#this time I'm willing to pay more for something I'll actually use

[brown-little-robin]

dad took my desk (I gave it to him because it didn't work for me but it's funnier to say he just yoinked it out of my room) and I am now looking for a new desk and a chair. wish me luck!

[gor3-hound]

WRITTEN ALL OVER YOUR FACE - NAOYA ZENIN

ft. naoya zenin x puppy!reader

a/n: commission for the very lovely @nexysworld !! naoya is so very pretty and i was scared to write him BUT !! he was actually very fun to write. i love my asshole nepo baby :3 hope you guys enjoy, fb and reblogs are always appreciated <3

cw: 18+ content, dead dove-ish, pussy inspection, mistreatment of hybrids, forced cosmetic procedures, dub-con bcs power dynamics, praise, degradation, use of shock collars, caging, mentions of filing teeth, ear cropping, touching unhealed wounds, tail play, misogyny, spit, mean naoya, dehumanisation, orgasm denial, forced spaying, p in v, creampie, dacryphilia, neglect

word count: 3.2k words

Naoya’s bored.

It might’ve made you feel better if he had a secret soft spot - that the pressures of his clan have left him lonely and desperate for companionship, but that’s simply not the case. There’s no profound self-realization that comes with his actions, no sense of guilt when he pays one of the maids to suck him off before he kicks her to the curb.

He’s just bored. He’s always found the best cure for his boredom was to find a pretty little plaything that was willing to put up with him. But there’s only so much you can do to a human girl before she’s skittering off. Women value their life more than their job these days, a thought that has him scowling and breaking the shit in his room as soon as his latest slut cuts him off.

He needed something more permanent. A pretty thing that he can use to get his dick wet. One that isn’t crying for a relationship or money when he’s finished. He’s always found those hybrids pretty cute, and it seemed like the perfect thing to keep him entertained. A girl that knew she was lesser than him. A pet he could play with that would forgive him after a couple of head scratches and a new toy.

It’s that thought that has him dragging his ass to the nearest adoption center, his eyes scanning the kennels until he spots you.

You seem like a shy little thing, but he doesn’t see an issue with that. He’s always had more fun breaking girls in, and you’d be no exception. He hums thoughtfully for a moment, his head cocking to the side as he looks you over. He doesn’t address you or ask you any questions, but he doesn’t need to. You were cute, and that’s all he really cared about, anyway. He calls a worker over, asking to get some time alone with you.

“Well, we don't really have any private rooms for you to-”

“How much?” Naoya cuts him off without even gazing his way, his eyes locked onto your form. No point buying the goods if he doesn’t get a trial run, first.

“I'm sorry?” The worker stutters out. Naoya hates that shit. Pisses him off more than anything, acting like he doesn’t want the Zen’in’s money. Naoya knows better.

“You heard me. How much? Doesn't need to be a fancy room. Shit, I'll take a storage room. I gotta check she's worth the money, y'know?” He says with a sigh, his brows twitching slightly as he fights back a scowl.

Seems to work well enough, because the worker leads him to a staff room, telling him to wait right there. He crosses his arms over his chest, making him sigh in annoyance. He waits impatiently, but he lights up when you come padding into the room, looking all nervous.

”No need to be scared, girl.” He tells you, but his words come out in a grunt. He doesn’t really care if you’re scared of him or not, as long as you let him get a good look at you. He moves towards you when you don’t budge, gripping your chin between his fingers.

His gaze is sharp, his dark brown eyes narrowed as he looks over your features. He reaches a free hand up to your floppy ears, giving them a flick. A frown crosses over his features as he gives you an appraising gaze , clicking his tongue. “They’ll have to get done. Don’t like ‘em.”

His fingers and thumb dig into your cheeks, forcing a gap between your teeth so you open your mouth. He shoves his fingers down your throat, sighing when you gag and splutter. “Gonna have to train that outta ya. Those canines are gonna have to get fixed, too. Bet they’d fuckin’ hurt if they caught my dick.”

He pulls his fingers out of your mouth and wipes your spit off on your cheek, smirking when your nose wrinkles. He reaches down, tugging on your fluffy tail with a thoughtful expression. “That can stay, though. Cute.”

”Bend over the table, pup. Spread your legs, lemme see your cunt.” He orders, releasing your tail and taking a step back. Your hesitance irritates him, and his hand comes out to smack you across your face so hard that your head snaps to the side, your ears ringing. “Don’t make me say it again. I fuckin’ hate repeating myself.”

Your tail is tucked between your legs as you shift to lean over the table, those fluffy ears pressed down firmly against your head. Doesn’t bother Naoya. He kicks your feet apart, pulling your pants and underwear down in one tug. The tail is a little bit of an obstacle still, so he sighs and scratches behind your ears.

”C’mon now, baby. I didn’t mean it.” He coos, making sure he finds the spot behind your ear that has you pushing back against his hand. His tone is condescending, but that dumb puppy brain of yours can’t register that. He grins as your tail perks up and wags, showing you off to him. “That’s better. Lemme get a look at that pretty pussy.”

He kneels behind you, spreading your folds with two fingers, humming in satisfaction as strings of slick spread and break at his actions. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t pick out a puppy for that exact reason - a few words of praise, and you were soaked. He slips a finger deep into your cunt, adding another one and scissoring them open before groaning at the tightness. You felt like a virgin, too. Perfect.

He pulls his fingers out and licks them clean, wiping his spit off on your clothes before he pulls them back on. He gives your ass a few pats as he stands up, turning around to bang a few times on the door.

”Hey! I’ll take her.”

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗

Naoya’s unpredictable.

It’s hard to settle into a routine with him. He can be easy to handle one moment, only to switch up at the next second. He’s never kind - that’s not the right word for him - but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have his moments. If you’re good, he’ll let you curl up at the foot of his bed. Sometimes he’ll even let you sit at his feet when he’s relaxing, petting your head absentmindedly.

Those moments are few and far between. For the most part, he’s cold. He doesn’t pay much attention to you unless he’s feeding you or if it’s play time.

He shows you the most attention when he wants to play. He’ll praise you, scratch behind those freshly cropped ears standing tall on your head and run his fingertips through the fur of your tail until it’s wagging fast enough that he knows you’ll be pliant and eager for anything he wants to do to you. You’d tried whining, begging, pleading… Anything just to get him to look at you and show you some affection, but you quickly learned that the only way you could guarantee something from him was to paw at the front of his pants until he’s twitching against your hand.

His choice of affection has a bit of a side effect, and you’re unlucky enough that Naoya notices it. All it takes is one little ‘good girl’ or a scratch on your head for you to be soaked, whining and rutting against any part of him you could reach. He loves feeling you wrapped around him, but he loves teasing you even more. So, naturally, as soon as realizes how desperate his touch makes you, he decides it would be a fun little game for him to see just how needy you could get.

He’s leaning back against the couch when he spots you padding over, that fluffy tail slowly picking up speed the closer he gets to you. He can’t help but chuckle when he spots you settling on the floor by his feet, a smirk spreading across his face when you rest your chin on his thigh. Your gaze flicks up to his face, a longing expression on your features. His hand comes down to pet your head, fingers scratching your scalp gently.

”You need something, girl?” He coos, tugging on one of your bandaged ears until you whimper, biting back a laugh when you lean into the touch regardless of the pain that comes with it. You’re always so eager to please, it drives him crazy.

“Need you, please.” You whine, your ears tilting back slightly, unable to press flat against your head due to the wrapping keeping them up so they heal pointed. He grins wolfishly at your words, yanking you by the collar until you’re straddling his thigh, a mischievous going in his eyes.

”Go on then, pup. I’m too tired to deal with you myself. You can handle it, can’t you?” He hums, giving your head a pat before crossing his arms behind his head as he leans back on the couch. You give him a curious little head tilt, confusion twisting your cute little face. He loves it when you give him that look - you’re just a dumb puppy, nothing more than entertainment for him. He can’t help but feel amused, shifting his leg so he can press his thigh more firmly against your core.

”You’re a big girl, aren’t you? I’m sure you can figure it out, puppy.” You seem to get the picture, a soft, needy sound rising in your throat as the hard muscle of his thigh presses against your cunt through the fabric of your shorts. Your hips start shifting on their own, rutting against him desperately. Your mouth falls open, artificially rounded canines digging into the flesh of your bottom lip.

Your hands come down to rest on your own thighs - you know better than to touch Naoya without asking, and you don’t want this to end so soon. Your nails press into your flesh, leaving indents on the surface of the skin. Naoya’s face is a mask of indifference. There’s no sign of enjoyment from him, the only hint that he isn’t completely unaffected by your actions is the tent forming beneath the fabric of his pants. You whine when you realize he isn’t even looking at you, staring over your shoulder to look over one of the paintings on the wall.

You want him inside of you, want his strong hands to grasp your thighs as he fucks into you. The thought alone has you panting, your head hanging as your tail starts to wag again, steady behind you as you grind against his thigh more harshly. Your breaths come out heavier, your cunt soaking through the fabric of your shorts to coat his own pants.

You’re so overwhelmed with your rapidly approaching orgasm, how good it feels to finally be this close to your owner that you don’t see his hand reaching for his phone until it’s too late. You yelp as your collar zaps you, the fur on your tail standing on end as the shock makes you spasm, your hips quickly pulling away from his thigh.

”I didn’t say you could cum, did I? Bad girl.” He hisses, grabbing you by the hair and dragging you across the floor, forcing you into your crate with a swift kick. He slams the door behind you, locking it before stepping back. “You can stay there for the rest of the night. If I hear you so much as fuckin’ squeak, you’re not getting let out for the rest of the week. Got it?”

You nod quickly, but that’s clearly not good enough for him. He taps at the screen of his phone a few times before pressing his thumb down for a longer period. The voltage is higher, and he doesn’t let up on shocking you until you drop against the blanket in your crate, your fingers twitching. He scoffs at the sight, letting go of the button.

”Pathetic. If I’m talking to you, I expect an answer. Surely you’re not so stupid you’ve forgotten how to use your words?”

”N-no. I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll be quiet.” You whisper, your voice shaking slightly with the effort it takes you to hold back tears.

”Stupid mutt.” He grunts, fiddling with his trousers until he can free his cock. His jaw tenses in slight annoyance at how quickly that has you perking up, your eyes wide with interest like he’s holding a damn treat up for you. He steps closer to your crate, pressing his length down against the bars above your head. Naoya can’t help but laugh as you try to crane your head to get a taste of him, his eyes shining with amusement as your tongue laps between the gaps to catch his skin.

”Look at you. You were crying a second ago, and now you’re drooling like a bitch in heat? You are the single most pitiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on.” He muses, letting out another chuckle at the whine that spills from your lips when he pulls away from the crate.

”Go to sleep.” He grunts as he tucks himself back into his trousers, his eyes trained on your as he takes a step back. “If you’re good enough, I might let you out for breakfast.”

˗ˏˋ ☆ ˎˊ˗

The next morning, Naoya is wordless as he approaches your cage.You can tell from his narrowed, fox-like gaze that he hasn’t forgiven you from last night, his jaw set tight as if you hadn’t just made a small mistake. Naoya expected nothing but perfection from his pet, and it was something he made abundantly clear. He opens the door, his eyes narrowed in on your slumped over figure.

”Out.” The words are short and clipped, but firm, leaving no room to argue. It wasn’t a request, but a command. You weren’t stupid enough to ignore it.

He watches you crawl out of the cage, kneeling at his feet on the cold floor. You keep your gaze trained downwards, unable to meet his eyes. You look so pathetic it almost angers him, a crease forming between his brows as looks down at you. He slowly strips his clothes, his eyes locked onto you the entire time.

“Strip.” You listen, pulling your clothes off and adding them to his own pile on the floor. There’s no praise now, no attempts to get you wet enough to take him. He just pushes you down onto all fours before spitting directly onto your cunt as he forces his cock into your tight heat. It’s meant to be a punishment, but all it takes for you to get wet is the feeling of him stretching you out, your tail swaying side to side as his tip presses up against your cervix.

”Such a slut… Dripping as soon as you see cock. Bet it doesn’t even have to be mine, hmm? Could pass you around the whole clan and you’d gladly let each and every one of ‘em mount you until you were sore and dripping cum.” He spat, his hips rocking forward harshly. He builds up a steady pace, pounding into you brutally.

”Wouldn’t…” You manage to force out, brows furrowing as you try to rock back against his hips, your walls pulsing around his length. “Just you… want your pups.”

”Aww, that’s cute. You want me to breed you, girl? Is that it?” He lets out a cruel laugh, tugging on your tail to pull you back against him with each thrust, his cock brutally pounding into your tight cunt. “You think I’d let you carry my seed? That your bastard children could be sufficient heirs for the Zen’in clan? I’d never let you have puppies. Stupid fuckin’ bitch. Didn’t even realize I got you spayed? You just believe every little thing I tell you, huh?”

Fuck, he really likes the look of your tears. Nearly has him cumming from the way you look sobbing on his dick, the way you clench around him like you're trying to milk him dry despite how upset you are. It doesn't matter what he does to you, not when you're so forgiving. He knows he can say whatever he pleases and you'd still come running back to him, tail tucked between your legs like you were the one in the wrong.

He presses down between your shoulder blades, forcing your chest flat against the hard-wood floor as he keeps your ass in the air with his grip on your tail. With your back arched, the new angle allows him to fuck into you deeper, bullying himself into you without any regard for your pleasure. You were nothing more than something to use to him - a glorified fleshlight, at best. He only let you cum because of how tight you squeezed him when you did, how hot it was to see your dripping down his length.

This wasn’t about you right now - it was meant to be a punishment. You'd be lucky if he decided to let you cum in the following weeks, let alone today when he's still pissed off at you for almost breaking one of his rules.

His hips smack the fat of your ass with every thrust, low grunts spilling past his lips as he wraps your tail around his hand, smacking your thigh in frustration when you yelp at the discomfort that comes with it. He's increasingly glad with every pained whimper as his grip tightens that he decided not to dock your tail. It's so much better than a leash could ever be, forcing you back onto his imposing length everytime it gets too much for you and you try to crawl away.

“M'gonna cum.” He groans, harshly forcing your upper body further against the floor as he leans his weight on the hand pushing you down, slick sounds filling the room as he thrusts himself brutally in and out of your twitching pussy. He yanks on your tail, pulling you back against him as he cums with a grunt, his cock twitching inside of your abused cunt. He ruts his hips into you shallowly as he rides out his high before pulling out, smacking your ass once before standing up, ignoring your pleas to let you cum.

“Stupid mutt.” He spits out, rolling you onto your back with his foot, pressing it down against your stomach to hold you down. He spits on your face, a huff of laughter leaving him as your nose wrinkles. “I've been too good to you. Made you think you have a say.”

“You are a toy.” He continues, pulling his foot away with you before moving to gather his clothes. He pulls them on, leaving you panting and leaking his cum on the floor. “Something for me to use when I get bored.”

He makes his way to the door, shooting one last glance at you over his shoulder. “The quicker you learn that, the better.”

[swappedandtrapped]

Rent Help - Part 1

Hey, first thing I'm posting here. Character consistency with AI is difficult for me, so just go with it.

It wasn't a good time in my life. The pandemic hit, making me unemployed. I stayed at home to avoid getting sick and with nothing to do I was starting to find any excuse to go out of my room. I was renting this flat with another guy I found on Craigslist, Roy.

Roy was my age, he moved in from some place outside the county a few years ago and we managed to stay out of each others' way. Maybe except a few times I heard his booming voice shout at the TV, cursing other players in some online game. He was also too comfortable in the house, taking off his shirt and staying like that even when guests came over.

Slowly, the world came back to order. The quarantines stopped, but I was still out of a job. I ended up searching for a long while. I was struggling and really tried to be frugal. Eating cheap, saving up, the usual. But my savings were about to run out.

I was desperate, and even though I felt bad doing so, I asked Roy if he could lend me the money for rent. Roy, to my disappointment, refused. He said he had really bad experiences with friends he lent money to, but never payed him back. I begged, said it was a sure thing, I was willing to do anything, sign contracts, whatever he wanted.

"Sorry man," He said. "You know how it is, I can't let my friends owe me money," He insisted. "But if you're willing to do something for me in return, I think we can still work something out." I was hesitant. "What do you mean? Like doing your laundry?" "Well. Sort of." He smiled. "Just make sure to be free this weekend so you could help me with that thing." It was either that or become homeless, so I jumped to hug him "Yes, of course! Anything! Thanks man!" "No worries. I'll give you the details Friday morning."

The week went by quick. I wasn't sure what he wanted, but I guessed it was just some house work or doing errands for him. He was straight, so anything sex related was out of the question. I relaxed and knew that I won't be kicked out of my place. At least this month.

…

Friday morning came, but my alarm didn't go off. I woke from the direct sunlight peaking through the window curtains when I knew that my window was facing west. But the first thing that I knew was wrong was the smell. Something smelled... Wrong... Like someone else's laundry. In my half-asleep state, I turned on my side to get my phone to check the time. Eyes still closed, I couldn't feel the phone on my nightstand. I opened my eyes to see where the hell was it, but my heart stopped when I first saw my hand.

It definitely wasn't my hand. Darker skin, hairier, and a bit bigger than mine. I saw it was attached to a foreign arm with the same features of the hand. Darker skin, more hair, and bigger than mine. I gasped in fright and used the hand and arm to take off the blanket and reveal what was underneath.

Not my body. This is definitely not my body. I was wearing only pajama shorts, which I never do. My chest was thick, heavy, and hairy. My gut spilling over its own weight. My legs wiggled with fat from my movement. Wait, is this… Roy's body? I touched my chin and felt the beard Roy had. I took a look up from my body and saw I was actually in his bed, which is also in his room. What the fuck happened to me? What is going on? I run to a mirror to see if my fear is true. All I saw was Roy, having the same expression of horror I had.

I screamed, only to quickly stop and cover my mouth. What the hell was this sound coming out of me? "Ahh, test, test." I tried to listen and realized I also heard Roy's voice coming my throat. MY throat! I couldn't escape it. I tried looking for a way out of this body, clawing my skin to find an opening, but all I did was hurt myself.

I was out of breath. I started to sweat. The world was spinning and I had to sit down. After crashing on the shared living room sofa, my heartbeat lowered to a normal pace, but I was still shocked. "What the fu-" I said, surprised again to hear Roy's accent through my teeth. Was this a dream? What the fuck is going on?

"Can you keep it down? It's barely 8 o'clock." a voice behind me said. My voice. My real voice. I looked up to see who I assumed was "Roy?". I stood up to face him. "I didn't think you'd wake up this early, but whatever, I guess we can do this now." "You… You knew about this?" I stammered. "Wait. Did YOU do this?!" "Don't make a big deal out of it man, I told you I'll needed you on Friday." "FOR WHAT!?" I shouted, with his booming voice. "For replacing you?!"

"Don't give yourself too much credit. It's just for this weekend.". He started getting ready to go out. "And I don't need you to replace me, I just needed to not be me for a bit." "WHAT THE FUCK ROY?!" I started getting out of breath again. Maybe even a low-key panic attack. "Why didn't you say anything about that? I thought I was just gonna clean your room or something!"

"I don't understand why you're so upset. You're getting free rent money for basically just sitting on your ass all day." "Because you TOOK MY BODY." "Don't be dramatic, it's just for the weekend. I'm borrowing it." He put on my coat on his way out. "Couldn't you tell me before? How did you even do this?"

"That's not important, I've had this thing since I was little." He started putting on my shoes and tying his shoelaces. Listen, if you don't want this, we can switch back now, but forget about the rent. I'm not giving out free money. It's your choice."

I started to form an insult, but quickly realized this might be my only option. And is being in Roy's body for a weekend really that bad?

"And this is just for the weekend?" "Yes." "And all I have to do is stay here?" "Or go out, I don't care. I just need your body." "But why?" "That's where the money comes in. Most of the pay is for you being discreet about this." The gears in my head turned. "What, like something illegal? Sex? Don't do weird shit in my body." "Nothing sketchy, I promise, but I really need to go. I'll be back tomorrow."

He closed the door after him, leaving me still shocked at the situation he got me into.

Thanks for reading. Part 2 out soon.

[samsno1]

Honesty

Sam Winchester x Reader

lmao, i'm sorry. this is kind of an au where instead of sam getting the trials...you do! haha......might make a second part to this but i'll see how it'll do. also, in this there isn't the stupid "sam doesn't look for dean in purgatory" because the writers were fucked up when they wrote that, respectfully (or not)

Summary: You finally have a chance to close the Gates of Hell, forever, but everything comes with a cost, the question is, are you willing to pay for it?

Warnings: ANGST, love confessions, sad sammy, kisses, reader sees bobby as a father figure, reader is shorter than Sam, NOT PROOF-READ, english is not my first language

WC: 3.7k

You can learn how to change Y/N for your actual name here

enjoy!

As you lie there, soaked in hellhound's blood, panting after a fight against the creature, the glasses you wore to be able to see it dirty and obstructing your view, Sam and Dean stare at you, frozen and horrified.

You knew they would try and talk you out of doing the trials, especially after Dean's words to both you and Sam before he went on to almost get killed by the hellhound. Of course you two had followed him, even if Dean explicitly said not to, and you ended up under the dog, his disgusting breath fanning on your face as he barked above you, trying to rip your neck off. You knifed it and it quite literally exploded over you, bathing you in his gooey substance.

Now, all of you were in a room, Dean pacing back and forth while Sam just stood with his head down. You had your arms crossed, your eyes accompanied Dean's movements. He was restless, probably angry and desperately trying to find a way to counter this.

“We can find another hellhound,” He argues “I kill it then it's all solved”

“Dean, Crowley will be even more on our asses over this, he will not let his dogs out of the leash” You say, calmly, trying to counter Dean's protectiveness in the lightest way possible. “I can do them”

After you said that Dean stopped pacing around and both him and Sam looked up at you, eyebrows furrowed, almost as if you had just admitted to an unforgivable crime. The crime in the case was wanting to protect the brothers from these crazy trials. You knew how death followed them around like a plague and you couldn't handle losing them.

“No, Y/N, you're not doing these trials” Sam speaks up, a tinge of anger in his tone. Anger, worry. He looked at you, his hair casting a shadow over his face because of the poor lightning in the environment. “You could die”

“Well, too bad Sam” You said and the boys shared that look, a silent conversation between both of them, something that pissed you off in these moments because you had the right to know what they were plotting. “Look, I know you two feel like you have some responsibility over me, this…instinct to protect me ever since Bobby…” You trailed off, the memory of the man you considered to be your father still too heavy on you. Sam frowned and Dean changed his position, on edge. You cleared your throat, the sudden lump bothering you. “But I can protect myself, I can fight my own battles and, honestly? If we do close the gates of hell for good, which battles will be there to fight?” You say with a faint smile.

You look between both of them. They seemed deep in thought. Too deep and that worried you. You slowly walked towards Sam and when he took notice he stiffened up, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed harshly, his eyes taking in your rather dirty appearance. But still beautiful, he mentally stated.

Sam always thought you were the most incredible woman he ever met, invincible even, nothing could ever put you down and you could make everything work your way with your amazing mind and skills. And, obviously, your killer looks always managed to stun him every time, everywhere.

He was used to seeing you in any type of clothing, from suits and dresses to sweats and shirts with corny sayings written in the front, which you argued were comfortable. And you always looked absolutely gorgeous wearing anything. Sam used to think he just admired you, the looks from afar were just friendly appreciation, his yearn to be around you was just a protective instinct, the goosebumps on his skin when you’d touch him were just a natural reaction…

Until it wasn’t just. It was. And that was horrifying.

And it got worse when both you and him spent the last year alone looking for Dean and Cas. Spending so much time beside you made Sam realize what he truly felt towards you and he was scared. Scared to say anything and scared to lose you. So, when you killed that hellhound, his heart fell to his stomach because he knew you would want to do the trials. 

And when you stretched your hand to him, looking directly in his eyes, that determined gaze of yours slicing through his soul, he knew you would do anything to go along with this.

“Sam, give me the spell” You said firmly, not a request, a demand. He swallowed again, still speechless, still frozen, his fist tightening around the small paper which contained the words in enochian you were supposed to recite for the trials to start. You emphasize your demand by widening your eyes angrily and doing ‘come here’ motions with your stretched hand. “Sam”

“Y/N-”

“Dean.” You interrupt, anger seeping into your tone, making Dean shut his mouth into a thin line and a huff of air come out of his nose, just like a child would do when it was refused candy before dinner. He thought he’d seen you like this before, determined, practically unstoppable but boy was he wrong. You were more than insistent and that rang an alarm in Dean’s head. You knew that the one responsible for the trials could die and you were willingly going with it.

“Dean, can you give us a moment” Sam speaks up again and you quirk an eyebrow at him, looking between him and his brother. Sam looks at Dean, his pleading eyes and subtle nod giving enough information for Dean to get the message across. If there is one thing that can make you understand is honesty.

Dean slowly walks out of the room, giving you one last look that said clearly that you needed to listen with an open heart and mind to anything Sam would say. When he closed the door behind him, Sam’s eyes were already on you, trained on your features and you shifted your weight on your feet, his stare intimidating.

“So?” You said, trying to keep your ground. Sam sighed and lowered his head, considering all his options in the situation, he could tell you everything and be either rejected or accepted, he could lie to you, give you the wrong spell and work his way out like he always did and still keep you safe. Honesty. The word echoed in his mind like a chant.

He pushed himself off the table he was leaning on, crossing with you and going towards the bed to sit down. Your whole body accompanied his movements, his long strides making the distance between the table and the bed shorter than it actually was.

Once sat he looked at you and then at the spot beside him on the bed, silently asking you to sit with him and you caved, obliging to him. Your feet were light on the floor, quiet, accustomed to being silent while being a hunter, as you walked to the bed. The hardness of the cushion was not too much of a bother but still kept you grounded. Don’t let your guard down.

After making yourself as comfortable as possible, sitting criss-crossed, you turned towards Sam who was with both his feet on the floor, staring at his hands drying his sweat on his jeans. You waited for him to travel inside his own mind, finding the words, the phrases, the honesty. 

Honesty. Honesty. Honesty.

You swam in your own thoughts, especially those in which Sam was included. And those were the few thousands of reasons you wanted to be the one doing the trials, not him, not Dean. In your time alone, Sam had opened up to you about his want to live a normal life, away from apocalypses, monsters, gods…White picket fence, the whole nine. Dean had wanted that too, hell maybe he wouldn’t let go completely of the hunting but at least he wouldn’t have to deal with demons on his ass, never ever again. You didn’t see yourself getting out.

You grew up in this, much like the boys, but to you was different. You liked it. The adrenaline was like a drug pumping through your veins everytime you killed an abomination and, honestly, family wasn’t your strongest trait. All those whom you considered family were cremated – just because…we don’t usually bury hunters, so you can’t say they are six-feet under. Your love life was most definitely inexistent, you didn’t have time for falling in love with anyone.

Until. You did.

Until you fell. And hard. Face first in a bag of nails because you knew it would be trouble falling in love with Sam Winchester. You were both unlucky when it came to that feeling, always losing, always sacrificing, always in a battle. But how could you not? He was a gentleman in full, kind, sweet, caring and at the same time deadly – no pun intended. He would protect those he cared for with his life, his sense of protection his greatest quality. He was so selfless sometimes it made you mad. You had told him once ‘Be selfish, just this one time!’ and even so he couldn’t. It wasn’t his nature.

Sam wanted out of this and you wouldn’t let him abandon that dream because of you. You weren’t worth his life, you told him once after following a lead on how to open the doors to Purgatory and pull Cas and Dean out that almost got both of you killed. You were crying as you drove him to the hospital, the blood on your hands staining the steering wheel.

He was pale, his hand weekly pressing over the wound on his stomach, his breathing shallow. When you told him that, he trained his tired eyes on your face and in a rough and tired voice told you to shut up. Shut it, jerk. And fainted.

At the hospital you stayed hours by his bed every day. The doctors had told you he would be okay, that thankfully no vital organs were damaged and when he woke up you hugged him tightly, your arms wrapping around his neck desperately trying to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere. His hands soothed you, rubbing your back up and down. You won’t get rid of me that easily, he had said and you laughed.

Ever since then you swore to yourself that you would guarantee that Sam wouldn’t put himself in danger for you anymore and you were not breaking that promise.

“Do you remember the night we met?” Sam spoke and you turned your eyes to his face, his hair shining against the yellow light and worry lines between his eyebrows.

“John had left you at Bobby’s and when I came back from school you scared the shit out of me. I had my gun in hand and everything until Bobby popped up, desperately trying to explain” You said, smiling at the memory. You were all so young back then, Sam was still shorter than you – which didn’t last long – and you had lost your parents a few months back.

“Ever since that night I knew you would be…something in the long run” You gave him a puzzled look and he laughed lightly at your face, his dimples appearing on his cheeks. “I knew you would turn out to be strong, brave and I knew you would end up being one of the most important people to me”

You smiled stupidly at that, your face heating up. You didn’t know what to say to him, your eyes drifting to your fingers over your lap because you couldn't keep his strong gaze. Sam sighed and considered his options, he could either hide his feelings for longer or be honest. Honesty, honesty. The word echoed through his mind like a mantra.

Sam reached his hand to wrap over one of yours, making your eyes shift from your hands to his face again. Physical touch wasn't uncommon between the both of you. Sleeping in the same bed when motels were full, sleeping on each other's shoulders, – more you than Sam given the height difference – hugs, cheek kisses, cuddling while watching movies. But something about this hand hold felt more intimate, like a wave of emotions were being poured over you like cold water. Sam squeezed your hand.

“I can't lose you” Sam said, his voice low because he knew that if he spoke any louder he could break.

“Sam–”

“Y/N. Please.” He begs, even if he doesn't know what he's begging for. Please, let me talk. Please, don't do the trials. Please, love me like I love you. “I can't lose you”

He repeats and you feel like you just got punched in the guts or like a knife went through your chest. He sounded so raw. Those four words meaning more than any poetry you've ever laid eyes upon. You squeeze his hand to ground yourself.

“Can't or won't?” You ask, voice weak.

“Both” He answers. “Both because I won't let you do this and can't because if I lose you I won't know how to keep going.”

You shake your head no, closing your eyes for a brief moment, your memories together flooding in again. His smile tattooed in your brain, his laugh playing over and over like a broken vinyl. You needed to do this.

“If I do this then that means you can finally have a life, a wife, kids…I can't let you lose this.” You say, tears welling up in your eyes. “And I need to do this for you, for Dean, for Charlie…Losing me is just a consequence for the greater good”

Now it's Sam who shakes his head, low breathy no's coming out of his mouth. He looks up at you, eyes watery and those stupid puppy dog eyes staring right into your soul, crushing your heart to pieces.

“You don't get it” He says “When I look into the future I can't imagine–” He takes a breath, considering whether to tell you or not. Fuck it. “I can't imagine it without you. The house, the kids running around, the dog…they're ours.” He stops for a moment, waiting to see if you caught what he meant but you just looked at him, wide beautiful eyes full of confusion.

“Sam what are you–”

“And you're the wife. My wife.” He says and he can see the realization come into your face, slowly. The way your jaw drops slightly, your shoulders tense and your hand squeezes his even harder. Sam swallows but now he can't back away. “So I can't let you do this because if you do it and die I won't be able to keep going because I love you, Y/N. I love you and even if you don't reciprocate I won't stop loving you. You're the first thing I think when I wake up and the last thing I think about once I fall asleep.” He keeps going, almost out of breath once he finishes, avoiding your eyes, avoiding rejection. “So, please, don't”

Don't do this, don't reject me, don't run.

“Sam, look at me” You say, one hand slowly grasping his cheek, your thumb drying a tear that he didn't know had fallen. Once he looked at you he saw you smiling. Smiling with teary eyes. “I love you, too”

You practically whispered and a feeling rushed into Sam's body. Like someone had shot him up with adrenaline and suddenly he was aware of everything around him, your warm hand on his cheek, your hand under his, the white noise of the animals outside. And his own heartbeat.

He closed the distance between the both of you, his lips finally touching yours in desperation. Pure and raw desperation. His hand went up your arm to your neck, gently pulling you more into him and yours slipped to tangle into his hair, running the soft locks through your fingers.

The kiss felt electric and it burned. Burned you from the inside out with the wave of a thousand emotions. Your head went back to those moments with Sam. Your mind was just completely him.

And it was the same for the Winchester.

He already had thoughts consisting mostly of you but now he felt in heaven, like in finally connected with whom he mostly desired, both physically and emotionally. His other hand slipped around your waist to pull yourself over him as he laid down on the bed.

You followed and slightly smiled into the kiss. Until you grounded yourself. Sam wouldn't let you do the trials, not now that you had confessed, not now that he knew you loved him too. So you had to take matters into your own hands.

As Sam laid you over him, you straddled his hips, the kiss continuing into an unexplained hunger and lust for each other. You sensually dragged your hand down his chest, earning a soft gasp out of him, both his hands tangling in your hair, messing up your curls.

Your hand that slid down his body discreetly went into his pocket, feeling for the paper with the spell written on it. You mentally apologized over and over to Sam, your mouth opening to let his tongue in to explore it, butterflies flying around in your stomach. He was gentle, caring but yet hungry and you could feel it.

I'm sorry. 

You pulled away breathless, the paper clutched in your hand and Sam looked at you through hooded eyes, his chest heaving with his heavy breaths and a confused frown on his face.

“I'm sorry Sammy” You said as you got off the bed and started to quickly pronounce the words in enochian, your hands trembling around the paper. Sam widened his eyes once he realized what you'd done, patting his pocket in reflex, knowing you had taken it out of there, and stubbled off the bed.

“Y/N, no, please!” He yelled but it was too late. Once you said the last word an almost unbearable pain cursed through your whole body, knocking you to your knees, a loud groan of pain leaving your throat.

Sam kneeled beside you with a hand on your back, mumbling curses and apologies to you but you couldn't hear him, the pain so strong it made your ears ring. You felt a burn, like you had injected lava into your veins, opening your eyes to see your arms shining. Everything was spinning and the only thing guaranteeing you that you were still alive was Sam's warm touch over your back.

After seconds of excruciating pain you felt it going down and saw your arms returning to their normal tone. You collapsed into Sam's arms and he made sure to hold you tightly, still mumbling apologies with his eyes glossy with tears.

“Why did you do this?” He repeated, over and over. He didn't know if he wanted to kill you or hug you so he decided for the latter. He hugged your frame, pressing your head against his chest with a trembling hand and giving light kisses over it.

His other hand pressed your back against him, making your whole body stay in contact with his. His knees hurt on the hard ground but nothing compared to the pain he felt in his heart. He felt helpless.

You opened your eyes to look up at him, a faint smile on your face. You lifted a hand up to his cheek and took a very good look at the handsome man you loved. He was crying but he always looked beautiful, no matter how.

At your touch he closed his eyes, guilt spreading through his body. He touched his forehead to yours, making you close your eyes until you spoke up.

“I did this because I love you” You said and he opened his mouth to protest. You gave him a look, saying you weren’t done. “I love you too much to see you die and I know you can keep going if I die, you are one of the strongest men I know. You’re smart, you’re brave and you went through so much that I can’t let you give it up because of me. And you know I would never, ever, let you take responsibility over this and I don’t want you to blame yourself, this was my choice”

“I can’t– I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m so sorry I got you into this, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you–” You stopped him with a kiss and he sighed sadly, his hands wrapping around you tighter as if you would disappear at any second. You felt horrible but at the same time relieved. Relieved that if anything happened, Sam would live.

“Don’t say that” You whisper against his lips. “Don’t apologize for something that isn’t your fault. This is on me.” You say as you pull slowly away to look into his eyes, the mix of colors hypnotizing you. You felt like you could see every ounce of his soul through those eyes and it was filled with sadness.

Sam was angry, not at you, at himself. The moment he saw the hellhound die above you, bathing you in its blood he knew it was over, that you wouldn’t back away but still he blamed himself. If I were quicker. If I were smarter. The words ran around in his brain. When he looked at you he saw yet another one of those he loved dead. Another corpse that hung over his shoulder.

“We can do this, I can do this. I’m strong enough” You said. Sam knew you were strong but this was beyond you. This was God and Demons and Heaven and Hell. This was biblical and nothing like the things you faced before. He was scared.

“I know you are but what if I’m not?” He asks and you wait for him to continue. “What if I’m not strong enough to let you go if it comes to it?”

“You’ll have to be. If not for yourself, for me. Keep going for me” You reply with a soft look and a slight smile that made Sam choke on a sob and smash his lips against yours.

This kiss was filled with different emotions. Sadness, grief and guilt were poured into it but yet so much love. So, so much.

You didn’t get a verbal answer from Sam but you got plenty of information from the kiss. I’ll try, for you.

And that was enough.

A/N: Notes and reblogs encourage me to keep writing, feedback makes those writings better. Thank you for reading, Xoxo.

[apomaro-mellow]

Every Baby Needs a Daddy 17

Part 16

Eddie's chin was perched on Steve's shoulder, reading through the contents of the letter. There was a bunch of legal jargon that went over his head, but it was purely the fact that his parents sent it that document that spoke volumes about the kinds of people they were. Eddie also took to heart that fact Steve hardly ever mentioned them.

"And what exactly are they asking you to 'cease and desist'?" It was too early in the morning for such small print and lawyer-language. Eddie rubbed his eyes.

"Nothing they haven't said before. "I'm an embarrassment to them and they want me to stop."

Eddie hugged Steve from behind and kissed his shoulder. Then he kissed the back of his neck. As he did, he pulled the letter from his hand and then kissed his cheek.

"I'll let my people look over this, but there's no way they can order you to do anything. And if they keep bothering you, we can counter-sue for harassment."

Steve turned around in his arms and smiled. "You'd sue my parents for me?"

"Anything for my baby. I'd keep them wrapped up in court dates for years."

No one bothered his baby. Especially when he wasn't doing anything wrong. Just the idea of Eddie doing so made Steve swoon a little. This was exactly what he had dreamed of. Being scooped up from his humdrum life, filled with stress and anxiety and disappointment and being embraced by someone not just willing to love on him, but take care of him. Steve hadn't worried about a single bill since he and Eddie got together. The amount of times he'd pulled out his own money to pay could be counted on one hand.

"Hmm, I think we'll let them squirm a bit", Steve finally decided. "They don't get to stamp their feet after ignoring me for years."

And so, the letter was pretty much ignored in favor of other things going on. Steve didn't make any effort to be seen less in public. If anything, he was seen more, on the arm of someone from Corroded Coffin. Steve thought he'd be bothered by being photographed all the time. And while it was odd (he didn't know what the fuss was about him and Gareth looking at stationary) so far no one had caught him in any sort of compromising position.

He and Eddie had fucked in the backseat during a car wash and the most provocative picture the tabloids had was one of Eddie's nose buried in his neck, one squeezing his behind as they tried to do a quick makeout in an alley.

And any negative comments were not only drowned out by the positive ones, but they were also easy to ignore when he had a pack of men showering him with adoration.

One night, his parents called and while Steve would rather not been bothered with them, he felt like a shield was cast over him while he was cuddled up to Eddie on one side and the rest of his pack sitting around the living room. So this time, he answered.

"Hello mother."

"You think you're funny, don't you? You think this is all a joke? Have you even thought about us once? Honestly, every morning I wake up thinking there's going to be a picture of you with your pants down or you on your knees or some other-I just don't know where we went wrong with you Steven but this is truly unacceptable."

"What exactly is unacceptable about all of this? What do you actually know about it?"

Eddie muted the tv and gestured for Steve to put her on speaker so that they could all hear. Steve did and his mother's voice sounded around the room.

"We know you're running around with a bunch of musicians, doing god knows what, probably drugs and ruining our family name. Do you know how many times Irene Netting has had something to say about you? I swear the woman has no life but I can't refute the facts she's telling about you."

"You never bothered to get the facts from me", Steve said.

"Did you read the terms in our letter?"

"You mean the cease and desist order?"

"You are going to stop besmirching the Harrington name. By any means necessary. And if that means we have to drag you back home, well, thankfully there's an associate of your father's that's still interested. He's a beta, but beggars can't be choosers."

Steve could scent the way his pack felt about that and if that wasn't enough, the way they were glaring at his phone told the whole story. Eddie held his hand out for it and Steve gave it over, wondering what he'd say.

"Sorry to disappoint, but Steve is already home. And he's not leaving just so you can sell him off to someone twice his age."

"Who is this!? Steven Phillip Harrington, are you living with those animals?"

Steve refrained from making a comment about how beastly Eddie could be in bed. But decided now was as good a time as any to introduce them all. "Mother, this is Eddie, my alpha. Eddie, my dear mother."

Her sucking in a breath could be heard, clearly about to admonish her son again, when Jeff spoke up.

"You know, if it's just about messing up the 'Harrington name' all Steve needs to do is change it."

"Yeah, but to what?", Gareth asked, like the answer wasn't obvious.

It was clear to Steve and Eddie. It was clear the moment they locked eyes. Steve felt the need to bare his neck, to let Eddie claim that last part of himself and be joined forever. Abruptly, Eddie got up from the couch and got down on his knees in front of his love. Steve hung up the phone without ever taking his eyes off of his alpha.

"Stevie, baby, angel, muse of my soul", Eddie kissed his knee. "Would you do me the honor of taking my last name?"

Steve thought back to the night they first met, when he was certain he'd never have Eddie's attention for more than a night, if only for an hour. And now he was prostrated before him, offering his bite. Unable to help himself, Steve fell to his feet, wrapping his arms around his intended.

"Yes! Now. Give it to me now", Steve pleaded, leaning his head to the side to expose his neck.

Eddie hummed into his skin, kissing Steve's neck and even pressing his lips to that special spot in a tease before pulling back. Steve's pout was almost enough to make him do it right now. But he couldn't. He wouldn't.

"You deserve a proper courtship, baby. And a proper mating." They may have skipped a few steps, but Eddie was determined to show his beloved how much he meant to him. "If you thought you were spoiled before..."

Steve kissed him and then kissed him again. He couldn't wait and wanted it now. But also the thought of being courted, like an old fashioned courting from back in the day. He also couldn't wait for that. And Eddie wasted no time.

The very next day, Eddie went in full force. Steve was met with courting gifts, Eddie got the approval of Robin, and even the rest of his home pack when they barged in on the video call with Robin.

"I'll withhold my full approval until we can meet in person, Mr. Munson. But for now, you have my permission to court him", Robin said.

When Robin was finally able to come down and meet him, Steve was excited to introduce her. What ended up happening was that he had two menaces on his hands. But that just meant that Robin saw him as an equal and thus perfect for her Steve. And so, two months after announcing his intention, Eddie took Steve on a nice night out. After shopping for an eye catching outfit, they went to a show, dinner, and then when they returned home, Eddie took them right to their bedroom.

By now, their den and nest had become one and Steve knew that he'd never have to take it apart unless an item needed to be washed or re-scented. Tonight, as Eddie lay him down Steve reveled in the scents there. More than one item was fresh. The boys must've scented their clothes while they were on their date.

"I can't believe we waited so long for this", Eddie said while kissing at his belly. "Wanted this since I first laid eyes on you."

"That long?", Steve breathed out, squirming a little as he felt that sinful tongue on his hips.

"Mmm", Eddie hummed against Steve's mound, taking his time, loving that they had time. "That long. I've wanted you to be my mate, bonded and pupped up that whole time."

Steve released a small moan as Eddie spread him and then blew on his cunt, watching it twitch with anticipation. Eddie didn't tease for long, wanting to build up before he sunk his teeth into Steve's neck. Only when Steve was putty in his hands, filled to the brim with his knot, crying out his name, did he finally take the plunge.

When they were catching their breaths, still tied up, and Eddie licking at the new bite, Steve tried to speak between his panting.

"Me...me too..."

"Hm?"

"I've wanted this, since the first night too", Steve finished. "Wanted you forever." He rocked against Eddie. "Wanted you and your pups. The others too now."

Eddie reached down to rub at Steve's clit, making his eyes roll at the sensation. If that's what his baby wanted, his baby would get it. There was enough seed to go around to keep Steve pupped up year round if he desired.

"All you gotta do is ask, sweetness. Fuck", Eddie bucked up into him, making Steve yelp. The thought of him, round with any of their pups was almost too much. For both of them.

It only took a few talks with the whole pack for Steve to stop taking his birth control. Steve was so excited to announce it that he hopped on the first dick that he saw, which was Gareth's. Eddie found them like that in the kitchen, Steve bent over a counter and he took his own turn when he found out what the celebration was for.

Three months later, Steve felt a series of symptoms that had him going to the doctor. And by the next visit it was confirmed: twins. While the doctor was giving him more information, Steve's thoughts were wrapped up in the hope that it was not just Eddie's, but Jeff's too. His body warmed at the memory of having taken both alpha's cocks.

Pictures began to surface of him and his new belly, tracking his progress and of course, speculating on which member of the band was the sire of his new pups. But as the gossip and rumors spread, they made sure it was clear they were reporting on Steve Munson.

End

And that's a wrap! I miiiight do an epilogue on what happens after but for now, that is the end :) thank all yall for reading and leaving such wonderful comments!

Here's that epilogue

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[pruneunfair]

My feelings on villains are destined to die and how it writes a toxic family, what lead them to where they were and if they chose to end the cycle or repeat it.

For one I can see why it's so popular, the plot is unique for its time since it was one of the first villainess centered manhwas and there characters are 3 dimensional. VADTD has its fair share of flaws as all media do but my problem is with the fanbase who seem to get the idea that liking something or someone means you must support it at all times otherwise it means you support the opposing party.

This will be mostly centered around our FL that you've probably seen somewhere before even if you haven't read VADTD, Penelope Eckart

If you think I'm here to dog on Penelope don't worry, I think she's a beautifully made protagonist that is actually morally gray and not a bitch with morally gray excuse. So despite how much the fandom says she's a perfect girlboss, Penelope isn't a good person. She sees everyone as just a video game character in the beginning so she doesn't care if characters like Emily would get hurt or how Eckles felt, that isn't too unreasonable since she did get transmigrated into a video game but there are lines that she crosses, she knows the horrors of abuse very well from her past life which is why she's so attached to the og Penelope, but it's clear she is willing to repeat the cycle for her own needs.

Introducing one of the most controversial characters: Eckles (or Eclis/eclipse)

Eckles as a character was designed to make you feel uncomfortable. He's a slave bought by Penelope at an auction and trust me, she isn't very nice about it. He's always wearing a collar with a spell that causes him to be paralyzed and unable to speak if Penelope touches the Ruby ring given to her by the auctioneers, (Because there's no way that could be abused) and everything about him just seems to miserable, his life depends on Penelopes love and care for him and he's willing to keep the collar just so he can be useful..everything about him seems to be the embodiment of Stockholm syndrome and a lack of identity. The saddest part? He knows why Penelope wants him around and he despises her for it (reasonable) yet he still "loves" her

Word for Word, this is what Penelope said to him when she bought him + a few more she says that are concerning to say the least

"Look at me Eckles. This is the face of your master who paid 100 million gold for you. I didn't pay such an extravagant price for you because I'm rotting in money, not even an insane noble would the equivalent of castle for a slave from a fallen kingdom, what is left for you even if you were able to resist and escape from here? You don't even have a country to run to. I despise those who don't know their place. I saw potential in you and that is why I invested in you, that is all our relationship is. Prove your worth so that I have no regrets about the price I paid for you, otherwise I'll send you back here with no hesitation. Do you understand?"

"A dog should act like a dog Eckles! What use is a son of a bitch who bites his master!?"

"You dare bite your master?"

That is NOT good person behavior, Penelope is desperate to live yes but that was one of her lowest moments. Buying a man, contributes to the buisness of slavery with 100 million gold, straight up threatening him to sell him back to slavery if he doesn't obey, and manipulates him for means of an end. But that's the point. Penelope is a gray character so naturally on top of all the good she can do, she still is capable of repeating the cycle of abuse on another person.

They have a sort of co-dependent relationship later on, Penelope views him as a beast and her way of keeping him on her side is buying him a bunch of gifts and then leaving him for long periods of time, forgetting that all he asked of her was to visit him. Of course Penelope is in no way obligated to do so just because Eckles loves her, and by love, I mean obsession to the point where Eckles starts to commit extreme acts all in the name of his obsession for her. He's no longer a person, he's just Penelopes worshipper who also "betrays" her.

Thats another thing people hate him for, for betraying the woman who bought him and treated him more like an animal than a person. And yeah, bringing Leila back to the mansion was a dick move not to mention betraying his own people but when it came to betraying Penelope.. you can't really owe your slave master loyalty, I saw this more as a consequence of Penelopes actions rather than a "poor pene" moment because im just gonna say it: Penelope had no right to be that upset when the slave she treated as an animal wound up betraying her. There was no right in that situation just two wrongs and yet there's a ton of people who solely blame Eckles for not being grateful that Penelope didn't do anything extremely egregious when she owned him (wtf!?)

Yes Eckles isnt a great person either, as i said he put all of his country to death when he snitched on them so he could stay by Penelopes side but just because Penelope is the protagonist with a tragic backstory, that doesnt mean shes an innocent lamb and while fans will glorify the toxic relationship, the way the narrative portrays it is too uncomfortable to be a romantic path, it's meant an abusive past where Penelope can choose to stay at her worst and that would honestly be depressing if she did get with him, itd be a twisted master-slave relationship where Penelope can do whatever she wants to Eckles and he can't say nor will he want to, and I think she knew to some degree that she wouldnt want to be that monster and what she was doing was inhumane which is probably she stays far away from him since she's beginning to see these people as humans and not code. It's both a mix of desperation for her own life and a desire to not repeat an abusive cycle just with extra steps.

A slave and their master isn't a forbidden romance, it's just Stockholm syndrome covered in glitter.

Now on to the other characters, the love interests/ brothers.

Theres a lot of love for Callisto and I can see why, he's not a cardboard cutout and has a personality that didn't revolve around Penelopes goals. I'll admit I didn't like him at first but he's grown on me

But I have a feeling there's another reason fans adore him outside of his character and goals. He's the only love interest that isn't an abusive one. Unlike Eckles, Callisto is closer in equality to Penelope and he's you know, not her fricking step brother. After all when the other options are lava and toxic chemicals, you would much rather stick your hand in a mysterious substance that could benefit you even if it could also kill you. That's what Callisto was when we met him, he's the one who killed OG Penelope the most in hard mode and when he first speaks to Penelope, he's putting a sword at her throat, even though he's killed Penelope in so many timelines, the timelines where he doesn't are the happiest... which I honestly don't know how to feel about that.

then there's Derrick, and uh yeah, I don't blame the fandom this time, he does suck and he has a sister complex.. Fantastic

Still though for such a hateable character it's done so well. He's not always so in your face about it, Derrick is still a 3d character with a "reason" that explains his stepbrother-stepsister love he has for Penelope, he's afraid of losing her like he lost Ivonne (that just opens so many weird doors though with how they imply it) and even if you take that away he's still a perfect example of abuser. No matter what Penelope did he's consistently blaming her for the negatives of their family, he loves her but he also controls her and makes her feel like shit. It's like another form of Eckles and Penelope which is kind of depressing since it's more portrayal of repeating cycles of abuse. *SPOILERS* He also gets to live normally after that and apparently becomes a loving uncle to Penelope and Callistos daughter which I interpret as the harsh reality that abusers who are family aren't likely to go away especially if they are older and hold more power over you, they can stop it all they want but that wound never got treated.

Reynold is another one I have a weird relationship with, he's not as terrible as Derrick but the shit he put Penelope through is yet another example of generational abuse that he started

Reynold represents the regret an abuser can feel after the harm is already done. The entire family has issues in general and communication is one that's seriously lacking but Reynold indirectly started it and justified it when he found the og Penelope praying that Ivonne would never return and from both sides, you can understand why. Penelope doesn't want to go back on the streets and Reynold is still grieving over his sister and the replacement was just wishing for that little sister to dissappear or die, but no matter the reason, abuse is still abuse. But he was willing to change after hearing her true story, but he continues to reprimand her for the past, not letting go so easily which made him a easy target for Leila to brainwash, as I've said, the damage is already done and while the two can remain civil, I wouldn't be surprised if Penelope never feels comfortable around him again.

EDIT: I thought about it and maybe "never feeling comfortable around him again" might be a little too far, OG Penelope probably wouldn't but I think the current Penelope would be more likely to move on.

And now for the figurative and literal embodiment of the lost/ghost child: Ivonne who represents how we handle grief and lost child syndrome.

Almost nothing is known about Ivonne for a long time, the family has fond memories of her but we never get to see what it was like beyond a single memory of the siblings sneaking out to the festival the night Ivonne went missing. In grief we tend to over fantasize the person we lost, usually as a perfect being who did no wrong. Thats what Leilas control represents, Ivonne is dead, her skin is cold to the touch like a corpse as described by Penelope , the goddess Leila who took over her body represents flaws the deceased may have had or a toxic coping mechanism in general and causes everyone under her control to only think about the best of her.

For Ivonne as a character, she is lost child personified, she's literally lost so it's already right there, a lost/ghost child is the type of child that stands by the toxicity of the family, they blend in and no one really bothers about them, though this is more of a reach then the other two, there arent a whole lot of chapters that mention Ivonne beyond comparing her to Penelope and the chapters where she actually does appear, shes separated from everyone else. Even her own father who spent years searching for her, he still gave up and what pushed Ivonne to become a literal ghost child is when she sees the Duke take Penelope off the streets to be his replacement daughter when his real child was staring right at him. Ivonne ends up in a mirror forever, where all she can do is watch the family from afar.

final main character is Winter, and he was the trickiest to place.

I forgot about Winter half the time since he kind just shows up at random, his introduction is literally happening to be there at the right moment when Penelope is running away from Callisto. So I wasn't very interested in him until the battle against the Leila cult, but even though I wasn't interested in him, I still preferred at the time if he was the love interest instead since he was the least violent of all the guys, he actually wanted Penelope to be happy, and very protective of nor just her but the sorcerer children so it was just green flags all around with the exception of the age gap. (I don't know how to feel about since Winter is 26 and Penelope is physically 18 but mentally she's in her 20s)

My interpretation of him is that he could be the friend/therapist that's outside the family, the one to give a little break from the disaster of a homelife. But a therapist or friend can really only do so much and in rare cases they could start suspecting you as a liar since they are also people who are dealing with their own set of problems. Kind of like how Winter starts to lose Penelopes trust when suspects her to be from the Leila cult.

Conclusion: VADTD is popular for a good reason and it has tons of great commentary on toxic households and that no character is truly innocent, but it doesn't get enough credit in that department since tons of people misinterpreted it as yet another basic reincarnation girl boss story where everything is black and white.

This is part 2 to a series I want to call "my feelings on", I'll read through a manhwa/anything one webtoon and I'll either critique it or come up with my own interpretations of it.

[sugawarassoulmate]

i can't find the original ask for this prompt but y'all wanted more loser!suna soooooo

words: 812 cw: fem!reader, bimbo!reader, oral (m receiving), but really it's fluff, like really cute, minors dni tho or i'll break ur knees 🔫

"you didn't have to pay for dinner, rin," you whine, resting your head on suna's shoulder. the two of you went back to your place after getting food, which he insisted on paying for.

"oh, don't worry about it! i just like spending time with you, it's no big deal."

he’s always saying stuff like that. treating you to a meal or a movie and footing the bill. if you even try to pull your wallet out, suna’s quick to say “i got this one” or “it’s on me this time.”

but it happens every time and you’re starting to feel that you’re not pulling your weight in this relationship. suna wasn’t as outspoken as other men and wouldn’t dare to go further than a few kisses if you don’t speak up first. but maybe that’s just it, he just needs a little push.

“can you at least let me make it up to you?” you ask, hand reaching for suna’s as the two of you cuddle on your couch. again, he insists that you don’t have to do anything. “but i want to, rinnie.”

with his ears turning pink from your kind words, suna relents, eager to hear what you have to say. your soft lips against his catch him off guard for a second but it wasn’t out of the ordinary for you to fluster him with kisses. but your affection travels past his lips and to the sensitive skin on his neck, sucking a mark that would bruise heavily on his pale complexion.

“ahh,” he whines, quickly apologizing for the sudden noise but poor suna wasn't prepared to feel your hands reaching for the button of his pants.

it happens in a haze—one minute you're in his lap and the next you're kneeling in front of him, his pants halfway down his legs and his cock already leaking precum in your hand. "b-baby, you don—"

"i already know what you're gonna say. don't worry about it, rinnie," you assured, giving quick, kitten licks to the tip. "you're always paying for me, i should do something at least."

"wha—oh, fuck," he groans, not expecting the warmth of your mouth to envelop his length so suddenly. suna forgets himself for a moment, completely disregarding his morals just to savor the feeling of you sucking him off.

he could so easily let you play with him—use him like your own personal toy until he's pathetically cumming down your throat.

but after those few seconds of bliss, suna gets his wits about him and has enough brainpower to push you off of him. "baby, wait, stop."

he successfully pushes you away, a line of spit connecting your lips with his cock. "i'm just helping, rin,"

“but you don’t have to feel obligated to help,” suna says, trying to redress himself much to your dismay.

there's a look on your face that suna's not used to seeing—your eyebrows furrowed in a scowl, not the soft pout that comes when suna usually tells you no, which is pretty rare already. "is it me? do you not want me or something?"

suna's taken aback by the question. no one on this earth has desired someone the way that suna does for you. he pulls his pants up before reaching for you and tugging you back in his lap.

"of course i want you, y/n. i mean, shit, i feel so lucky just sitting next to you sometimes," suna said, voice cracking as his mind raced.

"so why won't you let me—"

"i want you for more than just your body," he admits, taking in the confused look on your face. "i care about your interests and what's on your mind. i want to hear about your day and your plans for the weekend. i don't mind if we spend a night cuddling on the couch and fall asleep on each other, y'know?"

you quirk your brow. "i don't understand..."

of course, you don't. sometimes your shriveled can't understand the concept of someone actually wanting to be with just you but suna's willing to keep explaining himself until you get it.

"what i mean is that i want to be your boyfriend, not just a fuck buddy," suna said and it causes your pretty eyes to light up, a smile spreading across your beautiful face.

"boyfriend?" you asked as if you wanted suna to confirm what you heard.

he nods. "i want you to be my girlfriend, okay? get it?"

you kiss him again but this time suna knows your intentions are pure. "yeah, i get it. i want that too, rinnie."

suna still isn't quite sure how a loser like him ended up in this position—with a girl way out of his league that actually wants to be with him. but he doesn't question it when he feels your arms pull him in for a hug.

©sugawarassoulmate 2023 all rights reserved - please do not repost/translate my work on other platforms!

[cielcreations]

Front Seat (Danny Phantom

Characters are aged up to be 18+! Also, no ghosts AU!

I remember past me when I first used Tumblr liked this post and was like "Hey, this is a good idea for a short story."

And now, like 5yrs later, I actually made a short story. Enjoy!

Dash Baxter did not like Danny Fenton. That much was obvious.

He tolerated the annoying bug for the most part because of his sister. Jazz Fenton helped him with work and made it easier for him to somewhat maintain his minimum GPA to stay on the football team. Granted, Dash's definition of "tolerance" was shoving Fenton into lockers or pushing him out of the way. It could be worse. He gives some other nerds swirlies or slam their faces into food, so Fenton should feel somewhat grateful!

One day, when it was snowing and cold, Dash's practice ended early and he needed to get something from his locker. So, after he changed and got dressed, he grabbed his textbooks from his locker and headed out the front doors of the school. As he stepped outside, he saw a none other than Fenton, reading a random book, slouching over as he did.

"What're you doing here, nerd?" Dash asked, not really caring but still curious.

Fenton looked over his shoulder, scoffed and went back to his book.

"Hey! Don't just ignore me!"

"Do you actually care?"

"Just answer, idiot."

The raven groaned, rolled his eyes, and sighed, "Jazz is tutoring some freshmen and I don't have a ride cause parents are busy with ghost work."

"What about that weird goth freak and tech geek?"

"That 'goth freak' and 'tech geek' have names." Fenton hissed, "Sam can't take me home, her parents are weird and don't like my parents and, therein, me, and Tucker is too far away from me. It'd be too out of his way and I don't wanna inconvenience him."

Dash hesitated before walking past him. He noticed Fenton was only wearing a jacket and pants, nothing to help him with the biting cold. Dash wore a scarf, a large winter coat over his long sleeved shirt, his letterman jacket, two pairs of pants, and two pairs of socks. How could Fenton stand this cold? He went to walk away, turned to face the raven, and took another step away. Am I really going to do this?

Dash looked over his shoulder one more time before he groaned dramatically, "Alright, come on."

"What?" Fenton asked.

"Come on, I'll take you home."

"Are you high? No, you don't smoke." The raven shook his head, correcting himself, "Are you drunk?"

"NO!" Dash hissed, groaning, "Listen, if you freeze to death, I am not going to be the last one to have seen you! If Jazz found out I saw you and left you to die in the cold, she'd kill me! And I am not spending my afterlife with you, Fenton!"

"I'm not going to freeze to death, idiot, I'm fine!"

"You barely have anything on!"

"So what?! I'm fine!"

"Nope, nuh uh, come with me, now!"

"Fuck you, I'm not-"

"If you let me drive you home and not make a peep, I'll stop messing with you for a day!"

Fenton's eyes widened before he narrowed, "Seriously? You're willing to do that just to get me to let you drive me home? You got something in your car I should be concerned about?"

"NO! JUST- UUUGH!" Dash pinched his temples, "Listen, recently, during tutoring session, your sister has mentioned how worried she is with you. She said she's afraid you're going to get hypo.... hyper...? The shit when you're too cold!"

"Hypothermia?"

"YES! She's worried 'bout that!" The blonde sighed, "She really cares about you and if she finds out I left you out here when it's freezing, she'd make me pay for it. I get not trusting me, but can you at least do it for her?"

Fenton seemed to hesitate before he sighed. He shut his book and stood up, "Fine. But I get bragging rights and get to say I won a bet if anyone sees and asks."

"Ugh, whatever. Just come on."

The two began walking to the blonde's car. Dash unlocked the doors and got in the driver's seat, Fenton getting in the passenger's seat. He sat, looking out the window, hugging his bag to his check, uncomfortable and awkward. Dash turned the car on, turning the heat up and pressing his seat warmer.

"You want yours on?" Dash asked, pointing to the seat warmer button.

Fenton looked at the button and shook his head, looking out the window again, "No."

Dash shrugged and looked over his shoulder. He reversed out of the parking lot, beginning to drive away. The ride was silent for the most part, awkward, on both sides. They stopped at a red light, silent, the only noise being from outside. The blonde was trying to think of something to say, trying to figure out if he should even say something. Suddenly, Fenton leaned over and turned on the radio.

"Hey, don't-"

"Hey, it's Ember's new song!" Fenton exclaimed, excitedly turning the music up a bit, "Don't ruin it!"

Dash looked at the raven out of the corner of his eye, confused, "You... like Ember?"

"Uh, who doesn't?" Fenton rolled his eyes, "You may think I'm a nerd or whatever, but nerds have taste too!"

Dash snorted a laugh, focusing on the road and beginning to move once the light was green, "Well, how was I suppose to know? We don't exactly talk."

"And who's fault is that?"

The blonde was silent, knowing he was right. The raven nodded his head along to the music, mouthing the lyrics, Dash watching out of the corner of his eye. He was... kind of impressed. The other wasn't as lame as he originally thought. Then again, liking Ember McLain is not necessarily anything to write home about. Like Fenton said, who doesn't like her songs? I guess it's weird coming from him. Dash thought, pulling up to the building with the large neon glowing signs and metal space ship looking thing.

Suddenly, green smoke started coming out from the top of the building.

"Ughhhh..." Fenton pinched his temples.

"Uhhhh, is your place... safe?"

"It is. My parents are too stupid for any of their shit to work." Fenton groaned, grabbing his stuff, "Thanks for the ride."

"Uh, yeah, no problem." Dash stared at the green smoke, "Uh, you sure your place is not on fire or something?"

"Dash, did you forget my parents are the crazy ghost fanatics?" The raven opened the passenger door, waving his hand at the smoke, "This is what they do. It's stupid, crazy, and annoying, but to the few who believe in fairy tales, it makes money."

The blonde snickered, "I guess that's what matters?"

Fenton shrugged, stepping out, "Thanks again." He shut the passenger door and walked to front door of his home.

He opened the door and immediately stepped out of the way, just in time for Mr. and Mrs. Fenton to run out of the building and going to the alley next to their home, holding what looked to be junk. The raven groaned and walked inside, slamming the door behind him. 

Dash felt... weird. Bad, maybe? He can't imagine living with those types of parents.

Dash shook his head, beginning to drive away. He wasn't going to worry about Danny.

Fenton. He wasn't going to worry about Fenton.

***

For the next couple of weeks, the same thing had happened. Dash's practice was cut off early due to weather, he would "forget" his textbooks, and he would find Dan- Fenton sitting at the front, either reading a book, copying some notes, studying for a test, or just on his phone. Dash would offer him a ride and the other would agree. At first, it was reluctant, but over the next few days turned to weeks, he would put up less of a fight, to the point when Dash came out of the building, he would stand up and look at him.

The rides turned from Dash taking Fenton home, to Dash driving to the nearby fast food joint, offering to buy Danny some food. They would hang out, eating in his car, sometimes going inside to do some studying together. Over time, Dash noticed how Danny didn't prepare much for the cold, which made him a bit worried. Danny always said he was fine, but the blonde didn't always believe him.

One day, when he walked out, he shoved a small letterman jacket in Danny's direction, "For you."

"Huh?"

"Listen, you don't have a winter's coat and you're probably freezing your ass off. Just take it. It was from my freshman year, so it's too small. It'll just collect dust in my closet anyways."

Danny blinked and took it. He put the letterman on and hummed, hugging himself a bit, "It's... pretty warm."

"I know, why do you think I wear it all the time." Dash snickered, "Come on, we're going to the movies."

"Movies?" Danny was quick to follow him to the car, "Why?"

"Cause I wanna see that new horror movie that just came out and Paulina, Star, and Kwan are too chicken and I know you will enjoy it!"

"Hell yeah!" The raven exclaimed, "I'll pay for-"

"Nope, on me. I'm inviting you out."

They got in their seats, the raven looking at the blonde, smiling, "You don't have to."

"If I'm taking you, it's only right I pay." Dash began to reverse.

Danny chuckled, "You know, Dash, you're not a bad guy!"

The blonde chuckled, "You're not so bad yourself, Danny."

The raven widened his eyes.

"What?"

"I think that's the first time you've called me by my first name."

Dash blushed a bit and shrugged, "Well, uh, I figured I should."

The ride was silent to the movies, mainly because both we feeling a bit embarrassed and awkward again. Once they got to the movie theater, they hopped out, going to the ticket stand. Dash bought their tickets, a bag of popcorn, and their drinks before they went into the theater room. They sat down and whispered to one another as the ads played, laughing quietly and joking with one another. Once the movie began playing, they shut up and began watching. As it began, Dash thought Danny would get scared, but the other was fine. If anything, he got more excited and loved it. Danny leaned into the blonde, who wrapped his arm around the raven without even thinking.

Once the movie ended, the two stood up, hand in hand, walking out of the theaters, talking excitedly about the movie and how impressed they were with it. They got back to Dash's car and continued laughing, joking, and overall having a nice time as the blonde drove to Danny's home. By the time they got there, the sun had set. Dash walked Danny to the front door, the raven taking out his keys and unlocking the door. He peaked inside, seeing all the lights were off.

"Will you get in trouble?" Dash asked, "Like, do you have a curfew or something?"

"Probably, but where's the fun in that?" Danny snickered, looking at him, "What about you?"

"Meh, my mom's chill."

"Well, good." The raven faced him, smiling, "Thank you, Dash, for the nice time. I-I had a lot of fun."

"Me too. I-I like sending time with you." The blonde responded.

The two stood there for a second, silent. Danny took a step forward and stood on his toes to lean up and kiss Dash's cheek. The blonde grabbed his chin before he could pull away, leaning down and kissing his lips. It was a short kiss, nothing dramatic or otherworldly, but it didn't have to be. They stepped back and smiled at each other.

"Good, I wasn't reading that wrong, then." The raven chuckled.

Dash chuckled awkwardly, "No, you, weren't." He hesitated and stepped back, "So, um, see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow, Dash."

From then on, everything seemed to change.

***

"Party time! Party time!" Paulina and Star cheered, both dressed in cute short party dresses.

Kwan laughed, wearing a nice button up and pants, holding the door opened for everyone, "Dash! Leo! Come on or we're leaving you!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, who's driving?" Dash teased, tossing a football towards him, also in a nice shirt, blazer, and jeans.

Kwan easily caught it with a laugh.

Leo, a new student at Casper High, easily integrated into the popular clique. He was a great football player, a bit of a class clown, smart, funny, and attractive. They easily accepted him both on the team and part of the friend group.

"I can drive you Kwan, if need be!" Leo chuckled, wearing a shirt with joggers, going for more casual than nice.

"Yeah, with what car?"

"Yours still, I'll just steal your keys!" 

The group laughed and got to Dash's car, the blonde unlocking just the driver's side and getting in. He jokingly made them wait before unlocking the car, allowing everyone to pile in the back.

However, Leo opened the passenger door.

"Nah, nah, nah." Dash immediately stopped him, pointing to the back, "Backseat."

Leo laughed but Dash just pointed to the back again. The man stared, "Wait, seriously?"

"We're picking up someone else. You get in the back."

"Wait, why can't they sit in the back?

"Oh, riiiight!" Kwan exclaimed, "Leo, get in the back, you'll see."

"But-"

"Just trust us!" Paulina giggled, "Come on!"

Leo begrudgingly got in the back, thankful Dash's car could at least fit all four of them in the back. The group continued talking and laughing as Dash pulled out of the school parking lot, making his way to wherever they were going. No one told Leo what was going on, so he just waited to see what was going on.

They pulled in front of a large building with a glowing neon sign reading Fenton Works. Leo remembered hearing about the Fentons, how Mr. and Mrs. Fenton were crazy about ghosts and their kids did everything in their power to not be embarrassed by them. He heard their daughter was going to college and their son also went to their school. Danny Fenton, the kid who sat with a weird goth chick and tech geek.

"What're we doing here?" Leo asked.

No one responded, rolling down the windows. Dash blasted the music and honked the horn, Paulina, Kwan, and Star cheering. After a few seconds, Danny Fenton emerged from the home, wearing a shirt with the NASA logo, a letterman jacket, and some skinny jeans. He was clearly holding back laughter as he approached the car, the four cheering.

"DANNY! DANNY! DANNY! DANNY!" Kwan, Paulina, Star, and Dash chanted, the raven blushing, covering his face in embarrassment.

"Shut up!" Danny hissed playfully as he hopped in the front seat, "God, you all are embarrassing."

Dash rolled the windows up and turned the music down as Kwan spoke first, "How you doing man, you ready for the party?!"

"Hell yeah I am!"

The group cheered, but Leo stared at Danny in confusion.

"Oh, is Sam gonna be there? I have to return her mirror!" Star explained.

"She and Tuck are carpooling with Valerie."

"Perfect, I need to give Val her headband back!" Paulina explained.

"Oh, Danny, this is Leo." Dash pointed to the seat behind him, Danny turning to face him, "Newbie. Probably heard it around."

The raven smiled, "Oh, nice to meet you. Sorry about them, you were probably confused."

"It's cool, I'm more confused why you get front seat."

Dash glared out his review mirror, Danny chuckled, and the other three jokingly 'ooooh'ed.

"Oh, you are new." He looked at Kwan, Paulina, and Star, who smiled innocently, "And you three didn't tell. Nice play." Finally, the raven looked at Dash, "Dashy~ Can I have a kiss~?"

Dash blushed and nodded softly, leaning over and kissing his lips.

Leo widened his eyes as the other three cheered. Once they pulled away, the blonde quickly focused on driving, embarrassed.

Danny then looked at Leo, winking, "See, I always get front seat. Perks of being the quarterback's boyfriend!"

Leo blushed in embarrassment, looking away as the car erupted into laughter, the group beginning to joke and talk once again.

[laiosynth]

transfem kuai liang headcanon

hi. as a precursor to this whole post, i'm going to give the forwarning that i am absolutely batshit insane about this. if one could call an avid fan of something 'down the rabbit hole', then i am in the core of the fucking planet of this. i am thinking about her at all hours of the day. i have a several thousand WC braindump doc that i still need to elaborate on. with that said, if you're willing to give a look-see, jump down the rabbit hole with me as i give you the rundown.

i have many, many, many words about her. many of them. but i'll try to summarize my reasoning for this particular headcanon because it's actually much much deeper than the initial vibes.

THE DEEPER REASONING

kuai as a character seems really closed-off and disconnected. especially when we first meet him. he's duty first, no-nonsense. he's quiet. and then we get to know him more, and to know bi-han more, and there's this... sense of unease, somewhat? like bi-han, we can see that he is standing on firm foundations of his ideals. we know what he wants. we know who he is. he stays true to these ideals, even by betraying his brothers to join the side of shang tsung and quan chi. he is a character who knows what he wants and we can predict his actions based on it. on the other hand, in contrast, kuai liang seems almost... unstable, in a sense, and adrift. we only really get to know the fact that he valued his father's teachings. and bi-hans betrayal seems to throw him even more adrift.

and being adrift and unstable on his foundations is a trait i see VERY often in my own experience and in the experience of my transfem friends (and here we hit my biggest point on why i headcanon kuai liang as transfem-- the sheer number of parallels between his story and trans experiences).

when bi-han betrays the lin kuei, and in turn, kuai and smoke, kuai has no issues taking down SEVERAL fighters along with general shao-- and you can sense the rage that fuels it (yet another parallel with trans experience). that feeling of 'i put faith in you, i trusted you,', and in this case, 'i followed you, i am who i am because of you, i changed myself for you, and you repay me with this?'

it's unbelievable pain and anger and betrayal, and though he eventually calms enough that he goes back to his quiet, calculative self, it's earth-shaking. this parallels a lot of the feeling, in the trans experience, of the betrayal you feel when your loved ones, the ones you trusted, you changed yourself for, turn to transphobia and terf rhetoric. turn to the beliefs you know hurt people (earthrealm, or your trans friends) and hurt you, and make you their new target.

i'm sad we don't get much focus on kuai liang after that chapter of the story-- i'd pay good money to get an expansion of his story. we know at the very least that he goes on with smoke to form the shirai ryu, and train the young hanzo hasashi, but that tells us nothing, so i don't have a lot to work with. but that gives a lot of wiggle room when making guesses at his character.

reviewing what we know, i reiterate that parallels make kuai liang's character incredibly readable as trans-coded. and i will say now that i know nothing about him screams 'fem!', but i see his character as transfem because of other things-- once again, parallels. kuai liang, as a character, is very clearly honor-driven. he values, above all, his family. his lost father, his bonds with his brothers. his clan. and on top of that, none of his character reads... as 'man' to me. kuai just doesn't read as someone who identifies with a man to me. by that, i mean that he does not seem... comfortable or confident in his masculinity. and that disconnect, once again, is a DIRECT parallel to trans experiences.

THE FUN STUFF

ok now that i've gotten that out of my system i can tell you about the more fun headcanons i have around her heheh

uses she/he pronouns

smoke gave her a golden scorpion-shaped hair claw and she uses it ALL THE TIME.

she likes to wear eyeliner in everyday life and do fancy eyeliner for battle

he and smoke have bonding time while smoke braids her hair. she very frequently falls asleep during braiding time.

smoke is also her biggest supporter, but hanzo is very frequently fighting for the title.

i will be adding more as i think about it. this is all for today. i hope you enjoyed this post. ok byeeeee

[princedesnuees]

CALL ME MAYBE — gn!reader x jaehyun.

pairing: gn!reader x jaehyun. genre: hurt/comfort, angst, smut. summary: you work as a phone sex operator. naturally, one of your customer wants something a bit specific... warnings: phone sex. words: 1.5k

It is your duty to take care of your customer during the allotted time. This is your job as a phone sex operator, after all. The call time is determined by the amount paid. Some customers just need twenty minutes. Sometimes much more. Maybe all day. Maybe the entire night. You don't mind, you like doing this. What just was for spending time changed into a real full time job. Everybody says you're made for this. And you would be a liar if you say that you're not good at satisfying your phone correspondent.

It's late at night. You've just ended with an old man. The lonely kind, not really interesting, quite sad actually. But you had nice time. At the end, he sounded happy and thanked you before hang up. Mission accomplished.

And now, what?

You don't have time to think. The phone's ringing.

You pick up, comfortably seated in your chair. Usually, it's you who starts the conversation. And you were willing to do so, until a voice rises from the receiver.

"Hi."

As usual, it's a man. You smile against the phone. What a soft, deep voice you hear.

"Hey baby… How you doing?"

"Not really good."

"Oh… Would you like speak about it?"

Other usual part of your job: the therapist side. You are used to listening to your customers complaining about their life, what's going on, what weighs on them. And it's a side of this job you truly like. Get to know someone. Their past, their present. What they went through. Their dreams, their fears. You can imagine every details just by closing your eyes. And in all these stories, all you have to do is listen and comfort them in a very special way.

"My wife left me."

"Baby. I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. I was never there for her."

"How do you feel?"

"In a shitty way."

"Need me to reassure you a little…?"

"Yeah. That's why I phoned you. They say… You're a good listener."

"And I will. Do you mind telling me your name?"

"Call me Jay."

"Jay… What a sweet name."

"I'll pay for one hour. Maybe more."

"Alright, Jay. I'm all yours. What do you need tonight?"

"Someone who can… help me to make the pain go."

"You feel really, really sad about what happened, don't you…"

"Yeah."

You listen closely, and then hear like a sob. Of course, it must be awfully difficult.

"You were together since a long time?"

"Almost five years. I've been… dumb. Y'know. Too much taken by my career. Money, fame, all that stuff. But now… It just doesn't have sense anymore. I realized it too late."

Sadness is blending to his voice.

"Baby… Everything will be okay. Don't blame yourself. You did your best." You whisper on a reassuring tone.

"I even wonder if she cheated on me. No. I know she did."

"Don't think about it. Think about yourself and your well-being. I'm here for you baby. Just ask me something that could bring you joy. Anything I can do."

"It's been a couple of weeks I didn't cum, you know. I can't anymore. That makes me sad when I try with someone else, and I don't like to do it alone. Watching porn doesn't do anything to me. I even feel disgusted."

"Okay, sweetheart. Do you want me to talk, to help you cum?"

"… Yeah. I want."

"Are you sitting comfortably?"

"I'm on the ground of my kitchen."

Oh. That's unusual.

"Everything's okay, baby?…" You want to be sure.

"Yeah. I was… cooking when I started to feel bad. Really bad. My wife used to prepare diner before I got home. It reminded me her, while she was cooking. That's stupid, I know."

"Not, it's not. Jay, don't think your feeling are stupids. They are important, and so you are."

"Maybe."

"Would you like to stay here?"

"Yeah. Don't want to go upstairs. It's okay. The tiles are warm now."

And then, you hear a soft laugh. Really, really soft. Almost inaudible. But that makes you smile.

"Fine, Jay. Let's start. Remember, this is your moment. You can ask me whatever you want or need."

"Okay."

"Relax yourself, baby… I'm here. I'm with you. Imagine me, standing by your side. You're not alone. I can hug you if you want. Do you?"

"Yeah."

"I'm here, my arms around your waist… You can put your head on my shoulder, close your eyes…" At this moment, your voice was akin to that of a mother soothing her child. A gentle, nurturing voice, one in which everyone would like to take refuge. This is the way you do. Comforting your visitor the time they come to you. "There… How do you feel, baby?"

A long silence responds. But you're not worried. Some people need this time. Time that life didn't grant them. And you were right. A few seconds later, his voice arises.

"I… feel good…"

"Can you feel my hand on your hips, right now? Can you… feel… my warmth enveloping you?"

"Hmm…"

You listen, carefully. Each sound is an important hint of your customer's mood.

"Jay… I'm sure… you have… a wonderful body… Don't you? Because I can sense it just by touching you."

"Touch me more."

"Where do you want me to touch, baby?"

"Go under my shirt."

"Alright. I'm here, right now… Do you feel it? My hand on your body… It's warm, Jay…"

"Yeah… Warm."

"Can I go on your thighs? I promise, I'm not heavy… And… this will be… more pleasant."

"Go on."

"Aah… It's been… a while since… I went over a man like you…"

"Hmm…"

You hear him moaning, proof that he begins to feel really relaxed. Perfect.

"You know… Since I am all yours… Would you like to… try something with me?"

"Yeah."

"Can we put off this belt? Let me do it for you… There…"

His breath is heavier. You don't have intention to stop.

"Hey, Jay… Don't you feel… too tight…?"

"I… I'm… I try to… caressing… myself…"

"That's good… Do it at your pace, baby, okay?… What are you thinking about…?"

"You. Your pelvis… against mine…"

"Hmm… This is exactly… what I do… Can you feel me… rubbing gently on you…?"

"Yeah. I… fucking feel it."

Your smile is wider. Maybe you've started to caress yourself, too.

"Jay… Is that a big, generous and warm cock I can feel beneath these pants…?"

"Fuck…"

"Yeah, that is. Oh my god… It's harder and harder… Hmm…"

"Touch it."

"It's been a while you didn't use your pretty cock, Jay… But don't worry because… Tonight… This will change. And I can assure you… That you're well-endowed. To be honest, I've rarely seen a beautiful cock like yours during a while."

"Shit, this is… Aaah… Take it in your hand."

"And I'm doing, baby. There… Just under your underwear… There it is… Hello, beautiful one…"

You can imagine the size wobbling in your little hand.

"Look, I can't even take it in one hand… And you're not this hard yet… Jesus…"

"P-put your goddamn…"

"Hmm ? My…"

"You're goddamn lips."

"Baby… You want me to suck your big dick?"

"Fucking do it."

"There I am… My lips all over your tip… Like this… Hmm… Your… delicious… huge… cock…"

He's moaning louder each second. This is astonishing how his voice can be this deep. You've never heard this kind of tone before, this is arousing you in your chair. Thighs closed, you're trembling like a leaf.

"Jay… I'm gonna… swallow it… entirely… Is that okay for you, baby?…"

"Don't ask: go for it. Eat it. Make it disappear inside your little mouth."

"I'm coming, baby. Let yourself go, I'm going to devour your lovely cock. My tongue wrapped around your pretty veins… Do you see me? Going up and down… Tongue lapping your dick, like a thirsty bitch… Hmm… God, you have such a wondrous taste…"

There you are. Your slow, erotic tone who made fall so many men before. It's not difficult to imagine your client masturbating himself like a damn one. You almost can hear him doing so. His wonderful cock you are sucking until the last drop.

"Fuck… Fuuuuu…. I… Aaaaah… This is… so… fucking good… Haaan…"

"Yeah baby? Do you want me to go faster? Let me do…"

"I… I gonna…"

"Your little whore is going to swallow everything until your balls are totally empty, you know that, Jay…?"

"H-… Oh my…! Hmmm… AAAAH !"

And there are the fireworks. Your man's voice explodes with magnificence. You let him enjoy this moment. His moment. A slight smile on your lips covered by his generous cum. You clean up the little mess by one movement of your tongue.

"Is this good, baby…?"

"Hell… Yeah… I… 've just… stained myself."

"You must be lovely. I'd love to see you, right now…"

"Fucking Christ. I had so much in my balls."

"Do you feel better, now?"

"Fuck yes. Much better."

"Can I lick your cum?"

"Come here, honey."

Oh yeah. You were going to find him soon as expected.

[antianakin]

There is exactly one criticism that I agree with my, very anti-Jedi, cousin on and that's the Jedi were TERRIBLE Generals. Generals may TRY to make sure their men mostly come back. But useless sacrifices are not only acceptable, but expected, the men are mostly expandable in war. The Jedi did not consider sacrifices like that acceptable or expected. Sure it did happen. It was WAR. But they tried their best to make sure it DIDN'T. The Jedi were terrible Generals. But they were the teachers and Leaders the CLONES NEEDED.

I'm not sure I'd ENTIRELY agree with that. I think I'd be willing to agree that the Jedi were perhaps less CONVENTIONAL Generals, and they definitely do seem to at least TRY to place the lives of their men above just tossing them away for an easy victory, but you can just as easily claim that keeping the men alive to keep fighting is a good strategy in and of itself.

The biggest piece of evidence I'd point to that the Jedi were actually perfectly good Generals is the Citadel arc and Tarkin's criticisms. The one real criticism he makes of the Jedi as military leaders is that they're occasionally too soft and will abandon a mission if it looks impossible to win without near total casualties (on either side). But he's generally fairly positive about the Jedi and if they were truly awful at their jobs, I don't think TARKIN of all people would hold back on saying so, even to the Jedi's faces.

And we DO see the Jedi willing to make sacrifices and accepting that this is a necessary part of war. The Citadel arc is, again, a perfectly good example of this. Obi-Wan and Anakin go in with like 3-4 men each I think and they come back with a grand total of 3 (Rex, Cody, and Fives). A LOT of clones die on this mission that they all KNEW was basically a suicide mission because the Jedi themselves decided that getting the information about the hyperspace lanes was vital enough to the war that it was worth losing multiple lives over (including their own).

So it's not that the Jedi don't understand that sacrifices are necessary in war or even that they avoid it entirely, they just avoid what they see as UNNECESSARY sacrifice for what might amount to a fairly minor victory. Keeping more of their men alive might, in the long run, be a better strategic choice than losing all of them on one campaign, especially if it's over like one uninhabited moon or something like that. There's nothing to say that the losses the Jedi deem acceptable are things that would've changed the entire tide of the war had they chosen to push forward instead.

The other good evidence that the Jedi acting this way would've been the WORSE choice is the Umbara arc. We are told and then see that Krell IS the kind of General who is willing to lose a lot of clones in order to gain victories in battle, and the clones do recognize that he has a lot of victories under his belt. But never once do they discuss whether those victories really MEANT anything or had a large impact on the war effort. It certainly never seems that the Republic is majorly pushing back the Separatists because of Krell's victories, nobody ever mentions that Krell gained them a major advantage with those victories or took out anyone of any consequence on the Separatist side with his strategies. And by the time he gets to Umbara, he's explicitly using this strategy to WEAKEN the Republic side and cause a loss. Several of his strategies WOULD'VE meant the Republic lost on Umbara and it's only the clones utilizing different strategies that put fewer of them at risk that they actually end up continuing to HAVE victories at all.

I'll also point out that the Jedi continuously getting their men killed en masse would've bankrupted the Republic a LOT earlier because they'd have to be paying for more clones a LOT more often than they did in canon and I can't imagine anyone would've considered that a particularly sound strategy and at some point I'm sure the Senate would've felt obligated to put a stop to it anyway and insisted on strategies that kept more clones alive for longer. So I'm not sure it's fair to claim the Jedi were utilizing BAD strategy by not just exclusively using tactics that meant most of their men were killed for every single victory.

So the ONLY criticism we EVER see of the Jedi's ability as military leaders is Tarkin claiming they're "too soft" and Tarkin is the kind of person who would likely say that until the Jedi started carpet bombing entire Separatist planets. Would it give them a victory? Yeah, sure, maybe, but that's the exact same strategy the Separatists are using and look how well that works out for THEM. Everything else we ever see seems to showcase that the Jedi are in fact perfectly good Generals, not just in that they're kind to the clones and are unwilling to carpet bomb Separatist planets, but also because they're just... good at this. They CAN be strategic, they CAN run wars if they want to. And I think that's the whole point of the Jedi in some ways is that yes, they CAN make war when they need to, they just actively choose NOT TO every time they can. THIS is why Qui-Gon tells Padme that he and Obi-Wan are there to protect her but that they can't win this war for her and they end up going off to fight off a Sith while Padme has to actually win the war with her own people and the Gungans instead. The Jedi don't WANT to be in the position of doing nothing but fighting, but they're absolutely capable of this kind of work.

That's the tragedy of the war in some ways, the Jedi ARE good at this no matter how much they wish they weren't sometimes. But being good at it means they can actually protect the Republic, their own men, and even the Separatist civilians better, so they're not going to just sit there and do things that will screw over a bunch of people. Yes, they're going to fight the war in such a way that they reduce casualties as much as possible, but reducing casualties also requires doing enough to not LOSE the damn war, too. It's a delicate balance they're trying to hold on to and I'd argue they manage it better than anybody else would've ever done in their position.

[nix-moon]

✮⋆˙✮ V𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔫'𝔰 𝔳𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔯𝔢𝔡𝔢𝔪𝔭𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔞𝔯𝔠𝔥 ✮⋆˙✮

(𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕨𝕙𝕪 𝕀 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕚𝕥 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙)

SEASON 6 SPOILERS AHEAD ⚠️📢🚨

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I'll start by saying that this is my personal analysis based on nothing more than my own experience watching "The Dragon Prince". Anyway, long text ahead!

•°•°•°•°• ☆ °•°•°•°•°• ☆ °•°•°•°•°•

I really like how Viren's story was built throughout The Dragon Prince/Mystery of Aaravos. I enjoy villain narratives that bring some elements which, in my opinion, give the character development a little bit more of a "real humanity" you know?

Like for example, a character that makes mistakes, regrets them, and then go and do something totally apposed to their beliefs, take hypocritical actions, such as humans do all the time! I love when the idea of a perfect character falls apart, showing contradiction.

I think TDP brings that to the table all the time buuut talking about Viren I think it makes total sense that he used dark magic again after giving it up on previous seasons, exactly because of contradiction in actions, because things change and so does the circumstances and his whole beliefs/regrets.

Another thing, and this might be totally MY gone-too-far analysis, I feel like there's a lot of attention to detail and symbolism in Viren's relation with dark magic, which is basically, you know, the main "element" that makes him a villain somehow. Whether this was on purpose or not, I'd like to point out some of my observations towards this:

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆ Dark Magic and Viren's ascension and fall ᯓ★

Viren's plot started and ended with dark magic. As his "villain era" started when he used it to cure Soren, as shown on season 6, he also died from its use. TWICE if you think about it, because the turning of events in previous seasons were mostly led, in my opinion, by the fact that Viren, being someone very ambitious (thinking that he would to anything to get what he wants, either the cure of his son or power) found in dark magic the instrument he needed to materialize his desires.

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃⋆ Someone who was served, someone who claims to be a server ᯓ★

Before dying, king Harrow "humbled" Viren by pointing out his place as a servent of Katolis, which wasn't taken so seriously by the High Mage at that time. In my opinion, we was already taken by the idea of getting almost everything he wanted from dark magic, or, being served, since magic creatures were literally serving to his purposes. As his journey continues in the "after-resurrection" times and he starts to be more reflexive, he comes to a point where he, himself, goes back to the place he sort of turned his back to (Katolis) claiming not mercy, not forgiveness, but that he is a servent of that kingdom. ~CHILLS~. This is one of my favorite moments by far! It shows to me a true redemption, where the character isn't looking to a scenario of "feeling better" about the things he did and regretted, he is actually assuming the weight of his mistakes and willing to pay the price.

I understand that people wanted some sort of reconciliation between him and Soren, or some kind of gathering with Claudia, but I like the way things went in the story by far. I'm glad Soren didn't get that letter, because to me it brought even more real-life aspects to the narrative: where you may not be ready to say some things and back up, where there's angst, where forgiveness is so hard to achieve when someone you love takes a path that hurts you so bad! Soren goes to see Viren on the dungeons, and then doesn't want it anymore, he is fighting contradictions of feelings he doesn't even know how to name - is there something more human than that? Being confused and wanting to do AND not do something at the same time?

𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃 ⋆ The heart: corruption and salvation ᯓ★

The last topic leads me to this one: the heart. During the series, we constantly see the narrative of the "corruption by dark magic", the "it will consume you inside", and at some point the heart is used as the main corrupted "element", let's say, which is already symbolic enough for me to think about. BUT WAIT!

Not only Viren was corrupted by dark magic, which means his heart was taken, but it was his heart that "saved" Katolis. That old heart, broken by the idea of losing his child, broken by his wife reaction to his use of dark magic, and then consumed by it, stopped by it more than once, who was used in a spell made not anymore by the High Mage Viren, but by the humbled servent of the kingdom.

And more: Soren wanted him to take his heart. In his place, Viren decided to take his own, even though he had to use dark magic again, even if he would die doing it.

This is why it makes sense to me he did it again. This time, he wasn't doing it for him, he was doing it for his son, like he did before. In the beginning, he used dark magic to save his son, and in his last moments, he did it for his son once again, and the way this was so beautifully built trough the narrative makes me actually feel butterflies in my stomach and scream cry throw up.

I love this FUCKING show so much.

∘₊✧────────────────────────✧₊∘

That was my super-freaky-super-long analysis of a fictional character. If you read all of this... Go get a life. JK, I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think! ᯓ★

[my-mt-heart]

Thoughts on TBOC 205

Aside from the premiere, this was the easiest episode for me to watch, but at the same time, the tone and the characterization feel...off. As usual, my thoughts are based on a one-time pirated watch. Also as usual, Melissa McBride crushes her performance. If only she had been given stronger material...

I mentioned in my 204 "review" that Daryl's and Carol's dynamic felt like that of a divorced couple and I'm still feeling that here. Daryl is clearly offended by the hypothetical idea of Carol telling Ash that he was her brother and insists that he be with Carol when she talks to him. Carol is clearly uncomfortable when a dancer gets too close to Daryl at the nightclub (side note: Carol's reaction to the nightclub has a lot of storytelling potential that Zabel instead uses to draw the male gaze. Unsurprising, but still disheartening). What does Caryl's "divorced" energy mean exactly? Nothing if Zabel doesn't pay it off and unfortunately I don't think he ever intends to. We need a new showrunner for that.

Daryl's surprised reaction to Sophia is just ridiculous to me. He's always been incredibly in tune with Carol's feelings—that's what makes them soulmates—and he just saw her struggling in front of a barn in the last episode. He really can't put the pieces together? And why is Daryl acting so far removed? As if Sophia isn't his trauma too? I'll talk about this more for 206, but I strongly dislike how Zabel tries build up to Daryl finally comforting her the way he should have immediately, and would have if he was in character. It's completely unnecessary and it robs the characters/audience of true emotional growth.

Carol notices a man on a bike that reminds her of the Daryl she watched ride away from the CW, like she's still searching for that Daryl, and it breaks my heart. She starts seeing Sophia too, but again, Daryl can't be there for her because he's preoccupied with thoughts of a child he's known for two months. Naturally Carol tries to be there for him, and at first he tells her he doesn't want to talk about it. Since when does Daryl not feel safe being vulnerable with Carol? Why is he so closed off? I can't wrap my head around it.

In typical Zabel fashion, Laurent is used as a mouthpiece to shove Isabelle's "love" for Daryl down the audience's throats despite the fact that Clemence never played it that way once. I really need the stooges and the supporting characters to stop projecting onto Daryl. They are all just wrong.

Carol listens to Daryl’s recording he made in S1 and I’m not sure what the point of it is since he already told her last episode that he was trying to get back to her. You know what would’ve been more interesting? If the recording revealed something new that the audience hasn’t heard yet and surprised Carol as well, like Daryl addressing her specifically, telling her how much he loved her.

When shots of the car scene cropped up in teasers, it was heavily speculated that Ash would die. I'm glad the scene subverted my expectations and actually tapped into some humor, but the whole thing also highlights Zabel's sloppy writing. How did this man survive the ZA this long if he can't even shut a door without hurting himself? And why, once he's fully conscious again, does he not comment on Daryl's and Carol's relationship? If Carol was willing to manipulate him just to find this other guy, what does that say about who Daryl is to Carol? Is Ash not suspicious or at the very least curious? It's another example of how TPTP try so hard to pull attention away from Caryl to the point where it's extremely frustrating and inorganic.

Another way tptb resist the undeniable chemistry between Caryl is by separating them. Daryl gets to do the cool action sequence while Carol is left behind to get yelled at by a man. Seeing the toxic dude bros rip Carol apart for lying to Ash has been difficult, and to be honest, it's the main reason why I could've done without that storyline. But I don't blame Carol for that. Zabel is the one who thinks manipulation is every woman's trademark, and as if that's not misogynistic enough, he takes every opportunity to punish Carol for it.

If there are any comparisons to be made between this season and S11 of the flagship show, they're in the penultimate and the finale episodes. Just like in S11, Carol is kept away from the main mission to essentially do busy work. I'm all for highlighting an emotional arc over mindless action, but not when it creates a power imbalance between two characters and two actors who are supposed to be leading this show together. It solidifies for me that Norman, Zabel, Nicotero, and Gimple are insecure about the show’s positioning. They need it to be Daryl's show while Carol is just a sidekick. They're all marking their territory for their own reasons. Melissa deserves so much better from Norman and so much better than the other three.

One more episode to go and thank fuck for that.

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

Gosh I HATE X.

Rant below about small artists and not getting much of a chance to actually grow in social media.

Not only do they not tell me what the problem is when the report something so I can't fix it but I get on or try to get on and apparently I can't? My account was deleted? It won't log me in on my art one??? I'm annoyed by it.. I can only be glad I have a following here on Tumblr and Tumblr helps push certain things out compared to X.

I'm honestly mad because I was using X as another way to reach out to people who want commissions but also for fandom interactions. I'm also mad because like I've said for like the hundredth time, you can literally find people fcking on X and their videos and things get to stay up but I draw FanArt and write stories and MINE gets taken down??? Smh especially as someone doing commissions because my mom is in the hospital rn and I genuinely need the funds for a while..

I'm working on one commission right now. I'll take three right now for cheap prices because I understand people don't find value in art all the time but I'll have to bring prices up or either continuously work for the cheaper ones and save up.

Actually let me ask this now.

Some this picture contains four characters, a window with extra background, objects and background, and various expressions and poses. The time on it hit 13 hours on ibis. In my mind of course I want money to help my situations.

With this picture as an example I count people and characters as $10 each, little accessories and such are $1 each and there's at least 12 in here up front from the beer cans to the dresser. The picture took 13 hours so $40 × 13 equals $520. It took me at least a week to get this piece done. Considering the hospital issues, the at home issues, pet situations, food issues, and little transportation I have when I need something important done I think for pieces like this the price is fair.

Idk, people who commission others can you tell me what you think? I'm down to do cheap prices too it just depends of what's being asked like the current commission I'm doing which is this one:

Is $30 dollars for the commissioner considering they just want the lineart which I'm more than happy to do. If anyone knows any discord groups or websites that give artist commissions please let me know. I just can't believe X rn... Also matter of fact this was the wip I posted before my account was taken down... Doesn't like like anything against Twitter guidelines to me but fck us small artists that NEED exposure I guess.

How I'm pricing after finishing this commission and two others perhaps because I literally can't afford to not price it like I'm thinking of doing.

So:

$10 dollars per person/character

$1 for each background object/accessories - cups, glasses, trash cans, ash trays, etc etc

And after all that is set I'll multiply those numbers by the amount of hours I finish which is where the majority of the money goes and after that's it, I get paid and you get your piece. (Of course check ins are allowed and changes as long as changes art completely different from their original idea. I'm always okay drawing at least three sketches for customers to pick from if they don't like the first sketch.)

I've made a post already on my current visit at the hospital for my mom. She majorly deals with everything in the home so her being sick will mean we'll need extra funds. I don't work right now because I myself got sick last year with GBS and I'm still healing, not just that but there's only one car for the household which is my mom's so with everything happening I couldn't possibly get a job now. My grandma has dementia and there's three other people in the house though two of them hardly do much to keep bills paid. It's just a lot and really anything would help us right now. So to any commissioners if you are commissioning me whether it's little or big I very much appreciate you with all my heart.

And even if you can't commission reblogging and liking is just fine as well since it helps boost posts.

[20dollarlolita]

silly question but I wouldn't know who else to ask: Does having too much lace and poofiness ever interact badly with your wheelchair? I know most chairs have a shield between the wheel and the seat but it seems like the overflow could get damaged or stuck and this is something I'd like to consider before I start buying things

Oh, it's absolutely a thing I have to deal with. Most of the time, I'll drape my skirt over my side guards for the sake of taking a picture, and then tuck it back in before I go somewhere.

So pictures like this, I'm definitely going to protect the dress again before we move anywhere.

This specific wheelchair has low profile side guards, because I get my wheelchairs off ebay and that's what the person I got it from had. If I ever order a new chair for me, I'd probably want to get taller guards with a fender on the top. With the kind of clothes that I wear, I'd be willing to pay some extra to get some additional protection. (That said, I'm hopefully not going to ever buy myself a brand new chair since this one's great, already been around for over a decade, and works just fine for me. One of my favorite things about lolita fashion is how much we respect and reuse older things, and that's something that is also part of my life in other ways. We still have hopes of me being able to recover and get back into walking again so I don't want to spend a ton of money on something when I have a thing that's working fine.)

Most arm rests do have some form of protection between the wheel and the clothing, so those are an option as well. I've found that I personally don't like having arm rests, but you can have both clothing protection and arm rests.

The normal way that I tend to have my stuff tucked is to push as much as I want under my legs, and then to shove the extra fullness behind my back. This lets the skirt still look good but also stay out of the way.

Also you can see how I extended my side guards with some fabric-covered timtex that velcros into the chair. Those are actually the exact same guards as I have on the new machine, but you can see how they look a lot shorter. This is because the wheels on this chair are at a different height relative to the frame, versus my current chair. There are things that I could have done to adjust the side guards, like moving them forward. However, by the time that I replaced that wheelchair, the frame was just too narrow for me, so I could move those side guards wherever I wanted and would still be touching the wheels.

So yeah, there's definitely concerns about wearing very voluminous skirts and using a wheelchair at the same time. I try to keep my chair width pretty tight, because I pretty much exclusively self-propel and I like the access to the wheels. I know that a lot of guides for buying wheelchairs say to get a few extra inches of width beyond your physical body measurement, and that would probably make things easier in terms of clothes. I think that the two-post flip-back arm rests on the first chair I used (which is this one and it's pretty good in my experiance) actually protected my clothes a bit better than my current side guards. However, all of the things that made it better for lolita fashion made me like it best as a main means for propelling myself around the world. Extra space and arm rests are really good when other people push you, so that's a thing to consider. At the end of the day, I just got a chair that let me be as independent as I could, and then figured out how to do the lolita part in post.

Little rant time: One of the things that drives me crazy is when people who aren't disable the way I'm disabled try to make lolita rules for people who are disabled like I'm disabled. Usually it's people who do mean well, making statements like, "I think that EGL coords only look good with heeled shoes," and then add things like, "Unless you're disabled and can't wear heels." The person who's saying that thinks that they're being more accepting of disability in the fashion, but what they're actually doing is making a separate set of rules for the disabled to follow. However, people who are disabled are actually pretty aware of what our limitations and abilities are, and we're usually pretty used to problem solving when it comes to these things. I can use a combination of knowing where and what I'm doing and how I'm feeling on any given day to pick footwear that is both safe and appropriate for my given setting. I don't really need a stranger on Rufflechat to try to make separate rules for me without knowing that. Quick tip to people wanting to be accepting of disability in lolita: find disabled lolitas and listen to them. <NOTE: that heels comment is an example opinion and is not at all commonly accepted lolita opinions>

[justatalkingface]

Everything Changed When The War Arc Attacked:

Or, why do I hate the War Arc so fucking much?

At this point, eh, why not? Writing every day is supposed to be good for improving as a writer.

ECWTWAA is a simple, quippy line that holds all of my festering loathing for watching MHA gleefully hurl itself off a cliff once the War Arc happened, and, much like someone jumping off a cliff like an utter moron (or the Air Nomads after the Fire Nation attacked), it has never truly recovered.

*sigh*

In retrospect, MHA had been going downhill for a long time before that point, and a lot of it was something I noticed unconsciously, but didn't quite rise to me really paying conscious attention to it, beyond a few notable points (*cough*, Bakugou, *cough* FuCkiNg NIGHTEYE), but as my brain was somewhat in the off position as I read, I was still enjoying the ride, even as it bumped; the enjoyment was as much, if not more, that I used to enjoy it more than the actual content, but there was enjoyment.

If MHA before The War Arc was a somewhat imperfect roller coaster ride, the only way I can describe the War Arc is if the roller coaster ride abruptly ended in the side of a cliff, only somehow dragged out for months of slow paced agony. I watched, in vaguely real time, as Hori systematically trashed the last foundations of his story, the swan song of one of the best, most interesting characters in the series, toss aside the sudden yet exciting development of it's main villain, and escalate to a higher gear than ever before the constant work to protect some of the most vile characters, including said mass murdering villain, from even the slightest criticism by sacrificing everyone around them, as well as the very integrity of the story, to the alter of, 'They're not that bad, honest! Don't hurt their little feelings, you bully!'

And, I watched him finally finish the lobotomy on his main character, permanently ripping away what remained of his original personality and intelligence, leaving an empty puppet, a Deku, with the singular purpose of driving the story faster, and faster, and faster towards that thing that Hori seems to crave above everything else now: The End.

Freedom, freedom from the strangling chains of a merciless Jump schedule, of a plot long grown too complex for him to manage, or for him to even want to try, and from the burden of writing characters and stories he so clearly seems to despise, for some reason. And if they only way he feels he can get it is by burning everything he's done down to the ground, well, Hori's clearly more than willing.

In all honesty it became obvious that, in all of MHA, he only actually liked six things: Endeavour, Bakugou, body horror, dramatic, flashy fight scenes with flashy super powers, attractive women in minimal clothing and vaguely fetish-y torture scenes on attractive women in minimal clothing.

These things, from that point on, are the only things he has spent real, actual time on, developing, giving focus to. Everything else, everything else, is rushed, pushed constantly forward by Deku, the puppet, as he runs from plot point to plot point as fast as he can, never allowed a moment to rest, to reflect, to really think at all, all in the name of progression as empty as he has become.

In all honesty, it was a needed, if unwanted, shock to help me realize the truth, but at what cost? At what cost is this clarity? The joy is gone now; once I dropped my unconscious acceptance of the narrative, everything I had been ignoring came to me a rush of horrified realization, even the most mild of flaws became glaring, and now reading the early chapters that got me into this story in the first place is just... hollow now, like I'm watching my old self enjoy them, rather than enjoying them myself, and I can't help but be both jealous and vaguely contemptuous at the innocent pleasure that person had.

I'll admit, I'm being more dramatic than I'd like to be, but... I've said this before, I'd been reading MHA for years before this point. Years of enjoyment, interest, and focus, and it's all ash to me now. I'm somewhat bitter about it.