#this this mood is killing my everyday lifestyle

[unbeleevable]

[lalunanymph]

୨୧ zayne decides to take matters into his own hands when he notices you've been neglecting your health lately

✧･ﾟboyfriend!zayne, fem!reader, established relationship, mentions of food, reader neglects her health, reader calls zayne 'sir' once, spanking, soft dom!zayne -> lifestyle dom!zayne, light Dom/sub elements, swearing, unprotected s[e]x, petnames (my aurora, my darling), thigh humping, size kink

✧･ﾟthought about lifestyle doms from an anon's ask and suddenly this idea came to me about zayne doubling down on making sure you're taking care of your health ugh i need this man biblically

The life of a Hunter is anything but easy, and Zayne knows that well.

However, he can't help the feelings that surface every time he sees you coming back home, tired and even more worn down than when you had given him a goodbye kiss this morning.

And this isn't the first time, either.

He notices—he always does. It's in his very nature to be trained to catch even the slightest deviation of the norm; a blip in your composure, your routine.

Nowadays, you were sleeping for 4 hours max, pushing your body everyday at work until bruises litter your limbs; skipping meals to hand in Jenna's reports before the stipulated deadline, barely finishing up your 500ml water bottle he so diligently helps to fill up every morning...

... and all of it piles onto the guilt he feels when he realizes how little he can do to take care of you.

It festers and festers and festers till he snaps the very second you come back home, exhausted and puckering your lips for his usual welcome back kiss.

"No."

It breaks his heart—truly, it does—to see the hurt shining in your eyes.

Why? You struggle to understand why he's being so cold all of a sudden. From warm snuggles to an icy cold glare—Zayne's mood shift was scaring you. 

Instead of answering, he goes into the kitchen and reappears a second later, holding a cup of water.

"Drink this all up and then I'll kiss you." 

His tone is deadpan, sharp green eyes never losing their sternness. 

To add insult to the injury, he scoffs, "Your breath probably smells after a whole day of not drinking water. The bacteria on your tongue alone could kill off a mouse." 

You gape, affronted. "Hey! Don’t be mean—" 

"Drink. Up." He leaves no room for you to argue; to huff your disbelief. Deciding to not be too difficult, especially when you've already had a hard day at work, you gulp down the water dutifully; a little too quickly until you choke and he pats your back. 

Once your coughing fit subsides, he tilts your head up, and like the first touch of cool morning dew on skin, his lips meet yours.

"More," you mumble, nails sinking into his soft dark hair, tugging slightly on his roots to voice your need.

Something about your sweet primary care physician boyfriend who's always yielding and gentle—restraining you from indulging in him until you did, as he said—made you throb all over. 

Zayne's minty cool breath fans across your face, his voice smooth as dark chocolate when he whispers, "You need to eat first. I know you haven't had a full meal today." 

Rubbing your nose against his, you whine. "If I do eat, can you kiss me more?" 

In answer, Zayne wraps his arms tightly around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. "Of course," he mumbles into your skin. "I'll give you so many kisses till you're sick of them."

Never, you thought. You would never get over the feeling of his lips on yours. Or the rough rasp of his palm on your thigh, gently kneading the flesh as you quickly ate the meal he cooked. 

If you thought his spur of tough love would end after tonight, you were sorely mistaken.

Kisses held hostage turn into refusals of even hugging you until you promise to finish your lunch at work. 

You feel Tara's stare burning holes into your side profile, brows crinkled as she looks past her desktop at your antics. 

Today, your phone leans against your monitor, and you were taking huge bites of the noodle dish Zayne prepared the night before.

"Filming a mukbang?" Tara inquires innocently. 

You shake your head, expression sour. "No," you quickly swallow your bite of food, and fix her with a look that speaks volumes. "Zayne." 

"Ah." 

Tara nods. "Dating a doctor isn't easy. I bet he tells you to pay attention to your health all the time, huh? But, you know what they say—an apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least, he'll stay off your case if you take care of yourself." 

Only she could make it sound so easy.

When you were called into the city to investigate a strange flux pattern, you had forgotten to let Zayne know you weren't coming home in time for dinner. 

How were you to know that the very second you stepped foot at home, he was already waiting with a scowl in place? 

"Zayne—" you start when you see him leaning against the kitchen doorframe, expression impassive.

He shushes you, tall and imposing; still in his pristine work suit from today.

"Have you at least had something to eat in the last 6 hours?" 

Remembering the little pact you both made, you nod quickly. "Mhm hmm! All my food is finished—cross my heart." You even remove your container from its insulated bag, shaking it lightly. "See? All empty." 

A shadow of a smile graces his lips. "Good. And how many cups of water did you drink?" 

Immediately, the smile drops from your face. "Uh... one? maybe two. I can't remember..."

The look in his eyes would've made you shrink away, if you couldn't already predict your boyfriend's next words.

"You are highly irresponsible with your own health, my darling." 

You wait for him to nag, but back up when he starts to approach you; the look on his face is unreadable. 

"What do I do with you, Y/N?" he sighs, and before you can react, cages you against the wall. The smell of his cologne—fresh and expensive—invades your nostrils.

Your head spins, all the blood going straight to your toes; your stomach falling when he leans forward, lips right at your ear.

"I guess I have to force you to take your health seriously. How do you think I will do that?" 

Zayne doesn't wait for you to answer. In one swift move, he has you in his arms, using his strength to carry you into the bedroom.

"Zayne," you squeak and gasp when he tosses you onto the bed. 

The mattress dips under his weight, his face inches from yours. Despite the change in his behavior, you tilt your lips up, needy and ready to feel his kisses. 

But, he never gives it to you. 

Instead, his large hands pin your wrists to the headboard, those sharp green eyes peering at you through half-mast lids. 

Zayne licks his lips, and subconsciously, you track the minute movement, biting on your own lower lip. 

The air turns heavier; sweetened with the promise of an unforgettable night. 

You accidentally tick your hips up, catching the front of his slacks. Your eyes widen when you feel an unmistakable bulge digging right into your crotch; Zayne's loss of composure pushing right into the heat of your thighs, demanding for your attention. 

In contrast, his expression doesn't change; an almost bored emerald gaze fixed on your every reaction. 

"You do know what will happen tonight, right?" 

Trying hard not to shiver, you nod. 

"Yes," you mumble, suddenly meek. 

"Yes, what?" 

You swallow, darting your gaze over his shoulder. He grunts, squeezing down on your wrists with enough pressure to make it throb, but not enough to leave a bruise.

"Sir!" You yelp. "Y-yes, Sir." 

One corner of his mouth ticks, and exhales a short huff. "Good. You still have your manners intact, I see."

Leaning up, he unbuttoned his vest. Using one hand to gather your wrists together, the free one was left to tug on his tie; Windsor knot giving way to a strip of his pale skin. 

You eyed the expanse of his neck hungrily; unabashed, even when his lips curl into a sinful smile.

“It seems like someone here has missed me,” Zayne whispers, and you fight back a shiver when he leans in, close enough for his breath to stir the loose locks on your cheeks. 

“I’m… sorry,” was all you could offer him weakly. Zayne’s thin lips curl into a smirk. At this point, you weren’t even sure why he wasn’t fucking you yet—what he was waiting for. “Please…” without a second thought, you clip your hips against his, trying to ease the tension between your thighs. “I need you, Zayne.”

His grunt was low—a warning. “Do you think you deserve it? I can’t keep reminding you to put yourself first, my darling. What if I’m gone? What would you do?” 

Even though it was a hypothetical question, your chest couldn’t help but squeeze at the thought of a Zayne-less life. You would rather feed yourself to a Wanderer than go a day without him.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, earnest this time. “I was careless. I should’ve listened to you. I… I’ll try my best to take care of myself.” 

Zayne gives you a look, like he doesn’t believe you for a single second. It has you scrambling your ringing mind to say something else. 

But, before you do, the world tilts, and you’re in his lap. Zayne’s lips were an inch away from yours. You zero in on them. Missing how they would feel gently slotted against your own—when you disregard the hesitation to plant your mouth on his. 

Patiently, like a martyr or a long suffering saint, Zayne lets you kiss him. He doesn’t respond back, at least not like what you expect.

No flames, no passion. It was as good as kissing a stone statue.

There was no yield in his gaze; those flinty green eyes refusing to thaw.

You repress a full body shiver. 

Suddenly, the coolness of the room becomes more pronounced. You feel the chill on your skin, where his long fingers wrap around your fleshy hips spilling past the Hunter-standard pants.

“I should punish you for that.” 

A flurry of movement. Your face meets the downy mattress, mouthful of cotton stoppering your protests. 

Sharp, stinging pain explodes across your ass. The sound of a large palm meeting skin echoes around the room again; your surprised yelp bouncing from wall to wall.

Soothingly, he rubs the ache from your tender globes, and in a voice dripping with sympathy, whispers, “I apologize for having to do this, my Aurora.”

Your back arches, the sudden awareness of your vulnerability penetrating your fuzzy mind. Pinned to the bed, his bigger frame pressing down on yours—you were trapped in the eye of a frigid storm.

“Zayne,” you whine, too aware of how warm his body felt on yours. 

I promise to take care of you, his voice rings in your head. Of memories during summer nights, skin stuck to skin, your head on his chest. I can’t lose you—not to the Wanderers or your own carelessness.

Zayne ceaselessly kept that promise—his devotion unmatched. And you were carelessly throwing it away every single day, right in his face. Denying his care, his treatment.

It all became clear to you in that split second.

He was past waiting for your excuses and apologies; all he wants is to make sure you never forget yourself ever again. 

Zayne props you on his lap once more, leaning back against the headboard.

“I want you to cum—”

It’s embarrassing how quickly you perk up only to be let down when he disclaims his generosity with a contradictory footnote.

“—without my help.”

He rests his head back, the arch of his neck tempting you to plant kisses down the pale stretch of skin; his Adam’s apple bobbing. The silence grows; you feel like you could suffocate from the chill spreading between your two tense bodies.

You shift forward, incredulous. “What the heck do you mean by that?” 

Zayne flickers his gaze to where your crotch snugly fits on top of his thigh. “You’re a smart girl… I’m sure you will figure it out soon.”

You huff, a pout pushing your displeasure right into his face. 

“You’re mean. I already said I was sorry.” 

But, he wasn’t going to budge. If there was one thing Zayne would never compromise on, it was caring for you. Sometimes, it scared you—how utterly serious he took his job as your caretaker in and out of the hospital walls. 

No amount of reasoning could change his mind. It was either you play his game, or walk away with that pit gnawing right at the bottom of your stomach—unfulfilled and gaping.

You lean back. Friction, burning hot, zings up your spine, and suddenly, what he wants you to do clicks in. 

“Oh.” 

You swallow. Outside, rain begins to splatter on the windowpane. The world goes blue and dark, holding its breath in tandem with yours.

Locking your hands on his shoulders, you lean forward. Then, shift back. And do it again and again until you feel the heat burning you up; razing your self control down to ashes as you let out a small, shaky moan. 

“Good girl,” Zayne whispers into the dark of your room. “You’re so pretty like this—getting off on my thigh.” 

You peel your teary eyes onto his softening ones. His jaw clenches, and a vein throbs in his temple. He fights back the urge to thrust up—to meet your sensual grinding. It was a losing battle. Every needy whimper slipping past your wet lips sends a pleasurable jolt to his cock. But, he can’t give in just yet. You had to learn your lesson the hard way. 

There’s an indecent spot of wetness staining his slacks. The dark material of your pants hides your arousal well, but Zayne can practically smell you. 

Sweet musk and a fragrant vanilla. 

His heart thrums wildly, staccato beats that match the constant pulsing of his aching cock. 

I need her so badly. He wants nothing more than to be buried in you; to watch you fall apart under his tender care. 

Every mellifluous whimper dripping from your lax mouth makes him see stars; coated with ecstasy, your eagerness continues to seep into the expensive fabric of his slacks. 

Zayne makes a mental note to get it dry cleaned at his earliest convenience. 

It should’ve annoyed him—this extra chore on his already burdened shoulders. But, he doesn’t care much for the cost of sending his expensive, tailored suits to the best dry cleaners in Linkon City. 

He would let you squirt all over them ten times over if it meant he could bring you to your zenith of pleasure and back. 

Those beautiful emerald eyes never leave yours; devouring every reaction. Studying your shifts and dips. Calculating his next move in his head.

You might’ve thought Zayne was hewn from rock with how quiet he was. 

But, if you would look closer, you would’ve seen how his hands were stuffed into fists right by his side. The shake in his breath when you toss your head back. How he could barely keep his jaw from tightening when you mewl out his name.

I promise to take care of her—no matter what. Caleb and your grandmother were witnesses to his solemn vow. 

He would keep his word. Do everything in his power to keep their precious girl in line—even if she thought it was unfair.

“Zayne, please,” you try to beg again. He only scoffs. 

Mean. He was so, so mean. 

You were aching all over, yearning for it. Needing his touch and attention on your body to drive yourself over the edge. 

Unfortunately for you, his self-control is immaculate. It doesn’t fold nor break. In the operation room, and outside of it, his priority was to maintain a level-headed calm wherever he went. 

But, inwardly, with you on his lap; all pouty, kissable lips and pussy dripping her excitement on his thigh, Zayne finds his famed composure cracking under the weight of your desire.

“Zayne,” you hiccup. “Please. Please. Touch me.”

Large, veiny hands grip your thighs, dragging you close. 

His mouth finally presses on yours, and it feels like a sparked flame striking near a mountain of straw.

He tries to keep his wits—he really does. Reminds himself not to indulge you again; to finally make you see how much he cares for you through this cruel game.

Like a fluctuation cutting through permanent winds that flow steadfastly North, only you had the power to sway his decisions. 

"Zayne," you moan into his mouth.

Then, in an instant, the flame sparks. The mountain of dry yearning goes up.

Every carefully constructed ploy is destroyed. 

Zayne kisses you like his life depended on it. Messy, clacking teeth, spit mixing and running down chins; hot hands grappling any inch of skin available. 

Your clothes were pushed off your body and onto the floor. Zayne’s luxurious vest and button down shirt was almost torn from his body by your eager hands. 

The bare lines of his torso and muscular thighs fit perfectly with yours, his body slotting in between your spread legs. 

Sharp lines bloom down his back, your nails dragging down his skin; his eyes almost rolling back into his head when he sinks into your heat.

“Shit,” he cusses, almost inaudible. The sound of wetness meeting in the darkening room, your moans and his heavy pants fill the air. 

Good girl. Move your hips like that. You’re doing so well for me. I love you. I love you. If you disobey me again, your punishment will be more severe. You’re everything to me, my Aurora. 

“Zayne!” your cry shatters like a bullet unloading from a smoking gun. He almost flinches back when you squeal right in his ear, back tensing and arching like a taut string.

Slipping a hand in between your bodies, he nudges and plays with your clit, drawing your high to an unbearable tension.

He feels your heels digging into his hips, your sweet pussy squeezing down on his length like the world’s most precious love declaration. You bury your face into his neck; feel his pulse fluttering against your lips.

“Inside,” you whimper, as if you could read his mind. “I want you inside, Zayne.”

He grunts, his entire body trembling from the force of the tight band around his lower body. 

Zayne ruts up into you, little more than an animal in heat—the ridges and bumps of your pussy gets him in a higher state of mind, delirious enough to start moaning shamelessly. 

You grip his face, touching your foreheads together. Zayne’s lips find yours, and within that split second you believe something fundamentally true. 

That in every life, every form, every stretch between space and time—you would never forget how his lips feel like on yours. 

A shuddering breath right on your neck. The twitch of his cock nudging right on your sweet, golden spot. 

You tense, toes curling—

—and shatter around his cock gloriously. 

Warmth spreads deep in your body, taking over your toes and fingers. Driving you heady with the taste of him on your tongue. 

Zayne finishes inside you, breathing hard against the shell of your ear. 

The silence is broken by his soft gasp, and you feel the wet pull of his cock out of your puffy pussy. Immediately, he replaces the emptiness with the full circle of his arms around your tired body.

You sigh, sticky and filled with longing, face protected right in the crook of his neck.

“Zayne?” 

“Hmm?” 

He plays with a loose lock of your hair. Not one for many words, Zayne’s actions speak louder and sweeter than any poetry you had ever read.

Rolling you over, he hovers close, lips gently brushing your cheeks, temple and finally, your lips.

“I love you,” your confession spurs something primal and tender in his soul. He kisses you once, twice, to wipe out the dark need to claim you again and again until every fiber of your skin is written with his name.

“I love you, too.” 

He presses one long kiss onto your forehead and chuckles to himself.

"Come on. Follow me to the kitchen. Don't think I forgot about those 8 glasses of water you didn't drink today..."

a/n: if this man wants me to watch for my health, i'll make sure my medical report comes back with an A+

— feedback and reblogs are loved in this house iykyk

©️ all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost, translate, or claim as your own.

[rogersideup]

Nice to be Kneaded

Nice to be Needed

Series Masterlist

Previous part: Inhale, Exhale Next part: Captain-what’s-his-butt

Word count: 4,465

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Descriptions of anxiety attacks and mental health issues.

Steve made sure to show up at your place at exactly 11 am. He wasn't sure what you had in mind for the day, so he settled for his usual jeans and t-shirt with a hat on his head and sunglasses in his pocket just in case.

When you opened the door, you welcomed him in with no hesitation. His first thoughts were about how trusting you continued to be. You had no more than three conversations with him. What if he turned out to be a murderer? A criminal?

Well... technically... he was a criminal. And a fugitive. And he did kill a few nazis back in his day...

But that was exactly his point. Of course he would never hurt you, but what if he was someone a little shadier, a little more rough around the edges?

As the day went on, he continued learning just how infectious that energy was. He found himself having to hold back even more personal information from you. None of what he told you to fill in the gaps of the life he once knew was a lie. He still couldn't lie to you. So instead he just gave you vague information.

And as you showed him around town, you started to learn more about him. At the coffee shop, you learned he used to serve in the military and work for the government, but a lot of the details were hidden behind walls confidentiality he couldn't break.

He told you at the earth history museum that he was a New York native, his mother and father were no longer around. At that same place he learned you recently lost your father due to an unfortunate circumstance, but your mother was still around to make sure all your choices were lining up to the big list of life long plans she made for you. You were raised in sunny California, but came here to start a life with an ex-boyfriend who had done you wrong. But you were settled, and uprooting once more seemed like too much of a burden. Greenwood sucked you in fast, and you didn't know if you could adjust to the fast paced California lifestyle again at this point in your career.

You asked more about his career as you walked him through the friendship gardens. His service was great for him for a while, but sometimes working so close to anything in the government made him question his own morals. He hated wondering if he was really doing the right thing everyday, so he left. You also learned that he was thirty-something years old.

Finally you led him to the prettiest park surrounded by even prettier views, and that's when he asked you for a rundown on everyone in the neighborhood just so he could be better prepared for when he inevitably meets the locals.

The summer sunshine on his skin was doing wonders to his mood that had been so sad and honestly depressing the passed couple of days, and you once again got this feeling that he really needed a friend. You were happy to sit in the grass with him and people watch as conversation continued to flow naturally between the two of you.

"S0, what got you into baking?" He asked sounding happier than you had heard him in the short time you've known him.

"I used to bake a lot with my grandmother when I was a kid" You explained. "My earliest memories of baking is rolling and cutting out sugar cookies with her, but if they weren't perfect she would make me squish them and try again."

"So I guess that explains why everything you make is so pretty" He pointed out, watching you run your fingers through the blades of grass.

"It's been conditioned into my brain since childhood" You agreed. "Then after that I guess I just found it interesting. There's so many different kinds of baking, and so many niche sets of skills within it that I just wanted to try and learn everything I could. If I didn't get something right, I'd squish it and try again until it came out perfect."

"Even as a hobby you'd squish the imperfect stuff?"

"Oh yeah, but that's what got me to where I am now. Plus, if you squish it in your mouth, it still counts as squishing it" You pointed out your loop hole.

"Ah, I see" He smiled. "Did this make you more afraid or less afraid of failure as an adult?"

"Let's just say my emotions get very squished when something doesn't come out right the first time" You put it gently with a giggle.

"That's such a cute way of saying you get upset" Steve laughed. "I'm going to start using that from now on. I'm no longer going to be mad, or sad, my emotions are just going to squish."

"I think that's the perfect description" You defended your choice of wording.

"I do too" Steve agreed. "Okay, so you liked to bake, and you created a whole tool belt full of different baking skills. What made you want to start the business?"

"I guess it just seemed like the obvious next step" You pondered.

"I'm sure opening up a place like that is a huge learning curve" he thought out-loud.

"If I could give up the whole business side of it, I would in a heartbeat" You giggled. "Payroll, health code standards, government regulation, employer protection laws... it's all so much to have to put into consideration when making the smallest of choices. Oh! And my taxes are a mess"

"But you're happy doing what you do?"

"It's a dream come true" You smiled. "It's stressful sometimes, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else."

"Mmm" he hummed in acknowledgment. His mind ran far away from him as a man walking his dog passed by on the sidewalk about 15 feet away from where they were sitting in the grass. His Iron-Man shirt caught Steve's eye, and his brain started to wander far away from the conversation.

Your eyes followed his gaze, and when they landed on the Tony Stark inspired street ware, the expression on his face became unreadable to you. At this point in the Captain America versus Iron-Man political split, you we're pretty good at guessing who chose which side then avoiding conversations about it like the plague.

Stating which side you supported so publicly usually elicited the reactions of strangers, either filling their faces with pride or disgust. You swore the nature of this town made the topic like a man hunt, as if someone's opinions made them a great person or a completely terrible person based on whichever side they chose. You'd never met anyone like you, willing to entertain both sides, and willing to understand that there was probably more to the situation the public didn't know and that maybe things weren't as black and white as the insufferably bored, small town and small minded folks made it out to be.

Maybe the borderline sad expression on your neighbor's face was a sign that he possibly felt similarly to you, but you were so exhausted over the constant opinions on the topic being thrown at you so you certainly weren't going to subject him to that either.

"What about you?" You questioned, causing his head to snap towards you.

"What?" He asked, trying his hardest to stay calm. Did you ask him something and he completely missed it? Please don't be about the iron-man shirt...

"Got any big career plans or are you happily retired?" You reiterated.

He visibly relaxed and thought about it for a moment. "I dunno..." he shrugged. "I guess this is the first time in my life where I've realized what I've always wanted and what I've been doing were two completely different paths."

"Well, maybe it's a sign to just enjoy life and whatever it throws at you for a bit." You suggested with a pleasant grin.

"Whatever it throws at me better be peaceful and relaxing for once" He agreed with a big lopsided smile. "Like, I don't know, a park ranger or a librarian."

"An artist! ... a baker?"

"If I was a baker there would be a significant increase of squishing happening" He shook his head.

"But you're an artist! I'm sure your creative eye could translate to something in the kitchen. Sugar cookie decorating maybe?"

"You don't even know if I'm a good artist" Steve laughed. "For all you know I could have the skill set of a toddler"

"You told me you went to art school for a year" You defended yourself. "You'd rather me assume that you had the skill set of a toddler rather than the talent of a person who studied art?"

"It's like the glass half full or half empty debate" He brought up.

"I always think the glass is half full"

"I tend think the glass is not half full, nor half empty. The glass is just is" He explained.

"I guess that's a more realistic way to view it" You pondered. "So rather than you being a beginner or an expert in art, you just are where you are."

"Sure, we'll call it that" He slowly nodded his head.

The two of you spent pretty much the entire day together, and yet when you got back home after leaving him with a friendly hug, something just felt off.

It took a warm bath and a glass of wine to figure out what was bothering you. However, once it was in your mind, you held onto it all night until the morning, all day through work, and an hour after you got home until Georgia got back from the gardening center.

She made you both a cup of sweet tea and sat with you on the porch swing as you vented. The hot summer air and warm breeze payed no mind to the setting sun, it wasn't going to allow the impending moonlight to calm the heat.

"Wait- so why were you hanging out with the hunk in the first place?" She asked, trying to digest all the information you spat at her at over a mile a minute. The slow swing of the bench beneath the two of you did nothing to calm your nerves.

"I was just trying to be friendly and show him around, I thought he could use a friend since all of this is so new to him" You justified.

"And that's the only reason?" She wiggled her eyebrows at you.

"...yeeahhh..." Your voiced raised in pitch.

"I don't believe a single second of that, but go on darlin'" She smirked.

"I dunno, every time I've seen him I get this weird inclination that I need to talk to him, and every time I do it's fine. He's easy to talk to, we have a few similar interests, he's really good about asking questions about me and seems genuinely interested in getting to know everyone here but the second I ask anything about him it's like he turns into this dull, flat, kind've lifeless creature." You explained.

"A creature, huh?"

"Okay, maybe creature is a little dramatic." You admitted. "I just don't understand how someone could go from a really outgoing chipper dude to the saddest lost puppy in the rain in the span of 2 seconds."

"Maybe he's a murderer" Georgia joked.

"Mrs. Georgia Peach, that is not very nice!" You shrieked, bumping her shoulder with yours.

"A stalker! Maybe, he's freshly divorced."

"Are you implying that a divorcee is just as bad as being a murderer or a stalker?" Your head slanted to the side.

"No, not by any means, Baby doll." She giggled. "My point is, we don't know even a fraction of what he might've been through to land him in a whole new town by himself. There are so many situations in which someone could shut down and maybe not be so trusting of people, he could just need some time. It really could be that simple."

"Maybe I just need to put my patience pants on" You sighed. "I know I probably sound crazy, but there's just something about him I can't quite grasp. I want to be his friend, and I'm trying, but he just seems so... sad?"

"If there's one thing I know it's that when you're in a bad place, you unintentionally push people away. Maybe slowly at first then all at once, but the people in your life who stand their ground and walk by your side are always appreciated. Keep trying, push him back very slowly. You'll get there eventually." Georgia brushed your hair out of your face. "But darlin' it's also important to remember that it's not your job to fix him."

Your track record of all your ex-boyfriends came flooding to mind when she gave you that reminder. Everyone who knew the insight of what your past relationship or two was like seemed to be rightfully concerned about who you chose as a partner going forward. "I know." You sighed. "But you know how I am. I love too much way too fast whether it be a stranger I just met or a dear friend of five years. I can't just let somebody that I know pass by without a second thought."

"I know, baby, and everyone who knows you is so blessed to have received a love like yours but not everyone can understand that it's a privilege and not something that they should be taking advantage of." She continued petting your hair, her hand made it to your shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You're sweet as pie, anyone from a million miles away could see that. Just make sure you're continuing to make yourself a priority when you're lovin' on everybody else."

"Of course I will." You gave her a reassuring grin. "Remember what I said? I'm happy on my own."

Life proceeded as normal for a few days. Quiet, but normal.

You found solace in your cozy bakery, humming along to the soft music playing over the speaker system as you sat at the decorator's long metal table, decorating sugar cookies for a custom order while your beloved employees prepared to close the store in 15 minutes.

Flooding inside the lines you made with royal icing, the cashier popped her head back in the kitchen that was only occupied by you.

"Someone is asking for you!" She chimed sweetly.

"Thank you! I'll be there in a sec" you looked up.

When you made your way out to the front, you saw Steven in his full glory. The one strand of golden hair that always seemed to have a mind of its own prevailed in it's efforts to never stay in place. Once again, his energy was low and he seemed awfully sad.

"Hey there, honey!" You smiled, even though you recognized that look in his eye. "How are you?" You asked as you walked out from behind the counter to greet him with a warm hug.

"I'm good. Sorry if this is a bad time, I know you guys are closing soon but I haven't seen you around in a few days so I figured I'd stop by real quick just to say hi." He explained.

You looked at the pastry bag in his hand, realizing he had already gotten and paid for a treat. "Not a bad time at all!" You reassured him. "Even if we're closed and you see a light on, just knock on the door and I'll let you in."

Just based off the way you were looking at him, he could tell you knew he was sad. The passed few days have been even more emotionally painful, and it was getting increasingly worse regardless of his effort to make it better.

He tried everything. He ran as far and fast as he could, numbly sat in front of a television playing romcoms, he bathed for hours, drew and painted, read and solved puzzles, but nothing was working.

After a shower, an anxiety attack, pacing around his house for about an hour while seriously considering turning himself in and making this crazy manhunt finally come to an end, he realized the one thing he hadn't tried yet was interacting with another person. So he grabbed his keys and came straight to the only place he knew he'd be warmly welcomed.

"Good to know" He attempted a smile. "What's that?"

He pointed at a big cardboard shipping box sitting on top of a wooden pallet, placed neatly along a wall.

"Oh! That's a new mid-sized stand mixer I ordered since our other one burned out. I went with one slightly bigger then the last and that's how it arrived a few hours ago." You giggled. The shipping situation really did seem dramatic for what was inside the box.

"And they shipped it like that?" He raised his eyebrows at the box.

"Unfortunately" You nodded. "I will say it's a lot heavier than it looks though. The box says 200 pounds so Michael and James from our street are going to come in tomorrow to help me set it up"

"What?" He questioned with an almost genuinely confused look on his face. "I can do it right now."

"... it's two hundred pounds, Steven." You reiterated with a giggle.

Failing to see your point, he handed you the pastry bag in his hands. "Hold my tart"

You took it from him without saying a word, and set it down on the counter before walking behind him towards the box. He bent over and put his hands on it, rocking it from side to side to find its center of balance.

"Oh gosh please be careful, don't hurt yourself" You nagged like a mom, and it actually brought a genuine smile to his face.

If only you knew the real kind've danger he put himself in on a daily basis...

He lifted the box without so much as a grunt or that silly face humans make when something is too heavy. "Holy shit... do you need help?"

"Where do you want it?" He asked, obviously amused that the two men you thought you needed to get the task done were now rendered completely useless.

"In the back, do you need help?" You asked again, and started walking to guide him to the empty counter space you reserved for the mixer.

"Nope, it's totally fine" He shook his head.

He didn't even look like he was struggling.

"Okay follow me" You shook your head in disbelief with a smile on your face as you led him into the kitchen as quickly as you could so he could set it down. "Right here, please!"

When he set it down on the designated counter and you went to grab a box cutter to get it out of the box, you came back still amazed. The two of you opened it up, and he lifted it out of the cardboard and set it where it belonged.

"Easy peasey!" He wiped of his hands.

"And I thought I needed two people for that!" You said loudly with amusement. "What the heck, man! You're ripped."

Steve laughed at your reaction. "What can I say? Moving all that furniture really got my arms in shape"

"No, there's no way that moving a couch made your arms that impressive" You shook your head with a laugh. "You're Hercules. There's no other explanation."

"You're once again giving me too much credit" He shook his head with a smile.

"No need to be humble, Superman."

"Superman isn't real" He rebutted sassily, waving a pointed finger in the air.

You stopped and thought for a second. "... I can't think of a real superhero now that isn't controversial at the moment so we're just going to settle on calling you Superman."

Even though you were being playful and happy as a clam, his mind immediately realized that you would probably hate him if you knew the truth. He couldn't just assume that your thoughts on the Civil War would side with him, and he needed to protect his heart.

Maybe coming here was a bad choice.

"Superman it is" He put on his front that everything was fine. "How about I'll get rid of that pallet in the front while you unwrap all this plastic?"

"No, honey, it's fine. We can take care of the pallet in the morning!" You denied. "You've already helped immensely"

"Please, I insist"

You sighed at the man before a shy smile smeared across your lips. "... thank you"

"I'll be right back"

He took the wooden pallet out from the store and to the dumpster in the parking lot, then made his way back into the kitchen where you had unwrapped the mixer from the plastic it came from and plugged it in. As Steve was washing his hands, you turned it on to make sure it worked, and the swirling sound brought a smile to your face.

"She works?" Steve asked.

"Like a dream" You confirmed. "Thank you so much for the help"

"Absolutely, if you ever need help with anything around here just let me know. I'm more than happy to help out whenever you need."

When you saw how his much his mood changed just from being able to do something for you, you had idea.

From that day on, Steve would come every Friday night to help unload the supply delivery. The 50 pound bags of sugar, flour, powdered sugar and brown sugar kept him occupied for at least half an hour. Especially since he insisted he would reorganize them every week to make sure the new ones made it to the bottom of the stack and the old ones would go on top.

Then it evolved into him staying with you way passed close to watch you decorate. It was fascinating to him, and he was genuinely interested. He'd sit right next to you and ask you why you did things a certain way, how you knew how to move your hand or pick out things like colors or sprinkles.

Soon there after, Friday nights turned into Friday and Wednesday nights. He'd come in after all the employees left and follow you around, you were more than happy to let him.

It was mutually beneficial, you weren't so lonely in the hours required to keep all the custom orders flowing out at the rate they were requested, and Steve finally had something to do.

Sometimes he felt a little bad just sitting there and having hours of conversation without as much as lifting his finger, so as he got more comfortable in your perfect little bakery he'd find things to do.

If you were doing something that required frosting or icing, you'd tell him exactly what color you needed and guide him through making it. He'd mix it all up and put it in the correct kind of piping bag for you, he even got really good at tying off all the ends so it didn't spill out as you squeezed.

Sometimes he'd notice a leaky pipe under the hand washing sinks or wobbling chair legs and he'd fix them up. If there were dishes in the sink that the bakers couldn't get to he'd do them no question. But when there was nothing to do, he'd chat your ear off and you happily listened. He was like your live action podcast, and you learned that Steven knew a whole bunch about a whole lot of different topics.

Nice to be kneaded became his little sanctuary away from home. He looked forward to the days he spent loitering in the shop, and when he got home he loved that his clothes always smelled like cookies.

You added Tuesdays to the mix when Steven asked you to teach him how to make something, anything really. He didn't know if it was because he actually wanted to learn how to bake or if he just wanted a reason to spend more time with you.

He grew to craving your presence on days your schedules didn't match up, and on those days his brain actually had room to think about the reality of what he was doing.

Every time he felt himself growing closer to you, he realized he was only hurting you. Eventually he'd have to go, and that day when you knocked on his door with nobody there to answer would be a hard one. You'd have to process that all the time you'd invested into him were nothing but lies. He knew this was going to end with you hating him, and he knew that would break his heart too.

As close as he was with you, he still wasn't nearly as close as he wanted to be. If his life was in order and his head wasn't always one wrong move away from being on a platter, you would've been swept off your feet by now.

Whenever you smiled and looked at him through your eyelashes, all he wanted to do was kiss it right off your lips. He craved to hold you in his arms, claim you all for himself. But for your sake and his, he stayed an arm's length away.

You deserved better than a fugitive, and you deserved better than whatever he could give to you in his current situation. You definitely deserved better than to be lied to by someone you were devoting so much time and energy to.

So given the circumstances, Steve was doing his best. Plotting ways to let you down easy when the time came for him to go. Maybe if he could fit it in whenever he inevitably needed to run, he'd find a way to tell you with his own mouth. It would be easier hearing it from him rather than a news story or a police report.

But he was sure he had at least a little while longer to figure that out, and he really hoped he did. Because if his time with you taught him anything, it's that he was happy moving around sacks of flour and mixing icing colors for you because it made both of you happy.

He'd tighten all the loose screws, reach every supply on the highest shelf, and barter with your supplier about the astronomical influx of egg prices just for you.

If he had to run as far and fast as he could to a whole different country in a far away place first thing in the morning, he'd always be reminded of the most important lesson you taught him.

It really was nice to be needed.

Next part: Captain-what’s-his-butt

Tag list: @patzammit @bemysugarbean @buckymydarlingangel @happinessinthebeing @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @differenttyphoonwerewolf @themotherof10 @talesofadragon @spikeluv84

To join the tag list, let me know 🤍🧁

[myaquariusheart]

14/4

I usually write in my journal but I've been overthinking too much about my handwriting and at least here I don't need to worry about my handwriting. Another upside to just writing here, it's easy and convenient and I'm always on my laptop. I really want to document every day of my life so I can look back and see what was happening. I hate that I don't commit to writing every day because there are so many memories I forgot about. Even writing about the little things are essential, my mood, what I did in the day, the progresses of my relationships with people, etc. Today I woke up and went to the university to work on my presentation. We're going to present it next Monday and although I am super nervous I think it will be great for me to work on my confidence, and it's only 10 mins so it can't be too bad. I just finished watching the new episode of Power, right now I'm more interested in Monet's storyline than Tariq. The whole Lauren situation is such a bore to me and I can't be bothered with it. Obviously, Tariq is going to love her, but she is not right for him, she doesn't suit his lifestyle. He is a drug dealer at the end of the day and she is just a good rich student. Lorenzo is also dead and I don't get why they keep killing people off, I think it would have been interesting to see Monet and Lorenzo's relationship drift apart alongside the kids but the writers have robbed us of that. Now we're just going to see Cane take over his pops. Tomorrow I'm taking Alv to the cinema to watch the Super Mario movie, which I'm excited about for her and hope she enjoys even though she doesn't know too much about it. I'm sure she will be obsessed with Princess Peach by the end of it. I had really bad anxiety before but it's all gone now which I'm happy about. I started to read YOU again and have made it my mission this year to get through all 4 books. Caroline has released the 4th book yesterday and it came in the post today. It did come damaged which is also irritating my brain. I just hope after all my assignments are finished I can finally get into reading again, I feel so shit that I bought that short storybook about witches and never finished it, but I will finish it after I've completed the You series. Right now I am feeling okay, just happy I'm able to write and need to think of some goals to do this year. I need to book my theory again I know I have definitely given up after I failed but ill put more mind to it once my dissertation is complete. I also have that stupid essay for Sports Science which is another cursed Literature Review. Anyway i need to be positive as i am a powerful human being and everything i say will speak into existence. I haven't been manifesting in a long time, and i need to. I constantly get over fixtaed on something and just forget it about it forever, like last week i went gym EVERYDAY and this week? Not even once. Anyway that's why we have a new day everyday and its another chance to better myself. Maybe i can start gym next week when I'm feeling motivated too. Gonna go back to watching Love is Blind and try and sleep.

[pasiveagressive]

Neighbors // h.s

Okay so after writing this I kind of want to also write it in Harry’s POV? Also mentions of s** later, like way later. If that triggers anyone.

BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS

After two months of couch surfing you finally had your own apartment. You had somehow lost the apartment that you spent the time finding and haggling for when you and your ex broke up, after he cheated on you. The thing was that it didn’t bother you to never have to go back there, you had just felt bad inconveniencing your friends whose space you were stealing. But now, you have your own place finally after searching for the perfect one. The cherry on top is that your land lady seems to be insane which you have to say would be a first for you considering the LA lifestyle.

You are on your way back to your unit for getting your mail when a raspy voice calls out,

“Hold the elevator please!” not wanting to seem hostile you hold it, even if you weren’t feeling particularly sociable. You immediately regret it when the man comes into view. He is wearing a huge hooded sweatshirt, sunglasses, a baseball cap and he is making an effort to keep his face to the ground. As he walks into the confined space you try to subtly move as far away from him as possible.

“Four please.” great exactly where you were headed. When you get off at your floor you turn to walk towards your unit. You take a peek behind you and notice the strange man seemingly following you. With a huff you walk a bit faster fumbling with your keys. When you arrive at your door you realize the man is almost directly behind you and then… he walks right past you to the door next to yours. An audible sigh of relief comes out as you calm down and place your key in the lock.

“ ’m Harry by the way. I guess we are neighbors.” you smile and then step into your unit. Just because he didn’t kill you this time doesn’t mean he won't try to in the future.

It’s about a week later when you see him again,

“I never caught your name.” He says

“That would be because I never tried to give it to you.” you reply the snarkiness is unnecessary, but very present.

“Okay then elevator girl, I guess I will see you around.” you still have never seen the guy's actual face.

A month passes and you see Harry around from time to time, he greets you the same way every time,

“Hey there elevator girl, got a name yet?” and you respond the same way every time, with one single finger. He laughs and says “See you around.” and that's that. Until one day it's not. When you see Harry this time he ignores you. 

“What no question about my name today?” in truth you looked forward to the banter, he seemed to be the only one that might be around your age in the whole building, and while your chats with Mrs. Peters and Mrs. Perez are nice, they also don’t want to talk about pop culture with you.

“ ‘m not in the mood. See you around.” and he goes into his apartment. His tone didn’t sit right with you. You go into your place and take twenty minutes to whip up some homemade chocolate chip cookies, your favorite when having a bad day. You take them next door and knock. After a minute he opens the door and you almost drop the plate.

“Oh my god. You are Harry Styles.” and suddenly everything makes sense. The weird hours that you would hear him get in at sometimes, the constant face coverings. His hand automatically covers your mouth

“SHHHH! Please don’t post my address on twitter or, or something.” you watch his hand rub down his face. He looks exhausted, you note.  

“Course not.” you protest “First of all you think I want screaming teenagers banging on my door at all hours of the day, no thank you. And also I have lived in LA for several years now, running into celebrities is like an everyday occurrence. I was just shocked, and also the dots were connecting in my brian.” He just stares at you for a minute,

“Okayy… is there something you needed? A cup of sugar or something, because chances are I don’t have it, my pantry isn’t exactly stocked.” 

“Oh I actually just brought you these because you said you were having a bad day.” you hold out the plate of cookies and his face softens “ And my name by the way, is Y/N.”

“Y/N.” he tests it out, “Well Y/N would you like to come in and have a cookie?” you hesitate for a second 

“If you are sure I am not going to be imposing?” 

“Come on in.” he takes a step back and opens the door wider. 

That night the two of you really hit it off, he talked to you about how he had ‘the worst day at the studio’ and you told him how you were doing odd jobs on film sets learning to become a director. He laughed and told you that one day he would have to hire you to direct a music video of his. 

It’s a few months later around two in the morning when he knocks on your door. Groaning you go to answer it, mumbling about how you are going to kill whomever dared wake you up. Looking through the peephole you see harry practically bouncing off the walls,

“H, you do realize,” you start to say as you open the door but once he can see you, he cuts you off by slamming his body into yours, hugging you. 

“I did it love! I finished the album!” and then he kisses you. Completely caught off guard and admittedly still half asleep you freeze, which makes him freeze, which leads to a very awkward pull away. “Sorry.” he apologizes 

“No, don't be. You were excited and got carried away.” you give a half smile. 

“Yeah.” he says half-heartedly and smiles back “Anyway I know it's late, or early I guess depending on how you look at it but I wanted to give you this.” He holds out a CD, “I know that almost no one owns a CD player anymore so if you need to borrow one let me know, but as my best friend I wanted you to be one of the first ones to listen to it.” you take it from his hands, and the hug him again,

“I am so proud of you no matter what.” you whisper in his ear. “And I know for a fact that this is going to be phenomenal.” he squeezes you tighter and then says goodnight. You look closer at the CD, 

Fine Line 

For my best friend. 

All My Love -H

You decide now is the right time to listen to it. You dig through your junk closet and find your old CD player. You put the disc in and lay on the floor closing your eyes taking in every melody, lyric, and instrument. You listen to the album three times before you go to sleep that night. 

The next morning you bang on Harry’s door. When he opens it a few minutes later you push past him into his apartment.

“That album is beautiful, you know that right? It is an absolute masterpiece. Every song, lyric, chord, everything is just so perfect.” 

“Sure Y/N, why don’t you come in.” he yawns 

“Sorry.” you grimace 

“Thank you for the kind words though. I am glad you like it.” The two of you sit in comfortable silence only good friends can while he makes himself a cup of tea. “Would you want to direct it?” he asks you making you furrow your brow in confusion

“That’s a joke right?” 

“Not at all love. You are who I want to direct all the videos for the album , no one knows me better.” you drop the plate you were holding.

“Harry, surely you want someone with more credentials, like Vincent Haycock, or Dave Meyers.” you come up with two directors with far more experience than you.

“Do you not want to do it?” He asks confused

“Of Course I want to but I think there are others who would be better suited.” 

“Well I want you.” you take a deep breath in at his words wishing they had been said in a different format. You had a crush on Harry since you were a teenager, sure, every girl and a whole lot of guys did. But after actually getting to know him, you were in deep shit, how does one fall out of love with Harry Styles? You wonder to yourself, and that kiss last night? Not helping.

“Okay.” you respond

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

Long story short that is how you ended up in Mexico with Harry Styles, shooting his music video.

Being best friends, really allowed the two of you to figure out what he wanted for the Lights Up video. It was not helping your deep unrelenting love for the man with how much time you had to spend with him. 

On set you tried to keep it professional but it was hard for two reasons, the first being that he was constantly leaning on your shoulder or pressed against your side while looking at shots. The second is that he was half naked and oily for the majority of the time he’s right on top of you. Leading to a very hot and bothered Y/N.

“Harry, please take it a bit more seriously.” you half sigh half laugh as he sticks his tongue out to the camera for the millionth time.

“Just trying to lighten your mood lovie.” and then for the third reason the pet names.

A few shots later you dismiss the extras and as the crew cleans up look over a few shots. Harry comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, causing you to draw a breath in.

“Haz you scared me.” you smack his arm “You better have all the sweat and oil off, I really like this shirt.” you scold and try to pull out of his arms.

“ I’ll buy you a new one.” he mumbles but holds you close. You sigh and make more of an effort to remove yourself from his arms.

“What are you doing Harry?” you ask. His eyebrows come together in confusion.

“Well I was just loving on my best mate until she pulled away from me.” you sigh

“If all I am is your best ‘mate’ then we need to set some boundaries.” Not being able to take anymore of the relationship things without the actual relationship, you need some clarity. If possible Harry’s eyebrows come closer together “I am in love with you.” you admit and it feels like an elephant has been sitting on your chest and it finally walked away. “Harry Styles I am in love with you, and if you aren’t in love with me that’s fine but I need you to say it, and then I need a couple weeks of distance from you after this shoot.” His jaw hangs open as he says nothing. You sigh again and start to walk towards your hotel room. You get there, and open the door when you feel a hand on your arm. You open your mouth to scream when you see the tattoos. 

“Harry, if you can’t even tell me that you don’t love me as a courtesy at least let me get over it without you hovering.” you tell him wanting to scream in frustration. 

“I love you.” He says and then pulls you to him smashing your lips together pushing you into the room. When you pull away a minute later he continues talking “Fine Line is at least a third about you.”

“What?” 

“I was stuck, and then you came into my life and my world changed. I could suddenly write again, and I started seeing things differently, and yes I know how cliche that sounds.” you laugh with him and then lean in pressing your mouths together. One thing leads to another, as they do.

“Okay,” you say after a few minutes “I have this crazy idea for the Adore You video, but hear me out.”

“Only if you hear mine for Falling.” He smiles at you

“Deal.”

“You know now that you're my girlfriend we should seal the deal with a kiss elevator girl.”

“Girlfriend I don’t remember ever being asked if I wanted to be a girlfriend. I was just planning on using you for sex.” you say with what you hope is a nonchalant tone.

“Is that so?” Harry asks and you hum as you start to leave the bed. He suddenly pulls you back down, and you giggle as you fall. “Be mine?” he asks

“Only if you’ll be mine.” you respond 

“Deal.” he leans in and kisses you and the world could end but you would be happy.

[kisskeiji]

P R O L O G U E

Lost & Found

WARNINGS: language, cheating, violence (?) 

 When it comes to love, we all expect a fairy tale, a happy ending where the prince and the princess stay together forever and ever. Where love remains untouched even when time passes by. In real life, that fairy tale means a future together, the need for domesticity and endless support from and for your loved one, at least, that's what she thought, and she was fine with daydreaming about a life together with the man she spent the last four years with.

Y/N was hardworking, in fact, sometimes, she was too much of a hard worker, pushing herself to the limit to fulfill all her goals. As a mass communication major, she studied hard every day and tried to keep up with everyone’s expectations, including her own. As a bartender, she worked every night at some popular bar to pay for rent, school and basic needs. Even when she came home at ungodly hours and passed out from exhaustion she was always up in time to get ready to head to class. As a daughter, she tried to make her parents proud by doing her best at school, catching up with them weekly and sharing all she could. As a sister and friend, she was doting and always available, up to anything, the type to make you laugh and stay with you at your lowest. And even with her hectic lifestyle where she barely had time for herself; she was a girlfriend.

Y/N was devoted.

She had more love inside her than she could ever handle. She loved with everything she had, and if she loved and cared for her friends and family, all her adoration and devotion was focused on her boyfriend, Iwaizumi Hajime. She loved the man dearly, he was the reason why she worked so hard, the reason why she kept going even when her own body screamed for help, and she tried so hard to make him happy and proud. So proud that he could see a future with her by his side. She wanted nothing more, even if it meant leaving a lot of opportunities behind just to be by his side.

You see, after being in a long-distance relationship for a little over a year, they both thought they could go through anything and still be there for each other. They both promised to never be apart for that long again, they couldn’t take it.

Everyone rooted for them, they saw their love bloom, grow and go through one of the roughest patches in every relationship. For everyone, including them, their love was invincible. Stronger than any bond. The type of love that lasts forever. But lately the love they both professed to each other was often overlooked, more like, all her sacrifices and efforts were not enough proof of how much she loved him.

She noticed. Of course, she did. When she started to stay more hours studying for her upcoming finals, when she took longer shifts at the bar and spent more time out rather than home. She noticed how his eyes lingered on her when she got up to get ready for school and how much he longed for her touch. She also noticed when he stopped.

‘He thinks I don’t love him’ She thought to herself. And she tried, she really did. By cooking his breakfast and lunch everyday before leaving, by leaving sticky notes where he could see them, by kissing him goodnight and texting him all through the day to check up on him. And still it was not enough.

Acts of service could never replace the value of intimacy and physical touch, and she knew that.

‘Just a little longer’ she tried to convince herself everyday when she walked home from work. ‘It will all be worth it.’

And that comes down to this very moment, when she opened the door of their  shared apartment with fatigue numbing her limbs and making her feel dizzy. She left her bag right beside her shoes and walked in. Something was off, that was all she could think of when she made her way to the living room.

A moan.

Her breath hitched for a second and with fear she looked up, finding Iwaizumi kissing another girl on the kitchen counter both missing many clothing items.

The world stopped. She couldn’t think of anything else more than the scene that unraveled in front of her. Was she dreaming? Because it was not funny, it felt more like a nightmare. The numbness of her limbs travelled all the way until it reached every part of her body. Tears gathering in her eyes but never falling. She just walked backwards trying to run away but at the same time unable to stop looking at him as heartbreaking the scene was, her eyes were on him filled with hurt and disgust.

Taking a deep breath, she turned around on her heels and tried to walk away, to her disgrace, her presence was sensed by the girl who was now in Hajime´s arms. Terrified she pulled away and told him to turn around and fear invaded his body. He turned around and saw her pick up her bag and leave the apartment without a word.

“Y/N!” He called.

“Who was that?” the girl asked petrified.

“My girlfriend.” He replied looking for his phone dialing her number.

“You had a girlfriend?” She asked. She didn’t know. When he didn’t answer her question, she hopped off the counter and tried to gather her clothes to get dressed.

He pulled his pants up and throwing his shirt on he ran after her. When he got to the hallway, he saw her on the elevator, pushing the closing button repeatedly for it to close faster.

“Y/N!” He screamed. She looked at him with nothing but pain in her eyes. His heart dropped “Babe. Babe please listen to me; I can explain but please come back.” He tried to talk to her making his way as fast as possible, but the doors closed right before he could reach her.

 Once she was out of his sight her shoulders dropped and released all the air she was holding in.

‘What the fuck is going on?’

Even when no one was watching the state of shock took all over her body, she just stared at her distorted reflection with blank eyes. A loud ‘ding’ followed by the doors opening brought her back to reality and she took a step out walking towards the end of the hall. Knowing he will be looking for her outside her only option was to hide somewhere else, luckily two of her friends lived a few floors above. With three knocks at the door she sighed once again and prayed for Akaashi and Bokuto to be home.  A minute later, Bokuto’s tall figure opened the door and greeted her with excitement.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” He asked with a smile.

“Hey, Bokuto, uhm… Can I come in?” she asked trying to hide the urge to cry with a forced smile.

“Sure.” He moved out of the way and let her in “Are you okay though?” He asked once he noticed her unusual mood, before she could answer he called for his roommate “Hey, Akaashi, Y/N is here.”

“Y/N?” Akaashi’s head peaked from the kitchen as he watched her sit on the couch.

“Hi Akaashi, sorry for bothering you guys so late.” She forced another smile at him and waited for the inevitable question.

“Something happened? Where’s Iwaizumi-san?” Akaashi walked towards her.

“Outside.” She answered trying to find a way to explain what just happened. How are you supposed to tell people you just saw your boyfriend fucking another girl on your kitchen counter?

“Outside? What is he doing outside?” This time Bokuto took a few steps closer and crouched in front of her with concern on his eyes.

“He is looking for me, but I don’t want to see him right now.” She explained without looking at the two boys who stood in front of her. Before they could ask anything else, she spoke “I came home, and he was with another girl.”

“What?” Akaashi asked startled, regretting it almost instantly.

She sighed.

“He cheated on me.” Was the only thing she could say before she trembled and started crying, instinctively Bokuto embraced her in his arms and she broke down completely.

“What did I do wrong?” She asked in a whisper.

“You did nothing wrong Y/N, you gave your everything to him, it’s not your fault, it’s on him for taking you for granted.” Bokuto tried to console her, both of them letting her cry for a while knowing she needed to let it all out. 

“I’m gonna kill him.” The gray haired said once she pulled away.

“Bokuto.” Akaashi tried to stop him but he was already at the door.

“Bokuto, please don’t, he is going to know I am here, and you can get in trouble.” She said standing up.

“But he deserves it, Y/N, he made you cry and-”

“And it’s not worth it. Please don’t do anything stupid.” She said and he looked back at her unable to express his anger. It was so unfair for you to feel that way and he wanted nothing else than breaking Hajime’s nose.

“Fine. But if I see him near you, I will beat the shit out of him. We are not going to let him hurt you again.” He said as he walked back to the kitchen.

“Thanks. Can I use your bathroom for a bit?” She asked, looking at Akaashi.

“Sure, I’m making you some tea so you can calm down.” He said following Bokuto. She nodded and entered the bathroom.

She didn’t know what she was looking at. Was it the same person or her reflection was tricking her? She did not recognize herself at all. She felt stupid. For thinking their relationship would last forever, for loving so hard, for sacrificing everything for him and getting a heartbreak in return.

‘What am I supposed to do now? Do I know how to live without him?’ All those questions started to flood her mind all at once, there was no way she was coming back to him. She knew better than everyone that she was strong, but this was different, a different kind of pain, her heart felt heavy and she could barely breathe.

She joined her friends in the kitchen after a few minutes and a call to her sister, they both shared knowing glances as she entered the room, Akaashi finished brewing the tea and poured the beverage for her.

“Do you want to stay the night?” Akaashi asked as he handed the mug.

“Oh no, don’t worry, I just called my sister. I'm staying at her place tonight.” She explained taking a sip from her drink.

“Is she picking you up?” Bokuto asked.

“I’m taking a taxi; she doesn’t live that far from here.”

And so, she did, after she finished the tea Akaashi made and called a taxi. Bokuto made sure Iwaizumi was out of the way so she could leave accompanied by Akaashi who walked her to the car. She thanked him and gave him a hug before she left.

Walking back to his apartment, Akaashi saw Iwaizumi walking frantically inside the building while he talked to someone on the phone.

“Hey, Kaede, right? I don’t know if you remember me, I’m Y/N’s boyfriend.” 

Akaashi’s blood boiled when he heard him but decided to avoid an unnecessary argument that could possibly upset Y/N even more.

“Do you know where she could be by any chance? Oh, wait a second.” He said when he saw Akaashi walking back to the elevator. “Hey, Akaashi!” He called.

The former setter paid no mind to him, trying his best to not turn a round and give him a piece of mind on how he is probably the last person he wants to talk to and how he doesn’t deserve to talk to Y/N ever again until Iwaizumi got a hold of his shoulder and made him turn around.

“Can I help you?” He asked with clear annoyance in his tone.

‘He knows’ Iwaizumi thought. “Where is she?” He asked.

“I think that’s none of your business right now, Iwaizumi-san. She already had enough for the night, and being honest I don’t have a reason to associate with you anymore, so please, don’t come to me or Bokuto, we are not going to help you clean your mess.” Akaashi said, blue eyes piercing deeper than his harsh words, with nothing left to say he made his way to the elevator again.

“You don’t know what you are talking about, Akaashi, please where is she? I need to know if she is okay.”

“Good night, Iwaizumi-san.” With that the elevator doors closed and Hajime found himself alone once again. Feeling the anger building up inside him he cursed himself for being such an asshole. He knew damn well she did nothing wrong, and that angered him even more, he knew he was doing the wrong thing, he couldn’t even find the reason why it all started.

But it was too late and he knew that she won’t go back to him even if he begged, she asked for one thing, the bare minimum, what you expect from a partner; loyalty. And he failed to deliver that. He was fucked and he knew it, but he still had hope that she would at least listen to him. 

(a/n: hey! so uhm, this is my first time posting a hq fic and im really excited about it, i hope all of you enjoy it as much as i enjoy writing it, please excuse my grammar/vocabulary mistakes if you find any. feedback is appreciated. <3 thanks for reading once again)

masterlist

[highstwildflower]

Highly

A/n: this is really long I’m sorry!😂

Words: 2000 ca.

The cloud that erupted from your lips vanished into thin air, reminding you of the man who used to fan the smoke away from his reach. Now the spot next to you was empty, no one was complaining and no one was bugging you about being unhealthy. The thick joint was pressed between your lips once again, sucking the poison into your lungs. The relaxing plant infected your system and everything slowed down. The stars swimming above you dripped into the moon that was filled to the brim. You finished the joint, leaning back with a heart that was aching. Moving around you found the position that allowed your heavy heart some rest, your phone was out of reach and you were too lazy to retrieve it. You wanted to shoot him a text tho, telling him all the words he never got to hear.

Instead you lay there, images burning behind closed eyes. Images of his green forrest eyes that disappeared when his laughter erupted, how you would kill to hear that laugh again. The feeling of  the vibration through his chest as he sung you a new tune. How he used to look at you, eyes searching for inspiration and the look in them the second he found it. Being his muse had been the greatest achievement of your life. Your favorite memory was from the frosty night in December only five moths prior, ditching a party the two of you had ventured off into the night. He had held you close when you arrived at your shared home, bodies moving in sync, the rhythm you fell into in the bed had been steady and slow. Intimate love making till dawn. Your bodies not craving sleep, instead you had moved to the patio. His large body had been pressed firmly against the lounge couch and he had pulled you against him. Limbs draped over each other's and low voices filling the air with words of adoration. The conversation following the flow of the wind, the chilly morning offering you an excuse to snuggle closer to your love. He had happily accepted the closeness, and soon series of laughter had erupted into the slow morning. Just the two of you, bodies pressed together and love flowing freely.

You mind had turned off to the memory of him, and next thing you knew you woke up in your lonely bed. It had never felt so big when Michael had been taking up half of it. The empty room taunting you and the long halls hunting the memories that was made here away. As days fell into night and night turned into days your speckle off hope had vanished. The hope of feeling his body once more, his lips on yours and his voice rumbling against your skins. Instead you tugged away your emotions everyday walking through life as someone else, and only allowing the emotions to take over at night. Most nights your mind raced to the loving memories, but some nights it was the burning memories of pain the pressed into your head.

Dating Michael had been fun and easy, when he asked you to build a home with him you had been ecstatic. Slowly reality dawned on you, the rockstar lifestyle being far away from the life you wished to led. His drinking turned into situations that was hurtful, a large number of girls pressing on. Wishing to enter your relationship, you begging him to change every night when he would stumble through the door.

The last time you saw him stung in the back of your mind. Just mere hours after you had told him that he had to stop with the excessive amount of alcohol and he has kissed you with a promise of doing better. You were fuming when you heard him fumbling with the front door, the creaking of the door setting you completely off. With steam clouding your mind you had entered the entrance and he had shot you a short smile. As he came close the words that left his mouth dragged your breath away, leaving your body defenseless "I though you were out with us? Who was the girl I kissed than?" He carelessly moved through your house towards the bedroom. Tears drawing pathways down your cheeks and hiccups threatening to spill passed your lips. You stayed up all night, waiting for him to sober up. Every minute of the night was spent considering the conversation of tomorrow. When he was clear in his head, he yelled out for you, his words bouncing of the walls. Your fragile body towering over him, and your voice anything but fragile. He was shunned from the house, leaving in a hurry as you yelled out your pain. Months passed where you awaited his next move, silently hoping that he would beg for you to forgive him. Instead you got nothing.  His stuff was still where he left them except from his guitars. And you knew everything but his guitars was replaceable. When Calum had turned up at your door with a sorrowful painted across his face you knew he was there to pick them up. It hurt every time you glanced at the empty room having yet to entered it, dust was covering the corners and slowly tugging the room into a dull forgotten memory.

Your high ponytail was swinging from side to side as you strutted down the sidewalk. The pep in your steps were just a reminded to yourself that you had the power to move on. When you spotted him at your favorite coffee shop, your steps came to a halt. His eyes meet yours long before yours meet his. He saw you and froze. Your smile telling him that you were doing good but your eyes spilling your secret. Awkwardly you walked over to him "hi stranger" your voice was a pitch higher than usual and you mentally scolded yourself for the preppy outburst. His voice was darker than you remembered but the impact of his words stronger than you expected "Hi. How are you?" The concentration on your face told him that you were trying your best to stay cool "I'm good , yeah very good. What about you?" The forced smile made his heart ache and his guards grow weaker. "Im glad you are doing good y/n. Im getting through day by day. 4 months sober yesterday" His voice grew with pride as he told you about his sobriety, and his smile grew even larger as he saw the proud look on your face. Without thinking twice you leaped into his arms, hugging him tightly against yourself "Im so proud of you Micky." Your cheeks grew red as you realized that this wasn't what was normal for you to do anymore. The break up meant that you had to sacrifice being close to him and just watch his life from afar. You knew he was sober, his instagram had told you so. But to hear the words leave his mouth made you ache with pride. When he felt you draw back he pulled you into himself again, not ready to let you slide through his fingers once more. Your smell was filling his nostrils and he wanted to keep you wrapped in his arms forever. When he let go of your body, you stumbled back and took him in. He looked better than ever, more fit and more alive. The silence laid as a blanket making the air hot and thick and just as you were about to say your byes he spoke up "Do you wanna catch up some day? maybe drink a cup of coffee?" you smiled shyly at him, and the fact that he had cheated on you was forgotten, "Yeah I would like that." Just like that you had a date with him, your body felt like yours for the first time in months and the pep in your step were no longer forced.

The knock at your door alerted you that he had arrived. You opened the door and smiled at him a laugh followed shortly behind "Quite weird having you knocking on your own door" he smiled back at you before he spoke "Thats ok, you look absolutely beautiful love" he handed you the flowers in his hand and you felt oddly embarrassed, such gestures never fell naturally to Michael. More a man of words he would praise you, shower you in physical affection but stray away from gifts. The ride in his car was longer than you remembered it, the small drops of sweat that was collecting at Michaels hairline let you know that you weren't alone with the crippling feeling of anxiety that started to form the second you woke up. His hands were both clutched to the steering wheel and as he turned into the coffee shop your stomach turned with anticipation. "I was thinking we could do to go? And then go to our spot?" You smiled at his idea, that he remembered how much you enjoined your spot.

The car came to a halt at the empty parking spot. Michael was quick to climb out of the car and open your door for you. Slowly you made your way towards the spot. Surrounded by nature you felt your breath become easier. The large stones that leaned against each other offered a place to take a seat. He came prepared with a blanket and a packed picking. Like so many times before you took place next to each other, the still warm air clinging to both your bodies as the sun continued it's decent. The ocean reached the stones and splashes were sent into the sky. His legs rested and made contact with the firmness of your other thigh. Slow conversation filled the space between you and drew you closer. Coffee was sipped and sandwiches shared. The sun came into contact with the ocean and Michael dived into the cruel conversation that was awaiting you. His body turned to yours "I'm sorry" his words were low but you heard him, your eyes meet and you signaled for him to go on. He took deep breaths of fresh air, worried that his fragile words wouldn't be enough "I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I've realized that I was so far out of line. All my decisions fell back onto you. And I'm awfully sorry about kissing another woman. You are truly the only one for me. I understand if you aren't interested in being with me ever again, but I've changed y/n. I'm still working on myself, but you are my motivation every single day and I want to make it up to you." You mind was clouded by his words, the mentioning of his infidelity was like salt in wounds but you wanted to give him a chance. "Yeah you sucked" you tried to lighten the mood but you both knew that, that was a light way to put it. You continued while gripping his hand " I want to be with you Mickey. But it is definitely going to be difficult for me to trust you" you smiled a careful smile at him and he moved even closer, desperate to feel you. His hand moved to your face as he silently asked for your permission to press his lips against yours. You nodded your head, eager to feel the movement. The world stood still, birds chirping became louder and the intensity of the small gesture made you dizzy. Michael was right there with you, you soft lips sending him into a feeling of ecstasy.

Silent promise between lovers who had been torn apart filled the now colder air. Sun kissing the ocean and dancing in warm colors. Pulling one another closer, and thinking of each other highly.

[moldisgoodforyou]

you’re my home

“why do i feel like jj would just love all the domestic aspects about being with charlie. like brushing their teeth together at night or watching her fold her clothes into the space he made in his dresser for her or watching her dance around the kitchen making coffee in the morning. like i feel like he would love the sense of home&simplicity he gets from those moments with her that he never got before from anywhere or anyone else”

inspiration from this ask ^ thank you :) this is just a set of little blurbs about what jj and charlie would be like living together! 

wordcount: 2k

____

JJ wasn’t used to living with someone in such an intimate way. Sure, he had shared a dorm room with five other guys his freshman year, a sleeping dorm with way too many guys sophomore and junior year, and had the perk of a single bedroom in the frat house his senior year - but it wasn’t quite living alone. Living with John B in the summers wasn’t exactly the grown-up life he had envisioned as a kid, then after graduation, he moved into a pseudo-frat house with seven guys. The house was a constant mess and just plain chaotic, but it felt right - he didn’t think he was quite old enough to retire from the college lifestyle. 

Once he got his job out in California, he moved in with Charlie and was quickly thrown into a world of home decor (apparently a hobby of hers he had never noticed). Lucky for her, he liked being handy and was able to help build a couple shelves and such and save a little money. 

At first, they danced around each other a little. They made the abrupt switch from not seeing each other for months to living together in a matter of days, and it was an awkward exchange of being open about finances and squeezing past each other in the tiny bathroom to brush their teeth. But soon they found a groove, and JJ grew to love the pattern. 

Though he would never, ever admit it, JJ was a romantic at heart. He insisted on music during dinner (“it sets the right ambience, Charlie”) and it always depended on his mood, carefully curated for the day.  

After fumbling their way through a dinner recipe together, neither of them being skilled in the kitchen, Charlie insisted on starting on the dishes right away. “I don’t get why we have to do this instantly.” JJ complained, bumping his hip against hers. Charlie shook her head, handing him a dishtowel. “We’re trying to start a routine here. My parents always did it this way and it worked, so.” 

“At my house we just used paper plates and threw them away. Or piled up the dishes for a few weeks and then finally scraped off the food.” JJ reasoned. Charlie just shot him a skeptical look, turning on the faucet. “JJ, I say this in the nicest way possible, but maybe we shouldn’t model our lifestyle after your childhood.” He laughed. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right.” 

After a few dishes, he grew bored and swatted her butt with the towel, making her yelp. “Can we finish?” She asked, giving him an exasperated smile. JJ reached over and shut off the faucet, taking her hands as Love You For A Long Time by Maggie Rogers drifted through his phone speaker. “No, c’mere. We have a dishwasher for a reason.” 

He pulled her away from the sink, roping her into a waltz with a goofy grin. “J.” Charlie protested, but let him lead her into a twirl. “Hush, pretty girl, I’m busy dancing.” He replied, pulling her close. Charlie didn’t hesitate to rest her head on his chest, swaying in a steady circle with him. This became a regular occurrence - she always objected at first, trying to finish cleaning a few more things, but then gave in to his embrace. 

_

JJ also learned there was nothing better than coming home to his person. Their work schedules varied, but most days Charlie was home first if she wasn’t working an athletics event. If he had a bad day, she could usually tell just by the way his texts were short and to the point. One time, after a botched client meeting, he came home and dropped his bag by the door, not bothering to say anything to her as she sat on the couch. 

“Hi to you too.” Charlie teased, following him into the kitchen. “Hey.” He acknowledged, grabbing a bag of chips from the pantry and pouring some onto a plate. “Long day?” She murmured, wrapping her arms around him from behind. He softened, turning so he could rest his chin on the top of her head, replicating the embrace. It was the sort of hug you could melt into, knowing you were safe in someone’s arms. “Love you.” He murmured, closing his eyes. She hugged him for a beat longer, then lifted her head to catch his lips. “Love you too, J.” 

_

JJ grew into the habit of waking up before Charlie, partly because he was incapable of sleeping in on the west coast and partly because she was so damn cute when she slept. He learned to cook the basics for her, and always made sure she had a cup of coffee and some toast with scrambled eggs at the very least. (Pancakes were reserved for special occasions.) The first time he did it, he woke up her with barely enough time to get ready and eat. She was caught off guard and tried to show her appreciation, but had to do her makeup in the car that day. After, he learned to wake her up enough in advance. 

The one time he overslept, he felt a weight on his conscience when he woke up to see Charlie already gone. She had to be at work early, but he had the day off, and they had stayed up til 3am last night after mutual agreements of ‘just one more episode.’ He woke up at 10am to a couple texts from her - snoozing in? and not gonna lie I’m hungry lol and immediately felt guilty. 

He dragged himself out of bed, tugged on clothes and shoes, and drove down to their favorite coffee shop by their apartment, then straight to the UC Berkeley campus. JJ parked out front of her office and texted her, leaning up against the car. Charlie came out five minutes later, confused. “What are you doing here, isn’t it your day off?” 

JJ held up a coffee and to-go bag with her favorite bagel flavor (that he had to practically beg the baker to make, since they were out). “You said you were hungry.” Charlie grinned, greeting him with a kiss. “You didn’t have to do this, hon, thank you.” He shrugged but filled with pride, knowing he was able to take care of his girl. 

_ 

One day in December, Charlie came home in a bad mood. She let the front door slam shut behind her and barely acknowledged JJ in the kitchen before storming off to the bedroom, flopping down onto the bed with a dramatic sigh. Frowning, JJ stopped his cooking and followed her in moments later. “What’s wrong, did I do something?” 

“No, you’re perfect.” She mumbled into the pillows. He paused before hesitantly reaching out to rub her back, unsure if she was being sarcastic. “Talk to me, pretty girl.” He was surprised to see a few tears welling up in her eyes as she lifted her head and curled into his side, resting an arm across his waist. “We got the bowl schedules today. I’ll be gone for two and a half whole weeks, including Christmas.” 

“Oh.” He murmured before falling silent. With Charlie’s job as an athletic trainer with the football team at UC Berkeley, they had known she’d have to travel for post-season, but he never considered her having to be gone for so long. “Well, I’ll just buy a ticket, and I’ll come visit you on Christmas.” 

She sniffled pathetically. “No, you have your tradition with the Pogues. You haven’t seen them in so long. And I’ll be so busy with work, I’ll hardly see you anyways.” Charlie sighed, a small pout on her lips. “My mom is gonna kill me.” 

JJ frowned and pressed a kiss to her forehead before running a thumb over her lips. “How about...I go back to the Outer Banks, but I go to your place for Christmas dinner? I’ll check in on your family and everything. And then when you’re back, we can go home again or we can have Christmas with just us. Your choice.” 

She lifted her head, biting her lower lip now to try not to cry more than she already had that day. “Really? You’d do that for me?” He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her sweetly. “Of course. I know it’s important to you.” That was enough to break the seal and a few stray tears fell down her cheeks as she buried her face in the crook of his neck again. “God, I love you.” He laughed softly and continued to rub her back soothingly. “Love you too, sweetheart.” 

_ 

In the days leading up to her departure, he kept stealing extra glances at her as they went through the little motions of everyday life. Sure, they had been apart for nearly six months when they did long-distance, but now that they were back to seeing each other every day again, he wasn’t sure how he’d handle being alone. (He even picked up a habit of flossing just so he had another excuse to linger around her more as she did her makeup in the mornings.) 

Before she left, he tucked little notes in the pockets of her suitcase and backpack, strategically hidden so she wouldn’t find them all at once. Once she was gone, he found himself texting her more than usual - just to check in - until she eventually had to tell him that no, she was not dead in a ditch somewhere just because she didn’t reply to his text within ten minutes. 

At first he had fun with being alone in the apartment. He could do whatever he wanted and had some guy friends over, ordering pizza and played video games with the volume all the way up, kicking their feet up on the coffee table. But after a few days, he felt guilty that the dishes piled up in the sink and his shoes were left haphazardly by the door, so he made a point to tidy up - and proudly showed Charlie how clean the apartment was over Facetime that night. 

He hated every bit of her being gone. He hated the empty side of the bed (so he slept with her pillow), he hated how quiet the apartment was, he even hated that the bathroom counter didn’t have her usual makeup and flat iron scattered across it. JJ had never been more excited to go home to the Outer Banks - not just to see the Pogues, but to see what he considered his second family too. He watched the football game at her parent’s house and had never been more excited to see her on the sidelines, even if it was only for a split second as the camera panned across. 

When Charlie finally returned to Berkeley, JJ picked her up from the airport with a bouquet of flowers and the biggest grin on his face as she dropped her bags to jump into his arms. He hardly let her go a second without touching her, keeping his arm around her shoulders as they walked to the car and his hand on her thigh the whole ride home. He didn’t realize how much he missed her like hell until they were finally together again. 

When they walked into the apartment together, he pulled her into another warm embrace, arms wrapped tightly around her and his face tucked into her hair. “My home is back.” He murmured. 

She pulled back just enough to catch his lips in a kiss, grinning. “What do you mean? You’re in your home.” 

He shook his head, grinning back. “It’s not home when you’re not in it.” 

[hiding-bliss]

Emotions - Sims 4 Challenge

This challenge is a whimsy challenge. Filled with chaos, excitement, and emotions, you will never be bored. Basically. (Idk, don't quote me on that)

RULES:

1. No mods that could effect your performance of the challenge 2. CC and MCC are aloud 3. The only way to lose the challenge is your gen dying without completing the qualifications 4. No bringing Sims back to life in any way 5. Life span must be on normal unless gen rules say otherwise 6. This challenge uses all packs, if you do not have the ability to complete a gen because of your lack of packs, you have my permission to override it ;) 7. HAVE FUN. now.

NOTE

For the child aspirations, you do not have to complete them!!

GEN 1 - Happiness

You were born into this world with no care in the world, and are a little naïve. You grew up with positive, loving parents, and feel that positivity is something everybody needs. You're the type of person who walks around feeling bubbly and pumped all the time. All you want to do in life is spread your joy, and bring everyone you can with you.

Complete Aspiration: Big happy family Aspiration as a child (do not have to complete): Social Butterfly

Your sim has the traits: Cheerful, Childish, Family Oriented

Trait as a toddler: Silly

Max out the career of: Education

Max out the skills of: Parenting and Charisma

- Have three toddlers at the same time (if you need to temporarily move your sims lifespan to long for this, you can) - Have next gen kids visit every Saturday - Read your child to sleep every night - The only way to have fun is watching kids TV or playing with kids toys - In retirement have this gen have 4 pets. Two cats, two dogs. (they can be un-played)

GEN 2 - Sadness

You had the best childhood anyone could ever ask for, but always seemed to be down, and overall negative. You like a lot of things, but have never really loved anything. You don't really know what you want to do in life, and even though being raised in a house where you always have a plan, you have none, and that's the way you like it. All you know is that you're an emotional, creative, mess.

Complete the Aspiration: Bestselling author Aspiration as a child: Artistic Prodigy

Have the traits: Gloomy, Clumsy, Loner Trait as a toddler: Independent

Max out the career: Writer

Max out the skills: Writing and an instrument of your choice

- Have at least two failed relationships           - Have the first relationship fail because they cheated on you           - Have the second fail because you cheated on them - Have main next gen from random hookup - Have four children overall - Get into at least 3 fights with your spouse in your lifetime - Write in journal everyday as a kid - Age up with uncontrolled emotions

GEN 3 - Disgust

You grew up with a parent who was afraid to voice her opinions, and a father who made your life extremely easy. In result of this, you live your life comforted by money, being posh, and insensitive. All you did as a kid was argue until you got your way. But then as a young adult you're dumped in the city with zero simoleons, and all you want is your old life back.

Complete the Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy Aspiration as a child: Social Butterfly

Have the traits: Self-Assured, Ambitious, Snob Trait as a toddler: Charmer

Max out the career: Law

Max out the skills: Gourmet Cooking and Violin

- Move to San Myshuno with zero simoleons as a young adult - Have all A's as a child - Age up with good manners - Age up with insensitive trait - Don't get married until career maxed out - Only have one child - Become best friends with the grim reaper - Make a club where you argue every week

GEN 4 - Fear

You grew up with a parent who was a little rough around the edges, and tried to get you into the lavish lifestyle, but you just weren't for it. You don't like to argue with people, and want to keep the peace. You're the type of person who's scared of what's around the corner, whether it's violence, or other people. You never voice your emotions, save for when you're painting.

Complete the Aspiration: Painter Extraordinaire Aspiration as a child: Artistic Prodigy

Have the traits: Creative, Squeamish, Paranoid Trait as a toddler: Angelic

Max out the career: Painter

Max out the skills: Painting and Wellness

- Never break up with anyone (to end a relationship, kill them or make them break up with you) - Leave someone at the altar as a young adult - Age up with the mediator trait - Age up with the polite trait - Have one argument with your best friend - Paint a painting in the mood of previous gens (as close as you can get) - Get married to two people (have the first marriage divorce you) - Live in a tiny house for all of young adult life (mid tier)

GEN 5 - Surprise

You grew up with a simple, loving lifestyle, and all throughout your childhood you were just kind of... bored. The only thing you ever enjoyed was food. You don't like the idea of settling down, all you want to do is explore the city, and lead a pointless, reckless, life.

Complete the Aspiration: City Native Aspiration as a child: Rambunctious Scamp

Have the traits: Non-committal, Foodie, Adventurous  Trait as a toddler: Wild

Max out the career: Food critic

Max out the skills: Cooking, Dancing, Mixology

Get to level 5 of: Bowling and Singing

- Go half way into the food critic career before owning your own restaurant - Sell restaurant once adult - Go back to level 5 of food critic as adult (you may use cheats for this) - Have one boy and one girl (you may use cheats for this) - Cook dinner for your family every night - Age up with no bonus traits - Get married as an elder - Live in every district of the city - Have six cats

GEN 6 - Pride

Your mother always taught you to have fun and be confident... but eventually you became a little lazy and too confident. You know this, but don't know how to fix it. You decide to lose all the fun, go to university, and be a doctor. Maybe you'll lose your arrogance if you're good at something?

Complete the Aspiration: Academic Aspiration as a child: Rambunctious Scamp

Have the traits: Goofball, Lazy, Ambitious, and Self-Absorbed Trait as a toddler: Independent

Max out the career: Doctor

Max out the skills: Knitting and Robotics

- Have D's as a kid - Go to park every other day as child - Host at least three parties at your home as a teen - Go to Uni for biology - Go into florist career as an elder - Have the lazy trait has a teen, trade it out for ambitious as a young adult - Max out knitting as an adult/elder - Drink milk every day

GEN 7 - Shame

At school, kids would always tease you for your mom being rude and rich. In your childhood, the only happiness you found was with video games. You were always ashamed of yourself, and the way you lived, and could never find good people that didn't judge you. Once you move out, all you're looking for is someone who can finally understand you, and to lead a simple life in the country where you can play games to your hearts content.

Complete the Aspiration: Soulmate Aspiration as a child: Whiz Kid

Have the traits: Genius, Geek, and Lazy Trait as a toddler: Clingy

Max out the career: E-Sports Competitor

Max out the skills: Media production, Programming, and Video Gaming

- Live in Brindleton Bay from young adult to elder - Age up with polite trait - Age up with emotional control trait - Play games after school everyday - Never have any friends until young adult - Meet all your friends online (from work) - Only ever have one relationship (the one you die with) - Get cancelled for having your spouse cheat on you (story flipped)

GEN 8 - Embarrassment

As a child, your parents were always loving and "with the kids". Your life is everything you've dreamed of until your mom gets cancelled and your parents split. Once they've split and you've moved to a whole new world, you bury yourself in music and books. But in the end, all you want in life is to move on, and pretend like you're something you're not.

Complete the Aspiration: Master Actor/Actress Aspiration as a kid: Social Butterfly

Have the traits: Outgoing, Music Lover, Bookworm Trait as a toddler: Clingy

Max out the career: Actor/Actress

Max out the skills: Acting, all toddler skills, and get to level 8 of 3 skills of your choice

- Age up with the responsible trait - Have three different part time jobs - Have a part time job while in the actor career (tiers 1-3) - Never be broken up with - Have three children - Have all your children enrolled in drama club - Never pass level 3 in parenting - Say something to someone from a different category every day - Have your number leaked (you may use cheats) - Move to a new world as a child/teen

GEN 9 - Excitement

Your mother was always embarrassed due to her past, and in so never really talked to anyone. You've grown up in the spotlight and find it exciting, but don't think you want to be in it forever. Your life was always fun and exciting, and once you move out that's all you want, light-heartedness and fun. You’re a messy, private, jokester.

Complete the Aspiration: Joke Star Aspiration as a child: Rambunctious Scamp

Have the traits: Goofball, Slob, Un-flirty

Trait as a toddler: Charmer

Max out the Career/Branch: Entertainer/Comedy

Max out the skills: Comedy and Mischief

- Spontaneously adopt a child (next heir) - Never get married - Never have a fight - Never move - Have a party every week - In your final house, have a full-on stage to practice comedy - Age up with the in-polite trait - Witness three deaths (you may use cheats, or make them your own)

GEN 10 - Anger

Your parents always tried to make you laugh as a kid, but every hint of laughter just made you more angry. You're naturally angry, and don't care. All you care about is your career, and not how other people see you. You're a little emotional and stubborn, but who isn't?

Complete the Aspiration: Public Enemy Aspiration as a child: Whiz Kid

Have the traits: Hates Children, Evil, Ambitious Trait as a toddler: Fussy

Max out the career: Criminal

- Age up with 3 negative traits (parenthood) - Kill 5 sims from your work (you may do this in any way, whether through violence mods or MCC)  - Go to work for one day in Law Enforcement - Get in a fight at every place you go - Have six enemies - Each time you age up, invite someone over just to fight them (for toddler, child, you may just do a mean interaction)  - Don't have any kids - Die from someone poisoning you - Go to your local park every week to yell at kids

[mysecretatticsstuff]

Pranks

Pairing : Jeon jungkook x reader

Word count: 27.3k

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, emotional breakdown.

Summary: You thought you were going to enjoy college. Even with unfortunate events and a poor sleep schedule you were trying to live your best life. Untill one particular kid, aka golden boy of campus came dashing into your life.

College. The place you got excited to go thinking you would finally meet good people, make friends and have the time of your life. And yet here you are, 3 am in the morning just barely hanging in there with a paint brush in your hand finishing up the poster that was supposed to be a group project for physiology class. You have dozed off a couple of times now, with eyes open doing the detailed line work that you suggested not to put in it because of the amount of time it takes. You almost messed it up but your multitasking skills save you. In short you hate college. Or more so, you hate your luck for always putting you in the companionship of the worst people in the world. You can now permanently stamp a "pissed off" warning to your forehead to avoid casualties.

Grumpy wasn't even a mood anymore, it's a lifestyle. And some people just make it real difficult for you to not eat them alive. On top of that list was Mr. Jeon Jungkook. Golden boy, good at whatever he does, loved by everyone he has a conversation with. Well except for you. You on the other hand want to kill him. Not because you're jealous or anything. Heck you would be happy for him if he didn't make your life a living hell. You always wondered what you did for him to hate your existence so much. He kept pulling off weird ass stunts with you. Once he filled your water bottle with chilli tomato ketchup, you took a gulp without knowing and had a red face for a legit hour. Another time he issued the last copy of only book that had the reference you needed and kept it untill a day before the assignment was due. So you had to beg him to give the book to you and complete the whole assignment in one day. (Which was not fun of course). He mixed salt in your drink, splashed water from behind while you were returning to your apartment and what not. At first you thought to ignore him, when the stunts were small. But he just kept doing that shit and you grew angrier. When you asked him, why the heck was he doing that to you he just simply smiled like a devil, winked at you and walked away. That was a year ago, since that day you have been wanting to kill him.

You weren't the aggressive type by nature, your friends would agree that you were the most calm and collected, amiable and open minded friend in the group. Your personality was more of a mediator than a murderer. But the golden boy brought out the beast in you. When you realised that he isn't stopping with the obnoxious pranks. You started pulling off your own as a revenge. To be honest you didn't even regret it. Heck it was even cathartic. Once you hid his clothes while he was in the gym, so basically he had to wait inside the bathroom for the whole day in a towel. (You took his phone too so that he couldn't call anyone for help). You "accidentally" splashed juice onto his crisp white t-shirt before an early morning class. You wrapped his bike with cling film and bubble wrap. It was tiring but worth it when you saw his face, glaring daggers at you cause he was getting late for class and couldn't leave his apartment. You made sure you smiled sweetly at him when he saw you that day.

By now, everyone in your friend circle and both of your departments knew how you both jumped at the first opportunity to ruin each others day. You stopped questioning Jungkook because he never answered instead you focused on how to attack him in the best way.

The past two months have been extra rough for you, both personally and academic wise. Hence, jungkook's bickering has had you in a new level of pissed. A level you didn't know existed. Honestly you were amazed by the fact that you haven't had a breakdown till now. You didn't get any chance to pull anything off against him and that makes you angrier. I guy you were talking to back and forth has suddenly ghosted you and you are wallowing in all the self pity. You've had less than 4 hours of sleep for the past week because of all the requirements for class. You're just a week away from finishing everything off and you're praying that the devil doesn't make it impossible.

You personally hated Mondays, but who are you kidding everyday feels like a monday now. You head to the library first thing in the morning to finish your paper, a semester worth of work. You settle in starting to type out the last page. About an hour later your phone vibrates.

"Hey where are you?" It was Sunmi your best friend.

"I'm in the library" you wisper shout

"Oh.. i had something urgent to say to you can you come out for a second. I'm almost there."

"Okay, coming" you say.

Outside, sunmi was waiting for you with a book in hand.

"Jeez, y/n you look dead. Do you even sleep anymore?"

You sigh out loud, "Don't ask, i feel like i'm gonna pass out anytime soon. Coffee isn't helping anymore. I think i need drugs"

Sunmi just shakes her head in disbelief "What you need is a good night sleep. And for the drugs part, try sex." She says this in such sincerity that you actually consider it for a second before she laughs.

You laugh too, "Uggh, i can't wait to finally go out this weekend, i'm turning into a hermit. Anyways i'm sure u didn't call me out here to talk about hookups..?"

At this she hands you the book, "Yeah I didn't, but we need to talk about your dry state after you're free tho, but till then here you go. The book that you were searching for, you wouldn't believe how I.. or i should say where I found it I-... "

"Wait... Before you start your essay, i need to finish my paper. I meet you after your classes today. Tell me then. I need to go... Bye!" you hurriedly say before you turn around and enter the library

"But it's about Jungkook... " Sunmi tries to explain. But she realises you can't hear her anymore. She says to herself rather, "I hope you don't find trouble."

You almost reach your designated place when you see him. White T-Shirt and olive green cargos. That little shit, what was he up to again? You hurry to your laptop, only to find him smirking as if he knows some secret you don't.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" You ask. "Ooh.. chill Princess, just thought i'd see you and your work". At the mention of work you wake your computer up. A chill ran down through your spine followed by panic when you couldn't find the document you saved. After a moment, your eyes shot up, glaring dangerously at him. He sat up, folding his arms onto the table. "What's wrong? Can't find something?"

"What the fuck did you do, Jeon?" You wanted to scream bloody murder at him, but you didn't know how were you this calm.

"Tsk, tsk,.. last names now huh? Someone's angry. Tell me princess, will I win a prank of the year trophy this time?"

You were unable to speak. Your blood boiled, you wanted to punch him, better kill him. When you didn't reply he continued. "I hope you remember what your wrote in your thesis, even better if your typing skills are on fire, cause you need to rewrite within one week" He was putting a full display of his evil grin. Clearly amused by the situation he put you in. But you slowly realised what he meant. You quickly went to the recycle bin of your computer to test your luck, but soon saw that the demon had already deleted it from the bin too. Your heart sank. This was not fair. You wanted to cry now. Months and months of your hardwork, gone now. What the fuck was that bitch even thinking. This was not a joke anymore. It was your finals. Yes you both have done horrible things to each other but you made sure that it never got out of line. But him deleting your final thesis. This was definitely out of the line. You could not rewrite the whole thing even if you tried in a week. It would never get close to the original one. You would miss many points and the writing style. Damn you for not keeping an extra copy of the thesis somewhere. But again, you never thought Jungkook would go this low. You didn't even want to think how he figured out the passcode for your laptop. Anger doesn't describe what you were feeling now. You wanted to shut down. When Jungkook didn't hear a threatening or a curse, he chimed in. "Have I pulled the most epic prank on miss y/n that it finally shut her smart mouth?"

You couldn't bare it anymore, all these weeks of running around with just 4 hrs of sleep or sometimes non has made you physically weak. You wanted to escape. You throat hurt from the suppressed tears. But you were not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. You look at jungkook in the eye. Cold. You stand up, take your things and leave.

All the way to your apartment, you wanted to cry, but you waited till you were inside the safe heaven of your bed.How could he do this to you? When this crazy prank scenario started you couldn't comprehend why the nicest guy ( according to students and professors) had taken a toll on you. Yes you were angry at the beginning. But soon it had simmered down to something else. You couldn't pin point what, exactly. It's true his pranks were delirious and you hated him with all your will, but you couldn't help notice the small ways he made a difference in your life. You were an over-thinker, and this stupid game of pranks with him kept you busy. It was kind of the only source of entertainment for you as academics was no joke. It's difficult to explain but you became more productive because of him. You became a more open person, you made a lot of friends and most of the conversations started with how people don't understand why both of yo fight. Jungkook's friends became your friends too. You found out a lot of things about him through them. One that he was a naturally competitive person. He was a big softy inside they said, that was a bit hard to believe for you. But once he stood up for you when you were being cat called, he was so close to beating the shit out of the boys, nevertheless you dragged him out of it. He walked you to your apartment without even uttering a word. You wanted to say thank you, but the very next day he deflated your tires. And the saga continued. The moral of the story is you definitely had developed a soft spot for him. And this prank was definitely a blow to your ego and your heart.

All the emotions, the exhaustion just came crashing down and you let the dam break. You cried like a baby, whether because of the grief of your lost files, anger or because of him entirely you didn't know. You woke up 3 hours later, with puffy eyes and a blocked nose. You decided you can't let him get to you. So you did what you do best, turn all the frustration into anger towards him. You arranged all the resources for your thesis, and then you sat down with your laptop typing away from the beginning.

You didn't go to college next day, thought it would be better to stay at home and work. There were no classes anyways. You already sent an email to your professor informing him that there was a technical difficulty and you lost your files. Your professor was kind enough to excuse you from all the classes that week to work on your thesis stating that you had good attendance already. Sunmi called you, she felt guilty about the whole thing. "I should have known there was something fishy when that asshole gave me the book. I shouldn't have asked you to come out".

"Hey, it's fine, it's not your fault. I'll kill him with my own hands once everything is over"

"Still.. i feel super bad. Let me know if you need anything. I can bring you books from the library.."

"Thank you sun, i'll let you know if I need anything.. "

"Okay.... Oh and y/n,.. Jungkook came looking for you today. He seemed anxious? kinda worried even. I told that fucker i don't know where you are. Thought you should know"

Jungkook was looking around for you, that's weird. Was he feeling guilty? You always came up with a new prank. Maybe he is just surprised you vanished. "Hmmm... Thanks, i don't want him to know anything about me, Anyways i couldn't careless about him now. See you later".

"Take care y/n".

It was 10 pm when you stood up from your desk, your shoulders and wrists were stiff from all the typing. You realised you hadn't eaten anything for 7 hours now. It was raining heavily, you felt a bit dizzy. When you finally get out of college, this would be a hell of a story to tell though. You missed home dearly, you wanted someone to just hold you and assure you that everything is going to be okay. You took some leftover pizza from your fridge and put it in the microwave. Sometimes living alone just gets to you. All the loneliness, all the times you wished someone was there to comfort you. Your body ached and you felt pathetic about yourself. 'Why me?' was your question. A mixture of all these thoughts and emotions were swirling in your head and you didn't even realize that you were crying now. This was your 3rd breakdown in a span of two days.

"Pathetic" you muttered to yourself. Then your heard the bell ring. Confused at who came by at this ungodly hour, you wiped your tears and went to get the door.

You didn't expect the person you were staring at. Doe eyes slowly scanned you, from your feet to face. Jungkook.

You must have puffy red eyes, you think. God you didn't want him to see you like this. All petty and defeated. He was partially soaked from the rain. Jungkook just stood there, staring back at you. You waited for him to speak, when he didn't, you finally spoke, "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't see you in college today" he replied. Jungkook looked guilty? Sad even. "Why didn't you attend?" He asks next.

"That's non of your business" that came out harsher than you thought. At this his face turned stern. "Were you crying?"

At this point you don't know what or when will you break down. You could already feel a little lump forming in your throat. You looked down at your feet. "Go away, i have work". That came out so fragile and weak, you cringed internally. He stepped in. Searched around in his pocket and brought out a small USB in his hand. You looked at it and then his face.

"Your files" he said.

"You... why would you even... What the fuck? Jungkook!" With every word your voice rose. You thought he was feeling guilty, but he was just a little brat, playing games. All your softness was gone now.

You could tell by his devilish smirk that he was enjoying this way too much. "Who do you think you are?" You saw red with anger. With that much of a volcano boiling inside you, you were not sure what were you doing. Your hand flew up involuntarily. Lets just say, you would have punched him if it wasn't for his quick reflexes. He grabbed your wrist, turned you around. His other arm swiftly snaked around your waist.

"Woah.. easy princess. You sure you can fight me?" He tightens his grip around you. You hate to admit how badly it affects you. You can feel your knees going weak. His taught chest pressed against your back. You can feel him way too much through your thin t shirt. Your face heats up without you wanting it. No, no, no, no, you can't let your stupid hormones get to you. This is crazy. You hate him. Then why do you suddenly feel hot? As if on cue he lowers his head and whispers in your ear, " You okay, sweetheart?"

The new pet name, sends a spike of electricity just between your legs. You bite your lip to control the moan that threatens to leave your mouth. He notices the change too, the tension between you two is growing. You turn around to face him. He lets you. "I hate you."

His arms are still around you, circling your waist. He looks soft, as if relieved of some burden. Your clothes are getting wet from the contact. You don't know what to say, because you can hardly process what is happening. Just then your microwave beeps to your rescue.

You half jump half stumble away from him. "Uggh, i'll bring you a towel. Be right back."

When you return, he is standing in front of the couch. Looking godly. You sneak a glance at his chest and now hardened nipples before landing your eyes on his face. You hand him the towel. As if a half soaked jungkook wasn't enough. He swifty stripped off his t-shirt before drying himself off. You freeze. He looks at you gaze piercing.

"W- why.. did you do that?"

"You need to be a bit more specific sweetheart" he takes a step closer to you. You don't move away.

"The pranks.. why do you hate me so much, that you need to make my life a living hell?" You said softly.

"Helps me sleep at night." He smirks. You rolled your eyes at this. You were about to turn around when he grabs you by hand.

"I don't hate you. It's quite the opposite actually" Your eyebrows shot up at this. "yeah right. You think you can fool me again?" You scoff.

"I know you're a fool sometimes, but to be honest y/n I didn't know you were this dense" He mocked with a smirk.

"What the fuck? Okay that's it. Get out of my house Jeon" you demanded.

"What if I say no, Princess?"

You couldn't believe it. This guy has the audacity to mock you in your own house and then refuse to leave. You were beyond irritated now.

"How do people like you? You're such an ass. Leave before-..." you didn't get to complete the sentence before he pulls you towards him, with such force that you stumble, loose your balance and fall straight on his chest.

HIS BARE CHEST. GOD THIS WAS BAD. You felt your throat getting dry. You couldn't speak. He was firm, you kind of wonder about how much he works out. You could feel his silky smooth skin. You just stared at him, like a deer caught in headlights.

"That's it? You're not gonna 'make me' leave princess?" He says, with his face inches away from you.

*Pull it together y/n* you scold yourself mentally. But you body just froze and it feels hot. You probably have a red face now. You make another mistake of glancing at his lips, which are so damn close, it kinda makes you feel things you can't explain.

Jungkook notices this. He sees right through you. He finally speaks, "If you still haven't got it y/n, i don't know what to do with you... I... " He sighs, "I like you y/n. A lot. And I don't know how to behave when i'm around you, so I keep teasing you.." he says with a sincere look. "And besides.. you look hot, when you are angry at me" He smiles.

You realise you're still holding each other. Your heart is hammering in your chest. He probably can feel it beating too. You want to punch him for being such a jerk, but you also want to kiss him. You're so frustrated, at this point you don't know where the courage came from for what you did next. You kiss him. Out of all the things this was something he did not expect. This time he froze, hands paralyzed at your hips. When he finally came to his senses that it was really happening, he kissed back.

You snake your arms around his neck, pulling his hair into a fist. He lets out a small moan. You pull back, smirking. "No snarky comments now huh Jeon?" you mock, satisfied with his look. His face is flushed. You can feel his member slowly growing. He took some time to overcome his initial shock. Then he said, "No shit.. I'm.. God you're hot" And he is kissing you again. More in control this time. You part your lips to let him enter. His hands cup your face. Your kiss gets heated, one of his hands goes down, between your breasts, to your stomach. Then he waits, as if asking for permission.

"What now?" You say in between your kisses. "No guts for that?" You challenge him. And this time he actually has nothing to say. So you smirk, you take his hand and slowly slip him under your t-shirt.

"Shit". He mutters. He touches your skin, you feel like you're on fire. Goosebumps form all over your body. You feel alive.

The next thing he did left you speechless. He slips both hand under your t-shirt and with one go pulls off your shirt and throws it behind you. You gawk at him in suprise. You can tell he liked the way you reacted because his eyes went dark and he looked at you like he wanted to take you right there. "Jeez Jeon.. give the girl a break" with this you latched on him again. He stumbled back and landed on the couch. Seeing the opportunity, you climb on him, Keeping your weight on your knees, you hover just above his member. You know he wants you to sit on him, but you don't want to give him the satisfaction.

"I think I need to mess with her assignments more often" saying more to himself than to you. "Specially if it leads to this" he stands up keeping you close.

" I heard that you idiot" you were now feverishly unbuckling his pants. He moved his lips to suck you down your jawline, he made sure to nib and suck a bit harder right above your pulse point.

You let out a moan. Your hands are shaking but you somehow manage to undo his pants.

You feel really hot. You were about to pull his pants down when he holds both of your wrists. You freeze, your mind racing at 100 miles per hour. Did you do something wrong? Are you crossing your line? Did he not want this and you took it otherwise? God this is embarrassing.

You eyes were still wide when he said, "I'm not messing around this time y/n. I really do like you" he looks so very sincere that he moves some part of you. But you decided that you ain't gonna let him go so easily.

"I had three mental breakdowns since yesterday". You shot back. At this his eyes turned sad. Like he was really feeling guilty. You felt bad for him now, wondering if it was too harsh.

"I never wanted that, I thought you would argue with me and at the end of it i'd give you the usb, but you looked so angry, and when u left without saying a word I knew i had fucked up. Big time."

You backed off, hands crossed in front of your chest.

Jungkook knew you were angry. But he couldn't deny that he was beyond turned on by this site, you just in your bra and shorts, angry at him. You didn't know how hard he was trying not to turn you around bend you over your desk and fuck you silly.

You noticed that he visibly gulped, he was eyeing you like a prey. But he waited, because you were angry. He wanted to do this right.

"And all this time I kept wondering what wrong did I do to you. I hate you, you know that Jeon?...

"Baby, i'm sorry" he purred stepping closer.

A new surge of arousal hit you at this. "D.. Don't baby me..." The stuttering gave you out. He smirked liked a devil. He closed the gap between the two of you. He hovered above your lips, "forgive me please" he said just an inch away from your lips.

"Kiss me please" you said, not being able to process anything. And he did, he kissed you like there was no tomorrow. Strong and urgent. He cupped your ass and gave a tight squeeze. You let out a moan.

"Do you want to take it to the bedroom?" He asked voice an octave deeper.

You nodded, not trusting your mouth. He lifted you and you wrapped your legs around him. His body was divine, his skin was smooth, heat radiated from him although he was soaked before, lips not sparring you even one 1 second. You could feel his hard on, on your stomach and it felt powerful that you can do such things to him.

"God i've been dreaming about this for so long"

"How long, jeon?" You asked stripping him off his pants and underwear.

"From the moment you debated with your proffessor about a theory in front of your department. I watched you prove your points to him, and i swear to god I had a hard on since. I had to run to the bathroom to give myself some relief " he chuckles at the memory.

"Nerd" Fully naked now, you stare at his body.

"Damn, why are you so hot. This is not fair"

He looked at you. "I see you haven't gotten rid of your clothes yet y/n.. i would like to watch baby"

So you stripped, putting up a show for him. He grabbed you when you were about to take off you panties. He turned you around, pushed you onto the wall, you balanced yourself onto the wall.

"You're gorgeous." He said before slipping his large hand in your panties and cupping your entire sex. He then hurriedly took your panties off. He pressed himself on your behind and you whimpered. He fondled your breasts with one hand and the other slowly slid towards your dripping core.

He kept touching you there, in slow tantilizing movements. You squirmed. He teased you more, knowing you needed some pressure on your clit. He avoided it the most. You were growing anxious.

"Juuunngkook... Please" you draged each syllable.

"What's wrong?" He was enjoying this way too much you could tell.

"I think I deserve being worshipped after what you make me go through kook". You stated with eyes screwed shut.

"Okay, that's fair". At this he dipped one finger inside, testing if you could take him. He gasped at the warmth and the slick that now covered his fingers. He started slow at first, drawing out low moans from you. Then without alarm he added one more digit and started pistoning in and out. You arched your back with pleasure. You were so aroused, and mixed up with your pent up stress and frustration you could already feel something heavy settling at your lower belly, tightening inch by inch.

"Kook... I'm gonna... Cum". You said between grunts.

"You're doing so good baby, cum on my fingers"

You found your release at his praise. Pleasure coursing through your veins with lightening speed. Mid orgasm Jungkook smacks your pussy. And you go crazy at that, so much that you see white. When you finally come to your sense you find his strong arms snaking your waist and holding you, so that you don't fall down. He upper body completely glued to you.

Then you finally speak, head thrown back chest heaving

"I think,.. this was the strongest I ever came in my life"

Jungkook chuckles, "You're welcome". He kisses your shoulder. He slowly lets you go, so that you can stand by your own. You haven't forgotten the fact that, his hard on is pressing onto your back, waiting for the attention.

"So tell me Jeon..." You kiss him slowly moving towards your bed, you stop, look him innocently in the eye and ask, "Where do you wanna cum? My mouth or my pussy?"

"God, if you keep saying such things, I think i can cum just like this" His hand rubs all over your body, "For now, let's put that sinful mouth of yours into good use, okay?"

You nod, leading him to lie down on the bed.

If somebody would have told you, the previous day, that you out of all the people would blow Jeon jungkook, in your bed. You would have smacked them in the face.

You straddle him, and then you start Pickering kisses, first his mouth then his jaw. You have to admit he is a damn good kisser, you get so lost in the kissing that you almost miss that he is grinding himself onto your core. Coating himself with the slick. You feel your pussy tingling. You keep peppering kisses moving to his jawline, then his neck, biting a bit hard on his sweet spot to make sure it blooms with purple afterwards.

At one point he gropes you ass with one hand and pushes you down to grind with more force.

"Change of plans sweetheart. Do you have condoms?" He asks, eye sparking with lust.

You sit straight, a smirk plastered on your face, you bend towards your nightstand, and bring out a foil packet from your drawer.

"Always so fucking prepared" he slaps your ass, you gasp at the sting. He is looking at you, trying to figure out whether you liked it or not. You moan, with your eyes closed.

Jungkook is painfully hard now. If he doesn't put it inside you, he thinks he might burst out of sheer arousal.

"Baby.." he says in a raspy voice

You hurry up at this, you tear the foil and roll it onto him. You raise up to lie down but he grabs you. "Ride me.." voice octaves lower. You're so wet already, you don't think you need extra prepping. You come back to your stance and slowly sink in holding his member for guidance.

Both moan at the pleasure surging through the body. You're impressed by his strength, for holding out so long. He has his eyes tight shut, almost as if everything is too much for him. You feel great, warm where he is inside you. You notice how beautiful he looks under you. Head arched back into the pillow, he looks sexy as hell.

You were zoned out in your thoughts, when he snapped back. "Y/n move". And there you were riding the most handsome guy from campus. And you couldn't believe both of you were making such mind blowing noises. You piston on him for a while before getting tired, thankfully he got the message. He started thrusting his hips up to you with such a velocity that you didn't know was even possible. You could feel another orgasm right around the corner, but you didn't want to finish before him.

"Kook, are you close?"

"So close baby" he whined .

"Me too.. ughhh"

At this he moved his hands from your hips to your breasts. He gave a squeeze. His member was throbbing inside you.

"Come with me y/n" he said through gritted teeth. Suddenly he then spanked one of your boob, while other hand pressed on your clit. You didn't see it coming and the suprise helped to exceeded any pleasure you felt in your whole life. Heat surged from your fluttering cunt throughout your belly. Your orgasm hit you like a truck. It was so strong you couldn't hear anything for some seconds. That followed by ringing of your ears.

You don't know when did he flipped you on your back but you could see his eyes screwed shut, eyebrows drawn together. One last trust and he was coming with you. Your highest high lasted for a while, and left you with aftershocks. Jungkook collapsed on top of you, he hadn't pulled out yet and your sensitive sex was still clenching on him.

You both layed there motionless. It was he who moved first, pulling out with a slight hiss. He tossed his condom with a knot in the trash can and fell back on the bed with a thump. You were still slightly dazed out from the orgasm. He chuckled seeing you in the bliss.

"God, Jeon, i'll be sore tomorrow."

"Well I'll take that as a complement" he smiled.

"That was hot. You're hot" you replied turning away your head feeling shy, all of a sudden.

He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you close, "Damn baby, i didn't know i'd see this side of y/l/n ever."

"Don't stroke your ego too much jeon".

He kissed your shoulder and smiled, "Do you have any idea, how hot and pretty and beautiful you are?"

You looked at him, for the first time you saw how his eyes twinkled while talking to you.

So you just kiss him, which he welcomes whole heartedly.

.

.

The next day you step in the college campus feeling amazing. You have been smiling to yourself since the morning. Since Jungkook gave back your thesis, it was just an hour's work away from getting the final sweep before submission. You hit the library, finish off your work and finally submit it. Your proffessor was not surprised when you told him that Jungkook pranked you again. Even if he found it weird that you had no anger or resentment towards him, he didn't point it out. Now that you felt 10kgs lighter, you had one class to attend and then you were done for the week.

You were heading back to class, when some of your classmates commented, "Hey y/n, we're rooting for you both" . They glimmered while talking to you. Unfortunately they passed by too quickly for you to enquire. You entered the class, confused and zoned out enough that you don't eveb notice how everyone's eyes are on you.

"Y/l/n".

You know that voice. You look towards the last row, he stands, smiling at you. You didn't know what was happening, but your nerves were on fire. Your hands suddenly got clammy and your heart beat started to fasten. You internally scolded yourself.

*Calm down, it's just Jungkook*

He looked nervous? You could tell, it wasn't his usual cocky behaviour. He didn't know what to do with his hands. So he just let them hang. It's weird you think.

As your gears in your brain were working, you start walking towards him. But his voice stopped you.

"Y/n".. then he jutted out his chin, pointing behind you. You could hear your heart hammering.

You turn.

" Y/N Y/L/N, I'M SORRY, SAY YES.. PLEASE?

-J.K. "

There it was written on the white board. In bold capital letters.

Is this a joke? If it's a joke you're not going to be able to walk out of here. Did Jungkook sleep with you so that he could pull the biggest prank in history? But he said all those sweet things yesterday right?

Before you could react, Jungkook spoke behind you. You turned to find him in front of you. You were hyperaware now, the students who were entering silently took their seats looking at you two. This felt like a scene from the movies.

"Y/n, i'm sorry that all this time I made your life a living hell. But i'm also glad because otherwise I wouldn't have the chance to know you." He smiles, his nervousness showing.

He slowly takes your hand. You let him. You already feel the emotions surging inside you. Is he really going to ask you out in front of the whole class?

He takes a long pause. It's almost painful waiting for him to finish the speech. Then he says-

"I'm sorry, Y/n will you be my girlfriend?" He says in one breath.

You gasped. All you could do was just stare at him, staring you back. Suddenly you forgot how to speak. Jungkook breaks the silence. "Say something please, you're killing me here. I -"

"Yes". He stops speaking. Grin slowly spreading from ear to ear.

"ABOUT FUCKING TIME" Someone from the class cheers. Everybody starts clapping. You can't stop smiling. Jungkook pulls you towards him, hugging you. You hug him back.

"Aww guys just kiss each other already!!" Hoseok, spoke with a mischievous smiled plastered on his face.

Jungkook pulled your face towards him for a kiss. It was a sweet kiss. You smirked when you felt how badly he wanted to shove his tongue down your throat but refrained since you're in public. Seeing you smirk, he whispers to you. "I can't wait to take you to my place after this". You shiver at the thought.

____________________________________________

"Mmmmm, kook..." He kissed your neck. You could get used to this. Straddling his lap and making out.

"Yes baby.." u feel his smirk against your skin.

"I have a question." You said, putting a space between you two. He took your hands and started leaving pecks starting from your knuckles moving upwards. You giggled.

"Why didn't proffessor take our class today, like he came 1 hr late, gave us homework and went away. I feel like this has something to do with you asking me out.."

"Y/n, babe out of all the questions you could ask me while making out, you choose this?" He pretended to be offended. You smacked his chest looking at him expectantly.

He started- "Well I might have talked to the prof before class telling him, i kinda need a favour from him.. "

"WHAT?" U couldn't believe this boy.

"Perks of having good rapport with prof. Also i always pay attention in class. You should learn from me y/n.." he looked at you innocently. As if he was not kneading your ass right now.

"Jeon Jungkook please tell me that you at least made up a situation or does our proffessor has first hand knowledge about us being in love.." the L word just slipped out. You acted like you didn't notice. But he surely did.

He winked at you, smiling wide like he got a promotion. "What did you just say?"

"Ugh about what?"

" About us being in something."

He was so smug about this, you knew he had won. You leaned into him.

"Let me show you instead" you wispered in his ear. The hair on Jungkook's body stood up , he had goosebumps. He picked you up towards his bedroom.

"Goddamn I love you".

[talkfastromance4]

Valentine (c.h)

Summary: Calum and Bambi have a close relationship, closer than close, but feelings are scary and words are hard for this bassist. 

**based off of Linus Young’s song Valentine. It’s amazing, check it out as it set the mood for this**

Word count: 2454

Warnings: smut, angst, pining

Masterlist

Bambi Sherwood came into Calum Hood’s life like a category 5 hurricane with her big beautiful eyes and long dark hair. When he’d first met her he thought Bambi was just her nickname.

“Nope, it’s my real name. My mom loved my big eyes and Bambi was the only name for me,” she laughed and Calum really liked her laugh. 

That was six months ago and Calum and Bambi spend every waking minute together. She came into his life unexpectedly but fell right in line with his lifestyle. They talked constantly and hung out almost every chance they could. 

He enjoyed her insights and the way she’d become an extrovert when she had a little bit to drink.

One night while she was over at his place drinking and watching movies in his bed she suggested they play twenty questions. 

“We already know enough about each other,” he chuckled at first tipping the lip of his beer bottle against his own. 

“But not the deep dark secrets,” she says ominously.

Calum glances over at her and can’t help but chuckle at the excited expression on her face, it made her eyes even bigger. 

“All right, I’ll play. You first.”

“Favorite color.”

“You already know it’s blue!”

“Shh, we have to start with easy questions! It’s how the game works,” she scolds. “You go.”

“What’s your favorite color?” he rolls his head to the side against his headboard.

“Red.”

They banter back and forth until the questions get deeper and then they take a turn and become sexual.

“Craziest place you had sex?” he asks.

“Um...the back of a jeep. Boobs or ass?”

“Boobs. Do you like dirty talk?”

“If it’s mild, yes. Don’t call me bitch or whore, it will kill my mood real quick.”

“Noted,” he laughs, “Your turn, Bam.”

“Is it true that you’re the oral king?” 

Bambi’s head is cocked to the side after her question, eyes alight in curiosity and Calum is concentrated on her tongue running over her bottom lip. 

“Do you want an answer or a demonstration?” he asks already moving to hover over her. The pendant of his necklace dangles precariously in front of her face.

“Surprise me,” she sighs staring up at him. 

With his heart pounding against his chest, Calum rests his palm on Bambi’s stomach, he feels her inhale sharply at his touch. His eyes slide to hers as he slips his fingers beneath the waistband of her leggings.

Bambi lifts her hips helping him to remove the fabric and her panties. He tosses them to the floor then watches as she removes her shirt and bra as well. With a deep sigh Calum tugs his shirt off tossing it on top of her clothes then hovers above her once more, eyes burning with lust.

Not sure if she wants him to kiss her, Calum presses his lips to her jaw then works his way down slowly. He’s pictured her naked numerous times, she’s beautiful so how could he not? And now he finally gets to taste her, worship her body like he’s imagined and the way she deserves.

His mouth sucks lightly on each of her nipples, pebbling them in his wake while Bambi hums above him while playing with his hair. He smiles on her skin as he progresses even further south, those soft hums are just a prelude to the cacophonous moans that will pass through those pretty lips as he works her over with his mouth. 

When he gets to her lower belly he changes course and leaves open mouthed kisses to the flesh of her thighs, her skin smells like coconuts and some type of flower. It makes his mouth water so badly that his teeth nip down on her flesh. Bambi whimpers above him. 

Calum pulls open her left leg lifting it over his shoulder as he brings his head level to the opening of her thighs. His mouth waters again when he sees how she’s already so soaked for him and all he did was kiss her skin. 

“So pretty,” he breathes then latches his lips on her pussy lips, spreading them open with his tongue as he went to work. 

Bambi’s body jerked at his mouth, his eyes closed as he tasted her sweet tanginess. It spiked his tongue and spurred his arousal for her even more as he hummed against her and one of her hands flew to his hair. Bambi pulled as he sucked and Calum worked his bottom jaw faster as he ate her out rapidly.

Her moans trickled in his ears and her pretty gasps made his dick twitch inside his confined sweatpants. Calum swiped his tongue up her folds before closing on her clit, tongue flicking and pressing just as he snuck a finger in her hole. 

“Cal, fuck!” she gasps pulling on his hair.

Calum takes a peek at her, her knuckles are white as she fits his comforter and her upper body is writhing as his mouth works her over, finger pumping in languorously. He moves his mouth faster, rotating his head in a circle so he can access every inch of her pussy.

Bambi’s breath comes out in quick pants, her hips rocking against his mouth and Calum feels her walls clench and become more slick. He wiggles his finger inside her until he’s practically pulling her orgasm from within, he laps up her wetness as she comes on his mouth.

His name slips from her lips like a prayer while his own lips are doing the sinful act to get her there. He hums against her and Bambi’s fingers tug harder on his hair, her moans are louder and her heel digs into his back. It’s a mixture of pain and pleasure until Bambi falls limp and Calum licks up the last of her orgasm.

He pulls his mouth away, pulls his finger out slowly and wipes it on his sweatpants before he kisses back up her body. He’s captivated by her clear post-orgasm blissed expression. Her lips are parted as she catches her breath and her eyes are shining brighter than he’s ever seen them. 

“Did that answer your question?” He mumbles turning his head from side to side so he can see her face at every angle possible.

Bambi can only nod then she licks her lips. “Can you kiss me?”

Calum captures her lips instantaneously and her fingers are in his hair once more as she wraps her body around his. His hand moves up and down her thigh as their tongues roll and slink together, no doubt she can taste herself and yet she continues kissing him. 

Bambi juts her hips to his causing them to roll over, Calum’s hands explore the expanse of her back as she lifts her hips slightly. Her hand travels down his toned stomach to stroke his very hard cock. The soft moan excites her again and she bites his lower lip, she’s wanted to nibble on it since they first met.

“Can I ride you?” she breathes, her nails scratching up his shaft lightly.

“Yeah, yeah,” he pants, “fuck.”

Bambi smiles slipping down his body leaving teasing kisses to his lower stomach and even more teasing pecks to his tip. Calum’s breathing heavily as Bambi’s kissing becomes more wet, she’s opening her lips a bit more until she takes him in her mouth. 

She bobs her head a few times to get him slick and lubed up even though she feels herself becoming wetter as well. Satisfied, she hovers over him again and lines herself to his cock. Calum’s fingers are tight on her waist, his dark brown eyes meet her dark blue in a stare down of lust and need as she sinks onto him. 

Calum and Bambi moan in unison then she begins to rock her hips forward and back before leaning down to kiss his soft lips. It doesn’t take long until Calum’s bucking his hips into hers and she’s clenching around him as another orgasm wracks her body. 

Calum comes quickly after, his stamina is usually better than this but with Bambi on top of him, clenching around him and moaning his name in his ear? He knew he was a goner for sure. 

****

It became a common occurrence that after their friends left from a hangout or it was a shared ride home from a night out, Calum and Bambi would fall into bed with each other. It was easy, whatever this was between them.

When in crowds Calum would hold onto her hand maneuvering through the hordes of people but as soon as fans or cameras were around he’d let go. Bambi would think he’d let go to protect her from getting backlash from the public.

 He’d stare at her with such intensity as she spoke to him about her day or venting about an annoying coworker, she’d be filled with butterflies. 

Bambi began to notice that after every time they had sex, Calum would slip away and have a smoke. That unsettled Bambi because he’d only smoke when he’s stressed. Scared to question him and even more terrified for the answer, she let it drop and welcomed him back into bed with open arms. 

When his birthday rolled around she spent it by his side while Ashton surprised him with a birthday party. Everyone was there and when he blew his candles out, he shot her a wink. 

After Bambi gives him the best birthday sex ever, he stares at her for the longest time. Bambi watches him try and work his mouth to form whatever words are floating in his head and it’s the cutest thing. 

Calum feels the three words he’s petrified to say hanging off the the very tip of his tongue. When he’d feel the words rise from his throat, his mouth clamps shut and he rolls off her ruffling his hair in exasperation. He rises from his bed yanking on his joggers and moves to grab his pack of cigarettes.

“Hold on, wait a minute,” she struggles out from his sheets gathering her clothes in a pile. Calum turns to face her, his expression somber. “You want to love me but I know you can’t.”

“What do you mean I can't?” he asks watching her slip her clothes back on.

“You can’t because you’re scared. I’m scared too Cal, but I wanna be with you and you can’t admit that. So what are we doing?”

“Everyday’s a struggle, baby,” he sighs. “I don’t want to put you through that.”

“I won’t be putting up with anything, I'll be with you. If you can’t see that then. . . what are we doing, Calum?”

“I don’t know, Bambi, all right? I don’t fuckin’ know!” he suddenly blows up and starts to pace. 

“You do know! You’re just too scared to say it! You know how I feel but I won’t be tugged along while you try and figure it out or don’t figure it out,” she shakes her head and grabs her phone. “Bye Calum.”

And just like that, Calum’s hurricane vanished and he was left more in a wreckage of destruction.

*****

Two weeks have gone by of Calum and Bambi not talking and with Valentine’s Day vastly approaching, Calum can feel the entire weight of her absence. 

“You’re an idiot,” Ashton tells him on the 12th while they’re hanging out. “You and Bambi have always acted like a couple since you first met a year ago.”

“Yeah and I fucked up, trust me, I know,” Calum sighs.

“So unfuck it up.”

“How?”

“Valentine’s Day is in two days, buddy,” Ashton shrugs, “I think you can figure it out.”

*****

Bambi’s had a rough day at work. Calum has been on her mind since his birthday and their last conversation has left an unsettling feeling in her stomach. All she wanted to do was order food from her favorite Asian restaurant and cuddle under her blankets watching Netflix.

As she turns the key she hears the bass from an all too familiar song and when she opens her door she hears the soft voice of Calum singing over her speakers. Did she leave it on? Bambi walks tentatively to her kitchen where she sees a tier of lit candles in the center of her table with two bouquets of the deepest red roses and her order from that Asian restaurant sat perfectly on a plate. 

A throat clears behind her and Bambi spins around and is face to face with the man himself, Calum. He’s giving her a sheepish grin and puppy eyes while he holds a single rose to his lips. He takes small, careful steps towards her and Bambi is frozen in shock. 

“Before you start yelling, I need to apologize. I was an inconsiderate ass and all I’ve thought about for the last two weeks is you,” he sets the rose down on the table then takes her hands in his. “I’m sorry for how I acted and how I didn’t say what I wanted. I’ve missed you, Bam, so, so much.”

“I missed you, too,” she whispers then flings her arms around his broad shoulders. 

Calum lifts her easily off the floor, inhaling her familiar scent and squeezes her tightly. 

So deep, your DNA's being messed with my touch Can't beat us So real, fueling the fire until we combust

Michael’s voice croons in their ears as lips find lips and clothes are removed with rushed passion. Calum and Bambi join together again igniting the same spark that’s always been with them, her moans fill the room as Calum fills her with pleasure. It’s the slowest but most passionate sex either of them have ever had. 

As Bambi tries to recover, Calum brings over a sweet treat. Chocolate cupcakes with red frosting, Bambi’s favorite. He lays on top of her and swipes his finger into the frosting, holding the red glob in front of her lips.

“Let’s play twenty questions,” he suggests just as she licks the frosting off his finger. She always eats the frosting first. 

“Okay,” she giggles swiping frosting on her finger and holds it to his lips, “You first.”

“Do you love me?” he asks without missing a beat, his eyes fixed on hers. 

“I love you, Calum,” she nods. “Do you love me?”

Calum sets the cupcake down and traces Bambi’s lips, her nose and beneath her eyes. 

“I’ve always loved you, Bambi. I’m not scared to say that now.”

He leans in placing his lips by her ear as he sings lowly in her ear, “got nothin’ but love for you, fall more in love everyday, valentine.”

“My valentine,” she whispers and drags Calum’s lips to her own.

• • • •

Taglist: @galcalirwin @cashtonasff5sos@wokeupinjapanisabop @myloverboyash  @rotten-kandy @tea4sykes @jannimoeller3 @loveroflrh @iovehemmings @cxddlyash @princesslrh @here-for-the-uproars @katiaw2

[ala-mhinyan]

VII :: Nonagenarian

The Coeurl aren’t a people meant to last.

It’s clear to any that run into them; any that truly take a keen eye to their lifestyle. Their rituals seat them as sacrifices to the very eikons they worship; beholden with power not their own and sent glistening with a ferocity most men wouldn’t dare temper with. For a people richly cultivated with history and culture, they seem more beast than man at times--a people to fear more than to know. To those who see through city eyes, for men who cannot see beneath the surface; they are nothing more than savagery with a penchant to hunt the impossibly dangerous.

Nothing more than solar flares. Burn bright, burn fast, burn hot. Then fizzle out.

Those who see their daily lives and their struggles know that the Coeurl are a people borne of hardship and prayer; an intricately immaculate culture as deep as the core of this star, this hundreds upon thousands of different facets in something as easy as everyday life. So much that goes unseen for those that choose not to see, so many gestures and unspoken phrases that would mean scriptures in an encyclopedia of knowledge if only one paid attention. Their pride is their fuel, their devotion their blood. A people of immense sacrifice; a people who would martyr themselves to give the generations past and future an unquenchable flame that burned hotter than any other to preside on this star.

A people of blood, mystery and impeccable beauty--both surface and soul-deep.

This inalienable oath is the reason they are not meant to last--for good things can never last forever and despite how the world may perceive them, they stand at a balance between life and death that only they can shoulder.

The price for the drip feed of godhood.

.::.

There is but one among them that has transcended the rote of time; one who has witnessed what many would only cite to be calamities--one who has been through Jauhar--one who witnessed the Garlean empire in its prime and the revolution of their country. One who Sees, Hears and Feels with all of their being.

Her name whispered among their people, too soft to catch the wind and carry but felt in the tremor of the sand beneath their feet. Too many who would forgo her in fear of what her presence and words mean, who make up stories of what did and would happen to her if one would find themselves in her presence.

C’arha was one among the fearless, sure steps carrying her along a well-worn path through the caves toward an isolated cavern busting at the seams with plant life that surely could not grow with no sunlight. The tickle of leaf and petal was familiar as she journeyed along the path that steadily grew tighter and smaller until one would have to crouch to make their way through the overabundant foliage. She did so without terror, without hesitation; into the very heart of the curse her tribe swore her to stay away from.

And when she emerged from the smallest opening, her bright green eyes settled on an elderly woman sitting in a comfortable rocking chair; basking in sunlight from the cracked portion of the cave that hung overhead. A smile pulled on the young woman’s lips and she approached easily, slinging the stuffed bag from over her shoulders onto the ground near the older woman.

<“C’aarya.”>

The elderly woman turned slowly, round ears tweaking just a moment too slow--though the smile on her drooping features brought sunlight to the Seeker’s soul. She was in a good mood today. <“Arha…”> A whisper-soft voice of age, wonder and magic. C’arha bobbed her head in a nod and knelt in front of the woman, gently touching the top of her foot and running that hand over her hair in a sweeping arch. Only then did she look up into familiar green eyes, a warmth settling into her bones to know another that was the same as her.

<“I brought you fresh fruit and stew. I have a bunch of salted meats and grains that will be good for you to make your porridges with, as well as a couple of pre-made meals.”> C’arha pulled the bag over, untying the lead and widening the opening so she could show the older woman the bounty she’d brought with her. C’aarya smiled fiercely, her long tail giving a distinct flick at the very tip only. 

<”You are kind to me, young one. I’m grateful.”>

C’arha nodded, gathering the bag and pulling it off to the side where a kitchen had been crafted for the elderly woman; her own stove, cupboards and an ice box that C’arha had fashioned together out of hard clay, brick, palm fronds and ice clusters. It did well to keep C’aarya well taken care of, so the runt didn’t seem to mind. Once the food was put away, she made her way back to the elderly woman’s side--settling down on a seat cushion she’d pulled from the pile of cushions nearby.

<”You are well today.”> C’arha made a gesture toward her head, index finger curling and then moving outward. <”Coherent. How do you feel?”>

The elderly woman let her head tip back, her smile never leaving those lips. <”Well, better than I have in a long, long while. It’s even better to be seeing your face.”>

<”I do not fear you, C’aarya. I have no reason to push you away back into this corridor and never visit you, it is cruel.”> Her lips turned up in a brief snarl, one that faded when the older woman waved her hand dismissively.

<”They fear the unknown. You cannot fear what you are, Arha. That is why you come here.”>

C’arha felt her ears press down, letting out a quiet sigh--leaning forward to rest her face against the older woman’s thigh. It was warm and homey--something she only felt when she laid against C’ohna. This woman was not family to her, none that she knew, but her imprisonment had burned a special place in C’arha and their visits had grown more frequent after C’sah’s betrayal.

As far as she was aware, no one else visited the woman but C’tolemy.

<”I don’t understand, elder. I still cannot understand. I don’t know if I’m blinded by emotions too deep to crawl out of or if I’m just too lost--but I still cannot seem to understand. Misery haunts my every shadow and my personal life is unraveling in ways I can do nothing about. How did you stay at peace--through all of this? You carry the same curse in your blood that I do and yet you’ve outlived so many… So much so that even your own blood cower at the possibilities. How did you not succumb to the pain of it all…?”>

The elderly woman listened carefully, long tail picking up a stuttering sway while she hummed a bit to herself. <”Let me ask you something Arha… Do you hate what you’ve been given? This affliction?”>

C’arha cocked her head, little ears wriggling just a little. <”I… Do you not hate it? It is a curse…”>

C’aarya shook her head, smiling to herself. <”By its definition, yes it's a curse. But does it feel like a curse to you?”>

The younger woman frowned sharply, <”I am punished with pain and suffered to silence for holding back the emotions that hurt me in favor of keeping another’s joy. How is that not a curse?”>

Wise, vibrant green eyes shift aside and peer at C’arha as though she were looking through a mirror to her younger self--bemused at the similarities. Of course she would feel this way. <”Are your emotions a curse, Arha? Is feeling and being felt--seeing and being seen--wanting and being wanted--a curse?”>

C’arha recoiled at those words, her face screwing up in frustration and part-way fear. No… The answer to all of this couldn’t be that misguidedly simple, not for such a complex disease that had robbed her of years of her life already… Surely, to reverse this, it was not just as simple to…

<”That cannot possibly be true.”>

<”Believe in that which cannot be disproven. If you doubt me then attempt it yourself--I have not lived this long just because I’ve had an easier life than you, Arha. I was also far less stubborn about the truths of my life.”>

<”It is not being stubborn about my life! It is knowing--”>

<”That at the crux of your being you are hurting, confused and lost. Why, I will never understand, you feel that is wrong of you? I cannot say. Why you are ashamed to be this--to be you? That is what is killing you, not this curse.”>

That froze C’arha in place, stunned to silence--very quickly veering from frustrated so depressed and right back to anger. No--it couldn’t be… But… could it? The younger woman sighed in defeat and slumped against C’aarya’s robbed thighs once more, hooking an arm loosely about the woman’s ankle as if that would get her closer to the truth.

<”...How did you get to that point? Of acceptance?”>

<”Mm…”> A moment of pause, the sing-song of her hum wafting about the space. <”It took time, that it did. Time and understanding of myself, my person-hood and my feelings. You must allow yourself the will, the right, the ability to feel and not to be ashamed of those feelings. The more you suppress it, the deeper you hurt. You wouldn’t believe how lighter you are when you welcome yourself home instead of running from yourself all the time.”>

C’arha sighed aloud once more, turning her head to bury her face into soft--warm fabric. All she could think of were what felt like the hundreds of times her Xaelic brother had sat her down and about begged her to trust him and be open with him about her feelings. Had told her that a burden shared was a burden lighter--had promised that all would be well if she just trusted.

How foolish she was to believe that trusting hadn’t meant trusting herself as well.

<”I’m an idiot,”> Came the despondent mutter.

C’aarya’s sweet laughter filled the space, the wisdom and warmth in the moment doing much to soothe C’arha’s frazzled nature to tears--swept up in herself with the old woman present to watch over her.

<”We are all foolish at least once in our lives. It is wisdom to learn from that foolishness.”>

<”And if I never learn?”>

<”You will, we all learn someday.”>

[marvelsswansong]

Soooo I was thinking maybe 3 & 35 with Bucky maybe??

3: “I can’t go to sleep without you next to me.”

35: “It’s not your fault.”

a/n: ASDFKLJASDF SO MUCH FLUFF IT MIGHT KILL YOU. 

——————————-

‘This is nothing more than a mission.’ 

That was the mantra that Bucky kept replaying over and over on his head, as you leaned into his touch and kissed him softly in the lips. The sound of the neighborhood children playing and the array of cars honking faded into the background as he focused on your touch, your very essence enveloping him in a warm embrace.

“Good morning, Jeremy! Linda, how are you?” 

Right.

None of this was real. In this neighborhood, in this world, he was not Bucky Barnes. He was Jeremy Haze- a software engineer from Iowa who worked for Microsoft for five years. And you were Linda Haze- his doting wife and stay at home author. 

“We’re doing well, Harvey, how are you?” you responded softly to your neighbour, a bright smile on your face. 

“Pretty good myself, say, the wife’s throwing a little barbecue this Sunday. Would you happen to be free?”

“Of course we are. Who else is coming?” you asked casually, prying the subject for more information.

“The usual. The Harrington’s, the Brown’s, a couple of new families from down the street. Oh, and I think the William’s are free this weekend too.”

At the mention of your target Bucky’s eyes gleamed in interest, and he straightened his back and gave his neighbour a polite smile.

“Sounds great. We’ll be there, for sure. Thank you for the invite, Harvey. See you around.” 

“Yep, see you around!”

The two of you stayed hugging each other until the door to your house closed, after which Bucky slowly separated himself from you. He would’ve wanted nothing more than to hug you, to kiss you and hold you like he did outside of this house, but it was all for a mission.

Just a facade.

“God, can you believe that this is how these people lived?” you asked jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. 

Bucky followed you into the living room as you continued to talk, your legs dangling off the side of the sofa as you laid back and spoke to the ceiling.

“So free, so… dull. The whole suburban lifestyle where your biggest worry is whether or not your newspaper gets delivered on time?”

Bucky poured you a glass of water before drinking his own, a small smile on his face.

“I don’t know, doll-”

Your heart skipped at the use of the nickname you adored so much- you secretly loved that it was only reserved for when the two of you were alone, and not used outside of the household. It almost made it feel like there was something real, something tangible between the two of you.

But you knew there wasn’t.

“I think this kinda life would be nice. Very different from the lives we lead, at least. A steady job, big family, nice house, the whole nine yards… I don’t know, haven’t you ever wished you had that?” he questioned, eyeing you carefully.

You sighed sadly.

“I guess… if it was with the right person.” 

Your gaze remained fixated on the ceiling as Bucky stared at you quietly, adoration ever so evident in his gaze.

“I know what you mean.”

The rest of the week went by in a blur- at every day at 8am, Bucky would wear his suit and tie and get in a taxi to “go to work” before returning for dinner at 6pm. In those mornings you’d open the door and kiss him goodbye out in the open, before returning to the house and cleaning the entire space from top to bottom. On some days, you went outside to go grocery shopping or got invited by some ladies who wanted to have brunch at the country club. You always accepted, a fake bright smile on your lips and a gentle grace in every action you took. 

It was your job, after all. To blend in with these people. To pretend like you were just an ordinary housewife, shy and sweet Mrs.Haze. Wife of Jeremy Haze, the software engineer. But you could’ve never prepared yourself for how difficult it was going to be to have to pretend to be in love with Bucky- when in reality, you actually were. 

‘I’m going insane.’

Sunday came quite quickly and it all went smoothly. You cornered the target- a Russian mob boss who had a summer home in this neighborhood under a fake alias- while the rest of the attendees were busy making small talk by the pool, in order to gain information. In the mean time, Bucky slipped away and broke into the target’s house to gather the evidence Shield needed to incriminate him. And in less than three hours, the man was taken away in cuffs by the police as you and Bucky watched from your house.

“Fury just called. A taxi’s coming to pick us up in a few minutes.” announced Bucky, closing the door.

Your heart fell at the thought that you would no longer be near Bucky 24/7 but quickly put on a fake smile, not wanting Bucky to see how you really felt.

“That’s great… And uh, great job as always. The mission was a success and… you know, you were a great fake husband for the past three months.” you said jokingly, shoving him playfully.

Bucky’s cheeks flushed at your touch but he quickly coughed to cover it up, a small smile on his face.

“Yeah… You were a great wife, too.”

You grinned back.

“I’m glad.”

The ride back home was quiet, with Bucky immersing himself in a book and you putting on headphones in order to ignore the obvious tension between the two of you. It felt odd to be next to Bucky without resting your head on his shoulder or sitting on his lap- all those little things you did when you were his “wife”- but you had to remind yourself again that it was never real.

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky wanted nothing more than to reach over and hug you and kiss you, already missing having you by his side.

‘It was just a mission, you idiot.’

But every time he was close to leaning over and touching you, he found himself pulling backwards and ignoring you. He didn’t want to cross a line, after all, Bucky was just a friend to you, at best. It hurt to admit, but it was true. So he just stayed silent and admired you from the shadows, wishing he could reach over and touch you.

———————-

It had been an entire week since you had returned to your regular life at the tower, but you still felt empty and lonely. You missed having someone to hold onto when you were tired. You missed having a warm body to have next to you in bed. But mostly, you just really missed Bucky.

You tossed and turned in your bed, the clock nearing 2am, as you wished that you could just fall asleep as easily as you did when Bucky was next to you. But you just couldn’t. It all felt wrong. The bed was too soft, the covers were too warm and you were too-

“(Y/n)?” 

You sat up in bed and rubbed your eyes awake, only to see a disheveled Bucky in the doorway.

“Bucky?” you said quietly, surprised.

He looked like he hadn’t sleep in so long. Dark eyes colored his hollowed complexion and his hair was a tangled mess as he stepped forward, his hand anxiously grasping his pillow.

“I… I can’t go to sleep without you next to me. Is it okay if I-” 

"Yeah, yeah… Uh, come on in.”

You remained silent as Bucky closed your door and climbed into bed next to you. 

“Sorry for waking you, doll.” drawled Bucky in that adorably sleepy voice you missed.

“No… It’s not your fault, I was already awake. Besides, I’m glad you came. I just, I got so used to sleeping next to you that I couldn’t fall asleep either.”

Bucky nodded.

“I just… I missed you so much, darling.”

You smiled.

“You’ve seen me everyday for the past week, Buck.”

He shook his head sideways.

“That’s not what I mean. I miss holding you in my arms. I miss waking up with you next to me. I miss being able to kiss you and touch you without worrying about what other people I think. I miss… I miss getting to call you mine.” 

Bucky whispered the last part of his sentence, his voice shaking from how nervous he was. 

“But Bucky-”

You shuffled closer towards him, your face a few inches away from his. You smiled.

“I am yours.”

A cheeky grin spread across his lips before he placed his hand on your cheek, drawing you in closer and kissing you as gently as you could. You smiled into the kiss, your hands getting tangled in his hair as you pulled him in deeper.

“I don’t wanna fake anymore. I want to be able to wake up next to you- the real you. Every morning.”

You let yourself be embraced by Bucky’s arms and leaned into his touch, a sleepy smile on your face.

“So let’s do that then. Everything we just did- but for real.”

Bucky nodded and hugged you softly, watching you drift off to sleep. He watched with soft admiration as you fell asleep before pressing a kiss to your forehead and whispering.

“And one day, I’ll marry you for real.”

————————————–

a/n: asdfjsalfjalsdf i hope this wasn’t trash ok i tried

–> read my other blurbs here

–> prompt list // REQUESTS ARE OPEN

regular taglist: @wantyoubackpeter ​ @platonic-plots ​ @superwholockwannabe ​ @xxmizzlexx ​ @xdsockmonkey ​ @princess-unicorn124 ​  @not-jay-c ​ @therealmrshale ​ @caswinchester2000 ​ @heartbeats-wildly ​ @mostlylyricedits ​ @musiclover1263

[themidnightfarmer]

A one sided revelation || Luke & Jared

Timing: A while ago 

Location: Hardware store

Tagging: @lucastheunlucky & @themidnightfarmer

Description: A reunion, in which one party figures out a few secrets.

Triggers: none?

Jared was in for a real set back in his bank account. Not only had he bought a rather expensive beast from a guy he barely knew, but that beast had also required a few things to get comfortable on the farm. A few very expensive things. And even after that Jared had gained some houseguests. He wasn’t living a very budget friendly lifestyle so to speak, so the one thing that perhaps shouldn't have been suffering was going to have to suffer for the moment. He eyed the more expensive, stronger gate locks and mechanisms with a heavy heart. He was going to have a few very long nights until he sold his next crop watching the gates. Lifting the smaller cheaper lock into his hands he turned abruptly and recognised the man down the aisle with a jolt of realization. A smile slid onto his face and he called out, “Hey Luke!”

Luke’s heart jolted, mind immediately racing to who said that?! Hearing his name called anywhere always startled him a little, Gotch put that in him though, and he needed to break that bad habit. He’s not in deep hiding anymore, even if he was risking quite a lot walking around during the day after four, almost five years not being able to. Turning around and seeing Jared, grown up more, and smiling made Lucas’ insides melt at seeing an old face. One from childhood always stirred old memories. “Ah, man. Look at you. Still cute and shit--” he grinned back, and walked over to slap his hand. Lucas juggled his items into a bucket he was buying, and set it on the ground. “Are you in town? I didn’t realize it.”  

Luke was Luke, and no matter the time that had passed he was the same guy, it was good to see. At least on the surface that Jared could observe, Luke was the same as he’s always been. “I’ll forever be adorable.” Jared agreed with a laugh and a dramatic brush of his hand through nonexistent hair around his shoulders. “Never left, just been too busy to traverse the shops at regular people times, get things delivered to the farm directly now. It’s for the best, my livestock keep me on my toes.” Jared grinned. “I was gone for the last two winters though, went...soul searching I guess.” he explained. “But what about you bud? How’ve you been! Feels like the last time I saw you was at a party at Martins house before graduation.”

“Same, I’m always up very early,” Luke agreed, leaving out the hiding part. He forgot Jared had a farm, and something in the back of his head wondered which one. “Soul searching-- I get that. I do that shit almost every month in the woods, just bum it out with a tent, fire, and myself and nature. Sometimes it’s necessary to get out of town.” At the mention of the party long, long ago Luke had to huff a laugh. “Shit, yeah. I think so. It feels like another life doesn’t it? High school was easy comparatively. They don’t exactly tell you that being an adult comes with so much stuff to worry about. Did you go to his funeral a while back? It was a nice service.” 

“It really takes you places that’s for sure.” Jared grinned, his own soul searching the first time had been a migration following a local Kerashag towards canada, it had been a very informative trip, and much like Luke described his own being. “A lot of camping and not much else is good for the heart.” The reminder of the not so fun part of being from town hit then when Luke mentioned Martins untimely death. “I missed it, I was working and couldn’t get the time off. I dropped off some flowers graveside though the day after.” Jared shoved his hands in his pockets with a grim face, he’d been unable to go to the funeral due to encouraging the beast that had mauled Martin to leave. An uncomfortable reality of his life, that one. “Heard his older sister gave the eulogy?” 

“Mhm, yeah. She did well--” Luke has gone to so many funerals in his life that some of them blurred together. It wasn’t awkward but more a reflective moment. That graduation party years ago had been pretty fun, and Jared did look well all things considered. Usually running into a familiar face came with him darting out of the picture, but today he could stand here and talk for a second, the change Luke was thankful for. “Yo, where is your farm at? I know there are a few right? Around here? Must be hard with the Maine weather-- you do crops or cattle?” 

“I’m the one in the outskirts, edge of the forest. Though not many travel far enough down the dirt path to actually reach my gates, you know? Bit too far for most.” And Jared couldn’t help but think that was truly for the best. His ‘livestock’ were not usually the kind to take intruders lightly. “Got a small greenhouse, but I’m mostly an animal man. Carried on my parents livestock.” It wasn’t technically a lie considering he HAD kept the real cattle for a while, but Jared still felt bad omitting the whole truth. “I free range them all in together, so I’m not really an easily visited place. But that’s fine by me, most people don’t treat my kids right.” He tries to joke. But there’s an edge to it, a memory of a recent fuck up he was still healing over. One of his kids still had bandages on from being let out by someone. Someone who had yet to be identified.

Lucas worried the edge of his lip, and thought immediately-- ‘oh, shit. Jared you have the monster beasts?!’ Luke wasn’t surprised with any development involving supernatural anything, having grown up here, it was a perk of living in chaos while the humans got hurt, died, and well-- lived their best lives in the dark on such things. Luke nodded as Jared continued to explain and Luke, well he was the one killing those beasts off. They were so fun to chase through the woods, and satisfying on the stomach under the full moon. ‘Whoops.’ he thought, and tilted his head in a puppy dog way. “Why you looking at these locks? They ain’t going to do much for you with cattle right,” ‘especially not a werewolf. Shit Jared, what in the world.’ “Yo, I’d love to see the place sometime, you working alone though? Seems like a lot of work for one person.” 

Jared mirrored Lukes tilt of his head unconsciously, still trying to keep smiling. His mind had to move fast when Luke asked about the locks but decided maybe the truth was better in this situation. No one would assume he farmed anything but cattle after all, he was safe enough. “Someone has been tampering with my gates, and since my herd is all free range and stuff it’s not so good. A bull of mine escaped not long ago and went to a frat party, and then I think a bear got to him.” Jared tells Luke, his face falling at the admission. Despite it being sabotage of some kind the nymph still held himself responsible. They were his kids, and he’d not found Hayhay in time. “Yeah I work the place alone, got some housemates at the moment but they don’t help out on the farm. I manage fine.” He actively ignored the wish to come over, it just wasn’t safe for humans, humans that didn’t know what was going on at least. He hoped Luke wouldn’t notice.

“A frat party? Wow-- did it come back with a bong hat attached?” Lucas asked, and as Jared continued it was obvious that this all bothered him. Luke pressed his lips together, unsure how to admit or say such a thing without exposing things. Better off just pretending it didn’t happen, and not do anything more. “Hey--” he shoved Jared lightly when his mood seemed melancholy, “seriously, if you need help just ask. I’m pretty strong, and Ill hull some stuff for you if you ever need it, alright? No need to shoulder everything-- I be telling my employees this shit everyday, it’s like the younger generation doesn’t hear it enough. Do I gotta rope you into them?” He teased, “also, I own this pizza shop in downtown, called Yum!Pizzeria-- you should stop by. I only do lunch so I can have the evenings free.” Luke did notice how he didn’t bring up coming over, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t try again later. 

“Spoke to a partygoer, he smashed out of the glass door apparently.” Jared cringed. “He’s only a baby, shouldn’t have been at a frat party with all that alcohol.” he tried to joke to cover up his discomfort with the idea. It was a mystery how the frat had managed to get the bies safely into their dorm when the beast was most certainly not ‘friendly’ in any definition of the word. Then again he was just a baby. Easily bribed. “Oh sure lump me in with the ‘kids’ just because your birthday is coming up old man.” the nymph joked. Jared perked up further when Luke spoke about his own business. “Hey! A pizza place!! That’s great bud! You’re looking at your new most frequent customer.” Jared reached out and playfully punched the other in the arm. “You’ll never be rid of me,” he grinned. 

The joke was so poor that it was actually kinda funny, even if he’s surprised it didn’t hurt anyone. When Jared compliment him and made such a declaration it felt like he wasn’t turning thirty one, and instead nineteen. Seeing anyone he knew when he was a kid stirred the inner playfulness in him, and he couldn’t help but really wonder how many of his friends back then knew more about the supernatural than any admitted. His mother always made sure Lucas was quiet about it at all costs, not that he needed reminding with Gotch bothering him back then. “Oh yeah?” Lucas wanted to ask him to promise, but Regan had really put the scare in him over such a word and tried not to use it anymore. “I will hold you to too it-- plus, I still really want to see the farm sometime. Don’t think I didn’t notice you leaving that open. But no pressure, if you are the shy type now-- I won’t hold it against you too much.” Luke teased and grabbed his things. “You still shopping? What else you looking for?” 

Jareds smile turned sheepish when he was called out on ‘forgetting’ to address the wishes to come over and see the farm. But he grasped onto the excuse he was given by Luke and ran with it quickly. “Hold me to it all you like, you’ll be sick and tired of me so fast. Ah...the farm isn’t that special. Cows and fields and nothing all that interesting. I’m no pizza place.” Jared tried to distract the other, bringin the conversation back around to Luke himself. “Mostly just the locks, some spray paint as well, but I couldn’t see any in this isle.” 

“Fine, fine,” he waved lightly, “but I can not possibly, be sick of you. No way. Especially now that we ran into each other. I’m-- the one who is going to annoy the hell out of you.” Luke glanced at the locks and had to wonder which one was actually the most ‘werewolf’ proof, even if he’d stop pulling from there on the full moon from now on. Jared should probably have a decent one. He’d have to ask Miles. “Maybe some chain with a lock would be better?” He asked, “and I’m here for a bunch of random shit for the pizzeria. Want to have a hardware drawer just in case something breaks.” Luke made it seem like he’d walk with Jared for the rest of their shopping needs, and when they checked out, he pulled out his phone. “Dude, here,” he handed his phone over. “Give me your number, and we will hang out or go do something fun.” 

“A chain is far too much work.” Jared joked. “Nah, I need easy access for real it’s calving season.” And Jared knew this fact made his farm a mess every year. Vicious mothers tended to get even more so the closer to term they became. Especially the bies. So to combat this, new hardware would be needed. Especially since someone was sabotaging him. “Good call about extra stuff, you’d think I’d have learnt that lesson, then again…” Jared paused and peaked into Lukes basket that he’d previously put down. “We probably need different sorts of supplies huh?” He grinned however when Luke indicated he’d stay the journey. Jared took the phone and typed in his contact details. “We will, if you don’t see me far too often at the pizza shop. I’m not kidding, I eat so much take out when I have the spare cash it’s unreal.”

“Just come hang out, I’m in downtown near the shop anyway. It’s easy to get around,” Lucas took his phone back and sent him a quick string of emojis so he had his number. “I hear that shit all the time. Pizza is easy, but you better keep up the active life or it will get to your health. I just got back on my feet a few weeks ago after an injury. I missed climbing and running, and throwing a football. I’ve been thinking about getting a few of us together sometime for flag football. You down for that? Can you catch and run? Cause that’s all there is too it.” Luke chuckled. 

“I can definitely run, catching isn’t a strong skill for me. But I can learn.” Jared bumped their shoulders as they waved their way through the isles to the register. “Count me in for football. I’ll try not to make a fool of myself relearning the rules. Been a hot minute since i’ve had anything to do with sports.” he laughed as he put his basket down to pay for the locks. “But hey. Text me. Or see me at the shop today because I'm ordering like five pizzas in celebration bud.” 

[shenlongshao]

GGS Redesign Analysis: Millia Rage

This is super long overdue, but welcome to another part of the GGStrive redesign analysis! Last time, I did Zato, which can be found here.  Now it’s time to do Millia Rage!^_^ MILLIA RAGE ------------------- “How is it possible she keeps getting prettier?!” and “She looks so gorgeous!” is what the majority of people said after seeing Millia’s reveal trailer. Since she has a few designs in the past, I’ll be talking about each one starting with her look in Guilty Gear: The Missing Link.

(Here’s a direct link to see it bigger https://i.imgur.com/dR9DBod.jpg) Millia’s initial design has a simple, yet unique and retro type style. The height and width of her collar conveys the traits of being mysterious, distant, and reserved. The short bubble sleeves of her form-fitting, white leotard displays a hint of her feminine and elegant side. Layered over the leotard is a sleeveless, short blue overalls dress with hip-high slits. On her arms is long, fingerless gloves with double metal plates. On her feet is ankle-length boots with blue frontal metal plating. Sometimes, she would try to conceal herself with a long, beige cloak when venturing in public. The primary aspect of her design is her blonde hair, which the majority of it is her Forbidden Beast called Angra. And lastly, there’s a thick, blue headband to compliment her look. Before the events of the 1st game, Millia was an orphan until being raised by the Assassin’s Guild and forcefully given Angra(it hasn’t be directly stated what she lost in exchange, but there’s some implications on what it might be). The style of her black gloves shows she’s combat ready while the style of her clothing tells of her valuing the aspect of able to move freely. Although the training and traits of an assassin has been instilled in her, the blue and white color scheme conveys how much she wanted to get away from that lifestyle. I think this design was good for its time, but I’m glad it was improved in Guilty Gear X. Next is what was her iconic look.

The concept of Millia’s original design has been kept and updated rather than a complete change. Her long, black fingerless gloves and her ankle-length boots is the same. However, one of the changes is she wears a black leotard underneath instead of white. There’s also the design of her high-collared, short-sleeved dress. It has two buckle straps within her bustline and at the helms along with blue trim. I notice how white is the dominant color this time instead of blue, so l’ll be gathering the color personality traits that fit Millia. Color Personality of White:  https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-white.html Having a personality color white means you are neat and immaculate in your appearance, in the presentation of your home and in your car, almost to the point of being fanatical.  You are well-balanced, sensible, discreet and wise. With a personality color white, you are cautious, practical and careful with money. You think carefully before acting - you are definitely not prone to impulsive behavior. You tend to have a great deal of self control.

You are confident, poised and self-assured when at your most positive, but can also be very choosy and fastidious when the mood strikes. You can be very critical of yourself and others (in your need for perfection) - but you try to be fair and impartial as well. You are self-sufficient and a loner - you don't want or need help from anyone. However, you may also experience times of loneliness because of this trait. You may be wishing to create simplicity in your life - perhaps a wish to re-create your childhood, lost youth and happier times in your past life.

You can be quite sexually prudish with your need for self-control and perfection. You hide your flaws from others to give an impression of perfection. You may appear to be shy, but you do have strong beliefs about most things and love the opportunity to air those beliefs. The challenge for you is to be open-minded and flexible and to communicate your needs and desires. Color Personality of Blue: https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-blue.html You are conservative, reliable and trustworthy - you are quite trusting of others although you are very wary in the beginning until you are sure of the other person. At the same time, you also have a deep need to be trusted. You are not impulsive or spontaneous - you always think before you speak and act and do everything at your own pace in your own time. You take time to process and share your feelings. You are genuine and sincere, and you take your responsibilities seriously. Having a personality color blue means you have a deep need for peace and harmony in your everyday life - you don't like having your feathers ruffled. You would benefit from daily meditation and quiet time for reflection, introspection and self-discovery. You appear to be confident and self-controlled, but may be hiding your vulnerable side. Being a personality color blue means you are generally fairly even-tempered, unless your emotions take over - then you can become either moody and over-emotional, or cool and indifferent.

You can be rigid - you like to stick to what is familiar to you and it is hard to sway you from your path - you stubbornly do things your way even if there is a better way. You need to have direction & order in your living and work spaces - untidiness and unpredictability overwhelm you. You don't like to draw attention to yourself - you prefer to be in the background. Color Personality of Black: https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-black.html You are independent, strong-willed and determined and like to be in control of yourself and situations. With black as your personality color, you may be too serious for your own good - bring some colour into your life to lighten you up - life should be fun. With a personality color black, you may be looking for protection from any negativity that surrounds you. You may wish to create an aura of mystery and intrigue, as in the sexy black negligee. You may be going through a stage of self-denial, not allowing pleasure and joy into your life. You hold things inside and are not good at sharing yourself with others, possibly out of fear. You are methodical in your work, making sure everything is completed as required, down to the last detail. You may have lost sight of your direction in life and are going through a very negative phase. These perfectly describe Millia and like the improvements to her design. Story-wise, Millia was still on the path of severing ties with her teacher/lover Zato and the Guild. But she wasn’t able to fully live peacefully due to Zato’s body got taken over by Eddie. The biggest change is how Zato got revived by the Conclave, which stirs the mixed feelings she has for him and forces her to deal with her feelings and what to do with her life; meaning a change in her design.

This is the first redesign of Millia’s look that really accentuates her feminine nature and hint of Russian heritage. The style of her hair is different with side-swept bangs and layers extending beyond her cheeks(without Angra, her hair grew to her shoulders). There’s still hints of her previous look with the style of the long-sleeved coat dress she wears. It now has the added detail of decorative button within the orange tie saying “Curiosity killed the cat”(she likes cats and chasing them). She still has the high collar and how there’s a single buckle with a loose strap wrapped around her lower shoulders. There’s two buttons near the black cuffs of her sleeves and helms of her coat dress. Her gloves are much shorter and this time, is white with orange trim. The black leggings and the white, ballerina-inspired shoes displays her elegant side. The Russian style hat has the labels Z1-28 and 13; Z for Zato and 1-28 referring to his birthday and 13 for the years they were together. The most interesting part of of her look is the main color is golden yellow. There’s also some hint of orange, so let’s see what it means for her. Color Personality of Yellow: https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-yellow.html You analyze everything, all the time, and are methodical in your thinking. You have a strong independent streak in you, and are selective with your choice of friends, keeping a small group of close and like-minded friends rather than being involved in team events or large social gatherings. You communicate well on a mental level with like-minded people, but can become bitter and sharp-tongued if crossed. With a personality color yellow, you can be stubborn but dislike pettiness and spitefulness of all kinds. You like to think you are intelligent and well educated, with knowledge about many topics. You are a smart dresser and always dress to impress. Color Personality of Orange: https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-orange.html You are friendly, good-natured and a generally agreeable person. You are tolerant and accepting of others just the way they are. You enjoy being physically active, particularly in the outdoors, whether it's simply going for a walk, or competing in high level sporting competitions. I love this design for her because of how well it shows her style and personality. My only complaint is it’s way too much yellow, XD. But Millia has went through a major character development with the realization there is some good moments during her time in the Guild, such as people she formed connections with(Zato, Slayer, and Venom). That instead of running from the Guild, she decides to return and vows to be the next leader to reform it. She concludes that a simple, normal life is not what’s meant to be. It’s really basically a poor excuse for her to keep appearing in future games, lol. Thus, it’s time for to have another redesign, which I’ll begin with her face.

The structure of Millia’s face looks softer with slightly rounder cheeks and smoother chin to emphasize her femininity. I notice how she’s given a distinctive nose shape rather than giving her a standard female nose. The tip is smoother and the bridge of her nose has a elongated curve. The most pronounced feature of her face is her eyes. Not only is it similar to style of the older GG games(like X2), but her eyelashes are thicker. It conveys of her being mature, elegant, and confident. Another thing I noticed about her eyes isn’t the same shade of blue like Ky’s in the previous games. Lighting does have a huge effect on how a color appears, so I did looked at Ky’s under the same lighting and stage; Ky’s is pure blue compared to Millia’s. Next is seeing the rest of her upper body.

(Link to see it bigger https://i.imgur.com/19919qD.png) There’s some things kept from her Xrd SIGN design like the button that says “Curiosity kills the cat”  and “Z1-28″ and “13″ on her hat. The material of her Russian hat is fur like a traditional one, once again wanting to highlight her nationality. The style of her clothes is drastically different with wearing a formal black blouse with orange trim and the details on her new, form-fitting dress coat. Below the bust area, the printed words on it says “Ivy Traditional”, which is mostly like the name of the clothing brand she’s wearing. There’s buttons from the front beginning from her stomach downward and buckle straps around the sleeves and the outer center on the upper part of the coat. Accenting the look is a orange scarf attached and wrapped around her shoulders. An interesting detail around one of her sleeves is the strap with the tag “P.W.A.B.”(I circled it in the picture). Considering what happened in Revelator(1 and 2), it must be relating to what Millia’s goal is and has a high position. Surprisingly, there’s no full picture of her yet so I’ll have to show a screenshot instead.

She also seems to have kept her black leggings, but have different shoes. Now she wears high boots with orange trim at the bottom. Millia’s primary color is French beige this time, so let’s look at the color personality.(I had to go to a different site) Color Personality for Beige: https://colorogy.com/beige-color-meaning.html You are modest about your achievements. You can keep secrets and confidences. Your understated and low key persona can fascinate and intrigue other people. You come across as enigmatic as you say little and leave a lot unsaid. You keep your cool even in difficult situations. People are drawn to your calmness and inherent tranquility. You have an indefinable quality that adds to your allure and this can mean you are always or frequently surrounded by admirers. You prefer to play by the rules and being ethical is one of your priorities. You are a true friend and a loyal partner in your relationships. When it comes to friendship, it is not a hectic social life and a long list of friends that you look for or want for yourself. You are happy and content with a small, trusted group of friends. Loyalty is something that comes naturally to you. You are loyal and expect the same in return. You have the ability to grasp new ideas and concepts quickly. You amass knowledge for wisdom and for knowledge’s sake. You are interested in everything that goes on in the world and in your areas of interest. You are much in tune with all that occurs in your immediate environment. You are responsible and dependable. You are introspective and enjoy discovering meaning to your beliefs and way of thinking. When you start something new your intention is always to take it to a logical conclusion. When you become interested in something you burn with ideas and energy to get what you want. You are protective about your loved ones. You are even protective about the welfare of perfect strangers. You may take up a cause that inspires you and quietly do your bit without mentioning it to anyone. Seeing someone else miserable or suffering in some way can cause you emotional distress and take the shine off your day. Refined and sophisticated define your personality perfectly. This reflects in every aspect of your life, your fashion sense, your lifestyle, your behavior and your choices. Even when you encounter difficult, irate or rude people, you may not retaliate, as you believe undignified behavior is below your dignity. You get content with the way your life is and resist major change. You enjoy being in your comfort zone and are reluctant to step out of it to face the unknown and have different kind of experiences. You think of and plan for tomorrow. You have goals and ambitions that you plan to achieve and have a concrete plan in place. The efforts you put in towards achieving all that you want in life are consistent. You don’t back down; come what may, when you really want something. With Millia taking on a high position role and how she wishes to make a positive change in the Guild, wanting to be with her allies, etc. The color beige definitely fits her, especially since it also describes traits she has since the beginning. There’s Venom, whom they used to not get along, but have learned to put the past behind them. Zato, her mentor and the one she loved, whom she still deeply cares for, etc. It’ll be interesting to see how her story unfolds and how she takes on this role. All of Millia’s designs have been great in their own way and love how her Strive design takes it a step further. She’s more beautiful than before(which I didn’t think was possible, lol), her professional and elegant style highlights her personality and growth as a person, and love her striking eyes. I’m really glad yellow isn’t her main color anymore because I felt it was too overpowering, especially with her hair being also yellow. Beige is a much better color and compliments very well. Rating: S + + +  (Gorgeous~!) 

[idesofrevolution]

For @thehopefulenemycollection. Waited wayy too long. It’s unacceptable. This is my first Body Swap story, so bear with me. 

I snapped a pic, knowing full well that somewhere, somehow, Will would know I’m enjoying every moment in his body. The transition was difficult, for sure, but it seems we’re adjusting pretty well to our new lives. In fact, I think he’s taking it rather well. I imagine you’re trying to decipher just what the hell I’m talking about. It’s a bit of a windy, twisty tale. So I’ll start from the beginning, try to keep up.

I’d been Will’s supervisor for a while. When they told us we’d be taking on new employees, my mind immediately went to the incomparable irritation of training some new brat that’s fresh out of school. That’s how it’s been before, and I just was not interested in wasting my time with an entitled little brat. So imagine my surprise when this tall glass of milk walked through our doors. He was attractive, smart, sweet... And, God save me, Australian. To say I was enamored with him is an understatement. Fortunately, he was a quick learner, and adapted to his position quickly. He was honestly a delight to train and a lovely addition to the workplace dynamic. 

Over the following weeks, we’d forge a bond. I can only imagine the gossip behind the scenes: a thirty year old bisexual black guy and a twenty one year old Aussie bro. The optics were hard for some to accept, but for us, we didn’t care. We felt some sort of a connection- despite our differences in upbringing, lifestyle, and just about every demographic.

We told eachother everything. Open communication helped build a rapport where we could speak our minds without fear of judgement or prejudice. I’d vent about being a thirty year old virgin, in love with a girl I’d never be able to get. He’d talk about his struggles with being young: never being taken seriously by anyone. Never having the opportunity to flourish. And one night, our conversation was the deepest it could have ever gotten.

We’d been the last two out of work, as he was finishing up the menial tasks I’d given him, he walked into my office with a bottle of Hennessy and two glasses. I was elated. As he sat down in the chair across from me, I poured us a drink. With an obligatory toast, they flowed down the hatch. 

“You know, Brad, I don’t know if I wanna stay here.” He looked forlorn, his head hanging low. “I just don’t get the respect I deserve for everything I do. I get everything done every single day, and all I ever get is a thumbs up at best. Nothing I do is ever appreciated.”

“Will, I hope you realize I recognize everything you do. If I didn’t communicate that, I’m sorry.” I reached across the desk, grasping his shoulder. His normally strong, broad shoulders felt limp and defeated. “You do amazing work here, and I’d be so sad to see you go. But you have to do what’s best for you.” 

“Man, sometimes I wish I had what you have. A steady job, a full life, stability...” I looked at him quizzically. He wanted what I had? What I saw as a mundane, everyday existence was a goal for him. 

“Are you serious? I’d kill for what you have. Look at you, you’re young, attractive, with big prospects and a massive potential.” He looked up at me, a coy smile gracing his face. 

“You think I’m attractive, huh?” My face flushed a bright red. Had I shown my card? I’d always felt like something of a mentor to Will, but over the course of our relationship... He was incredible, how could I resist falling into the temptation of lusting after him. “My man, you’re a good looking guy yourself. If I could, I’d give you everything I have if it meant I’d be trading with you.”

Another round of Hennessy, and we kept talking. Kept dwelling on how we’d live our lives if we were eachother. I’d go out. I’d have Sabrina. I’d have use my assets to the fullest. As I outlined my plan of how I’d be an amazing William, he spoke about how he’d go back to my apartment. Enjoying just relaxing, enjoying not worrying about where the next paycheck would go, enjoying feeling stable and sound. 

Down the hatch went round three, and by this point, we were slightly inebriated. From what little I can recall beyond slurping down the last remnants of the cognac, we laughed and joked and enjoyed the freedom of eachother’s trust and company. Note how I stated ‘what little I can recall.’ Beyond that point, it was all a blur. What I can recall is waking up the next morning in my office. 

My head was throbbing. Pulsating. At thirty, a hangover seldom keeps you down, but this was incredible. I could see stars in my periphery. I lifted myself up from the chair, and walked to the bathroom. Turning the water on, I splashed my face with cold water; only noticing after a few rubs of my eyes that my hands were not my own. They were big, slender... and the dead giveaway: they were white. I stared into my borrowed blue eyes and dropped to the ground. I was Will. Looking down, I saw his long, limber legs and youthful, narrow torso where my average body had once been. I scrambled to my bigger feet, and stared once again into the mirror. His beautiful face stared back. 

“What the fuck!” I heard a familiar voice bellowing from my office, it was my voice. “Brad! Where are you?” I bolted past the door and stared at myself examining my dark, ebony hands. “Whoa, whoa... What?” Our eyes met, and it clicked. It was still us, the very same people as before, but reversed. 

“Okay, let’s not panic, man.” I tried to calm him with my now velvety Australian accented voice. His response would take me by surprise: he began to laugh. I saw him come over from behind the desk, pointing his finger at me while smiling my wide, toothy grin.

“It happened, Brad! Or, should I say, Will?” Confused by his reaction, I stood there shell shocked. “We wished for it, man. We got what we wanted!” I shook my head, putting my hands on my face. What did it all mean, how could I adapt... The uncertainty was overwhelming. The room began to spin, and within seconds, I hit the ground once again.

When I awoke, ‘Brad’ had taken the liberty of laying me down on the couch. He handed me a glass of water, which I gladly accepted. As I took a sip, I stared at him. Our glances locked. He grasped my head, and pulled me into a deep, passionate kiss. The sensation of feeling my former tongue probing this new mouth, and the expertise in which he used it... It was incredible. The thick lock of lips and intense groping... I’d never been filled with such ecstasy. I felt the virile passion of youth once again, and the mood take over.

He unbuttoned his pants, whipping out the big, dark cock I always dreamed of putting to good use. How could I have ever imagined that he’d be putting it to use for me? I took him into my mouth, savoring the taste of my own former cock sliding in and out of my lips. It was bizarre. It was wrong. But it felt so right in that moment. I groped his pendulous balls, feeling the roughness of pubic hair and the slickness of sweat. Pulling them, fondling them, with each grasp he gasped for air. Within moments, he grabbed the back of my head, and began to thrust into my open maw. Back and forth, back and forth, the tip of his cock pounding the back of my throat. 

“Unngh... I... I feel it coming...” The sensation of his warm, silky cum flowing down my throat in streams will forever haunt my thoughts. Burst after burst. As he pulled out, it was literally dripping from my bottom lip, stuck on my stubbled chin. “Holy shit.” He was right. It was amazing. It was unbelievable. And now, it was our reality. As I quietly gathered up my clothes, taking the unabashed sniff of my youthful scent, we smiled at one another. As I departed for his small, garbage apartment, he left in my Ford Explorer. 

That brings us to the present. Here in my new apartment, snapping pics of my new self. Sending the cocky pic to Sabrina, if only to mark a late night rendezvous off my bucket list. What could have ended as a cataclysmic catastrophe ended up as the best thing that could have happened to us. In fact, perhaps this is exactly how it was always meant to be.

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