#this time we're in her direct path and she's expected to be a Cat 1 still

[forswornfae]

We're about as ready for Helene as we're gonna get. Time to try to get some sleep before she hits us.

[frog-chemicals]

So after many requests:

This story starts Multiple Years Ago

My step grandpa passed away. That sucked. He got put in some dirt.

THEN it turns out he's still officially married to some gold digger lady who's fuck knows where by now. We go looking for her in Spain because For Some Reason the house still partially belongs to her. Lawyers ends up telling us to just Not Do That. We go back. End up winning the case because she never showed up to claim the house.

Probably dead

Anyway that lasted like 5 years. In that time nothing could be done to the house because technically it didn't belong to my nana at the moment. Now it does and she's 80-something.

Now

The Neighbors

There's this one alcoholic lady who showed up at the door MULTIPLE times claiming my nan stole her cat.

As you can guess that's not the case. That's only where it starts though!

My nana has a big-ish (for standards here) mostly overgrown garden but we make sure the plants and stuff stay within her terrain. Now of course they're still complaining about the plants and stuff. Whatever. BUT this one lady decided that it would be a good idea to make a hole in the hedge. Now my nana was NOT a fan of that. At some point Neighbor Cat Lady fucked off after being threatened with a walking stick I think(?).

Patched up the hole kinda. Put some shit in front of there. In my dads words: If they try to climb through that hole they'll at least break their legs over a bunch of bullshit.

Then The New Neighbors arrived.

Man. Woman. Daughter. Two boys. Now there's some really weird bullshit going on with them already because 1) Each time my dad spoke Man he mentioned having a 9 year old daughter. They've been here for a while now. 2) There's a third boy all of a sudden. Probably around 2-ish. Now sure. They got a fourth kid. It happens. BUT Woman never looked pregnant in the slightest.

There's definitely a lot of bad stuff going on there but nothing that's probably important to this.

Going back to when they moved in here: They never introduced themselves which is already a "Hm.. Well fuck you too then" over here. There was never all that much communication outside of some occasional bullshit.

Now back to the garden. There's a path leading to the houses behind her house and according to Some People there's too much of the hedge hanging over the path for their cars to drive properly. We haven't had the chance to trim it back lately because of some surgeries my dad needed to have. Whole other story. Long story short he couldn't do stuff. This he had even explained at some point. Along with the fact we're planning to do it tomorrow.

Now

What caused me to talk about this all in the first place:

My dad gets a call

It's the cops

He thinks "oh fuck something happened to my mom"

Turns out that Someone In The Neighborhood called in for a "Complaint of Worry" because they were expecting "Something might be wrong with her" keep in mind they never even breathed in her direction before this. Now guessing from the fact FOUR cops showed up at her door we're assuming it was phrased like "Pretty sure the lady next door died like a few weeks back"

The cops came to check on her. Nearly broke a back window knocking. She's pissy of course. Tells the cops she's 'deaf but sure as hell not dead yet' and basically tells them to fuck off in her own It's-illegal-to-actually-insult-officers-but-I-want-these-assholes-gone way.

So here we are shit talking the cops,making fun of the whole thing, and driving my nana nuts with our conspiracy theories of Who Told The Cops My Nanna Had Died

To be continued

Probably

There’s some huge drama going on in my mamas neighborhood right now and it’s absolutely wild