#this was lowkey kinda ass i feel like i went more ooc (for my perception) than i wanted

[amiharana]

My thoughts are still plagued with revalink streamers au 🛀😟🪑

THE EMOJISKDJFD i miss streamers au too </3

i'm thinking about the champions coming back for another round of Love or Host with link as the bachelor of the game. at this time, the CSMP is in full force and is gaining popularity at an exponential rate, the champions are now a well-established streaming group, and revali and link are now in their weird bickering/flirting stage where no one really knows if they're being fr and both revali n link are starting to realize they might? have? feelings? for each other? i've decided that for this au, kohga is going to be fulfilling the role of austinshow (this one's for you lucha john---baptist i love u)

if you've never heard of Love or Host before, it's kind of difficult to explain if you've never watched it?? if you have some time to spare, here's a link to a video of quackity's LOH when he participated a couple years back. but basically, it's like a livestreamed dating show where one person is the "bachelor" looking for love and the other contestants are competing to "love" or "host" — "love" meaning they are also looking for love and "date" after the show (it's not serious though, it's just for the drama. they don't actually end up dating if they don't want to lol) whereas "host" refers to looking for fame and wanting to get their stream hosted to get more views or something. idk it's kind of weird but still a fun twist to dating shows.

link gets invited by TheKohgaShow (this shit has me howling i'm sawryy) to be the bachelor for this round of LOH, since he's one of the most popular streamers at the moment. he agrees because why not and tries to get the rest of the champions to apply to be contestants for the game. daruk and urbosa call off because they aren't comfortable with the idea of possibly playing for link's hand romantically given their age gap, but they are livestreaming the show on their own streams and providing commentary, but mipha and zelda are fine with it. except for revali because he's a party pooper :]

"this is ridiculous," he grumbles over their discord call. "why are you going on that show again? wasn't meeting there enough?"

"it would be fun!" link insists. "it would be funny to see how much our dynamic's changed since we all first met on LOH. it's not that serious anyway, bird brain. unless you're scared you'd fall in love with me?"

"shut the fuck up," revali snaps. thank goddess he has his camera off right now because he can feel his cheeks beginning to burn. "the whole event is just... asinine. i didn't even want to be there the first time, and i still don't understand why you would want to go back."

"don't be mean, revali," comes mipha's voice, soft and cheery like a little bell. "it is just a casual event for fun anyway."

"and you could get a leg up over link by choosing host," urbosa muses. "you don't have to choose love, you know—"

"i'd eliminate him before he could try," link snickers.

"shut the fuck up," revali repeats, scrunching his nose up. "the entire format of such a show is just absurd. all dating shows are. none of it is genuine and it's all for drama and views anyway. there are far more productive ideas of substantial quality that could achieve the same goal."

"revali, it's really not that serious," link says, rolling his eyes and sitting back in his chair. his camera is on and revali can't help but follow the movement. "whether you apply or not, i'll be there as the bachelor. just don't get jealous if i do find love there."

daruk guffaws and mipha titters on the other ends of the call, but revali's jaw tightens. he wouldn't actually care if link found love on that stupid show. he wouldn't.

(once the notification that applications are open drops, revali applies and interviews for a position on the show in the next two hours. he gets it. after he logs off for the night, he realizes that doesn't really know why he ended up applying, but urbosa is going to bully him so bad when she sees him on the show tomorrow.)

the show goes live on kohga's channel the next day at noon, with the final contestant lineup as follows: revali, mipha, zelda, sidon, yunobo, paya, beedle, pikango, regan, and traysi. (in canon, regan is an npc who left lurelin village and who you can save from monster attacks, and traysi is the girl who writes the rumor mill articles left around hyrule). revali scoffs at the roster; if link was really looking for love, this wasn't exactly a group of prime pickings. (sorry to miph n zel. revali loves them as friends even if he won't say it out loud, but he knows they've been seeing each other on the downlow. LOL). when kohga starts the show and has everyone turn on their cameras, all of link, zelda, and mipha's eyes bulge out of their heads when they see revali in the roster. he rolls his eyes at his friends' reactions and tries to keep a straight face. his phone is buzzing with messages, probably from all of the champions in their shared gc, but he keeps his eyes on his computer screen.

i'm too impatient to write out a whole bunch of scenarios of link getting to know everyone and eliminating people and shit, so here's a bullet point list of ideas instead

surprisingly, link goes for zelda's head to bicker with first instead of revali (he didn't think revali would actually apply so now he's nervous), and he threatens to eliminate zelda in the introduction round. they bicker for a full a minute, escalating until kohga has to step in and stop the fight

sidon is absolutely flirting with link and link is flirting back. revali's face grows even more sour as he watches the whole exchange. his phone buzzes again, and this time, he can't help but check his phone. it's a message from urbosa that says, "Hey, Link told you not to get jealous if he finds love on the show." he rolls his eyes and reacts to the message with a thumbs down. whatever.

traysi pisses everyone off right away from how annoying she is. it's going to be a real surprise if link doesn't eliminate her right away.

pikango, regan, and beedle are all smaller streamers that link has interacted with in passing or has collabed with before so they're playing a game of catch-up for the few minutes they talk. something about how casually link talks with them irritates revali. he doesn't know why.

paya is a smaller streamer who voices in the nearly most inaudible voice ever that she's been a big fan of link's content. "awhh, thank you, that's very sweet of you," link says, smiling kindly at her. a vein twitches in revali's temple.

when link finally gets to him, for a moment he stares with wide blue eyes and if revali squints hard enough, a faint pink flush dusting his cheeks. "revali," link says. "fancy seeing you here."

"you should fancy me at every point in the day, no matter where i am," revali replies smoothly. flirting bickering with link is an instinct at this point.

link laughs. "i don't think i want to or ever will," he says, resting his chin on his hand and smiling into the camera.

"well, trust me," revali says, the corner of his lip curling up barely as he sits back in his chair. "by the end of this, you will." shit, where did this bravado suddenly come from?

but link's eyes widen and this time, the pink flush revali thought he was hallucinating makes itself known. kohga makes an "oooooooh" and ends the introduction round, introducing the premise of the next round, but link and revali are still staring at each other, watching each other's webcams.

(later, a clip of zelda rolling her eyes at this moment of time goes viral. she qrts the originating post with "these two are going to make me homophobic.")

LIKE I SAID I'M IMPATIENT I JUST WANNA WRITE THE SCENES I WANT TO SEE so yadda yadda yadda the elimination order goes traysi → regan → pikango → beedle → yunobo → paya until mipha gets eliminated and zelda votes herself out in an act of solidarity, telling revali to win for the honor of the champions LOL. only sidon and revali are left, so kohga alots 10 minutes for each contestant to go on their final "dates" with link and prove that they should be the one that link chooses.

sidon goes first and it's very cute :) he's very gentlemanly and sweet and talking about where he would take link on their first date, and just some sappy shit about how he'll give link the world. link is very enamored with him and his promises <3 leaning on his chin and gazing dreamily at sidon while he talks, sidlinkers are going nuts in the chat

but when it's revali's turn for the "Date", ohoho....... a tension so thick you can almost taste it develops in the call and the stream the moment sidon is taken out of the call and revali comes in and unmutes. link immediately straightens from his leaning posture on the desk and he's on high alert, chewing on his bottom lip and watching as revali settles into the call. revali looks relaxed and nonchalant, the complete opposite of the electricity beginning to fizz throughout link's veins. the timer has already started, but neither of them say anything, just staring at each other in the call.

"are you going to say anything or are we just going to stare at each other for 10 minutes?" revali finally says, the corner of his lip curling up just slightly into a hint of a smile.

link rolls his eyes and scoffs. "i would, if i had anything to say that you deserve to hear," he replies playfully. he resumes his initial position of placing his chin on his hand and leaning into it, smiling into the camera with half-lidded eyes.

"is that so?" revali says, raising an eyebrow. "do you mean to say that i'm leaving you speechless right now?"

link gives revali a look through the camera. "i have plenty to say, thank you very much."

"then say it all," revali says, his smirk growing a little bigger. "or do i make you too nervous to speak?"

"shut up," link responds, squinting. and they continue bickering for another 3 minutes, before kohga steps in to re-navigate the conversation back to the "Date".

"okay, okay, fine, revali where would you take me on our first date?" link says.

"i would take you to the top of a tall building and throw you off," revali replies smoothly.

link slams his head on his desk. "are you ever gonna give me a genuine answer?" he groans.

revali rolls his eyes. "i suppose i could attempt entertaining the subject of the question, just this once," he sniffs. then he sits back and looks up, crossing his arms and humming thoughtfully. "if i ever felt the desire to take you out, it would be an all-day endeavor."

"all day?" link says, tilting his head to the side. his curiosity has been piqued; sidon's first date plan consisted only of a dinner and a late-night walk in the park. "you'd plan the whole day for a first date?"

revali gives him a look. "do you think so lowly of me that you think i'd half-ass our first date?" he says snippily. "perhaps some reminders are in order for you; i actually care for the quality of my work, you know. i'm more than happy to welcome you to my twitch and youtube channels to assist in the rejuvenation of your memory."

link returns revali's look. "just continue."

revali hums and settles back in his seat. "right, well before i was so rudely interrupted," he says, "i would utilize the entire day for our date. we'd start with brunch at the new cafe in lanayru promenade, because goddess knows you are not a person of the early morning."

"i could wake up early if i really wanted to, thank you very much," link grumbles. "but lanayru promenade?"

"you mentioned that you've been wanting to try it in the discord calls..." revali says, voice petering off and he looks away. he actually didn't think about what his plan would be if he took link out on a date. he hasn't! it's not like they'd ever date in the first place! but the words just keep spilling out of him and he can't stop... "but that you haven't had a chance. i think you'll like the hylian mushroom toast. it's just as absurd of a meal as you are."

when revali looks back at the screen, link's eyes are wide and he's staring intently back at him. "yeah?" he says. "and what do you have planned after that?"

"i'd take you to the great plateau museum," revali continues, rather softly. "i heard they're opening up the temple of time ruins to the public again. you said you had been waiting for the opening for a long time, but you weren't able to get tickets because the exclusive opening sold out."

"you remember that?" link says. his eyes are wide, shimmering in surprise. "i only said that in passing and that was months ago..."

"well, unlike you, i actually listen when people talk," revali says, finding his bite again. but now he's nervous; why did he remember that? and why did he bring it up as part of the date? "we'd likely be there for the rest of the afternoon, and for dinner, we'd eat at 'sanidin'."

"mm, that's fancy," link muses. "you have 'sanidin' money?"

revali shrugs. "being a quality streamer and youtuber pays when you actually put the work into it."

"is that supposed to be a read?"

"if the shoe fits, you can wear it, darling."

"oh, shut up—"

"and for the grand finale of the night," revali swiftly cuts link off, "i'd take you to my favorite spot in the city and admire the stars." he says it with a level of finality and the call goes silent, as if link and kohga were waiting with bated breath for revali to continue. but he doesn't.

"and where would that be?" link says quietly, his voice almost a whisper.

revali tries to imagine link with him under the cherry blossom tree at the satori observatory park, the night breeze tousling his golden hair. revali tries to imagine link smiling up at him with that pink flush dusting his freckled cheeks and nose, wide blue eyes sparkling. he tries to imagine wrapping an arm around link's waist to pull him close and— surprisingly, it's not hard to imagine at all.

revali leans back in his seat, the barest trace of a smile across his lips. "that's for me to know and for you to find out, if you choose me," he says.

and link pauses and blinks. "what," he says. "you can't just cut your plan off like that when—" the timer signaling the end of the "Date's" duration rings. link stops mid-sentence, mouth agape as kohga unmutes and calls the time. "no, wait, i— he wasn't done—"

"the ten minutes are over, link! play fair!" kohga cackles. "it's time for you to choose your final contestant — one to keep, and one to eliminate! alright chat, we're going to set up a poll for you to guess who link is going to choose, while link DMs me his choice—"

the chat is going fucking nuts, full of #SIDLINK and #REVALINK, people have already clipped revali's entire date plan and it's going viral on twitter, they're #1 on trending, both of their mentions are blowing up, the champions gc is just full of urbosa and zelda teasing revali, and revali is starting to sweat. what if link doesn't choose him? it would be embarrassing if link didn't and that clip of revali talking about their hypothetical first date was just always held over his head. not that any of this is real anyway. he and link would never date. they wouldn't! he's just in it for the views... right, the views...

"okay, chat, everyone!" kohga announces. "link, it's time to make your final decision! according to the name that link has DM'd me... the one he's carefully spent time with and chosen... the winner of this round of love or host..."

"are you going to continue to drag this on?" revali drawls into his mic, but his heart is slamming against his chest. "i think we'd all like to find out who won within this lifetime, you know."

"stop!" kohga whines. "it's for the dramatic effect! you wouldn't understand, this vocal craft of pausing was carefully passed down from my father's mother's father!"

"you are going to become the 'father's mother's father' of your great grandchild by the time we find out who link chose," revali replies wryly. "get on with it, will you?"

"hmph," kohga sniffs. "no appreciation for the arts whatsoever. the winner of this love or host is..." kohga's mic is suddenly full of the sound of paper being shuffled around. "in a strange twist of fate, revali!!!"

revali blinks as kohga screams wildly and sidon smiles good-naturedly, clapping politely. link is smiling but he's averted his gaze away from the camera. revali thinks his face looks a little pink. he wasn't actually expecting to win.

"congratulations on your victory, revali!!!" kohga yells. "however! remember that the contestants had the opportunity to choose either 'love' or 'host' in this game. and sidon chose... love!!!"

sidon tilts his head to the side and smiles again. "i think we would have made an excellent pair if you chose me, link," he says. "i wish only the best for you in the future. thank you for allowing me the opportunity to play with you."

"oh goddess, why did you phrase it like that," link says, turning red and covering his face with his hands. kohga wheezes in the call.

sidon blinks. "what do you mean? i meant playing the game with you."

after sidon is removed the call, it's time for kohga to reveal what revali chose, and now link is the one sweating. he thinks back to the discord call from yesterday, where urbosa said that revali could choose host just to ridicule link. if link knows revali, he knows that revali would take any chance to do so. and why would he choose love anyway? he was probably just bullshitting the whole date idea (which somehow makes link wilt internally; it sounded like a really nice date idea, too...)

"the results are in!" kohga says. "before the show began revali had the chance to choose love or host: love as in looking for a chance to fall in love with link, or host for a chance to get hosted and get those views in! the time has come for us to finally reveal the choice that revali made before the show!"

"it seems to be that i've made a choice before the show started," revali says dryly, and link snickers. "i wonder what the choice was about."

"and revali chose...!" kohga continues, pointedly ignoring revali's comment. there's more papery shuffling behind the mic (why is kohga shuffling papers? both revali and link made their choices over dm), and suddenly a loud, prolonged gasp. "he chose love!!!"

while kohga continues screaming over the mic, link's eyes widen and he blinks. it's revali's turn to not look at the camera, rubbing at the back of his neck. the chat is exploding with messages, "HE CHOSE LOVE???", "get it link lmao", "REVALINK IS REAL".

afaik it's customary for the two people to go on a "date" after the show ends if the contestant chose "love", and by "date" i mean they just sit in a call together and livestream it. idk it's kinda weird KDJHFDKJ but link and revali do exactly that, the livestream gets moved to link's twitch channel and it's just him and revali's cams side by side on a screen, the both of them just silently staring at each other while the chat blows up. neither of them know what to say, fucking losers KJHDFJKD

"so... you chose love?" link finally says breaking the silence. "i didn't expect that from you."

"i had the element of surprise on my side," revali replies. "there's not a better feeling in this world than catching you off guard as much as possible."

link snorts. "you're such a dickhead. i really thought you weren't going to apply for the game."

"call it a change of heart." they're both silent for a couple moments, just staring at each other. the chat is still going a million miles per hour. link's camera quality is so good, revali might be able to count all the freckles on his nose if he really tried.

"were you being for real about your date idea?" link says next. his voice is soft, uncertain, and revali is unnerved by it. link never sounds this vulnerable...

revali waits a beat. "it's real if you want it to be," he answers vaguely.

link's mouth curls up into a smile. "even the dinner at 'sanidin' part?"

revali rolls his eyes. "i told you, caring about the quality of your content pays well. don't doubt me."

and the blond giggles, a sweet sound (that unbeknownst to revali, softens his expression on camera to which revalinkers immediately clip and post onto twitter). "okay. i'd like that, then."

"okay," revali repeats softly. "let me know when you're free, and it's a date."

"it's a date," link echoes, smiling bigger. they're quiet again for a couple moments, link's cheeks turning pink and revali beginning to fidget. "we still on for CSMP tomorrow?"

"of course, we need to build bigger and better spaces for medli and epona. i grabbed some vines from our last trip to the jungle for medli's room, and i think we should add more hay bales to epona's. you're practically starving her, you know."

"i am not!" link says indignantly. "i feed her so many golden apples. how dare you accuse me of starving my child."

they continue bickering for 10 more minutes about their minecraft plans, and then sign off for the night. after link ends his stream, revali sits back in his chair and sighs. what a simply asinine day.

"feeling okay?" link says. revali almost forgot he was still on the call with link and that he still had his camera on. link's eyes are as wide as they always are, shimmering blue with a look of concern on his face.

"i'm fine," revali says. "love or host was longer than i remember."

link hums. "yeah, i guess." he chews his bottom lip for a moment, then continues in a quiet voice. "did you really mean it? the date?"

revali pauses and blinks. "as i said, it's real if you want it to be." the thought that link might want to back out instead makes his heart sink. "unless you don't want to—?"

"i want to," link says firmly. "i want to go on that date with you. if you want to, too." he adds the last part quietly, shyly, unsure. revali doesn't like it.

"then we'll go through with it," revali says softly. "as long as you want to, then... i wouldn't mind going out with you either."

"okay," link whispers, eyes impossibly wider. "okay. let's do it, for real."

revali snorts. "are you sure this time?"

"yes i am, birdbrain, let's fucking gooo—"

"shut the fuck up," revali replies, but a smile is growing on his face. "i'm logging off. you should too and rest up. you've had quite an interesting day."

"you and me both," link says. "bye revali, have a good night. and... thank you."

"mm, a good night to you as well." link waves at him and revali waves back, letting himself smile a little wider. he disconnects, shuts off his computer, and goes to wash up and get ready for bed.

(as he settles for the night in his bed, the distinct sound of a discord notification pings from his phone. revali grabs his phone and checks the message:

Discord master streamer zero 💯 gn vali :] <3

revali snorts and taps on the notification, beginning to type into the app.

Revali 🪶 Goodnight, Link.

and after a moment's hesitation:

Revali 🪶 ❤️ [😧][🫶][⁉️]

Revali 🪶 Dumbass.

master streamer zero 💯 YOU SENT A HEART IM KDJFDKJDFJKD

Revali 🪶 Goodnight, Link. [🫡][😴][❤️]

revali shakes his head, snorting again, and puts his phone down settling into bed. perhaps today wasn't as asinine as he originally thought it was.)