#this was legit SO FUN i kinda wanna dig into everyone's natal charts now lol

[sugarcanehoes]

DAN BEING A BOOBS GUY VS ME BEING A PRE OP TRANSMASC WE'RE MEANT TO BE. PROBABLY. dude i want to hear all about the kinks you think he has... so easy to dom him i bet. hed laugh so nervously and get super super awkward if you started flirting with him... type of guy to moan if you playfully hit him... type of guy to start whimpering if you pushed your knee into his crotch... i NEED to fuck the shit out of this man im so glad there are like-minded people out there LMAO

- 🦠

great minds think alike 🦠 anon 🤝🤝🤝 you and me are the bearers of the truth 1!!

ngl when i first read this ask i thought you were asking about dan’s natal chart and i got all excited and wrote This Whole Thing ™ and now i reread your ask and i feel dumb LOL but i’m gonna put this here anyways with a TL;DR at the end so you can skip the astrology shit if you want :) 

mandatory disclaimer that i’m not a professional, this is just for fun, idk what i’m doing, yadda yadda 

so! usually when we don’t know someone’s birth time we just use noon to have an estimated chart, but since i like to do asteroid readings, i tried to guess his rising sign so we would have a more ~accurate~ estimative. from what i’ve read i believe he’s a sag rising bc of his easygoing, child-like, laughs at everything personality - also very tall boi with very long legs - but since i can’t know for sure i won’t be going into too much detail about it. it’s more a way to narrow down his birth time so we can be nosy lol

he has venus in leo in the 9th house. venus in leo ppl like to be the center of attention even if they’re shy so this can translate into dan liking to be the main focus of his partner’s attention during sex, also explains his raging praise kink since he wants to be worshiped and praised for doing a good job. i couldn’t find much about the 9th house but it gives off a reckless vibe so maybe he’d be into public sex ??? something like teasing him under the table while out on a date or calling him a good boy in front of his friends just to see him getting flustered lol also has to do with thighs so he might be into you sitting on his lap and/or grabbing his thighs during sex. i also read that 9th house has a ~foreigner~ thing to it so that also explains why dan is such a weeb (he 101% has jerked off to anime multiple times. he probably prefers watching hentai rather than porn)

mars in libra in the 10th house made me GIGGLE. every time i sniff out a sub they always have either libra mars or cancer mars. it’s funny bc 10th house is usually seen in a dom’s chart but mars in libra has never failed me. libra mars is all about the funny unsuspecting harmless guy that makes you laugh so much that before you know it you’re naked in his bed lol truly giving off “i’m innocent uwu” vibes to charm you. apparently 10th house also has smth to do with public sex (!) and the thrill of getting caught so dan is somewhere out there jerking off at con bathrooms silently hoping one of his friends knocks on the stall to check if he’s still alive. 10th house is all about control so for me this means he likes to be controlled i don’t take criticism !! and also orgasm control. and also maybe authority figures. 

he doesn’t have any signs in his 8th house but his chart is like precisely divided in half at his 8th house placement so he has both cancer and leo energy in his 8th house, which is the house of sex (among other stuff that we don’t care !!). 8th house in cancer also makes me giggle. tell me this man doesn’t have a mommy kink i DARE YOU. also where the boob guy thing comes in, possibly even a breeding kink, so so SO whiny and desperate it makes him look pathetic. one thing about dan is that he is Possessive, type of guy to get jealous so quickly, one (1) person looks at you in public and suddenly his mood soils and he wants to go home. again leo placements just further confirming his praise kink!!! me and you anon? we’re never wrong. 

also something something big dick something something it probably looks good something something pornstar dick something

NOW LISTEN. PLUTO IN SCORPIO 12TH HOUSE. ooooh this man is FREAKY freaky. type of dude to have a sex dungeon at home. type of dude to have a full side of his wardrobe dedicated to sex toys. type of dude to look at someone and be able to guess their kinks just by looking at them. type of dude to learn astrology just to pry into other ppl’s sex lives- oh hold on. i’m just saying he probably has a proship nsfw side acc LMAO he’s one of us fr !! pluto is the planet of sex, desires, secrets, everything that is forbidden etc and scorpio is knowingly The Sexy Sign of the zodiac so imagine my face when i saw this. literally giggling and kicking my feet. a man who likes sex so much that sometimes it might even be a little overwhelming. btw feet? 12th house thing, so i wouldn’t be surprised if he’s into that. 12th house and scorpio are also water based placements so think shower sex, sea sex, might be dedicated to make you squirt… perhaps also a piss kink that he’s ashamed of, since pluto is the secretive part of oneself… taking notes rn

idk much about aspects but he has pluto in sextile aspect with his chiron in virgo (which is about our deepest struggles and how we can heal from them), sextile is a positive aspect, and considering he has pluto in 12th house (house of the unconscious, fears, dreams, and anything relating to the psychic mind), maybe he finds refuge in sex in a way. maybe sex is (or could be) his way of letting go of fears and shame and trauma. maybe the only way he can truly feel free is by embracing his freakiness!!! [chants] one of us one of us one of us

lilith in gemini!!! quite literally speak to the mic. loves dirty talk, moans like a bitch in heat, yknow the drill. gemini also runs the hands and i read someone say “lilith in gemini might have a kink for sucking their partner’s fingers” and my heart LEGIT SKIPPED A BEAT. you know this man is on his back with 3 of your fingers in his mouth whining and looking up at you with big eyes just waiting for you to say he looks good like that. mhhmhFgNFFMHMGF i’m going INSANE i need him in ways that are concerning for society.

asteroids are my favorite part! starting off strong with eros in aries. eros is the asteroid of… well, eroticism lol typically ppl associate eros in aries with a dominant but for dan i think it’s more a case of “is so much of a sub that he would dom if his partner told him to” lmao again possessiveness and public stuff coming in, and also a very bratty attitude, type of guy that pouts when he gets jealous. aries also rules the head so pull his hair! grab him by the chin! make him look into your eyes as he sucks you off! sit on his face! there’s also a thing with casual hookups so that’s why i said he’d fuck on a 1st date asbhdgjhb (and now knowing he has pluto in scorpio this kinda ties it all together). 

ASTEROID LUST IN CANCER MADE ME SCREAAAAAAAAAMMM this asteroid’s name is self-explanatory i guess hashdj also where i got the boobs guy impression, since cancer rules the chest. just furthers the mommy kink, breeding kink narrative. read somewhere that it can also relate to mirror sex and 69 so. there’s that on that. again, very submissive, wants to be taken care of, will curl up in your lap and say please, mommy while touching your chest !

ALSO. HIS EROS IS IN 4TH HOUSE. 4TH HOUSE IS THE HOUSE OF CHEST, PARENTAL FIGURES, AND DOMESTICITY. HIS LUST IS IN THE 8TH HOUSE WHICH IS THE HOUSE OF SEX, GENITALS, SECRETS AND FEARS. HELLO??? DOES ANYONE HEAR ME???? [jay’s voice] sicko.

i pried into other asteroids as well but this is already SO FUCKING LONG OMG so i’ll leave that to another time LOL if you’ve gotten this far i applaud you and i hope you had fun reading all of it!! <3

TL;DR: praise kink, mommy kink, breeding kink, boobs guy, shower sex, public sex, jealous & possessive, can be a brat, is the freakiest among freaks, probably has an anime sex doll.