#this was probably one of the biggest and neatest I’ve ever seen

[tumbling-and-tchaikovsky]

44

[goldendream-s]

tied down; pt. 2

part 1 masterlist || request

a/n; the gif is totally irrelevant but i couldn’t help myself LOL

Knocking on the door of the address his manager gave him, Shawn played with the strings of his hoodie. After a much needed month-long rest following his European and Asia legs of his tour, he’d be meeting his opener for his American shows. Shawn usually had opening acts who he was already familiar with, but this opening act was one he’d never met in person. After hearing some of his tracks, Shawn insisted on spending the day with the guy he’d be spending the next part of tour with. 

To be frank, Shawn would much rather be by himself figuring a way to win you back, but didn’t want to make any bad first impressions on Tyler, the guy he’d be meeting soon. 

The door finally swung open, removing Shawn from his drifting thoughts.

“Hey man, it’s nice to meet you. Sorry if I kept you waiting for long,” Tyler kindly greeted as he shrugged on his jacket and closed his door. He was slightly shorter than Shawn but had resembling black skinny jeans. His light brown hair was slightly quiffed and feet clad in converse. Shawn introduced himself, complimenting Tyler’s music as they got ready to leave. The two planned to go to nearby guitar shops in hopes of finding a new instrument to bring along on tour.

Tyler and Shawn quickly clicked together and Shawn could already feel a great friendship on the rise. The two were about the same age and shared the same love for guitar ballads, songwriting, and hockey, making every second of their conversation interesting. Sure, they had been talking over text for weeks now, but Shawn didn’t expect to relate to a new friend that easily. It was refreshing for him to meet someone who treated him like Shawn, the teen boy from Pickering who was obsessed with Harry Potter and magic. Not Shawn Mendes, who was touring the world and holder of numerous awards and multiple platinum titles.

Gazing across the wall decorated in electric and acoustic guitars, the two new friends requested for some to be taken down to try out. 

“Do you have any particular guitars that you came here for?” Tyler asked, eyeing a turquoise electric.

“Nah, I’m just gonna look around and see if any guitars would be good for the next album,” he replied, thinking about a song that he had written on the flight back home.

Although the last thing Shawn needed was another guitar to add to his already massive collection, he craved something to distract him from the thought of you.

Looking up from his feet while waiting, Tyler diverged the topic, “I hope this isn’t too random, but could I ask you a question? You know, about touring?”

Shawn nodded, understanding how scary it could be going on a big tour that would last for another set of months.

“So, this girl and I have been going out and I really wanna officially ask her out. I would do it in a heartbeat, but I don’t know if tour would get in the way of our relationship. I’ve heard stories of people feeling tied down, but I also feel so many things for this girl,” Tyler slightly rambled, a small blush grazing across his tan cheeks.

At his seemingly innocent words, Shawn merely choked, gripping tightly onto the neck of the guitar he was holding. It had been months, but the mention of being tied down hit too close to home. It was like he was seeing himself in a mirror reliving his fears again.

“How serious are you about her?” Shawn questioned. Although he hadn’t been in too many relationships, he was a hopeless romantic.

“Honestly? I think I love her,” he replied, “like, it’s so crazy how fast I fell for her but I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Tyler continued.

Listening to Tyler’s sweet words made Shawn’s heart wrench. He admired how highly he talked about the girl, wishing he had told you how beautiful you were more often.

“If you’re sure about this girl, I would just do it. At the end of the day, sometimes a relationship can be so much more worth it than some random hookups and it seems like you really like this girl from the way you’re talking about her,” Shawn answered. 

“It’s great to have someone to keep you grounded. Of course, there’s going to be times where you miss her, but there’s no better feeling than to come back home to them,” he continued, giving the advice that he wishes someone would’ve told him months ago. 

He didn't want Tyler to make the same mistake as him. He didn’t want Tyler to spend nights drinking into oblivion or have a notebook’s worth of songs about a broken heart like he did. Didn’t want him dwelling on “what if’s” and “could have’s.” 

What he wanted, was to have you back in his arms - to get a chance to explain to you that he had made the biggest, dumbest mistake of his life.

Tyler nodded, a smile gleaming across his face. 

“How long have the two of you been talking?”

“We met through some mutuals just a few months ago. Her last breakup turned out bad and she said she was over it, but I don’t wanna rush her,” he explained as the employee brought out two new guitars.

“I think you’ll be able to know when she’s ready, but a tour is definitely a huge test for any relationship,” Shawn spoke, his mind taking back to the late nights he spent talking to you. He hated not hearing your soft voice for more than a day, but sometime down the road, Shawn somehow convinced himself that commitment was something he wasn’t into. He managed to tell himself that he was missing out on the rockstar lifestyle because he had someone waiting for him back home.

“Yea,” Tyler chuckled, strumming a bright melody, “I guess I still have a week to see how things work out.”

+

A few days had passed since Shawn’s day with Tyler and the moments before tour were ticking down. As he sat in his living room floor writing tags for his suitcases, marker cap between his white teeth, Shawn focused on using his neatest handwriting.

Shawn could practically hear your voice in the back of his head, remembering how you would always complain about his handwriting and inability to draw something as simple as a heart. You would always help him with the luggage tags anyway, so Shawn didn’t mind your teasing. He didn't realize how much he hated packing alone until he was sitting by himself, no one near to coax his worries for the next part of tour. 

It would be almost four months and half since Shawn has last seen you, but it was as if his love for you never died. You were intertwined in all of his best memories and every time he tried to rid of them, he seemed to be unravelling himself.

He wanted to call you so many times after that night in the hotel, but he shot himself down every time. As much as he wanted to beg you for your forgiveness and to give him another chance, Shawn told himself he’d wait until he could say it in person. 

He kept your note in the back of his phone and would read it when the pressure was all too much. He practically had the note memorized at this point but despised himself for doing so because it would always lead him to wonder if he was on your mind as much as you were on his. 

Shawn tells himself he hasn’t tried reaching out to you in person because you probably hate him, but knew it was really because he’d hate himself more for letting you go if he saw you again. Eventually, even Shawn’s team became tired of seeing him mope around and persuaded him to make amends before the American tour.

Finishing up with the last of his packing, Shawn made for his car. Earlier, he had called in for an order of flowers, nearly buying out all of the store’s pink carnations. According to the flower shop, they were great apology flowers and symbolized ‘undying love,’ which Shawn saw as fitting.

Shawn knew forgiveness from you would not be as easy as some flowers, but he felt obligated to do this to let you know he still cared. He wanted —no, needed— to let you know that he had made the wrong choice and that you were still the one for him. Shawn couldn’t get over you without at least knowing that he tried to make things better.

Pushing through the door to the hole-in-the-wall flower shop, the subtle aroma of flowers immediately filled Shawn’s senses. His mind couldn’t help but take him back to all of the times he came here to get you flowers, the sickly sweet smell suddenly going pungent at the thought.

“Shawn! I have your flowers right in the back, so let me go get them,” Brenda, a middle-aged woman greeted, already making her way to the carnations he had ordered the day before.

While waiting, Shawn made sure his button up was perfect and hair shaped. He planned to come by to your house later that day to try and to explain himself in hopes that you’d still be willing to talk to him. Shawn didn’t bother rehearsing any words, though because he knew he’d forget them as soon as he saw you.

He wondered if you’d look any different, pondered how much of your life he’d missed during his time away.

Shawn wondered if you ever cut your hair that you were too scared to chop off or if you ever got your ears pierced like you talked about before tour.

Wondered if you got that dog that you had wanted for so long. The same puppy that despite being allergic to dogs, Shawn nearly bought for you because he was addicted to seeing you happy. 

Brenda walked through the doors, arms full with the flowers. Shawn was quick to help her out as they walked to counter for him to pay.

“So, who’s the lucky girl?” Brenda curiously questioned. The question wasn't meant to be harmful, but it still tugged a little at Shawn’s heart.

“Um, well, she's actually my ex,” Shawn anxiously spoke, chuckling to lighten to situation.

Brenda’s luminous grin slightly faltered for a second before she nodded and swiped Shawn’s card. Wishing him good luck, Shawn thanked her for the flowers again before exiting the shop. 

Nervousness and fear flowed through Shawn’s veins as he set the last of his flowers in the back of his jeep. He didn’t know if he was making the right decision by coming to your house unannounced, but it was now or never.

Pulling up into your neighborhood, Shawn had to remind himself to take deep breaths. He had called your dad in advance to make sure you were home, to which you luckily were. Although your dad knew you were no longer with the singer, he still treated Shawn like family. Shawn even contemplated why your dad was so nice to him, curious if you ever told him how he really broke up with you.

As he rounded the turn onto your street, Shawn scrunched his eyebrows as he saw you already standing at front of your door. Eyes moving around your surroundings as he neared your house, he noticed that you weren’t alone. Although the boy’s back was turned to Shawn, he could see your glimmering eyes laugh at what must’ve been a joke the boy told.

You looked good. No, you looked drop dead gorgeous. Although you didn’t look drastically different, your features seemed to mature, eyes bright nonetheless.

Shawn was quick to recognize the black hoodie and skinny jeans from earlier this week as none other than Tyler’s. His hair looked more neat than the last time Shawn saw him, a bouquet of red roses was tucked behind his back.

By now, Shawn had parked his car a few houses away though you and Tyler were seemingly too preoccupied to notice. His heart continued to race as confusion mixed with the uneasy feeling in his body.

What happened to the girl Tyler was going to ask out? How did he know you?

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as each excruciating second pricked at Shawn’s heart. Tyler, as if on cue, leaned in as his lips met yours. Shawn’s rapidly beating heart seemed to shatter and drop to the pit of his stomach all at once. Everything around him suddenly felt too real as he took in the unveiling scene in front of him.

You were the girl Tyler was going to ask out. The same girl who came off of a bad breakup, the same one Tyler couldn’t seem to stop talking about. 

Shawn wanted to look away, but he couldn’t stop from noticing your smile that felt two times wider than he’s ever seen. He wanted to scream, wanted to throw away all of the flowers he had stuffed in his backseat. 

He needed something to distract him from the fact that he was simply too late. You had moved on with someone that wasn't Shawn.

It felt as if you and Tyler had been kissing for minutes now, though in reality, it lasted for only a fraction of that. Shawn watched from afar as Tyler’s hand rested on your hip like Shawn’s used to. He watched you put your hand along Tyler chest, heart sinking when he noticed you were no longer wearing your ring. He didn’t expect you to keep wearing it after things ended, but he didn’t expect for its disappearance to hurt so much either.

Leaning back into his seat, Shawn felt the irony of how he was the one that suggested seeing other people, yet he ended up being the lonely one in the end. As selfish as it sounded, Shawn wanted to let you know that no one could love you like he could. Watching Tyler give you the bundle of roses he had, Shawn wished he had just come to you sooner. Shawn wanted to run to you and get on his knees for forgiveness, but he was finally seeing your smile that he had longed to see.

It was hard to be completely upset when all Shawn wanted was to know that you were happy, yet he couldn’t suppress the overwhelming sadness. His vision clouded with the tears he was all too familiar with.

While Shawn was wondering if you would look any different, he should’ve been wondering how things would be different if he never let you go. He should’ve been wondering how dumb he was to think you’d want him back after what he said.

Shawn was ready to give you the world, yet you had already found your own with someone new.

feedback would be greatly appreciated!

+taglist:

@pinkanddepressed @softshawns @nocturnalmendes @mendesruin @itsabouttymeee @illuminatedestiny @mutual-shawn @ashtonwahs @everydaymendes @spn-marvel-nerd @ironfurycollector @kobeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee @ourlittleshawnie @ashwarren32 @super-fire-breathing-girl

[gravityfallenuniverse-blog]

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