#this was way out of my comfort zone but I learned a lot ☺️ I neeeever usually paint stuff 😲

[bobosbillionsknives]

Painting practice 💖✨

[pianistbynight]

days 1-7 of a slow but meaningful summer

this is really the only part of traumerei that i can play sort of fluently...sort of, because you can still hear some hesitation as i try to remember the right notes 😅

thursday | 08/08/24

Started Leviathan Wakes

Tested out of U1 in Japanese and started U2 (loving its similarities to French cuz more familiarity = faster learning curve hopefully?🤞🏻)

Practiced piano...some old scales to warm up + the Clementi sonatina (coming back to it after a 2-3 day break was a good idea! somehow my steadiness has improved! also coming to appreciate metronome practice. sight-reading for the day = a few new bars on the 2nd page) + playing around with Kinderszenen (at this point I just wanted to hear different sounds and it wasn't very productive practice)

Read more of the HSP book

Most likely will have to revise my goals bc I don't think I can make decent progress in all the songs I wanted to in 4 weeks...like, to bring 1 L7 song to performance level after years of not performing anything + without a teacher will probably take longer than it used to. Not sure exactly what that looks like yet other than that it's definitely not gonna be all of Kinderszenen... 😂

friday | 08/09/24

practice wasn't very good today...i kept making silly mistakes i didn't used to make. i'm tired. that's why. i also forgot to do my japanese lesson. i didn't feel like reading either. i don't remember what else i did that day.

saturday | 08/10/24

drained of all energy. didn't practice. didn't do japanese. just chilled with @zzzzzestforlife for the most part and started reading what you are looking for is in the library on her recommendation. i love how philosophical japanese fiction is fjsjdkdks ☺️☺️☺️ (and more generally, i'm surprised that for a culture so new to me, a lot of their ways are just...second nature to my personality...it was very relieving. but i also feel that if i were to live in such a place full time, i would be staying too much in my comfort zone...i also don't know that i would want to ever live in Japan since there are also some important aspects about my current home that i'd miss terribly. all this to say, i'd like to visit Japan again at some point in my lifetime.)

sunday | 08/11/24

went to bed feeling very drained, frustrated, and homesick. so as you can imagine, i didn't get very good sleep. my bare minimum goals for today are:

japanese lesson

read zesty's book recs (there's the library book, the secret adversary [which she rec'd back to me after i rec'd it to her a couple months ago lol], and leviathan wakes) ✅

monday | 08/12/24

finally read the last of the clementi sonatina! got it to a "meh" level to polish in the next few days. super excited! played a few other pieces after that but i think i should focus on level 7 pieces for now before jumping into something barely readable but still playable. i should've brought some level 8 sheet music with me too...but i guess i can read from my laptop (god save my eyes if i do that lol 😵)

might put Kinderszenen back on the (mental music) shelf for now.

i also read more of what you are looking for is in the library and i just love how much there is to ponder about what was said. insightful fiction is my favorite fiction 💗

tuesday | 08/13/24

finished What You Are Looking For Is In The Library! it's such a good book. it's a short story collection but each story is in the same universe and while each story is independent (convienient for readers like me who like to take their time with books but sometimes take so much time that they forget what the story was lol), they're connected in ways that...you know that feeling when you bump into an old acquaintance in a completely foreign place you don't expect to meet anyone you know? that feeling is what i felt as i read chapter after chapter. it makes the vast world feel less lonely.

in the evening i tried to memorize and get the clementi sonatina up to speed. i guess i must be succeeding because my dad said it'd make mice dance lol. also played a bit of traumerei...trying to read more of it but progress is slower since i need to pay closer attention to which notes to hold and when to let go of them.

wednesday | 08/14/24

started reading sweet bean paste today (another japanese book... they're quickly becoming my favorite type of book.) i like it so far. there's potential for a lot of warmth and emotion in talking about food, which is just 🥰

also started "Databases: Modeling and Theory" on edx... 🙈 i'm auditing so i only have 2 weeks (until Aug. 28) to access the material (because the minimum amount of time needed to complete the course is 2 weeks gahhh). so i need to be halfway by Aug. 19. in theory i can do this if i put in 2h of work each day. it's too hot to play piano during the day, so i can do databases then and play piano at night. yes, i can do this. (i need to get my brain used to a faster, "left-brained" pace anyway in prep for school in september. 🙁)

continuing to polish the clementi sonatina and started reading this kuhlau sonatina which is pretty fun difficult. it's really just the left hand that makes it suck. haven't figured out how to move so that the staccatos are sharp despite the finger pedaling. i can do it slow, but not fast while staying quiet, so i must be doing something wrong. sometimes you just gotta sit on it, i guess.

[james-is-here]

Maybe, maybe, just maybe

Some unrequited love between m reader and Jackson wang. Reader confesses his love to Jackson but Jackson just says sorry and leaves reader standing there alone sad and upset (I’m thinking reader is a soloist who has a lot of friends in the industry and he’s performing at Coachella) days later before he goes on stage he sees 88risings performance and sees Jackson and bibi perform together and gets upset cause he thinks they’re a thing (side note their chemistry on stage was so omg) and he gets sad so on stage he performs an unreleased sad song and after the performance he runs off crying and ends up finding comfort in the arms of another 👀👀👀👀 that’s all I got pooks 👀🖤👀🖤👀🖤

Umm...first time writing outside Stray Kids, incredibly nervous but thank you for sending a request ☺️😬😖 I had to do so much video research and just research in general cause I didn't know much about what you wanted, that's how I learned Atarashii was at Coachella

I'm actually really scared this isn't good cause I've honestly barely gone out of my writing zone with SKZ so if it's bad I'm really sorry.

Tags: Very nervous writing cause I try to make everything perfect 😅, short, Wise words from Han's father (Tiger JK😂), Fading Echoes is a fake song name...um...yeah, idk what else. I inserted Chan cause I couldn't help myself.

Side note: If anyone wants to be tagged when I post, lmk! I can definitely add you!

You stood backstage at Coachella, your heart pounding with anticipation. As a k-pop soloist, this was a dream come true, performing at one of the world's biggest music festivals. But amidst the excitement, your thoughts kept drifting to Jackson Wang, your friend and fellow idol.

When Jackson finally appeared in your line of sight, a smile lighting up your face, your nerves intensified. This was his chance to finally confess, it's been years and you can't stomach the nervous churning bubbles in your stomach anymore whenever you're with you friend. "Jackson" You call out and he makes his way over to you.

"Can I tell you something? It's important." Jackson's expression is curious as he tilts his head at you. "Sure, Mn. What's on your mind?"

Taking a deep breath, you gathered as much of your courage you can muster. "I... I have feelings for you. I've been wanting to tell you for a while now."

For a moment, there was silence, and your heart raced with anticipation as you felt like if you bite your lip nervously any more it may bleed. But then Jackson spoke --the churning of your stomach swirling tenfold-- his face was covered with a look of shock at your admission before it was taken over by a look of sympathy or awkwardness, you couldn't tell, his voice gentle yet firm. "Mn, I'm sorry, I-" Is all he said with a sigh before he looked away and just walked away.

With those few little words, your world felt like it shattered, your eyes wide and mouth dropped open as you watched in disbelief as Jackson just walked away, leaving your standing alone, feeling utterly rejected even though he didn't say anything but you could still tell, he's your friend, you know his answer or thoughts before he speaks them. That's what hurt though, apparently you've been focused on the wrong guy...

A while later, despite your lingering hurt, you put on a brave face as you enjoyed the other performers. You watched the artists of 88Rising perform, getting to say a small hello to Atarashii Gakko as they went on stage, and you felt a pang of jealousy when you later saw Jackson interacting with Bibi, you thought they looked way better together then you and Jackson would, along with feeling the need to be sick, but at your own self for thinking confessing to Jackson was a good idea.

When it was your turn to perform, you changed your set and performed 'Fading Echoes', a song you always thought was too melancholy for your usual upbeat or sensual songs. As you finished, tears threatened to spill from his eyes, and he fled the stage, seeking solace in the anonymity of the backstage area.

There, you ran into Tiger JK, another artist he admired. "Hey, Mn, right?" "U-Um, Yeah, sorry for running into you." You bow deeply before standing upright. "You okay?" "Um...." "It's okay if it's too personal. Your song out there was so...powerful." "Really? Kinda thought it sucked from my other stuff." "No, it was really good. I could feel the emotions." He tilts his head, looking over your face before placing a hand on your shoulder. "I can also see your emotions, you sure you're okay?"

Taking a deep breath, you shake your head. "Um, sort of? I...I confessed to my friend that I liked him...all he did was apologize and walk away..." JK hums to himself. "I still like him though but...now I don't even know if our friendship still exists."

Tiger JK listened patiently as you poured out your heart before speaking with his arm wrapping around your shoulder. "Mn, you sound like an amazing guy. So what if one dude doesn't like you but you shouldn't chase after someone who can't see your worth."

You nodded, your heart heavy yet strangely lighter at the same time. As Tiger JK tightened his arm and gave you a tight side hug, you couldn't help but feel grateful for his kindness.

"Y'know, you remind me of someone." "I do?" "Absolutely. His name is Chris." "Chris?" "Or Chan. I think you two would get along great, plus he's an idol as well." You easily fall into another conversation which was mainly JK telling you about his friend.

Though, you couldn't stop but think if it was worth keeping Jackson as a friend. You've known him for a long time but after your rejected confession, it feels too awkward.

You'll think about it later though, cause your brought back from your thoughts when JK offers you his phone with a picture of him and another guy, maybe the same age as you, and when JK tells it that it's Chan, you forget about Jackson, cause honestly JK's friend is...cute.

mmmmm this is bad, I'm sorry. Well, no, it's...okay. Honestly I'm not proud of this but it's good, I think, and I hope you liked it 😬

I feel disappointed in myself and idk why but no, it's good, I'm stepping out of my stray kids comfort zone even though it feels weird.

[deadbeandrop]

is lumpus a city boy

y'know i really love asking in that way (there's something cute yet almost mocking about the phrase) but you get me, see, i already have a list of this stuff i've been trying to figure out for everyone

for the record, at the same time i've also been trying to nail down the other factors that come with a family situation there, like, work statuses of the household, wealth, what time frame i'm working from (it's such a nightmare trying to get a job and own a house in comparison rn...) so i'll talk about that a bit too... and there is also the ever present "do you guys know how fucking Expensive it actually is to stay at a summer camp this long???" thing that unfortunately my very specific brain has me thinking about even though it doesn't matter in Cartoon Land and i simply have a Prablem

(i'm also still learning about some of these terms i use because i have no life experience but i hope this still paints a picture here even if it might not be fully correct...?)

so for lumpus specifically we're looking at

- two parents who aren't particularly young when he's born (my friends not too much older than me talk about their 50+ parents and i'm like What???)

- a span of years where it's still easier to make enough money to own a house and be alright on one good source of income (his father works but i'm not sure what his job is yet... maybe he should go work at the nuclear power plant all homer simpson-style and die ☺️ idk)

- a flashback that i'm working off of where things look pretty average over there (i do still have the idea that the house is a hand-me-down from one of their parents on the table though... in general my brain still tilts to working class in a different era but this is subject to change a bit)

- me having already placed a general area in the state that i've been playing in (i've been eyeing sort of the southwest here but i do need to think about it more and the distance from camp further north)

- at least enough money to be sent to camp for the summer (even if he has to scrounge it up over the year, but i've also been thinking of camp kidney already being a bit different/weird on this front)

- and a character where camp being something of an "escape" for him is actually pretty important

so i don't think he's a country boy, but i also definitely haven't been imagining things directly in the city, so i placed him in the middle zone, which means they're either somewhere in suburbs or a little bit outside of that... not overwhelmingly urban but still not too far. i'm only learning today what i might be thinking is usually called the exurbs, maybe...? i don't have a strong sense of reference for a lot of things so a lot of my thinking is based in places where i've lived... and he very likely may not have a super accessible woods to go and frolic in but maybe the issue is just that he has no one to do it with cus he's an only child with no friends growing up LOL

the Main part of the Escape aspect is still on other factors, i.e. he's lonely at home, his parents fight a lot and his dad's an alcoholic and he has a very complicated relationship with them (you know how it goes), he's not the best in school and gets picked on and in trouble a lot there as well, etc.

and i think it's almost helpful to describe everything in contrast to slinkman's family, which in comparison is a bit easier to pin down. his family is more on the side of upper middle class (?) and they have a good sized house with passive income (father's a landlord) to be comfortable with and are actively involved in their community. they do live in the suburbs just because a mix of the of the type of people they are (his father's a city boy but his mother's on the country end) and cus they do have the privilege to do so. they're able to pay for slinkman to go to college/uni and for lumpus to fuck around over there but for slinkman to still feel like he's leeching off of their support too much... and it's almost that feeling to me when i visit an older relative who's got an actual House, and it's a decent size, its always clean, and there's a spare bedroom or two, and they're always busy or off doing something, and it still feels like they have the money to spare on whatever even if they don't really... to me that's still almost the feeling lumpus gets when he stays with slinkman and his parents for a while LOL

so the difference between their situations at least in translation to today is something like this to me:

To me middle class is staying afloat - you make enough money, can save up for a minor goal like a vacation or even a medium goal like a car down payment but you’d probably finance the car rather than purchase it in cash. A minor emergency or car issue won’t break you but it’ll delay other priorities (like vacation would get delayed by a year)

Upper middle class is making enough to support your day to day life and having a decent amount of excess income to where you can save quite a bit while taking a family vacation a couple of times a year (maybe overseas for a couple of weeks a year). You may be working towards saving for a rental property and investing in a 401k, IRA, and maybe even taxable brokerage account. Rainy day fund is fully funded so you won’t have an issue with regular maintenance on your car or needing braces for the kids.

lumpus' family still struggles at times, is probably in debt in some areas, they don't always have the money for what they want and something like camp becomes an exception (there is definitely still the threat of lumpus worrying he won't be able to go to camp if too much comes up...) and slinkman's family is over here with assets and money to spare even if they can't go crazy... but everything also sort of feeds into slinkman's "it's easier to just follow someone else's lead" thing too, like, his dad is like ''son why don't you go to college for (XYZ)'' and slinkman's like ''ok'' because he literally had his only sense of self aspiration crushed barely a couple of years ago and he has no idea what to do with himself and they'll have the money to do so and so he just sort of goes along with it

anyway. yeah. i have a lot of shit locked and loaded at any given time thank you for the quastion 😁

[rand0muser463]

Hi, I don't post on tumblr, so this is my first post 😁

Yesterday I got a message asking if I would like a free reading by Paul from @sibyl-guide which honestly took me by surprise and I was bit hesitant at first to respond😅 but once I did I got sent a link, I added my birth details, and once I got the reading I was not dissapointed. I didn't have to wait long to get the reading. It was quick and easy to understand and use! The reading came with 3 topics:

One: advice of a topic of your choice (I chose Career).

Two: a complete reading of your natal chart.

Three: a transit reading, going into detail about what planets are affecting and influencing you currently.

I found it all to be extremely detailed for me!

For my career advice reading, it mentioned that for me to be adaptable to unexpected changes and open to new opportunities that might be out of my comfort zone. my transit reading has also mentioned being flexible for new oppertunities as well as acting on pursuing goals and expressing myself.

I'm currently on a gap year/taking a year off from education and recently joined a youth theatre group (not only that I will start acting classes in april) to get the opportunity to act outside of school/education as well as trying to get out of my comfort zone and meet new people. I'm just trying to learn to let go, embrace new opportunities, and be more independent.

For my natal chart genuinely, I was pleasantly surprised by how accurate I found it. What I found to be the most accurate that was brought up was my need for self-expression and finding ways to express myself creatively. I have a tendency to keep to myself a lot of the time and struggle speaking my thoughts, so performing really helps me get out of my comfort zone, expressing my emotions and putting myself out there.

You could tell that with the amount of work and detail put into this that Paul has a genuine interest in astrology, thank you for the reading!😊☺️ it really felt like a reflection of who I am as a person, genuinely ever since i got this reading I keep going back to it every few hours, plus I’ve always wanted to get an astrology reading done so I'm taking this as a sign😂.

(BTW Paul, sorry for the slight delay. As soon as i finished the reading, I started writing this review yesterday, but I also had other stuff I needed to do😅😭😭).

[ruminate88]

Andrew 💔💔💔💔💔

All the tears I’ve cried for you are not in vain 🥺❤️‍🩹 I am forgiving you and healing over you one tear at a time. I understand you couldn’t love me or be genuine with me. Not sure what you were aware of or what your feelings were. I certainly didn’t know what real love looked like but I wanted to. I wanted to care about you and I tried. I was out of my comfort zone with you a lot. You didn’t give me the opportunity to know the real you because I believe you wear a mask to hide all your pain and darkness within. Did you know I also had darkness in me? I was so lost and lonely. I was ghosted prior to you and I am sure you couldn’t empathize or understand me. You probably are use to people chasing you and obsessing over you. While I was use to rejection and abandonment. I hoped you were different than others who hurt me but you weren’t. Did you enjoy trying to damage me? Did you hope I would hurt myself???

I don’t hate you and I feel I will always love you but that’s not gonna change the fact you broke trust and sunk me down so low. You didn’t know I was such a survivor. You didn’t know my strength!!! Not sure what part of our relationship was a joke to you or not. Doesn’t matter anymore we can’t undo the past. I’m growing and learning because of you. You’re welcome. ☺️ I’m learning to better myself and learning about healing and life. All important. I want the same for you ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I will never look at you the same way I did when I first told you I loved you…. 🥺😢😣 I’ll never trust you again!! I will always hope for better moving forward. For both of us to heal and learn to love ourselves and others. I’m sorry Andrew I didn’t know any better when we were talking. I was blind to the things you were doing and couldn’t help us back then. I let you destroy us and you didn’t fight for me, so I didn’t fight for you either. Just screamed at you that it’s all over and ran from you cuz you scared me. The way you lied to me and tried to manipulate my reality. It’s scary! I saw no hope with you when I realized you’ll lie and say anything just to protect yourself from guilt and shame even if it hurts me…. Your lies hurt more than any beating I could have gotten. Not just your lies but your NEGLIGENCE 😭😭😭

How you kept ignoring me all the time while I sat there on my phone staring at your older text, wondering what I was doing wrong for you to continually abandon me. 💔💔 I do think of you and miss you when you seemed into me but that version of you isn’t real. You tricked me into thinking you loved me all so you could use me ❤️‍🩹 hope you enjoyed it babe. Hope you had fun hurting me so much.

[h0rr0rsaxo]

hi again, nightmare! thank you for answering my prev ask (the one about the matchups guidelines) and with that, i'd like to ask for a male arcane matchup if that's okay, either sfw or nsfw will do ☺️

for starters, i'm an she/her enfj libra hehe as for looks, i have wavy medium-length dyed brown hair, dark brown eyes, i'm v short but curvy, and i wear glasses (they're only reading glasses but i wear them nearly everyday, especially when i'm reading or using my gadgets).

personality wise, i'm an ambivert, though being more extroverted though. i'm v motivated and i strive hard to achieve my goals. i take risks and often go out of my comfort zone for my goals just so i can get some experience and to build my way up. i'm nice (too nice sometimes), friendly, and v loving, especially to my loved ones, hence why my friends would identify me as the "motherly" or "sisterly" type. i love to make friends, often being the first one to approach people or one of the loudest in a group but i can have my quiet moments, especially when people don't match my energy. i adjust well to crowds and can make friends easily. for the negative side of my personality, i am too nice that i sometimes am oblivious when people are taking advantage of me and i often think i'm the problem. i care too much for others that i forget to focus on myself.

for hobbies, i loveeee art and i love to create it (paintings/sketches, theatre, music, literature, architecture, film, and photography). i write a lot too, either stories or essays and letters for school and my inside school organizations. i also love to read and collect books, and play sports!

i'm someone who has the love language of quality time, so i look for a partner who can provide that. even if we aren't doing anything or i'm just looking at them working or vice versa, i'm fine, as long as i can feel their presence. i love a partner who can listen to me ramble about anything and everything since i tend to talk a lot, especially on a topic that i'm passionate about or have a lot of knowledge in (rip to my mom who had to listen to me explain why the sky is blue and after learning it in physics 😭). i also love a partner who has the same interests in me and is as nerdy as me (big yes to nerdy guys 🤤 ALSO reading/book date? YES 😍) or at least someone who is supportive of my endeavors. i wouldn't want a partner who is too much like me and is extroverted or popular HAHAHAHAA idk how to explain it but i really don't go for popular guys even fictional ones 😭

i hope this isn't too long for you HAHAHAHA lmk if you need some more information and so, especially if you're going to go for a nsfw matchup though!! thank you so much, nightmare and have a great day 😋❤️

— 📐 anon

I match you with...Viktor!

𝐓𝐖 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠; 𝐍𝐨𝐧𝐞!

→ ❝ At first, he didn't really pick you out from the crowd. He just saw you as another civilian- and he focused on his more significant goals in life. You spoke to him occasionally, but that was about it. To be honest, you're probably the one who carried most of the 'conversations' together, he's DRY. ❞

→ ❝ It was when you finally had a proper conversation with him, that he noticed just how dedicated and optimistic you were, especially towards your goals. Despite how dedicated he already was, you managed to motivate him even more. Your optimism had more effect on him than he initially thought, nice going you! ❞

→ ❝ Your motherly mannerisms forced him to get some sleep when he needed it, though he still occasionally pulled an all-nighter (without you knowing, of course.) Viktor was the quiet type, but he listened intently when you rambled about your day, or your passion. He only spoke when he felt it was necessary. You were a sweet duo, opposites do attract after all. ❞

→ ❝ The yellow of his eyes glimmered as you stood up from your position. You had been tending to your work, one of the many moments where the both of you sat in comfortable silence amongst each other. ❞

→ ❝ The scientist smiled endearingly as the sun highlighted your hair a glowing brown, he had truly never seen such a beautiful woman in his life. A smudge of paint stained your cheek, and he was almost tempted to clean it himself. As soon as he realized what he had been thinking about, he self diagnosed. Saying he was almost perplexed was an understatement. ❞

→ ❝ Then of course, he started to avoid you. He didn't want you to get in the way of his studies- he thought it was just a small crush, and it would eventually subside once he buried himself deep within his work, and left you alone to attend to your family and own interests. ❞

→ ❝ It, however did the very opposite. Instead, he started to think about you even more as if to make up for you not being by his side. It caused him to be so disorderly with his duties- even Jayce was confused at this. Viktor? Not buried in his work? Weird. ❞

→ ❝ He eventually found his way back to you, and the both of you talked it out. It was sweet, the both of you aren't dating (yet), but give him some time <3 I promise this nerd is worth it. ❞

→ BONUS: ❝ His calloused hands, rough and tired and aching from tweaking and adjusting the hextech, takes a hold of his doorknob and gives it a turn. Lily-livered hues struggle to adjust to the blearing light he was sure he had turned off, until he finds you in his bed, arms covered in the fabric of your sweater waving out at the sight of him. You seemed as tired as he was- with pictures you took and portraits surrounding you. But despite your slightly disheveled brown hair, the same amount of passion you held for your hobbies was still there. Something he admired all too well. ❞

❝ Usually, you were the one who cherished watching him work- but this time, he seemed to be relishing in your presence. You were adorable- your glasses slightly tilted near the edge of your nose and your lids just barely closing. You yawned, and greeted him heartily, while he continued to take pleasure in watching you be tired for once. (You always seemed incredibly energetic, it was astonishing.) ❞

[alexturne]

1, 5, 8, 10 and 20 for the meta writer ask 🥰

Thank you so much for your questions 😘 This isn't going to be short, because when have I ever been able to write something short??? Never, that's when.

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

I've got a bunch of little ideas floating around. I try to write the idea/concept down as it comes to me as to not forget it. I've got a fitness/personal trainer au, a regency au and one with a spin the bottle kiss with subsequent OMG AM I ATTRACTED TO MY BEST FRIEND-panic. Most of those lie dormant for the time being, though.

But the ones I'm more actively writing is my enemies to lovers story, you've got control of everyone's eyes (including mine) which is set around the Monkeys' first tour with The Little Flames in 2005 and features plenty of drunk arguing and pent up sexual tension. Lots of young tempers and insecurities and it's actually the first Milex story I EVER started writing on. Started writing that one in September 2021. In regards to this story I love the dynamic in enemies to lovers. I love when they're acting like dumb idiots who just refuse to communicate and figure shit out, when they're denying themselves what is obviously all they want, and in the end they can't help themselves. With this one I like the challenge of writing fights and arguments - it's a bit less soft and fluffy than my other stories and I like exploring the idea of the characters acting in bad ways towards each other - I like that they're making bad choices and being dicks and have to try and work it out. The challenge of allowing my characters to be flawed - I love that.

The second is the as of yet untitled Sick!fic that @glorious-blackout suggested 😘 Miles being ill and Alex trying to take care of him, even though Miles puts up a brave fight. Alex mother-henning the shit out of him and Miles being a stubborn little bitch. I think that one's going to be the next one I manage to get done and put online, as the other one is kind of massive in comparison and there are quite a lot of complicated stuff with that one I haven't worked out yet. With this one I love having Miles being so stubborn and refusing the help and Alex just being so soft and caring. I like the dynamic that arises and I love the idea of someone loving you so much that they're there for you even when you yell at them not to. Also I feel like that one's almost a little communal project and so many people sounded like they were excited about it, which is greatly motivating 😘 I love trying to write for you all.

5. What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

I think I mostly identify with Alex in under these lights you look beautiful. I found many of his experiences and feelings mirrored in my own life in different ways. Those insecurities, the struggle to let people in when you're not at your best, the constant worry about people getting too close and sometimes isolating yourself and shoving down your emotions or keeping too much to yourself when it gets tough. It was kinda therapeutic for me to write him - though not as much as it actually ended up on the page, but the process I went through when writing it. 😊

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Honestly, I love to read almost everything. 😂 And I do really write for myself most of the time so of course my writing is going to be what I want to read as well. But I also like reading things with a bit more darkness/angst to it and things that are more plot driven and bigger ensembles than what I manage to write, as of yet anyway. I still very much consider myself rather green in terms of writing, and I'm very much still learning and trying things out. Pushing my comfort zone a little bit bigger every time ☺️

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Chaotic and sporadic and unstructured 😂 I write all of my fic on my phone. And I rarely have time to myself so when I do and I also have the energy in the inspiration to write I try to squeeze some tapping in.

I sometimes get little bursts where I just can't stop writing and then I get down 8k in no time - wrote the entirety of you just ain't the one for me in one day - and then other times I can barely get out two sentences. I try to let it flow organically and write when the mood strikes. I don't want it to become a chore or something I have to force myself to do. It's something I do for me, for fun and I only want it to be a positive thing in my life.

But when I get an idea I usually try to write so much of it down as possible as fast as possible as to not forget. My mind is a mess at the best of times and if I don't get it down immediately it's gone forever. Sometimes even when I'm at work and some piece of dialogue or an idea to further the plot strikes me and I just HAVE to get it down before I lose it. And then it's just writing through it, putting one little letter after the other until it's done. I don't have a structured note or timeline system (I really should!) and sometimes I lose track of where I'm at. My writing is very much reading and rereading the whole thing over and over and adding little bits and pieces, and the worst part is writing the ending because I'm horrible at those 😂 And I hate saying goodbye and I hate change so it's really my least favourite part of the whole thing.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Oh, sometimes I wish my writing was more clever and more matured, so there would be all of these incredible things - but often I find it's not.. maybe there is and I'm just not looking hard enough. Or maybe it's there and it's not for me to say, as Alex so eloquently puts it. I'd love to hear what other people pick up on though.

But I loved the symbolism and poetic stints that made it into under these lights you look beautiful. And I really really love writing descriptions of mood and atmosphere and like the surroundings and the ~vibes about how everything feels. Also I find bodily reactions and sensations feature quite heavily? I suppose I write reactions through bodily reactions.

I do love good character and relationship development but I don't think I'm quite where I want to be with it yet. But i like trying to leave little hints about how the character feels now and then underline when that thing changes and for them to realize it changed. And try to figure out what it does to the story that something has changed. I like to let the piece inform me of where i need to to. For tje characters to come alive and find their voice.

And that's sort of my favourite thing. I find that my writing is very character based and I get very into the head of my characters. Think about what they would do or think in this situation and try to create a distinction between how the different characters would act. I find human beings and their way of thinking and acting interesting and I suppose that's what translates into my stories as well 😊

Thaaaanks ❤️❤️

[astroreadsbyelle]

Hey darling 💖

This is my feedback 🌺🤗

First of all thank you so much for the long reading, that definitely took a lot of your energy and time & i'm so grateful for that ☺️

✨The 1st question:

i think that person/people are the ones i'll be literally meeting in an event 1 to 2 weeks from now, this has to do with learning new things and starting projects, i think that listening to others and their opinions is very important, especially their concerns about a group project that affects either 2 people or more,i feel discouraged easily because i'm not used to achieving things in life or with the help of some sort of a community, this is new to me & i'll try my best to be more open minded and helpful & aware of how everything impacts everyone, i was planning on meditating more, it's really hard at the beginning but i'll try to calm myself down & do my best to make my dreams come true.

✨The 2nd question:

I liked helping people since a young age yes! this has to do with something creative which i'm very sad about actually because of my low self worth of not being able to do it perfectly or make mistakes or just not being successful in general, it's something very personal, secretive & private because i also think that no one would support me if i actually do it, i notice myself sometimes being greedy which is a reaction of not choosing myself for my whole life so now i'm tired & i'm suddenly making the opposite

unnecessary moves or saying things that make my relationships with others worse, making my dreams come true makes me angry somehow, because it always faces criticism & hate rather than support, i'll try to change that, but going deeper & healing my inner child ❤️

✨The 3rd question:

I realized that my family especially are worried about me, i didn't go to college nor had a job or friends for the past 3 years, my isolation made me way more depressed & anxious, by journaling more, meditation, being kind to myself, i'm sure i'll be happier, i went to therapy 2 months ago & that helped me somehow so now i'll start getting out of my comfort zone & think of it as a good thing not a bad one, our experiences shape who we are, maybe this time i can make my life better rather than running away like i always did.

Thank you again for everything, i really liked the advices & the reading in general 🥰💗💗

thank you so much for the feedback, I’m so glad it resonated with you! much love as always 🥰💕

[lyssaloveesmagick]

Hello love!! Hope you are doing good!! May I please request a reading on how will be the relationship dynamics with my future spouse ☺️❤️thank you soo much!! Sending you lots of love and happiness!:))

Hey, so this person knows how to go for what they want, at times this can make them come off as a little bit manipulative and ego driven but they have a lot of power to them. They have had to learn how to let down their guard and when it comes to protecting their heart after things haven't turned out their way. This can leave them to feel protective over their desires because they feel like they work so hard that they want to see that hard work pay off for themselves so they come off as really tough but fluffy although they may tend to use their power to their advantage. I see that you have also been facing the need to push yourself out of your comfort zone especially when it comes to creating the passionate connection that you desire after things haven't necessarily gone your way in the past. The desire to try something new is what brings you guys together, the outcome of this relationship is very successful very passionate but you do need to keep an eye on the line between a nurturing relationship and codependent emesment.