#this took waaayyy to long than I expected

[bilolli]

ARTFIGHT MASS ATTACK!

in order from top left:

Quasar Quantum by Cruceria

Eclipse by @cookiiemancer

ENA Moon by @kaotical

Suncatcher by @kandidandi

Moonshoe crab by @thatmooncake

God Sun & Moon by @pillowspace

Candy Sun & Moon by @suntimeswolliw

Game Show Host Sun & Moon by @ALinguine

Royal Attendants Sun & Moon by @pluck-heartstrings

single chibies under the cut!

:D

[threepointseven]

can u do a child reader with diluc !!!like diluc is or dad and we are the dauget=r

Diluc the not so temporary dad

Type- HC’s 🌷

Flowers included!🌼= platonic! Diluc x child! Reader

Note🍀= HIII THIS TOOK WAY TOO LONG IM SORRY AND I GOT SUPER OVERBOARD- BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE!! I LOVE WRITING CHILD READERS SM

Genshin masterlist

💐Your bouquet has been delivered <3💐

now i mean it when i say nobody wouldve expected diluc to actually become someones guardian-dad-thing

Yes he has the looks and the vibe but he is waaayyy to socially awkward to take care of a child

When he first met you he was in a haze with the slightest of irritation, he was signing paper after paper regarding wine importing and stuff, he was alone in the winery. It was a thunderstorm and during the peak of his irritation he heard scrambled, frightened knocks. The knocks were soft yet loud and rushed. He was about to explode but he calmly raced to the door to go scold whoever was knocking at the door but when he opened it ready to go off he saw the small figure of a child, bruised and roughed up, a doll practically hanging onto dear life while it let the rain water splash onto its soft, yet rugged skin

You were crying, sobbing as you tried to speak to the man, your clothes all tattered from what seemed like being attacked and such.

You were blabbering random words, “help” “scared”, you couldnt say anything else and in a whim of confusion he pulled you inside the winery and tried to calm you down. Your tears just kept flowing before he hesitantly placed his hand on your head, patting it softly as he kneeled to your height and tried to squeeze some answers off of you.

You had no idea how to speak, you could only write. And as a response to his hoard of questions you panicked and ended up just passing out.

SOO fast forward to the next day your on his bed as he stares at you worriedly, once your awake you snatched a pen and paper from his desk and wrote out your thank you. You were young and had no huge sense of language so you wrote what you could. “mom died” “Dad threw me out” “told me not to speak” “hit me”

Is all you could scribble on the little notebook. His heart shattered at each reveal and he had the click in his heart to take care of you. Give you the childhood you deserve even if it meant becoming your parent.

Being his child was easy, heaven almost. You easily started trusting him as he treated you better than anyone ever has! He taught you how to speak and let you become confident in using your voice as your father had muted you for half your life.

Hed practice with you and once you ran to him with a nervous look in the middle of a shift in the tavern and said your first sentence. Uncharacteristically he dropped the glass and pat your head lovingly with his eyes widened and a gigantic grin on his face

When kaeya found out he insisted it was temporary, that he would find someone that would actually wanna take care of you as a parent but lets be real here if anyone offered he’d get furious and flip them off

Everyday even if you had gotten older he stayed your unofficial guardian. Holding your hand through every inch in mondstat and giving you a tiny wooden greatsword after you had complained and whined about wanting to fight like him. Hed train with you everyday when you told him firmly you wanted to learn and punched himself in the face internally everytime he knocked you back during training.

He’d always have a cold, disinterested face whenever you talked to him and ranted to him with confused scrambled words of a typical child.

Kaeya and the others would tease him non stop when they caught you running towards him with your arms prepared to crush diluc into a bear hug.

The first time you called diluc dad i kid you not he was about to start sobbing, he actually did need a minuted to go tear up in the bathroom before patting your head and and rolling his eyes with a “you can call me that if youd like.”

We all know he loves it whenever he hears that familiar voice shouting “DAD!!”

He spoils you so so much too???! GDHDNSJ like clothes, jewelry everything like that is by you in a second. As a kid your often attracted to practically anything shiny and yk whats shiny? Extremely expensive gems, and he buys all of em! He loves seeing the smile on your face when he gives you literally anything. Trips outisde of mondstat are also really common being a multi millionaire so he always takes you. Ever since hes claimed you as his child (in his head. He refuses to say it out loud) he takes you everywhere on his business trips

There was this one time where it was fathers day, kaeya told you to do something special for the man and you had no idea what to do but shooed everyone off who offered to help since you wanted to do it yourself so it was special! . You had the little idea to give him a calming, very small thank you party. The entire day he was swamped with meetings, and when he got home he was greeted with your smiling frame, swinging your legs up and down on the chair with a party hat wonkily put on your head that was red. There was a badly made banner in written with “happy fathers day!” In crappy orange paint. The whole banner was a mess, it touched his heart as he walked towards you and noticed the 3 presents and a letter on the table. Each present wrapped terribly but you looked so so proud of it.

You two spent the night eating the cookies you made for him as he read out the letter you wrote with your small figure on his lap. As embarrassing as it is he has the letter laminated and put in a picture frame in his room now. And ever since he opened the small present which contained a beautiful garnet bracelet you picked out yourself he swore to wear it till his death.

[creoterative]

The Lambda Core

Half Life is one of my favorite games, if not THE favorite. My father showed it to me when I was younger (which... he shouldn’t have done because I was waaayyy too young, but my brain didn’t understand it back then, so I just thought it was awesome)

After a lot of work recently, I found a little bit of time to write a crossover fanfiction between Pokémon and Half Life. The rest... well, you’ll have to see.

I’ll be publishing chapter 2 today or tomorrow, depends how fast I’m with work today, but I’m so looking forward to it, there the development will really start.

I still have a little bit of input for you, it’s the story’s prologue. Hope you like it! 

And remember, I’m not a native of the english language, so I apologize for any spelling mistakes or sentences, that don’t really make sense... 

If you like the introduction, you can read the rest of the story here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38083513/chapters/95131066

Flashes appeared in his mind's eye. Bright, painful flashes that reminded him that he was still alive. He tried to blink, but his eyes wouldn't open, as if they had been taped shut. Paul didn't really feel his body, even though it was clear to him in this thick haze of unconsciousness that he still had one somewhere. He probably would have been dizzy at the sight of all the stars swirling around him, good thing he didn't have to see them. This swoon had lasted far too long, it felt like just a little dream after all. Again flashes. And again. Until the figure of a lean man reared up in his head. His slicked hair shone in the non-existent light (was it the lightning?), while his navy blue suit betrayed that he was probably a businessman. His eyes, however, they might have scared him, if Paul was capable of feeling anything at all at the moment. As if in a trance, he floated in the darkness, not knowing what to expect, but the old man there was certainly not here by chance. No, quite the opposite.

„Rise and shine, young Paul. Rise and shine.“

… What?

„Not that I wish to imply that you have been sleeping on the job.“

This voice, it sounded... familar. He wasn't able to get a grasp on the memory, but it surely was there.

„No one is more deserving of a rest.“

Oh really? How long had he been asleep? A day? Two? Fivehundred? Really, a rest was the least he would need.

„And all the effort in the world would have gone to waste, until... well, let's just say, your hour has come again.“

His hour? Again? It was all fuzzy, but deep in his mind, there was a certain part that wanted to remember. It so desperately wanted, he could almost see it. This voice, he knew this man! But who was it...?

„The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So wake up, young Paul. Wake up and smell the ashes.“

It began to get brighter around him. He tried to reach for the light, wanting more than anything to finally get something to see again. Who knew how long he had been stuck in this shithole? The fact was, he had to get out of here as soon as possible. Paul tried to open his eyes again. The stars around him faded, the flashes in his mind's eye diminished and became only small points of light in the distance. It felt like his mind was finally being put back into his body after a long rest. The man gave him a small smirk. His eyes were really not for the faint of heart, but in a strange way they also captivated him. They had something mysterious, mysterious about them. On his right hand, Paul could feel something like metal, cold and with that slightly rusty smell. Hey, he could use his nose again, after all. Slowly, each of his five senses seemed to activate again and when Paul finally lifted his eyelids, the man was gone.

It took a brief moment for the teenager to get used to gravity again, it had obviously been suspended for him for quite a while. He truly had to use strength to lean back and forth a bit, after all. But that feeling in his legs, the movement of his fingers, depending on how the train turned, they changed position and adapted to the bend. It was a wonderful feeling to be back among the living. It was then that he first noticed that his hair was hanging in his face. It was still in its natural purple color, but a lot longer. They almost blocked the view on his left eye! At least he already had a side parting, then he could save himself the tedious combing back. For the time being. He could manage with one eye, and besides, he was still too unsteady on his feet to let go of the bar next to him. Paul ventured to look around the train a bit. Only two people were on board besides him. The red folding chairs against the walls looked old, almost rancid, some had large white patches stitched over them. As he had noticed before, the smell of rust. So it wasn't a new train, and certainly not a safe one. The windows were scratched, the floor was sticky from old soft drinks and gum, the ceiling had small holes. Huh... they were surprisingly small and round.... Could that be...? Before Paul could question himself further about the origin of the holes in the ceiling, he was approached by the passenger closest to him. "Hey kid. When did you get on? Didn't see you there a minute ago." Paul blinked in perplexity. An answer wouldn't be bad now, a good excuse to avoid attracting attention if possible. If there was one thing he had learned in his 16 years of life, it was that if you didn't have a plan, you always pretended you did. How many lies have you had to tell with abandon to unsuspecting passersby? Paul: Yes.

"I just got on the train." "The last stop was an hour ago, wasn't it?" "That's when I got on." "Oh really?" "Yes. How long have you been on the train?" "A couple of hours. Always have to commute to work in the morning. They took our cars away, after all. And... everything else, too, actually." "I guess so."

That was quite a bit of information. Forever long commutes to work (damn, what time did this guy have to get up?!), unusable or stolen transportation, probably more stolen stuff. Not much could be done with that, but it made him think of a few places in the world. Not every country had their entire infrastructure taken away from them right away. Hm. On the other hand, he couldn't think of any place he'd ever heard of where that had been ordered by the government. It would also be completely counterproductive. 

The population had to work, had to keep the country running, how would that work without transportation? Or - reasonable transportation? Thoughtfully, he let his gaze wander to the window pane to his left. A large black graffiti from outside obscured the view a bit, but what Paul got to see wasn't very helpful either. Old industrial buildings, large gas tanks, gas cans, skyscrapers blocking the view even more. It was almost as if the city was trying to keep him from finding out what was going on.

"Hey, kid! What are you doing in City 17 anyway?"

City 17? So that was the name of this city? A strange name, sounded more like a new sports car, the ones where the inventors are now too uncreative to come up with proper names. R6, C2, and so on. Paul looked at the friendly yet tired-looking man in front of him before searching for an answer. "...Looking for work." That always drew, actually. Not that he had had to do something like that many times before, but the few times had obviously been enough. Because the passenger regarded him with a pitying look to lean back again. 

"They really wrecked us. Sorry, kid." Urgh, why did he have to keep calling him kid? He wasn't that short at all, he was young, but at 1.67 you should pass for tall sometime soon! Whatever, Paul didn't have time to get upset about it, he had more important things to do. "Well. Here we are," was the last thing he heard from the passenger before the train seemed to be slowly approaching the home stretch. Smoke rose from the sides, a loud squeal burned in Paul's ears and he didn't feel like he was going to get it out anytime soon. The old, rickety train came to a stop, giving a small jolt. But it was enough to knock Paul almost completely off his feet. Seriously, how long had he been asleep??? His legs felt like jello at the slightest jolt and he felt dizziness coming on. But fortunately, the teenager managed to regain his composure before the contents of his stomach spilled out onto the rest of the carpet beneath him.

Fortunately, the doors soon opened and Paul managed to free his cramped hand from the rusty bar to trot toward the exit. Not that it was quick, but he wasn't in a hurry either; after all, he was by no means prepared for what would await him next.

[princessjungeun]

From Nothing To Something: Joy x Reader

Request: Hi! I checked your master list and saw that there’s only one RV scenario there. I’m here to change that. 😁 May I request an enemies to lovers kind of scenario with Joy? 😳

The dance is linked below if you want a visual

Park Sooyoung. You’ve known Sooyoung for as long as you could remember. She’s been in every single class with you since Pre Kindergarten. One would think after knowing someone for this long you’d be best friends.

No. It was the complete opposite.

You and Sooyoung absolutely couldn’t stand to be in a room together. It’s been that way since you first met her. Despite this, as far as you can remember there’s not a specific reason you dislike her. You always remember hating her, never bothering to look into why.

All of this leads up to know. 12th grade dance class. Going to a performing arts school was definitely one of the best experiences you were provided with. Dance was your entire life. So much so you were already on track to attend an arts university overseas in America in the fall.

Every year a project was given to year 12 students. A year 12 dancer was paired with another year 12 student who didnt study dance. You were to teach them a dance and perform it for them in front of the whole school. A panel of judges from entertainment companies as well as universities were the ones who gave grades. Of course they showed a small amount of mercy. As you all were only teenagers and one of you al had no prior dance experience. However, this didn’t diminish the fact that many students still failed this project.

Your teacher rambled of names one by one giving you (the dancers) your partners (the non dancers).

“Jisu and Eunji”

“Sooyoung and Chaeyoung”

“Heejin and Jiwoo”

“Soojin and Jihyo”

“Siyeon and Bora”

“Sooyoung and Y/N”

“Chaeyeon and Kahei”

The second you heard her name you walked to the Sooyoung you wanted to be paired with, Ha Sooyoung.

Your teacher noticed you two standing together and said “Ha Sooyoung is with Son Chaeyoung. Y/N you are paired with Park Sooyoung. Please find your partner promptly.” Your fellow dance friend waved as she went to find her partner. You looked around before seeing Sooyoung staring directly at you.

She stood in front of you then said “well are you going to talk?” You felt fire boil up inside you, but instead of lashing out like you wanted to, you took a deep breath. “Meet me here tomorrow at 3 pm. If you’re even a minute late I’m leaving and requesting a partner switch got it?” Sooyoung rolled her eyes and walked past you, bumping your shoulder in the process.

That night you decided the two of you would dance a slow song. Knowing that Sooyoung has probably never danced before you wanted to do something she’d find easy.

•

•

•

When you arrived in the dance studio the next day Sooyoung was there waiting for you. She wore leggings and a t shirt with a pair of sneakers. You for once didn’t look at her and internally gag, she looked...nice?

“Ok I decided that we’re dancing to a slow song. It’s a slow and emotional choreography. We’re dancing to Say Something.” You put your bag down and walked to the center of the floor.

“Have you ever danced before?” You asked her expecting a no, but there was no harm in asking. She responded “yeah I have, for a few years as a child.” You nodded then said “ok I can work with that, nice.” She responded in an annoyed tone “can we start please. I’m meeting someone after this.” You rolled your eyes and started guiding her through her choreography.

By the end of the practice she had learned the first quarter of her routine. “Ok Joy. Uh...you did well today, be here tomorrow. Same time.” Her eyes narrowed and she immediately said “don’t call me that.” You asked “what?” She responded “Joy. Only my friends call me that. You call me Sooyoung.” She grabbed her bag and walked out before letting you say anything else.

•

•

•

The next few weeks you spent hours with Joy Sooyoung teaching her choreography. She picked everything up fairly quickly but she definitely needed help making thing cleaner.

“When you get here I need you to add more emotion. The lyrics are sad but you’re just going through the motions.” You instructed her hoping she wouldn’t respond negatively. She sighed and ran her hand through her hair before doing the move again with the same expression. You sighed “We’ll work on it...”

A knock on the door interrupted the two of you. Your dance teacher told you “Hello girls. Please show me what you all have so far.” You nodded and started the music.

As you danced you could tell Sooyoung was just going through the motions. She didn’t trust you, you tried to not get frustrated as you danced but you couldn’t. You knew Sooyoung didn’t want to do this just as much as you if not more.

Your teacher tells you “Ok well the choreography is beautiful and the sing fits well. However, I feel like you two are lacking chemistry. Watching you was like watching two different people. With this you need to be one with each other. Trust each other and feel each other’s emotions through your movements. Channel your inner dancer Sooyoung, I know you can do it. And Y/N, be patient with her. Try to feel for her more, you’re dancing for yourself when you need to dance for the two of you. I suggest you two call it a day.”

When your teacher tells her students to call it a day, that’s one of the worse things you can hear. It’s the equivalent of her telling you, “you suck go home I don’t want to see you in my school anymore this evening”. You sighed and let her walk out of the room before you faced Sooyoung.

The overwhelming feeling of anger and disappointment welled up inside of you. As much as you wanted to yell at Sooyoung, you knew it wasn’t all her fault. You played a role in this situation as well. “Tomorrow. Same time” was all you said before grabbing your things and leaving.

•

•

•

The next day you showed up and saw Sooyoung waiting for you. You told her “Come on I’m taking you somewhere.” She responded “where are we going? What are you planning? Are you going to take me to some remote place and try to kill me? Answer me! Ugh you’re so annoying no wonder I hate you.” You just grabbed her arm and dragged her to your car.

You drove for what was probably two hours before arriving at your favorite place in Seoul. Sooyoung looked out the window and unimpressingly asked “You brought me...to a mountain?” You responded “just shut up and follow me.”

You led her along a trail, hiking up the mountain. “I hate this. Why are you taking me here. This is so stupid. A mountain of all places?” You couldn’t contain yourself any longer “SOOYOUNG. SHUT THE HELL UP. ALL YOU EVER DO IS COMPLAIN. WILL YOU JUST HUSH FOR ONE MINUTE AND PAY ATTENTION TO WHATS GOING ON AROUND YOU?” She looked at you stunned then stayed quiet as she followed you “ok...sorry.”

When you got to the highest point of the mountain you didn’t hear footsteps following behind you. Turning around you saw Sooyoung clinging to a railing. You asked “what’s wrong?” Sooyoung’s eyes were closed tightly and she shakily said “I’m like really really afraid of heights.”

You sighed and walked back to her carefully removing her hands from the railing. “What are you doing? Why am I moving? What’s happening?” She started to panic. You responded calmly “it’s fine just relax.” She was clinging to you for what felt like dear life. Her body was shaking and her knees wobbling beneath her. You found it kind of cute honestly. You sighed and wrapped her arm around your shoulder, her hand immediately finding yours. While your free arm snakes around her waist.

You sat down on the ground, guiding her to sit in front of you, facing the end of the railing. Finally you told her why you were here “We’re here so we can gain trust and chemistry.” Sooyoung’s eyes were still shut, you could tell even from looking at her back.

You asked her “Ok first off theres one thing we should talk about first. Why do you hate me?” She scooted around so she was now facing you but her eyes were still closed. “Because you’re better at everything. You’re a better dancer, a better singer, you’re prettier...waaayyy prettier than me, your body is to die for, you’re so nice to everyone, your hair is perfect. I-I guess I hate you because you’re perfect...” Her voice trailed off in the end.

“Sooyoung...I’m far from that, truly.” You stated. She asked “why do you hate me?” You responded “Because I thought I was supposed to.”

You both say quiet for a minute until she said “ok well let’s talk about the dance then...why’d you choose it?” You looked down at your hands and said “broken relationships, family things. It has a meaning to me.” Sooyoung responded “I can tell. I’m sorry I haven’t been cooperating with you...” You replied “I’m sorry you don’t trust me yet.”

She asked you “so what now?” You noticed her eyes were still closed, her fists tightly clenched around her sweatshirt sleeves. “Come on theres one more thing I want you to see.” You helped her stand up and the second you took one step her body caved into yours. “I’m scared Y/N...” She whined softly.

“Shhh it’s ok just trust me.” You walked slowly to the very edge where the railing was still protecting you both. You stood behind her and wrapped both arms around her waist. “Ok now breathe in” You instructed her, “and breathe out.” She followed your instructions, you felt her shaking.

“Sooyoung-ah it’s ok I’m right here I won’t let anything happen to you. Breathe in and out until your calm.” She once again listened to you, her hands finding yours.

You softly said “Ok good now I want you to slowly open your eyes but keep breathing.” She did as you said and saw the beautiful mountains in front of her. You told her “See, look what happens when you just trust me.”

•

•

•

Ever since you and Sooyoung had that little bonding experience, dancing with her improved. She slowly started showing more emotion and putting more effort into her performance. Your teacher often watched the two of you and praised you both for your improvement.

Dancing with Sooyoung went from dancing with a stranger, to dancing with another part of yourself. You two became one as you danced, feeling each other and trusting each other. It was something you’ve never felt before. And you loved it.

You told her “Ok let’s do a full run through then we can call it a day.” She nodded and you started the song. As the music played you let your body move freely, not thinking about anything. You could tell Sooyoung was doing the same. The parts where you both came together then apart were like you were separating part of yourself.

When you two finished you immediately ran into her arms excitedly “that was so good! Sooyoung-ah we are going to do so well!” She jumped excitedly with you.

You looked into her eyes, you never truly noticed how beautiful she is. You noticed her eyes scanning your face as well, ending on your lips. Your eyes flickered down to hers and without hesitation she pulled you in and kissed you. Her lips were the softest you’ve ever felt.

She pulled away breathless and said “I’m Joy to you.” Caressing your face and kissing you again before grabbing her things and leaving. You stood in the middle of the room stunned at the interaction.

•

•

•

As weeks went on you and Sooyoung Joy got closer and closer. Immediately you realized how much attention she actually needed, you found it cute. She was always clinging to you, craving your love and affection whenever you were around.

On the day of your performance you hadn’t seen her all day. You and the rest of the dancers wouldn’t see your partners until you were onstage. This is why you and Joy had been practicing so hard the past two weeks.

“So let me get this straight. The girl that you once absolutely hated. You couldn’t stand her whatsoever. Is now your girlfriend?” Your best friend Chaeyeon asked you. You responded “we aren’t girlfriends Chae.” She roles her eyes and said “well lovers whatever you two want to be called.” You told her “I don’t know we just talked about it one day and then she kissed me...and here we are.” Chaeyeon responded “wish I could relate.”

You were instructed by your dance teacher to get in order by performance. Your friends helped each other put the finishing touches on your costumes. You wore a black, long sleeved leotard with a high neck. As far as you know Joy was wearing the same thing.

You waited your turn, watching your friends and their partners dance. The judges have yet to say anything genuinely different. It’s all the same comment “good work” or “with more practice you would have gotten higher”.

The lights dimmed and your friend behind you patted your behind in support. Nervously you ran out and found your spot, hearing Joy do the same.

When the lights came on you heard the music come on. Immediately all of your fear washed away and you let the music take control. The audience was completely silent as you two danced.

Something was different about this Joy. She wasn’t smiling as she danced like she did in almost every practice. She didn’t laugh once when you lifted her into the air. She didn’t jokingly whisper provocative things into your ears when she was close enough to. This Joy was different. She danced with passion and emotion. You could tell she wanted this as much as you did.

The end of the song came, your back against hers and her hand reached for yours. As choreographed, you tore it away and got up, walking away slowly leaving her alone. Much like a very close relationship you once had.

The lights turned off and the music stopped, you both ran into each other’s arms. The lights came back on and the judges sat in silence staring at you. One of them, from a very famous dance studio in Seoul said “I’m speechless. I honestly have nothing to say.” The others nodded in agreement before they told you both to exit the stage.

When you got into the wings you turned back to Joy, immediately you hugged her. She pulled away and wiped away tears you didn’t realize fell. You smiled and hugged her again “thank you so much. You did so well.” She rubbed your back “it was all you, I just followed along.”

Your teacher escorted the two of you back to a dressing room with your other classmates who already performed. All of them showered the two of you with complements, your best friends praising you especially.

Joy sat down and opened her arms for you to sit in them. You both watched the last two performances before the whole class was escorted onstage.

The final grades would be given in class but the highest graded performance was announced publicly. Everyone nervously waited not knowing who would be awarded the highest grade. You weren’t 100% confident because there were at least two pairs you thought did better than you.

The judge who sat in the middle spoke “This performance received a high grade of 100%. This performance left us judges as well as the audience speechless. The technique was incredible, not only from the trained dancer, but from the inexperienced partner as well. They both had the chemistry and you could tell that they trusted each other. They told a story with their choreography, it was truly beautiful. This grade is given to Y/N and Park Sooyoung.”

You couldn’t believe your ears, you turned to Joy and picked her up, spinning her around. You couldn’t help but start to cry as your whole class huddled around you hugging you. You thanked the judges profusely as well as your teacher.

•

•

•

“Joy I wanna talk to you about something.” You walked into her room as she towel dried her hair. “Do you know how much hair spray and gel Jihyo put in my hair? It took three washes to get it out!” You looked at her seriously and she said “sorry yeah what’s wrong?”

You sat in your bed and patted the seat next to you. She sat down and you continued “For the longest time I absolutely despised you. I didn’t have a reason you I just did. And then one day we were forced to do this crazy project. I took you to a mountain and you kissed me there. Then we became...whatever we are now. But I don’t want to do this with you anymore.”

Her face dropped and you could see the hurt in her eyes. You told her “I don’t want you to be doing this with me...if I can’t call you my girlfriend.” Immediately she tackled you “yahhh don’t do that you scared me!” You pulled her down and kissed her passionately. Softly you mumbled against her lips “I love you Joy” She pulled away out of breath and kissed your cheek, “I love you too Y/N”

[lurkingwhump]

Fic Time

Another little s4 ficlet, that has taken me waaayyy too long to write. Thanks to @i-am-out-of-my-vulcan-mind and @indelibleevidence and @take2intotheshower for listening as I hummed and hawed with this one, trying to get things right. Thank you also for the proofread, Heather. You guys are great!

If you’d rather read this on FFN the link is here. Please let me know what you think 😊.

This fic is slightly canon divergent for 4x09. Instead of ambushing Kurt as he gets home, Shepherd is at the address that Jane gave them. Shepherd dies in a shootout that ensues. Instead of going home, Kurt goes to the hospital to take Jane home.  

 Remorse

Jane was sitting on the exam table, the chill of the room penetrating the thin hospital gown she was wearing in addition to her underwear. Her clothes were on a chair by the door, but at that moment even that distance felt like miles. Sighing, she leaned her head against her arms. She was exhausted, mentally more so than physically. Yes, she was achy from the fight and the bruised ribs caused by it, and the fever she had developed during her little journey through her mind was still present but the battle in her brain had left her drained.  

Hearing the door open, she looked up.

“Kurt!” His name escaped her in an exclamation. She had been expecting one of the nurses, a member of her security detail or even Rich, but Kurt’s entry caught her by surprise.

“Hey,” he greeted her warmly as he walked up to her, taking her hand in his.

Jane took a few seconds to look at him: he was no longer wearing his body armor, only the ever-present holster on his hip. She noticed some dark stains on his jeans. Blood. She gasped, looking at him in alarm.

“Kurt, are you injured? What–”

He squeezed her hand in reassurance. “It’s okay. I’m fine, it’s not my blood. It’s…” He glanced away briefly, sighing. “It’s Shepherd’s.”

“What happened?” Jane asked, although she suspected she already knew.

“She was at the address that you gave us, but she didn’t give up without a fight. She started a shootout, wounding a couple of agents before she was shot. We tried to save her, but she bled out.” He gave a defeated sigh. “I’m sorry, Jane. I know you were hoping to talk to her, to get closure.”

She nodded, numb somehow. She was conflicted. On one hand she was glad that the woman, who had made her adolescence and much of her adult life hell with her mind games and manipulation, was dead, but on the other, it felt as if death had given Shepherd the last laugh. Now, having Remi’s memories as well, she could never make Shepherd answer the questions that lingered. Or have her answer for all the terrible things she had done or had people do.

“Jane…”

“I’m okay.”

As Kurt cupped her cheek, she saw the bandage on his arm and the guilt came flooding back. That’s my fault.

She reached out, gingerly tracing her fingers over the bandage. “Kurt, I’m so sorry I did this. I–“

He shook his head, dismissing her apology. “Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed. “I got a prescription for antibiotics from the doctor and it’s going to be fine.”

She averted her eyes, looking down at the floor. Somehow the room felt even colder now.

“You’re shivering…” Kurt exclaimed, engulfing her in an embrace.

Jane breathed a weary sigh and pressed her cheek against Kurt’s shoulder, closing her eyes. She didn’t speak, just leaned into his arms and calming touch as he slowly ran his hand up and down her back. His touch had always had that soothing effect on her, ever since the day they met, and today wasn’t an exception.

She gave a quiet sound of protest as Kurt pulled back.

“You’re still running a fever,” he said with concern as she met his eyes. She felt an inexplicable warmth in her chest at his look. Yes, there was worry, but the look was one he reserved only for her. The love and tenderness shining in there almost brought her to tears.

“I’m fine, Kurt,” she said, hoping to convince him.  

Every bit the worried husband that he was, he gazed at her, his brow furrowing as he tilted his head slightly. She leaned into his touch as he cupped her cheek. “Maybe you should stay here overnight, just to be sure that it won’t spike?”

“No, they already gave me something for the fever and instructions for Tylenol if it persists.” Jane sounded almost desperate, even to her own ears. She gave him a pleading look, leaning closer to him. “Kurt, please,” she murmured. “I just want to go home”. She felt physically and emotionally exhausted, and she could feel a headache approaching. She desperately wanted to go home, crawl into her own bed and fall asleep in her husband’s arms.

Kurt held her close, kissing her hair. “Okay. We’ll go.”

***************************************************************************************

Kurt stopped the car at the red light, and glanced at Jane in the passenger seat beside him. They were almost home, but the anxiety in his chest felt like it was a snowball rolling downhill, growing every moment.  Jane was even more subdued than normal: she was leaning against the headrest and her eyes were closed.

“You okay?” He queried softly as he carefully took her hand into his, intertwining their fingers.

She swallowed thickly, her discomfort obvious. “The headaches are back. It feels like someone is sawing my skull in half.”

“Oh, Jane. We’ll be home in a couple of minutes.” He squeezed her hand before turning his eyes back to the road.

He held on to her hand as he maneuvered the SUV onto their street. The car jerked as he found a curbside spot and parked. A whimpering sound escaped Jane at the sudden movement.

“Sorry.” He hated seeing her in pain.

As he turned off the ignition and was about to exit the car to go help Jane out, she turned to him, and muttered, “What if this is it?”

Kurt had allowed to himself to feel a small spark of hope in his heart again today, when Jane had returned to him in spirit as well as in body. That maybe the information they had found on Roman’s latest cache would also help them find the cure for ZIP, if it led Patterson to this treatment, as dangerous as it had been. But now, at Jane’s fearful question, that spark almost went out: his heart feeling like someone was scrubbing rough sandpaper over his emotions.

“Jane…”

“What if it’s too late? What if we don’t find the cure in time?”

Now it was Kurt’s turn to swallow thickly, as he stamped down on his own rising fear and cupped her cheek gingerly. “You can’t think like that. We will find that information, and get that cure.”

“Roman didn’t. ”Jane’s tone was desperate as she repeated the fact that he was constantly trying to block out of his consciousness.

A pained sound escaped him, be she continued before he could speak.

“I was already hallucinating, just like he was. You know as well as I do that it’s a late onset symptom!” Her voice was rising, her eyes reflecting her fear as she looked at him. “I’m dying, Kurt.”

Ignoring the console between them, Kurt pulled her into a fierce hug. “Don’t say that.” He held her close, kissing her hair as he tried to comfort her. “We will find that cure. I promise.” He could feel the tension in her body, her ragged, pained breaths as she fought to keep her tears away. He squeezed his own eyes shut, willing the moisture away as he released a shuddering breath. “You don’t have to fight this alone. I’m right here.”

Jane didn’t say anything, merely nodding against him.

He wished he knew what to say to her. He desperately wanted to convince her that they would find the cure. In his mind, there was no there was no other alternative. They had to.

She groaned again.

“Jane…come on, let’s get you inside.”

***************************************************************************************

Jane had gotten out of the shower and dressed in a tank top and underwear. She shivered, trying to will the headache away as she left the bathroom. She was about to enter their bedroom, but stopped abruptly when she saw Kurt standing in front of the wardrobe with his back to her as he cautiously removed his shirt. She noticed the bruising forming on his side, and hearing him wince she felt the guilt crash down on her again.

“Kurt…” She stepped up to him, tracing her fingers over the bruises with a light touch.  She looked up at him briefly, before averting her eyes to the ground. “I’m so sorry…for everything I did, how I –”

“Shh.” His fingers traced her jaw, then caressed her cheek. “I told you, it doesn’t matter, Jane.”

The tenderness in his voice and the love reflected in his eyes made her chin tremble, as she fought to control her emotions. “I don’t deserve him. I’m such a terrible person.” The guilt kept gnawing at her. It was eating her inside, but it was also like ice on her insides, freezing her, imprisoning her in a desolate vastness.

“It does!” Her voice quivered as she reached up to trace her fingers lightly over the cut on his forehead. “I shot at you…” The searing pain in her heart almost made her gasp, as she continued, her voice barely a whisper. “You could have died in that crash.”

“But I didn’t.” His thumb traced her cheek softly.

Jane averted her eyes from him and stepped away from him, the remorse squeezing her insides.

“Jane…”

She saw the compassion in his look, and it only made her feel more undeserving. “You’re too good for someone like me,” she said sadly.

“Don’t say that. You– “Kurt took a step closer, but she stopped him with a raised hand.

“I love you, Kurt. More than anyone. But the things I did…I lied to you, manipulated you.”

He sucked in a pained breath. “You weren’t yourself.”

“I was plotting to kill you.” Jane looked down, horrified at herself.

“I know. But you didn’t.” Kurt’s voice was gentle, understanding almost. He reached for her hand, carefully brushing his thumb across the back of her hand.

She squeezed her eyes shut for a second, wincing at the sharp pain in her head. Pushing the pain away, she went on “I misled you and the team, covering things, blackmailing.”

He shook his head sharply, almost as if he did not want to believe it.

“I broke Shepherd out of that black site! I was going to–”

“And we’ll explain it to Weitz and the CIA. Jane, please. You weren’t yourself.” Kurt was pleading with her now, clearly agonizing over her words. “You’re sick, it’s the poison.”

Still, the little voice inside her castigated her mercilessly. “You’re a terrorist. You know what happens to terrorists.” That realization made her blood run cold, as memories of those three months in the custody of the CIA surfaced. She remembered the pain, heard her own screams, and Keaton’s cold and calculating tone as he had her tortured, again and again.

Her heart was pounding, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her eyes were wide with fear as they met Kurt’s.

Her tone was getting more distraught with every word she spoke. “The CIA…what if… What if they’re going to take me again? For breaking out Shepherd, for the money, for working with Violet, for–“

“No, Jane.” Kurt pulled her tightly against him, and she went willingly now, closing her eyes as she tried to get her racing heart under control. “I won’t let that happen. Ever.” He murmured into her hair. “Rich and Patterson will come up with an explanation for Weitz that will keep the CIA away.”

She lifted her head, gazing at him, being unable to articulate the gratitude and love she felt for him.

He gave her a loving smile, his fingers tracing her temple. He frowned when he noticed her discomfort. “You’re still running a fever…and you’re in pain.”

“It’s just a headache,” she tried to soothe him, even though her entire body was aching now that the warm shower had reawakened her bruised muscles.

He reached out to pull down the bedcovers as he tenderly tugged at her fingers with his other hand. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

Jane sighed, the weariness starting to engulf her. She was unable to hide a wince as her bruised side protested the movement when she turned toward him.

“Jane…” Kurt’s voice was full of worry, as he guided her to sit on the side of the bed.

“I’m okay,” she protested, as his hand went to lift her tank top.

“Let me see,” he said softly, moving her hand away.

“Kurt, it’s not–“

“Oh, Jane… I’m sorry,” he said remorsefully as he saw her bruised side and back, tracing the bruised area with a light touch. “Do you need a painkiller?”

She shook her head, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “I just need some sleep.”

“Okay. Lie down.”

She was about to protest as he gingerly guided her onto the bed and tucked the duvet around her, but looking into his eyes she saw his love and behind it the anguish he tried to keep from her. She understood how important this was to him, now that she was back with him, in mind as well as in body. So, she just smiled at the gesture and closed her eyes.  

Then, she heard the rustle of the sheets as he joined her on the bed.

“Come here.” He placed a kiss on her neck and pulled her against his chest.

Needing to feel closer still, Jane turned, snuggling deeper into his warm embrace.

Finally, she was home. No mind games, no pretenses. Just the two of them.

“I love you,” she whispered against him.

He breathed a shuddering sigh, kissing her forehead tenderly before he tightened his arms around her.

“I love you, too. We’ll find that cure and everything’s gonna be okay. I promise you.”

[every-day-outdoors]

17 November 2018

canyoneering Seven Cataracts again - this time it went not nearly as well as the last time. 

We (Bri, Emma, and myself) had about 9 participants for this trip. We got an early start, felt prepped for the trip, and left in an appropriate amount of time. We got on the mountain about 30 min past what we would have liked, but that should not have been a big deal. Hiked in, super downhill trail. Its basically like once you get in, there’s really no getting out except through the canyon. As we approached the first rappel, a participants tells me he forgot his harness. Fuck. 

This became a persistent issue throughout the day. Even though we told ALL participants to bring everything, and checked constantly, this one guy just didn’t listen. So, that meant we had to come up with a plan, bc he needed a harness to get down. We ended up having to relay a harness up at Every Single Rappel. That probably tacked on an hour 30 to the time getting out. 

Our first rappel set (#1 and 2) also took waaayyy longer than expected. The whole day, Bri and I were extremely proficient at setting up rappels, getting people hooked in and taken off, and everything in between. But the participants were SO FUCKING SLOW. Nearly every single one took about 3x as long as they should have. The first 2 rappels alone took us about 3 hours longer than they should have. 

By the time we got to the end of the 3rd rappel, sunset had hit. And we still had 2 more rappels and a hike to get out. It was also fucking freezing. Between fireman belaying, setting up and managing participants, us leads had not had any time to eat which also was not a great time. 

We should have been out of the canyon by 5 or 6 ideally. We figured at that point it would be 9pm, which was a bummer. But turns out, we got to the last rappel at 9pm. fuck us. So then we guessed by 11 we would be out of the canyon and driving home.  Nope. The last rappel took (unsurprisingly) way longer than it should have. We finished up at 11. I cannot tell you how cold and miserable it was sitting at the top, being swept by the wind, fingers and toes frozen, mist spraying me in the face. I just wanted to get the hell out of that canyon. Finally, I rappelled and cleaned the route, and we headed for the long hell of a hike out. 

That was still a sufferfest. It’s an extremely exposed, chossy, goat path out and up the side of the canyon. And it was dark. Needless to say, it was a sketchy situation. The participants handled it well enough. Emma, on the other hand, was in her crisis zone. I thought for sure she was going to pass out or vomit or have a panic attack. I basically had to hold her hand on the way out. I understand the fear and frustration, but as a trip lead, it was really unprofessional. Not something I would have liked to have seen. But regardless, we got out of the canyon and back to the van at midnight. We booked it down the mountain and got back to OA just before 1am. We threw the gear in, said ADIOS to the participants, and went the hell home.

What a fuckin shitshow of a trip. So many factors playing against us, its hard to think of what we could have done better. Maybe carry gear in? Have canyoneering classes before the trip? Fewer participants? I’m sure there’s something. Is it what it is though. Knowledge for next time.