#this tag has basically become my semi-public diary

[gillianthecat]

NaClYoHo Day 5

I did not end up doing the dishes yesterday after all; I decided not to even try because I kept getting coughing fits whenever I stood up. But I did them this morning, despite really not wanting to. I wasn't too tired, I'd just kind of lost the momentum of doing things and the novelty of being sick was wearing off. But getting the dishes done felt good, and I looked out the window at the misty rain on my neighbor's roofs and the distant orange and green trees and at the water droplets on the spiderweb in my window frame, and it was all very pretty.

I still had some energy after the dishes so I wanted to go for a walk but then I decided to fold my clothes from the drying rack first. And I did it! I didn't put them away, mostly because my dresser situation is chaos right now and that felt overwhelming, but I did put them in tote bags to carry upstairs when I have the energy.

And then I did go for a walk in the not quite rain. When I went to Ireland when I was five they called this kind of weather "soft out" (or so the family story goes, I haven't checked if this is true) so that's what my family always calls it. It also felt really nice; sometimes I forget I how good it feels being outside when I'm holed up in bed for a long time. I walked to the end up the patio, checked my energy levels and then decided I could go further and so made it about halfway down the block (which is the equivalent of a whole normal block, my block is very long), and decided it was time to go back. According to my magic watch, about 450 steps altogether, lol. But that's more than I had the energy for yesterday.

I've been complaining on here about being sick a lot but that's because I'm enjoying feeling like I can complain about it. Usually when I'm stuck in bed for a long time it's because my ADHD brain is refusing to do anything else and there's so much shame and embarrassment around it. So being forced to do nothing because of physical illness feels wonderful in a way. It's not my fault I'm not doing anything! My body is to blame! I have no choice but to lie here and watch my shows! I physically can't do the dishes right now!

So I am a little anxious now that I'm on the mend about getting back into cleaning. And I have a hard time evaluating my capabilities to do things even at the best of times. But I do think I can honestly say, based on my physical energy levels and not just my ADHD desire to shirk work, that I still can't do that much. Therefore the plan for today, beside the now typical doing dishes and keeping trash contained, will be to do more loads of hang-dry only laundry (enough to fill the drying racks) because a) I have a lot to get through, and b) it's convenient to have it hanging up now when I can't do other cleaning so it's not in the way. Even though drying is slow on a wet rainy day like today. And then, only if I still have energy, maybe a load of dryer-able clothes because that is low mental effort.

🔲 dishes

✔ replace trash can bag in room

✔️ keep trash contained

✔️ gather two loads worth of hang-dry laundry

✔️ wash first load

✔️ wash second load

✔️ hang first load

✔️ hang second load

bonus round:

✔️ wash regular load

✔️ dry regular load

✔ fetch and fold clothes

But I'm going to rest a little more before starting any of that - watch this weeks ep of Big Dragon and drink some hot chocolate.

afternoon addition: well, gathering the laundry and carrying it downstairs was exhausting. So I'm not going to do the bonus round, but i will attempt to wash and hang everything already down there. Should be doable even if tiring.

evening addition: i had momentum and the laundry basket was right there ready to go so I ended up doing it. even though i got exhausted folding it I'm glad I did; it's so satisfying to a) have it done and b) replace the boxes with check marks.