#this was my first spotify wrapped EVER and i was so disappointed :(

[scarlettfevor]

I never used to listen to spotify on my laptop because it has ads even though it doesn't on my phone, but for some reason for the past 2 days I haven't gotten any ads at all??? Like I've tried a bunch of stuff but none are showing up. Yesterday I listened to like 40 songs on my laptop and got 0 ads,,, idk what's happening but I'm not going to question it

[delicatebarness]

cry baby | chapter eleven

Summary: “You’re the heart of the family, Sweetheart.”

Warning: Fluff. Crying, it's Cry Baby after all.

Word Count: 1572

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A/N: I'm so so so sorry. Please feel free to leave feedback or let me know where and how you want the story to continue, this is just as much yours as it is mine. - B

Tags: buckys0whore | @thezombieprostitute | @lanabuckybarnes | @mishkatelwarriorgoddess | @softieekayy | @noonespecial90 | @hello-therree | @randomawesomeperson102 | @whoreforbarnes | @thejutvtsupport | @somnorvos | @cjand10

About a week passed since the latest bar incident, and life had slowly begun to return to normal. Rumlow wasn’t embarrassed to show his face around the bar anymore and everyone stopped staring at you and whispering when you walked in. 

Tonight, you decided to head back to the bar again. The familiar establishment was filled with the usual crowds, creating a lively atmosphere. Your friends greeted you with warm smiles and hugs. 

The conversation flowed easily, yet as the night went on, you began to notice once again that everyone in your friendship group was wearing their matching ‘Avengers’ leather jackets. You hadn’t gotten one, and it always made you feel a bit left out, a pang of sadness tugged at your heart. 

Bucky was the first to notice the sudden shift in your demeanor. “Something on your mind?” he asked, his knee nudged against yours gently under the table. 

You hesitated, looking up at him. “It’s silly, really,” you paused, taking a deep breath. “But, I can’t help feeling a bit… left out, I guess.” 

He furrowed his brow, concern flickered in his eyes. “Left out? Why?” 

You glanced up toward the ceiling, trying to stop the tears from flowing, you felt foolish for even having these thoughts never mind speaking them. “It’s just… you’re wearing your jackets, and I don’t have one. At least, not my own.” 

“That’s not silly,” Bucky replied. He reached his hand under the table, rubbing his thumb over the exposed skin of your thigh. “I get it, you want it to look like you’re apart of the group, not just seen with us?” 

You met his gaze, giving him a small nod. He squeezed your thigh while sending you a smile. “Well, then. I think I have a solution.” 

Before you could respond, he stood up and shrugged the jacket off his shoulders. “Here,” he said, holding it out to you. “Now you match.” 

You shook your head, surprised by his gesture. “Bucky, I can’t take your jacket.” 

He hesitated for a short moment, disappointment flashed over his eyes before he shook his head back at you. “Consider it a loan, just until we get you one of your own.” 

You held up your pinky finger, forgetting where you both were for a moment. Your pinky promises had never happened in front of anyone else but each other. Only ever in your apartment, never in public. 

Yet, his pinky finger tangled itself with yours. “Thank you,” you said softly, accepting the jacket and draping it over your shoulders. That familiar scent envelops you, like a protective embrace. 

“Anything for you, Sweetheart,” he said, widening his smile before taking a sip of his beer. As he did, his muscles became defined by the dim light of the bar. Shadows cast over them, accentuating their contours. You found yourself gazing at his arms for a lingering moment, as though you were seeing them for the first time. 

~

A couple of days later, as you were getting ready for an evening at home, you heard a knock on your door. You stopped what you were doing instantly, opening the door slightly to see who it was. No one was there, yet you found a small wooden box sitting on the doormat. Intrigued, you picked it up and examined it closely. 

The box was beautifully crafted, with familiar delicate cravings adoring the cedar. You traced your fingers over the patterns. Inside the box, there was a note attached to a wrapped parcel, written in Bucky’s handwriting. 

Opening the note, you read it carefully. It simply said, “You’re the heart of the family, Sweetheart.” 

Tears welled up in your eyes as you kept rereading the note. It was a simple message, but it meant more to you than your emotions could let you express. With a shaky breath, you unwrapped the parcel and found a soft, cozy, pastel pink cardigan neatly folded. 

As you inspect the cardigan, you notice the patches on the back, taking your breath away. 

You ran your fingers over the embroidered designs, tracing the outline of each patch: the Avengers logo, that you sketched years before, and your initials. The tears that were previously welling now spilled down your cheeks. 

With trembling hands, you reached for your phone and pressed Bucky’s name. As the call connected, his face appeared on the screen, immediately softening when he saw you. 

“What’s wrong, Sweetheart?” his voice filled with concern as he noticed your puffy eyes and flushed cheeks. 

“I just…” you tried to find your words between hiccups. “I just wanted to… I wanted to thank you for the cardigan. It’s… it’s perfect.” 

Relief washed over his face, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I’m glad you like it,” he said softly. “I thought you’d feel more comfortable with a cardigan than a leather.” 

Looking at him through the screen, you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice catching in your throat.

You took a deep breath after the call with Bucky ended, taking the note, you made your way to the kitchen. Carefully you attached the note to the door of your fridge. It felt like an important reminder. 

Stepping back to admire the note, you wrapped the cardigan tighter around you.

~

A few days later, you were settling into your nightly routine, getting ready for bed, before another knock at your door. You hesitated to answer it, yet another knock came with a ‘It’s me,’ mumbling behind the door. 

Answering it, you found Bucky standing on the other side, looking worse for wear again. 

“Dare I ask?” you asked, making room for him to enter as concern filled your eyes and a small frown tugged at your lips. 

He shook his head as he made his way to his usual seat at your dining table. “Just a little scrap, nothing serious,” he replied, giving you a weak smile. 

You weren’t convinced, it was never just ‘a little scrap’ when Bucky was concerned. “Let me take a look,” you insisted as you made your way into the kitchen to fetch your first aid kit. 

As you worked on tending to his wounds, cleaning and bandaging his knuckles, his gaze froze and fixated on something behind you. “Wait, who is this?” he asked, his voice filled with confusion as he stood, making his way over to where he had looked.

You turned to see what he was looking at, you blinked feeling a rush of guilt wash over you.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about?” you said, trying to play it cool as you reached out to take the tiny white kitten from his arms. 

He raised an eyebrow at you, his expression skeptical. He moved the kitten out of your reach. “Sweetheart, the cat? The cat I am very clearly holding…” he trailed off, his eyes narrowed at you. 

“There’s no cat here, Bucky,” you replied, trying to keep a straight face. And, still trying to reach the kitten.

Bucky started at you for a moment, an unreadable expression over his features. “Are you okay?” he asked, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. 

You glanced around nervously, a pang of guilt rushed through you for keeping the truth from him. “I, um, I’m not allowed to have pets here, but I couldn’t say no to her…” you whispered in a rush. 

His eyes softened. “You are the sweetest thing,” he said, a smile playing on his lips. “But, wait… does that mean? Little Miss Rogers… the cities Cry Baby… my Sweetheart? Are you breaking a rule?” he added with a mocking gasp and a teasing tone. 

You nodded sheepishly, a flush of heat creeping up your cheeks. “I know, I know,” you replied, avoiding his gaze. “I couldn't just leave her.” 

Bucky shook his head, “Well, I won’t tell if you don’t,” he admitted, the hand he wasn’t using to hold the kitten reaching out to cup your cheek. 

~

As the night began and ran into the early morning, you and Bucky found yourselves lost in conversation, the kitten purring between the pair of you on the couch. Amidst the laughter and the warmth of each other’s presence, there was a subtle shift in the air. 

Bucky tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered as he looked at you, the way your glossy eyes sparkled with excitement over any small gesture the kitten did. He couldn’t deny the surge of affection washing over him, he had an overwhelming urge to reach out and pull your face toward his. 

He wanted to hold onto this moment, but he knew he couldn’t. As painful as it was to admit to himself, he knew he had to leave. 

Bucky stood up from the couch, forcing a smile as he tried to hide the rage inside him. “It’s getting late,” he said softly, “I should probably head home.” 

Confusion and a hint of sadness flickered across your face, you assumed he would have been spending the night at your apartment, like the majority of the nights recently. “Oh, okay… I guess you’re right,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. 

As he made his way to your door, he paused a moment of hesitation before turning back to look at you. “Goodnight, Sweetheart.” 

You smiled weakly, a lump forming in your throat as you watched him leave. “Goodnight, Bucky.” 

---

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[pinkberrytea]

midnight blue 🌙

Round, radiant and casting a creamy white halo, the moon stands before them proudly, imposingly, a celestial pearl in a sea of stars.

Diana may be too perceptive for her own good, but Astarion is no less insightful; he has a suprise for her, one she will not soon forget.

Spawn Astarion x Named F!Tav (Diana)

w/c: 1.5k words . spotify playlist . dividers

a/n: happy new year! this fic is a gift for @amoremagnificentbastard as part of our server's secret santa exchange. i was so excited that i got to write for diana, but also pretty intimidated since i feel like that's a huge responsibility! i hope i was able to do her justice. if you haven't read amy's distarion fics, please do yourself a favor and go read them already, i promise you won't be disappointed! i'd like to again thank @xxnashiraxx for her invaluable support; she was there holding my hand ever since the drafting stages, and i couldn't have done this without her. i love you friendo!

tags: hurt & comfort; fluff & angst

“How much farther, Astarion? I’m freezing,” the young priestess says, arms wrapped around herself in an unsuccessful effort to shield her shivering body from the harsh winter cold. Her coppery curls bounce with each step, the late night silence broken only by the howling wind and the crunch of snow underfoot. What was she thinking, indulging him when he insisted that they go on a “light hike”? Although in truth, denying him never came to her naturally, and it only seemed to become harder with every passing day; not that he made things any easier, but the amount of incentive required for Diana to submit to her lover’s whims had dropped to dangerously low levels in the past few months, much to her dismay.

“We’re almost there, darling.” Astarion’s face creases into a smuggish simper, and he stops, holding out a hand while waiting for her to catch up to him. “I thought you had snowfall in Amn?” he asks, voice laced with a playful lilt and eyebrows quirked upwards in feigned surprise. Diana pouts, forehead wrinkling with annoyance, acquiescing though begrudgingly and intertwining her fingers with his outstretched ones; as soon as she does, he pulls her to him and sneaks an arm around her shoulders, which doesn’t really help with the cold considering his own lack of natural heat, and yet the familiarity of his embrace brings her comfort anyway.

“We do. Just not like this,” she mutters, her softening frown betraying the disgruntled tone with which the words leave her lips. He plants a loving kiss on her temple before picking up the pace, and it doesn’t take long for the indigo sky to start peeking out through the dense foliage of the towering trees surrounding them, adorned with a glimmering blanket of twinkling stars.

“There. Just behind that rock,” Astarion says, pointing to the rocky outcrop at the end of the path they’d been following. Diana scrunches up her nose, disdain crafting her cerulean irises into a frustrated stare, but before she can protest, he squeezes her arm reassuringly and meets her gaze with rounded, almost pleading eyes. “You trust me, don’t you?”

The priestess is briefly taken aback, blinking slowly as if thinking of what to say; once enough time has passed, she lets out an exasperated sigh, hunching in defeat. “I do. You know I do. But gods, Astarion, climbing a rock? In the middle of the night? In this weather? That’s a big ask even for me,” she retorts, brushing her hair to one side, though the warmth radiating from her voice and the subtle smile tugging at the corners of her mouth tell a different story—one where he emerges victorious.

“I know, sweet girl. Thank the gods I have such a patient, understanding lover, hm?” he purrs, clearly pleased with himself. Diana sighs again, and without first shooting him a disapproving glance, she lets him guide her to the base of the rugged boulder. The night is bright enough that even her human eyes are able to make out all the ridges and crevices she’s supposed to use as leverage to reach the top, but still, Astarion steps forward and takes the lead, pulling her up as he slowly claws his way to the summit.

“Careful, darling.” Taking her hand in his, he watches her feet to make sure she’s keeping herself steady. The phantoms of days past rush through her mind as they inch closer to their intended destination, and in the minutes that follow, it’s as if they’re still lost in the wilderness with a mind flayer tadpole lodged within the recesses of their brains, a promise of ceremorphosis that would never come to be. They had climbed many a rock back then, though never during the night—their life together in the sun now feels like a distant dream, a wistful memory. 

“Do you ever regret it?” Diana asks, her voice small, hushed, no louder than a whisper; they both lie naked in their shared bed, Astarion with his pectorals pressed flat against her back, one arm folded possessively around her hip. The sunlight casts dancing shadows from behind the tightly drawn curtains, almost teasingly, caressing the pure white sheets with ghostly brushes of its long, splaying fingers. His closed eyes twitch in acknowledgement of her question, but he remains quiet for a while; when she is finally convinced he has fallen back into a trance, he then suddenly breaks the silence, cold lips vibrating against the warm skin of her shoulder as he speaks.

“Regret what, darling?” The tone with which he articulates each word is remarkably gentle, tentative, even. She doesn’t reply immediately, trying to first contend with the inevitable pang in her chest, searching for the source of it, much as it eludes her. This happiness, this halcyon bliss, why does she think herself not entitled to it? Why does it cause such guilt to bloom in the depths of her heart? No matter how many times he reassures her, it seems her soul can’t be so easily swayed—they did the right thing, of that there is no doubt, but none of it holds any weight when she isn’t the one struggling with the consequences; when he’s the one sentenced to spend the rest of his days in darkness, never again to feel the sun on his face, never again to feels its soothing heat. 

“Nothing. Forget it.” And just like that, Diana once more closes that door before it’s even opened. Truth be told, she’s terrified she won’t be able to seal it back shut; she’s terrified that whatever is hiding behind it will cause her fragile reverie to shatter into a thousand pieces, crumble into dust and dissolve in the ground beneath her feet. She’s afraid, so afraid—of losing him, of losing them, of losing everything.

Everything.

“My love?”

The silky sound of Astarion’s voice brings Diana back to the present, and she jerks her head up to look at him, eyes large and mouth slightly agape. With an eyebrow raised quizzically, he chooses to shrug her reaction off rather than dwell on it, propping himself with both arms to finally leap over the edge of the boulder; he then helps her do the same, and before long the two are standing on the highest point of the hill, hands still locked together.

“So? What do you think?” Astarion asks, staring at her expectantly, appearing almost boyish for a few fleeting moments. She returns his gaze with confusion coloring her expression, but shortly afterwards, his meaning at last becomes clear—a quick turn of her face reveals the reason why they have hiked all the way up to this place, and no sooner than such revelation is brought to light, Diana feels the threat of tears prickle her long lashes.

The full moon.

“By the Moonmaiden’s grace, Astarion… it’s beautiful,” she whispers, bringing a hand to her own quivering lips. Round, radiant and casting a creamy white halo, the moon stands before them proudly, imposingly, a celestial pearl in a sea of stars. It shines so intensely that the landscape splaying below them is fully visible to the naked eye, every tree, every stream, every stone and every flower laid completely bare, stripped from their shadowy secrets. It’s the wee hours, and yet it might as well be noon.

“You know, darling, when you made no mention of the usual request for a pint of milk with the full moon quickly approaching, I really began to worry.” Though his mouth curls up into a smirk, Astarion speaks with apologetic softness, his crimson irises gleaming affectionately. Using his free hand, he tucks an unruly lock of auburn hair behind Diana’s ear; softly brushing the pads of his elegant fingers against her cheek, he then cups it gently, gazing upon her with dreamy tenderness. “Whatever is afflicting you, my dear, we can work through it together. You need not keep it to yourself.”

The tears welling up in the priestess’ eyes finally roll down her now flushed face, leaving a glistening wet trail in their wake. Of course, how could she have been so foolish? Words are not required—she understands it now. One has no need for the sun when they are loved by the moon; one has no need for sunshine when they have the pale, forgiving glow of the Lady of Silver’s moonbeams illuminating the path forward. Astarion is not sentenced to live in darkness—not while Diana remains by his side, not while she is there to bathe him in light, warmth, and life.

Life. With everything it has to offer. 

“I love you.”

Their lips touch before their eyelids close, and for a split second they’re each able to see the tiny flecks floating around the others’ pupils, swimming in pools of blood and moonlight. Diana wraps her arms around Astarion’s neck, and he wraps his around her waist; her tears taste salty on his tongue, his breath feels cool against her skin. The winter moon watches them warmly from its place amid the stars, cradling them in its soft embrace; it’s going to be okay. They’re going to be okay. Maybe not forever—maybe not even for long, but right now, all is well, and so it shall remain, until dawn breaks, painting the sky midnight blue.

[anticidic]

43 + kunizai for the spotify wrapped ask game thingy :3

#43: 0 (zero) English ver. — LMYK

Was it you who I’ve been searching for? Spent my life alone and waited for? So tenderly and endlessly You made me whole, you made me whole Was it you who I heard through the door? When I cried and had no place to go? I’ll never believe I’m alone In the end we begin ‘til we meet again You made me whole, you made me whole

(Beast!Kunikida + Beast!Dazai)

The hammer of a gun clicked.

And aimed itself at Dazai.

Not the first time it happened, but now the second time in less than a week Dazai found himself staring down the barrel of someone who should’ve been his friend. But that was in another world and not here. He wanted to lean forward and press his head against the cold metal, pray for Kunikida to pull the trigger and make it simply end. In another world, Kunikida would’ve chided him for saying such a stupid thing.

Here, with the hatred that burned in Kunikida’s gaze, Dazai was pretty sure he would act upon that threat—and wouldn’t think twice.

“You. Again.” The grip Kunikida had on his gun was shaky. As if the idea of gunning down the leader of their enemy was but a figment of his imagination, and now here in the flesh, he didn’t know how to react without crumbling. His stare of disbelief was replaced by an unwavering glare. “You’re back again. You’ve come to antagonize me now, or what? Leave! You’ve bothered Akutagawa and Oda enough, and if the president would give me the word, this conversation would never have happened.”

Dazai remembered his own gun tucked safely away in his coat pocket. In the blink of an eye, he could have it out, but then they would be at a standstill with the pressing question burning between them: who had the courage to pull the trigger first?

It took a true kingsman to summon the will to face reality in all its darkness. To stare straight into the abyss and do what needed to be done. It also took a true kingsman to suffocate under the crushing weight of a crown he never wanted but was forced upon him.

Only two others could know of the intricacies of their little world here. Dazai had it carefully planned out and his fated ones chosen ever since he took leadership. No, that wasn’t right. Even before that. Before eighteen, before he tossed Akutagawa aside for his sister. Those two did not include Kunikida, and it pained Dazai. With how Kunikida looked at him, wanting to scream at him to go away—to go away for good and leave everyone alone six feet under where Dazai belonged—Dazai wanted to scream back.

In another life, they were not on opposite sides like this. They had each other’s backs through thick and thin: through Yokohama’s almost total annihilation twice over and through their enemies that threatened to sever the agency. Now they were enemies. They still fought for the city’s peace, but Dazai had become public enemy number one in this world.

Forcing out a chuckle through that terrible thought, Dazai slid his hands into his pockets and stepped closer. Any closer and cold metal would touch him. Until Kunikida took a step back with every one of Dazai’s that went forward. “I suppose I should’ve expected my warm welcome to be having a gun pointed at me, but it’s still disappointing when I mean no harm.” He removed his hands and held them out in front of him, tilting his head slightly. “Unless you plan on shooting me right here and right now, your threat is empty and meaningless to me. Besides, it’s easier for me to talk to you without a gun between us. What if you…miss? Then what, Kunikida-kun—”

“Don’t call me that,” Kunikida snapped back and aimed the gun at Dazai’s forehead. “You will never be welcome here. I only agreed to meet with you because I wanted answers and suspected that you had been planning something for a while now. I know all about the subordinates you sent after the agency. Akutagawa’s sibling that you hold over his head…the meeting you tricked Oda into. All of it! You’re not a friend.” The gun shook and he bared his teeth in a scowl. “You’ll never be. So long as you’re the Port Mafia’s boss, you’re forever a problem that needs to be watched. You, your underboss, all the executives. Every last one of them.”

“What if I told you there’s someone much worse than me out there?” Dazai steeled his nerves and stood tall despite the agony that welled up in his chest and threatened to burst. It was Oda all over again, and somehow more personal. He could take a rejection. He took several in his time since he was a kid. But he couldn’t take rejections that caused constant deaths in the heart. Only a little longer, he rationalized. Only a little longer until curtain call and the final plan was set in motion.

Then he’d be gone from the world.

“Somewhere…at some point in time…horrible things happened to our city. And to all the people in it. There’s someone who seeks to destroy and rebuild the world from the ground up, and we’re all just a bunch of mass casualties of that vision.”

“I have no reason to believe anything you say.” Kunikida narrowed his eyes and moved the gun slightly off to the side. “I’ve heard of no such threats, and you’re telling me someone will destroy the entire world?”

“And it’s coming soon—a few days, tops. A devil in disguise. You could shoot me, and we’ll all be doomed here, too.” Dazai reached out and pushed the gun aside. He noticed Kunikida’s grip tighten as he reluctantly lowered it to his side. A slight smile played on Dazai’s lips. A tiny victory even if a giant chasm stood between them. They couldn’t be friends, but it was something.

“Is that supposed to be your reasoning for tormenting half the agency—that there’s someone out there worse than you? Because it sounds exactly like something I would expect someone from a criminal organization to say to explain away the blood on their hands.”

“And how many of yours have blood on their hands?” Dazai shot back. “We do what needs to be done, for the benefit of Yokohama. Isn’t that right?” Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply and opened them again, expression softening. “You say you don’t believe me, but I’m glad you heard me out, at least. …You haven’t changed.” Turning away, Dazai heard fabric rustle and an annoyed grunt, no longer feeling the killing urge radiate from Kunikida.

It was replaced with frustration. And a sort of defeat.

“May we meet again in a kinder life, Kunikida-kun.”

Spotify Ask Game!

[kylobith]

Little Town Tails

Chapter 7: A Frog in his Throat

Summary: Halsin investigates Gortash's interest in Heawick but finds himself confronted with a rather disappointing thought instead.

Ship/Pairing: Halsin x Fem!Tav

Trope: Modern AU, Meet-cute, Little countryside town, Cosy

Word count: 4,418

Read it on Ao3 here

Listen to the dedicated playlist on Spotify here

‘This is bad news, I’m telling you!’

Melly stands by the bakery’s door, wrapped up in a colourful cardigan whose hems she tucks under her arms. Disgruntled by the mention of Gortash, she readjusts her pink glasses on her wrinkled nose.

‘I’ve read about him and his kind,’ she continues without waiting for Halsin to respond, ‘all they want is to deface our villages to bring hordes of tourists that will thrash the place! No more little shops and old markets! It’ll be the same thing a hundred times over in case one milks the cash cow less than the next!’

‘Do you know if anything has been sold to him?’ he asks with a tremor in his voice, settling himself by petting Scratch’s head behind the ears. In an instant, the white dog leans against his leg, as though to bring him some much needed comfort.

The elderly lady merely gives him a shrug.

‘That, I do not know. He came here the other day too, probably when you told him off. My son, that people pleaser, didn't dare kick the man out. I had to do it for him! Good thing that I’m still overlooking things, otherwise he would have sold the bakery there and then!’

A nervous grin crosses his face, but his mind is not at rest. How could it be, when his practice, his cherished project he has put so much passion into, might potentially be threatened? Ever since Karlach showed him articles about Gortash, he has been struggling to sleep at night. He tosses and turns, wondering what he could do to protect Emerald Grove from being sold. More than once, as soon as his eyes grow weary and his lids heavy, the first thing he sees is his keys being wrestled out of his hands and the animals thrown out onto the street. That wakes him up instantly in a cold sweat.

Apparently, this same anguish must be haunting his traits again, because Melly gently squeezes his arm — at least what she can grab of it.

‘Now, do not worry yourself so much, Halsin. Nothing’s settled. That cockroach was merely lurking around but maybe he hasn’t found anything worth chewing on.’

‘I just…’ The veterinarian lets out a heavy sigh and rubs his large palm over his face.

‘I do not want to lose my practice, I have only just opened! I saved every coin I could for years to fulfil this dream. I have no intention to let the big corporation seize it away for their own gain when I know that I am helping the community.’

‘Oh love, they will not. The community will not let them, I am sure!’

Before Halsin can protest or voice his concern further, Melly raises a finger and disappears inside the bakery for a moment, leaving the veterinarian and his dog standing by the queue of hungry locals taking a break from the market. Noticing that he is tapping his foot and clenching his jaw hard enough that the hint of a cramp seizes him, he forces himself to relax and crouches to hug Scratch. Absolutely elated, the dog wags his tail enthusiastically and sniffs the man’s cheek, giving it some playful licks which bring a genuine smile back to his lips.

Perhaps Melly is right. There is no need for him to get himself in such a state as long as no shop or space has been sold to Gortash or anyone of his kind. Heawick is still what it is, authentic and tranquil, unbothered by the bustling crowds. Those who come usually know the place already or know a bunch of souls that have claimed it as their home. Names are easily remembered and recognised, shouted with excitement at one’s sight, accompanied by warm greetings and small talk. Surely, nobody would allow this haven to turn decrepit under the malicious fingers of a business mogul.

As Scratch licks Halsin’s chin, triggering a gentle chuckle from the man, Melly emerges from inside the bakery with a small paper bag she hands over to him. With a quizzical glance, he peers inside and sees four of his favourite pastries carefully nestled at the bottom. He instantly pats his pocket in search of his wallet.

‘How kind of you! Let me see… How much do I owe you?’

‘Oh, love, nothing!’

Melly pats his hand cradling the bag and grants him a reassuring grin, typical of a coddling grandmother.

‘You’re pale and tense, darling,’ she continues, ‘you must eat something, at least for comfort. Perhaps you should clear your mind by taking a walk with Scratch?’

Halsin sighs and ends up mirroring her smile. She is right, there is no use dwelling over this. There is no certainty that Gortash and his plans are a threat to Heawick just yet. Unless one of the shops is sold, the thought of which he is sure the owners would not entertain, there is no worry to be had. Besides, as Melly and Arfer often remind him, there had been a dire need for a veterinarian’s office in the area before Emerald Grove opened. Until then, even for emergencies, owners had to drive their pets at least half an hour to the city to receive care for them. Emerald Grove is a valued place in the neighbouring villages, perhaps this alone could put his mind at rest.

‘Good idea,’ he sighs, eyeing the pastries a second time. ‘Nothing like a long walk in nature to clear your mind.’

‘Good boy!’

Her validation tugs at his lips and lights up his gloomy eyes. They exchange a few pleasantries, then Scratch nudges his owner, having understood that a walk was in order. Munching on one of the little fruit pastries, he returns home to fetch the dog’s leash, treats, and a roll of small bags to clean up after Scratch should he relieve himself before they reach the forest. He tucks the rest of the pastries away in a cool corner of his kitchen to keep them fresh until his return and sits down on the edge of his sofa to slip into more comfortable shoes to walk in the woods.

As he ties up his shoelaces, his mind inevitably wanders to the one memory that brings him any solace in the storm of anxiety.

Tav.

He could not explain why his mind is filled with images of her, of her smile and the slight blush peppering the bridge of her nose whenever she looks at him. He thinks nothing of it, of course. Why should he? She is merely a patient’s owner, and he is certain that once Beaky’s paw is healed, she will no longer seek his help. Yet, despite his best effort, he cannot help but let her invade and haunt his mind. The phantom of her presence, albeit not as satisfying as seeing her in the flesh can be, remains quite soothing to his soul. It is harmless, after all, isn’t it? He is not acting upon anything. No need to question his ethics, there is no ill intent behind any of this daydreaming, and his reflections are nothing but respectful to her.

When he and Scratch reach the edge of the forest, they come across Minsc and stay for a minute or two to talk. Seeing how committed the ranger is to the forest — and to Jaheira’s flower shop — Halsin guesses that the gentle giant is blissfully unaware of Gortash and decides against telling him about it. No need to trouble him. He would probably ignore the situation anyway or misunderstand his worries. Should anything happen, the ranger would eventually be informed of it.

Once Minsc walks away to his office, waving vigorously at the veterinarian and Scratch, the dog pulls his owner towards the forest, eager to continue their stroll.

Secluded from the bustling marketplace, the forest seems more appealing than ever to him. The sun’s rays sparkle upon the lofty branches of the oak trees and filter through the green leaves. Dancing haloes illuminate the roots protruding from the cool earth, revealing the hundreds of tiny insects fluttering about. Beds of foxgloves and poppies surround and dot the woodland, adding bright colours to compliment the green of the leaves and the browns of the barks. Beyond the opposite fringe, the fields constituting the typical landscape of the region roll towards the horizon, with their crops finally reaching out towards the sky, readying themselves for blooming and reaping.

Scratch dashes between the trees, his tongue lolling out happily as he hops over the roots and taps his paws on the dead leaves and plants coating the ground as he waits for his owner to catch up with him. Halsin, with his hands resting against the small of his back, ambles behind with the leash rolled loosely around his wrist and whistling an old tune. As soon as he finds himself beside the dog, he grants him a small tasty treat.

When they near a clearing, some loose tresses of his brown mane flutter in the light breeze reaching him. Closing his eyes and smiling to himself, he hums and tilts his chin up, welcoming the fresh air embracing his face. The past few days have been rather warm for spring, a little gust always makes a difference, even for a fleeting second.

A nudge against his calf alerts him that Scratch is eager to move on. Halsin eyes the grass and hums with satisfaction when he finds a sturdy piece of a broken branch between the blades. He picks it up, throws it ahead, and laughs when the pup sprints to fetch it.

As Halsin watches him gnaw at the wood, he realises how ideal his life has come to be. Back in other villages and towns, life was not nearly as sweet. Too many circumstances and hostile environments smothered him and prevented him from living his life as he wished to. But now that the practice is open and that he has moved into a beautiful quaint house in a friendly community, he feels that he can be himself more than ever. Not that he let outsiders influence his personality much, but he did feel hindered by the norms and expectations of the people who surrounded him back then.

Now, he has built a little world within the confines of his house and practice, and he finally gets to set his own rules and conventions. They are not meant to impede on the well-being of his friends and visitors, but rather to let everyone be who they are without being confined to a precise etiquette. To him, it is rather simple: if you intend to do well by others and nature, then you are most welcome into his world and you can be whoever you are without being shamed for it. If not, then he will do his best to help you, but he will put his foot down and exclude you should your actions cause any harm to anyone.

In a way, that might be why his weariness of Astarion lingers. While his new recruit has not openly done anything to wrong him or any of his neighbours, his professional ‘accomplishments’ and the reason that pushed him into community service certainly do not help Halsin’s perception of him. Neither does his tendency to gossip. However, due to Karlach’s undying loyalty and constant praise of Astarion’s qualities, he keeps his heart open to the vampire. Whether the latter decides to seize the chance is up to him and him alone. Should he refuse and merely complete the hours of community service required to lift his suspension is also fine by him.

Overall, Halsin remains satisfied with his choice to move to Heawick. The open spaces and community have been nothing but warm to him and his beloved Scratch. How else could he repay them than by offering his help to the people in return, at the very least?

Long minutes of solemn contemplation later, Halsin takes the stick from the dog and raises his arm. Just as he readies himself to throw it, the laughter of a child interrupts him. He instantly whistles for Scratch to come at his feet so he can attach the leash to the dog’s collar. Clutching the colourful rope, he straightens up and sweeps the forest to look for the child he heard earlier and make sure to keep his distance if Scratch’s presence triggers any fear within them.

A moment later, a githyanki child emerges from between the trees, flushed from running through the woods. A large smile digs little dimples into his green cheeks dotted with black spots. His curious yellow eyes admire the height of the treetops and a gasp escapes the little boy as he spins around, as if to capture it from different angles.

The boy’s elation comes to a sharp halt as he realises that he is not alone. Sheepishness instantly seizes him and causes him to take a few steps back. His heel catches into a small rock and the child topples over, landing heavily on his buttocks in a loud thump and crunch of the leaves. Wasting no time to intervene, Halsin attaches Scratch’s leash around a low-hanging branch and rushes by the child’s side.

Tears flood the gith’s almond-shaped eyes and start to pour down his face as he lets out a howl of pain and shock. Halsin inspects his legs for any wound, but sees nothing.

‘Did your elbows hit the rock, child?’

Sniffling heavily, the child shakes his head and responds with heavy sobs. Since he sees no scrape or injury, Halsin helps the child up, gently lifting him off the ground and making sure that there is no discomfort as he moves.

‘Everything seems alright. More fear than harm,’ he attempts to reassure the child, patting his back to rid his jacket from dry leaves and dirt.

Right as he does so, hurried footsteps resound and a heavy breath fills the air, accompanied by the panicked shrill of a woman.

‘Trith!’

Halsin’s heart stops. He recognises the voice. A lump forms in his throat as he waves his hand in the air, trying to force a shout back.

‘Over here!’

Just as he suspected, Tav appears in turn and gasps at the sight of the crying child. Halsin steps back and lets her kneel by him, frantically investigating for wounds.

‘Trith, how many times must I tell you not to run off like that?!’ she scolds the boy, clutching him by the arms but demonstrating no hostility or aggression towards him. Before the child can answer, she pulls him into her arms and cradles the back of his head with a heavy sigh. ‘You scared me, darling.’

His sniffles and cries muffled by the fabric of her shirt soon die down as her presence soothes his anguish. Tav looks up and smiles at Halsin. The blush he pictured in his mind earlier expands to her whole face.

‘My apologies, Doctor Silverbough, I didn’t mean to put you in this position.’

‘No harm done, Miss Ashguard. He is safe, that is what matters.’

Tav nods slowly and pulls out a tissue to dry the boy’s tears.

‘Now, what happened, love?’

‘I fell. Tripped on the rock,’ Trith hiccups.

‘I must have surprised him,’ Halsin adds with a sorry expression, ‘I made sure to put Scratch on his leash as soon as I heard the child, but it seems that he was still taken aback that I stood here.’

Letting out a brief chuckle, she pulls out a crumpled bucket hat from her back pocket and screws it on Trith’s head, despite his weak protesting. Tav then faces Halsin again, picking up the boy and letting him rest his head on her shoulder as she tilts her hip to prop him up against her chest.

The sight unsettles Halsin. He could not explain why nor how. There is an alien sensation snaking into his veins and spreading throughout his body, numbing his fingertips with a dull pain. It is as though his heart is darkening at once, yet without resentment. The lump in his throat grows heavier, nearly choking him.

Children. Something he has considered for a long time, but never truly envisioned for himself. His career has always occupied a primary position in his life, one that he could not easily change. His projects for Emerald Grove constantly flooded his mind, which flourished with new ideas with almost every conversation he held. Little did he think about his own meals, let alone a family.

Besides, his plan to drastically change his life and environment would not have been ideal for a child. Uprooting a child, right when they are in their formative years, always resembled cruelty to him. Not if their parents could not help it, of course, every situation is different and he does not blame anybody for it. But as a conscious choice, which could only benefit the parents without any regard to whether the child would blossom into this new setting, Halsin could not fully support it. Perhaps he is old-fashioned in this way. After all, he catches himself reflecting, he knows next to nothing about raising children.

Could it be that the sight of Tav with her child suddenly makes him wish that he had settled down at some point and founded a family of his own? He loves the idea of a family, but as it happens with many others, he probably told himself that he had time for much too long. There he is, in his mid-forties, wondering about having children now that his situation is stable and his goals are met.

No. That is not it. In a way, it is, but it is not.

Is it regret? The venom of the idea that he might have missed out on life? Is it… envy? Then, as he is about to speak to break the awkward silence setting in, he sees her cupping her stomach with her free hand. The pain now rages in his chest and his fingertips.

All tender notions he had created for her vanish in an instant. Of all things he has considered, such as the moral dilemma of texting her out of the blue or even the mere idea of thinking about her, the fact that she might be taken was a criterion he overlooked. Not only taken, it seems. She is a mother, and this simple, gentle gesture towards her midriff hints at the fact that she might be pregnant again, only not showing just yet.

Good for her, he tells himself. She has got what he seems to have neglected in his life.

Halsin forces himself to smile at her and unties Scratch’s leash from the branch, bringing the dog over with him.

‘So, how is Beaky healing?’ he simply asks.

‘Rather well! Actually, I should hear about the conclusion of the lawsuit around our appointment.’

‘Should I set aside a bottle of bubbly wine to celebrate?’ Halsin teases in good humour.

‘Or to drown our sorrow,’ Tav jests in return, completely oblivious to the veterinarian’s inner turmoil. ‘I might bring one to the appointment.’

‘I will hold you to it, then!’

Her laughter resonates under the canopy of the leaves sheltering them from the rest of the world. For a moment, if not for Trith falling asleep on her shoulder for seemingly running around too long, he is happy here. But he cannot afford to feed himself illusions. He must maintain some professionalism between the two of them.

Tav places a kiss on the child’s forehead and pats his back.

‘I believe it’s time for us to head home,’ she whispers with a grin. ‘He needs a nap.’

‘You have yourselves a wonderful day, Miss Ashguard and Trith. I apologise for scaring the boy earlier.’

‘Oh, don’t apologise, doctor! He will be alright. Have a nice day yourself, and I will see you next week for the appointment.’

‘See you then, Miss Ashguard!’

Halsin nods at Tav and her son and turns around with Scratch at his feet, tossing a treat at the dog. Lost in thought, he hardly notices that he has reached Heawick until he stands in the middle of the pavement and nearly shoulders somebody. He shakes his head and takes a deep breath. It is time for him to let go of whatever is clouding his perception.

Instead of moping around, he shrugs the issue off and walks towards the market, reminding himself that he would like some fresh vegetables to make a delicious soup for himself in the evening. As he peruses the stalls and greets the sellers he already knows, a familiar silhouette appears in the corner of his eye.

Dressed down compared to his usual tweed suits and academic demeanour, Gale sings a tune under his breath while filling a net bag with nectarines and peaches. His plum-coloured polo shirt, left unbuttoned at the top, lets his chest hair peek out from underneath the fabric, and Halsin purses his lips, curious whether such a style would suit him as well outside of work.

Gale catches a glimpse of the veterinarian from above his sunglasses and he instantly lights up.

‘Halsin! What a pleasure to see you here! Enjoying the market as well, I see?’

The professor instantly holds out his hand and Halsin shakes it with equal enthusiasm.

‘I am, indeed! It seems that you are, too.’

Gale nods with a laugh and crouches to pet Scratch. A few groans escape him as he hears his knees cracking from the sole movement and from standing up again. He stretches his back with his hands on the back of his hips.

‘Oof, yet another reminder that my youth is fleeting away!’ he jokes. ‘So, how’s the practice doing? Do you manage to keep busy despite having just moved here?’

‘So far every day has been satisfying one way or another,’ Halsin reflects. ‘I could hope to see more patients coming in, but I suppose that fewer of them rushing to my office is a good sign.’

‘Hah, I suppose! Have you been able to use any of the shirts that Astarion’s been sewing?’

‘Plenty, in fact! Families find it soothing to be able to pick certain patterns. It alleviates their concerns, it seems. I can only salute Astarion’s idea to implement various fabrics into his work.’

A gleam of pride shines in the younger man’s eyes.

‘Astarion does have a good eye for such things. He’s quite talented!’

‘That he is.’

Gale readjusts his bag over his shoulder and crosses his arms, leaning in as if to speak in confidence.

‘But, tell me, is everything going well with him? Work-wise? You’re probably aware that he’s refused to do community service in many other places and that some of them rejected him altogether. I can’t help but worry that he might be reluctant to do his hours again. He has a tendency to self-sabotage sometimes.’

Halsin tilts his head, not having expected Gale’s sudden change in the conversation. But how could he blame him? Astarion’s file was not brilliant, and his temper seemed to linger on the short side.

‘Everything is going well. Astarion is a great asset in our team. He even took over Karlach’s desk once!’

‘He did?’ the professor gasps. ‘Well, I would not have expected it from him!’

‘I am very satisfied with his work, do not trouble yourself. Of course, I wish that I could connect with him a little bit more, but it is obviously something he is not interested in. Fine by me.’

Sighing in relief, Gale places a hand over his chest, letting his wedding ring reflect the sunlight.

‘I can sleep at night again, hah! I could trust Astarion’s word, but I know that he would either snap or embellish things to shut me up.’

The two men amble around the market together, making small talk and inspecting the vegetables from old Almorn, who busies himself weighing vegetables while his wife Breeza shares ideas with a customer to use the vegetables in their hands. Halsin buys what he needs for dinner, overhearing a drool-inducing recipe, and feels Gale gently nudging him as they greet the gnomish couple and walk away.

‘By the way, I heard from Astarion that someone was looking to buy your practice?’

Ah. This subject again.

‘Yes, a man visited and asked if I had the intention to sell the place. I will decline any offer coming my way, if it should happen.’

‘Good, good. He told me that the man owned several coffee shop chains and such. Well, I certainly hope that it’s nothing but a false alarm. I’ve seen how gentrification defaced Waterdeep, and it hurts my heart whenever I visit my mother. Everything that made the city what it was, all that constituted its identity, it’s all trampled by the crowds. I mean, back in the days, I would have loved to see Waterdeep be appreciated by others, not only by locals, but this… This is no longer my Waterdeep. That’s why Astarion and I moved here instead.’

Halsin adjusts his grip on his bag and pets Scratch’s head.

‘I was not aware that you were Waterdhavian, although the accent should have given me a clue.’

‘Ah, it does resurface every so often, doesn’t it?’

‘Indeed, it does.’

As they eye a cheese stand, the veterinarian’s brow furrows. He cannot prevent his mind from wandering back to Tav and the githyanki boy.

‘You and Astarion live in Combury, do you not?’

‘Mh? Oh, yes, we do. Why?’

Reddish hues tint Halsin’s complexion as he realises that he spoke without thinking. He finds himself speechless for a moment. He does not even know what he meant to ask Gale.

‘Well, um… I was wondering, are there any githyanki in Combury?’

‘Oh, yes. Two. A mother and her son.’

The professor’s answer piques his interest in an instant.

‘The child’s mother is a githyanki?’

‘Well, the child has two mothers. A githyanki and an elf. Astarion knows them well, especially the elf, but I forgot their names. Why are you asking?’

‘Oh,’ Halsin responds, the ache returning to his heart. ‘Scratch and I have just come across the boy with his mother in the forest. It… It occurred to me that it is rare to see githyanki in the region.’

‘Ah, yes. But they are lovely people.’

‘They are.’

He sighs.

‘They are, indeed.’

Taglist: @emmanuellececchi @reignydays @cakenpiewhyohmy @beardedladyqueen @carmsgarms

[fanficshiddles]

Dirty Little Secret, Part 1/2

Summary: Tina is super excited to go see her favourite band at last. But Loki has something more than just seeing and meeting them in store for her.

Note/Warnings: Daddy Dom!Loki, Dom!Chris Motionless, sub!OFC, threesome.

-

‘Lokiiiiiiiiii…’

Loki smirked and put his book down, he turned his head towards the door to see his girl, Tina, coming sheepishly into the room.

‘Yes, Tinaaaaaaa.’ He responded.

‘You know you love me, right?’ She fluttered her eyelashes at him as she crawled onto his lap and straddled over him.

He slipped his hands around her back to hold her in place. ‘Why do I get the feeling you’re after something?’

‘You know my most favourite band ever?’

‘Mmmhmm… Motionless, right?’ Loki narrowed his eyes at her.

‘Yeah… Well, they’re coming to the UK on tour soon. And I’ve loved them for over ten years, but am yet to see them live.’ Tina started curling a bit of Loki’s hair around her finger.

‘Of course we will go see them.’ Loki smiled.

Tina let out a big squeal. ‘Thank you thank you!’

‘When is it?’ Loki asked.

‘Next month, the twenty second.’ She grinned.

Loki frowned. ‘Ohh… that could be a problem.’

Tina’s face dropped. ‘What? Why?’

‘You see, I already got us tickets to a show… on that same night.’ Loki said with regret in his voice as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and brought up an email to show her.

Tina felt like her heart was breaking, such a sudden high at the thought of seeing them to then be brought down so quickly… But as she tried to hold back tears of disappointment, she looked at the email and squinted her eyes. Her heart started racing again and the excitement returned.

‘YOUALREADYGOTTICKETSOHMYGODWHAT!’ She screeched.

Loki threw his head back with laughter. ‘I know you too well, pet. As soon as they went on sale this morning, I got them.’

‘Thank you so much! I can’t believe it!’ Tina couldn’t stop smiling as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

Loki rubbed her back under her top and nuzzled into her hair. ‘I know how much you’ve wanted to see them, and how unlucky you’ve been to miss them each time they come here. No way I would let you miss out this time, love.’

Tina squeezed him extra tight, then leaned back and narrowed her eyes at him.

‘Can’t believe you made me think I was going to miss them again.’ She nudged at his chest.

‘Mischief is my middle name.’ Loki winked at her.

-

Time flew in and before she knew it, Tina was on her way to the concert to finally see her favourite band. She had been buzzing with excitement pretty much from the day Loki had gotten them tickets, but now in the taxi she could barely keep still.

Loki reached over and put his hand on her knee, giving her a squeeze. ‘They better be good, or your ass is on the line.’ He rumbled low to her, making her giggle.

‘Don’t worry, they are. I know you like them too, I’ve caught you humming along to them plenty.’ Tina said as she put her hand on top of his.

Loki couldn’t deny that, as he had heard her play them enough over the last few years of them being together. He knew quite a lot of their songs by heart now, even had some on his Spotify. Though he’d never admit it to her, since in the first place he had been adamant about not liking that sort of music.

‘Are we going to be queuing to get a good spot, or going for food, since we’re arriving few hours before doors?’ She asked him when they were a few minutes away.

‘Neither.’ Loki said, looking out the window.

Tina raised an eyebrow. ‘What are we doing then?’

He turned to face her with a big grin on his face. ‘Well, I might have connections... So I mayyyy have managed to get us backstage passes to get to meet the band before the show.’

Loki hadn’t been sure what to expect when he told her, but the look of utter horror on her face wasn’t quite the reaction he had been expecting.

‘Wh… what? You’re kidding… right?’ She stuttered, sounding rather scared.

‘I assure you, pet. While I am the God of lies, I am not lying this time.’ He smirked.

Tina’s eyes were wide and Loki just couldn’t get a good read of how she was feeling about it. Apart from clearly being scared at the thought.

‘Tina, is there something you’re not telling me? I thought you’d be delighted, but your face certainly doesn’t seem to be.’ He said as he gave her knee a gentle squeeze.

‘I… I am… But I…’ She couldn’t get her words out properly. ‘I’m going… I’m going to meet Chris Motionless?’

Loki nodded. But he noticed her face flushed red too.

‘Wait… Do you have a crush on him?’ He raised his eyebrow at her.

‘What? No… don’t be ridiculous.’ She laughed nervously.

Loki smirked. He knew she did, and he had known for years. He remembered when they first met, she had said as much when they were talking about celebrity crushes. But she clearly had forgotten she’d already told him so.

‘You’re lying, pet. If you carry on lying to me, you know you’re going to end up with a red bottom.’ He growled low, narrowing his eyes at her.

She blushed even harder and squirmed a bit at the thought. He had a mean swing when he wanted to dish out punishments.

He moved closer to her and gripped her chin, making her look at him. ‘No lying to Daddy, little one.’ He rumbled, making her legs turn to jelly with that tone.

‘Don’t.’ She whined, but they both knew she had already lost. When he used that tone and went into Daddy Dom mode, she was always putty in his hands.

‘I’m waiting for the truth.’ He said firmly.

‘Ok… I do. But it’s just for his voice.’ She laughed nervously.

‘Uh huh, sure it is.’ Loki chuckled. ‘Is it ‘cause he looks like me?’

‘Just because of the long black hair you think that makes you look like him?’ It was her turn to raise an eyebrow at him as he sat back and chuckled.

‘We are more alike than you think.’ He winked at her.

‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’

‘Ah, here we are.’ He said as the car stopped just down the road from the venue. He hopped out and put his hand out for her.

She rolled her eyes and took it, knowing she wasn’t going to get an answer from him. He was in one of those playful and teasing moods, which she wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not considering where they were about to go.

The stark realisation of who she was about to meet hit her like a ton of bricks as they entered the venue with no problem once Loki gave his name at the door to security. He felt her grip on his hand tighten with every step they took, more so when they could hear them sound checking.

Tina’s face lit up completely when they stepped into the stage room and the band was on stage warming up. Chris’ voice bellowed throughout the place. She was in awe.

When the band finished, Chris spotted them and waved them over. But Tina didn’t budge.

‘Are you coming closer or are you just going to stand here like a deer in the headlights?’ Loki asked.

She said nothing, just glanced at Loki with wide eyes. He smirked and put his hand at her lower back to guide her forward.

It reminded him of when he first met her, she had been rather speechless and very shy then too. She barely said a word to him for weeks, until he asked her out on a date and she had no option but to speak to him.

Chris hopped down from stage with a warm smile as they approached. Or more, as Loki approached pushing poor Tina along next to him.

‘Hey, you must be Tina?’ Chris put his hand out towards her.

Tina stared at his hand for a moment as if it was going to bite her before she took it with a shaky hand and managed to squeak out a hi.

Chris brought her hand up so he could kiss the back of it, making her blush furiously. But even more so with what he said. ‘Loki, you never told me how pretty your girl is!’

‘The prettiest of them all.’ Loki gloated proudly.

Tina glanced at Loki briefly, shocked and wanting to know what that meant. Had he met him before? He knew their names and he was speaking as if they had. But she was so starstruck she was struggling to even think straight.

‘I hear you’ve been a fan for quite a while?’ Chris smiled warmly at her.

‘I… yeah… sorry… I didn’t know I was getting to meet you until last minute.’ She rambled out quietly.

‘That’s alright.’ Chris chuckled. ‘Would you like a photo?’

‘Please!’ Tina said excitedly.

Her hands were shaking as she pulled out her phone to hand to Loki. As she moved closer to Chris, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her in close to him. Which surprised her, and she was also surprised that Loki wasn’t glaring daggers at him. He was usually rather possessive over her.

‘Thank you!’ She squeaked out once Loki took the picture.

‘You’re very welcome. Do you want to come meet the others? They’re not as good looking as me, but they’re alright.’ Chris teased as he motioned to backstage.

Tina nodded eagerly. Loki put his arm around her waist and they followed Chris through the back. She was so exited to meet everyone, and got pictures with them all, including a group picture. One with Loki and one without. She was shy around them all, but especially around Chris. So she was kind of relieved when they had to leave to go find a good spot for the show now doors had opened.

‘What was all that about? It’s like they know you already?’ She asked Loki once he got them drinks and they got a good standing spot at the side near the front.

Loki chuckled and draped his arm around her shoulder. ‘Did you really think I’d let you hang out with a bunch of guys that I didn’t know? Of course I was going to check them out first.’ He winked at her.

Tina just gaped at him for a moment before she got her thoughts together.

‘Wha… What? When did you meet them? And that was hardly hanging out.’ Tina laughed a little.

‘Last night for a few drinks. You really think that’s it over? Oh no, after the show we’re going for a drink with Chris.’ Loki grinned.

Tina’s eyes widened as she looked up at him and her mouth opened.

‘Close your mouth, pet. You’ll catch flies.’ Loki smirked and pushed her chin up.

The show began and they enjoyed the support bands then of course Motionless In White themselves. Tina was ecstatic to finally be seeing them, she sang and screamed along to every word. She’d completely forgotten about Loki’s plan of meeting Chris afterwards, until Loki took her hand and they headed round the back of the venue instead of getting a taxi at the end.

‘Are we seriously going for a drink with Chris?’ Tina asked nervously.

‘Yep… do you not want to?’ Loki asked as he stopped walking for a moment.

‘I… I do. I just, wasn’t expecting it.’ She shrugged.

Loki smiled and stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. ‘You’re so adorable when you’re shy. I remember when we first met, how shy you were with me.’

She blushed and looked down.

‘Just like that.’ He chuckled and gripped her chin, tilting her face upwards so he could kiss her softly on the lips.

-

They ended up in one of the local pubs with Chris, Tina hadn’t really said much, she was still in a bit of disbelief. And being at a cosy booth table with both him and Loki was making her felt a bit antsy… in the good kind of way. She was quite happy just hearing them talk and watching them.

‘It was a great show.’ Loki commented as they were speaking about said show.

‘Thanks, it’s always good fun in this city.’ Chris smiled. ‘Any song we missed out that you’d have liked to hear?’ He asked Tina.

‘Oh, uhmm… I love all your songs, no bad ones.’ Tina shrugged.

Loki elbowed her slightly. ‘They didn’t play your favourite though.’

Tina’s eyes widened a bit and she shot Loki a glare, or an attempted glare anyway.

‘Oh, what’s your favourite?’ Chris asked.

Tina felt like her entire face was on fire. She could kill Loki for saying that, and the smug look on his face as he took a sip of his drink let her know that he knew exactly what he was doing.

‘Wasp…’ Tina said quietly as she tried to hide behind her drink.

Chris grinned. ‘No need to be embarrassed about that song choice. It’s a good one, if I may say so myself.’

‘Indeed. Made love to it quite often, haven’t we, pet?’ Loki said casually.

Tina’s eyes almost exploded as she looked at Loki. ‘Loki!’ She whined.

‘Though it is hatefuck and rats that really gets you going, more so when you’re in a bratty mood.’ He commented.

‘Oh my god.’ Tina put her hands over her face and sank further down in her seat to try and hide.

‘Pfft, surely not. I can’t imagine you being bratty.’ Chris said, making her try to hide even more as she leaned into Loki and hid her face against his arm.

The guys both chuckled at her reaction as she just groaned.

‘Aww, baby girl. Am I embarrassing you?’ Loki cooed and put his arm around her.

‘You know you are.’ She murmured against him.

‘That’s what Daddy’s do best.’ Chris said.

Tina froze at hearing him say that. Loki felt her whole body go slightly rigid. He looked at Chris with a smirk.

‘This is so not fair, you’re ganging up on me now!’ Tina said as she sat up straight and glanced at them both, her cheeks bright red. Loki thought she might actually explode at any moment.

‘You think this is us ganging up on you?’ Loki raised an eyebrow. ‘We can do that properly, if that’s what you desire.’ He took a last big swig of his drink.

‘Wh… what do you mean?’ She asked, glancing at Chris who bit his lip and winked at her. She looked back at Loki, who had that mischievous look in his eyes.

‘Well, Chris and I had a little chat last night. He’s single right now, and I know he’d be more than able to handle you for a night.’ Loki said suggestively.

Tina was so shocked at what he was implying, she never thought in a million years that Loki would actually be willing to share her with another man. Even for one night.

‘If you want to, of course.’ Chris interjected with.

‘Of course.’ Loki nodded. ‘But I get the feeling you’ve already been thinking about that situation, having both of us in bed with you. If I put my hand inside your knickers right now, I know I’ll find you aroused.’ Loki purred.

Tina squirmed on the spot, he wasn’t wrong. But she wasn’t sure how she would cope with both of them, their teasing was already bad enough. She wouldn’t survive it for sure.

Loki stood and so did Chris. They looked at her, waiting for an answer. Chris put his hand out towards her.

‘I’ll play gentle… at first anyway.’ He grinned.

Tina’s heart was racing as she looked at Loki. He smiled softly and nodded once, giving his ok. It wasn’t a prank, this was real and he was giving her permission.

She took Chris’ hand and he helped her up to her feet. His grip was strong, not much different from Loki’s, really. She was glad he’d taken her hand, as her legs felt like utter jelly and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to walk otherwise.

‘There’s a hotel down the road, we’ll go there.’ Loki suggested as they left the pub. He fell into step at the other side of Tina and took her hand too.

She took a moment to look at Loki and then at Chris, in utter disbelief about what was happening with them both. She did think they looked pretty similar actually, with the long black hair, tall, strong… Though of course Chris with his piercings and tattoos was a big difference. And Loki being a God.

Loki could tell she was excited yet nervous at the same time, he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand to soothe her and made her skin tingle.

They entered the hotel and Loki went over to reception to organise a room. Chris and Tina waited by the lift. He turned to face her and cupped her cheek, gently brushing his thumb over her skin.

‘Are you going to be a good girl tonight?’

Her knees almost gave out on her as she nodded quickly.

Loki returned swiftly with a keycard, they motioned for her to go first into the lift. Both gentlemen. They were on the third floor, and on the lift up Tina got more excited and aroused with every second that passed. With their teasing, it certainly didn’t help.

‘I must say, I am really looking forward to this.’ Chris said as he slid his hand up her back to the back of her neck, giving her a little squeeze and then stroking her skin. Making her tremble.

‘So you should be, Tina is an absolute delight to play with.’ Loki grinned and stroked her hair.

She closed her eyes and just completely melted under both their touch.

‘Oh I bet she is.’ Chris rumbled.

‘I was about to say if she gets nervous or a bit bratty, the back of her neck is her sweet spot but I see you’ve already found it.’ Loki chuckled.

Tina heard what they were saying but she was already deep in subspace she couldn’t respond.

‘Aww, I think she’s going to be a good girl tonight.’ Chris hummed, still stroking the back of her neck.

‘Mmmhmm.’ Tina nodded slightly, blissed out. Making the guys chuckle.

Chris kept his hand at the back of her neck as they reached their floor. Loki took her hand and guided them to their room. Loki pushed the door opened then stood to the side, motioning for them to go first.

‘Let the fun begin.’ He growled.

[microscopiclady]

spotify wrapped

i experienced, this year, what im calling my “adult onset hamilton phase”. yeah i lived on tumblr when miku binder thomas jefferson first broke the internet, but i somehow swerved it, until a drunk evening with my friends this year. the next day, i awoke with lin manuel miranda’s grating voice ricocheting off the walls of my skull. better than a hangover, i guess.

i can’t deny that the songs absolutely slap (wow, almost as if hamilton is one of the most popular musicals ever). i started listening to the songs, but not on the streaming app that i paid $10/month for. i listened on youtube, as if i was hiding some sort of illicit affair, because i was afraid of how it would affect my beloved spotify stats. eventually, that just wasn’t convenient anymore…but…lin manuel miranda continued to entrance me with his jaunty tunes…

spotify wrapped is coming out any day now, and it will undoubtably be infected by the cast of hamilton. i would be lying if i said i didnt feel a complicated kind of disappointment in myself. what do you mean my top artists and genres aren’t going to fit what i want people to perceive me as? who am i even trying to impress?

the only people whose opinions i care about already know of this disease, and think im cool despite my shortcomings. it’s not my job to be aesthetic via the songs i listen to, nor is it my job to be funny by revealing my uncurated taste in music. my (37) instagram followers they have their own performances to worry about.

i realize that making fun of myself for wanting to be uncurated is the biggest irony of all. it’s easy to see so much curation around you and want to achieve the same for yourself. attaching your personhood to a handful of songs is easy. it gives people a shorthand to judge you by.

maybe my real self believes she just wants to use the music app she pays for to listen to music. leave her alone if her top song is the room where it happens!

[napollya-inspiration]

15 for the spotify wrapped drabble game!

#15 on my 2023 Wrapped: Kill You To Try by Daisy Jones and The Six

(send me a number between 1-100 and I'll write a drabble about the corresponding song on my 2023 Spotify Wrapped)

25 46 69

“Would it kill you to try and be honest for once in your life?” Illya asks, hands trembling. The silence is deafening. How many secrets of Napoleon’s had he uncovered over the years? And they just kept piling up. At this point, Illya wonders if he’ll ever really know Napoleon. He shouldn’t want to. But it’s way too late for that now.

“Neither of us got this far by being honest, Peril,” Napoleon says with a shrug.

“Right.” He’s not sure how they got here. Just moments ago, Napoleon was stretching on the couch like a lazy cat in the afternoon sun. He’d been debating where to spend their first leave (‘What do you think, Peril? Cape Cod? Santa Fe? Oh what about a little houseboat in the Marina del Rey?’)

Then, as things tend to do, everything went to shit. Illya feels trapped in his own skin. He was so damn foolish to trust him, a liar and a thief. He’s been setting himself up for this disappointment.

“I never told them anything about you,” Napoleon says carefully.

Illya wants to grab and shake him. How is he supposed to believe a word he says? “And you think I believe that?” He barks and it’s better than pushing the American up against the wall, better than letting the anger out. Because the anger would show that he cares. And he doesn’t. It doesn’t matter.

Napoleon has the audacity to look hurt. “Yes. You should know better than thinking I would give you up.”

“I don’t know what to believe! I thought your loyalty was to UNCLE! Now you are reporting to French spy agency. Don’t know what to believe anymore!” Illya feels like crying. He’s not sure where the urge comes from.

“I’m sorry,” Napoleon says carefully. “I promise I would never do that to you.”

“Too many broken promises, Cowboy,” Illya says, voice rough from withheld tears. He steps back, turns to go.

“Stop!” Napoleon sounds frantic. “Don’t go. Please. I’ll do it. Whatever it takes. Tell me what I must do so you trust me again.”

Illya frowns, suspicious of the desperation, the emotion. “Too important pawn for you to lose?” He sneers.

“I don’t play chess, Illya. You should know that.”

“You play many games.”

“Not with you,” Napoleon says, holding his gaze. Illya should know better. Especially now. Especially after this revelation.

“If I tell you, promise me you’ll mean it?” Illya asks against every training, every experience he’s ever had. People leave. People betray him. Why would he gift forgiveness to Napoleon of all people?

“What is it? What is it I must do?” Napoleon asks, stepping closer and offering his hands, palms up.

“Tell me a truth. A truth no one else knows,” Illya says quietly. Why does he want so desperately to turn a liar into someone he’s not? Why would he blind himself to see Napoleon be honest about something for the first time in his life?

Napoleon steps closer and lifts Illya’s hand to his throat. His pulse is strong underneath his skin, a steady thrum. Illya understands at once what Napoleon is doing. It’s not a perfect method to detect a lie but a stumble in his heartbeat is harder to hide like this. Napoleon swallows and then speaks the truth. “I would die for you in a heartbeat.”

[riddlerosehearts]

Ok, I need to know your fob album ranking and top 10 songs, GO!

oooh okay so i need to start by saying that i am heavily biased toward their older stuff because... i've listened to fall out boy since i was probably too young to listen to fall out boy AFGKJDF and their pre-hiatus albums essentially shaped my music taste and helped me get through a lot of difficult times in my life. so i'm really just generally more attached to them than the rest but i do like every single one of their albums at least a little because they all have songs i love. i also had to think about this a bit and am still not sure if it's a perfect ranking because i'm incredibly indecisive. but this is what i'm feeling right now! (also i apologize in advance for adding a bunch of commentary and rambling instead of just giving you the ranking LOL)

albums:

from under the cork tree - was the first FOB album i ever listened to so i'm biased but it's so fucking good. especially if you include the bonus tracks from it. there is not a single song on here that i don't love.

infinity on high - contains my favorite FOB song (okay maybe it's illogical that my #1 song is from my #2 album but listen... it's a very close #2), aesthetically has the coolest album cover, and it's just fantastic all around--again, especially if you include the bonus tracks.

take this to your grave - i feel like a lot of people hate TTTYG nowadays and i'll never understand why. it's a great album. it's classic pop punk and just pure fun.

folie a deux - literally never understood the hate this album got when it came out!! it's so good!! i remember listening to the whole thing the same day as it dropped and loving it and being so confused seeing how much people complained about it :(

so much (for) stardust - okay i actually love this album so much that #5 feels too low but if i switched it with folie then #5 would feel too low for folie so idk 😭😭 my favorite post-hiatus album BY FAR though. it's sooo good and it's also special to me because i literally never got to see fall out boy live until they toured for its release last year.

save rock and roll - has some misses for me, as do the albums i've ranked below it, but overall i like my favorite songs from SRAR more than i like my faves from the albums below, and it gets bonus points for how cool the youngblood chronicles is + the nostalgia i associate with FOB's return from their hiatus.

american beauty/american psycho - ABAP gets a lot of hate but i think it kind of rocks actually and putting it at #7 feels slightly wrong. it's really only this low because something has to be and because again, i like my favorite SRAR songs more than my favorite ABAP songs.

mania - i think a lot of people on here get mad if you put MANIA last so i'm sorry afksjgdsf. it honestly just has the lowest number of songs i really like and has several that i don't. though i will say that last of the real ones is a certified banger and i was so glad it had a permanent spot on the tourdust setlist.

songs:

hum hallelujah - my beloved 💙💙 when i saw FOB live they had a slot on the setlist where each night they'd either play bang the doldrums or hum hallelujah and i won't lie, i did feel disappointed for a second when doldrums started. i got over it because i love that song too but. hum hallelujah is one of my all time favorite songs.

i slept with someone in fall out boy and all i got was this stupid song written about me - my favorite song on FUTCT and another all time fave. i also think this is the funniest song title of all time btw.

XO

G.I.N.A.S.F.S. - so jealous of anyone who's gotten to see this played live as a magic 8-ball song :(

calm before the storm - this having a permanent spot on the tourdust setlist got me hyped like you wouldn't believe because they had last played it in 2007. underappreciated banger.

love from the other side - this was literally my top song of 2023 on my spotify wrapped. i made an angsty raeda gifset with lyrics from it not long after the single came out because it made me so insane.

sugar we're goin' down - might be a bit of a basic choice but it was the first FOB song i ever liked and it fucking slaps 💖 also when i saw them live i swear patrick changed the lyrics to "wishing to be the friction in his jeans" which is just. legendary and iconic of him.

disloyal order of water buffaloes

grand theft autumn/where is your boy - again, a basic choice, but sometimes things are popular for a reason!

the carpal tunnel of love

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

okay what’s your analysis of this album. also the mv that debacuhery kind of aesthetic god *chef’s kiss*

I was so excited last night when the album and the MV came out. I had so much adrenaline in my body lmao. Then this morning I woke up, had to go out so I played the album on spotify while I was out, walking. Later, I came home and the interlude was playing again and I started ugly crying at that bit of Jimin introducing himself at the concert.

Well, it's obviously a sad album. There's so much frustration and loneliness and disappointment at oneself in almost every verse of every song. Musically, as far as sound and music genres go, I love all of it. I think it sounds expensive, polished, high quality. He sounds better than ever and his voice is so dynamic, changing with every line, every song. It should be talked more often the way he's able to mold his voice to every music genre. I really don't have much to say about the sound overall because I honestly love every bit of it. I've been enjoying listening to all of the songs, they're just good good songs. It should even be a longer album, imo. But also the songs that are there are kind of enough to send the intended message across.

Face-off starting with that clown music is just genius. To me this song feels like a critic to himself and talks about self-sabotage. I don't really think it's about anyone in particular, but just an abstract song about realizing that you've made a fool of yourself for whatever reason. I know it's a 180 from that but it actually made me think of how in Promise he talks to himself /about himself in the third person. It starts strong, talking about drinking, which is the persistent theme throughout the whole album.

Alone is a very consistent track with the overall concept of the album and the explanations Jimin himself gave for it. You could probably sum up the whole album in just two songs: Alone and Set Me Free pt2. If we go by credits order, alone it's the song Jimin had the most participation in writing and it does have the most raw, realest lyrics. In the first verse he does that thing of talking about himself in the third person "you tried to escape but you've lost your way". The line "always acting like I'm okay, I feel pathetic" really gets me. It's not really a song that needs any analysis, since it's all laid out pretty clearly. Face-off, for me when I read the lyrics, it feels like choices were made to fit the lyrics to a certain beat/rythm/concept/vibe, and not like the lyrics are the spotlight or the focus of the song. On the other hand, alone does come across as a song where the lyrics are the most important part of it. When I wrote about set me free in a different post, I talked about how my personal interpretation had to do with being stuck, with repetition and something you can't get out of; then the filming episode was posted and Jimin actually said that it was about that, the feeling of being in a hamster wheel. Alone touches upon that again. The same day, the same miserable feelings repeating over and over. Lyrically, alone is my favorite.

Letter is so beautiful. So soooo pretty and I wish it would've been in the album because it feels like a nice wrap to it. Like after all the chaos and self-hate, there's that song that's forgiving, warm and hopeful. I don't really think it's a romantic song; going by the references it really sounds like it's for army and it aligns also with the way he's talked in 2021 about how their "relationship" with army has changed from the beginning until now. I do think having Jungkook on the song was unnecessary because his background vocals aren't even that outstanding (in this song). But that's JK, he's been singing songs for army since forever so that's probably a reason why Jimin might've wanted to include him. I think Jimin said he will talk about this song when he goes live on the 29th.

I left like crazy for the end because this one is all over the place for me. The lyrics, the references, the MV, the choreo (that I haven't seen but we've all read the things people at the recording said), the explanations Jimin has given. There's like a million interpretations and then also none at all. You could take so many meanings from it depending if you're analyzing the MV, the lyrics, the things Jimin has said, later tonight when we watch the choreo that too will probably make it even more complicated than it already is LMAO.

Firstly, I think one of the reasons there could be so many angles to it and for the lyrics to be kind of... strange? It's because there's so many writers in the song. There are seven credited writers in this song, both the Korean and English version, and Jimin is second to last in contribution. Meaning that 5 other people probably had more input in the lyrics. I don't think that lyrically the song makes a lot of sense with all of the stuff that's been said about it. Is it about the movie, is it about Jimin's personal experiences, is it romantic, is it about sex, is it about a break up???

I was confused by the "she", at first. I was waiting for the Korean lyrics to come out because I wanted to see if Jimin had written it with pronouns. I geniunely didn't think it was something like him, to write a pronoun at all. And he actually didn't. If we go by this, he just wrote "baby".

I'm pretty sure the "she" was added by the other writers, to fit the beat better or to give it more sense to the whole concept. It's just a really random "she" at the beginning of the song.

Things Jimin has said about the song and what it means:

This song to me feels sadder with every listen lmao. My first time watching the MV, without subtitles or lyrics, what I got from it was that he was lost and lonely between the crowds. Again, the feeling like in set me free, of being there but not really being part of anything. There's couples kissing, and groups of friends in the MV, and some moments he's with them but for most of it he's just alone. Even the part where he's standing over the couple kissing, it doesn't feel like that's meant to represent him and a girl either, to me it's all about being alone while everyone else has someone.

I didn't get the feeling that there was a love interest, and I actually find the girl that's "wandering" kind of unnecessary because it leads nowhere...? I feel like they could've gone all the way and show them as a couple/exes if it was the intention, because it's safe. But that didn't happen. I don't know if the choreography will be more "romantic", but from what people have been saying it sounds like it could be more about just mindless touching, meaningless human interactions that are just a distraction for something else. That, I understand; I do get that from the MV and it makes sense with the explanation that Jimin gave about it being a song in which you're just trying to escape from feelings you don't want to -well, face. In the English version there's a line that says "numbing the pain", which is quite literal.

If I think about the movie, the characters are both alone in different parts of the world and they both date other people while still missing each other and never really letting go of what they had. They didn't get any closure. I could see that in the half-assed metaphor with the girl and how she and Jimin are "searching" for each other but never really getting together. In the movie, they're constantly trying to make it work but it just doesn't work. The characters are stuck in the past (again, a recurring theme in the album), and they keep trying to be together but it gets to the point where it's like "are we trying to make this work because we still love each other or because we're clinging to what we used to be?". It's in those particular feelings that the movie evokes where Jimin explanation makes sense, that it's about losing yourself because you want to stay in that fairytale with a loved one. Even if that daydream-like experience has already passed and now it's just painful and draining and a neverending circle of self-loathing because they can't be that same couple again.

Before the song/MV were out, a friend and I talked about how it would be about separation, and I thought that it could be about BTS, even. Then, Jimin actually said this:

And this:

I think it's another valid angle from which you could interpret this song, too. It would even make sense with the timing, because he said he was feeling like that during their Vegas concerts, and that was the last moments BTS were together as a group. Though I wouldn't necessarily take his words so literally. He said it began at those concerts, so it probably went on for a while after that. The songs are in order for a reason, and like crazy is one of the last songs of the album.

All in all, to me it really is unclear if this song was written based on his personal experience, a real romantic break up he actually went through, or if he was going through something else (disbandment) that he related to the story in the movie.

As for a general commentary about the album, I think he did a fantastic job at blurring the line and making songs where the subject is ambiguous. The songs can be read as being about other people, failed relationships, or they could even be read as self-criticism.

[maryse127]

Got tagged by @dying-suffering-french-stalkers to post 4 albums I listened to lately and then I forgot about it for like at least a week so here's some belated music talk!

So Much (For) Stardust by Fall Out Boy: Often when I listen to a new album by a favorite artist/band I am kinda underwhelmed/disappointed because it is different or not as good as what came before and I really need a bit to let the music grow on me. THIS ALBUM HOWEVER! Complete opposite experience. This thing is a masterpiece from start to finish and I needed only one listen to realise it. Every song that came on was amazing. I was literally surprised by myself that I kept loving every song that came on. 10/10 everyone needs to listen to this right now omg

2. Songs From Final Fantasy XV by Florence and the Machine: Final Fantasy XV starts and ends with a beautiful cover of Stand by Me but Florence and the Machine made an additional two songs that aren't actually in the game. This entire thing is only 15 minutes long but these 3 songs singlehandedly made Florence the 3rd artist on my Spotify wrapped last year. Too Much Is Never Enough made me cry when I first heard it. Stand By Me makes me emotional too. I Will Be is hauntingly beautiful. Even if you don't get the full emotional damage from Final Fantasy XV's tragic ending PLEASE listen to this even just for the insane vocals. I promise this will be a 15 minutes well spent.

3. Speaking of Final Fantasy XV My Beloved: Final Fantasy XV Original Soundtrack by God herself aka Yoko Shimomura (and some others): This album singlehandedly made Yoko Shimomura my second artist on my Spotify Wrapped last year. I recently bought this on CD and it is the best thing ever. (The fact that Noctis My Beloved looks very handsome on disc 1 is also a great feature of the CD Box) I love this soundtrack so much. It is very long so I wont demand anyone listen to it in its entirety (even tho yall should) but special shoutouts to Apocalypsis Aquarius, Somnus (Instrumental), Valse di Fantastica, Wanderlust, Veiled in Black and Noctis (I could make a whole seperate post about Noctis theme but omg it makes me emotional)

4. Speak Now by Taylor Swift: So by now you might be wondering who was number 1 on my Spotify Wrapped and it was miss Swift here. I haven't really listened to Speak Now as much lately but I did a few weeks before getting tagged for this. I am trying to manifest Speak Now Taylor's Version because I NEED those vault songs. This is one of if not my favorite album of hers. This is the closest we will ever get to a Taylor Swift rock album. Also: Enchanted My Beloved. Downside of Taylor's Version will be the new album cover because I love this artwork so fucking much and she will never make the new one as good as this one

Tagging: @turtlebats @elfje-8 @mister-e-muss @humongousfurybeard @arkeyr79 and any other follower who would like to do this just say I tagged you :)

[gigiviv]

got inspired by @violaceum-vitellina-viridis to do this ask game! 

feel free to do one for yourselves y’all

- Song of the year? spotify wrapped says vore by sleep token but I will probs say everything eventual by spiritbox bc they were still my top artist (continuing from last year too <3)

- Album of the year? spirit box’s eternal blue album

- Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? jungle and alien stage. the dead tongues I just recently discovered and their latest album hit hard for me so that’s cool

- Movie of the year? I didn’t see many this year. maybe dune pt. 2. saw that 3 times

- TV show of the year? rewatched house m.d.

- Episode of TV or webisode that defined the year for you? house m.d.’s everybody dies episode. probably uh. a morbid choice. but I still see it as relatively hopeful given the entire clusterfuck that was this year

- Favorite actor of the year? mmm don’t have one

- Game of the year? mouthwash or outer wilds

- Best month for you this year? haha. maybe uh. the beginning of this year? I can’t quite remember it so it must’ve not been that bad

- Something that made you cry this year? the tornadoes that touched down on one of my irl bestie’s property before the hurricane hit this year. let’s not do that again. ever.

- Something you want to do again next year? enjoy my creative hobbies. maybe form new relationships. I’m open to discovering more things to ground myself next year

- Talk about a new friend you made this year didn’t make a new one. but reestablished bonds with my old friends so we’re all good

- How was your birthday this year? not great. I distinctly remember being disappointed due to irl circumstances. but w/e

- Favorite book you read this year? ooooo this is a good one. the machineries of empire series - ninefox gambit, raven stratagem, revenant gun & hexarchate stories by yoon ha lee

- What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? procrastination is soooo bad. executive dysfunction has hit harder than ever and it’s just. so damn difficult to get out of bed most days when not actively working

- Post a picture from the beginning of the year

(shitty iphone 6 quality bc I didn’t upgrade until later on in the year </3)

- Post a picture from the end of the year

(purposefully blurry pic for halloween spookiness </3)

- A memorable meal this year? bday dinners & probs the upcoming nye dinner w/ irl friends

- What’re you excited about for next year? nothing lmfao. I just want it to be easier. to not hit so hard in the beginning. my saturn return is next year too so. hahaha. we’ll see where it goes

- What’s something you learned this year? financial stress will ruin you very, very, quickly

- What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? uh. it’s gotten worse. but still got a roof over our heads. so. yay?

- Favorite place you visited this year? didn’t travel but my irl bestie’s places are always good places to relax at

- If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? girl (gn) SAVE YOUR MONEY. you will need it. esp for end of the year surprises. also don’t trust the family luck, it’s all bad

- Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? I didn’t make any. survived. ig that’s a good thing

- Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one yes! seffi’s birth mother, I fleshed them out fully into their own character instead of just a wishy-washy concept

[magnificentartisanluminary]

Music I liked this year

So I was a little disappointed with my Spotify wrapped this year. It wasn't wrong obviously but it wasn't completely right either so I'm gonna make my own top 5 list of albums I really liked this year. None of them were actually released this year and some I didn't find this year specifically but I at least did really connect with these albums this year. 1. Man-child - Herbie Hancock (1975) I've listened to this album a bit on and off since i first started listening to jazz a couple of years ago. I always felt it wasn't quite as good as the other stuff Herbie did with the Headhunters, that it was just more generic than Thrust or the Headhunters album. But honestly this album has some true bangers on it. Hang up your hang ups is just very fun and I love the part when the saxophone solo is joined by the full ensemble in the chorus. That part never ceases to send shivers down my spine. The traitor and especially steppin in it are also really fun and groovy pieces with some great solos as well. The more mellow cuts I don't really like as much but i still do like sun touch and bubbles. 2. Goda' Goda' - Jojje Wadenius (1969) The title means "Good day, Good day" in swedish and it is a collection of childerns poetry set to music. Although the fun and childish lyrics are part of why I enjoy this album the fact it has a couple of real good jams is what makes this one of my favorites this year. The songs "Mitt sår" (My wound), Jag vill ha en hund, en blå (I want a dog, a blue one), Den jag älskar heter Örjan (The one I love is called Örjan) and Kalles klätterträd (Kalle's climbing tree) are all really fun and some of my favorites to listen to.

3. Kornet - Kornet (1975) This one is just a really fun progressive rock/jazz album with some truly great compositions. Its got fast paced and fun songs like "skriet från vildmarken" as well groovy and fun songs like "Frunk" and "Pygges blues", More atmospheric songs like "Jojk" and "intrude tretaktarn" and laid back songs like "sju hungriga år" and "friska fläktar." Its honestly just good really creative song after good really creative song. If any album on this list is worth a full listen it might be this one.

4. Spelar Nilsson - De gladas kapell (1978) This album is mostly a bit forgettable and would not really be on this list if it wasn't for the fact that two of the songs are so good they carry the rest of the album handily. The song "Havana Boogie" is just this really heavy jazz jam with some great riffs and the nastiest guitar solo followed by the cleanest piano solo. They manage to really conjure a lot of music out surprisingly little written material and it really takes you on what feels like a crazy journey. "De gladas kapell" is another song that just slaps so hard with just some great solos on both guitar and keys. I liked this one so much i remember hearing the full thing in a dream, and its like 7 minutes long, the other week because I've listened to it that much. Fun fact Jojje Wadenius and the keyboard player from Kornet plays on this album. It is in fact the keyboard player who wrote the music on the album and it is named after him. His name was Stefan Nilsson and sadly he passed just recently in 2023 from ALS. 5. Yellowjackets - Yellowjackets [Self-title] (1981) If you asked me my favorite album this year this would easily be my answer. As an album it just manages to be banger after banger. Every song I've listened to repeat so many times. If I was ever in a bad mood this year I would just pop on any one of the songs of here. Matinee Idol is just an amazing opening track. Such a fun and bluesy jam with a whole lot of groove. It always makes me wanna dance when I hear it and I can't even dance! Imperial struts melody and guitar solo are so unmatched. Strange and complex yet somehow so memorable. Again the groove is so good too. Sittin in it has some amazingly written parts. The funky bluesy main riff is something i just cant get enough of. Rush hour is funny, groovy and has great solos. Hornet is the weakest cut on the album in my opinion but still a fun song with good solos. Priscilla was a song I didn't really like at first but it really grew on me. The delayed guitar hits in the main part and the super cheesy other part. It comes together to make something, fun and heavy yet groovy and the solos are just totally amazing. It's almost gone is great closing track with its mysterious piano intro that just sort of builds into a great guitar solo. Its cheesy yet still has a lot flavor, spice and energy. A great listen beginning to end. Thats my list. I'll also link this playlist here of just a couple of favorites from this year: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6XbB0JnVdmxFh8wD57VQbW?si=f8179a1330f94620

[lostmykeysie]

Keysie, dont be shy. Drop that spotify wrapped you silly little cunt 🥱

WHY AM I BLUSHING????? CALL ME A CUNT AGAIN!!!!!!! AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!!!

also is that a yawn emoji!?????? wtf are you yawning am i BORING YOU

okay this is the LEAST surprising message i’ve ever seen in my life first of all. like yeah babe we already knew. taylor swift co-wrote chimaera and the wolf like obvs she’s gonna be up there

this is actually a very fair take because i love harry’s house it’s a fantastic album i don’t listen to any of his other music but that’s a brilliant record, and remi wolf and don broco are my day ones, and i listen to doja whenever i feel sexy so. makes sense. if you were expecting to be impressed by my worldly music taste i’m afraid i am here to disappoint. however i will say if i didn’t own supertramp’s crime of the century on vinyl they would be up there with t swizzle. probably toto top five too

what DOESNT make sense is that my top song was wildest dreams???????? huh????? and my third top was style???????? who????????? so i’ve decided the fave songs this year is a CONSPIRACY

but the BEST PART???? babe do you wanna see the most awkward british thing you’ve ever seen?????????????? here you go

NOT THE KICK

[aspiring-holistic-otaku]

Ramble#12 - Delinquency

This month's episode is on delinquent manga, a pretty dope but unfortunately pretty dead genre. That may just be my underexposure speaking but it seems to me that the delinquent pipeline seems to get dryer and dryer every year.

I was hoping to find a bunch of new rad delinquent manga this month but honestly it was a pretty weak month for reads but nonetheless let's get into it

top 5 delinquent manga read this month:

#5) Wolf Guy: Ookami no Monshou by Tabata Yoshiaki (complete with 117 chapters, I only got 56)

Just gotta say right off the bat, even though I haven't finished either wolf guy or akumetsu by the same author I very much prefer akumetsu [spoken on before in ramble#4, Mystery, Madness & Mayhem]

Regardless the premise here in wolf guy, is basically that there's this guy that turns into something wolf like (yes a werewolf) and how his nature seems to attract bad news

My main problem with the series is how much they ask you to suspend your belief as the students are in middle school and are closer to terrorism than delinquency, it gets very very wild, a little too wild for me, fairly solid art but I would warn folks to approach with major caution if they decide to pick this up

#4) OUT by tatsuya iguchi (ongoing with 206 English chapters)

Basically the story here is a dude just got out of juvie and has to avoid trouble so he moves out of town to the sticks, and if that had played out well for him there'd be no story here. So ofc one of the first things that happens is him getting into a fight with the VP of the top gang in the area.

Luckily delinquents tend to respect guts and nobody else was around so that played out well enough for him except now he's wrapped up in the arguments of the local gangs who are on the brink of war.

My main problem with OUT is that the camaraderie usually present in delinquent manga is almost non-existent here, no vibes, just violence. I will say it's got pretty decent art, and a number of pretty neat spreads.

#3) Bakuon Rettou by Tsutomu Takahashi (complete with 105 chapters, I read 46)

Basically this one dude just didn't like boredom or the normal life or something so he got involved in a biker gang as if extracurricular activities didn't exist or something.

We follow this guy through his outward and internal changes as he gets deeper and deeper into the gang.

I was really excited to get to this because of the author but I was pretty disappointed in the end, maybe because I only got halfway but at least they had the same old beautiful art I had expected.

#2) Tokyo Revengers by Ken Wakui (complete with 279 chapters + an anime)

Fairly popular so you may have heard of it, the story goes that the main character goes back in time to save his crush by joining the gang that kills her in the future, with the goal of becoming their leader so he can prevent his crush's death.

not gonna lie I really dug it in the beginning, the premise was a two punch combo of things I loved, I mean time travel + delinquency? In any case idk my love for it just petered out, then the ending was a bit wack, crazy style on almost every character tho.

#1) Durarara!! story by Ryougo Narita and art by Akiyo Satorigi

Best thing I read this month, a bit surprised since I'd already watched the anime way back when but it was still super great.

The story is that a young lad named mikado ryuugamine moves to the big city of ikebukuro for high school in an attempt to shake off his normal day to day life. He meets up with his childhood best friend masaomi kida who shows him around town and gives him all the details of strange tales, urban myths and living legends.

The story is broken up into durarara, durarara saika arc, durarara yellow scarves arc & durarara re; dollars each about 20 - 30 chapters long

top 5 delinquent manga read ever: (I go off cuff for these so no transcript, but dude trust me)

#5) Kyou kara ore wa!! by Hiroyuki Nishimori (366 chapters)

#4) Beelzebub by Ryuuhei Tamura (252 chapters)

#3) Holyland by Kouji Mori (182 chapters)

#2) Rookies by Morita masanori (233 chapters)

#1) Clover by Tetsuhiro Hirakawa (401 chapters)

honourable mention: great teacher onizuka gto

thanks for listening, if you'd like to see specific scores my anilist is in the link above and additionally there's a small off cuff part 2 in the episode where I talk a little bit more about what I like about the delinquent genre

[hangekitty]

Hiii, I wanted to ask if you could write a f!Hange x fem!reader one shot where the reader is outside the Walls for a mission. Usually hange would be with them being their Partner and everything but for some reason can't. So when they come back they stand in the front row and search for their girlfriend but can't see her and the group is so much smaller so they already know what happend and there is only one thought in their head something like...nonono this is not happening right now.... a few days later a small group stands before the Walls and explain that they got seperated from their group when Titans attacked but managed to hide, find their horses and ride back at night. The reader goes to Hange and finds them in their shared room. Broken and hopeless, ready to give up and when the reader starts talking they think they are going crazy but when she touches them they realize that the reader is real and alive and just throws themselves at her and very gentle smut and fluff happens.

Okay sorry for my english and this was way too long😅

But I hope you decide to write this and if you do thank you soo much❤❤

Hange x f!Reader - Lost without you

Oh my I loved writing this. The thought of a grieving Hange is too much so I’m glad this is contains fluff and smut! Shoutout to @sweetfaun for grammar and editing checks! 🌸

Genre: fluff, smut, 18+

Warnings: subtle mention of suicide, fingering, tribbing

Word count: 3417

A/N: I listened to the “falling in love with Hange Zöe” playlist on Spotify by ObviouslyMoss whilst writing this if anyone is interested. I might keep music a running theme on my work. AFAB Hange - I may have accidentally made them a bit softer than usual but come on they are a big softie.

The life of a soldier in the scout regiment is one of duty and dedication. At any moment you could be asked to give up your heart, your life, and your soul for humanity. It is strongly advised that upon becoming a scout you are to leave behind all personal feelings and relationships as there is a possibility you will lose everything in a blink of an eye. This is something that is easier said than done, as despite the consequences each soldier is still only human.

Regardless of any warnings, there was no stopping squad leader Hange Zoe falling for their fellow squad leader – you. Perhaps it was the way you laughed with them, or how you helped them with their elaborate experiments, or maybe that one time you convinced Hange to shower with you. Hange was smitten, and fortunately so were you. Only the Gods knew what Hange would do without you, and if they were ever to lose you…. It simply wasn’t worth thinking about. You were everything to them, their reason to be alive; so, if there ever was a day that you were no more it would feel as if Hange had lost their entire world.

The two of you had dated for little over a year. The way in which Hange had asked if their feelings for you were reciprocated was adorable. They had thought to surprise you by naming the four titans being held in captivity ‘Will, Yew, Bee and, Myne’. Moblit had assisted with the entire thing, having taken the time to write up each name on an individual plaque and arranging them accordingly. Hange had everything set up, ready and waiting for when you were leaving a meeting and had sent Moblit to escort you back to the research labs. Upon your arrival, Hange grabbed your hand and excitedly announced that they had successfully caught four titans for experimentation. As you looked upon them, noticing the quaint plaques that featured a tidy penmanship – you assumed it must belong to Moblit, as Hange’s scrawl was illegible at the best of times.

“Will…. Yew…. Bee…Myne?” You read aloud and before you even had the time to process the play on words, Hange let out an astounding “Yes, of course I will!” and wrapped themself around you. Admittedly, you were confused at first, but you soon caught on and admitted your feelings for real.

From that point, you were always together. Whether it was on expeditions or within the lab, it was a rarity to see you two together. Commander Erwin had granted you permission to share a room together. Fortunately, so, as the constant charades of having to sneak into each other’s rooms at night were beginning to get exhausting. Soon it had got to the point where sharing your space with Hange had become second nature, and that you were unable to sleep without them by your side.

---

It was the Summer of 849, and Erwin had organised an unexpected expedition. It hadn’t been that long since the last and you wondered why there was such a rush to go beyond the walls once again in such a short period of time. The unexpected nature of Erwin’s plans meant that Hange wasn’t able to attend this expedition on account of two titans that were being held in the research facilities. Hange had named them Charles and Domery – peculiar names, but that was to be assumed of Hange Usually you would be expected to assist Hange with their research, however on this occasion your presence on the field was required due to you being a Squad Leader.

“It’s just two days, sweetheart,” you cooed as the both of you rested in bed. You were sat up, lounging back within the abundance of pillows, whilst Hange’s head rested in your lap as you attempted to hush them asleep by stroking their hair. Despite your attempts, it was inevitable that Hange would spend a majority of the night lying awake due to the anxiety pooling in their stomach. You two were practically joined at the hip by now, and every time you had to separate Hange found themselves unable to sleep. They had wrapped their arms around your leg, hugging it tighter with every minute that passed. They were so scared of losing you, and so any moment they had left with you they wanted to stay conscious.

“But, y/n, I won’t be with you,” Hange whined, the irregular softness of their voice tugging at your heartstrings. This was always the worst part of the job – having to leave your loved ones behind, unsure whether or not you would ever see them again. However, it was important. You had to do this for the sake of humanity; it’s what both you and Hange had understood and had committed to upon signing up for the Survey Corp. Sometimes you wished you could just run away together and leave it all behind. You cup Hange’s face in your hands, delicately stroking their soft cheeks with the pads of your thumb.

“I know, my sweet, I know. I’ll be okay, I promise,”.

---

Despite their being an air of doubt in their mind, Hange believed that you would keep your promise of returning unharmed. Whenever Hange was unable to attend an expedition, they were sure to stand in the front row of bystanders that were awaiting the return of the scouts. Five squads had left just two days ago, but it seemed that only three had successfully returned today.

“Erwin… Levi… Miche… Gelgar,” Hange listed off as they could see their companions passing through the gates. Their eyes frantically darted through the hoard to see whether you had snuck in, to see whether they had simply missed your arrival. Panic began coursing through their veins, but it soon began to settle as a majority of your squad came into view. Evidently, the group was smaller than when you had initially left for the expedition; and the remaining members were beaten and brushed – with one unfortunate soldier missing both an arm and a leg.

“No no no nonononono, this isn’t right. Where is she?!” Was all Hange could think. Blind panic took over, and Hange found themselves moving towards one of your squad members and demanded to know where you were.

“Where is y/n? Where is she?” Hange practically screamed. The looks on everyone’s face was grim; this wasn’t looking good at all.

“We were separated. The last we saw of Squad Leader y/n they were fighting off an abnormal. We waited for them at our usual checkpoint, but no one came”. One dishevelled soldier finally answered. At this point, Hange decided to just leave immediately – not even bothering to welcome their friends back. They crawled into your shared bed, curling in on themselves and taking hold of the sheets. Tears fell down their face as they attempted to conceal a painful, horrifying wail.

“This can’t be happening” they whimpered “You promised,”.

---

A couple of days later, Hange was still in the bedroom. The numbness they felt only allowed them to drink something that Levi bought in every few hours. He never said anything during these visits, only sitting on the bed with Hange for a while and then silently taking his leave.

Despite the agonising feeling in their heart, Hange still found it funny how they’d gone from being unable to sleep without your presence to continuously sleeping throughout the days. Perhaps it was as close as they could get to being with you, as you had seemingly passed into the next realm. Or perhaps it was just a sad coping mechanism as being awake felt far too painful. They were on the edge of just giving up and considering finding a new life away from the scout regiment. Admittedly Hange had felt disappointed in themselves, having allowed themselves to develop feeling and leaving them vulnerable to heartache. Through the darkest moments, they considering just ending it all in order to be reunited with you.

---

What Hange hadn’t realised is that you and the rest of the squad had returned days after everyone else. Albeit you were all looking a little worse for wear, but overall, you were okay. Upon hearing of your arrival Moblit had immediately sought after you. He clutched your hands into his own. A worried expression was painted across his face.

“y/n, you’re okay! What happened?”

“We were intercepted by titans and my squad had to split. We had no choice but to hide and wait until it was safe for us to come back. We all had to find and gather our horse – it wasn’t an easy feat. Then we had to ride back home during the night. I’m sorry we worried you”. You let out an exasperated sigh. Being a squad leader was difficult, made even more so by being left out in the field with no food or water.

Upon receiving news of your arrival home, Levi and Erwin had come to the courtyard with a few others, all armed with bread and water hoping to nourish both you and your squad.

“y/n, you’re alright” Levi began. Despite his apathetic face, he was pleased to see you. Before allowing you to gulp down your water he placed a firm grasp on your shoulder and looked at you directly. “Please let Four Eyes know you’re okay. They’re not doing too good, and it’s been quiet without them.”

You choke on your water upon hearing this. Oh Gods, how you have fretted about Hange and how sick with worry and anxiety they’d be. Honestly, you’d half expected them to rush out and greet you. However, you already knew that Hange had probably assumed the worst and went straight into mourning. Feeling a burning sensation in your throat as tears began to prick your eyes, you excused yourself from your captain – determined to not cry in front of him. Despite the deep exhaustion you were feeling, pure determination allowed you to rush back to your living quarters and towards your own bedroom.

---

Once you reach the entrance to your room, you have half a mind to slam open the door and leap straight onto the bed where you assumed Hange was currently laying. You imagined planting them with a million kisses, but you knew you had to take a gentler approach than that. When Hange was feeling fragile, all they needed was a soft touch.

You opened the door a little, only to be met with a groan.

“No thank you Captain, please leave me alone,” Hange muttered, curling in on themselves even more. Oh, how hollow their voice sounded, full of sorrow and guilt.

“Hange?” You gently called out. Immediately their head turned towards you. Was it really you? “I’m here, darling.”

Hange shot up immediately, staring at your face and drinking in your presence. You were smiling, ready to give them a hug, but Hange’s face wasn’t that of love but instead one of panic and confusion.

“No no, you aren’t real. I know you’re not there; you’re gone! My brain must be having a breakdown I- “

You interrupt their murmurings and reach forward to take hold of Hange’s hand, placing in onto your chest directly over your heartbeat. Their eyes dart between your face and their own hand. You could feel them trembling under your touch until realisation had set in.

“y/n, it’s really you!”. Their eyes began welling with tears, causing you to begin crying all over again. This time, however, it was with a smile. Hange lunged forward and held you tight to their body.

“WAAAAHHH!” They yelled out before tackling you to the bed, crying and wailing the whole time. “Y/N YOU’RE OKAY! YOU’RE OKAY!” they repeated, not realising you were practically suffocating under their intense grip on you. There they were arms around your chest and stomach whilst rubbing their face into your neck and squirming with pure joy.

“Hange!” you giggled “Hange, I can’t breathe!”. A little alarmed, Hange let go a little and positioned you in front of them. They cupped your face with both hands, smiling at you before kissing you intently. You would have thought it would be as rough as passionate as the hugs had been, but instead this kiss was gentle and meaningful. Hange pulled away and their eyes began studying your face.

“How…What happened?” They asked, their voice gentle and soft.

“Some abnormal titans had us cornered. We had to hide and then find our horses again. We couldn’t ride home until nightfall the following day, but I’m back now. I’m safe”

That was all the words Hange had needed to hear before pulling you into another gentle kiss. Whilst you were lost in such contentment, Hange reached down to touch your thigh; earning themself an excited yelp just because they took their chance and pushed further to stick their tongue into your mouth. This gentle, romantic kiss gradually became one that was more desperate, steamier. Their hands wandered down your body, touching every inch possible as if they still weren’t completely convinced you were real.

Hange pulled away, looking up and down your body with a mischievous look in their eye. Although you were tired, you felt an immense desire to just be taken there and then – to connect your bodies and become one. And how could you resist with the face Hange was giving you in that moment? They moved down your body, planting kisses and gentle nips whilst removing any fabric that they met along the way.

“It must have been tough out there,” Hange began as they removed their shirt – their binder soon following. “I missed you greatly,”

“I…I missed you too Ha-“ Your train of thought was interrupted as Hange began nibbling at your thighs. You could feel blood rushing to your cheeks as their dark brown eyes met yours.

“That’s what I like to hear. Now lay back and let me reward you for being a brave little soldier,” Hange purred before diving headfirst in between your thighs, laying further kisses and kitten licks at your soft, sensitive flesh. If Hange was to have glanced up to your face, they would have seen the stars in your eyes - your face to full of love and admiration. And it was all for them.

Noticing as Hange was getting close to your wet pussy, you shook yourself out of your trance. Panic shot through you, and you held a rather surprised Hange’s face in your palms.

“I…I don’t think I want that. I have only just got back and I…” You could barely finish your sentence. You were embarrassed. Several days of fighting titans without any opportunity to efficiently clean yourself had left you feeling self-conscious. Hange cocked their head to the side. You could see the cogs turning in their head as they worked out what exactly the issue was.

“Oh! Don’t worry, you’re absolutely fine. But if you don’t want that…” Hange lifted themselves above you, cupping you through your underwear. “Would something like this make you more comfortable?”. They smirked as you let out a squeak before nodding eagerly.

Hange leaned in, laying hungry kisses against you as they played with your clothed clit. The whines you let out against their mouth only made them increase the pressure through the fabric of your underwear, and you could feel their smirks as they did so. As Hange’s mouth travelled further south to latch onto a pert nipple they took the opportunity to slip a couple of things through the elastic of your underwear, stroking along your folds and now aching nub. You attempted to cross your legs at the sensation as you were already beginning to feel worked up and sensitive. Amused by your squirms, Hange let out a small giggle and moved their free hand towards your other nipple. You could already feel a build-up, a hot and heavy sensation as your lower abandon appeared to coil and tighten. They then slipped two digits inside of you, ensuring their thumb remained circling on your clit as they arched their fingers inside of you. Your soft moans became deep and shaky, you were sure you were getting close to your release.

“Hange~” you purred. Your words were golden to your lover, and you could feel them relentlessly pick up the pace until you reached out to pull their hand away from you.

“y/n?” Hange asked breathlessly against your chest.

“I want to try something together,” you cooed. Hange looked at you, their face both full of lust and curiosity. You began to reposition yourself, so you were now over Hange. Giving a cheeky grin, you pulled down their trousers and underwear. You then quickly whipped off your own underwear, leaving the both of you completely naked with no barriers between your skin. Manoeuvring Hange onto their back, guiding them to rest upon the abundance of soft cushions at the top of the bed, you nudged their knees apart to reveal their glistening sex. Hange was already wet and raring to go ahead with whatever you had planned. After a few strokes of your fingers against their folds, you positioned yourself between their thighs so that your own pussy was aligned with theirs. You reached your lips forward to suck and lick Hange’s tanned nipples before pressing yourself against them, rocking your hips back and forth; your clits throbbing as your slick rubbed against each other.

Whilst still sucking at Hange’s breast you reached under them and pressed their back up, increasing the pleasure below. It was a strange position, something you two hadn’t tried before, but neither of you were complaining. Undeniably, this level of intimacy was appreciated considering recent events. You couldn’t help but moan out, and you shot a look up towards Hange’s face which was contorted in pleasure as they let our their own breathy moans. To add to the intensity, you slipped one hand between the two of you, stroking your fingers against either of your clits. You turned your focus onto Hange, although both of you were feeling incredibly sensitive.

“I love you; I love you,” you moaned. You could feel the knot within your tummy releasing, and you clamped your eyes tight shut and moved to mark Hange’s neck with dark bruises. With a few more thrusts of your hips Hange soon released against your own fingers, letting out a shrill wail as they did so. You held Hange in a tight embrace, arms wrapped desperately against each other as if you never wanted to let go and basked within each other’s post-orgasm glow.

After your breaths levelled out and you calmed down, you flopped to Hange’s side on the bed. You scooted over, bringing their back against your chest as you spooned them. Continuing to wrap them tight in your embrace, you left quick desperate kisses against their throat whilst letting out soft words of affirmation against their skin.

“I thought I’d lost you,” Hange sighed, squeezing your hands as they rested against their chest. You left a gentle kiss against the back of their head and nuzzled into the crook of their neck.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, I never want to put you in that position again,” You said, beginning to stroke at Hange’s hair. You wiggled further up the bed and laid Hange’s head onto your lap once again. As you looked down at them you felt nothing but pure adoration. However, as Hange looked up at you you could see the beginnings of tears in those big brown eyes. They gave your hand a soft squeeze.

“Please tell me you’re going to stay for the next experiment. If you don’t I’ll just have to fight Erwin to keep you for myself,” they exclaimed, all traces of previous sadness now gone from their face as they punched their arms into the air.

“I promise I’ll stay. Anything for you, my titan crazed maniac,”. You planted a soft kiss against their forehead and relaxed back into the pillows. “We really should shower though”.

“Do we have to?” Hange groaned against your lap, barely audible against your legs. Even now you were convinced Hange was hydrophobic, but you knew exactly how to lure them into a warm clean shower.

“I mean, we could shower together?” you said, your voice sounding tempting. This clearly piqued Hange’s interest as they looked up with a cheeky grin.