#this was a fun lil challenge and a proof of concept to see if i could make these kind of chibis

[anaiaram]

a "revenge" for @/-Geist- for this cool ass drawing of birdstag!

he asked for people to attack his friends! @/GraciousBean @/ChaiTeaDraws @/NeptunePerson and @/molleo0 ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[nemaliwrites]

For the directors cut ask game, I would absolutely love to here about ‘none of this is real’ it’s so surreal yet so painfully grounded.

ahhh i love None of This Is Real! i actually wrote this one so fast that i forgot all about it - i got a comment that was like 'i love this passage!' and i was like wait that passage slaps and i reread the fic and went :0

this fic was originally supposed to be for an AU-gust challenge! the prompt was 'case fic' and in the end, i decided not to post it for that bc the trope felt...kind of loose to me. the original idea for this fic was actually much different! it was supposed to be more of a case fic in the traditional sense: once Adrien is trapped in his own head, there's some kind of murder that he needs to solve before he can leave, but why is everyone treating him like he's the murderer?

in the end, i abandoned that idea mostly because it felt kind of wrong. if the point of the fic is that adrien's in his own head, the people he loves can't outwardly treat him like he's done something wrong - also having only ladybug be in that world with him i think made the vibe more like what i was going for. my initial idea was for the victim to be gabriel ofc, but then i realized that i didn't know how to make the monarch identity reveal play into that in a way that wasn't contrived, so i scrapped it.

another initial idea was for ladybug to lead adrien to the eiffel tower and they would find monarch's body underneath, kind of reminiscent of the eiffel tower being 'ground zero' in chat blanc's world. but then i was like...there's no suspence there. it's just a dude on the ground. and it also kind of takes away from the whole 'adrien and ladybug alone in a world of his making' thing if he just...sees monarch.

so that's when the gravedigging idea came along - and i think it definitely aligned more with my vision! then it felt like adrien making an active choice to find the truth rather than...randomly stumbling upon it lol

writing not!ladybug was actually surprisingly fun! she's kind of uncanny valley-ish i think - looks like ladybug and talks like ladybug but acts absolutely Nothing like her. but she still cares about adrien, because she's a part of him! fighting to protect his own mind!

there's a couple lil things i threw in this fic that i can highlight too!

The hand in Ladybug's is bare — he's detransformed, ring on his finger. He's alone with Ladybug, who knows his name. Who still takes his hand. -> the way he thinks the only way Ladybug could take his hand as Adrien is if none of this is real....as though she could never possibly want to otherwise

"I'm real to you," not-Ladybug says, and she sounds hurt. -> just a lil insight into adrien's pov of ladybug....she's always Real to him. she's always a Hero to him.

She smiles, then, and she looks so much like his lady that it makes his chest squeeze. "Not you. Us. Together." We're not together, Adrien wants to say to her. You're not really here. It's still me, alone, just like it's always been. -> more of his pov of ladybug! proof of how deeply her abandonment hurt him, even when his brain is actively fighting against it!

Why, he wonders, does a man like Monarch have such a beautiful coffin? A man who no one even bothered to give an epitaph? Did he pick it out for himself? Did Adrien pick it out for him, from the depths of his subconscious? -> yes. he did. and the fact that adrien never saw his mother's coffin....i like to think he'd think it's beautiful. he'd want his parents in matching coffins :')

There’s something odd about seeing him like this. The villain they’ve spent so long at war with, the most hated man in Paris is still just that: only a man. He can be buried. He can die. -> i think i push this concept a lot in my Hawk Moth reveal fics - i think i did the same thing back in Parable too? but i love the idea of the realization that this villain who has always seemed larger than life is just...a guy. just a dude. someone you could pass on the street. knowing that most of his strength is because you built him up in your head.

A world with no pain and no sadness and no hurt, and this is the requirement. Adrien must have no father. That is the trade the universe demands. -> in a way, exactly what happened in the S5 finale.

“Isn’t the world a better place without Monarch? Without your father?” “He’s my father,” Adrien says quietly. “How can you ask me that question? He’s my father.” -> and this is what it all comes down to.

He would laugh if he weren’t crying. Free? What does it mean to be free? Is it freedom to be a murderer, to know you’re a murderer? To know you’ve killed your own father, just as you’ve so often dreamed of doing — he, who is your worst enemy? He, whose love you desire above all else? Whose love you will never get, because he will die? Because of you? -> this is the passage a lovely commentator highlighted!! made me go damn and reread the whole fic. and this fic doesn't even go into the whole senti!adrien thing but again....what is freedom? is adrien truly free now with his rings in his own hands?

The momentum sends him flying forward and then he's falling, falling. A hand on his back, a clawed finger against his neck, and nothing in his vision but eyes so red he can hardly stand to look at them. So he doesn't. When he finally opens his eyes, he's flat on his stomach, cheek against the concrete. It's quiet. Feet in his vision, then: spotted, familiar. Ladybug.

The sensation of falling; his eyes are screwed shut, his father’s hand is slipping from his own, and then he's falling, falling. A hand on his forearm, ashes in his lungs, and nothing in his vision but eyes so violet he can hardly stand to look at them. So he doesn't. When he finally opens his eyes, he's flat on his stomach, cheek against the concrete. It's quiet. Feet in his vision, then: spotted, familiar. Ladybug. -> i like mirrors in writing.....the same prose to travel in and out of his head....ladybug and not!ladybug's actions mirroring each other.....images of monarch contrasting with the akuma...

“Ladybug,” he says quietly. “I know who Monarch is.” -> this final line was actually the first one i wrote! i was like 'i have NO idea what the fic will be like but this has to be the ending'

thank you for the ask! and for letting me ramble abt this fic! <333

[where-fading-princesses-live]

‘’An Ed Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest’’ - EEnE Fanfic

@eene-fangirl Fanfic Weekend Challenge! Just a collection of random Jonny thoughts, and a poem thing at the end. (Raise your hand if you remember video stores.)

 An Ed Flew east, an Ed flew west,

An Ed flew over the cuckoo’s nest.

 -Parody on children’s folk rhyme

             People thought Jonny didn't care. It wasn't true. He did want things. That is, he wanted to want things, even to love things, as much as Ed loved every living thing— every plant, every tree, every bird and cloud in the sky. As Rolf loved things— the soil beneath his hands, the sweat on his back, the wind in his hair. As Jimmy loved things— the creek by the woods, quiet girls in crowded rooms looking inside a mirror or out the window at something unknown but desired. Only Jonny couldn't say what he wanted. It was too impossible now. Wanting anything seemed crazy. There was only one person Jonny could talk to, and it should have filled his craving. Was he satisfied?

           ''Jonny, why do you still play with that stupid thing?'' Sarah asked him one day, oddly concerned for the strange child as she indicated the wooden plaything. In the past, Sarah would have never even batted an eyelid in Jonny's direction.

           ''Cause Plank says so,'' Jonny replied, holding up Plank for her to see. But she didn't look at Plank. She just continued to gape at Jonny.

           ''Really, are you gonna continue to let that stupid board of wood tell ya what to do? Get grip!'' and she stormed off. As long as Jonny was happy, who cared what others thought?

           Eds always seemed to have more fun. It was on one such trip to the video store that Jonny discovered this. Jonny didn’t intend to run into them, but he always happened upon the Eds by pure happy coincidence. He watched as Ed made his way through the rows and rows of shelves, sprinting through the video store like a child at a toy shop. ''Movies, movies! Look at all the movies, guys!'' He yelled and pointed at each colorful video casket cover bearing a different title, a different genre. Jonny smiled at his immature display, in spite of himself. Watching Ed aglow made his heart flutter in warmth, but he couldn't exactly say why. Maybe because it was so different from the eternal smile his best friend often displayed. Jonny found Ed endearing, to say the least.

           ''Now be careful, Ed!'' came Double D’s familiar cautious voice as Ed ran through the seemingly empty store. On a Friday night, it was unusual, but Jonny assumed parents with their small children and families and groups of friends

had already swept the store clean the minute school let out. In fact, they were late to the party. Jonny supposed they were the only four kids in the store. Eddy, too, acknowledged this as he trudged behind Double D with his hands shoved in both pockets, sulking that they would not be out in time to make a trip to the candy store.

           ''Christ,'' he muttered under his breath, ''all the good stuff's rented out.''

           ''Eddy, first of all watch your language in public, and second of all, we're looking for a decent, educational film for Ed, not for us.'' he lectured.

           Eddy sighed at Double D’s usual nagging and rolled his eyes at the ceiling. ''Yeah... forgot. Hey, how this supposed to help Lumpy anyways?''

           ''Because, Eddy, proposing a fun activity can show Ed that learning can be a fun experience outside the classroom environment! Besides, he can apply previous knowledge to new concepts. He's already improved drastically!''

           Eddy just listened to this rant quietly before asking only half-interested, ‘’So if Ed brings up his grades—‘’

           ''Yes, we’ll be back in business, goodness, is that all you ever think about? You'd be surprised, Eddy. I'm very proud of him. In only a month's time, he's come a long way, but he will advance, I'm sure of it. He's a fast learner.'' But Edd stopped himself when he saw Eddy yawning in boredom and moving away to find Ed. Why did he even bother?

           ''Hey, lumpy, didja find something?'' He called.

           And Ed rushed out from behind the Sci-Fi/Horror section with a case depicting a giant green octopus monster. ''Look, Eddy! It Came from Beneath the Sea!'' And Ed pushed the video casket under Eddy's nose.

           ''Get that thing away from me!'' Eddy commanded as he pushed Ed backwards.

           ''But it's so cool!'' Ed pleaded.

           Double D came forward and put a hand on Ed's shoulder. ''Ed, that's very nice, but... may we find something less... dismaying?''

           ''Okay...'' and he reluctantly obeyed and put the movie back in its proper section.

           ''Let's try the family section, shall we? We're bound to find something there.'' Edd suggested.

           And Eddy once again rolled his eyes in besetment. ''Oh, brother...'' he moaned.

           ‘’First impressions always last, as they say. And furthermore-''

           But Ed's voice broke through what Edd was about to say next. ''Look, guys! Elvis!'' And he pointed to the comedy section. ''Elvis is so cool!'' And he held up a familiar title Clambake, a typical 60's beach comedy. Ed, being the devoted Elvis fan that he was, was literally in heaven, for the comedy section held quite a few notable Elvis titles, though Clambake was not the most versatile of them. By 1967 with the Beatles leading the British invasion of new musical performers, the King of the Sixties was in decline at least in his film career. You can tell with Clambake; you would know if you'd seen the film. But to Ed, any B-grade film made no difference to him. Eddy burst out laughing the minute he laid eyes on what Ed had in his hands.

           ''Yeah, right, Ed! Elvis is so yesterday!'' But Ed didn't catch the joke as he laughed along.

           ''I don't know, Ed...'' Double D told him. ''It's a nice thought, but keep in mind that—‘’

           ''Dammit, Double D, you ain't gonna find nothing these days but beach movies, westerns, crime dramas and Dick Van Dyke!'' Eddy said rather annoyed as he threw up his hands.

           ''There must be something,'' Edd tried again, but no sooner had he spoken when Eddy disappeared into none other than the crime section. ''Eddy!'' but when he tried to follow him, Eddy emerged once more from behind one of the shelves and jabbed his finger into Edd’s lower torso, his hand imitating the gesture of a gun.

           ''This is a stick-up,'' he said in a gravelly voice as he pushed Edd back into one of the walls. ''Guess who, Double D?''

           ''Haha, very funny, Clyde!'' he mocked as he pushed Eddy’s hand away, catching on.

           ''C'mon, Sock Head, you're no fun! Bonnie & Clyde is da shit!''

           ''I doubt Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway is a good influence for —‘’

           But before he could finish his reply, Johnny 2x4 interrupted them. They both jumped clean out of their skin, expecting to see someone else, but they sighed in relief upon seeing the small child with his board of wood in tow. Neither Ed had even known Jonny was in the store with them.

           ‘’Watcha guys doin’?’’ Jonny inquired in his usual piqued curiosity. Eddy was about to tell him to get lost but Jonny continued on. ‘’Why be couch potatoes, huh? Plank says there’s gonna be a solar eclipse tonight.’’

           Ed, who had briefly returned from his movie hunt, gasped and repeated to his friends, ‘’Did you hear that, guys? Plank says there’s gonna be a solar eclipse tonight!’’

           Eddy only snorted. ‘’We don’t need an echo, Ed, we heard him the first time.’’

           ‘’PLANK SAYS!’’ Ed protested.

           ‘’Yeah, right! That stupid piece of firewood don’t know jack shit!’’ Edd was about to chastise Eddy once more for his cursing but Jonny cut him off.

           ‘’Says you!’’ Jonny accused. ‘’Plank knows everything!’’

           ‘’Yeah, Eddy,’’ Ed defended, ‘’you’re gonnna hurt the poor lil guy’s feelings! Plank told me my birthday’s Feburary 27th! That proves he knows everything!’’

           ‘’Ed,’’ Double D piped up, ‘’your birthday is always February 27th!’’ then he turned to Jonny, also skeptical of Plank’s prediction. ‘’And besides, we already had a solar eclipse last month!’’

           ‘’So?’’ Jonny challenged him arrogantly.

           ‘’So,’’ Double D emphasized, ‘’total solar eclipses only occur every eighteen months on average, and it is estimated they reoccur at any given place only every 360 to 410 years… generally speaking. So another solar eclipse couldn’t possibly occur tonight, Jonny, it’s not possible! Science would forever be changed.’’

           ‘’Yeah, what he said!’’ Eddy shot back.

           '''Fine, who needs ya guys anyways?'' Jonny snapped and stormed off with Plank in tow.

             Ed was the only one who believed Jonny—er—Plank, and went over to his house that night to prepare for another total solar eclipse. Eddy and Edd stood by their skepticism and hung out in Edd’s bedroom, finishing their homework (or at least Edd was doing homework, Eddy was reading comic books if Edd recalled correctly). They were both proved wrong when the sky suddenly darkened and when they ventured outside, they were both amazed and shocked to see a total solar eclipse occurring right before their eyes! Jonny and Ed never let them hear the end of it, feeling superior to any scientific proof.

           ‘’We told ya so, we told ya so!’’ they chanted every day.

           Edd couldn’t explain it—all the books and mathematical calculations could not prove how Jonny—or Plank, in this case—could have possibly predicted another solar eclipse, a month after an eclipse had already occurred! Solar eclipses were rare events— a pair of eclipses occurring two months in a row had never happened before—it was just not possible!

           I am a collective soul who prefers to keep a small inner circle around me. Too many is overwhelming and misguided. I have my books, my parents, and Plank. What more do I need? I have my Masters, the Blue Light, and the voices of my angels ''singing songs'' in my head. I don't need any friends (that's a lie), I don't even need myself (that's the truth). My best friend is and always will be Plank, unaccompanied by my mirror- - a friend I have known my entire life. And now I am proud to say that I consider you a close friend, though distant through the years, and far away. One does not need to face a good friend in order to feel each other's heart beat in the darkness. One may never meet, and feel closer to them than a person they had known seemingly for a thousand years. That being said, I can sit in my room alone in the company of the shadows on the wall. My mother could be in the next room or not there at all, and I'll still feel her presence through the fibers of my skin. I can be sitting here reading an e-mail, and though separated by a glass screen, it would seem as though you were sitting there before me, reading the words aloud to me in your voice full of wit and wisdom.

           I prefer the quiet conversations of the trees to the chorus of voices in a crowd. I prefer the blood in my veins to the water in the pond. One must learn to be lonely, and learn to live life alone. One who is always in need of more than two friends is insecure and has low self-esteem. It is not healthy to live one's life completely in seclusion, but one must also embrace the beautiful moments of alone-ness, and will come to appreciate a passion for life in which the world rejects when surrounded by one too many faces. Plutarch once said, '' I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.''

             Thankfully welcome.