#this was a speedrun in 30 minutes before my class began

[rileyclaw]

@purplenoir-week day 4: purr. look up tigers chuffing for free serotonin it is a Very fun sound

[olympus-summit]

On Blast || Ryu || Re: Results, Everyone || ATT: everyone

The votes were counted, and to no one's shock it was Ryu selected to be executed. Many tried to annoy him with loopholes or fake guilt over ending him, but at the end of the day, common sense prevailed. He could at least smile at that detail, even while the Fates attempted to mock him

"And with that, it appears as though it is time to go. Please, do your best to contain your tears. Even if they are of joy" he said jokingly, rising from his throne to take in everyone's expressions. It was funny; the lead up to all of this left him numb, but now knowing he'd be leaving, and leaving with this much impact nonetheless was enough to return some joy to him. Not enough to make him fear his demise, but enough to have one last bit of fun before his departure. First came answers though, of course. He turned to Shinobu with a smirk on his face

"Hm...I'd say this is what I truly want at this point. I suppose if I have any last requests, it's that none of you ever forget me. And naturally, give me a minute to speak my last words"

Ryu cleared his throat and paused. Being put in this situation, it almost felt triumphant despite all the shame and failure bubbling underneath. This was his moment though, his grand speech. He had the power to do whatever he wanted at this moment

"Originally, I planned on making a speech; choosing my last words days before they were heard. Listening to all of you though, I realized leaving on such a graceful note would be a sign of respect. Respect has always been the most important thing to me, which is why I can confidently state that I will leave without a shred of it towards anyone. As such, why bother with formalities. Fear not, I will give you the honesty so many of you have wished from me, but I will not be doing it with respect~"

What did that even mean? Without another word, Ryu moved, only to stop as his neighbor's throne. Menai's throne

"Having a bodyguard as skilled as my dearest friend Ayame, I've always doubted the abilities of others with the same profession. I can see why now, given your inability to hide your own bias and commit to your job. Wish I could see you snap at someone else when they eventually hurt those little feelings you attempt to hide"

He made his way to each and every throne in a clockwise path, having a comment in mind for everyone. He didn't care if his remarks were seen as immature anymore. There was no need to word them correctly

"What can I say about you but….meh? Grow some skin, I suppose"

He skipped Sabine's and Nezumi's, as expected

"I really wanted to respect you and your little girl group. It really seems as though you only care about the act of being tough though. Not the reasoning for being so"

"...With you? Well, I said I would be honest; I can say that I genuinely liked you a lot at first. Our honeymoon phase began to fade as I realized that you're biased though, despite your efforts not to be. Still hot though~!"

"You've...mildly grown on me. Like a tumor. How I wished you would've taken my advice and toughen up somewhat though, for fuck's sake. So...I guess no more looking forward to our cooking classes"

"Oh Shinobu, I don't know why you continue to try and speak knowing very well everyone simply wishes to see me die as soon as possible. Thank you for promoting this! You...were okayish"

"My ex friend! Yes, I did genuinely consider you a friend, Mitsu, and it pains me that one little charred orphanage tore that appart. You have to maintain those strong opinions though, I suppose"

At Rusty's podium, he stayed quiet and stared, much like the archaeologist always did to him. As soon as he made it to Setsuna's, a chuckle escaped him

"Hey Setsu, remember me? It's Ryu! Now, don't overthink attempting to get the name down. I'm just about to leave anyway"

"...No comment. You actually weren't that bad"

"Until this trial, I saw you nothing more as cannon fodder, Tenko. Now...now I have to say, you're fairly skilled. Try not to fall in your best friend's footprints"

At Leland's podium, he went silent for a moment, his expression softening…

Only to be replaced by the default grin within a second

"See his notes" Ryu said with a wink as he pointed to Sol. With that out the way, he was faced with Adelina and Evren

"Oh my, it appears as though I saved the best for last, haven't I? What a coincidence. Anyhow, first up is you, doctor. I know very well you didn't take me seriously before the reveal of my secret. I was an annoying, immature nuisance and nothing else. How pleased it makes me that you seemed to grow quieter after my reveal. It shows me that you only enjoy the truth when it is convenient or pleases you. And speaking of hypocrisy, Evren!~"

Ryu sharply turned towards him, his smirk taking on hints of a snarl

"I've told you this before, but you remind me of my dearest sister, Chi Chi. I'm sure with context it now sounds disturbing, but what's just a little more? She was obsessed with the concept of justice, to the point where she killed over 30 individuals including our father and his colleagues, all because she didn't approve of their work. Hearing about your hitmen only confirmed to me that you're as pathetic as she is, and I can't wait to see the look on your face when you inevitably bump into me in hell~"

And with that, he turned and looked at everyone casually

"Let's see, was that everyone….Oh! Yes, our beloved leaders, how could I forget. Allow me to speedrun that one. Useless, useless, and you~" he added on, pointing to Clotho, then Lachesis, then Atropos

"You no longer have power over me, doll. Nothing you do or say can make me feel uneasy. Have fun with that knowledge"

With everyone out of the day, he strolled confidently towards Charon, satisfied with his work. If that wasn't a moment to go out on, then he didn't know what was

"You must be excited. Well, let's hurry it up now, it isn't everyday your trusted to do something of use"

Before he truly went though, he turned to his peers one last time. His previous smirk was replaced with a pained grin; something that was genuine. Was there anything else he should say at the moment

"...So long, dolls!~"

If that wasn't a fitting goodbye, then he didn't know what was.

[snekwrites]

[WP] The military is pulling out its last evac center on the other side of the state in 30 minutes. You claim you'll be there in 7. You are about to attempt to speedrun the zombie apocalypse.

"Alright," I told the GoPRO mounted on my helmet, "Here's the deal. I have half an hour to get from North Kingstown to Providence. I told them I'd be there in seven minutes, and here's how it's gonna work."

I started my pickup truck, holding my rifle in my left hand and taking the steering wheel in my right.

"I know, for a fact, that there are exactly four military blockades between here and there." I kicked it into reverse, flying out of the garage and plowing a zombie, before throwing it into gear. "Now, normally, an automatic transmission would be vastly superior if I'm only driving with one arm. However..." I changed gears, momentarily letting go of the wheel. "You get better zero to sixty and a higher mileage, and since I only had time to put three-quarters of a gallon in, I'll need everything I can get."

I broke through my neighbor's fence; a zombie clung to the windshield, and I quickly ran through a second fence, dislodging him.

"Now, it's important not to waste bullets here. I only packed eight, and I need two per blockade to knock it low enough to run over." I curbed a turn, leading to the highway entrance. "Speaking of the blockade, I'll need quiet time for this..." I floored the gas, holding the rifle out the window. First shot fired, and hit; I cycled the bolt, bracing the gun against the car door, and fired the second shot. The barricade crumbled as I ran through it.

"Nice! First try!" I sped along I-95, carefully weaving around the stalled and discarded vehicles. The only zombies along the road shambled slowly, never coming close. "Now, this looks pretty easy, but it's actually--" I swung a hard turn, hitting the handbrake to squeeze through a very tight gap. "Pretty difficult. I just know the route really well, since I make it every morning on my commute."

I came upon the second blockade; I could see it in the distance. I held the rifle out the window and fired; a perfect shot. I braced it against the car door to cycle the bolt but dropped it.

"Shit. Oh well, I have backup strats. Baby strats, they're much safer." I slammed the gas pedal and quickly took off. My new target: the sports car stalled facing the wrong way. I carefully aimed for the corner, and struck it; the shallow incline of the front of the car sent me flipping through the air; I just barely cleared a nearly truck-shaped gap with inches to spare, landing less than gracefully on the other side. "Nice, barely cleared it. If you're wondering why I didn't stop to pick up the rifle, it's because doing so would have wasted twenty seconds on this route."

A group of zombies stood idly, blocking the path; I ran through the smallest pack. Blood and viscera covered the windshield, blocking my sight. I turned on my wipers, only successfully clearing a small patch.

"Damn, RNG dicked me." I stuck my head out the window. "Now, this is risky strats, but it's faster than the moonroof." I passed the third barricade by riding up the hill before the bridge and jumping the gap. Although the back bumper came off, I was safe.

"Now, this is going to be the hardest barricade of all, and after that, the easy part of the run is over. Any number of things can go wrong here since I'll have to scale that pile of corpses over there. If I lose traction, or if the pile isn't stable, I'll flip, and could die." I braked hard just before the pile, slowly traversing it. I climbed, and bodies began to fall away. Just as I came to the top, my truck began to flip. In the blink of an eye, I undid my seatbelt, climbing out the passenger window, and grabbing onto the lip of the barricade. "Now, ditching the truck here only loses about twelve seconds, since I'll have to be without it for the rest of my run. Thankfully, there are alternate strats here."

I hoisted myself up, jumping on the broken portions of the building to climb up. Once I reached the last climbable piece, I used my helmet to shatter the window adjacent and entered the office complex on its thirteenth floor.

"Now normally, the faster zeds love hanging out on the thirteenth floors of buildings. That means that this area would prove extremely dangerous to any casual, but I'm a professional. I've taken parkour classes." One of the undead sprinted at me, but I vaulted over, throwing him out the window. "If I'm lucky, one of them will have--there's one!" I ran up and pulled out the knife from a zombie's gut, quickly dispatching them with it. "Normally, a knife is really good for close quarters combat, but that was the only time I'll ever use it for that. I need the knife to break safety glass on the sixteenth floor."

I sprinted for the elevator, whose doors were already open. I jumped to the ceiling panel, pulling myself up.

"I'm sure you'll wonder why I'm not taking the stairs. They're covered in debris, and those are baby strats; this shaves off a whole seven seconds from my run." I grabbed the cable and began sawing through with the knife. The steel did not easily give, but in the end, the cable snapped, careening me towards the ceiling. Before that could happen, I let go. My momentum carried me up and through the open doors on the sixteenth floor. From there, I ran to the larger windows lining the exterior wall. Holding the knife in hand, I stabbed and slammed the safety glass, just barely breaking through. I fell for a split second, before landing on the adjacent roof.

"Alright, we're almost at the end, here. All I have to do is not get hit by the bandits and their sniper fire from the high-rises, and we're home-free." Right on cue, gunshots sounded through the air, and small dents in the gravel beside me began to form. I weaved left and right, narrowly avoiding the bullets. Just before I reached the end of the building, ready to jump, a bullet hit my shoulder; it struck the joint, severing my arm. "That's fine, I have two of those. I can afford tank a few bullets here."

I jumped off, landing on the hospital's helipad, rolling to avoid injuring myself. I sprinted to the far end, where a helicopter waited.

"Time!" I shouted. One of the personnel casually checked his phone.

"Six minutes, fifty-seven seconds."

I gave a celebratory fist pump with my one arm. Why wouldn't I? After all, I just set a new world record.