#this was super wordy!!! m sorry i talk a lot sometimes

[b1mbodoll]

gabi baby listen I NEED to see more Jake and cnc 😵‍💫 the way you write. big brained and I love you. or just any cnc for that matter even though we see it already. I just have brainrot about everyone you write (esp fem idols oh my god)

also how's your day? how are you, pretty girl?

hihi lovebug i promise i will do my best to satisfy ur needs!!!!!! i love cnc n jake sososo much agh im crazy!!!!!!!! im literally blushing n kicking my feet bc of ur complimente omg i love u more!!!!!! if there r any female idols in particular you’d like to see just lmk n i’ll try to think some stuff up :3

ps m sorry for replying late!!!! but my day was good! its 5am for me n im still awake cus i spent the whole day recovering from st patricks day i may have gotten a bit fucked up 😭 but i had fun!!!! the hangover was worth it!!!!! n im doin well, just struggling with writers block so m tryin to relax n just write what i wna write whenever i want to instead of trying to force myself to write when im unmotivated or write for things im not rly feelin :[ i greatly appreciate u askinf abt me!! ur such a sweetie pie mwah <3 i hope you’re doin well, baby!!! lmk how ur doin !!! m curious n ur so kind <3

[mcr-lesbian]

only if it's not too personal: would it be okay for you to share how you knew you were bi? I'm struggling to find out what attraction is for me (what is it for you?) & if i am attracted to guys / girls. I've had crushes on guys (i think) and after suddenly having something I think was a crush on a girl (I saw her only twice but in between couldn't stop thinking about her?), it was so new and since then I'm officially questioning. (aesthetic) admiration is there but does that mean anything? Thx!

You are all good Anon! SOrry this took so long for me to reply to (you happened to catch me while I was at work). I’ve answered questions like this before so I’m totally okay with anyone asking me about my sexuality and any questions regarding it! 

Under a cut bc this is gonna be long and wordy, but I really want to help!

BUT IF THERE’S ANYTHING I MISSED OR YOU WANT CLARIFIED (or if i just didn't answer what you were going for at all) ON OR IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS FEEL FREE TO SEND ANOTHER MESSAGE OR TEN!

SO! At first I really didn’t know. It kind of snuck up on me and I managed to be lucky enough at 14 to find the label that fit me. I had crushes on guys. Lots and lots of crushes on guys. And then, like, the more I learned about sexuality and how it was possible to be interested in both men and women (thank you internet that my parents never check on) things just kind of starting to fall together? AND THEN I realized how I was hard-core crushing on my friend BUT I didn’t realize I was because crushing on her felt different than crushing on a guy!!!)

And I still feel very different attractions toward men than I do women. My attraction to women is like a constant hum followed by a huge spike when I happen to meet or see a woman I’m REALLY attracted to. My attraction to men is kind of...all over the place? Sometimes my attraction to men is not there at all tbh and I wonder if I imagined it and if I’ve been faking it all along? But then I just like, google pics of Ezra Miller or John Boyega and then I’m like “AH YES, there it is.” ( I go through this every other week if not every week and after seeing posts on tumblr from other bisexuals I’ve found that it’s not unusual)

I remember a tumblr post about how someone said that their attraction to women felt like “ahhhh” but men felt like “oh” and putting that into words is weird and I feel the same way. Im interested and attracted to both, but the feeling I get when I realize this is almost totally different. 

Honestly, sometimes I”m not very attracted to a person (man, woman, someone who lies outside of the gender binary) until I get to know them and I feel comfortable around them. There’s the person i’m low-key crushing on bc they’re super cute/hot and then I find out that they’re NICE and FUNNY and then I’m on like, cloud 9 and a stuttering, blushing mess because, the attraction SPIKES and is followed by hard-core crushing and non-stop thinking about them and wanting to talk to them). 

BASICALLY! Attraction is a mess and only you can define what your attraction to a person means. And if you decide that “bisexual” is the label you feel most comfortable with and you feel differently towards men than you do women, that’s totally normal OR if you go through periods of time where you are more attracted to women than to men or maybe at a point you feel more attracted to men than women, but that underlying/fluctuating attraction is still there and you’re still valid.