#this was a fun little experiment and i kind of like how it turned out :]
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bearhaironthechair ¡ 1 day ago
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I can absolutely picture Blitz & Bee with an ant-like insecticon kid. And they teach the kid how to fuck with Sentinal. Among other various crimes
This may or may not have plagued my mind...
HAH! Any offspring of those two would hold Sentinel in as high a regard as you would hold for a pebble in your shoe! And, yes, the kid would inherit the worst "I'm just doing this for sh*ts and giggles, and to Hell with the consequences" tendencies of both their parents whenever they felt even remotely personally slighted! With that in mind, I imagine Blitzwing would absolutely adore any child they'd have, and he'd cry three faces worth of proud tears to learn his little ant could turn into a literal ant. The kid might experience more than their due share of deeply insecure moments based on their parents' histories and their own alt-mode, but Blitzwing and Bumblebee - as a result of battling with these feelings throughout their lives - would raise the kid with an unwavering sense of self-worth and individuality. In most regards, the child would probably be very family oriented and helpful around the home, much like an ant to its colony, but any snide remarks from Sentinel or other self-entitled elites about the kid or their parents would soon result with several angry scorpions in the offender's kitchen drawers, and front door knobs wired to car batteries from the outside.
You have my apologies that this hypothetical has been chewing on your brain's poor gray matter. It really has became a cognitive parasite of sorts. The worm is mighty and bites down hard. (Personal sentiments ahead, feel free to disregard): Speaking of brain worms, more often than not, I think on how what was once a joke I made in digitally-drawn passing a few times because it made me laugh has become known by, like, 200 people. I am seeing people reblog my nonsense doodles and use the "Blitzwing the Myrmecologist" tag on their OWN pages. I am chatting with people about the potential character interactions between Blitzwing and other main TFA characters as prompted by his fondness of ants and what the other characters might think of it. I even have people basically asking me if Blitzwing would like any other kinds of bugs as if I am the "final word" on the matter! And every time I agree he would because I WANT people to have fun with this, and for them TO KNOW that I want them to have fun with it! And ALL of this relentless brain worm in reference has been wonderful in so many ways! I LOVE how much of a shared joke this has become, and I get such a kick out of reading funny reblog tags and responding to people's equally witty comments, including yours! Sure this whole nonsense may be almost obnoxious in how much of my own headspace it takes up, but the objective fun and camaraderie I have experienced as a result of it makes every little pixel of a drawing or typed response more than worth it! After all, the best kind of joke is one worth sharing!
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goomyloid ¡ 2 days ago
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I WAS LISTENING TO YOUR KRISELLE PLAYLIST WHILE WORKING OUT AND AFTER ALL BOPPY VOCALOIDS, SUDDENLY, I WAS HIT WITH SAINT-SAENS?????
AND MY VIOLIN BIASED BRAIN BECAUSE MY FAV AUNT PLAYS VIOLIN WENT "WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT". MAYBE IT'S THERE BY ACCIDENT OR BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T HAD SEPARATE PLAYLIST FOR THAT BUT IT KNOCKED AIR OUT OF MY LUNGS AND I ACTUALLY FACE PLANTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PUSH UP.
If it is not by accident, please tell me you think it'd be adorable if Noelle played violin so she could play together with Kris in a duet, please. I was thinking it'd turn out Noelle plays some instrument in the end, BUT SHE DOESN'T ಥ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ಥ
This fact actually made this vision even more fun to me, because like, I want to write a fic about my AU where Kris is natural music prodigy who doesn't want to play on big public and wants to play only for themselves or close ones, and Noelle is that one girl who wants to play DESPERATELY (because Dess and Kris were around her her whole childhood and she's definitely a bit autistic about that) but ends up playing only by the book and taking it too seriously. They both are confused about each other's opinion on music but at the same time respect (and kind of more, but shhhh, they're in denial) each other a lot since childhood.
I'm... Also very sorry for info dumping allat... I immediately went to write that after hearing the song... I'm so sorry for the caps, but I don't want to rewrite that, I think it shows my shocked state very well...
eheheh yupp��� all that vocaloid and then these
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(stroking my beard) you must be new here i wonder… i have a fic that goes into depth about the idea, with noelle always kind of wanting to learn violin to play a duet with kris but just was never able to due to Life and her mother
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with the new chapters making it clear noelle likes to sing, though, i dont think a duet is out of the question in canon. everyone says over and over how they wish kris would join the church choir playing piano, noelle especially (she thinks about it a lot, like if you give her the rhapsotea she comments on it for example)
its been years but kris playing the piano for noelle alone makes me so ill still. kris playing the piano at ALL makes me ill. i used to be a violinist so i have a little experience getting really into playing an instrument & having the music you play feel important…
also unrelated but i havent seen hardly anyone mention it, did no one else freak out when the kris piano mp3 from the sweepstakes started playing after they played the organ in chapter 4?!?! anyone?!?!?!? because i was squealing like a piglet when it happened……. i was like OH MY GODD ITS THE CONCERT ITS THE CONCERT!!!!!!
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fairyhoohoo ¡ 3 days ago
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“ all fun til it's not ”
prompt: smosh throws a summer games themed challenge pit , however courtney gets hurt in the final challenge. cue angst then hurt/comfort fluff.
pairings: shourtney
i saw the fandom wanted more post-hard launch shourtney fics and welll 👉🏻👈🏻 first time writing rpf , be kind.
she/they pronouns for courtney obviously
protective shayne goodness.
read below
challenge pit was usually fun and exhilarating for courtney , for them it was like a bonding experience with her co -
no, that didn't feel right .
they were family now.
she was excited for this episode. emily had the idea of taking it outdoors, recreating smosh summer games a little bit for the viewers who yearned for it , the fans deserved something after having their hopes crushed after all.
courtney was on a designated team with arasha and angela, shayne, chanse and tommy on the other.
the first two games went by seamlessly, a lot of compilation - worthy laughing fits that courtney was apart of - especially after a comment angela made towards chanse that left courtney, arasha, tommy, chanse himself , angela, and shayne in tears laughing so hard.
the final game brought back ' we blew it ' memories for courtney. it was inflatable wipeout, except the steps were much more spread apart. on camera, it seemed easy due to courtney's flawless run but in reality, it was a lot more difficult than it looked on camera for courtney .
she hoped she had the same luck like they did back then
courtney looks up from their feet when feeling a gentle yet strong, familiar hand placed on their lower back and turns to shayne , who was planted right behind her. courtney gives him a warm reassuring smile, and he immediately returned it.
“ you okay? ” he asked.
“ just fine , it brings back memories, remember we blew it?” she mused.
“ oh, one hundred percent. ” he nods.
hushed whispers exchanged between them before she grins and turns back around to angela who had just finished giving the instructions.
“ whose up first ? ” angela inquired, looking around .
courtney immediately raised their hand , taking a step forward
“ let a pro show you how it's done.” a dramatic flip of her hair had everyone laugh
“ go courtney ! ” chanse clapped , arasha holding on to her shoulders.
courtney's eyes flicker to their husband who looked encouraging but they immediately clocked it, he was nervous. she gave him a thumbs up, assuring him but he just tersely nods, his hands tightly glued together.
they exchanged a silent glance before courtney climbed on top of the inflatable. she heard emily count and as soon as ' one ' was shouted , courtney's body ran on pure adrenaline.
one balloon, two balloon , three balloon all completed successfully but the fourth one..
the fourth one was when the world seemed to stop. courtney's foot slipped and their heart dropped, trying to balance themselves but it was far too late.
courtney lurched forward and her entire body rammed into the fourth balloon. the sheer force was so strong it bounced them back not only just onto the floor of the bounce house but outside the barrier.
they hit the ground , hard. pain shot up through their abdomen and hips, stars dancing courtney's vision.
angela was the first one to scream in panic, her voice cracking with the sheer amount of panic as she sprung into action.
“ CUT THE CAMERAS, NOW. ”
courtney could barely process as tears leaked down their cheeks, trying to catch her breath. the wind was knocked out of them, pain flared. it felt like hours but the pain lasted for almost a minute.
through her tears, courtney could immediately see shayne's horrified and pale face hover before he lifts them into his arms extra gently. he's shaking . . . courtney could feel it as he brushes strands of hair away from their cheeks.
“ court, it's okay. i've got you.” shayne's voice was thick of emotion , tears lurking beneath the cracks.
courtney wanted nothing more than to hold him, tell him they're okay but the scare overwhelmed her.
she swallowed down a soft sob, finally getting air back into their lungs as emily and bailey came running , ready to call 911 but courtney immediately shakes her head.
“ d-don't. i'm okay. nothing shattered. i think it's just gonna leave painful bruises.” courtney muttered , her head resting against shayne's shoulder.
“ we absolutely need to get you checked out, courtney.” tommy was firm, kneeling infront of them.
courtney opened her mouth but relented , looking up at shayne, seeing he was silent.
courtney stared into their husband's eyes, he was pale faced still, eyes glistening and jaw set tightly.
she cupped his cheek before nodding. emily went ahead and let the medics pass by to examine courtney.
they determined it wasn't too dangerous of a fall, the height wasn't big enough to cause internal damages.
just painful bruising and lots of bedrest were the instructions. emily and especially shayne, thanked them.
shayne helped courtney sit up more, arms wrapping around their waist before standing
courtney's exhaustion seeped in, angela and arasha were grabbing courtney's stuff, chanse helping them.
“ we're going back to the studio, then immediately home.” shayne firmly instructed to the others.
he didn't let go of courtney once, keeping his arms wound tightly around his wife.
courtney nods , feeling blessed they had such an amazing group of people taking care of them .
yeah, they were family.
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uncanny-tranny ¡ 2 years ago
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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.
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lustrecannon ¡ 2 years ago
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fuck it. formal time
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kozachenko ¡ 3 months ago
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Shortly after that Zanmu drawing, I went on an art spree and made small little drawings of a majority of the current playable characters in Touhou (I've been procrastinating on drawing Aya and Ran) and finally gave myself refernce points for how to draw all these characters going forward! Also, don't mind the change in background colour, that's just me changing the background so the values are actually visible lol.
Artist's Notes;
So the first one I started with was Reimu, and the inspiration for her pose came from this pose reference on Pinterest of a girl doing ribbon dancing, and I thought "Damn, that's very Reimu-coded" and did a quick little Reimu drawing from that.
This was also the drawing where I finally learned what makes a Reimu drawing feel like Reimu. It's the shirt, it's literally just the shirt. I decided to try making Reimu's shirt have a stronger square shape and oh my god it's like I discovered some kind of secret sauce because it just feels so much more like Reimu. I also gave Reimu a tabard and loose pants because I felt like that also fit her very well and also tied in some element's of Yukari's design into hers. I also made her bow look more like a very geometric butterfly as a bit of a tie in to "Diochromatic Lotus Butterfly" and also because I think butterfly symbolism fits her a lot. I also left the hands unfinished because they are not the focus of this piece, Reimu is, I don't wanna cry over how I can't get the hands right and then never get to the actually fun parts of the drawing. Previously, I did some design experimentation with Reimu where I added a little ornament on her obi that was inspired by Yuna's design from Final Fantasy 10 (I can't remember if I ever posted that one lol, also FFX is so good you guys I love it so much) and I like it, I think it adds some fun assymetry to her design that I think makes it look neat. I also gave her some more traditional Japanese shoes (I don't know the name of them so please correct me if you know) since I've seen other artists doing it and I love that look so I added that to this drawing as well.
I also really like how Marisa turned out, I experimented a bit with her body type and outfit, though I didn't really go too off-model with her compared to Reimu. I liked the longer sleeves on her and I gave her a big bow on the back of her apron since I thought it looked cute. I couldn't find a spot for the bow on her hat that looked good so sadly that isn't present in this version of her :( I do like how her face turned out though, since I've also been experimenting with how differently stylized I can make faces in my art. I will always love mangas like Hunter X Hunter that can put two extremely differently stylized characters on the same panel and make it look cohesive, it's why I love the style so much.
I think the crulest irony is not being able to draw your favourite character well while you're hyperfixating on them, but then only being able to draw them how you picture them once they're no longer your favourite, and that happened with Sakuya here. I was initially gonna give her the flashiest eyeshadow known to man but when I removed the layer wih the eyeshadow rendering on it I ended up liking it more without it, so now she's just got some nice bottom lashes. I tried giving her more of an hourglass shape for her body type, mainly to differentiate her more from Reimu and Marisa, and I focused on making as many points in her drawing as sharp as I can. I also gave her some white gloves because I like the idea of Sakuya having fancy gloves, it fits her. To me, Sakuya has always been the most high femme of the main Touhou characters. Maybe this is just because she was my gay awakening, maybe it's just influence from the fandom, but it just kind of makes sense to me. Much like Marisa, I also emphasized the bow ribbons for extra oomph with the silhouette and when I added the red bows and looked at the overall design, I fixed the lack of red anywhere else by just... covering her in blood... I mean she does work for two vampires and she's exactly the sanest person in Gensokyo so please pardon my indulgence in edginess it couldn't be helped.
Youmu was really fun to do but also kinda challenging. In my mind I wanted to make her feel different compared to everyone else I've drawn so far, short enough to be somewhat accurate to canon, but not too childish looking since she never really acts all that childish in cannon and it wouldn't make sense for her to look like a child. I also had to make her look fast and speedy without her looking like Sakuya and potentially avoiding same body syndrome with Aya, who's whole gimmick is speed. In the end, I think her drawing is my favourite, mainly because of the shapes and silhouette. I also really like how I golden-ratioed myon. I also took a few liberties with her outfit and decided to give it some layers to add visual interest. I also like how the cuts in the clothing add more triangles, which adds to the shape language. For her face, I was wondering what to do with her eyes until I decided to just go for the simple, glowing, circular eyes she has in the final product. I was also listening to a bunch of Gorrilaz albums while drawing these (Demon Days is my favourite album btw, idk how basic of a take that is though) and my brain 100% was subconsciously influenced by some elements of the art style (it's so good omg). I also like the shade of green I gave her, though I am a certified green lover so I am 100% biased.
Reisen is where I let myself get a little weird with it, because as you can see, I turned her into an anthropomorphic bunny because she is a weird moon rabbit god dammit, why should she look normal? I was more excited about drawing her IN design than her modern design so that's why she's dressed like that, but I do have a sketch of her in my sketchbook of her modern design. I also had fun rendering her velvet suit jacket. This also helped me tie in some of the reds in her eye and ear, which is also a nice bonus. I also gave her pure white fur to create more visual contrast. Overall, I'm pretty happy with how she turned out, though I wish I didn't shade the legs too much because it's kinda blending with the skirt colour....welp, ya win some ya lose some I guess.
Sanae is also relatively on-model compared to everyone else here, though I did try to make some changes to her outfit to make her feel different from Reimu. First of all, I made her big sleeves (IDK the proper Japanese term for them, if there is one, so again if you know please correct me on this) more open than Reimu's, as well as making them more pointy to give her a different silhouette. I also tried out a new rendering style on her eyes that I also applied to Cirno (we'll get to her in a moment) to also make her face feel different from Reimu's. I'll be honest, I didn't really know what to do with her body type so she just kinda got the "basic slim girl" look in her drawing. I'm not too big a fan of the frills I added to her skirt though, I don't really think she needs them. I'm glad I gave Reimu pants and a tabard instead of a normal skirt because that does help to make the two of them feel different. I also kept her little frog hair clip the same shade of blue as her dress, mainly to economize my colour usage and limit the palette into something a little more tight-nit. I do like how her little hair snake looks though, it's cute lol.
And finally, we have Cirno. I have been a firm believer of "long sleeve Cirno is best Cirno" ever since I saw the art of her in PMiSS because she's an ice fairy, I think it would make sense for her to want to keep herself warm, same reason she has little socks too. Now that I look at it more, her colours are pretty similar to her design in Great Fairy Wars, and honestly I like that, I think keeping her colour palette simple is a good idea so I'm happy about that. I mainly wanted to focus on rendering her wings though, mainly because rendering ice and crystals is fun even though I have done zero studies of them! I also wanted to experiment with rendering her eyes in a similar way to Sanae's, and I like how they turned out! I don't know if I'll continue with this style in the future but it will probably stick around because to me, any stylistically different way of doing eyes is another facial feature I can use to bend the rules of same face syndrome.
While I'm on the topic, I want to mention that the reason Hunter X Hunter's art works so well is because everything is kinda rendered the same. It showed me that if you do everything else consistently in your style (i.e. rendering, lineart, shading), stylizing each character's faces differently will be a lot easier, at least that's how I see it. IDK if I'm ever gonna do drawings of Aya and Ran in this style since I gotta think about them more as well as stop procrastinating lol.
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nereidprinc3ss ¡ 10 months ago
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fixation
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in which you love spencer reid's hands so much you could... well, you could practically eat them. or at least let him put his fingers in your mouth.
18+ (fluff, suggestive) warnings/tags: finger sucking...lol....., established relationship, ummmm d/s adjacent dynamics, like softdom spencer but there's no sex, pet names, teasing a/n: this was inspired by @gublersg1rl who said 2 nights ago she would suck spencer's fingers as he was reading a book. my beautiful angel with so many great ideas in her beautiful head. anyway this will not be my magnum opus in terms of quality but its just a fun short little thing I hope u like :D
Spencer is reading. 
He got home forty five minutes ago, and he’d hugged you and he’d kissed you—and they were good hugs and kisses, but as you sit curled on the opposite end of the couch from him, watching him read, it doesn’t feel like enough. Three days isn’t the longest he’s been gone, but you missed him like he was gone longer. And now, he’s not truly ignoring you—but he’s not giving you enough attention. It’s unintentional, but it’s making you feel all kinds of needy and overly-affectionate anyway. 
Especially when he’s so gorgeous. Ankle crossed over knee, lithe fingers skimming over the page to keep track of his place. Those hands are truly distracting. It’s unlike you to be struck by such wildly inappropriate thoughts so out of context, but here you are, having been without him for days, practically feverish on the couch as you imagine all the things they could do. All the things they have done. The way they've traced down your bare spine, up your side, so lovingly in the middle of the night... how they've touched you elsewhere...
And... that's enough.
Despite the whole committed relationship thing, you still feel a bit scandalized picturing him like that. And you know from experience these thoughts will only get worse if you stay over here, staring at him, wanting him, so you crawl across the couch and under his arm, settling your head in his lap and looking up at him expectantly. He chuckles—a quiet, dry thing, that says he’s only partially surprised by your behavior. 
“Well hello,” Spencer says, taking one hand off the book to settle on your leg. 
“Hi.”
For a moment he just studies you, affection seeping into his eyes along with the humor already there. “Can I help you?”
“Mhm.”
His brow darts up. 
“With what, baby?”
Baby. Your whole body tingles. He only calls you that when he’s feeling especially soft toward you and your whims. In turn you soften, and you both become rather mushy. 
Unfortunately your brain is not excluded from melting, and you look up at him helplessly. 
“Um…”
Spencer’s hand falls from your knee, taking an unnecessary but appreciated route down your thigh and up your stomach before settling on your cheek. He brushes away a few baby hairs before two knuckles begin drawing soft lines from the corner of your mouth up toward your ear and back again, and your stomach becomes a hail of butterflies. He’s got this soft smile on his face and you love him so much and he’s so sweet and perfect, you could just—
You’re not thinking very clearly when you tilt your head, angling your chin up until you catch his fingers against your lips. His eyes remain on yours as he traces the shape of your mouth with those same two knuckles—until you’re slowly parting, obstructing his path and offering a very different kind of invitation. Spencer’s eyes narrow fractionally and you watch the way his focus changes, the way he only tests the waters at first, letting the tips of his fingers trace the length of your bottom lip, before barely tugging down just enough to feel the soft warmth of the border of it. They skate over the ridge of your teeth and find the tip of your tongue, at which point you can’t help from closing your lips around his fingers, eyes fluttering contentedly as you draw them deeper into your mouth. His brows draw together, and those pretty pink lips part soundlessly like you’re the eighth wonder of the world in a way that has your thighs clenching. You hear the book shut and fall carelessly to the side table. He doesn’t even bother saving his place—too busy bringing that newly freed hand to your hair and combing gently against your scalp. 
It’s strangely calming to have him like this—he’s undeniably with you, undeniably close, against your lips and tongue. All your worries about his distance dissolve and you feel incredibly comforted. With his other hand, his thumb begins stroking a line from the bridge of your nose up your forehead, and you could pass out. 
“Comfy?” He asks after a long moment, slowly withdrawing his fingers from the heat of your mouth. You pout. 
“I was.”
Spencer hums, eyes soft on you. “I don’t think I should be nurturing your oral fixation, angel.”
“You didn’t like it?” You challenge, turning your head inward to nose at his stomach. He  cups your cheek with damp fingers and pointedly turns your head outward again. If he wasn’t so blushy and flustered and cute you might’ve cared more about the feeling of your own spit on your skin. 
“Don’t make it about me.”
You allow a minute to pass in silence. 
Fine.
“I liked it,” you say shyly. 
Spencer’s response is deeply fond as he smiles down at you. “Did you?”
Like he couldn’t tell. 
“Mhm. You should let me do it all the time.”
His smile flickers wider the way it does when he’s about to tease you. 
“I don’t know if you deserve it. I don’t know if you can be good all the time.”
You make a face. “Shut up.”
“Is that what we say when we want something?” Before he can pull his hand away, you nip at his fingers. He laughs. “You’re off to a terrible start. I think you need to work on your manners. Not bite the hand that… goes in your mouth.”
“Is that the saying?”
“I’m pretty sure,” he nods sarcastically, helping you up until you’re sitting across his lap. He lovingly tucks hair behind your ear, eyes warm as they flit across your face up close. “You know, that was incredibly unhygienic. So much bacteria it boggles the mind.”
“Yeah? That kinda turns me on.”
Spencer leans in to kiss you sweetly, choosing your mouth over his worry about bacterial transmission. “You are so psychologically concerning,” he whispers against your lips. You sling your arms around his neck. 
“Because of the bacteria thing or the oral fixation thing?”
His hands settle on your hips. “Both, lovely. For so many reasons.”
It’s only another tease, but you pull back anyway so he can see the full force of your pout. “Don’t say that. It’s mean.”
“I was kidding! It was a joke. I was joking.”
“It was mean.”
“Okay,” Spencer begins, patient and happy to untangle this ridiculous snag if that’s what it takes to make you content again, “Freud’s psychosexual stages of development are contentious at best. I’m not worried about your oral fixation because I don’t really believe in such a thing. I was just teasing you, but I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
“So you’ll let me do it again?”
Spencer pulls you back into another kiss. 
“You’re kind of insatiable, you know that?” 
When you don’t answer, only wait for him to respond, he sighs goodnaturedly. 
“You know you can have any part of me whenever you want it.”
You give him a winning smile and kiss his cheek in reward. 
“You’re so nice, Spence.”
“I thought I was mean.” 
“Now you’re nice.”
“Because you got what you wanted?” You nod enthusiastically. He seems not quite as thrilled, though perhaps distantly amused by his own helplessness when it comes to you. “Yeah, I feel like that happens a lot, doesn’t it?”
But it clearly doesn’t bother him that much. He’s still smiling when you kiss him again. 
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nezuscribe ¡ 2 years ago
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𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬
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pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader
summary: you find yourself in a marriage that you never wanted in the first place. your husband seems to hate you and you begin to wonder if anything you used to think of him was even true. who would have though a marriage to gojo satoru would be so difficult?
warnings: 18+ mdni, arranged marriage, misunderstandings and just not talking shit out, mentions of cheating, slight angst (with comfort), eating out (fem! receiving), fingering, gojo doesn't really know how to husband for some of it
word count: 10.9K (whoops)
note: part two is up! i really had a lot of fun writing this so reblogs and comments are always appreciated! as always, thank you to @jadeisthirsting for beta reading <3
jjk masterlist
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never did you think that you’d be stuck in a marriage to a man who didn’t love you, but there’s a first for everything. 
you should count yourself lucky that he’s not old and bald. he’s pretty. in fact, he’s the prettiest man you’ve ever seen. his eyes are the bluest, bluer than the sky. his hair mirrors the winter snows, and his back ripples with muscles whenever he fights. 
his agility is unlike any other man. he fights swiftly and cleanly, never taking more than a couple minutes to get rid of whatever it was that stood in his way. he’s charming with his words (or so you’ve heard), and he knows how to make somebody swoon if he really wants them to. 
and he seems to despise you.
you had known gojo since you were a child, the two of you running around each other's fields as you chased him with your wooden sword. you remembered watching him in training, wishing him good luck whenever he went on a hunt. you could even remember how he would stutter whenever he tried to talk, something he must have worked on because he never seemed to stutter anymore. 
he was always nice to you, his cheeks rosy whenever you kissed him goodbye. he was kind back then, grinning brightly whenever he saw you. 
but as time grew and you with it, and it was only a matter of years before the two of you went your separate ways. it didn’t help that once he turned thirteen he had to leave for training and fighting in whatever it was that was needed of him, but you had hoped that he would be able to write back. 
you would send him letters whenever you could, it was tradition whenever the two of you were separated for too long to do so. each letter telling him about new experiences and embarrassing things that happened in your life, but he never responded. you liked to send one every week, sometimes including little tokens you thought he might enjoy. but you stopped sending them after the first two years and stopped asking about his whereabouts after three. 
but you were hopeful that when you saw him that night so many months ago, he’d be civil with you. you were nervous, sure, but who could blame you? you had recently gotten news that his time to serve his clan was over and that he was finally back home. it wasn’t as though the two of you had left on bad graces, so you were hopeful that he would at least remember you. but he could barely meet your eyes whenever you tried to catch him from across the room, acting as if you had never existed. 
he looked so different since the last time you had seen him. he was taller than most of the people in the room, his white hair just as bright as it used to be. he had gained muscle mass almost everywhere, and you felt yourself wondering just how much training he had to go through to look this way. you could see him talking to a girl, a smile on his face as he tilted his head to look at her better. you gave him some time to socialize, not wanting to intrude on anything. 
after an hour you decided that it was long enough, and tried to weave your way through the crowd to get to him. you had tried to call out to him, waving to him despite your mother quickly shoving your hand down, saying how improper it was. he heard you and you knew that he was purposely ignoring you, so you began to feel heavy-hearted after a couple of attempts at trying to catch his attention, eventually giving up. 
and now, despite you wanting to, you can’t even blame him for hating you. 
ever since your mother caught you, alone with him, a man you hadn’t seen in so long, she had swiftly and promptly proposed the idea of marriage only a few days later. it was really to save face for the two families, but it helped that this marriage would unify the two clans. 
you were sure he had ladies lined up to marry him, and you weren’t somebody he was actively trying to pursue. you didn’t even know if he was in love with somebody else if he shared a connection with a girl who was surely not you and cursed you for taking that away from him. 
not that it mattered now. 
all you wanted was to reconcile, to catch up on all the things happening in your lives. you wanted to hear all the stories he must have racked up over the years, not for this to happen. all the things he wanted for himself were ripped away because of one night from one simple act of kindness, and so you couldn’t find it in yourself to hate him for the way he acted.
you rarely come down for dinner whenever he’s there, but when you do, you feel those eyes turn icy, tracking your every movement till you sit down opposite of him. he doesn’t say much, just mutters a quiet “good evening” and you’re sure he’s only doing it so the maids don’t start to gossip. 
whenever your hand brushes his you feel him snap back, flexing his hand as though your touch burned him. he rarely came by to ask you about how you felt, and so you stopped trying to act kindly towards him if he didn’t want anything to do with it.
any semblance of romance you had dreamed of as a young girl quickly dissipated when you realized your husband wanted nothing to do with you, so you didn’t try to pursue any sort of love, deciding it’d be easier if he just did his part and you did yours so the two clans wouldn’t worry. 
he was always gone, which might be the best for the two of you. when he’s not training new men then he’s gone in a hunt. if he’s not in a hunt then he’s somewhere in his endless home, hiding away. 
you don’t know if he does this for him, for your sake, or for everybody else. 
“did you see your husband this morning?” one of your maids said excitedly as she tugged the undergarments over your raised arm, a gleeful smile on her face as she rambled about something gojo had done. you couldn’t help but return a smile of your own, although it didn’t quite meet your eyes. 
“yes, briefly. he’s busy with having to worry about the feast,” which wasn’t a total lie. you’d seen him hurriedly brush past you, quickly glancing at you as if he had forgotten you were his wife. you felt your chest tighten up with the way he glanced at your hand, and then quickly left. 
it was only a few nights away and you knew that it was the only buzz of news anybody seemed to talk about. unfortunately, for you, it meant having to socialize with other clans. you were fine with that aspect, you’d been doing it since you were young, but this time they had a right to be nosey. you knew there would be endless questions asked about the honeymoon stage of your marriage, to which you had no answer. 
sure, you’d been making up answers to hypothetical questions, but you didn’t know what gojo would be answering with, so you were only praying some of your responses would line up. 
for a night the two of you would have to pretend to be husband and wife, and while the people around you knew you were anything, you knew you had to commit to the role for the sake of you and your family’s dignity. 
but all this worrying isn’t good for your head, you could already feel the pang as you squeezed your eyes to try and get rid of it. you tried to move on from your worries, going to comment on her necklace, it seemed new, but a knock interrupted you. the two of your heads popped up, looking at where the sound came from. 
“come in!” you called out, buttoning up the last bits of your top as you thanked myra. she nodded, bowing as she went to open the door. you could hear her faint footsteps, not bothering to look up as she greeted the person behind. you guessed it was franchesca coming with the fabric samples. 
“sir,” you heard myra say, and your head swirled around, only to see the topic of your conversation make his way into your room, excusing your maid with a swift motion of his hand. she glanced once at you and then to him, ducking her head as she left, closing the door behind her as she left you two alone. 
you felt heat prickle at the back of your neck as he looked at you and then to your room. the two of you slept separately, as per your request the first night. you couldn’t bear the agonizing silence between the two of you, and he obliged. 
he was dressed for sparring. he had a loose-fitting tunic on, and pants that would allow him to move freely and without constraint. it was in moments like these that you were reminded of the fact that gojo was the strongest warrior that any of the clans had seen, that the child who once splurged on sugar in his tea was capable (and has done so before) of taking down entire armies. 
he had matured so much since what you last remembered from him. he no longer acted rashly nor spoke without thinking about what it was he wanted to say. but you still saw him eating sweets with the same fervor he did as a kid, and it never failed to make you smile, hiding it behind your hand so nobody could hear your quiet giggle. 
it had been a while since it was just the two of you, alone, and all you could think about was that night. your cheeks heated up just thinking about it, and it seemed that gojo could tell your discomfort with the way he cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair as he began to speak. 
“good morning,” he started, his eyes darting around, never setting on yours. it was funny if it didn’t cause your heart to hurt irrevocably, at how the strongest warrior in all the land could barely look at his wife. 
if only you knew.
“good morning.” you offered him a quick, disingenuous smile, moving around until you found your vanity, rummaging through your laid-out earrings as you kept your back to him, not trusting your face to give you away if you were to look at him for too long. 
you heard him take in an audible breath, but he continued whatever it was he wanted to say. 
“with the feast coming up, i want to clear some things with you,” you turned around, looping the earrings in as you nodded for him to continue. it was such a shame he was so stunning, effortlessly attractive as the sun caught off his cheekbones, bouncing off of his chest. he rested his hand on the hilt of his sword, and you wondered if being here was just as painfully awkward for him as it was for you. 
“we should act like we’re…” he trailed off and you felt yourself itching to leave, knowing what he meant without having to say it. 
“in love?” you finished and he slowly nodded, gnawing on his lip as you brushed past him, going to find the mirror so you could adjust your jewelry. you could see him fidgeting in the corner, and for once you could see a hint of nervousness and unease on his features. 
and a part of you hurt. you would never admit out loud that you harbored a crush on him for as long as you could remember. it hurt knowing that you acting like you were in love was perhaps the lost genuine form of love you could show. 
“what if they ask about the night we met?” you ask after a couple of seconds, looking up from what you were doing. deep down, you knew somebody was bound to ask. even if it was just your mother who had caught the two of you alone in that garden, the news of it somehow spread (she was always one to talk). 
he scratches his head, shrugging as he eventually settles on an idea.
“just tell them the truth.” 
the truth. 
tell them how he followed you after you had run outside, sick to your stomach after a man, who was as old as your father, had introduced himself as a possible suitor. how gojo, the most ruthless warrior in all the land, had carefully put his hands on your back as you retched, offering you a towel he had fetched from inside to clean yourself up. 
tell them how you hadn’t seen him in years but the first thing you had done was to hug him tightly. how his hands wrapped around your back as though they were the only things keeping you afloat. perhaps they were. 
tell them how he murmured words in your hair to bring you back to reality, his thumb running up and down your arms to calm you down. how it seemed like even though it had been years since you two last saw each other, it felt so right, so normal, to be back in his arms. 
tell them how he had looked at you with such worry, such care, unlike anybody else had looked at you, and you for once felt safe in somebody’s arms. 
tell them how your mother found you two in such a compromising position, with your head nestled in his chest as he tried his very best to soothe your cries. it was humiliating and embarrassing to be caught with a man you had only seen back in your teenage years, and especially so in such a vulnerable position. 
you shake your head, scoffing at the idea, “i’ll just come up with something,” was your answer and he nods along, realizing how the story would be too private to share with people you barely knew.
“and we need a reason for why,” he cleared his throat once again, pink dusting on his cheeks as his eyes dropped to your stomach. your eyes met his in the mirror, and one of your eyebrows raised, “well, you’re not exactly looking like you’re carrying a child at the moment.” 
you quickly looked away, the tension in the room increasing as you moved away from the mirror, doing anything you could to keep your hands occupied. you flushed at the comment, your throat drying up as you glanced at your stomach.
the two of you have barely touched, much less been intimate with each other. you were glad he hadn’t forced the idea onto you, instead, leaving it to you to bring up the topic. you only talked about it, once, the night of the marriage, and then never again. you knew that it would have to happen eventually, but you couldn’t do it right now, not with your state of mind. 
you scrambled to say something. in all honesty, you had been dreading this question. you hadn’t been answering any of the letters your mother sent, and you knew people were expecting to hear the news of a pregnancy. 
“we’ll just say we’ve been so busy and preoccupied with the politics of marriage that we couldn’t… consummate.” you offered and he just shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as if this was the biggest inconvenience to him. 
you knew that this marriage was brought upon quickly and before either of you could object to it, but at least you tried to hide it away. if only he hadn’t acted so rashly that night, his hands on your shoulders, eyes bewildered as they racked over your figure. if only he had been more careful, or you were smarter in picking some place to be more concealed, you wouldn’t be put in this position. 
but neither of you was thinking ahead, and here you were. but he was certainly making sure that you knew of his contempt for this arrangement far more than you were. it was irritating, it scratched at your skin and ate away at your mind the more you saw each other.
“look,” he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, off of the way you were fiddling with the ring he had delicately placed on your hand so many weeks ago, “i can come up with whatever they ask, so just try your best to do the same.” you say, your voice tinged with anger, the ring on your finger acting as an anchor to the depths of the sea with the way it weighed down your movements, feeling your chest swell as he stayed silent, watching you as you opened the door. 
“i don’t-”
“um, i won’t be joining you for dinner, so don’t wait on me…i apologize, i need to work on some things for the feast…have a good day.” you swiftly murmured, shutting him in your own room as you left, your heart thumping erratically in your chest as you almost ran down the hallway. 
you had no idea how you were going to persuade the masses that this marriage was working if you couldn’t even persuade yourself. 
---
the feast of clans came earlier than you expected. 
you found yourself perched at the end of the table, gojo next to you, your stiff bodies mirroring each other as the people around you joyously helped themselves to the vast variety of food offered. 
you could barely touch the meal in front of you, your stomach churning uncomfortably with the sheer number of people that surrounded you. back home, you hated these feasts, opting to leave after a couple of bites and finish the rest of what you could pocket in your room, but here, as the clan leader's wife, you had no such luxury. 
“are you not hungry?” you looked to your side, gojo staring at your plate and then to you, his eyes squinting as he tried to decipher what you were feeling.
“i can’t eat,” you murmured, playing with your utensils as you swallowed thickly, “i don’t do well in large crowds.” 
he nodded once, looking out into the sea of bodies as he inched a little bit closer to you. he was donned in expensive fabrics, although his hair still messily fell all over. the candle that was lit in front of you had different hues of oranges and reds bouncing off of his pale skin, and if you didn’t know any better, the blush on his nose and cheeks could have been from the frigid winds from outside. 
“i’ll have myra save you a plate,” he said, giving you a curt smile as he went back to eating. 
you were momentarily taken aback by his comment, but tried not to show it, going back to fidgeting with your ring as you looked at the sea of people. nobody had thankfully come up to you and bombarded you with questions, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t going to eventually happen. 
“thank you,” you say, glancing at him and then back to your plate. 
“anything for my wife,” he replies. it’s only for show, you remind yourself, after all, when was the last time he referred to you as such? 
“gojo,” an old man had walked up to your table, his face lined with wrinkles and a beard, dressed in orange as he offered gojo his hand to shake, “i’m glad to see that you finally settled down.”
gojo blushed deeply, trying to offer him a smile as he motioned to you. 
“it’s hard to resist marriage when such a woman offers it.” he says, and you feel your eyes widen as you try to laugh off his statement. 
“yes,” the old man chuckles, eyeing the two of you. he looked familiar, and you were sure you had seen him around these sorts of gatherings before, “it was only a matter of time before it happened. we all knew just how much you liked her back when you were children.”
the two of you sputtered on your coughs, and you felt a little smile grow on your face as gojo did what he could to usher the man away. 
you could tell with the way he shifted uncomfortably in his seat that gojo wasn’t expecting that, and before you could realize what you were doing you found yourself talking. 
“i’m not a fan of feasts.” you quickly said, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop them. it’s not like you felt you owed him an explanation, but you said it regardless. 
gojo looked up from his plate, grabbing his cup so he could wash down his bite. 
“any feast?” he asked, and you could feel the way the air shifted. he was glad you brought up a different topic. 
“one’s as big as this,” you twisted your ring back and forth on your finger subconsciously, “i get nervous in big crowds.”
“i remember,” a small smile grew on his face as he thought back to when the two of you were children, “you would hide under the tables and force me to come with you.” 
you chuckled, blood rushing to your ears at the fact that he remembered this about you. it was the bare minimum of what you remembered from him, but you had convinced yourself that he had washed every memory of your last selves from his mind. 
a rush of distant memories came to your head; nights spent under the tables, laughing as you two tried to keep your voices down as you tried to dodge the feet. you could still hear his whispers of staying quiet, trying to sneak out so he could smuggle in some pastries for you to eat.
“the adults scared me; they were always loud and insistent on asking personal questions.”
“like they are now?” he replied back, a tilt in his voice as you nodded feverishly. 
“yes!” you covered your mouth with your hand as you let out a laugh, a genuine one as you tried to look as put together as you could, “i swear, it’s even worse than when we were young. just the other day a wet nurse came to me and told me the best positions to get into when giving birth!” it really was a mortifying moment, your eyes darting all around as the old lady even took it upon herself to demonstrate the movements, but gojo didn’t seem to mind, laughing along with you. his eyes twinkled as they took in your giggly state, years since he had last seen you like this. 
“i feel like i should apologize,” he starts, having to cover his own infectious smile as he ducks down his head in shame, “i had her sent up to your chambers.”
your mouth dropped open in shock, lightly smacking his arm as he grinned at the look on your face.
“to mortify me so that i would never leave?” your thumb moves your ring back and forth and gojo watches you as you do it. 
“you seemed sick at breakfast, but i guess she thought it was a different sort of sickness.” gojo tells you as he cuts off some of his meat, not knowing just how much his words affected you. 
you had forgotten how simple and easy conversations were with gojo. although this was under a guise to fool people, you felt at ease with him, as if you didn’t have to be on guard with your emotions when he was around. 
“do you still want to hide under the table now?” he asked a couple of seconds later, chewing on a potato as you shrugged, looking around before your lips grew into an apologetic smile. 
“…yes,” you admitted bashfully and he smiled at your honest response. 
“if you want to hide, i’ll-”
“satoru!” a booming voice interrupted your endless spiral of thoughts as the two of you glanced upwards at the sound, “it’s been too long!” 
a man with hair as dark as night and a smile wider than any ocean had come up to your table. he was the first one to do so all night, but gojo didn’t seem bothered by it. he seemed to smile, crescents forming around his eyes as he took his friend's hand.
“too long,” he emphasized with a charming grin, motioning to you and then back to the man in front of you as if he suddenly remembered the two of you and never met, “suguru, this is my wife, y/n. y/n, this is one of my oldest friends.” 
you extended your hand outwards and the man, suguru, took it, placing a soft kiss on the back of it as he shot you a playful smile. he wasn’t at the wedding, but then yet again, it was a rather quick one. the only people who had attended were your families. 
“it’s a pleasure to meet you.” he greeted, and you nodded in agreement, sitting back down next to gojo. you felt his long fingers reach for yours, enveloping your hand in his as your heart sputtered at the touch. 
“likewise,” you answered and the man grinned politely before he slightly tilted his head, looking at the two of you sitting next to each other. 
“he’s not bothering you, is he? i know satoru can be fiendish when he wants to be, so call for me and i’ll take care of him.” he teased and you could only smile tightly and laugh along, gojo’s fingers slightly tightening around yours as he moved your hand to rest on his thigh. 
“i can take care of him when he’s fiendish. i just have to take the sugar away, right?” suguru snorted and gojo glared, but it was playful the way he looked at you. 
his hands were warmer than you would have expected. you could feel the indents of calluses on his fingertips, could feel his thumb moving back and forth on your skin in a calming sort of manner. he didn’t look over at you as he did it, playing it off as second nature. 
“i apologize for not having much time to get to know you, but i have something i need to talk to gojo about. would you mind? it will only take a minute?” he asked, and gojo let go of your hand at the time of his friend's voice. you had to control your urge to roll your eyes, shifting in your seat as you motioned for suguru to talk to your husband, watching as he stood from his seat, leaving with the man as they went somewhere a little more secluded. 
you watched as gojo leaned down to hear whatever it was that suguru was whispering in his ear, pulling back with a frown on his face. he snapped something that only caused suguru to reel back, cast a quick glance at you, and then shake his head in clear annoyance. 
you saw gojo look up, his eyes landing on somebody from across the room, and you followed his stare, only to land on a girl. 
she wore a dark yellow tunic and skirt, colors from a neighboring clan. you hadn’t seen her before, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t known. just one look at the men surrounding her and you could pick up on their lovesick expressions. 
she motioned for gojo to come to her with a bend of her finger, slyly brushing her hair out of her face to make it look as though it was nothing, exiting from the dining area and vanishing into one of the halls. 
you looked down in case either of the men glanced over to see if you were staring. your eyes pierced through the meat on your plate, bile rising up your throat. 
you gave yourself some time, counting up to a minute before you looked back to where suguru and gojo were, finding suguru standing alone. you looked at where the girl was and saw a flash of white hair before it disappeared, your heart sinking as you glanced back at suguru, only to find him looking at you. 
you looked back at your plate, picking up a knife and fork as you stabbed the meat. you couldn’t keep anything down but it’s best to pretend.
---
gojo didn’t return until half an hour later, and you refused to talk to him. 
“did anybody bombast you with questions?” he teased, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. he didn’t seem to pick up on your darkened mood as your fingers dug into your dress. 
“i had a woman ask me if you had disappeared with your mistress, but that was it.” you remarked, silence filling the void between the two of you and you realized that all you had thought of him was crumbling down. 
you didn’t care for your image anymore, giving curt answers to any questions somebody had asked. you could feel his stare on the side of your face but you didn’t humor him in looking over, focusing on your plate instead. 
so what if he was seeing somebody else? you would have been naive to think that he wouldn’t wander. the two of you barely touched each other. 
once all the guests had left over the course of the following days, you did everything you could to steer away from gojo. 
you no longer came down for breakfast or dinner, choosing to eat in your own quarters. if he wanted to have his own secrets, he could do whatever he pleased. 
though you rarely saw suguru after the feast, he did try to talk to you the morning after it took place. he cornered you after you had left from breakfast, his once playful demeanor turned serious as you tried your best to end the conversation. 
“what you saw last night-”
“is none of my business,” you finished, raising your hand as you cut him off, “if gojo has his own private matters to deal with, i’m indifferent to them all.” 
“you know that’s not what it was.” his hand hovered over your arm, careful not to touch you but not wanting you to leave either. 
“i ruined his life, didn’t i?” you tilted your head a bit in questioning. after all, that’s all you could hear from the women who gossiped as they folded the laundry, or behind the hands of the girls who watched you and gojo interact and the mothers who wanted their daughters to be set up with him only sneered at you from across the tables. 
“you…where’d you get that from?” his brows scrunched together in confusion as you scoffed, hoping he couldn’t see the tears welling in the corner of your eyes at the sting of your own words. 
“i can see it on his face. if gojo wants to have his own affairs, he can have them. it’s not like we’re in love. hopefully, i find my own way out so that the two of us look happier and this marriage looks somewhat presentable to the public.” 
you didn’t want to see the look on his face, but you’re sure he reported this all back to gojo because he didn’t look at you once after it. 
you heard from a maid a week later that he was gone for another meeting with a clan, a southern one from what you picked up, and that you should probably go and wish him some luck. 
leading up to the night of his departure you anxiously paced around your room, your feet padding on the floor as your nightgown swished behind you. 
you hadn’t talked to gojo at all that day, and purposefully so. 
it was petty, you know it was, to not want to see him, but a part of you still aches when you look back on that night. at how he didn’t explain where he was even after you asked, at how it was suguru he had sent to fix his dirty work for him. 
“y/n?” a muffled voice came from outside your door. 
your head shot up at the familiar sound, quietly dragging yourself out from your bed as you grabbed the candle, hovering on the other side as you waited for him to say something else. 
“are you awake?” you heard a soft thud from his side, almost as if his head or arm had hit the door. 
you didn’t answer, still, waiting. 
“i’m leaving tomorrow and i wanted to see you before i left.” your heart skipped at his words, careful not to make a sound as you near the door. 
“if you’re sleeping i won’t bother you anymore but if you’re not,” you could hear the old stutter he had coming back, his words meshing together as he tried to regain control, “and you’re choosing to stay quiet, i…” he sighed, his forehead thumping down as he rested it on the door, “i wanted to apologize for the feast. i shouldn’t have left you alone, and if you’d open the door, i would explain why…” he could see the flicker of the candle from underneath the crack, and saw the way it blew away, darkness following suit. 
you walked back to your bed, turning your back to the door as you set the candle down on your table. 
“goodnight,” his voice was quieter than before, and you felt guilty, but pushed the bitter feeling down.
a couple of seconds later you heard him let out a sigh of defeat, his footsteps leading away from your bedroom as you curled into yourself, hoping you would let your heart stop taking control of what your head should be doing. 
---
gojo didn’t return for a while, and you grew more impatient by the day. 
it normally took him and his men a week at maximum, and once two had passed, you felt yourself growing uneasy. 
you tried to act as passive as you could, but even myra could pick up on your growing apprehension. you have never voiced your worries over your husband before, but she knew this wasn’t like any other time. 
when you went to bed, the only thing you could dream about was that night, your brain re-running the images as you tossed and turned. 
“are you alright?” he asked, his hands on your elbows as you could barely speak, your blurry vision impairing your sight. you could only see a mop of white in the darkness, your stomach betraying you as you tried to keep the sick down. 
“i don’t feel too good,” you mumbled, trying to put some distance between the two of you as you pushed him away, only to feel him coming closer as he placed a hand on your forehead and then to your cheeks. 
“you’re burning up,” he muttered under his breath, guiding you gently so that you wouldn’t trip over your feet. 
“i’m sorry, you can go back inside, i don’t want to keep you out here.” you were slurring your words as you tried not to throw up on him. you wiped at your eyes so that you could see him better, only to reel back in utter shock to see the face of your childhood friend frowning down at you. 
your mouth formed in the shape of his name, going to say something else, before you hunched over, feeling his strong hands pat your back and keep the hair out of your face as you felt your world tilt on its axis. 
you ate your dinner at the table, eyeing his empty seat as you tried to shove his last night out of your mind. you shouldn’t feel this way, especially about a man who feels nothing towards you, but your little heart was churning in its confines the more you let yourself think about it.
sitting in the same spot where the feast took place only brought back the venomous taste in your mouth, and so you pretended that you were back home, eating somewhere without the worry of your life weighing you down like a thousand weights on your shoulders. 
myra tried her best to distract you, but she could see the distant look in your eyes, how your voice never seemed too genuine. she began to worry for you, but it seemed like your mind was fixed on one thing. 
until you found yourself pacing around your room, just like you were the night you last heard of him, playing with the ring on your finger as the moon carded through your window. 
“my lady,” you heard myra through the door, her voice shaky and a bit more on edge than usual, “there’s-” but before she could finish it slammed open, revealing the man you’d been biting your nails over, standing in the flesh.
his eyes were a dark blue, squinted as they looked right through you. his chest heaved as he looked like he was trying to catch his breath. you could see the streaks of blood that lined his usually clean clothes, the red that stained his cheeks and jaw. 
he looked feral, and it was throwing you off balance. 
“out.” he snapped at myra, and before you could scold him for his tone she fled, the door shutting roughly behind her. 
the two of you could only stare at each other. you didn’t know what to think after weeks of uselessly worrying over him, not knowing about his well-being, to see him here, in front of you, but looking different than he ever had. 
“are you alright?” 
you could barely get it out, the works sticking on your tongue as you took a tentative step forward, not knowing what to do with his state of being. 
he eyed the blood on his shirt, wiping at his cheeks as if he had forgotten it was there. he didn’t look too dirty, less dirty than one would expect from a five week endeavor through the woods, but he didn’t look too good either. 
“you were awake.” is all he says, his chest still moving up and down as though he couldn’t breathe properly. 
“that night i came by, you were awake. i saw your candle, i heard your footsteps.” he says this as though it’s fighting its way out of his mouth as if it’s all he could think about to tell you. 
“i,” you pretend that you don’t care, shrugging, “i wasn’t up to talk.” 
“you were with suguru.” he snaps, his tone shocking you, and he steps back as if he had shocked himself. he jammed his palms into his eyes, tilting his head upwards before he looked back at you. 
“for five weeks you were all i could think about. i wanted to come back, i wanted to tell you what i felt but we kept running into issues with other tribes and clans.” 
“what could you possibly think about that occupied your mind for five weeks?” you so desperately wanted your voice to come out strong but it sounded weak, as though you were hanging off of his every syllable. 
“you had told suguru that you were going to find your…own way out,” he took a step forward, and here you could see the scratches on his chest, the cuts on his arms, “i was praying to every god there was that you hadn’t found somebody in these past weeks, that you hadn’t…”
you could barely believe his words, not knowing if you should feel offended, shocked, worried, or a mix of all those three. 
“what business would it be to you if i did?” you hate that this was the response you settled on. hurt flashed across his face but he tried to regain his composure. 
“you are my wife-”
“and you are my husband!” you snapped and watched as he was momentarily taken aback by your outburst, but you continued your nose flaring, “you cannot argue with me on this when you left with some girl in the middle of our feast!” you felt all your emotions finally pouring out and you had no control over them, “everybody was talking about it, everybody was looking at me in pity!” your voice cracked, tears poking at your eyes as you pointed an accusatory finger at him. 
gojo looked down, running a hand through his hair as he pointed a finger back. 
“if you had let me explain myself, you would have known that she was trying to do what you thought she was. i left as quickly as i could but you would barely look at me!” you wanted to rip your hair out, cursing yourself for ever feeling any sort of worry for this man. 
“i know that this marriage was the last thing you wanted but at least you could play the part of a husband! you didn’t send a single note, anything to tell us that you were okay, that you were alive!” you heaved, fidgeting with your ring as you wiped at your cheeks, “and you come back here accusing me of adultery? all everybody could talk about was the fact that you were warming somebody else’s bed! they said a meeting never takes this long unless something…somebody else comes up.” your voice wobbles at the end, and you find yourself furiously rubbing your tears away, hiding your sniffing as though that would do anything.  
he paused upon seeing you cry, his face falling as he tried to step forward but you angled yourself away from him, hoping he’d get the hint. 
he wanted to hold you, to tell you that all the rumors you were hearing were false and that the only room he had left in his heart was for you. but he couldn’t blame you for feeling or thinking this way. hell, he was so sure that he’d open the door to find another man comforting you that he didn’t even stop to consider what must have been going through your head all these weeks. 
“one of the clans tried to attack us, and we weren’t ready for it. that is why we took so long.” 
you sniffle again, not caring for his explanation although it did soothe a part of your past self. 
“you could have at least sent a letter telling me what happened,” you fidget with your ring, your thumb running over the diamond, “everybody asked me questions that i should have had answers to, but i had no idea where you were or what you were doing…” he nods, his lips pressed into a thin line as he agreed with you. 
“you're right,” his voice was thick with emotion, the words slurring in his mouth as he found himself anchored in place, not knowing what to do. but you were rambling, your thoughts going on and on and you couldn’t stop yourself. 
“…but i know you don’t like letters, so the least you could have done was send a parchment saying i’m alive or something like that.” you rub at your nose again, feeling like all the weeks of worry we’re coming to a standpoint. 
he looked confused now, if anything, and scratched at his jaw. 
“what do you mean?” 
you scoff at the audacity, rolling your eyes as you feel anger prickle at your skin. 
“you never once responded to any of my letters. in my eyes, that must mean you have some sort-”
“letters? what letters?” 
you glance at him, taking in his shaking form. 
“come on gojo,” you feel embarrassed as he urges you to speak, having to spell it out for him, his eyes pleading with you to continue, “the ones from when you left for training.”
his mouth opens and then closes, looks at the ground and then back up to you as he shakes his head. you could hear your fireplace crackling in the background. the only sounds circling the room were the pops of ember and your breathing. 
“i…” he feels like there’s cotton in his mouth, hoping that you’re lying, “i never got any letters.” 
the fire crackled once again and you could almost hear a pin drop as you shook your head vehemently at his statement. 
“n-no, no you did. i wrote to you every week, i sent one every week for two years and you never responded and my mother said that you must have forgotten about me…” and you trail off, the tears in your eyes stoning as he furiously wipes at his own eyes, and for the first time since you had seen him fall down when he was a kid, you saw his own tears staining his cheeks. 
“nobody gave me your letters. i thought that you,” he takes a deep breath, tongue poking inside his cheek as he tried to control himself, “i thought that you didn’t care for me anymore.” 
you hug your midsection, your emotions running wild at his words. 
“i was under the impression that you hated me.” you admit, and he looks as though you stabbed him through the heart. if only others could see the powerful warrior now, stripped bare to his conscience and all he could think about was you. 
“why…why would you think such a thing?” you two inch closer without knowing it, longing to touch each other, wanting to know that the other was really there and that this wasn’t a figment of your imaginations. 
“gojo, you could barely looked at me that night at the gala and now it seems as though you, well, look at you - you’re flushed!” you’re grasping at straws, motioning towards his face,  twinged with pink as you rub at your nose, “you seem angry whenever i am near-” 
“the only person i am angry at is myself.” gojo whispers, but his voice echoed around the expanse of your skull. 
“yes, i’m aware,” you feel cold despite the fire in the corner, your tone carrying an air of know as you scorn, “i know the last thing you expected by comforting me was a marriage but-” 
“you think i am angry because i married you?” he was moving closer, his hands shaking, his eyes wet. you could see the ring on his finger glow in the dim light of the fireplace, how it shined brighter than any of the night skies, “the only good thing that has happened to me these last few months was being able to introduce myself as your husband. i know that i stripped you bare of any love you may have had for any other man, but call me selfish for feeling glad that i did.” 
you could barely focus on what was happening, his words sinking deep into your skin, going to your bones. 
“i told myself that you had forgotten about me those years i left. when i saw you that night i was so sure you had come with the intention of finding a suitor that i didn’t want to distract you, but then i saw that man come up to you…” and he couldn’t finish, choking on his words as he stuttered, and you saw a glimpse of the boy you had fallen in love with so long ago. 
“and i followed you out. if i knew that simply being alone with you would have gotten me married to you then i would have cornered you in a closet the moment i saw you enter the dining hall.” 
a tear rolls down your chin, splattering on the ground beneath you as you struggle to make sense of what he was saying. it felt as though the months of being married to him were weeks spent pacing around your own rooms, thinking the same worried thoughts, and not having the strength to confront each other about it. 
“you…you don’t hate me?” your voice is timid, almost not believing yourself as the statement tumbled out. gojo had the audacity to laugh a bit, shaking his head as strands of his hair fell into his face. 
“my every waking moment is spent thinking of you. when i was in training, you were all i could dream about, hoping that when i’d come home i could finally have you to myself. 
“you have control over my emotions, my mind, my soul, and i cursed myself for taking away your options for a husband, but the only thing i’ve wanted to do these past few weeks was to hold you in my arms. to tell you just how deeply i yearn for your love back.” 
he wiped at his cheeks, glistening in the faint light. he looked angelic, despite the grime and blood that decorated his clothing. you didn’t want to think about the men he had killed just to come back, to come back to you, and the thought of ever losing him hurt you more than when you spent nights wondering why he never responded to any of your letters. 
you couldn’t stop your feet from leading you toward him, and you could only watch as he met you in the middle, catching you with all his strength, holding you as if you weighed nothing, and it only took a few seconds before your lips collided. 
it was rushed, and messy as you felt his hands holding you as if you carried the weight of the universe. your teeth clashed, your tears staining each other's skin as your hands gripped at his hair, using it for leverage as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, enjoying the whimper that escaped your lips when he nipped at yours. 
it was what years of longing and desperation felt like. how it felt like you two just molded into each other as if your bodies were cut out with the other in mind. you felt like your heart was about to stop beating, and you knew gojo felt the same with the way he’d whine against your lips, wanting you more than you could have ever imagined. 
“we’ve been stupid people, haven’t we?” you whispered as you pulled away, trying to catch your breath as he smiled against you. if only you knew just how much he’d been wanting to kiss you like this, to see your swollen lips as you looked at him from beneath your eyelashes. you were his venus, his only saving grace, and he could only vex himself for ever making you feel anything but love. 
“very, “ he pressed a kiss to the corner of your eyes, “very,” to your nose, “stupid,” his lips were on your cheeks, feeling like he was breathing in new air at the sound of your laughter, “people.” he pressed his lips to yours again, cherishing in the way you whined at the harshness. 
he had spent months convincing himself that you no longer cared for him. weeks of perilous training to only come back to a bed and dream of a girl who didn’t share his emotions when in reality you did. he wants to track down the letters you had sent him, to read every word carefully, as if each sentence carried its own riddle inside of it. he wanted to apologize for never having the honor of experiencing your skilled penmanship, for leading you to believe that he had simply forgotten about you. 
“gojo,” your fingers curl in his tunic, your heat transferring, trying to be rational in such an irrational state of being, “you’re bleeding, i should call for the doctor.” he didn’t stop kissing your face, moving to your jaw as he smiled hearing you shudder. 
“it’s not my blood,” he murmured and you wanted to smack him for how cocky he sounded, “and don’t call me gojo.” he nipped at your lips again. 
“husband?” you found yourself smiling at the title, but he shook his head. you saw how he was trying to hide his own grin. 
“sire?” you tested it out teasingly, hating how it sounded. he seemed to agree with the way he grimaced at the name. 
“my lord?” he wanted to bottle up your laughter forever, knowing he could get drunk off of the sound. his nose nudged up at your jaw, pressing wet kisses wherever he could. 
“hmm, what about my liege?” you're curling a strand of his hair around your fingers letting him settle you down on your vanity as you spread your legs so he could slot between them. 
“my men call me that.” he says, cringing as it falls off your mouth. you pretend to think, not knowing how you were able to live without this banter for as long as you did. 
“satoru?” you felt breathless saying it after so long. but he still didn’t seem to find it satisfactory enough, a pout on his lips as he wanted you to find a better one. 
“close, but only when you’re angry with me.” you tuck that information in the back of your mind for if you ever need to scold him, your cheeks flushed as he interlocks his fingers through yours. 
“‘toru…?” his lips broke into a giddy smile, and you had to control yourself as he swooped back in for a kiss. his eyes were so much softer when he laughed, the kind ones you fell in love with so many nights ago. 
“there it is,” his voice was husky, raw as your fingers gripped at the baby hairs at his nape. he was taking your air away with him and you couldn’t find it in yourself to fight back for it. 
“i forgot how cheeky you can be,” you bite your lip to keep the moans inside, feeling feverish as his tongue ran over his love marks, not knowing what to do yourself as you scrambled to grab onto something to keep you afloat.
“you have no idea how much self-control it’s taken not to ravage you,” his breath is hot on your skin, and he’s tugging at your shirt, fingers slightly brushing upon your breasts, “every night you’d come down for dinner i wanted something different to eat.”
“stoppp,” you mewled, not used to this. he chuckles as his slender fingers work to untie the knot keeping you together, tugging at the string until it falls, revealing your naked chest, heaving as the fabric pooled at your hips. 
you wanted to cover yourself up under his heavy gaze, to take the fabric and hide, but you felt pierced by his stare. his eyes darted to yours as if checking to see if you were okay. when you gave him a timid nod, it seemed as though it prompted him to finally move. 
his fingers were gentle as they ran across your waist, large as they covered the soft of your stomach, eager as they went upwards. he looked like he was crazed and starved, as if you were his last meal and he couldn’t wait for the sweetness death would give. 
your breath stuttered as his fingers found your mounds, rubbing a soothing thumb over your nipples as his pupils grew. he was eager as he flicked them over and over, a cheshire grin growing as they hardened under his touch. 
“you’re perfect,” he murmured, dropping down so he could suckle at your tits, his spit shining in the light of the fire, and you tilted your head back, soft moans escaping as his tongue drew circles around your buds. 
“f-fuck, ‘toru, that’s,” you couldn’t even finish your sentence, his second hand coming to cup your other tit, not wanting to leave her unattended as he sucked and bruised, wanting to forever leave his mark on your untainted skin. 
“good?” he’s so cocky, and you want to smack the smug smirk off his devilishly handsome face. 
his knee is purposefully rubbing against your clothed clit, and you feel yourself subconsciously rubbing yourself against it. you hope that he can’t feel how drenched you are from him just sucking your tits, but he pinches you, pressing his tongue flat against your skin as he looks up through his lashes.
“horny from just me touching you?” he’s teasing you, it’s so painful the way you want, need him like oxygen. you tug on his hair roughly, bringing his spit-soaked lips back to yours as you bite down on his lower one, enjoying the groan you draw out from him. 
“don’t be mean ‘toru,” you taunt, and you feel him melt in your fingers, nodding to your request as he lowers himself down. 
he presses wet kisses down your torso, stopping just above your hips, his fingers hooking along the rim of your underwear, being careful and slow in his movements as he waits for any objections, making sure you’re okay with this. 
but you were in your own world, hitching your leg over his shoulders, drawing him in closer to you, sweat dotting your forehead as he licks a stripe over the cotton on your pussy, smiling to himself at the taste of you. 
you were so sweet, sweeter than any desert he’d indulge himself on. he was sure that once he had a taste of you he’d be able to repent, to go before any god, and to tell them that you were his religion.
he had spent countless nights, tossing and turning in his bed, the only thing putting him to sleep being the idea of coming home to you. running after you that night was him running home to you, regardless of where you were. he was glad he got your hand in marriage, but if he had to, he’d wait another ten years just to hold you in his arms again.
he peels your underwear off, a string of your arousal connecting to it, and he tucks it in his pants, for safekeeping. 
“you’re going to be the death of me.” he says against your heat, his nose rubbing against your clit as your eyes wring shut in pleasure. his hands grip your thighs, making sure you stay in place as he kitten licks around where you need him the most. 
“don’t let…don’t let any of your enemies hear,” your voice comes out in bits, your hand resting on the back of his head as your leg tightens around him, “don’t want them to come after me or something.” 
he snorts, pinching your thighs as if anybody could come within a ten feet radius of you without losing an eye. 
his lips come closer to where you desperately want him, a finger prodding at your tight entrance, his tongue finding your clit as he begins to suck. 
it’s all too much, the sensations far better than your own fingers have ever proved to be. 
his fingers are skilled, long enough that they reach deep within you. he sinks one fully in, your walls clamping around him as he continues sucking your clit, his teeth grazing it every so often, making your head thump against the wall. 
“talk to me, how do you feel?” his mouth discontented from your bud and you whine at the loss. he sinks in another finger to make up for it, but he doesn’t move them, waiting for your response. 
“‘s good,” one of your hands is fisting your discarded robe, trying to hold onto your senses as you desperately nod, “don’t stop ‘toru, please,” and he obliges, loving the sounds of your begging, but loving the sound of your pleasures more. 
his fingers stretch you open and you welcome the sting, your nails digging into him as you long for more. 
he switches his mouth with his hand every now and then, his tongue taking the place of his fingers as it licks at you, groaning at your taste as he eats you out with his entire being, his chin shining with your essence and his spit as his thumb rubs furiously at your clit. 
“mmhhh, just like that, fuck!” you’ve never heard your voice at this pitch, never knew it was possible to feel this way. his other hand reaches up to flick at your nipple, the extra sensation making white dot around your vision. 
you feel yourself getting closer to the sweet release, feel your wall clamp around him even tighter as that knot in your stomach builds to a crescendo. 
“come on, let go f’me, know you want to, know you can.” he spurs you on, his fingers unrelenting as they piston in and out of you, reaching that gummy spot that makes you go dumb.
“fuck, ‘toru, m’gonna, m’gonna come!” you cry out and you’re sure anybody walking past you could hear the debauchery. your thighs were starting to shake and you felt it all go black as you reached your high, your orgasm washing over you unlike anything you’ve ever felt. 
you creamed around his fingers, gushing around him as you wailed out, tears dotting your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure you were feeling. you squeezed around him, wanting to never lose what this felt like, trying to catch your breath as his mouth never stopped sucking at your nub before he was sure your climax was over. 
when he finally pulled away the only thing that could be heard was the two of you, trying to come back down as stupid smiles made their way onto each of your faces. 
he was boyishly charming as he stood in front of you, licking yourself off of his fingers as he grinned at the taste. you couldn’t be bothered to be embarrassed after having him just between your legs, but you still felt a heat blossom in your chest. 
“so…” you awkwardly start, sweat dripping down your face from just how hot the room had suddenly gotten as you avert your gaze, “what now?” 
he shrugged nonchalantly, despite the fact that his heart was about to beat it’s way out of his chest. you let him pick you off of the vanity and tucked you safely away into his chest as he led you to your bed, gently setting you down in your mountain of pillows and blankets as you felt sleep etch away at you. 
“i’m going to clean you up,” he pressed a kiss to your hair, smiling at the way you giddy smiled at whatever he did, a dopey grin on your face as your hand searched for his, interlocking you fingers with his as if you didn’t want to watch him go, “if you let me.” 
you yawn, your head tilting as he sat down at the edge of your bed, still not letting go of your hand as your fingers run through the soft pelts beneath you. 
“and what about you?” your chin points the obvious hard-on growing in his pants. he looks down as if suddenly realizing, and he plays it off by looking back up to you with a wink. you felt your mouth going dry at the size of it, not knowing if you could even be able to take something as big as that. 
“for another day,” he promises, and you’re sure he’s not going to forget it. not like you want him to.
“and then?” 
your question lingers in the air. you don’t want to wake up to him acting like this never happened, as if your feelings were only a figment of your wildest dreams. but his eyes hold onto yours, never letting go as he brushes some strays away from your face. 
“and then i get a bigger bed for my room because there’s no way i’m letting you sleep here alone after this.” his thumb runs along the palm of your hand, his fingers tracing patterns into the soft of your legs. 
“and then?” 
“and then you tell me all the things i missed out on when i was gone. i’ll tell you about the time suguru shaved my head, and you’ll tell me about anything on your mind.” 
“what if i run out of things to say?” sleep is overtaking your voice, and you’re already nodding off, not even truly knowing what you were asking. 
“then i’ll make up stories so that you’re not bored.” he finds a clean towel, soaking it in water from a nearby pitcher as he drags it slowly across your body, as if your fragile and made of porcelain. 
“how do i know you’re not a dream? you might just be,” you yawn, rubbing at your eyes as your finger traces his ring, “you might just be my own mind tricking me.” your eyes are shutting, but the teasing smile on your face never leaves. 
“because a dream wouldn’t hide under a table with you if you asked.” he whispers, kissing your lips with a soft peck as he pulls the blanket over you, letting you sleep into a slumber as he crawls in next to you, holding you to his chest just as he did that night, just as he will every night from now on, and just as he longed for those nights he wished you next to him.
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taeyongdoyoung ¡ 10 months ago
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daddy's home
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summary: boyfriendless, jobless and hopeless, you rush to take the first opportunity you find, which is a nanny position. but the kids are not the only ones you grow fond of... pairing: seungcheol x reader genre: fluff, smut, single dad x nanny AU warnings: kids (triggering, i know), age gap (unspecified), mentions of past cheating, abandonment issues, potential therapy, male masturbation, confessions, blowjob, kissing, eating out, protected sex (unbelievable), dirty talk, size kink, pet names (sweetheart, angel, darling, little girl), sir+daddy kink, unprotected sex (with baby-making goal), breeding kink, creampie, more kids (sorry im ovulating) author's note: this is loosely based on the sitcom the nanny in that there's a single dad with three kids but minus the dead wife trope cuz that's too depressing for my tastes word count: 4.3k
You are desperate. Your shitty boyfriend cheated on you, broke up with you and you also lost your job. So it’s been a couple of terrible weeks. Now, you would take pretty much any kind of job as long as it pays enough for you to afford food and the bills. ASAP.
Single dad looks for a live-in nanny for his three kids. Full-time with Sundays off. Contact this number for more details.
Okay, truth be told, you’ve never considered yourself as someone who is good with kids. But how hard can it be? Have you mentioned you’re desperate?
“Listen, Miss L/N,” Mr. Choi, your potential future employer starts. “I appreciate your enthusiasm but I’m not just going to hire you. I’m looking for someone with experience.”
“Well, I have a bunch of nephews, if they turned out alright under my care, then I guess that counts for something,” you chuckle.
“That’s very nice but I’m talking about professional experience. Have you been a nanny before?”
“Technically, no, but how can I get experience if you won’t hire me?”
“Touché,” Mr. Choi laughs.
“How about a trial period? Let me spend some time with your kids under your supervision and prove myself capable.”
Mr. Choi nods reluctantly.
“Well, you’re in luck since my little goblins have driven away five nannies in the past month.”
Oh, dear. Five nannies…And here you were thinking this could be an easy job.
“So, what’s one more?” you chuckle nervously and Mr. Choi shakes your hand, agreeing to give you a chance.
You are excited when meeting his kids. The eldest daughter - Chaerry is 15, very elegant and polite. You think that you’ll have no problems with her and you’ll have lots to talk about. The middle child and only son - Dino is 10, extremely mischievous and loud. You’ll definitely have problems. Finally, the youngest daughter, Elsie, is 5, she’s such a cutie but leaves a mess of her toys everywhere she goes. It’s easy to trip if you’re not careful, but nothing you can’t handle.
The trial period goes by in a flash. Dino attempts to get on your nerves by pulling pranks like hiding fake spiders in your bag and spraying your outfit with ketchup, but you accept all that with an easygoing laugh. Elsie constantly asks you to play with her toys and you need an unlimited source of ideas to keep up with her wild imagination, but it feels more like fun than a job. Chaerry is quiet and doesn’t share much at the beginning but eventually tells you about this boy at school she has a crush on. So, you count that as a success.
“I must admit, Miss L/N, I had some worries at first but seeing how quickly my kids accepted you is remarkable,” Mr. Choi shares his observations with you at the end of the trial period.
“So, am I hired, then?” you beam with excitement.
“Absolutely, yes. The kids have taken a liking to you and changing nannies so often is probably not great for them, either.”
“So true. Kids need stability and I would be happy to stick around for as long as you’ll have me, Mr. Choi,” you are thrilled not only because you will have a bed to sleep, food to eat and money to spend, but because you are genuinely looking forward to spending more time with these little munchkins.
And spend time with them you do. You're not sure what exactly it is that makes the kids warm up to you, but whatever the reason, it's working.
With Chaerry, you talk about boys and high school drama and make-up. On one occasion, she tells you something that sincerely touches you.
“Thank you for being my best friend, Y/N. I know I shouldn't keep stuff from my dad, but he can be so overprotective sometimes it's difficult to talk about...well, going on dates with boys, mostly.”
“Aww, Chae, you can tell me anything. It'll be our little secret,” you give her a wink, followed by a hug.
You're not exactly sure what the correct response here is. But you'll make sure to maintain some kind of balance - both look after her safety so that Mr. Choi sleeps peacefully at night and not betray Chaerry's trust in you.
With Dino, after the initial phase of silly pranks passes, you notice that he's become more honest and calm.
“You won't leave us like our mom and all the other nannies did, will you?” he asks you one afternoon as you're watching TV together.
You haven't asked Mr. Choi what exactly happened with these kids' mother because frankly, it's none of your business, but something is telling you they're a lot more hurt than they let on.
“I'm not going anywhere, Dino,” you promise, though really, it's up to Mr. Choi to decide that.
“Good. It would really suck if you left.”
That's a lot, coming from the kid who damaged like half of your wardrobe with all kinds of sauces.
With Elsie, another strange situation takes place due to the fact that the kid has no filter.
“Let's play family!”
“Um, okay,” you agree without thinking much.
“This will be daddy,” Elsie points at a stuffed lion plushie and then grabs a tiger plushie, “And this is you, mommy!”
“Oh, honey. I'm not your mommy,” you try to explain as gently as possible.
“But can you be? Daddy says our mommy left and has a new family somewhere else.”
Okay, that's a lot to unpack here. Though you don't think it is your place, you'll need to have a conversation with Mr. Choi, because the kids obviously have some kind of unresolved trauma...
One evening, after the kids have gone to sleep, instead of going to your room, you wait in the living room for your employer to come back from work, so you can approach the subject as delicately as you can.
“Good evening, Miss L/N. Kids go to bed?” he greets you as he takes off his coat.
“Evening, Mr. Choi. Yes, they did. I was wondering if we can have a chat. It can be a sensitive topic, I'm sure, but for the sake of the kids, I think it's important.”
Mr. Choi nods and takes a seat next to you on the couch.
“About their mother...”
“I was wondering how long it'd take you to bring that up,” he chuckles bitterly. “Other nannies wanted me to spill the tea on day one.”
“Wow, seriously?”
“It's not like it's this big secret, I just prefer not to talk about it unless absolutely necessary. My ex-wife...cheated on me and got pregnant by another man, so we had a divorce and I kept the kids, because she said she wants to start anew with this other guy, and...well, the kids said this is their home and that they won't move. So, I suppose the judge took that under consideration.”
“My God. I had no idea.”
“You couldn't have known, considering I just said I don't enjoy revisiting those painful memories.”
“Yes, of course, I only meant that...I guess it explains some things. Forgive me for saying this, but I think the kids have some kind of abandonment issues. Elsie and Dino, in particular, they seem to have a fear that I'll leave just like...well, their mom and the other nannies.”
“And are you? Leaving, I mean.”
“Not if I can help it. Mr. Choi, your kids are very vibrant and precious to me. I genuinely love my job. But I'm worried that what happened with your ex-wife affected them more than they show. Maybe you should look into therapy?”
“I will definitely take that into consideration. Thank you for your candour, Miss L/N.”
“You're most welcome.”
“What about Chaerry?”
“What about her?”
“You said that Elsie and Dino express these abandonment issues. Does Chaerry not have them?”
“She probably does, but at the moment she's too busy thinking about boys.”
“Boys? At her tender age? I don't think so,” Mr. Choi immediately goes into ultra alpha protective dad mode and you honestly find it kind of funny. And hot.
“Oh, relax, Mr. Choi. It's just typical high school drama. There's nothing to be worried about.”
He shakes his head disapprovingly.
“I'm counting on you. Does it ever occur to you how quickly they grow up?”
“I suppose it's more difficult for you. I've only known them for a few months but I think I get what you mean.”
“Yeah...How strange, it feels like you've been part of this family forever.”
You try not to think too deeply about it. He...considers you part of this family. Elsie called you mommy. Dino doesn't want you to leave. And Chaerry talks to you about boys. A topic, which girls usually discuss with their mothers. Oh, sweet heavens. Maybe, this nanny gig is becoming more than a job...
One Monday Mr. Choi texts you not to come to work this Saturday, as the kids will be spending some time with their grandparents (aka Mr. Choi's parents). However, the moment you receive the text, you're too busy trying to escape from Dino who is chasing you with a water gun in the garden. So, you somehow forget to put it down in your calendar.
Saturday arrives and poor Mr. Choi thinks you'd be in your own apartment. Finally, some peace and quiet. His parents picked up the kids early in the morning to go to the park with them so he's all alone and free to do as he pleases.
But alas, you go down the stairs of Mr. Choi's enormous house and make your way to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for the kids. However, it's too quiet. Hm, how strange. Maybe, they're not awake yet? You shrug as you pour some milk and cereal in a bowl.
Oh, you hear some noise from the living room. Is that the TV? Your curiosity gets the better of you and you enter it only to find Mr. Choi in a very compromising position. He is touching himself, watching very obscene things on the big screen!
You are on the verge of chastising your boss for doing something like that in the living room, where the kids could walk in any minute, when you remember. The kids...They're with their grandparents today. Which means that...Fuck, you're not supposed to be here. You should be at your own apartment instead of being witness to...your very sexy and very single employer taking care of his needs.
You are going to sneak back into the kitchen and wait for a more appropriate time to leave the house when you hear it. At first you think you're hallucinating but then you hear it twice. Your name.
“Y/N...please, let me-” Mr. Choi moans, his eyes closed, he is unaware of your presence.
However, he doesn't get to finish his sentence because you are so shocked that you drop the bowl of cereal, which shatters on the ground with a loud noise.
“Fuck, I'm so so sorry,” you murmur nervously as your boss finally notices you watching him.
His cheeks flushed, his lips pouting, he is the most adorable you've ever seen him. He hurries to tuck his cock back into his pants and turn off the TV.
“N-no, I'm sorry...Miss L/N, what are you doing here?”
Oh, so you're Miss L/N now...Very well, then.
“I apologize. It must have slipped my mind that the kids are with their grandparents today.”
“It must have,” Mr. Choi repeats coldly, obviously embarrassed by this situation.
You wonder if you should tell him what you heard. Would that be unprofessional? But then again, he is the one who said your name, so...what is professional anyway?
“Do you want me to leave?”
He sighs deeply.
“What's the point? You already saw me...fuck, I feel so humiliated.”
“Why would you feel humiliated? Am I so undesirable that my presence immediately turned you off?” you ask bluntly.
“That's not the case and you know it.”
“I'm not sure I know anything anymore,” you admit. “You...said my name. How is that supposed to make me feel?”
“You were never meant to hear that,” Mr. Choi hides his face behind his hands, the redness refusing to leave his complexion.
“But I did. So, what now?”
“Please, don't quit. I realize that what I did is unforgivable but...the kids care about you so much, it would devastate them to lose you.”
“I wasn't even thinking of quitting. But...are the kids the only ones who care about me?” you need to know.
“No...As it so happens, I care about you.”
“So, stop hiding from me,” you don't know where that boldness comes from as you grab his wrists and remove his hands, so you can look at his face. Fuck, he's so pretty.
“You're not...grossed out by me?” Mr. Choi blinks at you in surprise.
“Kinda flattered, actually,” you confess. “But I'd like it much better if you let me take care of your frustrations.”
“You would?” he is unable to believe his luck when you drop on your knees in front of him and take him out of his pants again, engulfing his cock with your pretty mouth. “Y/N...”
The way he says your name is enough to make you even more enthusiastic, sucking him deeper and bobbing your head to the best of your abilities. He grips your hair tightly and you make sure not a drop is spilled as you swallow his cum down your throat. You wipe off your lips and sit down next to him, unsure of what to do next.
“Mr. Choi...”
“Call me Cheol, please.”
“Cheol...may I kiss you?”
Seungcheol doesn't respond and instead kisses you passionately, grabbing your face with his hands. His tongue is exploring your mouth in ways you'd never imagined could bring so much pleasure and you can't resist the urge to sit in his lap. Somehow, against all reason, he's hard again, as you grind against him. Fuck. He's so hot and sweet and amazing you just want to make him happy. How anyone could cheat on this fine man is beyond you.
“Um...not to assume or anything, but do you have a condom?” you ask sheepishly.
“I do, yes,” Seungcheol goes to his coat and brings a package.
“I mean, don't get me wrong, I love kids, but I think we should be responsible considering this is our first time together and you already have three of your own,” you're probably talking too much but oh well. Better safe than sorry.
“No, I understand. You're totally right.”
“Will you fuck me?” you inquire.
“Here? On the couch?�� Seungcheol is in disbelief.
“Well...you were touching yourself here, but I guess it's whatever. Your home, after all.”
He chuckles, suddenly embarrassed again.
“Come on, let's go to my room.”
Seungcheol offers you his hand and you follow him upstairs excitedly. Is this really happening? Are you seriously going to do this with your boss?
He lifts your chin up because he notices you're not meeting his eyes out of nervousness.
“Look at me,” he commands you easily and you're on the verge of falling apart and he hasn't even undressed you yet. The power this man holds over you... “We don't have to do this if you're not ready.”
“It's not that. I do want this. It's just...I don't remember if I told you but I was also cheated on. A little before I came to work here. And like, I haven't been intimate for a while, so I'm nervous. What if I mess something up?”
“Okay, first of all, give me that asshole's address, I just wanna talk. And second of all...darling, I haven't been intimate since way before my divorce took place. Trust me, I'm a lot more nervous than you right now.”
You shake your head.
“Whatever you do, I'm sure I'll find it like super hot.”
Seungcheol laughs and tilts his head, kissing you again.
“You're so cute,” he whispers against your mouth. “I can't wait to ruin you.”
And just like that, it's as if a switch is flipped. He pushes you onto the bed and leans above you menacingly, a devilish smirk painting his pretty face. Seungcheol pushes your dress up hurriedly, touching you all over.
“You really thought you could get away with it, huh? Walking around my house in those dresses of yours looking so sexy? Tempting me?”
“N-no, s-sir,” you murmur, not knowing where the title is coming from.
“God, I'm such a cliché. An old man unable to resist the gorgeous young nanny...”
“You're not old, sir,” you try to reassure him. You're not sure if he's just engaging in dirty talk or is actually having some insecurities. He's still young in your eyes. Whatever the case, you're there for him.
“Don't lie to me, sweetheart. I'm too old for ya...I have three kids. What do you have, hm?” Seungcheol speaks while caressing your pussy through your panties.
“I have you, sir,” you smile and palm his dick teasingly.
He sighs wistfully and buries his head between your folds, licking and teasing until you're a soaking mess for him.
“S-sir, p-please...C-cheol, don't stop,” you cry out helplessly.
It feels so good, too good. He holds you down, hands gripping your thighs as you cum against his tongue. He barely gives you any time to recover as he rolls up a condom on his cock. You stare at him hungrily, impatient to have him inside of you.
Seungcheol is like the drug everyone warned you about. Once you have him, you won't be able to quit.
“Are you ready?” he asks softly in sharp contrast with his previous behaviour.
“Please take me, Cheol,” you would beg if you had to.
And take you he does, entering you deeply with his big cock.
“Fuck, you're so tight, barely fitting me in,” he speaks, stroking your clit in circular motions with his thumb, while he fucks you harshly.
“It's okay, I won't break, sir,” you try to convince him.
“What if I want you to break, little girl?” Seungcheol inquires, his voice half-joking, half-serious, as he.
“Then, I'd be happy to serve you, daddy,” the word slips from your lips before you could think twice about it.
“Daddy, huh? You need daddy to make you cum?” you are grateful he plays along instead of making fun of you in this very vulnerable moment.
“Yes, daddy, please, I'll do anything for you,” you promise in a daze.
“Cum for me, sweet girl, let daddy take care of you,” his deep voice is enough to bring you to the edge.
“Fuuuck, daddy...Cheol,” you mumble repeatedly, as white appears before your eyes.
You're shaking in his arms but it feels like flying.
“I've got you, angel, daddy's right here,” Seungcheol comforts you, as he rides out his own high, spilling inside the condom. Then, taking it off and throwing it in the garbage bin, he hurries back to you.
You make grabby hands at him and he envelops you in a hug.
“I'm here, sweetheart,” he kisses your forehead gently and you melt against his chest.
“Cheol...I think you just murdered me a little,” you laugh.
“Well, then, I better make sure I revive you, because I can't imagine my life without you.”
“Good. You ain't getting rid of me.”
“That sounds perfect because me and the kids would like you to stick around.”
“Oh God, the kids! What time are they coming back?”
“We've got time, don't worry, they should-”
“Daaaad, we're home!” you hear Dino's loud voice from downstairs.
“Fuck,” Cheol curses under his breath and the two of you hurry to make yourselves look somewhat presentable.
Once dressed and back in the living room, you can only hope that you're not too obvious about what went down. However, you can't stop yourself from glancing at Seungcheol and he's just as flustered as you.
“Oh, hi, Y/N,” Dino greets you as if it's completely normal for you to be there. As if you belong.
“How was your time with your grandparents?” you ask, trying to act casual.
“We had so much ice cream!” Elsie squeals excitedly.
“Grandma and Grandpa took us to the park,” Chaerry starts telling you about everything they did in great detail and you are glad that the shy girl you first met is becoming a confident young woman.
Elsie is asking for more ice cream but Seungcheol is explaining that it's lunch time. Dino is painting the table with mustard and honestly, that's so on brand for him...
It is funny where desperation brought you. You realize this is the happiest you've been in a while.
Later, when Seungcheol catches you alone after spending the afternoon with the kids, he asks:
“I know we kinda messed up the proper order of things, but...would you like to go on a date with me?”
“Oh! I'd love that, Cheol. Is it okay to still call you that?”
“Yeah, it's alright.”
“What about in front of the kids? I'm not sure to what point you'd like to mix professional with...personal life.”
“In front of the kids is okay, too,” he laughs, scratching the back of his head. “Actually, do you know what Elsie keeps asking me?”
“What?”
“When will you make Y/N my new mommy?”
“Yeah, that definitely sounds like something Elsie would say.”
“So, um, no pressure. But I think you're more than the nanny to me.”
“Well, I would certainly hope so. I didn't raise you, mister!”
Seungcheol can't miss the opportunity for a joke. He takes hold of your hand and places it on top of his...very hard dick.
“You raised him, though,” he whispers.
“Mr. Choi!” you hiss, scandalized. “I mean...Cheol.”
“Did you mean daddy?” Seungcheol teases you relentlessly.
“Stop it, you deviant!” you shake your head. “Fuck, you'll never let me live this down, will ya?”
“Do you kiss your boss with that mouth?” he smirks.
“Don't mind if I do,” you reply and bring your lips to his.
A year passes by quickly. You love every day of your life. Whether it'll be spending time with the kids, or going on fun dates with your boss turned boyfriend, or having mind-blowing sex with said specimen, you are truly happy with how things turned out for the best.
With one tiny thing missing.
“Cheol, can I ask you something?” you mumble one evening, as you are playing with his soft, fluffy hair.
“Of course, sweetheart,” Seungcheol turns towards you, giving you his fullest attention.
“Have you ever thought about having more kids?”
“Hmm, it hasn't crossed my mind. I already have three kids. But it depends. Is that something you're interested in?”
“Not till now. But if it's with you, I'd love to have a kid,” you confess shyly.
“Well, then, let's make you a mommy,” Seungcheol quickly makes it his mission and for the first time, doesn't use a condom.
“Yes, please, daddy, give me your cum,” you moan wantonly, as he fucks you deep.
“Take it like the good girl you are, I'll give you all I've got, fuck a baby in ya,” he grunts in your ear, sounding even more excited than you are.
“I love it, feel so full,” you whimper and can't stop kissing him. You can't believe this beautiful man is yours and wants to give you another present.
“That's right, sweetheart, I'll stuff you full of it,” he moans and releases himself inside you. Your walls clench around him, pulling him deeper, as you reach your high.
Seungcheol gently pushes the cum that's spilling out of your pussy back inside and lifts your legs up.
“Do you think it'll stick?” you ask doubtfully.
“Can't hurt to try again until it does,” he shrugs, determined to succeed.
Nine months later, as you welcome the twins into the family, you realize you've never expected to achieve so much happiness.
“You really had to outdo yourself and give me not one but two babies,” you playfully push Seungcheol's shoulder.
“Is it too late now to say sorry?” he grins nervously.
“Don't be. I'm more than satisfied. But you'll have to give me a raise!”
“I'll give you something better than that,” Seungcheol promises and pulls a diamond ring out of his pocket.
“Oh my God,” you are in shock.
“Y/N...you've given me more than I could ever hope to deserve. You started off as a nanny but you became my three kids' best friend and now, the mother of two more angels. You became my closest person, my source of joy, my sweetheart. Knowing that I can come home to you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Will you do me the absolute honour of becoming my wife?”
“Yes, of course, yes!” you say through your tears and kiss him, as he slides the ring on your finger.
“Can I call you mommy now?” Elsie peeks her adorable head behind the door, followed by Dino and Chaerry, who are all excited by the good news.
“Congratulations, Y/N!” Chaerry greets you with a hug and whispers: “Thanks for taking one for the team and making our lonely old man. happy.”
“Hey, I heard that!” Seungcheol complains loudly.
Dino jumps on the back of his dad with a loud squeal.
“You better treat her right, Dad!” the boy warns. “Or I'll ketchup your room!”
“Why do I feel like I'm the one being welcomed into the family?” Seungcheol bemoans his fate but he's never smiled wider.
“You'll get used to it,” you joke. “Come on, guys, meet your new brother and sister.”
“Hii, babies!” Elsie and Dino jump excitedly around the twins.
“Oh, they're so cute! Aren't they so cute, Dad?” Chaerry coos at the babies.
“They are, but it's too early for you to think about how cute babies are. Look at me...I already have five. Isn't it tragic?” Seungcheol keeps messing around.
“It could have been twelve or something,” you play along.
“I can't imagine,” Seungcheol cries out indignantly. But deep down, maybe he can.
The End
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racke7 ¡ 4 months ago
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Huh. I actually managed to finish Divinity 2 for once.
#it took me 46 hours? supposedly? and in hindsight i remembered a bunch of shit that i didn't do#didn't manage to finish the devourer-armor (there was a bug in Act 3 so i couldn't get all of the pieces)#forgot about the dwarven-sacrifice area in Act 2. forgot about the sallow-man in Act 3.#pretty sure i also missed out on a bunch of fights along the way bcs i've completely forgotten how to do anything but Act 1#''optimally''. bcs it's been literal years since last i played it this far.#the final battle was also a massive anti-climax bcs... everyone is kind of weak#like. i nearly got a TPK when that ''child'' ambushed me right before. only survived bcs of Comeback-Kid AND Idol-of-Rebirth#so i was a bit wary of the final fight. and then... 2 characters took down dallis in their first turn#and then the other 2 characters took down braccus in THEIR first turn. and that was despite me getting hit with plague in between#so... yeah. it reminded me that my build is actually incredibly OP. but also that armor in this game is so fucking shit.#like. if i'm wearing FULL DIVINE MAX-LEVEL ARMOR and someone can ONE-SHOT ME THROUGH THAT?#then what's the fucking point of having any armor at all? right? except if you survive with a fucking sliver of health?#then suddenly you'll be back to full-health bcs of the inherent health-drain when you murder the shit out of them in retaliation#sooo... yeah. a very anticlimactic fight. and also kind of... meh.#it's fun designing a character. it's fun making up a strong build with synergy.#it's not fun to actually try to roleplay as your character. bcs the game actually kind of railroads you on that part too#(my undead dwarf who hates the queen? met the queen and had 3/4 options to ''be polite'' and a 1/4 option to not care)#(this despite that by the time i met her? i had EVERY REASON to be going ''i know what you're up to - and i'll kill you right now'')#(but noooo. can't allow players to be impolite to the royalty. what if the commoners don't understand their place?)#(not to mention the many ''flavor-text'' RP-exchanges between the player-characters commenting on things)#(where you're options amount to ''torn but positive'' and ''torn but negative'' with very few ''polarized'' options)#(or the fact that a lot of those dialogue-options are semi-randomized so there ARE options and you don't get to pick them)#and it isn't fun to OUTFIT your character. bcs you're either reliant on uniques for your Super-Special-Builds(TM)#or you're reliant on RNG-bullshit to get good gear from the shops (or you use a save-editor to specially craft them manually)#(which is the only reason i could bring myself to play this far along tbh. and even then the RNG is kind of frustrating?)#(bcs the different ''boosts'' are only semi-randomized. it's based on the ''level'' of the boost. and if you want to follow the game's)#(way of doing things? then there's a bunch of very-useful boosts that you can't have. bcs you have to pick only one)#and combat can be either tedious or anticlimactic with very little in-between (since either you one-shot them. or they one-shot you)#and... i'm gonna be real with you here. i understand wholeheartedly why upon finishing this game the first time around?#i just immediately turned around and started playing skyrim again instead. it's just not really a LIVED IN kind of experience you know?
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starktonyx ¡ 1 month ago
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Would you still love me if I was a worm? - John Walker x reader
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Word count: 1.1k
Description: You hit John with a stupid question, he takes it too seriously.
Note: I swear this man is so intense he’s so fun to write, enjoy🫶🏼
Masterlist / Bucky’s version
"Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
The question caught him off guard.
He was piloting the team's jet to mission site, big hands gripping the controls steadily. You were in the copilot seat, feet relaxing on the dashboard, enjoying a little too much the way he looked controlling the aircraft.
His eyes were locked on the sky ahead, with a tense jaw and those furrowed brows of his... lord, concentration looked good on him.
Almost too good.
So, naturally, you had to stop it before you jumped on top of your man and gave a free show to everyone on the jet.
John just blinked twice. What on earth was that question?
He didn’t glance your way, or even bother to give it a second thought before he replied.
"No."
You opened your mouth offended, and straightened up in your seat.
"John! You didn't even think about it" You whined, a soft laugh followed.
"Please tell me I didn’t hear you right, did you say a worm?" He asked, not even trying to hide the most bewildered expression you'd ever seen on him.
"You heard me, John" You squint your eyes at him, and insist, “would you still love me if I turned into a little worm?"
He sighed this time, taking his hand off the dashboard to rub his face like he just lost multiple brain cells.
"Honey, why would you ever be a worm?" He said, softer now, like he needed to understand the root cause before proceeding.
You roll your eyes, here we go again. Of course he needed it to make sense, his brain didn’t function right if there wasn’t a logical reason behind everything.
"I really don't now, babe. Some sort of mutation?… maybe witchcraft? … a gone wrong experiment Val does on me?”
“I would never let Val experiment on you” He denied, shrugging like why would you ever consider that as a possibility.
You pause for a second and tilt your head to the side, feeling a sudden warmth in your chest from his comment.
No, no, focus. You can kiss him breathless later, after he answers the worm question.
“Alright Walker that’s fair, love that, nice move” You nodded, squinting playfully at him.
He just smirked and shrugged, smug bastard.
“Not the point, though. Do you really think it would be so crazy that I could be a worm when we have at least two superheroes named after bugs?”
He looked back to the sky, considering it for a second, but quickly turned to you again with his eyebrows raised.
“Well, actually, spiderman is technically an arachnid so ... not a bug honey" He corrected, not even trying to hide his maddening little mansplaining smirk.
"Oh shut up, John" You rolled your eyes, slapping his arm, he chuckled. "Uh huh, whatever smartass, you still have to answer. What if I was a worm, then?"
He groaned, placing his thumb and index fingers in the dent of his closed eyes, shaking his head in defeat.
He could at least try to make some sense of it.
“Okay, we’re doing this” He muttered, and you nodded enthusiastically. “Is it still you, but worm shaped? As in … do you still have consciousness? Can you communicate with me? Would you have powers, or is it just …”
He just went rambling on.
You leaned back in your seat, chuckling as you watched the gears turning behind those handsome, stressed out eyes. He was running through scenarios, possibilities, variables.
At least he looked cute while losing his mind over it.
But then, he stopped rambling, like an idea just popped in his head.
"Wait … what kind of worm?" He tilts his head to the side.
I’ll be dammed, you thought, this man didn’t know how to go halfway about anything in his life, ever.
He was fully invested by now.
"What? what do you mean?”
Now it was your turn to furrow your brows.
"What kind of worm, honey? an earthworm? marine? are you symbiotic? regenerative?… This is crucial information to know" He said, listing types like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
How did he even care this much about worm lore?
“You are the most intense person I know” You groaned, staring at him in disbelief.
“And you are the most unserious one I know, honey, don’t get me started”
You just huffed. How did your stupid question get this far?
"God I don't know John, just like a basic worm… in the dirt"
He thinks for moment, like he wasn’t exactly pleased with the answer.
"So then, biologically, you’d lose everything. You would have no brain, no higher reasoning or communication. Technically, you wouldn't even know I exist anymore"
You glared at him.
"But you would know it’s me" You quickly justified, but it didn’t seem to convince him much. "Oh my god John ... just answer the question babe. Would you still love me?"
He tapped his chin a few times, eyes darting around the jet’s cabin, still trying to find a somewhat logical answer in his head. Making you wait for it.
You knew that little asshole was just having fun mocking you.
"Uhm, I guess I could keep you safe … yeah” He nodded. “Build you a little enclosure with some nice quality dirt. It would have to be temperature controlled, for sure. Maybe even ask Val to build you a reinforced travel case? something I can clip to my gear.”
You blinked a few times, before nodding. A win is a win.
"...Thanks?"
But he was quick to shake his head.
"Although honestly, sounds like a lot of emotional labor. Don’t you think our relationship is complicated enough already?" He protested, like it'd be too much fuss.
"Hey!" You laughed, smacking his shoulder.
You both fall into a chuckle. He shakes his head again, but there's a grin in his face now.
From the back of the jet, you heard the unmistakable sound of suppressed laughter.
"Even if she was a brainless worm, she’d still be more emotionally mature than Walker" Bucky whispered to the group.
Muffled laughter followed, like a group of schoolgirls gossiping.
"They are the weirdest, I swear to god" Ava muttered, watching the way you giggled at something John said like he was the most charming idiot on earth.
"Ah captain romance … don’t you see it? he’s worm nerd and she’s worm he takes care of" Alexei chimed in.
“Shh!” Yelena hushed him, snorting. “Honestly, it tracks guys. He gives off strong ‘I talk to my houseplants’ vibes”
“Yeah, watch him hang a ‘Worm Boyfriend of the Year’ plaque next to his service medals” Bucky sneered.
More giggles. At this point they weren’t even trying to be quiet.
John turned halfway in his seat. “You guys know I can hear you, right?”
“That’s the point” Ava said, flipping him off.
“Oh no” Yelena deadpanned. “What are you gonna do, worm boy?”
“Shh! He’s gonna clip us to his belt too.”
That set them off again.
John just rolled his eyes, turning back to the controls. But you noticed the faint hint of a smile on his face.
And then almost under his breath, only for you to hear.
“I’d still love you” He muttered.
You looked over at him.
“What?”
“Nothing. Eyes on the sky.”
You smirked.
This time you did jump on his lap to kiss him breathlessly, while your teammates threw disgusted grunts and gagged sounds at you.
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comments and reblogs save author’s lives, thank you so much for reading <3
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bitterreid ¡ 18 days ago
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🍏 I mean camaraderie! 🍏
REQUEST summary: When Spencer suddenly gets scared he's too vanilla in bed and he (quite clumsily) tries his hand at being more dominant, you quickly assure him that you love his sweet and gentle ways. Cue cutesy sex <3
wordcount: 4k (I got carried away)
content warnings: smut! MDNI! dirty talk, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected piv, talking about feelings/sex, fem!reader gets called names containing 'girl', it's a build-up but the smut is worth it guys, promise, (((Also a little extra warning: doing the things or reading the books reader says she doesn't like is completely fine!! :) this is just lovey-dovey smut hihi)))
A/N: This is the first request I've ever gotten and I am STOKED. I had a lot of fun writing this because at times I genuinely felt like Spencer here, completely out of my depth hahahaha, i literally had to google "bad spicy booktok quotes" for this lolll :') great request, I hope you enjoy, my dear anon!! :) (everyone else, feel free to request!!)
🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏
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Spencer had just been… curious, okay? He had just seen one too many girls on the subway, on the train, in the park, in a café, everywhere, it seemed, reading that book. That stupid book. "Dark Fantasy" the back had read. Spencer hadn't known what to imagine. The Middle Ages? Anyway, the cover had stuck in his brain. Stupid eidetic memory. 
So, the next time he found himself in a bookstore, it wasn't his fault he gravitated towards the familiar dark purple cover art. He had picked it up idly, innocently, just flipped through it absentmindedly. He swore. It's not his fault he reads faster than the average reader. It's not his fault he read the whole thing in ten minutes standing in that stupid Y/A section of that stupid store. 
He hadn't know what to think of it. The thing these men (men? fairies? fae? whatever.) did to these women… did people actually like that? Did you like that? 
Spencer had spent his entire life feeling as if there was an unwritten code the whole world just naturally knew by heart, except for him, so it suddenly seemed scarily plausible that this was the same thing all over again. That everyone knew these kinds of things were the things normal people did, said, thought, and he just didn't know it. So he turned to the only source that had never let him down: academia. And sure enough, 8.235 hits of articles, research, interviews, and other evidence detailing how women liked to be handled, talked to, treated like they did in those books. 
The next few days, Spencer just couldn't shake the feeling. The feeling that he had been doing it all wrong, that he had been making a fool of himself. And that wouldn't have bothered him so much in the past, the few girls here and there that he built up his measly amount of experience with, but you, oh, there was nothing in the world that he wanted to do right more than making you feel good. The thought that you had been feeling unsatisfied after your lovemaking made him nauseous on the spot, especially because he enjoyed it so thoroughly. And you were so nice to him, so understanding of his inexperience and taking it slow, just for him. He knew you would never want to hurt him, so he assumed what was the most logical conclusion: you had been disappointed with him, but too shy to say what you wanted. Yup. That was it. (To Spencer's overthinking brain, at least.)
And so, the next time you were over at his apartment, he vowed to make it right. Only there you were, sitting on his couch, smiling at him sweetly as he brought over your matching cups of tea. He didn't know whether he could ever be a man like those ones he read about. He was made for crossword puzzles and mismatched socks, old black and white movies and cozy evenings under a blanket, not brute force or coarse language. But he was going to try tonight. It killed him to think that he was selling you short of something you deserved just because he was too inexperienced to know about it.
And he knew, vaguely, that he should just ask you what you would like, but the insecurity of the last oh-so-many years of his life gnawed at him, propelling him into rash decisions. He should just ask you what you wanted, but those guys never did, and he could be smooth. Right? He could "smirk smugly," whatever that might mean. He could just go with the flow, be chill, relax. Right?? He would just, do the things, say the words, and you would like it. You would be pleasantly surprised. Right??? He was going insane.
And of course, you noticed. "Everything okay, Spence?" 
"Y- yeah!" (Could he sound any less convincing?) "Yeah, just, um, tired?" He smiled apologetically.
"Aw," your smile in comparison was broad and lovely, the picture of fondness, "you should get a good night's sleep tonight then."
Yeah, great. Very sexy, Spencer. He didn't know how he would ever stop being so damn soft and just man up. For you. 
"You should tell me if I should get out of your hair, okay?" You set your teacup down on the coffee table, "you probably have to get up early tomorrow, so…"
"No!" he blurted out before he even caught himself. Your eyebrows shot up in response, an amused albeit confused quirk playing on your lips. "I, um, I thought we could…" god, what was wrong with him? He should just, ummm, kiss you? He didn't even know. 
He breathed out, hands flexing against the soft fabric of his couch, looking you in the eyes. Your expression was warm and kind, which only made him more nervous. 
You let your head fall to the side, looking at him inquisitively. Spencer's heart soared at the little genture, his eyes no doubt betraying his nerves, or his impending insanity. To his utter surprise, you shuffled closer to him on the couch, lacing your fingers through his, which were (to his own surprise) still flexing and relaxing in a steady rhythm. You didn't say anything, just looked at him with your round, shiny eyes, but it was enough to turn Spencer into a puddle.
He decided to test the water, still never entirely sure of whether he understood your context clues, even after having been intimate with you multiple times by now. Still, he ventured into a slow kiss, his lips brushing yours while you stroked the top of his hand with your thumb. You kissed him back immediately, to his relief.
Spencer was fighting off the butterflies, but no amount of willpower could withstand the plush softness of your lips. His instinct was to go pliable under your touch, let you kiss him stupid here on his couch, but he had an agenda tonight. So he willed his hands to take a careful hold of your face, gaining control of the kiss. You betrayed no surprise, no particular reaction, you just went along with him. So Spencer upped his antics. His kisses became deeper, his brows furrowing in concentration.
Your response was just as lovely as always. You moothed his hair out of his face and went along with the deep lull of his kisses, moving in tandem with his body. Spencer had to fight not to just give in to the sweetness of your kisses, of your careful touches to his neck and chest. Still he tried to be more dominant, in his own clumsy ways. He wanted to push you into a horizontal position and crawl over you, but what happened was that he gave a light nudge to your shoulder and you fell backwards voluntarily, smiling up at him and softly weaving your fingers through his hair. 
You made it very difficult to give you what you wanted, Spencer thought vaguely. So he continued on with his quest. He traded your lips in for your neck, trailing kisses from your collarbone up to your neck. You made a small, sweet noise when he placed his lips over your pulse point, and Spencer scrambled for words to reply to you. "You like that, huh?" was what came out. The words tasted foreign on his tongue. 
You giggled in response, twirling the hair at the nape of Spencer's neck around your fingers. Not what he expected. He continued his kisses, reaching the opening of your blouse. He looked up at you as a form of asking for permission to unbutton it further, and you nodded with a shy smile. A surge of affection bloomed in his chest at the way you blushed when he started undoing the buttons, still bashful each time, he smiled to himself. He pushed the wave under, though, hiding his own reddening cheeks behind his hair while he worked to get the fabric off of you. 
Once your blouse was discarded somewhere on the floor of his apartment, he took in the sight before him. Your skin looked smooth and soft in the dim evening light that flickered through the curtains, your glittering eyes tracking Spencer's every move. Sickeningly sweet compliments threatened to spill over his lips, but he was unsure they would fit his performance tonight. So he gathered his courage and instead commanded you to "open your legs for me." You obeyed swiftly, albeit with that confused glint back in your eyes. Spencer positioned himself between your legs, leaning his hands next to your head. Everything in him wanted to oppose his brain when it made him say "good girl," but he pushed through. The words leaving his lips and settling into the air felt odd. He immediately went in for a kiss, as part of the plan, or to hide from you, he wasn't sure, cutting off your confused stare.
Your hands didn't quite know what to do, he registered, but eventually they found their place on his neck. Your kisses didn't betray any more enthusiasm than usual, he noted disappointedly. He must have been doing it wrong. What did those guys in the books do? Snarl? He could not, in good faith, bring himself to do that. He mentally flipped through the pages, unsure of where to go next. 
He let his hand drop down to the button on your jeans, opening it swiftly (at least one thing that went right) and zipped the zipper down. You lifted your hips up while not breaking the kisses, so that Spencer could shimmy you out of them and throw them with your blouse. The kisses had grown passionate and deep, your pupils blown wide when Spencer eventually pulled back. You looked angelic. Your hair splayed out on the couch cushions, your lips kissed red and puffy, and your lidded eyes intently focussed on him. All he wanted to do was kiss you for ages, until the sun set and you would fall asleep in his arms, but alas, he swallowed his lovesick daydreams down. Instead he took a hold of your hips, squeezing the soft flesh before pulling you forward by them so that you came to lie flat on your back. You let out a startled gasp, blinking your eyes cartoonishly up at him. Spencer took this as a good sign, giving your plush thigh another experimental squeeze, but your hand resting on his wrist halted his movements. 
"Okay Spence, what's going on?" your voice was not angry, rather, slightly bewildered, emphasised by the way your one brow was raised higher than the other. Spencer immediately felt the heat rush to his face, feeling like he just got caught red-handed. His big baby deer eyes wide like he was frozen in front of nearing headlights.
"Nothing…" was his - very convincing - response.
"Spence," you were smiling now, the corners of your mouth quirking up as you shuffled yourself to sit upright opposite Spencer. 
"You didn't… like it?" Spencer cringed at the insecure tone in his voice but didn't know where to hide it. 
You blinked at him for a second. "I didn't, um, expect it?" you offered, your smile seeping into your tone.
"But you… want… that? Stuff like that, right?" he fidgeted with his hands in his lap, looking unsure of his very own claims now that he said it out loud. "R- rougher?"
You let out a confused little laugh, "what would make you think that, Spence?" Your tone was affectionate, the crinkles next to your eyes betraying your fondness for your clueless boyfriend. 
His cheeks must have been quite literally on fire by this point, as he scrambled for answers he suddenly couldn't seem to find.
You reached out, caressing his cheek with your hand, "It's okay, we can talk about this," you tried to reassure him.
Spencer was wiggling in his seat, annoyed with himself on all fronts, and unable to stop himself from blurting everything out all at once: "I just, okay, um I stumbled upon this book and," he raked his fingers through his hair, realising how stupid his explanation was about to sound, "and all girls around were suddenly reading it, so i thought it must be, good, then, so I found it in the book store and read it and it was, um, spicy? Is that what they call it?" If the floor had decided to swallow him whole at that point, Spencer would have been thankful. "So I thought, since everyone seemed to like that sort of thing I would research it, and I found all these papers on dirty talk and rough sex and dominance, so I thought, I assumed…" he trailed off when seeing the look of equal parts confusion and amusement on your face.
You couldn't hold back your laughter anymore, breaking into a fit of giggles at the huge dismay of Spencer's burning cheeks. He felt his eyes grow impossibly wider, afraid he had messed up forever.
"You?? Reading smut?? Spencer, oh my god, that is both adorable and so so so stupid, babe," you said through all the giggles. Spencer joined in with a hesitant giggle of his own, starting to see his ridiculous thought process in perspective. "Why didn't you just ask me about it?" 
To his relief, you didn't sound accusatory, just soft and sincere, supported by your bright smile. "Yeah, huh," he chuckled, "hindsight sure is 20/20, huh?" he felt his nervous energy slowly flow out of him at your gentle stare. "I know I should have, I just wanted to 'fix' everything on my own, without," he looked away, "without disappointing you further…"
"Disappointing me?" you exclaimed, genuine worry in your expression, "Spencer, you haven't disappointed me once. I'm perfectly satisfied, baby, did I not show that enough? I never, ever, wanted to make you feel like you were lacking, in any regard."
"No! No," he was quick to defend, "you did nothing wrong, at all. I think I'm just, I don't know, you're more experienced than me and I thought I was just missing the mark? I thought maybe you just didn't dare to ask for what you really wanted." He smoothed his palm over his face, spilling all of his inner thoughts taking a toll on him.
"Spencer," his name on your lips sounded sweet, like it had gotten drenched in syrup, it was Spencer's favourite sound. "Please believe me when I say that you give me everything I want and more." your hand came up to cup his cheek and Spencer immediately leaned into your touch, embarrassingly aware of his own neediness. "I wish you would have just asked me about it, because then I could have told you that I love your sweet and gentle ways. I love the way you make me feel cherished." 
You were looking up at him with big, honest eyes, and Spencer started to wonder how or why his brain would ever lead him away from this soft, quiet intimacy between the two of you. "I'm sorry," he offered, a weak rebuttal, as he kissed the inside of your wrist.
"Don't apologise, silly," you leaned in, brushing your lips against his. He kissed back immediately, soft, slow, as tenderly as his need for you would allow him.
You crawled over him, still only in your underwear, and positioned yourself in his lap. Spencer's hands immediately fell to your waist, addicted to the feeling of your soft skin. Your kisses grew deeper, impossibly more intimate, as you pushed your chest into his, craving closeness. 
When Spencer pulled away, eyelids heavy with want, he groaned softly at the sight of your red, puffy lips, shiny with his spit. "You mean it? everything? " He had to ask, he had to. 
"I mean it. Everything." Your response was easy and immediate. Spencer detected no doubt in your voice, and he would know. So he kissed you again, with an almost shaking feeling, pouring himself into you. The way you gasped into his mouth sent shivers down his spine. 
When you pulled back, both breathing heavily, your lips immediately found his neck, kissing a stripe up to his ear, where you started whispering sweet nothings that sent heat straight through his body. "I like your hands, so strong and big, but so gentle," "and I love the sounds you make," "and how you touch me like i'm delicate, makes me feel so special, Spence," each one of your compliments was punctuated with more kisses to his neck. 
Spencer didn't know what to do with himself, lost in your voice and your praise. He wondered what he must have done in a previous life to deserve the most gorgeous girl ever, in his lap, almost naked, telling him how good he made her feel. His hands squeezed your hips, softly this time, and the small moan that left your lips afterwards made him dizzy.
"And I love the way you talk to me," your compliments just kept coming, "all sweet and loving, makes me feel really pretty."
"You are," he answered immediately, his voice hoarse to his own ears, "you are very pretty, gorgeous even, I- just look at you," his hands smoothed up and down your back. "Look at you…" he was almost whispering now, completely lost in you. 
You giggled into his neck, "so are you, my pretty boy."
Spencer didn't know whether he would survive. His head fell back, giving you even more access to his neck, while he felt your hips softly grind on his erection through his dress pants. He thought faintly that he might have died and gone to heaven. 
His fingers trailed up your back to the clasp of your bra, though he waited for your nod against his skin to undo it. He threw it with the rest of your clothes, into oblivion, and snaked a hand between your bodies to palm your breasts. The moan he got after grazing your nipple had him salivating, wanting to hear you fall apart entirely. 
"Baby," his voice sounded breathy, "can I take care of you, please?" 
"Of course," you withdrew from his neck, cheeks hot and eyes dark.
"Need to taste you," he mused while carefully laying you down on his couch, making sure you were comfortable. Kissing down your body until he reached the hem of your panties.
"Fuck," he groaned when he saw the small wet patch that had formed.
You smiled bashfully, giving permission for Spencer to pull the fabric down your legs and throw it god knows where. 
Spencer was, once again, completely enamoured by you. He let his fingers slide through your folds, collecting the slick and bringing it up to your clit to circle it slowly. He watched your face intently, pride blooming in his chest with every moan and eyeroll he got out of you. He positioned himself between your thighs, fully intent on worshipping you for as long as he could hold out.
He started by kissing your plush thighs, the soft skin feeling heavenly under his lips. As he started to get closer and closer to where you needed him most, you grew more desperate, whining his name and making Spencer almost delirious with your voice. "I know, baby, I know," he shushed you, finally planting a kiss in your needy clit.
You involuntarily bucked your hips up, finally getting some release, and Spencer watched in awe as your eyes screwed shut when he licked a broad stripe over your pussy. "Feels so good, Spence," you whined, just as Spencer thought it would be impossible to turn him on even more.
He continued licking and sucking just as you liked, your hands eventually finding a home in his curly hair, softly running your fingers through it. Spencer thought he could spend eternity there, between your thighs.
He carefully introduced a finger, revelling in the reaction he got, and started pumping in and out of your slick opening. It didn't take long before you could take two, as Spencer's gaze remained transfixed on the way you were swallowing his digits. "You're doing so well, baby."
"I'm- I'm getting close," you gasped, and Spencer could feel it. He could feel you squeezing his fingers. The thought alone made him crazy, making him go faster, chasing your sweet release.
You fell apart on his fingers with a last, high-pitched moan, arching your back beautifully for him. He worked you through your hugh, being careful not to overstimulate you. 
"Was that good?" the words had left his mouth before he could register them, betraying his insistent insecurity. 
You were looking satisfied and dazed from your spot between his throw pillows, smiling up at him through your lashes. "Good? Spence, that is the understatement of the year. I think I saw stars."
Your bright giggle calmed his nerves as he joined in, leaning down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss.
"But now," you started as you pushed yourself upright, "it's time to take care of you, pretty boy." 
Spencer revelled in your attention, willingly going along with your motions to undress him. He watched as you struggled with the buttons on his shirt, helping you with a broad smile, and once again mentally thanked whatever deity and deemed him worthy of you when you skillfully undid his belt and trousers. Freeing his aching dick out of his underwear, you couldn't help but stroke him a few times. Spencer hissed at the contact, already sensitive.
"Such a pretty boy," you mused. Spencer's dick twitched at your words, but he didn't have it in him anymore to feel embarrassed. Instead he eagerly helped you into his lap, your pussy hovering over his needy dick.
He positioned himself at your opening, dragging his tip though your folds a few times to gather your wetness, enjoying the little hitch in your breath when he brushed against your sensitive clit. You started to sink down on him, exhaling harshly once you felt the stretch of his tip at your opening, "take it easy, baby, no rush," Spencer reassured you, marvelling at how good you looked on top of him. You sank down on him slowly, taking all of him and letting out a content sound that matched Spencer's low moan. 
You started riding him slowly, guided by his large hands on your hips, and Spencer could hardly hold it together. He drew you in for a passionate kiss, but he soo had to halt those efforts because he could do little else but moan and sigh against your lips. You were in equal levels of disarray, loving the way he felt buried deep inside you just as much as he loved it.
"Fuck, baby, oh, god I'm- I'm so close already," Spencer managed between breathy gasps.
"That's alright, Spence, ah- me too."
Spencer saw this as his perfect chance, taking a stronger hold of your hips and driving his dick into you at the exact angle that made you a whining hot mess on top of him. Thank god for his eidetic memory, and the way you felt clenching around him. He made sure your orgasm came first, feeling your pussy squeeze his dick deliciously as your nails dug into his skin with a raw, drawn-out moan. Spencer followed seconds behind you, completely overwhelmed by how good you felt pulsing around him, spilling his load into you while holding your body impossibly close to his, babbling your name and sweet nothings as he reached his high.
You rode out your pleasure together, eventually stilling in each other's arms and catching your breaths. 
"Spencer, oh my god…" that was all you could muster to say to your boyfriend in your current state, but Spencer understood. He gleamed with pride, planting a kiss on your shoulder and slowly taking your face in his hands to kiss the tip of your nose.
"Let me get you cleaned up, pretty girl," he said after a while of basking in your collective post orgasm glow. 
You were pouting as you languidly willed yourself to get off of him, but with another kiss and a promise of cuddling later, you agreed for Spencer to fetch you a towel. As he walked into his bathroom, he couldn't help but notice all the small marks you had left on his neck and chest, smiling to himself in the dim evening light, completely satisfied. 
🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏🍏
I am but a humble fanfic writer and i beg for your feedback guys :))))))) xxxxxxxx
797 notes ¡ View notes
rafedarling ¡ 8 months ago
Text
𝐬𝐩𝐚
request: OPEN
pairing: drew starkey x you ft brooke starkey
summary: when you and brooke decide to pull a prank on drew during a casual saturday lunch at his house, it’s all in good fun. drew’s protective streak as both a big brother to brooke and a boyfriend to you has always been one of his most endearing and amusing qualities. so, when you drop a casual bombshell about having a “male waxer” at the spa, drew’s reaction is priceless. shock, confusion, and hilariously protective instincts take over as he tries to process this unexpected bit of news.
warning(s): english is not my native language. light humor, playful pranks, and drew’s classic overprotective antics, no use of y/n.
au: like, reblog and feedback are very much appreciated. please be nice, thank you and enjoy.
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Drew was in high spirits as he set the table for lunch, a relaxed grin on his face. He’d spent so many months on set for Outer Banks, and it was clear he was thrilled to unwind with the people he cared most about. Little did he know, you and Brooke were about to test just how protective he could get.
As you and Brooke shared a mischievous look across the table, you kicked off the prank.
“Hey, Brooke,” you began casually, glancing at Drew to see if he was listening, “thanks for recommending that spa the other day! It was, uh… an experience.”
“Oh, you finally went!” Brooke said, playing along perfectly.
“How was it? I told you they’re really good, right?”
You nodded, trying to keep a straight face.
“Yeah, they assigned me a guy for the wax. Super professional and all, but, you know, unexpected.”
Drew’s fork froze halfway to his mouth, his eyes snapping to you, wide with surprise.
“Wait… a guy? Like, for… the wax?” He looked genuinely baffled, trying to process this information.
You fought so hard keep your expression neutral, nodding casually.
“Yeah, he was great at it, honestly. Didn’t feel a thing. Super smooth process.”
Drew’s face morphed from confusion to full-on disbelief. He put his fork down slowly, his mouth opening and closing as he searched for words.
“Wait… you mean… like a full wax? By a… guy? That’s even legal?”
You shrugged, pretending not to notice his growing panic. “Yeah! Brooke goes there too. And of course it was legal”
Brooke jumped in, barely able to suppress her grin.
“Oh, yeah, I get a guy a few time. They’re just more efficient, you know? Totally professional.”
Drew’s jaw practically dropped. He looked from Brooke to you, then back to Brooke, struggling to comprehend this new reality.
“Wait, Brooke… you, too? Both of you… by some random guy?”
You could see the protectiveness flaring in his eyes. Drew was always so protective of both of you, and he looked like he was about to burst with a mix of confusion, disbelief, and was that a hint of jealousy? not sure.
“Yeah, babe, it’s not a big deal,” you added, feigning nonchalance as you twirled your fork in your pasta.
“He was a total pro, super respectful.”
Drew’s eyes narrowed.
“Respectful or not, that’s still… strange, right?” He looked at Brooke, hoping she’d agree with him.
��I mean, you don’t think that’s, like… kind of weird?”
Brooke shook her head, acting entirely unbothered. “Nope. Honestly, it’s easier you know they don’t make a big deal out of anything, and they’re more… what’s the word; thorough.”
Drew looked absolutely bewildered, his eyes flicking between you and Brooke as if waiting for one of you to reveal it was all a joke.
“Wait… thorough? What… what does that even mean? And how is that not weird?” He turned to you, looking betrayed.
“And why didn’t you tell me about this?” He asked.
You raised an eyebrow, trying to hide your smile.
“I mean, Drew, it’s a spa treatment, not a big deal. It’s not like I’d come home and say, ‘Hey, I got waxed by a guy today.’ with a very proud face on.”
“But maybe you should have!” Drew said, crossing his arms with a pout. “I thought we told each other everything.”
“Oh, come on,” Brooke teased, nudging him with her elbow. “Don’t be so overprotective, Drew. It’s just a wax.”
Drew’s face was priceless with half annoyed, half helplessly confused.
“I’m not being overprotective, I’m just… I mean… come on!”
He ran a hand through his hair, looking genuinely baffled.
“This is just… I can’t believe both of you think this is totally fine.”
You and Brooke exchanged a glance, both struggling to keep from bursting out in laughter.
“Oh, Drew,” you sighed, leaning over to give him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
“He’s a professional. I didn’t even feel anything, it was so quick and easy.”
“‘Didn’t feel anything’?!” Drew repeated, looking even more scandalized.
“I don’t care if it was painless! It was still a guy, right? Like, a random guy?”
Brooke grinned, piling on, “Oh, he’s not random. I think his name was… Carlos?”
“Oh, mine was Vincent, he’s Italian by the way.” You said
Drew’s face turned red.
“Carlos?! and Vincent?! So he’s got a name now? You ladies on a first-name basis with these guy who… I mean…” He trailed off, clearly struggling to articulate his thoughts.
“Does this Carlos, Vincent know I exist?”
You bit your lip, feigning a thoughtful look. “Honestly, I didn’t mention you. But maybe next time?”
Drew groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Next time? Oh, come on, you’re kidding me.”
“Drew, calm down,” Brooke said, barely containing her laughter.
“We’re just trying to live our best, smooth-legged lives here. Can you blame us?”
Drew looked at her with an exasperated expression. “Yeah, but does that really have to include some guy named whatever his name is? You know, it’s kind of my job to protect you both from… well… guys like that!”
At that, you couldn’t hold it in any longer. You and Brooke burst into laughter, doubling over as Drew continued to stare at you both in utter disbelief.
“Wait… are you two… Are you serious?” Drew asked, the realization slowly dawning on him as he watched you both laughing uncontrollably.
“Oh my god, you’re messing with me, aren’t you?”
He continue, “Oh, yes you are, and it’s not fun ladies”
Through your laughter, you managed to say, “Yes, Drew! There’s no Carlos or Vincent! It’s a prank!”
Drew let out a sigh of relief, slumping back in his chair, though he couldn’t help but laugh along with you.
“Oh, you two are evil. Seriously, I’ve been through a lot on set, and this is what I come home to?”
You wiped a tear from your eye, grinning. “Well, we missed you, so we thought we’d welcome you back with some… excitement.”
Drew chuckled, shaking his head as he reached over to pull you into a playful hug.
“Excitement, huh? You know, payback’s coming for both of you. I’m just warning you now.”
“Oh, we’re ready,” Brooke teased, crossing her arms with a smirk. “Hit us with your best shot, Drew.”
Drew rolled his eyes, unable to keep from smiling.
“You two are lucky I love you, because if anyone else pulled something like that on me…” He shook his head, feigning a serious look.
“Carlos and Vincent, though? Really?”
You laughed, leaning your head on his shoulder. “We knew that would get you. What a sexy name for a man”
“Yeah, well, it did,” he admitted, sighing as he gave you a playful squeeze.
“But next time, I’m not falling for it. Just so you know.”
“Oh, we’ll see about that,” you said, grinning.
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iimplicitt ¡ 9 months ago
Text
OFF TO THE RACES | LN4
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parings: lando x cowgirl unnamed fem! character (faceclaim bella hadid)
summary: the mclaren team gets taken to a rodeo ahead of the austin grand prix. lando takes the saying; “save a horse, ride a cowboy” a little too literally. let’s take Jesus off the dashboard, he’s got enough on his mind.
warnings: 18+ smut!!, car sex (it’s crime don’t do it), unprotected p in v (also don’t do this), one night stand, lando in a cowboy hat, hickeys, spitting, praise, size kink? kind of, lando has a thing for making her cry (in a good way), social media posts towards the end
wc: 3.8k
a/n: i’m a born and raised texan so don’t come for me with the stereotypes in this LET ME DREAM
Sweat coated his skin as they walked, the road cracked and uneven as they made their way up to the exposition center turned rodeo. It was Zak’s idea, a bonding experience he said for Lando and Oscar even though that was completely unnecessary. They probably spent too much time together as is.
Their boss smiled at them, already sun burnt a bit as they got closer and closer to the blaring country music. “You can’t get a more American experience than this!”
Lando and Oscar looked at each other for a moment before shaking their heads, smiling despite how ridiculous this all seemed. Lando had no interest in watching animals run around in dirt while shitty music blared through speakers all the while someone’s beer might be spilling on him. Then again, maybe he was being cynical and the South was about to be full of surprises.
The whole venue was crowded, making it seem even hotter despite the setting Texas sun. There was a carnival going on as well, a good chunk of people still running around playing games or going on rides. The other half were pouring through the large open doors, the Mclaren Formula One team being a part of it.
It was loud, the metal ceiling and walls echoing the sound of music and people talking and shouting. It was lively, he could admit that. Maybe it would even be fun drunk, but that was a big no go in regard to the rule book of a race weekend.
Someone met them near the entrance, a man who clearly worked with the venue based on the obvious cowboy get up he had on. Boots, hat, the whole thing. Zak did most of the talking while Lando and Oscar looked around curiously, watching as people bustled about and waving at those who recognized them.
Eventually they were led to a section close to the floor, front row seats to all the action. Neither driver really knew what to expect, but the very last thing Lando was anticipating was seeing the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on riding out on horseback.
He was awestruck immediately, his eyes not leaving her as she made her way around the perimeter, smiling and waving as she went. Fuck, she was stunning. Her skin was tan and glowing, her grin bright and brown hair tucked loosely under a cowboy hat. He felt his heart skip a beat as she got closer and closer to where he was sitting, and Lando became acutely aware of himself as he leaned his elbows against the railing. Hoping he didn’t look like a dumbass and for once hoping he didn’t look too British.
Would she even be interested in an Englishman? The thoughts running through his head were ridiculous but everything seemed to go mute as she passed right by him. Tipping her hat down and sending him a wink before the horse continued on its path.
“Careful mate, I think you’re drooling.” Oscar laughed from next to him, nudging him knowingly.
“Shut up, Osc.” Lando barely spared his teammate a glance before he tracked his gaze back to her. Watching in awe as she did whatever the hell she was doing, maneuvering the horse expertly around obstacles, dirt kicking up around her but her face didn’t give anything away but pure determination and focus. He’d never seen anything so graceful.
The rest of the night he kept an eye on her whenever he was able to, his gaze flicking up to the big screen to catch her name anytime she was shown on camera. When she laughed at something her friend said, her head thrown back and eyes crinkling, he thought the earth was opening up underneath him with the desperation to hear the sound of it.
When the rodeo was over, Oscar just about had to drag him away from the railing to get him to leave. “I’m sure this is how your fans feel,” the Australian joked, not at all bothered by the glare Lando was throwing his way.
“I’m not her fan. Merely an admirer.”
“And I'm sure that’s the mindset all your fans have. Besides,” he gestured to where a decently large group of men were waiting near the exit at the back of the expo center shouting her name. “Seems she already has groupies.”
Lando ticked his jaw, not seeing how waiting around would help them at all. He didn’t want to pull the I’m an F1 driver card because then he’d come off like a complete arse. So, cutting his losses he followed everyone else and headed into downtown Austin to find a bar to attend.
Not that he saw the point given; no drinking.
The music was even louder in the bar that was also combined with that he knew very little about like line dancing. Mulling over his water as he scrolled through his phone, he hesitated for a moment before typing her name into instagram.
“Christ,” he muttered. Every time he saw her she seemed to get prettier.
He debated on following her but he knew someone somewhere would take notice and spin it into something it’s not. Even if he wished there was something to blow out of proportion.
Someone bumped his arm and his thumb hit the follow button.
Lando blinked at his phone for a moment, watching her follow count tick up by one and he squeezed his eyes shut. Letting out a sigh he shoved his phone back in his pocket, no point in undoing that hiccup given she’d see the notification. Some small part of himself, or maybe a larger portion, wanted her to take notice. Take an interest, and maybe follow him back. Hell, he’d beg the universe for a DM if he had to.
Oscar appeared and gestured with a hand, smiling as if he knew something. “Look who it is.”
Following his friend’s gaze, Lando looked around before his eyes fell on what Oscar was looking so fucking smug about.
There she was, barely twenty feet away and leaning against the bar. Her smile was contagious as she talked with her friends animatedly with her hands.
“Go and talk to her.”
Lando spun around, looking at Oscar as if he just suggested he commit suicide. “What?”
He laughed, shaking his head. “Since when are you nervous when it comes to girls? Just go and say hi.”
“I’ll look like a stalker who followed her here from the rodeo.”
“Right, like she even remembers seeing you.”
Lando's hands went to cover his heart, his features warped into offense. “Ouch, Osc. Low blow.”
The Aussie was hearing none of it as he lightly took hold of Lando’s hoodie and shoved him in her direction. “Thank me later.”
His annoyance wasn’t all that genuine, in fact he was thankful for the shove of encouragement as he made his way over to her. Fuck, was his hair alright? Did he smell bad? He’d been sweating all day. He hadn’t even talked to her yet and she had his mind reverting back into his insecure teenage self.
She caught his eye before he was too close, recognition flashing briefly across her face as her friends continued to talk. Her smile slipped into something more sultry- more knowing. Like she knew exactly why he was here. He wouldn’t be surprised if she got approached a lot, she was stunning.
He came to a stop, her friends' voices slowly fading into silence as they all looked at him. The air tense and a bit awkward but he forced a casual laugh. “Hi.”
Was that really all he had?
She bit her bottom lip, clearly amused by him before he was finally graced by the sound of her voice. “Howdy.”
Even that was heavenly.
“Do people here really say that?” Stupid non flirtatious things were pouring out of his mouth.
Her and her friends laughed, looking at him as if he was a court jester and he wanted to punch Oscar next time he saw him.
“Do you really say cheerio?”
This time he laughed, feeling more relaxed and he shook his head. “No, I don’t at least.”
Her pale green eyes slated to her friends for a moment, something silent passing between them and before he knew it they were alone. She gestured her head for him to come and stand beside her and Lando obliged like a lovesick puppy.
She leaned in close, the smell of her perfume mixed with polished leather was addictive and he wanted to bottle up the scent and keep it forever. “For the record,” she began, her accent light but noticeable. “I do say howdy as a greeting.”
He grinned at her, leaning down to match the level of her gaze and her slight whisper. “It’s cute.”
Her eyes flicked over his face, taking in his features and for the briefest moment her gaze danced over his lips. Making him feel dizzy and he wondered what the woman was doing to him.
She leaned back slightly and took a sip of her drink. “I saw you at the rodeo earlier.”
“I’m glad I’m memorable.”
“You’re hard to miss. You don’t exactly scream you’re from the south. Especially wearing this when it’s almost a hundred out.” She tugged lightly at the string of his hoodie, her lips pulled back in a playful smile and he wished he could just grab her and kiss her. The thought was overwhelming but he had to remind himself not to be an absolute creep.
“Well, it seems the stars are aligning then. I was hoping I’d get to run into you at some point.”
“You sure you didn’t stalk me Mr. Norris?”
He blinked at her. “You know who I am?”
Her cheeks were dusted a rosy pink as she waved her phone at him, his instagram page glowing at him and he shut his eyes. “That was an accident and a coincidence that you happened to be here.”
“Aw, and here I was being flattered.” She scrolled through his page, a giggle leaving her as she came across a picture of him in the ocean with mud all over his face and wearing a pair of sunglasses.
“No, don’t look-“ he tried to cover her screen with his hand but she took hold of his wrist and playfully shoved him away.
“This is golden.” She laughed. “This is what millionaires get up to?”
“You’re looking at all the wrong pictures.” He tried to reason, surely blushing as he made to cover her phone again and she pushed him away, this time with her hip and he felt his mind slip into a numbness that craved her touch again. She was pressed against him now, laughing for another moment before she eventually followed him back.
Her back pressed against his chest, turning to look at him over her shoulder and flashing the screen at him. “There.”
He looked down at her and completely ignored the phone, one hand falling to her waist absentmindedly as his other arm kept him upright against the counter of the bar. Her face was so close and he took in every minute detail. The way her skin glowed, dusted with a faint blush. Her nose was adorable and long lashes fanned out over her glowing eyes.
She was breathtaking.
The feeling of pure want coursed through every nerve in his body, acutely aware of the pressure of her against him. Her jeans tight around her hips and thighs before beginning to flare out and her top was snug fitting and complimented her wonderfully.
His grip on her waist tightened and he heard her breath hitch as she blinked up at him, her pupils blown wide and the smile that stretched his lips was anything but innocent.
Lando had her.
They barely made it into the back seat of her truck before his mouth was colliding with hers in a way that was almost violent as they fell back onto the seats. Lando settled himself between her legs, grinding against her in a way that was shattering his sanity second by second.
Her nails raked up from his neck and into his hair, a groan escaping him and being swallowed up by her mouth. She tasted sweet and had the faint taste of whiskey on her tongue, utterly maddening and he would never get enough of it.
“Take this damn thing off,” she managed to say between bites and kisses, tugging impatiently at his hoodie.
He smiled into the kiss, his hands blindly taking hold of the hem of the fabric before breaking away for a moment to rip it over his head. The truck was a bit cramped but he’d make it work, his mind was consumed by her at the moment and he wanted this to last for an eternity.
Her nails dragged down his body, letting out a content sigh as she took in the sight of his tanned skin and muscle, her fingers hooking into the belt loops of his trousers and the way she looked up at him would’ve been enough to send him over the edge. The sight was heavenly and the innocent look to her in that moment as her brown hair fanned out around her like a nimbus was devastating.
Lando reached forward and took hold of her cowboy hat that had gotten knocked off and placed it on his head, sending her a wink.
When a mewling sound left the back of her throat he raised a brow at her and he felt his cock get impossibly harder. Lando smiled down at her knowingly as he began to undo his belt. “Is this really doing it for you, darling?”
Her eyes nearly looked black with desire as her gaze trailed up from what his hands were doing to his face. “You have no fucking idea.”
He tugged his belt off and tossed it to the side, but before he worked on undressing himself further his fingers danced out and began undoing each button of her too tight shirt. Her breasts had already been tugging at the seams so when he popped one open they practically spilled out for him. No bra and on display and the sound that left him felt primal.
Lando needed her. All of her. Everywhere and every second of the day. If he could have her the way he wanted as he pleased he even considered fucking her in the middle of the paddock if she let him.
His fingers trailed down further and made easy work of her belt and zipper before he leaned back and took hold of each of her legs to rest them on his shoulders. “Lift up for me, baby.”
She didn’t hesitate as she lifted her hips for him and the immediate submissiveness made his mind melt into a puddle of pure desire. He tugged her boots off and then her jeans, and when the sight of her lacy white underwear graced his vision he suddenly wished they would’ve had the patience to get to the hotel.
“Fuck, I bet you taste incredible.”
But there was simply no room. He half debated on saying fuck it and bring her to the bed of the truck so he could ruin her in every way he was dreaming about, but that would probably lead to an arrest and a very unhappy meeting with the team and stewards.
“Please.” Her tone was needy, desperate even as she lifted her hips to him in an attempt to get her closer. There was already a damp spot appearing and Lando wanted to take her away and keep her to himself for the rest of his life.
“Where have you been all my life?” He sighed, his fingers dancing down her thighs and delighting in the way she trembled against his touch. “Tell me what you need.”
She bit her lip so hard he thought it might bleed and his hands dug into the soft flesh of her thighs, earning himself a moan from the back of her throat. “Use your words, baby. I need to hear you.”
“Fuck me, please.” She yanked his hips flush against hers by his belt loops. “And please lord, keep that hat on.”
His grin was wicked as he leaned down to capture her lips again, open mouthed and sloppy. His tongue dancing against hers and exploring, teeth clinking together as he pulled himself out from his trousers and used his other hand to tug her underwear to the side.
Lando never skipped foreplay but he was desperate and so was she. Not to mention she was practically dripping already and when the tip of his cock rubbed against her entrance and clit he shuddered as she let out a gasp, her nails digging into his back.
“You’re so fucking wet for me, darling.”
“Please,” she choked out, pulling him even closer by the back of his neck and kissing him.
When Lando sank into her till his hips were flush against hers he knew he finally found salvation. Purpose is what it felt like. The missing part of his life that he hadn’t even been aware of but now made him whole. He groaned into her mouth, matching her moan.
She was so warm and tight, the muscles of her cunt clenching around him. “You take me so well,” he ground out as he pulled his hips back and watched as he sunk back into her pussy slowly. The sight was other worldly. He wanted to film it but he was now determined that this would not be the last time he had his way with her.
She grinded her hips against him, matching his agonizingly slow rhythm and trying to get more. More satisfaction and he laughed at her desperation before burying his face in her neck, sucking and biting as he continued the slow pace.
“Lando, harder.” She gasped out, clutching at his shoulder with one hand while her other twined in the curly hair at the nape of his neck that was peaking out from under the cowboy hat.
He pulled back, teeth tugging at her skin before he released it with a pop. He got a little carried away, a hickey on her neck already forming but he couldn’t find himself to care as he got lost in the sensation of her cunt around his cock. She was perfectly made for him.
His hands pressed into the seat on either side of her head. “Open.” His tone was sharp and her lips parted immediately at the command. He smiled as he let saliva drip from his tongue and into her mouth, not giving her a moment to get a grip on reality before he then spit on her at the exact same time he pulled his hips back and snapped them hardly forward, burying his cock even deeper inside her.
She let out a cry, pleasure mixing with pain as he brushed against her cervix before pulling back and dragging against her g-spot, only to repeat the process over and over again. Bending her knees up so he could get a better angle, his thrusts brutal and being driven mad by the sound of his name being cried from her lips.
“So fucking gorgeous,” he said through heavy pants, watching her unravel beneath him and when his eyes caught sight on her naval the sound that left him didn’t even sound like himself.
Lando could see the outline of his cock as he fucked her, her smaller and skinnier size making it easier. “Oh fuck, you’re gonna kill me, baby. Look at you.” He pressed a hand gently to her stomach, feeling himself thrust in and out.
She bucked against him at the added sensation, tears streaming from her eyes and leaving pretty trails of mascara down her cheeks.
“Lando, oh my god—“ a scream left her as his other hand began rubbing tight circles into her clit. “I’m gonna—“
“Do you want to come on my cock, darling?”
She nodded, words lost on her and Lando knew he was on the verge of crashing as well. Feeling each of his nerves winding tightly. “Why don’t we come together, can you do that for me?”
“Yes, yes, yes. Please.”
“Such a good girl,” he praised, his tone soft. A complete antithesis to the almost violent pace of his cock slamming into her.
He switched the direction of his fingers on her clit. “Now, darling.”
Not a moment later she was convulsing against him, her cunt clamping down in his cock and Lando groaned out her name as he threw his head back, his cum filling her up nicely as the muscles in his stomach clenched. Sweat was coating both their bodies, all the windows completely fogged up and he felt delirious as he collapsed on top of her, settling comfortably between her hips and still buried inside of her.
He could both feel and hear her rapid heart beat, her warm breath coating the side of his neck as she buried her face in the crook of his shoulder.
“God, I love the English,” she muttered breathlessly against him and he laughed, loving the way she fit so snugly against him.
“And I’m in love with this form of southern hospitality.”
She snorted, the sound heartbreakingly adorable and he never wanted to let go of her. “All I said to you was howdy.”
He turned his face to hers, pressing a kiss against her forehead. “Say y’all.”
She raised a brow at him but complied. “Y’all?”
He groaned and kissed her through her laughter. “I’m done for.”
Eventually, and not with any thrill, he had to pull out of her and she shivered as he did so. Picking up his discarded hoodie from the floor, he gestured for her to sit up. “Lift your arms,” his voice was soft and his heart clenched as she smiled at him, doing as told.
He didn’t know what was wrong with him but he felt like he was struck by cupid’s arrow or something. Lando didn’t want this night to end and he wanted to see her tomorrow. And the next day, and the next. He wanted her by his side till he was rotting away in the earth.
He needed to thank Oscar next time he saw him.
Slipping the hoodie on her, he brushed the hair out of her eyes and dusted his thumbs over her cheekbones as he cradled her face. The air was quiet but not tense, a comfortable silence and he sighed slightly through his nose.
“What?” She asked, her brows furrowed and her smile timid. A bit shy despite the events that just unfolded.
“Would it be mental to ask you to come to the race this weekend?”
His eyes caught her tongue as it darted out to wet her lips, which were slowly forming into a grin. “I would love to, but I don’t know anything about it.”
He shrugged, pulling her in gently by hooking a finger into the collar of his hoodie she was wearing. “Just cheer for car number four and I’ll be on top of the world.”
She bit her lip, eyes searching his before she nodded. “Okay, but I want to do something for you.”
“You don’t need to—“
“It’ll be fun.” She reached her hands up and straightened the cowboy hat on his head. “Besides I haven’t seen enough of you dressed like this yet.”
landonorris
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liked by carlossainz55, youruser, oscarpiastri and 307,284 others
landonorris am i doing this right?
photo creds and tour of austin courtesy of youruser
*tap to load more comments*
userone: THIS IS EVERYTHING
youruser: you are definitely doing this right
landonorris: taught by the best
oscarpiastri: i’m still waiting on a thank you
landonorris: shut up
usertwo: i need to know the tea
userthree: AND WHOS THE GIRL???
f1wags
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liked by 56,029 others
f1wags oh? who’s this? potentially a new wag spotted in the paddock this weekend at the usgp and rooting for lando norris!! some sources say they were seen together afterward, but nothing is set in stone yet! pictured is; youruser
*tap to load more comments*
userone: OH MY GOD THEY WOULD LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER
usertwo: right?? i hope it’s true
userthree: lando dating a cowgirl is not something i knew i needed
userfour: ew? really? not an american LMAO
userfive: she’s literally stunning what do you mean
usersix: the way she was screaming and cheering for him has me SOBBING she already seems so supportive
userseven: everyone needs to chill we don’t even know if they’re together, just because they follow one another doesn’t mean anything
usereight: you must be fun at parties
youruser
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liked by alexandrasaintmleux, lilyzneimer, iamrebeccad and 67, 892 others
youruser south side of heaven
*tap to load more comments*
userone: PLS TELL ME THATS LANDO
usertwo: oh my god?? all the wags liking it???
userthree: CHAT PLS I NEED HER AND LANDO TO BE REAL
userfour: he’s been seen in texas NUMEROUS times over the break istg i think they are dating
landonorris and youruser
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liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 702,299 others
landonorris happy birthday pretty girl
*tap to load more comments*
userone: oh. my. GOD
usertwo: I KNEW IT
carlossainz55: the black and white made me think she had passed
youruser: i thought i missed my own funeral
landonorris: i hate you both
userthree: IM LOSING MY MIND WKSKSJW
userfour: he looks so happy IM SOBBING
taglist: @theonottsbxtch @fortunapre @ashbone @c8lap1nto @taasgirl @stopeatread @dying-inside-but-its-classy
1K notes ¡ View notes
jennxxe ¡ 1 month ago
Text
Clean cut.
pairing — erik campbell x fem! reader
summary — you go get a belly piercing ;)
warnings — 18+, vaginal sex, p in v, getting a piercing done sooo needles -> he makes it hurt more on purpose, cursing, eating out, fingering, THAT DAMN PRINCE ALBERT PIERCING, public sex, sex on job, no protection, creampie, getting caught, dom erik, he is lq an asshole
a/n — english IS NOT my first language so u might see a major mix of american and british wording <3
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The parlor was dead. Not unusual for a Wednesday afternoon. Erik was slouched behind the counter, picking at the edge of a healed tattoo on his wrist as some loud rock song blasted from the nearby speakers. He wasn’t even pretending to work. The appointment book was blank for hours, his boss was out, probably arguing with a supplier about ink prices or flirting with someone twenty years younger, and Erik was killing time the way he always did: zoning out and trying to fight the inner demons telling him to impulsively tattoo himself again.
Then the bell over the door rang.
He didn’t look up at first. Most people walked in, saw the flash portfolio of poorly drawn roses from his boss’ early years, and walked right back out. But this one didn’t. You stepped in like you belonged there. Confident, slow, but not the fake kind of sexy. The real kind. No effort. Just existing.
Oh.
Well, fuck.
Black jeans. Black top. Belly showing—smooth, soft, pierced already? No, not yet. You walked right up to the desk like you knew exactly what you wanted. He sat up straighter, but kept his usual half-bored look.
“How can i help you?” he asked, the forced customer voice coming out dry as hell.
You leaned on the counter. “Looking to get a belly piercing.”
Erik exhaled through his nose, tapping the pen against the clip of the waiver forms. “Any chance you’re eighteen? Or is this gonna turn into me losing my job?”
You just hummed, pulling your ID out of your bag. You slid it across the counter like you’d done this before. Maybe not the piercing, but the part where you didn’t waste time. He liked that.
He took it, flipped it lazily between his fingers. “Shit. A real adult. Scary.” He hands it back. “Name’s Erik. Paperwork’s over there. Sign it so I don’t end up in court.”
You didn’t flinch. Picked up the clipboard, filled it out with a rhythm that said you weren’t nervous. Just bored. Or maybe calm. Same difference, in his experience.
He watched your hands. The way your fingers moved. Quick. Confident. Jewelry on your knuckles. You looked like the kind of girl who said what she meant and didn’t ask for permission first. That did something to him. You finished. Handed it back. Still didn’t smile.
“This way,” he said, nodding toward the back. The piercing room was small, red-lit, and always too warm. Like being inside someone’s bloodstream. Not his call. His boss thought the color was “edgy.” Erik thought it made everyone look like they were bleeding out.
“Hop up,” he said. Gloves snapped on. “Shirt up. Not for fun, unfortunately.” You laid back, lifted the hem, settled like it was nothing. He sterilized the skin. Marked the spot. Grabbed the clamp. Everything neat, practiced.
“You breathe in when I say. Out when I say. Don’t fuck it up.” He jabbed a finger at you like he was the drill sergeant of piercings.
You rolled your eyes, smirking. “What, you gonna hold my hand through it, too?”
Erik blinked. Did you just... sass him? Yeah, you did. And goddamn if that didn’t make his blood pressure spike.
“Well, maybe I will,” he muttered, sliding the needle closer. “For someone with that attitude, I might have to make it sting a little.”
You laughed, short and sharp, and he caught it like a challenge. So he did. Just a fraction longer with the needle. Enough for you to tense up, grit your teeth. Not enough to make you scream, but enough to make it clear this wasn’t a joke.
You glared, caught him looking. “Asshole,” you said.
He shrugged, pulling the clamp away like it was no big deal. “Told you not to fuck it up.”
You sat up slowly, fingers brushing your fresh piercing like you weren’t sure if it was real or just some weird new weight on your skin. Then, with the kind of casual confidence that drove him crazy, you bent down to grab your bag. Erik’s blue eyes caught the curve of your back, the way the light hit her skin just right.
And before his brain even had a chance to think, the words slipped out.
“I charge extra for turning me on, just so you know.”
He froze. Shit.
You looked up, eyebrows raised, a slow smile curling on your lips like you knew he meant it, even if he was too proud to admit it. Erik cleared his throat, trying to sound like he’d planned the whole thing.
“What? Gotta warn people about hidden fees.”
You laughed. He pretended to wipe his hands on his jeans, but damn if his heart didn’t just skip a beat. He shifted in place, one hand instinctively dropping to cover the bulge in the front of his jeans like it was some kind of emergency. Not that he wanted you to notice… Definitely not.
“Damn,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than you. “Keep it together, Campbell.”
You caught the movement out of the corner of your eye and smirked just a little, like you already knew the effect you had. Erik cleared his throat, shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and tried to act like nothing happened.
“Like I said, extra fee. Keeps things interesting.”
You slung the bag over your shoulder but didn’t move toward the door. Just stood there, eyes on him like you were thinking something over. Dangerous kind of silence.
Erik didn’t move either. Still playing it off, like he wasn’t hiding the fact that his jeans were suddenly had a tent in them.
“You good?” he asked, voice a little lower than before.
You tilted your head. “Yeah. Just wondering something.”
“Oh yeah?”
You took a step closer. Not playful, purposeful. Eyes steady on his like you could read straight through all the shit he tried to hide behind sarcasm and black clothes.
“What happens if I don’t pay the extra fee?”
That made his jaw twitch. Heat lit up his spine like a fuse. He didn’t answer. Didn’t need to.
Because the second you were close enough, his hand shot out, curling into your shirt like a reflex. Pulled you in, hard, right into him. The kiss hit fast, rough, all teeth and impulse. He didn’t think, didn’t plan, just slammed his mouth against yours like he needed to shut you up and taste you at the same time.
You kissed back just as hard, fingers threading into his messy black hair, tugging a little—enough to make him groan into your mouth. His hands slid to your hips, gripping tight like he wanted to anchor himself or maybe ruin you a little, too.
The taste of you. The sound you made when he bit your bottom lip. The way your body pressed into his, like you weren’t just letting it happen.. you were in it.
He pushed you back until you hit the wall, hard enough to rattle the frame behind you. Didn’t say sorry. Just kissed you deeper, rougher, like he was trying to unmake your mouth with his own. His lips started trailing down your jaw, biting at the edge of your throat, and you gasped just loud enough to make him dizzy.
“Shit,” he breathed against your skin, voice wrecked. “You’re a fucking problem.”
Your laugh was breathless, smug. “Then do something about it.”
Your hands slid up under his shirt and he flinched—not from nerves, just from how fast his body reacted. You traced the line of his stomach, felt the cold steel of his nipple piercings under your palms.
You paused. He bit your bottom lip.
“Yeah,” he said, voice low. “They’re real.” Your fingers flicked one, gentle at first. Then firmer. He hissed through his teeth, head dropping to your shoulder. “Shit. Keep doing that and I’m gonna fuck you right here.”
You didn’t stop.
His hands were already under your shirt, pushing it up, not bothering with gentle. He wanted to see. To feel. Skin against skin, your body warm against the metal pressing through him. He swore under his breath, grinding against you like it was instinct, like he needed friction or he’d combust.
Then your hand dropped lower. Over the front of his jeans. And when you pressed your palm there, he shuddered.
Yeah. You felt it.
“Fuck,” he muttered again, low and desperate. “If I let you see what else is pierced, you better know what you’re doing.”
Your breath caught. But you didn’t move away.
You didn’t say anything, just leaned into him, lips brushing his jaw in a slow, deliberate tease. Your hand moved to the hem of his shirt, pulling it up just enough to reveal the countless tattoos on his chest and stomach.
Erik caught the motion, his pulse spiking. He grabbed your wrist, holding your hand against his chest for a moment. Before he could think twice, Erik’s other hand dipped lower, fingers tracing the curve of your hip.
His mouth found yours again, harsher this time, teeth grazing your bottom lip as he kissed you like he was going to die tomorrow. His tongue slid inside, claiming your mouth with a fierce urgency.
You responded, hands threading through his hair, tugging him closer as if you wanted to drown in him. Erik’s body pressed against yours, hard and unyielding, the sharpness of his piercings a thrilling contrast to the softness you offered.
“Oh, ho-ly fuck.” Erik groaned, hands gripping your waist tighter as he spun you around, pressing your front against the cold wall. His lips trailed down your neck, teeth grazing, tongue flicking, each touch a promise and a threat all at once. The wall was cold in front you, but the heat between you was molten, dangerous.
Your breath hitched, body arching back into his like you were looking for more. Erik didn’t hesitate. Pants came off in one rough pull, exposing skin that was both scarred and marked, tattoos looking even darker in the dim red light. The silver bars through his nipples caught your gaze again, sharp, electric.
You reached behind you, fingertips tracing the metal slowly, deliberately. The touch was soft but enough to send a jolt straight through him.
“Shit,” he muttered, voice low and rough. “You touch those again, I’m not responsible for what happens.” Your hands slid under his jeans, hot and insistent, fingers wrapping around him through the fabric. His breath hitched, hips pressing forward, reacting before his brain could catch up.
He ripped your pants down in a brutal motion, bare skin meeting bare skin, electric, raw. His hands mapped your body—hipbones, the curve of your waist, the slight dip of your back—memorizing every inch.
You shivered under his touch, breath catching as his fingers found the hem of your panties. Slowly, carefully, he peeled them down just enough to reveal the wetness between your legs. In no time he was naked as well.
His fingers ghosted over your cunt, tracing your clit, then pressed lightly, making you gasp.
“Damn,” he said, voice thick. “You better leave me a five star review after this.”
He kissed down your neck again, teeth grazing sensitive skin, tongue flicking teasingly. He made hickey after hickey as his middle finger pressed into you, the ring he was wearing making you hiss lightly.
The cool steel of his Prince Albert piercing brushed against your inner thigh, sending a shiver through you both.
Erik stared at you, his blue eyes betraying that he’s contemplating something. He licked his lips, his gaze fixated on your most intimate area. After a moment of hesitation, he seemed to come to a decision.
“Fuck it,” he muttered under his breath, dropping to his knees behind of you. “Spread your legs a bit.”
As he was placing soothing kisses along your inner thighs, you arched your back. He could also see exactly where his finger disappeared into you. It made his cock twitch.
Erik pulled his finger out before pressing a feather-light kiss to your clit, feeling the heat against his lips. A soft moan escaped your lips as he traced the tip of his tongue along your slit, savouring your flavour.
"No wonder you act like that—walking around with a pussy like this," he mumbled against your folds before he could stop himself. He paused and pulled away slightly, “… I don’t know why the fuck I said that, pretend it never happened.”
You look back at him, smirking. “You mean how you said that— ow!” He bites your clit lightly before you can finish your sentence, arm curling around your hips so you get a clear view of him showing you his middle finger.
He delved deeper, licking and suckling as your hips rocked back against his face. Two fingers probed your entrance as soon as he pulled away, sliding in easily thanks to your wetness.
Erik worked his fingers in and out, curling them to hit that sweet spot inside that made you see stars. His blue eyes were focused intently on the view in front of him as his other hand unconsciously started stroking his cock.
He pulled his fingers out, slow on purpose, watched them glisten in the red light. Wiped them across his tongue, like he was tasting something expensive. Then he stood up, dick hard and twitching in his fist, and looked down at you like you were a problem only he knew how to solve.
“Table,” he muttered. “Now.”
Not a request. You hesitated—half dazed, half drunk on whatever the hell that just was.
He smacked your ass, not playfully. Just to move you. “I said, get the fuck up there.”
No sweet tone. No smirk. Just pure impatience and the kind of lust that felt like it was about to boil over.
You stumbled a bit climbing onto the cold metal, but he didn’t help you. Just watched, running his hand along his length like he was sick of waiting.
And when you were finally where he wanted you—on your knees, hands bracing the edge—he stepped up behind you, close enough for you to feel the heat of him.
He leaned down, breath against your ear, and said low: “You wanna act like a bitch, fine. But you’re taking all of it. Don’t cry about it after.”
You glance back at him, breath still shaky. “...So. No condom?”
Erik’s already lining himself up, one hand gripping your hip like he owns it.
“Nah.”
A beat of silence.
You blink. “That’s it? Just nah?”
He smirks, eyes dragging up your back. “You think I ate you out like that and wasn’t gonna go in raw?”
You open your mouth to say something smart—he cuts you off by pushing in.
Conversation over.
He pushed in with one long, deliberate thrust—and you felt it. Not just him. The piercing.
Cold, smooth, and then—God. The way it dragged just slightly on the way in, brushing that sensitive spot inside you like it was designed for one thing and one thing only: driving you absolutely out of your mind.
Your mouth fell open, a sound catching in your throat.
Erik just groaned through his teeth, hands gripping your hips so tight you swore you’d bruise. “Yeah,” he hissed, voice wrecked. “Feel that?”
You nodded, too far gone for words. He thrust again, a little harder—and the way the metal shifted, hit just right—you swore your knees almost gave out.
He leaned forward, lips grazing your ear as he slammed in deeper. “Fuck,” he bit out, jaw clenching. “You feel like you were made for this.”
That damn ring made every stroke feel like too much, like he was rubbing your nerves raw from the inside and Erik knew. He could feel the way your body clenched around him every time it caught, and he started chasing that angle like a man possessed.
"Not so mouthy now, huh?" His breath was hot at your neck. "Thought you'd be tougher than this."
And still he kept going. Each thrust rougher, more perfect than the last, until all you could think about was the feel of him, the stretch of him, and that unholy pressure of cold steel and heat dragging you closer to the edge with every brutal, perfect snap of his hips.
He was close. You could feel it in the way his rhythm turned erratic, rougher. His hand fisted in your hair, the other gripping your waist like he was anchoring himself to your body or maybe just claiming it.
“Gonna fill you up,” he groaned, low and feral. “You better take every—”
The door opened.
Both your heads snapped up.
Erik didn’t stop.
He should’ve. He didn’t.
His boss froze mid-step. “What the—are you serious, Campbell?! On the piercing table?!”
You gasped, a garbled mix of embarrassment and moan, but Erik just locked eyes with the guy like he was being inconvenienced, not caught raw-dogging someone naked in the middle of the shop.
“Dude,” Erik snapped, breath ragged. “Knock.”
Then he buried himself to the hilt and came.
Hard.
His eyes rolled back, jaw clenched, every muscle tensed as he emptied inside you with a low, wrecked grunt—still staring his boss dead in the face like it was a power move.
You trembled under him, completely wrecked, and the worst part? He didn’t even look apologetic.
The boss made some strangled sound, already backing toward the door. “I’m writing you up for this—Jesus Christ—”
Erik just grinned through heavy breaths. “Make it two. I ‘finished’ on the clock.”
Translation? Yeah, write me up twice. One for screwing on the piercing table, and one for ejaculating while technically still on the job—like he's being "paid" while busting inside you.
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nereidprinc3ss ¡ 9 months ago
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i keep you clean; you surrounded me
in which husband!spencer reid spirals after realizing he can't be your daughter's hero forever.
angst, fluff warnings/tags: this fic is about spencer's past addiction, and how he's afraid it will impact his relationship with his daughter, conversation about alcohol, this is a fix-it fic for my life, ends on a hopeful/positive note, lots of self-loathing from Spencer, uses the phrase "shooting up", PLEASE do not read if this is going to upset you!! PLEASE!! fem!reader a/n: this felt healing in a way for me but that might not be your experience reading if you also have issues with a parent with addiction so please tread lightly and make the right choices for you. CHOOSE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH OVER MY DUMB FANFIC I CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH!! and ily
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“Daddy?”
Ada’s not asking for you, but you look to her anyway. She’s squeezed between you and Spencer on Rossi’s swing, and her cheeks are still feverish—remnants of a recent and rather hysterical fit of giggles. She has a glass of lemonade between her little hands (you’re trusting her with a big girl cup, if only because it’s not your glass or your house) and she peers into it intently. Her little grass-stained feet kick. Spencer pushes the swing back ever so slightly, for her entertainment. 
“Huh?”
She holds her glass up for him. 
“Our drinks are the same color.”
“They are,” he nods. “Do you like yellow?”
Ada shrugs. It’s exaggerated—one of her favorite moves as of late. “It’s okay.”
Spencer glances at you like he always does when he sees glimpses of you in your child, eyes sparkling as if her opinionated and bluntly honest nature is in any way reminiscent of you. 
“Yeah, I agree. Yellow is just okay.”
She leans against him and he’s quick to accommodate her, affectionately brushing his knuckles over your bare shoulder as he slings his arm across the back of the swing. 
“Daddy?”
“What, lovebug?”
You smile, letting your head fall back and your eyes close. The sun is warm on your face. 
“Mommy’s drink is red.”
Nothing gets past her. Rossi had pushed the drink into your hand almost the second you stepped through the door, insisting it would go well with lunch. It sits otherwise untouched on the glass table. 
Spencer hums. The swing rocks gently. 
“That’s because she’s not having lemonade like us. She’s having a grownup drink.”
“Oh.”
You think that’s the end of it, that she’s satisfied with the answer, until another moment passes, and her voice, sweet as the tinkle of little fairy bells, is posing a very loaded question. 
“Why don’t you ever have grownup drinks? Me and you always have the same.”
Spencer’s already looking at you, brows drawn as you sit up. Your eyes, open now, go wide, and you shake your head slightly to signal you have no idea how he’s supposed to respond either. 
His hand goes to Ada’s hair, gently scratching her scalp as his eyes dart over your face. You can see the gears turning in his head. This is one of very few things he clearly didn’t read about in any of the literature on raising kids when you were pregnant. 
“I… some people don’t like grownup drinks.”
It’s an inadequate answer, especially coming from Spencer—just this morning he explained to Ada why the sky is blue. Rayleigh scattering. Blue light scatters more than any other kind of light. Which then led to an impromptu lesson on oxygen molecules and other basic chemistry in the car on the way here. 
So there are standards. 
“Why not?”
You interrupt, unable to watch Spencer flounder any longer. “Ada, why don’t you go see what Henry and JJ and Uncle Dave are doing? That looks fun, right?”
You gesture down the yard to where JJ and Rossi are teaching Henry to play cornhole. 
She looks at you with big brown eyes—the set of them, the color—those are all Spencer.
“Can you and daddy come?”
You straighten out her dress and take the half-full glass from her little hands, setting it next to your own on the table. 
“In a minute. Go ahead.”
Spencer’s hand slips from her hair as she pushes off the swing and bounds down the yard. You make sure she arrives to her destination without incident, before scooting closer to your husband and taking his vacant hand. 
“Spence?” You ask quietly, leaning in to try and insert yourself into his eye line. He doesn’t look away from Ada. 
“That was bad.”
“It wasn’t. She doesn’t understand. It’s fine.”
“I didn’t—”
He looks down, lips pressed together, and your heart twists and drops like overripe fruit from the vine as you realize his eyes have glossed over. 
“Baby,” you whisper, relinquishing his hand only so you can rub his back. Your other finds his knee, drawing as close as you possibly can. “It’s okay.”
“How am I supposed to explain it to her?”
A tear falls, making a dark splotch on the fabric of his pants. 
“You don’t have to. She’s only five. I guarantee she’s already forgotten all about it.”
“I will. I’ll have to tell her one day. She thinks I’m perfect, how am I supposed to—”
He stops himself, voice tightening to a halt. You watch him hold back a cry like you haven’t seen in years. It’s an old, familiar ache for you. You can’t imagine how it feels for him. 
“Spencer,” you coo. “She adores you. She loves you so much. That’s never going to change.”
His nose twitches. 
“I’m going to disappoint her.”
“How? How are you going to disappoint her?”
“I think it’s pretty disappointing to find out your dad is a junkie.”
His tone isn’t particularly harsh but the words are like a slap anyway. 
“Spencer…” For a moment you don’t know what else to say. It’s not a secret that he’s ashamed of that chapter in his life, but you had no idea he was contending with this much self-loathing over it, even after all this time. It seems like such a distant point in the rearview mirror that the two of you almost never need to talk about it anymore. “You are not a junkie. It’s been, what—a decade?”
“I don’t want to have to tell her what drugs are, let alone that I... she thinks I’m the smartest guy in the world, and one day I’ll have to tell her that drugs are extremely dangerous, and I was shooting up for four months anyway. No matter how I try to explain it to her the ultimate takeaway is going to be that I’m weak and I wasn’t smart enough and she’s never, ever going to forget that. How am I supposed to—I can’t be a role model for her. I fucked up so badly.”
Your chest aches, somewhere deep and hollow, as he leans forward, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes, only for a moment—before Ada shrieks and his head snaps back up. Henry is chasing her with a worm. Spencer watches on, tears still leaking from his eyes and expression otherwise neutral. It’s bittersweet to hear him express such deep insecurity about the thing he’s best at in the world, even as those parental instincts kick in and he’s setting aside his own feelings to keep an eye on her. He’s never trusted himself. He’s never seen himself the way you do. 
“Baby, you are her dad and she loves you. Her love for you is not contingent on your past. You are so, so good to her. That’s all she knows, okay? She doesn’t care what you were doing when you were 25. She cares about whether you’ll be home for dinner, and if you’ll play dolls with her, and if you’ll tuck her in. That’s all she needs to love you.”
JJ wrangles the kids and after a moment Spencer looks down again, brow furrowed deeply as drops like rain dot his lap, but he hardly makes a sound. You lay your cheek on his shoulder. “And until she’s old enough for the whole story, which involves a lot more violence than I am comfortable with her being subjected to right now, you don’t need to explain it to her. You have time.”
“She wants to know now.”
“She also wants icecream for every meal. But I can’t make her understand why that’s a bad idea. What she wants and what she needs and what she is capable of understanding are all different categories. I know you love answering all her questions, and you’re a really good teacher, but you can’t make her understand something as complex as addiction.”
Spencer sniffs. 
“Developmentally she’s only really capable of understanding the world as it exists in relation to herself.”
“Exactly. So give her some time, and give yourself some time.”
“What if she asks again?”
“Then… you say you don’t like how it makes you feel. And tell her to clean up her toys. Condition her to stop asking.”
Spencer stumbles over a teary laugh he hadn’t been expecting. You sit up straight, holding his face between your hands and encouraging him to look at you. His cheeks shine with tears, but you wipe them away tenderly. 
“You’re perfect to her,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to one cheek, “and you’re perfect to me.” He cups your elbow as you kiss the other and looks at you with so much sheer adoration you could get all choked up, too.
“Wow,” he sniffles, and takes a deep breath, pulling you into him, “I don’t deserve you.”
“Of course you do,” you mumble into his shirt, eyes fluttering shut as he presses three kisses to the curve of your neck where he’s buried his face. 
“I could be canonized as a saint and not deserve you.”
Sainthood. You ponder that. 
Saints have to live virtuously. They also have to be dead. 
You hold him a little tighter. You like him exactly how he is: technically imperfect. Probably not getting into heaven. Still venerable. Very much heroic. Alive, and with you.
“I’m really glad you’re not a saint.”
He chuckles. His hand slides up your back, and then side to side—a path it’s made time and time again which has only ever led you to wonderful, perfect places.
“Me too.”
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