#this sucks they posted this in two huge images

[genshin-impact-updates]

Upgraded Artifact Auto-Lock Feature & Increased Elemental Reaction DMG | Developers Discussion - 11/06/2024

Hi, Traveler! The latest Developers Discussion is here! Let's take a look at the optimizations that this new version update has in store for us!

[Check the original article here for higher-quality images.]

[arolesbianism]

I <3 making up overly complicated fictional games for characters to play so I can use the imagery of said game to symbolize their torment within the story

[arminsumi]

S. GOJO ★ DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE IN MY FANTASIES?

Pairing : fem reader / teacher!Gojo

Synopsis : Gojo j*rking off to fantasies of you until eventually the two of you do it together on a phone call.

Warnings/tags : 🔞 smut, solo male m*sturbation, p*rnstar fantasy, d!ck visuals, big d!ck Gojo, risky m*sturbation (office), slight perv behavior, toys, breeding kink, use of sl*t, dirty talk, m*sturbating on phone call, pillow humping, mutual m*sturbation, phone sex

Note : lol this is the post that got accidentally published once. i hate tumblr mobile!! 😿 i still want to edit the original bc it has some juicy stuff. but i put some of it into this 😈

Library | Gojo

The first time he does it, he doesn't actually realize that he's fantasizing about you. You enter his mind randomly one night as he winds down after a long day of teaching. He naturally slides his hands down his pants.

Satoru starts massaging his growing hard-on through the fabric. His big hand wraps around the veiny shaft and he gives it a few squeezes, sighing at the sensation.

Satoru hastily unbuckles his belt and slides it off with a whip-like snap, pale veiny hands rolling it neatly before setting it down on the table besides his bed. Those pale veiny hands quickly push down the hem of his pants and grab the base of his stiff cock.

He starts stroking it slowly up and down, with his eyes closed in relaxation and his other hand snuggled behind his head.

Jerking off leisurely, not rushing at all, just enjoying how it feels to pleasure himself with his own hand.

He pictures you naked. It's just a brief thought. He grumbles at himself and shakes the image out of his mind, as if he was indulging in a taboo act.

You're the teacher he works alongside. Every day you greet him with that sweet smile and kind voice that makes his heart tick. You're so innocent and untainted, he holds back from imagining you lewdly even though he really wants to.

He bites his lip at the thought of you.

Today was hard for him, you know, because your tight uniform seemed... especially tight. He commented on it in the afternoon, of course very subtly;

"Nice tits." he flirted jokingly. But his eyes were glued to your breasts like he'd never seen a pair before.

"Thanks. My uniform shrunk in the wash." you giggled in response.

"Ah, I see." he nodded understandingly, gulping when you bent over to pick something up — even if you tried to keep your skirt down, it still rose up your thighs just enough for him to find out that you wore a G-string.

The image of your body is stuck in his head now, when he's all alone in his king-sized bed.

It makes him cum. And he cums gently, letting out a barely audible grunt of breath while it dribbles out of his cockhole and runs down his shaft.

He swipes some cum off the underside of his cock and sucks it off his finger, tasting himself. Then he falls asleep like a baby, not thinking too deeply on the fact that he came to the thought of you.

****

The next few times get more and more intense.

His cock feels so much better when you're on his mind. Even when he's in a risky setting... like his office.

Though no one would dare to walk into Gojo Satoru's office without permission, there's still the risk that you could just burst into the room — maybe to complain about him slacking off.

He thinks about the risk, and it turns him on more... his cock twitches at the fantasy of you walking in on him stroking his big cock while sat in his office, long legs spread wide and head tilted back in ecstasy.

You'd find out the obvious but dirty fact that even Gojo Satoru needs to let off steam every now and then. He's not just a teacher all the time, he's also a frustratedly horny man.

Satoru squeezes the tip of his cock and clenches his jaw.

The angry veins decorating his shaft are all raised. His cock pulses harder at the thought of you walking through his office doors — he'd love to see your reaction. Would your mouth drop open? You'd find out just how huge his cock is. Would you offer to help? Nah, that only happens in porn, right? He keeps fantasizing about the scenario as if you and him are two pornstars on set.

In this fantasy, you're just sooo shocked and thirsty for Gojo Satoru's big cock, you can't help but ride him in his office even though you risk the whole school hearing the skin slapping and moans.

He pumps his fist up and down his cock faster. You know, originally he intended to nap — he rarely gets any sleep because of much he's needed in the Jujutsu world. But for some reason, after passing you by in the corridors, he got an angry boner that just wouldn't go away.

Working up a sweat under his black uniform, Satoru slumps down in the chair while totally getting lost in his pornstar fantasy of you. He gets too hot so he splits open his jacket and unbuttons his expensive shirt until his abs are exposed. It's funny, he's slowly turning into a performer... and all he's doing is just jerking off alone for himself.

"Fuck." he mutters under his breath.

He orgasms so hard while thinking of you deepthroating him that his toes curl — that never happens. Cum splatters on his abs and he breathes heavily.

You knock on the door and he gets shocked out of his skull.

"Gojo? I have those files you requested." you spoke through the door, "Can I come in?"

"Shit uh, wait! Just give me a second!" he yells, hurryingly cleaning his cum off his abs with a tissue.

He hastily discards the tissue, and buttons up his shirt, leaving a slit of his chest exposed to catch your eye, and calls for you, "Come in."

You swish your hips when you walk in, and it drives him nuts. He acts ordinarily, like he wasn't just getting off to a wild fantasy of you, his co-worker.

"Here they are." you say, and set the files down on his desk.

"Thanks." he stares at you hard.

You'd look so good bent over my desk.

"Gojo?"

"Yup?"

"You look flushed, do you have a fever?" you ask innocently.

He swallows and replies shakily, "Nah, I'm good. I was just... doing push-ups."

"In your... office? Fully clothed?" you eye him out confusedly.

He makes a cute, dumb face and shrugs his shoulders.

****

Satoru's made jerking off part of his nightly routine. It helps him sleep. And he also can't help himself; you're more in his life now than ever, he keeps your company often and his feelings are growing quick.

He's laid in bed.

His lips part erotically and his legs tremble as he furiously jerks off. Suddenly, he shoots forward and groans "Fuck!", cumming hard all over his crotch.

Satoru's cock doesn't want him to sleep tonight. It stands up again a few minutes after he cleans up his cum and rolls onto his side to sleep. He grumbles and tosses around, hoping his boner will go away.

But it doesn't.

So he starts grinding his cock into the bed, whimpering your name into his pillow. Why is he whimpering your name? And why can't he stop himself?

He scrunches up the duvet and humps it, ass muscles tensing with each rough thrust. The friction isn't enough, he starts stroking it with his hand.

But even that isn't satisfying enough.

I need a fleshlight so bad.

He squeezes his cock tight, massages his fat balls, switches hands even, does everything he can. But his cock is needy for more and his orgasm refuses to come along.

Satoru grumbles and stops, glaring up at the ceiling for a good long while before coming up with an idea.

He props a pillow and buries his heavy cock into it. Then he plants two big hands on it, grabbing it as if it's your hips, and thrusts his greedy cock back and forth.

The bed squeaks under the force of the Strongest's hard thrusts. He fucks the pillow and talks dirty to it in his mind, pretending it's you.

"Just let me have your pussy, please."

"You wanna have my babies? Of course you do. Slut."

"That's it, lay there and let me knock you up."

The thought of you squeezing his muscular biceps in your tiny hands is what makes him cum. He groans and clenches his teeth, jawline becoming super defined as he cums into the crinkled up pillow. His gooey cum spills out and stains the fabric.

He gets hit with a wave of post-nut clarity. "What the fuck..." he pushes his hair out of his eyes.

His forehead is sweaty, his chest is heaving, and he feels so guilty for getting off to you again.

****

So Gojo Satoru bought a fleshlight after that frustrating night. He rushed to leave work early, so you caught him.

"Don't be lazy, 'Toru." you frowned, "You're really gonna let me finish this paperwork all by myself?"

The doe eyes you gave him stuck in his mind. All he replied with was a suspicious chuckle and a lame excuse.

"I'm so tired, gimme a break just this once, please?" he pleaded, feeling his blood rush south. You looked especially good.

"Alright, fine then. Get some rest, okay?" you said caringly, letting him off.

He squeezes his cock into the pocket pussy and pumps it up and down quick, relishing in the sound of lube squelching.

The toy is too small for his big cock, but he likes that. It makes him think about how tight you'd be — oh damn it, there he goes again thinking of you when he really shouldn't be.

"I know it's too big, baby, but take it please..." he's dirty talking to you in his mind.

Satoru's got an unsuspecting kinky side to his personality, and it really shows as he fucks his toy. His heavy balls slap against the silicone, causing lube to squirt out.

He momentarily stills inside to suck the sticky cherry lube off his finger, imagining it's your juices. Thinking of how you taste makes his cock twitch, and he starts up with his pounding thrusts again, grunting under his breath and clenching his jaw.

Satoru's got an awful breeding kink. He once told you at a Christmas party that he hoped to start a family one day. Now suddenly as his orgasm works up with each thrust, he thinks back on your response;

"Me too, I'd love to have a big family."

He groans and twists your words in his fantasy; "Cum inside me, Satoru! Gimme your babies!"

"Fuck." he hisses, cumming hard inside the fleshlight.

Once isn't enough, he keeps filling it until he works up a sweat and his cock tires out.

After cleaning his cum out the toy, he washes his face in the bathroom and leans over the sink, shaking his head at himself for thinking of you saying such lewd things.

****

Fact: Satoru sleeps naked.

When passing the mirror in the mornings, he rubs his eyes and takes a moment to check himself out. He flexes his abs, and then a raunchy fantasy brews in his mind;

What if she rode my abs? Could I make her cum like that.

"Oh my god." he mutters out loud, rubbing his face in annoyance at his own horniness.

He slides on his sweatpants without underwear — cock too big, you know, gotta let it breathe without underwear. And he goes to the kitchen to make an super-sweetened coffee.

But his boner is annoying him. It stands up, making a bulging tent out of his sporty sweatpants.

Abandoning his coffee, Satoru gets his fleshlight and tapes it to the kitchen countertop, and squirts lube into it until it oozes out. He likes it sloppy.

Still thinking hard about the fantasy of you riding his abs, he lubes his abs up and caresses them slowly, feeling up and down his chest and tweaking his pink nipples for a bit before paying his cock attention.

"That's it, ride my abs. I know you like them."

He'd love to see you humping on his stomach like it's your pillow. As he slides into the fleshlight and slowly pumps in and out of it, he wonders how you touch yourself. Do you use toys, or your fingers? Do you take your time?

Pressing his two palms flat on the kitchen countertop, Satoru starts fucking the fleshlight harder and harder until the squelching sound is loud enough to reach his ears.

He's starting to think more deeply about you — how soft and warm your cunt must feel. How it would squish under the weight of his heavy cock. He'd definitely slap his cock onto your tummy to show you how much cock you were about to take inside.

Without thinking, he brokenly moans your name as he cums hard.

****

One night, you're on a call with Satoru. He lays back on his bed, long legs stretched out. Even though you're talking business stuff, the sound of your voice gets him hard and he rolls over — soft grunts carry through the phone to you.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Moving around. You were saying?"

As you keep talking, Satoru starts subconsciously humping his pillow.

"Ugh, fuck..."

"What was that?"

"Sorry, got a cramp." he lies, sensitive cock twitching against the pillow.

He humps it harder and harder, sometimes slowing or stopping to reply to something you say.

"Are you okay? You sound like you're breathing heavily."

"Yeah, just... working out."

"... what's with you and working out so often? Didn't you work out in your office the other day? Freak." you giggle.

Your giggle makes his dick throb. He smiles guiltily.

"I've just been enjoying myself lately... um, with exercising." he speaks, voice sounding oddly sultry.

He keeps sliding his cock back and forth on the pillow. You return to the previous topic of grading problems, and he listens intently.

"What do you think, Satoru?"

He lets out a squeaky grunt that could easily be excused as one of those noises you make during exercise.

"Couldn't hear you, c-can you repeat that?"

"(blablablagradingsomethingsomething) Satoru." he hears you say his name at the end again and it brings his orgasm closer.

He nearly chokes as he swallows. "Yeahhh that sounds g-good... so good. Ugh, fuck."

"Satoru?"

He cums so hard hearing you call his name. As his cum spurts out, he pretends like nothing's happening and keeps talking to you in a shaky voice. A few seconds pass and he speaks a little more normally.

"Must be some work out routine to make you swear like that." you joke, voice suggesting that you knew exactly what he just did.

"Uh... y-yeah." he acts a fool. His face burns red hot realizing that he just possibly fucked up big time.

"Well, you're probably all sweaty and gross. Why don't you go shower and I'll call you back?" you suggest.

His heart beats hard and he cringes at himself. "Yeah, I think I'll go do that..." he looks down at his cum staining pillow. "... wish you could join me." he mutters under his breath.

"Wow," you giggle. "I didn't think you liked me in that way."

He grins, cheek squishing against his phone screen. "Sorry for being a perv."

"Not at all. I like the attention you give me."

His heart flutters. Well since the mood is set, he thinks, maybe he should prod and see how far he can take this.

"Do you think of me when you're alone in bed?" he asks.

When you hesitate to reply, he gets a little nervous.

"More than I'm willing to admit." you reply.

He smirks. "Oh yeah?" he flusters you with his deepened voice. "What do you fantasize about?"

"Mmm, come find out." you tease.

His boner is sticking up, begging for some relief.

"... I'm hard."

"Yeah, I'm wet."

"Uh... do you mind if I...?"

"Exercise?" you joke.

He giggles guiltily, "Yeah."

"... why don't we do it together?"

He widens his eyes and blanks for a second.

"You wanna touch yourself with me?" he asks in disbelief.

"I am already." you reply.

He chokes up, "Oh."

"So... what exactly were you doing earlier?" you ask suggestively, rubbing yourself through your panties slowly.

Satoru hums, "You wanna know my exercise routine?"

"Haha, yeah..."

"... I was just fucking my pillow. I never usually do that unless I'm really sensitive."

"Oh, so my voice got you sensitive?" you tease.

"Maybe." he replies breathily.

Precum beads out of the tip of his cock, enough to make a squelching sound as he jerks his hand only up and down the first few inches of his cock.

"... are you going fast or slow?" you ask.

"Kinda fast..."

"... okay, then I'll go faster, too."

Satoru listens intently, desperate to hear you moan. When he puts you on speaker, he can hear how wet you are.

"A-are you using a toy?" he asks, hearing some sort of thrusting action through the phone.

"Yeah... I'm trying to hit my G-spot but it's hard. Wish you could come help me." you pout and he can hear that cute pout.

"Shit, I'd love to. H-hold on a minute, will ya sweetheart? I wanna use my toy too. Keep touching yourself, don't stop."

Satoru hears your soft noises as he reaches over into his bed-side table drawer to fish out his toy and lube.

He hastily lubes up the fleshlight and slides into it. "Fuck..."

Biting on the hem of his shirt, Satoru exposes his flexing abs as he fucks his fleshlight loud enough for you to hear. He lazily tugs his shirt off with one hand, never stopping his thrusts.

"Satoru, I'm really close already..."

"I-it's okay. I can cum q-quick if you just say my name."

You can hear him pounding into the toy harder when you start moaning his name. All he needs to tip over is for you to announce your orgasm, and then he lets out a low growl and rolls his eyes back, releasing a hot load of cum.

His balls are squished up against the entrance of the toy as he stuffs every inch inside. And then oops, the poor toy breaks.

"Haha, fuck." you hear him

You ease out of your orgasm state and come back to reality. Oh, did you just have phone sex with Gojo Satoru?

"What happened?" you ask.

"I broke my toy." he replies smugly.

You laugh, "Oh, that's unfortunate." you say, "Well, if you need a new toy come pick me up tomorrow and take me out on a date."

"Wow."

© arminsumi

I do not permit the copying/reposting/translation/plagiarism of my works. Do not steal what I've worked hard to create.

This is fictional work.

[simpjaes]

FRENZY ៸៸៸ part two

Jake is experiencing real love for the first time in his life. He’s so infatuated with you that he would do anything to make you understand. And you? Oh, you are in no place to argue with a man who appears to be perfect. 

៸៸៸  part one here ៸៸៸ you must read the first part in order to understand this one!

៸៸៸ sim jake x afab reader 

 ៸៸៸ minors dni

 ៸៸៸ wordcount: 14.2k

 ៸៸៸ genre: stalker au, dark fic, slow burn, smut

 ៸៸៸ content tags: switch!stalker jake, he is gross but on a plus side he’s got a big shlong, obsession, panty stealing/sniffing, toothbrush sucking, shower water tasting, jealousy, manipulation, past trauma involving sa of reader, reader is manipulated into being obsessed with him too, trauma, jake is very insane, he’s thinks you need him to fix you, reader can be lifted and carried by him. 

 ៸៸៸ !WARNINGS! there is intense trauma, past abuse, and conflict in this fic. It’s dark with mentions of noncon and dubcon, and an instance where jake keeps going after reader faints. Everything is consenting between the two but only because he is manipulative and a bad person. if you can’t handle it, don't read it.

 ៸៸៸ a/n: sorry again for the way i had to post this in two parts, still i hope it was worth the wait!

៸៸៸ nsfw tags under cut

៸៸៸ nsfw tags for the whole fic, as in both chapters: masochism (jake), sadism (reader and jake), overstimulation, painful masturbation, praise, worship, dirty talk, blowjob, finger fucking, pussy eating, riding, missionary, mating press,  standing up sex yayyyyy, huge giant fat cock jake, deep penetration, unprotected sex, implied breeding, choking, hair pulling, suffocation, cock warming, crying, begging, hate sex, hitting (m receiving), squirting

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

The next morning, you were late waking up to log into your work account but Jake was still there, drowsy and smiling at you from the moment you opened your eyes. 

You briefly remember the early morning pouting he gave you, hard against you and lips all over you, and in turn you remember how you made a promise to yourself swiftly after rejecting his needs.

Your face heated up the second he said good morning to you, flustered over the fact that not only do you want him, but you want him to want you like that again, despite your rejection. After all, you let him sleep over, and he didn’t try to take advantage of you despite sporting an intense boner through the majority of it. 

He sees the way your eyes check him out upon waking up too, but you stay silent after he gives you his good morning greeting. 

“Are you hungry? I can step out and pick up some breakfast so you can work.” He offers, stretching his arms out wide and tapping you to stand up. “I’m staying again today.” 

Your eyes widen at him, but the smile on your face betrays that little red flag in your head that has forced you, up to this point, to struggle to give him what he needs. 

“I’d like that.” You nod to him, cheeks permanently warmed at the image of your shining boyfriend. “Sorry about last night.” You blurt now, standing up and stretching yourself. 

“It’s fine love, it's just hard to keep my hands to myself sometimes.” He says, intensely watching your reaction.

You lend a pause in your stretch at those words, having heard them before when your ex did things that made your body ache for weeks. There is a pull in your gut hearing him say that before you remind yourself that they’re just words. He just really likes you, and he did stop when you told him to.

He is not your ex. 

“I wouldn’t have hurt you though,” He continues, seeing you deep in thought in front of him. “If you’d have let me, I mean.”

“Jake I–” You stop yourself, feeling a flood of words on the tip of your tongue. “I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” You confirm, now moving forward to hug against him. “I would have–” 

“You would?” His eyes light up, smile brighter than you’ve ever seen before. 

“No, I mean,” You stutter in panic, hugging him tighter. “I would have touched you if you asked.”

His eyes go dark instantly, making his smile seem more eerie than anything as you look up at him. 

“I’m okay with doing the touching, we can work our way up to the other stuff…maybe? If that’s okay?” 

“Oh, baby, that’s more than okay.” He coos out, now losing his appetite for actual food and wanting nothing more than to show you just how good he could really be for you. His arms hug you tightly before releasing you, and he ushers you across the room. “We can talk about this later though, you’re already late, right?”

You nod, feeling a bit better about initially rejecting him and doing just that, moving to the small nook that holds your desk and PC and listening to him slip his shoes on. 

“I’m going to grab breakfast, and I’m gonna stop by my place to grab some clothes.” 

He leaves before you can answer, which is nice because part of you didn’t want to hear your own voice accepting that. 

Accepting that he’s leaving right now, accepting that he’s coming back to stay another night, accepting that you feel perfectly fine with all of this despite your inner demon advising you to run. 

You don’t know who you are in this moment, but what you do know is that you’re safe. That’s what’s driving you to act blatantly against what your own brain is telling you.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You’re clinging and Jake is fucking devoted to the feeling of it.

Devoted to the way your fingers, so much smaller than his own, grab him to kiss him. Devoted to the way you kiss the bruise above his brow, and the way you ask him to stay for another night, and another, and another, up until he finds himself doing his and your laundry together just so he doesn’t have to go back home to grab more clothes to rotate through. 

It’s been a week since he’s been in your apartment, rolling around on your bed with you in it, cleaning himself in your shower, washing himself with your soap. It’s like only the two of you exist in this space, where he is the only one to step out and see the sun, solely so you don’t have to.

Or, solely so you can’t. He doesn’t think he’d let you at this point, now that you’re his and you prove it with each kiss and hug. All you need to do is sit and look pretty, sit and love him. That’s what your purpose is in this relationship, he will do the rest. 

Given, he’s also fucked his fist each second he can get in your bathroom. But goddamn do you cling. You whine when he separates himself from you even for a moment, and day by day he can see you come closer and closer to fulfilling his need to be loved by you entirely. 

Your phone hasn’t received any unsavory messages you’ve noticed as well, they haven’t needed you to come into the office, and all you can manage to think is that…you’re in love with being in this apartment with him.

Only good things happen when Jake is with you and you’re growing so attached that you’ve thought more than once to just move him in with you. Your mother would scold you, your ex would kill you, and arguably, Jake would absolutely do it. 

He waits on you hand and foot. Cooking, cleaning, doing your laundry, holding you and giving you some of the best sleep you’ve had in years. You refrain from considering it seriously though, because this relationship is still so new. You don’t want to freak him out or cause an uproar in your already fucked up and unsteady life. You’re throwing yourself in like you always do, but…is it so bad when he’s doing the exact same thing?

Until he’s not, anyway. 

“Love,” Jake starts, tapping his chin with the tips of his fingers as he lounges on your bed. “I need to go home today.”

Your heart immediately sinks. 

“What? Why?” You ask in a voice that plainly shows your panic.

“Well,” He taps on his chin again before moving his hand through his hair. “I’m pretty sure my mailbox is probably full by now, I need to clean out my fridge, and I should probably check my course work.”

“You’re…in college?” 

Jake nods with a snicker, laughing at how he’s given up his entire life for you. 

“Yeah, probably won’t be soon though.” He laughs, shaking his hair out and then looking at you with big, rounded eyes. “Just for the day, I’ll be back before sunset.”

You look down in a disappointed way before nodding to him. 

“Aww, babe. Don’t be like that–” He mock pouts as he turns to you, grabbing both of your cheeks and squishing them up, forcing your lips to pucker before landing a harsh kiss against them. “I’m coming right back, I promise.” 

You nod again, unable to keep a smile from forming on your face. 

“You’re so cute, it’s going to kill me one of these days.” He smiles back at you, hopping up and preparing himself to head back to his apartment. 

What you don’t know is that, while Jake wasn’t lying and that he should at least clean out his fridge, he needed to go home. 

He needs to unload the footage onto his computer, he needs to watch it back, he needs to fuck something.

And so, he does just that. 

The second he gets back to his apartment, it’s almost uncomfortable. Unfamiliar scents, no warmth, rotting food in the fridge, neglected pillows and bed sheets. 

Even so, it’s like he acts on instinct when he walks past everything he needs to do and lands himself at the window. His mind takes over in an instant.

It felt like so long ago when he first saw you from here, knowing you were the most beautiful, the perfect girl for him. Knowing you would love him too, and that you’d never want to leave him. He smiles at his victory, knowing that you’re sitting in that apartment right now thinking about him too. If he knew where he would be now, he thinks his former self may have very well fucked himself to death. After all, he’s felt you, tasted you, and even seen parts of you based on the little image he sent to himself from your phone. Everything happened better than he knew it would.

If it weren’t for your ex, perhaps you wouldn’t have let him stay with you in your apartment. Perhaps you wouldn’t have clinged to him so immediately. 

In a way, he almost wants to thank the man before he eventually strangles the life out of him. 

He’s tasted almost all of you by this point, and each moment it happened is trapped within the files of that little camera there. All of it, for him to remember. Each kiss and makeout session he made sure happened in the view of this camera, and so badly does he want to watch over and over again the moments where you gave in to him. The moments where you needed him. 

He’s quick to push the camera to his pc, uploading a weeks worth of files before placing it back onto the window sill and immediately shoving his hand down his pants. 

Jake shivers at the first unrestricted graze of his hand against his cock, eyebrows falling into that of probably one of the most pathetic faces he could ever make in his life. The relief is so good, so painful.

He can’t fucking help it. After jerking off multiple times a day before finding himself in your apartment with you, it’s hard to only do it once a day within a short time span of a few minutes. He felt so restricted in terms of his release, and he has so much cum to give right now. He’s aching for it. He wants to bleed it dry. 

He wants you so bad at this point, seeing you dangle yourself in front of him and not yet give in to at least going down on him– he needs this. He needs it now. 

Even if it’s not you touching him, he needs to release before he takes it from you. Before he does something stupid and makes you hate him forever. Before he really does become your ex. It felt like he was going insane in your apartment, surrounded by you, only wanting to fuck you, and still not getting to. 

God, the footage is so grainy but it hits his cock so fucking fast. He memorized each moment as it happened, and now watching it in third person makes him feel as if he’s some sort of ghost. Like he’s having an out of body experience and can see and feel you in a completely different light.

In more ways than he already has, even.

He releases within thirty seconds, barely holding his cock when he doubles over at the footage of that very first, harsh kiss you gave him. Sensitive and twitching, his raging length spilled all in his pants, drenches them through even, as his body shakes with the need for more.

And as if it never happened, he takes a firmer hold of his cock now, fast forwarding the footage to each and every kiss, wondering how good those lips of yours would feel elsewhere on his body. How pretty your moans would sound for him, how cute your hand looked gripping your tit in that little nude of yours, how–

He comes again, forcing him to let out a choked sob and drop his head to his desk. God, it hurts. He’s so sensitive, and still, he wants you so bad. His dick is still raging, aching, and begging, especially when he thinks of how you’ve been clinging. How your hands have fucked yourself, and how badly he wants them to stay on him forever. 

God he wishes your fingers could slice him open, leaving painful and love-filled reminders of not who you belong to, but of who he belongs to. 

When he thinks of how he’s only doing this right now because you have your claws buried into him already, almost refusing to let him leave you, he knows he could come another four or five times within the next thirty minutes solely because you cling, and cling, and fucking cling. Fuck..

That’s so hot to him.

He’d let you cage him up in a heartbeat, he’d let you fuck his entire life up and then laugh at him for it. It’s what you deserve. To have a man willing to do anything for you, someone willing to give up everything just to hear you breathe, to have him be that person. 

Third release, forcing him to hold his breath to the point of feeling faint.

The veins on his neck protrude, sweat now dripping down his brow. 

It hurts, it hurts, it fucking hurts.

But it doesn’t hurt enough.

And all day he does this. Until the sun is telling him that he needs to go back to you, until his hair is drenched in sweat and his arm is sore. Until his body feels weak and his cock feels spent, raw, and still throbbing for more. 

It hurts when he puts on a new pair of pants, hurts even more when he forces himself to squat in front of his fridge to clean it out, opting to toss everything into a bag rather than sifting through what’s good and what isn’t. 

Now more than ever does he want you against him, knowing that he’s fucked himself half to death solely to keep himself from scaring you, and still he isn’t satisfied.

At this point, nothing will satisfy him but you. He knows this now.

He’s quick to lock up, even quicker to toss his trash, and finds himself inside of your lobby at a loss.

Goddamn his libido. Goddamn this love for you. 

He can’t stop wanting you, and he can’t just fuck the need away himself at this point. He needs you to fuck his brain quiet, only you can satiate this horrifyingly deep hunger. 

Waiting, watching, waiting, waiting, waiting. 

He’s waited enough. He’s done waiting. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Jake appears at your door right on time, and you were expecting to see his smiling face and big stretched out arms to greet you as you open the door for him.

You didn’t get that though. In fact, you found yourself frozen with the door half open as you stared at your boyfriend and the way his terrifyingly small pupils looked back at you before instantly growing twice the size. So different from this morning, heaving, lips shaking, eyes darker than they’ve ever been. 

Before you can even ask why he’s looking at you like that, you learn exactly why. 

“I’m going fucking insane.” Jake says shortly in a hot whisper, stepping forward and slamming the door behind him. You feel his hands on you instantly, slipping under your shirt and grabbing your waist tightly. “Can’t be away from you, can’t be with you, I can’t stand it.” 

You just listen, feeling him walk you into the living room, fluttering his lips all over your face and neck, only to press you up and against the window with his entire body pinning you there with a slam. 

You’re shocked, unable to do anything but listen to him and feel the way his hands grip and search your entire body for something to hold onto. 

“All fucking day,” Jake seethes out angrily, pulling back from you and grabbing your face to turn it. Almost pissed that you simply exist in front of him right now. “Right there.” He says, pointing directly to his apartment. “I sat right there trying to deal with this.” He presses his hips against you, letting you feel exactly what he’s talking about. “And still, I need more.”

Your brain goes numb. Or maybe it goes hot, you’re not sure. You’ve only recently realized that he turns you on beyond belief, it’s difficult to decipher the difference between horniness and fear right now. 

“Jake–” You turn back to him, now using your own hands to grab his face, forcing his eyes to steady and look at you, as if to bring him back to reality. “Do you need–”

He cuts you off with a harsh kiss, hands running up just to press you harder against the window, his hips chasing whatever he can get from you. Like he’s using you in this moment, as if you’re not real and simply a doll for him to release against and inside of. 

He’s fucking gone. Outside of himself, and you, and the universe as a whole. 

“What I need,” He says, pulling back and stating in an almost demanding tone. “Is for you to take care of me.”

You knew this would come sooner or later, and you’d been trying to work up the courage to do it. You’ve run his patience dry, and you guess it’s now or never at this point.

“Just tell me.” You whisper submissively, wanting to give him whatever he needs solely so that he won’t leave you.

You see his expression soften within a split second, his hips release their pressure against you, and he pulls his hands back.

“Fuck.” He lets out apologetically, demeaning himself for losing his control and being so blatant. Pointing out his fucking apartment to you. “Baby, I’m sorry, I–”

You’ve already made your decision, understanding exactly why your boyfriend broke his composure. This past week proved enough to you that he wasn’t in it to fuck you, and even though his needs weren’t being met, he still worked hard to meet yours, you feel…

Yeah, you’re happy he did this. Even the force didn’t scare you entirely. The only thing that scares you is him leaving you over this. And he watches as you do it, sinking to your knees and reaching out to hook your fingers into the loops on his pants. 

“Baby,” He warns you, feeling you pull him straight to you. “Wait, wait.”

You don’t, knowing that if you were to stop now you might end up talking yourself out of doing this again.

“No,” You shake your head, lifting on your knees just to rub your cheek against the length in his pants. “Let me take care of you, I’ve neglected you enough.”

God, he fucking buckles. Dropping right to his knees in front of you, pulling you in by the face, and kissing you as hard as he possibly can. His entire body quivers, bursting in a euphoric sense of arousal as the hairs rise on his body at the very image of you on your knees for him. 

“You’re so good to me,” He mumbles through kissing you. “So, so good to me.”

And you just let yourself feel it. Intensely, to the point that even your stomach flips at knowing what’s about to happen.

Strangely enough, it flips in a good way. You haven’t felt like this in years, and it brings so much glee to you knowing that Jake is right here, willing to let you make him feel good. Willing to let you feel these things again, willing to make you feel good if you work up the courage to ask for it. And most of all, he’s staying. 

“Stand up then.” You whisper in a smile. “I’ll take care of you, so don’t run back home to do it yourself anymore.”

Jake shakes his head with a smirk, happy to get what he not only wants at this moment, but what he so desperately needs. 

“I did that for you, and look where it got me.” He says, standing and staring down at you. “Nothing will ever satisfy me, only you can.” 

You chuckle shyly, reaching up to fumble with his button only to have him take over for you, dropping his pants and gripping himself. 

“Don’t be so sure though.” You swallow around a lump in your throat at the size of him, proving why you were always able to feel it and not quite ignore it. “I don’t have a lot of practice with this.”

Oh, could you be any more perfect? Any more fucking endearing? With those pretty eyes staring down what he wants to put in you so bad, not even knowing how he’s only ever gotten this hard for you and you alone. Fuck, he could give it to you so good, he could fill you until you can’t breathe, he could keep you forever.

You look so pretty like this, with your lips trembling as you wet them, with the way your smaller hands swat him away as if to ask him to let you try and hold it yourself. 

He could shoot his load right now if you asked him to, looking so fucking docile on the floor for him. He needs to look away, he needs to prepare for this.

“I don’t know if I can, um,” You start, gripping him and noting that he’s thick, there’s no way it will all fit in your mouth without absolutely suffocating you. “Jake, I genuinely don’t know if I can fit all of it.”

He lends you a short chuckle as he takes in a breath, his fingers going down to tip your chin up at him. You feel it pulse in your hand as he looks at you, almost feeling his quickened heartbeat through the vein that runs up the underside of it. 

“Love, I don’t need it to fit.” He smiles, pressing it harder into your palm. “Even this is enough right now.” He lies, pressing his hips forward as if to show you that he’s lying.

He needs it to fit so bad.

You eye him down, feeling the twitch release a little dribble of precum that rolls down and onto your circled fist. It’s been a long time since you’ve looked at another person this way, wanting to taste it, almost needing to. 

Rubbing your legs together, almost uncomfortably, you swallow again as you keep your eyes trained on his before glancing back down. You pull your hands back just to see the way it drops. God, it’s so heavy. You can imagine he’s full of resentment for how long it’s taken you to simply look at it. His cock rages at you, darkened in color and glistening in the light of the setting sun through the window. 

All you can do is stare.

And all Jake can do is stare too, watching you do math in your head of what you need to do with him. He’d take anything, fucking anything, from you right now.

“Mm,” Jake hums for a moment, grabbing your hand and squeezing it tighter. “Like this.” He instructs.

“I know how to give a hand job, you know.” You roll your eyes playfully, despite totally forgetting how to do it now that, you know, you want to. 

“Yeah, don’t tell me that.” He warns, annoyed that you’d even say that right now. “Just, grip me harder–” He closes his eyes, pretending that you’ve never touched a cock that wasn’t his own, noting how your hands have always been gentle with him, save for that day you dragged him around by the shirt in a kiss.

You listen, trying to grip the girth of it as tightly as you can while dragging your hand forward and back, forcing little grunts out of him.

“Yeah,baby–” he encourages you, “Just like that.” He continues to lose himself to the feeling in soft moans, blinking down and now moving his hips in your grasp, fucking forward a bit harder. “Use your other hand too..”

You listen intently, never having to use both hands on a man like this before. You try to squeeze him, offering as much pressure as you can as he swivels his hips forward and back, slicking your hands up nice and wet with his precum. Unbelievable how much he has, actually. 

 You look up when he lolls his head back in a drawn out moan, staring at the expanse of his neck and the way it tenses when he swallows around the same moan. And then, suddenly, in a split second he hangs his head back down and looks at you as if he can see everything you are, everything you ever have been, and everything you ever could be. You gasp at his expression, feeling totally lost and in awe when you see that gaze go dead as he stares back. 

His lips fall slack when his hips pick up pace, essentially fucking your fists rather than letting you do the work. And when you glance away from him, tuning in to the consistent pre-cum spilling out of him, he sees you lick your lips. 

He watches, he sees you want it. 

So, very gently, he places one of his hands on the back of your head, encouraging you to do it. And it’s like he can taste colors when you let him and instantly wrap your lips around the big, swollen head of his leaking length.

The half-moan-half-amazed-chuckle that falls out of him only comes from the fact that you instantly stretch your lips around it, lapping at his tip in an almost hungry way. 

“God, fuck–” He keeps his head hanging forward, watching intently as you take him further and further into your mouth, up until you release one hand and grasp his thigh to hold onto. “I’ve dreamed of this.” He admits, shocked that you’re really going to do this for him.

You blink up at him, trying to smile around the heavy length pressing your tongue down. If you’re going to do this, the least you can do is make sure he fucking loves it. Not to mention, the fact that you’re also enjoying it only drives you to do more. Like the wall inside of you has been shattered and nothing could ever stop you from wanting him in any and every way possible.

He smiles through a deep groan at the way your lips still curl around him.

Never in his fucking life did he imagine you smiling while sliding his cock down your throat. Really, you did that entirely on your own and somehow, he feels even more insane than he did walking into your apartment earlier. 

You’re making it fit, and all he can do is help you, now bracing that same hand on your head and pressing further into your mouth.. 

More, more. 

And when he feels your fingernails dig into his thigh and his cock hit the back of your gagging throat, he chokes out, eyes tearing up, and he sobs out your name in a desperate attempt to compliment you for it. 

That sound alone from him went straight through you, igniting a long awaited arousal within your belly. You feel the drip, relishing in the feeling of being wet for the first time in fucking years. He’s so big, and he’s so suffocating. You want to do this, you want to hear him cry out your name again.

Even when he tries to pull his hips back, you grab onto him and hold his hips in place, pushing your lips further down, depressing your tongue even more as the thickest part of him cuts off your airways. Your throat restricts around him, and you feel proud of it. Proud of choking on him, happy to keep doing it. 

He stutters in awe, gripping the windowsill with his free hand and using the other to feel your hollowed out cheeks. Shit, you’re going to taste him, he’s going to give you all of it, he’s going to–

Shocked, floored, entirely drunk for you, all he can do is watch as you choke. His body did not warn him at all when his cum shoots into your throat, warming your belly with that first swallow around him. 

Your reaction to it is immediate though, as he watches with half-crossed eyes the way you pull off of him and let his cum spurt out and drip all over your face. Down those beautiful cheeks, onto your plush lips, and down your neck.

It won't stop. He just keeps coming. His entire body trembles as he stares at you, and you stare back before closing one eye due to the fact that there is now cum in your eyelashes, and you fucking smile at him.

The image alone keeps him hard as his body finally stops twitching. You, there on your knees, smiling up at him drenched in him. 

“Baby,” He soothes out with a raspy tone. “Fuck, you didn’t have to do–”

“I’m wet. Jake.” You smile, as if you’re admitting this to him to gain some sort of congratulations for it. And in a way, you are. He has no idea how amazing it is to you right now that you can feel your panties go sticky. It feels amazing to admit to him, actually. 

It’s so relieving, it’s so warm, it’s something you never should have missed out on in the first place.

“What?” He asks with uneven breath, dropping to his knees in front of you again, rubbing the cum into your skin with his thumb as he caresses your face. “You are?”

You beam at him, smiling with a nod.

“Really?” He asks again, in disbelief because this was all it took? 

You nod again, leaning back on your arms and watching him follow, hovering over you and slotting himself between your legs with a hungry gaze. 

“Can I feel?” He asks abruptly, crawling over you to the point that your back hits the side table behind you, keeping you from lying all the way down. 

And you nod before you think about it. Wondering if this is how it’s always supposed to be. Always willing, always wanting, always needing. 

He stares at you when you nod, glancing down to your middle then back at you as if to gain another confirmation. 

You nod again, this time wanting to hide your face in your arms. You anticipate it, wondering what it’ll feel like to be touched there again by a hand that isn’t your own after all this time. And when you feel his shaking hand dip into your sweat pants, you don’t even shutter. You don’t shy away.

You’re surprising yourself even, letting out a gasp when he cups your core and looks down at you with a cautious smile. 

“You’re dripping, baby.” He smiles as he balances himself on one arm over you, rubbing his hand back and forth and memorizing the dips and folds he can feel through this flimsy fabric. Then, his more intrusive thoughts spill in an unintentional and needy groan. “Fuck, I bet you’re so tight.”

Words that would make you recoil are no longer scaring you. You can tell he wants to apologize for saying it too, but goddamn, you loved hearing it. In fact, your entire body pulses at the words, feeling his hand do nothing more than hold you there and gently rub. His eyes are pleading though, with his lips pouting as he relishes in thoughts of probably fucking his fingers into you just to see if he’s right. 

Or maybe it’s just you hoping that’s what he’s thinking about. You can’t help the way you clench, letting out a strained breath as you lurch forward and hug him around his neck, squeezing so tightly as you whisper against the shell of his ear. 

“You can touch me– if you want.” You whisper, physically feeling the goosebumps against his neck raise to your lips. “Just go slow.”

You still need to go slow, after all, you don’t know how your brain may react to this, despite loving it at the moment. Relishing in the fact that someone managed to make you feel horny again. You feared that you never could again. God, he’s amazing. 

“I’ll go so slow for you,” He whispers back, twisting his hand in your pants to hook his fingers around your panties to pull them to the side. “Oh, baby, you really do want this, don’t you?” He whispers again upon really feeling you drip, trying to slide his fingers through the slick mess before rubbing circles around your hole. He’s lost his train of thought now, only able to feel one sense at a time so that he can fucking memorize how you coat his fingers entirely.

He moans again from deep in his chest along with you, despite knowing you’re the only one feeling the pleasure of his fingers. You feel his moan vibrate through his throat when you kiss him there, anticipating what it’s going to feel like when he slides a finger in.

And it’s like you see stars when he does, slowly pressing one into you as he wraps his other arm around your waist to hold you in place, sitting back on his knees and forcing you to stand on your own infront of him. 

There he holds you as if he’s afraid you’ll start to fight, relishing the feeling of your wet walls hugging his finger all while you cling to him through it. He was right, you are tight despite how wet you’ve gotten. It’s almost like you’re a virgin despite knowing that you’re not. 

Your body is reacting this way for him, and you’re hugging him, and your pussy is clenching for him. He just knows that if he manages to fit his cock into you, he’d fucking lose it. You’d squeeze him so tight, and he’d fuck it so deep. Fill you up, deeper, deeper, until the only name you know is his. 

He’s losing it again, hearing your little whispered moans against his ear, hanging on him like a fucking pet, god, he wants you to squeeze the fucking blood out of him. You’re being so compliant, so submissive, so–

“Do you even know…” He starts babbling, trying to silence his thoughts by giving them straight to you as his finger slides out, eagerly shoving two back in at a much quicker, much harsher pace. “How much I’ve dreamed about this?” 

You shake your head noting how he’s already mentioned dreaming of you once. The thought has you spreading your legs out to feel how deep his fingers reach inside of you. There’s no pain involved in this, despite his pace not being nearly as slow as he said he would go. You’re not upset, you want him to go faster, you want him deeper, you want to hear him talk.

“So many times, baby, so many times.” He soothes himself more than you through these words, losing himself more and more each second to the feeling of your core clenching his fingers. “You’re even prettier to me right now,” He continues to babble, listening to you hum in his ear at the pleasure you feel. “I want you to take everything from me.” 

“I want you to wrap your legs around my neck, I want you to rub my nose in it, I want you to suffocate me, I want—”

“Shit, Jake.” You moan out his name for the first time at the dirty words. They’re a lot to take in only because you know it truly is a lot, or rather, it should be. But you fucking want that too. You want everything from him, you want everything he wants. Everything. “What else?” You urge him to keep talking.

“I want you to pull my hair,” He says, instantly feeling your fingers slide up his neck and into the thick of it, tugging immediately. “I want you to make it fit here too.” He continues, curling his fingers inside of you, thrusting his own hips against the dense air in your apartment. 

You moan again at his hot words. You’re overwhelmed by how much you want more, how much you’d let him, right here, right now. 

“Keep going,” You sing out, feeling it in your stomach and knowing that this familiar feeling is so much better than you’ve ever felt before. “Tell me, Jakey, fuck–” You continue, huffing at the way his fingers quicken even more. 

“Sound so pretty saying my name, fuck,” He groans now, more level than before as he feels your legs close around his arm, fingers relentlessly hitting the soft spot inside of you. “Tell me that I’d never hurt you, that only I can make you feel like this.”

You nod aggressively as your brain hits a wall, unable to fulfill his request. Every muscle in your body tenses in pleasure as you begin to shake, moving your own hips against his fingers and tugging his hair harder without intention. 

He moans out at how tight you hold him, wanting nothing more than to lay you out and bury himself into you, to feel your pussy jerk him off. 

“Feels so good, baby, right?” He continues to talk, feeling your tight walls try to push his fingers out with each threat of your build up, his mind is spinning. “Say it–” He stutters, feeling his own body react the same way yours is. “Fuck, please, say that you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.” You whisper out of breath against his ear, the hot breath sending him overboard as he immediately pulls his fingers from you and grips his cock instead, ignoring your whimper of the lost build up.

“Yeah,” He cries out, thrusting his hips against his hand. “So let me– please, please let me.” 

His face looks so broken when you stare at him in shock, eyes pleading for you to give him all of it. To give him everything right now. How could you fucking say no to that expression? How could you ever say no to him? 

And still, with your orgasm half-fulfilled, you’re entirely enamored with the way you instantly want it too. As if you’re rushing head first into a brick wall with him, and you stop just to think for a moment.

Should you? 

Do you intend to keep this man forever? Do you want him to leave? Would you be able to picture a day without him? 

It confirms in your brain right then and there. You do intend to keep him. You don’t want him to leave. You could never picture a day without him at this point. 

If he wants to have sex with you right now? Why not? You’re sure that if he is truly wanting to stay, sooner or later you’ll feel him pumping inside of you. Why should it matter that it happens now rather than tomorrow? Or next week? Or even next month? 

Instantly upon your snap decision, you stand on shaking legs, watching him watch you. His hand gripping himself harshly to prevent a pathetic and untouched orgasm, cheeks flushed, eyes glassy. 

You smile, dropping your pants, panties, and then lifting your shirt right up and over your head. All he does in response is wince, grip the base of his cock harder, and try to focus on not spilling and wasting his cum on your floor. Brain only slightly trying to distract him with the idea of grabbing those sticky panties to suck them clean. 

“Really?” He chokes, out of breath and standing up, swiping your panties up quickly and crumpling them in his hand.

Then, you feel one hand on you after he drops his length, and the other rubbing those same wet panties against your skin, as if he has a death grip on them and you. Still, he walks you right back to the window and against it, speaking in that same, needy and shaking breath. “Baby, are you sure?” 

You look away, feeling vulnerable and shy but so willing, so ready when you nod and throw your leg around his waist as if to tell him that you’re more than sure. 

He gives you a breathy chuckle, pulling back just to lift his shirt off of him, hang your panties at the base of his cock, and then he grabs your leg and holds it in place. “Right here?”

He can’t tell if he’s even alive right now, with your pussy sitting spread open right up against him as you let him hold you here, your ass is probably looking great for the camera right now. Your panties feel so good in their rightful place, dangling just in front of his balls. You feel so good in your rightful place, right up against the wall with him trapping you here. 

You nod again, pressing your hips forward, proving to him how hungry you feel for him right now. Finally feeling dirty and not hating yourself for it.

“Right here.” You confirm, tuned into his lips and leaning forward to lick against them. “That’s what you want, right?”

He’s stunned by how you take control while still being somehow submissive to him about it. Almost like you’re shaming him for wanting it, almost like you don’t want to admit that you want it too. 

“Is that what you want?” He asks, trying hard not to think about how you’ve shifted entirely within the span of however long it’s been since the two of you started this. Is this how you act when you're horny? 

“How could I not?” You confirm again with a confident tone, watching your boyfriend break in front of you. “Look at you.”

Jake can’t bear to look at himself, he knows he looks just about as pathetic as he’s always wanted. Never quite able to feel pathetic enough to satisfy him, only now understanding why he chased and chased the feeling to have you like this. 

Controlling whether he can stick his dick in you, controlling whether he can fuck off and die. 

That’s how it’s supposed to be in a relationship, but somehow it’s something else between both of you. For him, it’s like you’ve intentionally edged him for an entire week and for you it’s like you finally have control over your own sexuality again. 

You feel powerful, and Jake wants to be entirely at your mercy. 

“No one has ever wanted me this bad and waited.” You finally say to his intense and loving stare. “I want to give you anything you want.”

If he had a tail, it would be wagging so fast right now. It’s like he’s being given a treat for being exactly who you needed him to be, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop doing it. 

“I could wait longer,” Jake mumbles, inching his lips to yours and letting his other hand cup one of your tits. “You could make me suffer,” He continues, whispering it right into your mouth. “Could lock me up and starve me of it.”

You lean your face back, a little shocked at his choice of words there. 

“So you meant those things you said earlier?” You ask, remembering how he babbled on about wanting you to suffocate him, about how he wanted you to take everything from him. 

“Do you want me to be honest?” He counters, now pressing his hips forward and letting his cock weep against your thigh. 

You nod to him. 

“I want you to take it all out on me.” He admits, gripping your tit in his hand tighter, hiking your leg up higher. “I want you to control every aspect of my life.”

Honestly, it shouldn’t be a thought that brightens your brain but it does. It sounds toxic, and you can’t even tell if he’s saying this just because he’s horny and is about two seconds from slamming you up and against this window with the force of his cock alone. Somehow, you love the thought of all of it. 

“Every aspect?” You ask with interest. “What do you mean?”

He chuckles as he hangs his head, watching his length pulse constantly against your thigh and the panties hanging off of it. Only then does he release your tit and use your panties as a way to position his cock up, lining up with the wet of your core that is only for him.

“It means–” He starts, sliding into you with a paused moan, hiccuping slightly as he furrows his brows. “I want you to make me cry for you.” He continues with a tilt to his head as he watches the way you wince at all of the strength he has to hold you up like this, to slide into you like this. “I want you to hurt me, and I want you to love doing it.”

He bottoms out after that, holding you in place and feeling your walls struggle to adjust to the tight fit. 

“It’s what you deserve.” He soothes out to you, kissing you once. “To take someone the same way you’ve been taken.”

You recoil instantly, pussy restricting in horror at the reminder of why you never do this with another person, but god the way he lifts on his toes just to plunge somehow deeper into you. The way his lips trap you even more, the way his force is nothing but fucking amazing to feel. All you can do is moan, bump your head against the window, and squeeze him. 

“You said you wanted to give me what I want–” He slides out of you just a little bit. “So, can you?” He pushes back in, listening to you get wetter at his words and feeling your answer when you can’t seem to speak for yourself. 

“I said I’d never hurt you, love,” He coos out this time, watching your body shift up against the window as he picks up some sort of rhythm, taking you the way he’s always wanted you. Right here, against the window. “But I never said that you couldn’t hurt me.”

Why the fuck is that so hot? God, why does a man like Jake offer you so much? Why is he doing this to you? Why is he doing it to himself? Why do you love it? 

You find yourself nodding as you moan out, still not quite adjusted to his size and the way he made it fit into you in such a…pleasurable way. It doesn’t hurt at all, it feels good. 

“Yeah, I knew you would.” He continues to talk as if he’s not internally losing it, but months worth of pretending, several orgasms today alone, and having your pussy hugging him just as tightly as he knew it would? That’s helpful. 

And now, as your fingers grip at him through his harsh and deep thrusts, all he can do is hold your leg against him, lean forward, and stare directly into his apartment window. As if he’s mocking his former self, as if everything in the world has fallen into place. You wouldn’t leave him now, never, you’d be just as stupid as everyone else if that were the case. 

He has faith in you, in himself, in this, and the way you drip all over him. 

He knew you’d be perfect for him. 

It doesn’t take long, really, for him to pull an orgasm out of you when he’s doing it this good. In fact, you don’t even have to reach a hand down to help pull it out of you by the time your body begins to stiffen up at it. 

His pace is slow, his cock is deep, and fuck his entire body is on you. You couldn’t squeeze your hand down if you tried, in fact, you don’t think he’d even consider letting you do any of this on your own. 

His grip is so strong, you can feel your sweat stick to the window as you slam your head down on his shoulder, sliding up and down the window with each of his powerful thrusts. 

It feels so good to do this again.

“Jake–” You hiccup against his neck, listening to his heaved and choked breaths through each thrust. “I wish I had done this sooner.” You manage to get out, body tensing and relaxing by the minute with the threat of an orgasm. “I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

And honestly, you don’t know what’s gotten into you, nor do you fucking care. If you want to cry, you’ll fucking cry. It’s been too long since your tears hit you out of pleasure, or happiness, or fucking safety. At this rate, you’ll never let this man go. 

“I know baby, I know.” He soothes you, arms shaking as he holds you up and thrusting in as deep as he can go.

You feel him stutter in his pace, his hips stopping as you feel his heavy cock pulsate against your clenching walls. 

“Are you close?” He says, pulling back and looking at you. “Is that why you’re sorry?”

You look at him with glassy eyes, smiling dazed at him as you shake your head. 

“No,” You smile wider, running your hands up and into his hair, remembering what he asked for before. You tug, forcing his head to tilt back so that you can attach your lips to him. “I’m saying it because I want you to always make me feel this good.” You whisper against his pulse point, kissing it hard. 

You feel him lose composure at that, his hips immediately moving again, slamming up and into you so hard that you can’t even hold your head still enough to kiss him there again. 

“Ah, fuck,” He whimpers out, “why would you fucking say that to me right now?” He continues, relentlessly fucking himself against the soft and sensitive spot inside of you. “You still make me feel so insane, only you could do this to me.”

You smile, having learned that he appears to love the torture anyway. 

“You love it though, don’t you Jakey?” You say, loving the way he loses it for you, learning how badly he’s wanted this, seeing him intend to stay. 

And at those words, he can’t take it anymore. Fuck the camera, fuck anything else in the world that isn’t you. He ignores that wince on your face when he slips out of you, ignores the way the panties fall from his length, and focuses entirely on the way you hug him as he carries you straight to the couch. 

Right there, he drops you and watches the way your tits bounce at the motion. 

“I’m fucking obsessed with you.” He says, feeling the arousal run through his veins, knowing you’d love to hear him say that while never knowing just how true it is. “How are you real?”

You smile, hiding your face as you feel his hands hold your thighs open. You know what he��s looking at, and you can’t force yourself to see him do it. Solely because you know it’s going to swell your heart so big that you’d only fear the day he wants to leave it empty.

And you don’t respond either, because you can’t. His fingers are spreading you open and you can hear him drop to his knees yet again for you. You wan’t to look so bad, but still, you fear the love in his eyes.

You fear and want all of it. 

He hears the sharp inhale you give when he spreads you out, really inspecting the single spot on your body that no one on this earth should ever see aside from him. 

“This is where it hurt the most, isn’t it?” He asks, staring into the hole he’s already fucked, watching it beg him for more despite his words that probably stab your soul. 

You’ll never understand how he can take your pain and turn it into something you don’t mind hearing though. Yes, that’s where it hurt the most, and still, that’s where you want him the most. 

“Yeah, baby?” He asks again, reaching an arm up and forcing you to look at him. “This is what you were so afraid of?” He continues, dipping down and rubbing his face directly into the folds and inhaling a deep breath. 

“Y-yeah.” You choke out at the feeling, in awe of how you knew his eyes would make you terrified. He still stares up at you as he does it, pointing his glare straight through you and into your fucking spirit.

Only Jake can make you fear nothing else in this world aside from the thought of losing him. 

“I’ll make it better,” He says, boosting his ego at the way your legs wrap around his head. “You’ll always want me here,” He continues, cooing out with each taste and lick of your budding arousal. “You’ll never want me to stop–” 

No man has ever wanted you this bad while having you, even as you experienced the trauma of just that. Your ex wanted you physically, but something about the man drying to drown himself in your pussy right now makes you feel like he wants you on a level far deeper than what’s possible.

He’s eating you out like he wants to eat you whole. Like he could devour you, and never spit you out of his mouth. 

“Shit, shit–” You moan, hands shooting down to his hair yet again, finding yourself loving the way his grown-out roots feel softer than the harsher dyed section of his hair. You tug harder than you have before, feeling his tongue search and yearn for everything you have to offer him. 

“Mhm.” He mumbles with a mouth full of pussy, rolling his eyes back at how you do just as he suggested before. Rubbing his nose in it, letting him continue to lose himself in the point of all of his problems. 

And it’s as if you forgot that this only happens to reach a point of coming. The experience alone feels like one long and drawn out orgasm already, it doesn’t take anything at all for him to get you there. 

It’s like he already knows it too, because you go entirely silent with a held breath as he holds your hips and buries his tongue deep inside of you. He wants to feel it, he wants to taste it. And he suffers for it, really, neglecting his own cock and knowing he’s going to come through this alone anyway. 

As expected, he does. Upon the first gush of your slick hitting his tongue, his cock pulses, his balls squeeze up, and he can feel it shoot out of him each time your pussy shakes against his suffocated mouth.

And your hands, so perfect in his hair, pulling without even knowing. You’re everything he’s ever wanted, this is more than he could have ever asked for. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

By this point in your relationship, the two of you have moved so quickly that it doesn’t even scare you. In fact, if it slowed down at any point, you’d probably be preparing a suicide note simply because you don’t want to be in this world without Jake. 

Since the first time you got intimate with him, it’s like it hasn’t stopped. You’re shocked at his thirst for you and even more shocked that someone so fucking perfect would waste his breath on you even for this long. 

It hasn’t been that long, really, since the first time you touched him. A few days at most, but it’s like that moment solidified a lot for the two of you.

One, he’s not going to be sleeping in his own bed anytime soon or, ever, really. Two, you’ve learned through at least two more sessions of Jake’s mouth on you that he really does want you to live up to his requests. He makes it known how badly he wants you to make him suffer, how badly he needs you to give him everything he wants. Thankfully, he’s patient with your reluctance. And Three, your ex is no longer a threat. 

Each message you receive, you just hand your phone to Jake and he takes care of it. 

It doesn’t even translate in your head that you’ve been barred from answering your mother’s calls until the police show up at your door for a wellness check. Where, of course, Jake answers,

“Yeah, she’s here.” You hear his voice as you lay flat against your bed, heaving breaths as if he didn’t just have the tip of his dick in you. “Why?” You hear him question. 

A few more muffled words and you hear the door close and his footsteps making his way to your room. 

“Cops.” He dead-pans, “Your mom thinks you're dead.” he adds with an eye roll. 

Your internal panic, a feeling you had once been so accustomed to that now feels almost foreign, takes over your body.

“Fuck, my mom!” You say in a fast breath, rushing onto your feet and throwing on a pair of his soiled sweatpants. 

Jake hangs back but listens to your conversation from your hallway, listening intently to how you speak to other men, cops or not. 

“Yeah,” You say, scratching your temple with shame. “I guess I didn’t realize she was calling me so much.” 

Try five times a day. 

“I’ll call her now, sorry for wasting your time.” You continue with that nervous chuckle that you used to use on him during your dates. 

And then you’re back in the room, looking at him with a raised brow. 

“Why didn’t you tell me my mom has been calling?” You ask, a little annoyed that it’s gotten to the point of freaking your mother out. 

Jake shrugs, then looks at you apologetically. 

“I don’t like when she forces you to talk about it.” He finally says, sulking his shoulders and huffing out. “I don’t like that she tells you to be careful around me.”

You roll your eyes, relieved that he’s just being himself and wanting to keep you happy. 

“Still, you should have told me. She’s going to have a fucking heart attack thinking he showed up at my work place again.”

Jake’s entire brain stops working, his body going rigid as if the cold air outside is hitting him in full force. 

Your eyes immediately widen as you slam your hand over your mouth. Fuck, you forgot that you told her in a hushed tone, explaining that it’s okay. That Jake wouldn’t let anything happen to you. 

Fuck. 

“He what?” Jake says, dumbfounded at the slip of your words. 

“Jake, wait–” You try to get an explanation but he’s not having it. 

“You haven’t been at work, what do you mean he showed up?” He glares, chest heaving as his heart rate picks up. 

“It was from that day when you first stayed over,” You look at the floor apologetically. “I didn’t want to talk about it…” You trail off, feeling his energy hit you in the face at how he’s completely shifted from that loving, soft boyfriend you’re so used to. 

“You kept that from me!?” He seethes out in disbelief. This whole time he thought he fucked your ex up enough to prove what would happen if he even fucking tried it. By you explaining that it happened just after Jake found him, that’s a direct insult.

A threat.

A fucking death wish.

“I didn’t–” You stutter trying to explain yourself. “I didn’t think it would matter since you were here. You were keeping me safe.” 

“You lied to me?” He continues interrogating you, coming up to you and practically demanding an answer through his eyes.  

You look away, nodding. 

“You said you wanted me to keep you safe, what would have happened if you had to go to work again?” He drones on and on, seemingly stuck on the fact that you didn’t tell him. “What would happen if they called you to go in today?” 

Already you’re starting to cry, feeling stupid for not making a bigger deal out of it. To be fair, not talking about it helped and you did intend to tell him at some point. That just…never happened. 

“I would have asked you to stay with me at work.” You say, feeling numb as the fear of losing the man in front of you steals your every thought. “I’d have not gone. I’d have quit. I don’t know!” 

Jake backs down at your words, only able to soften his rage if you’re the one who causes it. 

“Baby,” His soft voice shocks you when you feel him come back to himself, as if to comfort the fear he just instilled in you. “I’m not mad.”

Yes he is, you know he is. 

“Now you’re the one lying.” You argue, pushing him away only to feel his grip on you tighten. 

“Am I?” He asks, urging you to keep talking. “Are you mad at me now?” He continues, intentionally pushing your buttons. 

“Mad that I should have already known?” 

“Mad that I didn’t let you talk to your mom?” 

“Mad that I’m keeping you safe, while you keep putting yourself in the position to be hurt by him again?” 

You stare at the floor. 

“Mad that this is your fault?” 

Yeah, you are mad. 

“Fuck you, Jake.” You break, feeling his strangling fingers on your skin scratch and leave welts when you force yourself away from him. “Fuck you for all of that.”

“What else?” He presses, hanging on specific words. “Fuck me for what else?” 

You just stare at him, and he can see the anger in your eyes. 

“For not being there when it happened?” He asks gently. “For not killing him when I had the chance?”

When he had the chance. 

“What do you–” You try to ask, but he just continues, closing back in on you. 

Somehow, you need it, despite wanting to pull away every time. 

“Fuck me for wanting this from you, right?” He says, much closer to you and dipping down to kiss you. “Fuck me for wanting you to be this mad, hmm?” 

You break again, something deep within you spiraling into a different type of insanity you’ve never felt. You don’t feel trauma, you don’t feel scared, you feel…enraged.

“Fuck me for thinking you look perfect,” He whispers against your lips. “Fuck me to fuck me, fuck me to fight me, fuck me.” 

The repeated words fit into your brain like they belong there. Like this anger is supposed to be filling you with pleasure rather than dread. Like you’re supposed to feel just as in love as you are mad. 

“Just fuck me, baby.”

And god fucking dammit. How does he crawl into the depths of your brain, like a fucking roach, and kiss all of the areas you don’t know exist? How the fuck does he wake shit up inside of you that you never dreamed of having, or feeling, or wanting.

“I hate you.” You say, and meaning it too. 

Because you don’t think you’ve ever loved someone more than you do now. 

“Yeah, I bet you do.” He smiles, dipping his hand down into the sweats you put on and sliding into the same slick he had spilling out of you just before the pigs showed up. “I love it.” He chuckles against your lips when you refuse to moan at his touch. 

You’re pushing against every good feeling inside of you right now, thinking only of how this rage spills out of you and against his fingers. 

“So wet to hate me–” He says, pressing and pressing and pressing for you to just fucking– “Hit me.” 

He sees your eyes shine at the very thought of how badly you must want to do that, unknowing of how much he wants it too. Needing it almost. 

And oh, the moan he lets out when your weak hands raise to shove him back. He plays off of it, stumbling back to your bed just to fall on it. Waiting, knowing you’ll come take him for all he’s worth.

“Come on, love.” He encourages you. “Make me sorry.” 

You hate him, and you hate that you love it. Love that he loves it, fucking adore that he wants this, he wants to let you do whatever you want to him. 

To kick, cry, scream, release everything that’s been trapped in your head for years.

You don’t even falter, feeling it bubble up and overtake every thought. Dripping down your legs as if this is the only way you could ever fulfill your own pleasure again. Only now to you slide the pants back off of you, so horny out of your mind that all you can manage is to feel these emotions drip for him. 

He watches you straddle him bare from the waist down, sees your breath shaking, and your lips quivering.

Jake knew you had it in you. 

“Take them off.” You demand, rolling your eyes at the way he looks up at you with pure bliss.

“Hit me first.” He offers, feeling his cock strained against his own pants that he haphazardly threw on when he heard the knock at your door. “Hit me, and I’ll fuck the hate out of you.” He lies.

“Take them off.” You repeat, cold hands reaching down as you do it yourself, lifting just enough to shove them down far enough.

And god, the breath is knocked clean out of him with the way you just take him. You slide down perfectly, bottoming him out in one motion. He can see now that you need this perhaps even more than he does. 

“God, come on baby.” He moans, feeling you just sit still on him. 

“Jake,” You warn, running your cold hands up to his neck on instinct. “Shut up.” You squeeze. 

The smile that forms on his face is pornographic at best, and drunk at worst. You see him love every instant of it, and you don’t want to admit that you do too.

You didn’t know it would feel so good to have a man’s neck in your hands, squeezing it just to shut him up. Releasing it just to hear him gasp out a praise. 

“So good,” He praises, eyebrows knitted together as he loses himself to the way your pussy chokes his length. You’re not even fucking him, you’re just– “So perfect.” He continues, nearly wailing out at the immense love he feels inside. 

And then, you do. You hit him. Power hungry and entirely at a loss for your own pleasure, you land a harsh and loud slap right against his face, only for him to moan louder. 

Only for him to fuck up. 

Only for him to grip your sheets so tight that you hear a rip. 

Again. You slap him, feeling your anger slowly fizzle with each frantic moan he gives back. 

Again, and again.

“Shit, you love that, don’t you?” He manages to say, feeling his cheeks sting with red-hot passion, only to be hit again, and again. “God, make it hurt.” 

At this point, you know that you could never give him enough as the rage leaves your body entirely and it’s replaced with nothing but the need to just….fuck him. Never in your life have you ever been blinded by a need so badly, save for safety.

And you have that now, don’t you? You have Jake now, right where you want him, right he wants to be. He wants you to feel this, he made you feel this. 

The first bounce felt like pure agony, slamming his cock into you by your own force, feeling him stretch you open, hearing it slap and echo against the walls. 

“Make it hurt?” You finally say, pinching his cheeks together and forcing him to look at you. “I don’t think I could hurt you enough if I tried.” You admit, quite truthfully, mind you.

Jake gives you a crooked smirk. 

“Try it anyway.” He coos, feeling the way you repeatedly arch your back just to ride him faster. “Could fill you up, right here, right now, flip you over and make you take it if you’re so worried that you can’t.” 

It runs through you like a cold shiver. You don’t want to give up this power, you want to try. 

“That’s big talk for someone asking to be choked right now.” You dead-pan at him, voice even and calm. You continue to move your hips, listening to his repeated moans with each breath. “So loud and needy for it too.”

Jake nods proudly and drunkenly, reaching his hands out to yours and forcing them back on his neck. 

“I could be needier.” He says, pressing your hands against his airways. 

You take over for him, choking his remaining words out of him and forcing him to moan. 

“You said you’d make me take it?” You seethe out through your own pained moan, riding him so hard that you feel sensitive. “Like you think it would hurt me?” 

He shakes his head rapidly, implying that you’re wrong to think that. Wanting to tell you that if he made you take it, you’d love every second of it. You wouldn’t tell him no. 

“After promising you never would, Jake?” You question still, knowing he can’t answer. You squeeze harder as you watch his face darken, the blood rushing to burst in the whites of his eyes. “Is that it? You want to hurt me so that I hurt you back?”

He nods in a daze, wanting nothing more than to die like this now, or some other day. To hear your voice, feel your hands, and know that you’re fucking him through it. 

“You don’t scare me.” You finally say, releasing the grasp and listening to the sharp inhale he takes in. “As much as I wish you did, you don’t.” 

That’s all it takes really, knowing that he could work you like a puppet and you’d still love him. Why else would you say that? You wouldn’t fuck him like this if you didn’t mean it. Your mother long forgotten, the anger gone, it’s just a raw form of you and him right now. 

Everything you’re saying is more truthful than he ever thinks you’ve been with him. 

“Want me to?” He finally asks with a wet gasp as he continues to catch his breath. “I bet I could.”

“You can’t.” You say, now slowing your hips as your legs tire out, bracing yourself on his shoulders to take a breath. 

“I can.” He says, immediately overpowering you. He sits up quick, flipping you right over and onto your back. “I can make you feel anything I want.” He whispers darkly to you. He grabs your legs and pushes them to your chest, lost entirely from this reality. “Anything you want.” 

You just stare up at him, willing to accept his words even more when he slams his length into you, so deep that you feel nothing but the pain of it. 

For the first time, he’s hurting you through pleasure alone. 

“Could make you love it too,” He continues to dote on himself as he watches the sparkle in your eye dim. “You love it already, don’t you?”

“I’m not afraid.” You manage to mutter out through a guttural groan, wincing at the way he drives himself into you at such a speed that all you feel is pain. 

“I can’t take you seriously when you talk like that.” He chuckles, feeling entirely in control of whatever entity is running his body right now. “I see you baby, you’re terrified to lose me.” 

Your eyes die in that moment, because out of anything in this world, he’s pinpointed your biggest fear. 

“So pretty when you’re scared too,” He hums out, not relenting at all with the force of his hips when he lets your legs fall around him, and he finds himself burying his face between your tits. “Maybe I should threaten to leave you.”

Instantly, you cry. 

“Just so I can eat up these little tears you have for me.” 

You wish he would shut up. 

“So I can taste the way you come on me, and feel your pussy try and lock me here.” He smooths over your nipple at the words, slowing his hips and pulling out just to the tip. “Your body tells me more than you know, love.”

Your eyes roll up when his pointed thrust shoves your body across your sheets, your hands reach for his shoulders, clawing for any sense of normality to this moment. 

“So quiet.” He lightens his own voice now, letting it fall against your collarbone in a tone just above a whisper. “So stubborn.” 

Your mind awakens at the insult, hoping he’s right. 

“To think I’d ever leave you.” He smiles, lifting up to meet your lips. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He tastes your tears and it’s just enough for him to forgive you. 

To forgive you for not hitting him enough, for not choking him until he died. To forgive you for even thinking you’d need to talk to your mother, and for fucking lying to him. 

And only now does he go quiet, fucking you will full intent now that he’s already in your head at every turn and corner. He can tell with the way you don’t even realize your previous orgasm. 

With the way it bubbled out and down his balls, hugging his cock so tightly that all he could do was keep fucking with your mind, toying with threats only to silence them. 

And then, you inhale a sob, and breathe out his name, so pretty to your ears, even more beautiful to his own. 

“Don’t leave me.” You chime out, body numb and emotions threatening you into a panic attack.

“I’m right here, love.” He chuckles. “You’re shaking.” 

You are. More than you can even comprehend, your body is shaking from feeling everything and nothing at once, all the way up until you do feel something. 

“Ah, shit.” You cry out, hugging his body so tightly against you. “Right there–”

And Jake does it, angling his hips to repeatedly hit the spot inside of you. Knowing you’re sensitive, knowing you can take it, knowing that he can’t when he feels every drop in your body push him out of you. 

Instantly he plunges back in, listening to the wet sounds of all that love you must have for him. He can barely move in this suffocating hug as your body shakes and quivers more than it ever has, even through your past traumas, even through the cold nights this city offers. 

He has spent you and fucked you dry. 

“There she is,” He echoes into your ear. “The girl of my dreams.” 

The only energy left in you is enough to give him a smile before your tunnel vision fades into nothingness. 

It feels calm in the darkness he gives you, and even calmer when you wake up feeling as if all of this was a dream. 

It wasn’t though, because you can feel the way you’re still leaking all over your bed. Your own slick mixed with his, and you don’t even remember when or how he orgasmed because he certainly was taking his time before you initially fainted, but you’re glad he did. You think he is too, with the way he clings to you like a puppy, as if he didn’t just fuck reality straight out of you. 

Lending you the gift of floating, and of pain you find yourself to love. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Waking up the next morning felt like you were a new person and you couldn’t be happier to see the saddest version of you die. The only fear you need to have is that Jake may some day choose to leave, and he said himself that he never would. 

You trust him more than anyone, more than yourself even, considering he’s managed to force you into facing so many versions of yourself that you didn’t even know you had. 

This is the first morning you’ve woken up without your skin crawling and you can’t help but shake him awake, destroying that blushed and sleeping face of his. 

“Jake,” You shake him, feeling him stir instantly and lend you a crooked smile. “Wake up.”

You listen to his morning stretch as his body vibrates in a yawn, and then he’s nuzzling his face even further into your naked chest. 

For what feels like hours, you find yourself engaging in pillow talk. Logging into work? Long forgotten. Calling your mother? Forgotten. The pain in your body? Ignored.

You tell him everything. Every detail of your life, your first memory, your first laugh and cry. All of the times your heart has been shattered, your least favorite colors and favorite words in the world. And he just…listens.

He nods, he smiles, he coos and kisses you throughout all of it. 

And then–

“You know, a while back before we met, I came home and noticed some of my things were missing and messed with. I can’t help but feel like he’s known where I’ve been this whole time.” 

Jake stiffens in your grasp before relaxing. It happened so fast that you don’t think anyone but you would have noticed it.

“Some of my panties were gone, and the batteries in my toys went missing weeks ago–not that it matters now or anything.” You continue, watching his face intently. “ At first I thought that maybe I was just forgetful but– now i know that it really was him.” You pause, smiling at him. “I’m just kind of waiting now, wondering if he’s ever going to try and do it again.”

“Do you want me to kill him?” Jake chuckles out as if to offer a funny little solution, one that he has genuinely considered more times than he can count. And he should have already, honestly.

You feel warmer at the way he makes jokes, but you know better than anyone that Jake jumps into action driven only by rage at times.

“He won’t come near you again, love, haven’t I proved that to you already?” He continues, imagining the blood of his man on his fists again. Imagining the way his bones would crack so beautifully. 

You nod in an almost shy way to him.

“You’re safe with me.” He says, wrapping his arms around himself as you cradle him. “You’re safe with me.” He continues, repeating it more to himself because he feels as though he can’t fail you again, “You’ve always been safe.” 

You haven’t believed words so deeply until you met him. 

“He already fucking knows–” He whispers shortly, cutting himself off. “I’ll kill him.” He whispers a bit louder, uncaring if you heard that first slip of his words.

Something in your brain floods at those words. A confirmation that you’ve seen him break before, and it wasn’t your imagination. Your protective, loving, and sweet boyfriend has a side to him that you’ve yet to truly see. Those words were more believable than any of the sweet things he’s ever said to you. 

And still, you almost want to encourage it, reminding yourself of the image of your ex the day he showed up, all bruised up. And then to the image of Jake with his own little battle scar.

Deep down you think you knew what happened.

And you still wonder how such a perfect man fell into your lap? Your bruised up, pain-loving boyfriend, breaking his soft persona and showing you a glimpse of something that feels….unnervingly beautiful to you.

Unsure, almost, you feel. As happy as you are that he lied to you, you try to not think of how Jake found your ex with nothing more than an out-of-context description of your abuse. You try not to think of the way he looked away from you when you mentioned the items in your apartment that went missing. 

You try not to think about how close he lives to you, and how he always managed to show up when you couldn’t hang out. 

How all of his interests matched your own, up until he never spoke about them again when he started staying with you. 

How he only looks at you, how he only talks to you, and about you.

How he always knew what to say to you.

You try not to think about how you saw him toss his own laundry into your washer many nights ago, seeing a glimpse of what you thought could have been a pair of your own missing panties. Or how he always accidentally picked up your toothbrush rather than his own in the mornings.

You push those thoughts far into the back of your mind, knowing that you were just being paranoid, grasping to not trust a single person in this world as you fall into this life with him. Even if all of those instances were with purpose on his end, you know you’d simply accept them as normal. You’d accept him, you wouldn’t think twice. 

Jake is your only safety. He would never do anything to harm you, he’s proved that. 

You hold his head tighter against your chest, breathing out a sigh and accepting everything at face value, pushing back the slight doubt in your head that everything he has done for you, to you, and with you, isn’t normal. 

“Did you tell him already?” You sigh out in a calmer tone, soothing him with your fingers in his hair. “That you’d kill him? Is that really why you had that bruise?”

Jake stiffens under your grasp briefly. 

“What do you m–” He starts. 

“I won’t ask how,” You cut him off. “But thank you.”

He relaxes, thumbs now rubbing hearts into your skin, stomach bubbling in butterflies. 

“I did.” He now admits reluctantly, feeling dangerously close to a truth you don’t need to see or know about. “I couldn’t just let another person think that you still belong to them.”

You pause, then nuzzle closer to him. 

“I knew from the first time I saw you that I wouldn’t let anyone else touch you.” He continues, spilling and spilling. “I knew that you’d be mine.”

You try not to think too hard about it, asking out gently and instead choosing to just love him harder.

“When was the first time you saw me?”

Jake goes silent and tries to read the air in the room, sensing how relaxed you are against him. 

“Eighteenth of October at the supermarket. We both made spaghetti for dinner that night.” He lies, never intending to admit that the first time he saw you was through your window. Never admitting that he actually already knew you by that eighteenth of October. That he followed you to the market.

He says it so confidently, and the fact that he’s right about what you cooked should scare you. The fact that you must have seen him that day too should make you feel unnerved.

You choose to ignore that too. 

“Was your spaghetti good?” You ask, allowing yourself to spiral into the safety that he offers you. The image of your bruised ex boyfriend bringing joy to you, the idea of Jake keeping his promises making your stomach tingle with even brighter joy.

“No.” He admits with a chuckle. “Yours was probably better.”

“You really would kill him, wouldn’t you?” 

Jake nods.

You trust him. 

He’s not lying. 

He would never lie to you. 

Him knowing what you cooked that night is a coincidence. Him remembering the date and month is just him being mindful. Your lost panties must have gotten tangled in his laundry, surely. He found your ex because you probably let sensitive information slip without realizing it. 

He met your mother and uncle by coincidence. 

He’s the perfect man by chance, and you’re lucky to have him. 

“I love you, you know.” You say, feeling him immediately shift away from your chest to look at you.

The look in his eye when he’s immediately getting on top of you, it’s still as if he’s about to wisp away with you in his arms to another realm. You’ve already been there before, and your body warms at the thought. 

“What did you say?” He asks, voice shaking and somewhat far away from your own dissociated reality. 

“I love you.” You say again, watching his lips quiver, and feeling his hands squeeze you. 

He did it. He’s won. 

And at the end of the day, you don’t think Jake could ever lose. After all, you’ve never felt so safe in a grasp as tight as this one, as painful as this one. You’ve never wanted a man to leave his fingerprints on you so bad. 

As you look at him, seeing him lose himself from reality, you follow suit. Losing yourself with him, feeling that painful grasp on you turn into begging hands. Swelling him under your palms, soothing his stinging skin with your lips, listening to him encourage you, knowing that if your ex ever tried to step into this room, he wouldn’t make it out alive. 

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

oh, the horrors, amirite?

this is the last of the fic. there is not a part three.

taglist: @skzenhalove , @taetaemylovie, @soocult, @nyanggk, @grilledbananas, @dneltrise, @becc09, @nielle002, @sjyfolder, @sd211, @moonmoongi, @sweetiewolfie, @ksnooppy, @woongkification, @laxatives4hre, @hiddensideofmoon, @mywaaw, @beomstarz, @multifandombtvh, @heeverseblog, @floclover, @elliesuh, @iloveleeknow, @crazydelulu, @dasa3040, @sluttyhee, @bethroedtojae, @cherryunie, @hiamlili, @seojunandsoju, @parksunghoonsgf, @jungwon-xo, @fxiryeon, @jwnghyuns, @juliesblogs

[hyuny-bunny]

cybersex | camgirl! x skz

chapter II • chapter IV

MDNI (18+): this series will depict sex work and acts of sex. content warnings will include the following for this chapter: mention of masturbation, oral (f rec), alcohol, p in v (channie wraps it up this time), use of pet names (angel,baby), afab reader, ass smack (f rec), fingering, groping, aftercare !!, slight crying, squirting, safeword system, restraints (cuffs on reader), cussing, slight choking ?

genre: skz x camgirl!reader, use of she/her/hers

wc: 5.6K

Chapter 3

Jeongin and Seungmin would take their brief walk of shame to their apartment, just down the hall from you. They walked in silence, dragging their feet, heads fuzzy and worn down. Had they really… No, it was a dream, right? Without another word or glance, they returned themselves to their rooms. Jeongin was still hard. All he could think about was the way your lips wrapped around him, sucking him in so tightly. He threw his arm over his eyes and held back a moan as he started palming himself over his sweats. The sound of your moans, the feeling of your tight cunt, and the burning desire to spill every ounce of his cum into your pussy replayed in his mind like a broken record. The image of his cum pushing its way out of your pussy is forever burned into his eyelids, he thinks about how much restraint he felt in that moment when all he wanted to do was bury himself in you, pumping you with more and wanting to feel the way you gripped his cock.

Seungmin down the hall was in the same predicament. His hands had already worked away at himself, pumping to the memory of the way you choked around him. The way it felt to to grip your head in his hands as he used your mouth. All the times he had fantasized about you couldn’t compare to what he had with you tonight. He thinks of all the times he had spent gawking at you, even before your camgirl debut. He had always found you pretty, often trying to put himself in your vicinity giving himself an excuse to brush against you. Catching the way your legs looked in particular shorter skirts and dresses, when his perversions would get the better of him looking straight down your blouse when his height gave him the vantage. His mind wanders to the idea of what could’ve played out if you two had been alone together instead. Maybe even begging Jeongin a little more to have stayed at their apartment so he could enjoy your one on one time, in any case, Jeongin likely would’ve broken the door down to get to the two of you the minute he picked upon Seungmins body. His eyes were too good for him.

Their chance to rub one out is abruptly interrupted by the rapid buzzing of their phones.

hyun: there’s no fucking way

lix: ?

han: ?

chan: you’ve got to be kidding me… there’s no way it was you right?

minho: what ?

changbin: can someone explain?

The group chat was blowing up with questions. Hyunjin and Chan weren’t going to let up in their questions. When you first started your camgirl page, Jeongin was the first to learn and in consequence, he shared it with his hyungs. Sharing things like this wasn’t that big of a surprise, they had all been pretty open with their sex lives, and it just so happened to be that Hyunjin and Felix ran their own NSFW page. Felix remained on Twitter, posting content here and there, his main source was his Patreon subscription as he hadn’t really found the appeal of being live. Hyunjin ran his own live-streaming page, it started off on a bet but he found enjoyment in it and a huge ego boost.

seung: how’d you know ??

jeongin: ^^^ !!!!

hyun: that rosary ring isn’t that hard to spot

minho: CAN SOMEONE FUCKING EXPLAIN INSTEAD OF SPEAKING IN CODE 

seung: im definitely not gonna be the one to tell him…

chan: seungmin and innie were in a camgirl’s stream 

changbin: oH? 

hyun: you know her pretty well minho, im surprised you werent watching tonight.

lix: i think i just heard him audibly gasp

han: keep him away from the baseball bat, im afraid he’s gonna try to break down the apart to kill one of them

minho: im not killing anyone… yet… explain yourselves

minho: you both have ten seconds before i come down to your floor to break your fingers off one by one

—

The next few days were all a blur. You had picked up some extra shifts at work to build your savings again, it was a bit tiresome to jump on live lately. You made a joke to Sana that you felt you ran out of orgasms. You were finding it hard to cum on your own, to find satisfaction with your vibrators or fingers or dildos, it couldn’t compare to the real thing of your previous nights. You tried to go live to edge yourself for a while but ultimately had to fake the orgasm, you just couldn’t find the pleasure in it on your own. You almost caved into texting Seungmin to come by for a redemption quickie as he hadn’t gotten his chance to fuck you the way his roomie had. 

By this point, it had been about a week since you had an orgasm, you were growing irritable and frustrated. Your manager had called you in, asking if you could pick up a few extra hours to train a new hire bartender, begrudgingly you had agreed. Due to the holiday season, the restaurant’s normal rate of traffic had doubled and extra staff was needed. While you normally kept to waiting and serving tables, on occasion you would step up to bar as you were well-liked amongst the patrons and knew just the right ways to keep the orders flowing & the tips pouring. The new hire had already worked in some high-end speakeasies so your curiosity was met with a handsome face and the most charming smile.

“Hi, you must be Chris, I’ll be training you today around the bar and bit of the restaurant. It’s nice to meet you!” You reached a hand out to him to shake. He had to be one of the hottest guy’s you had seen in a long time, he was taller, with biceps you wanted to take bite out of, and a smile that made you feel weak in the knee’s

“Oh please call me Chan. It’s nice to meet you.” He smiled so preciously while shaking your, and dear god his hands were beautifully big, thought of what his hands would feel like roaming your body flashed across your mind before tucking itself away for a later time. 

“So today I just want to go over some of our bar basics, our specialty drinks are, the holiday drinks, and a mini tour of the place.” You return a charming smile of your own to him. 

He knew that you would be nothing short of drop-dead gorgeous, just from the way Minho would blush or fluster over every mention of you or the way the other two youngers were there to elaborate further. Your mask didn’t conceal much of your face but he would have never been able to pinpoint you to your camgirl persona, he’d have to applaud Jeongin later for his sharp eyes. You went over the basics with him, bar upkeep, where items are located, glassware available, and the storage for any quick additional needs that don’t require going to the storage room. He was mesmerized by the way you spoke with such firmness and enthusiasm, he wondered why you had decided to be a server instead when it was clear you had a flirty energy that could only work to your benefit.  

“Any questions so far?” You ask as he finishes rinsing the drinkware you had used from the trial run holiday drink.

“Just one, how are you so unbelievably charming working as a waitress and not a bartender?” He lets a chuckle out while his eyes take in every movement you make. You laugh but there’s a heat rising to your face.

“Oh, really no good reason other than preferring the company of working amongst the rest of my waiter friends. It can feel lonely behind the bar or overwhelming with orders barking at you?”

“You think so? You telling me you wouldn’t prefer to play into your charm to pull some extra tips?”

“I mean… There’s ups and downs to both but uh I find more up’s with the great waiters and kitchen crew, speaking of, let me introduce you to them all before our dinner time starts.” You lead him out from the bar to the kitchen,

He walks behind you admiring the way your hips sway, he drinks you in from head to toe, thinking about all the nights he came to the sight of you riding a dildo while you gripped your tits. Minho is settling his things and putting his chef coat on when you walk in with Chan following behind. 

“Chan, this is Minho, our head chef! He’s actually one of the best cooks in the city, I swear I’ve never had anything like his cooking” You say standing between the two of them, Minho feels butterflies in his stomach with the way you compliment his cooking.

“Oh sorry I forgot to tell you the Minho here is a good friend of mine, he’s the one that recommended me to the manager here, ain’t that right?” Chan reaches out to put a hand on Minho’s shoulder but his hand is quickly swatted away.

“Clean coat, don’t touch. Yes, though if he gives you any shit, come find me and I’ll straighten him, got it, angel?” The angel part rolls off his tongue, too quick for him to catch it.

“Oh uh will do, we’ll leave it to you then, Chef.” You nervously laugh as you usher Chan out of the kitchen. You can’t see the tips of Minho’s ear turning red while Chan laughs at the way you two are so head over heels for each other without knowing how badly Minho’s crush. 

You introduce him to the rest of the staff, finding a pleasant surprise that he is also friends with Seung and Jeongin. Once the restaurant is fully running again for dinner time, you and Sana step away to debrief for a moment.

“So, hes friends with both Minho and the twins?” The twins was a nickname you had given Seungmin & Jeongin now due to the fact that they were often too in sync with eachother.

“That’s what he says. Makes me wonder if Minho knows?”

“He know’s something that's for sure, overheard the twins talking to him today about your trainee and his flirty ways. Something about breaking his kneecaps if he tried anything with you?”

“Tried anything?”

“Rumor has it that our Channie, is a notorious flirt with a winning streak of fucking other bartenders. The only thing is he never sleeps with the ones he works with. Don’t fuck where you work or whatever the saying?” 

“Hmm. You’ll think he’ll fuck a waitress where he works then? This orgasm dry spell is really killing me now.” You ask Sana with a suggestive smile.

“You know, why don’t you just shoot your shot with Minho at this point? It’s clear as day that he likes you, he never yells at you when you need to modify a ticket, always puts your tickets at the front of the line whenever you need, AND always manages to save you a dinner somehow. He’s so into you and it truly baffles me the way you don’t see it.” Sana says with a sigh as she ties her server apron around her waist before opening the back door to let you two back in.

“He’s a good friend! In any case, he’s so far out of my league, I’d feel like I was a pity attempt to settle for less when he can do so much better,” You say rolling your eyes to which Sana kick’s your ass on the way in. She was never one for tolerating you negative attitude towards Minho reciprocating feelings.

The kick is momentarily forgotten when you bump right into Chan’s chest. 

“Hey! Was actually looking for you, I wanted to ask if you wanted to grab a drink with me after work? You know just want to pay you back for the training today” Chan’s hands had settled on you waist when you bumped into him. “My friend’s bar just opened up down the block today and he wanted me to come by tonight, I was hoping you’d want to join me?’

“Sure, I’d love to. I’ll wait for you outside after I’m off.” You smile back at him as his hands drop pulling away to head out that back door into the alley for his own break.

“Well I think that answers the question doesn’t it?” Sana laughed while walking right past you. 

—

The bar wasn’t too far down the street, it was a moulin-rouge-inspired bar called ‘Chaos’. The place lived up to its name when you noticed the ever-growing line, Chan wrapped an arm around your shoulder waving to the bouncer. The bouncer was a bit shorter but even more muscular than Chan. They exchange a few words before Chan introduces you to the bouncer who goes by Changbin, you exchange hello’s before he allows you both in. The line seemed tame in comparison to the inside, girls walked around with trays of shots and drinks, lampshades on their heads, and short-fitted rompers. It felt more lively than a bar and yet tamer than a club. Chan guided you to a booth tucked away in a corner, he sat you down and went off to grab your drinks. 

You surveyed the room, noting the people present. Was it wrong that all you could think about was Minho’s “angel” pet name for you? It was endearing and felt warm coming from him, making you wonder what else he’d call you if you were something more. You're pulled out of your thoughts when a cosmopolitan is brought down into your eyesight, Chan is quick to slide into the seat beside you, his arm finding home once more on the wall above your head.

“Thank you again for showing me around the ropes today, couldn’t have asked for a better mentor.”

“It’s nothing really, I’m glad to hear I excelled in that area. How was the first shift?”

“Better than expected, really, I think I only grabbed the wrong bottle of gin four times before I learned my lesson,” He laughs leaning into you. He’s warm and there’s something so inviting about his energy. You continue taking small sips of your drink while talking, you learn he has a roommate, a very tightly knit friend group that included Minho amongst them, and an adorable king charles dog he named, Berry. 

As you continued talking his hand slowly found its way to your knee, the only thing separating you from feeling his touch were the thinly made tights. He offered you another drink but you denied having felt satisfied with one. 

“I hope I’m not too forward asking this but, you didn’t invite me for just drinks tonight did you?” You ask now placing a hand of your own on his thigh. He laughs, its genuine but he smiles coyly.

“Was I too obvious? I’m sorry, I just… I think you are beautiful and I’d be an idiot to not ask you out tonight” He smiles looking down at your lips, he’s got an arm under you wrapping around your waist to scoot you as close as possible.

“I hate seeing such a beautful girl having to fake an orgasm on live, nobody deserves that.”

Your heart skips a beat, your face is rising in heat and his words are swirling in your head. The words die in your throat when you feel his lips on your own. His lips soft and plush, his hand stays around your waist while using his other hand to bring your leg over his own. The kiss feels feverish, whether that’s from the atmosphere or the way your body has craved to be touched over the past week. Any ability to reason with yourself is out the window when his lips move to your jaw, making their way down your neck. You felt the urge to squeeze your thighs shut when his fingers have reached the tops of your thighs, now toying with the hem of the skirt. Fisting a hand in his hair while he sucks at the spot just below your ear, you pull just enough to earn a groan out of him. His groan is almost pornographic and only leads him to biting down on the spot he had been sucking at so sweetly. He pulls back to look at you, taking you in to scan your face for any sign of not wanting to go further, instead he finds a devilish smirk on your face.

“So, which one of those blabber mouths told you about my 2nd life? Hmm?”

“Actually, neither. I knew about you before, they only served as confirmation.” His hand on your thigh inches further up your skirt finding settlement in feeling you warmth. “Let’s take this back to your place, yeah?”

“How about yours?” You ask as he leans closer into you.

“Roomie will be home right now, don’t want interrupt his beauty sleep. We can put on a little show together anyways.”

“And you want your five minutes of fame too?”

“Baby, it’ll be a lot longer then five minutes.” 

A short uber ride later and you were standing outside your building, as you make your way hope the stairs with keys in hand, you look back to see Chan standing there with a confused look on his face.

“You live here?”

“Yeah, 2nd floor. I thought Seung and Jeongin mentioned that we live across from each other?”

“No they didn’t but uh… I also live here.” Your eyebrow raised at this.

“... what floor?”

“First.”

“I think I may have seen your roamate before then. You know what, nevermind that, can we please go up to mine now? I don’t think you understand you badly I need this tonight.” He laughs at this before rushing up their stairs to meet you by your side, opening the door to let you in first. You don’t make it up to the first stair before he’s turning you around to make you look at him.

“Tell me how bady you need me to fuck you.” He pushed you up against the wall next to the stairs, his lips hovering just over yours. You let a whine out when you feel his hand reaching behind you to grab handful of ass, your hands pawing at his white tshirt, and the sticky pool of wetness seeping its way into your panties.

“Channie, please. Fuck me, please, I need to feel you inside me. Need your cock inside me, make me feel so fucking good please.” He lifts you up by your thighs leaving to wrap your legs around him.

“You sound so fucking hot when you beg. I want your screamig my name tonight when I pound that pretty cunt of yours.” A moan falls from your throat the minute he lifts you up completely to walk you to your apartment. 

You fumbling with the keys with the way hes pressed up right against you, his boner already poking into your back. Once the door is locked, your kicking off shoes and tossing jackets onto the couch before leading him into the room. Turning the lights on to set a moody warm light, setting the camera up to only have your bodies in frame. By the time you look over at Chan, he’s stripped down to his boxers looking at the assortment of toys on your shelf. You see him pick up a pair of black cuffs, they were made of a soft faux leather, they had links on them suited for keeping wrists cuffed or tied up to the bed or, when you felt especially frisky, an arm or leg spreader. You feel shy under his gaze when he comes over to you, his hands are warm sliding under your shirt lifting it over your head. He groans at the sight of your tits said perky in the white and pink lace balconette bra. He begins groping your chest, rubbing your sensitive nips over the thin fabric. You reach out to stroke his cock inside his boxers but hes quick to stop you.

“Tonight’s about you. I’m not stopping until begging me to.” He says while kneeling down to pull your skirt and tights off. He admires how pretty you look in a matching set.

“You’re so beautiful,” He kisses your hip before moving his lips onto your thighs while you stay standing. You move your hand cup his face while he lifts a leg onto his shoulder, he sees the growing wet spot in your panties now, clear as day. He looks up at you smirking before pressing a firm kiss to your pussy just over your panties. He was a tease but god did it feel like ecstasy to have the pressure of his lips right up against where you need him most.

He drops your thigh off his shoulder now standing face to face with you once more, the cuffs are still in hand. Its a wordless question asking to use them on you but you eagerly nod, he plants a kiss to each wrist as he puts them on. He links them together behind your back, going over your safe words opting to use the traffic light safeword system.

“Color?” He asks while placing the lacey white eye mask of your eyes, it was sheer, it only slightly blurred your vision. It was more for your personal comfort to keep your face semi concealed. 

“Green.” He made the final adjustments behind your head tying it snuggly your head, while hitting the live button.

You can hear the buzzing of every comment rolling in but can’t clearly see them. Chan positions you to sit in his lap, directly infront of the camera, your back firmly pressed against his chest. He runs his fingertips down your arms, letting them trail to your legs. He uses his knees to push your own apart so your legs are spread open and draped over his own. You throw your head back against his shoulder allowing his hands to massage your thighs, his finger tips just barely brushing against you. You let out a breathy whine when you feel his fingers pushing your panties to the side gathering your wetness on his fingers. He brings a free hand up to rest softly against your thoat leading you to turn your head to the side to feel his lips your own. Desperate to feel him all at once but letting him take it at his pace. You gasp at the feeling of one of his fingers dipping ever so shallowly in and out of your entrance. He grunts at the feeling of you arching your back against when he feels your ass push further into his hard on. He lets you grind into his hand while you share a filthy kiss. Tongues interwined, his straining cock againts you, and drink in every moan that tumbles past you lips.

You grow needier and whiny with every brush of his fingers inside you, he reluctantly removes them to rid you of your panties completeley. He uncuffs your arms from behind you moving to keep them cuffed in front of you so you arent straining your arms for what hes about to do next. Both your bra and panties are discarded into a corner of the room while he lays you on the fluffy pink comforter. Your hair is splayed out against the fabric, you look like an angel while you wait for him to manuever you in place. You had become putty in his hands, allowing him to place you however he wanted on the bed. Your cunt drips onto the bed when he spreads your legs open once more, thats when you feel his breath fanning over you. You wiggle in place but he puts a firm arm against your abdomen to hold you down in place. 

You attempt to buck your hips up when you feel him press a kiss to your lips but his iron grip on you keeps you still. A peppers a few kisses across your pussy, it only makes you more whiny with no way to get him to give more with your hands cuffed in front of you. He licks long stripes against you causing you to gasp out his name, his cock twitches in his boxers when he hears you cry out for him. He finally caves give your clit flicking motions of his tongue while his hands reach up to play with your tits. All you can do is cry out plea’s of more and his name, it only encourages to continue his torture on your clit. Your body feels like its vibrating with pleasure, from the way his hand gropes your tit and moving his other to play at your entrance. He pulls your lips wide latching his mouth to your entire cunt creating a rapid suction that has you archong your back off the bed, letting a high pitched whine as you feel your orgasm nearing. He finally adds a finger in thrusting it up against your g spot.

“Cum for me, angel. Make a mess of my face.” He moans against your clit, leaving you shaking. You feel the oh so familiar knot in your stomach. He adds a 2nd finger creating more pressure against that spongey part inside you. 

“C-channiee I can’t take it anymore- AH please make me cum.” Your whines and moans are just music to his ears. His tongue is sucking so softly at your clit creating a complete contrast his fingers, you attempt to clamp your thighs around his head but he keeps one firmly down. Your orgams hits you hard. The pressure finally releasing, your skin feels like its tingling, and you cry out ‘fucks’ and ‘oh gods’ it’d make a nun clutch her rosary pearls to her chest. 

It isn’t until your cumming down from your high that you realized you had completely squirted all over the bed and Chan. He doesn’t seem to mind one bit but inside he’s overly elated by his abilities. He’s kissing up your still tingling body, when he reaches your neck he whispers in your ear.

“Color?”

“Green, for the love of god, I need your cock inside me right now.” He lets a chuckle out before standing up to fetch a condom from his jeans. His cock is aching to be touched, his atttempts to grind into the bed while eating you out were futile. He’s back on top of you , now free from the restraints of his boxers. He’s perfectly alined with the camera, capturing his size. His cock was not the longest but had a girth that was undeniable. He rolls the condom on looking at the comments pouring in about how big he is, some showing concern for your ability to take him.

“You’ll tell me if it’s too much, alright?” You hum and nod but he’s not satisfied with that. He leans down wrapping a hand around your throat and speaking again. “Words, angel.”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes… sir.” That’s all he needed to get him riled up.

He pushes your thighs up to your chest, before lining himself up. He uses his thumb to circle your clit a bit but you twitch more then he expected, taking note of your sensitivity. Your hands are still cuffed and held up against your chest, although he can’t see much of your eyes, their half lidded until you feel the tip of his cock push into you. You can feel how wide he is, you hadn’t really caught his full size given your dazed state so you were in for a real surprise. 

Sheathing half of himself inside, you open your mouth gasping. You can feel everything now, the veins in his cock promenient even through the latex of the condom. A shiver runs down your spine when you feel his hands gripping your thighs as he slowly pulls himself out to to the tip before going back in half way. He watches the way your tits bounce with every movement, your tight wet cunt sucking him in. It takes every ounce of self restraint in him to not completely bottom out in you.

“More p-please, sir.” 

“You beg so pretty, keep begging.” It’s all it takes for him to push himself inside you to the hilt, you gasp at the feeling, clenching down on him earning a grunt from him. He hold your knees up to your chest pounding into your pussy. 

You feel tears brimming at your eyes from how full you feel, not from pain, its purely pleasure. He’s grunting with every thrust, the sound of your pussy dripping with your exictement, and your moans. You let out a particularly high-pitched moan when he picks up his speed. He’s pussy whipped, your crys, your tight cunt, and your gorgeous tits bouncing with every thrust. He picks you hips up and settles on his knees, maneuvering to let your hips settle in his lap giving perfect access to hammer his cock into you. 

“Fuck baby, cum all over my cock, milk this cock baby.” He coaxes you in praise. Your pulling at the restraints trying fondle your own tits while uses you like a cock sleeve. 

The feeling of him so deep inside you combined with the sweet sound of his grunts and praises, has your orgasm building up again. He lifts you in the air at this point just holding you by the hips, balls slapping against and your own fluids creating a ring around the base of his cock. He settles back down to rub at your clit and picking up speed once more, his cock brushes agaisnt that spot more buidling your orgasm, pushing you further to your end.

“Cum for me baby, come on you can do it.”

“Chan!”

He’s basking in the feeling of you, he know’s now that his imagination will never live up to this again. His thrusts are slowing but his thumb is circling your clit even more, he lands a smack on your ass that seems to push you over the edge while pushing himself inside you as deep as he can. You clench down hard on his cock, pushing him to his own orgasm. He shallowly fucks into you riding you both out in orgasm. He wants to stay buried in your pussy like this for an eternity. Your both still for a moment trying to catch your breath, he lifts off your chest, grabbing the cuffs to free you from the restraints. He kisses your wrists and massages them gently, the soreness would settle in later. Pulling out of you ever so gently he stands up to turn the camera off. 

He walks back over to you to remove the lace from your eyes. Your eyes are glazed over, your in a sub-space and can’t seem to find the words to say it. He doesn’t need you to say it, it’s clear as day to him. He scoops you up into his arms, taking you over to the bathroom. 

“You okay? I’m gonna run you bath, okay? You don’t to speak just nod if that’s okay.” You nod to him as he settles you on the toilet, your legs are shaky and sore. He runs the water till its hot, he plugs the tub to let it fill, walking off to your kitchen to find water. He returns with water in hand, he opens the medicine cabinet looking for the pain relievers to get ahead of the inflammation of your muscles that would spread across your body tomorrow. 

When the tub is filled to the brim, he settles the two of you inside.Chan finds something to fasten your hair up, its when hes washing your body for you and massaging the muscles in your back, you feel yourself coming back to the present.

“You.. you didnt have to stay for the aftercare…” You say quietly, you voice feels small when you speak.

“I did. It’s my responsibility to make sure your okay. Besides, I needed this just as much as you.” He lets out a soft laugh, kissing your shoulder blade. 

Your ex couldn’t even bothered to fetch you a towel after sex, you felt grateful for Chan, even if this would only be a one night stand. After the bath, he wrapped you in a tower bringing you to your other room, he stepped away to grab his own clothes from the room. He noticed the mess left behind and took it upon himself to remove tarnished spreading. He knew the apartment had a washer inside, so he walked over to the hallway closet to find it. He set it to wash and when you reappeared in the doorway of the bedroom, you took notice of his now fully dressed state.

“I don’t want to feel like I’m asking too much but.. Will you stay the night? You totally don’t have to if you don’t want to or if you’re-”

“I’ll stay.” He stops you from rambling further. His presences was warm and comforting, you just wanted to feel someone next to you for a night. You offered him an extra shirt as you often kept larger shirts to sleep in for night time as you often slept in your under and shirts. You dozed off to the sound of his heartbeat with your head on his chest. Chan is setting his phone on the night stand about to doze off himself when he gets a text.

minho: count your fucking days

—

taglist (11/30): @skzooluvr @breadpuddingboys @weshhhhhhhhhhhhh @ihrtlix @complete-kpop-trash @strayzid @amara-mars @hynnnpic @hyuneyeon @teenagemoonharmony @cvpiddzz

[thefallennightmare]

That December Night-One

*image not mine*

Pairings: Matt Dierkes x Reader

Warnings/Tropes: swearing, smut(18+), angst, fluff, pregnancy/babydaddy!matt, talks of pregnancy.

Summary: "Fuck around and find out." Reader never thought it meant literally until it happened to her. One night of what was supposed to be harmless kissing managed to turn her entire world upside down.

A/N: The idea for this story came from this post and mine and @artificialbreezy's texting back and forth. So thank you so much babe for the ideas you contributed to this story. It's going to be a fun one! Also, I apologize if the sections seem pretty small, I plan on having the most exciting things happen in the next two chapters. This one was a simple build-up!

Tags: @loeytuan98 @thatchickwiththecamera @dsireland86 @iknownothingpeople @bngurngheart @malice-ov-mercy @cookiesupplier @heyyoplayer @myownthoughts12 @vinyardmaurao @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @lma1986 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @itsafullmoon @shilohrosechicken @klutzy-kay24 @shadowseve @blueskylinesx @exitwoundsx @thisbicc @pathion @cookiesupplier @sammyjoeee @whenthesummerdies @flowery-mess @xxkittenkissesxx @its-inourblood @madomens @collidewiththesavannah @xserena-13 @cncohshit @rain-down-on-me @sorrowsofsilence @jilliemiw86

READER

I should not be doing this, especially in this stranger's car. 

This was so wrong. So fucking wrong. 

But it felt so right. 

He felt so right. 

What started as a weekend trip to Los Angeles to visit my now ex boyfriend ended up with me in the backseat of this man’s car; a man I had met less than an hour ago.

My ex, Fred, had moved here a few weeks ago for work, which put a huge strain on our two year relationship. So after working it out with one of my best friends that lived here as well, I decided to come surprise him. She said they’ll be at a party for some rock stars that released an album a few weeks ago. None of that mattered, I only cared to see Fred. 

So after flying in from Vermont, taking an Uber all the way from the airport to the other side of the city and spending a pretty penny on it, I maneuvered my way inside the over-packed house filled with bodies, trying to find Fred. My eyes briefly landed on who I assumed were the “rockstars.” Four guys were covered in ink, especially the one with brown swoopy hair, but they all wore goofy smiles as they talked amongst themselves. I marveled at how they seemed like a family and wondered what that was like. 

Focus, Y/N.

“Sorry,” I murmured after I bumped into a strong chest. 

My eyes flicked up to a man whose eyes were covered by the rim of his hat, golden waves of hair falling around his shoulders. 

“You’re fine,” his hands gripped my elbows to keep me steady. 

It felt like every part of my soul was lit ablaze by his touch and gaze upon me and I sucked in a breath when I noticed his shirt. 

Lord of The Rings. 

One of my favorite movies. 

Clearing my throat, I ignored the way my heart fluttered when the man’s lips curled up in a faint smile after he caught me staring, and excused myself from him with a nod. His eyes lingered on my back as I scurried throughout the rest of the house to find Fred. I knew it was this house he was at, my friend sent me their pinned location. 

After coming up empty on the main floor of the house, I pushed my way through the sea of bodies once again, all of them raising their drinks to the rock stars for a “Kick ass album! Can’t wait for the new era!” Their cheers fell on deaf ears as I climbed the staircase towards where the bedrooms were, hoping yet not hoping to find Fred in one of them. 

So naive.

I stood in the doorway of the bathroom, watching as Fred had his face buried deep into some woman's pussy.

No, not just any woman. 

My best friend. 

With tears burning in my eyes, I turned my back to them, unnoticed, and nearly tripped over my feet as I ran down the stairs; once again nearly falling into someone's embrace. 

“Woah, easy there. Did you see a ghost or something?” His chest rumbled with laughter, only to snap his mouth shut when he saw the tears running down my face. 

It was the same man I had run into earlier, the one with the Lord Of The Rings shirt. 

“Shit,” he cursed. “Are you alright?” 

“Uh,” I stood straighter, his hands still resting on my hips. I stood on the stairs, two steps above him so I could stare down at him. “I’m fine. I was just leaving.”

The man didn’t say anything for a long moment, simply watching my face as a way to try and read my mind. Just as his mouth parted to speak, I heard my name from behind me at the top of the staircase. 

Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Fred making his way down slowly with my friend trailing behind him. He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt before giving me a smile. 

“Hey baby! I didn’t know you were flying in!” 

Tears welled in my eyes again, my heart breaking at the scene I saw less than five minutes ago. Two years of love and what I thought eventually marriage thrown away by lust and lies.

The man at the bottom of the stairs noticed the way my body shook in his embrace as I continued to stare at Fred. 

“Do I need to kick his ass?” he asked. 

Turning my head towards the man, I blew out a shaky breath. “Can you get me out of here? Please?”

His smile faltered but immediately nodded, leading me through the crowd of people and away from Fred, who called after me. 

“Where can I take you?” The man asked as we neared the front door, halting for a moment to glance back at my face.

Anywhere is better than here. 

“My hotel,” I choked out, doing my best to keep the sobs locked away. 

I wouldn’t cry. Not for Fred. 

I should have said no, I could find my own way back to my hotel that there was no use for anymore since I was leaving in the morning. But there was something soft in the way his thumb brushed away the tears from my face that eased away the fear of who this man truly was. So I accepted his offer to drive me back to my hotel since it was pretty late and I knew that this area could be dangerous in the dark. 

It was mid December in Los Angeles, a vast difference to Vermont. Something the man made fun of when he noticed me take off my bulky cardigan as soon as we stepped outside. 

“You’re not from here, are you?” He chuckled his question as we walked down the street toward his car. 

I sniffled and wiped my nose on the back of my hand. “No. I fucking flew all the way from Vermont to surprise that asshole only to find him tongue fucking my best friend. How fucking cliche is that?!” I rambled on, my voice a lost echo into the night sky. 

He hummed while shrugging. “Clearly it’s his loss.” 

With him holding the passenger side door open for me, I slipped inside just as rain began to fall from the sky, drenching him instantly. I couldn’t help but chuckle in my broken state as he ran around the car, splashing a puddle that drenched his pants from knees down.

“How the fuck did I manage to step in the only puddle,” he cursed himself once he sat behind the steering wheel, shaking the rain out from his hair. 

He cocked his head to the side as he stared at me. “I’m glad you think this is funny.” 

“Hey compared to what just happened to me, I’d rather fall face first into three puddles,” I admitted with a laugh. 

The man’s face softened when my laugh filled the car and after a moment, he pulled away from the curb once I told him what hotel I was staying at. During the entire car ride, neither of us said a word. I let my mind wander back to Fred, my phone buzzing non stop since I left that house. I knew that he was the one calling and texting but I couldn’t be bothered to check. He was the one that threw away two years, not me. I refused to falter back into Fred, let him sweet talk his way into my heart only for him to do the same thing. 

I made a promise to myself at that moment to never let another man into my heart. The pain that ate away inside of me was debilitating. I was too independent of a woman to allow another man to use and lie to me. No man was worth this hurt. 

Yet, as this man pulled up to my hotel and sat back in his seat with his body facing me, I could feel the sudden sexual tension. I’d never been one to think that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. There was no way that bullshit actually worked. If I actually believed that line of thinking, then why couldn’t I ignore the aura of this man as it radiated through the car. His presence alone was enough to make me hold my breath and clench my knees together when his gaze burned on the side of my face. I knew from the moment his hands wrapped around me that I’d be drawn to him and this quick car ride back would be anything but quick. 

Which is where I currently found myself after we both whispered our agreement to each other. 

Just one night.

“Fuck,” I breathed when teeth nipped at the sensitive flesh of my neck before lips attacked mine yet again. 

The man underneath me moaned as I rolled my hips over his, the hardness of his cock pressing against the inside of my thigh. The windows of the car fogged up with the heat of our kiss, so intense, so sloppy, but neither of us cared. I pulled at his shirt, lifting him closer to me as he lounged in the back seat. His fingers dragged over the material of my jeans, guiding my clothed core over his cock. 

“Fuck baby, I knew from the second you walked in the room tonight, I’d have you in this position,” he grunted while running his hand underneath my shirt to toss it up over me onto the front seat. 

I shivered as the cool air of the car brushed against my bare chest, his eyes darkening at the sight of my peaked nipples. His tongue danced around my left one while his fingers played with my right, often switching between the two. 

The rain fell against the car as a soft tune from the radio acted as background noise as we continued to make out in the back seat. 

“I don’t-“, I panted when his free hand worked at the button on my jeans. “I don’t even know your name.” 

“Matt,” he rasped while helping me shimmy out of my jeans which were quite difficult in our position in the back seat. 

Matt had a simple Toyota Corolla making it nearly impossible to get comfortable. 

I broke apart our kiss to help him out of his shirt, digging my nails into the soft flesh of his chest. “Y/N”.

A noise crawled from the back of his throat as he repeated my name and hooked a finger in my panties. 

“Well, Y/N, are you going to be a good fucking girl for me and let me taste you? I can smell you staining my leather seats and I’m desperate.” 

Holy hell. 

An unknown feeling ignited in my lower gut when Matt laid me down on the seat and leisurely dragged the lacy material down my legs. I raised my hips up towards him, silently begging him. 

“I never heard an answer, Y/N,” he let my panties hang loosely on my ankle. 

My bottom lip caught between my teeth, unable to speak because I was afraid my admission would seize all actions. I felt Matt’s warm breath fan over my core after he positioned us so he was able to kneel on the back seat, one of my legs against the back windshield and the other resting on the floor. 

“I-uh,” I covered my face with my hands, suddenly very embarrassed and exposed in front of him as I lay completely bare for him. 

“Hey,” Matt’s voice was low as he reached for my hands to remove them from my face. “Don’t hide from me.” 

His hair fell into his face while he loomed over me thanks to me knocking off his hat when I first jumped in his lap. I brushed away the golden locks so I could now see his face in his entirety. 

He was gorgeous. 

Letting out a breath, I finally let it slip why I was hiding from him. 

“I’ve never had that before,” I motioned towards my pussy. 

Matt gazed at me with furrowed brows but then the lines in his forehead cleared when he realized what I meant. 

“Wait,” he sat back on his knees now while I sat up on my elbows. “You mean to tell me that fucking prick never ate you out before but you caught him down on another woman?” 

I pursed my lips while shaking my head. “Kind of fucked up when you think about it.”

Matt let out a low growl before pulling my knees to my chest, my panties that were still hanging on my ankle flying off to somewhere in the car. 

“Can I be the first one that gets to taste you, baby? Hm?” His voice was nearly gone, overtaken by whatever consumed him. 

I reached for his head that was perched between my legs and urged him forward. “Please.”

Matt’s warm tongue flicked over my slick folds and I moaned out his name while running my hands through his hair, hips bucking up into his mouth when he pressed the tip of his tongue on my clit.

"Shit," I breathed, eyes fluttering shut.

This is what I'm missing? It only urged my anger tenfold for the scene I walked into back at the house. 

"Fuck, baby. I'd get on my knees every day for you. You taste so fucking good," Matt murmured briefly pulling away from my clit.

I hissed in pleasure when his teeth grazed over it before wrapping his lips over my sensitive bud and began sucking. A long finger slid between my folds as he hooked that finger inside of me. With his mouth biting and sucking on my clit and his finger pumping in and out of me, I felt the coil in my lower belly pull tight. I peered down and moaned at the sight of Matt’s eyes closed shut as he devoured all of me. His nails dug into the skin of my thighs as he pushed my legs closer to my chest. I grasped at the roots of his hair as I rode his face closer to my release; it was so close.

"I can feel you clench around my fingers, Y/N. You’re so close,” Matt pulled away from my pussy to glance up at me, the sight of his mouth covered in my arousal unholy. 

“Matt, I just want to cum,” I begged, breathless when his mouth tongue flicked over my clit again. 

Two more pumps of his fingers were my undoing as the coil finally snapped, my release shaking my entire body. 

Matt hummed in delight before pressing a tender kiss to my thigh and then worked himself out of his pants. 

“God, I need more of you, baby. Can I fuck that pretty pussy?” He asked with his hand wrapped around his cock. 

My eyes nearly widened when I noticed the size of him and I let out a nervous breath, something Matt noticed as he maneuvered us so I was straddling him in the middle seat, the head of his cock brushing along my folds before slipping in slowly. 

I hissed, digging my nails into his broad shoulders. “Matt.”

His nose skimmed along my neck. “It’s alright, baby. I’ll go slow. We can’t rush perfect things. 

But that wasn’t why I was stopping him. 

“Do you have a condom?” I asked, pulling away so I could gaze down at him. 

My heart was pounding so loud in my chest I could hear each beat in my ears, the sight of Matt looking so blissed out even before reaching his own release. But then his face faltered at my words. 

“Fuck,” he cursed while running a hand down his face. “I didn’t expect to have sex tonight, if I’m being honest. You’re not on anything?” 

I merely shook my head before letting my shoulders fall, along with my forehead against his shoulder. I’d  been so wound up from our make out session earlier and with his mouth devouring me, to have everything ripped from me because neither of us were prepared made me groan. 

“Just the head then, yea? How does that sound, baby?” Matt dug his fingers into my hips as he slowly sank the tip of his cock inside of me again. 

“Fuck,” the word dragged out of my mouth, muffled by his shoulder. “O-oh-okay.”

His chest rumbled beneath me as he laguidly fucked me with just the head of his cock. It felt so good, dragging in and out of me as my walls clenched desperately for more. 

I needed more. 

Arching myself back from him, I eased farther down on his cock at my own pace, slowly taking every inch of him. Matt choked on a breath once I was fully seated on him and wrapped an arm around me to pull me flush against his chest, our lips meeting in a tangled mess of tongues and saliva. His thrusts were unrelenting, the sound of skin slapping against skin overpowering the noise of the raging thunderstorm outside. 

Matt felt nothing like Fred; he felt more full, more fulfilling. The thought lingered in the back of my mind that this one night would be a hard one to forget.

“Such a slut for my cock, yeah? Look at you, taking all of me,” Matt praised with a hard snap of his hips, causing me to cry out before his mouth covered mine in a kiss so fierce it made my head spin. 

We were both lost in the haze we immersed ourselves in, souls and body intertwined with each other, that neither of us stopped it when my second orgasm washed over me seconds before Matt’s cock twitched, him spilling himself deep inside of me. 

I collapsed against his chest as his arms encircled around me, both of us coming down from the high we shared. I let the even beats of his heart bring me back to the present, suddenly realizing what exactly just happened. Slowly rising off of his softer dick, I began searching for my clothes to slip them on. 

Matt ran a hand through his hair before following me in getting dressed. With his hat perched back on his head, he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Um, I’m not sure what to say.” 

I couldn’t help but giggle at how vast his demeanor changed from a man spewing filthy things to someone who messed with the ends of his shirt nervously. 

“Thank you,” I spoke. “For taking me away from Fred, driving me to my hotel, and making me forget everything for the time being.”

Matt nodded with a smile. “Promise you won’t go crawling back to him?” 

Snorting, I buried myself in my oversized cardigan and shook my head. “Hell no. He can fucking rot. I’m going to focus on myself for a little while.”

Calloused fingers brushed away the strands of hair from my face before trailing down the side of my neck. “Take care of yourself, Y/N. You deserve nothing but happiness.”

I pressed a gentle kiss into his palm, my words lingering in the air after I slipped out from the car. 

“Be good, Matt.”

MATT

I sat in the backseat of the car for a few beats, long after Y/N ran through the rain towards the hotel, and tried to understand what exactly happened. When we first began the album release party for Bad Omens, I had every intention of remaining professional as their manager, making sure everything ran smoothly. Yet, the moment Y/N stumbled into my arms and I drank in those doe eyes when she stared up at me, I knew I was done for. 

That simple action was enough to drag me down to the depths of her. Every fiber of my being craved her, physically and spiritually. Now that I had a taste of her, I knew it would be difficult to forget the way she felt coming undone on my cock. 

Groaning, I dragged a hand down my face before clambering back into the driver's seat, finally heading back to Davis’ house where the party was being held. I knew Noah was waiting for me so we could ride back home together. I could only hope that he didn’t notice I slipped away from the party for an hour. 

Pulling the car up to the curb at his tall figure shielding himself from the rain with his jacket, Noah slipped into the front seat and shook out the water all over me and the leather. 

“Watch it!” I chastised him, almost forgetting the mess that was left in the back seat.

Noah’s nostrils flared for a moment. “Why does it smell like sex in here?” 

“Wh-what?” I stammered with crimson cheeks.

“It smells like sex in here,” he chuckled while looking over his shoulder to the back seat. “Where the hell did you run off to anyway?” 

I shrugged, finally driving back towards our house, the opposite way of where I dropped Y/N off. 

“I took someone home,” I answered with a nonchalant shrug. 

Out of the corner of my eyes, I watched in horror as Noah reached for the gear shift to unhook a pair of yellow lace panties. 

“Hm,” he hummed low, twirling them between his fingers. “Someone left something important behind.” 

Cursing, I snatched the panties from Noah and pocketed them into my joggers. 

“Fuck you, asshole.” 

He let out a belt of laughter before easing himself into the seat, long limbs stretched out. “Was it the girl I saw you with your arms around earlier? At the bottom of the stairs?”

My silence was my answer as I gripped the steering wheel, trying so hard to forget the way Y/N tasted, her arousal still lingering on my lips. 

“Did you get her number?” 

I shook my head with a sigh. “We both agreed it would be a one night thing. She’s from Vermont and is leaving in the morning. I won’t see her again.” 

I couldn’t ignore the way my heart sank to my stomach. 

“At least tell me you were safe,” Noah questioned, which caused me to shift in the driver's seat. 

“Dude!” He groaned, leaning over towards the glove compartment to pull out a brand new box of condoms. 

My eyes darted from the road to it. “Where the fuck did those come from?” 

He shrugged, tossing it back into the compartment. “I stocked them up after I used the last one.” 

I slammed on the breaks as I came to a stop at a red light, narrowed eyes pinning him in his place. “Are you telling me you fucked someone in my car?” 

“Shit,” Noah grimaced. “I didn't mean to blurt that out. It was the time my car was in the shop and Adreanna couldn’t wait until we got home.” 

His girlfriend. 

“You’re a fucking dick,” I spat as the light turned green, inching closer and closer to our shared home. “I can’t believe there were condoms right there the entire time.”

He raised a teasing brow. “Too busy to check, huh?” 

I punched his shoulder before pulling into the driveway and he rubbed at the growing red mark, still laughing his ass off. 

“Let’s hope she doesn't show up in a year with a baby claiming it's yours,” he said and then clambered out of the car. 

I sat there for a moment, letting his words sink deep within my bones, only one thought running through my mind. 

Wouldn’t that be nice.

READER

No. 

No. 

No. No. No. 

This is all a dream, a nightmare. One that I’m bound to wake up from any moment with a breath of relief. 

Right, if it's a dream then why are you holding two positive tests and an ultrasound?

The thought made my stomach and shoulders fall in succession, knowing that there was no way I could deny it any longer. The last couple of months of constant morning sickness and sensitivity to certain smells were easy to ignore but the third month of no period was not. I knew my body was changing, my breast becoming sensitive to the touch and the sudden yet noticeable weight gain. It was evident that I was pregnant, something I told myself weeks ago, but I still tried to ignore because it couldn’t possibly be true. 

So now, here I was standing in the middle of my bathroom glaring down at the two positive pregnancy tests and the three ultrasound pictures. The doctor estimated I was roughly 12 weeks along and almost quickly, I knew who the father was. 

I’d only slept with one man the last three months and he was currently living his life in sunny Los Angeles. Yes, we had sex unprotected but I took the morning after pill as soon as I stepped foot back in Vermont, not having the time before my flight to stop and pick one up; something I made known to the doctor earlier today. 

“Those don’t work all the time. It could be that you waited too long after intercourse to take it.” 

With shaking hands, I set them down on the bathroom counter and dragged my feet over to my bedroom across the hall where my laptop sat on my desk. I knew what I had to do, me making the decision on the car ride back home from my appointment that I would keep this baby and raise it by myself if need be. I made decent money at my job so I could live somewhat comfortably. I didn’t need Matt’s help, I wouldn’t force him into something he didn’t want only for him to leave years later when it got too hard for him. 

He still deserved to know, though. So now came the hard part of finding out exactly who this Matt was. Neither of us divulged more of our lives besides our names that night so it took me some time scouring my brain to remember the name of the band the party was for. 

Good Almonds? 

Secret Omens? 

“Fuck, this pregnancy brain is no joke,” I groaned while resting my forehead on the cool wood of my desk. 

I’d also picked up one of those pregnancy books earlier and spent a few hours reading everything regarding the first trimester, which I had just surpassed. Rubbing my small bump, I sat up straighter in my chair and let my eyes flutter shut. 

“Alright baby, help me out here. Help me find your dad,” I muttered. 

Bad Omens. 

Snapping my eyes open, I hastily typed ‘Bad Omens Matt’ into google's search bar and watched as lists of websites appeared on screen, clicking on the first one.

Matt Dierkes (mattxdierkes) • Instagram photos and videos.

I let out a breath I had no idea I’d been holding and clicked through his instagram profile, not being able to hide the smile when I saw a picture of him holding a small dog against his chest. I tried to think of the best way to go about this. It would be wrong of me to send him a direct message to tell him the news, something he could easily ignore or claim was false. 

He needed to see it for himself. 

After spending a few more minutes researching, I found out that Matt was not only Bad Omens tour manager but he worked in their front of house as well and they were gearing up to head out on the road for a three week long tour across the U.S which started in two weeks.

Gnawing on my lip, I had to make a decision. Wait until he is back home to tell him or fly out to Los Angeles before he leaves to tell him. 

Clicking open a new tab, I searched up flights to California and once those were booked and paid for, I sat back in my chair and rubbed at my bump. I’d fly out next Friday evening and return Sunday morning. I couldn’t stay longer because I had work that Monday morning and I wanted to try and save up as much PTO as I could for maternity leave, my job offering a crappy version of it. 

Stretching out my limbs, I rose from the chair only to make it a few steps to my bed, falling onto it with a puff of air. Along with pregnancy brain being something I’d been suffering from, so was the exhaustion. It felt like no matter how many hours I slept at night, by 2 in the afternoon, I was ready for bed. 

Of course you’re tired, your body is growing a human.

I let the idea of me growing a tiny human made up of equal parts me and Matt lull me to sleep, those dark eyes plaguing my existence. I also couldn’t ignore the excitement that filled me knowing I’d be seeing him again. 

MATT

Music blasted through the vast opening of the warehouse as we all tirelessly worked from sunrise to sunset packing up the trucks with all of our equipment. Bad Omens were about to head out on the road next week for their first tour with the new era and we all were buzzing with excitement. The set list was stacked, the visual and mixes were some of the best I’ve created so far. I spent the entire day with a smile on my face, ready for the future of not only mine but my best friends. 

Although, it did feel like there was something missing in my life, something meaningful, but I couldn’t pinpoint on what it was exactly. 

With a stack of metal rods in my arms, the ones we use to hang up the merch tent, I stepped out of the warehouse over towards the trucks where I met Nicholas, who suddenly stood frozen while looking past me. 

“Oh please don’t tell me this is the situation I’m thinking it is and she’s here to claim it’s Noah’s.” 

With a raised brow, I slowly turned to face his gaze and sucked in a breath at the sight. Y/N stood a few feet away from the truck, wringing her hands together with nerves as her eyes darted around the bodies, trying to find a certain one. Her soft strands of hair blue over her shoulder with the unusually cool summer breeze as the bright rays from the sun casted her bare shoulders in a golden hue, yet it paled in comparison to the yellow color of her sundress that rested just above her knees. 

As my eyes traveled past the swell of her breast down to her lower half it was then that I realized exactly what Nicholas meant and I dropped all three metal rods I’d been carrying clattered to the concrete with a noise loud enough to echo blocks away. 

Everyone froze to look over at me, who had yet to remove my gaze from Y/N’s stomach as she ran a hand over it, a silent indication of what I’d been wondering to myself. Noah, who was in the truck behind me packing it, surveyed the scene in front of him, darting back and forth between me and Y/N. He muttered something under his breath before giving me a push towards her, my body still in a state of shock and I nearly stumbled over my feet. 

“Hi,” her voice shook with nerves when I stopped in front of her.

Now with the setting sun, I could see a patch of freckles covering her nose and cheeks. I noticed she had only one dimple on her left cheek when she gave me a small smile. 

But her eyes? Fuck, they still managed to pull me in nearly four months later. All I could think about was one simple thing: I hope she’s here to tell me that it’s mine.

READER

“H-hi,” Matt cleared his throat while stuffing his hands deep into the pockets of his shorts and it was then I finally noticed the colorful tattoo on his right leg. “What are you doing here?” 

Blinking away from his thighs, I rubbed a hand over my small bump. “I’m pretty sure you can guess.”

His eyes flicked down so fast I nearly missed it. “It’s mine?” 

I already told myself not to get upset when he questioned it because I knew he would. I would have been more shocked if he didn’t. 

“It’s yours, Matt. You’re the only guy I had sex with in the last four months and unprotected,” I replied. 

Matt glanced over his shoulder to one of the guys hanging out in the large truck and I recognized him from the party that December night; the one covered in tattoos. 

“I only found out last week. I guess I tried to ignore it in hopes that it was all a dream because the last thing I needed was a baby,” I admitted while shifting on my feet. 

He turned his attention back towards me. “Are you going to keep it? It’s obviously your choice. I’ll support you with whatever you decide so please don’t think I’m pressuring you into something because that’s not what I’m trying to do.”

As he rambled on, I gave a curt nod. “I do plan on keeping it. I didn’t expect to get pregnant before falling in love and getting married but when has anything in my life been traditional? I’m used to doing things on my own so this won’t be any different.”

Matt’s muscles constricted underneath his Cannibal Corpse shirt as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Who said you were doing this alone?”

“Uh. I just figured that with how busy you are that you wouldn’t want to be bothered with a kid. I only came out here to tell you in person because it felt wrong to tell you in an Instagram message.”

He snorted, nostrils flaring, and took a tentative step towards me. “You don’t think it’s wrong to make assumptions about me?” 

I chewed on the inside of my cheek and forced myself to break the intense stare down between us. Suddenly being underneath his hot gaze, I felt the pep talk I spent all afternoon telling myself slipping through my grasp. Bile rose in my throat, part because of the pregnancy and part because of the nerves I felt flowing through me. 

“You’re coming on the road with me.” 

His stern voice caused me to whirl my head back towards him, my hair flowing over my shoulders. “Excuse me? I didn’t expect you to drop everything in your life for this baby so you can’t expect me to just uproot my life to please you!”

"I've never been one to half-ass anything, Y/N!" Matt bit out with a clenched jaw. His hands were perched low on his hip as my sudden news turned his world upside down. 

My hands rested on my stomach as I took a deep breath, to calm myself. My blood pressure at my appointment last week was a little concerning so my doctor made sure to tell me to take it easy, especially in these early months. The large group of people a few feet behind him pretended to keep themselves busy with work but I knew they'd been eavesdropping since I showed up a few minutes ago. 

Matt also let out a deep breath to calm himself. "If we're going to do this then we're doing it together. But we can't do it together if you're halfway across the world from me."

I scoffed, still not quite ready to jump into the idea of packing up my life for the next month to live on the road with a man I had only met one night back in December. 

Just over three months ago.

"And if I say no?" I scoffed, my own hands perched on my hips. 

Those dark eyes sliced into me from underneath his hat and he took a step closer towards me. I could feel his warm breath across my lips and the sudden hunger to taste him again was overtaking me. 

"You're carrying my child, Y/N. There's no way I'm letting you leave now. Not again. Not like I did that night."

I wasn’t sure if it was because of the blazing sun, the nearly 90 degree heat, or the way Matt’s words cut deep that made my surroundings suddenly spin causing my body to go limp into his embrace. 

“Shit,” he cursed as he reached out to catch me from hitting the ground below and lifted my limp body into his arms. 

“I don’t feel so good,” I murmured into his neck, my body suddenly feeling clammy and drained of energy. 

“Hang on baby,” Matt cooed while carrying me into the warehouse where the cool air fell away against my still heated skin. 

Gently, he sat me down in a metal chair and cupped my cheeks so I could look at him with heavy eyes. 

“When was the last time you ate something?” He wondered. 

I blinked slowly, trying my best to keep the bile that raised in my throat down, and let out a weak response. 

“Not since this morning.” 

The words tangled together as I felt a wave of nausea wash over me and Matt cursed again while yelling something to someone, it being white noise as I felt my body growing heavier. 

“Drink some water,” Matt urged me with a hushed voice, bringing a bottle to my lips and helping me take in some, the cool liquid easing down the urge to throw up everywhere. 

Next he took a granola bar from a heavily tattooed hand and waved it in front of my nose, causing me to wretch back away from it. 

Peanut butter. 

I fucking hated the smell of peanut butter. 

“Y/N, you need to eat something,” Matt’s voice was sharp, along with his gaze on me. 

I cringed. “The baby hates peanut butter.”

He let out a low rumble of laughter before looking up at the man behind him. “Noah, can you go look in Jolly’s stash? I think I saw fruit or something in there.” 

“Oh, the baby loves bananas,” I perked up, the little bit of water intake bringing life back into me slowly. 

The man, Noah, smiled brightly before running a hand through his curtain styled hair. “One banana coming right up.”

After he dashed to the other side of the warehouse, Matt’s hands rested on my knee. 

“You can’t forget to eat, Y/N,” he sighed. 

“I’ve been feeling sick all morning and spent most of the afternoon before coming here asleep. The plane ride took a lot out of me. I guess I forgot,” I gave a limp shrug. 

Worry etched on Matt’s face as he continued to kneel in front of me. “Can you even be flying?” 

Noah returned with two bananas and I took them with a grateful smile when I noticed he even peeled them for me. 

“I can fly until I’m thirty six weeks,” I answered after swallowing two mouthfuls of banana. 

Noah stared down at me with his hands in his pockets. “How far along are you?” 

“13 weeks.” 

I could see Matt figure out the dates in his head, confirming what I had already told him. 

“Due in September?” He asked, running his fingers over my knee, leaving goosebumps in his wake. 

Even in my weak state, I couldn’t deny how much I missed his touch as I nodded. 

“September 4.”

The three of us sat in silence for a moment as I finished the bananas and drank a little bit more water. 

 “Feeling better?” Matt questioned. 

I patted his hand reassuringly. “Very much, thank you.”

Noah squeezed my shoulder with a comforting touch. “I’d never seen Matt so freaked out before.” 

Leaving us to ourselves, I met with worry behind those dark eyes of Matt’s and frowned. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” I breathed. 

He huffed before taking off his hat, letting it rest on my lap while he ran a hand through his hair. 

“Can you understand why I want you with me, Y/N? Imagine if this happened and no one was there to help you.”

This was the very first time one of these episodes happened and I had to admit, it scared the hell out of me so I couldn’t imagine the fear coursing through Matt when I collapsed into him. 

Playing with the rim of his hat still on my lap, I eventually nodded. “Okay. But I have to settle things back at home and my job before leaving. 

Matt did his best to hide his grin behind his hand as he scratched at his jaw, ultimately failing. 

“We don’t leave until Thursday evening next week. Will that be enough time?” 

My shoulders rose and fell. “It’ll have to be, I guess. I have some PTO from work that I can use. Do you want me to fly out back here or meet you at the first city?” 

Matt placed his hat back on his head. “I’m going to fly out to Vermont on Wednesday so we can fly out to the first city together. I don’t like the idea of you on a plane by yourself.” 

I raised a brow. “I’m literally getting on a plane tomorrow morning to fly back home. What’s the difference?” 

“The difference is,” he adjusted his weight from one foot to the other, still kneeling in front of me. “It’s too late for me to buy a ticket to come with you. Plus, I still have a lot left to do here to make sure everything is packed and loaded properly.” 

I hummed in response, eyes taking in the sight of everyone now moving about the warehouse again after realizing I was fine. They all conversed with each other, bright smiles on their faces as they understood every inside joke they shot back and forth. 

“You guys seem like a big family,” I noted. 

Matt agreed with a nod. “We are. We take care of each other.”

As the noise of everyone chatting fell around us, I fiddled with the ends of my dress, trying to gather the courage to say my next words, unsure if Matt would agree or even feel the same. 

“I want to make sure you understand that just because we’re doing this parenting thing together does not mean we're together.  We can co-parent but I’m not looking for a relationship. I’m still in the same spot when you first met me, Matt. I swore off relationships, it doesn't matter that we’re having a baby together.”

My gaze was trained hard on my chipped nail polish that I hadn’t seen the look of pure heartbreak flash over Matt’s face but he was quick to put that mask back up. 

“Whatever you’re comfortable with, Y/N. I’m not going to force anything on you. I’ll be here for you; as a friend.” 

That, however, I did not miss; the way the word friend sounded bitter on his tongue.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” I said suddenly remembering something I had hidden in my purse. 

With curious eyes, Matt took the ultrasound picture I retrieved from my purse and grazed his thumb over the black and white picture, over the small fetus. His eyes now glossy as he blew out a shaky breath. 

“That’s-?” He coughed, trying to figure out his words. 

I nodded while resting my hands over my small bump. “That’s our baby.”

Matt cast his gaze from the ultrasound to my bump, back and forth a few times almost as if he was trying to understand how the little baby in the picture was the one I was carrying. The lines next to his eyes crinkled and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. 

“If we're going to do this together, Matt, you can touch it whenever you want. You don’t need to ask. This baby is half yours,” I assured him while reaching for his hand, placing it over my bump. 

He let out a breath, finally being able to feel where his baby was, and it was as if everything was clicking into place for him. Our fingers linked together, both resting over the bundle of what we created that night together. While I hadn’t expected this outcome from me telling him, I was extremely grateful that he decided to stay with me. The fear of raising a baby on my own kept me up the last few nights. 

I had meant what I told him, though. The last thing I was looking for was a relationship to make this between us even more messier than it already was. But when Matt leaned towards my bump to whisper something, I knew those words I had just spoken to myself in my brain were only that; words. 

“Hi baby, I’m your dad.”

[admiral-mason]

Ultra-Impact (SAGAU x Ultrakill)

Alright, let's try this multi-part chapter series yet again.

Idea based on @valeriele3's Live Stream post.

Reader is Gender Neutral (GN)

0-1 << YOU ARE HERE 0-2

PRELUDE /// FIRST INTO A NEW FIRE

SENTIENT MACHINES FROM HELL WARN YOU OF GRAVE DANGER.

"Ultrakill Violence Layer + Genshin stream"

Was the title of your stream on [streaming platform]. The chat was healthy, spitting out messages like every stream you recorded.

jonas9291: bro's gonna die LMFAO

Makitasbookshelf: This is it!

Brrrrrrtt donated $5.00: "BENJAMIN!!11!!!!!!!1!11!"

"Who the heck is Benjamin?" You said as you asked your chat before exiting the room that you were in,

And then staring up to see a huge titan of a machine.

1000-THR EARTHMOVER

"Ohhhhh holy crap that is one huge robot right there!"

That was what you said before you hooked onto the hookpoints at the beginning of the level and made your way up to the 1000-THR Earthmover's leg. The level title then popped up once you grappled all the hookpoints:

VIOLENCE /// CLIMAX ...LIKE ANTENNAS TO HEAVEN

The first two streetcleaners went down easy; you shot one while knocking off the other. Then, you ascended upwards to its side and killed a sentry.

And then right after said sentry was a Guttertank. These things sucked but you managed to get rid of him after a screwdriver railcannon to the torso.

Killing two more soldiers and a sentry after parkouring over some heated pipes, a Gutterman tried to kill you from behind at the last second. You broke his guard and finished him off with the rocket launcher.

Making your way to a circular platform, two more Guttertanks spawned.

"Are you screwing with me right now??" You said, as you bothered abusing the attractor sawblade launcher and yet another screwdriver railcannon shot to kill them, but not before one of their rockets hit you. Entering a building of sorts, you killed off two Mannequins and a Malicious face, with one ending up crushed by the face and granting you + MAURICED.

Right before the town, however, you noticed a terminal and you decided to check it out. However, instead of a tip of the day, it simply said:

"DO NOT TOUCH THE LANDS RULED BY THE SEVEN GODS."

benjaminfan: wtf

wjdhriww: what is this?

3929: Omg new Ultrakill update real???

NaviaLover291: Holy shot!

"...What the heck?" You quickly took a screenshot of the image for later. Then you defeated the 1000-THR Defence System after three deaths and made your way to the interior. Busting up the idols, you used the hookpoints in what you could infer as the neck area. Another terminal stood right at a checkpoint area, displaying different text too.

"THEY HAVE BECOME FERAL, LIKE THE WILD ANIMALS ROAMING ALONGSIDE THEM. THEIR RELIGION OF BELIEVING IN AN ALMIGHTY ONE, TWISTED AND CORRUPTED TO KILL ALL IMPERSONATORS."

Adm!ra1-M4son: Bro is this a spoiler for Fraud??

valeriele3: Hey this reminds me of SAGAU Impostor AU! ...That's not a good sign actually-

johnifer: sagau more like SAG ON DEEZ NUTS LOLOLOLOL GOTTEM

"Oh no Genshin better not freaking kill me after this," you jokingly said as you screenshotted this text too, wondering if this relates to any storyline purposes. Your chat once told you about SAGAU during one stream and you all had fun reading the Tumblr fanfictions about it.

Fighting the Earthmover's brain was simple enough: fire everything you owned at it. Screwdrivers, coins, cannonballs jumpstart sawblade launcher, basically literally every single heavy weapon you owned.

The final horde was a bit laggy for you, but aside from that it was more or less just abusing rocket launchers and sawblade launchers. You then finally completed the level, with an unfortunate C-rank.

"Oof," Was all you said before you went onto Reddit for a brief moment and posted your screenshot of the terminals before going to booting up Genshin.

"Okay chat let's do this!" You said as you were about to go do your daily commissions and everything was normal until you talked to an NPC.

"...You filthy impersonator! The Knights of Favonius will make sure you're properly disposed of!"

He said that before your game crashed on you with an error code simply labeled "You shall pay for your crime, impostor."

"What the heck chat??" But then your stream ended too, and before you knew it, your PC started rapidly heating up and your monitor glowing a flashbang-level white before you were ultimately engulfed by it.

0-1: INTO A NEW FIRE: COMPLETED

Taglist: @valeriele3, @bunniotomia (I think that's how tagging works? If you wish to be tagged, let me know in the comments below)

[justtwotired]

Hello ! I hope you’re doing well. I was wondering if I could get an ask for Sam and Colby. Maybe reader (female or gn neutral pronouns are fine !) is invited to go with SnC exploring an abandoned place but she’s been struggling with body image (I’m kind of in the slumps rn :/) so she’s cut back on food. Through the trip they notice her lagging behind and getting tired easily. She ends up fainting due to exhaustion and lack of food and they take care of her when she comes to. Preferably Colby pairing and lots of angst ! Only if your comfortable writing about this thank you xx 🫶🏽

Why hello there, I am so sorry for posting this rather late, I wrote a part of it, then got busy and forgot about it and just finished and edited it, so hope it’s alright!

I really like this request! Mostly because I can really relate to reader, this is always chill because then I can write five that actually make sense ya know.

I did write some angst but not LOTS, because angst is one of those things I still find difficult to write, but I hope you still like it<3

“What’s up guys it’s Sam and Colby!” Colby started. “Today, we are at an abandoned manor in the woods right behind us. It is quite a walk, but I think we will survive!” Sam told the camera.

“Also, we brought someone with us,” Sam then pointed behind him where I stood rather awkwardly, wearing a huge hoody that I may or may not have stolen from Colby’s closet.

“This is Y/n, you guys know her of course, we had lots of questions to bring her back to the Chanel, so we did of course.” Sam explained before turning the camera fully on me.

I sucked in an unnoticeable sharp breath. Did I look alright? Was that pimple I hid under makeup this morning still invisible? Did the hoody hide my body enough?

“So, N/n, are you excited?” Sam asked and I gave the camera a genuine smile. “I am actually, this place is not too far from my home town and I’ve been wanting to go here for a while, but I didn’t want to go alone, so now I have these two idiots to come along.” I joked and Sam pointed the camera at Colby.

“Did you hear that, dude?” He said in fake sadness. “I thought you where coming with us?” Colby said also jokingly hurt. “I’m still stuck on the fact she called us idiots.” Sam said and pointed the camera at himself.

“Seems like we have to change the channel name to ‘Y/n only’ because she is taking over.” He said and I chuckled. “Oh yeah, definitely, and I’ll give them weekly uploads instead of your monthly shit.” I said and Colby grinned.

“What you’re going to the conjuring then? Staying a week there?” He asked and I pursed my lips. “Well I didn’t say that.”

The two laughed and Sam shut off the camera. “Heading to the forest, then?” He asked and we nodded. Suddenly my stomach made a growling noice and they stopped.

“We could get something to eat first?” Colby suggested and I shook my head. “Nahh, it’s fine, I’m not that hungry really,” I waved it off and kept walking.

“Are you sure? You haven’t eaten breakfast yet and it’s almost two in the afternoon,” Colby said and I just chuckled.

“I’m fine, really,” I smiled at him and kept walking, not missing the look the two of them exchanged before following me.

Truth to be told, the last time I ate would be the crackers from the day before, as I had just a bit in the afternoon after almost passing out.

Colby walked in the back, having taken over the camera from Sam and he recorded as we entered the forest.

I knew the walk would be about 20 minutes, so it wasn’t that bad, but I felt myself stress out when I became light headed.

Oh no, please, please not now.

Passing out has become normal now, the lack of food I’ve been consuming has been taking a toll on me. I never tell anyone, it’s my little secret, I didn’t need them to worry about me or feed me lies of how I was ‘beautiful’ because I know I’m not.

I stumbled and almost fell but steadied myself. “You alright there?” Sam turned around with a small grin and I gave him one back. “I’m fine,” I lied and we kept on walking, Cole shutting the camera off.

When the building came in sight he started it up again, and of course, as if fate had planned it, I fell and I noticed my consciousness slip away.

The last thing I felt was two arms around my waist and I was out.

I heard someone calling my name from afar and my eyes slowly opened.

“Oh, thank god, Sam! Sam she’s opened her eyes!” Colby called out. I slowly sat up. I was laying in the grass and I noticed Sam jogging over with his phone in his hands.

“Are you alright?” I looked at Colby who had a concerned look on his face and I nodded, trying to stand up but he put his hands on my shoulders.

“Woah, lets keep sitting down for a minute, love,” he said and I sat, rubbing my head. “How long was I out for?” I asked and Colby looked at his watch.

“Five minutes at least.” He told me. “Yeah, I tried calling for help, but there’s no service,” Sam said and I gave him a weirded out look.

“What help did you try to call?” I asked and he shrugged sheepishly. “Your mum, I thought maybe this had happened before,” he said and I sniffed.

“It happened a few times, but my mum doesn’t know, and don’t even think of telling her,” I said and the exchanged glances.

“You know what’s happening then?” Colby asked and I sighed. “I haven’t eaten in a moment, that’s probably it.” I confessed and Colby sighed.

“I told you that you should it this morning- when is the last time you ate?” He questioned. “Uhh, yesterday, some crackers,” I said and he clenched his teeth slightly.

“A decent meal,” he clarified and I bit my lip thinking back. “Tuesday, I think?” I said a bit uncertain. “That’s five days ago, Y/n!” He scolded and pursed my lips.

“Sorry,” I said in a small voice. Sam got his backpack of his shoulders and started to rummage trough it, pulling out an apple.

“Eat this,” he said and I took it from him, frowning at it a bit. “N/n,” he said and I sighed taking bite.

They made me sit for about ten minutes, and demanded I tell them why I wasn’t eating. With a bit of reluctance, I told them about how I felt, how I hated how I looked and that I felt like I was to fat.

The next twenty minutes where spent with them telling me all the things they liked about my look and my personality, giving me reasons to eat and demanding we go to a restaurant after this so I could eat a decent meal.

They also demanded I ate a desert, encouraging me to continue eating and not worry about my looks, because in their opinion, I looked beautiful.

At the end of the conversation, I had tears in my eyes, and I wiped them away, and I reassured them that it’d be fine to still film the video, as we all wanted to continue.

[kanmom51]

Just one bro posing for his bro

Have you ever asked yourself this question?

Like, seeing some of the BTS content, seeing JM and JK and what they get up to.

Seeing JK have this camera constantly on JM and how sometimes it's just TOO MUCH.

There are these moments I watch and I ask myself: "how can anyone think this is hetero behaviour?" And some of those I will be talking about in this post.

I mean, other clear non 'bro' behaviour would be this moment here:

This too.

Just saying.

Come to think about it, there was something in the air that day in Hong Kong 2019. Cause those two, they were wilding.

But this post is all about the poses.

Please tell me what bro poses like this for his bro?

That smirk. Seriously.

Like really.

Everyone is busy and the two of them are at it.

When I first saw this Run episode I was blown away. Like the way the others just accept these two and their shenanigans, it's just their normal day to day existence. Jikook wilding and them surviving it, lol.

And it's just them. In their own little world of "wtf is going on?".

This specific shoot of theirs was also interesting.

Once again, those poses. Once again, it's only the two of them. And JM clearly being naughty.

Clearly 'bro' behaviour.

You know.

"Come and get me bro" behaviour.

"I'm right here, what are you waiting for bro" behaviour.

"As soon as we finish shooting this episode I'm all yours bro" behaviour.

"Take these photos we can use them later bro" behaviour.

And definitley, JK 'bro' behaviour.

And when the bro isn't necessarily posing for his bro, but his bro really finds him sexy...

Yep. Definitely Bro behaviour.

A few more clearly bro behaviours.

Like staring down at your bro's lips.

I mean, how else are you supposed to read his lips when he is talking? Right?

And this. This one unbeknown to us is a huge one. Something you just don't do to your bro in public.

And yet the bro couldn't help it.

Ugh, this was supposed to be a post about poses. How did we get here?

Wait.

Can you blame me though?

So, here are a couple more bro behaviors to celebrate the end of this post:

Bros usually do kiss their bro's sweaty ear and then suck on it.

Definitley a bro reaction to his bro giving him a hickey.

Yeah, I guess I'll stop here.

I'll just leave you with one last image.

"Bros for life" (as some very 'wise' fans stated when this pic was posted).

[yeeehwa]

The Leaders

Pairing: ot8 Ateex x fem!reader

genre: mafia, gang, smut, fluff

w.c: 3.2k

warnings: blood. violence. cursing. slight strangulation. knives. please lmk if I missed anything <3

a/n: this is extremely unedited, but I wanted to post something I've had cookin for a while. title is in progress, as well as the plot, so please take it with a grain of salt. still a huge work in progress! please let me know what you think as feedback is always appreciated!

They’re coming.

The thought excited you more than it should, but they were finally coming. It made you giddy just thinking about it.

A static sounded in your ear as Hajoon, your gangs ‘technology specialist’ as he likes to correct you, spoke. “They’re on the grounds. Get into position.”

You scoffed, knowing full well he heard through the ear piece. “Bold of you to assume I’m not already in it.” You threw the baseball that had been resting on the desk into the air, catching it once gravity decided to intervene.

A cheeky smile formed on your face as he sighed in exasperation. “You do understand that I’m literally watching you throw the baseball around while you have your boots up on the Boss’s desk, throwing said baseball.”

Looking towards where you knew the cameras were placed, you stuck your tongue out.

“Oh, very mature Y/N.”

“Suck a dick Joon.” You pressed a button on the side of your in-ear, cutting the connection to him as you stood up. Slowly, you stretched your arms above your head, flicking the bird to the man you knew was monitoring your every move.

You knew him, and knew he was rolling his eyes at the gesture, but smiling at your image on his screens affectionately.

Rolling your neck and hearing a satisfying crack, you smiled, grabbed a small rope that hung from the beams in the ceiling, and started to climb. 

You settled yourself into the comfortable darkness of the shadows in the beams in the ceiling. Tucking your braided hair back into your hood, you pull it up over your head, and adjusted your black neck gaiter over your nose, leaving only your eyes exposed. You pulled the rope up next to you, making sure none of it was hanging.

A smirk came over your face as the doors burst open. Seven men entered the room in pairs, the lone man at the back of the group just sauntering in, eyes flicking around the room in disinterest. 

“Yeosang,” one of them whispered. “Where did your contact say it was?”

Contact? Traitor. There was a rat among your crew. You filed away the information to report back to the boss.

It was hard to keep track of all of the men in the room. You thought they’d only send two. HaJoon said there would most likely be two. ‘Shit.” 

Wooyoungs head jerked as he heard your quiet curse, following the direction the noise came from. You locked eyes with him, but he didn’t notice. Your full black outfit helping to keep you hidden. His brows furrowed, and he shook his head, telling himself that he had just imagined it.

Yunhos eyes shifted around the room. Something to him felt off. The air was tense, but there was a feeling in his gut that something wasn’t right. “Something doesn’t feel right Hwa.”

A slight nod from the man was all he got in acknowledgement. He felt it too. It was too easy for them to get in. Too easy to navigate, considering how much security their recon had reported strolling the grounds. 

“Keep your guard up.” The command from their Captain came through their in-ears. “This is most likely a trap.”

You stood then, smiling when you felt the satisfying stretch of your legs. A wolfish grin came over your face as you decided to make your grand entrance.

Arms stretched out to either side of you, rope grasped tightly in your hand, you slowly let yourself teeter on the edge, before falling. The adrenaline and anticipation of the fall and thought of a potential fight makes your heart jump in excitement.

You landed on the broad shoulders of the tallest one, surprising them all as you wrapped your legs around his neck, locking them, and using the momentum of catching him off guard to fling both of you forward. Putting all of your weight into it, you sent the both of you crashing down. Once you felt the solid floor underneath you, you rolled, using the forward motion to get back on your feet and disappear back into the shadows.

“What the fuck?” Mingi cried as he rushed towards Yunhos form. He laid there, stunned. Not unconscious, but dazed, trying to process the last few seconds. Mingi kneeled next to his best friend, helping him into a sitting position.

The others had their guns out and at the ready, wildly swinging them from side to side, aiming at nothing and everything. Looking for some kind of movement. Waiting for a noise from the assailant. Anything that would give them some kind of hint of what they were up against.

They all calmed down, giving it a second before striking again. Pulling some of your throwing knives from your belt, you silently took aim at the closest figure to you. A sickening squelching sound was heard as you hit your mark, the blade sinking into his arm.

Wooyoung yelped as he felt the stinging pain of the knife in his bicep. He panicked, firing his pistol in the general direction that it had come from. Yells and a cry for him to stop as the rest of them ducked down, trying to avoid the friendly fire. “What’s happening?” Hongjoong radioed in. He heard the commotion, but felt detached that he couldn’t see and assess the situation. 

“They have a Ninja!” Wooyoung screeched as San pulled the small knife from his arm, tightening the band that he had around his arm as a makeshift tourniquet.

“An assassin.” Seonghwa shot Wooyoung a look. “They knew we were coming.”

“Get the files and get out.” five pairs of eyes looked at Yeosang, who nodded in return and slipped away.

Choosing to ignore him for now, you eyed the situation in front of you, assessing who to target next. What you should use on him. Your dagger? The whip you keep on your side? A wide smile spread across your face as an idea struck you.

You let yourself make noise. Boots pounding on the hardwood floor as you slowly emerged from the shadows, cocking your head to the side, and held both your arms up in a surrender. Smirking under your mask, you spoke. “Didn’t anyone tell you it’s not fair to bring a gun to a knife fight?” The sounds of bullets being chambered caused you no concern. You enjoyed this game.

“Who are you?” A venomous look in the eyes of Jongho. His hands were free of weapons, but you knew how deadly his fists were. Unlike them, you had done your research.

“Aww Baby Bear. You don’t recognize me?” you pouted at him. “I’m hurt. I remember you.” 

“Y…Y/N?” Yunho addressed you, one arm slung around Mingi’s shoulder as he fully lifted him off the ground. 

“It’s Mist. But close enough.” You shrugged.

Tension hung in the air as they processed. Mist. The assassin known all over the underground, ruthless, deadly. San glanced down at the throwing knife he pulled out of Wooyoung, seeing your cursive M on the handle. The calling card you left at every kill.

Seonghwas eyes scanned you up and down. He was the only one whose expression never changed once they realized it was you. His eyes were cold, and calculated. “You’re not my Y/N.”

HaJoon then decided to interrupt. “Girl, what the hell are you doing?”

Rolling your eyes you let out an exasperated sigh. “Joon, I'm having fun.” you whined out at him.

“Boss is gonna kill you if you keep going. Take them out and grab the files. Order from the Boss.” a disconnecting sound came and you rolled your eyes again.

“Well.” You sounded disappointed. “I’d hate to ruin such a pretty face.” you shrugged. “All well.” Your fingers quickly tapped a button you had rigged on your palms, and more of your throwing knives shot into the air. Catching them, you didn’t hesitate to immediately throw them at Seonghwa.

He dodged, pulling his pistol from its holster and aimed towards you. He lost sight as you jumped back into the shadows.

“Get out of there.” Hongjoong command. His self control strung tight as he heard your voice. It had snapped when you confirmed it was, in fact, you. His frustration came out in a growl, and he pulled his only way to communicate with the others out of his ear, smashing it. Anger for what you had become. Sadness that he couldn’t stop it. Emotions squeezed his heart as he swept all of the plans, his desk lamp, and a replica of his favorite ship, onto the floor, shattering on impact. Another frustrated noise left him as he sat in his pile of destruction.

“Captain?” Mingi had kept repeating.

“You heard him. We have to go.” Seonghwa quickly started taking steps back, eyes and gun never leaving the spot where you disappeared. A flash of silver came for him out of his peripheral, and he moved, but not soon enough. The sharpened edge caught his cheek, leaving a shallow cut. 

“Hwa, without the files?” Wooyoung darted to take a step towards the darkness. A rope shot out from the darkness, lassoing itself around Wooyoungs neck, pulling him into you.

“Hey there gorgeous,” you kissed his cheek as you tightened the rope around his neck. “No hard feelings.” 

His fingered clawed at your hands, trying to make you loosen your grip on it, as something slammed into you, throwing you to the floor.

“Ah. Yeosang. I was wondering when you were gonna show up. My sweet little Doberman to the rescue.” You stood up, dusted yourself off, and motioned for Yeosang to come at you. He stood there, just staring at you.

“Are you gonna make the first move? Or are you too much of a pussy?” You batted your lashes at him. “Sweet baby Yeosang. Who couldn’t hurt a fly. Just like I re- oof!” the wind was knocked out of you as he rushed you, his shoulder making contact with your chest and knocking you flat on your back.

You laughed. Even though he didn’t say anything, you knew you got under his skin. You coughed, groaning as you caught your breath, but still, you couldn’t help but rile him up even more. You tutted your tongue towards him and rolled to your side, spitting out a bit of blood. “I see I hit a nerve there.”

He scoffed at you, and looked over his shoulder quickly, making sure the others were getting out. He saw them all quickly rushing out, Wooyoung being supported by San as he sputtered and coughed. Angry red marks were seen all around his neck, thanks to you and your rope. Yeosangs vision turned red as he saw the marks, and saw how you just laughed and taunted him.

He stalked towards you, hand coming down to grasp your throat, grip tight. He picked you up and slammed you into the wall. You winced a bit as the back of your head made contact with the wall.

“Oh kinky. It’s always the quiet ones that are the freaks.” Gasping for breath and dizzy from the impact of your head, you still were able to get a quip out, which made the hand around your throat tighten, and his other hand made its way to your hair, pushing your head roughly back into the wall.

He looked down at you, as you started at him, slightly dazed from both hits to your head. He smirked. “Not so big and strong now, are you Y/N-nnie?” His grip tightened even more. “Can’t hide in the shadows anymore.”

He felt your hands weaken its grasp on his own, before falling limp at your side. Your body slumped as you slipped into unconsciousness.

The hold on your throat was released, your unconscious body falling unceremoniously to the floor. Yeosang turned his back on you, bag slung over his shoulder. He didn’t look back.

“Did you kill her?” Yunho questioned; his only acknowledgement of Yeosang regrouping with them. A small shake of his head, and a sigh of relief came from him and a few others.

“Did you get them?”

Yeosang unzipped his bag, showcasing its contents to the others. In it, they saw a pile of papers, folders, and even a miniature of an old pirate ship. Hongjoong will be happy.

A heated discussion broke out between San and Wooyoung, drawing the attention of the others. “We have to go back,” San finally announced.

“We can’t.” the monotone Seonghwas voice 

“Y/N is there!”

“Y/N picked her side. There’s nothing we can do about it. We got what we were after.” The door slammed as the car took off, taking them away from you and back to their Captain.

[valy-gc]

It's MC time guys!!

So I showed you Dust and Bram. They are two of my favorite MCs of thoses I created/imagined.

And now are some other favorites and it's 3 in 1!

Here is Kross (depressed one), Rinri (blond and glasses) and Jia (pink bows).

Their stories after the image (there is a lot but I love them so if you like them please read their story ^^)

Their backstories (it's long, you can go lower to have the Twisted Wonderland part, after the "what's in my bag" images):

First of all, let me clear a misunderstanding. Rinri and Jia are boys. Yep, the three of them are boys. Jia and Rinri aren't trans. Everything is explained bellow :)

They are triplets. Or more like, they considere themselves triplets. They have the same father, the great ultra rich Edward Murong, but they have three different mothers, the three living in three separates houses next to each other. But the three are born the same days, with just minutes of difference.

Their mothers were best friends. And they were friend with Anne-Marie Murong, Edward's wife. Edward was a real jerk, mysogyne and arrogant, thinking only of his compagny and producing a worthy heir. Heir he actually have with his wife. He don't care about any of his kids, not even his heir. They're just tools to him.

Jia and Rinri's mothers were really similare. They were gold digger bimbo, only thinking of appearance and they wanted girls. So, when they both gave birth to boys... they decided to raise them as girls.

Jia and Rinri DON'T identifie as female even if they actually don't care if peoples use she/her. It even amuse them. However, they loves dresses, skirts, frills, makeup and cute things. Rinri love gothic-cute and Jia love pastel-cute.

Jia and Rinri can't do anything by themselves. Their mothers, after having Edward's kids, received a huge allowance to raise them/to not bother Edward. So they had a housemaid, gardener... and a lot of pocket money to order food and anything they want. They were constantly alone, with a lot of restrictions (and the maid and gardener as the watchers). Their mothers wanted to have some sort of "stupid girls", just little gold diggers like them. So they taught them (more like paid someone for it) makeup, fashion, and to always have fun and let the "little people" do the hard work.

Jia and Rinri had to study in secret. They both have ADHD and are actually very smart boys but often "play" the stupid pretty girls, force of habit to have to be like this to please their mother (and it became funny to them, the look on people's face when they reveal how smart they are). Their mother also often introduced them as their "daughter" to old rich men. If they both look sweet and a little stupid, better not hurt Kross, because they become feral.

Despite all this, they are usually two ray of sunshine, always looking for the good way and they both love (family love, but they're really ultra close, that's why they say they're triplets) each other and Kross.

Rinri suck at drawing, he usually just do doodles, while Jia love aquarel painting with pastel colors of course. They both LOVE sewing their own dresses. Jia is really good a nail art and love video games, while Rinri is very good at singing and love nature and animals. His favorite animal is the crocodiles he call "swamp puppies". Jia prefer cats.

They're both influencer on instagram, posting cute selfies and pics, and showing of their sewing work.

Now, what about Kross?

Kross lived in the third house next to them. His mother didn't wanted girls or boys, she just didn't wanted kids at all, and made his life a hell. He was a little servant for her from an early age, often taking a beating or left to starve. She could cuff him to a heater when she was going out to meet mens and was hyper exigent for how the house was cleaned and picky about her food. The smallest little mistake was good excuse for a beating. he didn't even had a bedroom, sleeping in the garage with an old ripped blanket.

Since his mother, just like her two friends, was often out of the house, Rinri and Jia were always coming to his rescue. Rinri learned to pick lock so he could free Kross when he was cuffed to the heater.

Kross learned to cook very early and to master it very early too since mistake was leading to beating. So he was often cooking for his brothers too since they can't do anything.

In the opposite of his brother, due to a way harder life, Kross is usually gloomy. He lack self-confidence, often apologizes for everything and have protection reflexes when someone is angry near him. His brothers are kind of his safe zone. He also have social phobia and anxiety, to the point that he get into a panick attack if someone else than Jia or Rinri touch him (even just a light touch) He's actually fine with being in a crowd, as long as he's not alone (especially with one of the two with him) but he will rarely talk to peoples. He's always afraid of bothering peoples and tend to think nobody would care if he disappeared.

Kross love cooking, he's good at drawing and singing, even if he was doing that in secret. He's good a hairstyle on others, often doing Rinri and Jia's hair and he's smart just like his brothers.

While Jia and Rinri love taking care of themselves (like Vil) have a ton of product in their bathroom, ten different brushes and comb, a huge collection of makeup and accessories, Kross don't. He let them dress him, just refuse to wear anything too extravagant, comb his hair and do his makeup. He don't like bright color, he prefer black so he's not easily noticable. He don't like cutting his hair because he can hide with it, but he tied them in a bun when he cook.

Because of receiving beating from as long as he remember, more and more violent as he was getting older, Kross developped (as a copping mechanisme) an addiction to pain. His full legs and arms, from ankle to thigh and from wrist to shoulder, are full of cuts. He don't try to die. He don't WANT to die (thanks his brothers, they keep telling him they need him, so he want to live for them, that's the only way). He just seek the pain.

-

-!- Jump this next part if you are sensitive about r*pe attempt -!-

-

With the approval of his mother, a man tried to assault Kross. Kross was terrified and panicked, grabbed a bottle and broke it on the man's head. He was a little assomed but became more violent... until Kross grabed the broken bottle and sliced that man's throat.

-

-!- You can read from here -!-

-

After the altercation, Kross fled from his house to his brothers. Rinri and Jia were both in Jia's house (the three mothers were out... maybe in a nightclub). They both immediately helped him. it's after that he became really scared of people's touch. The three decided this moment they couldn't live like this anymore. They took some of their thing and ran away.

Not too long before that, they heard their "father" was dead and the Heir, Hai-Lee Murong, took over the weapon making compagny... to shut it down and make a model agency instead. (Hai-Lee is actually the one who killed his father) so the triplets though the best thing to do was to seek protection to their half-brother, despite the news saying he was cold and arrogant.

They discovered Hai-Lee was indeed cold but very humble. he's just wary of peoples because his life wasn't very prettier than their. When he heard how was their life until now, everything they lived and what happened recently with Kross, he immediately took them under his wing. He used his relations to arrest the three mothers. Jia and Rinri's for negligence, and Kross' for child abuse and murder (he put the man's murder on her)

He then trained his three brothers. Because the model agency, as was the weapon factory before, is a cover. in three giant basements, Hai-Lee have a very special work. Collecting artifacts to keep them safe, far from humans who could use it for bad, and also capturing cryptids and others creatures for two reasons: first, good creatures, to keep them safe. Second, dangerous creatures, to keep humans safe. His basement is full of aliens, unicorns, mermaids, slenderman... well all type of monsters and creatures. Some of the good creatures are actually working with him. All the model, photographers, makeup artists... well every single employee of his agency is in the secret and help him, as well as his family (they have another brother) and they are all trained in three others basements, one for all type of guns, one for close-fight weapon (sword, knife...) and one for fighting sport aithout weapons.

Hai-Lee also tried to help Kross with his pain addiction, by seing psy and all, but then offered him to get piercing. So that's why he have both ears fully pierced. he also have one at the eyebrow, tongue, each n*pple, belly button and... uh... a certain place.

The triplets ALWAYS have a gun in their bag, Kross with demonic bullets, Rinri with silver bullets, Jia with angelic bullets, and have each a protective artifact Hai-Lee gave them.

Kross have a tongue piercing, a little spider. If he take it off and use the pin to trace in the air, he will open a portal to any destination he already visited. He will discover that's not working for going from a world to another.

Rinri have an ancient amulet repelling malevolent spirits and curses. He keep it hidden in his clothes.

Jia have a ring, known to purify any poison or toxin that comes into contact with the wearer, whether ingested or inflicted through a wound.

Rinri and Jia also became models for him, while Kross prefered becoming photographer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now about Twisted Wonderland:

The three arrive at the same time... and in the same coffin/portal. Of course Rinri and Jia loving cute things immediately adore Grim. While Crowley was thinking of sending the two to an all-girl school instead, he was surprised to hear they were in fact boys too.

Of course Crewel and Vil like the two "girls" because they love fashion and sewing. Kross is closer with crowley, since he's really helpful and will never say no to anything, force of habit.

They are "One student" the three of them + Grim. Each taking care of the subject they're good at (Like, Rinri take care of Biology homeworks)

Each join a different club. Mountain Lovers for Rinri. Film studies for Jia. And Gargoyles research for Kross. Even Grim join Board Games.

Jia and Rinri love brushing Grim's fur and adding accessories to him and will always try to add accessories on peoples. Rinri is bossy, not in a bad way. Meaning he's good as being a leader and will totally put jerk in their place, with violence if needed. (and it's often the case)

Jia is more the type to be like "I'll destroy you on social media". Of course the two will join magicam as soon as they can to continue being cutie influencers.

I know it's not a dating sim but I have couples for them.

Rinri with the octa-trio

Jia with Idia

Kross with Malleus and Leona (yep I love making even more rivalry between thoses two XD)

No need to say, both Jia and Rinri have a lot of fun with Floyd especially. They both loves hugs and will always allow him to "squeeze" them to not let him touch Kross.

If someone touch Kross and put him in panick attack, one of the two (or the two at the same time) will respond with a punch.

Also about their uniforms... Jia and Rinri made them. And when thoses aware ask them why they made dresses if they are boys, like "You know your mothers aren't there to force you anymore?" they will both answer "I don't wear cute panties to hide them in pants!"...cause yes, both wears cute panties, gothic black or red with lace for Rinri, cutie pastel ones with childish designs for Jia. They ever wear girls' swimwears.

[excineribusbooks]

Resource Post: Supplies, Equipment, and Software

So I've had some people ask about the supplies and equipment I use to make my books! This is not a comprehensive list, nor is it an official tutorial on how to make a book (for that, I recommend starting with Renegade Publishing's resource documents, DAS Bookbinding, or SeaLemon's YouTube tutorials -- all free, no patreon required!), but if you're floundering because you don't know what you need to get, hopefully this will help a little bit ❤️ If I discover more good resources or change up my style, I'll add to this post.

Of note: I'm based in the US, so this list is unfortunately pretty US-centric. Apologies!

SUPPLIES

Disclaimer #1: I have a background in book conservation, so I'm picky to a fault about the supplies I use. To make a long-lasting book, you want to look for "acid-free" or "archival" materials -- BUT, a lot of consumer craft stores have realized those are good buzzwords to slap on products even if they aren't really archival. Your best bet is to buy from stores that supply materials to libraries and archives; those tend to be higher quality and stick to actual archival standards. Talas, Hollander's, University Products, and Colophon Book Arts Supply are good places to start.

That said! If price matters more than longevity, hitting up Michaels or Joann Fabrics is totally fine. This is a hobby. The bookbinding police are not gonna come smash down your door because you didn't use archival-quality craft paper. My big recommendation, though: at least get your glue and paste from Talas. High-quality adhesive makes a huge difference in how well, and how long, a book holds together. Bad adhesives can turn brittle with time, stain your paper/cloth, and make all your hard work fall apart.

So, all that said, here's what I use:

BOARD - Davey Binder's Board, 0.098" GLUE - Jade 403 PVA PASTE - Zen Shofu wheat paste (you shouldn't have to buy more than half a pound -- a little goes a long way) CLOTH - Either Arrestox or Dover bookcloth, which comes in a wide variety of colors and holds up extremely well to whatever you want to do to it THREAD - 25/3 linen thread, which I run over a small block of beeswax to make it easier to handle and give it better "locking" properties as I sew. For bigger books of ten signatures or more, I sew onto 3/8" linen tapes for extra support. DECORATIVE PAPER - Hollander's is a treasure trove of decorative papers for endsheets and covers; Talas has some really nice ones, too, but they tend to be pricier (since unfortunately everything at Talas has gotten a lot pricier lately) PRINTING PAPER - Hammermill Colors paper, 20lb, in cream; 24lb is also a good weight that feels a little more substantial than regular printer paper. (I'll probably switch to 24lb once my 20lb paper runs out.) To get the right grain direction, I buy a ream of 11x17 paper and cut it in half to make standard letter-sized sheets (8.5x11). Here's a quick primer on grain direction and why it's important when making a book! ENDBANDS - I've never had the patience to sew my own endbands (though I hope to gain that patience someday!), so I just use premade ones like these.

EQUIPMENT

Disclaimer #2: a lot of the stuff on this list is professional-grade (or close to it) with prices to match. You definitely don't have to buy everything right off the bat. It took me fifteen years to accumulate it all, and you can DIY a lot of bookbinding equipment -- a good googling will lead you to all sorts of innovative ways hobby bookbinders set up their shops. The Renegade Publishing resource documents also have a lot of A+ recommendations.

PRINTER - For text, I use a Brother B&W laser printer with auto-duplex (auto-duplex is key when printing a book); for images, both B&W and color, I use a Canon color inkjet printer set to at least 300 DPI. I fully admit having two printers is an absurd setup, but what laser printers can do well, inkjets absolutely suck at, and vice-versa -- and like I said, I'm hella picky. You can get by fine with a single laser printer! Just make sure it's got auto-duplex to save yourself a lot of pain. GUILLOTINE - I have this model, which goes in and out of stock with some regularity. The trick with this guy is to (a) sandwich your text block between some scrap board so the clamp doesn't leave a dent, and (b) REALLY CRANK DOWN on the clamp as tight as you possibly can to keep the paper from shifting as you cut. This fixes 99% of the skewing problems mentioned in the reviews. PRESS - I have a little cast-iron press I bought off a coworker for fifty bucks; similarly, you might have luck searching eBay, looking at Affordable Bookbinding Equipment (Jim does incredible work!), searching craft stores for a flower press, or even just using two pieces of wood and a few C-clamps. SeaLemon on YouTube also has a good video on how to DIY a book press. PRESS BOARDS - For setting the hinges in the press, I use a pair of brass-edged boards like these. It's a good investment if you want to get really nice, crisp hinges, but it's also 100% possible to DIY brass-edged boards if you want. At my very first job, we even set our hinges by taping sewing needles to the book before putting it in the press! FINISHING PRESS - I have this one, which I use to back my books in combination with these backing irons BACKING HAMMER - To my chagrin, I've discovered that having an actual backing hammer makes backing a book way, way easier. Some folks have had good luck with a cobbler's hammer or just a regular old hammer from a hardware store, but I splurged on a student hammer from Hollander's, and it works fantastically. (I wouldn't recommend buying the "professional" hammers, though, because seriously, $90 for a hammer?! No.) BONE FOLDER - I'm actually not a fan of bone folders made from real bone; I like Teflon folders a lot better for scoring and flattening. (Real bone folders tend to burnish the material, an effect I'm rarely going for.) CUTTING MACHINE - A Silhouette Curio. This is 100% optional, but it's how I do the bulk of my cover designs, including cut-outs, embossing, foiling (with a foil quill attachment), and spine titling. The software and overall quality are way better than Cricut, and its 5mm clearance means you can fit more than just vinyl in there. Sadly, Silhouette has discontinued the Curio, but it's still possible to buy from third-party sellers -- and if you don't care about the 5mm clearance, I've heard good things about the Silhouette Cameo line.

A side note on vinyl, from the obnoxiously picky book conservator: if you're aiming for longevity with your books, using HTV in your book designs may not be the best idea. Not only can the adhesives be questionable, but the plasticizers in vinyl break down in really weird, gross ways once several decades have passed. That's why I tend to stick with cut-outs and foiling instead of HTV. But, again: if you just want to make something pretty, don't worry about it!

SOFTWARE

TYPESETTING - I use Affinity Publisher -- it's similar to Adobe InDesign, but with a flat cost instead of a bullshit subscription model. I am by no means an expert in this, since I've only been designing books for a couple years; pretty much everything I learned, I learned from Aliya Regatti's tutorial, plus or minus a lot of googling and noodling around. I've discovered that it does get cranky if your book is over 250 pages or so, meaning you may have to split longer fics into multiple files. That said, I've been really happy with it, and it goes on sale every now and then if the $70 price tag is too much.

As always, Renegade Publishing has a whole lot of tutorials for other software options, including Microsoft Word, InDesign, LaTeX, and Scribus if you already have access to one of those instead.

IMPOSITION - "Imposition" is when you lay out a book so all the pages are in order once you fold + gather the signatures. Since Affinity Publisher doesn't do this automatically on export, I use Bookbinder 3.0, which is an old but nice little Java program that breaks a single PDF into a series of properly imposed signatures. I usually set it to 6 sheets per signature.

MISCELLANEOUS

IMAGES

The Noun Project is a gigantic repository of basic SVGs and PNGs that are not only great for cutting machines, but for adding flourishes to your title page, chapter headings, and scene dividers. Every single book I've made has used at least one image from here; I pay for the yearly Noun Pro subscription, but it's not necessary to use the site.

Unsplash is perfect for photo elements

Pixabay not only has a great archive of photos, but illustrations and vector images as well

Surprisingly, Wikipedia also has a lot of good Creative Commons photos attached to their articles!

FONTS

1001Fonts is a good starting point for finding free fonts, as is FontSpace and DaFont

If you're willing to pay for fonts (and sometimes it's worth it for a well-designed font that's perfect for your project), Creative Fabrica and Pixel Surplus have some good stuff, including discounted bundles of multiple fonts

[badcaseofcasey]

Steddie Soulmate/Met as Kids AU - Part 7 (The End) Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

a/n: we’ve made it to the end, folks! I have had so much fun posting this and seeing all of your reactions as I went, so thanks for coming along on this ride with me! I’ll be posting the full fic to AO3 soon, so keep an eye out for that. Without further ado, the final installment (for now…)!

The next thing Steve knew, he was blinking back against the light, the room filled with a warm late morning sun. He and Eddie had gravitated towards each other during the night and he woke up with his arm slung low across Eddie’s hips. They were still facing each other so Steve could see Eddie’s peaceful expression as he slept.

Steve let out a huge sigh of relief when he felt Eddie’s breath moving his arm up and down where it rested. According to the clock on the nightstand, Steve had gotten a miraculous six hours of sleep without waking up from a nightmare or tossing and turning over worries about whether or not everyone was safe. Steve knew it was likely because the person he worried about the most had been lying safely next to him.

The other benefit to sharing a bed with Eddie was that he got to watch as the other man slowly woke, eyes scrunching up to keep out as much of the light as possible, to stay in his cocoon of sleep as long as he could. It was adorable, Steve didn’t mind admitting it, and he couldn’t help the smile across his features either.

“You see something you like?” Eddie asked, voice rough with sleep. “Just saying, it’s been a while since I’ve woken up to a pretty boy in my bed looking at me like that.”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Take me out to dinner first, Munson.”

Eddie’s eyes slowly opened and Steve noticed, not for the first time, that they were the color of molten chocolate when the light hit them just right.

“Morning,” Steve said. “How do you feel?”

“Like a bunch of interdimensional hell beasts used me as a chew toy,” he responded. “But I feel less like that than I did yesterday, so I’m going to count it as a win.”

“Good,” Steve said.

They were both quiet for a few minutes, soaking in the warmth of the sun streaming in through the windows and of each other’s body in the bed next to them. Eventually, Eddie sighed and held his eyes open.

“I think I promised you a conversation,” Eddie began.

“That you did,” Steve said, steeling himself.

“I just want to know… What does all this mean to you?” Eddie asked. “Because for a long time, I had this idea in my head of what would happen when I found my soulmate again, but then we did see each other and it was… not like that. But recently, things have been different and I know you and I both aren’t the same kids we were at the park, or even the ones we were in high school. So.”

“So,” Steve agreed. “I see why you’d want to talk about that.”

“And I grew up with this image of my soulmate as this dragon slayer, the person who could battle away anything that was bothering me and make it all okay again. And not two weeks ago I watched you do literally that - with demobats instead of dragons, but still.”

Steve laughed slightly. He was suddenly self-conscious about where his arm rested on Eddie’s hip, but when he tried to pull it back, Eddie just scooted closer to keep Steve’s hand where it was. Eddie’s arm was steadfastly around Steve’s shoulders as it had been when they’d fallen asleep.

“And, to put it all out on the table,” Eddie continued, “because I literally almost died and that puts things in perspective like no other, let me tell you, and because I’m sick of not saying it anymore - I’ve kind of been falling steadily head over heels in love with you since I saw you kill a demobat with your teeth, and I don’t see that changing any time soon.”

Steve sucked in a breath, eyes wide. He wasn’t quite sure he had heard Eddie correctly. After everything he’d done to basically reject Eddie over the years, he hadn’t dreamed that Eddie could really love him. And yet, here Eddie was, admitting it out loud and without shame that he didn’t just love Steve, but that he was in love with him. And wasn’t that a miracle, in and of itself.

But Steve must have been processing in silence too long, because it was Eddie’s turn to try and pull away, muttering about how he didn’t expect anything, and how he knew that there were such a thing as platonic soulmates, and it was okay if Steve didn’t feel the same way - and that just wouldn’t do.

Steve used the hand on Eddie’s hip to keep him still and brought his other one up to cup Eddie’s cheek where it rested against the pillow and angle his face so that Steve could press their lips together in a sweet, but sure kiss.

Eddie sucked in a breath as soon as their lips touched and Steve could sense his surprise even before he pulled back to look at him.

“I’ve already got the one platonic soulmate,” Steve said. “And honestly, she’s kind of a handful. Not sure I could handle another.”

Eddie looked at Steve like he was a wondrous thing and huffed out a laugh. “Thank god. Because I was talking a big game about being fine with whatever you were ready for, but I think it honestly would have killed me if you had wanted to keep things friendly.”

“Definitely not,” Steve smiled before leaning in to kiss Eddie again, this time angling his body a bit more on top of Eddie’s so Eddie’s head could rest on the pillow.

They stayed like that for hours, swapping gentle kisses - and some not so gentle - and basking in the glow of being together and on the same page for the first time since they were kids in a park fighting dragons. 

Steve had nearly stopped in his tracks when he pushed Eddie’s shirt up to feel the warm, still-healing skin and saw his own handwriting snaking along Eddie’s rib cage. Eddie had been right - there were a few letters missing and a few others stretched into scar tissue, but they were still perfect to Steve, and it felt like a punch to the gut to see them there for the first time, proof that Steve hadn’t lost Eddie after all.

Eventually, they would leave the safety and stillness of their bed to start their day, running into Wayne in the kitchen who gave them a knowing look when they arrived together from the downstairs bedroom. They would find their way around each other, adjusting when needed to fit the other into their respective lives. Eddie never did move out of Steve’s place, even when he was fully-healed, not until they all moved out - Wayne to his new trailer, furnished by a shady wing of the US government, Eddie and Steve to their first apartment together.

And though the rest of the dragons they would face were of the metaphorical kind rather than the interdimensional hell beast variety, they would always face them together.

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[laurark]

2023 Wrap Up

A strange year that was both long and short. The main lesson to learn from 2023 is the same lesson I have been learning every year since I was 6 years old: Things happen if you try!

 I spent a lot of time this year hitting my head against a wall, or rather healing from an RSI that caused making art to become really fraught. I could bear the wrist pain in order to do my favorite thing (drawing!!!) but then the pain stuck around after I had clocked out for the day and was making dinner. It would go like this: I want to make pasta sauce using canned tomatoes, but using a can opener is so painful now that maybe I should just do something else. The onions and garlic are already cooking in the pan though, what can I pivot that to? I felt like the biggest dunce in the world. I worked my way into being cursed, I deserved it.

I have this craving to just commit to a big art project, like a graphic novel, and keep my head down working on it. Having all my time devoted to work feels a bit like doing penance, like earning my bread. But I look at the world and I know I cannot draw my way out of this. I can’t write my way out of this. I can’t post my way out of this. I am unprepared for what I need to do to earn a better tomorrow. But I am prepared to learn.

I changed up my desk ergonomics and my wrist healed. Thank you to the huge desk easel that I stole from my parents’ house. It’s ugly, heavy, stained, and I keep banging my elbows on its sharp corners. It sucks but it saved my life. Do not resist making your workspace uglier if it might help you! 

Making The Influence and participating in the ShortBox Comics Fair was a huge work highlight this year. I’m so grateful I can make a work with dark themes and have it be understood and appreciated. The encouraging response to The Influence did a lot to kill the bad faith reviewer in my mind. Things are possible if you try!

I started painting again and I really love it. I’m trying to just follow the image-making. Painting is play to me and I want it to remain so. I feel myself itch to turn it into some kind of profitable thing, to make it palatable, but I’m trying to resist so it remains a place of experimentation. 

I also wrote a short novel. It’s awful. I just re-read it and it’s so bad, but reading it makes me happy. It needs serious reworking to be a proper novel, but I did technically cross the finish line and write the whole story. It was very refreshing and informative to branch out like this, even if I don’t think this particular example is fit for human consumption. Earlier in my life I was so stubborn about ONLY working in comics but now I’d like to pursue whatever path I can to have a creative career. If you try!

I had a great time tabling at Short Run this year. Two different people came to my table and told me they came to the show specifically to see my table. One person said Bug Boys was responsible for facilitating “many special moments” with them and their niece. I don’t want to forget about moments like this. It means a lot to me. 

It occurs to me as I type out this year’s accomplishments, they’re mostly things I did at home alone. I haven’t rejoined the world after COVID in a meaningful way, the way I hoped I would during lockdown. It comes naturally to me to make up excuses to stay home, keep my head down, watch how things play out before joining in. That attitude does me a disservice. It isolates me. When other people are only in the screen, they become hypothetical. It’s not right to live this way, but it’s comfortable to me. It feels “safe” after COVID, even though it’s not safe. I know I need to change this. 

It feels sick and strange to be blogging in my safe little apartment during a time of bloodshed. To flip through my planner and think of my future while others starve is obscene. My entire life was obscene in this fashion. It’s my responsibility to sit with this feeling and do something with it.

Here’s to a better 2024. We can do it, we can try. 

In love and solidarity, 

Laura K.

[phasecomic]

Copy pasting Terry trivia and info here

Terrance is strict, fatherly, rigid and eloquent. Most of the people he’s ever been close to he ends up taking care of. He also feels compelled to teach his own way of living, wanting his loved ones to be better examples of People so they won’t reflect poorly on his own image. Past all of this strictness and judgement, Terry is a soft masochist, he’s witty, flamboyant, and a huge suck up, though this is part of his own manipulative nature, even if it’s being under someones boot, he’s sure he’s getting what he wants.

Devout christian, victim of conversion therapy. traditionalist. 

Terrance Mathew's original name is Terrance Adams, he changed it when he moved away from his home town in his 30's. He is hiding from his past but he yearns for his ex friend to return to him and mess his life up again. He victimizes himself but he has enabled alot of that behavior just for entertainment. He's very inlove. 

 Terrance is a homosexual in deep denial about it, Because of this he attempted a marriage in his 20's when pressured by those around him. It was mostly to keep appearances. 

 before changing identities he made alot of money building robots that performed small tasks for people, post change he stopped just to disassociate from his former self. He doesn't really want people to recognize him for what he's done, but he wants to show off very badly deep down. Since he has gotten a implant in his brain to dull his powers his personality completely shifted, He is fearful he is now a scrawny man who could easily be hurt by just anyone, and he suffers severe ptsd from the past abuse he endured in general

 His roommate bailey is someone he's drawn to because he reminds him of a safer version of the man he's in love with, he sometimes mixes the two up. He would never admit this though and insists he just wants to help the guy on his feet and enjoys the quiet that comes with his ability to block psi. He is very weak to Bailey's manipulation because of the connection to tony in his head. The longer he lives with him the more he sees him as his own individual self and he doesn't want to face how he feels about him. Terry and Bailey are codependent like Terry and tony were, Terry is just drawn to relationships where he is serving and being used.  

[luna13e-blog]

Rosekiller. TW: Mentions of abuse, necromancy, dead rabbits.

"I'm going to kill him", Barty said through clenched teeth but his hand kept softly tracing the scars over Evan's back. Some were almost invisible but some other were new, angry pink over pale skin. They weren't there before the summer.

"I've had it worst", Evan shrugged.

Barty flinched, remembering second year when Evan came back to school with three broken ribs, left unhealed. "I know." It took him and Regulus a month to make him talk and a while more to make him smile again. "It doesn't make me want to kill him less."

Evan shuffled on his chest, moving to be able to see him. His blue eyes looked at him with worry. "I'm sorry", he mumbled.

Barty sighed, his hand still tracing patterns over Evan's skin. "It's not you who I am mad with, big boy."

"But I made you upset", Evan argued before letting his head fall again. "M'sorry".

Barty looked at the head of blonde hair over his chest and the huge body that suddenly looked small in there. He sighed, nuzzling the top of Evan's head with his nose. "Don't ever apologize for this".

"But..."

"Don't."

Even nodded slightly, closing his eyes. "I'm getting better at it", he whispered, "I'll be better next time and he'll stop."

Barty's eyebrow furrowed. "Evan..."

"It's fine." There wasn't anything fine with any of it.

"I swear..."

"Don't kill him, Barty"

"Why?!"

"Because if he dares to touch you, I'd have to kill him again and necromancy isn't my strong suit", the blonde stated simply.

Barty looked at him surprised but Evan didn't notice. A hint of a smile still creeped its way up his mouth. "Have you tried?"

"Mhm", Evan mumbled between a yawn. "Last year. A dead rabbit I found in the backyard."

"Why?"

"I was bored", Evan shrugged again. "He looked like good company, he wasn't."

Barty stared at the huge boy on his chest and his jaw sets again at the image of Evan alone in his parent's summer house. The scars seem to shine under the dim light that finds its way through his bed curtains. He stayed quiet while Evan slowly fell asleep with a peaceful expression he never had when he was awake.

"I'll kill him", he whispered again, low enough not to wake Evan up.

It was a promise.

Even when, at sixteen, there wasn't much he could do.

~~~~~~

Notes: For reasons I can't comprehend this was written hearing 16 and in love by Spencer Jordan. And yes. I'm trying to write shorter things. Not really succeeding.

Pd: They are fucked up kids and I love them, your honor.

Since you people like this two as much as I, let me introduce you to this post sister: