#this was drawn in the year of the ox lmao

[beepsbees]

no use crying over spilled milk

[sunfishsiestalah]

🍍Happy Lunar New Year!🍍

This was inspired by really worn-out Lunar New Year ornaments, calendars, and cut-out pages of fashion magazines from the 1980s - 1990s that are always present on the walls of my local barbershops

Reference from an ad illustration by René Gruau

[officialgleamstar]

9, 12, 13, 16, 21 (fandom ask game :3)

fandom ask game

hiii sorry i dipped because tumblr is being weird today but im back :3 i already told you that on discord though. hi spainy :]

9. Write a recommendation of someone else's fic you enjoyed!

i know this isnt my mcyt blog but who cares. take my hermitshipping on main, boy. so much for stardust is a must-read for any team zits enjoyer <3 such an interesting take on all of their characters, really fun sci-fi world-building with different alien types and factions, lots of angst and hurt/comfort, its fantastic <3 theres even human experimentation. i need skizzpulse to kiss already. please please ple

12. What's the funniest or craziest AU idea you've ever come up with?

i dont really do many crazy aus nowadays, but by way of being a crossover fic, i would say probably (can you kiss me more?) :D sorry you do not know these characters, spain.

13. What's a character or ship you haven't written/drawn yet but would like to some day?

sorry you dont know these character either, spain. UHHHH hm. i dont know. i write so many things LMAO i think i wanna write more ox blades fic in general, since ive only written lilith and edvard before (that ive posted anyways, lol)!! i dont particularly have like. many ships within that, which is why i struggle to write anything gjbfdjhbgfhjdbjg <- ROMANCEPILLED FANFIC AUTHOR. LAUGH AT THEM. sorry. no genuinely though i wanna write those characters because i love them a lot :]

16. Do people irl know you participate in fandom?

some people do! most of my friends do, and my family knows as well. i dont bring it up at work though haha

21. Go onto your AO3. Which ship have you written for the most? The least? Does this correspond to who you consider your "favourite?"

sorry you dont kn-- jodie/ron and corazón/merilwen are tied, which is really funny because i've been obsessed with rodie for like, almost a year, and i've been obsessed with piratewoods for only a few months XD rodie absolutely is my favorite within dndads, they are in my pinned post for a reason! and piratewoods iiis not my favorite, but they are absolutely my favorite non-polyship, so! yeah, they definitely correspond :]

[missingteethblog]

04/23/2020 - 20:50

The past few days have been really overwhelming, and also I forgot/didn’t have the motivation to write anything so here we are.

4/20 was great, the high wasn’t as terrifying as the last time, and during my high I apparently made the conclusion that I was in fact bi instead of gay and I wrote a whole note on my notes app about liking women as well as who I’m normally attracted to. When I read it (sober) in the morning I just thought “huh, well I’m not bi. what “ yeah it was a journey. Otherwise very chill night, very glad I wasn’t working the next day. I honestly don’t remember anything else from that day, or Monday and Tuesday for that matter. Wednesday was a shit show though.

Wednesday started off pretty okay, went to work and got scoffed at by a manager form another dept for literally no reason so that was great, make me anxious for the rest of the entire day. It was also my dad’ birthday, and I decorated the cake (sister saw I was decorating it, asked if she could just go and I said yes because I was almost done) and later that day my mom came upstairs and told us to do something more with the cake and I thought “well, I already did my part, my sister can do the rest” and by mom decided that me and my sister were arguing (she wanted me to help even though I literally did the majority of the cake) and so she started yelling at us for it which sent me into an anxiety attack (which my mom calls “shutting down”). When she told me that I needed to “snap out of it” and that I would “ruin dad’s birthday if I acted like this for the rest of the night” I just kind of snapped and told her that every single time I have “shut down” that I had been having an anxiety attack. Which made her stop calling it that (as she had been calling it that since I started having these episodes as a child. Anyways that was shit. That was ass. Cried about it for a little bit before vaping and feeling better.

 At NIGHT though, that’s when the “fun” began. I had to go to bed at 11pm (went to bed at 11:45 instead lmao) and instead of falling asleep, my brain decided to fixate on every single extremely graphic detail about everything I did while self harming, especially two particular incidents (tw graphic next part) where 1) I cut out a chunk of my flesh from the crook of my elbow which makes it impossible to get blood drawn from that arm anymore so it’s pretty bad and 2) when I cut really deep in my left forearm down past the veins (through, actually) down into the fat, and remembered (very graphically) sitting on my floor around all my stuff just squeezing around the cut so I could see the fat coming out of the cut. (tw over) Both of these disgusted my to the point where I could not fall asleep because of how awful and revolted I felt, because when you’re in that mindset (while using the coping mechanism) you don’t understand how fucked up and awful and disturbing the behaviour is until you look back on it once you’re out of that mindset (not using the coping mechanism anymore). That went on for about 2 hours before I checked my phone for the time and saw that Crywank was doing a livestream, so because I’m a faggot I watched it and they (James) responded to 4 of my comments and they were so sweet and the livestream was so good and calm (I watched it until it ended around 2:30am), and because they had interacted with 4 of my comments, and I (+ the people watching the stream) learned some things about When You Eat Yourself First Start with Your Head up Your Arse (that I won’t write about) and about them in general and it was so good I felt so much better afterward. Still didn’t fall asleep until 3:30am but I fell asleep on a much better note than very very graphic trauma. :)

Today was also shit. Got told my the meat dept manager that I wasn’t doing my job right (I was doing exactly as he told me to do) to which he corrected me by telling me to do exactly what I had been doing BEFORE he corrected me (about a month ago when I first started working as acting supervisor) which was incredibly frustrating. He seems to be pissed at me for zero reason. He also told me that I either had to come in earlier or stay at work later so that I can get the frozen and fresh loads and put them out. Earlier: the store opens at 7am, I get there at 8am and open and do everything and people are buying things from my dept, I cannot feasibly come in later than 8am. Later: believe it or not, I’m trying to graduate school during fucking quarantine right now and can’t put all my energy into work (which I am doing anyways!). So his response? To get passive aggressive with me and told one of his employees that she had to do my job since I can’t stay later than I’m scheduled. If you want me to behave like an actual supervisor, then I need to be paid the supervisor’s wage instead of my minimum wage. Bruh. I have also been working there for 3 months and am the only competent person working my dept right now. Anyways, that shit got me riled up and upset.

Later that afternoon I had a really long and deep conversation with my best friend (mostly me talking, which is abnormal). We talked about gender, the trans community, Crywank (me), what had happened on Wednesday night (me), weird nazi foot fetish porn that she found on pornhub, me simping for James (Crywank) like a faggot (which included me admitting that, since we have things in common that are kind of rare to find in other people, if we were closer in age )(they’re 12 years older than me) that we would definitely be at least mutuals I guess), my sex-repulsion and lack of sex drive, and our shared fetish. It was really nice, I definitely needed it because I felt a lot better afterwards. I don’t normally talk about myself and my problems because it makes me feel extremely self-centered and selfish (both of which are actual triggers of mine), but today I had a LOT of things I needed to talk about, so I talked about them and it was really relieving. 

Also figured out a quarantine project: I’m going to put all the Crywank albums on cassettes (I messaged them on twitter and they said that it was alright) and I’m really excited to do that!! Really looking forward to it. They’re also doing a livestream concert on Saturday and I’m really really really looking forward to it! :))

Currently listening to Cough Blood On The Moon Soon by Foot Ox.