#this was just an excuse to show u guys the itty bitties

[name-that-isnt]

Bbtag chibi carminecore moodboard (I'm currently dedicating my entire life to this guy)

[bowievanfleet]

it's you [jake kiszka]

pairing: jake x oc (sort of, they have a nickname but y/n still applies!<3)

genre: angstyyy, fluff, enemies to lovers >:)

warnings: mentions of poor mental health and overthinking, cursing, itty bitty tiny mention of skin picking, arguing, emotional whiplash, crying, i am very bad at plot development and dialogue

word count: 4k

inspired by it's u by cavetown :)

a/n: guys!!! its been so long!!!! and i am back with a DOOZY. i don't know what possessed me to write this, maybe the copious amounts of rain we've been getting here is getting to me lmao. but, i am very, VERY happy with how this turned out. this is prob my favorite thing i've written to date. it'll probably be edited/rewritten over time but nothing too dramatic.

also, i'd like to say that the idea to give the reader a nickname to kind of personify them was 100% inspired by the lovely maddie, @hearts-hunger <3 go read her stuff NOW because she's so insanely talented its not even funny. also shoutout to my love @emadamssssssss for helping me out with pepper's backstory. everyone say thank u em!! anyways im done rambling now, i rlly hope u enjoy this. <3

also yes i had to have my little star wars moment at the end. i will not be taking questions or criticisms.

SONGS (v important for this one) its u- cavetown / climing up the walls- radiohead / chinese satellite- phoebe bridgers / i'll be seeing you- billie holiday / lilac wine- nina simone (jeff buckley version also works!)

-----

“oh god, it’s you...”

-----

you genuinely didn’t know why you were there. 

something, maybe an invisible string, or a magnetic field, dragged you to his door at 2 am. you stood in the pouring rain, the water mixing with your own tears pouring down your face. you didn’t have any idea what possessed you to come. you tried to go through the reasons in your head: on the outside, you convinced yourself that he was a last resort, that because no one else was picking up the phone, he was the only one you had left to go to.

“better to be with him than by yourself where you would do something stupid.” you would tell yourself, when in reality, you had only called one other person, josh. who didn’t answer likely because he was passed out on his couch with a bottle of tequila on the coffee table, you knew that was his routine on saturdays. you didn’t have the energy nor courage to call anyone else, which led you to your second reason: 

that realistically, deep inside of you, you knew the reason you had gone to him was because you simply wanted to be with him. you had to do something to satiate the hunger you had been feeling for the past two weeks since you saw him at one of josh’s stupid parties. your body craved him, your mind craved him, every single cell in your body craved him, and it was embarrassing. 

you guessed it was perfect timing, your racing brain giving you a perfect excuse to go to someone. it wasn’t just the fact you wanted to be with him, you needed to be near anyone. if you sat there on your bed, staring at the walls for one more second you knew you were going to break. 

you were overthinking more than you ever had before, mostly about him, but also about everything else. it was all getting too overwhelming, you desperately needed contact with someone, something. it was pathetic to be showing up like this, but what else could you do? text him? “hey, i’ve kinda been thinking about you every single waking moment for the past two weeks, can i come over?” the more you thought about it, the more you realized that even that would’ve been better than standing at his door in the pouring rain. 

you don’t know how long you stood there, contemplating if you should knock or not, 

before he took it upon himself to make the decision for you. you jumped slightly as the door jerked open, earthy eyes taking in your state with a confused and concerned spark in them. 

you were confused as well, until you remembered that doorbells with cameras existed. you looked over to it, silently cursing it. you looked back to the eyes staring at you, and realized what a contrast you two must be. 

he looked the softest you’d ever seen him, in a pair of plaid pajama pants and an old oversized guns n roses shirt. his face had a golden glow to it, courtesy of the various wax warmers and candles that were placed on almost every surface of his home. they reflected off of his eyes, making them seem almost caramel instead of the dark brown you would often see. 

it softened them, turned them from a stony tigers eye to a dark topaz. the sight of him and the energy radiating off of him was almost enough to stop the tears streaming down your face, but then started them all over again as you realized how gentle and beautiful he was. how pathetic was that? his beauty brought tears to your eyes. 

his facade was gone, he was no longer cold and cocky, dark and stoic. he was looking at you like he didn’t want to rip you to shreds for once. 

you had only seen this once before, when he was drunk at josh’s house and you were the only two left in the living room. he was falling in and out of sleep on the couch, and after watching him for a while, you finally trotted over to him and draped a blanket over his half-asleep body. his eyes snapped open at you, but they weren’t hostile. they were almost... loving. appreciative. adoring. 

you went to stand up to go to the guest room, but he caught your hand before you could get too far. you stayed like that for a moment, watching him stare at your hand in his, then with a slow, deliberate stroke of his thumb against your hand, he gently let go. 

he looked at you for a split second, and then rolled over on the couch, bringing the blanket up to his chin and cuddling around it. you spent all night wishing he was beside you in the guest bed.

“...pepper?” he asked tentatively. you were snapped out of your thoughts by the nickname he had assigned to you so long ago. you thought for a second about the stupid name he had reserved for you- 

you were friends with josh for a while before you got introduced to his family. you were college roommates, and one night he finally decided to invite his brothers over for dinner in your apartment. 

you decided you’d make a hearty meal of kraft mac n cheese, but with added seasonings to make it “gourmet” as you and josh liked to call it. 

when you were mixing up all the seasonings, you put in a little too much pepper than needed, but you panicked and just started mixing it around, trying to even it out as much as possible. 

when you awkwardly served everyone, waiting for their reaction, jake was the only one to speak up. “jesus christ this tastes like shit” he said. everyone immediately turned to look at him with wide eyes, surprised and embarrassed that he would be that outright. 

“what?!” he shrugged. “just being honest. if you're gonna make dinner for us at least make it good.” he said, but continued to eat the pasta anyway. 

josh looked at you sympathetically. “it tastes fine y/n, just a little spicy.” he reassured. and it turned out, by the end of the night, everyone’s half eaten bowl of mac n cheese ended up on the counter next to jake's empty one. 

if you had known him better, you would’ve teased him relentlessly. but instead, upon doing the dishes, you smiled fondly at the empty bowl. the first of many small signs that there wasn’t all hostility between you two.

that didn’t make the name stick, however. what made “pepper” become official was at one party the twins had thrown. you and josh were busy setting up everything beforehand, while jake was on a beer run. “what do you wanna start out with?” josh asked, flaring his hands dramatically toward the family’s extravagant vinyl collection. “hmmm...” you debated, kneeling down to scour through the records. once you found what you were looking for you demanded josh to turn around, wanting it to be a surprise. you carefully placed the needle on the black disc, the opening sounds of sgt, pepper’s lonely hearts club band ringing out into the spacious living room. 

josh instantly turned around with a grin, taking your hands in his obnoxiously, the both of you starting to scream out, “IT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO TODAY, SERGEANT PEPPER TAUGHT THE BAND TO PLAY!” 

you loved moments with josh like this, screaming out songs you both loved, not a care in the world. you always felt so alive. that was, until you heard the door open, choosing to ignore it until you saw his figure stalk through the doorway. 

he gave you a simple scoff and an eye roll, before quickly taking the bags in his hands to the kitchen and returning to the living room archway, leaning against it in a manner that made you want to storm over there and kick him. 

“you’re just pepper all the way around aren’t you?” he teased, you flipping him off while josh muttered a “shut the fuck up, jake.” 

you started toward the kitchen to start setting the drinks out, jaw clenched in irritation. 

why did he have to ruin everything? you were having a great time with josh, your own sunshine, before the rain had to storm in and drown it out. 

“awe, did i make you upset, pepper? i’m sorry.” he mocked, fake pity in his tone. “just fuck off.” you gritted, tring to focus on getting the drinks set out. “of course pepper, anything for you.” he teased, raising his hands in surrender and stalking off somewhere else in the house. 

-

you stared at each other for a long while, almost talking with your eyes. 

after a moment, his flashed with a gentleness you had never before seen in your entire time of knowing him, not even that night on the couch, and the only thing you knew, right then and there, was that you needed to be in his arms. 

you let out a shaky exhale, “jake-” you sobbed, all but lunging toward him. your body crashed into his, your arms winding around his middle and your head finding a home in his neck. 

he stood frozen for a second, obviously not expecting your sudden action, but after half a second of hesitation, he closed his eyes and let you melt into him, wrapping his own hands around you slowly, one belting around your lower back to keep you upright and the other going to the back of your head, threading through your hair and scratching your scalp lightly. 

he would switch between scratching your head once he figured out you liked it, and slowly rubbing his hand over your hair, smoothing it down. 

the two actions made you cry even harder, your hands finding their way up his body and around his neck, trying to get as close as humanly possible to him. if you had it your way, you would melt your body into his. you wanted to mold him for the rest of time, to never ever let go, to always have his body pressed to yours. 

you knew this was the worst thing you could ever do, because the second this was over, you’d never be able to live without touching him again. you’d need it like you need air to breathe. every second of every day you'd need it. how would you be able to go on after this? constantly craving his arms around you, his hands anywhere and everywhere on you, his breath letting out soft puffs against your skin. you didn’t want to even think about it right now, so you let him hold you while you held him. 

he must’ve felt the same way about letting go, so instead of pulling away, he took his arm off your back to close the door softly, immediately returning it. 

he walked backwards to the couch, sitting you down without ever loosening his grip on you. he laid back, pulling you with him as he pushed your face gently into his chest, giving you something to cry on. 

you laid there for what felt like hours, even though it was probably only ten minutes, before all that was audible anymore was your occasional sniffle and his gentle breathing. 

“y/n...?” he whispered, still stroking your hair. “yeah?” you squeaked, bracing yourself for the arguing and embarrassment and teasing to start. but it never did. 

“what happened?” he asked, concern evident in his voice and you knew he genuinely cared about your response. but that scared you. why would he care about your feelings? it surprised you that he was even touching you right now, let alone asking about you. 

it was an act of human decency that he usually didn’t show. jake kiszka couldn’t give two fucks about anyones feelings excpet maybe his brothers’.  

you leaned up on your hands, hovering over him. you stared at each other again, his hands finding a home on your back, yours resting on either side of his face. you slowly sat up, forcing his arms to drop from you. 

“i’m sorry. i don’t know why i came here. just- no one else was answering and it was all getting too much and i just didn’t know where else to go and-” 

“hey.” he interrupted, grabbing your hands from where they came up to cover your face. “i don’t want you to apologize i just.. want to know why you came to me.” he said, trying to choose his wording carefully. 

you chewed on your lip, trying to come up with an answer before you realized the only one you had come up with involved being vulnerable, and you were absolutely not in the right state for vulnerability right now, despite the fact you had just cried into his chest. 

you got up and walked to the kitchen, searching for water and trying to buy a few minutes. you knew exactly where he kept them, so you grabbed one and went back to sit on the couch, further away from him this time. he noticed this, a flash of disappointment coming over his face. 

he looked at you as you drank your water and set it down, being the most patient you’ve ever seen him. 

you stared at nothing for a moment, noticing how his hands clenched and unclenched, as if he was yearning to touch you again. you were yearning too, but you couldn’t touch him again until you knew for certain that this wouldn’t be the only time.

“jake...” you trailed, both of your eyes holding so much intensity. he gave a look of realization, finally reaching to grab your hands like he had been so desperate too. you flinched away instinctively, you were going to keep your word on not touching him again. you started to get frustrated, “why do you all of a sudden care so much? you should’ve just fucking told me to go home the minute you saw me.” 

that cold facade slipped back on his face, a look of confusion and disappointment taking his face. “did you just want me to leave you out there in the fucking rain?! cause i would’ve been glad to do that if you really wanted me to, you should've just said so.” 

“well you’ve never cared before!” 

“i’m not heartless y/n!!” he hissed, pointing an accusing finger at you. 

“you think i am but I'm not. i just don’t see the point in wearing it on my fucking sleeve all the time.” that hurt. you’d always been a very outwardly emotional person, it was one of your biggest weaknesses, and to hear it being used against you stung like hell. he saw that comment affected you but he kept going. 

“if i was heartless, i wouldn’t have sat here and fucking held you like i did. as much as i fucking hate touching you, i did it to comfort you. because i'm not as cold as you think i am y/n.” your head snapped up, something he said catching your attention. 

“why do you hate touching me?” you inquired, brows furrowed. he shut his eyes for a second, before he dodged the question. 

trying to be as soft as he could again, he spoke, “why did you come here, pepper?” 

you thought for a second. “i don’t know. i just needed someone. i couldn’t be by myself anymore.” 

“why not?” he questioned, curiosity gleaming in his eyes. 

“because my mind would’ve driven me insane.” you admitted, looking down at your hands in your lap, picking at your nails. 

you were hyper-aware of the fact that you were slowly drifting more and more towards him. 

“what were you thinking about?” he questioned softly. 

“jake i can’t do this right now. i can’t talk about this.” 

“then i ask again, why did you come here?!” he almost begged for an answer. you finally looked back up at him, trying to distract yourself with the melting chocolate of his eyes. somehow he must’ve known your answer, he could always read you like an open book. 

he could tell that you two were on the same page, you just weren’t ready to be that vulnerable with him. so, he gave you a head start.

“you wanna know why i hate touching you?” he asked, his voice tense. you sniffled and gave a nod. he leaned in closer to you.

“because you, you are so fucking addicting that if i touch you i almost can’t let go. you have no idea how hard it was to let you go just now. i’m so hopelessly desperate for you, pepper. now, i have a good idea of why you came here. but i need to hear you say it, baby.” the pet name pushed you over the edge, and before you knew it, the tears were back and you were babbling out your confession. 

“it’s you, jake. it’s always been you.” you sobbed, leaning forward to press your forehead to his chest. he finally reached up to your hair again, almost audibly breathing a sigh of relief when his hands finally made contact with you again. 

“and i’m scared. i’m so scared of how i feel right now. its a need- i need you. i need to be near you. but i can’t- we can’t. we’re not good for eachother, we never have been jake. we bring out the worst in each other.” 

“i know, i know.” he soothed. “i feel it too y/n, i’ve always felt it. from the moment i saw you. it’s terrifying.” he agreed, and all you could muster was a small nod in understanding. 

“you make me want to be better. sometimes that feels good, the fact that i can change for you, to make you happy. but a lot of the time... it feels like it’ll never be enough.” he confessed. “jake, i don’t expect you to change for me. i don’t want you to.” he soaked in the words, leaning down to rest his cheek on the top of your head. 

“you know, i think you bring out the best in me. you know damn well i wouldn’t do this with anyone else.” he chuckled. you let out a small laugh too, leaning more into his chest. “jake im so scared. t-this feeling... it's so strong, too strong. why do you do this to me?” you begged. “i could ask you the same thing.” he said, hugging you tighter. 

“we have so much to work out before we can do anything. i mean we can't even go 10 minutes without arguing. jake we hurt each other too much.” you reasoned, trying to convince yourself more than him. 

“love is supposed to hurt, isn't it?” he countered. 

love.

you knew that’s what it was, you were just far too scared to actually address it. loving someone that had been heartless and selfish to you for the past 7 years wasn’t possible. but if it wasn’t,  then why did you feel the need to have his body near yours at all times? there was a part of you, and you could feel it in him too, that needed to have the pain soothed by him. it was like a fire burning in your stomach, and he was the water to put it out. his arms were where you were supposed to be. forever.

“we can’t walk away from this anymore, baby.” he added, making your body shake again with sobs. that's all you wanted to do. you wanted to run away and never see him again. 

that way, maybe the fire would die out and leave tiny embers that could be satiated by someone else. but you knew. you knew no one could put it out but him. he was the only one that possessed the right water to extinguish the flame of yearning in you. and you knew you were the only one to put out his.

and so, you let him hold you as you cried for the second time that night, grabbing at each other to get impossibly closer. you knew there was no going back now, that you were about to walk off the diving board and never get back up. but you wanted it. you knew you needed it. 

“there’s too much going against us.” you borderline begged. begged him to find a way out of this, begged him to push you away, to kick you out, to do something to  stop it. vulnerability was your worst enemy. 

“pepper. look at me.” he demanded, forcing your head up with your chin tucked between his fingers. “something has been drawing me to you for nearly 7 years. i’m not walking away from it now that we’ve finally got it out in the open. we have to move on. what’s past is past, and what we have now is everything we need. what are you scared of, darling?” he asked gently. 

“...vulnerability.” you admitted. he let out a sigh, maneuvering you so you were in his lap. “it's scary isn’t it, pepper?” he soothed, running a run up and down your back. you nodded pathetically. curling into him more. 

“you know what irritates me the most about you?” he asked, but not hostile. you scoffed. “everything?” you guessed. 

“no. not everything. there's a million little tiny things, but not everything. the biggest one though, is no matter how hard you try, you can't hide. no matter how much you duck and run, i would be able to pull you out of a crowd of a million people. no matter how hard you try to keep your head down and blend with other people, you can’t, not to me. you stand out like a goddamn star. that's what irks me the most." he said softly. 

“am i supposed to take that as a compliment?” you laughed. 

“mhm. it’s painful for me but you should know. sometimes i feel like you and me are the only two people in the room. you drown everyone else out.” he confessed as your eyes filled up with tears again, but not sadness this time. 

this time, it was an overwhelming blanket of love that draped over you. 

the relief that you were wanted by him. that you stood out to him as much as he did to you. you lifted your face from its place on its chest, resting your chin there instead so you were looking up at him. 

he softly took a strand of damp hair from your cheek, tucking it into place behind your ear. “see? i was vulnerable with you. now its your turn.” he encouraged lightly. 

you looked up at him for a second more. the words were on the tip of your tongue, running through your brain over and over again- iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou 

you finally found your voice: 

“i think i love you, jake.” you stated, voice faltering near the end. he cupped your jaw in his hand, 

“i know.” he nodded, his eyes filling with tears too as your hands threaded through his hair, clutching at every part of him you could reach, as your lips finally melted into his.

[doodle--writes]

Temptations- Adult Eddie Kaspbrak X Reader

Word Count: 2968

Warnings: Cursing, smut, alcohol

Request: Hello! I was wondering if I could request a smut for adult Eddie Kaspbrak please? Maybe where the reader is a member of the losers club and her and Eddie had crushes on each other when they were younger and those feelings came back when they met up again at the restaurant. Maybe have it be set towards the end of the film and Eddie survives and figures what the hell and just gives into his feelings. Thank you so much in advance! ☺️

___

When Mike had called, you were in the middle of teaching a lesson to your fourth period class. At first, you had let the phone buzz in your purse. The second time, you let it buzz again. The third time, you sighed, just throwing the answer key to the previous night's assignment under the ELMO to let the kids check their own work.

You pulled out your phone and answered. "Hello Ms. L/N speaking- if you'd please call at a later time- I'm in the middle of a lesson."

"Y/N, it's Mike."

The class had gone quiet so they could try and hear your conversation. You gave them all a slightly scolding yet somewhat amused look as you stepped out of the classroom. Outside, you spotted a teacher with her plan period across the hall.

You hurried over, phone still near your face but not quite pushed against it.

"Hey Diana," you smiled nervously, "can you take my class for a few minutes? They're juniors, it shouldn't be much trouble."

Seeing you had your phone, she nodded with a small smile and wordlessly stepped into the classroom.

You started walking towards the teacher work room and put the phone back to your ear. "Hello, yes, I'm sorry about that. I had to leave my classroom," you sighed. You lightly shook your head and forced a smile although the mystery man on the other side of the line wouldn't be able to see it. "So, I don't believe I know a Mike. Are you sure this isn't the wrong Y/N?"

"I'm positive. It's Mike Hanlon, from Derry. We used to be friends."

"I-" you paused, something starting to poke at your memory. You began to walk a bit faster, heels clicking viciously against the tile floor. "You were homeschooled weren't you? Had a little farm?"

"There we go. You remember."

"Yeah I do," you hummed softly, now wondering why on earth he was calling you after... how long? ... 27 years?

"It's back."

When you woke up, you were laying on a sickbed in the school infirmary, your legs just barely fitting on it. You moved your legs to the floor and sat up. The room spun a bit but it slowed down after a few moments.

You didn't remember much after that other than the pain as you collapsed in the middle of the hallway and hushed but panicked voices nearing.

_____

A few footsteps shuffled in and began to bombard you with questions over whether or not you were alright. Truthfully, you weren't and you'd say you weren't, but with a totally different explanation.

"Oh you see, I had a family emergency. My mom... she..." You struggled to come up with an excuse since your mother had passed away about a decade prior.

Luckily, one of the staff members, Diana from earlier, changed the subject. "How many days do you need off?"

The flight and arrival in Derry was all blurred to you. You were shocked you had managed to function like an actual human being. Or at least you thought you did; you couldn't say for certain.

"Maybe a week," you smiled small, but you hoped, you prayed it was less.

_____

Although as you entered the Jade Orient, part of your sanity seemed to return. You were clearheaded as you talked to the hostess, mentioning that you were there for a party of eight.

She gestured back towards a seating area that was blocked off by a wooden screen. You were hesitant to enter, there was no doubt about that, but you stepped in and gave a sigh of relief. There was no jump scare or moment of shock; just faces you knew that had aged over the years.

Mike and Bill were engrossed in a conversation that made both of their eyes light up. You overheard something about Bill's writing- oh yeah Bill was a famous writer now- and Mike's library.

Now, the other two were antithetical in comparison; Richie and Eddie were sitting across from each other, making fun of each other, bantering.

You smiled to yourself. Just like old times.

Richie was in the middle of a 'your mom' joke before he looked up and whistled. "Oh damn who is that thiccums over there?"

Working with high school students, you knew exactly what that meant and you turned red, shaking your head, but unable to stop smiling. "Keep it in your pants Richard." You held your arms out to hug him. "But get your ass over here and give me a hug."

Richie nearly leaped from his seat, tripping over his gangly legs, and wrapped his equally long arms around you.

It felt weird having Richie, who used to be shorter than you, stand above six foot and hug you so tightly, but it felt nice.

After he pulled away, he laughed. "Shit, you're showing me up. I got the dad bod and here you are with childbearing hips and an itty bitty waist."

You laughed embarrassedly. "Oh Richie you're flattering me."

You turned back towards the table, ready to speak but you stopped yourself. Staring at you was a slender but sharp face with inquisitive eyes as big as a Disney princess. His nose had sharpened in angles over the years but very faintly you could see familiar freckles from sunshine trailing over both cheeks and his nose.

He smiled at you and you smiled back, feeling the heat of a childhood crush fill your cheeks. "Hi Eddie."

He was up on his feet in an instant, pulling you close and into a hug that was almost too tight. Just almost. Yet you found your embarrassment fading and your cockiness growinf. "Miss me that much?"

He pulled away almost immediately, rambling over how it was "so amazing to see you" and how you "grew up to look exactly like your mother".

You rolled your eyes but your smile stayed as you went to squish his cheeks. "And you haven't changed at all," you cooed.

And you drank. Richie drank. Bill drank. Mike drank. Even Eddie, who had scolded you once or twice for underage drinking, drank to the point of delight.

He lightly pushed your hand away before you turned to the rest of the group, laughing. "I don't know about you guys, but I need a drink!"

______

When Ben and Bev arrived, they joined the festivities.

You didn't quite remember how, but you ended up in Eddie's lap, giggling, feeling like a teenager again. He felt the same as he had an arm lazily wrapped around your waist.

He kept his arm there as he walked you back to the townhouse; neither of you felt like it was suitable to drive back with how drunk you were.

The walk upstairs was jovial as you swung your hands together and laughed even though no jokes were told.

But the air changed once you had reached the top. Eddie's bedroom was closest and you weren't sure if he dragged you in or if you had pulled him in, but that didn't matter at all.

As soon as the door was closed, arms were wrapped snug around your waist, a chest surprisingly tough pressed against yours.

Eddie was staring at you, mouth barely agape, breathless. Inside he was panicking some but God he knew he wanted this.

"Tell me to stop," he warned.

You returned his look, but yours carried a smugness to it; like you were confident in the first place that things would go accordingly.

"Don't you dare stop."

With that, Eddie's mouth slammed against yours in a way that threw you off guard entirely. Eddie, as long as you had known him, had been somewhat pristine. Sure, he could be as loud as Richie and much angrier, and he was no Stan, but Eddie always had a neatness to him.

So to see him do something so intense, so sloppy took your breath away.

You kissed him back with a similar if not equal force that made your lips tingle and burn.

Your arms planted themselves around his neck; your hands grasped onto fistfuls of hair just as soft and thick as it had been before Eddie even hit puberty.

Eddie pulled away slightly, your lips maybe a centimeter apart, foreheads pressed together. "Maybe we should move this to the bed?" He phrased it more so as a question than a statement.

You nearly agreed, but you remembered something. "Eddie, we can't. You're married." You pulled your arms away from him and stepped back. "I don't care if your marriage isn't going well. I don't want to be the one to make you cheat." You looked to the ground, feeling as if you had sobered up.

Eddie stepped back a foot and tried to look anywhere that wasn't you. "Y-yeah, right. Sorry, I think I drank too much."

"I did too." You slowly made your way closer to the door before you told him, "have a good night, Eddie."

The following hours and days, you weren't exactly sure how long the process of killing a demon clown was, were grueling. Yet, all of you made it.

He mumbled something in return, but you didn't hear it because you were already down the hall.

_____

Yes, there were extremely terrifying moments that made you feel like you pissed yourself. Like when: Bill nearly drowned in water, Richie got put in the deadlights, Mike tried to get you all to do a ritual that killed the original casters, Ben had more shit carved into his stomach, Bev nearly drowned in blood, Eddie was stabbed in the fucking face, and you nearly suffocated at one point.

You took joy in watching the house on Neibolt Street collapse into itself. That house that had haunted you for nearly three decades was finally gone.

You looked around at your friends. Everyone was dirty and covered in blood of their own or even someone else's. "Hey guys," you began, "how about we go swimming?"

A small chorus of delayed and tired 'yeah's followed. All of you walked through town, ignoring those who looked at you like you were insane.

About halfway there, Eddie squirmed his way next to you and reached out for your hand.

After the quarry, you all went back to the townhouse, deciding to rest up before you'd all inevitably leave Derry once again. Only this time, you wouldn't forget. You'd remember your friends and go on in life with them as your friends.

You let him.

___

Quietly, you walked to your room and as soon as you could, you took a long shower. You took great care in getting all of the blood and dirt off of your skin. You washed beneath your nails. You spent time carefully working the knots out of your hair.

Once you were out, you walked to your luggage, going through it for anything comfortable. You wondered if you had left some things from a previous trip inside because you did not remember packing lingerie.

You thought about it for a moment before saying fuck it and you put on the lingerie with a small satin robe over it.

Just as you tied the robe, a knock came on the door. "Y/N, may I come in?" It was Eddie's voice.

"Yeah come on in, Eddie," you called, going to sit on the end of your bed.

Eddie carefully opened the door, and peeked his head inside before he completely appeared. You noted that he was wearing gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. You had never seen Eddie in sweats before and you weren't complaining at the change.

Eddie's cheeks went red at the sight of you but he sat next to you nonetheless.

"So I called it off with Myra."

Those were not at all the words you expected.

"Woah Eddie, I'm sorry." You reached out to put your hand on his shoulder.

He sighed and turned toward you. "This week made me realize something. Well, more accurately, it made me remember something." He takes one of your hands between his own. "I care for you more than anyone else. You make me laugh, you make smile, you make me brave. You do all these things to me and I know what that means. I think I've known since we were kids." He looks into your eyes. "I love you."

You practically tackled Eddie, knocked him back onto the mattress and kissed him. It was a soft kiss, but it lingered as you cupped his non injured cheek with your hand. "I love you too Eddie. So much."

You kissed him again, slightly harder this time and planted yourself to where you were straddling him.

It didn't take long for you to feel something underneath you. Just the thought of it was enough to drive you crazy.

Just like Eddie had said once before, you looked down at him and said, "tell me to stop."

He quickly shook his head. He wanted this even though he wasn't exactly sure what all of this entailed.

You leaned down to kiss him once again before dragging your lips down to his jaw. You found a spot that made his breath hitch in his throat and decided to mark it, gently biting and sucking until you left a deep purple mark there.

Eddie groaned before switching gears. You were the one laying on your back as Eddie kneeled between your legs. "Can we get this robe off?"

You leaned up a little before untying the robe and tossed it to the floor.

Eddie took a moment to stare at you. You wore baby doll lingerie; essentially a type of intimate nightgown that's usually see through.

That's exactly how yours was. He could see your nipple starting to poke at the fabric, stretching it.

He reached down and gently squeezed your chest, earning a shaky breath. He moved to cup your breast, his thumb tracing your nipple. You whined a bit at the feeling of lace scratching over it and the feeling of Eddie's hand.

It had admittedly been quite a while since you had the touch of someone other than your own hand or a Hitachi so you felt extremely sensitive.

In a swift movement, Eddie pulled the fabric away from your chest entirely and replaced his thumb with his tongue. You moaned quietly as he began to work on your chest. His hand found its way to your other breast.

Your legs tried to clench but Eddie sat between them and once he felt that, he moved his attention downwards.

He moved back and grabbed the waistband of your panties. He looked at you. "May these come off?"

You nodded. "Yes take them off. Please."

He gingerly slid them down your legs before tossing them onto your robe.

He leaned down between your legs but didn't use his mouth yet. Instead, he tested the waters with one finger, first rubbing your clit, which earned a whine. Then he stuck a finger in to see exactly how needy you were. The answer? Very.

Eddie began to methodically finger you while his tongue flicked against your clit repeatedly. Just knowing that Eddie was the one doing it made your heart beat fast and your head dizzy.

"Eddie," you moaned, "more."

With that, Eddie added a second finger and began to curl them inside of you, earning a somewhat loud gasp. You put your hand over your mouth, fully aware that Richie's room was the next one over and man you did not want that conversation tomorrow morning.

It didn't take long for you to tangle your fingers in Eddie's hair and chant his name. He ate you out more viciously, his fingers pumping in and out at a rate that made you dripping wet.

When your orgasm came, you bucked your hips up, moaned into your hand, and squirted. Luckily Eddie was out of the way by that point. You knew how he was about bodily fluids but he didn't seem to mind right then.

He leaned down and kissed you. You were much more eager in the kiss as you tried to get over the high of your orgasm. He whispered praises into your ear and after a moment, you switched it over again.

Now Eddie was beneath you as you slid his sweats and boxers down in one swoop.

You looked at Eddie. "Do you care whether or not we use a condom?"

He shook his head, surprising himself. "Not at all."

You whispered a small "thank god" before lining yourself up with him. You slid down onto him with a lewd mew.

Eddie's hands found themselves on your hips, lightly squeezing. A nearly lightheaded feeling washed over you, but you admittedly wanted more.

You brought your hips back up before sliding down onto his cock again, making both of you groan.

You rested your hands on his chest as both of you whimpered and groans at each slap of your thighs against his torso.

It felt like an embarrassingly short time before your thighs tried to clench around him.

It felt embarrassing for him as well once he began to feel the coil in his stomach tighten.

You came with a rather pornographic moan and your walls tightened around Eddie. The sensation was enough to finish him off, making him cum.

Breathlessly, sex drives and overall shape not as great as it used to be, the both of you lay down.

You find yourself cuddling into Eddie's chest as one of his legs lazily lays over your own.

Eddie sighs happily. "Well that's like a wet dream come true."

You giggle. "And one hell of a way to start a relationship."

Eddie smiles softly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

[ohwhoopsok]

I'd like you to consider an aftg ship (not rlly related to tuk I just wanted to know what you thought of it): dan/matt/aaron

You know what!! I saw a fic with this ship a while back and I didn’t get it at first until I got into working on TUK and thinking about Aaron defrosting around the other Foxes. My main ship for Aaron is probably Katelyn, but I’m a filthy multishipper, so in short, dan/matt/arron? yeah, sure!

First kiss comment fic for your thoughts?

Ok, so I mean, to start Aaron was there for The Colombia Fiasco and saw Matt come out the other side. Out of all the Foxes, they’re the two that have done the long crawl back from being addicts and are pretty solidly sober. They would really understand each other on that end if they’d ever get to the point of needing to/wanting to talk about it.

But then they get softer around each other, all three of them. And I mean they’ve all been happier, but Dan is seeing Matt and Aaron get closer, become actual friends. Being little The sparing helps, too, because Matt loves it and Aaron is actually getting better (and Matt loves when he teaches someone something and they get it) and Matt’s science grades are getting better (and Aaron smiles when Matt comes in waving a test paper with 100% on top). Dan loves seeing this.

So she says, hey, bring him around, he’s welcome here, too. And I feel like Aaron would be a little sheepish around Dan, I’m not sure why, but she finds it cute and Matt notices and finds them both c u t e but doesn’t say anything about it because he’s Straight™ of course. And Aaron probably wouldn’t appreciate the implications. And also he and Dan are monogamous.

But life is funny like that, because Dan notices him getting awkward trying to Not Think Gay Thoughts (or think about his girlfriend and his New Boy-Shy Friend together) and basically whispers something in his ear that makes his pulse stumble, then says, “it’s ok, we’re ok.” And well, alright then, they’re ok. “Are you ok?” …He thinks he’s ok.

(Aside: He’d tell Dan about the men, his father’s friends. Because it didn’t mean anything to him, he was too strung out to give a fuck, it didn’t even feel sexual for him, he wasn’t thinking “this is gay” he was barely thinking “this is happening” so he’s never really considered himself with another guy. Dan listens to him, he works out the I-could-kill-whoever-hurt-you furrow in her brow because it doesn’t matter now. She lets that rest and says, “It’s not them you’re thinking about.” And no it’s not… He’s ok.)

Them actually getting together would probably be a fluke because honestly, because Matt genuinely never planned on saying shit to Aaron about his lil itty bitty teeny weeny crush. It was just something for Dan to tease him about and for him to laugh at himself about.

But maybe Aaron and Katelyn break it off and he closes ranks with the Foxes, starts hanging with all of them more?

Either way, one day it’s just the three of them, in the dorm on the couch, watching TV and just relaxing. And they’re all close, because Aaron wouldn’t say touch starved aloud, but he doesn’t have to. Dan’s laid out, got her legs tangled in Aaron’s and he’s twisted so he’s slumped under Matt’s arm and it’s all just…nice.

And maybe it’s corny. Maybe Matt turns to say something about the show and Aaron is just right there in his face and his heart sort of jumps because well ok there’s been a lot of cuddling going on as of late, but he hasn’t been thinking about it like that, but now Aaron is looking at him sort of wide-eyed and close and shocked when Matt’s eyes drop to his lips.

They both start to say something at the same time, nonsense syllables, an explanation, an excuse, a question, but Matt remembers Dan saying “it’s ok” and she’s here and it’s ok, if Aaron’s ok–

Matt kisses him.

Aaron jerks back and Matt’s stomach lurches. But he’s not getting violent, he’s not screaming at him or jumping up to leave, to get away from Matt. He’s just got his hand clenched on Dan’s ankle, staring at him in shock.

More nonsense syllables, the start of a dozen jumbled apologies, questions, explanations, before Dan says, again, “It’s ok” and Aaron whips to look at her, “If you’re ok, it’s ok, Aaron.”

And Aaron looks sweetly lost before he turns back to Matt. “I thought you were straight.”

Matt’s gotta laugh at that, albeit a little hysterically. “So did I.”

Aaron is holding onto Dan for dear life, so she sits up, scoots closer to him. Takes his hand. “Are you ok?”

And Aaron takes a second to think about that, turns slow back to Matt. He keeps his hand in Dan’s, leans forward with the something closer to the boldness they’re used to from him, even if his lips are uncertain on Matt’s, it makes Matt go warm with want and relief.

And now they’re making out on the couch and Matt’s head is spinning because this is really real and Aaron’s heart is pounding against his chest and then Dan’s hand is on Aaron’s neck and he’s making a sound and Matt has to stop right now because he can’t breathe, wow. But when he pulls back Aaron is turning to Dan’s, scarlet red and gratifyingly breathless as she smiles and kisses him too and wow wow he’s gotta flex his legs and think about exy and garbage cans and dog shit because he’s not trying to get hard right now but holy fuck.

“Ok,” Aaron says, like five times, “Yeah, I’m ok. This is–wow, ok.”

Dan laughs and kisses him again, “Good to know,” leans past him to peck Matt, too. Then she lays back on the couch like it was nothing, like it was normal.

Matt is legitimately half hard and Aaron is still breathing unsteadily, but they really settle back into the comfortable warm place when Aaron mumbles. “I thought I was straight.”

And they all start laughing so hard Matt can barely get out, “So did I.”