#this wasnt meant to be particularly in character but I do think I got closer than I thought I would when I picked this song

[bunnieswithknives]

Fiyero gives Boq dating tips :3

Song: Dating Tips by That Handsome Devil

[bizarreandjarring]

Disco thoughts - tw substance abuse

i've seen a couple of posts which talk about how kim's character is basically a wish fulfillment for somebody with mental health and/or substance abuse problems - he listens without judgement, helps you, and stays by your side. this is very true but i wanted to add my two cents on the fact that it feels the same way from the other end - that harry is wish fulfillment for people who are close to people with susbtance abuse problems.

playing disco has been a super interesting experience for me, i didnt understand the content of the game before i played it, it hit a lot closer to home than i thought it would on many fronts. growing up someone in my family, specifically in the same household as me, had very serious substance abuse issues. there was an attempt to shield me from it mostly, but that just meant that i didnt really understand why and what was happening and the implications of it. it really scarred my childhood and shaped a large part of who i am in a way that i deeply dislike and resent. that person is still in my life now, they are clean and have been for years, but the memories remain. it is particularly hard to have them in my life because aside from anything that happened in the past, they are a huge bigot, with a huge ego, and have a lot of problems empathizing with others and being nice for once and not a giant asshole.

it feels so stupid to say that part of me will always be angry at them because they never even apologised? they wanted to move past everything that happened so bad that they never said sorry, never acknowledged my pain

anyway, to get to the point, this is why harry really came across as wish fulfillment for me personally. he's big and drunk and stumbling and smoking, saying the wrong thing all the time, outbursts at any second, he's done bad things, he's coming down and he's miserable. i know that man. i've known that man for a long time now. i hate that man and i love him almost against my own will. but unlike in real life, in the game (depending on how you play) you can have him say im sorry, you can make him get clean and really stay that way. you can have him be nice to kids and help them start a stupid dance club and make friends and make amends and really fucking try. and that was cathartic for me on a level that i wasnt really prepared for. after i thought about this it made me understand why i sympathised with jean so little. in my mind, if you have an addict in your life this is the dream scenario! why is jean so angry doesn't he know how good he's got it?! obviously the two situations are in no way 1:1, but i couldnt help thinking that if that person in my life turned around tomorrow and said - im sorry, i fucked up and hurt you, im going to do better, im going to be kinder, maybe there is something in this world for me other than hurt...

well fuck i'd take it, i'd hold onto it for dear life

TLDR - harry can be wish fulfillment for people who have people in their lives with substance abuse issues. HDB lives inside my heart and he's telling me to chug cough syrup but im ignoring him

[aegialia]

self-indulgent reflection on being on tumblr

so i recently hit 1000 followers on here and this blog has existed for almost exactly 8 years, so i wanted to ramble about tumblr and my experience of it for awhile. under the cut so definitely feel free to ignore this.

i started this blog right around when i was fourteen and had just started high school. at that point, i was out to my parents (and no one else) as bi, i had an inkling i was Struggling with something but i had no idea what and felt like i couldnt actually acknowledge it, and i had left leaning but very vague politics. tumblr definitely has shaped my journey around sexuality/gender/mental health/politics, both for good and for ill. 

for good: 

seeing other ppl talk about being lesbians helped me realize i could be a lesbian w/o being a traitor to the concept of bisexuality. hearing trans ppl talk about their experiences and explaining non-binary stuff and dysphoria helped me understand what i was going through 

i don’t like talking about my mental health stuff in detail on here, but suffice to say, i was Going Through it in high school. i’m still going through it now, but i am in a much better place (thank you medication and 7 years of therapy!). seeing ppl talk about the weird, dumb, awful parts of mental illness let me acknowledge that i was going through those things too, that i wasnt like evil for feeling like that, that i could change. people talking about adhd/autism was particularly helpful---being able to identify why i’d always felt like my brain just didn’t work right is the first step in the (ongoing) process of not hating myself for the way my brain works

politics is definitely the area where i think tumblr was the best for me. i got exposed to so many opinions i definitely wasn’t hearing in school, from intelligent, well-read people who could articulate theory in ways i could understand. tumblr didn’t give me my politics and i didn’t learn everything i know about theory from it, but the communities of people i was around pointed me in the right directions. tumblr was also a good place to learn how to react to criticism. this doesn’t seem to be most people’s experience, but getting called out over minor things on tumblr genuinely helped me learn how to take a step back, look at my behavior, apologize, and try to change, which, as it turns out, is a helpful skill irl as well

for ill:

wrt sexuality and gender, it’s probably pretty obvious someone who’s journey is ‘cis bi girl -> cis with a million different microlabels -> nb w a million different microlabels for both sexuality and gender -> nb butch lesbian who’s not super into romance’ would have some bad times on tumblr. the bi circles i was in made being a lesbian seem like an immoral choice, the ‘’’mogai’’’ (or whatever u wanna call them) circles made me feel like i had to divy up and perfectly label every aspect of myself in a way that really wasn’t helpful for me, the lesbian circles i was in made me feel like being a lesbian was about ending up in a monogamous butch/femme cottagecore relationship and that there was something wrong with me for not really wanting that. to be clear i think microlabels can be very helpful for people/a monogamous butch/femme relationship is a perfectly fine thing to want, they just didn’t work for me. im very very glad ive reached a point in my life where i dont feel the need to stay up to date on the latest discourse and am more focused on finding a way to exist that is comfortable for me and supporting my community irl. 10/10 would recommend to everyone

not going to get deep into it, but social media is. not good for my brain in general. i still enjoy using tumblr, but these days im pretty careful to step back from it frequently and treat it as an occasional hobby. 

the cons of political stuff on tumblr are probably also very obvious. there are some just awful discussions on here and the culture surrounding the way we handle bad behavior and justice and accountability and working to become a better person and make up for the harm you’ve caused has historically been fucking awful and trying to unlearn it and find new ways to engage with this stuff is exhausting. 

for all that i’ve changed over the course of having this blog, this blog has stayed pretty fucking static. i started out being super into diana wynne jones and the iliad and those are still two of my biggest interests and things i talk about the most on here. there are definitely specific things that have petered away (i started this blog almost entirely to keep up with good omens fan stuff and i pretty much haven’t touched it since the miniseries came out, i haven’t sought out pacific rim/supernatural/elementary/mcu content in years), but im still pretty much interested in the same things. i like relatively small fandoms, i like weird side characters, i like to be a grumpy child playing with my toys in the corner. when a fandom im in gets popular, i tend to stop engaging with it entirely (hello rqg/tma/good omens/enola holmes!). i dont think its a pretentious ‘i liked it before it was cool’ thing so much as a ‘people get Weird and awful when a fandom hits a certain level of popularity and there’s too much content and i really, really hate the bad faith arguments larger fandoms tend to spawn’ thing. i’ll consume content from big fandoms, but i pretty much refuse to actually engage with them at this point.

one of the stranger parts of my experience of tumblr is the social side. i’ve never really known how people make friends online---how do you go from liking each other’s posts and occasionally replying to them to actually being friends who communicate off social media? i’ve had conversations with ppl on tumblr and i’ve had sort-of friendships that are contained to tumblr where i’d like to get to know them better, but i’ve never figured out how to do that. my best friend’s job is pretty much to make friends/connections on the internet (she’s an activist and artist), my dad knows people everywhere in the world from twitter, and i’m just sitting here like a little old grandpa who doesn’t understand how you can have internet friends. 

at this point in my life, i’m fine with this, but this has made me feel real fucking bad in the past---like, if everyone online, even the ppl who say they’re weird and brainbad in a similar way to me, can make friends on the internet, what’s wrong with me? particularly in high school and my first year of college, when i was just horribly lonely all the time, it made me feel super disconnected and like there was something fundamentally bad about me. these days, i’m a lot chiller about it. i use social media to engage with stuff i enjoy and share my thoughts about it. it’s okay that my social difficulties extend to me not knowing how to use the internet to socialize.

on a somewhat related topic, it’s wild that i have 1000 followers. obviously, that’s not an actually super large number and a huge number of them are probably bots or inactive. if you post consistently for eight years and follow lots of people, like i do, it’s not a surprise to end up with this many followers. it is also, thankfully, the sort of followers that are not fans. probably most ppl following this blog dont remember why they followed and dont know anything about me or my interests. this sounds like its meant to be depressing but it’s not. i like that my way of engaging w the internet lets me do pretty much whatever i want and no one will care. the mere concept of being. like. tumblr famous in any capacity, even just in one community/fandom, is viscerally horrifying to me. 

i really enjoy the space i’ve created for myself on here. on one hand, going back through my blog is obviously embarrassing and full of hating my past self. on the other hand, i now have a very nice collection of things i enjoy in this blog. i like seeing what i’ve been interested in and (when i’m in a good mental health place) i like to be able to remember how i thought and talked about the things i loved when i was younger. im not at the place in my life where i can love a younger version of myself, but sometimes i can laugh at zir with a level of fondness. 

i’ve always been paranoid about sharing details about my life on here (and the fact that my parents have always been able to see it certainly contributed), so the version of jack on here is a carefully curated version, who’s super enthusiastic about the things they love, was very conscientious about apologizing and trying to do better when ze messed up, and tried to be polite to others. that’s a younger version of myself that i’m closer to being able to have compassion for than the version i find in essays and poems and memories. 

i’m starting grad school in ten days and i’m still using the blog i started when i began high school. tumblr has helped me in a lot of ways and hurt me in a lot of ways, but i still have to admit that it’s been a significant factor in shaping me. i’d be incredibly embarrassed to admit that irl, but it’s true. other than my family and like one friend, this blog is one of the only things that’s ‘known’ me since i started high school. i’ve changed so much in that time and im glad to have this weird little record of myself throughout those changes, even if i’d probably warn my younger self away from tumblr if i could go back in time.

tl;dr i have had a mixed experience on tumblr and i have mixed feelings about that experience. no idea if anyone read any of this very long, very rambling internet memoir

p.s. fun facts about this blog:

i’ve never changed my icon or blog title

i recently got a second version of the poster i got my blog title from. i chose my blog title by looking at what was hanging on the wall directly in front of me. 

my original url was gloomthkin. this was not, as you’d probably assume, an otherkin thing. i had literally no idea what otherkin was at that point. i’d just learned the word gloomth from a bill bryson book and thought it would be cool n edgy to be the child of the quality of gloom. i changed my url after i learned what otherkin was and realized everyone probably assumed something about me that wasn’t true which i hated (not bc i had an issue w otherkin, just bc i don’t like ppl thinking untrue things about me)

during my good omens days, i once sent a tumblr ask to nail guyman which, in retrospect, was kinda rude. i stand by the content but id never send an ask like that now. he replied to it privately in a way that so deeply embarrassed and shamed 15 year old me that i’ve never gotten over it. i still get nervous and embarrassed when i see anything about him or his books

[lucidpantone]

Dude the Druck tag is like entering the 1500s pre-renaissance 😷😷😷💀💀💀 why are they so averse to actual human bodies being shown while sex?! Also, one can show intimacy without nudity. It just needs to be captured from a closer range. I completely understand nudity is not everyone's cup of tea and the male gaze is definitely a thing that needs to be done away with.

But I simply don't like how much Druck leans away from showing real passion. I'm not saying go hardcore, but like.. it's too lackluster for me personally. I never warmed up to kieutou anyway, bit of a weird combo that one. Even skames were never explicit in their portrayal, but they never lacked in passion. I got more chills looking at dani x amira scenes who couldn't even do anything physical. Reason being chemistry and gradual build up of sexual tension. Druck doesn't build it up like at all. Like why is my heart not racing. And pacing who? They don't know her. They never let Fatou or Kieu My actresses emote beyond 3 standard expressions max, 4 on a good day. I don't blame the talent. It just wasn't properly directed. Like bro? Where's the range? Ava and Nora have exhibited emotional diversity in the way Fatou and Mailin haven't been able to. I hate how they Ava got a better storyline in Fatou's season than Fatou herself. (Irene and Tamara were a hurricane of emotions man I miss my gaybies so much it hurts I keep circling back to skames sorry. That clip where Joana starts spiralling on the bridge? Chills!)

Don't even get me started on that didactic echo chamber of the Druck tag where people just keep going 'tHiS iS hOw iT ShOuLd bE' like fuck off? There's no one right way to do things. Unfortunately for translations and text messages I have to go through the tag and end up reading so much bullshit ugh.

I just go strait to drucktranslations at this point or skamenespanol. I rarely go into the druck tag anymore but I saw this clip and wanted to reblog cute gifs plus i loved the cinematography in this clip and the colors choices were beautiful and yea went in and got hit with the 'tHiS iS hOw iT ShOuLd bE' discourse.

I think they did kieutou a disservice because fatou relationship is just meant to be one aspect of her story but we spent almost to much time going back and forth/back and forth but never developed any other stories so in away i got sick of kieutou taking up so much of the plot. I wanted to learn more about fatou and her learning disorder and also why she kept allowing Mailin to say certain things and I know we had that one conversation where she finally told mailin the issue wasnt about her struggles when the disposal company comes to clean out the closet but I just wanted more assertive conversations. I would have love a convo where Fatou just schools mailin no holds bar on why she was actually losing her job and why she wasnt being allowed to count the till. Like why did Ava get this storyline instead of Fatou. She was the main. Ava should have been the supportive actor because fatou was the one experiencing the consequences of micro racism at her job. This annoys me so much. I also like the little bit about fatou saying she feels disconnected in away from her heritage when she mentioned her grandad. I get that as a kid of immigrants. That is such an interesting topics to discuss they were so many good topics that were right there but instead we spent it on another kieutou clip and it was like we get it already she is gay and has some relationship issues. We dont need clip 15 of the girls fighting. Also am gonna be frank I think the actresses for kieutou aren't as strong as mayla & crisana actresses. Its subjective but they dont beam off screen for me like Falvie, Rizha, Ayumi and Irene. They were good, certainly not bad but they weren't my fav purely based on acting skills. Crisana is always gonna be memorable because they have that over the top evak style loud love and also those two are sooo dramatic asf and agreed Rizha can be really fantastic at times but she is also portraying Even and so her character is naturally pretty complex and a rollercoaster. There is a lot of layers to Joana same with Lola. I guess thats what is missing for me kieutou doesn't have like these 1inch thick layers. Kieu My is a bit better then Fatou but i just wanted more complexity particularly form Fatou since she was my main. She felt so cookie cutter and I was like she has so many interesting dilemmas can we please explore one at length instead of more relationship drama.

[niennavalier]

Okay, belated Star Wars thoughts under the cut; no particular order, just as I think of them. Possibly some unpopular opinions, I dont really know, I'm not all that active in the SW fandom. So maybe I'll get roasted alive but...eh, whatever, this site is somewhere between an void and hell anyway.

Also SPOILERS BELOW (OBVIOUSLY)

[[MORE]]

Okay, so first things first: I enjoyed episode 9. A lot. It was really fun to watch, and just talking in terms of my experience in the theater, it was fantastic. It was so much fun to see the old crew back, all of those appearances were basically like happiness shots in the arm. It was really very cool. The Palpatine reveal and everything around it was pretty damn epic for the obvious reasons. And I absolutely loved seeing the trio bantering and arguing and passing each other - I always love stuff like that. I swear, just give me hours of good character interaction and I'll be happy. Kylo and Rey fighting together/him using the blue lightsaber was also some cool shit and basically like "yaasss heres the payoff for the entire trilogy let's fucking gooo"

Oh, and I need to mention that little droid that Rey fixes. That little guy was adorable and I want merch for him and I will not hear otherwise. (The droids are always great in all the movies fight me)

Also Zorii and Jannah. Badasses, loved watching them and the way they got to interact with the main cast. Just...wanna spill all the love for them in this sentence.

But there are a lot of other things I have to say about the movie - especially the more I think about it and the trilogy as a whole. Dont get me wrong; I still really loved watching the movie. There are just...certain things that feel like missteps or missed opportunities?

(Not counting how badly Oscar Isaac wanted Finn and Poe to be boyfriends, which I just discovered is a thing. And reminds me a lot of anytime anyone mentions Julian Bashir to Andy Robinson and his response is always "oh Garak wanted to have sex with him from the start". Which I literally love so much, this man is a treasure, and I'm glad that apparently the same thing is happening here. And it's not that I'm not gonna talk about it here cause I dont think Poe and Finn should've been boyfriends, but I'm pretty sure Oscar Isaac has much more to say about it than I do)

Gonna start where I always start when I have problems with writing: romance. Because IMO badly written/unnecessary romance can ruin any good story real quick. I'm talking about the kiss at the end. I'm not saying this to bash on the Rey and Kylo shippers. Generally, I dont care what you ship so long as you dont start harassing everyone else; I care even less when it comes to this fandom cause I just participate in it so little. So this isnt me bashing on the ship itself or the fans, but I just think that, in the context of the movie itself, the romance was really poorly handled. To the point that I saw the scene going that way and all I could think was "oh god please dont kiss, I'm begging you". And well...we all know where that went. But I just never got a romantic vibe from the two of them in terms of what was shown on screen. The chemistry always felt familial, at least to me, across episodes 8 and 9 in particular. I dont know if that's just the chemistry between the actors or what, but the tension between them never struck me as romantic - more like two people desperate for someone who understands the chaos around them, not lovers.

Again, granted, maybe that's just the way I read stuff, especially considering I really appreciate movies that don't feature romance arcs. I'm not sure how it read to other people, and I'm not gonna bash on the shippers who like it. I may feel like JJ Abrams didnt write a convincing romance - or just stuck the kiss in there at the end to fulfill some plan from episode 7 that didnt actually pan out - but I have no problem with the ship itself, or the people who ship it. (Because at the end of the day, this is all fiction, and I couldnt care less how anyone chooses to interact with it)

(And this isnt an entirely rated point but because I've seen it around:

In all honesty, I'm starting to think that the romance thing was just a symptom of a bigger problem with this trilogy: it doesnt feel cohesive. It's like JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson had two separate sets of notes and just refused to actually look between them. Two separate sets of ideas that they were too stubborn to compromise on.

And I have a feeling (at least, talking to my little brother, who definitely feels this way) that a lot of people are pinning this fragmented feel to the trilogy on Rian Johnson and The Last Jedi, but I honestly don't think that's fair. Because, and here's the unpopular opinion: I really don't think Last Jedi is that bad. At least, not bad enough to deserve all the flak it gets.

Won't get into that entirely here because that could be a whole separate post, but that's my opinion. Sure, it's not perfect, there are definitely a lot of parts that are pretty irrelevant and not really necessary, but that's true of everything. Frankly, its biggest problem was that it was written for the wrong audience. Which is a major problem, yes, but taken for what it is, it's perfectly decent. As I said before, I could write a whole thing on this movie and why it's not that bad (because I have my brother's points as to why it's terrible for me to argue against) but overall, my reading of 8 is that it's a movie meant to introduce wider ideas and concepts to the universe - particularly this very gray and murky area of morality and character - through stories that are closer to the characters and tied to harsher realities of war. Things aren't always black and white, people are complex, sometimes our heroes can be gravely wrong in ways that aren't glamorous.

Frankly, it feels somewhere between a super deep indie movie and Star Trek (particularly DS9, at least to me, because I love when that show gets to twisty moral stuff). So yeah, wrong audience, yet he decided to stick with his storytelling despite that. No matter I personally might fall into the audience that movie resonates with, it wasnt gonna resonate with most of the fandon.

Again, Last Jedi is far from perfect in other ways too, but it sets up some great ideas that I was really hoping to get some closure on. Honorable mention here is when Rose saves Finn when he's speeding out to sacrifice himself and because of the desire to save the people they love, which I always end up likening to the "we dont trade lives" sentiment. Mentioning this cause my brother always complains about it, but I was thinking this would be one of those virtues that separate the good guys from the bad guys and ultimately allow good to triumph. Yknow, sorta like how Voldemort's lack of understanding of love contributed to his downfall, to liken it to HP. I was under the assumption that would be the concept at some turning point in the climax, but...guess not.

Big one though, which was actually a pretty big disappointment IMO, was the whole neutrality argument, the existence of a grey area. The most interesting thing from Rey and Kylo's scenes in 8 was the notion that the Jedi and Sith could be left to die, and the two of them would essentially find a way separate from those two sides, walking a path down the middle. I know I'm not the first person to bring this up, especially because of how the Force just...works. That the scales need to be balanced. And so, given that, to have the Jedi always destroy the Sith - that's not balance. Give it a few more years and the same problem is gonna happen; if there are Jedi, there will be Sith and war is gonna break out. That's hardly resolution, so neutrality is the way to go. And, personal opinion - I loved that this ended up in 8. It's just a lot more nuanced than "good vs evil, good is victorious" and brought in new ideas to this universe that I really wanted to see explored.

But that just...never happened. Sure, Rey has that yellow lightsaber at the end, but it's really very little more than the barest hint of lip service to that entire concept. Because it's never built on throughout the movie. Kylo's insistence that they look for a different way turns into a demand that she basically become his Sith queen. Which isnt playing with the gray area - it's more firmly dividing light and dark. And as she's fighting Palpatine, he's all the Sith, while she's all the Jedi; doubt that needs further explanation. Sure yeah, she's dealing with the revelation of her bloodline throughout the movie, but that interaction with the dark side is very different than in 8; she's afraid of it (a character arc I love, dont get me wrong), not lured by it. The Sith are very clearly evil, and despite her family, she comes to embody the Jedi as a whole. The opposite of what was laid out in 8.

Which actually just makes her choice to take the yellow lightsaber make even less sense? Because...she has no reason at all to turn away from the Jedi and every reason to keep using the Light side. The only possible reason by that point is if she knows about the balance and makes that choice intentionally to prevent the rise of a Sith lord. But that choice is never shown, so I dont give that a pass. It just feels like the lamest nod to something from 8 - no buildup, no explanation, just there because it technically should be.

And that fucking sucks. What a waste. Puts so much space between these movies.

The romance might be another aspect of that - 8 didnt really give me a strong romantic vibe, and then 9 tried to benefit off of buildup of romantic tension that just wasnt there. And that romance isnt the only other one. Just the existence of Palpatine at all? Like, awesome plot yes, but not at all foreshadowed. The banter between the trio at the start? One of my favorite parts to watch, but it comes out of nowhere, and I guess we just have to live with the idea that all of the development happened off screen. Lame. The return of the fucking helmet? Fuck, i actually have more i can say about the way i interpreted the helmet, but this is getting long. So point being: it's like we just got zipped right back to episode 7 all of a sudden and didnt even get a symbolic moment of him losing the helmet in 9 (at least, not that I remember).

Really, on the whole, JJ Abrams basically did the beginning of 9 such that most of 8 could be made irrelevant. Because that's how I felt throughout the whole movie; like 8 didnt matter. And I know a lot of fans are honestly happy with that (so maybe if was actually the right choice on that front) but god does it make the whole trilogy clunky. Literally nothing flows.

And I think that's my main problem with the trilogy as a whole - or, rather, with the production behind it. It's like JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson were just so goddamned married to their ideas that they wouldnt budge from the story they wanted to tell. Like they put their individual creative visions above the quality of the story as a whole. Like they weren't willing to deal with any changes that they didn't put into play themselves. And the trilogy suffered for it.

Which is really so obnoxious to me. Because it is very possible to be flexible and improv and incorporate other ideas into what you already had; just look at D&D. That's the job of a DM. You can plan everything out perfectly, figure out the story you want to tell, decide how you want everyone to interact with your world, but the players will invariably fuck those plans over. And you just have to roll with the punches. But beyond that, those changes can be for the better, because those are ideas you never thought of, and incorporating those makes for an even richer story than anyone expected. All because the people involved are willing to see where the story naturally takes itself.

Just wish these directors could understand that.

(Also...what was Finn gonna tell Rey? I mean...? This is honestly the strangest thing about the movie because it literally felt like the writers just...forgot they ever had this plot point after halfway. Which just feels like sloppy writing, and I feel Poe when he seems to be really curious what Finn wants to tell Rey. Because...me too!)

[espytalks]

The studio

Couldn't sleep, so here's take 2 of the thing I tried to write the other day. fair warning though it gets dark.

Knox didn't know how he got there, or why, but he figured since he was there, it wouldn't hurt to look around the old studio. His footsteps echoed loudly in the silent halls, floorboards creaking every now and then as he stepped on a loose board. Such a place, so empty and quiet, might have seemed creepy and menacing to anyone else, and Knox did take note of that, but despite the haunted aesthetic, he felt completely safe. He knew this place, even after all these years. How can you be afraid of your own home? 

He walked slowly through the halls, observing posters of cartoons that were barely finished, rushed in order to meet deadlines. He felt a twinge of sympathy for the artists. In the short time he lived there, he could tell they were overworked and stressed, and in hindsight he realized they probably were underpaid as well, promised money from profits that never came. They had hoped, too late, that bringing in living toons would ease the workload, would help out the employees at the studio, but in the end the cost to make them was too high. Not long after Knox came into existence, the company shut down, and the studio was abandoned.

Knox always meant to come back some day. To remember the good times he had at the studio, but time slipped away from him. He had gotten busy, with other projects, with his own deadlines, until the thought was pushed further and further to the back of his mind. But now, he had a chance to make up for his forgotten promise, and stepped into each room carefully, taking in every detail. 

There was the writer's desks, papers semi-organised, but yellowed with age. There were pens and ink bottles laying around, and some papers had half finished stories written on them, and some crumpled up in trash bins nearby. Knox figured those must be failed first drafts. He picked up a page from one of the desks, but the writing was too messy for him to read. He hoped it had made sense to the person who wrote it.

He moved on to the storyboarding area, small pieces of paper with quick drawings on them taped to the wall, but only filling about a third of the space. Another sign of work half done. Perhaps this is a bit depressing, Knox thought, before moving on to the background artists room.

He walked immediately to a specific desk, out of habit. A wonderful woman used to work there, who he remembered well. She was so kind, and patient as he asked questions, and let him watch her work. He always admired her talent, and speed. She could get may detailed backgrounds done incredibly fast compared to the others at the studio, so she was often ahead of schedule.

She liked to talk about her dog Owen, a mutt she has taken into her life years ago, and had been having some health problems when the studio was at its end. But she was always optimistic, insisting he was still his happy little self. He realized suddenly that she was almost certainly gone now, and he felt an all too familiar ache in his heart at the thought. She seemed so full of life, and energy. The thought that he'd never see her again...? He suddenly felt terrible he never thought to try to visit her one last time. He took a moment to hold back tears and collect himself. He had gotten good at hiding this feeling, at least in appearance. 

Once he calmed down, he continued on towards the back of the studio. There was the directors office, and the music department. He spent quite a while in the latter, observing instruments he had no idea how to use decades ago, but could now play with relative ease, especially the piano, an instrument he particularly enjoyed practicing on at home. He took the time to dust it off, and played a melody off the top of his head. 

When he was satisfied, he moved once more, passing by Kevin the janitors' closet. He was a grumpy old man who- 

Wait. Knox never knew a Kevin at this studio. He was the only one there who went by that name, he was certain. So why did he suddenly feel so sure another of his namesake had worked there? He was suddenly dizzy, and held a hand out to study himself, five fingers pressed firmly against a wall. When the moment passed, he looked around in confusion. What was he doing again? 

Oh right, he thought, feeling silly, a four fingered hand smoothed down stray fur on his head. He was walking through the studio. Of course. And he was coming up to the final room. Behind a door he knew to be locked was a room he had only been in once, and only briefly, in his life. It was locked soon after he was born, the first room to be abandoned. He, along with the rest of the studio, had ignored the room, but now Knox was filled with curiosity. He wanted to see the machine that made him. 

He tried the handle, and was surprised to find it unlocked. He supposed that made it easier on him. He didn't quite feel like snooping around for an hour looking for keys. He entered the room, and, for the first time, observed with detail the ink machine. 

It was huge, taking up the whole wall, with pipes, switches, and gears in seemingly random and unnecessary places. The main part, however, had four large pipes leading into large containers of some sort of ink. Another pipe stuck out from the front, leading to a glass box in the center of the room. He figured that was where the mixture ended up, and somehow it turned into a cartoon character? It didn't make sense to him. 

Even by toon logic, he felt it was a bit weird that that was all it took. Maybe something happened inside it when he turned it on? It certainly made a lot of mess whenever it was operational. Ink stains were all over the place in the room, and many spots on the machine were black from ink that was never cleaned. He groaned in annoyance. This darn thing was a pain ta clean. And ya had to turn it on ta clean some parts of it, too, and half the time it just added to the problem. He was about to turn it on to clean it when Knox realized he shouldn't know how to do that. Why did he know how to do that? 

The dizziness came again, and he swayed, knocking himself back into the machine. Through the fuzziness in his head he heard switches click, and gears starting to turn. He started to panic, and backed up, trying to think clearly, but failing. Suddenly he could feel his foot slipping on something, and he felt himself falling back, and then hitting something hard. The box in the center of the room.

He stood up, mind suddenly clear, but was instantly met with a wall that wasnt there before. He tried all the sides, but all met with the same result. He was trapped. 

The machine was running. 

Gears turned.

Lights glowed. 

Pipes started to run through 80 year old ink. 

And it was going to run right in to the box Knox was trapped in. 

Knox was terrified. He banged against the walls, yelling at the top of his lungs, hoping someone, anyone, could hear him before it's too late, before the ink flowed and filled the chamber, before he drowned in the very think he was made of.

But nobody came.

Ink pored down, slowly at first, but multiplying in strength. Soon, his pants were soaked in knee high black liquid that was rising fast.

Ink pored down hard on his head as he desperately tried to ram into the walls, to make a crack large enough for the pressure to shatter the box, but the ink was slowing him down. It reached chest height, and all he could do was try to keep his head above the ink, as it rose above his shoulders, to his neck, until it was nearly full, and he was gasping for air. 

One final gulp of precious air, and he was submerged. His heart was beating fast, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold hold breath for long. Just a few more seconds, just hold on a few more seconds, and someone will come. He was sure of it. Just a few more - 

He couldn't hold it in any longer. He breathed out, and inhaled out of reflex, despise trying not to. And the burning pain was worse than holding his breath. He spasmed, trying to breathe, trying to be rid of the ink on his lungs, but all that came was more ink, more ink, more ink, more- 

The pain was starting to fade. Everything was starting to fade. He couldn't move. He tried, but everything was fading black, black like ink. He was sinking. And he thought, weakly, that he didn’t want to die. A wave of deja vu hit him before everything went dark, and he couldn't think anymore. 

---

---

And with a jolt, Knox sat up, gasping, in bed. His heart was pounding, as if to remind him that yes, it's still working, you're still alive, just breathe, now that there's finally air. He realized then that it was just the nightmare. He felt a rush of relief, and used that to slowly calm his breathing. 

Owen hopped into the bed at the moment, tilting his head to the side in confusion, or perhaps worry? It must have been, because he gestured at Knox, as if to ask him if he was alright. Knox realized he must have been making quite a bit of noise and woke the cartoon puppy up. He forced a small smile to comfort him. 

"It was just a bad dream, Pup pup," He said, surprisingly calm for how he felt just moments ago. "I'm alright. No need to worry." 

The puppy's posture became more relaxed as he grew less worried. He walked up closer to Knox and nudged him in the arm, and when Knox raised it, Owen circled around himself before lying down next to his owner. He closed his eyes, and the message was clear: he was going to sleep next to Knox to comfort him. 

Knox smiled, for real this time, at the gesture, before looking at his alarm clock. 4:13, it said. He didn't have to be up for a few more hours. He debated whether to get up and start the day early, but after a few minutes, Owen looked up and whined.

Go to sleep, ya big doof, he seemed to be saying. And Knox did feel tired. Maybe he could try to get son more rest, though he doubted he would actually fall asleep. He laid down, closed his eyes, and tried to relax.

---

Knox almost missed the alarm three hours later because of the dream he had. Owen had somehow gotten wings, and was trying to get him to be a pirate for revenge against an octopus. It was absolutely ridiculous in hindsight, but it was, without a doubt, the best dream he had in years.

Knox smiled a lot that day.

[adambstingus]

Raw director Julia Ducournau on how to make a horror film as creepy as possible

The brains behind the French cannibal film that overwhelmed Toronto audiences shares her tricks for creating menacing, hair-raising body horror

Julia Ducournaus debut feature film, Raw, made headlines at Toronto last year when a couple of horrified audience members fainted in the cinema and an ambulance had to be called. All publicity is good publicity, but the director wasnt thrilled.

For me, its really something that I could have done without, Ducournau said in January in Paris, to tells a room full of press. Her film which opened this week in Australia had just screened; none of us fainted. I saw it snowball on the internet for a week afterwards, and theres pretty much nothing you can do about that. At one point people were talking about a movie that is not mine … My movies not a shocker, its not a blood fest; its more than that.

Ducournaus cannibal horror film is as much body horror as it is black comedy and coming-of-age drama, and it uses the cinematic grammar of all three. Naive teen Justine (Garance Marillier) heads off to join her sister Alexia (Ella Rumpf) at veterinary college. As part of a brutal hazing, she is forced to eat a rabbit kidney and thats when the cravings take hold.

The film is troubling, riveting, claustrophobic and darkly hilarious. The Guardians Peter Bradshaw was among many critics who praised it: What is very impressive about Raw is that absolutely everything about it is disquieting, not just the obvious moments of revulsion: there is no let up in the ambient background buzz of fear, he wrote.

At the Paris press event, Ducournau examined a few of the techniques that had got her there.

I asked them to watch horror movies and drink beer

It should come as no surprise that a coming-of-age film about cannibalism, in which the protagonist is a virgin vegetarian woman, should be so much about flesh: the hating of it, the coveting of it, the grabbing and the biting of it. Key scenes revolve around intense physicality from the young actors, which meant the leads needed to get to know each other, fast.

From the first day of the shooting, I wanted them to be completely OK with each others bodies, Ducournau said. Obviously I didnt ask them to get naked in front of each other Im not a tyrant or a perv but I did ask them to watch horror movies together.

Under Ducournaus orders, Marillier, Rumpf and Rabah Nat Oufella (who plays Justines gay roommate and love interest, Adrien) gathered at Marilliers house before shooting began to watch scary movies.

When you watch horror movies together it creates something very intimate, the director said. For her part, she watches one a night. When youre scared, you tend to get a bit closer to the person next to you … and because they are different gender, it was [especially] important to me that they were completely at ease with each other. Of course, I asked them to drink beer as well.

From the first day of the shooting, I wanted [the cast] to be completely OK with each others bodies, says Raw director Julia Ducournau.

I put everything close to the ground

Much of the film takes place in college, particularly in college dorms, which swim in the organic, heaving messiness of teens. When you look in the room of a teenager, you will always have some food that is mixed with clothes and you always have these weird smells, Ducournau said. I wanted to give the impression of something that stinks a bit.

The heat and dank stickiness that pervades these rooms gives them a living, breathing quality that adds to the animalism of their inhabitants. But Ducournau wanted to somehow get her characters bodies to look less human, too. I wanted them to be like animals, on their all-fours, all the time, on their knees. So I asked the art director to put everything close to the ground.

The dorm beds are mattresses; the chairs are barely cushions; the desks are low and, if a character needs something, it will be at the bottom of the closet. The actors slouch and slump their shoulders, grasping at furniture to propel themselves through rooms; whole scenes play out on the floor.

Julia Ducournau: I wanted to give the impression of something that stinks a bit.

Without me even saying a word to them, this seemed to give them a more animal-like posture, she said. It also meant they needed lots of carpeting on set. If theyre always on their knees, there has to be a reason why and the reason is because its cosy, its possible. Otherwise I think nobody would believe it.

When we finished shooting, she was in tears

Raw is the third film Ducournau has worked on with Marillier, after the directors short film, Junior, and her TV movie, Mange. We are very, very close to each other in real life. We have a strong bond. We trust each other very much, the director said. It allows us to push the boundaries further and further.

Marilliers character Justine morphs through the movie from virgin vegetarian to well, its a cannibal film. She is just so different between the beginning and the end and obviously we couldnt shoot in chronological order, Im not that famous, Ducournau laughed. It meant Marillier had to switch between characters in a day, sometimes from one shot to another. That was a big challenge for her

Another challenge was the physicality of the role. As the tension reaches its peak, Justine is shot tight and close in bed under a sheet, writhing and thrashing and scratching her skin as she physically fights her urges.

I described it to her as alike [to] when junkies try to come clean; I showed her what I wanted to see a lot of like Trainspotting and stuff. And when we finished shooting that scene, she was really in tears … it was too intense somehow.

It didnt help that crew members had been prodding and poking the actor through the sheet. I wanted to create this sense that the body is super tensed and is expecting something to come and hit her, she said. She was really proud to have done this, afterwards; she was really, really relieved in a way, and very proud.

Garance Marillier in Raw. Photograph: Wild Bunch

Prosthetics are way more fun

For all the talk of the fainting, only a few scenes in the film show the horror of cannibalism up close and, where she could, Ducournau kept clear of digital effects. I like prosthetics, I think theyre way more fun what you get on screen is way more vivid and organic and gross, she said. Its also really great when you bring prosthetics to a set its like everyone is back in summer camp, everyone wants to touch it, wants to taste it, maybe you put some blood on your face. Its good for the spirit [of the set].

The cannibalism scene audiences have been reacting to most is not particularly gratuitous in fact it involves something as small, and as common, as a finger. I could have chosen way worse than a finger, right? I could have made it, like, tripes, brain, buttocks, something big and fat, you know? But I did not, Ducournau said.

Fingers are, in a horrible way, bite-sized and we spend so much time with them near our mouths. Thats why it worked. We all know that there are two things in a finger: there is a bone, and there is a nail. And we know that if we take off the very small amount of skin that there is on it, you get right to the bone.

When she eats it, you actually dont see that much, because its hidden between her own fingers, Ducournau said. That was part of the plan too. There were some things I had to show, and some I had to leave to my audiences imagination.

Raw is showing in select Australian cinemas from 20 April

Guardian Australia visited Rendez Vous with French Cinema in Paris as a guest of UniFrance

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/01/raw-director-julia-ducournau-on-how-to-make-a-horror-film-as-creepy-as-possible/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/162487830597

[samanthasroberts]

Raw director Julia Ducournau on how to make a horror film as creepy as possible

The brains behind the French cannibal film that overwhelmed Toronto audiences shares her tricks for creating menacing, hair-raising body horror

Julia Ducournaus debut feature film, Raw, made headlines at Toronto last year when a couple of horrified audience members fainted in the cinema and an ambulance had to be called. All publicity is good publicity, but the director wasnt thrilled.

For me, its really something that I could have done without, Ducournau said in January in Paris, to tells a room full of press. Her film which opened this week in Australia had just screened; none of us fainted. I saw it snowball on the internet for a week afterwards, and theres pretty much nothing you can do about that. At one point people were talking about a movie that is not mine … My movies not a shocker, its not a blood fest; its more than that.

Ducournaus cannibal horror film is as much body horror as it is black comedy and coming-of-age drama, and it uses the cinematic grammar of all three. Naive teen Justine (Garance Marillier) heads off to join her sister Alexia (Ella Rumpf) at veterinary college. As part of a brutal hazing, she is forced to eat a rabbit kidney and thats when the cravings take hold.

The film is troubling, riveting, claustrophobic and darkly hilarious. The Guardians Peter Bradshaw was among many critics who praised it: What is very impressive about Raw is that absolutely everything about it is disquieting, not just the obvious moments of revulsion: there is no let up in the ambient background buzz of fear, he wrote.

At the Paris press event, Ducournau examined a few of the techniques that had got her there.

I asked them to watch horror movies and drink beer

It should come as no surprise that a coming-of-age film about cannibalism, in which the protagonist is a virgin vegetarian woman, should be so much about flesh: the hating of it, the coveting of it, the grabbing and the biting of it. Key scenes revolve around intense physicality from the young actors, which meant the leads needed to get to know each other, fast.

From the first day of the shooting, I wanted them to be completely OK with each others bodies, Ducournau said. Obviously I didnt ask them to get naked in front of each other Im not a tyrant or a perv but I did ask them to watch horror movies together.

Under Ducournaus orders, Marillier, Rumpf and Rabah Nat Oufella (who plays Justines gay roommate and love interest, Adrien) gathered at Marilliers house before shooting began to watch scary movies.

When you watch horror movies together it creates something very intimate, the director said. For her part, she watches one a night. When youre scared, you tend to get a bit closer to the person next to you … and because they are different gender, it was [especially] important to me that they were completely at ease with each other. Of course, I asked them to drink beer as well.

From the first day of the shooting, I wanted [the cast] to be completely OK with each others bodies, says Raw director Julia Ducournau.

I put everything close to the ground

Much of the film takes place in college, particularly in college dorms, which swim in the organic, heaving messiness of teens. When you look in the room of a teenager, you will always have some food that is mixed with clothes and you always have these weird smells, Ducournau said. I wanted to give the impression of something that stinks a bit.

The heat and dank stickiness that pervades these rooms gives them a living, breathing quality that adds to the animalism of their inhabitants. But Ducournau wanted to somehow get her characters bodies to look less human, too. I wanted them to be like animals, on their all-fours, all the time, on their knees. So I asked the art director to put everything close to the ground.

The dorm beds are mattresses; the chairs are barely cushions; the desks are low and, if a character needs something, it will be at the bottom of the closet. The actors slouch and slump their shoulders, grasping at furniture to propel themselves through rooms; whole scenes play out on the floor.

Julia Ducournau: I wanted to give the impression of something that stinks a bit.

Without me even saying a word to them, this seemed to give them a more animal-like posture, she said. It also meant they needed lots of carpeting on set. If theyre always on their knees, there has to be a reason why and the reason is because its cosy, its possible. Otherwise I think nobody would believe it.

When we finished shooting, she was in tears

Raw is the third film Ducournau has worked on with Marillier, after the directors short film, Junior, and her TV movie, Mange. We are very, very close to each other in real life. We have a strong bond. We trust each other very much, the director said. It allows us to push the boundaries further and further.

Marilliers character Justine morphs through the movie from virgin vegetarian to well, its a cannibal film. She is just so different between the beginning and the end and obviously we couldnt shoot in chronological order, Im not that famous, Ducournau laughed. It meant Marillier had to switch between characters in a day, sometimes from one shot to another. That was a big challenge for her

Another challenge was the physicality of the role. As the tension reaches its peak, Justine is shot tight and close in bed under a sheet, writhing and thrashing and scratching her skin as she physically fights her urges.

I described it to her as alike [to] when junkies try to come clean; I showed her what I wanted to see a lot of like Trainspotting and stuff. And when we finished shooting that scene, she was really in tears … it was too intense somehow.

It didnt help that crew members had been prodding and poking the actor through the sheet. I wanted to create this sense that the body is super tensed and is expecting something to come and hit her, she said. She was really proud to have done this, afterwards; she was really, really relieved in a way, and very proud.

Garance Marillier in Raw. Photograph: Wild Bunch

Prosthetics are way more fun

For all the talk of the fainting, only a few scenes in the film show the horror of cannibalism up close and, where she could, Ducournau kept clear of digital effects. I like prosthetics, I think theyre way more fun what you get on screen is way more vivid and organic and gross, she said. Its also really great when you bring prosthetics to a set its like everyone is back in summer camp, everyone wants to touch it, wants to taste it, maybe you put some blood on your face. Its good for the spirit [of the set].

The cannibalism scene audiences have been reacting to most is not particularly gratuitous in fact it involves something as small, and as common, as a finger. I could have chosen way worse than a finger, right? I could have made it, like, tripes, brain, buttocks, something big and fat, you know? But I did not, Ducournau said.

Fingers are, in a horrible way, bite-sized and we spend so much time with them near our mouths. Thats why it worked. We all know that there are two things in a finger: there is a bone, and there is a nail. And we know that if we take off the very small amount of skin that there is on it, you get right to the bone.

When she eats it, you actually dont see that much, because its hidden between her own fingers, Ducournau said. That was part of the plan too. There were some things I had to show, and some I had to leave to my audiences imagination.

Raw is showing in select Australian cinemas from 20 April

Guardian Australia visited Rendez Vous with French Cinema in Paris as a guest of UniFrance

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/01/raw-director-julia-ducournau-on-how-to-make-a-horror-film-as-creepy-as-possible/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/01/raw-director-julia-ducournau-on-how-to-make-a-horror-film-as-creepy-as-possible/

[trendingnewsb]

Raw director Julia Ducournau on how to make a horror film as creepy as possible

The brains behind the French cannibal film that overwhelmed Toronto audiences shares her tricks for creating menacing, hair-raising body horror

Julia Ducournaus debut feature film, Raw, made headlines at Toronto last year when a couple of horrified audience members fainted in the cinema and an ambulance had to be called. All publicity is good publicity, but the director wasnt thrilled.

For me, its really something that I could have done without, Ducournau said in January in Paris, to tells a room full of press. Her film which opened this week in Australia had just screened; none of us fainted. I saw it snowball on the internet for a week afterwards, and theres pretty much nothing you can do about that. At one point people were talking about a movie that is not mine … My movies not a shocker, its not a blood fest; its more than that.

Ducournaus cannibal horror film is as much body horror as it is black comedy and coming-of-age drama, and it uses the cinematic grammar of all three. Naive teen Justine (Garance Marillier) heads off to join her sister Alexia (Ella Rumpf) at veterinary college. As part of a brutal hazing, she is forced to eat a rabbit kidney and thats when the cravings take hold.

The film is troubling, riveting, claustrophobic and darkly hilarious. The Guardians Peter Bradshaw was among many critics who praised it: What is very impressive about Raw is that absolutely everything about it is disquieting, not just the obvious moments of revulsion: there is no let up in the ambient background buzz of fear, he wrote.

At the Paris press event, Ducournau examined a few of the techniques that had got her there.

I asked them to watch horror movies and drink beer

It should come as no surprise that a coming-of-age film about cannibalism, in which the protagonist is a virgin vegetarian woman, should be so much about flesh: the hating of it, the coveting of it, the grabbing and the biting of it. Key scenes revolve around intense physicality from the young actors, which meant the leads needed to get to know each other, fast.

From the first day of the shooting, I wanted them to be completely OK with each others bodies, Ducournau said. Obviously I didnt ask them to get naked in front of each other Im not a tyrant or a perv but I did ask them to watch horror movies together.

Under Ducournaus orders, Marillier, Rumpf and Rabah Nat Oufella (who plays Justines gay roommate and love interest, Adrien) gathered at Marilliers house before shooting began to watch scary movies.

When you watch horror movies together it creates something very intimate, the director said. For her part, she watches one a night. When youre scared, you tend to get a bit closer to the person next to you … and because they are different gender, it was [especially] important to me that they were completely at ease with each other. Of course, I asked them to drink beer as well.

From the first day of the shooting, I wanted [the cast] to be completely OK with each others bodies, says Raw director Julia Ducournau.

I put everything close to the ground

Much of the film takes place in college, particularly in college dorms, which swim in the organic, heaving messiness of teens. When you look in the room of a teenager, you will always have some food that is mixed with clothes and you always have these weird smells, Ducournau said. I wanted to give the impression of something that stinks a bit.

The heat and dank stickiness that pervades these rooms gives them a living, breathing quality that adds to the animalism of their inhabitants. But Ducournau wanted to somehow get her characters bodies to look less human, too. I wanted them to be like animals, on their all-fours, all the time, on their knees. So I asked the art director to put everything close to the ground.

The dorm beds are mattresses; the chairs are barely cushions; the desks are low and, if a character needs something, it will be at the bottom of the closet. The actors slouch and slump their shoulders, grasping at furniture to propel themselves through rooms; whole scenes play out on the floor.

Julia Ducournau: I wanted to give the impression of something that stinks a bit.

Without me even saying a word to them, this seemed to give them a more animal-like posture, she said. It also meant they needed lots of carpeting on set. If theyre always on their knees, there has to be a reason why and the reason is because its cosy, its possible. Otherwise I think nobody would believe it.

When we finished shooting, she was in tears

Raw is the third film Ducournau has worked on with Marillier, after the directors short film, Junior, and her TV movie, Mange. We are very, very close to each other in real life. We have a strong bond. We trust each other very much, the director said. It allows us to push the boundaries further and further.

Marilliers character Justine morphs through the movie from virgin vegetarian to well, its a cannibal film. She is just so different between the beginning and the end and obviously we couldnt shoot in chronological order, Im not that famous, Ducournau laughed. It meant Marillier had to switch between characters in a day, sometimes from one shot to another. That was a big challenge for her

Another challenge was the physicality of the role. As the tension reaches its peak, Justine is shot tight and close in bed under a sheet, writhing and thrashing and scratching her skin as she physically fights her urges.

I described it to her as alike [to] when junkies try to come clean; I showed her what I wanted to see a lot of like Trainspotting and stuff. And when we finished shooting that scene, she was really in tears … it was too intense somehow.

It didnt help that crew members had been prodding and poking the actor through the sheet. I wanted to create this sense that the body is super tensed and is expecting something to come and hit her, she said. She was really proud to have done this, afterwards; she was really, really relieved in a way, and very proud.

Garance Marillier in Raw. Photograph: Wild Bunch

Prosthetics are way more fun

For all the talk of the fainting, only a few scenes in the film show the horror of cannibalism up close and, where she could, Ducournau kept clear of digital effects. I like prosthetics, I think theyre way more fun what you get on screen is way more vivid and organic and gross, she said. Its also really great when you bring prosthetics to a set its like everyone is back in summer camp, everyone wants to touch it, wants to taste it, maybe you put some blood on your face. Its good for the spirit [of the set].

The cannibalism scene audiences have been reacting to most is not particularly gratuitous in fact it involves something as small, and as common, as a finger. I could have chosen way worse than a finger, right? I could have made it, like, tripes, brain, buttocks, something big and fat, you know? But I did not, Ducournau said.

Fingers are, in a horrible way, bite-sized and we spend so much time with them near our mouths. Thats why it worked. We all know that there are two things in a finger: there is a bone, and there is a nail. And we know that if we take off the very small amount of skin that there is on it, you get right to the bone.

When she eats it, you actually dont see that much, because its hidden between her own fingers, Ducournau said. That was part of the plan too. There were some things I had to show, and some I had to leave to my audiences imagination.

Raw is showing in select Australian cinemas from 20 April

Guardian Australia visited Rendez Vous with French Cinema in Paris as a guest of UniFrance

Read more: http://ift.tt/2pn9drx

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2pP94g4 via Viral News HQ

[trendingnewsb]

Raw director Julia Ducournau on how to make a horror film as creepy as possible

The brains behind the French cannibal film that overwhelmed Toronto audiences shares her tricks for creating menacing, hair-raising body horror

Julia Ducournaus debut feature film, Raw, made headlines at Toronto last year when a couple of horrified audience members fainted in the cinema and an ambulance had to be called. All publicity is good publicity, but the director wasnt thrilled.

For me, its really something that I could have done without, Ducournau said in January in Paris, to tells a room full of press. Her film which opened this week in Australia had just screened; none of us fainted. I saw it snowball on the internet for a week afterwards, and theres pretty much nothing you can do about that. At one point people were talking about a movie that is not mine … My movies not a shocker, its not a blood fest; its more than that.

Ducournaus cannibal horror film is as much body horror as it is black comedy and coming-of-age drama, and it uses the cinematic grammar of all three. Naive teen Justine (Garance Marillier) heads off to join her sister Alexia (Ella Rumpf) at veterinary college. As part of a brutal hazing, she is forced to eat a rabbit kidney and thats when the cravings take hold.

The film is troubling, riveting, claustrophobic and darkly hilarious. The Guardians Peter Bradshaw was among many critics who praised it: What is very impressive about Raw is that absolutely everything about it is disquieting, not just the obvious moments of revulsion: there is no let up in the ambient background buzz of fear, he wrote.

At the Paris press event, Ducournau examined a few of the techniques that had got her there.

I asked them to watch horror movies and drink beer

It should come as no surprise that a coming-of-age film about cannibalism, in which the protagonist is a virgin vegetarian woman, should be so much about flesh: the hating of it, the coveting of it, the grabbing and the biting of it. Key scenes revolve around intense physicality from the young actors, which meant the leads needed to get to know each other, fast.

From the first day of the shooting, I wanted them to be completely OK with each others bodies, Ducournau said. Obviously I didnt ask them to get naked in front of each other Im not a tyrant or a perv but I did ask them to watch horror movies together.

Under Ducournaus orders, Marillier, Rumpf and Rabah Nat Oufella (who plays Justines gay roommate and love interest, Adrien) gathered at Marilliers house before shooting began to watch scary movies.

When you watch horror movies together it creates something very intimate, the director said. For her part, she watches one a night. When youre scared, you tend to get a bit closer to the person next to you … and because they are different gender, it was [especially] important to me that they were completely at ease with each other. Of course, I asked them to drink beer as well.

From the first day of the shooting, I wanted [the cast] to be completely OK with each others bodies, says Raw director Julia Ducournau.

I put everything close to the ground

Much of the film takes place in college, particularly in college dorms, which swim in the organic, heaving messiness of teens. When you look in the room of a teenager, you will always have some food that is mixed with clothes and you always have these weird smells, Ducournau said. I wanted to give the impression of something that stinks a bit.

The heat and dank stickiness that pervades these rooms gives them a living, breathing quality that adds to the animalism of their inhabitants. But Ducournau wanted to somehow get her characters bodies to look less human, too. I wanted them to be like animals, on their all-fours, all the time, on their knees. So I asked the art director to put everything close to the ground.

The dorm beds are mattresses; the chairs are barely cushions; the desks are low and, if a character needs something, it will be at the bottom of the closet. The actors slouch and slump their shoulders, grasping at furniture to propel themselves through rooms; whole scenes play out on the floor.

Julia Ducournau: I wanted to give the impression of something that stinks a bit.

Without me even saying a word to them, this seemed to give them a more animal-like posture, she said. It also meant they needed lots of carpeting on set. If theyre always on their knees, there has to be a reason why and the reason is because its cosy, its possible. Otherwise I think nobody would believe it.

When we finished shooting, she was in tears

Raw is the third film Ducournau has worked on with Marillier, after the directors short film, Junior, and her TV movie, Mange. We are very, very close to each other in real life. We have a strong bond. We trust each other very much, the director said. It allows us to push the boundaries further and further.

Marilliers character Justine morphs through the movie from virgin vegetarian to well, its a cannibal film. She is just so different between the beginning and the end and obviously we couldnt shoot in chronological order, Im not that famous, Ducournau laughed. It meant Marillier had to switch between characters in a day, sometimes from one shot to another. That was a big challenge for her

Another challenge was the physicality of the role. As the tension reaches its peak, Justine is shot tight and close in bed under a sheet, writhing and thrashing and scratching her skin as she physically fights her urges.

I described it to her as alike [to] when junkies try to come clean; I showed her what I wanted to see a lot of like Trainspotting and stuff. And when we finished shooting that scene, she was really in tears … it was too intense somehow.

It didnt help that crew members had been prodding and poking the actor through the sheet. I wanted to create this sense that the body is super tensed and is expecting something to come and hit her, she said. She was really proud to have done this, afterwards; she was really, really relieved in a way, and very proud.

Garance Marillier in Raw. Photograph: Wild Bunch

Prosthetics are way more fun

For all the talk of the fainting, only a few scenes in the film show the horror of cannibalism up close and, where she could, Ducournau kept clear of digital effects. I like prosthetics, I think theyre way more fun what you get on screen is way more vivid and organic and gross, she said. Its also really great when you bring prosthetics to a set its like everyone is back in summer camp, everyone wants to touch it, wants to taste it, maybe you put some blood on your face. Its good for the spirit [of the set].

The cannibalism scene audiences have been reacting to most is not particularly gratuitous in fact it involves something as small, and as common, as a finger. I could have chosen way worse than a finger, right? I could have made it, like, tripes, brain, buttocks, something big and fat, you know? But I did not, Ducournau said.

Fingers are, in a horrible way, bite-sized and we spend so much time with them near our mouths. Thats why it worked. We all know that there are two things in a finger: there is a bone, and there is a nail. And we know that if we take off the very small amount of skin that there is on it, you get right to the bone.

When she eats it, you actually dont see that much, because its hidden between her own fingers, Ducournau said. That was part of the plan too. There were some things I had to show, and some I had to leave to my audiences imagination.

Raw is showing in select Australian cinemas from 20 April

Guardian Australia visited Rendez Vous with French Cinema in Paris as a guest of UniFrance

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