖹭 ݁

. . . distraction !! 🍒 : naga ˖ grim reaper ˖ hero character , spider-mantis-moth hybrid ˖ hero characer & antihero ˖ mercenary ˖ enigma character character﹙ verse 781 talisen, rishen & alessio. ﹚

you try to get yourself some kisses while they're working out

“Sorry cariño,” Rishen chuckles softly as you whine, trying to catch his lips as he eventually begins his yoga exercises Talisen had given him a few weeks ago, switching into different positions so quick, you can’t catch up!

“I promise I’ll come give lotsa kisses after okay?” He responds to the pout you give him, watching as you throw your hands up in exasparation.

Without many words than a small ‘okay,’ you move onto Talisen. Who is in the middle of rounding up his own warmups before he begins his taekwondo training.

You manage to sneak in just about 1 kiss, which is impressive. Considering how quick the naga moves. Eventually, his foot swipes below yours to stop you from chasing him. His hand out and prepared already to catch you.

With a small ‘OOmph!’ you land in his grasp and look up at him with a small look of betrayal. He all but huffs and straightens you. Moving you up to stand properly again.

“Baobei, I am training. Be patient.”

“It’s hard!” You sigh and look down. Upper body rocking from side to side slowly as you kick the ground a little.

“I never got any kisses in the morning.” At the statement given, you watch as your boyfriend’s eyebrow raises and he gently directs you to look over at the other man in the corner of the room doing push-ups. Alessio happily starting up his own workouts.

“Well why do you not go get some from him, then?” Talisen states bluntly, only to watch your face crumble a bit.

Realising his own words he raises his brows and thins his lips, before smiling reassuringly.

“Baobei, it is not that we are denying you, Rishen and I are awfully busy.” He whispers, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your lips. “You know I do not mean to make you sad.”

His thumb strokes across your cheek gently before, and suddenly you squeak as he sends you off to Alessio with a small smack on your butt.

Shuffling over to Alessio, he quickly catches your eyes with his own emerald ones. A look of curiosity rendering his face for a moment, before the usual signature smirk makes its way upon his lips once again.

Immediately, you wish to kiss it off.

“You here for somethin’ querida?” He teases, only to let out a little ‘oop’, as you crawl below him and purse your lips slightly.

“I want kisses. . .” No more words had to be said after that. He simply gave you a little laugh and began his push-ups once more, lips meeting yours every time.

And as the minutes went by they’d become longer and longer. loving, passionate and soft kisses, that had the man above you forget all about his routine. Melting into your touch, while he supported his bodyweight on his elbows and forearms.

It was enough kissing to distract the two others, leaving them staring in their own enjoyment. And tinge of envy.

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quinloki · 3 months ago

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quin-uhhh:

would you?!

Fic authors self rec! When you receive this, reply with favorite five fics you've written (include links, and if you want- a few thoughts about each one), then pass on to at least five other writers if you're up for it. Spread the self-love ✨

If you don't, I'll just... I'll just... well I won't do a thing but please?!

many fist pumps,

▲ I'm a symbol now

\o/ Tri, my sweet friend, you are - if anything - a symbol of good cheer =D ♥

Let's see, five favorite fics I've written. That's much easier than trying to pick just one ^_^

Birds of a Feather Marco/Reader ( tumblr / Ao3 / Wattpad ) - This is my most recently completed fic, at least at the time of this post, but I love it so much. My passion for Marco feels like it came out of nowhere and has made itself reigning champion in my thoughts. But a story I expected to be relatively short, ended up almost twice as long as I expected, and it was so easy. It was fun to write, and I think it goes down smooth, despite being nearly 90k words people consistently devour it in a single sitting.

Quicksand Sir Crocodile/Reader ( tumblr / Ao3 / Wattpad ) - Not sure if you're a fan of the sandy crocodile-themed warlord? Tread carefully, reading this title is statistically likely to convert you. Quicksand has an alternative ending because the story was originally intended to be a very dark Yandere - to the point that Doflamingo would've been the "good" guy. That's not how things went, and I'm quite glad for it. Quicksand going its own direction is what helped seal the deal in creating the Tales of the Grandline Metropolis, which is currently 3.8 completed stories. (it'll be at least 8 before it's done).

A Light Touch Eustass Kid/Reader ( Ao3 / Wattpad ) - My first Eustass Kid/Reader story. Set in the same AU as Quicksand, it was started from a pun, of all things. I figured Kid would be fancy tech stuff like neural-linked prosthetics, and the idea that would make a prosthetic for the reader after they lost a hand was something I wanted to write. Creating something like that would take a light touch, and if it glowed, that would be a different kind of light touch and getting close to Kid requires a light-- you get the point. Like I said, it's all based off a pun, but I'm really proud of the story, it's one of my favorite re-reads.

Some Direction Zoro/Reader (tumblr / Ao3 / Wattpad ) - A Modern AU where the government mandates who you marry. I have to give thanks to @lyndsyh24 for not only inspiring me to write this one (start to finish in a single month, I was obsessed!) but also for allowing my to play in the AU she'd built up. From Matchbook to the laws themselves, it's all thanks to Lyn. Zoro started out as one of my favorite characters in the series - I still have love for him, and I'm always happy to write him, but he's taken a bit of a back seat to my top three. Still Some Direction is a story I'm really proud of - even if I worry there'll be a mob after me for who the antagonist is 😅

Family Ties Doflamingo/Reader ( Ao3 / Wattpad ) - I was torn on this last choice - even with five slots it's hard to decide between stories I suppose ^^; Also, oops, apparently I only put the first ten chapters on tumblr... I need to fix that >.> Ahem, anyway, Family Ties is the first fic I wrote after over ten years of not writing at all. It's my first reader insert, my first true multi-chapter too. When I wrote it, it was the longest fic I'd written by nearly 50k words. I wrote it because I wanted a more morally ambiguous reader compared to what I'd been reading. It's not a dark fic though, it's pretty tooth-achingly sweet, honestly, but it's currently the only fic I have where the reader is a murderer in a very undisputed and direct manner.

Honorable mention I almost posted as piece 5 - The Dragon's Clause - my Sabo/Reader Noble/Fantasy/Magic AU, and also the only title I mention that's incomplete. But it's a an ode to my favorite genre, and a great many of my favorite tropes.

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skyloftian-nutcase · 8 months ago

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Writing prompts! I'm sending them individually to make it easier to answer all or a few or none of them. They all turned out to be LU in Healthcare oops

When Hyrule is on a call and the patient is awake and alert enough to be scared, how does he help?

EMS calls had phases to them.

The first phase, of course, was getting dispatched, and responding to the scene. It was typical for emotions to run high immediately, for the adrenaline to spike, and everyone reacted differently. Hyrule usually ran scenarios through his head, easing his own anxiety by preparing himself based on the dispatch information. It wasn’t much, especially since dispatch could have faulty details, and he was more than happy to wing it… but it kept his mind preoccupied.

Mo’s usual response was to get aggravated. He would judge the dispatch information, would get irritated whenever a driver messed up and did something reckless. The man’s compassion was quiet and immense, but his stress came out in snappish quips directed at situations and nonexistent people.

The third phase began with their arrival. This was usually when they would figure out what they were actually dealing with.

A dispatch for chest pain meant Mo drove and Hyrule led. The secondary indicated a male in his 40s with severe chest pain and difficulty breathing. It couldn’t really get more cut and dry than that, Hyrule supposed. They had to drive to the central train station, which complicated matters. Hyrule had to agree as Mo grumbled about the situation - he hated crowded scenes.

As the pair walked inside with a stretcher loaded with supplies, they were directed to a secluded area, which surprised Hyrule. He was far more accustomed to people bunching up to stare, getting in his way and making his skin crawl. Instead, they were ferried into a small room, and Hyrule’s senses immediately went on alert at the sight of security guards.

He supposed one of the security members was the patient, then.

But no, because it was clear who the patient was, and his lack of security uniform was not the first thing Hyrule noticed. It was his grayish complexion, the sweat beading his forehead, the scrunched up expression of focus and agony fighting for control. It was the way the man was carefully rocking back and forth between leaning back and clutching his chest and leaning forward to open his airway because he couldn’t breathe. It was how silent he was, eyes piercing through the table in front of him as he fought with all his might with how he was feeling.

This man was sick.

Mo sensed it too, and immediately started to guide the stretcher in time with Hyrule as they reached the patient. Mo prepped the monitor to get the man’s vital signs and do an EKG to look at his heart while Hyrule assessed him and spoke to him.

“Hello, sir,” he greeted, eyes looking the man over. “What’s going on?”

“These gentlemen are being too dramatic,” the man wheezed, sharp eyes burning into the security guards. “I’m fine.”

The statement was so ludicrous even Mo stopped what he was doing to throw the patient a look.

“You sure don’t look fine,” Hyrule noted.

“That’s what we said,” one of the guards piped up. “His friend called us over because he nearly collapsed.”

Hyrule glanced around. “Where’s your friend?”

“I told him to get on the damn train,” the patient grumbled. “Which is where I should be.”

“Let’s make sure you’re okay first,” Hyrule advised him. “It won’t do you any good to board that train if you die before you reach your destination.”

Given the man’s attitude, Hyrule expected some kind of scoff or angry response, but instead, the man bit his lip, showing fear. A pang of sympathy went through the paramedic, and he put his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Let’s just see what’s going on, okay?”

The man watched him a moment, saying nothing, eyes searching for something, and then he squeezed them shut, chin tilting down as he nodded.

“When did this start?”

The patient hesitated before answering. “It’s been going on for an hour or two. Just got much worse when were climbing the stairs.”

Alarm bells continued to ring in Hyrule’s mind as he listened. Time is heart tissue repeated over and over. He felt his own heart beat faster as the monitor collected information.

HR 118. BP 92/44 with a MAP of 60. RR 28, SpO2 89%, and the EKG…

ST elevation. Leads II and III, with reciprocal depression in V4. Shit.

This man was having a heart attack. He’d been having one, and he was going into shock.

“Sir, it looks like you’re having a heart attack,” Hyrule informed him as he and Mo moved into action, getting him oxygen through a nasal cannula that could also read capnogrpahy, moving bags off the stretcher so they could quickly get him on it. “Have you had one before? What kind of medical history do you have?”

The patient watched him a moment, growing paler, and then he squeezed his eyes closed yet again, trying to calm himself. “I smoke. Nothing else. Doc mentioned high blood pressure during the last exam, but he said cut the cigarettes and the stress. Didn’t need meds yet. I don’t take anything.”

“Any medical allergies?”

“No.”

“Have you taken anything for this pain?”

“Aspirin,” the man answered with a huff. “I started carrying it just in case.”

“Good thing,” Hyrule commented, patting him on the shoulder lightly. “We’re going to take good care of you, okay?”

Mo had the stretcher ready and in front of them, with the monitor behind the back of the cot. Hyrule shoulder the go bag and oxygen tank while assisting the patient to stand, pivot, and sit. The less strain on his struggling heart, the better.

Security helped clear a path for them as they moved quickly. Hyrule already had his phone in hand, telling the ER to call a STEMI alert. Once they were inside the ambulance, Mo helped Hyrule secure everything and then quickly went up front to drive them out of there. Hyrule grabbed defibrillator pads, placing them on the man’s chest.

“Are those necessary?” The man asked, far more out of fear and dread than anything else.

Hyrule tried to find a balance, tried to reassure the poor man as he moved. “They’re just a precaution. Right now I don’t see a big indication for them, but I like to be ready.”

As he moved on to start an IV, he worked on trying to distract the man. His oxygen saturation had improved with the oxygen, but his blood pressure was still low. Too low for nitroglycerin, which was contraindicated in an inferior MI anyway. Hyrule didn’t have many treatment options, and he hated that. He’d tentatively give fluids. The MAP was still survivable, but barely.

“You from Castle Town?” He asked with a small smile as he put the tourniquet on the man’s arm.

“No. Well. I was.” The man answered, watching him work before swearing under his breath and staring at the ceiling. “I’m supposed to be going home. This was my break from work.”

Hyrule struggled a bit to comment on that. He tried, “Well, once the hospital patches you up, you’ll be able to go home in better condition than you would’ve.”

“You mean alive,” the man remarked bitterly, huffing, “God certainly does like to fucking test me. But if he doesn’t kill me, my wife and daughter will.”

Hyrule was about to ask about them, but the patient picked up on his attempt and waved him off. “Please, just do what you need to do.”

Hyrule obliged him, thankful for the silence to focus. He got the 18G IV in the man’s forearm—for being a smoker he had very good veins and toned arms. He at least kept in shape in that regard.

As Hyrule ran out of things to do aside from observe, he grabbed his computer to collect information. He got the man’s name and date of birth, home address, basic medical information. He called the hospital and updated them.

Mo got them to the ED in record time. The pair quickly unloaded the stretcher and went inside, where charge told them to go to one of the major rooms. A group of three or four people was waiting for them, including Warriors and Legend and Twilight and an emergency physician, as well as a cardiologist. Hyrule gave his report quickly as they moved the patient and wished the man luck.

As he exited, he sighed, feeling the tension drain out of his body. They got him there alive. That was a victory. He hoped the hospital could help him.

“Hey Rulie!”

Hyrule turned and smiled as he saw Wild. “Hey! I thought you weren’t released to go back to work until next week?”

“Eh, I passed the last exam with flying colors,” Wild shrugged with a satisfied smirk. “I heal pretty well, you know.”

The crash flashed in his mind again. The blood. Wild’s broken body. Hyrule’s smile grew a little strained. “Please don’t strain yourself.”

“I won’t,” his friend replied sincerely. “I promise.”

Movement caught his eye, and Hyrule looked beyond to see Warriors and Twilight pushing the stretcher with his patient into the hall, likely heading for the cath lab. He was honestly surprised he himself hadn’t been directed to take the patient there directly.

Wild turned as well to look. “You brought him in?”

“Yeah,” Hyrule answered quietly as the man caught sight of him, pained, tired eyes scanning him before stopping at his companion.

The man jolted up, nearly ripping out an IV in the process. Hyrule jumped, startled, and watched Twilight fight the man to lie back down. He stepped forward, eager to help and soothe the man, who had mostly been reasonable for him. Wild stayed frozen in place.

“Abel, it’s okay,” Hyrule assured him. “They’re gonna help you.”

“L—Link—” the man said, arm reaching beyond Hyrule.

How did he know his…?

He wasn’t talking to Hyrule, was he?

Hyrule turned hesitantly, and saw that Wild was nearly paler than the patient. His eyes were glazed over in that familiar look, that look that the medic knew now to recognize.

Hyrule quickly went to his friend while Warriors and Twilight both held down the patient, who was hurried out of the ED while breathlessly saying all their names over and over and over, his voice growing steadily weaker.

#you ask skye answers #lovely bluevaractyl #lu in healthcare #lu hyrule #do I have a tag for Mo??#lu mo #🤷🏻‍♀️👍🏻#lu wild #abel #writing #guess who’s making a guest appearance?? :D :D :D #Skye time travels through the queue

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lyranova · 5 months ago

Text

Chapter 17: Chrysanthemums and Moonflowers

Hiya guys! I apologize this chapter took a while, I had finals and a bunch of IRL things going on that kept me from being able to update this. But here is the reception chapter, originally it was going to have smut in it but…the muses took it into a completely different direction and now it’s completely SFW! I hope you all enjoy~!

Word Count: 6, 326

Solara belongs to @thoughtfullyrainynightmare , Josele belongs to @loosesodamarble , Briar belongs to @koneko-pi , Acylla belongs to @faewraithsworld , Helena belongs to @kalolasfantasyworld , Rosette belongs to @vilandel , and Lorena belongs to @hybridanafrost

Warnings: Mentions of Breeding kink (for comedic purposes), Hurt-Comfort, Slight Suggestive themes (but not much).

As afternoon turned to evening, all the wedding guests moved from the ceremony outside to the reception inside the Golden Dawn base.

The guests talked and mingled with one another as Zera’s friends from town, the Black Market, and in a few noble and royal social circles got to know William’s squad members, his noble and royal friends. It was quite the sight.

When Zera and William walked into the room, it went silent for a moment before cheers and applause echoed around them; making William blush in slight embarrassment as Zera giggled and soaked in the attention.

The newly married couple walked into the center of the dance floor, and Zera turned to face William. He took her hand in his before placing his other hand on her waist as she placed her free hand on top of his shoulder.

The moment the music started, the couple slowly began to dance. Their feet gliding across the floor as they moved perfectly with the music.

William’s step mother and father had made sure he took dance lessons when he was younger, since that was considered a ‘requirement’ for a nobleman in Clover, as his step mother put it. While Zera, on the other hand, had never taken a dance lesson in her life!

It took the couple a bit to ‘find their footing’, so to speak, but they eventually did…even if it cost William a bruised toe or two.

“ Careful darling,” Zera began softly, her voice pulling him out of his thoughts. “ Don’t want you to accidentally step on my toes.”

He blinked for a moment before he chuckled.

“ Shouldn’t I be the one telling you that?” He asked softly, his brow raising slightly.

As soon as Zera opened her mouth to reply, William felt her foot step right on his toes.

The two paused briefly and looked down at their feet, where they could clearly see her foot resting on top of his.

As they slowly looked back up at each other, Zera smiled sheepishly at her husband and her cheeks turned slightly red.

“ Oops, sorry about that, I guess I still have two left feet.” She told him with a sheepish laugh as her hand reached up to rub the back of her head.

William chuckled and shook his head at her; usually he would feel a throbbing pain in his foot, but not now, right now all he felt was love and amusement for his wife and her poor dancing skills.

“ It’s alright, it doesn’t even hurt.” He told her as he began to lead the dance again, watching as his wife’s eyes narrowed.

“ Liar,” She muttered under her breath as her gaze shifted away from him.

William chuckled again before he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, trying to comfort and reassure her that it was all okay.

After a few more spins, glides, and toes getting stepped on the couple finally stood in the center of the dance floor as the song came to an end and other couples began to walk onto the floor as a different song started to play.

William took Zera’s hand in his and led her off the floor and towards the refreshment table, which was filled with various foods, desserts, and drinks.

“ For you, my beautiful wife,” He said warmly as he grabbed a beautiful flute full of a light gold champagne and handed it to her.

Zera smirked as she took it gently from his hand, the tips of her fingers lightly, and flirtatiously, brushed against the back of his hand; sending an electric tingle up and down Williams spine.

“ Thank you, my handsome husband,” She replied before bringing the champagne flute up to her lips and taking a sip.

William watched her drink from the champagne flute as though it were the hottest, most sensual thing in the world.

The way her lips gently pressed against the edge of the glass before slightly parting to allow the golden liquid to slip into her mouth before disappearing down her throat. He watched as a drop of the champagne slipped from around the glass and began to slide down the corner of her mouth, down her throat, before stopping right at her chest.

When she pulled the glass away with slightly flushed cheeks, her fingers reaching up to wipe away some of the excess champagne that sat on her lips, and William couldn’t help but swallow the lump in his throat.

He never thought he would be so jealous of a glass of champagne.

“ What’s wrong, dear? Dirty thoughts running through your mind?” Zera suddenly asked, her ice blue eyes giving him a playful look as her smirk returned to her face.

William’s face turned bright red as his eyes shifted away.

“ Not at all,” He clearly lied, making Zera giggle as she could tell she hit the nail on the head.

“ Don’t worry, I’ve been having dirty thoughts about you too,” She told him as she turned away to face the ballroom, another giggle escaping her as she nearly caused William to spit out his drink.

Zera’s scanned the room as her husband cleared his throat behind her, all of her friends and family were there; she could see Rika and her brothers standing in one corner having what appeared to be a serious discussion, her friends from the Black Market were talking with each other while simultaneously trying to talk the nobles and royals into coming to visit their shops, her fellow Wives were all seated at a table together, happily chatting away while their spouses and significant others stood a few feet away from them.

Everyone she had met over her lifetime, were all in this one room, together, and it made her so very happy.

“ Hello, Lord Vangeance, Ms. Cassia,” A slightly older woman in her late 40’s-early 50’s began as she walked up to the couple.

Zera’s eyes narrowed slightly in thought as she tried to think about who this lady was, she looked vaguely familiar…but she just couldn’t place her.

“ Ah, Lady Stark, we’re glad you could make it,” William said politely as he took the woman’s hand in his and gave it a small shake.

“ Ah, that’s right, she’s a really high up noblewoman,” Zera thought as she watched the woman and William exchange pleasantries.

“ You know I wouldn’t miss this for the world, especially since your father and I were friends for the longest time,” She replied with a smile as she slowly pulled her hand back.

Zera watched as her husband’s brow twitched slightly in irritation at the mention of his father, but he still forced a smile onto his face to try to seem polite.

He didn’t want to cause a scene…

“ Is it Ms. Cassia, or Mrs. Vangeance?” Lady Stark suddenly asked, her gaze shifting from William to Zera, who blinked in surprise.

“ Oh, um, I haven’t quite decided on it yet,” Zera replied with a sheepish laugh.

The woman's eyes narrowed, her gaze turning somewhat stern.

“ Usually that’s one of the first things a woman decides on before she gets married.” The woman responded, her tone turning serious.

Zera glanced over at William, who glanced back at her, both having a feeling they knew where this conversation was headed.

“ Sorry, but I was a bit busy dealing with all of the other urgent things that we needed for the wedding.” Zera said, her voice sounding sugary sweet, but William could hear the sharp undertones in it.

“ Oh yes, of course, of course,” Lady Stark said with a calm smile, William wasn’t sure whether she heard his wife’s sharpness or if she just elected to ignore it.

“ As a Captain’s wife there’ll be many urgent matters you’ll have to attend to, which makes me curious; have you made a decision on whether you’ll sell your flower shop, or will you continue to work there?”

William once again glanced over at his wife, he swore he saw her eyebrow twitch in annoyance at Lady Stark’s question.

“ I plan on still working at the flower shop even as a Captain’s wife,” Zera replied, her teeth gritted slightly, and her voice growing a little more sharp despite how sweet it sounded.

“ Ah, I see,” Lady Stark said as she placed a hand under her chin. “ But won’t you be stretched pretty thin between running your shop and your duties as a Captain’s wife? Especially after you and William have children?”

“ Oh, speaking of children; now that the two of you are married, when do you think you’ll start having children?”

William took a deep, calming breath; Lady Stark was going too far with her questions and nosiness now. When he and Zera decided to have, or not to have, children wasn’t any of her business.

“ Um, well, we haven’t really discussed it-.” William began, trying to come up with some sort of excuse as his mind scrambled to find a way out of this conversation.

But he was cut off from continuing his sentence by his very irritated wife.

“ Hm, well, if I’m not pregnant already then it’ll probably sooner than you’d expect since I have a breeding kink.” Zera told the woman bluntly, a sweet and playful smile on her face as she stared at the older woman.

The area around them went so silent at Zera’s sentence one could hear a pin drop.

“ ZERA!!” William exclaimed in shock, his face pale and purple eyes wide as he stared at her.

He shouldn’t be surprised by this, he really shouldn’t, and yet her openly admitting that she had a breeding kink and that there was a chance she could already be pregnant took him completely by surprise and almost made him speechless.

Apparently, it also took Lady Stark by surprise as well, since her face turned bright red and her eyes began to shift around nervously.

“ O-Oh I see,” She stammered uncomfortably, quickly clearing her throat. “ Well if you’ll excuse me, it was lovely to see you again Lord Vangeance, and it was a…pleasure to meet you Ms. Cassia.”

And then she shuffled away and disappeared into the crowd, leaving a triumphant Zera and a shocked William standing there.

“ That’ll teach her not to ask questions like that again,” Zera said with a triumphant grin, and William took a long and deep breath as his hand reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“ What? It’s not like you weren’t just thinking about planting some seedlings in me a moment ago.” Zera told him before taking another small sip of her champagne.

William took another deep, calming breath, his mind wondering why on earth he had decided to fall in love with a crazy woman like her.

“ You okay there Goldie Guts?” Yami Sukehiro asked as he walked up to the food table to grab a drink. “ You sound like you’re having a heart attack or hyperventilating.”

“ He’s fine!” Zera exclaimed cheerfully. “ I was just telling him how I couldn’t wait for him to plant some seedlings in my garden tonight.” She added, causing William’s head to snap in her direction and for his eyes to widen even more.

Did she just really tell Yami that?!

“ Oh my go-.” He began, but Yami cut him off.

“ Ah, well good luck tonight Goldie Guts,” Yami began nonchalantly as he picked up a glass of wine. “ I have a feeling she ain’t going to let you go until you complete your mission.” He added before taking a sip.

“ Indeed.” Zera agreed with a peaceful smile on her face.

Meanwhile, William just stood there speechless, his eyes darting back and forth between the two.

Yami turned towards him with a raised brow.

“ What? It's not like all the married men here haven’t been on that mission during their wedding night? You might've ringed it, but a real fisherman knows that luring the fish into the boat isn't enough.” He explained, making William frown a bit.

“ Oooh that’s true!” Zera said with a small clap of her hands. “ And tonight, we’ll get to see if he’s a real fisherman or not.”

Yami burst into laughter as he clapped Zera on the shoulder, and William couldn’t help but feel like the two were bullying him again, just as they had the day he and Zera met.

“ Well, I think I’ll leave you boys to it! I’m going to go and mingle with the other ladies.” She suddenly announced before giving her husband a kiss on the cheek before walking away.

As she walked towards the table where the other wives sat, she stopped to talk to her newest friends Helena Drazel, Rosette Vitrail, and Lorena Harlow for a moment.

Helena was wearing a long red gown with beautiful white and gold accents. Rosette was wearing a simple yet elegant grey gown with light pink ribbons and accents, while Lorena wore a green, knee length dress that was comfortable yet very classy.

Zera greeted them warmly, making sure they were having fun and were having a good time before bidding them a small goodbye, promising that they would all catch up soon.

She smiled fondly as she saw her friends Solara Equinox, Josele Canty, Briar Rose, and Acylla Rhine.

Solara was wearing a beautiful cocktail dress that was blue but slowly transitioned to gold as it went down. It had slightly thin straps, and was slightly low cut with a thigh length slit on the left leg. It was a sexy yet very classy dress that suited her perfectly!

Josele, who was sitting between her and Acylla, wore a beautiful, knee length tulle cobalt blue dress with a black corset around the waist. The straps were made of black ribbon and she finished off the look with a beautiful lace black choker. It was really the perfect dress for her!

Briar, who sat on the other side of Solara, wore a beautiful, calf length half silver-half white, billowy wrap-gown that floated behind her as she walked. The neckline was low like Solara’s, but the sleeves were longer than any of the others, and she wore a beautiful silver-white accessory around her ears. It was a very lovely dress that suited her perfectly!

Acylla, who sat between Josele and Briar, wore a beautiful, yet simple, light blue high-low dress that complimented her hair and eyes perfectly. It had a high neckline and halter-like sleeves, her blonde hair was in loose yet classy waves that perfectly framed her lovely face. The dress may’ve been more simple then some of the others, but it looked stunning on her!

Zera could hear them all chatting and giggling away amongst themselves, and her smile widened. It made her heart fill with warmth seeing her friends, whom she almost considered as sisters, all talking together and having a good time.

It…was really nice.

She walked over to them and leaned over Josele and Solara’s shoulders.

“ What are we talking about?” She half whispered as though they were having some sort of secret meeting.

The other women’s gazes looked from each other to Zera as soon as the question left her lips.

“ Well if it isn’t the woman of the hour,” Acylla said with a grin as she and Briar pulled out the chair between them for Zera to sit down in.

“ We were just discussing your breeding kink announcement,” Solara said with an amused smile as she lifted her drink to take a sip.

“ I think I saw William’s soul leave his body for a moment when you said you could already be pregnant,” Josele chimed in with a small laugh.

“ Well, it wasn’t a lie, there is a chance I could be,” Zera said with a knowing smirk, making the others laugh and shake their heads at her.

“ We were also talking about Neva,” Briar said softly as the laughter around the table began to quiet down. “ She and Yuno have been standing there quietly for nearly five minutes.”

Zera, as well as the others, all turned their attention towards the two young Golden Dawn members that were standing together on the far side of the room.

While to some the pair looked awkward and uncomfortable, to the ladies sitting at the table they looked nervous, and like they were trying their best to hide it.

Zera let out an exasperated sigh.

“ I told her she should be more forward tonight,” She groaned as she rested her head on the table. “ So why isn’t she asking him to dance?”

“ Because, despite how Neva projects herself to others, she’s actually quite shy.” Solara said knowingly as she glanced at the others before looking back towards Yuno and Neva.

“ Yuno isn’t much different from what I’ve heard,” Josele said as she looked at the women. “ He’s pretty shy too, but I’ve also heard that he can be pretty oblivious to things like romance and crushes.”

The other ladies nodded, all of them knowing all too well about men being oblivious to women and their romantic feelings towards them.

“ Should we go over there and give them a hand? Maybe try and encourage them to dance together?” Briar asked as she looked at the others.

“ I don’t know if that would help,” Acylla said, making the others frown a bit. “ They’re both already kind of shy around each other, so if we step in now, we could just make things worse.”

The ladies all looked at each other; she had a point, if they pushed Yuno and Neva too far too quickly, then they could easily make things awkward between them, then the two would never get together!

“ Please Neva, just ask him to dance! Gather all of that bravery and just ask him!” The women all pleaded softly to whatever deity was listening at the moment.

And just as the ladies were about to give up hope, they watched as Neva turned to Yuno, said something they couldn’t quite make out, and took his hand in hers before leading him towards the dance floor.

“ Are they-?” Zera began, her eyes wide and voice sounding hopeful.

“ I think they are,” Solara agreed, her eyes just as wide and voice just as hopeful as Zera’s.

“ She took charge and actually asked him to dance, this is exciting!” Briar said softly as she clasped her hands together.

“ 5,000 yul says he steps on her toes at least once,” Acylla said as she leaned back in her seat.

The other ladies all turned to look at her with slightly bewildered eyes.

“ What?”

“ Are you really suggesting that we bet on how Yuno and Neva’s dance is going to go?” Josele asked with a slightly raised brow.

Acylla shrugged.

“ Jack and Yami do it all the time, so why can’t we?” She asked, and Josele opened her mouth to argue before quickly closing it again.

She had a point, Jack and Yami did tend to bet on all their love lives at one point or another…

Before Josele could reply, Solara quickly cleared her throat in order to get their attention, and they all began to watch as the two finally made it to the center of the dance floor.

They watched as Neva and Yuno spoke before she placed his hand on her waist and held his other hand in hers.

At first they took slow steps in time with the music, and the ladies couldn’t help but giggle slightly as Yuno’s normally stoic face held a bit of an apprehension in it. It was pretty clear to them, and possibly to everyone else as well, that he had absolutely no idea how to dance.

But luckily for him, it appeared that Neva knew how to dance…at least a bit.

“ I didn’t know Neva knew how to dance,” Briar said softly, and Zera hummed before nodding.

“ William probably taught her at some point,” She explained simply, her gaze not leaving the dance floor as the others nodded in agreement.

The group of women gasped and cringed a bit as Yuno’s feet became tangled with Neva’s, causing him to stumble forward and almost knock her over.

“ This isn’t going well,” Acylla groaned as she closed her eyes briefly.

“ Just give them time, they’ll get better I’m sure.” Solara said as she glanced at the others for a moment.

They could hear laughter and snickering emit from the dance floor as people noticed Yuno’s small mistake. Words like ‘what did you expect from a mere peasant?’ and ‘oh my, I guess he isn’t as special as we thought’ echoed around quietly, and it made Zera grit her teeth in annoyance.

No one talked badly about her children.

Just as she was about to stand up and say something, she watched as Yuno and Neva glared icily at the people openly mocking them, before they looked back at each other and appeared to have a silent conversation.

The ladies watched as Neva held out a hand towards him, and he took it firmly. The two then began to dance again with her taking the lead, and him following.

It started out a little rough and awkward, but the longer they danced, the better the two got. They were already in sync with one another on the battlefield and in their everyday lives, so why would dancing together be any different?

As the song ended and the pair stood together in the middle of the dance floor, their bodies pressed firmly against one other as they held each other close, Zera and the others watched and waited with bated breath as the pair stared into each other's eyes.

“ C’mon, kiss already! You know you both want to, so go ahead and do it already!” They all thought, hoping the same deity that answered their pleas before would do so again.

But sadly, their hopes fell on deaf ears this time, as the two seemed to come to their senses and slowly moved away from each other.

“ Dammit!” Zera cried as she forcefully rested her head against the table, making the items on it tremble and clink together.

“ They were so close!” Briar exclaimed sadly as she patted Zera’s back.

“ Well, that was anticlimactic,” Acylla muttered with a slow shake of her head.

“ How long do they plan on making us wait for them to get together?” Josele groaned as she also shook her head sadly.

“ Well, they do say it’s best not to rush these sorts of things,” Solara began as she also held a look of disappointment on her face. “ and it’s not like we can exactly force them to date when they aren’t ready.”

The ladies looked at each other and sighed in resignation. It was true, they couldn’t force the two to date even though they clearly had feelings for each other…so all they could do was wait until the pair were ready to be together.

As Zera pouted in her seat she suddenly felt large, but gentle hands land on her shoulders. She looked up and saw the warm, smiling face of Rika looking down at her.

“ Ladies, are you all having a good time?” He asked politely as the other womens’ gazes turned towards him.

“ Oh, hi Rika,” Zera said, her disappointment disappearing and being replaced with a warm happiness. “ We were just watching a few friends dance while chatting away.”

“ Ah, I see,” Rika said, giving his daughter a look. “ So you were gossiping?”

“ No,” She tried to lie before a giggle escaped her. “ Okay, maybe a bit.”

Rika sighed and shook his head as an amused, unsurprised smile appeared on his face.

“ I figured,” He chuckled before he looked at the other ladies at the table. “ Do you all mind if I borrow my daughter for a dance?”

The others smiled and quickly shook their heads, biding Zera goodbye as she stood up and walked with her father towards the dance floor.

She and Rika weaved through the group of people until they found a free spot on the dance floor, and the two stood there for a moment before they began to sway side to side, since neither of them could dance very well.

As they moved, Zera could just feel something was wrong with her adopted father. He was acting warm and cheerful like normal, but there was something in his eyes that told her everything was not normal. She had sensed it back in the dressing room when he hugged her, but now she was feeling it even more.

“ Rika? What’s going on?” She asked softly, and Rika, being pulled out of his thoughts, blinked in surprise before looking down at her.

“ Hm? Oh, nothing’s wrong,” He told her softly, but she wasn’t convinced.

“ Liar,” She muttered as her eyes narrowed. “ You’re acting weird, and have been since earlier.”

“ So tell me; what’s going on?” Rika’s red eyes searched her ice blue ones for a moment before a soft sigh escaped him.

“ I’ll tell you when the reception’s over,” He told her softly, but she shook her head.

“ No, I want you to tell me now!” She stated firmly, her eyes narrowing more and her bottom lip sticking out in a slight pout.

Rika sighed again and closed his eyes for a moment, and that made her heart race anxiously. Whenever he closed his eyes and took a deep breath that meant that she wasn’t going to like what he had to say.

“ Zera, your brothers and I are leaving.”

She blinked for a moment before confusion took over and she tilted her head; that was what he wanted to tell her when the party was over?

“ Really? That’s all?” She scoffed with a small laugh. “ You guys leave all the time, that’s nothing new.”

“ So, when are you guys coming back?”

As soon as the question left her lips Zera could tell that wasn’t what he meant when he said he and her brothers were leaving…

“ Zera,” He began softly, his hands moving to rest gently on her upper arms. “ Your brothers and I aren’t coming back.”

Everything seemed to stop at that moment. The music, the voices, the people dancing around them, even her breath and heartbeat seemed to stop.

They…weren’t coming back? What was he talking about? They couldn’t…they couldn’t just leave…

Zera gripped his shirt tightly, and firmly shook her head as his words sank in and tears began to prick at the corners of her eyes.

“ No, no, you can’t…you can’t leave!” She cried softly, her feet no longer moving on the dance floor.

“ Zera,” Rika sighed softly, but she cut him off.

“ You told me that we would be a family forever! So why…why are you saying goodbye?!”

“ Zera-,” But before he could answer she firmly shook her head again.

“ No, no I won’t let this happen! I won’t let you leave like this…we’re family; and family sticks together no matter what!”

When one got married, you were supposed to gain a new family while keeping your old one…you weren’t supposed to gain one and lose the other!

“ I won’t allow this, I refuse to accept this!”

Rika placed his hands on either side of her face, and gently began to wipe away the tears that were pouring down her cheeks.

“ Zera, it’s okay,” He whispered, his loving, fatherly smile appearing on his face as he bent forward a bit to become more eye level with her.

“ How? How is any of this okay?” She cried, her body beginning to tremble with her sobs. “ You’re telling me that tonight will be the last time I ever see you and my brothers again, how is that okay?!”

“ It’s okay, Zera,” He repeated softly. “ You have a new family now-.”

Her grip on his shirt tightened and she shook her head vigorously.

“ I don’t want a new family! I want you, Meino, Jin, Shiro, Felix, and Casper; I want to keep our family!” Rika nodded slowly.

“ I know, and I want that too, but we can’t anymore,” Rika said softly as he continued to wipe her tears away. “ You… are a glorious, shining Chrysanthemum that thrives in the sunlight. While your brothers and I are a group of Moonflowers that bask in the soft moonlight.”

“ We live in two opposite worlds now, Zera, and you can’t be anywhere near ours,” He told her seriously. “ If your brothers and I were to get caught by the Magic Parliament for the things we do, and they find out we’re still in contact, they’ll drag you and your husband and any of your future children into it…and it’ll completely destroy your life.”

“ I will not allow that to happen, not after everything you and William have gone through to be together,” He said firmly. “ So…this is all I can do to protect you both…I have to let you go.”

Zera’s body trembled as more and more sobs left her, this wasn’t right…this wasn’t fair! Why couldn’t she just have both, why could she only choose one or the other?!

She felt Rika’s arms wrap around her in a tight, comforting hug just like he would when she was a child. His hand moving up and down her back in a soothing motion as he tried to calm her down.

“ Please…please don’t go dad,” She softly pleaded against his chest, and Rika felt his heart shatter into a million pieces in his chest.

He always hated making her cry.

“ Hey, what’s going on?” Meino asked as he and Zera’s other brothers walked up to them.

And when they saw Zera’s tear stained face they all knew exactly what was going on; Rika had told her…

The boys all walked up to their father and sister, wrapped them up in their arms, and hugged them tightly.

William and Yami watched the scene in slight confusion, and a hint of worry.

“ I wonder what’s going on over there,” Yami muttered with a frown.

“ I’m curious too,” Nozel Silva said as he and Fuegoleon Vermillion walked up to the pair.

“ Normally, I would like to believe it’s a touching, family moment. But something tells me that this isn’t the case.” Fuegoleon said as he stood beside the others.

William nodded in agreement, he wanted to believe the Cassia family was doing nothing more than talking about different things would be now that she was married and how happy and proud of her they were. But his gut told him that this was a much, much sadder family moment.

As the party wound down and the guests all began to leave, Zera and William also made their way to their living quarters.

The walk was quiet except for the sound of their shoes clicking against the stone floor. Ever since she danced with Rika he had noticed a shift in her mood; instead of being her bright, bubbly self she had grown more subdued and her brightness dimmed significantly.

And yet, when he asked her about it, she quickly said everything was fine and began trying to act like her normal self.

But he could clearly see that she was pretending.

When they walked into the room, they saw various candles lit, and a bottle of champagne chilling in a bucket on the coffee table by the fireplace.

His squad members and their friends must’ve prepared this for them.

William watched as she let go of his hand and walked towards the champagne, her hips swaying sensually as she moved.

“ Would you like a glass?” She asked as she turned around to face him with the bottle and a glass in each of her hands.

He looked at her for a moment before shaking his head.

“ Actually, I would like to know what happened tonight between you and Rika at the reception,” William said, and he watched the smile on her face falter for a moment before it moved back into place.

“ Nothing, everything’s fine.” Zera told him as she opened the bottle and began to pour it into the glasses.

“ Now you’re the one who’s lying,” He responded as he walked up to her. He watched as she stopped pouring champagne into the glasses to look up at him.

“ Tell me; what happened between you and your family, please.” He pleaded softly as he stood beside her, his hand moving to the small of her back.

He watched as her eyes darted back and forth in thought before she set down the glasses and bottle onto the coffee table and walked away.

“ Zera?” He muttered softly as he turned to watch her walk towards their bed, where she sat down on the edge of the mattress, her hands clasped firmly in her lap as her eyes stared at the ground.

After the room was silent for a minute or so, Zera finally took a deep breath and spoke.

“ They…left.”

William frowned in confusion, they left? What did that mean? He walked over to her, kneeled down in front of her, and watched as she bit her bottom lip as tears welled up in her eyes.

“ They said that I can’t see them anymore because I’m a Captain’s wife now,” She said softly, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. “ They’re scared that if they get caught by the Magic Parliament that we could get caught up in it too…so they’re letting me go…”

“ Rika even used a flower analogy to get his point across,” She laughed humorlessly as more tears slid down her cheeks. “ He said that I was a ‘glorious, shining Chrysanthemum that thrives in the sunlight. While he and my brothers are a group of Moonflowers that bask in the soft moonlight’.”

As William listened to her repeat Rika’s analogy, he was suddenly reminded of what he had told him when he had taken William to the rooftop when they had first met.

“ I…want you to keep Zera from coming back to the Black Market.”

“ Zera is too good for that place, you’ve seen her shop, she worked herself to the bone in order to get that place. She doesn’t belong in the Black Market Captain Vangeance, and I think you know that just as much as I do.”

“ Besides, when you two get married, how do you think it’s going to look if people see a Captain’s wife going in and out of there?”

“ So, this was what he meant…” William thought sadly as he reached out to hold her hands and gently rubbed the back of them with his thumbs.

He and Rika both knew there was no way that they could keep Zera from going to the Black Market as long as he and her brothers were there; so, to stop her from going there, they must’ve decided to remove themselves from the area completely.

“ I’m sorry dear, I’m so sorry,” He apologized softly as he stood up, sat down on the bed beside her, and pulled her into a comforting embrace.

He held her gently as cried against his chest, muttering how this wasn’t fair, that she hadn’t asked for this to happen, and William couldn’t help but empathize and sympathize with her.

Many years ago, when William’s father had come to collect him in the Forsaken realm after his other son, the original heir to House Vangeance, had died he had asked the universe the exact same questions.

Going from peasant or commoner to a noble nearly overnight wasn’t as easy as one may think…

As Zera’s sobs slowly turned into quiet sniffles he continued to cradle her against him gently, slowly rubbing soothing circles on her back until she calmed down and pulled away from him slightly.

“ Aah, I’m sorry, this wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go,” She sniffled as she began to wipe her tears away. “ Tonight was supposed to be a lot sexier than this.”

William chuckled and shook his head as he reached a hand up and began to wipe her tears away as well.

“ It’s alright, there will be plenty of other nights where we can be sexy,” He told her before cringing slightly as the words left his lips, why did it sound so cute and sexy when she said things like that, but awkward and cheesy when he did?

However, to his surprise, Zera began to giggle, and a genuine smile finally appeared on her face.

“ But not every night will be our wedding night,” She pouted slightly as her giggles subsided. “ And, because this was a special occasion, I even picked out a new lingerie set.”

William’s throat suddenly went dry as his mind went straight into the gutter as the image of her wearing lingerie popped into his mind. But he quickly shook the thought away.

“ Well, why don’t you wear it on our honeymoon? That way it won’t ‘go to waste’.” He suggested, and he watched her eyes light up as he mentioned their honeymoon.

“ That’s right, we still have our honeymoon in Raque,” She said with a small, excited clap of her hands. “ I had nearly forgotten about that!”

William chuckled and shook his head; at first it concerned him how quickly Zera could go from one emotion to another, however now he was no longer concerned, but instead was amazed by it. It showed him just how resilient she was…just like a wildflower.

“ So, tonight, instead of doing anything ‘fun’ or ‘sexy’ we just…lie in bed together and relax. Maybe have a drink or two as well?” He suggested as he gently placed a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.

“ And tomorrow, when we go on our honeymoon, we can have all the sexy fun we want?” She asked with a look in her eye that almost made William blush.

“ Yes, when we go on our honeymoon tomorrow, we can do whatever you want.” He told her with a soft and amused smile.

However, when he saw the wicked smirk on Zera’s face, he couldn’t help but feel like he might regret those words.

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope you all have a good day~!

#black clover #black clover fanfiction #dandelion wishes #oc; zera #william vangeance #zerilliam #zera x william #william x zera #black clover oc

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