#this took me like 20 min sorry its so messy

[theelibugs]

I did a small scribble of Faya who may or may not have been in range of Minrathous in the recent gameplay trailer uwu

[gotnofucks]

Lovely Shade of Green

Pairing: Chubby!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Jealousy is a very good look on your boyfriend.

Words: 1.7k

Warning: Smut, oral sex, jealousy, slight daddy kink, slight dom bucky, language, 18+ Only

A/N: For @drabblewithfrannybarnes who wanted chubby!Bucky smut! Here you go darling, I hope you like it!

MASTERLIST

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You were bleary eyed, head rising and falling slowly as it rested on the soft pooch of Bucky’s belly, a hand patting your head gently. You would have fallen asleep had the bottle not landed at you. Tony was snickering, shitfaced and you wondered again why you agreed to play today.

“Truth or dare Y/n?” He asked and you mumbled truth. “Do you and tin man take it up the ass raw or are you lubing it up?”

Bucky groaned, a hand coming up to shield his eyes. He was still not comfortable talking about your sex life in the open, and certainly not with Tony. You rolled your eyes, hand hugging Bucky closer as you scoffed.

“Changed my mind, gimme a dare.”

A little spark of doubt crept in you when Nat and Tony exchanged a look. The moment a smile blossomed on Nat’s lips you knew you were fucked.

“I dare you to sit between Thor’s legs until the game ends.”

In the time it took you to understand they actually meant it, Bucky had sat up straight and pulled you up under his arm. He growled with a hand holding you to him, jaw clenched tight.

“Shut your crap trap Stark, this is not a joke.” He warned and Tony, intoxicated beyond measure just waved his worry aside.

“I’m not asking her to ride his thigh terminator, just asking her to sit between his legs. You don’t mind do you, Thor?”

Thor who was just as drunk on his Asgardian mead as Tony, giggled and shook his head.

“Come here little Y/n, I’ve got lot of flesh to keep you warm.” He bent his knees to make space for you in them and you raised your eyebrows. Your gaze shifted to your boyfriend who was glaring at Thor and Tony while Nat looked expectantly at you.

“It’s only until the game ends, come on now. Few minutes at most.” Nat urged and you hesitatingly went over to Thor who gently plopped you between his thighs. His front was brushing your back and you bit your lip, looking at Bucky who was now scowling at the floor with fists clenched. The bottle was spinning again, and you pretended to be interested in the game, your sleep deprived brain still not sure what happened.

Maybe it was finally too much, maybe it was because Tony kept looking over at you and chuckling or maybe it was because Thor placed a warm hand on your shoulder that Bucky snapped. He stood up suddenly, took the spinning bottle in his hand and smashed it on the floor right beside Tony.

“This game is fucking over, and if you utter another word from that stupid pie-hole so will you.”

Saying this he marched over to you and roughly hauled you up by your arm, walking swiftly back to the hall and your room. Drunken murmurs and cheers could be heard behind you, most clearly Sam’s who said, “I’ll take my 20 bucks now Cap, told you it won’t take more than 10 mins.”

You tried to keep up with Bucky’s long stride as he angrily dragged you to your room and all but flung you inside. You were far more awake now as you gazed into Bucky’s narrowed blue eyes, his plump cheeks red with anger you felt a nervous heat between your legs. The door was shut and locked and Bucky turned on you.

“You have been a naughty girl, cuddlebear.” He said softly and you nodded dumbly.

“Buck, it was a game.” You said and he came closer, his hands wrapping around your waist and pushing you back towards the bed.

“You should have said no, you should have left.”

You trembled as your knees met the bed, sitting down and letting Bucky peel away your t-shirt. His frown deepened as he bunched the Captain America t-shirt you had stolen from the charity event last month.

“Look at that cuddlebear, not only do you dare to sit between another man’s legs like you’re his puppy, but also wear someone else’s mark. Do you think that was a nice thing to do?” His voice was hardened with lust and jealousy and you creamed yourself when he tore the fabric in his hands and threw it away.

“No, I am sorry.” You say and Bucky tutted, flicking your chin.

“Sorry what?”

“I am sorry Daddy” You corrected, and Bucky’s lips enveloped yours, rough and soft at the same time. Your hands clutched his side, nails digging into his soft love handles as he pushed you on the bed and climbed over you. You moaned in his mouth, shimming out of your pajamas when he pulled back to breath and started stripping himself.

“You know I don’t like it when you’re in some other man’s arms, right?” He asked and you nodded. You put your hands on his shoulders and pushed him down, straddling him.

“I’m sorry Daddy, let me show you I only love you.” You breathed and Bucky’s eyes rolled when you pinched his nipples. He nodded, and you bent over him, your mouth meeting his in a messy kiss. His metal hand was cold on your back and your groaned, sucking a spot on his neck that made him shiver. Tracing the jagged scars on his left shoulder with your fingers and mouth you ground your hips on the bulge between your legs, your wetness dripping down and over his balls.

“Cuddlebear, gimme more.” Bucky begged and you hummed, sliding down to bath his body. You kissed and suckled his flesh, giving special attention to his nipples before nuzzling the chubby flesh of his belly. You dipped the tip of your wet tongue in his belly button making his arch up and smiled. One of his hands fisted your hair and pulled you, the other grabbing his weeping cock and smacking you in the face with it.

“Take it in, now. Show me your love and loyalty.”

You took his thick cock in your mouth, the corners of your mouth aching as they stretched wide to fit his girth. Your hands stroked what your mouth couldn’t take, and you started bobbing your head, the bed rocking slightly as Bucky thrust softly in your mouth. As you hollowed your cheek and sucked, slowly pulling back to just graze your teeth and again going back down, your hand reached between your own legs to play with your swollen sex, your juiced coating your thighs.

Bucky’s moan spurned you on, your drool dripping over his pelvis and you moved fasted and deeper, taking him with a skill that made his thighs shudder. He was close and you could feel it, his hand in your hair tightening until almost painful and suddenly you were pulled off and rolled onto the bed and under him.

“Now cuddlebear, you are going to take me in your drenched pussy and take me hard and fast. You’re going to come around me, gush around the tool that makes you feel so so good and thank me for giving you my cum. Get it?”

You nodded, drunk on lust as your Bucky’s hand reached your wet folds and played with your entrance, rubbing the walls to loosen you. Even after months of being together, you needed to be prepared to take him in, his cock thicker and meatier than any you had had before. You felt him align himself and grabbed his face in your hands, pulling him into a deep kiss just as he pushed inside you.

Moaning into his mouth as the mix of pain and pleasure, you held him to yourself, mashing your breast to his chest. His hips snapped against yours, thrusts deep and hard as his piercing eyes kept yours prisoner.

“Who do you belong to cuddlebear?” He asked, head dipping for a moment to nip at your nipple that made your clamp on him harder.

“You daddy, only you.”

“Who do you love?” The bed was banging against the wall, the sound of his balls hitting your ass echoing in the room. Only the sheer power of his hypnotic gaze kept you grounded to reality, made you aware of nothing but him.

“I love only you daddy.” You whined, voice broken as he gave you two powerful, punishing thrusts.

“Will you ever sit on another man’s lap?”

“No daddy!” You shouted and his mouth came down on yours, hips a blur as they powered into you. You cried out, heels digging into his back and his sweaty front pressed flush to yours. Salty sweat trickled down from his hair and fell in your eyes, mixing with your tears as you babbled incoherently at the abject pleasure that sent lightning bolts shooting down your spine and right to your clit.

You spasmed around him, your warmth clutching around him in a glove of velvet heat as his voice whispered his love in your ear. He twitched inside, the warmth of him filling you until some escaped and squelched along with your own release, a breathy “Thank you daddy” leaving your mouth.

He was laying on you, his weight crushing you to the mattress and you let him be, wrapping yourself around him. Warm lips met your jaw and cheeks, continuing to press against your nose and forehead until finally, almost chastely pecking yours.

“Did I hurt you my love?” He asked softly, eyes tender and concerned. You smiled at him, the strongest and kindest man you knew.

“You can never hurt me Buck, never. I love you.”

He rolled over to the side, taking you with him and tucking you to his side. You threw a leg over his thick thighs, tracing the numerous stretch marks and battle scars that littered his body.

“I’m sorry about tonight, I didn’t mean to get angry.” He said and you giggled, booping his nose with your index finger.

“Buck, I love it when you get jealous and angry. It’s flattering, and I kinda adore it when you go caveman.” You admitted and he laughed, hugging you closer.

“Good, because I don’t like sharing. You’re my cuddlebear and I plan on keeping you.”

You peeked up at him, twirling a strand of his hair and tugging gently.

“Forever?”

His eyes, your safe place and heaven looked at you in warmth and full of promise.

“Forever.”

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 Tags: 

@what-is-your-wish​ @shooting-star-love​ @littlegasps​ @sebastiansthot​ @its-izzys​ @sweeterthanthis​ @muralskins​ @stanmysoul​ @scentedsongrebel​

[shwazzberryswriting]

Twisted, Act 3

*Day 25*

Haechan😘🙄☺️: gd morning babe hdyf need me 2 go 2 target

Lawan: Babe I got big news

Haechan😘🙄☺️: ?

Lawan: I have to buy new bedsheets CUZ MY PERIOD CAME LAST NIGHT my sheets are ruined I spent the last 20 min scrubbing my mattress

Haechan😘🙄☺️: alot of tmi babe but does this mean i can take u out for shots wanna smoke a celebratory blunt

Lawan: 🙄 its not even 9AM yet babe

Haechan😘🙄☺️: where r u getting bedsheets

Lawan: you were saying something about Target?

Haechan😘🙄☺️: want me to come get u we can go to 119

ill help u finish cleaning

ill make u lunch

Lawan: see u in 20?

Haechan😘🙄☺️: 15

Lawan: 😘

Lawan watched Haechan in the driver’s seat of her car, his blue hoodie covering his messy brown hair. He looked at home singing along to the music as he adjusted the volume to the sound system. His confidence in parallel parking made her grateful that he offered to drive them as they were out running errands.

She needed a bit of a break. She’d woken up early to find herself looking like she was in a horror movie, her pajama shorts and blue bedsheets were ruined with large red period stains. Currently, her room stunk of all purpose cleaner and antibacterial spray. She had been nearly done with cleaning her mattress when Haechan had texted her.

“So you’re not pregnant but your bedsheets are ruined,” Haechan said, turning the car off.

“I’d rather have a crappy morning cleaning my mattress than have a baby in like, 8 months or something.”

They shuddered together before exiting the car. 119 was a tea shop that opened early on the weekends. Haechan enjoyed going to 119 for the free upgrades. A couple of his NCT frat brothers worked there, and that morning Mark was working. It was easy to talk him into giving them discounts.

“Are you going to get a milk tea or fruit slush?” he asked her as they stood in line. She rested her hands over his arms wrapped around her waist from behind. “Coffee milk tea or strawberry milk slush?”

“So you’ve been keeping track of my orders?” she said, trying to keep her eyes open as Haechan kissed her cheek.

“We spend so much time together babe, I just know what you like,” he said, resting his head against hers. “What will I order?”

“Coffee milk tea or white grape slush,” she replied. His hold on her tightened for a second.

“I think you like me more.” His voice had made her nipples hard, which caused her cheeks to grow hot.

“Haechan?” a familiar voice said from behind. Loosening his hold, Haechan turned his head over. Lawan followed, and felt her whole face turn hot. Renjun, another NCT frat brother, was arm in arm with his girlfriend, Alexandria. “Hey, Lawan.”

“I knew it,” Alexandria said with a wide grin, shaking Renjun’s arm. “Renjun, didn’t I tell you last night that I thought they were, like, hooking up?”

“You were gossiping about us?” Haechan asked. Lawan wanted him to release her. It was hitting her that she and Haechan were legitimately dating. As in, their friends would know that they’d been doing more than just watching movies in each other’s rooms. He held her firmly against him as her nerves made her feel like her knees would give way. “But yeah, I guess you can say it’s official.”

“How did you two go from bickering about homework to...this?” Alexandria asked. Her eyes were shining bright as the corners of her eyes crinkled up and her mouth widened into a big smile.

“We’ve been getting along better,” Haechan replied, giving a shrug.

“Why? Because you were hookups first?” Renjun asked. He broke out into an innocent smile as Haechan let go of Lawan, his eyes narrowing.

“Hey! What’s up, guys?” their cashier, Mark, greeted them, relieving the tension in the air. “Yo, dude, my manager stepped out for the day. Johnny came in here and piled on the free shit. You want a cookie with your order?”

“We’ll just get our drinks,” Renjun said stoically, but began stuffing a few individually wrapped cookies into his leather bag.

“Don’t mind Renjun,” Alexandria said to Lawan, resting her body against the counter. “I’m happy to see you two together, but I do want to know how this all happened.”

“Haechan bought me a pineapple daiquiri,” Lawan replied before trying to rub her tongue up against the roof of her mouth. It felt like rubbing a sponge up against a brick wall, her mouth parched. “He��s helped me a lot lately.”

Haechan handed her a sugar cookie decorated to look like a pineapple with royal icing, distracting her and Alexandria. Despite Alexandria smiling at the gesture, Lawan didn’t know how to feel. She wanted to find the gesture sweet, but she worried that Haechan was only doing so to look good in front of their friends. The idea sounded absurd, but she couldn’t stop herself from worrying that Haechan was only putting on a show.

“Um, dude, I think that’s overdoing it,” Mark said, reaching over to stop Renjun from grabbing all the treats placed on display.

“So you like Johnny more than you like us?” Haechan asked.

“What if I told you I could double the boba in your drinks?” Mark replied.

“Not Dria’s, please,” Renjun said. Haechan seized the opportunity to tease Renjun for being so caring about his girlfriend’s drinks preferences.

As Haechan and Renjun heckled Mark, Lawan thought about what she and Haechan would say to their friends about how they became a couple. They hadn’t exactly lied, but Renjun’s joke had Lawan sweating for a second, thinking that he knew their whole history.

She was able to feign a smile and banter with their friends about why they were up so early. Renjun and Alexandria were trying to beat the large crowds at a new art museum that was featuring a collection of works done by Frank Stella in the 1970s through to the 1980s. By the way Haechan nodded passively to Renjun’s excited ramble, Lawan felt relieved to know that she wasn’t the only one who didn’t know who Frank Stella was.

Alexandria invited them to join, and take advantage of their student discounts. The first weekend of the month meant the tickets were discounted by another 5% on top of the 10% student discount. After thanking Mark for the free upgrades and cookies, Haechan and Lawan declined to join. She spent the rest of her day with Haechan, but she still struggled to let go of her worries.

*Day 30*

The lunch rush had been busy and frantic, but she’d gotten a lot of large tips. There was a tech fair near the university campus, so the out-of-town visitors gave generous tips. Since she’d worked 3 days in a row, Lawan had her entire weekend off. It didn’t mean much since she was stacked with homework.

“Lawan, can you check the front locks before leaving?” Ruby asked from the back office in the kitchen. They were the last people in the restaurant, the pair to clean up and set up for the dinner shift.

“All right,” she called out as she put the strap to her purse over her shoulder. Ruby and Lawan had done the lunch rush so often, they’d come to clean up in less than 30 minutes with their routine. “See you later, Ruby!”

“Bye.”

Her eyes were shut as she sighed when she exited the kitchen to check the front door’s lock. She was going down her list of errands before heading home. HMart for rice and produce, bank to withdraw money she owed her roommates, and then home for dinner and homework. She needed to take some aspirin for her headache and sore feet.

When she opened her eyes, the last thing she wanted to see was staring her in the face. She stopped in her steps as she stood beside the back end of the restaurant’s bar. Seated at the second to last chair nearest to her was Haechan, two pineapple daiquiris in front of him. Her face turned hot as his gaze was steady, his expression did not change as he turned his body toward her direction.

“Are you trying to ghost me?” Haechan asked.

She pressed her lips together and looked down at the daiquiris. Of course, Ruby wouldn’t warn her about Haechan paying her a visit. They hadn’t talked about Haechan when Lawan said she didn’t want to, but the fact that Ruby brought up Haechan at all was telling enough that Ruby liked Haechan and Lawan dating.

Seeing him in the flesh made the guilt she’d tried ignoring come rushing forth, making her whole face hot. Pulling out the metal chair before her, she sat down beside him, and set her purse down onto the bar counter. After the day she got her period, Lawan had gotten cold feet and ignored Haechan’s texts, telling herself her schoolwork was more important.

“I need time to think,” she replied, her eyes fixed on the daiquiri sitting closest to her. The maraschino cherry was slowly sinking into the deflating whipped cream.

“You could have texted me that,” he replied, his tone remaining level. “I would have understood.”

“Right, because you’re the perfect boyfriend,” she said with a scoff. Guilt clouded her vision immediately and she shut her eyes before looking up into Haechan’s face.

“I don’t have to chase you, Lawan,” he replied, his expression unmoved. “If you don’t want to date me, that’s fine. Just don’t be an asshole about rejecting me.”

“Haechan,” she said, feeling her throat tighten. She blinked away the tears that threatened to come. “I’m sorry. I like you, I’m just...feeling insecure. You deserve better.”

“What’s up?” he asked, turning his body toward her, touching his knee to hers. His eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“That morning we ran into Alexandria and Renjun, I just,” she paused as she looked away. She felt ashamed to think about the judgment her mom received for being a young mother. The world felt more modern than old patriarchal standards of her grandparents’ age (hell, even her mom’s), but the threat of potentially being knocked up while in college scared the shit out of Lawan. “I don’t want people to think you and I were stupid that day we hooked up. It all came from such a cynical place.”

“You think our relationship is cynical?” he asked, his eyebrows raised. He grabbed one of the daiquiris and took a drink from the red straw.

“You really wanted to date me after we hooked up?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “Like, you really think we would have begun dating had the condom not broken?”

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “Life didn’t work out that way. Maybe I was feeling horny and you were too, and that was supposed to be it between us, but like, come on. I know my concerns for you weren’t cynical, especially last week. Is that how you see our relationship? You only dated me because you don’t want people to judge you for being a horny idiot? Condoms break all the time.”

“Haechan,” she said with a laugh, furrowing her eyebrows as she sat up straight. She looked around despite knowing that they were alone. Reaching out to touch his wrist, she apologized as she saw him frown, his jaws tightening. “I like you. I like you so much. Every night I’ve been going to bed, crying, thinking about you, knowing I can’t just stop talking to you. I haven’t been fair to you, I’m sorry. It’s not you that is the problem, it’s me remembering how tough it was to grow up seeing my mom struggle a lot. All that hard work she put into raising me, and I could have been in a similar situation.”

“I would never walk out on you,” Haechan said, leaning closer to her.

“It’s not about you,” she replied. “It’s about me. It’s about how scared I was. I just...I needed time to sort through my feelings. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to worry you.”

“So you shut me out?”

“I’m sorry,” she said, standing up. He had a point. It was a shitty move not to consider his feelings. “I really am. I’ll need to communicate with you more. I want you to be my boyfriend, Haechan. I want to be your girlfriend. Will you forgive me?”

He sighed and shut his eyes. A few tears rolled down his cheeks and it was her turn to sigh. Whenever he scrunched his eyes shut and opened his mouth into a wide grimace she knew they were crocodile tears. Instead of calling him out, she kissed his tears away and combed her fingers through his hair. She planted two kisses onto each of his beauty marks, one near his eye and the other on his cheek.

“I’m so sorry, babe,” she said softly, pulling him into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

His arms wrapped around her waist and he lifted his head to plant a kiss onto her neck.

“Let’s go home,” he said, standing up with her. He draped his arm over her shoulder.

As they began on their walk to the NCT frat house, Lawan pressed herself closer to Haechan. His body was warm, and his hold was comforting.

“Are you always this forgiving?” she asked. She’d expected him to do a little more guilt tripping. Perhaps go on a scripted monologue about how she iced him out with her cold heart.

“No,” he replied, looking down at her for a second, “but I did make a promise to you at Costco, do you remember?”

“You did?”

“If I was your boyfriend,” he said plainly, “I’d never let you go.” They were just a few steps away from the driveway to the frat house.

“Don’t finish that,” she said. They’d stopped walking. Despite herself, a smile was growing on her lips, hurting her cheeks. “You’re my boyfriend. You don’t need to-”

“Keep you on my arm, girl-”

“Stop. I don’t like this Bieber song.”

“You'd never be alone.”

“Donghyuck, I mean it.”

“And I can be a gentleman, anything you want.”

“Haechan.”

“If I was your boyfr-”

She shut him up by grabbing his face and kissing him.

---

Thank you for reading! 💚

[versatilewindow]

Food Poisoning, or Something More?

Find it on Ao3

Summary: Reader gets food poisoning, inspired by true events

Warnings: somewhat graphic depiction of throwing up/illness, implied afab reader

A/N: when I started writing this I intended a quick lil drabble, but alas

Rintaro was in bed, passing the time till he fell asleep for the night watching a random youtube video when the texts from you came in. Babe please come over, then another text, my stomach hurts, then the last, I rlly need u rn. He responded quickly, u kno u can just tell me when u wanna have sex, u dont have to pretend ur stomach hurts or something. He saw the three dots appear and waited for the response, i spent the last 10 min voming in the toilet. Worry filled Rin’s head, calculating the amount of time it would take to stop by the nearest drugstore to pick up some supplies before texting you back, 20 min. 

Walking into your apartment with a bag filled with medicine, sports drinks, and snacks, in his rush to get to you, he forgot to ask what medicine you already had, so he got whatever would seem useful. He called out to you, “Bunny? I’m here.” not that he needed a response, he could hear your retching from across the apartment. Rushing into the bathroom, Rin kneeled next to you, redoing the messy ponytail that you put up, rubbing your back, muttering encouraging words so that you would finish and he could comfort you. He flushed the toilet while you hovered over the toilet for a few seconds, making sure the wave of nausea passed before trying to get up. Suna followed your movements, setting his hands on your waist to steady your swaying while you washed out your mouth in the sink. “Please tell me you haven’t spent the last twenty minutes vomiting.”

“No, I haven’t. But it sure felt like it.” Your boyfriend’s eyebrows furrowed that these words. Your voice was hoarse, skin washed out from its usual glow, the exhaustion clear in every aspect of your appearance. You buried your face in his chest, grabbing his shirt with labored breath. “Thank you for coming. I know it’s gross.”

Your words were just loud enough for him to hear. “It’s no problem bun-bun, I brought you some stuff, it's in the kitchen.” Rin pulled you out of the bathroom you were holed up in, setting you down on your couch. He walked away from you, presumably to get whatever it was he brought, and you shut your eyes, savoring the calm in the waves of nausea. You heard the rustling in the kitchen, pots and pans clanging, bringing your headache to stir and push down on your temples. While massaging your forehead, your favorite fuzzy blanket was pulled over your crossed legs, large hands replacing yours on your head. Rin kissed the crown of your head. “I have some soup heating up for you, and Pocari Sweat, and some meds.” He moved around the couch to sit on the coffee table in front of you. “Did you eat anything weird today? Did one of your co-workers have the flu recently? Because I don’t wanna catch whatever you have.”

You thought for a moment before responding, “I, uh, don’t think anyone was sick at work recently. I don’t think it's contagious then. Uhh Mina from school, it was her birthday, so we went to that new barbeque place for lunch.” Your words were slower paced than they usually were, taking all your effort to say something comprehensible. “I texted the groupchat, they said they were feeling ok, but um I think it was Hana? She said she didn’t feel too great, but nothing like me.”

“You’re not pregnant are you? Because as much as I like getting called daddy, I don’t really wanna hear it from a kid, only from you.” 

You look straight into his eyes, he winks, “Shut the fuck up. And no, I took a test, it was negative.”

“That’s good then, lemme check on the soup.” He got up, patting your head as you leaned back into the couch. He came back quickly, bowl and bag of “goodies”. As you slowly spooned the broth into your mouth, Rin pulled out a few bottles of Pocari Sweat, a bottle of anti-nausea medicine, some crackers, and finally the two greatest items in the bag, strawberry pocky and chuupets. You froze when you saw those, quickly putting down your soup to make grabby hands at the pocky and chuupet, but he lifted them out of your reach, “Nuh-uh, not until you feel better, you’d just throw them up now.” You gave him the best pout you could, but Rin stayed firm in his words, putting the treats back in the bag.

Rintaro spent the rest of the night taking care of you, grabbing whatever you needed, massaging your stiff stomach, letting you sleep against him while you slept sitting on the couch (he insisted that you stay upright, telling you how google said it would help the heartburn), and continuing to hold your hair back when you were dry heaving (there wasn’t any food in your stomach to vomit up by 3 am). You were settling into bed around five am, exhausted from staying up so long, ready to at least try and get peaceful sleep when Rin said, “So I know we already discussed this and have concluded you have food poisoning, but what if you just have a tapeworm? Google said it’s basically the same symptoms-”

“What the fuck Rin? A tapeworm? Who even gets tapeworms?”

“Well Google said people usually get them in contaminated pork or beef, and you got barbeque.”

“It would be an egg on the meat, and eggs take time to grow Rin-Rin, I’m pretty sure the gestational period for tapeworm eggs is not 8 hours.”

“But Babe, think about it, a pet tapeworm.” The bedroom was dark, but Rin felt your eyes burning through his skull. “You said you wanted a pet, so we go to the doctor’s get the tapeworm removed, and make him an aquarium.”

You deeply sighed, shaking your head, “When I said a pet, I meant a bunny, or a cat. Not a parasite.”

“I’d call the worm Mustard-”

“Goodnight Rin.”

The next day, Rin stayed with you, making sure you were okay. You felt infinitely better than the night before, with only a lingering headache reminding you of the situation. There was a knock on the door during your lunch, it was your friend Mina, “Oh honey, I’m so sorry you got sick yesterday, I feel so bad, I brought your favorite food to make up for it.” She placed a white plastic bag on your table.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not your fault.” 

Rin took your empty bowl, replacing it with another, and ruffled your hair, “C’mon babe, you’re eating for two now.” The mischievous grin was obvious on his face.

Mina blushed, “Oh-oh my god...are you pregnant? Is that why you were sick? Is it a boy or a girl?”

A proud smile on his face, Rintaro replied, “It’s a tapeworm,” earning him a hard smack on the stomach.

A/N: yeah i got food poisoning from eating too much japchae, too much fiber makes ur intestine say no, and your stomach acid go crazy, dont recommend, but it inspired the fic! hope yall liked it! Leave a comment saying why you liked it! or why you didn't like it!

[singaporeluststoriescollection]

How I managed to bang my GF's family and friends (Part 1)

Hi bros, I have been a silent reader for months and now I would like to share my own experience about how I managed to get lucky with my GF’s family and some of her friends.

  Before I begin, I believe some of you will be wondering “Waa, you sure or not?”

  If I were to be honest, all I can say is that I’m not bad looking and I keep myself lean and fit. Most importantly, I am pretty confident and a little cocky at times. I guess some girls dig my style.

  Anyway, I thought it would be interesting for me to share my life story here, so here I go:

  I was 27 when my GF brought me to meet her family. Things were getting serious between us, and we were considering marriage. It was a big step ahead for me, as I never thought I would see myself getting married.

  My girlfriend (Evelynn) is the same age as me, a petite 27-year-old lady standing at around 155cm. I met her at work and she’s a demure and sweet lady, partially the reason why I fell in love with her. Naturally, I was expecting her family to be a traditional and conservative Chinese family.

  From what I understood, she has an elder sister and an elder brother, with her being the youngest sibling. She told me that her sister is a HR personnel working in an MNC, so I was expecting a dull, boring lady.

  So, you could imagine the shock I got when she opened the door to her house and what greeted me was a sweet pair of tits.

  It was 8pm or so on a Friday night and her sister (Eyvon), had just gotten home from work and had taken a bath. She later told us that she had totally forgotten that Evelynn is bringing me over for dinner.

  Eyvon was playing with her phone on the Sofa when we entered the house. The first thing I saw was her perky nipples underneath a thin, worn-out T-shirt. The outline of her nice C-cup boobs almost bursting out of the tight-fitting t-shirt. Best part of it all was that she’s completely unashamed that I’m there talking to her while her tits are almost visible.

  Evelynn brought me to her room later and Eyvon joked around a little before that, saying “Mom and Dad will be home soon, so don’t try anything funny in the room!”

  Now my head is filled with images of her firm and round boobs and I have a hard time keeping my boner down…

  My GF’s mom and dad came home within half an hour or so, and I went out to greet them. Not knowing what to expect, I was pretty darn nervous. What if her parents don’t like me? What if I smell weird? It’s the first time I’m meeting them after all.

  I came out just in time to see her parents placing a box of cake on the table. I’ve seen her parents from her photos before, and they look pretty friendly. True enough, her parents were all smiles when they saw me. Her dad came over and shook my hand- firm and strong. He seems like a chubby man in the photos but I’m pretty damn sure those were all muscles below his fats.

  Her mom came over and gave me a hug. The moment her arms wrapped around my back, the first thing I felt were her plump breasts. And holy shit were they impressive. Looks like Eyvon got a good portion of her mom’s good genes. My GF Evelynn on the other hand, is a modest A cup. However, I must say that my GF’s face is the prettiest among them all.

  I savoured the short couple of seconds her breasts were pressed against me, and proceed to make small talk with the dad while mom went to the kitchen to heat up the food for dinner.

  My GF grew up in an English-speaking household, so conversing with a middle-aged man in English made me felt as if I’m speaking with my boss at work.

  Not really a nice feeling, to be honest.

  After a short chat with her dad, dinner was ready and we dig in to the food. Eyvon wore a bra during dinner, perhaps due to her mom nagging her. It was a real pity, since I would like to see more of her breasts. My GF’s mom kept shoving food onto my plate, telling me to eat more. Every time she bends forward to pick up a dish, I could see her breasts press against the dining table. Thank god for the table blocking their view. By then my cock is almost at its limit.

  And it was on that day that I started to have weird thoughts about my GF’s family…

  It has been a week or so since the dinner, and I still can’t get the image of my GF’s sister and mother out of my mind. I’ve been having sex and fapping more frequently, to such a point where my GF started telling me that her private area is sore from all the sex. I have no choice but to visit ML for a quick release every now and then.

  Then the weekend came, and I was left with nothing to do in my house as my GF went to hang out with her female friends. My brother came and bug me to go to the gym with him as he needs a spotter, but I gave an excuse just so I could stay at home and fap. By then, I’ve almost used up all the fap-worthy photos available on Eyvon’s Facebook profile.

  I had to resort to my imagination.

  I could vividly see Eyvon standing in front of me, wearing nothing but the worn-out t-shirt from that day, signalling me to go over and do her on the sofa. I took off my pants immediately and plunge my cock deep inside her, imagining how she would moan. I ejaculated within minutes.

  At this point, I knew I had to get help, or at least speak to someone who can help me. It has to be someone I can trust…

  So, there I was, having frog porridge in area G with a good buddy of mine. Let’s just call him Jeremy. Back in NS, he was the one who taught me how to chiong, and we’ve been best buddies ever since. He may appear frivolous and act like a dick at times, but he is a good man who will never leave a bro in the lurch.

  Over the porridge and Gong Bao frog, I shared my issue with him.

  “Wah bro, your GF sister sound like she asking for it you know?” Jeremy half-jokingly teased.

  “I mean, come on lah” he added “Why else will she show off her body like that in front of others?”

  I then told him about how they’re English educated and might be more ‘open’ about such things, but Jeremy dismissed my claim.

  “No way lah” he continued “bro I know her type, she must be desperate for attention! You say she’s close to 30 and still single right?”

  And Jeremy was right. According to Evelynn, Eyvon broke up with her BF a couple of years back and hasn’t been in any relationships since.

  …I wonder why? It’s not like she’s hideous or anything.

  Jeremy brought me back to reality, and gave me a piece of his mind.

  “Bro, just try your luck and drop some hints lah, maybe you will get something out of it…”

  So, for the next couple of weeks, I tried my best to get closer to Eyvon. Evelynn was happy about the effort I was putting in, thinking I’m trying to gain the favour of her family. Truth be told, I was really trying to do that. Buying desserts and gifts for Evelynn’s family constantly certainly ain’t cheap, but I could tell that they are starting to open up to me more as the days went by.

  As for Eyvon, she started wearing skimpier clothing as the days went by. It’s as if she considers me a member of the family by now. She used to wear T-shirts and shorts around the house all the time, and I enjoyed stealing glances her.

  However, I was greeted by a pleasant surprise when I went over to their house during one of the weekends.

  As usual, I made my trip to Evelynn’s house in the afternoon, expecting her to open the door for me. But little did I know that she’s taking a bath. Eyvon came to the door instead, and I was not prepared for what I was about to see.

  As if a grand reveal done by a magician, the wooden door opened up to reveal Eyvon wearing a grey spaghetti strap tank top! The tank top was probably one size too small, as it was a ridiculously tight fit even for a lean girl like Eyvon. The tank top accentuated her figure, and you could see all the curves at the right places.

  Most importantly, I can see the outline of her nipples beneath the tank top. If the tank top was white in colour, I’m willing to bet that we’ll get to get a good glimpse of the colour of her nipples.

  At that moment, I realized I was staring. And my brain, still recovering from shock, somehow made me said the darnest thing ever. (I probably sounded like someone recovering from head trauma)

  “Hi, hey, ah… Eyvon! Uh, looking good!”

  Eyvon raised her eyebrows, fairly surprised by my reaction. However, her surprise soon turned into a chuckle, and she moved aside to let me into the house.

  “You’re looking pretty good yourself!” she winks comically, and gave my butt a slap as I entered the house.

  …that was unexpected and… oddly arousing.

  Perhaps Eyvon realized that I had a thing for her due to this incident, as something interesting was about to happen soon…

  That very night, I stayed over at my GF’s place. Her parents are ok with me staying over and I don’t like to go home on weekends because of certain reasons (maybe I’ll elaborate on this in the future, it’s complicated)

  I tend to stay up late, due to my gaming habits. It’s 2am or so and I left Evelynn’s room for a drink.

  After pouring myself a cup of coke, I sat on the sofa, replying to my friends’ messages. One of my friends got into a bike accident a couple of weeks and somehow managed to injure his testicles.

  So, there I was, giggling like an idiot on a sofa while replying to the messages in the group chat, making fun of my friend.

  About 20 mins or so later, I heard a door swing open.

  Twisting my neck to one side, I saw Eyvon coming out from her room.

  “Hey, still not asleep ah?” She asked in a really sleepy voice.

  Thinking that my incessant laughing might have disturbed her sleep, I apologised to her.

  “Sorry ah, I was laughing too loudly”

  Eyvon opened the fridge, getting herself some orange juice.

  “Oh no no, that’s not what I mean! Not your fault I’m awake!” She replied.

  From the corner of my eyes, I saw the lights from the fridge illuminate her face. Despite having no make-up on and a head of messy hair, she still looked sexy as hell.

  Eyvon gulped the juice down and gave her arms a good stretch while yawning. Her chest raised before my eyes, stretching out the old t-shirt she’s wearing as pyjamas.

  At this rate, her T-shirt will rip one day.

  What kind of dumb ass would dump a gem like her? Wondering that, I turned my eyes back to my screen. Expecting her to return to her room after this, I went back to the group chat.

(Original thread: http://tiny.cc/td3x6y) (To be continued…)

[hermannsthumb]

Hi! it's me again, the person who named their cat after Newton. Just wanted to share a thing that happened today I let him out and like 20 min later an older gentleman calls me to say that my dumbass of a kitten had followed him home. I had to drive over there to get him (he was fine btw, the man was really nice and even gave him some food). But like, newmann au where Hermanns cat runs away and attractive stranger Newt takes care of the kitten until Hermann comes to get him.

Anonymous said: i hc that 1 of many reasons hermann loves cats is bc they're like tiny lil mathematicians!! calculating angles n trajectory before they jump, evaluating the way things move etc. no-kaiju au hermann has 2 clever cats n finds out that newt loves cats too, so they kind of hook on to that as a small talk prompt so they don't kill each other. but one day herms has to drop smth off @ newts n finds out his cat is The Most Stupid Orange Boy Ever bc like what did he expect. ofc he loves them both anyway.

i loved both of these messages so much and i love newt and hermann and cats so im....making a little ficlet combining the two (with some stretching of the anon message)...this is SO hallmark channel original its atrocious

Hermann’s never been the type for pets, not even when he was a child. Nor has he ever been the type for caring for really any living thing. He’s not the nurturing type. He had a small terrarium with a turtle as a child (a birthday gift from a relative who’s long dead at this point) and kept a houseplant for a month (a housewarming gift from an overenthusiastic neighbor in the flat next door), but his sister claimed ownership of the turtle when he went off for university and he hasn’t seen it since, and the plant quickly withered and died from lack of natural sunlight. 

But the winter months always hit Hermann the hardest (seasonal depression compounded on top of regular depression compounded on top of Hermann’s semi-self-inflicted aching loneliness), and moving across an ocean and even further away from everything he knows is hardly helping, which is why his new therapist suggested he get a pet. An emotional support pet, he thinks they’re called. Something for Hermann to look after and have as his companion so he doesn’t spend every moment he’s not lecturing at the nearby university staring out his bedroom window at the ice and the frost and the snow and contemplating his own existence and the aforementioned aching loneliness.

So Hermann got a cat. It was either that, or try to make friends, and he’s never been good at making friends either.

It’s a nice little cat, a small grey-and-white tabby, and Hermann took a shine to it immediately at the local humane society when it peered through the cage at him with big brown eyes and mewed. If Hermann were another man, he might say he took a shine to it because it was cute.

It’s a clever cat, and fairly easy to co-habitat with, too. Hermann feeds it twice a day (morning, before lecturing, and evening, after lecturing) and buys it a scratching post and toys so it doesn’t ruin his furniture. In return, the little cat sometimes curls up on his lap as he grades assignments and on the great empty space in Hermann’s bed every night when Hermann lays down to sleep. Often it will lick Hermann’s hand, as if it’s trying to groom him, or present its plush mouse toys to Hermann as gifts in return for a head scratch. Hermann’s rather fond of it, to his immense surprise. He thinks it’s fond of him.

It’s why he’s near frantic now. He had his front door propped open for a single moment--just long enough to balance his cane with his grocery bags--and his cat took the chance and bolted past him down the hallway. By the time Hermann gathered his bearings and tore after it, it was completely gone. No way of telling where it may be, whether it ran up or down the staircase, whether it ducked into the elevator with another renter, whether it’s even still in the complex.

Hermann didn’t even name the bloody thing yet. How is he supposed to call for it?

He heats up a miserable dinner of leftover pasta and considers what to do next. His cat hasn’t a name, but it does have a collar with Hermann’s cellular number and name on it (suggested by the humane society, and Hermann, ever paranoid, was all too happy to go along with it). If someone finds his cat, they’ll surely call him. He hopes.

There are no phone calls through dinner. Hermann is too worried to grade the stack of assignments cluttering up his kitchen table and spends the evening staring out the window at the ice, and the frost, and the snow...

His cell phone rings; Hermann answers it immediately. “Hello?” he says.

“Uh, Hermann Gottlieb?” someone says.

“Yes,” Hermann says. “Yes, that’s me. Hello.”

“I think I found your cat.”

Newton, as the man on the other end of the phone introduces himself, lives a mere two floors below Hermann (Hermann is out the door and in the elevator before he’s even hung up) and found Hermann’s cat wandering the ground floor when he came home from work. Also at Hermann’s university, to Hermann’s surprise, but biology. (Newton is very talkative; he learns a lot aout him very, very quickly.) He hadn’t even meant to take it home, he explains, it just sort of...followed him.

“Maybe he smelled my cat on me,” he laughs, once he’s shown a still-frantic Hermann into his flat. It’s messy and a little cramped, with coffee mugs and open textbooks and half-finished crochet projects strewn about, movie posters and anatomical diagrams and sketches of plants plastered up all over the (lime green) walls. Messy and cramped, and somehow immensely, and strangely, appealing.

Newton himself is strangely appealing, too. He’s about Hermann’s age, short and scruffy, with tattoos and pierced ears and thick glasses, but he smiles brilliantly at Hermann, touches his shoulder and back companionably as he steers him into his sitting room, has a loud laugh that makes Hermann feel warm and pleasant.

(Newton, Hermann admits to himself, is also cute.)

“This your little guy?” Newton says, picking up Hermann’s cat from his dingy couch. He scratches behind its ears, and it starts purring and nuzzling Newton’s chest immediately.

It is, indeed, Hermann’s grey and white tabby cat. “That’s him,” Hermann sighs. “I really am sorry about this.”

Newton smiles. “It’s fine, dude. He and my cat were chilling.” He nods back to the couch, where a fat orange and white cat is chewing on one of the tassels of Newton’s pillows. Hermann almost hadn’t seen it. “He’s such a dumbass,” Newton says, looking at the fat cat fondly, and then turns his smile on Hermann again. “Anyway, wanna stay for a bit?”

Hermann blinks in mild bewilderment. “Stay?” he says.

Newton has not stopped scratching Hermann’s cat behind the ears. “I just made a pot of coffee,” he says. “I have beer, too. Or,” he starts talking faster, clearly embarrassed, “you can just go if you want, obviously, sorry, you don’t have to--”

“I’d like coffee,” Hermann says. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Ha! Cool!” Newton says. “Lemme--” He thrusts Hermann’s cat back at him. “Get comfortable. I��ll be right back. Half and half? Sugar? Coffee, I mean, how do you want it?”

“Black,” Hermann says, holding his purring cat with one hand. “No sugar.”

Newton shoots him two thumbs up and scurries off into his kitchen, and Hermann eases himself down onto the sofa next to the fat orange cat. “What an odd little man,” he says to it. It blinks at him, then continues chewing on the pillow happily.

Hermann can’t seem to stop smiling. He catches sight of the window (nearly obscured by gaudy curtains and window gel clings that are five holidays out of season), and--for the first time in weeks--can’t seem to bring himself to care about the dreary grey winter, either.

Hermann leaves Newton’s flat two hours later, warm, happy, his cat tucked under his arm and Newton’s cell phone number (signed with a long string of x’s and o’s) tucked into his shirt pocket, a dinner date looming on his horizon.

(He moves in with Newton a year later.)

[taekookismylifeline]

(yoonseok) - trust my heart when it beats for you

ao3:  (x)

Summary: Jung Hoseok has had an awkward Thing for Min Yoongi for four years of his school life. He is certain that the only thing that gets in the way of them and everlasting love is the fact that Min Yoongi doesn’t know he exists, but that all changes due to one drunken text message: a pick-up line. Ready to flee to another country under a false identity in mortification, he finds himself ruining their blossoming friendship and confessing when Yoongi asks why Hoseok had tried to flirt with him. However, things take a turn after his confession when Yoongi starts to (awkwardly) flirt back.

Pairings: Yoonseok, Taekook and Namjin

Chapters: (1), (2), (3), (4), (5), (6), (7), (8), (9), (10), (11), (12), (13), (14), (15), (16), (17), (18), (19), (20), (21), (22), (23), (24), (25), (26)

Chapter Twenty-Seven -  what does it mean when i think of you and my heart is revived?

Jung Hoseok: yoongs

Min Yoongi: hey :)

Jung Hoseok: wow! An emoji! Jung Hoseok: i just wanted 2 say thanks 4 today Jung Hoseok: it was amazing Jung Hoseok: you were amazing

Min Yoongi: so were you Min Yoongi: there’s no need to thank me Min Yoongi: Am I not allowed to show my happiness? :(

Jung Hoseok: NO Jung Hoseok: I MEAN YES Jung Hoseok: yoongs ive been meaning to ask u something

Min Yoongi: yes? Min Yoongi: You can ask me anything

Jung Hoseok: when i called u baby Jung Hoseok: did u mind it? Jung Hoseok: i only realised I said it after everything Jung Hoseok: its only cuz we talked about kinks and u said it was weird Jung Hoseok: so im really sorry if i made u uncomfortable Jung Hoseok: i wont do it again Jung Hoseok: im sorry

Min Yoongi: Oh Min Yoongi: I didn’t think too much into it, I thought it was just a pet name Min Yoongi: I assume you mean the daddy kink Min Yoongi: So I guess you do have a daddy kink then?

Jung Hoseok: NO Jung Hoseok: well Jung Hoseok: idk Jung Hoseok: i just like being on top?? Jung Hoseok: i like it when you're submissive i guess

Min Yoongi: right Min Yoongi: Let’s talk through this, okay?

Jung Hoseok: if ure okay with it

Min Yoongi: it’s fine Min Yoongi: what do you mean you ‘don’t know’?

Jung Hoseok: idk

Min Yoongi: Very helpful

Jung Hoseok: AHHHH im sorry!!! Jung Hoseok: i just mean that i get why ppl think its weird Jung Hoseok: cuz of the whole ‘dad/dy’ thing Jung Hoseok: IM NOT INTO INCEST

Min Yoongi: Seok, I know that you don’t want to fuck your dad Min Yoongi: I know what the daddy kink is to an extent Min Yoongi: It’s not that weird to me, so don’t be embarrassed

Jung Hoseok: AAAAAA that made ME LAUGH BUT IT SHOULDNT HAVE!!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: thanks Yoongs :)

Min Yoongi: it’s fine, Seok Min Yoongi: tell me why you think you might have a daddy kink

Jung Hoseok: ok, ok, this is probs gonna be rambley so sorry Jung Hoseok: so

Jung Hoseok: I like being in control, like i like being assertive and knowing how to make someone feel good Jung Hoseok: i like watching someone feel good, i want to see how they react to what i do to them Jung Hoseok: i like giving pleasure and knowing how to do so Jung Hoseok: i like someone who gives into what i want and lets themselves feel good by my hand (or tongue or whatever) but also isn’t totally submissive Jung Hoseok: ive never really thought about kinks before but ??? idk being with u is making me think about sexy stuff and then idk Jung Hoseok: I think about u calling me daddy when i do stuff with u Jung Hoseok: i want to take care of u, to make u feel so good, to make u moan, to make u think of no one but me on top of you Jung Hoseok: it turns me on Jung Hoseok: you turn me on Jung Hoseok: sorry Jung Hoseok: this took a turn, sorry

Min Yoongi: no Min Yoongi: it’s fine Min Yoongi: I never knew you felt like that Min Yoongi: You probably have a daddy kink, Seok Min Yoongi: Or you’re just an assertive top, I guess Min Yoongi: I don’t really know that much about it

Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: I might maybe do Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: if i do, is this a problem? Jung Hoseok: obviously I won’t bring this onto you Jung Hoseok: i don’t want u to be uncomfortable Jung Hoseok: i’ll control myself Jung Hoseok: are you okay?

Min Yoongi: Seok

Jung Hoseok: yes??

Min Yoongi: today Min Yoongi: when you called me ‘baby’ Min Yoongi: I liked it

Jung Hoseok: kfge Jung Hoseok: iowohh Jung Hoseok: sirry Jung Hoseok: u think u liked it?

Min Yoongi: it’s okay Min Yoongi: I know I did Min Yoongi: I liked you being on top, you knew exactly where to touch and what to do Min Yoongi: I liked it when you looked at me, made me watch what you were doing Min Yoongi: I liked it when you called me baby

Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: wow

Min Yoongi: yeah

Jung Hoseok: so Jung Hoseok: do you Jung Hoseok: maybe Jung Hoseok: have a daddy kink?

Min Yoongi: I don’t know Min Yoongi: I’ve never thought about it Min Yoongi: I don’t know if I have any kinks Min Yoongi: you’re the first person I’ve ever been with so I don’t know Min Yoongi: I just like it when you’re in control

Jung Hoseok: oh

Min Yoongi: Seok Min Yoongi: this doesn’t change anything, you know that, right? Min Yoongi: You can call me ‘baby’, I don’t mind

Jung Hoseok: thanks, yoongs Jung Hoseok: i don’t want to gross you out

Min Yoongi: you could never

Jung Hoseok: even though i swallowed????

Min Yoongi: wow Min Yoongi: yes, even though you swallowed Min Yoongi: Seok

Jung Hoseok: :) Jung Hoseok: yes yoongs??

Min Yoongi: when can you next come over?

Jung Hoseok: umm I think not next week but the week after? Jung Hoseok: why? Wanna go on our first date???

Min Yoongi: Oh, okay, cool Min Yoongi: I hadn’t even thought of that Min Yoongi: Yes, I’d like that Min Yoongi: very much

Jung Hoseok: yessssss!!!!!! Ill start planning it!!!

Min Yoongi: Thank you, Seok, I can’t wait

Jung Hoseok: no problem!!! :) Jung Hoseok: wdym u hadn’t thought of it? :( Jung Hoseok: why did u ask when i was free??

Min Yoongi: oh Min Yoongi: I want you Min Yoongi: when you described what you wanted to do to me and what you liked Min Yoongi: I got turned on Min Yoongi: I want you to touch me again Min Yoongi: but I can wait Min Yoongi: I’ll do anything for you

Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: you’re making me hard just thinking about you Jung Hoseok: I touched myself when I went down on you Jung Hoseok: you tasted so good, you had a shower didnt you? Jung Hoseok: you look beautiful naked Jung Hoseok: you look beautiful clothed Jung Hoseok: I want you to touch yourself Jung Hoseok: I’m there with you, my hands on your body Jung Hoseok: you feel that?

Min Yoongi: yes Min Yoongi: yes i do Min Yoongi: what about you? Min Yoongi: I didn’t pay you back

Jung Hoseok: next time baby Jung Hoseok: you can dream of what ure going to do to me Jung Hoseok: I’ll dream of you Jung Hoseok: I always do Jung Hoseok: I love your voice, when you moan for me Jung Hoseok: are you moaning now? Jung Hoseok: you could be a singer with that voice Jung Hoseok: but I don’t want u to share it with anyone other than me Jung Hoseok: youre not replying but youre reading Jung Hoseok: I can imagine you, are you laid back on the same bed I touched you on today? Jung Hoseok: Imagine my hands on you baby, my mouth on your skin, marking you, making you mine Jung Hoseok: do you want that? Do you want everyone to know youre mine? Jung Hoseok: then say my name, don’t be embarrassed Jung Hoseok: im picturing u touching yourself Yoongi Jung Hoseok: I want to watch you do it Jung Hoseok: I want to help you Jung Hoseok: god look at what youre doing to me yoongs Jung Hoseok: you made me cum today without touching me and now you’ve got me hard Jung Hoseok: im thinking of u baby, thinking of your face when I touched u down there Jung Hoseok: u were so wet for me yoongs, it was so hard to hold back Jung Hoseok: im touching myself yoongs im thinking of you losing control Jung Hoseok: stroking yourself with your top ridden up your hair a mess Jung Hoseok: god I want to be there hearing the noises ure making Jung Hoseok: I should have stayed Jung Hoseok: yoongs I want u Jung Hoseok: so much Jung Hoseok: look at what ure making me do yoongs Jung Hoseok: I cant believe u thought id leave you Jung Hoseok: im nothing with you yoongs you mean everything to me Jung Hoseok: when you cum I want you to say my name Jung Hoseok: because you’re mine Jung Hoseok: not jinsoos not anyone elses but mine

Min Yoongi: I came Min Yoongi: just now

Jung Hoseok: I haven’t yet Jung Hoseok: yoongs Jung Hoseok: send a pic Jung Hoseok: I don’t care of what, anything will do as long as its u

Min Yoongi: it’s embarrassing Min Yoongi: but you helped me, so I’ll help you

Jung Hoseok: thank u Jung Hoseok: did u say my name?

Min Yoongi: yes Min Yoongi: I’m yours Min Yoongi: (picture attached) Min Yoongi: it’s embarrassing

Jung Hoseok: oh fuck Jung Hoseok: is that u right now baby? Jung Hoseok: lying there all messy Jung Hoseok: its not embarrassing its hot Jung Hoseok: youre so hot yoongs

Min Yoongi: you’re hotter Min Yoongi: do you want me to stay with you until you come?

Jung Hoseok: yh Jung Hoseok: say something Jung Hoseok: dirty Jung Hoseok: record it Jung Hoseok: please

Min Yoongi: (voice attachment) Min Yoongi: my voice is gross, sorry

Jung Hoseok: yoongs do u know how hot your deep voice is? Jung Hoseok: didn’t know you thought like that yoongs Jung Hoseok: I like it Jung Hoseok: im almost there

Min Yoongi: when you come, say my name Min Yoongi: you’re mine

Jung Hoseok: I am I am Jung Hoseok: id worship you Yoongi fuck look what ure doing to me Jung Hoseok: i came

Min Yoongi: you’re perfect, Seok Min Yoongi: I’ll be there next time Min Yoongi: I’ll pay you back

Jung Hoseok: yoongs youre too good to me Jung Hoseok: I feel icky Jung Hoseok: but really good

Min Yoongi: ‘icky’? Min Yoongi: so do I Min Yoongi: I’m going to clean up Min Yoongi: thank you, Seok

Jung Hoseok: it’s a valid word!! Jung Hoseok: same here Jung Hoseok: thank you, yoongs :) Jung Hoseok: yoongs

Min Yoongi: yes?

Jung Hoseok: why didn’t we call each other?

Min Yoongi: oh Min Yoongi: I forgot Min Yoongi: you were typing and I read it in your voice

Jung Hoseok: oh hahahaha Jung Hoseok: this way ull have it forever Jung Hoseok: so if im not there and ure lonely u can read it :)

Min Yoongi: gross

Jung Hoseok: im joking!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: I’ll always be here Jung Hoseok: anything for you yoongs Jung Hoseok: you know that right??

Min Yoongi: yeah Min Yoongi: yeah, I do Min Yoongi: thank you, Seok Min Yoongi: I’ll always be here for you, too

Sunday was fairly uneventful. Yoongi’s parents didn’t return until late at night, and his brother was still at college which left Yoongi to his own devices with no distraction from Hoseok to provide him with any real entertainment. He spent the majority of the day watching make-up tutorials and researching piano score sheets to practice on his own. It was refreshing to play again, he felt like he were a little kid whose biggest problem was that he didn’t like the fruit that his mum packed in his lunchbox. However, this time he tackled practice with a matured and more determined attitude, although he still may have cursed when his fingers slipped.

It was early Monday morning when he received a text from Jeongguk, Yoongi was just about to clamber onto the school bus. He headed towards his usual seat in the middle of the bus, and positioned himself next to the window before opening the message.

‘Tae said he wants to talk to me? he wants to meet after school at that western restaurant me and u used to go to. Do I say yes? He’s ignored me for over a week’.

Yoongi frowned in bewilderment. Taehyung was reaching out to Jeongguk after so long? What was the purpose behind it? He had the sudden urge to grill Hoseok but refrained from doing so as he knew that Hoseok would probably rather die than betray his friends’ secrets.

‘Ask him what he wants first. It’s weird he’s messaging you now’. Yoongi replied with and then eagerly awaited a response.

He didn’t have to wait too long. ‘Okay, i just did, and he said ‘to apologise’. Yoongs what do I do?’

Yoongi found himself at a loss, Taehyung wanted to say sorry for his behaviour which most likely required an explanation. Jeongguk had nothing to lose and everything to gain, from his perspective at least. ‘Agree to meet with him and demand an explanation.’

‘Ok ok ok I just did and he said he’ll tell me everything. I’m oddly nervous. He makes me so nervous I almost forgot holy shit.’

Yoongi guffawed and had to hide his laughter into his hand. ‘make sure you turn up then. And don’t worry, you probably do the same to him.’ It was a struggle not to correct ‘probably’ with ‘definitely’.

Jeongguk responded with a variety of emoji’s which Yoongi interpreted correctly to be satire. He smiled and shook his head at the younger boy’s attitude as the bus halted at the bus stop outside of the school. Yoongi remembered that he had agreed to meet Hoseok near the courts before the bell rang and his heart folded inside of his chest.

Everything that Hoseok had confessed to him on Saturday had been replaying on his mind consistently. His heart throbbed almost painfully with the fondness that Hoseok held for him. It was entirely overwhelming and completely staggering to be showered with adoration from a boy who was the definition of perfection itself. Yoongi wondered whether Hoseok knew how amazing he was, how much he occupied Yoongi’s mind and heart. Hoseok had re-kindled the spark of passion in him for music, a passion that he had let die, and had also aroused a ravenous hunger for Hoseok and his touches. Yoongi pondered whether Hoseok was aware just how much he meant to Yoongi - he wanted to show Hoseok, whether it be through words of through actions. Hoseok had re-birthed him into someone he was profusely happy to be.

Suddenly, inspiration cascaded over him, bleeding into his veins and feeding his heart. He had an idea to show Hoseok how much he meant to Yoongi, he would need time, though. And a lot of patience. But he was certain that he could do it, after all, Yoongi had told Hoseok the truth. That he would do anything for him.

“Hey, Yoongs!” Namjoon called him over to the courts when he was walking past the field where Jeongguk was playing football with a group of people in his year. Yoongi’s eyes drifted past Namjoon and focussed on the figure next to him. The same figure that had undressed him and had leant over him, causing him pleasure that was sapped from heaven itself and bestowed it onto him. Hoseok was watching him and Yoongi was fairly assured that Hoseok was thinking along the same lines as he was as he spied through the mesh fence that Hoseok had licked his lips whilst watching him.

Yoongi entered the gate to the courts and approached the two, removing his earphones from his ears and wrapping the wire around his phone. “Don’t be so loud in the morning, it’s not healthy.”

Namjoon simply smiled at him, raising a visible eyebrow over the frames of his glasses. “I think you just don’t want me to be happy.” Yoongi raised an eyebrow back at him as if to say, ‘you’re exactly right’. Namjoon laughed, nudged him with an elbow.

Yoongi returned a smile, his heart warm. He was over the moon that he and Namjoon had managed to restore their friendship ever since he and Hoseok had begun their relationship. He had confided in Namjoon first, not wanting to seem as though he were dragging Jeongguk’s face through the dirt by confessing that he was in a relationship whilst Jeongguk struggled with his situation involving Taehyung. After Yoongi admitted to having taken Namjoon’s advice, Namjoon’s face had broken into an unbelievably wide grin and had pulled Yoongi into a hug, congratulating him on his bravery.

Yoongi was significantly aware that Hoseok was watching he and Namjoon jousting. He could feel Hoseok’s eyes running over him and could hear Hoseok’s quiet intake of breath when Yoongi turned his head to look at him.

“Hey,” Yoongi greeted, a shy smile seeping onto his face when he heard how quiet his voice was and noticed how intense Hoseok’s gaze was.

“Hey,” Hoseok responded, his tone equally as soft but his smile wide and his eyes warm, latching onto Yoongi’s as the golden sunshine poured down on them.

Yoongi had almost forgotten that Namjoon was standing in their proximity. “I was just telling Hoseok about this weekend - Jin told me that he was going to meet up with Taehyung and Hoseok, and he asked if it would be alright for all of us to officially meet.” Namjoon smiled, but it was too distant to be directed at Yoongi. “He’s really interested in meeting you guys, he didn’t get to last year so he wants to make up for lost time.”

It was strange to see the cool, calm and collected Namjoon be so completely love-struck, but it was refreshing as well.

“It sounds great, Namjoon,” Hoseok said earnestly, ripping his eyes away from Yoongi’s long enough to direct his attention at the person he was talking to. “I honestly don’t mind it. It’s the first time we’ve all hung out, and I want to get to know Yoongi’s friends better.”

At Hoseok’s words a bright smile had flashed across Yoongi’s face which Namjoon caught instantly. Namjoon smiled back, a knowing glint in his eyes. “Thanks, Hoseok, that means a lot – and I’m sure it means a lot to Yoongs, here, as well.” Hoseok turned to Yoongi with a gleamingly bright grin, Yoongi turned his back slightly and made to observe the football game Jeongguk was partaking in that was playing out on the field. “Does anyone know if Jimin will be available?”

Yoongi caught Hoseok’s uncertain glance and he cast his eyes down at his shoes. “I haven’t heard from him. I think...” He paused, mentally deciding whether he was allowed to tell Namjoon the truth. He realised that Namjoon was Jimin’s friend too, and would definitely want to be in the know as to whether Jimin was alright. “I think he’s trying to sort himself out.”

Namjoon watched him carefully. “So, I take it that you’ve talked to him, then?”

Yoongi registered the slight hurt in his voice and words blundered around in his mind trying to shove themselves together to form an explanation.

“We both did,” Hoseok jumped to his aid. “We weren’t purposefully trying to leave you out – Jimin wanted to talk to Yoongi, probably to apologise about what had happened at the club, but I wanted to come with; I wanted to know why Jimin was avoiding all of us.” Namjoon nodded slowly, and Hoseok continued. “I’m sorry, I should have invited you – and Jeongguk, too. You’re both Jimin’s friends, you both deserve to know what’s going on. But, I don’t think me or Yoongs can tell you.”

Hoseok was standing close enough to touch, to cling onto his hand, but he refrained from doing so. His heart was jumping wildly inside of his chest as Hoseok had lent him support without him asking. Hoseok really did care about him, and although he very much appreciated Hoseok telling him so, it was rejuvenating to hear it through different means. Yoongi very badly wanted to do the same for Hoseok and he found some comfort in the fact that he already had an idea how to do so.

“‘Seok!” Someone was calling for Hoseok’s attention. The three turned towards the noise and found a rather frantic Taehyung on the opposite side of the fence, gesturing desperately for Hoseok to join him.

Hoseok waved back and yelled at him to ‘wait up’. He turned to them rather sheepishly. “Sorry,” he smiled weakly. “We should make a group chat? To talk about this weekend?”

“Oh, god,” Namjoon groaned and Yoongi snickered, getting at what he was insinuating. “This is going to get messy.”

Hoseok laughed in agreement. “Exactly! I can’t wait! I’ll make it tonight.” Yoongi’s hand received a familiar warmth. He looked to find Hoseok gazing at him, adoration woven into his smile. He squeezed Yoongi’s hand. “Talk to you in History.”

“Yeah,” Yoongi breathed out, his hand tightening around Hoseok’s before loosening his grip and allowing Hoseok to leave, his eyes never leaving Hoseok’s. “History...” He murmured faintly once Hoseok had quirked his lips into his signature enthused smile and waved goodbye before running out of the courts to meet Taehyung.

There was a brief silence before Namjoon guffawed and then let out a burst of laughter. Yoongi glared at him but couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. “What?” He demanded, struggling to keep down a laugh of his own.

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Namjoon bluffed, his voice coming out in gasps before his laughter sobered. He shot Yoongi a sheepish glance. “It’s just I’ve never seen you so – so...”

“‘So’ what?” Yoongi challenged without threat, his smile imminent.

“So soft,” Namjoon finished, reaching to pinch at Yoongi’s cheeks. Yoongi tried to scowl but feared it came out in a grimace and moved away. “It’s adorable, really. The way he defended you was impeccable! He really likes you, Yoongs.”

Yoongi flushed. “I know. He told me.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows rose and impressive amount of centimetres. “Wow. I’m really glad you’re being open about your feelings. You said it back, right?”

“Of course!” Yoongi defended, and then pretended not to glow when the bell rang as it signalled two whole hours he would be spending with Hoseok.

“So, how far have you two gone?” Namjoon asked casually once the two exited the courts and was out of earshot of any potential eavesdroppers. Yoongi spluttered with shock, his face turning ruddy at the aptness of Namjoon’s questioning. How had Namjoon known?

Namjoon laughed again, poking Yoongi in the ribs. “You don’t have to tell me. It was just so obvious! The way he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, and the way you greeted each other like young lovers – I feel like I’m in a rom-com.”

Yoongi fell silent in mortification, thrown at Namjoon’s interpretation of the briefest of their actions. He was glad that Namjoon’s goal was to become a psychologist; that way Namjoon would be too busy reading other people to pay attention to him. Namjoon’s interpretations of others were no longer a thrill to listen to; they were becoming too accurate. Scarily accurate.

Yoongi hadn’t expected the school day to be that stressful but as he arrived back home with a stack of homework and the lectures from his teachers about applying to the right university, he resigned himself to sitting at his desk the whole night with stress surging through his system.

He had finished his Science homework and had begun researching universities, silently having a breakdown because what the fuck – he had to decide his whole future now? What did he even want to do with his life? Fortunately, his phone began buzzing persistently and distracted him from his existential crises. He checked the caller ID and was pleased to see it was Jeongguk – someone without the pressures of having to decide their fate in a span of a few months.

“Hey,” he answered, grateful for the distraction. A mutilated screech filled his eardrum and he gasped in pain, holding the phone away from his ear. “What the fuck?”

“YoongsIdiditIaskedTaehyungoutIcan’tbelieveIdidthat-”

“Whoa, whoa, what?” Yoongi tried to get Jeongguk to slow down. “Was that even a language? Did you meet up with Taehyung?”

A shuddery breath was breathed into his ear as he leant back on his chair. “Sorry, Yoongs. I kinda don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Start from the beginning,” Yoongi instructed. “Did you go and see Taehyung?”

Jeongguk, on the end of the line, must have collapsed onto a chair as there was a sound of furniture squeaking. “Yes, I did. I was thinking about it the whole day, and I had figured out what I was going to say and everything, but when I met him after school at the bus stop all of the words just – I didn’t know what to say.” Yoongi snorted and Jeongguk shushed him.

“He said that it was nice to talk to me again, and I realised that I had no idea what I was doing but it was okay because I was with him – does that make sense?” Yoongi felt a stirring in his heart as the image of Hoseok flashed across his mind, but he didn’t get a chance to agree as Jeongguk continued on. “So I said, ‘likewise’, and he laughed. Have you ever wanted to drown in someone’s laughter because it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard?” Yet again, Jeongguk didn’t give Yoongi the opportunity to answer affirmatively as he swiftly carried on with his story.

“Tae was really nice from the outset, he paid for my bus ticket to town and he kept telling me stories about his family and stuff that his dog does. It was so calming just sitting there and listening to him, I could have sat there forever. He has this little smile when he remembers something funny, and then he would turn to me and that smile would get bigger and I wanted to kiss so badly him, Yoongs, but I couldn’t.” Yoongi smiled and didn’t dare interject; he knew that feeling all too well and had only first started to experience it a few weeks back.

“So, we get to town and we’re walking so close together – at one point I think he’s trying to hold my hand, but he’s trying to stop my phone from falling out of my pocket. And when we get to the restaurant he holds the door open for me, and I don’t think I’ve ever been in more pain, his smile was – was – ethereal.”

“Oh, nice word,” Yoongi commented, running his eyes over a prestigious university before clicking off the page. There was no way that he would ever acquire the grades to be accepted, he would have to aim lower.

“Thanks, Yoongs. Anyway, after we order he tells me that he’s been wanting to talk to me for a long time – and that he’s ‘really, really, really glad’ that we started talking in the first place, to which I agreed with – but he couldn’t talk for the last few weeks because he was ‘going through a situation’... He told me about Jimin, Yoongs.” Yoongi remained silent, unsure of what to say. “It’s okay, Yoongs, don’t feel bad. I know you couldn’t tell me. But Jimin told Tae that he could tell me, so Tae said that he barely talked to anyone because he was stressing about Jimin. That’s what he said anyway.” Jeongguk didn’t sound convinced.

“You don’t believe him?”

Jeongguk sighed and Yoongi’s phone shuddered at the plosive volume. “I don’t know. I’m not sure, it’s just when he was telling me he seemed... off? Like, there was something else he wasn’t saying. Anyway, he said that he was extremely sorry and that he would do whatever it took to restore what ‘we had’, if I was willing.” There was a note of tension in Jeongguk’s voice and Yoongi tensed in anticipation. “One of the things I noticed was that he didn’t say ‘friendship’ was the only thing we had between us, and I remembered when we went to that club and we were dancing – the waywe were dancing, it just didn’t... It didn’t feel platonic.”

Yoongi hummed in agreement, recalling a fragmented image of how Taehyung and Jeongguk had been practically wrapped around each other on the dance floor.

“So...” Jeongguk started and then let out a nervous bout of laughter. “So, I thought to myself: I want him, and right now I think he wants me, so what do I have to lose? Obviously, I was ignoring the soul-crushing fear of rejection.” Yoongi laughed loudly along with Jeongguk and then silenced himself, looking forward to hearing the continuation.

“I...” Jeongguk sounded hesitant, then he cleared his throat and Yoongi heard the squeak of a chair. “I asked him what sort of things he had in mind to make it up to me, and he said ‘anything’, so...” Yoongi awaited eagerly with baited breath. “I told him, ‘how about you let me take you on a date?”

Yoongi let out a low whistle and Jeongguk laughed into his ear. “I didn’t know you had lines, ‘Guk.”

“Oh, be quiet,” Jeongguk teased. “I haven’t got to the best bit, yet, so don’t interrupt!” Yoongi mock-tutted at Jeongguk’s attitude but abided by his request. “Right, so after I say that – and then wanted to die because that was probably one of the most cringe-y things I’ve ever said – he just looked at me for a solid five seconds before leaning in, and smirking, and he said, ‘how about we not wait and count this as our first date?’”

“Wow,” Yoongi drew out in disbelief, excitement bubbled within him as he imagined Jeongguk’s incredibility towards the whole situation. He was ecstatic that things seemed to be moving forwards between the two of them; they had been smitten for years.

“I know!” Jeongguk practically yelled, his voice breaking. “Somehow I managed not to faint and I said, ‘I’d like that’, and that I’d pay because he paid last time. And then he smiled, and we started talking about everything and anything, really." He paused. "Yoongs,” he started, his voice muffled.

“Yeah?” Yoongi answered, intrigued.

“He told me that Jimin moved back into his parents’ house after he met up with his mum. I think... I think it’s going well for him.” Happiness seeped into Jeongguk’s voice which caused the same emotion to fizz within Yoongi at the news.

“I’m glad to hear that. I was worried,” Yoongi admitted. “I’m really happy for you, ‘Guk, I’m glad that Taehyung feels the same.”

“Well, I don’t really know,” Jeongguk began, his voice hesitant. “We talked about our next date – which is this Sunday, the day after we meet up with Hoseok and all of his friends – but we didn’t talk about our feelings. I don’t know if he feels the same for certain.”

“Oh,” Yoongi floundered, his mind stuck. “Message him.”

“You said the same thing about Chunhei,” Jeongguk chuckled. Yoongi’s mind scampered to place the name with the person and remembered, Jeongguk’s ex-girlfriend. Oh. Right. “It’s impersonal. I’d rather do it in person, so I’ll try on Sunday.”

“Still, it’s something, isn’t it?” Yoongi offered to try and redeem himself. “He turned your meet up into a date and agreed to go on another one. Don’t think about it as getting your hopes up, and think confidently. He likes you, ‘Guk.” It was advice that he wished he could have believed in when Hoseok had first confessed his feelings to him, Yoongi had second-guessed every single one of his own actions when he had begun to like Hoseok back.

He didn’t need to see Jeongguk to know that he was smiling. “Thanks, Yoongs. You’re a good friend.”

Yoongi was sure that the warmth in his chest had nothing to do with the heat radiating from the radiator in his room. He felt extraordinarily blessed by every person he was surrounded by. Yoongi longed for a future where it could be so, him and Hoseok happy together, along with Namjoon, Seokjin, Jeongguk and Taehyung. It felt right. Like it was meant to be.

(Jung Hoseok formed a chat) (Jung Hoseok has invited you, Kim Taehyung, Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Jeon Jeongguk and Park Jimin to the chat.) (Jung Hoseok has named the chat: saturdays loser-fest)

Kim Seokjin: I’m not a loser :(

(Jung Hoseok has named the chat: saturdays cool-fest minus Jin cuz he’s a loser)

Kim Seokjin: we haven’t spoken in a month and this is how you treat me?

Jung Hoseok: maybe if u werent such a loser id be nicer :)

Kim Seokjin: It’s been a month and you haven’t learnt grammar. This makes me sad

Kim Namjoon: I can’t believe you ever held such grand expectations for him.

Kim Seokjin: I didn’t, I lied ;)

Jung Hoseok: GET A ROOM!!!!!!!!!! Jung Hoseok: and RUDE!!!! :(

Kim Seokjin: We were on our own chatROOM until you interrupted us!

Jung Hoseok: fine go back to it then i didnt wanna see u this saturday anyway :)

Kim Namjoon: I take personal offence.

Jung Hoseok: Namjoon pls stop with the fullstops it makes me nervous

Kim Namjoon: Why.?. Kim Namjoon: Does grammar offend you so badly?. Kim Namjoon: .

Jung Hoseok: i rate you the worst out of yoongs friends

Kim Namjoon: :(

Kim Seokjin: hey, back off of my man!

Jung Hoseok: thats not how young ppl talk

Kim Seokjin: Okay, now I remember why I didn’t talk to you for a month

Jung Hoseok: ????? why ever not im an angel :)

Min Yoongi: you’re really not

Kim Namjoon: ooooohh drama

Kim Seokjin: brb I’m getting popcorn

Jung Hoseok: u guys are officially the worst, u deserve each other Jung Hoseok: yoongs why are u being mean????? :(

Jeon Jeongguk: Hoseok, why can’t you type?

Kim Seokjin: OOOOH! SHOTS FIRED

Jung Hoseok: again thATS NOT HOW YOUNG PPL TALK!!!!!!!!!!!

Kim Seokjin: Joon, please hit him when you see him tomorrow

Kim Namjoon: Will do, I’ll defend your honour

Jeon Jeongguk: Just a warning for Joon, if you send any of your poetry on this group chat, I’m leaving

Jung Hoseok: POETRY????? JIN U DIDN’T TELL ME THIS Jung Hoseok: also don’t worry Jeongguk ill kick them out if they do

Kim Seokjin: It’s not my job to tell you every detail of our relationship, dear :)

Kim Namjoon: You just confirmed it on purpose, didn’t you?

Kim Seokjin: maybe :) Kim Seokin: maybe I want everyone to know how sweet my boyfriend is :)

Kim Namjoon: the amount of smiley-faces tells me otherwise, it tells me you want me to suffer.

Jung Hoseok: NAMJOON PLEASE STOP WITH THE STOPS Jung Hoseok: yoongs don’t think i cant see u lurking and not replying to my question: why am i not an angel????

Min Yoongi: I was just reading the messages

Jung Hoseok: did u see them all ganging up against me?????

Min Yoongi: yeah

Jung Hoseok: :)

Min Yoongi: I laughed

Jung Hoseok: :(

Kim Seokjin: PAWWWWNED

Jung Hoseok: i will kill you

Kim Namjoon: and I won’t stop him.

Kim Seokjin: Why is my boyfriend so mean?

Jung Hoseok: why is MY boyfriend so mean??????? :(

Jeon Jeongguk: wait, are you guys officially dating?

Min Yoongi: oh, shit, Guk, I’m sorry Min Yoongi: I didn’t tell you Min Yoongi: I’ll tell you why on private

Jung Hoseok: oops Jung Hoseok: did i fuck up???

Min Yoongi: No, Seok, don’t worry, it’s my fault Min Yoongi: I’ll be back soon

Jung Hoseok: ill miss u

Kim Seokjin: GET A ROOM!

Kim Namjoon: GET A ROOM!

Kim Seokjin: Joon, care to explain why you’re stealing my words?

Kim Namjoon: That freaked me out, too. Kim Namjoon: Maybe it’s because I know you so well?

Kim Taehyung: I come online to find everyone flirting, can I join in?

Kim Seokjin: No

Kim Taehyung: ...t a problem??? WOW THANKS! <3 Kim Taehyung: Seok you looked really nice today ;) Kim Taehyung: Jin I didnt see you but I assume you looked nice today ;)

Kim Seokjin: Is this how you flirt with that kid you told me about a year back? It’s disgusting

Jung Hoseok: Jin can u send us some poetry that Namjoon sent u Jung Hoseok: Namjoon do I have permission to call u Joon cuz we’re defo gonna be bonding after this

Kim Namjoon: Jin, if you do that I will break up with you. Kim Namjoon: You can, but that sounded very ominous.

Jung Hoseok: omfg no please dont break up Joon might write some sad poetry:(

Kim Namjoon: Any chance of us becoming close just crumbled away.

Jung Hoseok: im sorry!!!!!

Kim Taehyung: Seok, why dont you tell everyone that haiku you wrote about Yoongi in the fourth year?

Jung Hoseok: i fucking hate u Kim Taehyung

Kim Taehyung: thats a shame because I love you <33333

Kim Namjoon: Oh? You know what, Hoseok, you should share your haiku.

Jung Hoseok: JIGKW I HATE U ALL Jung Hoseok: u know what??? Fine, I will!!! Im not ashamed of it because I love Jung Hoseok: love it Jung Hoseok: I love the haiku because it’s nostalgic Jung Hoseok: and im not ashamed of it being about yoongs because yoongs is my bae

Kim Seokjin: That’s not how young people talk

Jung Hoseok: I curse you and your work-out routine

Kim Taehyung: omg, Seok do you still have it??

Jung Hoseok: should do Jung Hoseok: but heres the deal!!! Jung Hoseok: if I send the haiku, Jin sends one of the poems Joon wrote for him!!!

Kim Taehyung: oooOOH I love this!!!

Kim Namjoon: Jin. If you want me to come to yours on Sunday you will not give in.

Kim Seokjin: (Picture attachment) Kim Seokjin: Oops! My hand slipped!

Kim Namjoon: WHY.

Jung Hoseok: O H MY GODODODO Jung Hoseok: ARE U SEEING THIS TAE???

Kim Taehyung: sorry, I blacked out after, ‘you’re the only one, it’s you my heart has won’

Jung Hoseok: (Picture attachment) Jung Hoseok: ACTUAL PICTURE OF ME RN

Kim Taehyung: oh MY GOD, ARE YOU CRYING???

Jung Hoseok: OF LAUGHTER

Kim Taehyung: I’m so glad! I was gonna say if you liked this you’re so weird

Kim Seokjin: Oh? Really now?

Kim Taehyung: SHIT

Kim Namjoon: For the record, I wrote that a year ago.

Kim Taehyung: I’m sure you can do loads better now!

Jung Hoseok: omg tae are u trying to win Joons favour? JIN!! TAES TRYING TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!

Kim Seokjin: Put your hands up, Tae!

Kim Taehyung: NEVER! Kim Taehyung: while we’re here, the real question is: Jin, did you ever write poems back?

Jung Hoseok: there is silence Jung Hoseok: OJIGKN HE DID!!!

Min Yoongi: We’re back Min Yoongi: What’s going on?

Jung Hoseok: yoongs I missed u Jung Hoseok: SCROLL BACK UP OKRGLW

Min Yoongi: I missed you, too Min Yoongi: Okay

Kim Taehyung: holy shit, you two are married

Jeon Jeongguk: you two are so whipped

Jung Hoseok: whOA, the telepathy twins are here!!!!

Kim Taehyung: hey, ‘Guk :)

Jeon Jeongguk: hey, Tae

Jung Hoseok: is it just me OR IS IT GETTING STEAMY IN HERE

Kim Taehyung: Hoseok shut up.

Jung Hoseok: oh sorry

Kim Seokjin: Joon, you still are coming to mine this Sunday, right?

Kim Namjoon: It depends.

Kim Seokjin: On?

Kim Namjoon: Will you wear what I bought you?

Jung Hoseok: O EWIUFJKNK

Jeon Jeongguk: Is this kinky? I think it’s kinky

Kim Seokjin: Of course, I’ll wear it

Kim Namjoon: Then I’m all yours

Kim Seokjin: I’m yours

Jung Hoseok: WOW OH JEEZ PEOPLE WE HAVE MINORS HERE Jung Hoseok: Jeongguk look away!!!!

Kim Namjoon: It backfired, Hoseok. My poems worked.

Jung Hoseok: ?????

Kim Namjoon: Question, Hoseok: Did your haiku get you laid?

Jung Hoseok: O MY GODDDDOOODOD

Min Yoongi: it might

Jung Hoseok: YOONGS GET OFF THE CHAT NOW

Kim Seokjin: I think he’d rather get you off, Seok

Jung Hoseok: choke. Actually choke

Kim Namjoon: Oh, I’ve got that covered.

Kim Taehyung: I feel like I’m reading R 18 smut

Jeon Jeongguk: Am I watching porn right now?

Kim Taehyung: oh

Jeon Jeongguk: hi again

Kim Taehyung: we need to stop doing this hahaha :)

Jeon Jeongguk: We should, but I guess our minds are connected now hahaha

Jung Hoseok: IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE Jung Hoseok: YOONGS???

Min Yoongi: yes?

Kim Seokjin: Now your boyfriend’s here, Seok, I think it’s only fair you keep your part of the bargain and send your haiku :)

Kim Namjoon: God, I love you, babe.

Jung Hoseok: ok i think this its time that u two GO AWAY

Kim Namjoon: Never.

Min Yoongi: Seok, you should always keep your word

Kim Seokjin: Yoongi, I don’t know you very well, but I love you Kim Seokjin: [your picture is so cute, by the way, I can see why Seok likes you :)]

Jung Hoseok: ummm excuse me but stop flirting with my boyfriend!!!! Jung Hoseok: also yoongs is so much more than his beautiful appearance u loser

Min Yoongi: Thanks, Seokjin Min Yoongi: You were always the most handsome guy in your year, I remember that Min Yoongi: Also, Seok, trying to butter me up won’t change anything Min Yoongi: you owe me a three year old haiku

Kim Seokjin: aww, you know just what to say, thank you :)

Kim Taehyung: Seok, listen to your boyfriend and send it

Jeon Jeongguk: I agree, please do

Kim Namjoon: Do it. Kim Namjoon: Yoongs, make a threat.

Min Yoongi: If Seok doesn’t actually want to send it, he doesn’t have to Min Yoongi: I don’t want to make a threat

Jung Hoseok: SORRY IM BACK I FOUND IT Jung Hoseok: (Picture attachment) Jung Hoseok: aww yoongs its fine i want the people to see how much I love Jung Hoseok: love this haiku and the memories it brings :’)

Kim Taehyung: what the hell, Seok Kim Taehyung: I don’t remember it being this sweet??

Jeon Jeongguk: that was actually pretty good, Hoseok

Kim Seokjin: Jung Hoseok. You never told me about this talent! Kim Seokjin: It’s good, isn’t it, Joon?

Kim Namjoon: I’m Kim Namjoon: You

Kim Taehyung: SEOK! I THINK YOU BROKE NAMJOON!!

Jeon Jeongguk: Namjoon is currently malfunctioning Jeon Jeongguk: Okay, we need to stop saying the same thing

Kim Taehyung: hahahaha :)

Kim Namjoon: That was good. Kim Namjoon: I’m being serious, Seok – can I call you that? Kim Namjoon: That was three years ago and you liked Yoongs that much?

Jung Hoseok: wait what really all of u like it Jung Hoseok: ????? Jung Hoseok: ah sorry yes Joon you can call me Seok Jung Hoseok: i cant believe this oh wowooo

Min Yoongi: Hoseok

Jung Hoseok: oh god

Kim Taehyung: THE FINAL JUDGEMENT IS HERE PEOPLE

Jung Hoseok: hi yoongs Jung Hoseok: please don’t dump me im so sorry its so cringey and really weird

Min Yoongi: I love Min Yoongi: it Min Yoongi: your haiku was really good Min Yoongi: I’m really impressed Min Yoongi: I didn’t know you could write like that

Jung Hoseok: oh Jung Hoseok: you really liked it?? Jung Hoseok: that makes me so happy

Min Yoongi: I didn’t know you felt that strongly back then Min Yoongi: I don’t really know what to say Min Yoongi: I wish I could repay you

Kim Taehyung: Um Namjoon

Jeon Jeongguk: It looks like the haiku CAN get Hoseok laid

Kim Taehyung: ‘Guk I’m convinced that we were separated at birth

Kim Seokjin: I think that would be incest

Kim Namjoon: Maybe I should start writing haiku’s.

Kim Seokjin: You don’t need to do that to get laid, just say the word Kim Seokjin: Where’s Seok?

Kim Namjoon: You can’t just say things like that and expect to get away with it.

Jeon Jeongguk: this is getting kinky again

Jung Hoseok: Yoongs, you honestly don’t need to do anything in return, having you is enough already, I’ve got everything I’ve wanted for seven years and that’s never going to change. It means so much to me that you like my cringey haiku, it means so much to me that you care about my feelings when you said I didn’t have to send it. You mean so much to me, I want you to know that, Yoongs, and I can’t wait for our first date next Saturday, I really hope you’ll like it. And I was thinking that if you still wanted to, you could come to mine on the Sunday after the date? I’ll do something about my parents and my sister, so it’ll just be us. I want you in my room, Yoongs, I want you on my bed and I never want you to leave

Kim Taehyung: UM

Jung Hoseok: IWOPJWEK OH MY GOD Jung Hoseok: WRONG CHAT HOLY SHIT Jung Hoseok: I WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO SEND THE SECOND PART OF THAT MESSAGE Jung Hoseok: TAE YOU SAVED MY LIFE

Kim Taehyung: there wasn’t much to save Kim Taehyung: I need to clean my eyes

Kim Seokjin: Joon, forget about the haiku’s and the dirty poems, can you write smut like Seok was about to?

Kim Namjoon: Why write it when I can do it to you, babe?

Jung Hoseok: I HATE YOU GUYS OMFG YOONGS IM SO SORRY Jung Hoseok: YOONGS CAN U EVER FORGIVE ME

Min Yoongi: Seok Min Yoongi: I just got your other message Min Yoongi: Go onto private Min Yoongi: Now

Jung Hoseok: oh god yes

Kim Taehyung: oh, that’s disgusting

Jeon Jeongguk: gross

Kim Seokjin: Joon

Kim Namjoon: Yes, baby?

Kim Seokjin: Private, now, please? :)

Kim Namjoon: Finally.

Jeon Jeongguk: is it just us left?

Kim Taehyung: And Jimin, but I don’t think he’s been using his phone

Jeon Jeongguk: Oh, I see Jeon Jeongguk: No one even talked about the time we’re supposed to be meeting up at

Kim Taehyung: They’re hopeless Kim Taehyung: It’s up to us! What time are you free?

Jeon Jeongguk: We should all go for lunch, so I’m free at 12 :)

Kim Taehyung: okay, 12 it is

Jeon Jeongguk: Are you definitely free then?

Kim Taehyung: I have this thing, but I can reschedule

Jeon Jeongguk: are you sure?

Kim Taehyung: yeah, definitely Kim Taehyung: if you’re coming then I definitely am not gonna miss it

Jeon Jeongguk: :) Jeon Jeongguk: are we still on for Sunday then?

Kim Taehyung: I wouldn’t miss it for the world <3

[wreckthelist]

on ‘BE’ing here: part i

rambling of sorts on Grammy nominated artist Bangtan Sonyeondan

(note 1: I was planning to complete this the day of the nomination, but judging from the state of how things are - this right here is the opportune moment to, as my friend Mint had put it, clear out whatever I’ve been wanting to do but didn’t get the time to)

When Spotify announced, loud and clear, on that 2020 Year-End summary instagram story, Dynamite was the song that helped me through 2020 (this fuck-up of a year), that wasn’t an understatement.

I’ve seen Bangtan before, heard of them in passing, even (slightly, really slightly - when you’re hanging out in film-dom or western doms, I doubt you’d come in contact with a full-fledged Korean dom as it is, or perhaps my circles were small and quite closed in on themselves. Regardless!) - and opened that Boy With Luv SNL performance for my parents on the TV in the living room, not long after they went on the show. But it took that one song, one full English song, for me to listen.

(sorry and thank you Namjoon for that diss. Yes, the song’s message’s definitely digestible and easy to consume - for foreign, western audiences. No one much had to care what you guys had to say way back when and they were wrong for it.)

Dynamite pretty much saved my life. (Still waiting for that damn vinyl, BigHit. Think I’ll get it come new year’s.) 

The first time I started listening, I couldn’t really stop. I think I played and replayed and replayed the song 20++ times as I did mundane household chores which were asked of me in the morning. Sunday August 24th, my life was transformed (and my digital and physical wallets along with it. Sobs.)

I had no idea who was singing which part, no idea which boy was which, but what got me in, locked and loaded and in place, were the beats, the uplifting sounds that got me dancing again after a messy heartbreak caused by a personification of immaturity who had refused to let go. I was only one week into my new job (old job again now. Such is the way of life - and we lead separate ones now, no reason to cry over invisible lives and imagined smiles or smirks of satisfactions I am not in any current position privy to - or will ever be. Thank God.) 

Then there were the messages - the lyrics - “I’m diamond, you know I glow up.” - I mean, Yes, Fucking YES - Kim Seokjin, of course I’m a piece of precious Jewel. Of course I am one and whole of myself and one of a kind (apologies for being cliches, felt good to type out loud right). Asked on Twitter who the “other black-haired” guy was and learned that it was Hobi. Spent time watching a couple of interviews, took 3 hours to tell the boys apart (”You had a lot of free time,” Shareef said, amused, and I quite abashedly admitted to him yes.), and picked him as my bias (little did I know).

I was attracted (still am) to sunshine. I needed smiles and laughters like his in my life. He stood out to me in almost every interview, beaming with his heart-shaped lips and his eternal catchphrase - “I’m your hope.” I was exactly at that point in my life when I needed to hear that. From him, in that voice, from those lips, with those eyes.

And I thought, dear god. I’m always attracted to guys who bring smiles to my face. Of course it has to be him.

(Natalie replied “You’ve joined the party!” in a reply to my screencap of Taehyung wearing those adorable black-rimmed glasses on Stephen Colbert not long after. 

That Beatles-Boy With Luv performance remains one of my favorites.)

Bangtan has since performed and performed and performed Dynamite, and to this day I and the rest of the fandom have witnessed and seen about 30++ performances of Dynamite, and it has yet to grow old on us. (Well.) I swear I can still play the song at least once a day, and that irresistible bubble of hope in Jungkook’s voice in the opening simply shines through. The rest of the song just does its magic - every single time.

I mean, “Life is sweet as honey,” “I’m in the stars tonight,”? Talk about hope, about confidence, looking forward. Straight and simple as that. I had yet to discover what BTS truly has in store.

Note 2: My favorite dance move in the performance itself is Hoseok’s, for the Japanese taping (FNS Music Festival) right here. 

After Dynamite, I burned through the usual favorites, seeing as there was a literal treasure trove of Bangtan songs to discover and listen to, thanks also to this chart.

Go Go and Pied Piper are fun teases to listen to every now and then. Their Halloween dance practice and MNet countdown (I could die over Tae’s clear-rimmed glasses) are bundles of colorful energy. (Until I came across Lotte 2018 Jungkook?! Adding Best of Me here because it’s become a recent favorite. Dance moves are impeccable. There was a stint in my life where I was watching the Airplane Pt. 2 MV almost every day because of how in love I was over Taehyung’s whole look - pink hair, flowing robes, and how the boys pull off their outfits. )

I proceeded mainly through the orange branch, bought myself a few Love Yourself albums along the way, and the day I saw this Min Yoongi in In the Soop, my Bangtan life took a turn.

Yep. Simplicity.

What’s not to fall in love with?

One of my current, low-ranking regrets may include having forgotten the exact moment I first listened to Trivia: 轉 Seesaw, but I fell hard and deep. To that point of no return when I read the lyrics and that analogy Yoongi had penned.

I mean, add Autumn Leaves (the complexity of layered notes, beats, and resulting emotions... ah) and you’ve got this king of breakup songs right here.

What beautiful words, what gorgeous language. I wish I could learn Korean just to fully appreciate the message.

Another friend recommended me Butterfly and I lost my shit realizing they referenced Murakami.

More obscure songs like 134340, Paradise and Sea I didn’t get to till much later. Whalien 52 could make me cry just with the lyrics alone (I doubt my exes had ever felt that level of emotional toward me - the more tragic thing is that the doubt would always exist). Just One Day was that track I had on loop this one afternoon I had to go into town for a dinner party, and Miss Right was an accidental discovery that had me grinning and blushing to the boys’ voices alone, same as 21st Century Girl (’Cause you’re my only girl, oh yea. If you love me, just say it straight. We love a confident but committed guy.) 

*Dope is that one MV I waited to watch because of my love of uniforms and managed to get to on a day I could not recall.

*This MIC Drop MAMA performance is the hottest clothes-on, turn on performance I’ve ever watched.

Coffee was the track I first listened to on a drive back from a rather unsuccessful and uneventful beach (bitch?!) trip, and the bitter nostalgia cut me deep. Jungkook’s voice could string up my soul any day of the week. Yes, baby, I still drink Caramel Macchiato every time I think of you - the song, not the person, or any person at all.

I discovered HOME because of this comfy Kimmel performance and died over the camaraderie and obvious ties they have as a family.

Plus a blue-themed home, uh, have you seen my bedroom, sir?

Boy With Luv will cheer me up any time of day - no thoughts but blue haired Tae and bubblegum pink haired #Jimim, indeed. (That mirroring of a glow-up from the 상 남자 of Boy In Luv is genius. Girl, ‘m not begging for you no more, but letting you know that I’m whole and ready and intent on keeping you safe.)

Spring Day I listened to on an off day in October and wrenched my own heart over the lyrics, even starting off a chapter in one of my fics with the verses that hit me most in particular.

The ON:E concert re-introduced me properly to Filter, My Time (sexy personified as a performance), Persona, Interlude: Shadow, Ego, UGH!, Moon (Prince Kim Seokjin - you have my heart, and my light, always), and 00:00 (picked up through Twitter that it was the song for personal therapy and reminded me of that quote - nothing good ever happens between midnight and 2am, go to sleep. Add 2!3!, which I’d properly listened to after viewing the ON:E exhibit, to this and we are done.) 

It wasn’t until I listened to Blood, Sweat, and Tears that I went full-blown head over heels (more than I was before). I’m a musical theater kid, have always been at heart, and those boys dancing in the suits and literature and arts references. You could have just plunged that knife a bit deeper into my heart.

Needless to say that I bought Demian couple of days after (my 3rd Herman Hesse! Regrettably not my favorite.) 

Blood, Sweat and Tears joins my own mini self-compilation of songs on the attraction and sublime relishing of a toxic relationship. That sweet temptation that’s so lush in theory yet acidic in real life.

You’re willing to give it all to this person, this passion, this love, this lure of attraction, imprisonment, and just lose yourself.

You’re begging to be hurt, even when you know it.

You’re asking to stay bathed in acid, drown yourself in punishment, and you’re okay. As long as the “you” in the lyrics is ok - to have you.

You’ve signed over your mind, your body and soul - “I know well they’re all yours” - what sinful admittance, what a delicious way to say you’re under the other’s spell. Not like I haven’t been there before (fitting to think of Jimin holding that apple. God.)

“Peaches and Cream/Sweeter than Sweet/Chocolate Cheeks and Chocolate Wings” - talk about dessert, about diabetic, diabolical sweetness that both indulge and burn your soul. These are saccharine metaphors and goddamn if I wasn’t and am all over them. 

Sweet as they are, they melt - they expire, they’re tangible but transient, and you’ve chosen to have them anyway, just to taste them, just to know, to satisfy your sense and just to possess.

“There is a ‘bitter’ next to your ‘sweet’“ - this is my kind of writing. My kind of getting your sweet now and being punished for it later, the kind my friend had commented before of living for today and choosing to forgo the punishments of tomorrow that you’re all too aware of.

And here comes Hoseok! 

Kiss me, it's okay if it hurts Just make it as tight As that I can't feel the pain anymore

Goddamn. That Blade Runner 2049 phrase about how pain makes you human - this is next level of hurting just so you could feel. This is hurting to know that it’s real - that the ‘you’ exists - and this “tightness”, this tense sensation, is only reminding you that the lover(?) is worth the pain (grit your teeth and continue!)

Baby, it's okay if I get drunk I'll drink you in deep now Deep into my throat The whiskey that is you

Intoxication - another one of my favorite topics sprouting a platitude of interpretations. Aside from being a sucker (and loving it myself) of saying “baby,” (signaling intimacy, no less) - this is an artful, eloquent way to sketch another version of “love is the/a drug,” which the lover/”you” is consciously consuming with consent.

There’s a repeat in the “d’s” that definitely conjures an imagery of diving deeper and deeper into a bottomless abyss, or of drinking your bottles dry - but this is a translation so that’s that.

But where we have been (or were) in love, we could feel the other person intoxicating, consuming us, consuming our senses, straying our conscience, blurring the lines among reality, reasoning and our own thoughts and what they may have driven us to think or view, just like alcohol or drugs would lead you to do. That inebriated state would be just a self-enriching cycle of docile submission and self-driven continuance.

It doesn't matter if it hurts Tie me up so I can't escape Hold me tight and shake me up So that I can't come to my senses

Like Jimin with the cloth over his eyes in the MV, this is another conscious decision to be held imprisoned, bounded, senses so disrupted you’re choosing to stay. I don’t know about you, but there’s an inkling of weakness in me when I’d chosen to do that, to opt for that choice and stay in something I was fully aware from experience wasn’t going to last (’can’t come to my senses’) but choosing to blind myself to indulge in the fleeting sweetness anyway.

When you’re making that firm and persistent decision to beg for pain and consciously choosing to numb your senses so you could feel nothing else but what you may have thought you desire to feel - you’ve got it bad, baby. That absinth’s hit you hard.

(And we love it.)

Kiss me on the lips A secret just between the two of us Deeply poisoned by the jail of you I cannot worship anyone but you and I knew The grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway 

Yoongi’s “Kiss me”, like his “불타오르네” (and obviously “용서해줄게“)  in Fire may as well linger in my ears as my personal on-demand whisper sounds. His voice is that sexy as fuck ASMR I never knew I needed (and queue Ben Whishaw’s...) 

Here we see “poisoned” harking back to intoxication, and “jail of you,” calling back to the whole verse I’d interpreted above before. What interested me here was the couplet - “Kiss me on the lips/a secret just between the two of us” - kissing as an act of sealing a deal or secret reminds me of age old love songs, of promises made between lovers before they part. Not to mention, this is that sexy, 섹시한  way of “sealing the deal” you may have heard about. 

“I cannot worship anyone but you...” holds the lover up high, almost godlike, maybe on a pedestal. It’s that everest, that peak point when you’re more than head over heels in love, when you’re able to see no one but this person. “Worship” is that word signaling holy, direct, and submissive devotion - just powerful. 

“...and I knew/The grail was poisoned but I drank it anyway” - again the voice of submission in line with above verses, submitting yourself to temptation, same as biting into that apple despite knowing consequences. “Grail” embodies the whole MV image of the classics.

Close my eyes with your caress I can't resist it anyway I can't even escape anymore

You are too sweet, too sweet Because you are too sweet

“Close my eyes” is the same as asking to be blinded (see above). Adding “with your caress” only enhances the intensity of the speaker’s desire, of the intimate and physical nature - you know full well what that person does to you, your heart, conscience, and senses with just one simple touch or the trace of a finger on your skin - especially someone as addicted to skinship as I am. The repetition “You are too sweet...”  brings us back full circle to Namjoon’s dessert verses, intoxication, indulgence, and submission.

What a delicious song. I fall in love every time I listen.

Second song in my trilogy is Love Maze - an intoxication of a different, lighter flavor yet still an an intoxication nevertheless.

Trapped in a maze of decisions Exhausted by all the different chaos We’ve wandered around, looking for the answer Lost in the maze, in the darkness

Jimin’s first verse traverses over the trials and tribulations of every day life - naturally we’re caught in decision-making from the moment we open our eyes (ah, sigh. my major. what the hell), and that, in extreme cases, can escalate to choice paralysis). Life is a mess, to say simply. At times you can feel (and you are) lost in some sort of maze which seems impossible to escape from. 

[Verse 2: Jungkook] We ran and ran endlessly But all the fake noise Can’t tear us apart It’s true baby [Refrain: Jimin, Jin] We must believe only in ourselves Can’t let go of each other’s hands We need to be together forever

And now this is just asking your partner to hold your hand throughout the darkness, holding hands while the walls come tumbling down type of way.

[Verse 3: RM] People say That I’ll end up a fool But I don’t wanna use my head I don’t wanna calculate Love ain’t a business Rather like a fitness I’ve never been in a calculating love I know it’ll be cold like winter But I still wanna try

Yup, sure. Love isn’t logical, and we feel it when we feel it. This is a more considered version of love or succumbing to temptation/infatuation, compared to Blood, Sweat, and Tears, see here:

If you push me, I’ll fall, just raise me up again Even if I pull, you don’t have to come

Upon a close look, this is the more confident, the more ‘out-there’ you - like a rocking doll, a full human ready to get back up on its own once fallen, not a blind follower or submissive slave. What I find particularly captivating is the bottom verse - “Even if I pull, you don’t have to come” - this is a show and declaration of independence at its finest. I’ll woo you, I’ll say I want you, and I’ll grab you toward me, but you “don’t have to” be with me, [if you don’t want to.] (Plays I’m Fine)

No matter what others say, don’t listen Just let’em talk, whatever they say The more they do, the more I’m sure

Honestly this reminded me of a past relationship, where figurative hand-holding was the emphasized union to help us make it through. Would have been half the fight if it was that aspect alone, though.

Baby just don’t give a damn

This is the sentence I sing to every single time I play this aloud. The sentence.

I always think, even if eternity is hard I wanna try it, let’s be forever

My ex once asked, “How long is forever?” just ripping off that sign in a mall we walked past, and yes, that’s what I do remember about us. Part of it. Since then, mentions of eternity like this has always hit me.

And forever doesn’t exist, guys. COVID does.

(Bad joke, sorry.) 

The song that completes the trilogy is one I discovered only last week. My last BTS x Steve Aoki crossover: Waste It On Me. 

Queue neon club lights and bad decision drinks. Kook being Kook, his voice in songs like these, House of Cards, and Savage Love slices you right through, like a young, impressionable boy asking you to give this love a try, to forget yourself in being attracted to him, and to waste the time you aware you’re willing to waste on him:

[Verse 1: Jungkook] You say love is messed up You say that it don't work But, you don't wanna try, no, no (You don't wanna try, no, no) And baby, I'm no stranger To heartbreak and the pain of Always being let go (Always being let go)

This verse, man. When your heart’s rusty and battered and beaten and broken enough, “Baby, I’m no stranger/to heartbreak and the pain of always being let go,” is that overwhelming elixir to slosh it altogether, like soaking your lone damn heart in warm bathwater, and with Jungkook’s inviting voice, you may have added your favorite flavor of Lush bathbomb.

[Pre-Chorus: Jungkook, RM & Jimin] And I know there's no making this right, this right (This right) And I know there's no changing your mind, your mind (Your mind) But we both found each other tonight, tonight (Oh yeah) So if love is nothing more than just a waste of your time

It’s that exact moment when it’s the night of your birthday, you’re all dressed up with only one place to go in a town where you knew a handful of people, and the guy at the bar had bought you a shot of mysterious substance to drink. So you’re here. So he’s here. And the drink’s here, between you two, and you’ve downed it in. And you’re here.

So why not?

‘Waste it on me’ is a sexy invitation in itself, that momentarily grasp for pleasure. Ok, yea. I’m all yours. 

Tonight.

[Verse 2: RM] So we don't gotta go there Past lovers and warfare It's just you and me now (Yeah, yeah) I don't know your secrets But I'll pick up the pieces Pull you close to me now (Yeah, yeah)

Namjoon’s voice has always been sexy to me. Masculine, dominating, in control, in the same way that Yoongi’s raspy, gravelly voice grabs you and stubbornly holds you close. 

Maybe this guy you’d just met in a club’s blabbering away to pierce who you may have been or who you’re presenting yourself to be just for you to be with him, and takes ahold of your waist before you could say no.

What do you say?

Yay, don't you think there must be a reason? Yeah, like we had our names Don't you think we got another season That come after spring? I wanna be your summer I wanna be your wave Treat me like a comma I'll take you to a new phrase Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away If I'm not your taste, babe, waste Waste it on me

I’m speechless over the “Treat me like a comma, I’ll take you to a new phrase,” wordplay. Most of all, it illustrated my past relationship in that all too on-the-nose way, for me and him both. English is sexy, man, please don’t ever say it isn’t.

“Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away/If I’m not your taste, babe.” I’m partial to babe as much as baby, let’s be real. Haha. The whole “come just eat me” paints that picture of the speaker being “consumed,” just devoured whole (echoing the earlier image of being “washed over” from “I wanna be your wave”) by the to-be-lover, without a care, a giving-himself-away submission reminiscent of Blood, Sweat, and Tears’ intoxication and blind bondage. The speaker here doesn’t even care if he’s not tailored to the ‘lover’s’ desire, ready to be discarded, treating himself here as disposable, even worse than Love Maze’s partnered hopefulness and teamwork or Blood, Sweat and Tears’ irresistible, spellbound attraction.

Aaand there you have it, my ramblings on Bangtan (as of now). There’s just so, so much - I’ve recently received my HYYH Pt.1 (RIMBAUD! SEXY CONVERSE!!! BOYZ with FUN!) and YNWA albums, not to mention my rap line songs, vocal line, In the Soop, Performance details, Run BTS (source of joy and laughter, more than any man has ever affected me), Premiums, and the whole “Love Yourself” concept + B.E. Itself.

I’ll be sure to pop back in very, very soon!

x

[lubdubsworld]

Amor Vincit Omnia ( 4/20)

Yoongi / Oc Gang Au. 

Chapter 4 

"Water." I croaked out , the moment I opened my eyes. My throat was so dry I was going to throw up. The room was too bright and the blanket too warm against my skin. I felt sweaty and achy and all-around miserable. It took me a few seconds to realize I wasn't in the hospital anymore. I was in my bed. My husband's bed, in the penthouse.

"You're awake?"

Yoongi's voice startled me so badly I dug my finger nails into my palm.

"I... " I stopped and swallowed. He looked very compelling in a white shirt and one of those thin ties . His perfectly tailored slacks made him loom over me, hands tucked into the pockets as he came to stand next to the bed, staring down at me with an expression that was guarded and impossible to interpret. Too tired to play mind games , I shut my eyes.

"Don't worry. It's just a bruised rib. You'll be fine in a week or so." He said softly, staring unblinkingly down at me. I hesitated and then finally gathered my senses.

"I need water." I said. He nodded and went to the table, pouring some into a cut glass. He came over to the bed and I realized that I had no energy to sit up. But he was already sitting down on the bed next to me, slipping an arm around my waist and helping me sit up. When I began raising myself up, the blanket on me slipped down and cold air hit my breasts.

It took me a second to realize that I was naked from the waist up and the blanket was slipping down . I yelped and jumped, knocking the glass out of his hand in my rush to grab the blanket and preserve my modesty. But the sharp movement jolted my ribs badly and Yoongi's arms tightened around my bare shoulders.

"Easy...Easy...i got you..." He was suffocatingly close, his scent practically smothering me like a funeral shroud. Why did he keep saying that he got me??

"My clothes...I.." I choked out and he immediately let me go, jumping a bit and moving away, finally noticing that I wasn't dressed.

"Fuck..I'm sorry...I... hold on." He stepped away and walked right out of the room.

I was still thirsty and I stared after him in confusion and misery. But a few seconds later someone else came in. A young woman, maybe a few years older than Yoongi. She looked a lot like him I realized.

"Hello there Ji Soo ssi... How're you feeling? " She smiled brightly and it was the same breathtaking smile.

"I...I need some water." I said quickly. she nodded and quickly poured me a glass and helped me drink it. Then she went to the dresser and returned with a bikini bra and a see through white top that was about three sizes too big for me. But I didn't complain. The loose fabric kept the pressure off my ribs and was easy to slip on.

"I'm Min Hyo Rin. Yoongi's cousin." She smiled. I nodded quickly. I glanced quickly at my finger and my wrist. No ring or watch.

"My jewelry.." I said nervously and she looked surprised.

"Oh Yoongi put them back in your box. You won't be going out for a while so don't worry too much about it. " she smiled. A knock on the door made both of us look up. it was Yoongi again, now with a blazer over his shirt. He gave Hyo Rin a look.

"Can I have a word with her?" He said gruffly and She immediately stood and bowed before quietly slipping out. I missed her already. It had been so many years since a lady had been nice to me.

"How are you feeling?" Yoongi said, glancing at the bed as though deciding whether he should sit down or not. Finally he decided against it but to my complete shock, he sank to his knees next to me, elbow resting on my pillow as he looked at me.

Min Yoongi in a tux and on his knees near my bed was just all sorts of wrong and I turned away, my entire body heating up in discomfort. He reached out to touch my face and I jumped and moved away quickly. He immediately drew back, looking flustered.

" Can you tell me what happened?" He said finally.

I hesitated. It was such a simple question but I couldn't think of anything to say. What happened really? What did i do wrong? I didn't know. I'd never known.

Finally I shook my head .

"Okay. That's alright. You're okay now. You don't have to see him again." He said softly. I stared at him.

"When am I getting my divorce?" I said finally. He sighed and stood up.

"We'll talk about this when you get better. Sleep well." He said brusquely. Before I could protest, he turned around and stalked away.

"I hope you'll accept my apologies. But I really couldn't hide it from Yoongi. Come on, he's your husband. " Nam Joon said briskly, putting fresh flowers in a vase and placing it on the table . I nodded and poured him a glass of wine. I understood of course. Yoongi was rich and famous and successful. He would come under a lot of fire if his battered wife came stumbling into a hospital. So he'd stepped in and covered it up.

All six of them were over for dinner and only my husband hadn't arrived. I'd been told to stay away from the preparations and to rest. Consequently I had no idea what the dinner menu was or anything. Hyo Rin had taken care of all that. She's also helped me out by trimming my hair. Not a lot. Just enough for it to hang below by shoulders in a simple straight cut.

I was wearing an off white gown with a sable trim near the waist. My ribs hurt a lot less. It was already a week or so since I'd been here and my husband had studiously avoided me. Hyo Rin stayed with me round the clock and was sure to assure me that Yoongi was a very busy man . I shouldn't think he was being unfaithful or anything.  I wondered what he would say if I told her he'd had sex with another woman on our first night.

Anyway, all that was immaterial. I'd been looking up jobs online and I had a bunch of places shortlisted. I'd start looking for a job and then maybe sell some jewelry and get myself an apartment. I couldn't stay inside this house without wanting to scream bloody murder.

"Have you been waiting long?" Yoongi's voice was so close to my ear, I went freeze-frame still. I hadn't even heard him come in. I turned and he gave me a lopsided smirk. Before i could fully process what he was doing he lightly grabbed my palm and placed it on his forearm.

"Let's go say hi to my friends." He said smoothly and I pulled back, surprised.

"What are you trying to do?" I said roughly and he sighed.

"Can we not do this right now? Those are our guests today. Don't embarrass them by bringing up personal stuff now. "

"Fine. But after they leave, we need to talk." I said stubbornly. He ran a hand through his messy blonde hair and looked rakishly handsome . Sometimes the universe is so unfair. A horrible man ought to look horrible, don't you think? Horrible. Not like a fallen angel created to tempt saints.

He gave me a calculating look and then shrugged. Like it didn't matter what I had to say but he would indulge me this once.

"Anyways, once again they let EXO's leader escape. Our police force is pretty weak." Seokjin shook his head in denial.

"EXO is pretty good.  They've been evading any serious charges for over five years now." Jimin commented.

"Not as good as BTS. They're the ones capable of taking EXO out, if they want to." Namjoon said strongly and Yoongi grinned.

"That's true. If BTS wants to destroy EXO , I doubt anything can stand in their way."

"What is BTS and EXO?" I said in confusion.

"Rival gangs operating in Seoul , Daegu and Busan. " Yoongi gave me a smile and a light squeeze of the shoulder. I heard some more talk about BTS and EXo. From what I could gather they were both rivals and went about killing and torturing people for their own criminal gains. But where EXO indulged in a lot of illegal trafficking and money laundering, BTS used almost all its money and power to provide better services for some of the exploited groups.

I was suddenly immensely glad that I'd never once encountered these violent gangs. Violence and I did not mix well.

I listened to their talks, vaguely noting that they had really nice soothing voices. Especially my husband.

Surprisingly,I had a nice time with Yoongi's friends. They were playful and funny . No at all like stuffy businessmen with busy schedules. Instead, they seemed to genuinely enjoy life and each others company. As the evening wore on the pain in my rib began intensifying. I wanted to go lie down. But I also wanted to talk to Yoongi.

"Are you tired?" His voice was liquid gold against my ears, warm and enticing and I moved closer to him, almost unconsciously. He draped an arm around me at once and if I'd been a little less tired I may have moved out of his embrace. But my body ached and his chest was so warm and hard and firm against my back. i leaned into him and he was tall enough for my head to nestle beneath the curve of his throat.  His fingers fluttered against my bare shoulders in gentle soothing touches .

"You can get some shut-eye if you want..." He whispered, his voice low and rugged and all kinds of beautiful . What was wrong with me?

But as it turned out, I did fall asleep.

When I woke up it was still dark and I wasn't alone in my bed.

Yoongi lay on his side, facing away from me. He slept with his shirt off, and my throat went a bit dry at the sight of his pale back. I wanted to turn around but it was a bit too difficult. My ribs still hurt.

I tried to take a long deep breathe the way I'd been asked to. I managed a couple before a sudden sharp pain hit my lung and I let out a loud whimper.

Yoongi stirred next to me and I clamped  a hand down on my throat. But it was too late and he turned around.

"Are you alright?" He said groggily, voice heavy with sleep. It was too dim to see his expression but then he was sitting up and switching on the bedside lamp.

I stared at him as he looked down at me.

"I want to move out..." I said before I could change my mind and put it off. Yoongi blinked against the light and actually groaned. The sound was oddly seductive. Tired and rough around the edges.

"It's two in the morning. You woke me up for this?" He snapped. I hesitated and then pulled myself up to a sitting position next to him. It felt disturbingly intimate to be sitting next to him on the bed, with him shirtless and me in a worn t-shirt.

"You're never home. I ...i want to get out of here. I need a divorce." I said quickly. He gave me a small smile.

"Why?" He said finally and the question threw me off completely. What the hell did he mean, why?

"I want...I want to thank you for everything you've done. But ...I'm not your responsibility." I said brokenly. My thoughts were scattered. I'd never thought I'd have to actually have a reason to divorce him.

"And?"

"You're in love with another woman." I said desperately.

"I could break up with her. Nothing's written in stone right? Except our marriage. that kind of is. " He said suddenly. I stared at him, confused and upset. What was he doing? What was he saying?

"Are you breaking up with her?" I said in confusion. He gave me another amused smile.

"No. I am not." He said calmly.

I felt like I was being toyed with.

"You should be happy I want to leave.You never wanted to marry me in the first place." I protested .

"And you didn't want to give me a divorce. Funny how times change, right?" he smirked, leaning back, looking thoroughly entertained.

"You don't really care what happens to me...why're you doing this?" I snapped. His smile disappeared and his eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You're in my house. In my bed. I found you half beaten to death and paid for all your medical expenses. I dragged my own sister out of her busy career and forced her to stay here and look after you. What exactly do you mean by ' not care what happens to you ' " He snapped.

"You only took care of me because if someone else found me you'd get arrested for domestic abuse." I said shrilly, before I could stop.

He snarled  so roughly my heart stopped pumping for a second.

And then he drew back, fighting to rein in his temper.

"I'm....sorry that you feel that way. " He said softly. And then he turned to the stand and picked his phone up. His eyes fixed unblinkingly on me, he dialed quickly.

"What are you doing?" I said nervously.

"Keep my car ready. No chauffeur. I'll do the driving." He barked into the phone. I stared as he stepped out of the bed. I turned away with flushed cheeks when i realized he was only wearing boxers. He opened the closet and pulled on a black t-shirt and a pair of worn jeans. He looked like something out of an anime with his shocking pale skin against the dark shirt. His white blonde hair looked unfairly good, considering he'd just rolled out of bed.

"Get up. We're going somewhere special." He said roughly.

I stayed frozen in spot.

"Now? I'm not dressed I..."

"What you're wearing is perfect. I wouldn't want one of your pretty little gowns to get dirty." He moved to my side of the bed and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, helping me stand.

"I don't know what you think you're doing..." I said nervously but he ignored me, stepping forward and grabbing my hair together in his fist. I was too shocked to move when he calmly tied it up with a hairtie. I had a lot of trouble combing my hair because raising my arm made my rib hurt. I didn't even want to know why he knew that. He kept his arm around me as he led me out of the penthouse and to the parking lot. His solid black Mercedes stood ready and he helped me into the front seat and buckled me in.

When we pulled out of the lot to the almost deserted streets, he reached out and squeezed my knee.

"I think this should be a good learning experience for you." He said calmly. I stared straight ahead, mildly terrified. Where exactly was he taking me? My fears doubled when we moved out of the suburbs to the shadier parts of the city. My husband took three dozen complicated turns before stopping in front of an abandoned warehouse.

"We're here." He smiled eerily.

"Where's here?" I said nervously, hands clasped closely together on my lap.

"This is... let's say this is the place I come to finish off tricky deals. You know..the ones I don't get done in the boardroom."

That sounded very nice, I thought with a grimace.

Sweating bullets, I allowed myself to be led out, his arm wrapped securely around my shoulders. I stopped moving when we reached the entrance and the sound of groaning reached my ears. Whoever it was was being hurt badly. The pain was evident even through the feeble sounds that managed to permeate outside. Suddenly I knew exactly what I was going to find on the other side of that door. Panicking I tried to turn away but his hands curled around my shoulders with brute force.

"Oh, no you don't!! No wife of mine gets to accuse me of being an uncaring bastard and get away with it. I'm gonna show you just how much I care about things that belong to me." He hissed.

things that belonged to me.

I panicked even more at that phrase. I didn't want to belong to anyone, least of all this man.

He all but dragged me to the entrance and the security guard didn't even spare us a glance before opening the door for us.

The inside smelled damp, dirty and bloody. Nausea threatened and I couldn't breathe. It was too dark to see anything but the pained moans were louder, coming from the corner of the room. He let me go and then smiled wide, his face morphing into something both angelic and demonic. I stared at him in genuine horror.

"Yoongi..." I whispered and he stopped smiling. Looking very curious he stepped forward and brushed a thumb across my lower lip.

"I like the way you say my name. This is the first time I'm hearing you say it." He said in complete fascination.

I stopped and stepped back. This whole thing was going out of hand.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked finally.

"I have a present for you." He grabbed my wrist and lightly tugged me closer to the shadows. The sounds increased in volume and slowly a passage way came into view, a dim light at the end of it. I let myself be led to the light and then stopped when the picture came into view.

It was a chair, and someone was tied to it. Next to the chair was a table with a baseball bat and some other knives and instruments . The sort you see in interrogation videos. I could feel my stomach begin to churn. Oh, God what was I doing here? Who exactly was I married to??

The man in the chair finally groaned again and my eyes shot to him.

Beneath the chair was a small puddle of dried blood, and whoever it was had his face completely covered by a gunny sack that was bloody where his mouth and nose should be. I couldn't stop the bile that rose up my throat and retched out in desperation. My husband ignored my little episode and gently pulled me closer.

"You have a visitor ,  abeonim."

I stopped short and went ice cold.

No. No. No. No.

Yoongi pulled the gurney sack off.

It was my father.

Someone was screaming loud and hard and without pause and my vision was blurring. I fell back in shock, disgust and horror and Yoongi wrapped his arm around me. It took me a second to realize that I was the one screaming.

He cradled me close, right against his chest, whispering nothing and everything as he tried to calm me down, his voice steady and sure.

"See how much i care about you? I'm sending this bastard to hell because he dared to touch what's mine...." He said slowly, lightly kissing the side of my cheekbone. And then my neck.

"No..No..I..Please.." Who was I begging to? What was I begging for?? I didn't know. My mind was caving in on itself. This wasn't the man I married.

Yoongi kissed my neck again, this time lightly licking the little bit of sweat that had gathered near my hairline.

"I warned you...i warned you not to marry me, my pretty little princess. Even made up that cock and bull story about being in love with someone else. Do you know how hard it was for me and Hye Mi to put on that goddamn act?? All because I thought you were too pretty to get dragged into the hellhole that is my life. But did you have the good sense to listen? No. You had to stick around. " He shook his head and lowered me to the ground before pulling out a gun and cocking it.

I stared in disbelief and horror, too scared to breathe. He walked up casually to my father, grabbed the back of his head and pulled it back to show me his face. My father stared at me in confusion and pitiful pain. i didn't know what to think. I had hated him all my life. He'd been a monster to me. But I didn't want him to die.

I didn't want to see him die.

Yoongi took off the safety and pressed the muzzle against my father's forehead.

"Yoongi...." i whispered in desperation.

"Not in here, baby girl. Here, I'm not Min Yoongi, CEO Bangtan Inc. Here...I'm Min Suga. Leader. BTS." He said slowly.

And then he pulled the trigger.

[artfighterblog]

1-ALLL I wanna know all about the Mun!!!

OwO lol ok ^w^ *gives diedrie a big hug

1. What is the middle name? *leaves it n/a* owo

2. How old are you? OwO 27 wishing i was younger

3. What is your birthday? september 7 

4. What is your zodiac sign? virgo owo

5. what is your favorite color? all the colors of purple >=3

6. What’s your lucky number? would it suprise you if i said 7? cause thats my lucky number x3

7. Do you have any pets? Yes but its my sister’s dog though that is a goldendoodle they are lovely dogs that loves playing with kids. but also good guard dogs.

8. Where are you from? USA kansas xP

9. How tall are you? i am 5′8 owo 

10. What shoe size are you? oh gawd shoe sizes are evil if its in womens i gotta get size 12 if its in mens i gotta grab 13, But i happen to lose weight over the 2 years from before so i had to go slightly smaller size shoes. So i am unsure the size right now.

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I would say about 5 i think all for different occasion *has lost count cause she kept some old shoes for outside yard work.*

12. What was your last dream about? Hmmm the last thing i remember was that I was talking to black shadows and sparring supposingly it was supposed to be a nightmare but i manage to turn it around i guess *shrugs*

13. What talents do you have? hmmm well i am good at writing some stuff cause i can write a short one and leave a good cliff hanger. But love to draw alot x3. and messing with yarn still learning all of the basics when it comes to crochet.

14. Are you psychic in any way? Now i wouldn’t really call it physic but I often do see ghosts from time to time that would give you guys the chills x3. But the problem having that ability growing up was hard cause i kept it a secret only cause i was scared to be called crazy or insane. But i was taught alot of things thanks to some ghosts i have met but i also learn not all of them are safe to talk to as well. So be careful if you have this ability or if your child happens to have this. Cause some ghosts are not safe and tend to try to lure you away.

15. favorite song? omg this is hard can i just say imagine dragons is the favorite band please? love too many of their songs but if i was to choose it would be raidioactive 

16. Favorite movie? spirit away =D

17.  Who would be your ideal partner? owo that would be someone who i can chill to hang out with and that we just be ourselfs to be honest. I rather place no judgement if i can between the partner and me only cause i rather have us have fun and be able to relax.

18. Do you want children? x3 me and my hubby has talked about this since ours is a distant relationship we did decide if we ever got to move together to be in the same house its a definate yes. 

19. Do you want a church wedding? That i don’t know actually to be honest that would be somthing down later in the future road i rather think of the present than worry about later in the future.

20. Are you religious? now this kind of topic i rather stay away if i can but i am most comfortable talking to my hubby with. Only because i seen alot of wars between people who are religious and some who are not. I rather respect both sides if i can to be honest. even though to being religious i would say i am a little cause i am a wiccan gonna be honest here. But i still respect all religions if i possibly can and i even have respect for the preists as well.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes i have alot of good and bad memories i have out of going there the last thing i been there for though was worrying about my grandpa which i am still worrying about him even now. Which I am hoping he can live a bit longer. Cause he is a great man to be honest.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Not really like the last thing i got trouble for was accidently speeding and I had apologize to the officer which he did gave me a ticket but i didn’t have to pay for it just take the ticket in and was warned to be more careful next time. Which i am more careful and try my best to stay out of trouble.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? nope i haven’t =/ but i probly would freak out just a little but try to stay calm as well.

24. Baths or showers? Can i say both? please =3

25. What color of socks are you wearing? Was wearing black grayesh socks last night but took them off lol =3

26. Have you ever been famous? nope =3

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Hmmm i would say yes but i rather work for it.

28. What type of music do you like? to be honest i love all kinds of music but i love the most is country rock

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? um no I haven’t owo 

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? uhhh....*counts* about 5 big pillows and 2 small little ones owo

31. What position do you sleep in? which ever is the most comfortable but mostly sleep on my side.

32. How big is your house? owo....idk.....*shrugs*

33. what do you typically have for breakfast? which ever sounds good but love susage sandwiches the most. but somtimes i would make myself a really fluffy egg omelette =3

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes but only because my uncle was teaching me how to use one properly to get over my fear. Cause i rather be able to move if i get stuck a situation one day instead of being frozen in fear. I rather help those in need to get out of the dangerous situation if i can.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes when i was little i went to church camp and tried archery there it was actually alot of fun learning how to use the bow.

36. favorite clean word? meep

37. favorite swear word? uhhh.....welp i know some of you will laugh real hard cause i said this a few times and left my hubby laughing alot hearing this. quote “What the flying fuck?!” x3

38.Whats the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? only one day i went without sleep. 

39. Do you have any scars? uhhh.....*hides her scars.* sorry leaving that n/a? owo

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? hmmm nope owo

41. Are you a good liar? hmm i don’t really like lieing to be honest i only do this only if there is a good reason cause alot of drama does happen quiet often in the family and i only do this to avoid it. so i am somewhat a good one but i rather not do it it if i can.

42. Are you a good judge of character? umm idk?

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? um no not really although i have a few people in irl who keeps saying i have some sort of accent and idk where it comes from.

44. Do you have a strong accent? um idk again owo

45. What is your favorite accent? owo uhh.....*shrugs*

46. what is your personality type? i would say just a fun loving type of personality with a slight dark humor once a while even though we don’t  mean to have the dark humor to happen.

47. what is your most expensive piece of clothing? uhh....i would say a dress?

48. Can you curl your tougue? heck yea x3

49. Are you an innie or an outie? I am both =3 but mostly an innie

50. Left or right handed? i am right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? uh... I am but spiders and me go to war actually cause i had got bit all the time by them spiders.

52. favorite food? Anything Pasta related! =D

53. Favorite foreign food? Chinese food

54. are you a clean or a messy person? a little of both owo

55. most used phrased? idk owo

56. Most used word? merp =P

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? about 1 hour. to 30 min.s if i rush like mad almost about 10 min. flat. 

58. Do you have much of an ego? ego? what ego? *has no ego*

59.Do you suck or bite lollipops? I only suck unless there’s somthing in the middle then i bite it.

60. Do you talk to yourself? I often do only when i am thinking or trying to decide on things to make a right choice. and yes this actually helps me think of a better choice.

61. Do you sing to yourself? owo yes i do when i am by myself.

62. Are you a good singer? ehh?  idk?

63. biggest fear? I think i have a slight fear of abandonment i think but i think the worst one is snakes even though i found them cute on the net. the old biggest fear used to be guns.

64. Are you a gossip? I rather not gossip if i can actually.

65. best dramatic movie you’ve seen? can i say the best scary movie please? if i can i would say resident evil.

66. Do you like long or short hair? I like both actually owo but long hairs are harder to maintain.

67. Can you name all 50 states of america? I think if i can i would name all of them but its been a while so i might forget a couple actually.

68. Favorite school subject? owo Art class!

69. Extrovert or introvert? mostly introvert but i still like going outside once a while.

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope but would love to one day

71. what makes you nervous? Um not knowing whats gonna happen next if things do get complicated

72. Are you scared of the dark? Yes V w V but mostly if i am outside at night is where its worse but i am fine inside the building.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? only if i can somtimes i am not able to all the time.

74. Are you ticklish? yes sadly lol.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? no and actually i don’t like dealing with rumors.

76. have you ever been in a position of authority? nope but it would be interesting to try i guess.

77. Have you ever drank underage? nope actually i never gone drinking dispite my age.

78. Have you ever done drugs? noppity nope never done them and never will.

79. Who was your first real crush? sorry keepin that a secret owo

80. How many piecrings do you have? one for each ear owo so only 2

81. can you roll your rs? uhh....idk? *has no clue what rs is*

82. How fast can you type? last i checked it was about 60 on the speed scale on that mavis bacon typing program.

83. How fast can you run? uhh idk....

84. What color is your hair? dark brown

85. What color is your eyes? hazel so a bit of blue and green

86. What are you allergic to? eh feathers (sorry bird friends i can’t touch birds owo) house dust might and mold. which i find this silly.

87. Do you keep a journal? nope

88. What do your parents do? eh....sorry leaving that n/a guys

89. Do you like your age? to be honest i wish i am younger but its ok really cause i at least can help my family by having a job and help pay the bills. which allows me to spoil my mom once a while. Why cause she deserves it ^^.

90. What makes you angry? oh well i really don’t get angry really easy mostly if it comes to family members starting drama and start shit up that they shouldn’t be doing and lie and steal yea i can get angry really easy then. And i had people get scared of me before cause i was like angry but looked calm at the same time. I try my best not to get angry cause i rather think clearly if i can to find out whats actually going on to help fix the situation.

91. Do you like your own name?.....*leaves it n/a*

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? um owo.....sadly nope.. i am not good with names to be honest. I try my best to come up with good ones if i do get stuck picking one though.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Eh?...idk i just rather leave it up to fate of what comes first in the future.

94. What are your strengths? I think my biggest strength i have is helping on calming a person down really and somtimes letting them lean on me to cry if they needed it.

95. What are your weaknesses? owo hmm not sure i think seeing cute things is my weakness lol.

96. how did you get your name? eh? i came up with this name a long time ago when i was younger i loved to draw and do alot of art related stuff but I also love playing fighting games as well. and actually had 1 year of karate as well.

97. were y our ancestors royalty? umm idk? it would be cool to find out owo.

98. Do you have any scars? owo uhh.. *hides her scars once again* why did this question come up the second time?

99. Color of your bedspread? white with a few other colors on it mostly green. been thinking about getting a new different one.

100. Color of your room? white if i had the choice i would paint it purple not only cause purple is my favorite color but also its a calm color to have in the bedroom.

[mandssisters]

Laditude - GOTR takeover Latitude 15th July 2017

The road to Latitude was a long road, the 8 hour drive made me feel like I should have been in the states travelling to a local gig!  Whereas in the UK…… a LONG DRIVE!

Arriving Thursday for the weekend, we set up basecamp amongst Waitrose shoppers! (Personally I am more Lidls)  (more Waitrose later)  A great pitch location within short walking distance for the Sausage Pork Shack (that’s breakfast sorted) and loo’s…. close but not too close!  Despite packing lite the load was indeed heavy!

Off to the main festival site for the afternoon evening.  Latitude had a character all of its own.  Delightful wooded areas, the river, the waterfront stage, comedy arena, lake stage, theatre and other music zones.  The main stage Obelisk Arena was set at the bottom of a natural hill so made a great arena, unlike other festivals at the back was a GA set of tiered seats.  Great idea.  

Lots of quirky stalls to spend one’s hard earned cash.  Merchandise purchased.    Finally I get my hands on a Garratt Tee shirt.  Can you ever have too many t-shirts?  We found a tasty food stall making great Tibetan cuisine, a real treat.  

The lockers.  When booking we selected the option of a secure locker, in the mind you see a gym locker, the reality was quite different.  All very organised and secure, but only the size of first edition Harry Potter!  The struggle was real to get all the newly purchased merch inside!  At the cost of the camera, latitude pint glass and knitted cactus…… cannot have everything in life.

Being a tad tired we head back to camp and attempt to sleep……….. The hours between midnight and 7 am can be long can’t they!!!!!    At least I rested!!!!  Such a relief the Scousers next door had a great time……festival life.  

Friday, exploring day.  Pink Sheep, Lakes, river banks, gondola rides, comedy, ballet, music.  We saw and heard it all.  Went to see Charlie Fink in the theatre a very touching play.  Another highlight being the BalletBoyz.

Demonstrating the high end nature of this festival, we browse a “living jewellery gemstone stall” tempted by the lapis necklace should or shouldn’t I spend money…. the lady next to me spots an amethyst lazer cut silver ring, the stall holder points out that it is indeed to most expensive item on the stand, her friend, what £200…. errrr no £2000.  Lady next to me, places it on the hand stares at it for around 30 seconds and says, I’ll take it.  The stall holder close to tears of joy can’t quite #believe.  She pays on her credit card saying I’ll tell the husband later he just bought me a pressie.  When in Rome the Lapis is indeed purchased!  Bargain.

The 1975 were headlining so we decided to sit on the back row, what a great view and great set.  This was the last date of the current tour, hardcore fans had been barriering it all day.  An emotional good bye until October 2018!  We’ve all been there.  It was a chilly evening many layers were on, I was as usual rocking the homeless look.  Back to basecamp to “warm up”.  #fail.

A much better nights sleep, the ear plugs working their magic.  Must have got at least a 6 hour snooze.  The weather looked ok for the day,  warm, but not hot, sunny but not on fire, but maybe light showers in the afternoon.  

Pack a sweater and poncho, don the wellies.

Mixing up the day with a cheese and baked bean toastie for breakfast.  Every night the festival ground itself is vacated and you camped off site.  Festival Gates open around 10am, so we head back down and wander to the Obelisk Arena.  The arena is taped off until the site is declared ready.  It is has been transformed overnight into a GOTR stopover/takeover.  With Willis flags flying proudly around the arena and new stage surround added.  We meet a Nanny that is paid to sit on site over the weekend to make sure her crew are behaving!  This was her 10th year!  Tempted by the offer of a £70k a year job in Dubai we refused!

B, G, S, and F arrive!  Yay!  The gang are here.   A very causal dropping on the tape and the cruise to the barrier is easy. Wot no bag search, hole punching of tickets, queueing for wrist bands, and steps, front row and never had been such a breeze!  

The stage is very high, I guess because of the hill,  also down the front there is an uneven layer of sand/gravel which makes for a messy seat!  Hiding cables I guess but ruining the arse of the trouser!

The very best sound check for a good 30 mins prior to their opening set.  Seye is working with Gorillaz on the Humanz tour.  I think his absence was definitely noted.  Wot no WE OK in Sight! They had a tough crowd, first up, early in the afternoon and to a bit of a lame crowd.  Maybe the Waitrose crowd don’t wake up until after the sun passes the yard arm.  Good set none the less.  

Ben appears on stage to announce Lucy Rose, this was indeed the largest audience she had ever played in front of.  I can’t remember much of her set as I was “struggling”, all I can say is thank god for Tang Tastics.  Never have I needed you more!  Lucy I am sure did a great acoustic set.  #tired.com

It suddenly gets really crushed and tightly packed down the front, all exit plans are now waived from the mind.  Milky chance, nope I hadn’t heard of them, but clearly Waitrose Kid shoppers had.  It was rammed down there with mosh pit circle dances gaps and barrier ramming being undertaken.  Oh it was fun!  They were very good.  Just what the soul need post L.R.

Glass Animals next,  again, crush fest, the stage dressing was a large golden pineapple, this brought a smile to my face…… party like a 🍍 #fondmemories they were really good, a great tonic.  Bashing out tune after tune.  Clearly they were having a great time as well.  The fan base of course bringing inflatable pineapples and pineapple sunglasses, said pair live on in DDD thanks to the careless actions of a fan!  But the careful squirrelling of said DDD fan!  

More peeps than ever now down the front for Two Door Cinema club.  Great stage graphics, great tunes, saw them at Glastonbury last month and they never disappoint.  Surviving all three of the last acts was a bit of a feat of endurance, but we did it.  

The teenage Waitrose shoppers had now dispersed by around 20% so we now had room to dance around again.  Leon Bridges was totally awesome and oh so talented, he had all the moves, very 50s rockabilly but with a modern twist.  Great soul in his voice.  It’s not every one who can carry off the cricket whites look!  He did a blinding set.  

By now it was 2045 hours and only 45 mins until Mumford!  

Throughout the day the stopover was old Skool and used linen fabric backdrops to showcase the artist.  Mumford indeed went old skool and had the same stylish graphic set up.  I don’t think we will see the May pyro stage set again.  

2130 and OMG the boys were right on the button.  They blew me away from the start. Opening with Snake Eyes,   I’m not sure where the bounce came from, (hula hoops) (Capri sun) (Tang tastics) (sesame bars), but it was there from the first chord. Loved this show.  

The tunes flowed, the chaps clearly having a blast and enjoying it as well.  Very much a festival set, mixing it up.  Hearing the songs from Johannesburg again, Baaba Maal throwing his shapes and the beauty that is Si tu Veux, Marcus taking lead on Wona, it was a real carnival set.  I will never tire of hearing those songs.  Love love love.  

Up and coming artist Maggie Rogers and fellow takeover artist joined them for Awake My soul.  Sounding beautiful.  

Too soon it was Ditmas, will he or won’t he risk the Waitrose run…. of course he did!  We did worry about the quantity of inflatable sofas, picnic blankets, camping chairs in the arena! NO one got hurt!  He made it back to the stage!  

Encore to Blind Leading the blind.  Then the gathering of friends and fellow performers for “With a little help from my friends”.  Another classic, spotting JQ, Leon Bridges, Maggie Rogers, The Very Best, Gill Landry. Marcus shaking the life out of a tambourine never fails to make one smile.  What a great takeover.  Latitude loves the Sons.

As per Marcus’s instructions we took the aftershow party to Jack Garratt.  That boy was at the top of his game.  It’s not many that can pull of a matching shirt and shorts combo, but he wore it with pride.  We sang, we laughed,  we dance the sole out of our wellies.  What an atmosphere.  Epic. Blinding. Outstanding!  Can’t wait for his formal return with album two.  I think it’s fair to say Jack loved it as well, doing his mini “celebratory Ditmas” run around the front pit hi fiving everyone.  

Still buzzing from Mumford and Jack, we head onwards to the GOTR bar and the Sunset Arena for a spot of chilling and lounging with HBOV.  It’s a lovely area to chill on a log and to reflect on a great weekend, well done chaps, you pulled off another blinder. High five. 🍹😎🌲🌳

Now nearly 3am we decide to call it quits for the day and head back to the comfort of the tent……. nope we didn’t find it.

Sunday… sorry to have missed you Fleet Foxes 🦊 but homelands beckons.  Thanks to the person who donated the freecycle tent ⛺️ other people’s waste! 🤓

[loveisintheairmiles]

Travelling with a toddler under 2

I realised I probably have a fair bit of experience to share on traveling with a toddler considering we have done quite a number of flights with Milo since he was born. I love seeing his passport get new stamps and I think it’s wonderful for him to experience so many new places from a young age. I hope it teaching him about different people and cultures and eventually shares our love of traveling and exploring the world.

It is our intention this year to travel as much as possible before he is 2 and needs his own ticket. So we are racking up the air miles and we are joining my husband on any work trips where possible.

So far he has stamps in his passport for Bangkok / Bali / UK / Ko Samui / Sydney / Melbourne / Phuket / Seoul / Beijing… with another trip to Bangkok and Singapore booked this month and Chengdu for Easter he is certainly going to be a well travelled little boy!

It has changed since he’s getting older - not sure if it is getting easier or harder! I’ll say easier… or perhaps I’m just better prepared! Best piece of advice - plan and be prepared!

For long haul

Packing:

Pick up some fabric nylon zip bags they are amazing for organising your packing into nightwear, tops bottoms, accessories e.g. socks, vests, shoes, swimmers and then keep a small toilet bag with any baby essentials; thermometer, medicine, bottom cream I’ve stopped packing everything and the kitchen sink because everywhere you go has a pharmacy. Pack as many nappies that will fit in your luggage as you never know how easy it is to find your familiar brand. So better to have a few days worth before you have to shop.

Hand luggage on the plane for the baby:

I now pack a little rucksack for Milo with nappies, wipes and snacks and he wears this at the airport or its small enough to hook on the buggy handle. I have heard some people find it helpful to put nappies in ziplock with wipes so each change you have to just grab the plastic bag. I think this would be helpful when the baby is younger.

If I’m not traveling along I take his Trunkie with a few toys, books, spare clothes, coat, more nappies, a lunch box type container with more snacks and his 2 more bottles and his mini cutlery. Usually I fill one bottle with coconut water (Milo always seems to get constipated after a flight and this helps) or just water and one with milk. The Trunkie hooks on the buggy but it gets too hectic if I’m on my own to manage the buggy, a baby, hand luggage and carry on suitcase plus Trunkie. Especially if Milo insists on walking or being pulled on it - then you then have too many moving things to keep hold of.

Mums hand luggage

I use a rucksack and pack light as possible! I used to take a big fabric rucksack but now I use my black leather Kate Spade rucksack so at least I can feel slightly stylish! As more stuff always seems to go in the bag by the time your board the plane - so leave some room! The usual travel wallet, wallet, pen, mobile, lip balm, headphones (for the unlikely event of being able to watch a film) water (it’s ok to take more fluids through customs for a child), one tiny toy, small snack, wipes, iPad, hand sanitiser, one bottle of milk.

Carry on suitcase

It is still essential for me to have a carry on case for my work laptop and I found carrying the laptop in a rucksack is too heavy and takes up vital space for baby stuff. Also if I’m heading to the UK I need a weekend size suitcase for visiting family and friends - I also sometimes pack a soft carryall type bag in my main suitcase in case shopping on the trip means my suitcase is bursting or over the weight I can check another bag. It’s a good idea to have a change of clothes for yourself in the carryon - just in case! It’s quite easy to push a 4-wheeler and the buggy. But do yourself a favour and don’t load the buggy with lots of loose bits as it just makes life difficult when you have to flatten the buggy at the gate.

Skip the queue

I still travel a bit like a non-parent and hate waiting around and queuing and the huge bonus of having kids is that you can skip queues and get help! Just don’t be afraid to ask! But traveling with my husband is another level! As a Cathay Diamond Marco Polo member he lives in airports with work - so literally runs through them at pace and knows all the shortcuts and has zero patience. Travel is quite different with a toddler in toe - so just keep your head and don’t get stressed or let tantrums escalate. Between you and the toddler AND you and your husband! Pick your battles - if you need to get the iPad out early - don’t feel judged! And certainly enjoy a glass of wine before the flight!

For long haul I always try and book a night flight - the aim is to get most of the flight with the lights off so much more chance of the baby sleeping.

So at home prepare snacks then try and have dinner at the airport as it keeps them busy and awake. As the aim is the tire them out till they are on the plane.

Check-in 

I always ask sweetly for the best seat. You can get obsessed and check which plane you’re flying and what seat is best - I just hope I’m lucky. But always ask for a bulkhead aisle seat. Some Cathay planes have the bassinette shelf which helps with eating means and just balancing an ipad. Plus you have more leg room. Work your reward perks as much as possible - I try to stick to one or two airlines where possible and obviously upgrading to fly Premium or Business is a major perk with Club airmiles.

Get through passport control ideally with them in the buggy. If you are lucky enough to go in a Airport lounge with free food that’s makes things easier as you can set up a little base and it’s safer for them to wander about. Pizza Express is my other go-to as dough balls or margarita pizza isn’t too messy before the flight. Avoid the apple juice and any major sweet treats like ice cream for obvious reasons! It’s already exciting and different and they don’t need any more stimulation. Good snacks I’ve found are sugar free biscuits (Ikea do nice oat ones), raisins, banana, keep a favourite cake treat to bribe as back up!

Be at the gate in good time and give a heads up to the staff not the desk so they can take your buggy. Make sure they put it in a plastic bag or it will get filthy! Don’t rush to board - you know the plane won’t leave without you. Just skip the queue and go via the First/Business line even though your probably turning right not left without about 30 mins to take off.

The flight

When you get on the plane - expect the first hour to be rough! Put everything in the hold apart from your rucksack which can fit under the seat. Then only get down what you need during the flight such as the Trunkie with more toys and nappies. You might not need to bother. The key is to have as much space as possible to load up the seat pocket and slide the bottles down the side of the chairs.

People getting on and all the disruption of people getting settle, drinks being served, new things to lift and flick and pull. I try to wet wipe the remote and tray table as apparently there are more germs on airplanes than toilet seats. But I’m not going to freak out if he’s trying to put the remote in his mouth - I’ve wasted a number of hours on a flight before with Milo playing with the remote and pulling the arm rest up and down! I try to stop him fiddling with the tray table as it’s considerate to the passenger in front. But you just hope you have some compassionate and understanding fellow passengers! I always give big smiles to people in my immediate area and maybe start a little chat. Eye contact helps then if your baby does kick off they will feel sorry or you instead of giving you a hard time! The best passengers play peekaboo or giggle with your baby and I love anyone who will entertain Milo for 5 minutes here and there. Try and be that person. It literally can save your life when your baby is so bored of your company and just need some other stimulation.

Wait till the plane is on the runway then give the bottle and try to cuddle down. You may get then straight off but unlikely before the seatbelt sign is turned off and dinner served and people have mostly stopped going to the bathroom and settled down. But usually about an hour or two into the flight you hope they will get comfy (usually means you will be uncomfy!) and go to sleep. The plane engine noise does help. Or it doesn’t and they baby is awake for hours wriggling - or now the case is Milo is nearly 12kg at 20 months so actually sharing a seat is not that easy! You pray for a spare seat or just cope. And remember it’s a flight and it will end at some point. So if you need to take a trip to the bathroom to play with the taps, or walk up and down the isles waving at passengers, or stand at the back of the plane for an hour or so at a time then do what you need to do!

When you have about an hour to go on the flight the baby is probably awake - just get sorted and put things back up in the hold. Do a nappy change - ask for your baby bottle to be filled up with water if you are out of milk. I never wait for the whole plane to get off just get outta there!

It’s over!

When you disembark the plane buggy will be brought to the gate - so wait and then try and get them to sit in the buggy. Sometimes this is difficult as they want to run about after the flight. I found you can get a member of ground crew staff to meet you on arrival and get help at the baggage claim which feels a bit excessive but why be a martyr! Take the help if it is on offer! I did it once at Hong Kong airport with Milo was quite young and I felt like royalty! She took me all the way to our Uber and it was fantastic help after a long flight.

I would say mostly I’ve had good experience with airlines. I tend to not fly budget airlines anymore. They are risky in China with delays and make cattle class even worst. I’m lucky to fly a lot of reward flights with Cathay or Virgin. Cathay sort of do the bear minimum but I think most want to try and help especially if they see you are traveling alone. Virgin are my absolute favourite. They go out of their way to make the flight more enjoyable. For example, they gave me a footrest which was a dream when I was breastfeeding and a big bottle of Evian instead of small cups. As you always get so thirsty breastfeeding.

So to recap in brief!

As a mum accept you have to pack less (still a challenge for me every time)

Make sure you go to the loo before they fall asleep

Travel in dark colours (my husband says I dress like a puppeteer on planes) but means any spills and mess is less of a drama and you still look slightly presentable

For long haul book night flights where at all possible

Keep snacks, milk, water, ipad, wipes in arms reach

Accept your going to be walking the aisles, playing with the folding toilet door or taps, perching on the chair arm while your baby spreads out

Ask for help!

Remember it will end! And it is worth it to travel!