#this wasnt intentional i just let my brain go wild

[yu-tap]

fucked around and fell in love with the devil

[iwasbored777]

so ur trolls posts got me to watch trolls world tour again. i remembered liking it but i couldnt remember why, but now i know for sure

I FCUKING LOVE TROLLS WORLD TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THE INCREDIBLE WRITERS WERE SECRETLY ON TROLLS 2 !!!!!!’n

I CANT TBINK OF A SINGLE FLAW IN TROLLS WOULD TOUR!!!!!!!

i was NOT expecting a brilliantly written masterpiece about colonialism, but thats what i got, and its going in the greatest of all time hall of fame in my brain forever.

im not gonna sit here and regale you on the message of the movie. they only said fax, no printer, and its an important message to send kids. alot of the messages kids get about races and borders is “we are all the same 😚” but they came in with the “we are NOT the same and that is both good and bad, both exciting and dangerous so you need to be aware of dangerous ideas of “harmony”” and thats so real. kids need to understand differences are OK.

i love how they backed off the “chosen one” vibe poppy had in the first movie and talked about her flaws as a leader. while her stubborness was a good thing in the first movie to contrast branches pessimistic nature, it wouldnt have worked here, and i can see a cheap writer (like m*chael w*ldron) either insisting she gets away with her selfishness and carrying on with the happy ending anyway, or pretending that wasnt a character trait at all (because w*ldron doesnt watch the first movie and writes a sequel anyway)

my favorite scene is the bubble scene and the woods right after they leave funk where branch confronts poppy. do i even need to tell you why?

i just want to mention it because im pretty sure branch sings a cover of “girl crush” by little big town, which is a country band, and branch said he likes country music earlier and that slays. but when poppy comes in, what they sing is definitley not girl crush, and i cant tell if its giving “trolls can mix music” or im completley wrong and its a different song alltogether. but i cant tell if that song is homophobic or is super gay, so if im wrong thats prob for the best.

the only flaw i can think of is the country music, as a midwestern i can confidently say that was an affront to real blue grass country music. i guess born to die “works” but it didnt represent country as well as the other genres did. theres alot of controversy in the country music fandom with alot of singers who sound exactly the same and produced like its a factory line. but even if people still think miranda lambert and carrie underwood arent true country singers, their songs wouldve worked better than born to die. also the country trolls shouldve been on a self sufficient farm instead of the wild west. that wild western jazzy piano and country music isnt the same.

the only bad part about the movie is that it ended and barb ATE. SHE LEFT NO CRUMBS WITH THAT INTRO. send ask.

Lol I love your review. I love Trolls World Tour a lot too and all their other movies. Great stuff.

And yeah I love Poppy and how she can accomplish A LOT but she doesn't make it on her own, she needs character development and help from others just like everyone else. Characters are surprisingly realistic.

Barb really was goat, the best antagonist in the franchise. I love parallels between her and Poppy, how both had different intentions (Poppy wanted to help and Barb wanted to conquer) but Poppy's method was also wrong and both Poppy and Barb and everyone had to make compromises for all tribes to live in harmony because no one has to change their lifestyle for that to happen, all they have to do is accept that they're different and that's perfect. Just be yourself and let others be themselves.

That song in the end (Just Sing) slaps hard (and so does Can't Stop The Feeling btw).

P.S. Tiny Diamond fucking slays 🔥🔥🔥

[knight-gwaine]

Tumblr gets all the new tea on my crush situation okay, I need to freak out SOMEWHERE

Okkkkaaaayyyyy, sooooooo we went on a cute lil walksieeeee today. Ehem, he invited me to his (parent's) house waaayy out in the mountains so we could go look for one of my favorite Alaskan birds, the dipper. It was beautiful and he seems like he comes from a very healthy, happy, WELL OFF family. Love that for hiiiimmm.

My intention this time was to be vulnerable and open upppppp, UGH so i orgaannniically tried lol to talk about my weekend and all these big life reflections I've been having with like coming into a new stage of my life of healthy love and safetyyyy in myself, in my home, around me etc. being careful not to trauma dump but like give some context of like. Heeyy, I grew up in unhealthy environments where it trained me to be some typa way that isn't healthy in this part of my life and I'm working to release!!!!!! Which was great to like. Let that off my chest?? And also give space for hiiimmm to open up. THEN WE SPENT. A SOLID LIKE FIVE HOURS (again hah) hanging out just chatting, doodling, and listening to vinyls together. Aaaah, yeah so

THE CONCLUSION IS Y'ALL. THIS IS A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME GUYS. IM SO PROUD OF ME. THIS ALL WAS SO HEALTHY. like I took it slow and was mindful and comfortable and like. I was brave and struggled yes to open up but didn't force myself and let it just like come to me.

And despite my rational brain knowing it went well, the emotional side is used to those previous unhealthy relationships where a "good" date leads to sex so that's something to adjust from. This discomfort, this feeling of oh maybe it wasnt a good date, comes from unfamiliarity. Unfamiliarity is good because it means this is healthy, not a repeating pattern, and I'm changing. It /was/ a good time, and healthy dudes can keep it in their pants lmao to actually build stable foundations with someooonnneee. This was sweet, we both like to linger and it's was like an awkward goodbye of like hmm I don't want you to go but I guess you should tehe.

Ahh, guys the longer this goes on the more wild it is. Exciting!!! Though, I'm just expecting it to pitter patter out at any time but like... wow what a concept. A healthy relationship that I asked for. Stable. Consistent. Slow growth. Like safe and predictable iiisshh.

[blkgirl-writing]

"Unforgettable" Sokka x Woc!reader smut

Summary: Sokka can't get a dirty image of you out of his mind.

Warnings: sexualization of the female body, because we are queens. Male masterbation, cursing.

A/n: First Sokka Smut!!! It's not quite a full smut, but it's getting there. I'm proud of this one. As in nearing the end of my binge of Atla, I keep falling deeper in live with this boy. I set up a part 2, but we shall see if it gets one. Please leave some feedback if you want another one!

Sokka couldn't get you out of his mind. The memory of your body seeping into every single thought of his. Pure intentioned or not, you ended up in the front of his brain.

Water dripped down your glowing skin, the light shining down on you like a beam of pure beauty. Water around you glimmering like gems.

You stood in the cool water just above your knees. Your fingers were tangled deep in your hair, finally taking the time to detangle the locks, hair brushing your skin as you hummed a tune he didnt know.

Sokka stood there, balancing himself on a tree, about two seconds away from biting off his bottom lip.

"Oh! Sokka. Hey." You greeted, shooting him a soft, kind smile. Thing is, you didn't bother to cover up, to sink into the water, or use your arms to cover as much as you could. No. You just looked at him, and it took all of his might to not just melt right there.

"I was just taking a bath. Did you wanna come in?" Sokka blinked, keeping his eyes on yours, not daring to look back down. You were both adults, he shouldn't feel like a schoolboy, looking at a pair of boobs for the first time. but he does. He's staring at the curve of your breasts, the valley between them, the dips of your hips. You're fully enchanting him.

"I uh...just...I should get back to the camp. I just got a bit lost. I'm sorry. Keep uh, doing your thing. No hurry. Take your time-" and just like that, he was off, leaving you alone in the pond.

Fuck. He was rock hard. Shit.

Fucking dumbass. You had invited him in with you, clearly. But you were also his friend, and he didn't think you saw him like...that. sure, you were the adults of the group, and had always had something, but sokka couldn't fully accept the idea of the two of you. At least, until he saw you naked.

Everything shifted. The rest of the day, he kept to himself. Fingers seeming to always fiddle with his boomerang, or sharpen his blade. He couldn't keep still for the life of him, and it wasnt like it went unnoticed. Toph told him to fuck off, Katara asked him if he was okay. He needed to blow off some steam. And some fighting practice just wasnt gonna do it.

Sokka was the last one to go to his tent, waiting until the moon was well into the sky, and everyone was sound asleep.

He settled himself in hid tent, propping himself up slightly with a pillow. He could see the outline of his erection through his pants, practically begging for attention. It had almost gotten painful. Sokka eagerly pushed down the fabric to his thighs. His dick already leaking precum down the swollen tip.

His hand trailed down his stomach, slowly wrapping his fingers around his cock, gently taking himself in his hand, pumping himself just enough to release some of the pressure of the day.

Sokka didn't try to suppress the desire anymore, letting his imagination go wild, dreams that he never admitted to.

He imagined your fingers working at his dick rather than his own hand, your lips wrapped around the top, staring at him as you worked your way to deepthroating him. Cheeks hollowd around his cock, his hands weaving through your hair, grasping for his dear life.

Your body, burned into his mind. The fight practices you had together, when sweat dripped down your skin, hair messy and coming out of your braids. How your lips parted as you heaved in breaths. The way you licked your lips, bit them when concentrating.

"Y/n! Fuck, yes!" His voice came out far, far louder than intended. His free hand went to cover his mouth, but he didn't stop pumping. He was so, so close, he couldn't stop now. He would hear if someone came near. The vision of you in his mind started to blur, eyes nearly rolling back into his head from the pleasure.

"Hey, sokka-Oh"

you stood still at the opening of the tent, eyes wide, completely unable to look away from the scene in front of you. It had just...happened so fast. One second you hear a strangled moan and sokka shouting your name, the next you see him with his cock in his hand, cum dripping down his fingers, some splattered on his stomach. No, it was far too good to keep your eyes off of. His face was a but flushed, a thin veil of sweat on his skin. Splayed out like a god in a sculpture.

"I uh-" Sokka stuttered, looking around for something, anything, to cover his crotch with.

"I thought I heard my name and-" you blinked, lips parted, heavy, deep breathes being the only thing from keeping you from passing out. The air was thick, warm, sweaty, it smelled overwhelmingly of sex.

"Look, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything-you just keep, uh, having fun." It was a sorry excuse to leave, but you did. Quickly stepping back and turning around. Letting out a deep, long, haggled breath.

"Wait! One second, fuck-" Sokkas voice came through the canvas, sounds of him stumbling around clear in the otherwise calm, quiet night.

"I didn't mean to say your name, I swear, it just slipped out and it sounded quieter than I thought-"

"It's okay, really, I don't mind at all." It came out much, much more...needy, than you'd wanted. This wasn't exactly how you'd imagined telling sokka that you found him attractive (usually, they ended with some sort of rejection, even in dreams.) You were just...a bit stunned. Trying to convince yourself that it really was a mistake, acting like this had been the first time he had said it. But, the few times you had to share a bed, or slept in close quarters, you heard the same thing, and that wasn't something you could just brush away.

"Oh." Sokka sighed, like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. But, only one of many. His shoulders were still tense, jaw still clenched.

"Sokka, I really don't want you to feel bad for what you were doing." You reached for his hand, just brushing your own with his, making sure he knew you were there, and it was okay, more than okay.

"I'm a fucking perv, that's what I am." He muttered, eyes glued to the floor. You could almost hear his brain overheating.

"No! No, it's natural to get yourself off-"

"Fucking hell," sokka really, truly wanted to die. Right there and then. Life no longer worth living, at least not after this.

"It's not as bad as you think, sokka." Your voice was soft, trying to be as comforting as possible, for you and sokka. You were so glad sokka wasn't able to look at you, cause your pure lust and neediness was crystal clear on your face.

"How?" He wanted nothing more than to apologize and curl up into a ball.

"Because I liked hearing you say my name like that." He never understood how you could say the most intense things with such ease. The weight of the words crystal clear, yet almost hummed.

"Say that again," It was dumb, but, he wanted to hear you say it again. He needed you to.

"Because I thought you saying my name like that was a dream come true." You smiled, gaze settling to the stars above, just for a bit of release. To make confessing a bit easier. "I loved it when you moaned my name."

"Wh..."

"Sokka, use your words."

"I was using words!" Sokka shot back.

"Were you thinking of me when you were masterbating?" You almost choked on the words, feeling yourself cringe at how it came out. Almost desperate. Needing him to say yes. Pleading that the dream last a bit longer.

"Yeah," Sokka breathed in deep, exhaling a somewhat shakey breath. "you're just so hot and sexy and seeing you today made me crazy. I mean, youre just so out of my league, and I couldn't get you out of my head. You drive me crazy, y/n, everything about you. Your body, your voice...sorry, was that too far?"

"Sokka, I've wanted to fuck you since the day I met you." You laughed, resisting the string urge to roll your eyes at his pure ignorance. "We both know we've been dancing around our tension. I cant count the amount of times I went to bed all hot and bothered and dreamed about you."

"So...you find me fuckable, and you've had wet dreams about me?"

"Gods have mercy, Sokka, you're the most handsome man I've ever met, and you know it."

"Of course I do." His hands settled on his hips, a small, cocky grin on his lips. His brain was going again, but this time, on the autopilot you loved. When he was at his most confident.

"You're so fucking beautiful." Sokka turned to you, testing out the waters a bit, he placed his hand on your lower back, pulling you slightly closer to him.

"Sokka, if you don't kiss me right now-"

"Then what? What will you do?"

"I dunno... fuck you or something."

"Now I'm thinking otherwi-" you cut him off with your lips, pressing lightly on his soft ones, grasping at the back of his hair, anything to get him closer to you. His hand wandered down, grasping at your skin, pulling your hips towards his desperately.

"Wanna go into my tent?"

"I would be crazy if I said no."

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Ubbe x reader Protecting you

Pairing: Ubbe x reader

Summary: Reader is a slave who has a hard time behaving. An incident at dinner has her scared and running away from Ivar. Ubbe decides to help her.

Warnings: Mentions of slavery, abuse, death, freezing, mild cursing.

**********************************************

Hey guys! I couldn't sleep so I wrote this instead lol, hope you like it😚

"You should watch what you say y/n, especially in front of Ivar, he can be very cruel" Calise warned as you rolled your eyes for the millionth time.

"How many times do I have to say it Calise?! Just because some foreign bastards stole me from my home and made me a slave doesn't mean I can just accept it. I'm a human being, not property. If one of those bastard brothers tries to hurt me they will be the ones who are sorry" you huffed setting down a large bucket of dish water.

Calise tsked nodding her head, "You won't last long with that attitude... believe me you weren't the first slave to think she wouldn't bend, but these men can be savages and they will not hesitate to beat you into submission.." she sighed when you didnt reply and continued washing silently.

In your mind you were seething. You understood that you couldn't just go around picking fights but you weren't going to be treated like dirt either. Ugh why were the gods punishing you like this?

You decided to try your best at keeping a low profile until a chance of escaping arose. After all if no one noticed you it wouldn't be that difficult to sneak away one night.

Alright brain, are you listening? No more smart mouthed comments. No more under the breath insults. And for the love of gods, no more dirty glares! Let's try to stay alive long enough to escape shall we?

**********************************************

That night you stood behind the chairs of the royal family as they ate and conversed happily. A rare occasion honestly, it was not often that all the brothers got along this well.

Ubbe was more sensible and to be honest you did not mind him much. Hviserk was for the most part ok, his comments about women sometimes made you clench your teeth. Sigurd wasnt that interesting to be honest, and then there was the devilish one known as Ivar, that one you had to be wary of, you had seen him almost choke to death a servant for spilling soup over him.

Your eyes roamed around the hall. Gods standing around was so boring... the first thing you were gonna do when you escaped was relax in a hot bath and feast on the fattiest foods. None of that leftover meat slop you slaves were fed.

Sometimes when you guys were cleaning up you would sneak some food in your mouth quickly. Calise scolded you everytime but hey, the gods taught not to be wasteful. In your eyes you were doing a good thing.

"Are you deaf slave?" A sudden sharp voice cut into your thoughts.

Shit...

"Sorry, how may I serve you prince Ivar.." you quickly stepped forward.

"My cup is empty" he motioned holding it up mockingly.

This asshole is lucky I don't have my knife anymore...

You quickly filled his cup with ale, a simple task really. No one could've imagined what would happen next.

When you felt a wandering hand over your ass you acted on instinct. No you didnt even stop to think that slapping the craziest man in kattegat was a bad idea.

You stood there eyes wider than saucers. Frozen like a deer as you watched Ivars stunned face turn from the side slowly, a red welt already appearing on his pale skin. Fuck.

You took one giant step back suddenly afraid that he would stab you with a dinner knife right then and there.

"M-my prince, I'm so sorry I did-" you were abruptly cut off when he shot out of his chair, a wild look of murder in his eyes.

Fuck you were done for. Great job you managed to keep yourself in check for like what 7 minutes?!

"Ivar stop!" Aslaug tried to calm him down but he was already out of his chair and limping towards you dangerously. Afraid of him and what he could do you whipped around and darted past a shocked Calise out into the brisk winters air.

You could hear shouting behind you but you were too frightened to stop. Although you probably made it ten times worse by running away. Should you have just stayed and taken the beating?

Surely the brothers or the queen would've intervened before things got too out of hand. You shook your head. Well none of that mattered now, you had to hide before he found you. Gods for a cripple, he sure was fast.

You cursed as another ruthless wind made you shiver. Only a thin dress protected you from the harsh weather. Great instead of being beaten to death you were gonna freeze to death.

Maybe it was better that way.. even if you left kattegat, it's not like you had anywhere else to go. And being captured by bandits on the road didnt seem appealing either. For all your past bravery you were feeling pretty terrified right now.

You hid behind a house taking a deep breath. Ok so you couldn't ask anyone for help for surely they would turn you in. After all no one would risk protecting you for Ivars wrath.

A barn near the house caught your eye, and you immediately snuck through the crack in the door and pulled it shut.

There were some piles of hay, a table for crafting tools of some sort, and above it all was a semi sealed attic.

Seeing no ladder you quickly piled some hay until it was tall enough to climb on. You also pulled as much as you could up with you to cover yourself.

By this point your hands were starting to burn. But you feared going back more than freezing. So you scooched back as far as you could, almost hidden completely and pulled the hay onto your shaking body. It wasn't the furs you slept with but it would have to do.

Wrapping your arms tight you prayed to the gods that you would somehow survive this or at least die a quick death.

At some point the cold turned into burning and then you felt nothing. You couldn't even feel your eyelids as they drooped shut.

**********************************************

"Ivar calm down, she's new she doesn't know how to be a proper slave yet" Ubbe stood blocking the door. The only thing standing between him and your certain death.

"I agree, she doesn't know, so she must be taught a lesson" Ivar growled and tried to push past his brother once more.

Aslaug gently placed a hand on his back, "Ivar please, she is just a slave, she is not worth it"

Ubbe could tell he was starting to calm down, especially when his mother spoke he always listened.

"Ivar you're right, she does need to learn but please, let me go and deal with her" Ubbe pleaded.

Ivar glared at his brother a few moments before sighing and shoving his arm off.

"Fine, just promise me you wont be too easy on her brother" he grumbled making his way back to the chair.

Ubbe sighed in relief and made his way outside. He started to worry because it was heavily snowing and from what he saw you were only dressed in a thin dress.

He actually had no intention of "dealing with you" as Ivar had demanded. In all honesty he thought you reacted as any insulted girl would. It just so happened because you were a slave it wasnt permitted.

Later on after he found you he would probably have a good laugh about this with his brothers. After all it wasnt everyday someone stood up to Ivar the boneless.

**********************************************

Ubbe had been searching far into the night now, no one he asked had any clue where the girl was and he was starting to lose hope.

Part of him wanted to give up and warm up by the fire in his house but part of him knew you would die if he did. He was far too kind to let that happen. So with a sigh he rubbed his hands together trying to generate some heat before he set off again.

**********************************************

Ubbe lightly shook your numb body as he tried his best to bring you to conciousness.

"Wake up, c'mon woman this is not a good place to die" he lightly slapped your cheek.

He clicked his tongue when you didnt even flinch.

He pulled off his outer fur and gently wrapped you in it. Carefully he lifted a hand behind your back and under your knees. Adjusting you until you lay safely in his arms.

He decided to take care of you himself seeing as it was the middle of the night and his house was much closer than the hall. Plus it wasnt a good idea to be around Ivar right now.

He kicked open the door and gently layed you down by the firepit. He got to work lighting it and gathered all the warmest furs he could find.

Once he had you wrapped up in several layers he grabbed a pillow and made himself comfortable beside you. For a moment he just stared at your face, wondering what your name was, where you came from, what you were thinking when you slapped Ivar. The last one made him smile. You were an interesting one indeed.

********************************************

Death felt cozy...? It was warm and comforting, like the first day of spring after a long winter.

You felt softness everywhere, like a bunch of tiny kittens were cuddling into you. If this was death, this must of been heaven. The smell of wood was soothing, reminding you of your home and the sounds were peaceful. The crackling, singing of birds, snoring....wait a minute...snoring???

Your eyes flew open as the realization that were in fact very much alive sunk in. You could see a wooden ceiling and tried to sit up but someone had piled what had to have been 1000 furs on you, making you feel like a swaddled baby. A very hot and sweaty baby. You tried to lift them off but your arms felt like jelly.

Ubbe heard the commotion and was awake in an instant.

He almost laughed as he watched you wiggle around like a trapped worm.

"Easy now, you're still recovering" Ubbes unmistakable voice echoed through the room.

You twisted around until your eyes landed on his amused ones.

"Prince Ubbe?" Ok now you were officially confused.

"Here" he scooted closer and started removing a few of the layers. When you moved to sit up he placed a hand on your back supporting you. You nodded a thank you and cleared your throat. It felt dry like you hadn't drank water in days.

As if he read your mind the prince reached over to a table where he poured water from a pitcher into a small cup then handed it to you.

After gulping the whole thing down you suddenly felt very awkward as he was just staring at you.

" Um Prince Ubbe?" You looked up.

"Yes?"

"What am I doing here.." he let out a tiny laugh which only confused you more.

"You mean you don't remember?" He asked smirking.

"Remember? I don't know what you are talk-.......Oh my god I slapped Ivar!!" you shrieked in disbelief as the memories started to piece back together again.

You suddenly felt very unsafe and began scrambling to get up. What if he was waiting for you to get up just so he could torture you.

As soon as you stood up you felt a wave of dizziness pass and found yourself pitching to the side.

"Woah slow down" Ubbe effortlessly caught you and guided you back onto the ground. "You need to rest, your body has been through a lot." Ubbe said with his hands still supporting you.

You were about to protest when he held a finger to your lips, "Shh listen to me, my brother is not going to hurt you I give you my word." He promised pulling away slightly but still staying close.

You visibly relaxed at his words. Out of all the brothers Ubbe did seem the most trustworthy and kind.

"Although he did say that I should teach you a lesson" he meant it as a joke but you tended up immediately, ready to run again. He quickly noticed and shook his head smiling, "Don't worry, I think you almost freezing to death was punishment enough...how do you feel by the way?" He asked with genuine concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine I think...but I still don't understand how I came to be here with you.." all you remembered was crawling into that barn and feeling so tired.

"After you ran out we calmed down my brother and I convinced him to let me handle you. I searched for you a long time before I got lucky and happened to spot you curled up in the corner. You were nearly dead, I didn't waste time and brought you here to my home. I have to say I am quite surprised you are up already considering how unresponsive you were last night."

As he finished speaking you felt suddenly very vulnerable. All your life you had been on your own. You took care of yourself because that was all you knew. And in one night he had cared for you more than your own parents did your childhood. Suddenly you felt bad for every bad thought of him that ever ran through your mind.

"Thank you...you saved my life and somehow saved me from Ivars wrath as well. You must be a magic prince or something, definitely my new favorite" you let out a tired laugh.

His eyes lit up in amusement. You certainly were an interesting one indeed.

"As long as you don't make a habit of slapping princes I promise nothing will happen to you"

You wanted to believe that but you were a slave, anyone on the street could beat you and no one would bat an eye.

"You can't promise that....I mean no offense but I'm a slave, anyone has the right to punish me with the littlest excuse and no one would care.." you were getting angry at the thought of how many slaves you saw get brutally punished for simple mistakes.

Ubbe was quiet for a moment then shrugged his shoulders, "Then I guess I have no choice"

You tilted your head at his non chalant attitude.

"What do you mean?" You questioned.

"I'll just have to make you mine" he said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Make me his? What is he talking about??

"If I convince my mother to give me you as a personal slave I would be able to watch over you. Down the road I would be able to free you and you could still serve and work for me if you wish."

You sat wide eyed at his words, was he being serious right now??

"You want me to be your slave...? And then you would free me..?"

He nodded his head confirming it.

"I've been in need of someone around the house anyway however I'm not looking for someone to force. If you agree, you would work and I would pay you. But you would be free to do as you please. What do you say"

You were stunned, this man had not only saved your life, he protected you, nursed you and now he was giving you your freedom!?

Again your instincts took over and before you knew what you were doing you launched yourself onto his body gripping him in the tightest hug possible.

"I say yes! Thank you my prince!!" You squeezed him still in disbelief.

He was not expecting that and let out a surprised laugh. When you realized what you had just done you shuffled back embarrassed.

"Ubbe, call me Ubbe from now on" he smiled before opening his mouth again, "Now I think I should know the name of the woman I'm going to be spending alot of time with yeah?"

You looked into his eyes and for the first time you felt so hopeful for the future, "Y/n..my name is Y/n".

He smirked and for the first time in your life you felt those tiny fluttering butterflies that all the girls had talked about.

Oh dear so this was what having a crush on someone felt like..

**********************************************

Thank you for reading! Please lemme know what you thought in the comments 💕

[hovercraft79]

Winter Song

Ch 32 It’s a Beautiful Day

Chapters: 32/31 Word Count: 1,336 Fandom: The Worst Witch (TV 2017) Rating: Teen Warnings: None Summary: It’s New Year’s Eve Day and Pippa can’t wait to start her day – and her year – with Hiccup. She just hopes Hecate feels the same way.

Notes: I still have about 4 more prompts to do. They’re coming just as fast as I can. 

U2’s song, of course. It’s seems a perfect start for a new year.

 Happy New Year’s All – especially to @cassiopeiasara for putting this thing together. Thank you so much for this opportunity!

Sparky’s back!!! But she slept in and so this is wild and free from her discipline.

This is actually part 2 of the NYE prompt. The two parts will be properly joined together when it gets moved to AO3.

Pippa eased her bedroom door open, slowly tilting her head around and sneaking a peek at Hecate. For a heart-jarring moment, she thought that Hecate had gone. Ignoring the twinge in her ankle, Pippa lurched towards the enlarged sofa, stopping short when she heard a soft snort. Pippa edged closer, the corner of her mouth lifting as she took in the sight before her.

Despite what most people thought, Hecate was not an ‘early to bed, early to rise’ sort of witch. No. Sleep had always been difficult for Hecate, whether it was due to anxiety, nightmares, or her own restless magic constantly humming beneath her skin. But when sleep did come for Hecate, it came hard.

Left to her own devices, Pippa knew that Hecate would be entirely nocturnal. Even as a girl, Hecate had been a creature of the moon and stars far more than she had ever been a creature of the sun.

She also, though Pippa knew she would deny it, took any opportunity for a lie-in very seriously. Hecate was serious about a great many things but sleep most of all. This morning, Hecate had burrowed so far into Pippa’s sofa that she had all but disappeared. Only a tiny tip of Hecate’s braid peeped out from under the pillow. 

Pippa grinned as warmth flooded her chest. This, at least, was old, familiar territory. She loosed a thin stream of magic into the fireplace, setting it to crackling once again, and tiptoed into her kitchen. Compact but functional, Pippa’s kitchen had everything she needed to prepare even elaborate meals. It more than sufficed for what she needed this morning.

Humming softly, Pippa set to work, readying the tea set for later, but first brewing up a strong pot of coffee. She’d shopped earlier, as soon as Hecate had agreed to come for New Year’s, and she was well-stocked on pastries, fruits and compotes, as well as fresh yoghurt. With a flick of her hand, Pippa heated the oven. A second flick summoned a baking sheet and a ham and cheese quiche. Once, that was heating, Pippa arranged everything else on a tray and crept back into the living room, setting the tray on her coffee table as quietly as possible.

A moment later and Pippa was on her knees at the end of her sofa, holding a steaming cup of coffee near where she guessed Hecate’s head would be. “Hiccup? I’ve brought coffee. And breakfast.” Gingerly, Pippa touched what she hoped was Hecate’s back and started rubbing gently. “It’s a beautiful day, Hiccup. I know you don’t want to miss any of it.” She stilled her hand when she felt Hecate take a deep breath, but she didn’t take it away. “That’s it, darling. Coffee’s waiting.” She waved the mug a bit so the aroma would waft around more before setting it on the coffee table with the rest of breakfast. “Come on, Hiccup, let me see those beautiful brown eyes of yours.” The blankets stirred, albeit slightly. “Good girl.” She started rubbing Hecate’s back again, using a little more pressure. The fact that she could have been doing this for the last thirty years gnawed at a dark corner of her brain, but she refused to give it any purchase. Instead, she focused on the possibility of doing this for the next thirty years.

The timer dinged from the kitchen. “I’ll be right back, darling.” Pippa rushed to pull the quiche from the oven. When she returned a few minutes later, a very disheveled Hecate was sitting up, blinking slowly as she looked around the room. “There’s my girl,” Pippa said, warmly. She set the quiche on the tray and handed Hecate the coffee. “I wasn’t sure how you take it, I only know how you like your tea.”

“Black.” Hecate reached for the mug, holding it against her chest and breathing in the aroma. “Caffeine. Pure.”

Pippa giggled and brushed a strand of hair from Hecate’s forehead. She knew Hecate was still more asleep than awake when she didn’t stiffen in the slightest. “Well, then I made it just right, didn’t I?” She pulled the pale pink woven blanket off the end of the sofa and tucked it around Hecate. “There. We don’t want you getting a chill, do we?” She watched Hecate as she finally took a sip of her coffee.

“Did you do all of this?” Hecate nodded at the breakfast tray. “You didn’t need to go to all of this trouble.” She set her mug down on the coffee table. “I really should be getting back to Cackle’s. I’ve taken up enou—”

“Stop. Please, don’t do that, Hiccup.” Pippa fussed with the blanket. “Yes. I did all of this. For you. For us. I have the privilege of spending the first day of the new year with my very favorite person.” She watched the worry in Hecate’s eyes shift slowly into disbelief then amazement. Finally, she saw the barest dip of Hecate’s chin. “Now, stop trying to cut it short and hand me a plate before the quiche gets cold.”

“We’re witches, Pipsqueak. We can heat it up again.” She ran her eyes up and down the pink flannel pajamas. Tiny donuts were printed all over. “Nice pajamas.”

“That we can, Hiccup. And thank you. Your purple ones are nice, too.” Crisis of faith averted, Pippa sliced into the quiche, serving it up with a lemon poppyseed muffin and a dollop of yoghurt. “Here you go. Nothing too sweet.” They ate in companionable silence for a while, listening to the crackling fire. “Do you have anything special you do on New Year’s Day, Hiccup?” Pippa asked at last. She realized again how much of one another’s lives they’d missed. Was she keeping Hecate from something important to her? “I guess I should have asked that before I bullied you into staying.”

The fork paused halfway to Hecate’s mouth then slowly lowered back to the plate. “I usually spend the day reading or organizing my cupboards. I might have tea with Ada if she hasn’t any other plans.” She took a steadying breath before continuing. “I could hardly call it bullying if the thing you want me to do is something I want to do as well.” Hecate smiled and looked down quickly, studying her slice of quiche intently before taking another bite.

Pippa was smiling too hard to eat. Or drink her coffee. Or do much of anything except enjoy the fact that Hecate wanted to be here. With her. Finally, she shook herself out of her happy haze. “I wonder then, Hiccup, if you’d care to take part in one of my favorite New Year’s Day traditions?”

“Certainly… Is it a chant or a ritual?”

“Oh, no, Hiccup… nothing like that.” She cocked her head to the side, thinking about it. “Well… maybe it is a bit of a ritual.” She held her hand out and summoned the remote control for her television. “Have you ever seen the Rose Parade? It’s in California, in America.”

“I know where California is, Pip. And no, why would I have seen an Ordinary parade?”

“The Ordinaries may do it, Hiccup, but it’s far from ordinary. Every float must be completely covered in plant material. You’ll love it.” Pippa held up the remote, enticingly. “What do you say?”

Hecate shook her head indulgently. “Very well, Pipsqueak. Let’s see if these Ordinaries even know the proper names for the plants.”

Pippa clicked through the menu, watching Hecate out of the corner of her eye as she followed her every move. Did Hecate even have a television? “Here we go.” She tossed the remote down on the sofa and leaned back, summoning her tea again.

Before Pippa could settle in, Hecate cleared her throat and lifted the edge of her blanket. “We’d wouldn’t want you to get a chill, either, would we?”

“We certainly wouldn’t,” she said, scooting towards Hecate and under the blanket. “We wouldn’t want that at all.”

[mommydragon-of-all]

To the mage village!

The sun was hanging low behind him as Soren crossed the perimeter of the village. It was a usual looking, quiet and peaceful place, if someone gave a brief glance to it. But keener eyes might have caught the unusual amount of new buildings, or the surrounding fields bursting with the finest goods. The Free Marches were rightfully called the bread basket of Thedas, with all those large wheat fields, but this village was exceptionally well doing with its various and healthy plants. In a zone that was medicore at best. It's rocky and shallow grounds stretched high up into dense forests, then further, until only a few trees could grow strong enough roots between the rocks to withhold the high winds, until only the clouds hugged the bare mountaintops.

But there was no need for anyone to strain their eyes or brains too much if they passed by this village nested in the valley by the stream, to notice it's true uniqueness. Especially if they arrived at a late hour like Soren. But unlike Soren, they might have been surprised, baffled or freaked out by the colorful lights and fires that slowly, steadily blinked into life along the streets as the highest hill hid the Sun behind its back.

Soren however, was utterly and completely mesmerized. A huge grin lit up his face and heart just as the village below started to lit up in fairy lights. He knew where he was headed, what he searched for up along the river, what he tracked, but seeing it right before his own eyes was incomparable.

A bunch of familiar names were burning one packet on his side, urging him even faster for what he knew to find, from gathered information, from rumors and deduction, from facts and hopes, and from a little bit of magical assistance. He was to find a whole nest of magic, energies flowing and humming freely, taking shapes and substances, vibrating in the air and tinting it with the irresistible taste of ozone... or was it scent? Soren could taste it on the tip of his tongue, and he abruptly urged the enormous hart he was riding on. He wanted more, see more, feel more, and he wanted it now. He wanted to laugh among those wonderful people who for the first time experienced laughing truly free, and he wanted to gulp down lungfuls of tingling air, he wanted to get drunk on it and good spiced wine tonight and he wanted to dance the rounds of freedom. One might enjoy freedom, but only can truly feel its strength among those who were freed. 

The huge proud animal below Soren did not take the nudging kindly, and as if to ensure his rider didnt take him for a meek lamb either, he kicked himself high and dropped down hard, launching into a mad rush downhill. ...Soren couldnt have asked for a better mount - below dragon level. Loud, merry laughter erupted from Sorens chest. It was bouncing behind them all the way down, along their trail thorn into the foliage wide and straight, going down in a breakneck angle. It didnt matter. Let the world see and behold, for he was going there, and going with intent. He threw caution to the wind a long way back, since he made sure there was no need for covering traces anymore. Now he arrived free to a free place, dragging no harmful tail. Heck, he even weeded the root and rolled up the pathway into his pocket, so to speak.

That 'no harmful tail' thought however needed a little correction, as Soren entered the village staying true to that wide trail, the massive wild animal not bothering to jump the hay fence, but storming right through it like a natural battering ram.

Which brought Sorens joyful laughter up another level. For a whole bunch of seconds maybe, when from a corner of his eye he noticed a little, frightened child hiding behind his small stuffed animal at the side of the street. Soren grabbed the antlers of the hart and pulled them back. "Easy, big guy, there are people here.” The stubborn animal understood the no bullshit tone if not else, one that left no room for protest and promised consequences, and it stopped. ...It stopped immediately. Big hooves dug thick dark lines into the grassy ground, and the momentum dropped so suddenly that a lesser man would have flown across the fence on the other side of the road. But Soren wasnt a lesser men. A short playful laughter bubbled up his throat once again as he was bracing on the huge antlers as if they were the sides of a toy carriage. Ironed long boots touched down weightlessly next to the Hart, who towered over Sorens tall form like a piece of the mountain. Soren patted his mare in thanks, and let it on his merry way, back towards the hill.

A brave young man edged cautiously closer to Soren, freeing a rope from his waist, and offered -in a stuttering tone of disbelief, regarding his own actions perhaps- to take the travelers mount to the stables. To which Soren answered with a laugh and a heavy pat on thin shoulders: "Oh dont bother, just let it go.” -then added with a more collected manner- “Seriously, don’t approach him. He’s not domesticated." And with that he pointed his long boots towards the common center of all villages, the Tavern. 

------------------------------- 

(Well, maaaaybe he took a few... detours on the way there. This was, after all, a place full of mages and their stuff.)

----------------- 

.... 

The Tavern was especially lively later that evening, packed full with mages and some other villagers, mostly drawn in by the presence of the curious stranger, who was currently –or still- in the company of Maxwell Trevelyan. Eyes often flickered over where they were seated at the fireplace. Though “seated” was a very loose term in the stranger’s vocabulary as it seemed. There was barely any minute when he sat on that chair like it was meant for. His spectacular sense of balance and easy flexibility also pulled some gazes to his lean, muscular body, but that was not the main reason he drew such a crowd. This tall, strange, armed elf lit up the village with shocks, worries, surprises and laughter since the sun reached the hill, and the time of resting and gathering, the true evening just has started. This magic enthusiast surely had some more interesting surprises under his belt for the day. …oh, if they only knew…

"That sounds awesome! But…" -Soren lifted a finger up, putting emphasis on the brief break in the conversation, while he lifted a cup with his other hand and gulped down all of it’s remaining contents- "…first things first". He slammed the cup down with a definite thump, right when the bard played the last notes of his current song. Then he sprung up with one fluid motion, as if pulled on a string, propelled by the foot on the seat by his ass. He stomped the other fine ironed long boot hard on the table.  Soren cleared his throat pointedly and let his voice ring clear and loud across the Tavern. If there was an unnecessary flourish to it, it was all in the name of mocking a certain group that couldn’t hear it, and for the touch of grand dramatics and fun of course. (plus theres the influence of his Orlesian noble times too…XD THEY knew how to mock and rub it in) 

“Ladies and gentleman, and everybody else, may i have your attention please?” The room went instantly silent, some drinks knocked on tables as a few nervous hands were emptied in preparation to the worst, while others shifted to the edge of their seats in curiosity, and some just waited to see if this was worth their attention. “During my… travels” –Soren continued- “i encountered a group of shiny chantry dogs way back in Orlais, hurrying East. I am a very helpful guy, so I of course generously offered to lift some of the burden off of those iron packed shoulders, and spare them a long travel. They had reservations about it at first, but in the end I stroke a good deal with them, which led me here today.” 

During the brief pause it took for Soren to smirk on some entertaining flashbacks, the atmosphere of the room shifted into something so thickly charged that Soren could have sliced it with his deflect blade. But he ignited it instead with his next words, setting up an explosion of emotions and raw magic in the air. Oh how he loved explosions. 

“They let me carry their stuff from then on and I let them carry on living. Well, most of them. It was a generous deal… especially since the stuff I bargained for wasn’t even theirs. So without their special compass they had nowhere to go but backtracking their own trail, and I came to return that stuff to their ONLY rightful owners. That is why I am here now in your amazing village. So please come forward and take back what is yours and YOURS ALONE. You even have your names on them..." 

While finishing his little speech Soren reached into his biggest, iron banded pouch, the one he just wore to carry its special content here. He quickly found the big knot of the neatly tangled strings inside and pulled them out. The sound of small glasses clinging to each other filled the breathless silence in the room as Soren lifted the huge bunch of phylacteries up. They broke the light of the fireplace into crimson flickers, reflecting in wide eyes all around.

A side smirk sliced the heavy air and the stillness broke as Soren invitingly dangled the precious delivery.

The small vials quickly found their way into the trembling hands of their owners, evoking a large scale of reactions from tears to laughter, leaving only a few in Soren's hand. Judging by the sight of some excited people rushing out the door, the remaining mages would be in the Tavern soon too to collect theirs. There was only one particular phylactery tucked away in a different pocket, one Soren wanted to carry and hand over with special care, one that spurred Soren on to take the quickest routes over the more adventurous, one that wore the name of one Maxwell Trevelyan. It brought up a very fond memory of a great, fun day, and whispered promises of more excitement.

Then there was also the two broken ones, bundled up in small pieces of cloth, that Soren fished out from the bottom of the pouch. He offered them to the two crestfallen, worried mages still standing by the table, looking over the remaining vials repeatedly.

“Oh, sorry, these must be the ones you are looking for right? They broke during my… negotiation with their holders, but I collected most of their pieces, including the parts with the name tags. I also didn’t clean them so you can verify them if you want. Thought you might not rest easy until you saw them destroyed with your own eyes so... here. Im sorry but you just have to take my word for the fate of their contents, that I threw a firebomb on the place where they broke. Oh, and one on the clothes and belongings of the templars who carried them, for good measure. They themselves choose a good dip in the river over being cleansed with fire. ...how I wish i had seen them return to the White Spire…"

When the two mages hugged and thanked Soren with a strange mixture of relived tears and amusement then hurried away with barely held back eager fire in their hands, Soren settled back down with a pleased warm smile and enigmatic happy gleam in his eyes. This was a wonderful day. He took in the happy chaos all around him, the raw emotions, the energies dancing around, and it made his broad chest way too narrow to hold his full heart. Well, even more so than usual. This was everything... and that earthbound Bran laughed on him for working so hard for free. This was a reward higher than all the nobles could ever pay. His zone out was broken by a loud crack of the fire. He blinked, breaking his distant gaze and upon returning to earth he turned to Max, fishing out his phylactery with great care and holding it out to him. He was grinning ear to ear again.

“Wanna go out and do some spectacular ritual burning of this? By the way, is it too late to insist that I believe that such a thing has to involve naked dancing in the moonlight? THAT would be truly spectacular.” Soren joked, lifting a bit the weight of the moment, and doing so he silently offered an easy way to ask for an out if Maxwell wanted some privacy with it.

[viralhottopics]

After 5 Years Of Relying On Medication, I Can Finally Sleep

Its been a long time since Ive written anything. And while my intentions were to blog every fortnight, this post has been extremely tough to write. For once I found it quite difficult to articulate my feelings and experiences, because of the personal nature of what I’m about to tell you.

A few weeks ago, I found myself chatting to one of my new friends, who is also an amazing business coach and mentor. He asked me how things were going aside from business, how are you feeling, just in general?. I thought about it and said, did you know, this is the first time in five years that Ive been able to sleep without taking a pill?

Insomnia has been affecting my ability to sleep properly since late 2010. It was kicked off by a freak hockey ball to the head incident, which then transpired into mental health problems (thanks, brain). Around 1 in 3 people have or have had some degree of insomnia in their lives. For an unlucky few (like me) insomnia is/was chronic. If youre one of them and are reading this, know that its okay, there IS a way out.

Back in 2010 I got a wild smack to the forehead from a fast flying hockey ball, I was briefly knocked out and I opened my eyes not even realizing what had happened, but bizarrely, I was laughing! It wasnt until I felt the huge lump on my head that it suddenly hit me (hah, pun intended). Soon after this, I had developed intense trouble sleeping and experienced extreme headaches and photophobia.

In my traditional headstrong fashion I refused to go to the doctor, that was a bad decision. Months later things seemed to be getting worse in my head space. After seeing a bunch of specialists and getting an MRI and all that, it was concluded that I had Post Concussion Syndrome (a minor form of traumatic brain injury).

Because of this, my health took a drastic downward spiral. I was lethargic, had constant headaches, was depressed, irritated, and slightly delusional. The doctors prescribed me dozens of painkillers to cope. I was studying a BMA at the time, and working so I could afford to live out of home and life spun out of my control. The brain does crazy things when it experiences trauma, and for a long long time I was not myself.

I was enrolled in a national head injury study. They interviewed me about the events and my experiences, then they interviewed some of my friends and family. Every six months my reaction time and short-term memory were tested, as well as my mood and general quality of life. It took almost two years for me to get back to normal. I dont know why it was such a long time, perhaps some people are more susceptible to these kinds of things. A lot of people in my family battle with mental illnesses. But even when I was feeling better, I still had to rely on medication to sleep.

Luckily for me, my doctors had refused to give me traditional sleeping pills such as Zopiclone, because of their addictive qualities. That was fine by me, I never intended to be stuck taking pills before bed. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldnt survive without them. At first it was Amitriptyline, a drug in high doses used to treat depression, but I was on it for headaches and as a muscle relaxant.

Sometime after I finished my degree in late 2012, I changed doctors due to not having access to the medical center on campus. My new doctor tried to wean me off taking the medication, I was all in. But it just didnt work. I went back to him after slowly reducing my intake at his guidance and tried a few months without anything. In mid-2013 I had more responsibility with my job which added some stress, and without any pills before bed I was getting between 1 and 5 hours sleep a night. I got sick a lot, gained a lot of weight, my mood was unstable, and I was quickly becoming very unhappy.

So I went back to my doctor, I was attempting to tell him that I still havent been able to sleep but I sat there crying in his office because I was just so exhausted and frustrated. I just wanted sleep. He recommended putting me through a sleep study and to see a sleep therapist, but this wasnt subsidized and I wasnt financially able to pay for such expensive tests (startup wages, am I right?). So, I opted for the easier just for now option. We tried something new, Quetiapine, an antipsychotic drug which in high doses is used to treat people who are bipolar or schizophrenic. I didnt get a large dose, only small enough to help me sleep. But even then I woke up every morning with a drug hangover and it took me hours every day before I could feel completely awake.

I lived like this for a long time, always having to take a pill before bed. Sometimes that didnt even work. I vividly remember how I felt after a huge hike over NZs Tongariro Crossing and then the 2-hour drive home. I was so tired, so exhausted after that I could hardly eat. I was thinking surely, surely I am this tired I must be able to sleep. But then as soon as my head hit the pillow my mind became awake, overactive and as much as I tried, I couldnt settle it down. A few hours later I begrudgingly got up and gulped down that damn pill, desperate for the relief of sleep.

This is when I started researching sleeping techniques. Over the past year and a half I have tried everything; yoga, meditation, walks in the evening, less coffee, less sugar, evening protein, writing down to-do lists and thoughts in a journal beside my bed, sleep tea, calm tea, chamomile tea, peppermint tea, Chinese herbs, sleep drops, lavender under my pillow, hops under my pillow, sleep apps with meditation, hypnosis, screen dimmers, installing Flux on my computer, melatonin, no screens (mobile, TV, Computer) two hours before bed, non-fictional reading before bed, homeopathy just everything.

Sometimes it would help, Id feel sleepy, try to drift off, then all of a sudden my mind would wake, even though Id be so so physically tired. I didnt know it was possible to feel so exhausted and awake at the same time. So I would carry on using my little pills to sleep and feeling hungover in the morning. I hated it, I never truly felt awake in all that time. And if I ever went somewhere and forgot my pills Id always get restless nights with little or no sleep.

A lot of time went past, living like this. After deciding to leave Hamilton to travel, I ended up in Perth, Australia. By the time I got here my little box of magic sleeping pills from New Zealand had run out. I attempted fate once more and tried to cold turkey my way to sleep. It really wasnt working out for me. The smallest noise, a single thought, any slight disturbance would set me off and my mind would begin racing once more. No matter what I did, I just couldnt sleep. There is nothing worse or more hopeless than the feeling of wanting and needing sleep so badly but you just cant get there and you realize your own mind is the only barrier to falling asleep. I remember thinking, how hopeless am I that I cant even perform the simple human function of sleeping?.

The one good thing that came out of these few weeks was my deep inner search for a reason. I didnt feel like my head injury was the cause of not being able to sleep, it just seemed like some sort of instigator. Im not going to share the details, but what I realized was that I had become afraid of sleep, and everything else was just an excuse.

I ended up seeing a wonderful doctor here who prescribed me some medication to sleep again and referred me to a counselor who specialized in sleep therapy. I gladly took the medication and debated whether I was ready for a counselor. I wanted to overcome my insomnia on my own (I had only just started acknowledging that this is really what I had), but sometimes you cant do everything on your own, sometimes you need to accept that you need a bit of a helping hand. And this is what I did.

The first session with my counselor was amazing. She knew what had happened without me having to say much, she said it and I sat there and cried. I cried as years of pent up emotion and holding back just escaped from me and it was so relieving. Her theory was I had developed an unconscious fear of sleeping because I lose control over myself and have to give in to the environment around me. I didnt feel . Of course, I knew logically that I was safe, but there was a deep fear within me that I had never let go of, a blocked memory; trauma. It had nothing to do with my head injury, that was a catalyst, as well as some other events that happened between then and now.

And so started my road to recovery. I went to the counselor once a fortnight. We didnt just talk about sleeping, we talked about a lot and it was really nice. I finally found an app that helped ease me into the sleeping mind-frame, Pzizz. Every morning within half an hour of waking up I get at least an hour of exercise outside. If not, I try to sit in the sun for 20 minutes or be active in some other way. I dont drink coffee after 3pm and limit myself to two a day (on bad days). I dont have much processed sugar, I write to-do lists every day in my diary so I dont lie in bed and think about everything I have to remember to do tomorrow. My bedroom has become an area for sleep every time I watch something on my laptop in bed it affects the amount and quality of sleep I get, so Ive stopped doing that.

Routines are also very important I do the same thing before bed every night. I also try to stick to the same hours, but Im still learning to sleep so I havent been using an alarm, just trying to slowly get back into the right rhythm. Right now I usually fall asleep between 12am, wake up at about 6, then go back to sleep until 9 or 10. Its not the pattern I love, and I still have many days where some nights are better than others, but Im getting there, Im improving and Im not giving up.

My mood has become better, my skin clearer, Im no longer getting sick every few weeks and my focus levels are at an all-time high. I still have a lot of work to do, but for the first time in over four years I can sleep without medication, and it feels so damn good.

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