#this was all worth it just to share that recipe for gochujang beans honestly it's so good and so simple haha

[vaguely-concerned]

@boppinrobin said:

Do you have little seeds of bean wisdom to impart to bean novices? (also very much congratulations on consistently edible to pleasant results <333)

aww thank you! It has been a long, rocky and mildly humiliating road to get here (nothing more humbling than to find yourself bested by a navy bean), but I feel like I'm finally getting the hang of it. And I'm happy to share what I've learned (some of it in the territory of 'this is so obvious most recipes don't even mention it but I. did not know what I did not know until I sat there with a pot of sub-par legumes and, with bowed head and troubled heart, sadly knew')

This ended up much longer than I meant for it to, but what else is new with me haha -- these are the steps I go through!

1. Rinsing the beans under the tap to get any dust or dirt off!

2. Put the beans in your pot of choice (make sure it has plenty of room!), and fill with water until it’s at least twice the volume of the beans. (I salt the water at this point because I’ve found timing doesn’t make much of a difference ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ after many hours of reading different opinions on this I can report only one thing for sure: Opinions Do, in fact, Differ lol, this works well for me though). I’ve found ‘slightly less salty than seawater brine’ is a good level to aim for. Let the beans soak overnight, or for like 24 hours it won’t do any harm and might do some good. 

2.2. I did a little experiment this time around and found that adding a teaspoon of baking powder to the water really DID make my butter beans soften much much faster and have a more pleasant and uniform texture at the end! The batch without it took forever and barely got there, while the baking powder one got there in half the time. Idk if the mineral composition of the water you’re using comes into this at all, but the effect was pretty clear with my setup here. The size of the individual bean is probably also a factor, smaller white beans don’t need this step in my experience. 

3. Bringing the pot to the boil, remove the foam that starts to form on the surface as you go. I let it boil vigorously for like 1-3 minutes for white beans, though I think you have to be more careful with that if you’re making kidney beans (which have more of the. Y’know. Chemical Stuff that can be real bad for you if not sufficiently heat treated, from how I understand it; look up some of the advice around that before setting out on that journey specifically!). If you let them boil for too long like this they’ll start to fall apart, though. 

4. In my experience, highly important step to get right: Turn down the heat to the merest simmer. No but for real tho, lower. Lower than that. There should barely be any observable movement in that pot at all, they’re really gently steeping more than they’re simmering. (My stovetop goes to setting 9, I usually go for 6 when I’m simmering almost anything else, and I tend to use setting 4 for this stage, sometimes with the lid sort of jauntily half-on, to give an idea of what I aim for.) Since they’re not banging into each other or the sides of the pot, they stay more intact than if the water is moving them around a lot. 

5. You can add a bay leaf, Soup/Stock Vegetable, or any spice or herb you’d like at this point to flavour the broth! After trial and error I’ve found I prefer to have a bean that’s pretty neutral-tasting on its own and to add more flavour through whatever I’m cooking with them later, so I stick with only the salt. 

6. This one was a game changer for me — add a little bit (1-2 tablespoons maybe? A bit less? I eyeball it) of cooking/olive oil to the water! It makes the beans taste soo much richer and fuller, very nearly this one weird trick territory    

7. Let it simmer away! I usually check in after about an hour to see how it’s going, and then come back every 20-30 minutes if they’re not ready yet. 2 hours is not an unusual time for it to take. This is also where luck of the draw/harder to control for variables factor in — if the beans were quite old when you bought them or just generally a recalcitrant lot, you may be here a while, I’m sorry to say. I had one cursed bag of chickpeas that simmered for like four hours plus and probably could have simmered for four more without losing the slightly gritty/undercooked texture (WITH baking powder in the water too!). There are times I feel I am boiling that pot of chickpeas still, like, spiritually. Sometimes we must resign ourselves to the inscrutable will of the legume gods and maybe use those chickpeas for things where the texture is going to be changed anyway (I’ve found baking chickpeas in the oven until they get crisp a real help there. Also this recipe combines cauliflower and chickpeas in ways I had never thought to try but absolutely slaps, would recommend if you end up in that situation). 

8. Once you like the consistency of the beans you’re testing, remove the pot from the heat and let cool (if you expose them to the air while they’re still hot, the skins will start to split and peel and they’ll crumble unpleasantly. Ask me how I know 😔). I’m experimenting with leaving the beans in the cooking water/broth in the fridge overnight after cooking to see if that adds something to the texture and softness, and it actually seems promising! But not a crucial step or anything  

And there you go, that’s my process so far! I make pretty big batches of beans and freeze them in portion sizes, and the broth makes for a really good soup base if you feel inclined to make some! As a special little treat for myself, I usually make this absolutely bangin’ recipe for gochujang beans for dinner whenever it’s bean cooking day. It’s super quick and easy to put together and unfairly delicious. The overpowering scent of rosemary and thyme may test your faith at first but just let it simmer for a while so the tastes get to combine and your courage will be so rewarded. I’ve found so many good bean recipes on this blog btw, it’s well worth checking out for ideas of what to do with your beans once they're done.

If anyone should possess the deeper secret bean wisdoms and want to add them here, please please share them! Dried legumes were not a household staple in the kitchen that raised me, so I’ve had to stumble through the dark and test things and embarrass myself a lot along the way before I reached this point of barebones competency, anyone who like actually knows what they’re doing is SO welcome to chime in haha

life is very hard. but today I bought a big bag of dried butter beans. so tomorrow I will have butter beans. there may still be hope