#this was entirely driven by a single scene I thought of lol

[chaosduckies]

Rising Tides (Chapter 3)

Whatttt resurrecting an old mer may fic from three months ago I totally didn’t forget about? Couldn’t be me haha-

But, this is for a very important reason…

Part 1 of 2 of my bday present for @da3dm!!! Happy early birthday 3D!!! :3 I hope you enjoy this because Idk- this was entirely driven by a single scene and I just had to somehow make it lead up to that… But I hope you enjoy it and to everyone who read :3

Word Count: 4.1k

CW: Talk about being a monster, uhhh I think that’s it (if it isn’t please let me know)

3- Nico 

It’s been three days. Three days of not being able to swim. Three days of being taken care of like some pet. Three days of not speaking a single word. 

Three days since I’ve been away from home. 

I was beyond homesick. I missed my parents, I missed my little shell collection I had along some makeshift shelves. I missed exploring the small coral reef right by my house. Why did I have to travel all the way out here in the first place? Just because I wanted to get away from town for a while? This was so much longer than a while. The worst part about it was that my tail wasn’t any closer to being all healed up. I actually think it was getting worse. 

I wasn’t able to get off the little area he had me in. The prison basically. I was scared that if I complained he would just keep me in a worse place. Like his mouth-don’t think about that now. There was also the problem that I wouldn’t be able to swim anywhere if I decided to swim off the mini platform. Maybe just glide over to somewhere, but that’s really it unless I was willing to crawl along the floor. I really want to get off of here though.

The thought stayed in the back of my mind. Honestly it would be worth it just to be outside. Since the giant mer didn’t seem to notice that I was getting tired of being in the same place doing nothing the entire time. Every time he was in the same room as me, I would hide myself in the tall seaweed or under that rock. Did I know he could very easily see me? Yes. Yes I did. Did I fear that he would and could just grab me and eat me at any moment? Only all the time. But he hasn’t. Yet. Which I was grateful for. 

Even if there was nothing to do, I still kept myself busy. I looked around the many, many rocky places, seeing if I could fit in all of the tiny caves. There was only one I couldn’t. Sometimes I’d mess with the big coral pieces and find a place comfortable to lay myself on and just fall asleep. I preferably liked the yellow brain coral since it had so many little branches for me to hang on to. What? I couldn’t swim so I had to figure out a way to entertain myself. 

At the moment, I was wrapped around some of the corals’ branches and laying down, trying to fall asleep. It was midday but I had nothing to do. I could go look for some more of those colorful rocks, but I didn’t really feel like it. At least not right now. I had a pile of them by that rock that I’ve made like a temporary home. I had wondered if I should try and make like a pathway with them, but that was stupid. 

I still had yet to learn the giant mers name. He’s never bothered to tell me, and he hasn’t bothered to ask me either. I didn’t really care though. This would all be over soon. My tail would heal itself up and then I can go back home, tell my parents what happened, and never, ever come out here again. Scratch the plan of living outside the community. Now I know why people stayed inside. 

The giant mer swam into the room, making me immediately try to scramble myself out of the coral I managed to tangle myself up in, only to find that I couldn’t get loose. I was stuck. Upside down, watching as the mer slowly turned my way, squinting. Right. I was hidden behind some of the seaweed. Was that a good thing in this case? I would think so since I didn’t really want him to see me so pathetic. 

I struggled to lift myself back up in the same position, rushing to get out before he sees me, but it was no use. If I tried to move my tail it would only sting me, leaving it burning for a couple seconds. I didn’t want to make my wound worse than it already was. I stole another glance to the mer, who was still trying to find me. I was guessing he used my tail as an indicator, but currently I was in a huge tangled up mess (Thank you me). I doubt he would see me unless he actually tried looking, which he would b doing pretty soon if I don’t get out. 

I already know how he does things. The other day, I was hidden pretty well. My tail behind my back and hidden in one of those tiny cracks in the cave walls. He was just supposed to pass by, but he took a quick glance over at where I was supposed to be, and when he couldn’t find me after searching for a while, he came really, really close and started digging through the place. The only reason he stopped was because I had finally stuck my tail out of the hole, hoping he’d stop digging around everywhere. He did, not saying a single word as he swam off. 

This was a different case though. I knew he’d find me after some searching, but I didn’t want him to laugh at how ridiculous I probably looked right now. I mean, even I thought it was crazy how I even managed to get myself in this situation. He might help after he’s had his share of laughing, and that was something I wasn’t ready for. He might hurt me, or he might just take me somewhere and finish me off. He might see me as weak and incapable of surviving on my own, so he’d just have mercy on me. Please don’t think about that right now…

Just as I had said before, if he couldn’t find me after a while, he’d check. Which was exactly what he was doing right now. I clasped a hand over my mouth when his hand hovered above, lightly pushing some seaweed away and looking closely at the tiny cracks in the wall. What do I do. What do I do. What do I- 

I let out a tiny squeak when his gaze flicked over right to me. My body instinctively started trembling as I tried my hardest to hide my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his large digits move away from the overgrown seaweed, which only made me assume the worst. 

“You’re stuck?” His voice was calmer than usual. I still didn’t give an answer. Even if it meant he’d just be angry at me for it later, I couldn’t answer him. I tried one more time to move my tail to get free on my own before he tried anything, but I winced and jumped when the stinging ran up my spine. Great. This was just great. 

“Stay still for a second.” He had ordered, and I listened. Not moving a single inch except for my entire body trembling as I saw those huge digits reach for me. I would have tried to swim off if I could. Sadly, my tail was not up for the task. I bit the side of my cheek as hard as I could to take my mind off the fact that he was just pinching me, not very lightly, against only two of his fingers and untangling my tail. Not very gently either. The stinging pain ran up my spine again, twice as bad, making me taste blood on the side of my cheek as I bit down even harder to hinder the pain. My arms were pinned to my sides at the moment, not making this any easier. 

As soon as he let go of me, I pushed myself up against the rocky wall, trying to calm my breathing down. Just two fingers and I can die-I shook my head, covering my face again and studying my now-free tail and how nothing that wasn’t already gone was there. 

“You’re welcome.” Was all he said before swimming off outside, leaving me alone. I grabbed a fistful of the sand below me, biting my lower lip, “Thank you…” I muttered, but he didn’t hear.  

———Callum———

I swam fast towards the ship yards, where there were tons of human ships. Some were larger than others, but otherwise they were just a little bigger than one of my hands. The two things they had in common? They were all broken, and they also happened to be homes to some sharks and large fish. The ones I usually proffered to eat. It was okay when I couldn’t find any, since they usually hide in the daytime, but they tasted so good. Since I was one of the bigger mers, I didn’t really need to eat much. Maybe once or twice a week. So, it’s not like these fish are rare or anything. 

Of course it was funny to find the tiny mer tangled up because of his tail, but I wasn’t about to laugh in front of him. I’d bet he was already scared of me finding him like that, and if I laughed that would have made things worse than they already were. He might think I’m some sadistic being. A part of me also felt sorry. It probably hurt him a lot being like that when he was… handicapped. He even tried getting himself out before I could help. Was he really that terrified of me that he’d rather hurt himself than let me offer some kind of help? 

Then again, I haven’t really been all that welcoming. 

It’s been a while since I’ve been around other mers. A couple years. The only one I’ve been around had been Archer but that was only because he kind of took me in as a pup. Otherwise, mers were usually too scared to approach me, and when they do by accident they leave just as soon as they come. It’s not like I don’t want to be around people, it’s just that it’s hard for me to make friends when no one can even stand being anywhere near you. 

I looked around for the fish, but there was no sign. Sighing, I headed back to my cave home. I was surprised the little mer hasn’t tried to escape yet. Sometimes I’d catch him collecting some of the rocks and placing them in a pile, or he’d be crawling around, barely ever moving his tail to push him forward. I didn’t know what he was doing when he was just crawling around. I do remember finding him in one of the tiny cracks in the wall, so maybe he was just messing with those? 

Did I feel bad? Yes. He couldn’t swim. At least not yet. For a human, that’s like not being able to walk. I felt so bad. Even worse because I was just keeping him in that same spot. I would offer to take him outside the cave, but I was afraid something might happen. I couldn’t live with that guilt! Not to mention he was deadly afraid of me. It’s not like I try to be scary. I’m just really… big. Probably intimidating to the little mer. I cared a little bit for the mer, partly because I could have definitely helped him out before his tail was mangled by a shark, but also because I felt incredibly bad. Again, he can’t swim for a while and that’s basically like a human losing their legs. But also because I’m pretty sure his tail will never heal. 

Why I think that? Because it’s been a while, and I’m pretty sure there should’ve been some kind of attempt at swimming, but the little mer still jolts and flinches every time they move their tail awkwardly or something brushes up against it. Which meant they might never be able to swim ever again. I would never wish that upon someone no matter how many times they’ve called me a monster or threatened me. Not being able to do the one thing you were capable of must be heartbreaking. I have no idea if the mer was getting better or not, but I guess all I could keep doing was trying to keep them alive. 

So no matter what this mer thinks of me, I would just have to hope that I was wrong and they can eventually start swimming on their own soon enough. It hurt to see them trying to swim everyday, not getting anywhere and too afraid to leave the little place they were in. I really wouldn’t care if I were being honest. Just as long as they don’t go outside without me they would be fine. I jus offered the rock as a place for him to sleep and stuff. Though, I guess he couldn’t even swim around the place, possibly only glide to one place and crawl along the sand and rocks the rest of the way. 

My eyes turned to the mer, currently hiding in the small patches of seaweed and lying on his back. Maybe I should take him outside for a while? But wouldn’t he be scared of me? I mean, based off of what happened earlier it didn’t look like he wanted to be touched. Well maybe because he’s like an inch tall compared to you. That might be it, but something kept telling me that it wasn’t just that. I guess there was no harm in trying, I mean the worst he could do was just deny my offer. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings if I were being honest, but for some reason some part of me really wanted this mer to trust me. 

I didn’t know if that was because I knew what would happen if his tail doesn’t heal up, or because I’ve just been lonely for so long. 

I slowly swam up to his little spot, watching his bright purple tail go underneath the rock he always hides himself in. Again, I wouldn’t just rip it out of the ground, its obvious he doesn’t feel safe without it. I bit the side of my cheek, letting out a sigh. 

“Hey, uh, would you like to go outside? Like, just to see something different?” I reminded myself to keep my voice quiet, watching as he curiously peaked his head out. My eyes widened, but that was quickly replaced with my usual tired look. The mer wiggled himself out of the tight hiding spot. I have no idea how he fits himself in there, but it amazes me. A part of me was shocked that he even willingly swam out. 

He laid on the soft sand, debating his answer, or maybe figuring out how to find his voice, before he finally spoke, “Y-you won’t… hurt me, right?” My normal response would have been to growl since that’s what everyone asks me when they first see me. Just because I’m big and look scary doesn’t mean I’m going to murder you in cold blood. Instead, I shook my head, slowly lowering my hand because I doubt he’d like it if I just grabbed him. No matter how much faster it would’ve been… 

The mer eyed my hand, clutching sand in their fists before crawling cautiously closer. I kept still, just watching carefully as they tried to hoist themselves up but couldn’t. Everytime they tried they winced, looking back at their tail but kept on trying. I was growing impatient, but I also felt sympathy. I mean, this is just another bit of proof that the little guy might never swim again. I sighed, moving my hand away and scaring them. Maybe I should learn their name? Since now they would have to stay longer than we had both initially thought. 

“What’s your name anyways?” I had asked, coming out a little too harsh than I meant it to be. They had moved back away a little bit, though it didn’t really make a difference to me. 

“N-Nico.” He whispered. I barely caught it before smiling in accomplishment, quickly replaced by by usual resting face, “Callum,” I watched him mutter my name under his breath and nod to himself like he was trying to remember it, “I think it’d be faster if I just… grabbed you.” A slight warning that caught Nico off guard. 

I wanted to do this quickly, but sadly I don’t think Nico was up for going fast. So instead, I reached down slowly, hearing a little squeak that almost made me laugh. My finger slipped underneath, raising him up a little and pinching him between my thumb and pointer. He squirmed a bit, trying to push himself out and looked panicked. Was I doing something wrong? Too tight? I loosened my grip, watching him slump and take long, deep breaths. Right I should probably get better at that. 

“Sorry…” I apologized, fixing him in my hand so his arms slumped over my pointer and thumb gently securing him so he wouldn’t slip out while I was swimming. Would this mean I have to swim slower? Probably. I might be a little… strange for Nico though. I mean it was for me all together. I’ve never been around such a small mer, and I was just surprised that he hasn’t screamed out of fear yet. It was obvious that he was having a hard time to bury that fear though. Of me. I winced to myself, giving the little mer time to adjust himself. 

I felt weird. To be near such a small being besides fish and the occasional sharks that pass by the area. I wasn’t at all used to this. I remember when I was a pup I was afraid of Archer since I was incredibly small to him, but I grew used to it pretty fast. If Archer didn’t have someone to help him it might’ve taken me so much more longer. And now I was a lot bigger than him and still growing. There was something wrong with me. 

The sad truth was that I didn’t have someone to help me. I was alone in this, and I have basically zero experience with people, let alone someone so small. I waited a while before Nico squirmed around to make himself comfortable, looking up at me, then immediately turning away. Again, scared. A part of me wished that he wasn’t, but I couldn’t let myself get attached. He’d eventually leave. Whether his tail was healed or not. It’s not like I can just keep him prisoner here, I just wanted to make sure that his tail would be fine enough to let him go back to wherever he lived. Probably a little community somewhere in the coral reef? I had no idea. 

“Is that good?” I looked down so I could see if he nods or not, not expecting a verbal answer, “Y-yeah.” He slumped. Kind of like he just… gave up? I didn’t know how to describe it. I was never good at these kinds of things. 

I slowly swam out, keeping the mer close to my chest and watching as he grew used to the fast currents. It’s been a while since he’s swam huh? I kept swimming out, finally reaching a secluded little spot where a few corals grew and fish swam around. A few swam away at the sight of me, but I didn’t pay attention since I’m sure I screamed “Big, hungry, predator.” I guess they were all true right now, but it’s not like I can’t go hunt for myself. There were a few fish I could go find, but I didn’t want to leave Nico by himself. 

“I didn’t know what you wanted to see. But if you have an idea I can take you there.” I offered, earning a shocked, yet ecstatic face from the smaller mer. I laid myself along a large rock, resting my head on my arms and opening up my hand for the mer to do whatever he was so excited about. I’m pretty sure they knew better to go off on their own after what happened with the sharks couple of days ago. 

Nico started pushing himself off with his tail, wincing every time he moved it but kept on going, his excitement driving him and very slowly and weakly swimming around in the water. I don’t think I should be letting him use his tail since he might make his condition worse, but I told myself that he needed this. He looked so happy. Almost like he had completely forgotten that I was there. But why would I care so much? It’s not like he’d be any different than any of the other mers that meet me. I save them, they call me a monster and run away. Sometimes plead me not to eat them. It left a disgusting taste in my mouth how they had always thought that I would eat another mer. I was one too. I frowned, a little sad but dug my head into my arms, resting my eyes. 

I didn’t know how long Nico kept himself occupied. Every once in a while I would look up and find him looking in small nooks and crannies for something. I didn’t particularly care though, as long as he didn’t feel trapped like he probably has been- I haven’t really been the best caretaker, but hey, he’s alive isn’t he? 

I knew the sun was setting, but every single time I looked up to make sure that the tiny mer was fine, he just looked all giggly and happy. Like he was before this huge mess happened. If it weren’t for that shark. I noticed a small pile of different colored shells where Nico was. So did he just like collecting shells? I mean it would explain why he was even way out here in the first place. Why didn’t he just look around the community he lived in? It seemed like a waste of time. But I guess he just wanted to attempt to find something new. 

I dug my head back into my arms, slightly groaning from not having eaten anything today, and partly because I was extremely exhausted. From what? I had no idea. Right now I wanted nothing more than to just go back to my cave and sleep. But of course I couldn’t just bring myself to grab Nico and force him back right where he was. I sighed, resting my eyes once again before my ears pricked up at a very quiet and small voice. 

Slightly turning my head, I saw the little more struggle to push himself closer to me, dragging something that was about as big as he was behind him. My eyed widened as he stopped for a split second, either scared, or just taking a break from moving such a large thing to him. Or both. I didn’t say a word as I noticed him shudder, trembling but kept moving closer to me and eventually stopping, dragging whatever he was carrying in front of him. I squinted my eyes to see what it was without getting too close since Nico seemed to have a set distance away from me. 

“U-Um… th-thank you.” He held up the bright blue shell that was almost as big as he was up. My eyes widened in shock. Was he… giving something to me? Thanking me too? I was confused of course, no one’s ever given me anything before besides Archer, so this was definitely new. My heart fell at the gesture, noticing how they struggled to keep the bright blue shell up. I smiled, slowly bringing my hand closer and helping him hold it up. I will say he was startled, but let out a sigh of relief. He probably thought that I was going to hurt him, but that was already expected if I were being honest. But… still. It felt nice to be given a gift. Or to even hear the words “thank you.” 

I laughed, seeing a small and shy smile appear on Nico’s face before grabbing two shells that were about the size of his tiny palms. “We… we can go now. I-I know you only stayed f-f-or me.” He stuttered, seeming a little embarrassed at the fact. I lifted my body up, pinching the shell he had given me and my free hand wrapping two fingers around his tiny and minuscule frame. 

I started swimming back, making sure he couldn’t see me smile as I held the tiny shell he had given me close. Such a strange little mer… 

——————

Hope you enjoyed part 1 of your gift 3D!! :D Happy early birthday again :3

Thank you all for reading this very forgotten fic- I will try my best to keep up with it if ya’ll really want me to. But thank you all again!

[astridhoff03]

I also watched the Mermaid Magic, the new series from the guy who produced winx club, because I was curious…

And man this show rocks. It’s funny, emotional and has a beautiful message about not polluting the ocean and the environment in general. It shows that Rainbow and Iginio Straffi still got it if Nickelodeon doesn’t ruin their plans.

First to the characters: Merlinda is such a lovely protagonist, how she deals with the loss of her mother, trying to save her father and her kingdom, working together with her friends is just wonderful. She’s a dutiful, driven by loss and love Crownprincess, who be a great Queen one day. She has some great character moments, better than Bloom. My favorite scene is definitely when the whale mother is drowning and Merlinda reminds of the loss of her own mother. This moment and scene montage is for so many reasons one of the best moments in the entire series.

First I thought I wouldn’t like Nerissa and Sasha, especially Sasha because I thought she would annoy me. But she and Nerissa were actually kinda fun to watch. Sasha is so funny and also very nice and smart, how she uses her social media skills to fight the Kraken. Nerissa is the complete opposite, she’s serious and feisty but also selfless. I think she has a softer side to her or she’s just a baddie. So were Tyler and Celia. And we also have a Diaspro in this show lol. Also can we agree that Alex is the hottest guy in the show, Tyler is cute but Alex is Romantasy Material. Seriously he looks like a combination between Xaden and Rhysand. He reminds me a lot of these two. Orca is also a really cool mentor. I really enjoy his teacher-student relationship with Merlinda. He is a really lovable character. His ultimate test for Merlinda was phenomenal, testing her empathy, powers and strength at the same time. Also that he is her uncle really took me by surprise, I wouldn’t have seen this coming.

Second the villains: they were creepy as fuck and I love them. They have really good designs and motivations. Even if it’s revenge, revenge can be some sinister motivation.

Third the world: I love the whole design of Mertropia it’s like a Venice for Mermaids. I just wish we would explore more seas, there’s so much to learn about the oceans of our planet. But maybe in next seasons. I would love to see the girls interact with different species of the ocean, there is so much potential. And I would love to see more of the complex ecosystem of the ocean, the task every single ocean creature has in their ecosystem and they should introduce sharks as harmless and these are also just animals who want to life their life.

Also this show would be perfect for the Sirenix song from Winx Club. It would perfectly fit the ocean theme and how the merfolk is bound to it.

[moccasins]

reaper rant lmaooo

its been a while since i read the reapertale comic, so some of this info might be wrong lol

i find reapers fandom personality to be kinda funny, and i do like some of the changes, but i wish people would still reference the comic more. like, i wish people would talk about his depression!! the fact that i'm pretty sure he wishes he could die, but he IS death. so he can't. and he finds that eternally frustrating.

or that he hates his job because he's been shunned and seen as a monster by everyone he knows except his brother.

the biggest thing however? one that i've never seen a single soul mention? he doesn't like mortals. he thinks they're stupid. in one scene in the comic reaper is telling life, his toriel, about a story where he reaped a humans soul and the humans partner tried to journey the underworld to find their lovers soul only to also end up dead. he laughs and kinda mocks them because he thinks it was stupid.toriel responds with smth like "reaper. listen. if i dissapeared one day and you couldn't find me. what would you do to get me back?" and the look on his face. he looked.. conflicted. after that he made a joke and left, but he then leaned against a wall out of sight because he found himself terrified. he realized he would do absolutely anything to bring life back. and that scared him. being as impulsive and emotion driven as a mortal is something he genuinely doesn't understand. he's never lost anyone. sure he's had a rough life, but he's never had a mortal life. he can't understand why they feel what they feel and that scares him. the mere idea of acting on impulse makes him run.

and what happens when life dies in the comic? he loses it. he can't handle it. he's never experienced something like this before. he kills everything.

but his emotions are so strong that he just... wipes all life off the face of the earth within seconds. and then.. he shuts down. i wish we could see more of that in the utmv. could you imagine what it would be like to have a being so powerful they can destroy worlds in seconds and they can't entirely control it? people would be tip toeing around him, constantly trying not to make his emotions explode

could you imagine how much of a jerk he'd be to everyone? he wouldn't care about them. they're all pathetic mortals (yes. ink and error are mortals, sorry but i'm staying as close to canon as possible. dream and nightmare would be the equivelent of demigods, i think. powerful, but killable). they don't understand being a god. but he doesn't understand being a mortal.

this has so much potential you don't understand. i don't want reaper acting like a perfect angel. he's kind of a jerk. that's just a fact. so embrace that. he could kill everything with a single thought but he doesn't because he just doesn't give a crap about mortal affairs. they come to him like "reaper! we need your help!! nightmares killing so many people!! help us save the multiverse!!!" and he'd be like "nah. you mortals got yourself into this, you can get yourselves out."

he's kinda selfish. show that.

show him eventually coming out of his shell and finding that he actually wants to help people because he likes them. show the terror that comes with that realization. the realization that he has friends. and he loves them. how would he deal with that? what would he do then?

or!!! afterdeath!!!!! stars, could you imagine how he'd react when he realizes he's fallen in love with a mortal of all things? mortals have lifespans. they grow old. they change. they die. he wouldn't immediately flirt with geno, he would run. he would run and never come back until curiosity got the better of him. and slowly geno would break down his walls and he's terrified because the real world is scary.

reaper is sheltered, to an extent. i just wish people would show that more.

[sugarsnappeases]

hi!! i see your thoughts on bartylily and i am eating them uppp. but i ask any thoughts on regubartylily? do we think they could work out?

hi hi darling!!!

i'm intrigued by this bc ofc i love bartylily, and i love bartylus and i'm occasionally partial to a bit of regulily as well but i don't think i've ever actually thought of them as a trio before….. am pondering it now tho and i feel like i could kinda get behind it??

bc in my mind regulus is the poshest, most pretentious person to ever walk the earth, he’s whipping out the most absurdly formal vocabulary at all times so it sounds like he’s gone and looked up synonyms in a thesaurus w every single word, he’s literally wearing a custom silk suit to bed and rising in the morning like a vampire from a coffin and there’s not a single crease in the fabric, and then he’s being confronted w barty and lily who’re just. they’re just sooooo

i think regulus, my fave repressed loser weirdo, would be just slightly fucking terrified by the two of them, especially if they’re together to start w which for some reason is the way i’m viewing them rn. like bartylily being this insane, incredibly intense couple who commit a lot of recreational arson and never miss a chance to cause a scene and regulus, who would rather die than be perceived while in public but also desperately craves the kinda all-consuming attention that the two of them have for each other, is just So overwhelmed by them

like reg hasn't expressed a single emotion in at least a decade, he's the embodiment of unflappability but in quite possibly the worst way ever, he hasn't had a day off since the dawn of time, he hasn't let himself relax since even before that, he doesn't have a single friend in the world and he's convinced himself he doesn't need them bc he's on his mindset grindset (my poor sad baby is debilitatingly lonely actually) but then somehow he's coming face to face w lily evans and bartemius crouch jr.

lily evans who's highly competent and driven but also messy and outspoken and often rude, who thinks that everything should happen exactly as she wants it to and if it doesn't then she'll make it, who's a force of nature and who has probably killed a man and who is inexplicably in love with barty. barty who's as sharp as a fucking knife and as dangerous as one too, who's wrapping himself up in so many layers of irony that it's impossible to tell what he really means at any given time, who has had a criminal record since the ripe old age of six and who took one look at lily and threw himself down at her feet. and the two of them are angry at the world and taking what they want from it without asking and overly obsessed with each other to the point that it’s uncomfortable to watch but reg can’t seem to look away

maybe this is just typical to me in all of barty's relationships bc in my mind (my mind which has been obsessing over barty/michelangelo parallels for the last month lol) he’s just brimming with undying devotion, he’s putting his entire self into a relationship in this almost masochistic, de-subjectivising translation of the self into the body of the object of his desire or whatever, and lily to me has that sort of intensity as well, kinda selfish in the sense that she's taking and taking and he's giving himself up entirely but it's okay bc she's doing the same for him so in the end they're balanced in that they've both entirely relinquished themselves to each other and merged into one ridiculously feverish entity, they're constantly together, they're a fucking tornado sweeping into regulus' life and uprooting everything that he had so carefully laid into place

and like, in the aftermath of this complete kinda excavation, they're lounging around and getting high together and reg’s having epiphanies like ‘is this relaxation?’ (picture that meme w the butterfly) and he's like. expressing his desires for the first time in his entire life, he doing things bc he wants to do them and not bc someone told him to or bc he thinks he should. and he's swept up in the tornado and just as obsessive and intense and devoted to the two of them as they are to him and he's flourishing like a pot plant being put in the sun and watered, his little sickly victorian child complexion actually gets some colour to it bc he's blushing all the time at the things they're saying to him

and anyway in conclusion, i think i can get behind any bartylily + someone else ship as long as everyone involved worships the ground that lily evans walks on and is also slightly scared of her. but also yes regubartylily has my stamp of approval, we do indeed think they could work out <333

[consistantly-changing]

[Image descriptions in order: screenshots of tags left on the post. They say: #literally #i stopped posting bc no one engages with my fics at all #its not a pleasant feeling #i dont want to have to join fucking discord servers or some other forums just for the off chance that ppl might be discussing my fic #you have to leave comments on fics #or else what is the point]

[#how infuriating to know there are people saying nice things about you who won't say them "to" you]

[#i remember finding out once #that a group of mutual fandom acquaintances had an entire roleplay server based off one of my fics #meanwhile it was sitting at 50 hits 3 likes and 0 comments #then they got upset at me for shelving the fic like #what did you expect]

[#yeahhhhhhhh #every day my desire to write again is knocked down by shit like this]

[dude feed your writers and your artists #making art is lonely and we share it to find community]

[#ao3 #fandom #i struggle with the lack of comments so much #like i legit feel like theres no point in posting sometimes might as well just keep shit in the google docs]

[#my Non-Secret AO3 account's been updated recently too and there hasn't been much engagement #it kind of soured me on updating those stories for awhile]

[why is there this weird push to make fandom less accessible to OTHER FANS?]

[#writing #i get kudos nearly every day and it's lovely #but i get comments like #once every few months #people are reading but not leaving their thoughts #and ngl that kinda sucks]

[#How are writers supposed to know you like their work if they CANNOT see it??? #How are they supposes to stay motivated and write more if they cannot see how many people actually like it??? #I am writing 13k-15k chapters; do you know how LONG that takes??? How much time and effort??? #It's why I reblog the chapter index as much as I do; I NEED people to tell me if they like them #Otherwise it just feels like I'm posting my stuff on a brick wall that nobody is looking at #It's SO demotivating; to the point where I start to wonder if it's even worth continuing at times]

[#Brb literally crying at the very idea of how cheated I would feel if people did this for my fics]

[#(I keep discovering people that have-according to them- been gushing about my writing on discord) #(often I didn't even know these people existed because they never left me a comment) #(sometimes it's only months later through discord that I learn lots of people loved a scene that I thought totally flopped-) #(-because nobody ever once said anything about that scene in my comments.) #(if nobody says they liked it-I assume nobody liked it. please tell me if you like it.) #(you can tell your friends too but I'm gonna get a lot more out of it than they are.)]

[#yeah I got like six kudos the other day on a 150k fic from three years ago #and i was like ok clearly someone has shared this in their discord group and they've all read it and that's lovely! #they must have said really nice things about it for the whole group to presumably have talked about it a lot (it is 150k of fic) #wish a single one of them had said that in a comment instead of me having to just imagine the situation!]

[#fics literally need comments to survive like #yeah its for yourself and for the joy of creating #but its a STORY #with detail put into it and plot twists and things that i want to #im TELLING YOU a story #of course i want to see how the people im telling the story to think lol #PLEASE comment]

[#i tried to get back into writing fic #but the sheer lack of comments made me feel less motivated #kinda need feedback or i feel like my writing is getting lost into the Void #so i deleted the fic and gave up]

[#this #like my god why go to such lengths to NOT tell the author you liked their fic #this sort of thing leads to despair and to writers quitting #please let writers know you appreciate their work #please #why must we beg for crumbs]

[#yeah #I try to avoid being driven or encouraged by comments too much #no matter how much I deeply love and appreciate everyone who DOES take that time #because people are tired and busy #but that feeling of if I stopped 10000 people would take my place #that hit kinda hard today]

[#i had this experience #people were talking about my fic on a server i wasn't on #meanwhile i was having an existential crisis because no one was commenting on the fic itself #i was ready to abandon it until someone told me about the server #only a few years ago i could expect at least 20 comments on each chapter #now if i hit double digits that feels like a win #fic writing woes]

[#please do this #writing is hard #← prev tags #Ain't it #l see people rave about my stories on rec lists or see lovely comments in the bookmarks #You're already writing all that down #Why would you not tell ME #You know I am a human person right? #I publish these this for you to enjoy; I want to SHARE them with you]

[#sometimes i will get half a dozen kudos on the same fic in one day #(my fics are not popular so this is notable for me lol) #and it does make me wonder if the link just got posted in a group chat somewhere that i'm not part of #i did once get added to such a group chat and i was like... why didn't any of you comment?]

[#yeah I had dozens of docs on ff.net #ao3? 2 #what's the point of writing fanfiction when it can stay perfect in my head and I get the same level of engagement anyway #I posted to find people to talk about the stuff I liked #nobody wants to chill so I don't post anymore]

[#THIS #I'll randomly get an uptick of kudoses on an older fic and know someone shared it in a group chat #But no comments :/]

[#jfc that just makes me want to scream #hey kids guess what - if you create these little book clubs and exclude fic authors #you won't get any more fic #i can't tell you how much the comment count on my fics has gone down over the years #because this generation of fans think that kudos or inbox-squeeing or DMs is a substitute for an actual comment]

[I've been told by a reader "they love your fic in my server" and like oh... Okay, guess I'll never find out. Oh well.]

someone I follow on the bird app just announced they're starting a very exclusive private fic server because they and a bunch of other people want to talk about how much they love the fics they're reading, and as an author can I just say that a really great place to talk about a fic you love is in the comments for that fic

I understand that people are trying to create safe spaces, but as the number of comments that I get on my fics dwindles with each passing year, knowing these spaces exist where my fics are being discussed, places that I am excluded from, makes me want to write fic LESS

I mean I guess who cares, right, because if I stop writing, there's 10,000 other people that will continue...but if you participate in a fic "book club" server and you say nice things there about a fic you loved, maybe copy and paste that into a comment on AO3?

the only thing fanfic writers are asking for in return for hours of hard work is attention. please don't rob us of the one thing that we hope for when we hit "post"

[goddess-aelin]

This is going to be such a long post but I feel like I need to get my thoughts out after the angsty ending from A Light in the Flame.

Overall Thoughts:

Umm I thought it was amazing. I know a lot of people were saying it was repetitive and I definitely get that but at the same time, I would literally read 600 pages of Nyktos and Sera eating breakfast so.... Anyway though, I loved the character journeys. I think good characters are what makes a good book and even if the rest is confusing and angsty, it's those character-driven moments that redeem it.

I've said it once and I'll say it again. This prequel series is so much better than FBAA. Not hating on FBAA but I just feel like Nyktos/Sera is so much more well-developed than any relationship in the main series. I love every single side character (yes, even you, Rhain, when you're being rude).

I was hooked from the beginning. How can you not be when it starts with the whole prophecy thing and continues from there with almost constant action. The first half was definitely repetitive, I can totally see that. But I also think that repetitive-ness helped to get the point across that Nyktos cares about Sera. Not the embers, but Sera. Even before they had any convo about forgiving her, I think his actions were speaking louder than words. Though it was a constant battle of "Sera, no." *Sera does the thing.* "How dare you not value your life. *Fucks* Ya know, the usual. Lol. Some of my new fave sera/ash scenes came from this book.

- I adored when he set up a bath for her and everything- it was such a sweet gesture.

-When he took her to the pool and literally just played and had fun, especially because he knew she missed her lake.

- The "I want to be your consort, Nyktos." and Nektas just laughing and knowing.

-The way they both are always stunned by each other. Like they do such sweet things and they are always, ALWAYS, surprised.

-The entire scene of Rhain asking her if she was in love with him and her not being able to answer because she had no idea what it felt like either.

-Her whole breakdown in the carriage because "Oh my gods, I might be in love with him!" Loved every minute of it.

- And then of course, him trying to get her to breathe and calm down when she was about to freak out over this.

-THE FOREHEAD KISS AT THE CORONATION WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE AND HE DID IT JUST BECAUSE HE COULD. I die

-The sweet but angsty talk about Veses that they needed to have tbh.

**Nyktos is literally the ultimate book BF, I said what I said. It's honestly refreshing to see this 200+ y/o male character that has like no sexual experience whatsoever yet it doesn't demean him or negate him as weak. Love that for him.

Non romantic scenes that melted/broke my heart:

-Sera holding Jadis when she fell asleep and Jadis feeling comfortable enough to switch into human form.

-Reaver then getting the blanket for Jadis and just being a weird little kid. I love it.

-Jadis giving a kiss on the forehead to Sera before going to Kolis. Sera's gonna be such a good mom even if one of her children is a giant piece of shit.

-Ector trying to calm Sera down in the carriage and just talking to her.

- The friendships with Aios and Bele and pretty much everyone just finally forgiving Sera.

-Ugh going back to see Ezra! I needed more sister love tho tbh. They didn't even hug!

Now for the painful parts:

-Aios dying. Like wow. This 100% is number one. I was devastated when Sera saw Ector's decapitated head. But then she saw Aios' red hair and I literally almost threw my damn book. I'm so happy she's ok in the end but RIP Ector.

-When Sera saw Nyktos with Veses. I know we got an explanation for it in the end but I was incredibly stressed and about to unstan Nyktos. I hate cheating (even if that's not what it was) as a trope and tbh I hate miscommunication as a trope. So this entire part of the book was just devastating to me.

-Sera's reaction to the above. She was in love with him already, she just didn't know it. I felt her reaction so viscerally, though. I suppose that's a testament to JLA's writing in this book.

-Sera constantly being told that she's going to die and there's nothing that can be done. Just when they think there might be another way, nope it's just death again. I love that Nyktos is fighting so hard for her and I have some theories that I'll make another post for, but I do find it very ironic. The entire situation was Sera was meant to make Nyktos fall in love and then kill him. Oops except he can't love. And now instead, she's the one who fell in love and now he has to kill her to literally save the world. What a 180. A fabulously done 180 but a shocking one, nonetheless.

Another post will be coming about theories!

[unhealthyfanobsession]

Sorry to clutter your inbox with an annoying question, but I really just want an honest answer. I adored the ACOTAR series when I read it a few years ago. I haven’t read ACOSF though yet because I’ll be honest and admit Nesta wasn’t my favorite character because she her initial treatment of Feyre reminded me too much of my own sister/life. With that being said, I really want to like her! Do she and Feyre sort of make amends with each other in this newest book? Also, I haven’t read it because a Maas group I’m in on Facebook, made it seem like the entire 700+ page novel was entirely sex, and as a lesbian, that just doesn’t really appeal to me. So, were they being dramatic when they acted like sex was all this book is? I’m fine if there’s scenes, of course, as long as it’s not the ENTIRE thing! Lol

Again, I’m so sorry to bother! I just needed someone to answer these things in hopes I can motivate my reading-slump self to pick up the book.

Hey! I love to be considered a reliably neutral source. I personally have been a massive fan of Nesta’s since Feyre’s returning home scene in ACOTAR, but I am in no way blind to her flaws.

Having said that, I actually think that many things about ACOSF that annoyed me as a Nesta fan would actually be very appealing to those coming in more wary. Nesta’s journey is in no way easy and she truly does not get away with a single thing. She is called out and punished (in my opinion, excessively) for all last flaws. It’s a bit much for me at times, and the sisters are certainly at odds throughout the book, but by the end yes, Nesta and Feyre very much make amends and I think in a very satisfying way that makes sense for both of their characters. That said, if you find Nesta and Feyre’s relationship emotionally triggering I think that she first scene will be a bit difficult to get through, but that is the only one where the sisters are really directly at odds.

I also disagree with the fact that the book is all sex. I believe there are 3 major sex scenes and they are kinda long, but also pretty easy to skim through. What there is a LOT of is sexual tension and fantasies/thoughts. Even still I don’t think it’s by any means the main point or plot of the story.

What I loved about ACOSF was its exploration of female friendships, learning about Nesta’s past, an unapologetic exploration of the darker sides of mental health struggles, and some truly incredibly written action scenes (I actually think SJM doesn’t get enough credit for just how good the action scenes were in this book. A MASSIVE improvement on ACOWAR in my opinion).

Overall, I think the book is written specifically for people who don’t like Nesta going in and that it really explained and explored the character. Yeah there’s more sex than is necessary, but not as much as people make out imo.

ACOSF is much like all SJM books, character driven plot, a number of inconsistencies, more hyper heterosexual sex and growling than necessary, but ultimately we all know what we’re getting into and it is a fun read with intriguing characters, girl power messaging, and a female main character that is, in my opinion, all the better for her imperfections, struggles, and the fact that being a hero and a martyr does not come naturally to her.

Whatever else you want to say about her, Nesta Archeron is a truly unique character within this genre and I think her story is well worth reading if you are a fan of this author generally.

[ryuichirou]

Can you make your top 10 aot characters that have a good development? Like Eren and Reiner are considered to be the best characters as 'characters' themselves

Anon… dear Anon, you’ve been waiting for like a month I think, I’m so sorry. I took this ask waaay too seriously lol, but yeah, I can’t postpone it for any longer…

I know you asked for top 10, and this is a numbered list, but I wouldn’t call it a proper ranking, so the place doesn’t really matter all that much. Otherwise this list would’ve taken even longer, I’m very serious about lists, it seems lol

Before I start I want to mention (just in case): I feel like “character development” isn’t always about becoming better at something. Sometimes you can become “worse”; sometimes you can get “better” and then fall back to your old ways. It’s just how the character changes, and the trajectory of that change can be very different for different characters.

1. Eren. I can talk about Eren for hours and hours, and I have talked about him a lot, so I’ll try to be quick this time.

Eren’s journey is very interesting and enjoyable to read. He’s such an unusual main character. So aggressive at first, unlikable to some (not to us lol we adored him since day one), loud and stubborn. But it’s super cool to watch this hurricane of a person, especially as he gets calmer, starts controlling his emotions little by little, learns more stuff and understands the situation around him better.

I think I’ll talk about how perspective and knowing a bigger picture change the way character acts a lot in this post, but Eren is an ultimate example of this. He got every single thing: past, present, future, drilled in his head at one fucking moment. He didn’t get a bigger picture, he got the biggest 5d picture with special effects. And he had no one to share that with: he had to deal with it himself, knowing that he himself is the reason for everything that’s happening. It makes my head hurt to even think about that lol It’s cool and unnerving to watch Eren, who’s used to be such a fireball of a character, to just get… quiet and apathetic. We don’t know what he’s thinking about, we don’t know what’s going on anymore, even though his emotions were always the most obvious thing about him. It’s almost scary.

And the interesting thing about it is that nothing really changed about his feelings, at least I think so. Ultimately, the only thing he wanted is for his friends to be happy and live long lives, and who knows, maybe he saw that the “freedom” he was initially seeking for himself doesn’t really exist. This is up to debate and definitely not for this post though lol

2. Reiner. Ohh Reiner. He was one of the characters who wasn’t all that interesting to me personally at first, but as he got more and more complex and emotional, I fell in love with him more and more. This isn’t a numbered list, but he is definitely one of the best written characters. And what’s cool about him is that we see the reason for him being the way he is throughout the story: why he wanted to become a hero, why his mental state got so bad, why he was conflicted, why he got so depressed and why he was able to take responsibility for his actions. I love it when the story breaks its characters, and Reiner is certainly one of the most broken ones. His lower point (when he almost killed himself + cried and asked Eren to kill him) was very beautiful and painful to read, because we know why he feels that way and we know how smug and brave he was at the very beginning of the show/manga. And we know that it was all a lie, which makes everything even tastier.

And as much as I love broken characters, I’m kind of glad Reiner found strength to continue fighting and to take responsibility for his actions (to some degree, at least). Not only he saw a bigger picture, he actually learned how to live with it. I’m so happy they discussed the Marco incident with Jean, and that after Annie told that it was her who took his gear, Reiner stood up and said that Annie was following his orders. He also apologized to Annie for everything he did to her and Bert.

Basically, Reiner went from wanting to be a hero to acting like a hero, then to being an actual hero to Marley and feeling like shit anyways, then to just being a human being, something like that. And that scene with his mom hugging him and being happy for him being alive is actually a very sweet and satisfying moment. Especially considering how much Reiner wanted to die lol

3. Zeke. I’ve talked about it in one of the replies about ch137, but I love how Zeke went from “I shouldn’t have been born” to “maybe small moments of happiness make everything worth it” at the very end of his life (what a cruel irony to realise that just before you die). Not only the character develops and changes, our view of him changes as well: I think Zeke was universally hated when he first appeared, but then he became more fun (dude’s too charismatic), and then he became sympathetic and vulnerable. All of this was always inside Zeke, but it was hidden since Zeke is a lying snake. See, Zeke is smart, but he’s super sure that his views are the only valid ones and that his idea of freeing Eldians is the only solution. His views are surprisingly black and white: I suffered, Eren suffered and our dad is bad. And no one challenged his beliefs until they walk through Grisha’s memories with Eren in ch120-121, and then he realized that Eren didn’t suffer at all and their dad is actually just a person who really regretted being a horrible father to his first son. I love that he got some closure with Grisha because he held that grudge for his entire life.

4. Grisha. He has a rollercoaster ride of a development lol: at first he was an innocent boy, then he became an angry boy, and then he kind of calmed his anger down for some time? But after learning what actually happened to Faye, his emotional wounds got open and all that rage blinded him again. And then, after being outed by Zeke, he lost everything, but had a harsh realization that by being driven by his anger only, he completely forgot not to be a shitty dad. He basically had a second chance in life, with a much better perspective about what’s going on, but now he has his younger son’s ghost haunting him and telling him to do thing he never thought he’d do. At different points of the story Grisha feels both like a mastermind behind things and like a pawn who doesn’t have a choice even if he just wants to live a peaceful and happy life with his wife and kids. The irony of him killing a bunch innocent kids when this whole story started because he got his little sister killed? Delicious. Oh, and I really love the fact that he realised that he screwed up as dad and apologized to Zeke. He loved his kids a lot: Zeke, Eren and Mikasa too (he called her his daughter after all).

5. Erwin. Way more interesting than people give him credit for. He’s mostly adored for being a badass, but he also has his own flaws that he had to deal with. He’s like a moth that’s drawn to the light, but right after burning himself and dying he kind of did “the right thing” that he had to do as a commander. Now, for me it isn’t really about Erwin ending up doing “the right thing” to be honest: we would probably adored him is he ditched everyone and ran to the basement because his selfish desires ended up being more important to him. But that scene where he confessed to Levi that he really wanted to find that basement and just told him everything about his capricious and selfish childish desires, talked about how he lied to everyone including Levi basically just to prove his dad’s point… it was beautiful, because it was basically “I have to do it, haven’t I? But I really don’t want to”. His character development is interesting in a sense that at first he was getting gradually more and more psychotic about his dream, doing crazy things even when he knows it might not be the best choice possible (like him risking his life instead of staying behind), but at the very end he stopped to think and… well we know the rest lol

6.  Armin. I remember people saying that Armin is just a narrator-like character who is here to explain thing (I probably thought so too at first), but this is so unfair. It’s easy to make someone like Armin into this trope, and to leave him being a very one-dimensional dreamer who’s smart but naive. And Armin is so much more than that. Throughout the story he has a lot of “I should have been the one who died” moments, and I love that this is such a prominent issue for him, but he still got over it somehow. Armin was kind of lost at the beginning, but found his role. And wow, he had to go through it again after he was chosen instead of Erwin, because the burden on his shoulders just got 100 kg heavier lol He also got less naïve and more cunning with time and got much better at emotional manipulation, I think. While preferring a dialogue over violence, Armin still isn’t pure, and he acknowledges that constantly, especially after his first kill, and things got even worse since that point, which definitely changed him. But his violence-loathing (kind of…) core is still there.

Armin ended up playing a much bigger role in the story than I thought he would be, I really love it. He has his moments of weakness, but he still pushes forward and takes responsibility and does his best. Oh and let’s pretend that the Annie thing never happened, it doesn’t contribute anything to his character anyway.

7.  Jean. I think Jean is the first character who starts showing character growth, and I believe his development is the reason he was Isayama’s favourite for some time. Tbh, I don’t find Jean annoying even at the very beginning: yeah he’s selfish, but he’s self-aware about it, he’s a realist. And he’s still a realist, but his conscience wouldn’t let him just have an easy life while everyone else’s suffering. I always feel like Jean is a spoiled mamaboy, so it’s great to see him showing that he can put others before himself. He also had an inner conflict similar to Armin’s: is it right to kill innocent people if you have to? Is it ok to kill not-so-innocent people because they’re against you? I really like this theme in SnK just in general.

8.  Gabi. It’s no secret that I adore Gabi lol, and I think her character development is great. She was in her element when we first met her: she was confident, she was doing her best and succeeding, she knew the world around her so well, and then Eren took everything from her. People like to hate Gabi for killing Sasha and for being aggressive on Paradis, but I think it’s great that she didn’t have an overnight change of heart. It’s great that Isayama showed us her shock and her raw emotions, it’s more than natural for a child with her upbringing, even if it’s messed up. But I love it when stories take characters that are great at what they do, and they take them out of their element, to show them at their worst: lost, angry, broken and confused. I love that she understood everything herself and not because Falco told her “hey they’re people too” that one time. She had to go through this hell to figure everything out, and I think it’s great.

9.  Historia. Historia was one of the least interesting characters for me (and for a lot of people, Yams included) at the beginning, and tbh I think it’s brilliant: we never saw anything in her; she was just a waifu material who’s nice to others. It felt fake and boring, well, because it was indeed fake and boring, and to this day I cannot believe that that was the entire point. I love how Ymir made Historia realise that she needs to think for herself, but what’s interesting about all that is that after Ymir left, she almost came back to her old habits. Which is also a development, and a very interesting one. The end of S2 was a high point for her (when she told Ymir that she isn’t scared of anything when they’re together), and then there was a very low point (when Ymir left), and then a high point again (when she remembered Ymir and Frieda and decided to act upon her own desires). She’s one of my faves now because of all that… It’s sad she didn’t have a bigger role post-timeskip, but I still appreciate her story for what it is.

10.  Oh god this is so hard to pick one and this post is already so long… can I just give you a bunch of quick honorable mentions?

Annie (who was a loner that couldn’t really trust anyone but ended up showing her vulnerable and emotional side), Hange (started out enthusiastic and eager to learn more only to meet more pain and disappointment, crumbling under the pressure, but ultimately remembering her amusement with titans), Levi (granted it’s very subtle, but him going through Kenny’s death, Erwin’s death and his promise to him, realization that he’s been killing people all this time and other stuff fascinating and huge leaving a mark on him), Ymir (who got hurt and decided not to trust anyone anymore and to act selfishly, but ended up sacrificing herself anyway lol)…. God, these short description sucks, they can’t describe them properly. Also there are so much of them that I think have good development, and I’m 100% missing someone… but I think I’m done for now. Katsu I’m sorry for making you read all this.

That you for this ask, Anon <3 and sorry again for being so late

[youtiaoshutiao]

传闻中的陈芊芊 thoughts

i haven’t been very active lately but i just came on to say, i binged on the romance of tiger and rose / 传闻中的陈芊芊 and have 2 eps left and i love it SO SO MUCH. i was expecting some pure crack but beyond that, i really ended up catching much feels for it?

and i think beyond the outlandish hilarity of some of the scenes and the cheeky meta, it’s actually a pretty decent drama with its plot and character motivations largely dictated by logic. i have to commend the scriptwriter nan zhen 南镇 for the entire set up of the drama (and it’s her original script!!! which is so rare in the industry nowadays run over by book adaptations - i mean i love those too but i still think it’s an easy way out for production companies when they adapt books with established fan bases). it’s actually really clever of her because all plot holes/flaws in world building can easily be attributed to xiaoqian’s lousy scriptwriting abilities?

i really did become quite impressed with the plot as the episodes progressed haha. the conflict and plot thickens as xiaoqian, now as qianqian, with the mindset that she’s not part of this story at all and that she’s interacting with a bunch of characters on paper, continues to engineer plot machinations trying to steer the plot in the right direction to get to the end so she can return back to the real world. and you slowly see how that just devolves into complete chaos and plot twists when surprise! she IS part of the story, she IS interacting with these characters and they are influenced by what she says and does! so you have her original male lead hanshuo, destined for the female lead chuchu, falling in love instead with her and changing his entire plan because of that. you have chuchu, the original female lead, slowly growing more unhinged as she perceives qianqian’s actions and words as callous and uncaring and outrightly antagonistic towards herself and as her resentment builds when everyone seems to shower affection and attention on qianqian still.

adding on to that is, how xiaoqian as a scriptwriter views and perceives her characters? some characters like hanshuo, she clearly constructed with much care and love, as seen by how she knows exactly how to make hanshuo happy and doesn’t want to upset him in the initial episodes (which caused him to fall for her like a devoted puppy). yet it seems like she either didn’t grasp fully their character motivations/personality/how their character is moulded by their backgrounds? which is why she probably didn’t see how the inherent difference with which her mother treats qianqian vs chuchu would lead to jealousy and resentment seeping in and poisoning chuchu’s heart. and her visualising han shuo as a murderous calculating career-driven male lead aka the male lead of eastern palace clearly runs contrary to how he is total putty and has barely hurt a fly ever since he fell in love with qianqian.

and there are characters too like her mother that she originally clearly just wrote in as characters to steer the plot forward, and in-world, she is clearly stricken when she realises how they have emotions and hidden depths beyond what she fathomed - like when her and her mother had that semi HTHT after she stole the dragon bone and her mum stayed by her bedchamber to watch over her all night. and another example would be su ziying - she’s so happy to see him when he appears as in that moment she’s viewing him from the lens of the scriptwriter of this story and she knows he’s going to push the plot forward. but seeing him and his actions actually playing out - she gets irritated by what he does and also his actions actually do end up affecting her, because she is in the story too!!!

and moving on from that, as the plot further progresses, another spanner is thrown into the mix when she realises that male lead is really really in love with her! and would give up everything for her! and... she too is in love with him!! and this changes things too because while initially all her actions were to push the plot to move forward the way she originally wrote it so that she can head back, now she’s actively trying to push back against the flow of events, as she’s now emotionally invested in this and doesn’t want the male lead to die as per her original script.

the play out of all these was really really entertaining and gripping to watch?? i was legitimately bowled over by how affected i was when all the angst came in, because it really felt like it made sense amidst all the crack and was well set up? and throughout it all, the actions of all the main players in the plot made sense and were logical, even the secondary leads chuchu and peiheng. haha idek if i’m ascribing too much credit to this whole plot, maybe it’s really just meant to be a cracky fun time and i’m too into it HAHA.

there’s also the set up of huayuan city being a matriarchal society where basically the roles of women and men are reversed. it is really v trippy!!! and An Experience to see scenes like men being harrassed by women, people tittering at other men for not being covered up enough in public, wares that can increase your chances of birthing a female heir being peddled on the streets. initially i was kind of apprehensive as to how it was going to play out. now at ep 22 where they’ve gone to xuanhu city which is patriarchal the conversation regarding gender roles and gender equality is continuing!! but i shall reserve my thoughts and comments till the entire arc plays out.

but beyond all that, the drama is just so much fun fun funnnnn!!!! i loveddddd seeing how this drama about a scriptwriter getting stuck in her own script had scenes interspersed with storytellers on the street retelling qianqian’s exploits and qianqian’s regular meetups with the storytellers/opera writers to discuss how the plot of the drama was going or even the scene where hanshuo and peiheng went to the opera house for their male lead showdown and the opera characters were there saying all the rude things they wanted to say to each other. such fun meta?? breaking the fourth wall?? satire?? idek LOL i just know i enjoyed it thoroughly

and lastly, apart from all the thinky thinky stuff, i’m thoroughly charmed by the otp HAHA. i loveeeee qianqian so much and zhao lusi is soo effortlessly adorable and natural and charming in this role that i can totally see why everyone from han shuo to her mother is enamoured by her. i actually am really curious also to see how qianqian before xiaoqian transmigrated into her body was like - seeing how her servant didn’t seem to have any whiplash from an extreme change in personality suggest that maybe qianqian wasn’t all that different from xiaoqian?? and probably might not have been that spoilt/callous/havoc-wreaking as everyone perceives her to be?

and han shuo too is SO entertaining and funny and darling - when he first came to huayuan city he’s all “i’m cunning and smart and i’m going to MANIPULATE EVERYBODY for my/xuan hu city’s benefit” and “i want chen qianqian to die with ten thousand arrows through her heart!! i want her to be stabbed by knives three thousand times!! not a single time less!!!” and “do you think i don’t dare to kill you?!”. then he falls in love with her and instantly he’s all puppy eyes and utter devotion. IT’S DELICIOUS. ding yuxi really makes staring at your FL like she’s the only one in the world an art form. and as one comment on a bilibili mv said regarding han shuo’s supposed bloodlust, “han shuo, up to this point you’ve only killed one horse” HAHA

(keep in mind that it’s not even that han shuo ordered the killing of this horse, it was his subordinate that killed it on his behalf, and han shuo was Not Happy about it after that!)

together the otp are even more adorable!!! it’s teeth rotting fluff but yet it comes off very earnest and adorable without being cloying. i was literally clutching my heart and grinning at the screen dopily at some scenes. and even though the otp dynamic and character setups are not really the same, the way the two of them bicker and act like children around each other kind of remind me of yongqi and xiaoyanzi from hzgg for some reason lol.

and apart from the otp, there are a whole host of supporting characters that are really very funny and adorable and entertaining to watch haha. special shoutout to both han shuo and qianqian’s subordinates who are HILARIOUS and plain Done with their masters’ nonsense (especially bai ji who really just wants to get shit done okay!! but his master just keeps on wanting to fall in love and date!!) there’s also qianqian’s older sister yuanyuan who is disabled and on a wheelchair, and with a sad yet somehow hilarious penchant for writing multiple drafts of her will. and her otp, su mu, a courtesan (yes the courtesans in this city are all male).

honestly i’m not sure where i’m going with this, i just briefly scanned through what i’ve written so far and lol seems like paragraphs of illogical incoherent rambling. I’m sorry it’s 5am over here i’m not really thinking straight T_T i just have a lot of feels for this drama okay ;_____;

[makeste]

obstacles do not block the path

they are the path.

or something. it’s a zen proverb. anyway, so this is yet another post about Bakugou potentially losing his quirk. I’m gonna try to articulate it a little better this time. rather than just explaining why I think it’s likely to happen, I tried to explain why I think this specific and as-yet-still-hypothetical character decision is a very deliberate and purposeful one. in other words, this isn’t my argument for why it will happen; this is a post about why it should happen.

to start, there are two Horikoshi interviews which I want to quote here, and the reason I’m quoting them is because they do a good job of summing up the dual nature of the hero model that BnHA is built on. I’ll start with the longer quote, which is Horikoshi’s answer to the question, “so Sensei, what heroes do you like?”

[It would] probably have to be Goku and Spider-Man. To me, when mentioning heroes, these two are the ones that I think of. In Goku’s case, it’s the reassurance that everything is going to be fine which he brings when arriving. Such as, on Namek, Goku was getting healed, and his friends were all beaten badly. When Goku finally recovered and walked out of the healing machine, that reassurance right there is what I’m talking about. Something like “Ah, everything is going to be fine”. When I first read it and saw it was really Goku who had arrived, I continued reading thinking the thought “gonna win”. (laughs) That reassurance is something that all of the other characters don’t have. I thought about it afterwards, and even though there are a variety of heroes, the hero model that is built up in my mind is built around the concept that the hero is somebody that brings reassurance. That’s why I think a hero to me is somebody that helps and brings reassurance to others.

In Spider-Man’s case, the first experience I had with this character was the movie, in which there were a lot of scenes with him rescuing people, which I felt that was really cool. The moment he “saves somebody” is really awesome. Well, in Goku’s case, it’s because he likes fighting that he fights, so that’s a bit different. (laughs) You can say that Spider-Man and Goku are two different aspects of being a hero.

I’m sure you all can figure out just who Goku and Spider-Man each represent in respect to our beloved series.

as for the second Horikoshi quote, this one is much shorter. just a single line, actually, in regards to the development of Bakugou’s character:

I also thought to have [Bakugou] and Deku improve on two separate vectors as they entered U.A.

that’s it. just a single sentence lol. except that this one sentence can basically be used to sum up the entirety of Bakugou’s character development throughout the series, and it also serves as a roadmap as to what I think might happen next.

let’s start with the very first line in the series.

this sets the stage for everything that happens next. it establishes who these characters are right from the get-go. we see the hierarchy of quirk society, and we see two children born on polar opposites of the spectrum. Izuku, who was born quirkless, who exists at the bottom of the food chain. and Katsuki, born with a powerful quirk and the natural talent to back it up, who sits comfortably at the very top of the pyramid. two children who, from a very young age, are set up to walk completely different paths in life.

and yet the curious thing is, their goals are the same.

they both want to be like All Might. interestingly, though, they look up to him for different reasons. each boy admires All Might for what they see of themselves in him. Izuku sees a hero who protects others and works to save them no matter what. and Katsuki sees a champion who never gives up and who always emerges victorious.

and what the story eventually goes on to explain is that these are two halves of the same hero. Spider-Man, who rescues people and brings them hope. and Goku, who always wins no matter what, and by doing so brings reassurance to others. these two aspects together make up the perfect, consummate hero which both Izuku and Katsuki aspire to be. and the story is about how they get there.

but it’s that how that’s really where things begin to get interesting. because as previously mentioned, Katsuki and Izuku each start out their respective journeys in very different places. their origins, their “starting lines” as the series sometimes puts it, are polar opposites of one another, and yet they both are heading for the same goal. they want the same thing, but to get there, they each have to journey from a different place.

and what that means is that right from the start, it was impossible for Izuku and Katsuki’s journeys to be the same. more than that, they’re not just different journeys, they’re the opposite journeys. if you start from two opposing ends of a path facing towards the same goal, the only way for you to reach that goal is by traveling in the exact opposite direction as the other person. as an illustration of this, please accept this visual aid which I drew with love:

eh. eh.

so let’s continue to retrace each of their paths as the story progresses. we’ll start with Izuku first. his story begins when he receives One for All, a quirk that allows him to compete with other would-be heroes on equal ground for the first time. by this point he has already learned inner strength and compassion and selflessness. he already cares deeply about others. and so his trajectory now veers towards him learning what it means to be a champion. learning the things that Katsuki already knows.

and Izuku makes a lot of mistakes when he first starts out. he is too selfless. he rushes in to save others without sparing any thought for himself, resulting in repeated instances of him getting in over his head and getting injured and taking himself out of the fight. he almost gets himself expelled for this on the very first day of hero school, and Aizawa’s very first order of business is to chew him out over how irresponsible he is.

we see Izuku struggle to learn how to inspire others and be a leader, traits which happen to come to Katsuki naturally. Katsuki instinctively smiles when he’s up against a wall. he inspires others without even trying -- inspires them even in spite of his abrasive personality. but these are things which don’t come naturally to Izuku. Izuku is more inclined to follow than lead, because he doesn’t feel compelled to put himself in the spotlight, and because he is cooperative and will defer to others who are more aggressive about putting themselves in the leader role. Izuku doesn’t do the whole hero grin thing naturally, either; this is something he has to be coached on and consciously think about, and his early efforts are a bit hit-or-miss.

Izuku is more focused on saving people, and sometimes misses the fact that in order to do so, sometimes the best course of action is to just straight up beat the shit out of the bad guy(s). he learns this over the course of the series, and we see him doing the never-give-up thing against Muscular, and Overhaul, and Gentle. and Izuku’s selfless nature almost causes him to give up OFA to Mirio because he sees him as being more worthy; Mirio has to talk him out of it in order to stop him. in short, Izuku’s arc is all about him gradually learning confidence and becoming a badass.

now contrast this against Katsuki’s arc, which has the opposite trajectory. Katsuki starts out as someone who is already strong and confident. he is hard-working and driven and dedicated to his own self-improvement. he’s a prodigy when it comes to battle, and his determination to succeed inspires others to challenge and push themselves in order to keep up with him. 

he is a natural leader, and a terrible follower. and he completely overlooks the “saving people” aspect of being a hero in favor of the “kicking ass” part.

so now here’s the interesting thing. Izuku’s growth comes from achieving new things and gaining new abilities and skills. his growth comes from experiencing victory and success. but Katsuki’s growth takes the exact opposite path. as someone who has experienced success his entire life, Katsuki’s first steps toward progress only come once he starts experiencing failure for the very first time. it might seem counterintuitive, but his breakthroughs only come after he experiences setbacks. because just like Izuku needed to experience victory in order to grow, Katsuki needed to experience loss. just as Izuku needed to grow stronger, Katsuki needed to learn what it was like to experience weakness. without that understanding, his growth would have stagnated.

so from a certain perspective, the story’s treatment of Katsuki vs Izuku might not seem fair. Izuku constantly receives help while Katsuki only faces hindrances. Izuku’s strength only ever seems to increase, while Katsuki is repeatedly confronted by his own limitations. he’s attacked by villains. he’s kidnapped. he blames himself for his hero’s downfall. etc. etc. etc.

but the reason why Horikoshi keeps putting him through all these situations is because in order to have someone grow as a character, you need to have them slowly overcome their flaws. and it just so happens that Izuku and Katsuki’s flaws are the exact opposites of each other’s. and so when you think about it, it only makes sense that in order for them to develop, they’re going to need to take opposite routes. “what they lack” is completely different. and thus “what they need to gain” will also be completely different. this is something which has been very plainly laid out from the earliest chapters of the series...

...and which has been hammered into our heads over and over again ever since.

anyway! enough of my long-winded rambling. you get the point! Katsuki and Izuku have the same goal but are approaching it from opposite sides. just as they are mirrors of each other, so are their arcs mirrors of each other’s arcs. they balance each other out.

but now I’m going to add on a bit more to that, though, so just hear me out. yes, it’s very good and wonderful that they can do this. their strengths complement each other’s flaws; their weaknesses offset. the two of them can and will one day be unstoppable together, and all of that is cool and great and epic.

but it’s also limiting to think of the two of them solely in these kinds of terms; as half-formed individuals who can only be complete and whole when they’re by each other’s side. they are each still their own person as well! and in order for them to achieve this same kind of balance within themselves, they can’t just simply meet in the middle and be done with it. both of them need to continue to walk down their respective paths and experience each other’s side, not just their own. here, let me just break it down:

Deku: starts out quirkless -> learns humility and compassion and how to put others before himself -> gets a quirk -> learns how to be strong and win and inspire courage in others -> becomes a hero that both wins and saves.

Kacchan: starts out with a good quirk -> learns how to be strong and win and inspire courage in others -> ??? -> learns humility and compassion and how to put others before himself -> becomes a hero that both saves and wins.

ah. and now we finally get to our actual fucking point lol.

do you see?? they are perfect mirrors of each other, except for one critical juncture. Izuku grew up on Rescue Road, but the entrance to Beating Villains Boulevard was always barricaded off. until one day he finally got a quirk, and so was permitted entry. meanwhile, Katsuki has lived on BV Blvd his entire life, and until very recently he never even knew there was a Rescue Rd. and now that he finally does know, he’s been working very hard to get there, and has made many detours all over Plot Parkway, and has finally reached the point where he’s at least able to see the road that leads where he needs to go. but he still hasn’t gotten there yet. for him it’s still barricaded off in the same way that his road was once barricaded off to Izuku.

and there are other ways for him to gain access to this road. ways which involve far less pain and suffering, tbh! but the problem is, he’s never been the type of boy who has the patience for any of those other roads. he can’t be bothered to take the scenic route there. he’s in a rush. and so he keeps on trying to force his way past the barricade using brute strength and whatever other means he can think of, perhaps even trying to use the toll pass he got back on his own street (stay with me, metaphor; we’re in this till the bitter end now), thinking that if it worked over there, it should work for him here too. but it doesn’t. and the longer he keeps pressing up against this barricade, the more frustrated he becomes.

and meanwhile Izuku has already made himself at home over on Katsuki’s own street. and so that sure is annoying! except it turns out that by watching Izuku very closely, Katsuki can sort of get an idea of how they do things over on Izuku’s old street, just like Izuku once observed Katsuki and admired him as the closest he could get to being on BV Blvd himself. so at least that’s something. and the more Katsuki does observe and imitate him, the more he’s actually able to do a passing impression of a true Rescue Rd native. and maybe eventually he even starts thinking to himself, I don’t really need to go down this stupid road anyway, even though deep down he knows that the only route through to All Might Avenue is through that road. and also though, the other thing is that seeing as he’s only ever lived on his own street, he still thinks, even now, that his street is objectively the better of the two and the more important.

but that’s not how it works. the plain fact of the matter is that in order to get to All Might Ave you need to pass through both roads. if it was just Hero Highway that they were trying to reach? well then sure! that one’s easy. exit’s right over there. but they don’t want plain old Hero Highway. they want All Might Ave. they want to be the best heroes. they want to complete their respective character journeys. and to do that, Kacchan needs to find what he lacks. and to do that, he needs to gain access to this road.

so what I’m trying to say here is that because of who Katsuki is, and because of what his goal is, the surest and most logical way to complete his character arc is by bringing it around full circle as a mirror to Izuku’s. in order to fulfill his goal of becoming the best hero, Katsuki has to lose his quirk. it’s symmetry. it’s yin and yang. it’s equilibrium. in order to move forward he must first go back. in order to win, he has to lose. for him, this is the missing piece.

and just to clarify, because I feel like this needs to be said: this is not about “redemption through suffering”, though. it’s not “oh he deserves it for how he treated Izuku all those years ago.” and it’s not “let’s make the audience feel sorry for poor little Kacchan so that they feel more sympathetic towards him”, either. that’s not it at all! because the thing is, this isn’t about punishment; this is about fulfillment. this isn’t angst for the sake of angst. this is about placing a very deliberately and meticulously crafted obstacle in front of him for the purpose of forcing him to learn how to overcome it.

because he will overcome it. this is Bakugou fucking Katsuki. he is not fragile. he is not delicate or frail. and so for anyone who’s worried this might be a crushing mental blow? I think you just might be underestimating him.

that’s not to say it won’t be grueling for him, mind. losing his quirk would mean coming face to face with the very real possibility of losing his dream too. because society doesn’t believe that people without quirks can be heroes. Katsuki himself never believed that someone without a quirk could be a hero.

but you know who did believe that? because he had to believe it, growing up, because no one else believed in him?

yeah. that’s right.

you see, for Izuku, his own intrinsic worth isn’t inherently tied to his quirk, because growing up he never had a quirk. now contrast that with Katsuki, whose own sense of self-worth is completely wrapped up in his quirk, his strength, his natural talent. Katsuki, who grew up being told how amazing his quirk was, and believing that the hierarchy of the world around him meant that having a good quirk placed him above other who didn’t. and who consequently also grew up with a correspondingly huge fear of failure, because his sense of security and fulfillment is contingent on his being strong. and if that were ever to change, to him that would mean a total loss of everything he is, everything he’s ever known, and everything he is striving to be.

“lol I thought you just said this wouldn’t be the crushing blow for him”, and yeah, lol, fair enough. but this is also exactly why it’s so important for him to finally face this fear head on. because even though it frightens him, even though it would devastate him, I don’t think it would defeat him. rather, I think that once he came to terms with what had happened and accepted it, he would do what he always does. he would rise back up.

because in spite of what he has always feared, he isn’t weak. and so even though losing his quirk would be harrowing, I think that, if done right, it could also be liberating and even empowering. because it’s him facing his fears. it’s an obstacle to overcome for the sake of him realizing that he can overcome it. because him being quirkless is not, in fact, the end of the world.

because his strength isn’t in his quirk -- it’s in his spirit. exactly like the boy he once secretly feared. exactly the same as Izuku.

so yeah. that’s basically it. tl;dr Deku and Kacchan are on opposite vectors and Katsuki’s is becoming particularly hazardous to navigate at the moment, but what at first glance seems to be a potential death blow could in fact be the thing that finally propels him forward towards where he wants to go and who he truly wants to be. and I am here for it. I want my boy to find himself some enlightenment. and then to rise back up again like the badass he is.

[deans-haunted-baby]

Curious. What do you mean by Dust till Dawn going against it's Characters? I know I have my own feelings, or confusion, with how they left Kate's story.

From Dusk Till Dawn effectively character assassinated every single character in the very last episode including Kate Fuller. No one is acting like themselves in that series finale it's like some deranged fanfic writer came aboard and hijacked the show while no one was looking. If you thought 15x18 & 15x19 of Supernatural were bad and believe me they really are; those episodes are minorly salvageable against the slaughterhouse that Dusk 3x10 was. It utterly contradicts and ignores everything the show put forward in all 3 seasons. I will never watch that episode again.

I'll first explain what that piece of shit did to the show's lead protagonists, the Gecko brothers. Regardless of how you or anyone else feels about Supernatural's series finale; that show was a saint to Sam and Dean's storyline beginning to end compared to how From Dusk Till Dawn definitively butchered Richie and Seth. I'm sad saying this because Zane Holtz and DJ Controna are outstanding as these characters. I freaking love their chemistry man, it's a great rival to J2! They're the badass dark clones of the Winchesters.  Their arc starts out fascinatingly complex because they went from cold-blooded criminals/bad guys and meanwhile during their escape over the Mexican border with this hostage family the audience is told pretty quick by Professor Aiden Tanner that the Geckos are destined to become these foresworn warriors The Mayan Hero Twins in an ancient prophecy (based on real Mesoamerican lore) who battle the Underworld. So right away the show is telling us ahead where Seth and Richie are suppose to end up in their journey and when you introduce a storyline this big I expect a satisfying payoff.

At the end of season 1, Richie Gecko is *SPOILER ALERT* transformed into a culebra (snake-vampire) while Seth Gecko remains human symbolizing their night and day Hero Twin counterparts from the legend. And they're separated in the first half of season 2 where both try to navigate this new supernatural world they've stumbled on individually. What they find, no different than the Winchesters, is that neither can function properly without the other making their destiny all the more valid. That season is practically constructed like their swan song to the criminal lifestyle since the brothers are meant to become more than crooks; and since Richie's a vampire they can't ever go back to basics. Their adopted father aka uncle Eddie actually says the line "this is my swan song" in 2x07 to Seth and Richie in reference to their final heist together which is not a coincidence. That's the writers telling us that the Gecko Brothers' role in the show is going to shift from anti-heroes to heroes very soon. Eddie and Kate Fuller's fates in S2 act as the primary catalysts for this transition taking shape in the finale.

Going into season 3 it's business as usual for the boys until the prophecy of the twins officially rips a hole in the damn universe via demon queen Amaru. Who's now possessing Kate. Throughout that season Seth and Richie embark on a journey of heroism; find themselves battling monsters, actually saving civilians and dealing with their own personal demons (guilt and remorse over past sins). That year is presented as their redemption arc and final phase into their new role. No one ever tells them about their destiny (despite most of the other characters knowing) but we as the audience are already aware as we watch the brothers in action. The best episode is without a doubt 3x06 the crown jewel of From Dusk Till Dawn because it's about overcoming the darkness inside. And who best represents that than Richie; the show's most important central character whom began the series as a deadly clairvoyant criminal into the tortured vampire hero struggling with his own humanity. Now I won't spoil the whole episode for anyone who hasn't seen it or the show in general but it's an incredible moment of character development for both the Gecko brothers. Not only does it cement their powerful bond it's the episode that defines who these two are once and for all. The ones who lead the battle between good and evil; keep the balance of light and darkness. One day I plan to do an entire analysis of that episode because it's so fucking brilliant and shot so incredibly eerie at the same time 😁

You want to know what 3x10 does to these characters? It shits all over their entire storyline and pisses away THREE FUCKING SEASONS of character development. Just flushes it all down the toilet rendering everything they've ever done up to that point completely pointless! Their destiny which is the WHOLE POINT OF THE SHOW is suddenly dropped last minute and the Geckos hit reset on their former criminal escapades; dragging Kate along with them. I hate that finale with the fire of a thousand suns for what it does to Richie and Seth 😡

Moving on to Carlos Madrigal. He is the best villain character in the history of show villains hands down. I can actually say that without blinking. Wilmer Valderama is phenomenal, he steals the show as Carlos. He's is so freaking awesome, evil and badass! I just want to keep seeing this man tear things apart while being the sexy asshole he is 😈For all intents and purposes I don't want to spoil his whole storyline on the show for those following me in case they're interested. But what I will say is 3x10 destroys this character; so don't watch it if you want to keep the memory of who he was alive. I'm actually depressed over what was done to him as much as I feel sorry for Wilmer having to perform that shitty script. It's laughable in a very bad way. Gotta hand it to the writers and showrunners of FDTD they certainly knew how to humiliate their best characters in this series. Carlos basically goes from charismatic yet lethal Hannibal Lecter to a very captain obvious Gandolf caricature. Yah you heard that right, it's really fucking sad.

Next we have Freddie Gonzalez; the audience's avatar into the series. This character is connected to everyone on the show for a reason because of the crucial part he plays in this universe. The "Peacekeeper" destined to police the line between the supernatural world from the human world. In the beginning he's a Texas deputy on a quest to avenge the murder of his father figure/partner Earl McGraw via the Gecko Brothers. But once he steps in that territory of monsters there's no going back. And FDTD repeatedly tells him and the audience this in the first 2 seasons. But then 3x10 pulls the ultimate fuckery by giving him the most cliched, nonsensical hallmark ending effectively cancelling out his entire purpose in the series. He instantly forgets that he ever cared about Kate, watching her bleed out on the ground, then leaves the Geckos high and dry rushing his family (who isn't injured) to the hospital. And he stays there while the battle continues 😣

Kate and Scott Fuller OMG words cannot describe my anger over what was done to them so I'll make it fast. I'll begin with Kate the bright light and heart of the series. Her arc in the first two seasons is excellent. It's emotionally driven because she begins as an ordinary girl in broken yet seemingly-happy family to a young woman finding her way around the supernatural world maintaining her faith and moral compos while trying to help her brother after he's *SPOILER ALERT* been turned into a vampire; paralleling the Geckos's situation. Scott being only a 16 year old kid, like Richie, struggles immensely after his transformation; searching for meaning as a cursed individual and coping with his duality. He was already different to begin with so being a vampire adds some interesting layers to his character.

Btw Kate plays a vital role in Richie and Seth's lives, though in my opinion is more strongly connected to Richie. The show even goes as far as developing the early glimpses of a romantic arc between Kate and Richie (seeing as they kiss twice) with angst at the end of season 2 that is never resolved. You want to know why it wasn't? Not only does season 3 mute Kate's voice and agency but 3x10 ruins her character and demolishes her whole arc with Richie (who spent all of season 3 trying to save her) at the last second due to fan pressure of those who shipped her with Seth. They don't exchange one word nor barely look at one another it's like seasons 1&2 never happened. This is the biggest fuck you to fans of these characters I've ever witnessed in a series and they did my boys Adam and Michael so dirty in Supernatural. Poor Scott whom the show enjoyed kicking around all season barely gets a thing to do in that series finale either than listening to his sister and Seth gab about prom lol. Yah you heard me I'm not making this shit up I swear. Then he gets abandoned by Kate while she goes off to be a bank robber with the character assassinated versions of Seth and Richie. How extraordinary 😖

Santanico Pandemonium is really the only character in the series who manages to get out unscathed. HOWEVER her arc is handled very poorly beginning to end. They set up an arc between her and Seth that also goes absolutely nowhere. Give her zero closure with Richie whom she sired, dated and used in S2. And randomly throw her in a scene with Kate that makes no fucking sense after these two had nothing to do with one another all series. On top of that Santanico is barely in season 3 so by the time the show wraps her arc feels incomplete.

Other characters go missing that no one notices, the new bad guy whom they've set up at the end is just left hanging. And Richie Gecko, you know the show’s other lead, is horribly sidelined after 3x06 to make way for the Seth Gecko solo show. When I say FDTD series finale is bad I mean it's really fucking terrible and blasphemous.

[staygoldaj]

Analysis on the MHA Girls

(Part I: Uraraka & Momo)

I know that the fandom tends to dislike these queens and push them aside, and I know Hori doesn't really know how to write women, but what he has given us is great and I wish the fans would appreciate these awesome ladies more. So here's an analysis for my girls, I wanna do an analysis on the three musketeers (broccoli, popcorn, & candy cane) so that'll be posted soon too :)

Uraraka

BEST. GIRL. I love Uraraka so much, she is the reason why I started watching MHA and she's such a sweetheart, I wish she wasn't so hated amongst the fandom.

We first meet her as this wholesome, bubbly girl who saves Midoriya from falling, and it's pretty clear that she's gonna be the main love interest. Honestly, I was a little disappointed during her first few scenes. Like I said, she was the reason why I started MHA, and she turns out to be the typical sweet girl the main dude has a crush on. I didn't have high hopes tbh. What first intrigued me was when she admits her reasons for becoming a hero. You would never expect the innocent girl-next-door love interest to be doing something for money. Even she herself says it's "such an unwholesome motivation" in comparison to Midoriya's and Iida's reasons, and she gets praised for "looking out for herself." This is the first misconception I see often on her character; she wants money for herself because she's poor. If you look into her reasons, she just wants to make money for her parents, not for her, so that her parents can take it easy. She is just as selfless as Midoriya and Kirishima, but I don't see her get praised for her selflessness nearly as much as for those two or other characters. I also really like the small flashback they included; her father tells her to not worry about them and to follow her dreams. Whether at the start Uraraka truly wanted to be a hero or solely did it for the money is up for interpretation. I personally think she started solely for the money, which I'll get into after I talk about the Sports Festival.

Uraraka vs. Bakugo is one of the most emotional fights in my opinion, and it's one of my favorites. EVERYONE in that stadium underestimated her. I'm not going to say that the reason was because she was a woman, but rather, Bakugo is pretty ruthless and powerful, where as she is not, and people knew that. The fact that she was a "small young girl" just added more fuel to that, if that makes sense. And this best girl did what she could to prove EVERYONE wrong. This is where Uraraka proves that she isn't a typical sweet shonen love interest and I wish people took notice in that. People think of ambitious, determined, driven, cunning, and powerful women as dark and mysterious, femme fatale so to speak. But this fight shows that Uraraka, a pretty extroverted, kind, and bubbly person, is all of those qualities, just as ambitious and determined as the strongest male characters in the show, such as Bakugo and Todoroki.

And when she loses the fight (after basically passing out btw, queen didn't stop until the very end), she doesn't just mope and quit and wait for encouraging words from her love interest, she 1. GIVES the encouraging words TO her love interest and 2. she understands that her quirk alone isn't going to be enough to get her to the top, so she carefully chooses a hero agency where she knows she will be taught combat, AND SHE LEARNS. The next time her class is attacked by villains, she single-handedly takes down one of the more dangerous members without a quirk, just with the fighting skills she took the time to learn.

Back to what I said earlier, Uraraka started her hero journey solely for money. This plays directly into her development in seasons 3 and 4, which is criminally underrated. She sees her entire class working harder than ever, and even though she's dealing with unfamiliar emotions, she decides to push those emotions aside to not fall behind, determined to be a good student and hero like her classmates. During the events at Shie Hassaikai, Uraraka finally learns the true environment a hero works in. Failing to save Nighteye, she realizes that what she truly wants for herself isn't money or Midoriya, it's being a hero who saves people. I believe Nighteye's death directly ties into the "who protects heroes when they need protection?" line. This recent chapter in the manga makes me think that she's gonna do something big and go through a character arc. I said this on Twitter and I'll say it here, I want Uraraka to become a hero who protects heroes (whatever that could mean, it has a nice ring to it lol). Honestly, her character has sm potential, I'm excited for what Horikoshi has in store for her.

Momo

God is a woman and that woman is Momo Yaoyorozu. I'm tired of people calling her annoying because of one episode, as if you've never had self-esteem problems before 🙄 so now I'm going to talk about why she's amazing 😋

My initial impression of Momo was the typical smart girl, stern, formal, and aloof, but still caring. And as I rewatch the series, I believe this is what Horikoshi was going for at first. I think her voice was deeper in the first season too. As much as I love the Erza type of characters, I love where Horikoshi ended up going with Momo. As a teenage girl, I find the arc she went through during season 2 very relatable. It's obvious that Momo was raised to have full confidence in herself. While she may not show it like Bakugo does, I think it's obvious that she's not used to losing, she was probably praised for having an amazing quirk growing up, like Bakugo, but is a way more humble about it because she was raised differently. So at the Sports Festival, she experiences losing, seemingly for the first time, in a place where she just can't afford to lose. But she does. And this takes a huge toll on her.

She's rich, pretty, the top student in class, and admired by her peers, but obviously that's not what mattered to Momo. What mattered to her most in that moment was looking good in front of agencies, what mattered most was to be a worthy hero, and she feels like she's failed. She seeks guidance from a female hero, hoping to have a female role model guide her through issues she has as a 15 year old girl, but instead finds herself being used for her looks. Again, Momo doesn't care about any of that, she just wants to be considered a worthy hero, and her defeat at the Sports Festival made her completely lose the confidence she needed to accomplish that goal.

Now we have the Yaoyorozu Rising episode. Fans who hate her often refer to this episode as "evidence for Todomomo", "her being annoying by not knowing what to do," etc. etc. etc. 🙄

I like Todomomo. It's a cute and healthy ship. There are WAY more Todomomo scenes, not in this episode. Todoroki is a side character in Momo's story in this episode. This episode is MOMO'S. Sorry but she’s not sharing the spotlight. I know that seems a little aggressive, sorry, but this episode shows a lot of development in Momo, and it just gets brushed off as Todomomo content when it's not. She did know what to do, btw, she has a plan. She didn't know how to communicate that. She didn't want to communicate that. She was scared that her plan wouldn't work. She was scared that she'd fail. All of that stems back to her defeat at the Sports Festival, she has lost a major amount of confidence, and Aizawa and Todoroki notice this. Aizawa even says that her actions are of a normal 15 year old girl's, and even though he wished to help her, he couldn't, so Todoroki does it in his place. This is something I notice about Momo that is one of the most relatable things I've ever seen in a teenage girl in not just shonen, anime but just in fiction in general: she knows she has a good plan, but she doesn't have confidence in it until someone else gives her the validation. Upon seeing that others trust her, she regains her confidence and fulfills her plans with excellency. She is a REALISTIC 15 YEAR OLD GIRL which is honestly SO refreshing to see in a work of fiction. It's what I love about her character: she represents many teenagers, girls, boys, and theys alike.

And yeah, it might've been annoying if she had stayed the "has good plans but only executes them if she gets the validation from others" type of character. But she doesn't. By season 3, she has shown a significant amount of growth. She is shown to be more of a leader now that she's more confident in herself, and she's still dealing with it (that one scene with Sero & Jiro 💀), but she's gotten a lot better after realizing her worth, after realizing the trust others have in her, after realizing that others see her as an intelligent leader. So in the forest, she quickly comes up with a plan and executes it quickly. Had she not done this, had she not thought and acted quickly, who knows how long it would've taken before the heroes found Bakugo.

Another thing I want to mention before I finish Momo's section- at the hospital, All Might calls her a worthy hero because of her actions. It was her inability to act quickly at the Sports Festival that made her doubt her worth, and it's her ability to act quickly that makes All Might see it. I think this plays a major role for her character, maybe why she ultimately decided to go on the mission to save Bakugo. She's gonna have some of the spotlight to herself during the Joint Training Battle.

I also want to mention something from the manga, if you don't want spoilers then don't read this part.

Some of Midnight's last words in the manga are "Yaoyorozu's going to make a fine leader someday," which shows how her peers and mentors alike notice her potential. Additionally, she proves this statement right by quickly coming up with a plan to stop Gigantomachia. I'm very excited to see how Momo develops into an even more inspiring leader as the manga continues.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

hey I was wondering what do you think of hannibal, both generally and also that ending?

oh god that’s rather complicated. while I’ve watched the full show several months ago, my memory is but a sieve. this time around I only watched season three so I’ll be mostly focusing on that.

but generally... I like hannibal a lot though I think it’s kind of unwieldy and sprawling?

I enjoy its themes, its aesthetic, and the characters’ emotional journeys. I also love the source material and fanfictionesque reinterpretations are my favorite sort of adaptation. the role reversal element is my absolute favorite aspect of season two.

the consistently artsy murders begin to be a bit bullshit after awhile, but they had a vision they were going for and I respect that.

the writing style is notoriously esoteric and overwrought. (the “tell me will” meme khfhgsggdf) I think the show did often have something to say but it was just bullshitting frequently enough to get grating. I adore it when characters get to sit down and have pretentious heart to hearts, that’s everything I want ever. but I just wish there was more natural dialogue in between. not everything needs to be dressed up in obscure metaphors and counter intuitive phrasing. obfuscating what your characters are talking about doesn’t make it more high brow, it just makes it annoying to parse lol.

a big deal breaker for many people is that the show’s also intensely unkind to its female characters. and I think it probably became aware of this around season three given that alana, margot, and freddie are all relatively safe (the former two only after the verger arc is resolved, but still) and how awesome molly is.

that underlying bias is still there though and is evident in how bella’s mercy killed without a thought (or her consent), everything about chiyoh, and how molly and walter pretty much exist as a single unit just to be a family for will to lose. an issue with hannibal is that it doesn’t take its female characters as seriously. and so while it tries to lean towards more equal opportunity violence, or giving us more diversity in its female driven subplots, that fundamental disregard is still there. it shines through, and it is glaring.

anyway, I’ve said it before but imo the single weakest point of... everything, is hannibal himself. I love his characterization and how mads mikkelson portrays him. but the narrative is simply too enamored with him in a way that becomes frustrating. he’s infallible, and invincible, and it’s ridiculous! the larger than life portrayal is fine, initially. but those kinds of villains, you build them up to break them down. there isn’t any catharsis if they’re just perfect, evil cardboard cutouts forever. and hannibal is just that. he barely had any development or progress. his one weakness seems to be his obsession with will— and occasionally the petty need to have the last laugh/have pissing contests with anyone who might try to upstage him, but I don’t think the narrative really acknowledges or even realizes that that is a weakness. the narrative framing is frequently just as petty as he is, so I really doubt there’s much self awareness there.

anyway I liked the ending a lot! but imo it’s also not a positive one as opposed to more of a psychological unspooling. I feel bad for will? and I want him to be happy? which isn’t a thing I think he can necessarily achieve while in hannibal’s clutches. but as a conclusion to the show, it’s a satisfying one for me.

I think there’s a tremendous amount of despair in that final bloody embrace and choice to throw them both off the cliff.

over the course of the show we see will grow to trust hannibal, to hating him for everything he’s putting him through. and then eventually coming out of the whole “gaslit to hell and back and framed for serial murder” ordeal and realizing that that fostered codependency is still there. he grapples with that through a lot of season two, dithering between turning him in/helping him be captured, and letting hannibal go. he ultimately decides on the latter (apparently on an impulse) and that results in so much bloodshed and misery. clearly it isn’t an option. but once hannibal’s finally captured, his bullshit profiling is apparently still imperative to solving serial killer cases lol and he’s *still* pulling all the strings from inside his cell! neither of these outcomes have been any good. it leaves will without real options.

I think it’s ambiguous if the breaking point is more genuine codependency/realizing he’s just as obsessed with hannibal as vice versa or the fact that hannibal almost killed his entire family and will probably continue to terrorize them all lmfao. in all likelihood it’s a mix of both. but there is a breaking point and bedelia outright states the dilemma: can’t live with him, can’t live without him. so will opts to go down with him instead. and I love that! it’s very cathartic and upsetting and fraught.

the very first time I saw the post credit scene I was pretty mad about it bc bedelia was my favorite character but at this point I’m desensitized. I get why they went for a shock value scene and by that point their cast was dwindling.

but yeah that scene leaves many interesting questions. how the fuck did they survive, did they both survive? hallucinating your best buddy is def a recurring theme in this lol. is will cool with the cannibalism? what’s the plan?? what happened to molly???

they’re questions I don’t necessarily need answered though. I’d like to see a season four but I’m also happy with where it ended, even if it’s kind of gutting for will to end up stuck with hannibal lmao

[discotreque]

Disco 3.04: Forget Me Not

The way Doug Jones delivered “Previously, on Star Trek: Discovery” this week—audibly out of makeup, almost entirely out of character, and over the super-intense footage from 3.02 of Disco plummeting helplessly to a shattered ruin of a planet—in such a brisk, cheerful little chirp had me laughing so hard I was wheezing. I could see his little mannerisms and everything 😂

I slept like a brick last night, so I’m a little too disoriented for much of a preamble. Let’s get right into it. Spoilers ahoy:

REPAIR ROBOTS!!!

Prop watch: the “salt-shaker” medical scanner Culber uses during his opening voiceover is by far the most elaborate we’ve ever seen on Star Trek. Try to fit that into the top of your tricorder. (I guess it’s connected to an iPad now...)

Adira has amnesia too? Literally a mystery wrapped in a mystery, lol.

Stop calling it a squid! It’s an ankylosaur! (ˈaŋkɪləsɔː)

Michael asks Adira on the bridge if the planet Trill looks familiar. Not to be a planet-racist, but don’t all Class M planets kind of look alike from orbit? I’m not sure I could reliably recognize that much of Earth, especially under so much beautifully rendered CGI cloud cover.

I’m going to be praising Doug Jones a lot this season—he’s not just playing Saru as captain, he’s playing Captain Saru in an interesting and distinctive way. He’s not the babysitting big brother anymore—now he’s their dad, and he’s still visibly getting used to the role. It’s played so sweet and subtle and I’m really loving it, and the way the show as a whole is leaning into the “family” vibe this season.

The holographic version of a red-yarn-string conspiracy board that Michael is using when she talks to Culber is one of those acceptable sci-fi breaks from reality for me. It looks super cool and futuristic, but imagine actually working like that for a few hours. Your arms would get exhausted. My neck hurts just watching her crane around. And the eyestrain of focusing on glowing shit, in mid-air, at various distances, with no backdrop whatsoever? Fuck off completely with that. But it’s simple and tactile, so the audience immediately understands the general idea of what she’s doing, and it’s literally see-through, so we can simultaneously know how she feels about it. And if you’re not a total weirdo like me, you won’t be thinking about any of this, except maybe “oh, neat!” when Culber first walks in—it just helps establish Michael’s state of mind at the beginning of the scene.

OKAY SO TWO EXTREMELY IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT MICHAEL’S QUARTERS. First, she decorated!!! 😭😭😭 Last season they made a point of (repeatedly!) contrasting her uhhhh “minimalist” living space with Tilly’s more personalized and homey side of the room, and now they explicitly note that Michael either brought her 32nd-century knick-knacks over from Book’s ship or replicated a bunch of new ones for Disco, and frankly either scenario makes my heart want to scream into a pillow.

THE SECOND THING IS THAT SHE’S STILL LIVING WITH TILLY??? ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDDING ME WITH THIS SAPPHIC SHIT. I WAS READY TO BID MY SAD FAREWELLS TO MYLVIA AND HOP ON THE BURNBOOK TRAIN AND YOU DO T H I S??? YOU’RE PLAYING WITH MY HEART, MICHELLE.

I thought it was unfair that people were criticizing the last episode for not like, fully developing every single one of the plot points it was obviously setting up to play out over the rest of the season—but fair or not, I was genuinely surprised when they came back to Michael’s insecurities around leadership, so I guess this show is still working on winning me over too.

“Post-traumatic growth... can inspire us to evolve, to live our lives in a different way.” Well, fuck 😭😭😭😭😭

This is going to sound like either rank sarcasm or damnation by the faintest of praise, but it’s actually a genuine and heartfelt compliment: I did not expect this show to ever even approach the emotional depths of the recent She-Ra reboot on Netflix, let alone include a conversation that directly evoked one of the most powerful moments of that entire series for me. “You know what I love about you most? You’re a responsibility hoarder” has the exact same energy as “You’re worth more than what you can give to other people,” and it sucker-punched me right in the goddamned heart. Let 2020 be the year all our overly self-sacrificing heroines learn to let themselves accept the same love and support they give so freely.

AND THEN SHE JUST LAUNCHES INTO BIG-SISTER MODE WITH ADIRA??? Put me in a photon torpedo and shoot me into space while Scotty plays Amazing Grace on the bagpipes because I am D-E-A-D dead. (Also any time SMG lets her accent out a little bit I just fucking swoon, and apparently that accent is an integral component of her big-sis persona, so 😍😍😍😍😍)

I have been waiting my entire life for a Star Trek character who stuns first and asks questions later.

No. No WAY. THIS is how the Disco computer becomes Zora??? Basically the same way Data created Moriarty, except with a boost from the sphere data, and driven by Saru wanting to heal the crew’s emotional trauma? Holy SHIT.

I’m not sure I realized how many gaps existed in Trill lore until now. We knew a lot about Dax’s specific experiences, but I never had a good sense for how “typical” Dax actually was, and I feel like I learned more about Trill in general in this episode than I did over seven seasons of DS9, which is cool.

Listen, Saru, if you want to have family dinners with the crew, sometimes they’re going to turn out like family dinners.

The closed captions when Michael was arriving in the Trill dreamscape or whatever said (ambient warbling), which is also one of my favourite genres of music.

“I know you’re afraid, but you have to let them connect with you.” OKAY, STOP, JUST STOP.

I guess it wouldn’t be Discovery if every other character didn’t have a grotesquely tragic backstory, but Adira and Gray’s managed to cram about half a dozen of my favourite romantic tropes into a few fleeting moments of screen time before crashing into my heart—much like an asteroid crashing into the side of a generation ship that really should have solved the “random asteroid collision” problem at, like, the blueprints stage—so this one hurt even more than usual.

(Looking forward to blocking all the cis people with ~scorching hot takes~ about Adira and Gray this week. If you’re not trans, then your feelings and opinions about this are literally meaningless to me.)

One of Tal’s previous hosts is seen in a circa-2399 Starfleet uniform, which unfortunately doesn’t fit him any better than it fit anyone on Picard. We also get a (presumably fairly contemporary) admiral’s uniform on Senna, but there’s a lady on the far left with a different style of uniform but the same “post-canon” oval-backed delta concept for the combadge, and I wanted to see more of that one.

AWWWWW, STAMETS ACTUALLY DID STOP BEING A JERK, GOOD FOR HIM <3 (And if I’ve learned anything from science fiction, it’s that dark matter can do literally whatever the writers want, so this seems like a promising road of inquiry!)

Is Gray going to live in Adira’s head like a non-toxic version of Six and Baltar on Battlestar Galactica? Because I am into it.

...and that’s four in a row that ended with a goddamned tsunami of feelings. It’s still finding its feet, but this new version of the show—this slower, softer, sweeter version of Discovery, and the things it’s even attempting—you could say it gives me hope.

Next week: we finally get to see Starfleet in the 32nd century, who are as friendly as everyone else has been so far, and I’m going to have to figure out who’s playing the admiral who talks to Michael in the trailer, because he’s such a “Hey, It’s That Guy!” I got whiplash.

[ickle-ronniekins]

everything and more, part III

hi loves, here’s part tres for everything and more featuring your (two) favorite redhead(s) ! sorry if this is sad

A/N: also, if you’d like to conjure more emotion whilst reading this, listen to find me in the river by kj app + jj heller from the movie i still believe—it will seriously fuck you up lol

tag list for fred: @mintlibri @seppys-return-to-madness @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @how-do-life-does @semmelsemi @perksofbeingawf @cottageoflove

other: @gwenandtheunfortunatename @bbystrawberry0421 @valwritesx

PART I | PART II | EVERYTHING AND MORE

1997, Fall

You both had come a long way since school.

That young boy and girl felt so far away.

What happened to them?

Downstairs, Fred was helping George close up the shop. You peered out the window of your apartment and the dark clouds seemed to be swallowing the little town whole.

Things were different. The unknown was scary. You and Fred had been forced to grow up sooner than you’d wanted too.

You glanced at the pile of papers upon the desk in the bedroom.

The Daily Prophet was going absolutely wild with all of these stories and accusations.

Molly Weasley spent most of her evenings crying in agony.

So did you.

What happened to the sixteen year old girl who floated around the castle, not having a care in the world? Besides studying, of course. What happened to the boy that she loved—carefree and wild and happy-go-lucky? Sometimes, it seemed like he was gone.

Fred begrudgingly shut off the lights in the shop, taking the stairs one by one, very slowly. George had left for the Burrow, so it was just the two of you alone tonight. You’d been fighting more often than not. Things didn’t feel the same. They weren’t, of course.

“You need to stay and work with the Prophet. They need you! I don’t want you getting hurt! It’s too dangerous!”

“I don’t care about the bloody Prophet—I’m coming with you! Would you get it through your thick head already? I’m staying with you!”

There was a twinge of guilt in Fred’s heart as he thought on those arguments—too many to count on two hands, when he looked back. They were more frequent than not. He peered at the door, taking a few moments to just stand in front of your home before he entered. He was tired and sad, but most of all, he was more frightened than he’d ever been in his entire life.

He opened the door slowly, and he saw you in one of his button down shirts, singing something off key whilst making dinner underneath the pale yellow kitchen light. You smiled at him—perching your glasses on your nose and winking before pulling him into you.

No, wait. That couldn’t be right. He was daydreaming, longing for that. His eyes eventually adjusted to the scene in front of him. You were standing in the middle of the living space in the dull desk light, hurriedly scribbling something down on a piece of parchment, desperate to get this piece finished by midnight in just a few hours time.

“Still working?” he asked. No greeting. He felt guilt pull at his heart, but didn’t do anything to change it. He swallowed over a lump in his throat.

You looked up, wishing to be driven mad by his bright, toothy smile as he threw his suit jacket haphazardly over the couch and began unbuttoning his vest and shirt before chasing you into the bedroom, leaving dinner uneaten. But he stood near the door in the kitchen, running a hand through the back of his hair and placing his jacket on the coat hanger before turning on the tea kettle.

“Prophet’s going bonkers,” you told him, hardly looking up from the pile in your hands. “I’ll heat dinner in a moment. How’s the shop?”

“Business is dead lately,” Fred replied. “Not that I blame people. Wouldn’t want to be out during this madness, anyway.”

“Maybe it’ll pick up soon.”

“Love that enthusiasm of yours.”

At first you felt a surge of familiarity when you heard his sarcasm, expecting to see that silly smirk when you looked up. But instead you saw tired eyes and a clenched jaw as Fred pulled two teacups from the cabinet.

It seemed like it was only yesterday that Fred had told you he was leaving.

That he and his brother were opening something up in Diagon Alley.

It seemed like it was only yesterday that it was the first time you visited—a surprise, of course. Molly and Ginny kept you at the Burrow for a few days but didn’t say a word, so as not to make Fred suspicious. You were only in the store mere seconds, not even able to take everything in before he was teasing you and pulling you into a nearby closet, laughing playfully, desperate for your touch, even though it had only been a few months since graduation.

“Freddie—what’s gotten into you? Your brother is in the next room!”

“It’s been four months, darling—I’m not even going to try and resist you,”

You missed it desperately.

The whistle of the tea kettle pulled you back.

Fred was standing over it, letting the steam hit his skin. It was a few moments before he poured slowly. You watched him closely, examining his every movement. He was so tired.

He brought you a cup, smiling weakly at you before placing a featherlight kiss to your temple. You were supposed to be a couple in love—all over each other all the time, so cruciatingly, sickeningly in love—making everyone else second guess theirs, thinking, shouldn’t we be more like them? It seemed to all fade away once the impending war drew closer. Stress mixed with youth caused for a dangerous game, one you didn’t wish to play.

“Hungry?” you asked.

Fred turned to face you from the door of the bedroom. “It’s alright—I’ll fix myself a plate later. I know you’ve a lot of work to do, don’t want to interrupt. Have got to fix some malfunctions on a few products, anyway.”

You nodded guiltily before watching him offer a small grin before heading into the bedroom. Work had seemed to take over your entire life in the midst of all the chaos. He kept the door open—was it an invite? You didn’t know. You sat down at the desk instead, pulling at your hair and continuing to agonize over this article. You bit down on your lip so as not to cry.

Just a few feet away inside your room, Fred fought back tears as he fiddled around with perfectly in tune products for the shop. But you were so distracted, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, anyway.

1998, Late Winter/Early Spring

Instead of being covered in a glistening white blanket of snow, the Burrow looked rundown and forgotten. Surely spring was on it’s way and would brighten the place up a bit? You did your best to water the inside plants to perk them up, and began to brew a fresh pot of tea.

Mrs. Weasley came into the kitchen with a basket full of clean laundry.

“Here,” you said, handing her a teacup instead. “Let me help you. Take a rest.”

She’d been working herself to the bone nonstop. Normally, it was only you, Molly, and Ginny at the Burrow. Ron was God knows where with Harry and Hermione, Fred and George were at the shop, Percy and Bill and Arthur at work.

A few weeks prior, Fred had told you how worried he was that his mother didn’t look well, and wanted someone to check in on her more. It was almost a perfect opportunity, to spend some time away from one another—not that you wanted to, but it was becoming necessary. The fighting turned into monotone conversations about work, war, work, war. Nothing else was exchanged. Kisses were few and far between. You promised to stay at the Burrow a few days each week, looking after Mrs. Weasley and Ginny. Fred was grateful.

“Thank you, dear,” she said, taking a much needed rest on the couch. You sat down next to her.

You smiled softly and began to fold the laundry.

The silence between you both was comfortable, something you very much enjoyed about your relationship with Molly. It was never forced, and didn’t need to be. It was that way from the first day you met her all those years ago.

“D’you really...think we’ll be alright?” you asked suddenly when you found your voice. “After this war, I mean.”

“Oh, of course,” Mrs. Weasley said, but her eyes spoke differently. She was always telling the young ones different things, so as not to worry all of you. But with you, it was different. It always had been. She said she saw some sort of maturity in you, and didn’t mind being honest. She hesitated before confiding, “but I am very, very worried.”

“Me, too.”

She smiled weakly at you and placed a hand over yours. “About the war, dear?” she asked, and immediately, the tears began to well up in your eyes. “Or about Fred?”

Since the day you’d met, Molly had been like a second mother—taking you in under her wing, treating you as a daughter no matter what—which was comforting, especially during this time when you were far away from your family. You’d been crying yourself to sleep nearly every evening—whether it was at your desk, or as silently as you could next to Fred in your bedroom while he slept soundfully, or alone in the office, writing away while he was busy in the shop. And Fred was so sad and spread to thin as well, that he hadn’t even noticed. You choked on a loud cry and fell into Molly’s shoulder, sobbing violently. Like it had been pent up for so long, and was now bursting at the seams.

“Shh,” she told you quietly, running a hand over your hair. “It’s alright.” She had a bit of a hitch to her voice, and you knew she was trying everything in her power to hold it together for you in that moment. You squeezed her hand in gratefulness. You knew Fred had confided in her about your constant arguing, because you’d done the same, and she didn’t seem all that surprised when you told her. “You’re all so young to be dealing with so much.” She was right. You didn’t want to be worrying about a war every single bloody minute of everyday. It was taking a toll on everyone around you. “But pride, it’s...an awful thing. Just terrible.”

You knew that, but hearing it from Molly made all the difference. You barely even remembered what you and Fred had been arguing about. Stupid things, silly things. Which then turned into arguments about the war, and fighting in it. You can’t, he’d told you, you need to stay with Mum and Ginny. You’d fired back that you could do anything he could.

But she was right.

Molly pressed a kiss to your cheek before muttering, “Don’t let it pull you apart from the ones you love.”

Diagon Alley was desolate. It was extremely unnerving, a sight you wish you could unsee.

You weren’t surprised to see the lights in the shop off so early.

Nervously, you made your way upstairs.

When you walked into the apartment, Fred was sitting at the kitchen table, hovering over bills and paperwork and things. It aged him. You sighed at the sight. He looked up at you.

“Hi,” you said, your voice sounding broken. You cleared your throat and then asked, “You look exhausted. Have you eaten?”

“Hi. Erm, no,” he replied with a faint smile. “I was waiting for you. I figured we could whip something up together.”

You felt a twinge of guilt, but appreciated his patience. “‘M sorry I’m late, was having a chat with your mum.”

“She alright?”

“Yes,” you replied, placing a hand to his cheek. “Took some much needed rest.”

You began to pull ingredients out of the pantry and refrigerator to begin cooking something, and Fred did the same. You both fell into a comfortable silence as you worked. The kitchen warmed up, the chopping sound of the ingredients keeping you grounded and in the moment.

But still, your mind liked to wander.

At one point, Fred pointed to the countertop and said, “Chives and bacon?”

You stared at him. “But of course, it’s delicious—”

He let out a genuine laugh for the first time in...you didn’t even know how long. And it reminded you of when you’d first moved in together.

“You can’t put chocolate chips and blueberries in,”

“Well, why not?” you’d asked.

Fred snorted. Morning sunlight was flooding the kitchen. “Because, that’s—strange. It’s one or the other. You can’t possibly tell me that tastes good.”

You pressed a light kiss to his lips. “You haven’t had my pancakes yet, love. They’re delicious.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

But you hadn’t even gotten to breakfast that morning. Not until way later, when the pancake batter became warm and you’d both built up quite an appetite. You’d become...tied up, literally.

“Reckon we should probably eat,” you told him as he nuzzled closer.

“Five more minutes?”

You pulled the bed sheet over your bare chest and snuggled into him. “Fine. But only because you asked nicely.”

“Thought I already was being nice for the last hour and a half,” he winked.

You slapped him playfully before he pulled you in and pressed his lips to yours.

“I’m holding you to that,” Fred said, bringing you to the present. He placed his hand on the small of your back as he reached above you to grab something from a high cabinet. You saw traces of that young boy when you looked at him, a small grin tugging at the edges of his lips. He peered at you with solemn eyes. He asked quietly, “What is it?”

Something about the Weasleys and their soft spoken voices in times of vulnerability made you breakdown absolutely each and every time. Tears escaped your eyes with no effort, and Fred pulled you into a bone crushing embrace. You placed a hand on his chest as you cried, and felt his heartrate increase quite rapidly. “I am so sorry,” he said, muffled by your hair. You felt him sob in your arms, too.

“I’m sorry,” you managed to choke out, “I’m so sorry. I miss you.”

“I miss you more.”

This kiss finally felt like a real one, one exchanged between two people who truly loved one another even in times of defeat and anger—not something shared between two people because they lived under the same roof and felt obligated too. It was the first time in months it finally felt pure.

“We’ve been rubbish at loving one another.”

“Terrible,” you replied. His eyes were bloodshot—you hated seeing Fred cry. You’d only seen it two other times—once, right before he and George finally left Hogwarts and he was saying goodbye to you for a little while, and the other, when George got hurt a few months prior. He never, ever let anyone see him get upset. You promised yourself you’d never do anything to make Fred cry. “I am...really scared.”

He nodded and fought back tears again, looking at you with a kind of nervousness you’d never seen before. “Me, too,” he admitted as he continued to run his hands through your hair. You wanted nothing more than to forget about everything going on, and just—have a normal night, for once. Before everything spiraled.

It’s as if he read your mind, because he pushed the ingredients away from you both on the countertop and picked you up and placed you there. He brushed his shirt sleeve over his red, puffy eyes, and all you could see was youth.

“You know what I really want to eat?”

Confused, you wiped tears away from your face and his. It seemed like they were escaping his eyes with no effort too, but he was smiling at you. A true smile. The one and only. “What?” you asked, playing with the baby fine hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Some pancakes.”

You smiled gratefully at him, straightening his shirt collar and smoothing down any wrinkles you found. “With blueberries and chocolate chips?”

“Of course—it’s delicious.”

He pulled you into a tight embrace and lifted you off of the countertop. You were weightless to him. You wrapped your legs around his waist and you could feel him sobbing again. “I love you, okay?” His voice began to break. “I have since that midnight stroll when I walked you back to your common room, and I always will—no matter what.”

“I love you, too,” you choked back, biting your tongue to keep from letting out hoarse cries, “and I promise to show you everyday.”

It still wasn’t normal. It wouldn’t be for a while. That was a terrifying thought, one that kept you up at night. At least he had his arms around you. But this—this was a start—the start of something new, different, okay. One you both were grateful for.

reblogs + feedback are greatly appreciated, helps me when i write x

[sheblah]

Plz give us the risky™️ post about shadow weaver being in the vibe check. Plz.

I was hoping and/or dreading that someone would ask lol

I might as well share my thoughts. This got long, sorry. Some of you may think this answer is a cop-out or I'm thinking about it too hard, but just hear me out.

Obviously Double Trouble was wrong about Catra "driving away" Shadow Weaver, and it's very messed up to say she did, being a victim of Shadow Weaver's abuse since childhood. But here's the thing.

I don't think Double Trouble knew the true nature of Catra and Shadow Weaver's relationship.

"But they're a spy!" I hear you saying. "Their whole thing is gathering information!"

Listen. They weren't there to see any interactions between Catra and SW - not a single one. By the time they came on the scene, SW had sodded off to Bright Moon quite some time ago. The only way they could have learned about Catra's abuse would be from someone else. And the only person who could have told them the whole truth was Catra, and she would never volunteer that information to anyone - she wouldn't willingly be that vulnerable. Heck, she even hid it from Adora when they were friends. And besides Catra, nobody else knew about it.

That's right, nobody knew the true nature of Catra and SW's relationship. Not Scorpia, not Adora, not even Shadow Weaver herself. Because nobody else saw it for what it was.

Scorpia knows a Catra who fought back against her unfair superior officer - who fearlessly beat SW, put her in a cell, and claimed her title. She knows that SW was important to Catra, to the extent that her leaving for Bright Moon devastated Catra. But she didn't know the innocent young girl who was helpless against a grown attacker. Honestly, if she had any idea how badly SW traumatized her wildcat? She wouldn't have been nearly as cordial as she was when she met SW in Bright Moon. (And even if she did piece it together, I don't think Scorpia ever got the chance to talk to DT directly before the secret mission.)

But if anyone knew the truth, it would be Adora, right? She was there! Well, yes... but also no. Adora saw what was happening, but never consciously comprehended that it was abuse. She's never shown anger or resentment toward SW for what she did to Catra specifically. That's because what she saw (or thought she saw) was punishment. Scary, painful punishment, sure - but not senseless cruelty. SW convinced her there was a reason for it. Catra was misbehaving. Adora didn't keep her in line well enough. It wasn't entirely undeserved, because Catra made a mistake! And whatever happened to Catra wasn't SW's fault - it was Adora's fault for not protecting her well enough. Adora was groomed to think Catra deserved the punishment, even if it hurt to see it happen. And then as they grew up, she saw Catra deliberately exhibiting behaviors that would upset SW, like being late for training and a general lack of ambition - seemingly giving SW more reason to treat her as the un-favorite. Plus, as I mentioned, Catra never gave Adora the full picture. She downplayed and minimized and suggested the worst thing she suffered in the Fright Zone was boredom. Adora saw it, she witnessed it - but she still doesn't truly Know.

Besides all that, I can't see Adora willingly talking about her childhood with Catra. Not to Flutterina, a brand new recruit, and not after the portal incident shattered the part of her that still considered Catra a friend. She was in no position to sympathize with Catra at the time Flutterina joined the Alliance.

And Shadow Weaver? Yeah, she should very well know that Catra never deserved anything she did to her. And yet! She doesn't even think she did anything wrong! She's never shown a single iota of remorse for her unfair and cruel treatment of Catra. Even if she did talk to Flutterina/DT at some point off screen, she wouldn't have revealed that she's an abuser, because she doesn't think she is one. Plus, of the three, she's by far the least likely to give Flutterina/DT any of her personal history.

No one else in the Alliance could have let it slip, because they didn't know anything. It doesn't seem like Adora has ever told her BFFs Glimmer or Bow about Catra in detail, much less the other princesses.

That's why I doubt DT could have known about the abuse, even with their intel gathering skills. For lack of firsthand observation, they could only know what everyone else knew, and nobody else knew the entire truth.

We also need to analyze the Vibe Check itself, and stay with me, because I feel this is the strongest evidence. In the moment they turn into SW, this is what they say:

"People have hurt you, haven't they? They didn't believe in you..."

...As if THAT'S the worst thing SW has ever done to hurt Catra. Just... not believing in her. The magical attacks, the threats, the manipulation? Nope! The most painful thing is that Mommy Thinks You're a Screwup. This tells me that, as far as DT knows, it IS the worst thing she's done. Because they're aiming to really hurt Catra here! They picked out all the most important people in her life and threw their most hurtful injustices in her face. Hordak, the highest authority figure in her life, didn't trust her... despite her clawing her way through hell to prove herself. Adora didn't need her, left her... despite supposedly being her closest friend since childhood. And Shadow Weaver...

...didn't believe in her. Like... okay, if DT knew what their relationship was really like, they would have done a lot better than that.

There's also the fact that it doesn't fit the pattern. Catra really did drive away the other three in one way or another. Hordak - she got rid of Entrapta and lied to him about it. Adora - gave up on Catra after she activated the portal. Scorpia - left because Catra was a bad friend. These are all true. They hurt Catra because they're true. So why would DT knowingly throw in one lie when they clearly know the truth hurts more? This tells me the falsehood was not deliberate.

They didn't know. They couldn't have known. I don't mean this in a "tHeY dIdN't MeAn To HuRt HeR!" way. They definitely did. They hurt her the best they knew how. And they could and would have done it way more effectively if they knew what SW did to Catra, which they didn't.

Here's what they did know. 1) Catra has a tendency to sabotage her most important relationships. 2) At least two of those relationships ended with the other person leaving her and joining the Alliance. 3) Shadow Weaver also left the Fright Zone and joined the Alliance.

They saw the pattern. The same thing happened with both Adora and Scorpia. They didn't know what Catra did to drive SW away, but it had to be something, because she's already driven two (2) people into the Alliance, and here's a third woman who fits the mold. They probably thought that Catra was such a terrible subordinate and problem child that SW preferred to switch sides and be with her star pupil rather than waste any more time on Catra. The trick is, even though that's objectively false, the punch still landed because part of Catra actually believes that.

They took what little knowledge they had about Catra + SW, put it all together, and came to a conclusion. It was the wrong conclusion, so their accusation was very messed up - but a different kind of messed up than they were going for.

If I'm right, then if and how this gets addressed in S5 is anybody's guess. What my dumb heart wants is for DT to learn the truth, go "ah crap, I wanted to devastate her but not with a LIE, that's beneath me," and then admit they were wrong about that part when they meet Catra again. But that's awfully hopeful lol