#this was so unorganized but I was bursting at the seams I had to ramble somewhere 😭

[eeblouissant]

hiii this post contains huge spoilers for ep 22 of the golden palace, so don’t read / watch under the cut if you’d like to avoid that!!

to the rest of you… hi. I NEEEDDDD to talk about this scene right here (excuse the quality, unfortunately I couldn’t find a better source):

you already know what I’m going to say.

Firstly: this was incredibly satisfying to watch & hear. It’s one thing for Dorothy to berate Stan but BLANCHE? Somehow it’s almost better. Because Dorothy has some empathy for him, being the father of her children and all, but Blanche? All she’s ever known him for is continually hurting and lying to her best friend / the divorce / walking out on her (as she mentions, quite boldly, but I’ll touch on that in a moment) / using her (Dorothy) for money or attention KNOWING that she’ll give him her time when she shouldn’t (when she’s already said goodbye, Stanley.) / cheating !!!more than once!!! / the list goes on.

I get the feeling, as Blanche goes on getting progressively worked up thinking about all the shitty things Stan has done, that she’s been waiting YEARS for this moment. Not for his death, but for a moment where she can finally bask in the knowledge that he can no longer hurt Dorothy, or his children, or their family. He is gone. Gone gone gone, for good.

what really got me was the silence, her tone, and the look in her eyes after “[he] walked out on your daughter.” That silence was loud. And whether it was an attempt to get Sophia (who’s not nearly as numb to Stan’s shenanigans as Dorothy was, but still let him off the hook much more often and for longer than she should have) to finally see him for how awful he was, or if it was coming from a place of genuine anger that she hadn’t had the room to express before; the emphasis on that line was purposeful. It healed something in me 😭

There’s also an emphasis on “finally gone” , which leads me to assume Blanche, although she would never say this out loud, might be a little relieved by the news? And with all that she said being true, I can’t blame her. It’s not like she had any important connection to him anyways, the one time Dorothy thought she might have slept with him ended up not being the case at all - she’s hated him since the beginning and it’s so nice to finally see her getting her moment of “yeah, since no one else wants to say it: this dude fucking sucked and shouldn’t be glorified now because he died.” No redemption for Stan!!!! Blanche gets it!!!!! he was an ass and now he’s dead!!! (Or so they think. 🙃)

[vagarius]

thanks for tagging me, @iamthefacebehindthemask!!! (I always get really excited when I see you tagged me, I love these things)

i’m not sure who to tag though... if there’s any writers who want to do this count this as me tagging you

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

vagarious: erratic and unpredictable in behavior or direction

I just took out the “o” lol. It’s kind of ironic now bc I’m pretty predictable when it comes to fics...

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

Subscriptions: crumble; throw, which is one of my only multichap works and like the only one i’ve actually updated... still have to get out that last chapter though iT WILL HAPPEN

Hits: housework, a short kurokage fic which for some reason has 1711 hits

Kudos/Bookmarks: phones, which is my free/hq wrong-number crossover fic with 264 kudos and 42 bookmarks (it was a lot of fun to write)

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

N/A (oops)

4. Do you have any regular/ favorite commenters?

odoridango and bystander have commented on a lot of my hq!! fics (thank you!!!!!) and horchata has written me some of the sweetest comments ever. And all my boueibu fics tend to have the same few commenters @nardaviel @mystofthestars @thatlittledandere @angelluckovich kakera

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

There are quite a few, actually. Pretty much all of @fortune-maiden‘s boueibu fics bc they always make me smile, the vld fics Recoil/Release and Keith’s ‘Physical Contact’ Initiation Program, and all the gift fic people have written me and Distractions and Pliant by tastewithouttalent but they’re both enatsu smut and i’m embarrassed. I go back to pretty much all my bookmarks but sometimes I have to be in a certain mood to read them, I guess.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

24 subscriptions, 108 bookmarks

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

um... slice of life aus, I suppose? most of the stuff i write is loosely canon compliant now that i think about it...

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

27 user subscriptions and 477 total bookmarks (to works)

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

My more outlandish crossovers, I suppose. like dark!boueibu x vld

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

I’d like to get better at writing fantasy/adventure. And actually writing longer fic. (I can usually plan it out but have trouble actually getting the words on paper when there’s just so much stuff and a majority of the time the fic veers off and i have to plan again...)

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Rarepairs, I think. Or relatively popular ships in small fandoms :P

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

48 (!!!)

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

oh god... too many... and they’re spread throughout three devices + an online drive

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I mostly jot down snippets and lines and other small ideas like that to incorporate/develop into a fic later on. And I’ll layout longer fic if I intend to write said fic. Though there’s some things (mostly AUs and crossovers) I don’t intend to write but keep in my head to keep my thoughts warm.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

No, but I have participated in collaborative things like the free! shipping relay and hqbb

16. How did you discover AO3?

I honestly don’t remember.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

haha no

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

um, if ever asked, I just say “Elena,” which is my first name, so...

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

There wasn’t a specific author, but the fic catch a falling star by hoshruba is the fic that inspired me to really get into fic writing. I had written pjo/hoo fic on ffnet before then, but catch a falling star is when I started to get serious (for lack of a better term) about it

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Like what you write. Which is crappy advice, I know, but if you write what you want to read and are happy with it, then you’ll keep writing, and when you keep writing you’ll inevitably improve, even if it doesn’t feel like it. You’ll improve bc, at least for me, the more fic I published the more I wanted to publish, and the more I had to learn how to do to write things. Ideas burst out of me at the seams. So write those short drabbles and ramble-ly one-shots and just. Enjoy them. Like what you write.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I typically plot out longer stories, but my planning stages tend to just be random bursts of ideas and lines in an unorganized list. On the other hand, there are quite a few fics of mine that I started and finished within one sitting - it felt like they wrote themselves.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

I haven’t gotten a bad comment that I remember (there are probs a few on my old fics but whatever), but I have gotten some weird/funny comments on said old fics on ffnet.

Examples:

You sweared!

What

also now that i’m looking at them most of my ffnet comments reported crying... i wrote a lot of angst and still kinda do oops

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Action. Fantasy. Fantasy action. Most things outside of slice of life, now that i’m thinking about it...

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Too many, omg. I still have that last part of crumble; throw, and I also have an iokin fic I want to finish but it’s gotten out of hand... also a long keith (vld) fic but we’ll see how that goes. Plus all my little ideas floating around in various electronic devices.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

Um, the stories ideas kinda just... happen... and whichever I finish/start first are the ones I finish/start first.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Not a daily one, but when I do sit down to write I try to go for at least 300-400 words (though if I really sit down to write it’ll typically go beyond that)

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Definitely (hopefully)

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

an endless start of april, probably

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

There’s no fic I’ve written that I actively dislike. If I posted it, I like it, at least a little.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Still writing fic, lol

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

For me? Writing dialogue, probably.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Starting.

33. Why do you write?

I first started writing because there was stuff I wanted to read but couldn’t find, so I wrote it myself. I don’t think that’s changed. I also think it’s fun to explore emotions and how they translate in to action (or lack of action).