#this turned out more poem-ish than I planned

[frenchkisstheabyss]

✦ love poem ✦

✦ Pairing: dad!choi san x pregnant!chubby!fem!reader w/ appearances by ot8

✦ Genre: fluff/light angst

✦ Summary: Being pregnant during the holidays has been hectic. Especially for your fiance San whose tight work schedule has him under pressure. But when his best friend Hwa steps in to ease the burden on him by being there for you, it creates more jealousy than Christmas cheer.

✦ Word Count: 3.5k-ish

✦ Warnings: pregnant reader, occasionally strong language, some quick lusting after San while he's in the shower (nothing graphic), & that's all.

✦ A/N: I really wanted to write something sweet with like the tiniest bit of angst so there's nothing heavy here. It's mostly just lovey dovey shit cause, I mean, I'm a lover girl. What can I say?

Standing at the entrance of the tunnel of lights, you watch in awe as thousands of tiny bulbs twinkle to the tune of the Christmas music that coasts along the night air. Every year the local zoo holds a massive festival of lights to celebrate the holiday season. During your first year here San had plans to take you to opening night but, with his schedule being as unpredictable as it is, that never did happen. This year though, he promised that nothing would stop you from experiencing this together and he meant it.

As much as San and the rest of the boys hyped this place up to you, nothing could’ve prepared you for how breathtaking it is in person. It’s magical. The carnival rides, the little Christmas themed games, the stalls selling some of the best food you ever tasted. And the displays. They’re pure art. It may be too cold for the animals to be out but the elaborate light sculptures of them make up for it tenfold. Children race through the light tunnels while couples cuddle up in line for hot cocoa. If ever “Winter Wonderland” were a place this would have to be it.

“Stop running!” Hongjoong yells from behind you. Seconds later Mingi and Jongho dart past you in a blur. You turn in time to see the look of defeat on Hongjoong’s face as he approaches with the others close behind. “I swear sometimes they act like children,” he groans, “Take it from me. Don’t have kids. It’s not worth it.” Popping on a pair of knit gloves, Yunho gestures towards the pregnant belly rounding out your thick winter coat. “I think that advice is about 7 months too late.”

Hongjoong gasps in horror, “Oh. I mean, you know, except that one. I’m sure it’ll be a cute little thing.” You can only giggle at how flustered any mention of your pregnancy gets him. Hongjoong hasn’t quite grasped that San’s about to be someone’s dad. Even as your belly has grown, he’s managed to periodically forget what’s happening but he’s trying to be supportive and it’s sweet. Seonghwa pats you softly on the belly, laying his head on your shoulder, “Pay him no mind. She’ll be a cute little baby. Not a thing. I mean, look at her mom”

"Oh, Hwa, you’re too sweet” you blush, patting him on the cheek. “The baby! I think it kicked!” He’s right. You felt it. It’s about that time of night after all. The moment she could start kicking she did. Especially around bedtime. Suddenly they’re all gathered close around you staring at your stomach as if the baby will burst out at this very moment like some alien spawn. Woo kneels down in front of you, resting his hand behind Hwa’s. “Aah!” he squeals, “She’s saying hi to her uncles. Hi, baby!”

By now Mingi and Jongho have circled back, stopping dead in their tracks to see what all the fuss is about. “What’s going on?” Jongho asks, Mingi’s hat clenched in his hand. Mingi snatches his hat back, peering over Jongho’s shoulder, “It’s not happening is it?” Seeing the panic in his eyes, you immediately jump to calm him down, “Not yet. She’s kicking up a fuss. That’s all.” “So much like her dad already” Yeosang teases, just as San appears to push them aside. “Hands off!” he orders, shooing them away, “I go to the bathroom for two seconds and you’re already crowding my kid.”

The others just laugh, not expecting to witness such a perfect example of Yeosang’s statement so soon. “You okay? Everything okay?” he asks, fixing the scarf around your next and popping your hood over your head. “Baby, it’s not that cold.” “Temperature’s supposed to drop 5 degrees in the next half hour. Gotta stay toasty, honey.” San’s always been attentive, doing everything he could to make sure you were taken care of but the pregnancy has kicked it into overdrive.

Taking his hands, you give him a warm peck on the lips and flash a smile that soothes his worries. “I’m okay, Sannie. I promise. Now let’s go.” The tunnel’s far more mesmerizing from the inside than it is simply looking in. It feels like a portal to a different world, replacing the darkness of the night sky with constellations of red and green that guide you to the next section of the zoo. Each area has one unique to the space you’re about to step into.

A tunnel of mistletoe and vines for the flower garden. One built like a giant sleigh for the reindeer village. And that’s not even half of it. How anyone can make it through this place in one night is beyond you. Then again, not everyone is toting another human around in their belly. By the time you make it through the ice tunnel into the replica North Pole, your feet are killing you but you try to hold it together.

Between doctor’s appointments, work, redecorating the apartment, and a million other things that need to be done before the baby arrives, there’s been zero time to do anything fun. Calling it quits this early feels wrong. Especially since San's been so stressed lately. Spending time with the guys seems to be just the thing he needed to shake some of that off.

“How many more lights do we have to see before we’ve seen enough?” Mingi whines, dragging his feet. Alright, so maybe someone else is as over it as you are. Yunho slaps Mingi on the back, taking a deep breath, “Have some holiday cheer! We’re in such a beautiful place. Where else would you rather be?” “Somewhere warm! With food!” Woo adds, backing Mingi up. Jongho jumps it, never one to miss the opportunity, “And drinks! When’s the last time we all had drinks together?”

Hongjoong crosses his arms, throwing them some wicked side eye, until he realizes, “Actually it has been a while since we went out for drinks.” Woo wraps his arms around Yeosang, determined to rope him into this plan, “You in? Say yes. Say yes!” “Yeah, sure fine, whatever” Yeosang laughs, shrugging him off. Hwa clears his throat, preparing to be the bearer of bad news, “Well it’s not just us you guys. There’s kinda a 10th person here now.”

For a fleeting moment, you were able to detect some excitement on San’s face and Hwa’s words wipe it away in an instant. Everyone falls silent, not quite sure what to do with the awkwardness of the moment. “Hey,” you say, lovingly rubbing San’s chest, “Why don’t you go get those drinks?” “What? No. I’m not leaving you. We said we’d do this.” “We did and I’ve had the best time but, honestly, my feet hurt like shit.” “Then I’ll take you home and run some water so you can soak your feet” San insists, guiding you out of the way of an approaching crowd.

“San, please, for the love of god, go” you beg, looking to his friends for support. “I’ll take her home!” Hwa volunteers, “I’m not really up for drinking anyway.” San glares skeptically back and forth between the two of you. He wants to protest but he gets the sense that arguing with you is a losing battle and he’s right. “Fine” he relents, “But text me when you get home. Love you.” The way you light up when he finally gives in is one of the infinite reasons why he loves you the way that he does. “I will. Love you too.” “Love you three!” “Love you four!” you say, kissing him before Jongho begins to drag him in the other direction. “We’re not doing this all night! Let’s go!”

Parting ways is a sea of goodbyes and bickering that continues until you lose sight of the rest of the group. Hooking his arm into yours, Hwa directs you towards a festive snack stand not too far away. “Wanna eat like trash before we go home?” he offers with a mischievous grin, knowing San would murder him if he knew. You nod, playfully tearing up, “I thought you’d never ask.” 

“Baby, have you seen my keys?” you shout from the bedroom, digging through your purse for the third time. “Huh?” San calls back, the water rushing from the shower making it impossible to hear you. Shuffling down the hall, you pop your head into the bathroom. “I was asking if you’d seen my keys.” San peeks from behind the shower curtain, shampoo bubbles dripping down his sculpted cheekbones. In an instant, you forget all about your keys. What else could possibly matter when San’s standing here dripping wet, every muscle in his defined chest glistening like gold. Snap out of it. This is how you got pregnant in the first place. 

“I saw them by the stove I think.” “Thanks, ya cutie” you wink, ready to skip off to find them. “Wait,” he says before you can make it more than a step and a half away, “You’re all dressed up. Where are you going?” Scanning your outfit, you don’t see anything particularly “dressed up” about what you’re wearing. Some knit overalls with a cozy sweater underneath and your favorite boots are far from red carpet ready in your mind. “Hwa’s taking me shopping for decorations. Don’t you remember?” San frowns, only vaguely remembering the conversation, “Why didn’t you ask me?” “I did but you said you were busy today so Hwa offered to take me.” 

Your phone dings in your pocket. You fish it out and find a text message from Hwa telling you he’s outside. “Ooh, speak of the devil. Gotta run.” Carefully, you make your way across the bathroom floor, giving him a kiss that you struggle to keep innocent with the knowledge of what’s behind the curtain. “Have fun and tell Joong I said hi! I’ll bring you back something!” you sing and you’re off to find your keys. San’s frozen in place, unable to bring himself to move an inch. Even after he’s heard the apartment door close, it takes him a second to get back to his shower.

It’s been two weeks since the light festival and you’ve seen Hwa every few days since. Every time San’s too busy to do something Hwa’s right there to help. When did he become so available? You always come home so happy too. Were you that happy with him? Letting the water wash over his head, he tries to shake away his jealous thoughts.

You moved here to be with him and, in that time, the only friends you’d made were his. Hwa’s just being a good friend to the both of you, helping when San’s unable to. Thinking that it's anything else is ridiculous. All of the long hours spent working must be getting to him. Hwa would never...

You would never...

Neither of you would...

Right? Right? 

Pregnancy hormones. They’re the one thing no one can ever quite prepare you for. One minute you’re hanging ornaments on the tree, humming along to your music in a cozy pair of pajamas. The next you’re crying on the kitchen floor, stuffing your mouth with the cookies you baked for the holiday party tomorrow.

It’s nearly midnight and everything makes you emotional. The lights on the tree are too bright, your feet feel swollen, the cookies aren’t as sweet as you'd like, and suddenly you can’t stand the song that’s playing despite it being one of your favorites. You want everything off but then the house would be quiet and empty. You’d be reminded that you’re all alone until San comes home tomorrow and cry even harder.

You pull out your phone to call him but when you see the time you decide not to. His flight is in a few hours and he’s already told you what a long day he had. You’d hate to wake him up, to burden him any more than you feel you already have.  Just as you’re about to put your phone down it lights up. A text from Seonghwa. Some adorable video of a cat dressed up as one of Santa’s elves.

The poor thing looks miserable running around in that costume but it makes you laugh enough to stop you from spiraling. Taking a deep breath, you wipe away the tears blurring your vision and shoot a text back. 

You: Thanks. I really needed that.

Hwa: Why? Something wrong?

You: I’m having a crying thing. Kinda sad tonight.

Hwa: Need some company?

Without thinking, you type out the words “You don’t have to—” before erasing them and typing out something new. "Sure!"

It takes him no time at all to reach you. The streets are empty this time of night and he only lives a half hour away. Even if he lived two hours away—three hours away—he’d drive every single one of them to come support you. When you became someone special to San, you became someone special to him too. He’s never seen San more serious about anything than he's been about you and this baby. As much as he wishes that San would get out of his head a bit more, it’s cute to see him love something so much. 

“Anybody home?” Hwa whispers, his eyes narrowing when he notices that your front door is cracked. “Come in” you sob from the couch, blowing your nose for what feels like the 1000th time since you sent that last text. Hwa follows a trail of discarded tissues to find you curled up on the couch, as curled as you can be this far along in your pregnancy. “Hey, hey, don’t cry” he coos, easing himself down onto the couch and resting your head in his lap, “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

You try to speak but you’re too short of breath to get anything out. Hwa strokes your hair, taking slow breaths in and out, “Follow me, okay? In and out.” You shake your head in protest. The whole room is closing in around you. You can’t do it. “Just try it. For me. Please” he begs so sweetly that you can’t refuse. Deep breath in, long breath out. The same way that they taught you in those birthing classes you went to. “This is total bullshit” you’d whispered to San at one point during the class but it turns out it isn’t bullshit at all. 

After a few seconds, the tightness in your chest eases and the room begins to open up. The world isn’t falling apart anymore. You’re safe. Hwa sits with you in silence as your breathing quiets, dabbing away any rogue tears that drip down your cheeks. “Is San happy with me?” you ask, catching him off guard, “Is this too much for him, do you think?” Hwa laughs, knowing how extremely far from the truth both of those questions are. “Hwa, it’s not funny! I’m serious!” “I’m sorry! I’m not trying to make fun of you, it’s just—if you make him happy or not, that’s not a question. He’s crazy about you.”

Grabbing the small blanket folded over the back of the couch, he opens it up and tucks you in with it. “None of this is too much,” he swears, “You and her…” Hwa pokes your belly, making you giggle. “You guys are everything he’s ever wanted. He pushes himself so much because he wants to be perfect for you.” You yawn, Hwa’s presence and the warm blanket activating the exhaustion you’ve been fighting. “But he’s already perfect to me. Why can’t he see that?” “Mmm, it’s really hard sometimes to see ourselves the way other people do but he’ll come around. I promise.”

If there’s one similarity you’ve come to find between San and Hwa it’s how important promises are to them. If Hwa says he’ll come around then he will. They’d been friends for ages before you came into the picture. They’ve gone through more together than you can imagine. If Hwa's confident about it, then you have to believe it too. You drift off to sleep, your brain still spinning but much quieter now, trusting that everything will be just fine.

Right? Right? 

“Listen to yourself. You sound crazy!” Hwa snaps, trying his hardest not to raise his voice in the midst of his anger. San tosses his bags to the floor and they hit with a thud that shakes you from your sleep. “I come home to you cuddled up on the couch with her and I’m crazy?” “She texted me last night that she was crying. What was I supposed to do?” “Tell me! And let me take care of her! She’s not yours so stop treating her like she is!”

San’s jaw clenches, the jealousy he’s been harboring turning into true pain for the first time. He thought he had this under control. Those hours of talking with Woo about how stupid his suspicions were had chased off his insecurities. But coming in, tired and cranky from his flight, to see you so peacefully cuddled against Hwa had undone all of it. He wanted to kill him and the knowledge that he was the first one you reached for when you were hurting only adds fuel to the fire currently burning his self control to ash.

“Sannie?” you squeak, stretching out your cramped limbs, “What’s going on?” You sit up, eyes still squinted, to see what all of the fuss is about. Hwa hangs his head, unable to face you, “I think I should go. If you need me I’m here for both of you.” “Wait, no!” you say, doing your best to roll off of the couch and stop him but by the time you’re on your feet he’s gone. Turning your attention to San, you immediately sense his anger. Something happened and whatever it was has him fuming.

“Baby, what happened? You can talk to—” “Is there something going on between you two?” “What?” you laugh, placing your hands on your lower back for support. You keep laughing but the sharpness of his expression never changes. He’s actually waiting for an answer. “Oh god, you’re serious. You’re actually asking me if I’m fucking Seonghwa.” “I didn’t say that.” “But that’s what you’re saying. That’s what you think of me.”

You catch yourself wanting to cry again, only this time it isn’t because of the pregnancy hormones. It’s because you waited for days to see the man you love only to be accused of something like this. San can almost see the moment your heart breaks, making him regret his doubts in an instant. “He’s been helping me because I was worried about you burning yourself out. That’s it. I wouldn’t do that to you.” Your bottom lip quivers and the tears are rushing from your eyes again. “Fuck, I’m so tired of crying” you huff, flopping back down onto the couch. 

San’s at your side quicker than he’s ever been, his arms wrapped around you like he never wants to let go. “I’m sorry! Please don’t cry. I didn’t mean it. I know you’d never do that.” “Then why were you two arguing? Why even ask me?” “Because I’m afraid” he admits, leaving you both shocked at his admission. He’s scared, terrified, so much that it keeps him up at night. “I’m afraid I’m not good enough to be what you need me to be and it was easier to be jealous than to admit that.”

You’re frustrated enough that you could slap him but your body feels so at home in his embrace that you can’t pull away. “You’re good enough for me…for us, San. You have to believe me when I say that.” “Then why do you call him when you’re crying and not me?” “Because,” you sigh, “I’m afraid too. I don’t want to lean on you too much.” “What? Lean on me too much?” he asks, almost offended, “Lean on me all you want. What do you think I work out for?”

You giggle when you feel his muscles flex against you, “San, be serious!” “I am! Lean on me, please. We’re a team. I need you to trust me to be here.” You stare at him, your eyes beautiful enough to hypnotize him even when they’re clouded with tears. “You have to trust me to be here too, you know?” San kisses your forehead, one hand gently massaging your back, “I trust you, baby.” Closing your eyes a tingly feeling washes over you. Is it love? The Christmas spirit? The tingling is chased by a contraction stronger than any period cramp you’ve ever felt.

“The baby’s coming!” you shout, gripping your stomach. San jumps back in shock as if he didn’t know you were pregnant to begin with. “Are you sure?” “You said you trust me!” “I do! I do! Hold on!” Leaning you back on the couch, San darts around the apartment collecting all of the things he’s prepared over the last few months to make you comfortable when this happens. A bag packed with clothes for you and your favorite slippers. Phone chargers, baby wipes, stuffed animals, the snacks you love. The list is endless.

“I’ll pull the car up and come back for you, okay?” he says, propping your feet up on the coffee table as he tries to put your coat on. “Just get the car. I’m okay.” “You sure?” “I’m sure and San,” you say, grabbing his arm. “Yeah?” “You’re gonna be a great dad. The best ever.” San can’t fight the smile that spreads across his face or the slight reddening of his cheeks. You believe in him, you truly do, and for the first time, he does too.

[ghostofasecretary]

[placeholder, to be filled with more goals later] list

Monday plots:

- (Mon) call that one guy and see if you can become a New Patient (i hate everything) (i don't WANNA) (i do want reliable access to meds 2k25 so. UGH. FINE. GOD) (find office phone number, that's step number 1)

- (Mon) update finances spreadsheet

- (Mon) write cards MONDAY? correspondence, something like "Dear [Name], Happy New Year! I hope you had a peaceful and restful holiday season, and I hope 2025 brings you exciting opportunities and joy. All best, Ghost" is fine

- (Mon) walk cards to post office; also check in re: the fucking "locker" (9400 140 2023 71 001 476 469) (got follow up step for later)

- (Mon) rinse off, shampoo hair

- okay. well. The Guy does not exist (or at least i could not find them) so i'm back to finding a new guy. have a list. gotta decide if i want a psych or pcp; if i trusted the pcp i could theoretically knock out my pap smear with them but this would require me to trust the pcp, so. that seems. unlikely. i trust psychs more than normal doctors for whatever reason. so maybe go with the psychs? but also my last visit with my pcp was March so i WILL run out of refills from that guy in the next three months and DO need a pcp. uuuuuuuuugh. let's...call that pcp office and check c 1pm. next available isn't till mid July! try another guy

- (Mon) make pumpkin bread to share with fremb

- (Mon) sort out Polluted Yarn

- (Mon) hang with J Monday afternoon (2ish) <- solidify plans, send text (done Sat night, Sun morning)

- (Mon) get that jump ring measurement to J for 3d printing so you can fix that cami

- (Mon) what am i gonna make Monday to eat Tues/maybe Wends for work lunch. tofu curry! yum! nice

- (Mon) eat leftover dal + broccoli

- do limited amount of lesson planning. like. more than zero not more than two

- nutrition spreadsheet

food:

- (1/13? 1/14?) use up last two bananas

- make pumpkin seed granola to give yourself more snacky foods

- (try granola bars with dates????)

- (Sun 19) wash blue shirt

(Sun 19) wash clothes:

- (Sun 19) wash misc clothing

- (Sun 19) wash gold sweater

- (Sun 19) wash another sweater

med quest:

- call hospital pharmacies re: med availability

- see about dental etc care here

- call lgbt friendly pcp providers

""Ghost's academic life:""

- poetry (1) type edits to t1, 2) type edits to t2, 3) type draft of M, 4) work on M and/or R (1/10/25), 5) do new smooth English translation (your fav song, that one) + send, 6) set + confirm meeting time)

- new poems! yay!!

- uh. class on Friday??? fuck my lifeeeeeeeeee (or let me rework my priorities)

- i really need to like. do a general Arabic grammar review

- and get back into Anki for Persian

mending:

- coral house skirt mending

- pj pant hem maintenance (coral hole, grey hem)

- preventative-ish darning/reinforcement of every canvas bag you own

- (Sun 19) repair main slip

- hem blue pants so you can actually wear them

- sew strap covers onto green dress

dreams:

- haircut nice for Ghost brain good of long Ghost neck

- could i grow herbs in my room? cilantro (and maybe mint, if controllable, which. it's mint) would be ideal

(Sat 18) plant green onion sprouts

- any free performances in my area? try to go See More Live Art

- give yourself more knitting time

list items 1/2/24 in blue

outfits 2024

outfit spreadsheet?? meh

meal plan for Being Cheap

free grocery store

make list of food banks to explore

1/7/25 list leftovers in purple

"contact" "people" for your ""career""

sort papers for real and not just for fake

make a scarf for A with the other yarn?

bonus Arabic reading practice (prolly not gonna happen)

list items 1/12/25 in black

done list (min. 1 day ago):

- (Fri) change sheets + wash sheets & apron

- (Sat) game with friends

- (Sat) 2025 Calendar

- (Sat) start yogurt making (finish tomorrow (Sun) 7:45am)

- (Sat) roast squash seeds

- (Sat) make banana bread with 3/5 bananas

- (Sat) turn mint skein into a yarn ball

- (Sat) call M

- (Sat) refill meds for the week

- (Sun) job paperwork

- (Sun) request anticonvulsants from doc

- (Sun) clean toilet, bathtub

- (Sun) attempt once again to destain/deep clean bathroom walls and floor boards

- (Sun) repair coat pockets

- (Sun) repair coat lining hem

- (Sun) groceries (stay under $30! thoughts: i would love peanuts and dried apricots but. strugglier items for budget, so select produce (+ milk?) first. sweet potato!! more broccoli/leafy greens. carrots and onions in bags if available. tomatoes, obvs. good on ginger for the next week. could buy an onion bag to cut up + freeze some extras for future use, which could save on future bills. also remember food pantries Are An Option To Explore) (well. got apricots and peanuts AND paper towels which took me over $30 but once my roommates pay me back for their share it should only be over by, like, 4 cents)

- (Sun) help roommate out a minimal amount. or for. two hours, of course i took two hours, fuck me

- (Sun) TIMECARD

- (Sun) MAINTENANCE REQUEST FOR BEEPING. GAH. text housemate for advice (Sat) it's on the rent portal, cool, you can do this

- (Sun) CANCEL OBGYN APPT (call tomorrow even tho closed b/c insurance bs)

- (Sun) make tofu + broccoli with peanut sauce. or spiced broccoli + tofu curry? need to use broccoli first and also eat spinach soon. or just cook broccoli! fine!

- (Sun) see what MS texted (re: med advice?)

- (Sun) ask group chat for rubbing alcohol/hairspray/acetone to try on coral skirt marker stains!! (also J + A) (can you borrow from someone)

- (Sun) wash another slip

- (Sun) leisure items: knit, drink tea, finish Jenny Nicholson video, new Cult Flav, check out some cookbooks to browse

[moltengoldveins]

when I was in my second year of college my professor allowed me to write an eight minute-ish poem (~1100 words) in the rhyme form of a few of Tolkien’s poems (Far Over the Misty Mountains, Durin’s song, etc) recounting the chapter Fire and Water in the hobbit, the one where Smaug is woken and comes to lake town and is defeated by Bard. I recited it for the assignment, people liked it a lot, great, whatever.

THEN, it turns out my dad bragged on me to my boss who is also his boss (and kinda… childhood acquaintance? Friend? Their dads were bros but in vastly differing wealth brackets so it’s a bit odd-) and he’s a MASSIVE Tolkien fan so he asked to hear it, and I read it for his family. Great, whatever, now I have experience reading this poem and I’m comfortable enough reading it in front of people.

THEN. then. recently I went to an open mic poetry night at my church that happens every couple months, and while I was planning just to go and not speak I was approached by one of the people running it and asked to present something, so I thought “well, I’ve practiced reading this poem, might as well!”

I get up to the mic. I ask “show of hands, who in this room has read the Hobbit or the Lord of the Rings?” And in a room of about seventy people, three people raised their hands, a twenty-something and his parents. OOF, I think. I have never considered whether this poem would read well in front of non-fans of Tolkien. Well. Here goes nothing.

I read with all the drama and excitement I can muster, and quite a few of the people actually came up to me later and said that, while they’d never read the story, they followed it and were really excited about it.

But then. The open mic closes. People disperse to begin talking. I glance up from where I’ve been rummaging n my bag to see the aforementioned twenty-something BOOKING IT across the room through the crowd to get to me. Just like, making his WAY downtown.

now. To give you a mental image. He is extremely tall. Thin blond hair. Thick-rimmed square glasses. Thinner than embroidery thread and, by appearance, twice as flimsy, as he is hunched alll the way into his shoulders, which, I must add, are narrower than mine. The demeanor of a nervous echidna. A black windbreaker zipped alllllll the way up to the base of his throat, actually digging into his throat, which may have attributed to the distinct stutter he spoke with. Sleeves in paws over his hands. All of this leads me to believe I am talking with quite possibly the most anxious, frightened, awkward, rizzless man id ever encountered. I wondered for a split instant if he would even manage to say anything to me at all, and began making mental plans, as one does, to make myself as nonthreatening as possible so I wouldn’t accidentally frighten him into cardiac arrest and be accused of murder in the Lord’s house.

However. My worry was immediately disproven as he offered me a handshake, (sweaty, but firm) introduced himself, and within twenty words had said that the poem was one of the most incredible things he’d ever heard, that I seemed to be an amazing person whom he’d really just love to get to know more, and asked “if I wanted to get hot chocolate sometime.” Stuttering all the while of course, but still doggedly determined to get the words out.

Longtime mutuals will know, I am ace. I am not interested in dating men. Even if I were, this is not the type of man I am interested in spending time around. THAT BEING SAID…. I did give him my number. His wet stoat demeanor and balls to the wall shot of confidence baffled and delighted me enough that I was like “what the hell. There’s a small chance you’re not insane and actually a fun person to be around. There’s an even smaller chance you’re might just be ok with being friends. I’m gonna give him a chance. Prove me wrong, frightened little man. Do it, no balls.”

so yeah. That’s how I apparently seduced a man with Tolkien poetry and actually nothing else. He has my number now. I haven’t texted him or anything, but yeah. That happened 👍

ALSO, SIDE NOTE: the plot thickens, because today I got a text from him asking if I’d like to hang out at one of two church events. As I am in the choir for one of the events (caroling) I will already be there! So we shall see how this goes, and I will update you all posthaste.

Have I ever told the story on here of how I once accidentally seduced a man using nothing but Tolkien poetry. I feel like that story would do well on the tumbler dot com. Did I tell it and just forget or did I never mention it-

[ceijoh]

CONTRITION

relationship: sakusa kiyoomi x reader

summary: sakusa was never good at voicing out his feelings for you and he fears that because of this he doesn’t deserve you. based on lang leav’s poem; contrition (poem at the bottom).

content: fluff, angst-ish on Sakusa’s part

Word count: 1.1k+

He was never the most open, preferring the company of himself, or a few close friends (who happen to be the opposite of him), he preferred doing his own thing and fading into the background. He was content. Sakusa’s life was easy, he had his routine that he perfected. If he had practice, it was wake up at 5:30am, go for a run, come back, shower then head to practice. After, he would have his meal that his nutritionist planned for him, then go to bed and repeat it over again.

Other people in his life often judged him albeit not to his face about his routine, frankly, he didn’t care. He was happy. It was what he wanted because he created it. He could see himself doing it until the rest of his life.

Until you.

You turned his life upside down, and at first it caused an internal panic within him. He wasn’t used to sharing his life with anyone else. Even his parents and siblings often left him alone. It wasn't like you rudely intruded into his life either, you didn’t come barging in, it was slow in Sakusa’s opinion.

You were friends first, having met through Bokuto. Sakusa deep down feared that you were like his very outgoing larger-than-life friend, but it turned out you weren’t. You were reserved much like him, but once he really got to know you and you were comfortable with him, it seemed like you were a different person.

Sakusa didn’t realise that his routine that he dearly loved was changing to fit you into it. Rather, it evolved to fit you into it. It didn’t hit him until one day in March that you crept into his life so well, that all of the things he did before he didn’t do it anymore.

It should have annoyed him, and it would have unsettled him, breaking his carefully constructed routine. But even before moving in together he wanted to rush his day so he could see you. Instead of having the dinner he would have everyday, he was eager to see what you planned for the two of you. Was it you cooking? You and him? Or were you trying out that new place on the corner? When the two of you moved in, as much as wanted and needed to wake up early to run, he instead craved to sleep beside you, craving those extra hours with you even if you were asleep.

You changed his life and he couldn’t be more thankful for it.

--

“(Y/N)?” Sakusa gently spoke, and you turned to him, placing your phone down. “I’m sorry.”

You furrowed your brows, and quickly racked your brain, “What for?”

Sakusa began to pout and refused to make eye contact with you, instead focusing on the framed picture of the two of you by the door. “For not saying I love you enough,” he shrugged like it didn’t mean anything to him.

You frowned and instead of replying instantly, you moved yourself to straddle him. Bringing up your hands to cup his cheeks so he could look at you, you could still see the slight pout on Sakusa’s face, “That’s ridiculous, Omi,” you caressed his cheek, “you don’t have to say it everyday. I know that you love me, and you know that I love you.”

Sakusa turned his face away, and mumbled,“I don’t deserve you,” there was sadness in his voice and you could hear the defeat. His shoulders slumped as if proving your thoughts right.

You gently pushed his face to look at you again, one look into his eyes and you knew that he fully believed what he just said, with his statement in mind, you frowned and sat back on his legs but tangling your hands with his.

Sakusa was right, he didn’t deserve you. He was very picky in terms of the things he wanted in his life, from the brand of sanitizer that he uses, to the people he wants to care for. He was often rather moody, and quite childish when things didn’t go his way -not that he’d let anyone see it. He was sometimes difficult to deal with as he was quite stubborn, and more often than not lays out ultimatums even though he doesn’t see it that way.

But he was also wrong. Sakusa didn’t see himself the way you saw him, and maybe that was the problem. He didn’t see himself going out of his way every single time after practice to pick up your favourite dessert, and if there was a new volume of that new manga you wanted he would also pick up. Sakusa didn’t see himself during the early mornings when you both had the day off and all he wants is to stay in bed and cuddle until you’re both starving.

He doesn’t see himself when he laughs. Not the quiet and polite chuckle that everyone sees from him, but a full-on throw his head back laugh. It was rare but when it happens it was a sight to see. To see him so carefree, to see his eyes light up like a little kid, and when he turns to you to make sure that you see it, and you see his smile that you fell in love with. Or when he finds something particularly funny and he looks towards you to make sure you can saw it too.

He doesn’t hear himself when he thinks you’re asleep and he tells you all the dreams that he has of the two of you for the future. How he’s already planned the names of the children you’ll have, and what they meant, and how he can’t start his forever that he didn’t know he wanted with you.

He doesn’t see himself when you get nervous, or antsy, or having a terrible day and he’s there in front of you, dropping everything that he has on his plate just to hold your hands. To softly trace them to calm you down, to bring you back down to him.

He doesn’t see that he’s been your rock ever since you met, your silent support who screams the loudest in a room full of people.

Yes, he was difficult, and maybe he didn’t deserve you, but you had him, and he had you and that was enough.

“That is honestly the stupidest thing that you have ever said to me,” you pushed yourself up so you were now hugging him instead. “I never, ever want to hear you say those words ever again, Omi.”

It was now your turn to pout, “That hurts me, you know. And I want to hurt the people that ever showed you that you were undeserving of love, gonna fight them for you.”

At that, Sakusa couldn’t help but laugh, he brought up his fingers and pinched your nose, “No one’s ever fought for me before.”

You looked at him and smiled gently, caressing his face once again, you uttered the words, “Gonna fight for you forever, Omi, always,” you hoped they conveyed everything that you wanted, the love that you held for him now and the love you’ll hold for him until the end of the days.

Looking into his face, you saw the doubt and the defeat from his face washed away, and instead replaced by awe and the usual love that he often had whenever he looked at you.

You’ll gladly spend the rest of your life showing Kiyoomi that he was deserving of your love, because you knew that he’ll do the same for you. 

There was a look in his eyes I had never seen before. And it took me a few moments to recognize for what it was. Remorse.

I don’t deserve you, he said, half-defeated, half-hopeful. It was the most honest thing he had ever said to me. And he was right. He didn’t deserve me. Not by a long shot. But he had me nonetheless.

-do not repost to any website without my permission

[the-bugs-under-ur-skin]

Yandere Sunny, Kel, Basil HC’s - Omori

[small spoiler alerts for Omori] 

[yandere Sunny x reader]

-Sunny is quiet most of the time, so he’ll probably be watching you more than talking to you

-That doesn’t always mean stalking, however. Even if you’re good friends he’d just stay by your side and have his eyes glued to you the entire time

-Don’t be mistaken though, Sunny definitely still has stalker-ish tendencies 

-He would take pictures of you on his own, but maybe if he needed to he’d steal a pic or two from Basil

-his love for you isn’t exactly a secret. his constant clinginess and red face is evidence of that.

-sometimes he’ll just wait outside his house hoping you walk by and ask him to hang out

-if you do end up hanging out, he’ll make sure you guys spend the whole day together.

-he’ll purposely be stubborn and quiet to draw time with you out sometimes

-since Sunny doesn’t really have anything else going for him he might rely on you a little too much

-he legit can’t lose you, it’s his new biggest fear

-he really wants to invite you over his house for a sleepover because he just wants to wake up from one of those nightmares and know it’s all okay

-unfortunately, Sunny might never find the words to properly invite you over

-very protective of you, 100%

-he’s always ready to slice someone when you need it <3

-like legit, he wouldn’t mind killing someone in front of you

-hopefully you don’t mind it, he never learns his lesson and his anger can’t be controlled when it comes between you and danger

-Sunny is also pretty touch-starved when it comes to you

-he won’t usually initiate most affection however, he’ll give you hugs on special occasions

- more often he’ll just stand very close to you and would even lean against your side when it’s just you and him

-so hopefully you can understand and turn around to give him a hug

-he’d probably start to shake and his entire face will glow red

-like, for real, he’ll be all emotionless and stuff but even the thought of being actually touched can send him into a flustered panic

-if you ever have to go away for a bit on a trip or something he’ll probably be stuck in his own head, only thinking about you

-just talk to him when you can, it’ll help in the long run, i promise

-and when he finally has to move away at first he might cry and have several panic attacks

-he’ll lash out at some people that get to close to him during that time, it’s just too much

-eventually, he might hide out with you, or even try to force you to run away with him

-he doesn’t want to be alone again, please don’t leave him

-he’ll do anything to stay with you, because he loves you

[yandere Kel x reader]

-he’s absolutely love-struck, pining over you at every moment

-he probably tried to model his relationship after Hero and Mari’s

-so when Mari dies, Kel will probably will go from pretty lovesick to full on intense yandere

-you’re pretty much the only thing that floats around in his head all day

-it’s always about what you did that day or what he wants to do with you, where you guys should hang out

-at that point, it annoys him when he starts thinking about something else

-Kel likes to think of you guys as basically married

-he isn’t completely delusional though, he understands what your guys’ relationship is

-his jealousy might spike and his patience for others will thin when you actually start dating though

-he’s never really thought about romantic feelings, so when he does, it makes him nervous that other people have those thoughts about you

-sometimes, if they really push it, he’ll even yell at his friends and family

-it’s not a big deal to him, Kel is just being a good boyfriend and making sure you’re safe

-he’ll still apologize to everyone, it just might take him awhile

-even when he does apologize, he’ll still see himself in the right

-it’s also fun to imagine Kel snapping at Aubrey’s gang if they pick a fight with you

-he love planning your future together, no matter how close or far it is

-he’s always really giddy to spend time with you

-Kel will usually wake up really early just to get ready for you, even if you’re just hanging at his house or something

-he’s mega clingy, he loves hugging you, holding your hand, he’ll even grab onto your arm and walk around like that for the rest of the day

-he’s completely ready to protect you though, trying his best to be as chivalrous as his brother

-it’s super cool if you try to protect him too, he’ll probably fall in love with you all over again

-i could see him as one of those guys that has a shrine dedicated to you

-he misses you a lot whenever you’re not by his side so he just wants a piece of you with him at all times

-but he won’t steal anything from you, it’s all things you’ve made for him or some of your things you’ve generously let him keep

-(also, small headcanon but if you handmake him a gift or write him a letter/poem he’ll melt into a pile of yandere goo)

-another thing he’d probably do is give you some of his personal items because the thought of you missing him as much as he misses you hurts him so much its almost physically painful

-besides, what’s his is also yours! it’s not like he’ll never see it again, he’s at your house all the time

-he can’t help but prefer you’re house! it’s just so... you!

-he’ll get embarrassed about his feelings for you, but no matter how strong they get he’ll never see anything wrong with them

-he just sees his feelings as completely average, even when the people close to him start pointing out his obsessive behavior

-he cares about his friends and family, of course he does!

-but for you, he’d do absolutely anything for you

[yandere Basil x reader]

-while Basil likes plants, he also reminds me of one

-when a plant needs light, it’ll leans towards the sun

-and well, you’re Basil’s sun of course! he can’t help but stick around you, he needs you to live

-unlike the others, you’ll probably be protecting him more

-not that he wants to put you in danger, but he can’t really protect you, let alone himself

-and Basil is not above picking fights if it means you’ll pay attention to him

-he’ll probably start being a little more dramatic with everything too

-he’ll cry so you take care of him and keep him inside

-Basil will then bring up the incident if you ever try to drag him outside

-he gets way more excited then he should when you break down and stay

-since he likes to take pictures, it’s pretty obvious he takes a lot of you

-he probably personalized a photo album personalized to match you

-The album is your favorite color, covered in stickers of your favorite things, and of course it’s filled to the brim with pictures of just you

-he also has plants that remind him of you

-Basil probably talks to the plants like they’re actually you, too

-and if you ever make a flower crown with the same type of flower that reminds him of you, his brain might stop working

-he’s just so glad you like those flowers, so much that you want to wear a flower crown with them

-and then if you wear flower crowns together, he won’t stop blushing until you take it off

-he’s happy to have something matching with you, he finally feels like he’s just a normal guy with a normal crush

-of course, right after he thinks that he takes, like, 20 photos of you for his album

-Basil is probably the most insecure out of the three

-he’s completely terrified from the thought of you suddenly distancing yourself

-it’s a little ironic considering he’d probably avoid all his other friends in favor of your company instead

-and honestly, he’d probably try to distance himself from you too

-but you’re just so special that if you breaking through Basil’s barriers is easier done than said, seriously

-he had a nice safe space starting and now that you’ve come and imposed on that, you’re a permanent part of that

-hell, you might even become the safe space!

-he now relies on every single one of your affections, all of you caring looks and smiles

-just stay by his side forever, let him be your number one priority

-he just can’t let anyone else have you, please just stay inside with him

-besides, it might be for the best

-the world is an absolutely terrifying place

-but Basil isn't scary, Basil is just your best friend!

-and you both can hide from the outside together

-always and forever <3

[dinosaurtsukki]

solitude | fyodor dostoevsky x gn!reader

part 3 of broken, continuation of savior

summary: for the first time in a long time, you're free of fyodor with him in prison. however, you find yourself wondering if this is what you truly want

word count: 1.1k words

contains: stockholm syndrome-ish (depending how you look at it), slight manipulation

anon: Hi ! First, I hope that you’re okay, I wanted to tell you that your work is soooo great, I really support you. Then I wanted to ask you if you could write a part 3 of « broken ». I really loved « broken » and « savior », you are very talented.

a/n: ahh i'm so flattered but thank you !! broken was actually my first fyodor fic so i'm surprised people like it and asked for a sequel. i was kind of on the fence with how to end this series because y/n and fyodor's dynamic is a bit complicated but i hope it came across here!

you're loathe to admit it, but every time you heard a doorbell ring or a knocking on the door, you hope that it's fyodor finally returning home.

it had been more than two weeks since fyodor had enacted his master plan using cannibalism to get the port mafia and armed detective agency to turn against each other. you weren't completely privy to all the details of fyodor's plan or the bigger organization he was working for, but he did let you know that being sent to jail was a part of it.

"you're free to use this space, especially since the special division and armed detective agency are cracking down on the rats of the house of the dead," fyodor told you one night.

"is that so?" you raised an eyebrow at him. "i see you're playing favorites then."

"you've only noticed my favoritism now?" fyodor chuckled. you found it almost funny in hindsight how your relationship had evolved from him manipulating you to playful banter between the two of you.

"you won't be seeing me for a long time," he hummed, absentmindedly twirling a piece of your hair with his index finger. it had become a habit of his that you didn't find entirely unwelcome. "should i leave you a little souvenir so you don't miss me?"

"you're already leaving me your place," you scoffed, waving a hand at him. "that's enough. i have to lay low for the next couple of weeks too."

"that would be advisable," fyodor nodded, letting go of your hair and sitting a little farther from you on the sofa. you hated that you almost wanted to move a little closer. "i've made sure to take care of my tracks. they shouldn't inspect this place."

"alright," you said, paused, before adding "thank you."

the next morning, he was gone before you even woke up. aside from the emptiness of the apartment, you were left with an ambiguously melancholic feeling.

now, he was gone and you had more than enough room to breathe. if you wanted to, you could even finally run away after making sure the coast was clear. but you had already established a while ago that there was more benefit to you staying with fyodor.

maybe the decision you were grappling with was whether or not you actually missed fyodor.

'impossible,' you thought, physically shaking your head as if trying to correct yourself. and despite what you told yourself, there could only be one explanation as to why you frequented fyodor's study so much and took care to wipe his cello case clean every night.

in fact, you began staying in the study more often each day. the desk was as neat as fyodor had left it with his laptop and several files and books stacked neatly on the table. one book in particular, caught your eye.

"the complete collection of t.s. eliot poems," you read aloud. suddenly, you remembered one of the first time you and fyodor had talked in the library, back when you were just a college student and he was just a handsome stranger.

of course, you could tell that the placement of this book could only be deliberate. "of course you'd leave something for me," you spoke out loud, as if he could hear. carefully, you opened the book and found a space neatly cut into the middle of the pages and a flash drive embedded inside.

...

"well, if this isn't quite ironic."

fyodor doesn't look surprised at all to see you standing in front of his jail cell. in fact, it looks as if he had been patiently waiting for you all this time. and that's because he has.

"you couldn't have left your escape plans in a more obvious place?" you sighed at him.

"but that was obvious," fyodor blinked innocently at you. "i knew you would find it at the right time."

did he know you'd be spending most of your time in his study? it was embarrassing to be known that well but you read intently through the plans he had encoded in the flash drive. you couldn't believe what fyodor was asking of you this time because surely he overestimated your abilities.

"couldn't you have asked someone else, someone more capable, to do this for you?" you asked him.

"what for? i have complete confidence in you," fyodor smiled. he was dressed in the white clothes all the other prisoners wore. you could tell that he had lost quite a bit of weight due to his stay and both of his hands were cuffed. and yet, he looked absolutely delighted at seeing you.

and that gave you a deep sense of satisfaction.

you pressed a hand to the bulletproof glass of his jail cell. "remember that night? when you broke me out of jail?"

"of course i do," fyodor hummed, leaning back and closing his eyes as he savored the memory. "that was sloppy work on your part. anyone could tell that you had an ulterior motive to get yourself caught."

"yeah, yeah. i'm aware," you rolled your eyes.

"ah, but look at you now," fyodor cocked his head. 'you've changed,' was on the tip of his tongue and you could only agree. even if fyodor wrote up the plans for his escape, you were still the one who snuck into the facility and incapacitated more than a few security guards to break him out.

who would have thought this is where you'd end up?

you keyed in the passcode on the door before stepping inside the jail cell. fyodor held his cuffed wrists out to you and you sighed and crouched down in front of him.

"you couldn't have at least picked the lock on your cuffs?"

"i'd rather you do it for me," fyodor smiled at you.

you didn't even need to be told twice. he was the one who had taught you this skill after all and your fingers worked quickly at the lock. of course, you were aware of fyodor intently staring at you and the way his fingers brushed at the inside of your wrist. finally, the lock clicked open and his metal cuffs fell away.

"finally. they tightened those a bit too much," fyodor sighed, rubbing the red marks on his wrists.

"you must have said something to offend them, like always," you emphasized.

"how was i to know they were going to be offended?" he scoffed as the two of you practically strolled out of the jail cell and into the hallway. "i assume you've been enjoying your time alone at the apartment."

"the silence was definitely a plus. although admittedly..." you trailed off and caught fyodor's glance. "i do miss the sound of your playing."

"is that so?" he chuckled amusedly and flexed his wrists. "i'm out of practice but, i think i can arrange something for you when we get home."

you nodded with a bemused smile on your face. "when we get home."

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[greekmythcomix]

Another update (27th August)

Hello to everybody following along!

The Choose-Your-Own-Path Odyssey is up to 530-ish pages. Of those, about 100 are the actual Odyssey, told chronologically and from the point at which Odysseus leaves Troy (based on Nestor and Menelaus’ narratives from books 2 and 3 of the Odyssey), up to Odysseus arriving back in Ithaca. The rest is…

alternatives:

alternatives to the choices Odysseus makes in the story that he actually talks about, and what happens if you do actually take them

alternatives to the story that happens in the Odyssey, where you can instead die, or live, in a number of unexpected ways

alternatives depending on what kind of Odysseus you see yourself as - the version where you desperately want to get home to your family and have the interests of your men at heart, or the version of Odysseus that is addicted to the winning of glory and an eternal name, or the version where, as in the original poem, Odysseus is a bit of both.

I have one last day-long writing session this week, then *sigh* school term begins again. I don’t know when I’m get to work on it in longer chunks again after that. But, in my final summer session I intend to plan out all the choices you can make in books 15-19 (fingers crossed) so that I can write them in when I have a chance rather than needing a whole day.

The problem I have is that so much actually happens in the second half of the Odyssey, just in a much smaller sphere of action to the first half, and I am an absolute fiend for accuracy and detail. I want to include *everything*, and still make the story interactive. We’ll see how that goes.

I’ll be writing a more detailed update for the 300+ email subscribers this week, so if you’d like to know more please sign up here: https://ljenkinsonbrown.wordpress.com/you-are-odysseus-signup/

Thanks so much for your continued interest and reblogs!

You Are Odysseus

So

I’m a teacher of Classical Civilisation that has taught the Odyssey for over a decade and studied pretty much every myth and story with Odysseus in it.. I think

and I’m writing an Interactive Fiction (choose your own path) version of the Odyssey, inspired by the Homeric phrase “he turned his great heart this way and that”, where you are Odysseus, allowing you to follow his decisions or make your own

and it already has 500 sections to it - written to emulate modern translations of the Odyssey, including the literary features of simile, formula, epithet, and the rest - and 21 different ways to die, and quite a lot of period and theme-appropriate alternatives

(and if I get time, the option to be Telemachus or Penelope, although that might have to wait because it’s already a monster)

and I’ve tested what I’ve made so far on my pupils, other Classics teachers, and some of the leading (and best-read) Greek Mythology podcasters and YouTubers, all of whom have universally loved it (yay!)

(EDIT: Oops and I presented on it at the Classical Association conference last year)

I’m trying to finish it this summer, but need a bit of encouragement to do so

EDIT: and I forgot to say that ideally I’m planning on it being a beautiful BOOK with an old-fashioned cover and lots of ribbons to mark your place ❤️ (ex-bookseller ofc)

so, please let me know if you’d like to know more!

(EDIT: or sign up here go get notified directly when it’s ready: https://ljenkinsonbrown.wordpress.com/you-are-odysseus-signup/ )

[kentochronicles]

***SPOILERS FOR WANDAVISION EPISODE 6***

So I’m still processing everything but holy shite that ep was wild...

FIRST THINGS FIRST - WANDA, VISION, BILLY AND PIETRO ALL IN COMIC ACCURATE-ISH COSTUMES AND TOMMY IN A MINI QUICKSILVER COSTUME

PIETRO CALLING BILLY AND TOMMY DEMON SPAWN - GOD DAMMIT, IT’S MEPHISTO ISN’T IT? HOUSE OF M HERE WE COME

HERB ASKING WANDA IF SHE WANTED SOMETHING CHANGED

AGNES ASKING VISION ABOUT THE AVENGERS AND STUFF AND AT FIRST SHE SEEMED GENUINELY FREAKED OUT BUT THEN STARTED LAUGHING MANIACALLY AND I STILL DON’T TRUST HER AND AGNES BEING DRESSED AS A WITCH? AGATHA HARKNESS WAS A WITCH - COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT!

DARCY LOOKING OVER MONICA’S MED SCANS AND TELLING HER HOW THE HEX AFFECTS HER EACH TIME SHE GOES IN - IS SHE DEVELOPING HER POWERS?

PIETRO’S CORPSE - SCARED ME JUST AS MUCH AS VISION’S

MOVIES SHOWING IN THE THEATRE IN THE BACKGROUND - THE INCREDIBLES: A MOVIE BASED AROUND A SUPERHERO FAMILY AND THE PARENT TRAP: A MOVIE ABOUT TWINS WHO MEET AT CAMP AND TRY AND SET THEIR PARENTS UP

DON’T GO PAST ELLIS AVENUE - NOW I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS A CONNECTION OR JUST A COINCIDENCE BUT ELLIS IS THE LAST NAME OF THE PRESIDENT DURING IRON MAN 3

TOMMY HAVING HIS SPEED POWERS AND BILLY HAVING HIS REALITY WARPING/TELEKINETIC POWERS - WELCOME SPEED AND WICCAN

A CALL BACK TO INFINITY WAR WHEN VISION EXITED THE HEX? SLIGHTLY DUSTING AND HE PROBABLY WON’T SURVIVE BEING OUTSIDE OF THE HEX - HE’LL JUST DIE AGAIN 🥲

I STILL DON’T TRUST HAYWARD - HE’S VERY SUS

DARCY BEING TAKEN INTO THE HEX WITH THE OTHER S.W.O.R.D AGENTS - HOPEFULLY WE CAN SEE THE OUTFITS THAT KAT DENNING’S WAS EXCITED ABOUT

I SWEAR THEY BETTER NOT STRAIGHTWASH BILLY AND TOMMY OR I WILL RIOT 😤

***FURTHER UPDATES***

So sit-com wise, it seems they were referencing Malcolm in the Middle as the twins broke the fourth wall and talked to the audience, like Malcolm did

However, the theme song has told the viewer to stop questioning the reality of Westview - which could be a little reference to Mystery Science Theatre 3000? - When Pietro first shows up in the title sequence, along with his name title card, the lyrics say “Though there may be no way of knowing who’s come to play” - Istg, I do not trust Pietro

Vision says to Wanda that he had to wear his Halloween costume because there were no other clothes in his closet, Wanda is trying to move the plot along and forcing Vision to play along

Evan Peters’ ‘Mom’ tattoo is shown, which is a tattoo he actually has in real life ! But could this stand for ‘Multiverse of Madness’ or some other red herring?

Pietro mentions to Wanda that if he had found ‘Shangri-La’ he wouldn’t want to leave either - Shangri-La is a real place on Earth-616 that was founded by a version of Vision

Tommy refers to Pietro’s speed as ‘kickass’ and then Wanda repeats that, saying ‘kickass’ again - Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Evan Peters (both versions of QuickSilver) were in Kick-Ass together

The ad for this episode was freaky af - the character on the beach who starved and decomposed could be a little nod to Indiana Jones, where a Nazi’s face melts in - and it could also be reference to Wanda being all alone and struggling to process her grief. The shark in the ad could also be Nightmare or Mephisto or just someone more powerful than Wanda offering her a new beginning with Vision or trapped her in some way - and is feeding off her magic? The flavour of the yoghurt is strawberry flavoured and strawberry’s are red on the outside and pink-ish on the inside - much like Wanda’s og costume and her magic being red 👀

Pietro and Wanda talk about their Sokovian accents at a point in the episode and how neither have them anymore. Wanda’s, as we know, has disappeared over the course of the MCU movies and Pietro’s just doesn’t exist - another nice little nod to Peter Maximoff from the fox X-Men films? Also, Pietro states that “I’m just trying to do my part, okay? Come to town unexpectedly, create tension with the brother-in-law, stir up trouble with the Rugrats (a 90’s cartoon 👀) and ultimately give you grief.” - in reference to the grief part, could Pietro be killed off again? Stir up trouble with the rugrats, being possible shards of the demon Mephisto’s soul, could this be Mephisto trying to influence them on a deeper level? It’s also many many common sitcom clichès

Pietro talks about how “I got shot like a chump on the street for no reason at all” - nice little nod to how Pietro was killed off unnecessarily and how we as a fandom still talk about how regular bullets shouldn’t have killed him

Herb is dressed as Frankenstein’s monster - Dr. Frankenstein created his monster and soon lost control over him, and he was created using electricity or lightning - much like Vision was created and brought to life by Thor using Mjolnïr to bring lightning down to his incubator thingy majig. Could this also be a reference to either Wanda slowly losing control over Westview or someone else controlling Wanda/controlling the citizens of Westview - we saw in episode 3 that Agnes told Herb to be quiet as it seemed he was about to spill the beans 👀

Vision goes towards Ellis avenue and is at a ‘crossroads’ of sorts - in folklore, crossroads are often used to speak to or summon the devil and are also used when an important character is making a decision that could change everything. He spots some citizens repeating certain actions and/or just standing completely still, could these be npc’s (non playable characters)? And now that the barrier of the Hex has spread, will those citizens now start to move? 👀 Also I know that all stop signs look like it, but the stop sign is also a red hexagon 🛑

Darcy scrolls through Hayward’s computer files and goes past a file called “Project C4-113” - it could reference Avengers Issue #113 in which Wanda and Vision both appear on the cover and she says she’s going to make the world pay for Vision’s death. There’s also another file called “Project M5-247” which could be a nod to Avengers Issue #247, which shows the origin of the Eternals and in the same vein, Scarlet Witch and Vision trying to help Captain Marvel. And when Darcy emails Hayward’s cataract plans, you can see the names of “James Alexander and James Gadd” - James Alexander is a visual effects producer on Wandavision and James Gadd works on post production at Marvel

Also: Agnes pulls as Mrs Hart and repeats the same phrase over and over again

After Wanda blasts Pietro, you can see on a fake grave stone the name of “Janell Sammelman”, Janell is a first assistant director on Wandavision

When Wanda moves Westview to save Vision, she turns S.W.O.R.D and it’s agents into clowns + a circus - I just love that the agents turned into clowns 😂 but there is a nice little plot line in the comics where Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver and Hawkeye join the circus - and this COULD be stretch, but earlier in the episode there is the number #22 which could be Avengers Issue #22, which is the Issue that they join the circus

As soon as Vision was brought back into Westview, he was healed - which means if he was to exit again, he probably wouldn’t survive 😭

The episode title is ‘All-New Halloween Spooktackular!” - which “All-New” is a designation that is often used on covers for comic books. And the first issue of the second The Vision and the Scarlet Witch series takes place on Halloween night - but the events in this comics didn’t influence this episode’s plot

Pietro points out that he has the “XY chromosome” - X for X-Men? Plus there’s the X gene 😂

He mentions “Uncle Peter to the rescue” - Peter is the name of Quicksilver from the Fox X-Men Franchise

Pietro and Tommy quote the movie Top Gun (1986) by saying “I fell the need, the need for speed”

Wanda almost seems hesitant to trust this version of Pietro (rightfully so, in my opinion) and is wary of him being around Tommy and Billy

Pietro says some very Mephisto/Nightmare-like things this episode - “Unleash hell, demon spawn!”, “The kids need a father figure”, “Damnit, if Westview isn’t charming as Hell...” - And if Pietro isn’t Mephisto/Nightmare, it HAS to be Agnes or her other half Ralph and Pietro is probably Ralph tbh...or could Pietro just be a scapegoat and Hayward is Ralph? 👀

The theatre in town, which is playing the Incredibles and The Parent Trap, is called the Coronet. There’s a classic poem called “The Coronet” written by Andrew MARVELL (Marvell, is also the true name of the first incarnation of Captain Marvel in the comics) and is about a guy who knows that the sins of mankind led to the death of Christ. He attempts to create a new crown for Christ’s head in an attempt to atone, but finds that there is sin in the crown as well, as the devil is within the crown and therefore he may achieve glory and success with his new creation 👀

Hayward’s confidential project “Cataract” included experimenting on Vision’s body, as was revealed by Darcy (my wife 💙 and Monica is also my wife �� and so is Wanda 💛, I just love women, you know? 😂). A cataract is a cloudy area in the lens of the eye that leads to a decrease in vision - is Hayward trying to weaponise Vision? Or maybe even trying to bring Ultron back? Or do what Tony wanted to do in the first place, and make a suit of armour that’s around the world? Either way, it’s for nefarious purposes

Who is Monica’s guy? Jimmy and Monica are off to meet him - could it be Reed Richards (Mr Fantastic)? Or could it be Victor Von Doom (Dr Doom)? Could it be Hank McCoy (Beast)? Or even Adam Brashear (Blue Marvel)? Or if it is a woman, could it be the Skrull daughter of Talos that Monica befriended at the end of Captain Marvel? Could it be Abigail Brand (A major character in recent S.W.O.R.D comics and an Alpha Flight Member)? Or even Toni Ho (Iron Patriot, and could she be introduced to help lay the ground work for my other queen, Riri Williams/Iron Heart?)? Or could it even be Sue Storm (Invisible Woman)?

In the background of the episode we see a number of children and adults dressed up as many different characters, which includes: Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat, Jason Voorhees, with a sweater striped like Freddy Krueger’s and even a kid that looks dressed in an off-brand Charizard costume 😂 Pokèmon has always been popular, but saw an increase during the 90’s

Pietro and the kids are drinking “Kane Cola” which could be a reference to the 90’s drinks “Jolt Cola” or even “Surge” - it could also, with all the X-Men Easter eggs, be a reference to Garrison Kane, who was a member of Cable’s mercenary team “Six Pack” and is sometimes also known as ‘Weapon X’

The kid that Wanda mentions having a “skin thing” in the orphanage - could that be a reference to her Brotherhood of Evil Mutants co-worker Toad? Or maybe even Mystique? Maybe Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler)?

One of the houses has a sign up that says ‘Macabre Mansion’ - another possible reference to House of M?

During a flashback, it’s shown that the twins are playing Dance Dance Revolution, which came out in 1999. Also this might be a stretch, but the boys have a dog plushie in their room the right - which is coloured red and black - could this be a reference to Dogpool? 😂

I love this show 🤣💙

[sibsteria]

valentines [spn cast and characters]

summary: how much do they care for it? what do they do?

warning: fluff, smut-ish, my frazzled single brain

Cast:

Misha Collins:

• he won't admit that he kinda loves it

• he'd definitely cooks

• but always gets distracted

• by you

• if you have kids, they are away that night

• the traditional dinner doesn't last long before you're both attached by the lips

• whatever alcohol is being consumed has a cute romantic twist

• you're up all night

• so many hugs

---

Richard Speight Jr:

• he kind of cares for it

• like, a sweet gesture is as far as it goes

• a gift and a movie

• but also

• he so buys heart printed boxers to make you laugh

• and you do, you laugh so hard

• like, everything is so serious and going smoothly

• and his pants are off and just-

• absolute hilarity

---

Sebastian Roche:

• it's more of a 'if you do, he does' situation

• you'd bake together

• even though he's awful at it

• everything comes out half decent and edible

• he just wants a chill day

• hardly any movement and you don't leave the house

• I repeat

• don't

---

Rob Benedict:

• fucking cringy bitch, he likes it enough to make you blush all day

• writes a small song about you both

• obviously on an acoustic

• he recreates your first date because he's that guy

• meaningful gifts rather than expensive ones

• the affection king

---

Mark Pellegrino:

• he doesn't care for it but will do anything to make you smile

• rolls his eyes at the cringy sexual jokes you aim at him

• but then he makes up for it by bringing them to life at the end of the evening

• y'all just kind of act like it's a normal day

• with more affection

• mostly from Frankie

---

Alexander Calvert:

• thinks he has to impress you, so he tries

• definitely a flowers guy

• the kind to steal kisses at any given moment

• a romantic at heart, but he hides it well

• that evening though-

• the hottest sex you've had in your life

• he wears the necklace

• it's a cold opposite to the heat of the moment

---

Felicia Day:

• when I say valentines, you say romance

• she's the queen of making you feel loved

• she can't pull herself off  away from you

• wine and her romantic spotify playlist

• you wear her t-shirt and nothing else, all day

• the sex? absolutely spectacular

---

Mark Sheppard:

• he cares for it more than he'd like to

• but not enough to give you the satisfaction of a romantic dinner

• did someone say takeout? mark sheppard did

• you don't even care, just not being alone on valentine's is enough (yes I'm looking at you)

• bed ridden and pyjamas

• sweet hugs that last forever

---

Ruth Connell:

• you try your hardest to refuse all the romance

• in no way is she going to let that happen

• chocolates, flowers, candles, dinner, music

• she doesn't waste time

• big softy

---

Characters:

Castiel:

• has no clue why there's heart shaped confections and objects everywhere

• asks Sam and Dean what's going on

• if you two aren't dating he will absolutely ask you to be his Valentine in a traditional way

• valentine's alcohol bottle? check

• sweet card? check

• innuendoes that make you choke on your spit? bingo

• if you are dating already he'll give you a bouquet of chocolate roses

• you'll get him a custom tie with everything he loves on

• pb&j, bees, dean

• he has no idea what is going on, but wants in

---

Gabriel:

• to be frank, he doesn't give a shit, but loves you so-

• he will wear the moustache with or without your protests

• try every line in the book to bed you

• chocolate ! covered ! everything !

• -and that's just for him

• turns your room into a valentine's dungeon, hearts, banners, flowers (so many), everything is pink and red and- ugh

• you hate it but kind of love it

• and you love him for doing this without asking

• he will talk you into some food play with like, chocolate and whipped cream and shit

• you get it in your bellybutton and slap his head away before he can get it, wiping it off yourself

---

Chuck:

• wants nothing to do with the 'holiday'

• you reassure him it's fine and that you don't care

• but your thoughts say different

• so he caves and writes you a poem

• it's the most beautiful thing you have ever heard

• man has a way with words

• and you have your way with him

• the one ability he can't give himself is the love he feels for you

• he hardly says it, but he doesn't have to

• because you know

• from the way he looks at you, treats you, talks to you

• it's so obvious

---

Jack Kline:

• much like Cas, a discussion between him and the Winchester's gives him the knowledge he needs

• omg sweet baby is obsessed with Valentine's day

• he keeps handing you things, one after another throughout the day

• not everything is store bought

• 'I made this for you!' you fucking melt 'I saw it online and- I thought of you, I wanted to make it so I could make you happy'

• but you don't need things to make you happy

• he makes you happy

• and when he hears your thoughts say that he just-

• he almost cries, he hugs you tighter than anyone ever could

• 'you make me the happiest'

• he's just a big bundle of cuteness

---

Lucifer:

• just, no

• neither of you care

• you torment all the couples on dates, making things go wrong

• making them spill things on themselves

• the waiters 'slip' with their food

• a little more sinister ones like- making it look like their s/o is cheating

• and if you don't like that, he will stop

• deep down, it kind of is a date

• two people who love each other to the ends of earth, doing something that makes them happy

• he takes a break from rough fucking to make you feel adored

• even though you always feel adored

• because Lucifer himself, is taking up his time with you

---

Balthazar:

• he asks you if you want to do anything and you say no

• he's so confused and sceptical

• he's lowkey kind of hurt that you don't want to spend romantic time with him, lowkey

• oh, if only he knew your plan

• you ask him if he wants to watch a movie

• he hops at the opportunity to do something with you and goes all out

• expensive wine, snacks, flowers, so many snacks

• he lets you pick

• he looks at you like your his world

• and then Titanic starts

• his soft grin drops and he rolls his eyes

• 'really?' 'really.'

• he doesn't really care though, he has you

---

Crowley:

• tells everyone to fuck off so he can have time with you, completely alone

• he just wants to be loved, and so you do that exactly

• you muster up all your romantic stops, and bam-

• you pester your angel friend to help set up décor and snap up some things

• he has no idea until he actually sees it for himself

• he wants to cry, but uses everything in himself not to

• no one has ever done anything like this for him

• he know your special, and he knows he can't let you go

• that night, if you don't already have it, he offers you immortality

• to be with him forever

• you'd be the queen of hell for eternity

• you instantly say yes with no hesitation

• he is taken back by your acceptance

• but in a heart melting way

---

Charlie Bradbury:

• she loves it when she has you to spend it with

• you send each other valentines card memes throughout the day

• fancy takeout with candles and music

• bathing together because intimacy

• you but new lingerie

• so does she

• 'love that colour on you' you make her blush so much

• she likes to think she hold the reigns in the relationship

• she is so wrong

---

Rowena MacLeod:

• like, no

• she'll kiss you like her life depends on it but

• not much goes on

• you might treat each other to a stamina spell so you can really stay up all night

[ppangjae]

of first snows and soulmates | collab masterlist

Would you rewrite the future if you were given the opportunity to?

💌  dear soulmate: of first snows and soulmates, a special collaboration with four spin-offs of the fic seven letters. are you ready to rewrite the future? if so, proceed with caution!

RELEASE DATE: January/February 2021

💌 i’ll send all my loving to you | jh.s ​| OPEN HERE

written by @sehunniepotwrites​ 

SYNOPSIS: When your collection of unsent love letters and heart-wrenching poems becomes a best-seller, you are left with the pressure of releasing another collection that is better than the last. In search of inspiration, you return home for the holidays only to run into Johnny Suh-- the very man who broke your heart, and discover a variety of letters convincing you to change your fate.

So, riddle me this: if you had a chance to change your fate, would you take it?

WORD COUNT: 24,832

GENRE: holidays!au, college!au, soulmate!au, friends-with-benefits!au,  friends-to-lovers!au, romance, angst, fluff, humor, slow burn

PAIRING: photographer!johnny suh x (female) poet!reader

WARNINGS: cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of sex and divorce 

PLAYLIST. lover by taylor swift • for life - english version by exo • unless it’s with you by christina aguilera • i don’t wanna see you cryin’ anymore by adam melchor • love letters by juris • sick of losing soulmates by dodie clark • best friend by jason chen • popo (how deep is our love?) by yerin baek • sun&moon by nct 127 • i’ll like you so much you’ll know it by wan junqi • if by juris • anyone else by joshua bassett • hate everything by golden

💌 la douleur exquise | t.l | OPEN HERE

written by @jeongvision​ 

SYNOPSIS: Taeyong was met with an unfortunate accident before his life could start out. There’s so much that the world has to offer and he’s not ready to die yet. And so fate decides to give him a second chance at life under one condition: save someone’s life within 14 days, or else he goes to the Great Beyond. And perhaps these letters could clue in on who his mission is. But what happens when he encounters you, his ex, in the midst of his task? Would he spend his last days with you to salvage his regrets, or would he leave you behind forever just to live again? Tell me darling, is all this living worth dying for?

♡ la douleur exquise is a french phrase that literally translates to exquisite pain; refers to the pain you feel for wanting someone you can’t have.

WORD COUNT: more than 1k, that’s for sure LMFAO 

GENRE: fluff, angst, slice of life, soulmate! au, exes to lovers! au, afterlife! au (?), soul! au (ish)

PAIRING: lee taeyong x fem!reader

WARNINGS: cursing, drinking, character death(s) (no one dies, sort of.), implications of depression, implications of attempted suicide (to be updated along the way)

PLAYLIST. do you feel like you have no one to turn to? by yayyoung • right here by keshi • lovelovelove by yerin baek • bandaids by keshi • before our spring by jonghyun • be the light by one ok rock • skeletons by keshi • you were beautiful by day6 • let us go by crush • give you my heart by iu

💌 a promise of infinity | d.s | OPEN HERE

written by @smoll-tangerine​ 

SYNOPSIS: Denying your feelings has always been a talent of yours. It is a mindset that helped you stay clear of any unwanted trouble. Ultimately, you’re the only one who knows what is best for yourself. But when you stumble upon a diary from your future self that goes against all sense of logic and your frame of mind, you have to wonder whether you should listen to those messages in order to secure your happily ever after, or ignore them to keep the status quo. But in the end, aren’t you the one who you should know yourself best?

WORD COUNT: Probably like 10k or 20k, there is no in-between 

GENRE: soulmate!au, slice of life, romance, slight angst??, fluff

PAIRING: winwin x (female) reader

TRIGGER WARNINGS: to be updated along the way

PLAYLIST. dream launch by wayv • mirrors by justin timberlake • i’m with you by avril lavigne • pandora’s box by nct 127 • love again by baekhyun • love by f(x) • fine by taeyeon • time and fallen leaves by akmu • roman holiday by halsey • love me the same by jessica • need you now by lady antebellum

💌 LA VIE EN ROSE | m.l | OPEN HERE

written by @ppangjae​ 

SYNOPSIS: How do you ruin your ex-girlfriend’s (whom you’re still irrevocably in love with) wedding that you helped her plan for almost a year? Yeah… Mark’s not too sure either. But funny enough, these letters from said ‘future self’ know exactly how. 

WORD COUNT: 15k+ 

GENRE: spin-off of seven letters! | soulmate!au | ex!au | wedding planner!au | fluff | angst

PAIRING: wedding planner!mark x reader (female)

WARNINGS: lots of swearing!

PLAYLIST. ivy by frank ocean • dear april by frank ocean • never not by lauv • pluto projector by rex orange county • get to you again by mac ayres • frozen by sabrina claudio • focus by h.e.r • no song without you by honne • edition by rex orange county

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

So, as I said in a previous post, I spent the whole night yesterday making picrews, and I thought: “Why not make picrews of the fictional family that I love more than everything in this world?”

Anyway, here they are! This is a close representation of how I picture the Hyde family whenever I think about the TSG universe (I am going to come up with a different name for this universe one day I promise). I am also going to give you guys some glimpses about their quirks and their personalities, so, click on the thingy if you’re interested on reading that.

Unfortunaly, it was impossible to make Jackie and Gracie’s eyes the way I picture them (mismatched, lol. I know this is a controversial topic but every single time I see the show I notice how Jackie’s eyes are different colors and I add that to every single one of my fics. It’s one of her little flaws that only makes her more perfect). So just pretend that one of their eyes is blue-ish, and the other one is green-ish.

Oh, and as I post more and more picrews, you might notice that out of all the adults characters from the TSG universe, Jackie’s the only one who doesn’t have any wrinkles. Years of a very strict skincare routine payed off really well for her.

Hyde grew his beard back, mostly because I always picture him with a beard when he’s older. Oh, and sorry for the lack of sunglasses, he stopped wearing them everyday when Dylan was a baby (he kept taking them off his face and throwing them at the ground lol).

On the left, we see Layla, the eldest and the wisest from all the three kids. The age gap between her and her siblings is big, so they always run to her when they need advice about something. 

Layla’s a lot like Jackie, she cares about her looks, she’s a social butterfly, and she’s probably the most popular girl in school. She’s not shallow though, nor does she have the superiority complex Jackie had in the first few seasons of the show, Hyde and Jackie made sure to raise her well. 

Layla’s also a bookworm, and a big romantic at heart. One of her dreams is to publish an epic romance novel, and writing is probably one of her favorite things in the entire world. She has this little red notebook filled with heart stickers in the cover where she often writes poems -- and Jackie is the only person allowed to read said poems.

Her hair is naturally wavy (as showed in the picture), but she starts to straighten it when she’s older. She grew up in the 90s after all.

Then there’s Dylan, or as I like to call him, the Hyde’s little evil spawn.

Don’t get me wrong here, Dylan is literally so sweet, and he cares about his family more than anything in the world. He’s a sucker for his mom’s hugs and he wants to be like Hyde in the future, but he also has a lot of pent up energy, which tends to put him into some pretty funny situations.

Dylan has a partner in crime, his name’s Jordan and he’s Fez and Laurie’s son (I’ll post a picrew of him later too). I’ve based Dylan and Jordan’s friendship on the Weasley twins from Harry Potter, they are natural pranksters and they drive Laurie and Jackie insane. Red helps the duo out with their pranks sometimes, claiming it’s “payback” for all the years he had to tolerate his son and his dumbasses friends mooching off him and making his life “miserable”. Dylan and Red also have a cute bond, we’ll see more of that in the sequel.

As he grows older, Dylan gets tall. Like, Jackie’s a midget next to him, guys (that doesn’t stop her from coddling him though). No one knows where he’s got that height from, and he uses that to his advantage (by placing Jackie and Layla’s Pop music CDs on high places that they couldn’t possibly reach just to mess with them. Oh, and he also joins the basketball team lol).

He’s very protective of his family, like, really protective, and he doesn’t take shit from anyone. He has a special soft spot for Hannah (Eric and Donna’s younger daughter). Hannah is a year older than him, and she’s hearing impaired. One day a guy from school stole her hearing aid to mess with her, and he got the beating of a lifetime. Dylan was suspended and Jackie went to the school to yell at the principal and defend her son, because she’s that kind of mom.

Don’t get any wrong ideas about Dylan and Hannah though, they were raised like siblings.

Dylan’s very into cars (another thing in common he has with Red), and when Hyde finally gives him the Camino, he babies the fuck out of it.

And last but not least... Gracie. Or Erica, as Eric likes to remind everyone about it.

Gracie will only be three years old in the sequel, so we won’t see a lot of her personality, but as I said many times, I do plan on writing one-shots about the kids when they’re older once the sequel is done, so...

Hyde has a special nickname for her, he calls her his little “Goldilocks” because her hair is curly and it’s almost a golden color. She’s a very smart kid and she’s always drawing.

Seriously, Jackie and Hyde’s fridge is filled with Gracie’s drawings, it’s the sweetest thing. They never threw a single drawing of her away, they always keep them, and they incentivize her as much as possible when she’s growing up.

She grows up to be an artsy person, and she’s very talented. She’s not a social butterfly like Layla, nor is she a “badass” like Dylan, she’s an introvert, she likes to stay home with her parents (she loves her parents so much) and have movie marathons with them on the weekends instead of going out to party.

She hangs out a lot with Katie (Fez and Laurie’s youngest daughter), who’s her best friend and her complete opposite, they have a bunch of sleepovers where they watch a ton of horror movies together and stuff their faces with ice cream. Their friendship is really something else, and she’s the first person Gracie comes out to (yup, Gracie’s a lesbian).

Gracie and Eric are very close, and she gets him very into Harry Potter. It’s funny, because Eric insists that he’s a Gryffindor, and Gracie tells him he’s totally a Hufflepuff, which makes him mad and they end up bickering because of it. But overall, they love each other a lot, and Eric’s a father figure to her.

Her relationship with Jackie and Hyde is beautiful. She’s not afraid of asking them for cuddles when she’s feeling down, and they are literally her biggest supporters. When Layla moves out for good (insert very sad Jackie and Hyde noises), they turn her room into a mini art studio for Gracie, and she spends most of her days there, listening to music and painting whatever comes to her mind.

Wow, I got really excited and I ended up talking waaay too much, but well... I love this family so much, I couldn’t help myself.

If you have any questions about the TSG sequel or about the characters in general, please feel free to send them to me!

Posting picrews of the Forman family next!

[shadow-assassin-blix]

A Picture is a Poem Without Words

Chapter 9

A/N: Okay. Some slight drama. Canon typical violence. Slightly nsfw-ish in that there's some fingering.

(Noticed far too late that half of it didnt transfer over, fixed that)

Diego and Blix do some much needed bonding.

Everything tag: @mikeisthricedeceased

Pacho tag: @yungkvte

They laid there a few minutes more, simply enjoying one another’s presence, before with a small groan, Blix sat up.

She quietly stretched, turning her neck side to side, grunting at the small pops and cracks her neck made. Pacho straightened up next to her pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

“Gilberto said he found you in my office last night? Doing homework as he claims,” Pacho teased as he brushed her back behind her hair.

“Just… trying to understand your world. Gotta say… it’s far more complicated than I thought it was,” Blix lightly noted as she turned to look at him.

“It’s not all crazy parties and getting high. It’s a lot of work to be one of the best cartels in the world,” Pacho said with a smirk.

Blix hummed in response, pushing off the covers, as both of them got up. Blix quietly got dressed, throwing on some shorts and a tank top. She finished getting ready, as Pacho waited, looking at all the things she had unboxed the day before. He stared at the items curiously.

“Your mother had very strange tastes,” He muttered quietly as he picked up the mace.

“Indeed, she did,” Blix stated as she walked up to him, ready for the day.

Pacho turned to look at her, “Not planning on using any of these on me, are you?”

“Hmm. Don’t know. Depends on whether you’re a good boy or not. Don’t test my wrath,” She said with a teasing smile as she walked past him, toward the hallway.

Pacho shook his head with a smile, before following after her.

They made their way downstairs, joining the others for lunch.

She got about halfway through her meal before she remembered she had to make some phone calls. She got up and called Theo to see where he had gotten on the warehouse that they believed was König’s.  

“Hey, so there is a lot of activity going on in a warehouse that’s allegedly abandoned. We’ve been monitoring it from a safe distance, and we’ve seen a lot of armed guards patrolling. We’ve seen König wandering the property, but we have yet to see anything damning,” Theo reported, a small yawn escaping him as he finished.

“Good to know. Keep watch for now, we’ll catch him soon enough. Has there been any other robberies I should be made aware of?” She questioned as she paced around the living room.

“None so far. Not sure if that’s good or bad. But I’ll keep you posted,” Theo answered.

“Yeah. Hm. He’ll mess up soon enough and we will be there when it happens. Talk to you later,” Blix ended the call with a small sigh.

She ran her hand over chin, in contemplation. She had slowly wandered down a hallway away from everyone and was near a door that was slightly ajar. She looked inside and saw something that made her smile. She pushed the door further open and saw books lining several shelves and cases.

As she examined the books, she realized they were the books that her sisters sent her from their mother’s home. She ran her fingertip down the spines of several, quietly remembering each story. Several were antiques of the classics and others were miscellaneous. She walked further in and noticed there was an area full of throw pillows and soft cushions surrounding a window nook.

The window, she noted, looked out over the grounds, and it was slightly breathtaking.

She sat on the seat, gazing out.

“See you found your library. Pacho will be sad that you found this before he could show you,” Diego’s voice came from behind her.

“I’ll act surprised when he shows me. He set this all up just for me? Why?” She asked looking around from her seat.

“Isn’t it obvious by now? He cares for you. Loves you even. Just like he does me,” Diego responded as he joined her.

“Are you okay with that though? Sharing him? I know we never actually really sat down and talked this out,” She mentioned as she made room for him to join her.

“I’ll admit in the beginning, I wasn’t thrilled by you,” Diego began.

“’Wasn’t thrilled?’ You tormented me for days!” Blix exclaimed shoving him lightly.

“Okay. I was an ass. The point is, I see now, you are not just some fling of his. You make him happy in ways that I cannot. Just like I make him happy in ways you can’t. He wants both of us. We are not fighting for his attention. He wants us, we want him. That’s that. Plus, he’s allowing you to see the inner workings of the cartel; information that is usually pretty heavily guarded. If he trusts you with that, then I can trust you with him,” Diego explained, taking her hands into his.

Blix nodded once in response, with a small smile.

“So… is he going to be busy with the brothers today?” She inquired after a moment.

“Probably, why?”  Diego asked looking at her curiously.

“Well. One, I promised Phobos I would take him out for a ride today. Two, I just thought me, and you can hang out. Get to know one another. If you ‘re cool with it,” She proposed.

“How about tomorrow? I have somethings I need to do this afternoon, but tomorrow I am pretty much free. We could run around town if you’d like?” Diego countered.

“Sounds good to me. Now, gotta harass someone in to taking me to the ranch,” Blix muttered thinking of who to choose.

“Or… I’ll drop you off on my way out. Gotta head out anyway,” Diego offered.

“Ooh. Yes. Lemme go put on boots,” Blix said excitedly, getting up.

She rushed upstairs to get her socks and some boots. She hopped on one foot each, as she threw them on. She ran downstairs, meeting up with Diego; they hopped into his car, driving off.

In no time, he had dropped her off. She walked over to Phobos’ stall, grabbing a brush on her way to him. She pulled him out of his stall, taking him to a small post to tie him to. She began to give him a thorough brushing, quietly talking to him.

Once he was brushed, she saddled him up and began to trot around with him. She walked around with him, letting him get used to her. They spent a good 2 hours wandering the grounds before returning to the stables.

Navegante was waiting for her when she got back with Phobos. She got him settled back into his stall and stretched for a moment before joining Navegante. He took her back to Pacho’s home, dropping her off before disappearing himself.

She walked inside and was told by some guards that Pacho and the brothers had left; Pacho should be back by tonight though.

She decided to just continue her reading upstairs in his office. She spent a few hours doing that, when a guard informed her dinner was ready if she was. She got up and made her way downstairs, after securing the files she had pulled out. She took the plate of food, eating at the table, somewhat watching the soccer game that was playing on the television.

She had just finished eating, when there was a knock at the door.

“What the hell?” She whispered as she got up.

She grabbed a gun that was hidden in a drawer, walking toward the door. She opened it cautiously, gun tucked behind her back.

She stared at the man before her. She had never seen him before, but noticed he looked somewhat familiar.

“Hello? Can I help you?” She questioned him.

“So, you’re the woman my boy is in love with? Seems he’s finally becoming a man,” Came a deep, gravelly voice.

It was then she realized why he looked familiar. He looked a bit like an older Pacho, but with Alvaro’s curls.

“Mr. Herrera. What brings you here?” She asked him dully, immediately annoyed by his presence.

“Wanted to speak to him. Found you instead. You’re much prettier to look at then he is,” He announced pushing his way inside.

“Yes. Please come in,” She muttered annoyed.

She quietly grabbed her phone, discreetly calling Pacho, hoping he picked up. She set the phone down on the counter, watching her intruder look around the living room.

She took a breath of relief when she saw that the phone had connected.

“Mr. Herrera. I don’t know why you are here, but you need to go. Pacho is not here, nor is Alvaro. You are not welcomed. So, either get out, or I’ll make you leave,” She warned him loudly, trying to gain his attention.

“Please. You’re not going to do anything. So, what is it about you that you turned my son back to a normal man?” He asked with a snarl as he turned to her.

“Normal? Oh no. He is still very much gay. He just enjoys my company. Get. Out.” She replied coldly, as she pulled the gun out.

He chuckled, somewhat darkly, “Are you really going to shoot me? I don’t think you have it in you, wench.”

She narrowed her eyes in response, aiming the gun to a spot near his head. She took one shot, the bullet grazing his ear at it embedded itself in the wall behind him. He groaned loudly, touching his ear gingerly.

“Next one, will go between your eyes. Now get out. Leave me alone. Leave Pacho and Alvaro alone. Neither of them wants anything to do you with. You come near them again, and I will bury you so deep into the ground that the Earth’s core will incinerate your corpse,” She promised him, motioning with the gun for him to walk out the door.

“Such loyalty to a man who will only break your heart. Tell me, whatever did he promise you to receive such protectiveness?” He asked as he slowly moved to the door, his eyes fixated on the gun.

“Heh. He’s not the first man to ever break my heart, doubt he’ll be the last. Why does everyone think he bought me? Bought my loyalty? It’s truly starting to vex me. I’m a simple woman Mr. Herrera. Offering simple human decency is enough. Now get out of my home. I truly hate cleaning up blood,” She growled as she stepped forward.

She watched as he ran out, to his car, and made sure he drove off before closing and locking the door. She moved over to the phone, picking it up.

“Pacho. You there?” She asked her voice cracking slightly.

“Yes. I’m here. I’m almost home honey. Is he still there?” He inquired, his own voice shaking.

“No. He’s gone. Ya know… I expected your dad to be a piece of work, but I never thought that I would want to immediately strangle him once he started talking,” She tried to joke, but in all honesty, she was a bit freaked out.

She hears him snort before replying, “Yeah. He’s… something.”

“How… how far away are you?” She asked in a whisper.

“5 minutes. Tops. Salcedo has already… detained… my father who we passed by on our way in. He won’t be bothering you anymore,” Pacho firmly stated.

“I’ll see you in a few then?” She confirmed as she took a seat on the couch.

“Yes. I’ll see you in a moment,” Pacho tells her.

She slowly hung up, waiting on the couch for him. In a minute, the room was filled with guards and Pacho.

Pacho walked over to her, his eyes roaming over her, as he checked her.

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Pacho questioned as he looked her over.

“No. I’m okay. He just… unnerved me a bit,” She answered him.

Diego popped up next to them, whispering something in Pacho’s ear. Pacho simply nodded in response, his eyes never leaving hers.

The whole house was buzzing about with tension; several people were trying to figure out where the hell the guards were that was supposed to be there. Why was he able to come on the grounds?

Blix was tired of everyone fussing over her, 10 minutes had passed and everyone and their mom it felt, had come to ask her if she was okay. She stood up, and made her way upstairs, away from everyone and their concern.

She hid in her room, keeping the door locked. She went to bed, but it was a fitful sleep. When she finally woke up the next day, she felt exhausted as she sat up. She quietly got ready for the day, hoping a shower would wake her up, and wash away the funk she felt. She walked into her closet trying to decide what to wear, when she heard a rumble of thunder, followed by the sound of rain.

“Guess that answers that,” She mumbled to herself as she grabbed jeans, a shirt, and some boots.

She quietly got ready, unlocking her door, as soon as she was dressed. She strolled downstairs, smiling smally at the sight of Diego, who was leaning against the back of the couch, waiting.

“Hey. Ready to get out of here for a bit?” Diego asked her when he sees her.

She nodded, looking around. She spied Pacho in the kitchen, she slowly walked over to him. He was finishing up a phone call, when he spotted her. Once he hung up, he made his way to her.

“I’m sorry for just… leaving the room last night. Not used to that many people fussing over me. It was a bit overwhelming,” She whispered as he stood before her.

“It’s okay beautiful. I’m just glad you are okay. My father… he won’t be bothering us ever again. I’m sorry you had to deal with him by yourself. He should have never been able to get to the house,” Pacho said pulling her into his arms.

She hugged him back with a sigh.

“I hear you and Diego are spending the day together?” Pacho mentioned with a curious look.

“Yeah. I mean… we both care about you. May as well get along right? So, we are going to go get to know another,” Blix explained scratching the back of her neck.

“I like that you two are spending time together. Though now you two will conspire against me I feel. But I’ll deal with that later,” Pacho teased as he walked her back into the living room.

She chuckled at that, grabbing a jacket and an umbrella that was offered to her, as her and Diego made their way out to his car.

“Alright. Where we going first?” Blix asked as they started to drive.

“Figured we could go grab a bite to eat to go, followed by either some shopping or we could go to a museum?” Diego listed out as he fiddled with the radio for a moment.

“Food yes. Shopping maybe. Museum. Hmm. I’d be down for that. Be nice to go to museum that I don’t have to investigate,” Blix replied nodding her head to the music that was now blasting from the radio.

Livin on a Prayer by Bon Jovi was playing, and she began to rock out to it. Diego laughed for a moment before joining her.

When they got into downtown Cali, they picked up some muffins and hot teas to drink. They ate as they drove to a nearby museum. They parked, dashing inside the museum trying to avoid the rain as much as possible. They strolled around the museum, talking about each piece that caught their interests. Diego was apparently quite a history buff.

Blix looked at him with a soft smile.

“What? What’s with that look?” Diego questioned as they were finishing up their walk around.

“Nothing. It’s… it’s nice talking to someone who knows what I’m talking about without… having to explain 30 other events and situations. It’s honestly nice, having someone else explain new facts to me,” She explained with a shrug.

“Clearly, you haven’t dated the right men. Pacho especially loves art, ask him to take you to an auction sometime. He’d loved that,” Diego joked, throwing an arm around her shoulders.

“Hm. Loves art eh? Is that why he bought a Caravaggio without verifying it was real?” Blix snorted as they walked into the gift shop.

Diego choked on a laugh, “Oof. Well. First off, Miguel bought that and gifted it to Pacho. Pacho only kept it up because it was a gift. He hated it otherwise.”

“Good to know. So, where should we go after this?” Blix asked staring at some trinkets.

“Don’t know. Where do you like to shop?” Diego asked picking up a glass figurine, staring at it before putting it back down.

She bit her lip at the thought that came to mind.

“Ever been thrift store shopping?” She inquired, with a raised eyebrow.

Diego looked at her surprised, “Noo. You… you like thrift stores?”

“Yeah? Duh. Do I look like the kind of person who likes to shop at fancy-schmancy places?” Blix countered gesturing to her outfit.

“Soulmate. That’s what you are. Let’s go!” He excitedly said dragging her out to the car.

The two of them spent the next several hours, going to various thrift shops, trying on outfits and being goofy. The two of them both bought several things from each shop, items varying from outfits to accessories.

When they had their fill of shopping, they grabbed a bite to eat, parked on the side of the road, munching away happily.

“I don’t ask this to annoy you, but are you okay after last night? I’ve had the displeasure of meeting their father as well. It’s…” He trailed off making a face.

“Yeah. I’m okay. It was just unnerving how much he and Pacho looked a like,” Blix noted with a small shudder.

“Same. Took me a while to separate that what he said, did not come from Pacho himself. This is the third time he’s appeared out of nowhere and it’ll be the last. You can always talk to me about it. Pacho… he knows how terrible his father is but doesn’t quite understand why it’s hard to get over the things his father says,” Diego commented.

Blix nodded with a grateful smile, “Thanks.”

The two of them finished their meal, tossing the remains into a nearby public trashcan. As they made their way back to Pacho’s house they talked about their pasts. He knew a great deal about hers so, he was telling her mostly about himself.

“Parents abandoned me when I was a kid. Bounced around in the foster system for a long while. When I was 17, I ran off, decided I wanted to make my own way through the world. Ran into Pacho, quite literally, and my life changed from that day forward,” Diego began.

“How did you ‘quite literally’ run into Pacho? Explain that good sir,” Blix wondered with a teasing smile.

“Was running from a cop, stole food cause I was hungry, and ran right into Pacho. Cop was fortunately on the Cali’s payroll, so Pacho just waved him off. Took me in, 2 months later we were together, and have been since,” Diego told her with a laugh.

Blix laughed softly at that, listening to him tell more stories about himself.

Soon enough they had pulled up to the house, and after grabbing as many bags as they could, they hurried inside. It took a few minutes to sort out what went to who, but soon enough they had parted to go placed their stuff in their rooms.

She was hanging stuff up when she heard Pacho’s voice, “Did you two have fun?”

She looked toward him, before skipping over to him, “Yes. We did. It was a good bonding experience.”

Pacho shook his head at that, pressing a kiss to her lips softly.

“Would you like to come swim with us? I think Diego may be a bit in love with you. Something about history and thrift shopping?” He ribbed lightly.

She kissed him back, walking over to her closet to grab a bathing suit. She grabbed a two piece, changing into it quickly. It was times like this she was glad his pool was indoors. She grabbed a towel, following Pacho to his room, where he changed as well.

Pacho after getting dressed, stopped and stared at her for a moment. He was checking her out, a smirk growing on his face as he examined her.

She noticed his staring, “What?”

“Just admiring you,” He stated simply as he walked forward.

She looked down and away, a slight warmth to her cheeks.

“Snake charmer. That’s all you are,” She muttered as she turned and led the way to the pool.

Pacho’s smirk only grew, especially as he was treated to her backside.

“Stop staring at my ass,” She called over shoulder.

Pacho slowly caught up to her as they entered the pool house. Diego was already doing some laps when they joined him. The water was warm, as she stepped in, dunking herself when she got in deep enough. She floated calmly as she heard the guys goofing around and splashing each other.

She felt one of them swim up to her, and she turned her head to see who appeared.

“May I ask where all of these scars came from?” Diego politely requested as he looked at her.

She straightened up, to stand, wadded over to the edge, pulling herself up to sit on it.

“Ask away,” She granted, ringing water out of her hair.

He came up to her and would point at a scar. Her answers tended to be brief as she explained them, many were from work and others were from her childhood.

Pacho had at some point joined them, listening quietly. Once she was done, Pacho slowly pulled her back into the pool. As she rejoined them in the water, Pacho kissed the side of her neck, gently. She turned her head to him, kissing his cheek. She moved forward, wanting to do some laps before she got too tired.

When she was done, she got out, wrapping her towel around her, watching Pacho & Diego for a moment. While they were distracted, she made her way inside the house, briefly stopping to get a drink. It was while she was taking a sip of her Pepsi that she heard a strange noise. Setting her drink down, she moved toward the sound, which led to the basement door.

She knew she should let it go and ignore it, but she couldn’t help herself. She opened the door, walking down the dimly stairs. As she reached the bottom there was a lone light shining onto a man, tied down to a chair.

She realized as she got closer that it was Mr. Herrera, who had been badly beaten. His head lulled up to look at her, hearing her footsteps.

“Well, well, well. My son’s whore. What brings you here? Want to take a few hits too?” He taunted, spitting out blood.

“No. Heard a noise. Making sure the house wasn’t haunted. Now that I see that it’s just you… well. I think I’ll let you die alone and miserable,” She responded disgusted.

She turned away from him, planning to just go back to her room.

“Wait. Don’t you turn your back on me. Come back here,” He demanded, with a groan and a cough.

“No. Don’t think I will. Enjoy the rest of your life. However short it may be,” She stated not turning around.

She could hear him yelling more profanities at her as she closed the basement door, grabbing her drink, and going upstairs.

Unaware that Pacho had seen her emerge from that room, he listened to his father’s shouts for a minute before ordering Navegante to get rid of him. He found Blix in her room, grabbing clothes to change into for bed, after her shower.

“You should join me in my room, once you are done,” He told her, causing her to jump slightly as she wasn’t expecting him.

“Christ! Clearly need to throw a bell on you, so I have a warning system,” Blix startled, pressing a hand to her chest.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Pacho apologized before requesting. “I know that…sometimes curiosity can get the best of us. Do me a favor, please don’t go down to the basement anymore. For your own safety.”

“I promise. I’m going to go clean up, and then I’ll join you in your room,” She promised him.

About 20 minutes later, she was strolling into Pacho’s room. She had finished her drink beforehand and joined him on the bed.

“Diego joining us?” She wondered.

“Not tonight, he has other plans,” He whispered to her.

“Your dad… was he always like that? Or was he just good at hiding his hate before he found out about you?” She asked him, shaking her head.

“Hm. Let’s just say… my mother left him for a good reason. She was trying to gain full custody of us when he kicked me out. I didn’t care much. I was moreso worried about Alvaro. I was able to help my mother gain custody of him at least,” Pacho explained, as he wrapped his arms around her.

She returned his embrace, “That’s good….” She paused for a second. “I assume Navegante took care of him.”

Pacho nodded in response, and Blix simply said, “Good.”

She burrowed herself into his arms, growing tired.

“I did want to thank you though. For defending my honor. Not many people would be willing to shoot at their partner’s parent. In fact…” Pacho trailed off, as his hand slowly slid down her curves.

His hand languidly found its way into her sleep shorts, moving past her underwear. His fingers ran themselves up and down her slit, toying with her folds lightly. She took in a shuddering breath as his thumb brushed against her clit.

He gently slid a finger inside her, making a come-hither motion, before a second finger joined. The palm of his hand brushed against her clit teasingly, slowly working her up. Her body was growing warm, and breath short as his movements became more deliberate.

Soon his fingers found a spot that made her gasp loudly, her hands trying to find purchase wherever. His fingers moved over that spot several times, leading her to a swift orgasm. She rode out her orgasm for a moment or two before he pulled his hand away.

“Well. I was tired, but now I don’t really want to sleep,” She moaned softly.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Pacho groaned as he rolled them over slightly, laying on top of her.

They spent the rest of the night trying to wear each other out.

[aellynera]

Don’t Forget the Napkins (Llewyn Davis x Reader)

DON’T FORGET THE NAPKINS

Word count: 2733(ish)

Warnings: Just a little bit of language, really (I mean, it’s Llewyn, so...) Like one sentence about Pappi’s creepy tendencies.

(with prompts: “Call me now, it’s urgent”; “Have you lost your mind”; and “So...can we go eat?”)

Another Saturday night at the Gaslight. There was nothing odd about that, it was where you spent pretty much every Saturday night for the past year and half, working behind the bar and waiting on the tables out by the stage when needed. Sure, it was dark, smoky, and kind of dingy, but it helped make ends meet and you got to listen to music for free.

The music is what you had first come to the Gaslight for, right after you graduated from college and moved to the big city. You loved the music and started coming in every chance you got, no matter who was on stage, just to sit in the room in the moment and experience the music. Pappi had taken a shine to you, said you reminded him of his little sister. You had no idea if he really had a sister, nor did you care, but it was certainly less creepy than Pappi telling you it was because he wanted to fuck you, so you let it slide. You had heard him make the latter suggestion to more performers than you cared to admit, but he was a decent boss and you got on well at the job, so it all worked out.

You had majored in English and wanted to be a famous writer, maybe even write some songs that people would talk about and still sing years from now, so where else would you go other than New York City? That’s where the culture was. That’s where the art scene was. That’s where the nightlife and bright lights and intellectuals were. And that’s also where Llewyn Davis was.

Llewyn. Now there was a riddle wrapped in an enigma inside a mystery.

You had seen him perform quite a few times at the Gaslight, and even bought his record when it came out. You talked to him just about every time he was there, because he always sat at the bar both before and after he performed. He had seemed quiet at first; well, he still did, really, but by now you knew the right combination of idle chit-chat, soft smiles, and whiskey straight up to get him to drop the first line of defense. Once that happened, he would talk to you all night. And if you weren’t busy, you’d let him. At some point, you had told him about your dreams of writing and creating songs that people wanted to sing (there was no way you were going to sing them yourself, at least not in public; your stage fright was too monumental and soul crushing). He had just looked at you thoughtfully for a moment, pushing one of his perfect dark curls off his face, then finished his drink and went up on the stage. When he came back, he ordered another drink and started up random conversation again. Then the night was over.

And that was his mystery - he spoke of many things, but he never really told you anything. You had an easy back and forth, a friendship even, but it felt like he never let on more than the bare minimum.

But the night after you had told him about the songwriting, you had come in to work and there was a note for you behind the bar. Two lines, scribbled on a napkin. You read them a few times and realized it was maybe the beginning of a poem...or lyrics. So you quickly wrote two more lines, and when Llewyn came in that night, you walked up to him and stuck the folded napkin in his pocket. He looked surprised, but you caught the slight upturn of his lips a few minutes later when he took it out, looked at it, and then carefully put it back in his pocket.

The next night, the napkin was back. Two more lines. So you added two more. The same thing the next day. And the next, and the day after that. It kind of became your thing, without anything else ever being said about it. Sometimes there was a whole verse written out and you would start a chorus, and vice versa. Once it was one word at a time and that had honestly gone off the rails pretty quickly, but it was fun.

And it had been going on for just about a year. You saw it as a mental game to keep your writing sharp and your brain engaged and your friend entertained. He certainly did more than his fair share in entertainment from his stool on the stage.

So when you got to work that night, it wasn’t a surprise to find another napkin meticulously folded and placed behind the bar where you normally stowed your pocketbook and keys. The place was more packed than usual, but there was some new guy named Dylan or something that was playing and there was a lot of buzz around him. So that was normal too. Smiling to yourself, you picked up the napkin and read the familiar scrawl.

Call me now, it’s urgent.

That was..not normal. Your face scrunched up in confusion, you quickly looked up and caught the mop of dark curls hunched over at the end of the bar. Grabbing a clean bar towel and the bottle of his favorite whiskey, you made your way over.

“Oh...good, you got my message,” he said, raising his eyes ever so slightly to meet yours over the rim of his tumbler. They were (beautiful and dark and compelling and soft and…) sort of glassy and red around the edges and maybe a little bloodshot? And was that a smirk inching its way onto his lips? You sighed.

“You’re sitting right here, Llewyn,” you said, taking the glass from his hand and refilling it without him asking. You pushed it back to him. “So thank you for saving me the dime.”

He snorted. “Come on, it was...a little funny, right?”

You shook your head, but you couldn’t keep your own small smile off your face. Did he realize the irony that you wouldn’t have been able to call him anyway, since you never really knew where he would be staying? “And you’re a little pissed already, huh? Isn’t it a bit early for that?”

“Nah, not really. And I’m not drunk. I am alcoholically reinforced,” he took another sip of his drink.

“...what does that even mean?”

He shook his head, that one particular curl flopping over his forehead and into (those beautiful, soulful, deep, enchanting…) his eyes. He totally ignored your question. “So, uh, look,” he started, suddenly seeming a bit more unsure of himself. “I really wanted to ask you, if…”

“No, you cannot borrow my couch tonight, Llewyn. My sister is in town.” You idly wiped at the bar top with your towel, raising an eyebrow at him.

For a split second he looked offended, but it was so brief you almost missed it. “What? No, no, I don’t need a place to...look, I just needed to tell you...well, ask you really, but also tell you…”

“Hey, Llewyn!” Pappi’s voice suddenly boomed from the other side of the room. “Lay off the help and get your ass up on stage! You’re not gettin’ half the basket just to sit here and drink all my booze!”

Llewyn sighed. “Yeah, yeah, all right,” he yelled back. His attention turned back to you. “So, listen, really though I need to…”

You swatted at him with the towel. “You need to finish that glass and get up there before we both get in trouble, is what you need to do. It looks like it’s gonna be a crazy night, I’ll catch you after, yeah? We’ll go grab a burger at that place down the block, my treat.” You flashed him a grin as you walked away before he could say anything else. And by say anything else, you really meant say no, because that man needed to eat a good, hot meal. As usual.

Llewyn watched you walk off and start tending to other patrons, then threw back the rest of his glass in one gulp. “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath as he walked to the stage. “Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me…”

As Llewyn picked up his guitar and got himself situated, you filled drink orders and watched him as you did so. It was getting harder to deny that he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen, especially when he was up there, under the single spotlight and surrounded by the smoky haze of the crowd and his own cigarette smoke. There was just something about him. But the puzzle and mystery and enigma hung over everything and you were fairly certain you’d never crack the actual code, so you just let your crush be a crush. It was part of what made the Gaslight worth it, after all.

The night went on, busy and loud and musical. This particular crowd was really getting into his set and you couldn’t help but feel proud of him. He deserved the attention, and you knew he wanted it, even if he liked to pretend he didn’t. After a few songs, you took a pint glass of water up to the stage. It was something you always did for performers, but especially for Llewyn (since he tended to drink more than his fair share of whiskey in the meantime). You were about halfway to the stage when he strummed a few notes and started to introduce his next song.

“So, uh...well, this is a new song for me,” he started, noticing you coming his way. “And I didn’t really plan on doing this until maybe about an hour or so ago, but well...I dunno, sometimes when something just feels right, it’s right, you know?” His eyes meet yours as you set the glass on the small table next to him on the stage, and he momentarily seems to search for the next words.

“Y’know I usually work alone, but, uh, I wrote this next song with a friend. A good friend. Someone who is really talented and good with words, better with words than I am. And...and she doesn’t know I’m doing this but I’ll ask for forgiveness later.” He chuckled and the crowd did too in response.

Llewyn cleared his throat. “So, yeah. This is a song I wrote with the help of a lovely lady you probably all know. If you do, ask her to make you a drink, and if you don’t, well, go back to the bar and introduce yourself.”

You were almost to the back of the room, back to said bar, when your eyes shot wide and you spun on your heel to face the stage. Oh no, he did not just...did he? It’s kind of hard to clearly see his face from back here with the light and the glare in the smoke but you could swear that jerk is grinning, like full on guilty smiling, and in that instant you swore if you weren’t working and there weren’t so many people shoved into this space you might go up there and actually punch him. Your face was on fire and your stomach felt like it was going to drop out the bottoms of your feet. Your mouth dropped open before you could stop it.

Every pair of eyes in the room suddenly turned on you. There were maybe a hundred people there? Around that many. A hundred people times two and that’s how many eyes were suddenly staring right at you. There was only one pair of eyes you really cared about, though.

You managed to catch Llewyn’s eyes for a moment and you mouthed at him - Have you lost your mind? He shrugged slightly, closed his eyes, and started playing his...your...song.

It was beautiful. From the second line you recognized the napkin it had come from, one that got passed back and forth about four months ago, during a particularly cold week when it didn’t quite snow but the rain was still frozen. It was a back and forth about two people realizing they were in love but being too afraid and preoccupied and aloof to do or say anything about it. Typical unrequited love stuff. But oh, suddenly, oh now it had much more meaning. You listened, and watched, from the corner behind the bar, transfixed and unable to look away as every emotion you knew and some you never knew existed washed over you in time with the notes from the guitar and Llewyn’s gorgeous voice.

Once the song ended, you somewhat got your bearings and turned back to the bar. People were already coming over to tell you how beautiful the song was, ask if you really wrote it with Llewyn Davis, tell you how much they enjoyed it, ask if you had written any others...you were only vaguely aware of most of it and managed to pour some drinks and answered things as best you could, until finally one voice broke through all the others.

“So. Um. Did you like it?”

You closed your eyes for a minute, biting your lip. “Llewyn...I...what just happened?”

He looked down for a second, then reached over and took the glass you were holding and the bar towel out of your hands. He gently wrapped his fingers around yours, giving you a light squeeze. He didn’t say anything for a few more seconds, but when you didn’t pull away, he continued, “I tried to tell you...shit, I kept every single one of those napkins since we started doing that, and I turned some of ‘em into a song and wanted to play it tonight. I tried, but...well...fuck, you’re not mad at me are you?”

You weren’t mad. God, you were anything but mad at this man. Stunned, and surprised, yes, but definitely not mad. He kept all those napkins? You’d always half-wondered what happened to them, but never really gave it much thought, but you hadn’t really expected that to be the answer. Your brain still couldn’t quite process your own words correctly, so you just shook your head no and squeezed his hands in return.

Llewyn let out a huge sigh of relief. “Oh, thank fuck. For a few minutes there I thought I really fucked things up.”

You finally got your head back straight and laughed. “No, you didn’t,” you smiled. You cocked your head to the side and studied his face for a moment. “I still can’t quite figure you out, but you definitely did not fuck anything up.”

“Good,” he nodded. He lifted your fingers to his lips and brushed his lips along your knuckles, suddenly pulling away when Pappi snorted from his corner of the bar. You both turned to him, scowls on your faces, and Llewyn whipped the bar towel at Pappi’s head.

“So...can we go eat?” Llewyn asked, turning his attention back to you and ignoring Pappi’s continued string of bemused and somewhat lewd sounds.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Eat. Y’know, burgers? At that joint down the street? You said something earlier about buying me dinner?” Llewyn asked dryly.

You rolled your eyes. “Seriously? You sing me a song that I helped you write, and then you expect me to buy you dinner.”

“Well, you did offer.”

You bit your lip again as your smile grew wider and a blush crept further up your face. “Okay. But make sure you don’t lose these, we’re going to need them.” You grabbed a few pens from underneath the bar before coming around to his side and shoving them in Llewyn’s coat pocket.

“Okay, sure? But what are those for?” he asked, slipping and arm around your waist and leading you to the door.

“Because,” you replied, your tone implying that he should already know, “there are a lot of napkins floating around that place.”

Llewyn pulled you a little closer and you smiled into his embrace. “Ohhhhh.”

“And Llewyn?”

“Yeah?”

“I wasn’t kidding about the couch, my sister really is in town. But I’ve got a much more comfortable place you can stay tonight.”

~end~

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: How Santa Stole Christmas! or Scrooge is kind of a dick

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everybody! Christmas begins on this blog with the last new Ducktales of the season! Time to break out some eggnog, presents and warmth of good family, i’ve got a bushel of Christmas reviews planned for the season, and this one is just the start of htem. As you can probably tell by my enthusasim I love this holiday. Oh sure it has it’s bad sides, paticuarlly several jackasses making huge deals out of the fact some people say happy holidays because “there’s a war on christmas” when really their just petty morons who can’t accept theirs more than one holiday in the month and not everyone likes christmas. I do, but I know not everyone does, and that’s fine. But overall it’s a fine holiday with warmth, cheer, family, generosity and of course, what brings us here today, really damn good episodes and specials of television. It’s just a really warm and cheerful time that , whlie it can bring out the absolute worst in people.. can also bring out the best more often than not. And that’s why I love this holiday. If you don’t that’s just fine, but it’s my blog, I can love what I want. And I love this holiday.. and I loved this episode, a good end to a great run of episodes. So let’s rock around the Christmas tree and find out why Scrooge hates santa, this is How Santa Claus Stole Christmas!

We open with the classic night before Christmas poem.. only naturally since Della is reading it to the boys, it’s Scrooge’s version involving barbed wire and calling the man a traitor because what honestly did you expect. Though I find it ironic a man introduced in a Christmas story has a one-sided blood feud with Santa. The boys are annoyed with this and just want free presents and the presecne of a jolly fat man and don’t get why Scrooge hates him. And yeah.. all of that tracks. They were raised by Donald who, while he clearly spent several years at Scrooges tolerating this feud, likely figured the Feud was just some personal gripe of scrooges and that Santa had done nothing that terrible. Which given Scrooge isn’t personable on the best of days and the episode goes out of it’s way to point out Scrooge has no friends, is entirely accurate and Donald was, as always the sane one in this situation. Plus he was already mad at Scrooge, this was just another way to tell him to go fuck himself. 

The boys hear what they think is Santa on the roof but turns out to be Scrooge, in full Scottish war garb manning traps with webby.. in full chimney camo... putting a knife to Dewey’s throat for siding with santa.. well okay pointing at his throat but still god damn. Every now in then i’m reminded how ready Webby is to murder someone. It never gets easier or less disturbing. The boys.. continue to make a good point: Scrooge says he’s the richest duck in the world and can provide them whatever.. but being Scrooge just gives them itchy hats made of cheap fabric, and bemoans them wanting a trampoline, a new electronic game, and a new phone. And while Scrooge can give them whatever he wants, it’s his money, he also could’ve put some actual thought into it and clearly views the holiday more as a transaction and less for hte acutal sentmient. Instead of giving them personal mementos, or making them personal mementos, or even just simply building them a sled or something, a simpler toy than what they want but still something nice that comes from the heart.. he just gave them the cheapest hat he could find and tries to guilt them for not liking his thoughtless present he probably bought in bulk for everyone in the manor and his employ because he’s kind of a dick sometimes. IT’s good storytelling though as it sets up that Scrooge.. can possibly be int he wrong, so when the main plot comes to his front door, quite literally, there’s some doubt as to wither he or santa is in the wrong. Speaking of which Santa is at the door. So cue the credits and cue the cut for the rest of the plot as is usual. Full spoilers, and full plot under the cut. Ho ho ho. 

First a quick comment on the Holiday version of the theme, the same one from Last Christmas! IT’s really good, a really nice frank sinatra style verison of the theme. Good stuff. My only real complaint is like last time.. there’s nothing unique about it, it’s just the normal season 3 intro but with snowflakes. And that’s.. more on Disney than the creators. If Frank and Matt had the option they would likely do an entirely original intro.. it’s just Disney can be cheap when it comes to intros, see how possesed ludo stayed in the star vs intro long after that plot point was resolved, and only affords one a season. That being said they still have one up on most networks, who, with the exception of Netfix with she ra, never really let intros change more than once, if at all. I mean I get it, budgets are higher here than with anime, they can’t do a new song and intro every half a season.. BUUUT it wouldn’t kill more stuidos to do this more often and do a complete intro overhaul, as it adds freshness, and you can still use the same old theme, just over a new set of pretty images. Most just allow a few swap outs, Disney included, and while I get intros are expensive, this is something you can use for a whole season, or more, why are you like this? 

Anyways one theme song and me complaning about an animation trend I don’t like later, we’re inside the Manor with none of the other adults present because this season hates me. I do actually get it this go round: Besides Della, Donald and Launchpad getting a full subplot in the other holiday episode, they aren’t really needed. In fact most of the episode’s present day is a framing device for the tale of how Scrooge and Santa met and why Scrooge hates him, so for once the minmal use of the supporting cast.. is actually done well. The focus is on Scrooge and Santa, a feud that’s had four years build up in real time, and two years in series and a bunch of months. So yeah, i’m okay with sidelining everyone for once, because this story really needed all of the space and there was no real place for them aside from the climax. This is Scrooge and Santa’s story, with Webby there as an impartial-ish observer. We’ll get to that in a moment.  Also if your curious where in the fuck this episode fits on the series massively warped time scale.. i’m going with this and “The Trickining!” taking place before season 3, since “Astro Boyd” takes place in march, and “Forbidden Fountain” takes place in probably late april, huge thanks to a friend on discord for help with the timeline. Otherwise it just makes no sense whatsover and while it dosen’t TECHINCALLY need to, I prefer the series timeline at least making some rational sense. The world dosen’t have to but time still does. So the boys are at least 12, possibly turning 13. Congrats. Or maybe they just don’t age. I dunno. 

Now time and plot concerns aside, Santa gladly gives the boys their gifts which is.. everything they listed: A mini tramp for Dewey, Legends of Legend-Quest 2 for Huey, and another phone for Louie, which Scrooge dosen’t get. But Louie gets it on 2 levels: One, the one he asked for is probably a nicer model and as someone who just got a very marginally nicer model on insurance, I get it, even if like Scrooge i’m fine as long as mine works, it’s still nice to have more space to do shit. And two, he plans to sell the old one and keep the money. So yeah the boys already loved Santa but now they have every reason to since, you know, Santa actually gave them what they asked for and Scrooge gave them itchy hats because he’s cheap not because he put the slighest thought into it. And no i’m ont letting him get away with that: Again, off list, perfectly fine. Right behind me on my sprawl of book shelves is Weird Al’s biography, a really fun, really intresting book with photos on his career. I did not ask for it, but my mom rightly knew I would love it and got it for me for my birthday, which is very close to christmas, the 16th if you were curious, anyway, and I’ve treasured it since.. and really need to re-read it. My point is you CAN get someone something they didn’t ask for and still have it be something they LIKE. I did that for most of my christmas gifts this year. Scrooge just, as I went on about above, didn’t give a shit and was a bit callous about it so yeah, Santa wins this round.  But Santa naturally needs Scrooge’s help to save Christmas because his ankle’s sprained and he’s out of options. Scrooge.. naturally refuses because, as i’ve made clear this and past episodes, he can be kind of a dick and Santa is one of his worst enemies in his mind. Why help him? So Santa, reluctantly, offers Scrooge the one thing you can get for the man who has everything: An agreement to leave his house alone. The boys aren’t happy about it, but Scrooge reluctantly agrees to the deal. They prepare to mount up though the boys aren’t invited, as Scrooge thinks their too far in the Santa camp and Scrooge does not trust him. Which again is both accurate and fair on their parts as again, he gave them things with well meaning and love, he gave them hats he fished out of the dollar store clearance bin. I mean at least go for the dvd’s and blu rays man. Yeesh. Santa does lightly buy them off by offering them another present if their good boys. Though honestly given Santa in this universe, he probably was going to anyway and this is his nice way of getting them to stay behind to make Scrooge happy. 

So as they take off, while Webby is wary of Santa, she is curious what happened, especially since earlier Scrooge actually did finally voice his gripe, if without any full length explination: Santa took Christmas From him. And Della might know that, Scrooge likely didn’t tell her or Donald the full story and Donald rightly didn’t buy it was that one sided. And it isn’t as we’ll see. Since the episodes divided up into two storylines, i’m once again splitting the difference. This time though I would like to mention the story is beautifully woven in, with both complementing each other: there’s some legit suspense as we wonder if Santa did something really that bad or if he’s lying to webby, or if Scrooge being Scrooge was just exaggerating or holding onto a grudge that was partly his fault. It’s genuinely well done to build up the story and helps really flesh Santa out as a character in both stories. i’m only not doing that because my short term memory, while good enough to hold the story for now can be spotty, and this is a lot less taxing on it. Also parts of this segment happen before the boys leave, but it’s easier this way. Sooooo... 

Times Past: Santa’s Worst Christmas Some time ago... seriously I don’t know. Scrooge was born in the 1800′s and Christmas well existed by then, to the point there’s actually a story starring young scrooge published over seas. Granted the Duck’s are no stranger to christmas, as I already covered Christmas on Bear Mountain for Scrooge’s birthday, and will be covering “A Christmas for Shacktown’ sometime this December. It’s just something worth noting. But given this universe can do whatever it wants, having it invited sometime in the early 1900′s or late 1800s is fine just fine. 

Scrooge is a coal salesman, selling people what they need but getting no shelter as he’s, again, an ass. But in the depths he finds Santa, whose having trouble puling his sleigh, and gets them in the previously closed door with kindess and saying he’s with me. We now get an idea of who Santa truly is: a kind, selfless soul who thinks nothing of himself, and is happy to offer a gift in exchange for something, but does so only in the most well meaning, warmest way possible. In short this Santa really is.. what Santa is at his best in stories; a kind, generous man who just wants to make people happy. He just gave a gift not because he wanted to bribe his way in, but because he was genuinely hoping for some shelter and wanted to be greatful. It also shows that clearly, even if something did happen.. Santa probably isn’t evil. A twist still could’ve come.. but spoilers.. it dosen’t. Santa is genuinely this kind and self sacrificing and noble. He’s just a good person.. and that would ultimately be the problem but we’ve got a lot of subplot to cover.  So Santa parties with what are clearly going to be his elves, and turn out indeed to be elves at the end when the fire goes out and Scrooge is suddenly in buisness.. and he and Santa make a great team, as Santa talks him up and says he can deliver a whole year’s worth of coal all over the world by Christmas Morning, so Christmas DOES exist here, it’s just Santa didn’t which kind of tracks. Well played. I’ll keep my earlier mistake in there though. Keeps me fresh. But Santa offers to help.. after all what are friends for? And Scrooge says their not friends.. their partners. 

And Santa says why not both. And a friendship is forged. And it makes sense.. while i’ts not as tight as it will be, Santa is a warm generous guy who helped Scrooge multiple times just to be kind: He helped him find shelter to repay his kindness helping him.. then helped him sell his coal, when he didn’t have to and while he upsold him on what he could do, did so not out of malice, but so his friend could sell MORE and with eveyr intention of helping. And this friend is someone he just met, is kind of cranky and rude.. but as we all know is a good person underneath and to Santa.. that’s what he sees.. the kind young man who helped him pull his sleigh when he didn’t have to and was already cold and miserable. And that.. that just warms my heart a lot.  But Scrooge being Scrooge has a mystic artifact that could help: The Feliz Navidiamond, a mystic artifact that can seemingly control time he got off a  spanish sailor needing coal. The two head in but encounter it’s guardians. The Magic reindeer! And that’s part of what I love about this episode: besides really getting christmas, we’ll get to that, it has a creative and intresting Santa origin baked into the show’s mythology that also shows off an intresting part of Scrooge’s past. Santa manages to pacify them with jingle bells and our heroes head inside.  In the cavern they find a Giant Snowman.. because this show is fucking awesome and Santa’s attempt to be nice bacfires but Scrooge’s natural paranoia and gumption pull through. It shows off why they make a good team: Santa’s niceties helped them with the reindeer, and netted them future transportation, while Scrooge’s natural grumpus tendencies help when nice just won’t do it. They work well together: one’s a showman and the other hasn’t learned how yet, one is nice the other naughty. It’s easy to see why they worked so well together.. in both senses. They make it past the Snowman and find that the diamond slows down time running on “christmas time!”.. seriously a great pun and one of many this episode. This show had a chance to go all out on holiday puns this go round and they did not blow it. 

But... sadly... and obviously the good times can’t roll forever and when we next return to the story it’s a year later. McDuck and Klaus coal is a MASSIVE concern, and Scrooge is eager to get started... but Santa.. wants to just give gifts instead. To do something Generous. Buisness just isn’t in him and he just wants to do something kind. It’s.. not a bad goal.. i’ts just not Scrooge. To Scrooge it’s a betryal of all he stands for: foreswearing profit to give something for nothing for seemingly no reason and to a younger even meaner scrooge.. it’s an utter betryal.. and a breaking point. Either his daft presents idea.. or Scrooge. And why yes this episode is dripping with ho yay and why yes this does resemble his painful breakups with goldie. And why yes is glorious.. Imean I wasn’t shipping Scrooge with santa before but now? Hot damn. But yeah the two have come to a parting of ways, and Scrooge bitterly leaves, while the elves reveal themselves. And my heart hurts “The Empire Builder from Callisota” bad so thank you and fuck you show.  It also probably shows why Scrooge has exactly one friend, who also works with him so it’s complicated, in present day: He just dosen’t want to let people in... and now we know WHY. The first genuine friend he made, the first person he let into his heart.. betrayed him. It’s no wonder it took decades for Beakly, then the kids to get into his heart again: the guy’s been betrayed by goldie, in his mind betrayed by santa and as we’ve seen his own dad turned against him eventually. He had no one for so long, he built a wall all around him but the wall was too tall and it blocked out all the birds and the son. But this .. is a really damn good story that fleshes Scrooge out and explains his hardness. In the comics it was Glomgold.. here.. it’s much more personal and cuts much deeper. And I absolutely love it. This story could’ve neatly fit into life and times if it made any sense in Rosa’s timeline, and it would be just perfect there. 

PRESENT DAY: Concentrated Awwww

The present day plot is a lot simplier but still fantsatic: Webby slowly warms up to Santa depsite herself.. despite Scrooge clealry seeing she is.. she sees the man is just.. nice. He gives her a new crossbow, a really nice one she probably didn’t even expect to get given you know, everything and knowing scrooge, and appricates the sentiment and slowly sees the man isn’t some monster, but just a jolly old fat man who wants to give presents. Even Scrooge seemingly warms up a little.  We also get tons of cameos during delivery, as they visit tons of supporting cast.. sadly no Darkwing.. but this one was clearly meant to go anywhere and is clealry set before “Let’s Get Dangerous”, but tons of other great bits: We get the Drake recidence with Boyd getting a present.. and somehow also doofus whose filled his stocking full of.. something. I don’t want to know and you can’t make me ask. You can make me ask why the fuck Doofus gets a present, but it could be filled with bees or maybe Santa truly thinks theirs good in him.. which .. yeah tracks. I mean not their being good in him.. I think dr. loomis said it best.. I mean it was about micheal meyers but.. same diffrence minus the patricide?

I mean points for trying though Santa, you mean well you loveable bear in both senses of the word you. But anyways other cameos include Fenton, alsleep with his armor strewn about, aww, with the gizmo armor set to hit people with fruit cake. Thought that was against the geneva convetion but alright. Scrooge���s been hit with worse. We also get them visiting the boat and giving Donald and Della presents, awww. And of course I saved the cameo I put up top for last as Webby visits her closest friend and her gilfriend and gives both an adorable cheek kiss. Though only Lena reacts.. probably because this isn’t the first time Webby’s snuck into their bedroom at night but probably the first time it hasn’t been accidently creepy because she’s still learning boundaries. Also i did not realized they shared a room. Aww. Also it’s the first time we’ve seen their room, which as you’d image from a sorceress and a magical researcher/bookworm, it’s a massive sprawling library from what we see with a skull with a candle in it, a picture of a house, and a calender. IN short it’s perfect and i’m glad we finally saw their room. 

So yeah things are going well and Webby finally realizes “Shit Scrooge is the bad guy in this scenario” at the end of the story, realizing Santa was just as hurt by the split as Scrooge was and that he had to make the harder choihce for the right reasons. Unfortunately, as i’ve said a lot this review, SCrooge is a dick and only coperated, as he wasn’t using the magical present sack, but his own filled with Coal to teach people about responsiblity. Thankfully, Scrooge realizes he’s been a dick to the globe when he happens upon little Jeniffer, a small pig girl who mistakes him from santa and takes his coal, meant to warm her fires.. and makes it into a doll. And resists his attempts to take “Coalette away”... Scrooge then rants and .. we actually get a good reason for why he’s being such a douche... as a kid he had nothing, and a gift of coal for his fires would’ve been welcmoed. He simply just.. dosen’t get the frivolity. He gets the warmth and joy of the season but not the gift part. And it’s only seeing this small, innocent child, play with a doll, he realizes “A warm heart can keep you going through the coldest nights”. And it’s then he finally realizes why his old friend did what he did.. because as i’ve been saying the real gift.. is in the giving.. of giving someone something that makes their memories glow and their heart warm. Even a lump of coal can do that in the right hands... a toy can get someone through the roughest times and it’s the WARMTH of the gift you remember, not the gift itself. I remember that book I mentioned proudly.. as do I remmeber the copy of the art of the venture brothers right next to me, or the copy of the people’s doonesbury my best friend mike bought me, and so on.. not because of the book itself... but because of the thought and warmth of someone getitng something for you because they care, not for their own reward, but just to make you feel nice this holiday season. That’s the true spirit of christmas.  Naturally realizing the errror of his ways in true christmas story fashion, Scrooge is devistated by his own actions. And Santa is PISSED.. but Scrooge is now regretful.. if also pissed because Santa stormed in there and it turns out this was all a ploy to get his friend back... which destroys Scrooge’s anger as he realizes just how much his old friend missed him and how many years he wasted lashing out at him when , in the end, Santa was right. So with only so much Diamond power left, and time running out, what can they do to right this? Simple, Scrooge suggests splitting resources. 

So we get a glorious shot of the three boys, and the twins riding  the reindeer. Also we get Launchpad! 

Who naturally wonders if he can crash a reindeer while Beakly thankfully stops him from murdering Dasher. So Christmas is saved and Scrooge and Santa exchange gifts: For Scrooge, a set of bells with their old company name.. and for Santa? a garage door opener. While Santa’s confused turns out.. it’s to turn off the traps. He’s welcome any time.. just use the front door. Cue a big hug, and Webby narrating us out as Scrooge wishes everyone a merry christmas once again letting people into his heart.  I have.. the approirate response to that. 

Final Thoughts: Excellent, easily one of the best of the season, the series and possibly of chirstmas show episodes all together, we shall see when I put together my list. And given how utterly excellent Last Christmas already is, it was hard to top.. but they did it. This was a warm, wonderful special that gets to the heart of christmas.. and really why I LIKE santa so much. For all the comercailsim around him.. he’ s a kind generous man who gets kids to belivie in magic for a while, wants nothing in return , with the offering of cookies just there to be nice and thank him for being a good person, and just wants best for people. He’s what’s best about christmas rolled into a person. And the series gets that and makes him the kindest guy around. It ends up being a story abotu Scrooge learning the meaning of christmas, an irony that’s not lost on me, but in a way that’s diffrent and unique from last time and works just as well. It’s just a warm wonderful epsiode with plenty of great gags and adventure and a beautiful, unique story at it’s core that could only be told here with tihs cast and this version of scrooge and that’s what makes it so damn magical. Easily a fantastic note to go out on.  Next time on Ducktales: I don’t know! Next time this blog covers ducktales: We’re going back a few seasons to the only episode i’ve never seen, not even a little bit. It’s the treacherous summit of mt neverest!  Until then, if you liked this review, reblog and all that good stuff, follow for more ducks, and if there’s an episode of any show you want me to cover, my cyber monday sale is still going till midnight central, and even past that if you get in a liittle past it, so you can comission a review of any episode for just 3 bucks right now, 5 if you get to this review after monday. So spend if you have it.. and if you don’t.. happy holidays to you anyway. Have a wonderful season. 

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG183!

- I’m not sure I can manage to put it into words quite right but: sounds-wise, this episode’s domain didn’t feel mind-blowingly new, it wasn’t something that felt “Oh! I’ve never heard something like this before!”? But the echoes, grinding and scratching were timed so well, giving so much strength and gravitas to the conversations, that it perfectly scratched an itch. I could hear that there was something close to Jon and Martin, that it was big, and mostly deserted, that it stood eerily in the overall wasteland, that they were two people alone against a whole world, a whole machine with gears and a mechanism ready to crush anyone?

- I LIVE for artist!Martin giving his commentary and overall throwing shade at the Fears’ taking of artistic licence liberties:

(MAG183) MARTIN: Oh, bugger off! ARCHIVIST: Everything all right? MARTIN: Oh, no, what e–, what e–, what even is that? It, it’s like Escher ate a bad cathedral and threw up everywhere.

He had shown interest in the Stranger’s carousel upon learning that the statements had been a poem, but shots fired for that tower, uh.

- Jon and Martin were so cute starting the episode! Their quick banter was adorable!

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: It’s a building. A tower. … In a sense. MARTIN: Oh yeah? A–and what sense might that be? ARCHIVIST: [FAINTLY OMINOUS] … The Tarot sense. MARTIN: [SPLUTTERS WITH LAUGHTER] Really? ARCHIVIST: Wha–? No? Sorry, it… felt like a good line…! MARTIN: No, no, it was, I just… I dunno, I… [FOND EXHALE] You did the look, and…! It’s fine, sorry.

Martin being IN LOVE and appreciating Jon’s cuteness! The return of Jon showing that he’s an occult/horror nerd! We had seen in season 2 that he was generally very knowledgeable about anything related to the supernatural, and in season 4 that he was into Neil Lagorio’s movies, I’m happy to get another trace of it!

(MAG076) MELANIE: So I came here to dig a bit deeper. ARCHIVIST: Really? Our… our library is extensive, but it’s hardly focused on the Second World War. MELANIE: No, but the most detailed description of the crash that I could find came from the report of a man called William W. Hay. And later in life William Hay… ARCHIVIST: Became a noted occultist, whose memoirs and researches were only ever published in a heavily edited form. And we have unexpurgated copies. MELANIE: Exactly.

(MAG136) ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] Statement ends. Hm. Neil Lagorio… You ever see any of his work? DAISY: No. Not really into films. ARCHIVIST: Oh, they were… Well, let’s just say that it’s not a complete shock there was something unnatural to them. Didn’t know we had copies in the Institute, though; let alone original cuts. [CHUCKLE] Records indicate they [PAPER RUSTLING] ended up in… Artefact Storage. DAISY: Probably best that they stay there. ARCHIVIST: … Yeah. Yes, of course.

But SOB x2 since:

* Tower-in-the-tarot-sense meaning ominous stuff… and change. (While Jon knew they would soon come face to face with the choice to take the route through Martin’s domain.)

* Crying over the fact that we’ve seen and learned quite a few outside-of-the-job aspects of Jon this season, comparatively to the previous ones? He’s cute! He’s making jokes! He mentioned his student days a bit in MAG165, and visiting Upton House as a kid in MAG180! And this is happening when the world has been forked over and Jon&Martin certainly won’t survive together past MAG200, which means they have at most seventeen episodes together remaining. Martin, and we alongside him, are seeing so many different, more casual aspects of Jon, and it’s at the end of things…

- I really like how information bounced around in this episode? It felt even more dynamic than usual, quickly shifting depending on some reaction, or going from an association to another:

(MAG183) MARTIN: What, what’s the deal, though? Parts of it almost look like– ARCHIVIST: The Institute. MARTIN: Yeah…! ARCHIVIST: Yes. [INHALE] It makes sense, after all it was… built on the ruins of what Robert Smirke constructed…! MARTIN: Smirke? … What, no! But, but, surely he’s– ARCHIVIST: Dead, yeah, I mean, yes. [CHUCKLING] Very much so! This place is… an homage, shall we say. A monument. To him, and those like him, who tried to… categorise the world with themselves at the centre. In so doing, constructed the architecture of its suffering…!

Ohohoh about Martin feeling like the tower looked a bit like the Institute, and Jon drawing similarities through Smirke – the Institute being built on the ruins of a Smirke building, and the current domain being dedicated to people like him. The Institute is coming closer and weighing on their minds, isn’t it? I really like that Martin immediately worried about Smirke potentially being alive-ish, since:

(MAG138) MARTIN: “The Eye has marked me for something, of this I have no doubt. My… humble hope is that it may be a swift death, an accidental effect of your own researches, which I once again implore you to abandon. It is likely too late for me, but I will not…” [PAPER RUSTLE] Uh… [INHALE] The, hum… The letter ends there. Uh… Ap–apparently Robert Smirke was found collapsed in his study that evening, dead of, uh… [FLIPPING THROUGH PAPERS] Apoplexy. Mm. I–I don’t know how the letter reached the Archives, I mean… Well, I can guess, but…

… he had read Smirke’s last words before he died. (But Martin has seen enough by now to know that there is always a risk for people to not have actually died; on that front, we’re safe, Jon confirmed! Loving Jon’s chuckle: ah yeah, no, Smirke, “very much so” dead from Jonah.)

(Also loved the “[those] who tried to categorise the world with themselves at the centre” shade: yep! That’s West-Eurocentrism and Smirke’s little gang for you!)

- About the way the world works now since the Change, I’m curious about Jon’s wording as “the architecture of [the world’s] suffering”, since it’s echoing the title of Smirke’s statement, “The Architecture of Fear”: my understanding is that right now, the world is mostly running on a loop of people’s fears => feeding and shaping the landscape => which hurts people by turning those realised fears against them => squeezing the fear out of them => feeding the landscape, etc.

What is quite curious is the status of Smirke’s taxonomy in the current world. Jon went off on a rant about how Smirke and people who attempted to classify had been wrong all along because it was meant to fail… while he himself has persistently been using the very same classifications during this very season:

(MAG166) ARCHIVIST: Look, we can talk about it later, we’re– coming to a… “domain of The Buried”, and [STATIC RISES] I would really rather… […] God, I hate The Buried. [DEEP BREATHS] … End recording.

(MAG172) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] “Knowing”, “seeing”… i–it’s not the same thing as… understanding. Every time I try to know what The Web’s plan is, if it can even be called a plan, I see… a hundred thousand events and causes and links, an impossibly intricate pattern of consequences and subtle nudges, but I–I can’t…! … I can’t hold them all in my head at the same time. There’s no way to see the “whole”, the, the point of it all. I can see all the details, but it doesn’t… provide… context or… intention. I suppose The Web doesn’t work in knowledge, not in the same way.

(MAG173) MARTIN: That’s the avatar for this place? ARCHIVIST: Callum Brodie, thirteen years old. He guides the children through their fears of The Dark.

(MAG174) ARCHIVIST: I’m not entirely sure what you were expecting, it’s The Vast. The clue is in the name! MARTIN: Yes, all right…!

(MAG176) MARTIN: … Besides, I thought The Hunt was meant to make you go faster. ARCHIVIST: Depends on the type of pursuit. [INHALE] Besides, the chase isn’t… really the point of this particular place.

(MAG177) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] Bad therapists. Let’s just say it’s the fear of bad therapists, filtered through The Spiral. BASIRA: That’s… a lot more nuance than I’ve gotten used to since everything went wrong. ARCHIVIST: Yes, well. The Spiral is nothing if not insidious. […] You just heard what The Spiral does to people, you can’t… trust her.

“constructed the architecture of [the world’s] suffering” kind of implies that they did manage something, even if it doomed the world? Is it specifically about Jonah using the division into 14 in his incantation? We’ve seen that that one had limitations, since The Extinction also got there anyway… But at the same time, true that at this point, we would still force-apply Smirke’s labels to anything anyway.

- Loved Jon sounding awfully pedantic and (fake-)poetic at the same time:

(MAG183) MARTIN: [SIGH] Bit of a mouthful. ARCHIVIST: Would you prefer I described it as a… “cascading recursion of shifting arrogance and hubristic dead-ends”? [STATIC RISES] [THE DOOR CREAKS OPEN] [CONSTANT HIGH-PITCHED FREQUENCY] HELEN: I would. [FOOTSTEPS] [THE DOOR SHUTS] [STATIC FADES] MARTIN: [SIGH] Hello, Helen.

AND HELEN HAVING THE BEST ENTRANCES. It also cleared up something for me (unless I had already realised it and forgot about it since then): the high-pitched sound we hear when she’s around is the mark of Helen and Michael, not of the corridors – if the door is open or characters are inside of the hallways, we’ll hear some of the usual crackling static, but we heard it rise when Helen arrived and fade when the door shut behind her (and same thing with her departure, it was briefly heard when she opened the door).

- Shots fired, MARTIN PLEASE:

(MAG183) MARTIN: [SIGH] Hello, Helen. Might have guessed you’d be into weird architecture. Very much your area of expertise, no? HELEN: Hmm, depends! Would you describe “petulant poet” as your area of expertise? I am weird architecture.

And Helen went equally incisive on that one, but also UUUUUH WAS IT A SPECIFIC REFERENCE TO PETER’S COMMENT ABOUT MARTIN…

(MAG158) MARTIN: I’m… saying no. I refuse! Game over. [KNIFE CLATTERING ON THE GROUND] PETER: Martin, this is not the time for petulance; there are bigger things at stake, here.

This was the only time someone referred to Martin as (acting) petulant… I mean, Helen not missing one second of MAG158 wouldn’t be surprising (she did tell Jon at the end of MAG157 that she would be enjoying the show), but ;; Little chilling when remembering Elias-Peter-Martin in the Panopticon and Martin refusing to kill Jonah there…

- I was right to suspect that Helen might have been unable to know where Jon&Martin were over their stay at Upton House, and that she wouldn’t be pleased about it!

(MAG183) HELEN: Anyway, where have you been? I’ve been looking for you, but you both just vanished. ARCHIVIST: Aaah… Right, I see…! HELEN: I was so looking forward to catching up after that whole Basira and Daisy thing, but then, pfft! You both disappear. I’d be very keen to know how you managed that little trick. MARTIN: Why, it caught us by surprise too, I mean, we, we actually ended– ARCHIVIST: [FIRMLY] We found somewhere to rest. That’s all. MARTIN: … Oh, yeah. Ah, yes, hm. HELEN: Fine. Be like that. I can appreciate the particular pleasure of a kept secret. ARCHIVIST: I’m sure you can.

* Salesa’s zone seems to be protected as long as you don’t physically find it? I wonder how Annabelle managed to find it, still, since Jon only become aware of that blind spot when they arrived nearby; how did she become aware of it in the first place? Did it feel like a hole in the world’s web?

* Awww for Jon keeping the secret and conveying to Martin that they should keep quiet about it ;w;

* AHAHAHHAHA for Jon’s “aaah”, which was absolutely a mischievous grandpa sound. Jon ready to cause trouble, with a smug smile on his face.

- … I love how Helen could observe that the dynamic of the exchange was slipping out of her control (Jon&Martin knew something that she didn’t, didn’t feel threatened by her, and Jon was amused to keep it out of her reach) and immediately tried to go for the throat again:

(MAG183) HELEN: Anyway. Such a shame about Basira and Daisy. I was really rooting for them to make up. MARTIN: [SPLUTTERS] Since when? What happened to– I mean, how did you put it… a, “a quick shot to the back of her head, and then back in time for tea”, or whatever?

Martin: Forgive and forget? NO, RESENT AND REMEMBER AHAHAHAHAH.

Direct reference to the fact that Helen indeed ~offered her door to Basira~ to quickly get to Daisy and execute her:

(MAG177) HELEN: I can offer a shortcut. Take you right to that murder machine you call a partner. MARTIN: Basira… Jon can’t go through Helen’s doors, we, we couldn’t come with you. HELEN: Basira is a strong, independent woman. She doesn’t need you two holding her hand. Anyway, it’ll be dead quick. Two minutes, door-to-door, quick shot to the back of Daisy’s head, and we’ll be home before you know it!

Laughing that Martin added the tea mention (Martin, you single-track minded tea-aficionado), but I’m glad that he remembered it full well to throw it in her face; it wasn’t even a personal attack towards Martin, it was something Helen tried to do to Basira, I’m glad that Martin is still absolutely offended about it ;w;

- I felt like Jon and Helen had two definitions of “what we want”: Helen potentially talking about quick, short-term wants (even if they turn out to be self-destructive), while Jon was more about well-thought decisions and choices?

(MAG183) HELEN: [EXASPERATED SIGH] Oh, give over. I was obviously just prodding her, trying to make a point. She didn’t want to kill her. ARCHIVIST: What we want doesn’t matter much these days. HELEN: Oh, [RASPBERRY NOISE], nonsense. What we want is the only thing that matters these days. And Basira wanted to join Daisy. ARCHIVIST: She made her choice. HELEN: With your assistance. ARCHIVIST: It was still her choice. HELEN: [SIGH] What a waste. ARCHIVIST: No. [INHALE] It wasn’t.

There have been a lot of discussions about “choices” and “wants” throughout the series (with big moments in MAG092, MAG117 and MAG147), so it felt a bit nice that Jon seems to have reached a point where he could draw a line between both? Jon, Martin and Basira didn’t want this world, don’t want the way it operates and what it inflicts on them; it doesn’t mean they can’t weigh options and make specific decisions – Basira, to honour her promise to Daisy and kill the monster she had become; Jon, to not smite for revenge (and Martin, to face his own domain).

I LOVE HOW JON WAS FIRM ABOUT BASIRA’S CHOICE MATTERING ;w; It once again reminds me of Martin’s line to Simon: “I think our experience of the universe has value. Even if it disappears forever.” (MAG151); the little things, the individual existences and choices, their own stories, still having value in the expanse of the universe…

- Martin! It’s a delight to see him so firm, having faith in Basira although he’s been so worried for her:

(MAG179) ARCHIVIST: Martin, this is what she needs. MARTIN: No, no! I–it’s…! BASIRA: It’ll… MARTIN: It’s completely– […] … We’re not doing this. BASIRA: [SOFTLY] Martin. Please. [SILENCE] MARTIN: … [SIGH] You’d better look after yourself. BASIRA: I will.

(MAG180) ARCHIVIST: How are you doing? About… MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I’m… I don’t know. I’m–I’m not sure how to feel; just… pressing on, you know? ARCHIVIST: I do. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Do you think she’ll be okay without us? ARCHIVIST: Oh, she’s made it this far. MARTIN: … Yeah. I just worry.

(MAG183) MARTIN: Basira is… She’s going to be okay.

And then pointing out that he was involved in the discussion too and that he wanted to know what the other two knew already and not be kept out of the loop:

(MAG183) HELEN: Oh. Is she? Do you want me to tell you what she’s been up to while you were “resting”? Where she is right now? ARCHIVIST: You don’t need to. I already know. MARTIN: I don’t. [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: She’s currently moving through, uh… “The Void.” [STATIC FADES] Hungry shadows drifting in the dark. She’s been there a long time now, struggling to find the path. MARTIN: But she will? ARCHIVIST: I think so. HELEN: Yeah, she does always seem to manage, doesn’t she? It’s impressive. Although a little bit… tempting at times.

I’m not absoooolutely sure about Basira’s status: is “the void” a space between domains, or is it a Dark domain that Basira is having trouble finding the exit of, since unlike Jon, she can’t just “know” the paths? I suspect the latter but I’m not 100% certain. If it’s indeed The Dark, that’s a close to home one for her, since she had a few brushes with it over the course of the show – the Section 31 expedition to save Callum Brodie, leading to Rayner’s death and Basira’s decision to quit the police, her research to find out more about the People’s Church of the Divine Host (as shown in season 3) and her overall worry about them, which allowed Elias to convince her that they would attempt another ritual in Ny-Ålesund, leading to her discovering what “Rayner” was and travelling there with Jon, finding Manuela and the Dark Sun mid-season 4…

;ww; for Jon having faith in Basira, too… And the fact that once again, Basira has it a bit rougher than Jon&Martin (Jon had already told Martin that it had been a difficult journey for her, before they reunited). Helen does have a point that Basira seems to manage to find her way out in general: she had successfully escaped The Unknowing on her own, she had survived The Flesh’s attack on the Institute, she had pursued Daisy in the apocalypse… Basira has already gone through Helen’s corridors (offscreen at the end of MAG143, to return to the Institute), I’m YIKES about Helen implying that it would be “tempting” to grab her. (… But at the same time, why hasn’t she done it already, if she is capable of doing it? It might be a bit more complicated than that?)

- … I love Martin, I love that he was RIGHT to point out that Helen had just waltzed in to try and steer chaos:

(MAG183) MARTIN: Look, Helen, what do you even want? Okay, you keep turning up like a bad penny and, honestly, it, it seems like it’s… it’s just to be a dick! HELEN: Gasp! I am trying to be friends, Martin. Forever is a long time. And I occasionally like to have some company that isn’t… screaming. MARTIN: … What do you even think friendship is? HELEN: I dunno, do I? The only personhood I have is from someone I ate.

It feels like Helen has REALLY tried hard to make up for the weeks(?) she couldn’t find Jon and Martin? She went extra-hard on them: first with Basira, then implying to Jon that he had manipulated her into killing Daisy, then pointing out that Basira was not safe at the moment and still at risk of falling prey to other Fears (including herself), then trying to mock Martin about his domain, trying to guilt-trip Jon for not having told him about it yet, and when she finally managed to get Martin shocked and upset… job done, byebye.

Is it that she’s trying to get Jon so riled up he ends her? “Helen” used to like Jon and to turn to him (MAG101: “Helen liked you so… there’s a lot to consider. But I will help you leave.” / MAG115: “Before, talking to you made Helen feel better.”), before she was absolutely Down With Doors And Murders (MAG146: “We do what we need to do when it comes to feeding, don’t we? … Don’t we, Archivist?”), is it a remnant of that? Or is it really just an attempt at confusing Jon and Martin further, feeding from them Spiral-style?

- More about Martin’s domain later, but the reveal was BRUTAL, and yet not coming out of nowhere; we knew he had one, we knew he had almost been trapped in the Lonely house in MAG170 and the question was whether or not it had been (/was still) his domain once Martin got freed from it, but there was also the question of how Martin was able to walk in the apocalypse unharmed (was it due to Jon’s proximity, Martin’s connection to The Eye as an assistant, etc.), and Basira’s own status after Daisy’s death… so, yay! Answers and clarifications, and as usual, nothing feeling like a plot-twist, just things that make sense, and that we already had most of the information about!

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: Martin… MARTIN: Are there people, Jon? ARCHIVIST: What? MARTIN: Are there people in my domain? ARCHIVIST: Not many. [SILENCE] MARTIN: Do you need to do your… your thing? Make a statement about whatever’s going on in there? … I could use a moment to think. ARCHIVIST: Sure thing. Yeah, I–I’ll… [INHALE] Yeah. [EXHALE] [BAG JOSTLING] [DEPARTING FOOTSTEPS]

Sobbing a bit about Martin’s priorities (“Are there people, Jon?”) and Martin asking for a quick me-time. It wasn’t ice-cold, Martin turned it into something useful for both of them (expecting that Jon would have to give his statement anyway), but aouch, he sounded absolutely shattered inside while blank on the surface…

- Yes, yes, yes, reminder that Smirke’s categorisation is arbitrary and just like the Doctor’s theory, sometimes just doesn’t work, because it’s trying to force-apply rules and a classification over something that resists it (and because the classification is not perfect from the start), but hey, that’s most theories and classifications out there anyway, so: Escher reference, the functioning of the Tower reminding me of the Great Twisting, and the reasonings sometimes reminding me of Gabriel’s work (MAG126), plus Helen popping by – it was Spiral stuff, right?

Well! I felt like it looks like Spiral, but the Doctor’s fears by themselves:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: “But it is not the fall that terrifies him, not the pain of the impacts, but the fact that none of them should be there. That it doesn’t make sense, and it must make sense, there must be a system, there must be, because if there isn’t– [THE BODY LANDS WETLY] He lands with a heavy smack onto rough limestone, and lies still, his body twisted and broken. He knows it will knit itself back together, slowly, painfully, as it always has before. But the thought of starting over, of composing yet another theory, fills him with a deep dread.”

… are more something I would identify as Eye (fear of a truth) and Hunt (fear of having to return to the start, to have to elaborate a new theory from scratch, again and again, of being trapped forever)?

It was really reminiscent of Smirke thinking back over his life, his hubris and the pride of being the one who would have found the answer, to the point where he would reject reality if it didn’t match his taxonomy (refusing to, well… do what you do with a theory: change, or evolve and perfect it when its flaws are pointed out):

(MAG138, Robert Smirke) “I believed then, as I still believe now, that these places I saw were the Powers themselves, expressed in their truest form, far more entirely than any ‘secret book’ can claim. And if, as I came to believe, the Dread Powers were themselves places of a sort, then surely with the right space, the right architecture, they could be contained. Channelled. Harnessed. So yes. Hubris. Not simply in that, I suppose, but in believing that those I brought into my confidence shared my lofty goals. […] Would you have me separate The Corruption between insects, dirt and disease? To, to divide the fungal bloom from the maggot? No. No, I… stand by my work. And thus, we must conclude that the only explanation is a new Power, created from what was once others, yet also distinct. And if such change is possible, how then can any “true balance” be achieved through immutable, unchanging stone…?”

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: “If they are feeling very confident, they may lean down and stretch a curious tongue beyond their chipped teeth and rotten gums, desperate to add another sense to their observances – more evidence to support their declaration of what the world must be. […] They must simply study and learn, if they are to escape the labyrinth. They will be the first to escape. The one who sits in the central chamber cannot remember his name. But he knows that people called him “doctor”. He made sure of that; to ignore it would have been the greatest disrespect, and he will not be disrespected. […] He knows, for a fact, that this is the central chamber because he is the one sat here. […] They’ll all remember him forever, the first to escape the Monument. His name will be hallowed with the greats: Doctor, uh… Doctor…”

Same old pride, Leitner knew that well too (MAG080: “But I think, in my heart, I dreamed of my work becoming known. That ‘The Library of Jurgen Leitner’ would stand as a symbol of courage and protection. Hubris.”) and Gerry didn’t have many nice things to say about it (MAG111: “Flamsteed, Smirke, Leitner. Idiots who destroyed themselves chasing a secret that wasn’t worth knowing.”). Loved how the statements came for Smirke’s life and was absolutely ruthless about it – but maayyybe a bit too ruthless, even? Jon didn’t express much sympathy for “fools like Smirke” either, and this is a rare case in season 5 where I find that the statement was a bit lacking in empathy for… people who were technically victims. I mean! Insufferable pedantic academics sure are a type, they’re really not having the worst life out there, but it makes me feel a bit weird, with season 5’s overall tone, that the episode had that vibe of “serves them well, they’re insufferable” about people who were technically still trapped in a domain and suffering from it?

… I still laughed a lot about the Doctor vs. Professor rivalry and how they solved their argument:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: “The doctor that lies on the floor has recovered, just enough to laugh. ‘You’re still working on mineral theory? How painfully outdated.’ A flash of genuine fear crosses the face of the professor at this dismissal, before he picks up his chunk of granite, and begins to smash the doctor’s head in, yet again.” [SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PEER REVIEW]

Academia unleashed.

(- OKAY, I HAVE TO CONFESS that when the character could only remember his title as “Doctor”, with Smirke having been mentioned earlier, my mind just jumped to Doctor Fanshawe… ;; He had left a strong impression on me, okay.)

- ;w; Over the fact that Martin got his me-time and that it was enough: he was clearly tense, but he came back with direct questions and knew what he wanted cleared up…

(MAG183) MARTIN: Finished? ARCHIVIST: Yes. MARTIN: Good. … I need you to explain something to me. ARCHIVIST: All right.

- I can’t believe that Martin Global Heartthrob Blackwood made The Eye FALL FOR HIM too:

(MAG183) MARTIN: How do I have a domain? That doesn’t make any sense. ARCHIVIST: It’s like I said. [INHALE] Everything here is either watcher, or watched. MARTIN: [SIGH] Subject or object, yes, I know, we’ve been over this. ARCHIVIST: Well, you’re a watcher, Martin. You worked for the Institute, you read statements, The Eye is… fond of you. You’re not getting thrown into your own personal hell, which means…

Jane, Peter, Simon, Elias, Salesa, Annabelle, now Beholding – do you have any limit, Martin.

!! I’m excited over the fact that Martin’s entanglement with Beholding stuff was acknowledged! Comparatively, Melanie had read 2 statements (MAG086, MAG106) and Basira 1 (MAG112). Meanwhile, Martin had read 12; plus, although Tim, Melanie, Martin and Basira had taken (… or tried to take) one live statement each in MAG100, Martin had also taken 3 additional full statements:

MAG084, Adrian Weiss (Corruption) MAG088, Enrique MacMillan (Buried) MAG090, Ross Davenport (Flesh) MAG095, Luca Moretti (Slaughter) MAG098, Doctor Algernon Moss (Dark) MAG100 (live), Lynne Hammond (Desolation) MAG104 (live), Tim Stoker (Stranger) MAG108, Adonis Biros (Lonely) MAG110, Alexia Crawley (Web) MAG134, Adelard Dekker (Extinction) MAG138, Robert Smirke (Eye) MAG142 (live), Jess Tyrell (Buried, Eye) MAG144, Gary Boylan (Extinction) MAG149, Judith O’Neill (Extinction) MAG151 (live), Simon Fairchild (Vast) MAG156, Adelard Dekker (Extinction)

With Simon highlighting that Beholding had compelled him through Martin:

(MAG151) SIMON: Hm! No wonder I’m so sympathetic to The Lonely. You know: this really is a place for self-discovery, isn’t it? [CHUCKLE] “Statement ends”, I suppose! MARTIN: Uh… I’m sorry? SIMON: Oh! Nothing, just my own hubris. I should have known. When I came here, I said to myself: “Simon,” I said, “you’re going to answer this young man’s questions, but you’re not going to give The Watcher a statement. You’re better than that.” But it’s a hard one to resist, isn’t it? You get in the flow of talking about yourself, and it all just… tumbles out. MARTIN: Mm, does seem like it.

Elias might have been eyeing him as back-up Archivist, too (although since then, we’ve learned of his bet with Peter which would have already been running at the time – it might have been that Elias mostly wanted to ensure that Martin wouldn’t die during the Unknowing because he’d be needing him afterwards):

(MAG116) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] What about Martin? MARTIN: What about me? ARCHIVIST: He should stay behind. MARTIN: What?! ELIAS: Really. MARTIN: Why? ARCHIVIST: Too many people might attract attention. MARTIN: No, no, I can help, I’ve been reading the statements! ELIAS: … Quite right, er, probably best he does stay behind. BASIRA: What, so you have a backup if Jon doesn’t make it? ELIAS: I’m sure that won’t be necessary.

Martin did a lot of research, read these statements aloud, took live statements, was hinted as a potential replacement; tape recorders have spawned around him like they do with Jon, even outside of statements, and Martin had been exceptionally kind towards them on multiple occasions; there had been that little moment of Martin somehow knowing that Jon was alive back in season 3 (MAG088: “It’s the not knowing, you know? I mean, Jon’s still alive. Not sure why, but I’m sure of that. But Sasha, I…”), shortly before we had learned about Jon’s own Knowing powers developing; we don’t know why and whether that was Beholding or The Web or something else, but Martin had been able to know how to get Jon out of the Coffin in season 4:

(MAG134) PETER: What does puzzle me, though, and I mean that genuinely, is… why you were piling tape recorders onto the coffin, while Jon was in there. [PAUSE] It’s a question, Martin, it’s– it’s not an accusation. MARTIN: I don’t know. And I just… felt like it might help. He’s always recording, I thought… it–it might help him… find his way out. PETER: Interesting. Were you compelled? MARTIN: [SULLEN] … I don’t know. … M–maybe? I–I, I definitely wanted to do it… PETER: But? MARTIN: I’m… I’m not sure where the idea came from. PETER: You should watch out for that. Could be something dangerous. MARTIN: Sure.

… And Peter’s whole plan relied on the fact that Martin was initially touched by Beholding:

(MAG134) PETER: [BREATHES] I’m still working out some of the kinks. But I believe I have a plan. However, it requires this place, and it requires someone touched by The Beholding. Elias was, perhaps unsurprisingly, unwilling to help.

(MAG158) PETER: It’s quite simple, really…! I want to use the powers of this place to learn about The Extinction: what it’s doing, where it’s manifesting. Then we can stop it. MARTIN: And you need me for this? PETER: Correct! Without a connection to The Eye, any attempt to use it would likely end… very messily indeed! But thankfully, it just so happens that you hold such a connection. MARTIN: So that’s it… Both “lonely” and “watching”. PETER: You must admit you’re the perfect candidate. MARTIN: I suppose I am.

Beholding baby!! Now coming in an additional Lonely flavour.

- Mmmmmmmm… The way Jon put it, it seems that Beholding is consciously rewarding its servant and:

* It could be Jon trying to make sense of something else, that he doesn’t understand? Gertrude didn’t think that the Fears were able to “think” at all (MAG145: “Sometimes, I think They understand us as… little as we understand Them. We don’t think like They do.” “I’m not actually convinced they “think” at all.”); reward&affection could be primitive enough feelings for a blob of terrors to work out (Martin fed Beholding as an assistant by reading statements => Beholding grants him things in the hope of getting fed even more?), but I don’t know, I can’t help but wonder if this is just Jon humanising the Fears a bit too much? It’s curious that Beholding got “fond” of Martin precisely when Jon himself fell in love with him – could Jon’s feelings have influenced Martin’s position in the apocalypse, could Jon be having a bit more power over the landscape than he realises?

* … If Beholding is rewarding its servants, that doesn’t bode well for Elias. WELL, no, I mean: it might mean that Elias is having a Great Time as a Beholding acolyte, which means it doesn’t bode well for my desire to see Elias get absolutely wrecked and wrong about being the “king of a ruined world”. I want him to have miscalculated, damnit! x’D

- I’m having so many feelings over Martin himself being unsure of what he wants, whether it’s better to know or to remain ignorant…

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: It’s like I said. [INHALE] Everything here is either watcher, or watched. MARTIN: [SIGH] Subject or object, yes, I know, we’ve been over this. ARCHIVIST: Well, you’re a watcher, Martin. You worked for the Institute, you read statements, The Eye is… fond of you. You’re not getting thrown into your own personal hell, which means… MARTIN: [QUIETLY] That one of them belongs to me. But that’s… Ho–how can I be a “Watcher”? I, I didn’t even know it existed! ARCHIVIST: But you’ve suspected for a while now, haven’t you? MARTIN: Maybe? But that’s not “watching”! ARCHIVIST: Do you want me to tell you about it? MARTIN: No. … Yes. N–no, no, I don’t know, I don’t know. [SIGH]

Is it a remnant of his discussions with Tim in season 3? He’s basically gone the reverse of Tim about it:

(MAG098) MARTIN: Y’know, I think he thinks that the distance keeps us safe, you know? Like, like, if he just makes sure that we’re not involved, we’re somehow fine. TIM: He’s an idiot. Look, we didn’t know what that door was, and it still trapped us. Ignorance isn’t going to save anyone. MARTIN: No, I mean, you’re right, I guess.

Martin has seen enough to know now that ignorance doesn’t protect anyone, but also that knowledge can be used as a weapon – that the horrors are just made to hurt. I feel like, in his situation, noping out of Jon’s statements was one of his only ways to assert his boundaries (which had been denied from him — and from others — for a long time)? But here, the situation is different; it’s about Martin’s own involvement, he knew the knowledge would hurt anyway… but it’s also his load to bear? To at least face what is happening, since he’s benefitting from it, since he’s been made complicit (without ever wanting to)? It still goes perfectly with the exploration of exploitative and oppressive systems: Martin, unknowingly and unwillingly inflicting hurt, still being in a better situation than others… while not being directly responsible for it, not wanting to benefit from it. It really makes me want to see Jon&Martin find a way to reverse or improve things, to get people out of the domains or giving them the keys to escape them, and I don’t know if I can even hope something about this ;; (On the Jon&Martin front, things are so good; but it still feels so unfair for… everyone else.)

- Martin having a domain and being classified as a “watcher” finally explains why he hadn’t been impacted by the apocalypse since the Change! He had been able to get out of the domains’ grasp even when he wasn’t around Jon (he had fallen behind at the end of MAG163, he wandered around in the Web’s theatre, he left Jon alone for most of the statements), and there was still the question of… how he was still surviving without eating, and at the same time wasn’t (at least as far as we knew) trapped in a domain:

(MAG161) MARTIN: [MIRTHLESS HUFF] What about food? ARCHIVIST: What about it? When’s the last time you thought to eat, o–or even felt hungry? MARTIN: [FAINT] What…? Wha… Uh… I don’t know. ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever is sustaining us now doesn’t need us to eat. MARTIN: That… that can’t be possible– ARCHIVIST: It’s a new world, Martin, the natural laws are whatever they want them to be. And I suspect they don’t much care to keep humanity fed and watered.

I was wondering if it was Jon’s influence, or Martin being “trapped” in Jon’s domain, and Jon had also alluded to the possibility that they were themselves trapped in their quest towards the Panopticon:

(MAG169) ARCHIVIST: “Free” doesn’t really exist in this place. MARTIN: Apart from us. ARCHIVIST: I suppose. I–in a sense, though… [CHUCKLING] how much of that is because we are trapped in our own quest to– MARTIN: Okay, let’s, let’s not dive into another… ontological debate right now, not here. ARCHIVIST: Fair enough.

And Jon had even specifically told Martin that he had a domain, shortly before Martin got almost imprisoned in the Lonely house:

(MAG167) ARCHIVIST: We all have a domain here, Martin. The place that feeds us. MARTIN: Oh. [PAUSE] Where’s yours? ARCHIVIST: [MIRTHLESS CHUCKLE] I mean, we’re… traveling towards it. MARTIN: Oh! Right, obviously. [CHUCKLING] Duh. Hum… What about me? ARCHIVIST: … Would you… like me to… ? MARTIN: No, no. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. ARCHIVIST: … Okay!

(MAG170) ARCHIVIST: I, I didn’t want to… look too ha–, I–I–I promised I wouldn’t… know you, and, and with the fog in all–all the rooms, I’ll, I just, I lost y–, I… I–I’m sorry. MARTIN: It’s okay. ARCHIVIST: … No, I… I tried to use the… to know where you were, but… it was… You–you were faint. It was so strange, i–it took me so long just to find you…! [RUSTLING OF CLOTHES] MARTIN: Jon, it’s… okay. I promise it’s okay. This place tried, it really did, and honestly I… I wanted to believe it. But I didn’t. ARCHIVIST: This… “place”, i–it… [STATIC] My god…! […] I, I just… I wanted to make sure that you knew what this place was. MARTIN: It’s The Lonely, Jon. It’s me. ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] Not anymore. MARTIN: Hm! No. [LONG INHALE, EXHALE] No…! Not anymore.

And alright, that finally answers it: the Lonely house wasn’t his domain, wasn’t meant to be (but he was susceptible to it, got almost trapped in it as a “watched” although he eventually managed to reject and break free from it). His own domain was elsewhere, and Martin himself was amongst the “watchers” all along; Martin is living a bit like Helen in this apocalypse, having a fixed domain, but able to navigate elsewhere.

Aouch for Martin, since he had been encouraging Jon to smite domains’ rulers as soon as he discovered that Jon could do it; it was already murky territory for Jon himself (if the “avatars” and “monsters” just deserve to die, what about Jon?), it was awful with Callum (Martin himself drew the line at smiting a kid)… but now, we know it was directly including him, too, and that he had been fed through people’s pain all along. No wonder Helen had encouraged the smiting so hard, if she already knew they were kind of neighbours…

… Double-aouch for Jon, because he had offered twice the option for Martin to stay elsewhere, permanently:

(MAG170) ARCHIVIST: M–Martin, if you… did; i–if you wanted to forget… a–all of it, stay here and just… escape. I… I would understand. MARTIN: … N–no…! It’s comforting here, leaving all those… painful memories behind, but… It’s not a good comfort, it’s… I–it’s the kind that makes you fade, makes you… dim and… distant.

(MAG181) ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, I… It would have been nice to stay. MARTIN: [WISTFULLY] Yeah… I’d almost forgotten what it was like, you know? A bit of peace, eh! ARCHIVIST: I mean, you could have… MARTIN: No, don’t say it, Jon. You know I never would. I–I can’t just “forget” about all the people out here! Besides, I’d rather be trapped in a post-apocalyptic wasteland with you than spend one more moment in paradise with her.

And Jon probably didn’t know what Martin’s domain was exactly, back then, since we heard the knowing static kick in when he described the domain in this episode? But he probably knew, already, that Martin having a domain didn’t mean that he belonged to it as a victim, but as a ruler, and that it would hurt Martin so much. (“No one gets what they deserve. Not in this place. They just get whatever hurts them the most! … Even me.”, indeed ;;)

- I AM HAVING SO MANY FEELINGS OVER THE DESCRIPTION OF MARTIN’S DOMAIN…

(MAG183) [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: It’s a small domain. A swirling mix of The Eye and The Lonely. Inhabited by a few lost souls whose fear is not of their isolation or their agonies, but that no-one… will ever know of them. That they shall suffer in silence, and be mourned by nobody. That’s why you can’t really see it. It’s why even if we do travel through it, you won’t be able to see… any of the people trapped there.

… It reminds me so much of what Martin probably experienced in his own flat, when Prentiss besieged him for two weeks and Martin was unable to contact anyone, and nobody came to check on him? Did Martin’s domain grow from his own old fears…?

It also reminds me a bit of Naomi’s brush with The Lonely:

(MAG013) NAOMI: The fog seemed to follow me as went and seemed to swirl around with a strange, deliberate motion. You’ll probably think me an idiot, but it felt almost malicious. I don’t know what it wanted, but somehow I was sure it wanted something. There was no presence to it, though, it wasn’t as though another person was there, it was… It made me feel utterly forsaken.

Overall, the description is extremely… typical from what we’ve seen of The Lonely: there was Naomi’s misadventure, Ethan disappeared and nobody even claimed his backpack (MAG048), Yetunde Uthman had “disappeared a year ago. And nobody noticed” (MAG150)…

(But from that description alone, it doesn’t sound very Beholding, despite what Jon said? I’m curious about the Eye aspect of it…)

- Can’t believe that Martin canonically turns out to be the Lonely Eyes love(hate)child, gdi. It really was a custody battle in MAG158.

- Extra-sad that Jon warned Martin that there was meaning in the fact that Martin didn’t know anything about his domain, and wouldn’t even be able to see people in there… It’s just so cruel, both for them, and for Martin, to learn that he’s been unknowingly contributing to their misery (because they fed him and he didn’t even know about them)?

Pretty sure that Martin will stay with Jon to hear that statement, at the very least ;; (Or could he ask for something more? We’ve seen Jon extracting Breekon’s statement in MAG128, I wonder if he could put something into someone’s head like Elias had done, allowing Martin to give that statement himself…)

- I’m wondering about Jon’s own domain, too, now! He said they were heading towards it, so it’s either the Panopticon, the Institute or the Archives, or a mix of those… or something close to it, on their way to it. If Martin’s domain is a mix of Lonely&Eye, is Jon’s pure Eye? A mix of the 14/15? A Web&Eye mix, given Jon’s own personal fears?

I know that Jonny (lovingly) called out the obsessive classification in this episode through Jon, who went off on a rant about the “neat little boxes”, but he’s still using the Smirke classification this season:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: It’s a small domain. A swirling mix of The Eye and The Lonely.

(AND IN THIS VERY EPISODE… Jon…)

- On the one hand: feeling directly called out by Jon’s rant about how the divisions between avatars/monsters/humans/victims wasn’t and isn’t working, that reality escapes that division because it’s much more complicated than this:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: [HEATED] Avatar isn’t a thing, Martin, it’s not–! It’s just a word. A word used by… fools like Smirke to try and sort everything into neat little boxes, to reduce the messy spray of human fear into a checklist: Human, avatar, monster, victim. Only now, now, there’s a binary. There’s finally a clear dividing line and… [SIGH] Well. I’m sorry you’re not happy with which side you’ve ended up on.

(It felt especially relevant with Callum Brodie: could we really tell that he was an “avatar” when he was still a freshly wounded kid, even if a tormentor himself?)

On the other hand, well, that was still a useful distinction to have to identify servants, and mostly, I’m not extremely convinced by Jon arguing that there is now a Clear BinaryTM in the new world, between the “watchers” and the “watched”, since:

1°) Helen herself explained the dichotomy to Martin (MAG166: “And so, there are now exactly two roles available in this new world of ours: the watcher, and the watched. Subject, and object. Those who are feared, and those who are afraid.”). Given that she mostly tries to confuse them… that’s a red flag.

2��) Despite Jon defending that binary, we’ve run into plenty of examples of things… not fitting into that new classification. He himself acknowledged that Basira’s status wasn’t established yet; we’ve seen Salesa, protected by his camera from the chaos; Jon has been unable to know about Georgie and Melanie, only hypothesising that they might in what-used-to-be-London; Martin, a watcher, could still have fallen prey to another domain… That’s already a lot of special cases around that “clear dividing line”…

3°) Somethingsomethingsomething about how it’s in Beholding’s best interest that Jon believes in a clear, unchangeable, dividing line which serves Beholding’s own interests. If things feel fixed and unchangeable, then there is no point trying to fight against it or find a loophole, right?

Given that a Watcher can get trapped in another domain… does that mean that it could be the case for Jon, too? We got a threat of it in MAG172, when Jon began to give the statement of the following act – if Martin hadn’t interrupted him, would Jon have ever been able to stop?

- Confirmation that Daisy had “trapped” Basira in her Hunt! I was suspecting it since Jon’s first wording:

(MAG164) MARTIN: Is Basira alive? ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] MARTIN: Is she… in… o–one of these places? [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: She’s alive. Out there, not… trapped in a–a hellscape, but… moving. [STATIC DECREASES] Hunting. She’s… she’s looking for Daisy. She’s a few steps behind.

(MAG183) MARTIN: … What about Daisy? Or Basira? ARCHIVIST: Daisy carved through the domains of others. Basira… well… In a very real way she was a sufferer in Daisy’s domain. Maybe the only one. Hunting, following, hurting. Now Daisy’s dead, she’s… free. Sort of. She’s inherited something of Daisy’s ability to move through the other domains. For now, she’ll… feed off what she sees in them. As to whether the Eye ultimately gives her a domain of her own… I don’t know yet.

* And now, Basira seems to have a peculiar status… Is it because she killed Daisy? Is it because she killed the ruler of her domain? Jon explained that a ruler’s death didn’t change much for the domain itself, but maybe it operates differently if a victim kills a ruler (… they become the new ruler?)

* Another reminder that Jon cannot see the future.

* Big Eyeball didn’t immediately give Basira a domain, but Martin got one. I see that favouritism, uh. (Joke, it does make sense given how Martin recorded a lot of statements and had worked at the Institute for years and years.)

- I love how Jon managed to explain why he hadn’t told Martin everything, and how Martin… indeed agreed that Jon had been mostly trying to respect his wishes about not knowing ;; It’s true that Martin had been adamant about not hearing much of the horror:

(MAG163) MARTIN: J–Jon, enough! Enough! [STATIC FADES] … Please don’t tell me these things. ARCHIVIST: I… I’m sorry, I– There’s just so much! There’s so much, Martin, and I know all of it, I can see all of it, and I– It’s filling me up, I need to let it out! MARTIN: I’m sorry, but tough. Okay? Tha–that’s not what I’m here for. [VOICE IN THE DISTANCE: “No… No!”] MARTIN: I can’t be that for you, I–I just can’t.

(MAG167) MARTIN: Oh! Right, obviously. [CHUCKLING] Duh. Hum… What about me? ARCHIVIST: … Would you… like me to… ? MARTIN: No, no. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know. ARCHIVIST: … Okay!

(MAG183) MARTIN: You didn’t tell her any of that. ARCHIVIST: I didn’t think the metaphysics of her place in the fear ecosystem was something she’d be particularly interested in at that moment. MARTIN: Fair. But you seem very reluctant to tell anyone any of this stuff. ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] I did try, right at the start, but y–you didn’t seem to want to talk about it, so I didn’t push it. It’s hard, I have so much knowledge but… how do I decide what people want me to share, and what they never want to know?. MARTIN: I guess that makes sense.

But Martin seems to acknowledge that indeed, Jon had been trying his best about it…

(And now, I wonder if there is still other stuff that Jon hadn’t told Martin, in the same vein…)

- First choice for Martin:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: [SIGH] I was going to bring it up at the crossroads. Inside. I only just realised we would be going this way. […] MARTIN: I guess that makes sense. … So what did you mean about the crossroads? When you were talking to Helen. ARCHIVIST: It’s a maze in there, something between a, a Rubik’s Cube and a Magic Eye picture. I can find us the way through easily enough but… well. For us, there are two ways out. Two paths to London. MARTIN: What are the choices? ARCHIVIST: One would be a long, winding route, we’d see a lot of horrors, but remain… personally untouched. MARTIN: And the other is my domain. ARCHIVIST: Eventually. It’s a shorter path, with faces we know along the way. Including Helen. MARTIN: I thought Helen was her domain, wi–with all the doors and that? ARCHIVIST: She is, but she has a… position within this pseudo-landscape, like any other. MARTIN: O–okay. [INHALE] So, so, I mean, I suppose we’ve got to do that one, right? ARCHIVIST: We don’t have to, w–we–we could just– MARTIN: What, what? We could, we could dodge around it? Take the path of denial? I guess, but… what is it you keep harping on about? “The journey will be the journey”? [SIGH] I mean… It’s pretty obvious that this one is my journey.

! Glad that Martin didn’t hesitate and immediately understood what it was about – that it mattered to do it that way, that Martin had to face it, that this is how this world works. No hesitation about it. He got a demonstration with Basira, but still, he was quick to accept it.

I’m expecting a few episodes before Martin’s domain, so… with the overall rhythm of the season, they might reach the Institute by MAG189? And Hill Top Road during Act III?

- Since Jon mentioned that the path Martin ended up choosing had:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: Eventually. It’s a shorter path, with faces we know along the way. Including Helen.

I wonder about those “faces we know”, since we’re running super-low on ~avatars~. Different options:

* Institute staff. Rosiiiie?

* Melanie&Georgie. A bit unlikely, given that Jon had trouble knowing what was the deal with them, I feel?

* Since Helen will be there, people who gave live statements to Jon and were trapped in his nightmare zoo. I’m mostly thinking about this one, especially since Jon’s “No one gets what they deserve. Not in this place. They just get whatever hurts them the most! … Even me.”… (And if it’s about an internal and metaphorical journey, I feel like having to face people that Jon hurt, first unaware (he didn’t know about the nightmare zoo when he signed to become the Head Archivist), then partially unwilling but still doing it (he felt guilty about it but still hid it, still chose self-preservation instead of warning the others about it), would have its place…)

- In the same fashion, who is trapped in Martin’s domain? Unrelated people? Live statement-givers? (;; I’m thinking of Jess, who had the misfortune of being compelled by Jon and of giving a statement to Martin…)

… Given that it’s confirmed to be a “journey” for Martin too, I can’t help but squint at Jon’s wording, because. “Faces we know”. The only thing we know of Martin’s father is the fact that he looks like Martin… (MAG118: “The thing is, though, Martin: if you ever do want to know exactly what your father looked like… all you have to do is look in a mirror~ The resemblance is quite uncanny. The face of the man she hates, who destroyed her life, watching over her, feeding her, cleaning her, looking down on her with such pity–”)

- I’ll be having Annabelle’s words stuck in my head (ha) for a long time but:

(MAG181) ANNABELLE: Don’t worry, Martin. We’ll meet again. Hopefully when you’re feeling a little bit more… open-minded…! MARTIN: I wouldn’t count on it. ANNABELLE: I would. MARTIN: [SIGH]

… Was it a reference to Martin learning about his own domain and about how the world operates, his place in it? I think that Martin might be even more resolved to turn the world back at whatever cost, now that he knows that he is himself sustained by fear…

(LISTEN, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HOW WEB!MARTIN CAN STILL WI–)

- !! Footage of Martin saying “I love you” for the first time ;w; I love how it was the thing he was certain about, both a slight decompressing joke and a true statement, a reminder that he has faith in Jon, that he has something to cling to?

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: If you’re sure. MARTIN: … I’m sure I love you. [FOOTSTEPS] ARCHIVIST: I love you too. [FABRIC RUSTLES] Let’s go.

(He had mentioned that he was “in love” in MAG170, I’m happy to hear him telling Jon, too!) And the fabric RUSTLED, SO LONG AND SO HARD, AND AT LEAST TWICE!! I love how the tension from right before and after the statement had faded by the end of the episode ;w; Rollercoaster of little emotions…

MAG184’s makes me think of something Leitner had said (more lore about the Fearpocalypse?), and of Vast and Corruption… with very different vibes. If Corruption, and keeping in mind that Jon has announced that they will be encountering “faces [they] know along the way”, it cooould contain Jordan Kennedy, the exterminator from Pest Control…? Especially given that both Jon and Martin had met him (Jon took his live statement, and Martin pleaded offscreen for him to get them the jar of Prentiss’s ashes to comfort Jon).

(Yessss, I am absolutely aware of the irony of still using Smirke’s categorisation after another episode in which we were told again that it is bollocks, but if Jon himself still occasionally labels the domain as one of the 15, so can I ♥)

[purplesurveys]

1169

Do you take lessons for anything? No. I’ve done so in the past, but not at the moment.

Has something really heavy ever fallen on you?  Other than siblings or cousins from when we played together as kids, I don’t think so.

If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear?  I never wear makeup but whenever my friends have used my face as a practice stage (lol) they’ve usually just used natural or nude-ish colors, which I find look okay on me.

Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? It has a sliding door. I’m not sure what material it’s made out of, but I can tell you it’s at least not glass.

If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other?  Cooper does tend to bark and/or whine when he sees me giving more attention to Kimi, but not always. Kimi couldn’t give less of a crap, but this is also because he is 13.

Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? I used to not like being inside my bedroom, especially after the breakup. For a long time it was a place I only associated with crying and breakdowns, so when I was doing the arduous task of starting over I haaaaated staying there because it only hurled me right back to square one. But I’m happy to say that I eventually got better, had enough strength to change the narrative for my room, and now I like being here again :)

Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? My mom just asked me to watch Cooper because he was having the zoomies.

Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn?  Not a big fan of popcorn but if I had to pick a topping, I’d go with cheddar cheese.

Are you lonely?  I’ll feel it sometimes, but it only lasts for a moment or so.

What’s your favorite magazine to read?  Wow I haven’t read a magazine in years.

Do you like pineapple?  I hate it. In all forms. The pizza debate doesn’t even matter to me lmao, I just think pineapple downright sucks.

Have you ever seen fireflies? They used to be common in our village when we first moved in, back when there were only like 3 houses in the neighborhood (we were one of the first to move in here). As more houses were built and the place got more occupied the fireflies gradually lessened until they disappeared altogether.

Have you ever trespassed?  I very vividly remember taking multiple trips to the school cemetery back in grade school (I went to Catholic school and ours had a cemetery below our chapel, where all our deceased nuns were housed...I really shouldn’t be talking about this at 10 PM...). I am 100% sure that was an off-limits area but we went there anyway because we were a naughty group of kids and because no one was guarding the area.

Do you tell your parents where you are going? Yeah; if I live with them, they have the right to know. < Ooh, I’ve never even thought about it this way before but this is a very good point. I’ll second this, haha.

Do you agree with the notion that all people were created equal? Yes.

Do you raise your hand or participate in class? God never. I hid as much as I can and only recited if I was called on purpose.

Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not?  I like the malls that we have. But then again, malls are the only decent public spaces we have - we don’t have public libraries, parks, playgrounds, etc. – so it’s not like I have a choice on where I can go if I want to go out. 

Have you ever purposely hurt an animal?  Yeah I kill bugs when I see them. Soz, I have no feelings for them whatsoever.

Would you ever see a therapist?  I planned to finally do this last year but it just fell through haha and eventually I was able to care for myself too. Now that I’m doing a lot better for the most part, I feel like I’d have no clue what to talk about once faced with one.

Are you afraid of heights?  Only if I had to jump all the way down. But if I ever found myself staying at an extreme height simply to enjoy the view, or if I was ever in one of those towers where the top floor’s floor is made out of glass, I think I would enjoy that.

Are you afraid of the dark?  I always say I’m usually not afraid of the dark, and will only be if I was in a situation that was intended to scare me. I would definitely be afraid of the dark if I was in like an abandoned cave or a haunted house, but I would also find the darkness in my room comforting.

Are you a jealous person?  When I am it’s mostly been in a playful sense and rarely serious.

When is your birthday? April 21st.

What are you listening to right now? My very very old aircon doing its very very loud whirring thing. It’s become a running joke in the family because it is literally SO FUCKING LOUD hahahaha Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing?  As a goody-goody, I can only ever do this to my mom; but yeah, she’s caught me many times.

Are you still friends with someone from kindergarten?  Sure, but I’m not ~close friends with any of them. Just chummy enough to like their photos on social media once in a while or greet them happy birthday. My oldest friend was from Grade 1.

What is the most important thing to you?  Being happy with myself and making sure I don’t miss out on life and opportunities.

Do you like whipped cream?  I can take it or leave it.

Are you close to your mother?  We get along but not close.

Are you close to your father? I’m closer to him in the sense that I would be more comfortable around him, but we’re also not physically or emotionally close. 

Do you walk around bare foot when you're at home? Or do you wear socks?  I am Asian hahaha what do you think?

Do you like chocolate popsicles?  Sure! One would sound lovely right now, actually.

Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume?  Both of the schools I’ve attended don’t have mascots.

Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben?  Great Wall for sure. Sorry but I can’t see myself getting excited over a giant clock, and I’m sure there are other lovely spots in London I’d much rather visit. 

Have you ever written a poem?  Always unsuccessfully. It’s never been my forte.

Would you ever be a tornado chaser?  That’s a thing? Uh...no way??

What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff?  Pizza. And anything, I guess. Barbecue sauce is the bomb.

Your parents tell you that this summer, you get to pick the vacation. Where do you plan to go?  Covid notwithstanding and budget permitting, probably New York City.

What do you think is a good theme for a prom?  I could not care less.

Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? Thankfully, never.

Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor? About what?  You know, I’ve always thought going to the doctor was no sweat until I realized just how nervous I was when I had to book a telemedicine consultation once as part of my job (PR can make you do the most random, out of context things sometimes, I swear haha). I surprised even myself with the reaction I had when I found out I had to do it, and how I felt like declining the offer...I guess I was scared about the possibility of underlying health issues suddenly being unearthed. Your whole life can always get turned upside down in the blink of an eye with just one diagnosis.

Have you ever been to the rainforest?  I’m pretty sure the climate I live in is called tropical rainforest, so I guess yeah.

Have you ever created a website?  Not from scratch. I had always made it under an umbrella website, like Blogspot.

Ever thought about writing a book?  Sure, as a kid.

Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone?  No. Whenever I have dreams of that nature it’s always me or a loved one being killed, but never me doing the killing.

Do you ever make up stories in your head and wish they come true? Yes.

Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose?  Stuffy. It sucks not being able to breathe freely.

Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat?  I super hate sore throat. I already get stomachaches frequently, so even though I know how sucky it can be I feel like the discomfort would be bigger with a sore throat.

Do you think your last relationship was a disaster?  The way it ended was, but it wouldn’t be fair to myself to invalidate the genuine happiness I felt when I was in it.

Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube?  Never.

Who do you think is the easiest to talk to?  Angela.

Would you consider yourself to be emo?  No.

Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal?  Not really, no.

What is your current desktop picture?  It’s just one of the provided desktop photos on my Mac.

Thick or thin blanket?  Thick.

Who are your favorite bands?  Paramore, Coldplay, and Against Me!

How do you mark through your word search puzzles?  Depends on my mood. Sometimes I’ll strike through and sometimes I’ll go ahead and encircle the entire word altogether.

Have you ever sewn something?  I’ve done embroidery...does that count?

What did you eat for dinner last night?  We had breakfast for dinner, actually hahaha so my dad made an omelette, hotdogs, and tapa.

Ever been grounded? If so, for what?  Continued from last night. Yes, I was caught cursing all over Twitter when I was like 11 so my parents cut off my access to all my gadgets for a year or so. Which, in retrospect, is an acceptable consequence for my actions, but we’re also talking about a time when schools were starting to view the internet as a necessity in doing homework and research. I missed out on nearly all my homework for a while, and my mom didn’t buy it when I kept telling her I needed to do my research over the internet. At the same time, she kept demanding why my grades weren’t doing so well when she was the reason they kept being pulled down...so yep, not a very fun time.

Have you seen all of the Jaws movies?  No and I don’t really have the desire to. Doesn’t seem like my kind of movie.

When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer)  Maybe 2 or 3 years ago.

Have you ever drank Cherry Coke? No, I don’t drink any soda.

Have you ever had a black eye?  Nope.

Have you ever eaten a bug?  Not to my recollection, but I would love to try cooked crickets and whatever bug can be prepared and eaten.

Do you like pranking people?  Never; the idea makes me cringe since I never know when it’s considered going too far. I’d rather watch people prank other people.

Did you ever take a cooking class in school?  Yeah, but we were required to take it. We also had some baking sessions, which to me was a lot more fun. I remember having to make macarons and rainbow cake which are both right up my alley, heehee.

Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?  No, idk what that is. I just know people turn everything green on that day lol.

Do you use Skype?  I’ve never used Skype on my own. That’s where I used to talk to my dad for video calls maybe around a decade ago, whenever he was abroad; but I never had my own account. These days I alternate among Microsoft Teams, Google  Meet, or Zoom.

Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches?  I don’t think so, but I did join a few contests on some of those kid’s magazines we used to have...none of which I won.

Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress?  No.

Is your ex sexually attractive to you still?  I haven’t seen her in 5 months, which helps...that said, I simply feel nothing. I’m neither sexually attracted nor not sexually attracted to her.

Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had.  I can think of one but I don’t see the point in still raising it, considering where I am in life right now.

Have you ever cheated on a test?  Yes, once. I hated it.

Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? Nope.

How often does your employer ask you to work overtime?  A few times a week. Sometimes I’ll do it willingly as well just to get the task over with or to save myself some deliverables the next morning. I’m fine with OT-ing tbh; since I work from home, I feel like my time is a lot more flexible.

Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? I read A LOOOOOT as a kid. I was a total bookworm. < Yeah, same. You could always find me bringing a book to school and reading during breaks, even though they technically didn’t allow us to bring any non-academic book. My spark for reading died when I was around 12, same time as when my depression started to kick in, and it never really came back.

When was the last time you were scared?  Someone from the media called me up yesterday VIA LANDLINE to ask a question about a press release I had sent out that day. I usually read up on the materials we have, but I honestly didn’t give a shit about that particular story and didn’t really make an effort to know more about it, so I found myself stumped when he dropped the question. I ended up stalling for a bit before I was able to stutter an answer, so that was scary, but at least he was nice. Also, I hate phone calls.

What’s your favorite song by Rihanna?  KISS IT KISS IT BETTER

Can you speak binary?  No, I never understood it.

Would you rather live somewhere that had hurricanes or tornadoes?  I already do, at least for hurricanes. I imagine I’d be terrified of tornadoes.

Have you ever had a pet that you disliked?  Nooooooo, never. I was never close to Arlee but I still did my best for her to like me, and always fed her whenever my sister would be in her dorm.

When was the last time you saw hail?  Never. Doesn’t happen all that often here, and when it does it’s always in the provinces.

What is on your mind right this second:  I want to spend my remaining time awake reading fanfic (I’m into them again, omg) but I also wanna finish surveys...so I’m doing my best to breeze through this so I can finally look for something to read hahahahaha.

Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)?  Cooper is Cooperino to me. Sometimes I’ll call him Cooperino Cappuccino. Kimi is Kimchi, Kimmerl, Kimberly, The Kimster, and sometimes Lolo, which is grandpa in Filipino heheh.

When was the last time you shaved your legs?  Like 3 or 4 days ago.

Do you ever try free samples at the store?  Nope.

Do you like boys with long hair?  Physical traits don’t matter much to me.

Do you like rootbeer?  I’ve never tried it but I don’t really want to either haha. It smells weird.

What is the best fast food place, in your opinion?  KFC or Taco Bell. Or Jollibee.

Do you have faith in yourself?  Starting to.