#this was actaully good for my nerves

[jeongharine]

syntax ERROR: the right formula

⚝ wonwoo x reader

⚝ comedy, smut

⚝ notes: you and wonwoo decide to take the thing between you on level two. but no one has to know about it. you would rather die than to have someone figure out about your sexual escapades with the local nerdy fuckboy. it is an ego thing. (part i)

(thanks to everyone who read and liked part one, i’ve never received such an amount of likes for something that i posted <3 i hope you will like this part as well, it is a bit longer but i had a little fun in writing some teasing ooof enjoy it, have a good early summer period and stay safe x)

“can you actually believe that, y/n? he ghosted me for i don’t know three weeks, and then he had the nerve to ask for a tit pic,” nabi sighs, taking a sip from her blue-ish drink.

“you know what? i’m so done with men. all of them. we really ar- are you even listening to me?” 

you are caught off guard by the clicking of her fingers in front of your eyes. truth is, you are only half present, the other half of you is scanning the whole floor, trying to see if there’s a certain someone amongst the agglomeration of bodies. 

“yeah, sure, sorry,” you apologize, leaning your side against the wall. “i was somewhere else for a second. you were saying that he ghosted you?”

“i’m never talking to him again. or any man.” “hm,” you hum, crossing your arms. you actaully don’t know who she is trying to convince at this point, because that must’ve been the fifth time you heard your friend giving you that speech (during that semester alone). 

“really, i don’t know why those guys haven’t been thrown out of the campus yet. they’re a hazard, including your brother from what i’ve heard. sorry. but yeah, they’re a threat to public health,”

you shrug, because honestly you don’t care that much about their business. and that is important to keep it low.

“could be worse, though, i could be one of the poor girls getting fucked by one of them in their spare time,” 

oh. 

you giggle, a little nervous. “yeah, yeah,” you agree, looking back at the mass of students. “yeah, that’d be totally awful.” 

“i couldn’t even count on my fingers the amount of girls that had one night stands with one of them, and somehow proceeded in becoming completely whipped and infatuated, only to be told that they don’t ‘fuck the same person twice’. like… what the fuck is that? who do they think they are? sorry that your brother is involved in this discourse, but he’s kind of a prick,”  

you laugh, noticing the tinge of red that covers her cheeks. “you sound really drunk,” 

“i’m not bullshitting you. they’re pricks and that’s on period,” 

she raises her cup in a silent cheer, and took another sip. “i know you’re not involved in the fuckboy thing that plagues this campus and, honestly, you’re better off that way. but trust me when i say that they aren’t worth the headache,” 

with an inattentive nod, you take another peek at the strangers filling the space near you. “i believe you, don’t worry. i know my thing or two,” 

the worst part? you do. 

and the even worse bit? there are two things wrong with what she has just told you. 

number one: yes, they could be kind of jerks sometimes. but they aren’t completely soulless, at least some of them. they are fun to be around, actually, when picked alone and not in group, or when they are not trying to impress someone into sleeping with them.

number two: they fuck the same person twice, if feeling like it. at least wonwoo. and you know that because you’ve been fucking him on and off for the past five months or so. 

when you first met him, you weren’t exactly after a “secret friends with benefits” relationship. you just needed a math tutor. but long story short, you didn’t expect to fall victim to his charms, melting under his tender kisses, moaning his name as he rolled his hips against you, edging your orgasm for longer than you can hold it. and you surely didn’t expect to like it as much as you do. 

truth is: jeon wonwoo is everything, but he isn’t dumb. he knows that he is attractive and smart as hell - he knows that with his voice so silky and deep just saying the right words is enough to have you in bed with him, and he knows how to use the two things very well. 

apart from also corrupting you in games hours.

also, you are human, alright? and there is something extremely tempting about sleeping with your brother best friend, especially when he keeps coming back to you. it’s only nature to want to feel special every once in a while. 

again: it is an ego thing. 

plus no one ever caught you. not nabi or any of your other friends. as far as you are aware, wonwoo’s group doesn’t know a thing either, which makes you appreciate him even more because you don’t know how hoshi could take this.  

so yeah, he isn’t a total douchebag. he has the most basic sense of loyalty. 

x

with a sigh, you push your body away from the wall, fumbling with your purse. you are praying that- oh there he fucking is. 

the moment that you see wonwoo, sitting on the couch across from you, you forget how to breathe for a moment. 

he looks better than you had anticipated: dressed in all black, with his thighs spread across the seat, ready to be fucked right then and there. his dark long hair is parted in the middle, with a few stubborn strands falling over his angelic features, as his gaze navigates around the room, staring at nothing in particular.

next to him, there is another one of his friends, seokmin, talking about something animatedly but wonwoo is paying no attention. 

his expression is one of irritation, you notice, with his thick eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenching. but when his gaze falls on you, however, wonwoo’s perceived annoyance instantly dissipates. 

you watch as his eyes meet your own, then he trails down your body with desire, stopping around the level of your thighs for a bit longer than you have predicted. 

you know that stare awfully well: it is the same one that he gives you when he sees you around campus, or in the pc-bang when you’re winning or when you actually understand the concepts that he’s teaching you. the silent provocation that tells you, and only you, that he really wants to have some alone time right now. 

a tricky smirk sprouts at the corner of his lips, and he leans back against the couch. you follow his movements as he reaches towards his pocket and extracts his phone, staring at you as he does so. he unlocks it, taking a final glance at your expectant features before he starts to type something.

[00:23] wonu: so glad to see that you came  

[00:23] wonu: will you do me a favour and meet me in the bathroom upstairs? second door to the right ;) 

and what can you do when he’s asking it like this? you take the stairs and you wonder, as you open your way through the crowd of sweaty bodies and spilling drinks, if you aren’t trying too hard to rationalize and catastrophize something that is actually very simple. 

a story with a beginning, a middle part, and a satisfying ending: you two want to fuck each other, you do, then you move right forward. no hidden feelings, no strings attached. that’s it. couldn’t get any better than that. 

but maybe, it isn’t everything about that, and you know it. it is also about overhearing the other girls talking as you make your way upstairs, complaining about how ridiculously hot and pretty he is. it is about having that steamy, trembling secret between the two of you. it is about knowing that yeah, wonwoo is crazy hot and smart and funny and you can have that whenever you want.

x

just like the calm before the storm, there is a moment of quietness and stillness between the instant of when you lock the door, and the one when you see him. 

as you turn around, dwelling in his proximity, you think about a million things at the same time: about teasing him for his location choice, or maybe about how he must’ve been going through a drought, if he has to count on his covert booty call to get laid at a party. 

before you can say anything, wonwoo’s lips are on yours, attacking your mouth in a fervorous kiss. you whimper in surprise as he pushes you against the closed bathroom door, his hands circling your waist as he squeezes your body against his. your purse falls on the ground with a muffled sound, but you barely even notice it. 

it is something else, really. tonight, he’s kissing you as if he physically can’t contain himself long enough to do anything else - as if all that he can think of doing is to feel the heavenly contact of your mouth against his, while your fingers pull strands of his hair.

as he invites his tongue inside your mouth, wonwoo groanes and lowers his hands, squeezing your ass like he is about to lose every last ounce of sanity he has left in him. you sigh as he moves his focus onto your neck, placing open-mouthed kisses. 

“someone’s excited,” you comment, slightly breathless. the only response you get is another groan, and the rolling of his hips against your inner thigh where you can feel his dick, already semi-hard, pressing. 

“couldn’t even bother to take me somewhere else,” 

“i just needed to have you now. have you seen how hot you are?” his voice comes out muffled against your skin, the reverberations of his timbre propagating directly towards your core. 

“i see you’re starting to get more adventurous with this,” you bite down on your lower lip and he sucks your flesh, groping your ass once again. “parties and nights out used to be so off limits to you.” 

wonwoo chuckles against your neck, moving back towards your mouth. he starts making out with you again, his breath hot and heavy against your face, and you start to think how you could very well pass out seen the level of craving building inside of you. 

“i changed my mind.” he speaks as he leans back. 

you smirk at his attitude. “we’ll end up getting caught,” 

“aw, baby,” he pouts, looking at you with artificial pity. “are you afraid your brother is going to find out?”

okay, he can be kind of a prick sometimes. 

“so i can leave, then?” you raise one eyebrow, fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck. 

“you can, the door is right behind you. you know i’m not one to insist,” wonwoo tells you, quickly losing interest in this part of the conversation. “but something tells me you won’t.” 

you don’t even try to respond, because there is nothing to be said: both of you know what you are doing there, and the idea of walking out is just too ridiculous to consider. 

with a suspire, you watch as wonwoo moves his lips down your chest, stopping at the fabric of your blouse. 

“what if someone hears us?” you suddenly remember, heartbeat quickening at the thought. 

“what is it?” he asks as his fingers work on your buttons, exposing more of your chest. the slow pace of his is going to kill you one of these days. 

“you’re worried that people are going to find out about this? about us? when you’re always begging to be fucked in the room next to your brother’s one or when there’s someone at my dorm?” 

you open your mouth to respond but his chuckle, so deep and melodious, catches you off guard. 

“how scandalous, right? you are not the pure little thing you make yourself to be,” wonwoo continues, finally opening your blouse and fully exposing your bra to him. he hums with delight. “red lace? you really want to tease me,” 

you swallow dry as he takes the blouse off your shoulders and gently places it beside the sink, above a towel. he can be so thoughtful and gentle. 

“wonu, i-�� “you’re such a little brat sometimes, you know that?” he interrupts, eyes following his own movements as his hands circle your body, moving to unclasp your bra. and of course he gets it right on the first try. 

“you came all the way up here just to get fucked, and now you’re worried that people are going to know about it,” you stare him down, a smirk already creeping up in the corner of your lips. 

“how does that make me a brat?” 

he smiles. “don’t try to to play the naive card on me,” another agile movement of his fingers and your bra joins your blouse besides the sink. 

wonwoo sighs deeply at your exposed breasts, trying to imprint that sight into the back of his mind. “pretending as if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing. you can drop the act now, y/n,” “i don’t-“ his mouth attacking you is all that you needed to shut up and let him do what he wants really.

overwhelmed by the sensation, you let out a gasp as his hand squeezes you, playing with you as he moans against your skin. 

“i love it so much,” he hums, moaning at the marvelous sensation of your warm skin against his tongue. you were almost forgetting how much wonwoo aches to play with your tits - not that you are complaining. 

“and i love that it’s all for me,” he breathes out before placing kisses again.

you whimper at the contact, arching your back in a failed attempt to get closer to him. as much as you know he is most likely to just say whatever he thinks would turn you on, wonwoo’s words expand inside your chest, building a heat that seems to suffocate you. even if you know it is bullshit, maybe not all of it, you like to be called his. ego strokes and all of that. 

“wonu…” there is only a thin wooden door separating you two from the outside world, and at the moment you can’t care less if they hear you calling out his name. the guy really does wonders to your anxiety. 

but he also likes to tease you. 

he moves away from your breasts and you almost, almost, cry out in frustration. but wonwoo starts to trace kisses back to your neck, then to your jawline. and you feel like you’re going crazy with all that back and forth.

“i’m not gonna lie, i understand where you’re coming from,” he says. “i like to keep this as a secret too. it’s so hot.” 

you almost forget how to inhale when he aligns his face with yours, placing a peck on your swollen lips. “yeah?” you ask, sounding as if you are in a daydream. 

“yeah,” he agrees, breathless. 

even if wonwoo tries his best to look as if he’s under total control, you know that he can’t keep that front for too long. he is clearly turned on, and the hardness pressing against your thigh is all of the proof that you need. he

even if wonwoo tries his best to look as if he’s under total control, you know that he can’t keep that front for too long. he is clearly turned on, and the hardness pressing against your thigh is all of the proof that you need. he’s close to get too worked up.

“it’s so great to know that i have one of the sexiest nerdy girls on campus just for myself…” his hand trails up your thighs, adventuring in the lands beneath your skirt. “and no one knows.”

you bite your lower lip, anticipating the contact of his hand against your core. “what’s so tempting about it?” you ask. 

he smiles. “ah… many things,”

your stare doesn’t vacillate. “i’d like an example,” 

instead of answering you straight away, wonwoo decides to take his sweet time. he leans his head to the side and kisses you feverishly, growing satisfied with the the small whimpers and breaths that echoes in between your mouths. his hands are all over you: on your ass, your waist, down your thighs and up your hips, where his eyes can not see. you only have your skirt and your panties on, and it is so frustrating to still feel him fully dressed against you. 

at last, he pulls away, placing his forehead against yours. as he speaks, you feel the tingle of his hands as they move towards the hem of your panties. 

“i like seeing you walk around campus, knowing that you’re sore from the night before,” he speaks slowly, his voice in a low vibration against your mouth. “and i know you don’t tell any of your friends about it. about how i fucked you so good that you almost cried,” 

you hum, closing your eyes. “what else?”

much to your dismay, his hands leave your underwear again, coming out to pull you closer. “when you send me those audios late at night,” he’s breathing out hard then, drowning in those lewd memories. “crying out my name… ” he stops and takes a big breath. “how am i supposed to say no to that? so there i go, out the door, telling your brother that i’m going to the library to study, instead of saying that i’m going to see his crazy hot sister and that i’m going to fuck her…” he hesitates. “and i just get this… adrenaline rush because he and my other friends don’t know it’s you.” 

“and how do you know that i like any of it?” you tease. 

wonwoo snickers at your question. both of you know that it is plastered all over your face, but he can keep up with that little teasing if you want to. 

“two reasons,” he says. “first: you do the same to me, or don’t you?” 

“i don’t recall,” you respond, forging innocence. okay, maybe you do like to play the naive part. 

“oh no? what a terrible memory you have, i see why you do badly in exams when you don’t study with me. now, let me remind you,” he places a strand of your hair behind your ear, his words hitting your skin in heated, libidinous waves. wonwoo is so close that you can count his eyelashes if you want to, his torso squeezed so tight against yours that you wonder how you even manage to breathe in this position. 

“it was just last week, babe. you called me to your flat after your roommate had left,” one of his hands goes back to play with the hem of your underwear, fingertips feeling like sparks against your skin. 

“you got so horny with just the thought of having me, isn’t that right?” much to your surprise, your voice comes out a lot more steady than you have expected. “don’t flatter yourself, you don’t know that.”

wonwoo laughs, placing his warm, swollen lips against the skin of your neck. “i don’t,” he agrees, digits pressing against your clothed area. 

you know he feels how wet your panties have become, so there’s no reason to keep that up. regardless, you kind of like it. 

“but i do remember how much you wanted me that night. how many times did i fuck you that night? and you just had to keep quiet, because your neighbours could have been catching something. that was so cute,” 

you sigh, your insides in knots over the tension you are sustaining. you hate him sometimes. hate how good he is. “i wasn’t counting.” 

“i know,” he swiftly pulls the fabric of your underwear to the side. 

“and this right here, this is the second reason. look at this,” his digits move, teasing you and you have to suppress a moan. “you’re always ready. i love that. you’re so good to me.” 

god, you are so close to lose it.

“so quiet all of a sudden,” his nose delicately trails up your neck, his mouth meeting the angle of your jaw in open kisses. in an attempt to ground yourself, your hands fly to his shoulders, nails digging through his t-shirt. you can still feel wonwoo’s fingers playing. you hate him. or not. you don’t know. 

“i know i leave you speechless, sometimes, but i wan to hear you too,” 

strong and steady, his other hand meets the curvature of your waist, pressing your body against his.

“nothing? y/n, you’re especially irresistible tonight,” his eyes are somewhat dazed, unfocused and hooded. he appears as if he’s two seconds away from fucking you raw against the wall, and you seriously wouldn’t mind at this point. 

“you know why i called you here?” “because you want to fuck me,” you respond without missing a beat. 

“i do, of course,” he places his forehead against yours, and you whimper. 

“and the best part is that no one will even know it,” he continues. against your best judgement, your knees are getting weaker by the minute, the knot in your abdomen about to untie.

“just you and i. just the two of us will know how much you begged.” 

“wonu,” you call out, hands tangling themselves in the roots of his silky hair. you whisper out his name again, your voice coming out in such a promiscuous tone. 

god, wonwoo loves hearing the effect he has on you. 

x

maybe jeon wonwoo does also have a golden dick. 

above you, he smirks at the sensation of your mouth around his thumb, his other hand coming to place small caresses on your hair. after he removes his thumb from your mouth, you get back to your feet. it swiftly crosses your mind that your legs might give out eventually but, thankfully, they seem a bit more firm than what you have anticipated. 

“better?” you ask. 

“perfect.” wonwoo kisses you, sighing against your mouth. he pulls away gradually, his body still moving a bit slow.

“you always are.” 

“aw, how nice of you,” you smile at his compliment, walking towards your pile of clothes. “always with the compliments.” 

he hums in agreement, watching your naked body - your fingers holding that red bra he adores so much. “do we have any lesson programmed this week?” 

an incredulous laugh ruptures your lips as you clasp your bra behind your back. 

“we just had sex, and you’re already thinking about studying time?” 

he shruggs. “i like to have a schedule,” 

“i don’t actually remember, but we can game at mine wednesday,” your skirt moves up your legs, all the way up to your waistline. from the corner of your eyes, you can see wonwoo fumbling with his own jeans, which he now curses for being inside out. 

“can you pass me some toilet paper?” you ask him, eager to clean the mess between your legs. there’s no way you are going to put your panties back on, even if the thought of going commando isn’t exactly the most welcoming either. 

wonwoo is sitting on the toilet lid, putting his jeans back, and simply nods in agreement before doing so. “i’d like to know, though,” he insists.

you smile, taking a cheeky glance at him. “oh, so you are needy. since when you’re so needy?” 

he groans. “i’m not needy, shut up.” the sound of his zipper closing echoes inside the cubicle. 

“well, you can have this as a memory, if you’d like.” 

you throw your red panties at him, watching as his face grows interested at the piece of cloth in his hands. wonwoo sighs, tugging his t-shirt back inside his pants. 

“you’re killing me,” he complains. “good.” you smile, turning back at him. “how do i look? presentable?” 

he examins you for an instant, taking in the details of your form. “it doesn’t look like you just got fucked, if that’s what you’re asking,” 

“great!” you swirl around, “have a nice night, wonu. and don’t get too excited with the panties,” 

wonwoo gets up and walks closer to you, your underwear safely guarded in his hands. you are positive he’s going to have fun with it later. “you’re going home already?” he asks. 

“yeah, you did a good job at making me tired,” the clicking of the lock is a pleasant reminder that no one tried to open the door during your alone time.

wonwoo chuckles, leaning closer to you and he places a kiss on your forehead. 

“good night, then. thanks for the panties,” you laugh. “you’re welcome.” 

x

the building is glowing in the most diverse colours from the outside, and the sound of the music is like a distant pulse.

you watch, heart clenching inside of your chest, as wonwoo steps out of the front door with hoshi and seokmin - his head hanging low and a smile at the corner of his lips. 

there is a volume in his front pocket, where you are sure he has tugged in your panties.

“i think that we should go home and sleep. but let’s keep this conversation on hold,” wonwoo cuts off the conversation. seokim, however, isn’t satisfied. 

“you know that i’ll find out eventually,” he says, trying not to trip while walking. 

“i always do. and hoshi knows it well.” 

hoshi laughs, meeting wonwoo’s eyes. on the other side of the street, you and nabi take the opposite direction, having wonwoo to turn his head quickly at you. 

“wonu-yah, i think you should give those lacy panties hanging off your pocket back to my sister tomorrow,”

“what-” “oh fuck!” a tomato red face wonwoo grabs them, while seokim trips and nearly cries out loud in the middle of the street.

[targs-on-zorses]

Sweet Favours - EXCERPT

Pairing - Gwayne Hightower/Lady-in-Waiting!Reader

Warnings - 18+ Nice, hot smut, a little bit of fluff, tourneys and jousting, a little bit of blood

Summary - “If I might request a favour, my lady.” “Hmm, and what sort of favour would that be, good knight.” “Mayhaps, a sweet kiss from those lovely lips, dear lady.”

WARNINGS FOR THIS EXCERPT: Not actaully from the smutty bit, but I guess one could it is still slightly spicy. Just not outright smut. Any way, here we go:

A handsome young knight stood at the entrance. You smiled, admiring his pleasant features, the warm blue eyes, the bow shaped lips, soft golden hair.

“Good morrow, cousin,” Lady Hightower greeted.

“Good morrow, my Lady,” the knight responded. “Perfect day for a joust, is it not?”

“It is,” Lady Lynesse concurred. “I wish you luck, good cousin, at the lists.”

“Thank you, my Lady.”

Ser Gwayne bowed, stepping aside to let the lady pass. 

As you passed him yourself, curtseying briefly, he put out a hand to stop you.

“A moment, Lady Mullendore.”

You followed him inside, cloistered in a hidden alcove right by the doors. 

“If I might request a favour, my lady.” He had that grin on his face that suggested his thoughts were anything but innocent. Not that the way he said ‘my lady’ had you thinking innocent thoughts either, as you clenched your thighs together at his words.

“Hmm, and what sort of favour would that be, good knight,” you said, smiling sweetly. 

“Mayhaps, a sweet kiss from those lovely lips, dear lady.”

“Oh, you are most bold, good ser,” you giggled, feeling your cheeks redden at his words. And that little smirk that he always seemed to have plastered on his face. Seven save you, you loved that smirk.

A small group of people squeezed past the opening you were concealed in. So you stretched up, and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. Then you turned away to rejoin your lady.

A hand grasped your arm, pulling you back into the shadows.

“Gwayne!” you chastised. “I must return to my-”

His hand snaked around your waist, tugging you up against his body. A single finger lifted your chin, angling your face towards his, and he stared hungrily at your lips. He bit his lip, moving his hand to grasp your chin, running a thumb over your parted lips.

“Not that sort of kiss,” he whispered, seductively.

Then his lips were on yours. This was no gentle kiss, like the ones exchanged so early in the mornings. Sweet it was not. He pulled your face to his, pushing his tongue into your mouth. His hand tightened at your waist. 

Your hands stretched up, tangling themselves in his soft, golden hair. Your heart pounded in time to the movements of his tongue. He tasted of the sweet wine he liked, probably drinking small amounts to calm his nerves before the joust. 

He pushed forwards, backing you into a wall, completely devouring your mouth., pressing the evidence of his own arousal into your thigh. A moan escaped you. Seven save you, this kiss…

He pulled away abruptly, swiping his thumb over your lips again before departing with a satisfied smirk on his face.

He vanished so quickly, it took a moment for your body and mind to catch up. You raised a hand to your lips, remembering the passionate way he claimed them. 

Voices sounded just outside, and you remembered where you were.

[flannelandsarcasm]

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on: writing, art, gifsets, whatever.

I was tagged by @aesterea (bless)  I’m tagging  @yourgoodfriendraichel and @moonywaitup and @easkyrah (if you don’t mind hnnn)

Wages Of Sin: The prequel to the book I wrote last november, Personal Demons (which my friends wont let me touch until they finish editing and it’s killing me, but I’ve been told is good for me :/ ). It focuses on Amara Claire (a pawn of heaven who doesn’t really belong there, but doesn’t belong on earth or hell either, so like, what’s a girl to do?? Become a murderer for hire, apparently), Basilius (a fallen angel who just wants to get back to his bf, and tries to save the world one small act at a time, and also, was cast out unjustly, and will one day be Famine ayyy), and eventually also Angela Paloma(a woman who didn’t know she was a witch and had a nasty shock when her magic kicked in, and will one day be War ayyy.) They’re all tied together because of the hybrid brothers (Half angel, half demon, all kinds of angst) working in the background, trying to start the apocalypse (like ya do) and pulling these characters, and the main squad of Personal Demons, together. I don’t have a laid out plot so everything is a bit messy as I bounce around, but things’ll fall into place eventually.

Faeries And Antichrists Don’t Mix: (i don't have a title) Okay so Luci had more than one kid. Four that we know of. Two are a set of twins, born from an angel who is very bitter (you should have know better, you were the angel of conception for chrissake)  Faolán is a nonbinary friend-o who uses masculine pronouns, and is a very quiet, impulsive person. His brother Eirian is a loud anxious child. Usually their plans go something like Eirian loudly worrying, only to turn around and have  Faolán sheepishly go “i already did the stupid thing whoops”. Anyway, their mom locked them away b/c antichrists can’t die but letting them go would be Bad(tm), so they get tired of this and they try to escape after 100 years, Eirian is beheaded, and  Faolán is stabbed, and his uncle hands him off to the Fae to get rid of him, so he wakes up in Faerie. He eats the wrong stuff and is cursed to live in Faerie forever. Only, he needs to find his brother, so he can reattach the head, so Eirian can fucntion better. No one knows Eirian is already in Faerie, so no one can find him on earth. Or heaven. Or hell. It’s a big mess. Lots of anxious children. Fun times. Lots of running around in Faerie, dealing with cranky immortals. 

Incandescence: (or maybe Incandescent idk) okay so this one is a sequel to Lights Out (which is for sale on amazon shhh), in which there’s gods who aren’t gods but like to call themselves that b/c they were tasked to be guardians of the balance and the humans can’t tell the difference anyway. There’s only like, three left now, out of the original seven, and they’re freaking out, even tho humanity has mostly died off, so Logan, god of thought and memory, has the brilliant idea “ima make more”. Gods can’t procreate with humans without disastrous effects (they tried) and won’t with each other, as they see each other as siblings and are uncomfy with incest, so he decides to make more by turning humans instead. The other gods freak out and the rest is basically “Logan NO” “LOGAN YES” “DAMMIT LOOK AT THE MESS YOU MADE” “ooops”. Also, long lost brothers.

Dragonmarked: Whee this one got big. So in this fantasy universe, dragons are a thing. Dragons are also in charge, at least on this continent. Elves get another b/c the fighting got so bad. Smh. Dragons can take human form after a special ceremony, which also allows them to forge a bond with humans. The human bond helps them focus and channel their magic, since Dragons have raw magic and it’s kinda hard to control. They mark these humans in a dream and it carries over to the real world, and each dragon has a distinct mark, so they can find them. So my buddy-ol-pal-friendo, Nathaniel (name subject to change) does the thing, marks his dragonmarked, and she, having had her family killed by dragons and is only a terrified five-year-old, runs. Thus begins a fifteen year chase across the continenent, all the while, Aryleigh (the girl) is learning to defend herself desperately. About ten years after being marked the first time (he marks her again more than once) her best friend dies b/c of another dragon, and so she decides the only logical thing to do is to track down that dragon and murder him. She doesn’t care if she kills other dragons along the way, and becomes rather well known. Luck runs out and her dragon finds her, and she gets sucked into dragon politics, which are surprisingly complex, and bam, along the way, she finds out she isn’t as human as she’d thought. Whoops. Happens when u have no idea about your family line I guess??

That One Untitled Thing: okay so two gay werewolves livin alone in the woods get stumbled upon by two lesbian witches and the Responsible One, Elijah, patches up the wounded witch, and the Reckless One, Hawkins, asks for their story, and it turns out the witches are on a Quest To Save The World (and Magic) and Hawkins decides they should go too because he likes doing stuff, and Elijah tags along because he’s a healer, and everyone is GAY (this project is very new, only started working on it like, three days ago wheeeee)

Downward Spirals: Hades is desperate, reincarnates Icarus as a human guy named Theo, the Fates are mad and want him dead again, and when Icarus/Theo tries to speak to the gods, he finds them very bitter/jaded/angry about the world and very murder-y. He looks to Hades like “wtf bro” and Hades reiterates “I’m desperate”. This one is very under developed as well. Wheeeeeeeee.

The God-Vampire Thing: Okay so I only have a premise for this, no plot, but basically, vampires feed off the gods, not humans. They kidnapped the moon god, moon-god’s sibling the sun god is mad, which is why they can’t live in sunlight anymore. Also, lesbians. 

I’m gonna reblog this to my writing blog too tbh wheeee

[nyxicnymph]

Uhhh okay you know i dont know much about genshin but but... classic fanfic trope of cafe au for xiaother maybe? i dunno i like cafe/coffee shop aus they're cute-

lkgfkjkjfjksfdjk yes a cafe au mwah mwah!

Liyue Lattes:

Xiao masked his irritation with, well, a mask. Despite mask restrictions lifting, he still chose to wear his, especially while working. No one on staff had given him flak for it, though he didn't know if that was because they were scared of him, or of Zhongli.

No matter. He had a job to do now.

He unlocked the door to the shop, and settled in behind the register, where he was assigned for now. He hated the customer service part of it, which was exactly why Zhongli assigned him there so much.

Zhongli could be a pain sometimes.

Almost as soon as he'd turned around to face the door, there was someone entering. His eyes widened, but he forced his breath not to hitch.

Golden eyes and golden hair, both glinting in the early morning sun. The stranger's hair fell in a braid down his back, and he wore a cropped shirt, mid waist baggy pants, and a dark jacket. Xiao breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth.

Just a customer. Just a customer, just a customer, just a-

"Hi!"

Xiao was so fucked.

He cleared his throat and tugged his mask higher. "Hello, welcome to Liyue Lattes. What will your order be for today?" He recited the spiel from memory and routine, his eyes desperately trying to stay glued to this stranger's face.

The stranger screwed up his face as he looked up at the board. "Do you have anything that's good for all day energy? I have my first dance class tonight but I don't want to get something right before then, and I-" He caught a glimpse of Xiao's face. "I'm rambling, sorry!"

Xiao coughed gently. "No, no, it's fine. Just... You're a dancer?"

He nodded exuberantly. "Mostly self-trained, but I was recommended to a nearby dance school, and... And the first day nerves are getting to me," he trailed nervously.

"I know the feeling. I dance, too. And, well, there's only one dance school in the area, so..." Xiao felt his ears burning. "Anyway! I'm told that this-" he tapped on the menu on the counter, "-is the best drink for long term energy."

"Okay, then I'll order that!"

Xiao nodded, glad they moved on to the normal customer service stuff. "What name should I use for you?"

The stranger was quiet for a minute, before quietly saying, "Xiao."

"That's my name, you can't have it yet," Xiao deadpanned.

The stranger panicked. "No, no, I was reading it off your tag! I didn't- I- My name is Aether!" He was a blushing mess as he handed over his debit card. As he took it back from Xiao, he paused again. "Did you say 'yet'?"

It was Xiao's turn to be a flustered mess. "I will be right back with your drink!" he announced loudly before dashing to the back.

"It's my job to make the drinks today," Ganyu whispered to him as soon as he'd stepped in the back.

"Not anymore," Xiao grumbled, making Aether's drink on double speed mode.

Hu Tao peeked around the corner. "Did you embarrass yourself in front of someone cute? I've been there, it'll go away eventually."

Xiao felt his ears burn. "No gossiping!" He said as he returned to the front with the warm drink. He gently cleared his throat, and called out, "Aether?"

Technically, this was pointless, as he was the only person in the shop at the moment, but Xiao was a stickler for protocol.

Actaully, maybe he just wanted to say Aether's name.

Regardless, Aether stood up, and once again, Xiao had to force himself to not lose his breath as he walked up, looking like the personification of the very sun. He handed over the cup.

"Have a nice day," he said, another phrase learned by rote, but for once... he says it with sincerity.

"You, too! And maybe we'll see each other at the dance school later!"

Xiao felt his ears burning again. "Yeah, maybe," he said cautiously. "We'll see."

Aether left the shop with a grin and a wave, and Xiao released a huge sigh. He pulled his mask down for half a moment to air his very warm cheeks, and that's when something on the counter caught his eye.

One of the shop napkins had made it's way to the counter. Xiao picked it up to throw it away, but a few scribbles on the flip side stopped him. He gave the napkin a closer look.

A small chibi figure was holding a sign that read, "Text me?" followed by a series of numbers.

Xiao choked on nothing, and buried his face in his hands.

He was a goner.

Ganyu took over the counter for the rest of the shift after that.

[plant-flwrs]

a secret santa proposal // george weasley

masterlist!

a/n: i think this and one more with neville are my last christmas fics! just winter themed ones after that! i actaully love this fic so much, i’ve always been so intrigued by the next generation of weasley kids and this is the first fic i’ve gotten to include them in (plus teddy lupin because i couldn’t help myself). as always, thank you so much for reading <33

(implied female reader)

summary: George gets you the perfect secret Santa gift

(2.6k)

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George had gone to Diagon Alley nearly every day this week. His feet hurt when he got home from walking all day, and at some point, he even got some windburn on his lips.

You and George were due at the burrow on Friday for a Christmas dinner. A Christmas dinner that would end with secret Santa gift exchanges.

You had picked Ginny, deciding to get her a lovely scarf and matching cardigan almost right after finding out you got her. George, however, was having a little more difficulty.

George wanted this year’s gift to be perfect. He felt even more pressure knowing you’d be opening his gift in front of his entire family, rather than in the privacy of the flat you shared.

“Honey, come back to bed,” you groaned when you felt his weight shift off the bed, patting your hand on his now empty side of the bed.

“I can’t, shops open soon,” he grumbled, shuffling into the bathroom at the ungodly hour it was.

He had been refusing to tell you who he got, insisting that the secret part was the most fun of it all. You rolled your eyes but indulged his secrecy. This, however, was getting too much. You wanted a lay-in with your boyfriend, for god’s sake.

George walked against the wind- scarf pulled over his lips after learning his lesson- as he neared the shop he had been looking for. 

It was a muggle jewelry shop. 

The idea had come to him the second he picked your name, but something in him was making him second guess himself. You had been dating for four years, you were serious adults, and he loved you more than anything in his life. Still, he had doubts.

What if you thought Christmas engagements were cheesy? What if you thought he was going too fast? What if you walked out and left him at his family home on his knee?

George paced in front of the shop, glancing at the door and reaching out to open it every once and a while only to retract his hand. Eventually, he worked up the nerve and opened the door. If he was this nervous to even enter the shop, how would he choose a ring? How the hell would he manage to propose? 

Once inside, he took off his beanie and shook his hair out, glancing around the store. It was warm and quiet, filled with dazzling amounts of jewelry. 

All the hesitation he had felt left him at once, and he knew he had to do this. He knew this was right, and he knew fairly quickly which ring he was going to get you. He left, walking along the street and back to the Three Broomsticks. He entered Diagon Alley, determined to now find a decent fake gift. 

On Friday night, you closed the tin for some cookies you had been baking all day, wrapping the tin in a deep red bow. You tucked it under your arm, lifting the gift bag with yours and George’s secret Santa gifts. George was waiting for you in the living room, dressed in a handsome sweater and brown corduroy pants, smiling widely at you. 

George had been frighteningly happy recently, though you supposed he was just in the Christmas spirit.

You apparated to the Weasley house, just outside the front door. You raised your hand to knock, but George was already slamming it open with the full force of his shoulder. You followed him inside, glancing apologetically at Molly as she rushed over to hug you both. 

“Finally!” she released George and moved onto you, hugging you with a strong grip, “My babies are all home!”

You noticed everyone else had already arrived, gathered around the ground floor of the house. Teddy Lupin and Victoire stood in the kitchen with Fleur and Bill, laughing while Bill hid bits and pieces of food in his wife’s hair. Ron and Hermione sat on the couch with Rose bundled in Hermione’s arms, Ron waving his fingers in her face with a dazed look on his own. Harry bounced James on his knee as he sat at the table next to Ginny, who cradled Albus in her hands as she and Harry listened to Arthur talk about his new muggle discoveries. Percy was standing behind his mother, holding his daughter’s hand as she swayed on her feet, just learning to walk.

Molly held your arms, looking down at what you had brought.

“Did you make these, dear?” she took the tin from your hands, smiling wider when you nodded and brought them to the kitchen. 

George took the gift bag from you and moved it to the tree, making his greetings at everyone he passed.

You went to the kitchen, catching Bill’s eye and smiling back at him.

“Y/n!” he called, spreading his arms out to you and pulled you into him. You hugged Fleur, picking the food from her hair as she scolded Bill jokingly. 

“Hey Teddy,” you said, placing a hand on the top of his head, “you’ve gotten so tall!”

It was true, the young boy had already shot up like a bean-post, the top of his head stopping at your waist. His bright blue hair stood out even more the higher it got. He looked strikingly like his parents, you thought, with a sad smile.

“Hullo,” he said joyously, leaning into your side and giving you a hug.

“Hiya, Aunt Y/n,” Victoire called from beside Teddy, though a good size smaller, and coming to your other side to clutch at your legs as she hugged you.

“What’re you guys making?” you asked them, looking at the food scattered across the counter Victoire could barely see over. You lifted her up, balancing her on your hip and still keeping a hand on Teddy’s head.

“No idea,” Bill joked from beside you, now putting food in Victoire’s strawberry blonde hair, “having too much fun to care.”

You laughed, and Teddy looked up from your side at Victoire’s now food covered hair. Fleur reached over Bill to swat his hands away, cleaning her daughter’s hair.

“I brought those cookies you guys like,” Bill, Teddy, and Victoire’s eyes lit up, all of them looking around to find them.

“After dinner, you lot,” Molly said as she came into the kitchen, swatting the back of Bill’s head.

She came to your side, reaching for Victoire, and you gladly shifted her over. Teddy seemed consumed in whatever he was making, his brows furrowed in concentration. You left the kitchen, going to the kitchen table where Harry, Ginny, and Arthur still were, along with the children.

James’ face lit up once he saw you, and he held his arms out to you with grabbing hands. He nearly wiggled out of Harry’s grip, and Harry seemed all too happy to hand him over to you once you sat down next to Ginny.

“Hey, love,” she said, bending to kiss your cheek in greeting. You kissed hers, smiling widely at Harry and Arthur. You leaned down to kiss James’ cheek too, sending him into a fit of giggles that made Harry swoon from beside you.

“How are you, James?” you cooed at him, only to be answered with baby noises. You knew it wasn’t approved of, but you did have favorites. Teddy and James had a special place in your heart.

Arthur balanced his chin on his palm, gazing at his grandchildren.

“Happy Christmas,” he said, smiling at you and James.

“Happy Christmas,” you said back, now looking over at Albus who was sleeping in Ginny’s arms.

“Oi,” she said, leaning forward to look at her husband, “your turn, Potter.”

Harry chuckled, standing to retrieve Albus gently from his wife. 

“I’m gonna put him upstairs, let him get his rest,” Harry whispered, even though it made no difference compared to the noisy house around them.

Ginny nodded, looking happy to have empty arms for a second. James was still content in your arms, so you decided to stay for a moment, at least until Harry came back. James seemed to have other plans though, eventually making grabbing hands at his grandfather. Arthur seemed to have been waiting for this moment, immediately lighting up and reaching for James. You stood, obliging James’ wishes, and bent to talk to Ginny.

“I’ll be right back, gonna go say ‘hi’ to Ron and Hermione,” Ginny only hummed in response, busy watching her son sit on her father’s lap.

You walked into the living room, where Ron was now holding Rose. Hermione seemed to be sifting through a very full diaper bag, and you wouldn’t be surprised if it had an extending charm. 

“Hey, Y/n,” Ron said when he saw you, his tired face lifting in an energetic smile.

Your eyes moved to the spit-up on his shoulder, and you smiled back at him, amused at his joy.

“Hi, happy Christmas,” you said sitting next to Ron so you could look at Rose. 

“Oh,” Hermione looked up, holding a clean towel in her hands, “hello, dear, didn’t see you.” 

You smiled at her, leaning over Ron to squeeze her hand in somewhat of a greeting. You looked at Rose, fast asleep in Ron’s arms.

“Harry’s just put Albus to sleep upstairs, I’m sure you could put Rose up there, too, if you wanted,” you whispered, careful not to wake the baby.

“Did he?” Hermione said hopefully, then she cast a knowing look at Ron.

“Up I go,” he said with no hesitation, standing carefully from the couch.

Hermione slumped down, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, “This shit is hard.”

You both laughed, and eventually, Ginny and George joined you in the living room.

Ginny held a glass of what looked like an alcoholic drink, smirking at Hermione’s pained look. “Stopped breastfeeding the other day. Good to be back,” Ginny downed her drink, laughing more when Hermione groaned in what you assumed was jealousy.

George had settled into the couch next to you, wrapping his arm around you as he cradled a beer in his hand. You took it from him, stealing a sip and laughing at his groan that was similar to Hermione’s.

“Y/n!” three pairs of stomping feet sounded into the living room, matched with happy giggles. Teddy stood in front of you, James’ tiny hand clutched in his as he helped him stand and walk. Teddy was more dragging James than letting him walk on his own, but Ginny nor James seemed to mind. Victoire was not far behind, stumbling on her own feet as she crashed into your legs.

George picked her up, settling her on his lap and delving into a discussion about how pretty her dress was.

“I made this for you,” Teddy said, holding out a gingerbread cookie that was dripping in enormous amounts of frosting.

“Wow,” you said, carefully taking the cookie, “Teddy, this looks amazing.”

He smiled proudly, barely noticing James retracting his hand and crawling over to his mother. Teddy simply crawled into your lap, nearly too big to do so, and looked down at the cookie in your hands.

“Will you try it?” he said, smiling widely.

You looked down at the cookie, then at Teddy. It looked like a stomach ache waiting to happen, and you tried to think of an excuse not to eat it without hurting his feelings. Suddenly, however, George was leaning over and taking a large bite from the cookie. He then stole the rest of the cookie with his free hand, holding it up to your face. You playfully scolded him, then smiled sweetly at Teddy. George only made you take a small bite, holding out one of the legs with the littlest amount of frosting. You ate it, moaning in delight and nodding your head at Teddy. He swelled with pride, smiling smugly up at you.

You all sat in the living room like that until Molly called everyone to dinner. The table had been moved outside, per usual, and extended to fit everyone. Molly was a firm believer in not having a kid’s table, so the children who could walk rushed to their desired seats. Arthur and Percy sat at the heads of the table, and everyone scattered from there. You and George sat in the middle, and George had to rush to beat James from stealing his spot next to you. Teddy sat to your left, George to your right, and when you weren’t cutting Teddy’s food, George was jokingly pestering you to cut his. 

The dinner was as lively as always, and the cold air was barred away by a spell Arthur had done around the house. 

Soon, it was time for secret Santa. Molly magically cleared the table, something that made Teddy swoon beside you, and then magically transported all the gifts to the table. She levitated the first one from the bag, and the exchanges started from there. 

Fleur had been your secret Santa, and she got you a compilation of books you had mentioned wanting. You thanked her from across the table, showing Teddy and reading to him what he didn’t understand. You watched everyone else get their presents, going one at a time, and finally, with no presents left, Molly levitated your gift to Ginny from the bag.

Ginny smiled widely and immediately put on both the cardigan and the sweater, standing and coming to hug you from behind. 

Soon, a large box wrapped in white paper was levitated in front of you. You hadn’t been keeping track of who’s gifts were from who, even though you should have been, and unwrapped the box quickly. Inside was a lovely, blooming plant with bright flowers and a lovely ceramic pot. You lifted it carefully, hearing Molly gasp in delight when she saw it. Then, you heard a round of gasps and looked up from the plant, confused as to why everyone was so surprised by some flowers.

You quickly understood, though, that they had not gasped at the flowers.

Beside you, with his chair pushed away and on his knee, George propped open a small box. It held a gorgeous ring, and you felt your eyes water before you could even take a breath. You hadn’t let him get a word in, and you knew he had a whole speech planned, and collapsed out of your chair and into George’s arms.

He stumbled, nearly falling backward, but wrapped his arms around you. You pulled away, only enough to see the ring he cradled in between your chests, and let out a happy sob. George did too, and you looked up to see his cheeks were wet. You pressed your forehead to his, wiping his cheeks and laughing. You kissed him, hard, but barely managed to because you couldn’t stop smiling. 

He pulled away, carefully holding your hand in his shaking hands, and slid the ring onto your finger. You heard clapping around you, and you remembered the rest of your family there. Hermione and Molly had tears running down their faces, and all the children were bouncing in their seats with the energy, not entirely sure of what was happening. Ginny was by your side first, hugging you again, and then George. This broke the flood gates and soon everyone was wrapping either you or George in their arms.

You longed to touch George, but hugged everyone back, just the same, until finally, you could hug your fiancé. 

“Happy Christmas,” George said, his face buried in your neck as he hugged you tightly.

“Happy Christmas,” you replied, holding your arm out and looking at your ring from behind George’s back. “God, George, you have impeccable taste.”

He laughed, pulling apart from you and gazing down at you, “Don’t I know it.”

[xsugarysweetsx]

hi! i absolutely love your writing btw :) can you write a hinawa x reader where it’s their wedding day and invited company 8 (who have never really met or even heard of the lieutenants gf/fiancée) and like how they react. basically just wedding fluff for my under appreciated husband 😩. have a super good day/night

A/n: thank you for reading and enjoying my work ❤️

Please enjoy~🍰

*******************************************************

“Uh whose wedding is this again?“ Shinra asked as they walked into a lovely garden. Guests were buzzing in chatter and people were getting everything else into place. Just two days ago they had gotten an invitation to a wedding taking place.

They didn’t exactly know who was getting married but everything seemed legit. What they weren’t expecting was to see their lieutenant in a tux with a pink flower in the pocket. 

“You guys made it“ he said walking over to them 

“Lieutenant you were invited too? We haven’t seen you these past few days“ Maki asked her superior. Hinawa had given them a confused look and explained 

“No, this is my wedding,“ he explains to them “I didn’t tell you since you’d just ask questions and distract me from getting ready“

Company 8 was speechless. First off he was getting married??  Second off, to who??

“I don’t remember you being with anyone“ Obi pointed out 

“Yeah who’s the lucky girl Lieutenant?“ Vulcan asked nudging him with a smirk 

“Did you save her from an evil creature and now you’ll crown her your queen?“ Arthur a smack upside the head by Shinra

“No you idiot, they’ve probably been dating for years and are getting married“ great now the duo was fighting

“Knock it off you two, this is his special day not to mention his fiance too“ Iris tried to split them up. Hinawa pinched the bridge of his nose sighing 

“Can you all give this day for me please, and if not for her at least. You’ll meet her after the ceremony. I’ll see you all then“ he waved and turned to walk to the end of the isle where he would wait for you. Meanwhile you were getting final touches done before your grand walk. 

You were marrying the man of your dreams and you couldn’t be happier. You had been dating for 2 years and now you were tying the knot. Aside from nerves you more excited than anything. You were also meeting his coworkers from company 8. They were like his family and now you were going to become a part of them. 

Your maid of honor came into the room and handed you your bouquet, it was time. You take a deep breath and follow her down the hall to the garden. As you waited at the double doors you hear the piano begin to play the wedding march and so open the doors. You concentrate on nothing but the end of the isle where the love of your life waited for you. 

As for Hinawa, it’s like the air was knocked out of his lungs watching you walk down the isle. His heart had grown wings and fluttered with each step you took closer to him. Finally you reach him and take his hand to join him at the alter. 

“Wow“ everyone had said at one time after seeing you. You were absolutely gorgeous. You smile was stunning but soft, your eyes glistened with kindness, and your skin smooth and soft. The boys were practically drooling over you but captain Obi had to keep them in line. Of course poor Shinra had his grin plastered on his face. They were shushed as the vows had begun

“I, Hinawa Takehisa take you as my lawfully wedded wife. To have a to hold until death do us part. I will wake every morning to be the best man I can possibly be for you. I will be your light in darkness, your strength when needed, and wisdom when lost. I will use my hands to build you up and keep you stable. I vow to love you for the rest of my days until I take my last breath“ he said as he slipped the wedding band on to your finger. You wipe a tear as you pick up his ring and recite your vows 

“I, Y/F/N, take you as my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold until death do us part. I will be the best I can to support and care for you. To be your light in darkness, and your strength in weakness. I vow to love you with my heart and soul and to stand with you when you need me most. My hands will support and nurture you for as long as we live“ you slip on his wedding band and intertwine your fingers for the final part of the ceremony.

“With the power vested in me I pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride“ His hands slide his hands on to your waist and one to your jaw as he brings into a tender kiss. It set off sparks in your chest, and butterflies in your stomach. It was finally official, you were Mrs.Hinawa. 

The crowd cheered and clapped in your union. As you walk down the isle you wave to family and friends who attended. It was almost like a dream, one you never wanted to wake from. Now you were on the way to your reception to really celebrate and meet up with everyone. Rose petals fell from the sky as everyone threw handfuls over your head. Getting into the waiting limo you were off to your destination. 

Your now husband was a bit more excited than you thought. He insisted on littering your face with kisses on the way over. 

“Hinaaa~“ you giggle as he kissed along your jaw 

“We can always skip this and head to our honeymoon“ he said muffled between your shoulder and neck 

“No Hina, I want to meet your friends and I want to see everyone have a good time“ you pull him away and cup his face and peck his lips “besides, I want my first dance with you“ 

“*sigh* I do want them to meet you“ damn right he did. Not only did he have the best woman to now call his wife but he wanted everyone be cared for to know. Your limo had come to a stop at a grand hall he rented out. Taking his hand in yours you step out of the limo and walk to the door. You can hear the buzzing of conversations and laughter. Music was muffled in the background until it was time to really party.

The doors open and everyone’s attention is on the new couple. Cheers and applaud fill your ears to the brim as a huge grin had plastered itself on your face. You walk to the grand table where the bride and groom would receive gifts and messages from the guests. Taking your seats everyone did as well.

Hinawa was handed a Microphone and began his peace

“Thank you all for coming out today, it means a lot to us. I know I don’t show emotion too often but I truest am beyond happy. Happy to have you all here and happy to now be married to the love of my life. So” he raises his glass “cheers to new beginnings and a lovely marriage”

“Cheers!” The hall erupted with a synchronized cheer. Now ehre came the guests. Your father gone first and got emotional about his little girl growing up. But he knew you were in good hands, next was your mother who went on about grandchildren. Your best friends and coworkers as well.

When you looked around you notice you had more guests than your husband and it made you...a bit sad. You know what he’s been through and how much he has lost, you just want him to feel happy.

Luckily he had just the people. Instead of a single person the entire company 8 came up to speak. Obi began first

“First off congratulations Hinawa. You’re a good man and you deserve good things in life and by what I see and hear, you’ve got a good one” now Maki

“Congrats Lieutenant Hinawa. You’ve done so much for me and I always thank you for the opportunities you’ve given me. You and your wife are a lovely couple and I wish you both the best”

Iris had gone up to the table and given you a blessing for a happy and long marriage.

“Sir, you’ve found your maiden and a fine prize you have won. I hope to see you both prosper in your kingdom together” you look at Hinawa confused and he shook his head but smiled.

“Sir, you’re one of the hardest working people I know. I know you’ve been through hell and back, you’re probably still there too but I hope you’re happy. You’ve lost a lot but today I can tell you’ve gained the world and I’m happy for you. Cheers to the new couple”

“Cheers!” You thought you were going to cry. You had only just met them but they were so kind and thoughtful. Now you realized he had gained the world but not just with you but with them as well. The lights dim and your song had come one. He takes your hand and leads you down to the floor. The crowd quiets down as they watch you away with each other.

Your left hands intertwined, your rings clinking together. His other hand on your lower back and yours on his shoulder. He held you close as he gazes into your e/c orbs. He was completely infatuated with you and your existence, and you were actaully his. His wife, his partner in crime, his everything.

He leans his forehead against yours and whispers against your lips

“I love you...“

“And I love you...”

*******************************************************

I hope this was okay!

[steviemae]

happy accident // fp

requested by anonymous: Can I get a FP Jones imagine where the reader is Fred Andrews daughter and Archie’s sister and during the time FP goes to jail she falls pregnant with his baby and Fred finds out cause he found the positive pregnancy test in the bathroom. She told FP she was pregnant before he went to jail. Also could Archie and the core four find out about her pregnancy and if you want add a part where they’re both raising their daughter? Please

You looked at the stick in your hand letting out a deep breath you were holding. Positive.

“Okay.” you breathed. You wrapped the test in toilet paper and put it in the trash can hoping your dad or Archie wouldn’t find it. You grabbed your phone off the counter and text FP asking if you could come over for a few. You needed to tell him. If there’s anyone you need to talk to right now that could possibly calm your nerves, it’s FP.

He text back immediately saying to come on over. Thankfully, all of the younger Serpents were still in school so you wouldn't have to worry about Jughead listening in, which he tends to do because that kid does not know how to keep his nose out of other people’s business. You grabbed your keys off the counter and walked down the stair, calling to your dad who sat at the kitchen island that you would be back in a few.

You and FP had been a thing for almost a year now. It started at the beginning of summer last year when you came to visit your dad and Archie after being away at college. You opted for living with your mother because the education system where she was going was much better than that of Riverdale High and you cared a lot about your grades and getting into the best colleges. You had just graduated and wanted to have a summer of fun before you started a job working with your degree. You met FP while helping your dad out at the construction site with balancing the books and what not. You had helped him get his paperwork in order to start working and you clicked instantly. He shared stories about him and your dad during high school and even stories about when Archie was a kid, which you had missed out on. He was only a baby when you moved with your mom, but you visited frequently and made sure you texted every day and called at least once a week.

After he invited you to join him at Pop’s during his lunch break, everything between you and FP had just happened. Though there was a short break between the two of you when you thought it wasn’t a good idea to be fooling around with your brother’s best friends dad AND your dad’s best friend, you called it quits. That’s when he went after Alice Cooper. That didn’t last long seeing as FP had called and practically begged you to come back. You helped him through his alcohol dependency and ever since then you’ve been his rock.

You had decided to just stay in Riverdale, using your degree here and found a job rather quickly. You stayed with your dad until you could save enough for a nice apartment or house even and you and FP kept seeing each other. Now you were pregnant and scared about how you could possibly tell anyone about you and FP.

“Hey, babe.” he greeted when you walked through the door. He stood up from the couch to walk over and give you a kiss.

“I have something to tell you.” you said rubbing your palms together out of nervousness. You grabbed one of your hands and lead you over to the couch, sitting you down as he took a seat on the coffee table in front of you.

“What’s up?” he asked rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand that he held.

“I don’t really know how to say this so i’m just gonna spit it out. Like a bandaid.” you took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself, “i’m pregnant.” you watched FP’s eyes get wide and his jaw drop making you chuckle. Not because of the situation but because his face was actaully hilarious.

“How far along?” he asked squeezing your hand.

“I don’t know, i have to make an appointment to get an ultrasound and they can tell me. I literally took the test less than an hour ago.”

“Well let’s make one. Call the hospital now.” he said grabbing your phone hurriedly from it’s spot on the couch cushion and shoving it into your hand.

“I can’t tell if your happy about this or not.” you furrowed your eyebrows as FP stood up and started pacing the floor.

“Oh my god, i’m gonna have a baby.” he breathed out. He stopped pacing and ran his hands through his hair before turning to look at you. A smile spread across his face and he rushed over to you, grabbing your face and kissing you passionately. When he pulled away, he still had a giant grin on his face.

“We’re having a baby.” he whispered. You laughed a little and nodded your head, grabbing his wrist with your hand, letting your thumb brush over the skin on the back of his hand. FP moved to sit next to you as you looked up the phone number for the doctor, making an appointment for as soon as possible.

“Okay, thank you. See you Friday.” you hung up the phone and looked at FP, “friday at noon. Think you can make that?” you asked.

“I’ll be there, baby.” he leaned over and kissed you.

“Okay, i have to go. Archie and i promised dad a family dinner.” FP walked you out to your car, kissing you before he closed the door and watched as you pulled away.

At the house, you walked in to find your dad sitting at the island with his head in his hands.

“Hey, pops. What’s wrong?” you asked walking in and sitting across from him. He slid over the poorly wrapped pregnancy test across the island and let his arms fall and rest on the counter.

“Is this yours? Please say yes, because if Archie got -”

“Yeah, dad. It’s mine. Archie didn’t get anyone pregnant.” you cut him off not wanting your dad to stress about Archie. You watched as he let out a sigh of relief.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were with someone? You’ve been living here for almost a year, and you never once brought up a boy.” he asked.

“I don’t think you’ll approve of him.” you dropped your eyes to the counter, not wanting to look your dad in the face. Your dad had this intense stare and if he looked once into your eyes, you’d most likely spill everything.

“Well, i’d love to meet him sometime. Maybe invite him over for dinner soon.” he suggested.

“Can we figure out what’s going on first? I don’t even know how far along i am. I promise i’ll tell you soon, i just want to make sure everything’s going to work out first.” you said. Your dad nodded in understanding as he stood up and motioned you in for a hug. You smiled and stood up, wrapping your arms around his middle.

“Can we keep this between the two of us? Like i said, i want to make sure everything is fine before i tell anyone. I just found out today.” you asked.

“Sure thing, kid.” he kissed your forehead and let you go, walking over to finish dinner.

--

Over the next couple of days, you began to grow excited. Your appointment was tomorrow and you couldn’t be more nervous, but excited at the same time. Well, until you got the call.

“Riverdale County Jail, call coming from inmate FP Jones. Do you accept the charges?” an automated voice said when you answered.

“Yes.” you said simply. You were scared, worried, sad and slightly hurt.

“Y/n?” he said the second the call went through.

“FP, what the hell is going on?” you asked panic ridden.

“Look, i’ve been arrested for connections to the murder of the Blossom boy. I need you to not stress out, okay. I promise you, i will get out soon and we’re going to have this baby.” he spoke. As the words left his mouth, tears began to fall from your eyes.

“How am i supposed to do this without you? I don’t even know what i’m doing.” you sobbed into the phone.

“Sh, baby. It’s okay. I’ll figure it out, okay.” you trusted FP. You knew that he would figure everything out. You let out a small, broken okay and the call ended. You collapsed on the couch in the living room letting out a dramatic sob. Your dad and Archie came running in, both of them sitting beside you and wrapping their arms around you without hesitation.

“What’s wrong?” Archie asked rubbing your back.

“FP’s in jail.” you managed to spit out.

“Okay, so why are you crying?” Archie asked confused.

“Because i’m pregnant with his baby and he’s in jail for some murder and i don’t know what the hell i’m going to do.” both Archie and your dad’s eyes widened in shock as you continued to sob into your hands.

“Wait. FP is the guy you’ve been seeing this last year? He’s the father of your baby?” you dad questioned.

“Yes, and i really don’t want to be lectured right now because i have to figure out how to get through this without him and i’m scared and i don’t know how long he’s going to be in the there.” you cried.

“We’ll figure it out, sweetheart. Just calm down, okay.” you dad shushed you, bringing you back into his arms to calm you down.

“You can’t tell anyone, Archie. I don’t want anyone to know yet.” you said after you’ve calmed down a bit.

“No worries. I won’t say a word. This is your news to tell, but i’m happy for you.” he said giving you a genuine smile.

--

Months had past, you had told everyone you and FP were expecting. Jughead was the most excited and the most shocked. Everyone else was very mellow as far as reactions. Jughead refused to let you go to any of your appointments alone until his dad got out of jail. He even invited you to stay at the trailer so he could watch over you and make sure nothing happened, but you declined saying that your bed at your house was much more comfortable than the mattress at the trailer, especially for a pregnant woman.

You had a baby shower and everything, though you were sad FP couldn’t be here to celebrate with all of you. You were opening the last gift at the baby shower, pulling out the tiny leather jacket.

“Who could this be from?” you asked looking around. You hadn’t invited any of the Serpent’s because you weren’t close with them and FP wasn’t around. You looked around the room until your eyes landed on FP who stood in the back, leaning against a wall with a giant smile on his face.

“Oh my god.” you said, dropping everything you had in your hands and lap, trying your best to get up from the chairs as fast as you could. Jughead rushed over and helped you.

“Careful, y/n.” he laughed. You pushed him out of the way and waddled your way over to FP, immediately wrapping your arms around his neck and planting a long awaited kiss on his lips.

“God i missed you.” he whispered against your lips when you pulled away.

“We missed you too.” you whispered back. FP’s hands found their way to your bulging stomach, letting them rub across it earning a kick from your little one in the process.

“I can’t believe i missed so much.” his eyes began to fill with tears.

“That doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you’re here now and you won’t miss the birth.” you said brushing away a stray tear.

“Let’s get a picture of the parent’s to be.” Betty said with a giant smile on her face motioning for you and FP to turn around so she could get the picture. You and FP stood side by side, one of your hands on your stomach and one of FP’s right next to yours, giant smiles on both of your faces as the flash went off.

[spideyy-girl]

Speak Now - Bucky Barnes (AU)

Request: Do you do any song fics? If you do, could you please do a Bucky Barnes fanfic with Speak now or Angel with a shotgun with a college/roomate Bucky??

Summary: based on the song Speak Now by Taylor Swift (i suck at descriptions as you know so imma leave it at that just read it)

Warnings: lil bit of angst, wedding crashing, some fluffy at the end ;)

Word Count: 2769 (7.6 pages)

Date: September 26th, 2018

A/N: YES!! I DO TAKE SONG FIC REQUESTS. I actaully love them to be honest. SO feel free to send some. Sorry I haven’t been updating and thanks for being patient with me school just started a few weeks ago and that’s always shot haha yay. But I’m back on track! Hope you guys like (Also one of my older imagines but it’s not too bad I guess haha)

I am not the kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion

But you are not the kind of boy, who should be marrying the wrong girl

Bucky Barnes has been my best friend since sophomore year in high school. We met at Phys Ed, where I had surprisingly outrun him, which almost never happened. It was bound to be ever since. 

In recent years I had even begun to develop a crush on the long-haired man, well, at least it was at first just innocent. I didn’t even realise I was falling until I hit my head hard on the ground. What would cause such an awakening, you might ask? 

“He’s getting married,” Steve Rogers, our neighbour and Bucky’s roommate said, looking almost depressed about what should have been happy news. But how could anyone be happy? Especially with Carli Anne Johnson, the biggest princess bitch in town, in fact, maybe even the world. The bowl of ice cream you had in your hand was dropped out of pure shock, devastation, anger.

“H-h-he, w-what?” You asked, trying to contain yourself. You were never one to show any signs of weakness. “To that bitch?! I can’t even look at her without wanting to rip my eyeballs out. And he never even told me!” I started yelling, pulling at the strands of your Y/H/C hair. Steve nodded solemnly.

“I know, which is why I came here.” He said looking at you, grabbing your shoulders with his strong hands. “You can’t let him marry the wrong girl, we all know that it can’t be her he spends the rest of his life with, especially you.”

And that’s how I got here, about to crash my best friend’s wedding, and hopefully win him back. I couldn’t let him marry the wrong girl.

I sneak in and see your friends

And her snotty little family all dressed in pastel

And she is yelling at a bridesmaid

Somewhere back inside a room wearing a gown shaped like a pastry.

Steve helped me sneak inside the venue, Bucky had asked him to be his Best Man anyways. I see the giant hall at the end of the corridor, plastered in white ribbons, streamers, and other decoratives. There was an expensive looking velvet carpet with gold trimmings rolled down the aisle all the way up to the altar. I could see some of my fellow classmate’s and some of the football team, Bucky’s friends, sitting in the pews. On the other side of the grand hall, I could see the Johnson family, all dressed to the nine’s in beautiful pastel pinks, purples, blues, and yellows, while the men wore sharp black tuxes.

As I walk further down, I can hear screaming. I knew that voice. Actually, this yelling often occurred right in front of my face, targeted at me. Carli’s tan face would start to turn red, the colour not suiting very well with her perfectly curled platinum blonde hair and sparkling baby blue eyes. 

I peeked into the room to see the exact image I thought of playing out right in front of me. It was odd seeing it from a different angle. She was yelling at her little sister, Lizzy, who looked like a rose pink pastry. I felt awful for the young girl, to have such a monstrous being as a sibling. What did Bucky ever see in her? Sure, she was gorgeous, but that shouldn’t have mattered.

“Stop being such a little shit, Elizabeth. Last I recalled today was my special day, not yours. I’m the one getting married, not you!” Carli screamed at the quivering girl, her spit flying into her face, the fat tears rolling down her face slightly smudging her makeup. “Not like anyone would ever want to marry you anyways. You’re not even that pretty.”

“But Carls, all I asked for is if you could help me with my hair and makeup since I figured you're the expert at this.” Lizzy reasoned, trying her best to look strong and stop crying. “I just wanted to spend some time with you! I never see you anymore!”

“Thank God,” Carli mumbled, though it was still clear as to what she had said. “I don’t even know how I survived with you for, like, ten years. I’m happy I’m getting away from all you losers. Now, why don’t you go and fix yourself up, you look like a trainwreck.” She stomped off to the attached door to the dressing room when she finished.

This is surely not what you thought it would be

I lose myself in a daydream, where I stand and say

I drag my eyes away from the young teenager and continue onto my path towards the grand hall where the ceremony will be held. My mind didn’t even process what I was doing, where I was going, the events about to happen. My nerves started to crash over me like a raging tidal wave. I was walking in the open, not stopping to think if anyone had seen me or are about to. Then I felt a tight grip on my arm, pulling me into a small room on the side.

I was about to scream but I felt a rough hand cover my mouth, muffling the sound. Dread rippled through my body as my eyes widened and breath hitched.  Oh no, I thought to myself. Please don’t let it be him, please don’t let it be Bucky. 

The hand was lifted when they were sure I wasn’t going to screech at the top of my lungs and turned me around. Thank God, it was Steve. He looked a bit worried, and a bit terrified.

“You okay? You were sort of dozed off, walking around there.” He said, scanning you over. “ You’re lucky I caught you before someone else did. I just wanted to check if you remembered the plan.” I nodded, staying silent.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” I said quietly, keeping my head down. “What if he really is happy with her? I would ruin his life.” Steve shook his head, shaking me.

“Have you seen him lately? A total mess, I’m telling you. Besides, I think he’s been dropping hints for a while now.” Steve encouraged me. “Why don’t we run through it?”

Don’t say yes, run away now

I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door

Don’t wait, or say a single vow

You need to hear me out, and they said Speak Now.

I went through a small speech I was supposed to give when I would barge in. I had so carefully written it to perfection, but now I could only remember bits and pieces. What was I thinking when I agreed to do this?!

I pretended as if Steve was Bucky and the crowd, but I couldn’t even say it in front of him, let alone like 500 other people. I told him where I planned to meet him if he did agree to run off with me, away from Carli, her stupid stuck up family, and apparently all the other troubles of the world.

I couldn’t let him say yes though. Although I would never admit it aloud, I realised the way Bucky had looked when she popped out of nowhere and stole him away from us for the rest of the day. If I let this ceremony go through, she’ll steal him away for the rest of our goddamn lives.

It’d hurt me too, seeing him run off with the girl he never loved. Not just because of my constantly growing feelings towards him, but that’s also the protective best friend side coming out of me. I couldn’t stand him not being happy, and living the rest of his sorry days with that thing.

Somewhere deep down, I hoped knew that it was supposed to be me up there in the flowing white gown and veil standing in front of him, a big smile adorned on my face as well as his. And he knew the exact same thing, pondering it just minutes before he got married off, but to the wrong girl.

Fun gestures are exchanged

And the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march

And I am hiding in the curtains

It seems that I was uninvited be you lovely bride to be

I hear excited whispered conversations that are soon cut off by the earth-rattling sound of the giant organ playing. The tune of ‘Here Comes the Bride’ was smoothly played out, as the small voices were silenced. The tune sounded depressing as if it were a funeral instead of a wedding.

Everyone turned their head to the back of the room, where I was standing just moments ago. I had hopped behind a velvet curtain matching the roll of carpet down the aisle when I heard the first chord of the organ.

I got a good look at everyone’s faces who had attended. As it seemed, there were a lot more familiar faces than I had counted. Mostly everyone from our year, and even quite a few from the ones below and above us. Of course, I wasn’t one of those individuals. I hadn’t gotten an invitation.

I wasn’t even informed of the engagement. My best mate’s engagement.

I wondered then if she had forced him not to send an invitation to me, or if I had possibly even slipped their minds. It was almost 100% not the latter. Surely Bucky would’ve said something if he was free to say it. Right? 

I’m distracted by my thoughts as my eyes land on the said boy. His long black waves were gelled back, other than a thin strand that hung loosely at the side of his face. It looked much different than his usual ponytail. He was dressed in a white tuxedo with a black button up underneath and a black bowtie. He had white pants to match his blazer, and shiny black loafers adorned on his feet.

But the most different thing about his look was the stern look on his face. He looked almost emotionless, not happy but not angry or disappointed either, it was nothingness. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that side of him, his signature flashy grin was always plastered to his slightly chapped lips, it was always his best feature. Without it, he looked like a lost soul.

She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen

But I know you wish it was, you wish it was me

Don’t you?

Right on queue, I heard the clicking of her six-inch heels, like she needed to be any taller anyways. Although I despised her more now that I ever did for the whole time I’ve known her, I can’t not say that she looked absolutely stunning. Her long, lacy white wedding gown dragged behind her for what seemed like miles, held by two of her bridesmaids at the end. her veil was laced, with small white flowers on the headpiece. Her white heels laced up to her knees, also covered in little flowers and butterflies. 

Although she was the devil in human form, I do see the reasoning as to looking past her ugly personality and to her beautiful exterior. In fact, there were many people who would accept her for just that. But not Bucky. Not my Bucky.

I looked at him, back up near the altar, and although I could tell he thought she did look stunning, that he felt guilty. Like he was thinking the same as me, imagining my face, my body, my persona in that flowing dress, those high heels, behind that veil.

She stepped up to stand in front of him, like any other normal wedding, when I noticed that she held the exact same expression as her fiancée. The nothingness. And then, the ceremony commenced.

I hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold your peace

There’s the silence there’s my last chance

I stand with shaking hands all eyes on me

Horrified looks from everyone in the room but I’m only looking at you

“If there are any objections, speak now, or forever hold your peace,” the priest says as he stands between the couple. Bucky looks around the room, almost hopeful that someone would stand up, but no one. Not yet anyway.

I look down at my hands, sweaty and shaking. I wipe them off on my lovely Y/F/C dress, and lightly grasp the soft material. I look up to see Steve looking back at me expectantly.

“This is your last chance!” He mouthed at me before winking and turning back to the front as if nothing had happened. I took a deep breath, before standing up from my place.

“I object!” I stated loudly, everyone in the room freezes, before turning towards me. Every single pair of eyes stared me down, but I focused on only one thing, or more specifically, one person. James Buchanan Barnes. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, you bitch!” Carli screamed, stomping her feet and her face turned redder than I’ve ever seen it before. “Get out of here! You weren’t invited! No one wants you here-”

“Shut up for once, will you?” Bucky snarled at her, but not breaking our eye contact. I could see the ghost of a smile starting to appear again.

“These two obviously aren’t now and never will be truly happy with each other, it just wasn't meant to be,” I said, as I slowly inched up the aisle. “And I’m here to make sure that Bucky Barnes doesn’t marry the wrong girl.”

“Thank God,” he mumbled with a slight laugh, only to get harshly hit in the stomach with a bouquet of flowers in the hands of Carli.

“What the hell are you talking about, baby? We’re perfect for each other, and everyone knows it.” She said after she dropped the flowers and started to rub his arm, only for him to shoo her off.

“Let’s be real here, Carls. It was never gonna happen, and it never should. You’ll find the perfect person for you one day, but let me tell you now that that person is definitely not me. Because me person is right here, in front of me. Y/N L/N.” Bucky said as he walked down the shallow steps towards you, his bright smile in full effect once again. I smiled back, feeling tears well up in my eyes. 

I am not the kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion

But you are not the kind of boy, who should be marrying the wrong girl

So don’t say yes run away now, I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the backdoor

Don’t wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out and they said Speak Now

And you’ll say let’s run away now, I’ll meet you when I’m out of my tux at the backdoor

Baby I didn’t say my vows, so glad you were around when they said Speak Now

I met Bucky at the back of the church once he changed out of his suit and into his usual black jeans and a band tee. I quickly changed out of my dress as well. When he walked out he looked like he was glowing as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and kissed my temple. I smiled and cuddled into his side as we started walking away from the chaos.

“I’m so happy you showed up. I didn’t know if Steve had told you or not about it. I was sort of planning this.” He says as we got into my slightly worn down car. I started it up and drove out of the parking lot onto the abandoned narrow road.

“I’m happy I did too, wouldn’t want you marrying someone like her. Don’t know what you were thinking.” I laughed and he soon joined in, nodding his head in agreement. After the laughter died down there was a silence. It wasn’t awkward, just sort of there. “So, what happens now?” I ask, looking at him for a quick moment. He smirked, putting his arm on the back of my seat, squeezing my shoulder.

“We run away together, we can continue our education somewhere else. You know, live happily ever after.” He said in a mocking quirky voice. I giggled.

“Sounds like a plan.”

[highkehigh]

break for the mind/body

damn been a lil over a week since my last post and takin a break once ina while/every so often (dependin on how often ya need to regain ya energy back) is hella needed/recommended, cause breaks are an amazin tool to restart/evaluate ya-self. by takin this small break, regatherin my energy, gave me the motivation to get back on my workout grind and lower my anxiety. when my depression was gettin bad over this past year due to covid, i aint have to energy to do anything but jut be angry at myself/those around me. like if anybody tried to even talk to me i would pop off for no reason and start goin super saiyan, it was like my slow breathing was the fuel to fire. no matter how many minutes passed i was still breathin out fire. i had sooooooooo much anger/nervousness bottle up that i genuinely hated myself, like looking in the mirror everyday was something i struggled w/alot cause i felt so disgustingly ugly w/my nasty ass attitude and never bein able to control it. but isolatin myself and not talkin to anyone i can say im doin much better this morning and actaully am smilin. if ya suffer from maaaaaajor anxiety/depression, i suggest ya start an exercise regiment/sports/any physical activities to release some of those nerves/thoughts and tired the mind out a lil w/mental & physical stimulation, to tire out the mind/body and kind of ease out the nervousness/triggers. now im not sayin this will help ya 1000% & ya finna be cured. cause sad to say ya stuck w/ya illness/mental struggle for the rest of ya life and once ya realize that/accept it, the healing process begins. however this is a good tool to understand ya body/mind and even on those bad ass days where workin out aint even in the picture cause you might be too overwhelmed, then take a day off the relax and see where your thoughts be goin and try to navigate thru em. cause just bottlin up the feelings and tryin to ignore em will only make shit worst for you. it might suck now, but finna suck less later cause ya mind/body aint dwellin on the past & ya aint lettin the past you dictate ya future. shit this entry prolly everywhere ion even know how to end it off properly, but fuck im endin it here, gotta start the workout(; peace out ona litty start to my day <3

[everythingisgayandnothinghurts]

Five Times Jace didn’t kiss Alec and one time he finally did

Hey all!! This was prompted to me by @dahdarios and it took me so long to get it done.  First Jalec fic here so go easy on me guys haha.  Hope you all enjoy it and happy reading :)

~~~

Jace paces back and forth across his bedroom, glaring at the book laying innocently on his bed like it had personally offended him.  He had laid up reading it all night long, trying to find some loophole that made this sick feeling in his stomach leave him alone.  He curses aloud softly and runs his hands through his hair, pulling slightly at the ends.  The sky outside is darkening quickly and he needs to get his clothes on for the ceremony and stop torturing himself.  They had decided to do this months ago, the parabatai ceremony.  Alec is his best friend without question.  He’s also his only friend, but that was another thing altogether.  He keeps telling himself that’s the reason for these feelings he couldn’t explain or control.  It is the reason his palms have started to sweat every time he’s around Alec, and also why he’s dropped the staff three times this week while sparring.  

He didn’t realize what was happening until some boys had been visiting from the L.A. Institute two weeks ago.  They were all tall, tan, and full of muscle over every inch of their bodies.  They also tended to spar with their shirts off altogether, and that had been one hell of a distraction.  Hodge had left them to spar amongst themselves while he had to train these visiting strangers.  Jace had attempted to follow his orders by sparring with Isabelle, but that had proved to be a futile effort.  He beat her without the slightest bit of effort since she was too busy looking over at their visitors.  She kept smiling every time one of them glanced their way and was too distracted to be of any real competition.  He wanted to whack her upside the head and ask her what had gotten into her when Alec stepped in and told Jace to just spar with him instead.  

“Come on Jace, she’s too busy having a crush on those stupid boys to actually work.”  He had rolled his eyes and snatched the blade from his sister’s hand, who for once didn’t even protest at being left out of something.  They had spent the afternoon sparring pleasantly enough and it wasn’t until he was in bed that night that he had realized Izzy was the same amount of distracted that he was these days and that the cause was likely the same reason.

In short, he realized he was fucked.

“Hey,” Alec slips in his room easily with practiced ease, as they had been doing this for months.  Being close friends and slipping through doors in late hours when they were supposed to be doing something else, normally sleeping.  

“Hey Alec,” Jace says, the knowledge eating at him slowly like some kind of parasite.  He thought about telling Alec nearly all the time, of this feeling that had taken residence in his heart and just wouldn’t leave.  Then he has to think about what that would honestly help.  He would hurt Alec by telling him and not becoming his parabatai, since anything not platonic would be absolutely forbidden.  Chances are Alec would never feel the same way about him anyways, so the whole thing would be a moot point.

“Jace, are you okay?” Alec asks, his voice low and comforting the way it was after Jace woke up shaking and crying tears he couldn’t control.  Alec had seen him at his lowest so many times and Jace trusted him with everything...just not this.  “If you have any doubts about this….just tell me.  This is as big as getting married.  Well, in a way.”  Jace glances up to see a bright blush on Alec’s cheeks and it melts his heart.  “Jace, I know I’m not the best fighter yet.  I’m improving and I’m practicing and I will live up to-”

“Stop, Alec, stop,” Jace says quietly with a hand on his arm.  “I don’t have doubts.  I am lucky to be your parabatai.  The luckiest Shadowhunter in the world.  I want to do this, absolutely.”

“Thanks Jace,’ Alec mumbles as his eyes lock on Jace’s hand on his arm.  “I guess nerves got to me.”

“I’ll see you in there,” Jace tells him with an encouraging smile.  “Tonight Maryse brought out all the stops for dinner.  We can celebrate later and everything will be great.  You could even stay over tonight in my room….if you wanted.”

“Yes,” Alec says without hesitation.  What the hell was he thinking?  Inviting Alec to his bed when he felt this way?  Was he some kind of masochist?  When the ceremony was complete there was no backing out and changing his mind.  There would be no chances after this.  Alec would have to be his friend and his brother with no other ties between them.  

Jace didn’t kiss Alec that night, but he did bind his soul to him, and that would have to be enough.

~~

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, we are not yet done for the day,” Hodge’s voice booms across the the training room where Jace lays with Alec and Isabelle, trying to recover from the last set of burpees they had had to endure.  He loved being a Shadowhunter, but training was always going to be a pain in the ass.  

“Hodge, please, I’m going to die,” Isabelle begs with her large eyes peering up at their tutor.

“When you can successfully outrun a demon for six miles you’ll thank me,” Hodge says wryly as he helps her to her feet once again.  Jace doesn’t know if he’s this tired all on his own or if he is feeling some of it from Alec, who looks far more exhausted than his sister but he hasn’t said a word in complaint.  He strips his shirt off and Jace feels his eyes lingering, no matter how much he wishes they wouldn’t .  Alec was gorgeous with firm muscle all over his body bulking up by the day.  

“While I train our miss here on her birthday present why don’t you two go back to some basics with hand to hand combat?” Hodge suggests as Isabelle immediately lights up and runs to the cupboard on the far side of the room where her new whip is held safely in its velvet box.  

“Yes sir,” Alec says obediently as he trudges to the open space used for sparring.

“Can you at least admit to me you’re tired so I don’t feel like an idiot?” Jace hisses to him as he walks closely behind him.  

“You can’t feel it?  I’m surprised,” Alec says with a smirk in Jace’s direction.  “We’ve run four miles today on top of every other torture Hodge can think of.  Not to mention we were up until two last night.  Of course I’m fucking exhausted.”

“You’re sick,” Jace says suddenly, realizing why he feels so off today without a real cause.  “Your throat hurts and yoru body aches.  You’re sick.  Why didn’t you tell Hodge?  I wondered why you weren’t miles ahead of me during laps today.”

“Shut up,” Alec says lowly, even though Hodge wasn’t anywhere near them.  “It’s just a cold.  I’ll be fine.  This whole you reading my emotions thing is annoying.”

“Not like I’m good at it,” Jace sighs as he takes his place across the circle from Alec.  “You ready for this? I’ll go easy on your sickly ass.”

“Sick or not I can still whoop your ass,” Alec says confidently and if he smirked one more time Jacee was going to have to kill him, or himself.  Alec silently counted down and then they were going at it with everything they had.  Jace lived for the sparring and the physical, tangible way of touching Alec as much as he wanted without needing an excuse of any kind.  He loved the way he cound anticipate Alec’s moves as easily as his parabatai anticipated his.  They were the only two that could truly challenge one another in this way.  Jace had beaten Hodge soundly last week, and then promptly Alec had pinned him only moments later.  

Over the last half an hour they were going at it Jace only pinned Alec once to the mat while Alec slammed him for the third time into the mat.  Jace beat Alec at everything else, but hand to hand combat was his weakness.  It was probably at least partly because Jace is incredibly distracted with Alec pressed against him like that.  He looks up into Alec’s hazel eyes and for the millionth time thought about how beautiful he was.  His eyes darted to Alec’s lips several times and that was when Jace realized they were actaully alone in the training room.  He has no idea where Hodge had stolen Izzy off to, but the room was empty and Alec wasn’t moving from his position on top of him.  His hand was on Jace’s chest while the other held both his wrists.  Their legs and hips were pressed together snugly and he couldn’t stop looking at Alec’s full lips inches from his own.  Alec is panting above him and Jace can feel his breath on his face and for some reason it was driving him crazy.  They were both sweating profusely with Alec’s knee between his thighs and this position was actually quite ridiculous.  

“You let me win,” Alec says lowly as he licks his lips a few times.  Jace seriously wants to strangle him.  

“I was distracted,” Jace replies, not even remotely lying.  “I didn’t exactly let you win.”

“What the fuck could have distracted you?” Alec asks with a tiny smile.  “We’re literally alone in a room full of mats.”

Damn Alec Lightwood and his gorgeous….everything.

“My shoulder is starting to ache,” Jace replies instead of answering, feeling the twinge start to matter.  Alec seems to come back to himself and lets him up.  His parabatai still sits close enough to touch as they catch their breath.  Jace hates him and hates how his heart won’t stop racing since Alec is so close still and he can smell him so vividly, his aftershave permanently etched in his brain as the best smell in the world.  

“You okay?” Alec asks, likely getting mixed emotions through their bond and Jace never thought about how annoying it would be to have someone have an open book to his emotions.

“I’m good,” Jace says.  It isn’t the full truth, but he can’t say it’s exactly a lie either.  He is good as long as Alec is next to him, but the torture lies in that he can never be as close as Jace wants him to be.  “Do we dare go shower?  I don’ t know if I can do anything else today.”

“Pretty sure Izzy charmed him to let her out of training, so I”m gonna say let’s go for it.”  Alec reaches a hand out to help him up and once again they end up with their faces inchest apart.  Jace’s lips ache from how much he wants to kiss Alec in this moment.  He wants to feel Alec’s heart beating under his hands and feel his breath on his face for an entirely different reason.  

He doesn’t kiss Alec in the training room, even if his body is aching with the effort of holding back.  He doesn’t , but by the Angel does he want to.

~~

Five years go by and Jace wishes he could say his feelings were under control, but instead they grew by leaps and bounds.  They were eighteen and their lives were crazy.  Alec barely spoke to anyone these days, including him.  He had saved a mundane girl, turned Shadowhunter, and for some reason Alec wouldn’t even speak to him beyond their duties and during hunts.  Clary was spunky, fun, and fed his reckless side but she wasn’t Alec.  She didn’t bring him the peace he needed in his life.  Now that Valentine had reared his head all over again his nightmares were back once again.  He woke up alone and instead of someone coaxing him back to sleep he now went out to train before anyone else was up.  Alec always arrived shortly after he did, no doubt feeling him through the rune, but he never said a word to him about it.  

“Why are you sitting here cleaning blades with me?” Clary asks one night as they sit in the weapons room cleaning arrows and seraph blades.  Jace doesn’t let Clary touch Alec’s bow or his arrows as he cleans them meticulously, like somehow that would make their rift smaller.  “Isn’t this grunt work?  You’re the elite around here.”

“Nothing wrong with going back to the basics,” Jace says dully, hoping the rhythmic motions of cleaning will help his mind clear.  “Plus, you might do it wrong.”

“Did Alec send you in here to watch me clean things?  Seriously?” Clary asks with outrage in her voice.  “Does he really think I’m that much of an idiot? I can’t believe you two share a soul.  At least you’re decent to me.”

“Watch your mouth” Jace warns, voice low and menacing.  He only ever lost patience with Clary when she spoke poorly of Alec, and it happened more and more often the more awful his parabatai was to her.  

“Alec hates me,” Clary pouts, looking like a spoiled toddler in the moment and Jace could scarcely grasp just how much she had left to learn.  

“Alec hates everyone right now.” Jace responds.  “If he’s barely talking to me, then he isn’t talking to anyone else.”

“Just because he’s emotionally stunted and doesn’t know how to deal with a crush,” Clary scoffs as she sets another blade carefully where it belongs.  

“Alec doesn’t have a crush,” Jace says dismissively as he carefully finishes the last of his brother’s arrows and places them exactly where Alec likes them.  

“Wait, you don’t know?” Clary sounds impatient and her green eyes were fixed on him and wide in shock.  “You share a bond through your soul and you don’t know he’s in love with you?”

Jace sits there reeling, his head a complete mess and his heartbeat pounding in his ears.  She wasn’t right, couldn’t be.  There was no way she could know something that intricate about his parabatai when he didn’t.  Alec didn’t love him, couldn’t love him.  He made this oath with Alec to tie their souls together because he would never feel that way.  It was the only way he lived with himself the last six years every time he’s in Alec’s arms and never wants to let go.  The love he felt for Alec was destroying him slowly, and in a fucked up way that’s how he knew it was actually real.  It was the way Valentine taught him.  If it was something that destroyed you in a way you thought you would die, well that was love.  

“Alec doesn’t like men,” Jace says and only by careful self control did he control his hands from shaking as he finished up the last blades.  “You shouldn’t talk about stuff like that around here.  That’s dangerous with how the Clave is.”

“He may not like men, but he does like you.” Clary says confidently as she tossed the towel to the side and stood up.  “That’s why he’s been so moody probably.  You’re spending a lot of time with me.  SInce you assume he likes girls, I’m sure he assumes the same about you.”  She goes back to her rooms with a wave and a goodnight, hardly knowing that she had turned his world around.  

The next day Jace convinces himself to just tell Alec how he feels.  That maybe telling him will end this rift between them.  They can both stop being jealous of things that don’t exist.  He joins his brother and Izzy in the training room and before he can say a word Lydia Bramwell appears and they are announcing their marriage.  Jace once again is left with his heart breaking as he tries to read Alec as easily as he once had.  He can’t of course because they haven’t really spoken in days and everything is off with them and mostly awful.  

“You were supposed to tell them no,” Izzy snaps at their brother before turning away and stalking off.  Jace has no idea what slips between his numb lips before he follows her.  They end up in her room and he pulls his knees up to his chest on her bed.  

“He is such an idiot,” Izzy rants with hands on her slender hips, walking between the bed and the window.  

“What did you mean?  Who was he supposed to say no to?” Jace asks her, and is impressed that his voice stays so even when inside he is a falling apart mess.  If Clary just didn’t say anything last night he would have coped with this, but now the doubt in his mind won’t leave his heart alone.  

“Mom and Dad want him to marry someone the Clave has a high opinion of so we can keep the Institute in the family,” Izzy says in a heavy voice.  “He is an idiot and going along with their stupid plans.”

“He…” Jace clears his throat which causes Isabelle to give him a look.  “He might like her Iz.  She’s beautiful and smart and good at her job.  They seem to be friends.”

“Except she’s the fucking wrong gender,’ Izzy says with a roll of her eyes.  Jace’s heart stops for the third time in the last twenty-four hours and there’s no way that can be healthy.  That was the second person to say that Alec didn’t like girls, without even the slightest hesitation.  He may not trust Clary’s opinion of Alec, but he did trust Izzy.  

“I need to go,” Jace mutters as he darted out of her bedroom.  Isabelle was too angry to really even notice his hasty exit.  He walks quickly through the halls he calls home and tries to lock away the part of his brain screaming at him to go find Alec and tell him already.  Tell him the things he’s kept in his heart for six years.  Tell him that he can’t live without him, and that it has nothing to do with the rune on his hip.  He went to his usual spot to brood and he found Alec already there.  They did freakishly share a brain sometimes.  

Jace wanted to kiss him so bad….but not like this.

Not with Alec looking like the world is on his shoulders and has beaten him until he’s given up completely.  He knows that nobody except their totalitarian mother approved of this engagement and that Alec craves approval from others like air, even when he certainly never needs it.  Jace walks closer slowly and Alec’s bright hazel eyes caught his own and Jace quickly sat next to him and pulled him into a hug.  Alec isn’t crying, and maybe that makes it worse somehow.  This wasn’t fair, and if he didn’t like women then this marriage would do nothing but torture him the rest of his life.  

“You don’t have to do this,” Jace whispers him as he strokes his hair gently, away from any prying eyes of the Institute.  “But if you do, then I will treat her like she’s the love of your life.  I’m here for you Alec, no matter what.”

“Thank you Jace,” Alec says hoarsely as he hangs onto him tightly.  “I have to do this for the Institute, for our family.  If we lose the Institute we lose the only home we’ve ever known.  I’m not going to let that happen.”

“Do you love her?” Jace asks, if only to torture himself a bit more.  He knows this won’t do anything except hurt him either way the cookie crumbles.  If Alec says yes then it will feel like a stab to his already tender heart, and if Alec says no then it will feel like drowning in water so thick he can hardly move.

“No,” Alec says with his eyes closed and his lower lip between his teeth.  Jace rubs his back and hopes he can do something to make this not so torturous.  

“If you decide to do something for yourself this time, I”m here for that too.”  Jace hates how much he loves Alec’s muscles under his hands and he had started dreaming of bare skin under his hands and those runes under his tongue, tracing intricate patterns into his skin.  He bites his own lip harshly and forces his mind to forget those late night fantasies.  He couldn’t kiss Alec until he was sure.  Until they both were absolutely sure this was what they wanted.  

~~

Jace keeps himself busy the morning of Alec’s wedding to Lydia by making sure everything was getting done and he was everywhere but where Alec was.  He didn’t know how he was about to feel watching Alec on that altar with someone else, but he really didn’t want to find out until it was happening and hopefully the sight of Maryse and Robert would help keep him the fuck together.  He was avoiding Izzy as well, in case she had learned to read him as well as she read Alec.  Nobody knew his feelings, and he would do his best to keep it that way.  The one thing Valentine had taught him to a fault was how to hide his feelings from everyone else.  

Before he knew it Alec was in front of him standing by the altar and Jace was straightening the lapels of his jacket somewhat unnecessarily.  The crowd was already gathered and even though they had made up from their feud last night, Jace feels like things are off with his parabatai.  .

“Alright, you ready for this?” Jace asks as he hides his shaking hands behind his back.  Alec is getting married today and then that will be the end of chances.  He will be a married man and if Jace were to do anything it would not only break his parabatai bonds and oaths, they would break marriage ones as well.  He feels a knot in his stomach and it aches like nothing he’s ever felt before.

“As ready as I’m gonna be.” Alec replies, looking a bit nervous but nothing like the torture Jace was going through.  Alec may like men, but that didn’t mean he felt anything for a man in particular.  He tries to smile, but it falls a tad short.   “I’m glad you’re here with me.”

“Wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Jace squeezes his arms for a second before letting go and taking his dutiful place behind his parabatai to wait for his bride to show up.  He feels absolutely sick to his stomach as he watches this unfold in front of him.  He feels tears spring to his eyes and he hopes everyone will just take it that he’s so happy for his parabatai on the biggest day of his life.  

Then, Magnus Bane bursts in the room just as the rune to finalize everything is about to be placed on Alec by Lydia’s delicate hand.

Jace wishes that he would have been the one Alec was grabbing and kissing like that.  It’s a kiss that looks full of unspoken passion and longing.  It lasts what feels like an eternity as Jace is fixed to the spot.  He wonders what he ever did to deserve this form of torture.  

He didn’t kiss Alec, and Magnus Bane beat him to it.

~~~

Life is not destined to be kind to him it would seem as months fly by and the only thing that happens is getting kidnapped by Valentine and tortured for a few months.  He’s grateful he has been banished from the Institute, but not so grateful he’s wound up staying with Magnus.  He has no idea  what has been happening between the warlock and his parabatai the last few months, but he wasn’t ready to find out.  

Jace slowly sits up from bed and grits his teeth against the pain that radiated from his ribs that have so far been the slowest to heal.  He was mostly just exhausted all of the time and if he ever ventured out of this room he laid on the couch to watch a movie with Magnus.  He didn’t want to like Magnus, he really didn’t.  For all he knew Alec was in love with him and they were close to the marriage step themselves.  Shadowhunters fell fast and normally for good.  He was about to hobble out since he hears Magnus in the kitchen when he hears a knock on the door.  It was probably some client and Jace was not in the mood to deal with strangers  He pauses with a hand on the doorjamb and the other on the knob to see if whoever had come was here to stay.  

“Magnus,” Alec’s voice was piercing to him and Jace felt a flash of joy through his rune and his knees were threatening to buckle.  It would seem that the kiss at the wedding had lasted all these weeks and now Alec was here at his loft.  He didn’t pay close attention to their words, but he listened to the tones of their voices and wanted to die.  They both sounded so damn happy and warm towards one another as they talked quietly in the direction of the couches.  Once the voices stop Jace lets himself flop back on the bed and tries to ignore the pain in his heart and throbbing through his body.  The pain won’t let up and he rolls carefully on his side to bury his face in the plush pillows and lets the tears finally come that he never wants to let fall.  He cries for the way his heart keeps being broken over and over again.  He cries because of the pain he can’t escape asleep or awake.  He cries for the confusion and pain of the last few weeks that won’t stop assaulting him.  For the first time since he’d been a child he lets himself sob openly where nobody would hear him.  

He’s crying so hard that he doesn’t hear the door open or the quiet footsteps of the warlock over to his bed. He doesn’t hear Alec at the door, asking if he’s alright or Magnus telling him to give him space.  Jace only notices he isn’t alone when Magnus touches his shoulder gently.  He flinches away from the soft touch at first before relaxing a bit even though his cheeks heat up.  

“I brought you something for pain,” Magnus says softly as he hands him a vial of a purple potion that Jace vaguely recognizes as what he’s been taking the last few days.  He takes it with a shaking hand and downs it in one gulp, trying to keep a straight face at the awful taste.  Magnus swings his feet up on the bed and reclines against the pillows.

“What are you doing?” Jace asks in confusion.  “Alec is waiting for you out there.”

“Actually he’s here to see you,” Magnus corrects him mildly as he clicks his fingers to make a television appear at the foot of the bed, rising from the dresser effortlessly.  “I told him you needed some space for a while.  He’ll come back in the morning.”

“He isn’t living here yet?” Jace asks with a touch of bitterness as he curls into himself.  He really wants to be alone so he can feel this pain and have it be over with.  He feels the sobs wanting to rise again as he thinks about Alec living here with the warlock.  Kissing him and loving him and showing him the smile he had only ever shown himself and Izzy in the past.  

“Why would he be living here?” Magnus asks with his brows furrowing and confusion on his face.  “Blondie, what do you think is between your brother and I?”

“He’s in love with you.” Jace tries not to choke on the words, but the tears were still pressing and they slipped down his nose as he ducked his head and tried to make them stop before Magnus saw how weak he was.  

“Oh Jace,” Magnus says softly and the sheets rustle as he lays a hand on Jace’s bare back and guides him to lay down.  Jace isn’t strong enough yet to fight him off but he lets out a whine as Magnus shuffles closer and puts his arms around him.  He likes Magnus well enough, but only Alec had ever held him.  Only Alec had ever seen him cry.  He wants to tell Magnus to tell Alec to come back, but at the same time he isn’t ready to see Alec yet.  He doesn’t know how to be around Alec yet, when thoughts of him were the only thing keeping him sane on Valentine’s torture ship.  Magnus is rubbing his back softly and it all felt so wrong that all he wanted was Alec, but he couldn’t very well tell Alec what was causing his sobs and he hated lying to his parabatai.  “Jace, darling, I’m not dating your brother.”

“What?” Jace hiccuped softly as he was trying to stop crying, honestly he was.  His body just didn’t want to cooperate.  The medicine always worked quickly to make him quite out of it and his body quickly relaxed into Magnus’s warmth.  

“I’m not dating your brother,’ Magnus says again, but it didn’t make any more sense than the first time he said it.  

“You kissed himi at the wedding.  You.. you two like each other?” Jace says, though he wasn’t so sure this time.  

“I did kiss him,” Magnus agrees, seemingly happier now that he was calm and laying against him.  “That doesn’t mean we’re in love.  Alexander is a surprisngly good actor.”  Jace felt his own face contort in confusion.  “Jace, your brother and I became friends months ago, good friends rather quickly.  I am attracted to your brother, but he only has eyes for you.  It was quickly obvious that he was crazy about you and that’s what the memory demon told him as well.  He was confused and upset, but never attracted to me.  I couldn’t let him marry Lydia like that when he didn’t love her.  I showed up to stop the wedding, without much of a plan in mind if I’m being honest.  Your brother took it from there and kissed me quite thoroughly.  You’re a lucky man Mr. Herondale.”

“Alec loves me?” Jace mumbles as the medicine was taking over his will to stay awake and participate in this conversation fully.  “He really loves me?”

“He really does,” Magnus agrees as he turns on the TV, but didn’t move from holding Jace close.  Unfortunate Jace slips into sleep before he can think too much on that conversation.

~~

Jace hasn’t brought himself to talk to Alec still, even after he knows how Alec feels.  The fact that he returns his feelings is great, truly great.  There was still so many things to consider before they got a happily ever after.  There was the parabatai part of it which made it forbidden, and the fact that the Clave was not as progressive as they all may be.  Nobody would accept it and it would be an uphill battle from the very start.  Magnus keeps giving him disapproving looks for not so much as talking to Alec yet after weeks since they had spoken in the guest bedroom.  They were back to business as usual at the Institute, and Jace lets himself be comforted by routine.  

He never expects to see Alec up on the roof about to jump off.

He knows Alec has been hurting and confused thanks to the rune on his hip, but not to this extent.  Not enough to end his life.  Magnus told them it was all only due to a spell, but Jace didn’t believe it for a second as he sees Alec sitting on the floor crying and hiding his face in his hands with Magnus sitting at his side.  Jace feels unbelievable guilt as Magnus dismisses his sister, Clary, and his mother easily by saying Alec was having some emotional reaction to the spell.  Jace finds he can’t move, not with Alec in this state.  

“Shh, darling, you’re okay,’ Magnus says soothingly and Jace wonders how the hell he is so good at that.  How can be be better at comforting Alec than he is?  Alec was the other half of his soul and still Jace can’t find words to say.  

“I can’t anymore Magnus,’ Alec sobs softly and the words break Jace’s heart further.  “I can’t feel like this anymore.  I can’t feel this for him.”

“You won’t forever,” Magnus promises him with a kiss to his head.  Jace shifts awkwardly and the glare was unmatched by anything he’d seen before as Magnus looked over at him.   “I thought I told everyone that Alec and I needed a moment alone.”

“I can’t leave,’ Jace says in a voice barely above a whisper as he hugs his arms around himself.  “I can’t leave him like this.  I...  I want to talk to him.”

“Oh, now you want to talk to him?” Magnus asks scathingly, and it’s no less than what he absolutely deserves

“It’s okay,” Alec says.  His face was now dry of tears but the look in his hazel eyes told Jace this was far from the first time Alec had cried over this.  He bites at his lips and slowly walks forward so he can sit next to Alec against the low wall that Alec was standing on just a minute ago.  “Magnus, it’s okay.  Let me talk to Jace.”

“I’ll be right outside,’ Magnus squeezed his arm gently before gracefully and smoothly getting to his feet and leaving them alone on the roof.  The silence is a heavy one as they sit for a minute and let the wind be the only noise between them.

“This isn’t about the spell,” Jace says quietly as he feels the ache through his bond worsen a little as they sit here.  He has no idea if touching Alec will hurt or help in this situation.  They had been avoiding this moment for over six years and now it was here.  Jace has to just tell him how he feels, has to let him know that Alec isn’t alone in this.  He needs to stop holding them both back from what they want.  

“It isn’t,” Alec agrees quietly, his voice hitching on sobs still in his throat.  “I… I haven’t been okay for a while.”

“I know,” Jace says quietly.  He’s felt Alec’s anguish and decided to ignore it.  It was easier than trying to confront all these feelings between them that neither of them asked to feel, but had attacked them relentlessly anyways.   “I should have….well, I should have done something.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Alec says miserably as he stares at his knees again.  “I… I have to figure out how to live with this.  I’m sorry that I feel like this.  It isn’t right or normal and I know it’s forbidden.  I can’t lose you, not like my father lost his parabatai-”

“Alec, come on, I”m not like your asshole of a father,’ Jace cut in and he stopped the barriers that they both put up to grip his arm and letting his hand trail down to Alec’s to squeeze it tightly.  “I’m nothing like that and you’re never going to lose me.  Not even if the rumors about me and Clary were true and I was madly in love with her.”  They shared a grin at the ridiculous thought that Clary could be with him when she was so obsessed with their sister.  “Alec… You’re my parabatai.  You’re the most important person in the world to me.  I.  Alec, you’re not alone in this.  You will never be alone, but you aren’t the only one who feels this way.”

“What?” Alec was staring at him with a blank expression and with tentative hope in his eyes.  “Jace… do you know what you’re-”

“I’ve known for over six years,’ Jace says and his heart is pounding in his ears.  He looks at Alec and instead of the nerves getting worse they slowly calmed.  This was Alec, his best friend.  This was the person he had come to trust with all his secrets and all his fears.  Alec had never let him be alone, even when he deserved it.  Magnus had told him weeks ago that Alec was in love with him and right now Jace has no idea what had taken him so long to just sit here and look at Alec exactly like this.  Look at Alec the way he deserved to be looked at the rest of his life, as if he had hung the moon.  “I’m in love with you Alexander Lightwood.  I don’t care if it destroys me, but you would never do that.”

“I never would,’ Alec agrees as he places a hand on Jace’s cheek and the blonde can feel it trembling against his skin.  “I love you Jace, i”m in love with you.  I have been for what feels like forever.”

“I should have done this so fucking long ago,” Jace mumbles as he finally lets his lips crash on Alec’s like some kind of tidal wave.  He kisses Alec like that boy has always deserved to be kissed.  It’s rough and hurried and messy and somehow perfect.  Alec smells like home and Jace can feel their hearts beat as one as one hand rests on the side of Alec’s neck and the other is on his waist.  

He finally kisses Alec Lightwood, and nothing has ever felt so right.  

[yureimori]

get to know me tag! i got tagged by @random-hylian yeehaw rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

@hero-of-thighs @phillozophy @welcometofeelstowneveryonesdead @ureshiibri @ka-lada @anime-suckx @spoiledspine @notsosilentprincess @zeldaofhyrule @mewtyn @czat @mikey-hunter @circulargoat @assipattle

im sorry that’s not 20 but i can’t think of anyone else,, (oh and if anyone i tagged doesn’t want to do this it is a-ok my dude)

also gonna put this under the cut bc wowie that’s a lot of text

THE LAST: 1. Drink: agua  2. Phone call: mmmm i think it was one of my friends 3. Text message: my mom 4. Song you listened to: gerudo valley theme 5. Time you cried: im probably crying as i write this tbh HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. Been cheated on: nope 9. Lost someone special: yeah (some through death and some because like.. they moved away. also my dog) 10. Been depressed : bihf im always depressed 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: light blue, peach, and lavander IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yee

16. Fallen out of love: no

17. Laughed until you cried: yes yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: ??? does it count of like i walked into a room and someone was like ‘oh hey we were just talking abt you’

19. Met someone who changed you: idk,,

20. Found out who your friends are: whta does this mean

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: uhhh,, i kissed my mom on the cheek

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them bc my only friends on there are family

23. Do you have any pets: a wONDerFUl cat

24. Do you want to change your name: maybe but i dunno

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i just chilled at home and talked to some nerds

26. What time did you wake up: once at 7, then 9, then 10 rip

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: talking on skype with @phillozophy and @welcometofeelstowneveryonesdead abt how i was gonna fuck a spider

28. Name something you can’t wait for: im going to a very small local con with some friends in august so that’ll be fun

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: like two seconds ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: ahhhhhh i’d like to change a lot of things,,, maybe not look so feminine

31. What are you listening to right now: animal crossing new leaf music

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: my uncle

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ppl telling me to stop being quiet/shy/etc. oh and ‘you wouldn’t be so depressed if you had a better attitude and smiled more!!’

34. Most visited website: this hellsite and yoot-toob

35. Mole/s: none i think

36. Mark/s: i have some scars on my ankles 

37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a tailor

38. Hair color: darkish brown but it’s bleached currently

39. Long or short hair: shorttt

40. Do you have a crush on someone: my man feelings are confusing and i can’t tell if i just get strong platonic feeling or chill romantic feelings

41. What do you like about yourself: hhhhhhhhh i think my eyebrows are cool

42. Piercings: nah

43. Blood type: i,,,, i don’t know

44. Nickname: li and yurei 

45. Relationship status: single

46. Zodiac: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

47. Pronouns: i like to use they/them mostly

48. Favorite TV Show(s): sTEVEN UNIVERSE YEEEAAAA

49. Tattoos: don’t have any but maybe in the future

50. Right or left hand: right handed

51. Surgery: yes but im not gonna get into it

52. Hair dyed in different color: i tried dying my hair pink but it washed out after like, a day. i might try to do blue soon, though

53. Sport: i can stare blankly at my ceiling for 3 hours

55. Vacation: most recent one was in new jersey like maybe 2, 3 years ago

56. Pair of trainers: i thought this meant training wheels  MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: i had a sandwich an hour ago 58. Drinking: i haven’t had any liquid all day whoops,, 59. I’m about to: i wanna play animal crossing or skyward sword rlly badly 61. Waiting for: death am i rite kids haha 62. Want: m kinda wanting chicken nuggets tbh 63. Get married: mm probably not but who knows 64. Career: i want to be an illustrator or maybe a storyboard artist 

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs they are warm and soft yes good good 66. Lips or eyes: yOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR  E Y E S 67. Shorter or taller: both are good 68. Older or younger: maybe younger?? 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: probably stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: mm both 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: also both as long as trouble isn’t like,, gonna hurt someone bad HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: no 75. Drank hard liquor: my brother gave me a baby spoon of pumpkin beer once and it was actaully disgusting 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: all the time 77. Turned someone down: ye 78. Sex on the first date: no 79. Broken someone’s heart: i hope not 80. Had your heart broken: no 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: i might get teary eyed but of someone dies i just kinda feel numb 83. Fallen for a friend: maybe im not sure

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: hell no 85. Miracles: ye 86. Love at first sight: no 87. Santa Claus: nah 88. Kiss on the first date: depends?? maybe??? first date seems kinda soon

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: aaaaAAAAA HEATHER RANDI LOZY LILY AND CODA I DON’T CARE IF THAT’S TOO MANY BEST FRIENDS I LOVE ALL OF THEM SO MUCHSAADFVBGNH 91. Eye color: greyish blue 92. Favorite movie: howl’s!! moving!! castle!!!!!!

[tandembicycles]

YOU'D WANT TO SEE-!!! Im! Oh gosh! At some point sure!! Me being an anon isn't because I want to be completely unknown. I'm just awful at talking to people, and talking as an anon is just less stressful for me usually. I eventually end up sending asks with my account. It just takes a while for me to work up the nerve. xD Odds are my blog has shown up in your notes a few times already actaully, since I also really like the tired dad and the stuff you post is pretty dang good.

I'm just kinda weird when it comes to talking to people I think. Like, I have a mutual who I have a messenger thread with, and have played Overwatch with the voice chat, but I still sometimes send asks instead of messages, public or rarely as an anon 

(I’m assuming this is the same anon)

You don’t have to provide me a reason for staying on anon, you do what makes you comfortable. If one day you want to give yourself your identity, so be it, but I understand the comfort anonymity provides. Makes things easier for you and makes you less anxious. 

Of course I’d like to see! If you want to show it you can submit it! Open an incognito chrome browser that’ll have you logged out of tumblr and submit a picture, you just have to provide an email and you can make something stupid up like disbussylmao@yahoo.com, like it doesn’t matter and I won’t know who you are. IF. You want to show your stuff, I don’t mean to pressure you. And if you do want to show it, I won’t post it, that’s your personal stuff. 

I’m sure your blog has shown up, I’m normally pretty good at recognizing urls/icons (unless they change it then well whoops). TIRED DAD. OMG. He my husband tho. Mhm, mhm. OH GOSH THANK YOU. I’m glad you like my unorganized shitshow.